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Speaker 1: Quests Love Supreme is a production of iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: What y'all, it's Layah and we are so proud to

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Speaker 2: present part two of our recent conversation with Billy Porter.

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Speaker 3: Now, before we get to.

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Speaker 2: Business, please make sure you caught part one because in

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Speaker 2: that episode, Billy speaks about his early days in Pittsburgh,

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Speaker 2: working to prove himself as a singer and an actor,

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Speaker 2: and some of the deep hardships he's overcome.

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Speaker 3: And this conversation is what QLs is all about.

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Speaker 2: It is passionate, knowledgeable, and relatable and we really hope

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Speaker 2: that you enjoy it.

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Speaker 3: Oh and while you're at it, please give.

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Speaker 2: QLs a rating or a review or follow and send

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Speaker 2: to a friend, because without you, there is no US.

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Speaker 2: No Seriously, if y'all don't listen, there will be no US. Okay,

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Speaker 2: now seriously, back to Billy Porter. Make sure you mbo

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Speaker 2: bladders and get your tissues. It's about to get real.

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Speaker 4: My question to you and hyper aware to not ask

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Speaker 4: you basic questions that you get twenty four to seven.

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Speaker 4: But I am curious because I understand that one of

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Speaker 4: my biggest dismays of the developments in the last four

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Speaker 4: to five years, especially in hip hop. It's just the

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Speaker 4: rampant amount of ignorance, which really makes me the fool,

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Speaker 4: because if I think about it, it was there all along.

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Speaker 4: But I think I've allowed myself to open my eyes

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Speaker 4: to really see just how immersed in ignorance and misinformation.

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Speaker 1: That we are. And my question is, do you feel.

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Speaker 4: As a rampant homophobic mistreatment from your own people, from

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Speaker 4: people that are not your people? Do you see progress happening?

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Speaker 4: Or am I just naive with rose colored glasses that I.

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Speaker 5: Mean, if I'm being honest, the expansion has been so

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Speaker 5: beautiful to watch, even inside of the pushback.

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Speaker 6: You know, my phrase is the change has.

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Speaker 5: Already happened, which is why the pushback is so severe.

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Speaker 5: You know, I think that what we as humans fall

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Speaker 5: in the trap of is not focusing on learning history,

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Speaker 5: because history shows us exactly what's happening.

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Speaker 6: Right now with this Trump stuff.

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Speaker 5: Right history shows us that this is what it will be.

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Speaker 6: And every time we're unprepared.

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Speaker 5: So until we learn our history and we're prepared for

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Speaker 5: these moments and we're not cut with our pants down,

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Speaker 5: it's gonna be the same. You know, I don't know

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Speaker 5: if you you know, if you read songa hes He

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Speaker 5: Coaches book We were eight years in power.

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Speaker 6: That one.

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Speaker 5: He predicted this, and nobody wanted to listen, and nobody

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Speaker 5: wanted to hear about it, and nobody wanted to talk about.

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Speaker 6: It, not even myself. This came out.

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Speaker 5: That book came out right at the top of the

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Speaker 5: second Obama and he said beware in that book. The

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Speaker 5: general part of it was beware because there are repercussions

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Speaker 5: for this that we're not preparing ourselves for. You know,

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Speaker 5: the press still doesn't even know how to cover.

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Speaker 3: That bitch, Yes, we will worry.

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Speaker 6: Still don't even know how to cover him.

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Speaker 5: Eight years later, and these industries are still selling humanity

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Speaker 5: down the river.

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Speaker 6: For ratings, for ratings.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't know that bitch is a liar man.

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Speaker 6: People were fired at the beginning of his presidency.

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Speaker 5: Journalists on television were fired for calling him a liar.

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Speaker 5: Every time he opens up his mouth. He's a liar

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Speaker 5: every single time. And so for me to stay positive

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Speaker 5: and stay you know, it's like, well, what do we do,

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Speaker 5: What do we do to make sure that we're engaged?

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Speaker 5: What do we do to stay engaged? I don't even

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Speaker 5: know how sometimes how to have the conversation with people

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Speaker 5: who don't vote. I don't know how to have this conversation.

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Speaker 5: You know, it's like it's disingenuous. And it's the way

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Speaker 5: that this even now that it's covered, it's like the

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Speaker 5: press covers this like it's.

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Speaker 1: A game show.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, like it's a you know, it's like you all

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Speaker 5: know that this is not new. Why are you presenting

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Speaker 5: this material like it's not like it's new. None of

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Speaker 5: it is new. Slavery was abolished and Jim Crow happened.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and if certain things happen in November, we will

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Speaker 2: never get that history again.

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Speaker 5: It's fine, we're gonna get We're gonna get there. We're

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Speaker 5: gonna get there. But my question is have we learned

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Speaker 5: anything because we got a black president and we sat.

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Speaker 6: On our assets for eight years and ain't bomb box

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Speaker 6: to fix everything. What are we gonna do this time

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Speaker 6: with this power?

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Speaker 1: I think right now.

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Speaker 4: Black people are in a place where they're so exhausted.

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Speaker 4: There's a thing in the gym called Jacob's Ladder, which

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Speaker 4: I hate the most. You know, five minutes on Jacob's Ladder,

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Speaker 4: you're like out, I can't think you know one, And

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Speaker 4: I feel like that's where we are right now, even

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Speaker 4: if it's to the detriment of our freedom.

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Speaker 6: And what do you think our and what do you

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Speaker 6: think our answers yourself?

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Speaker 1: Exactly?

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Speaker 5: Who were living on the field? And what if I

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Speaker 5: don't give a fuck?

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Speaker 1: Right exactly, I don't give a fuck.

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Speaker 5: Keep calling to stay here if you're so fucking exhausted.

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Speaker 6: Everybody's exhausted.

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Speaker 2: I was exhausted. I was marching against the park tide

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Speaker 2: at six years old. Make make Lukin Day a.

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Speaker 3: Holiday, and ship it gonna continues.

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Speaker 6: Till the day we die. Look at John fucking Lewis

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Speaker 6: from his deathbed. He was working. How selfish that is.

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Speaker 2: But I but I will say, Billy, you work a

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Speaker 2: little harder than most. And I'm wondering, friend, when the

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Speaker 2: rest does come? Because to a mirrest point, I do say,

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Speaker 2: you be in the fight a lot.

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Speaker 3: You be inough.

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Speaker 6: Here's the thing.

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Speaker 5: I have a song called I Can't sing this song again,

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Speaker 5: and it's in and it's in response to a change

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Speaker 5: is going to come.

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Speaker 6: And here's what I think the issue is.

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Speaker 1: Is it an answer to that?

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Speaker 6: Yes, I can't sing this song again.

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Speaker 5: I'm debuting it at Nancy Pelosi's luncheon, and it starts

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Speaker 5: with a little bit of a recording of A Change

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Speaker 5: is Gonna Come, and then it's like and then it

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Speaker 5: goes into this, A change.

