WEBVTT - What Does It Mean To Be A Man? 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:13.440 Got Parker, my brother, with me today. Haven't you haven't 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:15.040 been on the podcast in a while, It's been a 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:18.680 long time. We are talking today continuing a kind of 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:21.240 a trend we've done on this podcast where we answer 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:24.360 your questions if you email podcast at grangersmith dot com. 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:28.720 And the trend has been that I take kind of 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:34.920 the most popular questions to me and bundle them and 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:39.280 we discussed that, and one of the most popular questions 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:44.880 I get is about masculinity in a way of saying, 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:48.400 in other words, what is it? What does it mean 0:00:48.479 --> 0:00:52.879 to be a man? What is a man? Which is 0:00:54.040 --> 0:01:00.760 surprisingly in twenty twenty four a thing, and that changes, 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:03.960 Believe it or not, it changes over millennia, over centuries, 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:10.039 even over decades. That answer changes depending on your worldview. 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:14.400 The most common understanding of what does it be what 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:17.400 does it mean to be a man? Today? The most 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:21.880 common kind of knee jerk reaction to that is strong 0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:27.039 burrely able to work with this, hands, doesn't submit to 0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:33.640 anyone or anything, uses brute force for protection if you 0:01:34.120 --> 0:01:37.080 if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything, 0:01:37.120 --> 0:01:40.160 like that old Aaron tip and nineties country song. So 0:01:40.640 --> 0:01:42.040 that's kind of what we're going to dive in today. 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:45.240 Ant Man has provided us a few videos, and so Parker, 0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:49.560 I've have like I've seen I kind of know the premise, 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:52.000 but I have not seen these videos. So you and 0:01:52.000 --> 0:01:54.320 I are going to experience it for the first time. 0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:56.760 What does it mean to be a man? 0:01:56.880 --> 0:01:58.440 You know, I've described this in a variety of different 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:00.200 ways every time I answered this question. I've written a 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:03.040 whole essay on this thing, but I'll give it to 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:05.640 you just off the top of my head right now, because, 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:07.720 like I said, I think that you can talk about 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:10.959 it in different ways, but I think primarily it means 0:02:11.080 --> 0:02:14.800 to be responsible for yourself, but not just yourself, but 0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:16.480 to be able to take care of others. Because it's 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:20.240 the minimum bar of a man to not be a 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:24.440 negative on society, right, But a man, a true man, 0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:27.000 needs to not be able to just take care of himself, 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:28.360 but be able to take care of other people to 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:29.160 be a net. 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:31.480 So I guess we should ask like this, So far 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:34.839 are we in agreeance with this guy? The minimum bar 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:39.040 of being a man is don't be a menace to society, 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:44.880 And what you're moving for is to be a protector 0:02:45.160 --> 0:02:46.840 within society. 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:49.000 I guess let's. 0:02:48.840 --> 0:02:51.680 Get some more data because I'm kind of with you here. 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:54.799 Let's continue to be a net positive, right. 0:02:55.880 --> 0:02:57.880 That's why I advocate for men paying for dates and 0:02:58.240 --> 0:03:00.800 taking care of women and doing those things, because. 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:03.240 It was just strangely offensive to a certain population. 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:07.839 I like, it amazes me that it's the same, you know, 0:03:08.200 --> 0:03:09.800 it just drives me nus because I have a podcast 0:03:09.880 --> 0:03:12.799 with my wife called Better Than Perfect and we talk 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:16.400 about traditional relationships on there, and there would be so 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:21.040 many angry guys commenting on it that are like, she 0:03:21.120 --> 0:03:22.679 should pay for her own stuff. I'm not going to 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:25.200 pay for And I'm like, these are the exact same 0:03:25.240 --> 0:03:28.760 guys that are upset about feminism, And yeah, I'm like right, 0:03:28.919 --> 0:03:31.040 cause you can't have it both ways. Like if you 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:33.320 want women to be feminine and you want to be mouse, 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:35.440 you want to be the authority in your house and 0:03:35.480 --> 0:03:38.520 be the man, you got to pay for everything. That's 0:03:38.640 --> 0:03:40.480 that's how it is, Like you got to take care 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:43.080 of everybody if you want that authority. But it's the 0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:45.000 same guys, and it just drives me nuts because. 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:48.160 So this is the thing. It's like, you need to 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:50.560 be strong and you need to be a protector, and 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:53.640 you need to provide that's what it means to be 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:58.040 a man. Where does that come from? What's the foundation 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:00.480 of that? Is that stainable? 