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Speaker 6: Is gonna come. And the rhetoric that.

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Speaker 5: We've learned for all of these years has led us

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Speaker 5: to believe that we wait your turn, and we arrive somewhere.

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Speaker 5: We arrived somewhere, and it's over. That is the sentiment

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Speaker 5: of that song. To me, that is the sentiment of

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Speaker 5: the of the civil rights movement. I don't think that

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Speaker 5: it was on purpose, but I know for myself and

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Speaker 5: I talk about Obama, it's like, oh okay, civil rights,

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Speaker 5: Oh okay, gay rights, okay, we win. You know, marriage equality, okay,

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Speaker 5: we win. You know, abortion rights, okay, we win. It's

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Speaker 5: like you don't arrivee and the I say fight. I

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Speaker 5: wish there was another word for it. The expansion, the involvement,

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Speaker 5: the engagement.

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Speaker 6: That's what I'm looking for.

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Speaker 5: The engagement of the people can never wane.

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Speaker 6: So if we know that going in, if we know that.

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Speaker 5: It's a fight until we die, then we approach it differently.

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Speaker 6: Then we go, okay, I need to take a.

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Speaker 5: Break right now, Okay, self, care for myself and I

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Speaker 5: and I'll come back and so that we can, you know,

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Speaker 5: like like staggered breathing when you sang in the choir

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Speaker 5: and you had to hold a note for a really

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Speaker 5: long time, and some people take a break and some people,

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Speaker 5: you know, it's like da, you know. And I think

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Speaker 5: our messaging, the messaging for years at least for me,

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Speaker 5: is what I'm finding and as I dissect it and

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Speaker 5: try to figure out how like, oh, we think we arrived,

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Speaker 5: so it never arrives.

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Speaker 1: I'm guilty of that.

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Speaker 4: You remember, like November of two thousand and eight, like

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Speaker 4: we were all singing our version of can you see

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Speaker 4: a brand New Day?

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Speaker 1: Or whatever?

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Speaker 6: And that's okay.

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Speaker 4: For a week, I actually felt like I arrived in

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Speaker 4: this utopian What we are basically saying is like we

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Speaker 4: would like to experience not what whiteness feels like, but

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Speaker 4: just the feeling of that level of freedom.

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Speaker 6: Freedom, faiety, safety.

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Speaker 4: And then by year two, once the unarmed shooting period started,

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Speaker 4: and then I was like, oh, fuck, this is this

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Speaker 4: is going back to the seventies and now we're in

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Speaker 4: the forties, the eighteen forties.

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Speaker 5: Because our founding fathers, who everybody likes to hold up

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Speaker 5: on a pedestal so much. She she she's fucking racist

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Speaker 5: slave owners who built this country.

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Speaker 3: On that yes.

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Speaker 5: Period, the caveats, you know, the thing that I've learned

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Speaker 5: recently and just looking at how it all goes, it's like, so, wait,

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Speaker 5: you mean to tell me that there's no oversight for stotus.

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Speaker 6: That's our purpose, that's on purpose.

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Speaker 5: If you can find the easter eggs in these documents,

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Speaker 5: white men, you will be able to be in power forever,

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Speaker 5: minority or not. What do you mean there are no

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Speaker 5: term limits? What do you mean there are no termlinits?

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Speaker 5: That means that the same old white people can stay

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Speaker 5: in offense?

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Speaker 6: It's like, what do you mean?

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Speaker 5: The peaceful transition of power is not a fucking law?

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Speaker 6: What are you talking about?

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Speaker 5: It's just the unfolding and the unpealing of the It's like,

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Speaker 5: so what is it?

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Speaker 6: For real?

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Speaker 5: And I think that's where we are and what I'm

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Speaker 5: happy about and what I'm pleased about, you know, because

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Speaker 5: of course when they go low, we go high, of course,

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Speaker 5: and because I'm over there again, we have to figure

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Speaker 5: out what going high looks like in this new world

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Speaker 5: or that's what we have to do.

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Speaker 6: And we have finally found it. And her name is

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Speaker 6: fucking Kamala. That's her name.

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Speaker 4: I want.

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Speaker 5: How to be in the games that we're in, not

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Speaker 5: the game that we wish it would be, not the

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Speaker 5: game that it should be, but the game that we're in.

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Speaker 5: We have to be in this and she is the

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Speaker 5: person for the moment, for this moment. She has risen

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Speaker 5: to the occasion.

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Speaker 2: She knows how to clop that and not just because

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Speaker 2: what she looks like, because of what she's done.

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Speaker 3: Yes, she does, Yes.

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Speaker 5: Has run rampant all over the world for eight fucking

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Speaker 5: years because everybody so oh and bipartisan, and that's not

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Speaker 5: how they're playing.

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Speaker 6: That's not what they're playing. That's not the game.

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Speaker 5: We haven't been in the game for eight years.

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Speaker 2: So, Billy, how does it feel now that your voice

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Speaker 2: matters to this whole other world in that way? You

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Speaker 2: said you're going to be at the DNC, You've been

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Speaker 2: at the White House multiple times? You know what does

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Speaker 2: it feel like to be this activist of sorts? Activists

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Speaker 2: no sorts?

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Speaker 3: My bad, I.

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Speaker 5: Don't know anything else. Once again, I'm a black saget

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Speaker 5: in America.

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Speaker 6: I have to fight. I don't have a choice. And

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Speaker 6: I have to fight against my own people half the time, half.

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Speaker 5: Against my own people all the time. I don't know

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Speaker 5: if you saw all that bullshit on June.

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Speaker 3: Teenths what what happened?

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Speaker 5: So I was at the White House on June teenth

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Speaker 5: in the morning, right, and you know, on the dais

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Speaker 5: talking about solutions at the White House, right, inviting, right,

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Speaker 5: go to the Juneteenth concert.

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Speaker 6: I show up. I'm on the front row.

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Speaker 5: It's me, the second gentleman, the vice president, the president,

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Speaker 5: front row.

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Speaker 6: M The next day they start dragging Joe.

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Speaker 5: He's losing his mind because he was There was a

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Speaker 5: picture caught of him like, oh yeah.

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Speaker 6: He was listening to Patti LaBelle.

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Speaker 5: He was watching Patty Labelle's sing a song and she

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Speaker 5: hid a note and held it like she was twenty

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Speaker 5: years old. And the whole audience was like, right, that's

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Speaker 5: the fucking picture you saw. That's how they've been dragging him.

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Speaker 5: There's nothing wrong.

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Speaker 1: With him, have them knowing said that?

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Speaker 5: I remember, Oh, and yes, but he's not, you know,

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Speaker 5: just like when he was trailing off.

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Speaker 6: Remember when he was trailing.

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Speaker 1: Off and they were like right, and then.

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Speaker 6: Camera and he's talking to twenty mapel over there, right,

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Speaker 6: Now the press has done this to the world for

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Speaker 6: their ratings.

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Speaker 5: So the next photo that I see coming up on

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Speaker 5: my feet is me greeting the president by kissing his

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Speaker 5: hand across the second gentleman across the Now they run

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Speaker 5: that photo mm hmm with me next to a drawing

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Speaker 5: of a slave kissing Abraham Lincoln's boom.

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Speaker 6: That's oh title. Oh I guess we're in a Jordan

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Speaker 6: Peele movie. Now.

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Speaker 3: Now when you say they, you're saying the black prints.

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Speaker 6: You're saying, yes, somebody black did it, Okay.

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Speaker 3: But you know we're not a monoligue movie.

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Speaker 6: No I know, no, no, no, no, that's what I'm saying.

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Speaker 6: Some black people, not everybody. But I have to fight

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Speaker 6: that side a lot.

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Speaker 5: And what I said, and I looked at it, and

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Speaker 5: you know, my motto is, I do not now, nor

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Speaker 5: will I ever adjudicate my life for humanity and sound

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Speaker 5: bites on social media.

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Speaker 6: I will never do it. There is no response to

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Speaker 6: shit like that for me.

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Speaker 5: However, as I was dissecting it, I'm like, so, what

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Speaker 5: are you saying? What are y'all trying to say?

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Speaker 6: Because at the.

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Speaker 5: Time that this photo was that this drawing was drawn,

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Speaker 5: the president at that time freed the slaves. We didn't

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Speaker 5: have the three hundred years later. In that moment, he

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Speaker 5: was thinking the man who freed him, oh, in that drunk,

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Speaker 5: just as I was thinking, the man who we dragged

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Speaker 5: out of retirement to save democracy. I will kiss that

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Speaker 5: white man's hand until I go to the goddamn grave.

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Speaker 6: What are you saying? What are y'all saying?

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Speaker 3: Who cares? I actually lost in the room.

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Speaker 5: Talking about solutions at the White House, and y'all over

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Speaker 5: here clowning on the internet.

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Speaker 6: That's the fucking.

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Speaker 3: Problem, man, that's just static though it is.

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Speaker 5: But what but but what's really happening which no one

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Speaker 5: will talk about but me.

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Speaker 6: Is I was also in a multi colored caf taine

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Speaker 6: address on the front row.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I'm a black, embarrassing faggot, That's who I am.

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Speaker 6: So you're not. So it's actually not about that at all.

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Speaker 3: No, No, you're about.

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Speaker 5: I was never supposed to be elevated to the highest

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Speaker 5: levels like that, Right, I'm supposed to stay silent in

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Speaker 5: a closet somewhere.

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Speaker 2: But it's certain things that we really know in our community, right,

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Speaker 2: and others don't.

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Speaker 3: And so my whole life.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's my whole life. People with my family at

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Speaker 5: the time, not anymore, but like you know, my community,

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Speaker 5: they would rather be a serial killer than a fact

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Speaker 5: that's more acceptable.

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Speaker 1: How were you able to reach your family in terms

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Speaker 1: of I left, Oh.

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Speaker 5: I left and they came back the mischief, I left.

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Speaker 4: And they come back because you made it or did

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Speaker 4: they come back because like some of.

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Speaker 5: Them, some of them was before that. A lot of

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Speaker 5: them were before that. My family was before that. You know,

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Speaker 5: the church community that I grew up with, it.

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Speaker 6: Was post same.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, you're so transparent, you know, but it's you know,

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Speaker 5: it's also interesting to talking about a certain group of

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Speaker 5: black people.

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Speaker 6: So during the George Floyd and.

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Speaker 5: All of that stuff, you know, I got on line

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Speaker 5: because here we were marching m and then I turned

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Speaker 5: on my social media and a bunch of black people

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Speaker 5: are beating up a trans girls in the seven eleven.

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Speaker 5: You want to know why we don't have rights? This

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Speaker 5: is why we don't have our rights. Until we do

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Speaker 5: right by everybody, we will have nothing. Nobody's free till

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Speaker 5: we're all free.

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Speaker 6: Fuck y'all. You want to know why this is?

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Speaker 2: Why do you think that that's something that should be

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Speaker 2: handled within our community or do you think that.

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Speaker 3: I do too?

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Speaker 5: And I'm the one who's saying that, and they dragged

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Speaker 5: me to hell for it. I don't give a fuck.

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Speaker 5: It's the truth. Mind your own damn business if you

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Speaker 5: don't like it.

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Speaker 3: You never had no fear of telling your truth?

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Speaker 2: Have you always been this out loud? Which which the

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Speaker 2: way you feel? It's my mother even I'm talking about TV,

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Speaker 2: because you know when you go to Hollywood, and I mean,

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Speaker 2: I tease me about it, but.

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Speaker 5: My mother was like that, there are consequences, Yes, there

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Speaker 5: are consequences.

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Speaker 6: I suffer consequences. You know. It's like they've let the

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Speaker 6: queens in. They've let us in a little bit.

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Speaker 1: M hmm.

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Speaker 5: But the ones who are getting Marvel movies and shit

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Speaker 5: don't talk.

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Speaker 2: You're in Ryan Murphy world. So even that in itself

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Speaker 2: is beautiful. But he's an out louder certain in his

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Speaker 2: own way.

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Speaker 6: So he's also a white man.

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Speaker 2: I love him, Billy, And you know that straight people,

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Speaker 2: do you not understand the happenings and the goings ons

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Speaker 2: and the queer world with race in that way? Like

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Speaker 2: you even saying that out loud people are like.

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Speaker 3: They they're good. He gave you gay is good.

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Speaker 6: You know, it's different.

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Speaker 3: It's different.

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Speaker 6: It's different.

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Speaker 5: And I and you know, stand for something or you'll

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Speaker 5: fall for anything.

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Speaker 3: M h.

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Speaker 5: I will go to my grades standing for the things

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Speaker 5: that I believe in, even if that means whatever that

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Speaker 5: means for my career, whatever it means, because it's more

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Speaker 5: important for me to do that.

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Speaker 6: I'm a human being first, and I.

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Speaker 5: Engage in the world as a human being, and you

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Speaker 5: will respect me as a human being or get the fuck.

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Speaker 6: Out of my way, yo.

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Speaker 2: Talk Can you talk about real quick? When you were

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Speaker 2: asked to be in the Little Richard Project? I am

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Speaker 2: everything in the first what you felt and what you

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Speaker 2: saw when you saw, what you felt when you saw

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Speaker 2: the finished product. Because as you're speaking, I'm thinking of

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Speaker 2: him and I'm just it's not a lot of people

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Speaker 2: who can live out loud and chose to live out

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Speaker 2: loud and then came back and it's a choice.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, And like I said, there are consequences that come

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Speaker 6: along with it, y'all. There are you know there are.

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Speaker 6: It's okay, okay, I'm not changing. I've never changed.

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Speaker 2: Can we still get our James Waltwin? Can we say,

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Speaker 2: of course, okay, thank you, Okay.

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Speaker 6: Of course, you know, but we got to get a greenlet. Okay.