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:03.280 Yeah, it's interesting because I thought that this was going 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:05.480 to go. I thought that this initial video is going 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:08.640 to go in a different direction of more of just 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:15.520 the David Goggins route or a little bit more straightforward 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:22.000 pushing through obstacles equals masculinity, And this is already immediately 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:26.839 going to more of a selflessness defines masculinity, which is interesting. 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:31.040 Like you said, as I wonder where those guys are 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:34.680 inherently getting that. What in us tells us that the 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:39.359 men should be selfless. I was reading article on the 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:43.240 Titanic the other day and the women and children like, 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:47.239 go first, that's inherent in us that the man should 0:04:47.480 --> 0:04:51.400 sacrifice himself so that the women and the children go like, 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:53.599 why is that inherently in us? And you and I 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:58.080 would say, well, that's biblical. That's the ultimate example of 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:00.400 that was Christ laying his life down. 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:03.440 Greater love hath no man than this. Yeah, it's like 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:06.640 the captain goes down with the ship. That's the thing, 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:13.880 and that kind of translates into the family sphere, the 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:19.600 career world, the team, laying your life down as the 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:22.400 captain of the ship or the leader of the household, 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:25.599 or the teammate who goes all out for his team, 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:29.160 like you reward a player when you see that they 0:05:29.200 --> 0:05:32.600 have blood on their pants and mud and you go, man, 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:34.600 what do you say? You say, he gave it all 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:39.400 for his team. So, like you said, no matter our worldview, 0:05:39.520 --> 0:05:43.359 that's especially right now in twenty twenty four, everyone is 0:05:43.400 --> 0:05:49.760 agreen that part of masculinity means giving yourself up for 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:55.160 the greater people or group or family or team, and 0:05:56.120 --> 0:06:01.320 that is an echo in Christian what we look toward 0:06:02.160 --> 0:06:06.960 in Jesus as he gave his life up for us, 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:10.400 us meaning the people that believe that he did that, 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:15.520 and God enters his own creation and suffers in it. 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:18.600 So suffering is a part of this as well. And 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:20.839 I agree with you. I didn't think this is where 0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:22.680 this is going. This is what's beautiful about ant Man 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:24.880 finding these videos because it's like, hey, we're going to 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:27.760 We're gonna do a podcast answering a question about masculinity 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:31.120 which gets asked all the time, and ant Man's like, 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:33.440 here's how you're going to do it, so we're reacting 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:36.279 to both of us might be a little caught off guard, 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:39.279 and it I think it's good perspective. Let's see if 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:40.640 this video has anything else. 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:44.400 To say and all, because what happens is they're so confused. 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:47.160 They were taught they're not supposed to have the authority. 0:06:47.400 --> 0:06:50.440 They want that authority, but somehow they feel guilty about 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:53.080 that authority, and then they feel conflicted because they're doing 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:53.800 these particular things. 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:54.320 That's interesting. 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:56.920 I mean, that whole idea of accepting responsibility, I think 0:06:57.000 --> 0:06:58.320 is a huge one. 0:06:58.880 --> 0:06:59.960 So I don't mind telling you that. 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:05.600 But I my formation in this comes from my Catholic worldview. 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:08.960 And by the way, I always spind it funny when 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:11.760 people are on shows and they say, hey, you've been successful, John, 0:07:11.800 --> 0:07:13.680 tell us what the key to your success is, and 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:15.480 they are talking about a lot of different things, and 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:16.760 then one of them happens to be and oh, by 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:18.400 the way, my faith, and the person's like, I don't 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:20.240 want the actual answer, I want the fake one that's 0:07:20.240 --> 0:07:22.600 going to be placating my audience. So like, for me, 0:07:22.920 --> 0:07:25.320 if you said what drives me is my atheism, and 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:27.160 I doubt that you're an atheist, I don't know, that's 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:29.440 not my point. Or if you said it's that I'm 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:32.640 a Stoic or I am a Catholic or a Buddhist, I. 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:35.080 Would be interested in that answer, because that's your answer. 