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Speaker 6: You know, there's a whole world right now.

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Speaker 5: It's like all of the fallout from the strike.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, we're forty four, forty six.

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Speaker 5: Percent back, forty six maybe forty six percent back, you know.

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Speaker 6: And I breathed rarefied there. Don't think I don't know that.

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Speaker 5: You know, film and television has dried up a bit

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Speaker 5: for me in this moment, a bit, not completely, but

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Speaker 5: a bit.

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Speaker 6: I get to go and be in a broadma show.

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Speaker 6: Who gets to do that?

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Speaker 5: Y'all want to clown and call it me corny, But

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Speaker 5: I get to still work in the business that I

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Speaker 5: love because of this multi hyphenated human being that I

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Speaker 5: am so like.

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Speaker 6: I don't know. I feel for.

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Speaker 5: The first time in a long time that I can

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Speaker 5: take a breath.

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Speaker 3: Reez, you deserve it.

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Speaker 4: And are you scared to take a breath because I

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Speaker 4: know that you feel you have to be on guard?

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Speaker 4: Twenty four seven? Yeah, what is taking a breath? I

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Speaker 4: never believed in vacations until.

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Speaker 3: Vacation last year. Fifty you here, fifty.

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Speaker 1: I took a vacation in twenty fifteen. I did, No,

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Speaker 1: I did.

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Speaker 3: It wasn't a wedding, you weren't, Okay.

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Speaker 6: I never took a vacation either, vacation naps, Yes, I

403
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Speaker 6: never took naps. Shout out.

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Speaker 5: If I get to a place where it's too much,

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Speaker 5: I'll lay right in my bed for two hours, like.

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Speaker 6: I got to check out. You know.

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Speaker 5: That's self care for me. I do my morning pages

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Speaker 5: pretty much every.

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Speaker 1: Morning, affirmations or well you write.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it comes from a book called the Artist's Way.

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Speaker 7: I know, well, artists Way Way, and and I did

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Speaker 7: it thirty years ago, and I've been doing it every

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Speaker 7: ten years to just sort of research on myself.

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Speaker 5: And I do those artists pages and that's my that's

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Speaker 5: my daily meditation because they're supposed to be blurts essentially,

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Speaker 5: you're just supposed to write.

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Speaker 6: A long hand.

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Speaker 5: But I've been doing it so long that I type

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Speaker 5: them now. But it's like got to meditate for me

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Speaker 5: in the morning. And I always feel better when I

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Speaker 5: when I do that. Since Mom passed, I am trying

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Speaker 5: my hand at Buddhism. Okay, I haven't been able to

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Speaker 5: find a consistency in it yet, but my heart is there.

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Speaker 6: And so I'm working towards it.

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Speaker 5: I'm also meditating, you know, when I feel overwhelmed, I'll

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Speaker 5: just sit down and breathe and medicine and it's it's useful.

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Speaker 6: It's helpful.

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Speaker 1: Was that really poortant?

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Speaker 6: All right?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: No, you know, because I can't sanity's importance. I can't

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Speaker 5: be of use if I'm insane. Yeah, And I was

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Speaker 5: put on this planet to be of use. I want

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Speaker 5: to continue to be of use. And like you said,

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Speaker 5: the activist part I am. You know, I came out

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Speaker 5: in nineteen eighty five. We went straight to the front

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Speaker 5: lines to fight for our lives during the age crisis.

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Speaker 6: I don't know anything else. I don't know anything else.

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Speaker 3: Can you pause here and it?

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Speaker 6: Can?

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Speaker 2: I just tell you I appreciate your truth in that,

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Speaker 2: and I just want to tell you also, I was

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Speaker 2: very excited to talk to you for all the reasons because,

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Speaker 2: like I said, all the things I've watched you, I've

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00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 2: listened and everything. But most importantly, I was excited to

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00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,680
Speaker 2: talk to you because you live in your truth about

447
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 2: status and somebody very important to me has been living

448
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:25,439
Speaker 2: with this for twenty five thirty years, successfully beautifully living

449
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,480
Speaker 2: life out loud, and I can't wait for her to

450
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:31,439
Speaker 2: tell the world. But you, my friend, I was just

451
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,439
Speaker 2: in marvel of you living your truth and saying that

452
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 2: out loud, and I can't wait, like I can't wait

453
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,239
Speaker 2: for her to do the same thing. But I just

454
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:41,120
Speaker 2: I want to thank you for that, because Billy, Billy.

455
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:41,440
Speaker 6: You're welcome.

456
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,200
Speaker 5: The thing about this business and the thing that I'm

457
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 5: also grateful for that it took so long, right, Why

458
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:49,440
Speaker 5: is it take it so long?

459
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 6: It took so long because I had to be ready.

460
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 5: It took so long because I had to live a

461
00:25:55,600 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 5: life where I could shoulder all of this stuff that

462
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:05,679
Speaker 5: I need to shoulder. I know what I represent, I

463
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 5: know why I'm here. I can't do what I do

464
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 5: unless I know it. You know, I was watching Oprah

465
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 5: at one point a long time ago. I don't know

466
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,680
Speaker 5: if y'all remember, but like one year after about ten

467
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 5: or twelve years or something, maybe fifteen, she came on

468
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 5: and she said, I'm not doing any of that shop

469
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 5: talk anymore.

470
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 3: She didn't, and.

471
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:32,199
Speaker 5: Something dropped and she said, live your best life, and

472
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:37,440
Speaker 5: she turned into that person. You have to know what

473
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,879
Speaker 5: the purpose is so that you can sit in the

474
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:40,679
Speaker 5: fullness of it.

475
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 6: I know what my power is, I know what my

476
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,160
Speaker 6: purpose is, and.

477
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:48,679
Speaker 5: I'm just grateful now that people are finally understanding it

478
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:53,159
Speaker 5: and seeing it. I had to come out as HIV

479
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 5: positive to the world because I had to take the

480
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 5: power away from the gotcha, gotcha press.

481
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 6: Nobody had anything on me because I said it first.

482
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 6: Now what.

483
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 2: Right, This is a conversation I've been waiting for. Yes, yes, yes,

484
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 2: I said it first.

485
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 3: Yes.

486
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 6: So there's no there's full transparency with me.

487
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:23,320
Speaker 5: And my life on purpose because people need to see

488
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 5: all of it, the successes, the disappointments, the failures, the flaws,

489
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 5: all of it. Jesus was not perfect. You know, we

490
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 5: make dities out of people. We forget these people were human.

491
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:46,440
Speaker 5: Martin Luther King Jr. Was human. He cheated on his wife.

492
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,680
Speaker 6: Like a lot of men do. He is not a dity.

493
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 6: He was a human being.

494
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:54,879
Speaker 5: That's what makes it better, because we're all human, and

495
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 5: so when you can relate to somebody's humanity, then you

496
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 5: can see, Oh, it's not over because I made it.