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:36.920 So that's why I'm telling you what mine is, because 0:07:36.920 --> 0:07:38.960 otherwise people try to guess and it makes it a 0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:41.960 little easier. So my worldview on this is that really 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:43.880 what it takes to be a man are these things 0:07:43.920 --> 0:07:46.000 that you said, by the way, is super important, but 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:49.640 also the ability to sacrifice for a woman exactly, and 0:07:50.240 --> 0:07:52.960 if you're doing that sacrifice, I think it comes in 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:57.920 a whole way, which brings back together that earlier conversation. Truly, 0:07:57.960 --> 0:08:01.640 a man is a guy who's I'm attracted to this woman, 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:04.880 and I do want something naturally from a physical perspective. 0:08:05.000 --> 0:08:07.320 But even though I want that, I see you as 0:08:07.360 --> 0:08:10.080 a whole person, not an object, but as a subject. 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:12.640 Therefore you want something too, which is a commitment, and 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:15.880 ultimately both want that because also women do want sex. 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:18.200 Men want sex. Men want to commitment. Women want to 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:20.880 commit but it comes maybe a different order for a guy. 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:23.400 So the guy has to work against his natural self 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:26.480 to say, because I respect you, I'm willing to suffer 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:28.200 for you in the beginning of the relationship may not 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:30.360 work out, but in the beginning of the relationship, I'm 0:08:30.400 --> 0:08:33.440 going to resist a desire that I have and then 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:35.800 ultimately for me, I believe that commitment comes after marriage. 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:40.839 But I also realize help so very loose on all 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:44.839 this right, Like he's he's just super loose. He's this guy. 0:08:44.880 --> 0:08:48.559 I don't know this guy. But what we see a 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:52.720 lot in the podcast world is, look, this is your truth. 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:55.680 This is my truth. That's fine, that's great. I respect 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:59.160 your truth. Here's my truth. And I don't know if 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:02.280 he really believes that. But in the podcast world, you 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:04.559 want to say it because you don't want to offend anybody. 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:08.160 But in reality, he's pulling from a he's pulling from 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:13.920 a worldview that sounds a lot like, Jesus, what were you. 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:17.240 I think what we're gonna get on this next one 0:09:17.280 --> 0:09:20.360 is a little more what you expected. But what were 0:09:20.400 --> 0:09:23.680 you thinking with the whole David Goggins thing, because that 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:25.400 was a phenomenon that you and I both kind of 0:09:25.440 --> 0:09:28.800 experienced in twenty seventeen ish. 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:32.760 Yeah, I think that our past generation's idea of manhood was, 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:38.640 you know, John Wayne type character, someone who who was 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:42.760 like stereotypically masculine in that he could, he could fight, 0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:45.920 he could shoot, he could live off the land, he 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:48.200 could use his hands, and he stood up for what 0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:51.720 he believed in. And then we've transitioned as a society 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:55.080 from that being the ideal, you know, ideal masculinity to 0:09:55.520 --> 0:10:04.319 a more passive masculinity that almost embraces feminism, that takes 0:10:04.320 --> 0:10:07.920 a back seat in many ways, that doesn't stand up 0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:10.520 for anything, that is just more passive. 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:12.120 And so we have. 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:17.120 These these these leaders come up, like the Joe Rogan's, 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:19.599 the Jordan Peterson's, and then the David Goggins is a 0:10:19.679 --> 0:10:23.000 little bit more like brute, just vulgar to the extreme 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:26.320 version of that that people have kind of clung onto 0:10:26.440 --> 0:10:31.199 as millions and millions of young men are lost and 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:33.880 searching for meaning and trying to figure out who they 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:37.480 are and they and then Jordan Peterson comes along and 0:10:37.559 --> 0:10:40.360 is extremely intelligent and says, I know exactly who you are, 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:42.680 and I know exactly what your purpose is for life. 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:43.360 And he can. 0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:47.080 Articulate things so well and speak at the speed that 0:10:47.120 --> 0:10:52.480 he thinks. And I remember being twenty four years old 0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:58.120 and borderline agnostic of well, who knows if the Christian 0:10:58.160 --> 0:10:59.400 God is the only god? 0:10:59.760 --> 0:10:59.880 You know? 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:01.640 If I was born in India, maybe i'd believe this. 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:03.360 If I was born in China, maybe I'd believe this. 0:11:03.679 --> 0:11:05.920 What is my purpose? And my dad died when I 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:08.360 was twenty and I didn't have a lot of male 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:10.319 role models in my life, and I clung on to 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:12.760 Jordan Peterson. And Jordan Peterson has some I don't want 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:13.920 to go too long on a tangent on this. He 0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:17.120 has some incredible, incredible things that are extremely helpful. 