497
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 5: It's not over because this didn't work out. I keep going,

498
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 5: that person kept going, Yeah, you know, that's why I

499
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 5: throw my hands up at the house. Yeah, I throw

500
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 5: my hands up with my friends. I called my sister

501
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 5: screaming and cried. You know, I don't throw my hands

502
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 5: up for real, right, you know, Like that's the self

503
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 5: care part too. The care part is me being able

504
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 5: to call my sister and throw a fucking temper potential.

505
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, are you know, in the sense of the community,

506
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:31,440
Speaker 2: do you have a lot of kids?

507
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 4: I feel like, well, I'm just gonna ask, like, are

508
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:42,479
Speaker 4: you fighting this battle isolated or do you have a

509
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 4: community of people that you have in your corner or is.

510
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 6: It there is a community that I'm a part of.

511
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 5: And I'm so grateful before I talk about Broadway Cares,

512
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 5: Equity Fights AIDS, you know, they they they were birthed

513
00:28:57,120 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 5: out of the age crisis, and when I moved to

514
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 5: New York City in nineteen ninety, they were just beginning

515
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 5: and they taught an entire generation of us, a theater

516
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 5: artist in particular, how to activate, you know. And so

517
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 5: I've been a part of that community since I got here,

518
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 5: and it's a large, far.

519
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 6: Reaching activist community.

520
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 5: So that's where I started, and I've picked up a

521
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 5: lot of different people along the way.

522
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 6: I have to be cognizant to not isolate.

523
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 4: Okay, do you tend to shut down and shut in

524
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 4: and I'm.

525
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 6: Going through something.

526
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 5: If I'm having a you know, a problem or an

527
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 5: issue or you know, I will isolate, you know, like

528
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 5: even with my mom passing in February.

529
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 6: You know, it's like my friends.

530
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 3: Are finally like, girl, come outside.

531
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 5: Why haven't you come outside? Why haven't you called?

532
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 6: You know, they call and chucking me. They're like, we

533
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 6: know you're isolating.

534
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 5: Come out, come out, come out, you know, because I

535
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,000
Speaker 5: get in a place where I feel like I don't

536
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 5: want to be a burden. And so much of my

537
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 5: trauma and what I deal with in my life has

538
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 5: existed for so long and I continue to work through

539
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 5: it and I continue to become a better person. But

540
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 5: I feel like sometimes the people who've been in my

541
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 5: life for thirty years plus, I'm.

542
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 6: Like, y'all are tired of it. Yeah, I feel like

543
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 6: y'all are tired of it. You know, I would never

544
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 6: be tired of it.

545
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 5: So I don't understand why I put that on other people,

546
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 5: but like they have to be tired of this now.

547
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 6: You know.

548
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 5: So I have to work on that, you know, I

549
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 5: have to work on like making sure that I reach

550
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 5: out when I don't feel good and ask for help

551
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 5: when I don't feel great.

552
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 6: I have to do that on my own.

553
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 2: You have to let others pour into you, because you

554
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 2: are always pouring into others.

555
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 5: During COVID, my trauma therapist, you know, because I suffered,

556
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 5: you know, sexual abuse at the hands of my stepfather

557
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 5: from the time I was seven to the time I

558
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 5: was twelve. It's in the book I talked about, you know,

559
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 5: like there's a lot of trauma. Lot, there's a lot,

560
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 5: a lot of trauma. And you know, I say, the

561
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 5: world stopped so that I could begin a real journey

562
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 5: towards healing my trauma. And the first thing that my

563
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 5: trauma therapist and I and I have to say, you know,

564
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 5: the mental health profession and what and the strides and

565
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 5: what is available for us to deal with our mental

566
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 5: health blows my mind.

567
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 6: It blows my mind.

568
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 5: And she said, your biggest problem is that you have

569
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 5: no self compassion.

570
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 3: But everybody else that's a lot of us.

571
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 6: Yes, that's the truth. That's the first three months, Oh

572
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,400
Speaker 6: God of work.

573
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 5: I did four hours a week for about two years.

574
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 5: It went down to two hours at about a year

575
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 5: and three months. But the first thing she said was

576
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 5: you have no self compassion and we have to work,

577
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 5: I mean exercises.

578
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,719
Speaker 6: I had to listen to people talk about self compassion.

579
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 5: In by ear and I have to go back to

580
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 5: it even now today I have to remind myself, Oh,

581
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 5: that's my non self compassion person talking.

582
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 4: So this is what I want to know, because this

583
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 4: is the question I asked myself. You know in twenty

584
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 4: twenty one when Biden came into office and with the

585
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 4: quick fast that you know, you saw how vigilant and

586
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:54,960
Speaker 4: fast the government was to respond to the global health

587
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 4: crisis in a second.

588
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 1: And when the numbers went down.

589
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 4: I was thinking to myself, I'm like, wow, Like, why

590
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 4: didn't this happened in the eighties when HIV was was

591
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 4: was killed.

592
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: Of course, I know what the answer is. I want

593
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 1: to ask you.

594
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 5: And it didn't happen with the last administration. Reagan and

595
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 5: Trump are the same person.

596
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 1: I get it.

597
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 5: Reagan had a better suit and knew not to say

598
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 5: the quiet part out loud. Sorry, sorry, Nicole Wallace. And

599
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 5: when I see you, I'm gonna talk to you about that.

600
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:34,479
Speaker 6: Sorry, And she will take me your worshiping of Reagan. Sorry,

601
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 6: David Jolly, sorry, yes, nobody, but y'all he wasn't good

602
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 6: for nobody, But y'all, my people.

603
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 4: Where are we now in terms of our relationship with

604
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 4: HIV with the fight against the virus spreading?

605
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 1: Like in terms of.

606
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 6: HIV is manageable?

607
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 5: The medication I take makes my T cells about one

608
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 5: hundred to two hundred points higher than any of you.

609
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 3: You're non detective, undetectable.

610
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:12,720
Speaker 5: Undetectable, but like, my T cell count is so high,

611
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 5: I'm like the bionic man.

612
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 3: Oh that's the shit. They ain't got a commercial for it.

613
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 3: In Billy. That's something I ain't got a commercial.

614
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 6: I've been trying to get a commercial for these.

615
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 2: Those HIV mens usually have crazy side effects, like so

616
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 2: now you got to be on a high cholesterol medicine

617
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 2: or diabetes or yes, and you know.

618
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,760
Speaker 6: I literally just went on cholesterol.

619
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:37,720
Speaker 5: Medication to low dose because it's now recommended for people

620
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 5: that it's not beat my cholesterol's time. But you know

621
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 5: when you do, when you have these preventative measures, you

622
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:49,120
Speaker 5: live longer. That's why we're always fighting for It's not

623
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 5: about once you're sick, it's about being able to understand

624
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 5: before you get sick.

625
00:34:54,680 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 4: And how accessible is it as far as.

626
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 3: To us, what's that? Who's us?

627
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 5: It's accessible to Americans, It's accessible to people who have

628
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 5: medical insurance. It's accessible to people who live in cities

629
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:16,440
Speaker 5: who have programs like a DAT Because when I was diagnosed,

630
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 5: I didn't have a job, I didn't have medical insurance,

631
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:23,840
Speaker 5: I didn't have anything. New York City had had adapt

632
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 5: They paid for my medications. The actors fun broughtway cares,

633
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 5: they stepped in, they made sure I was taking care of.

634
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 6: So, you know, I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm

635
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 6: one of the blessed ones.

636
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 3: You know.

637
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 6: I know there are communities that do not have this access.

638
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh oh, well that too.

639
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 6: There are communities that don't have this access.

640
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 5: I exist in communities that do, and I always try

641
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,800
Speaker 5: to make sure that I'm contributing and speaking.

642
00:35:54,960 --> 00:36:01,799
Speaker 6: And I'm diabetic because my family, yeah you know. And

643
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 6: the gift of that is I'm not the doctor every

644
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 6: three months.

645
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 5: I'm a black, fifty five year old man who goes

646
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 5: to the doctor every three months. Oh that is a blessing.

647
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 5: That was the gift because if I didn't have these issues,

648
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 5: I would probably be less healthy than I am right now,

649
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 5: because I would never go to the doctor if I

650
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 5: did not.

651
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 3: Black man, what is that? But y'all I don't get it.

652
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 3: But that's okay.

653
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 8: It's a certain thing, yo.

654
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 6: I'll be.

655
00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 1: People that still believe in doctors.

656
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 5: I got this two weeks ago to monitor my sugar.

657
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 5: I got this two weeks ago to monitor my sugar.

658
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 5: It took me two weeks. I just put it on today.

659
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,279
Speaker 5: It took me two weeks to just.

660
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:55,240
Speaker 1: Get Yeah, like until I came to tonight show Awesome

661
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: look for real. Zara was shocked. She's like, when's the

662
00:36:59,000 --> 00:36:59,959
Speaker 1: last time he'd been to the dinner?

663
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:03,799
Speaker 4: And I was like, dog nineteen seventy nine, like when

664
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:04,839
Speaker 4: I was eight.

665
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:07,839
Speaker 2: Well, dental is the hardest insurance too, So shout out

666
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 2: to the elders.

667
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 6: Ain't no assurance? Ain't you just go pay for it?

668
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 6: I didn't even know.

669
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 5: My assistant was like, you know, you could pay for

670
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 5: some of this with your assurance. I said, YoY, I

671
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:21,280
Speaker 5: put it through because the last time I had an assurance,

672
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:24,800
Speaker 5: they just paid for cleanics and that was it.

673
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 3: Right right right, Oh, I'm going through it right now.

674
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 2: I don't have a whole two bus Billy, do you

675
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 2: wish for us to talk about hiva. A's like we

676
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,759
Speaker 2: kind of do diabetes and how you know, perrymenopause is.

677
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 3: Kind of thing.

678
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 2: I feel like people still feel an uncomfortability, especially Yeah, yeah.

679
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:46,320
Speaker 5: Which is why I came out on the Hollywood Reporter

680
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 5: to talk about it. Okay, and there's probably not a

681
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 5: day goes by that somebody stops me and says, sake,

682
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 5: thank you for saying it, thank you for stamping for us,

683
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:01,800
Speaker 5: thank you for that, and.

684
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 2: Thank you and also thank you because, like I said,

685
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 2: I'm a stand thank you for doing polls.

686
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 3: And reliving that shit all over again.

687
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 2: I was like, Billy is the oldest person probably on

688
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 2: this cast and.

689
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,800
Speaker 3: He's reliving the eighties all over again. That's got to

690
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 3: be traumatizing as fuck.

691
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 6: Thank you for understanding that.

692
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 5: And I didn't get it until COVID and my now

693
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:26,879
Speaker 5: ex husband called me a.

694
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:35,440
Speaker 6: What is that not a character actor? A method called

695
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 6: me a method.

696
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 5: Actor, and I was like, I'm a method actor. He's like,

697
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 5: you're a little bit of a method actor. And I

698
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 5: didn't really receive it until the COVID break.

699
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 6: We were in the middle of.

700
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 5: Filming episode one of season three, and then we were

701
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:56,359
Speaker 5: shut down and we went home for nine months, and

702
00:38:56,440 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 5: during the trauma therapy, I realized, oh shit.

703
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 3: Yes, like, what are you doing? What are you doing?

704
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 5: I was so excited that somebody was taking me seriously

705
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:12,280
Speaker 5: as an actor.

706
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I get it that.

707
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 5: I didn't realize that literally every day I went into work,

708
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 5: I was re traumatizing every day.

709
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 1: How did you process it? Then?

710
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,279
Speaker 5: I wasn't processing in the moment, that's the issue. I

711
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,720
Speaker 5: was just happy to be working. But I was carrying

712
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 5: it with me, and I was bringing it home and

713
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 5: not really knowing that I was bringing home right, and

714
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 5: not really understanding why there was a depress. There was

715
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,799
Speaker 5: a low grade depression that I couldn't shake, and all

716
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 5: of that stuff. And so then when I went back,

717
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 5: I said, you get three takes. Set these cameras up,

718
00:39:55,840 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 5: capture this performance. Man, I'm gonna give you everything, but

719
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,720
Speaker 5: I only have three of them in me. I can't

720
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 5: keep going and going and going, you know, Like the

721
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:10,239
Speaker 5: episode season two, I was sick in the bed in

722
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 5: a hospital bed for like two episodes, and I forgot

723
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:17,399
Speaker 5: that I've never left the band.

724
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:17,839
Speaker 6: All day.

725
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 5: I would make him bring lunch to me, bring me

726
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 5: the food, Bring me the food.

727
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 6: I need to stay in it. And I'm like, that's

728
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 6: the method actor.

729
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 3: No, a mirror he was. It was like an altar.

730
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 4: Okay, So I know an actor who almost ruined his

731
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:49,440
Speaker 4: relationship because he did a method role and didn't go

732
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:53,359
Speaker 4: through the ritual process of getting rid of it. There's

733
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 4: a very specific process this actor goes through to get

734
00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 4: rid of a character.

735
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 1: But because another.

736
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 4: Project was like right around the corner, this actor didn't

737
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:10,319
Speaker 4: take the necessary eight weeks to do the thing that

738
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:12,920
Speaker 4: has to be done to get rid of the character

739
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 4: and almost ruined his marriage and his family and everything.

740
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:21,319
Speaker 4: When you were finally finished with post, was there a

741
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 4: ritual that you had to do in order to get

742
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 4: rid of the character?

743
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 1: Or like, what, how do you? How did you let

744
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:29,319
Speaker 1: it go? How did you?

745
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 6: I don't know that it's a ritual. It wasn't. It's

746
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:32,280
Speaker 6: not a ritual.

747
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 2: For me.

748
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,279
Speaker 6: You just let it go. I just let it go.

749
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 6: I didn't do anything ritualistic to let it go. It

750
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 6: was just over.

751
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 5: So if you're not there doing it every day, it's

752
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 5: over and to me, for me, and so it slowly

753
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,720
Speaker 5: dissipates and it's slowly gone.

754
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 6: You know, I will say I didn't watch it.

755
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 5: I mean I watched the first run when it happened,

756
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 5: but I didn't return to it till like six months ago,

757
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 5: and I had to go watch it for that, I

758
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 5: am enough space that I needed to get into.

759
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:11,399
Speaker 4: So what was the process like reliving watching it through

760
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:14,240
Speaker 4: the new filtered Well, I had.

761
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:20,360
Speaker 5: Enough distance from it to understand my own power. I

762
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 5: had enough distance from it to watch it and be

763
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 5: able to you know, and be able to go, oh no.

764
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 5: I deserve that because I went through a space where

765
00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 5: I had like, oh, I was a diversity winner. I

766
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:40,839
Speaker 5: won the Emmy as a diversity winner because that's when

767
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 5: Hollywood was in woke mode.

768
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 3: Right, I could see you.

769
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,720
Speaker 6: So I went through a time.

770
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 1: Because so you didn't feel it was legit. You felt

771
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 1: it was this well.

772
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 6: Pray tell didn't exist until I walked in the ground.

773
00:42:56,920 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 5: Right, So see the one they had already written the

774
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,759
Speaker 5: first four episodes, if you go back to season one,

775
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 5: they had to fold me into it slowly, and so

776
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:12,320
Speaker 5: the first three episodes, I'm more.

777
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:15,680
Speaker 6: Of just the MC. I have a couple of scenes

778
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:17,560
Speaker 6: outside of it, but I'm just MC.

779
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 5: It's episode four when I get the HIV diagnosis and

780
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:26,360
Speaker 5: it's guns a blazing, right and so. But but what

781
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 5: was weird for me was that season two and season

782
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 5: three I was the leaved with Blanca and I lost

783
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 5: the Emmy to two white boys again, you know. And

784
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 5: it was like, but that's what I deserved, Yeah, because.

785
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 3: You gotta a season I didn't.

786
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:44,440
Speaker 6: I didn't feel like.

787
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 5: I had deserved it for season one because I wasn't

788
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:52,399
Speaker 5: as much as I was in season two and season three.

789
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 5: So my brain started to go there. And so then

790
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 5: my manager and that's the self compassion thing, and so

791
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 5: my manager was like, Billan, no, you won the Emmy

792
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 5: for season one and two at the same time, because

793
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 5: what happened was you came on in the summer for

794
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:19,280
Speaker 5: season one, you were nominated the following summer, while season.

795
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 6: Two was Aaron got it.

796
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 9: So they saw season one, but they were voting on

797
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 9: your performance of season one ant and I'm like, oh, okay,

798
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,920
Speaker 9: but I had to go back to watch it.

799
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:37,000
Speaker 6: To go oh no, I was fierce.

800
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:41,719
Speaker 5: And in season one one two I was slaying in

801
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 5: season one as well.

802
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 6: I laid that shit right on down.

803
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,480
Speaker 5: I deserved it, but like I had to go back,

804
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,239
Speaker 5: like I had to talk to myself in the.

805
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 6: Mirror and be like, you are enough, you deserved it.

806
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 5: And then, you know, the great part about the thing

807
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:02,239
Speaker 5: I love about film TV that doesn't exist in theater

808
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:03,360
Speaker 5: is you write about it.

809
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 3: The proof is.

810
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 2: Right there, you know. And the impact the impact of

811
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:13,279
Speaker 2: TV versus the theater. Because that that birket a whole

812
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 2: nother show on HBO.

813
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:17,840
Speaker 4: Right, were you allowed to have input for your character

814
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 4: development in terms of telling them? So you talked to

815
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:23,840
Speaker 4: the writers and told me your life story.

816
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:25,920
Speaker 6: And I didn't have to talk to the writers, they

817
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 6: already knew it. But yeah, I spoke to the writers.

818
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 6: But I did get a call. I had done something.

819
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:35,400
Speaker 5: I can't remember what I did, but I had talked

820
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 5: about my abuse, my sexual abuse, and Ryan knew about

821
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:46,160
Speaker 5: my family stuff and my church stuff. And he called

822
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:49,480
Speaker 5: me one day and he's like, would you be okay

823
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:50,680
Speaker 5: with us using.

824
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,560
Speaker 3: You know, your Mike and their mom's story.

825
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like, are you okay us? Would you be

826
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 6: okay with us using that? I'm like, isn't I the point?

827
00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's go, let's pay but cut the check.

828
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,320
Speaker 5: Yes, of course. So season three, when I go home

829
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,200
Speaker 5: and tell my family that I have HIV.

830
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:14,759
Speaker 6: That's all. You know. There's a lot of it that's

831
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:15,439
Speaker 6: like real.

832
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 5: You know, the step for the father that molested me

833
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 5: that comes back like Angels in America in season two,

834
00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 5: and like that was from my life. It's such a gift.

835
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 5: It really is a gift. You know, who gets to

836
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 5: do that.

837
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 3: Like you are.

838
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 5: It took me thirty years, and look at what it was,

839
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 5: Look at what it is when it comes around, like

840
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:40,280
Speaker 5: it's amazing.

841
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:42,319
Speaker 3: It makes that whole five seven year thing makes so

842
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:43,359
Speaker 3: much sense.

843
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:47,560
Speaker 6: You know. And my voice is different now.

844
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 5: You know, I want you to go and listen to

845
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:55,279
Speaker 5: me pre as it refluctx and listen to me now.

846
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:59,840
Speaker 5: And what I find interesting is that people respond to

847
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:04,240
Speaker 5: my voice differently now, like they actually.

848
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:05,960
Speaker 6: Like my imperfections.

849
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:07,239
Speaker 3: I was.

850
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:09,480
Speaker 1: Is awesome.

851
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:15,839
Speaker 5: My voice was perfect, not a bad note, center of

852
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:21,879
Speaker 5: the pitch every moment, never a crack, never nothing. And

853
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 5: now you know, it's like I finally got to the

854
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:29,360
Speaker 5: place where I'm like cool with it. Jones later, my

855
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,760
Speaker 5: voice teacher, she was she got me back to being healthy.

856
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 2: You know, those adjectives don't even describe like Patty and

857
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 2: and Arika and all of them right like they were

858
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:42,400
Speaker 2: even in their moments of mistake. It was still genius,

859
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:46,759
Speaker 2: but they had moments where by educator's check criteria it wasn't.

860
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:47,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

861
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:51,840
Speaker 5: So I'm leaning into this voice because I can smoke

862
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 5: weed and great and nobody cares.

863
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:00,080
Speaker 6: This.

864
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 1: This is what I gotta say.

865
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 4: And I sound like a broken record to our listening

866
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 4: audience with QLs. But it's weird, Like I feel almost

867
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 4: guilty having this platform because like I don't even consider

868
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 4: a media source more than I consider it as a

869
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 4: legit way for me to learn about people.

870
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, and learn about myself.

871
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:34,839
Speaker 5: The commonality that we've made today with you sharing how

872
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:42,279
Speaker 5: you feel about not achieving the space that you want

873
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:46,960
Speaker 5: to be in your music takes my breath away. And

874
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:50,359
Speaker 5: thank you for sharing that, because that's not something that

875
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 5: I would you know, I'm one of those people that

876
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 5: look to go the masters of everything, you.

877
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 6: Know, like that you never know.

878
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:00,560
Speaker 1: Look, I'm shocking people this week.

879
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:05,720
Speaker 4: Steve has actually achieved the impossible.

880
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 1: So as this recording and Steve suggested it so.

881
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 4: Casually, I didn't realize the trap, not the trap that

882
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:20,560
Speaker 4: I fell into. So I do have a fear in life,

883
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 4: and that fear is playing jazz. You know, it's not

884
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:30,680
Speaker 4: that I don't have the ability to do it. And

885
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:33,920
Speaker 4: I think in general, Black people in general have a

886
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 4: fear of being vulnerable, either emotionally vulnerable professionally vulnerable, and

887
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:42,600
Speaker 4: jazz is such well.

888
00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:45,840
Speaker 1: I think music in general is a vulnerability.

889
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 4: But I do notice that I tend to only be

890
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 4: in situations that I'm allowed to control, right and in

891
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 4: this very particular situation, I can control my ten bandmates.

892
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 4: I can, you know, like I know my music like

893
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 4: the back of my hand. But when so, you know,

894
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:11,799
Speaker 4: when I did Steve's project for his label, yes, Sugar Stee, Yes,

895
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:15,319
Speaker 4: when I did my project for his label, you know

896
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 4: that that was one thing getting through the actual recording

897
00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:20,040
Speaker 4: of the album. When he's like, all right, we're gonna

898
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 4: do six shows at the Blue Note, I agreed to it,

899
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 4: but it was so far in the future that you know,

900
00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 4: I wasn't it. I'm shocked that I didn't find a

901
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 4: way to sabotage myself, you know. And so I did

902
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 4: those six shows last night. And that was one of

903
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 4: my biggest fears in life, like playing that level of musicianship.

904
00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:47,400
Speaker 4: I don't know, because again I tended to beat myself

905
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,080
Speaker 4: up way more than I should.

906
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:50,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, and.

907
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 4: For some reason I got through it. So yeah, Steve,

908
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:57,440
Speaker 4: this is a friendship movement with us, and we've known

909
00:50:57,480 --> 00:50:58,240
Speaker 4: each other for.

910
00:50:58,080 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 1: Twenty five years.

911
00:50:59,440 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 6: I love that.

912
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:03,239
Speaker 4: Thank you for taking me out of my fear. But

913
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying to you is, you know,

914
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,280
Speaker 4: thank you. I know that when we tend to share

915
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 4: our stories, whatever our backgrounds are, we might think that

916
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:16,800
Speaker 4: it's for naught or you know, is it the tree

917
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 4: that falls in the forest.

918
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:19,280
Speaker 1: That no one receives or whatever.

919
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:22,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I believe it is definitely one of the

920
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:29,440
Speaker 4: most important episodes of Quest Love Supreme that we've we've taped, and.

921
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:29,560
Speaker 1: I want to thank you for that.

922
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 6: Thank you for having me. It really really means the

923
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 6: world to me.

924
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 5: You know, the fact that you you know, because I

925
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 5: hold you in such high regard, and.

926
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 6: You know it's cool. I feel cool. You make me

927
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:51,520
Speaker 6: feel cool. I appreciate that, and I don't always feel cool.

928
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:59,400
Speaker 4: See guys, and I'm not awkwardly matrix dodging.

929
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,840
Speaker 1: I want to say that no more. I'm truly done Duncan.

930
00:52:03,239 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 4: I'm world famous for ducan compliments and all those things

931
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,279
Speaker 4: I felt non deservant of it, but I know for

932
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:15,319
Speaker 4: I appreciate it, and I am manifesting for you and

933
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:20,239
Speaker 4: for me. I think the overall lesson that we can

934
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 4: collectively learn is that inherently we feel as though we

935
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:31,279
Speaker 4: are enough as human beings. Because I will admit to you,

936
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:36,319
Speaker 4: I'm I'm very allow that overachievement in my life. Of course,

937
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:40,760
Speaker 4: you know, my dad was a world famous backstage dad,

938
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:45,600
Speaker 4: and you know so I'm certain that the people pleasing

939
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:47,880
Speaker 4: thing of me and the overchieving thing of me, it

940
00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 4: has a lot to do with it, you know, trying

941
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 4: to make.

942
00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:52,280
Speaker 1: My dad happy.

943
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:56,879
Speaker 4: But I will say that for our sakes, I hope

944
00:52:56,880 --> 00:53:00,520
Speaker 4: it happens. If it does not happen, and I don't

945
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:03,560
Speaker 4: believe in manifucking myself if it doesn't have it, I'm

946
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 4: fine with that personally myself, for you, I hope that

947
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:10,440
Speaker 4: we find satisfaction and safety.

948
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:14,480
Speaker 2: Everybody find satisfaction and safety on this call and listening

949
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 2: to this interview, and freedom.

950
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:17,359
Speaker 3: Not just Billy in quest love.

951
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:21,400
Speaker 2: We must all achieve these levels of self compassion and

952
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 2: love for ourselves.

953
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:24,319
Speaker 3: Right there, you go, Thank you.

954
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:27,240
Speaker 1: Well, I'm gonna let you enjoy your dinner.

955
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 6: Jolley.

956
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:29,400
Speaker 1: I thank you very much. I wanna be.

957
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:33,680
Speaker 4: Having me, thanks for having me on Paid Bill, New

958
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:37,400
Speaker 4: Paid Bill and this Quest Love Thank you. Bill is

959
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:40,520
Speaker 4: supported for everything and we'll see you guys on the

960
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 4: next career.

961
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:44,240
Speaker 6: Thank you all right, Thank you bye.

962
00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to Quest Love Supreme.

963
00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:50,400
Speaker 8: This podcast is hosted by a Mere quest Love, Thompson,

964
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:55,000
Speaker 8: Layah Saint Clair Sugar, Steve Mandell, and myself unpaid Phil Sirman.

965
00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:58,480
Speaker 8: The executive producers are Mere just Walk into the Goddamn

966
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 8: Room Thompson, Sean and Brian Calhoun. Produced by Brittany Benjamin,

967
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:06,400
Speaker 8: Jake Payne and Liiah Sinclair. Edited by Alex Conroy I

968
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:09,680
Speaker 8: Know Alex Conen. Produced for iHeart by Noel Brown.

969
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:23,520
Speaker 1: West Love Supreme is a production al ihearten Radio.

970
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:31,000
Speaker 4: For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app,

971
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:34,240
Speaker 4: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.