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:18.480 I'm not dogging on them. I still listen to a 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:19.319 lot of things he says. 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:24.439 But ultimately, guys like Jordan Peterson will say, like I said, 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:27.599 I know who you are, I know what your purpose is. 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:30.080 I know what your problem is, and it's that you're 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:33.000 not bearing enough responsibility in your life. And so Jordan 0:11:33.040 --> 0:11:35.720 Peterson would come and he'd quote Luke nine carry your 0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:38.000 cross daily and he'd say, I know what this means 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:41.720 for you, young men. Stand up, make up your bed, clean 0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:44.720 up your room. Luke nine, Carry your Cross means you 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:48.840 need to bear ultimate responsibility in your life. Take on responsibility, 0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:53.760 get a job, be responsible, have a family, provide for them, Carrie, 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:56.400 and he even he even used God's name in vane when 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:58.640 he was describing me. He said carry your cross daily 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:01.080 and I was like, yeah, that that's my purpose is 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:05.280 to bear ultimate responsibility. So and then you have the 0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:09.240 David Goggins that are a much more just vulgar, vulgar 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:16.199 version of that of just destroy your enemies, stop being mediocre, 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:20.280 which has good principles for the passivity that's wrong with 0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:25.840 with masculinity today, but ultimately it's neither of those options 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:27.400 are are related in Christ. 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:30.760 So what that what that's doing, and what that video 0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:32.960 that we just watched is doing, and what Goggins is doing, 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:37.319 and what Peterson's doing is there they're matching up. It's 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:40.400 kind of like we saw the total eclipse yesterday. They're 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:45.559 they're matching up these what people want to hear with 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:48.120 what the culture is doing right now, and when it's 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:52.240 a perfect match, everything works well. Tim Keller talks about 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:57.520 this how you can't you can't match masculinity with what 0:12:57.559 --> 0:13:00.360 the culture is doing because that's not a timeline way 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:03.439 to do it. For instance, Tim Keller, I'm gonna try 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:05.199 my best to remember I remember hearing this a long 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:10.720 time ago, he describes it like a that a medieval 0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:18.000 warrior is. He's he's strong in battle, and he also 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:26.040 has a sexual tendency to love men. So that sexual 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:28.480 tendency to love men is looked down upon in the 0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:32.560 Middle Ages, but to be a warrior looked has looked 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:37.160 well upon. So he's gonna highlight that and suppress the other. 0:13:37.800 --> 0:13:40.440 Highlight the warrior. Do you remember Tim Keller saying this, 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:43.360 I don't remember what book it was. Highlight the warrior, 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:47.680 suppress the sexual urge. In twenty twenty four, you have 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:52.240 a man that like that loves other men, and he 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:55.800 is also aggressive, like a warrior. So in twenty twenty four, 0:13:55.880 --> 0:14:01.760 he's gonna suppress the aggression and he's gonna highlight the 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:05.640 sexual urge. And so both of these men are exactly 0:14:05.679 --> 0:14:08.880 the same, the medieval warrior and the man in twenty 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:13.720 twenty four. They're the same, with two different traits about 0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:16.480 them that one they will highlight and one they will suppress. 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:20.440 All because culture is agreeing with one in one era 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:22.800 and culture is agreeing with the other in the other era. 0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:27.240 And so it's the same man. And so that that 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:32.240 is building a worldview of masculinity on culture and agreeing 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:35.360 with culture. Right, let's let's look at this video. 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:39.280 I believe that masculinity essentially died in the West and 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:43.000 women became masculine to try to step into that role. 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:46.080 I think that, you know, forty fifty sixty years ago, 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:50.040 women became the guardians of masculinity to create order and 0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:53.320 structure when men died or checked out largely. Then we 0:14:53.400 --> 0:14:56.440 had a written emergence or a rising, a rebirth of masculine, 0:14:56.480 --> 0:14:59.360 but a child version. I think it was shepherded by 0:14:59.400 --> 0:15:03.400 women in the seventies and eighties, maybe the nineties. Child 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:06.680 masculinity of okay, mom, i'll be good, i'll be nice, 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:09.120 i'll be happy, I'll do whatever you tell me too. 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:10.920 I think that rose up and we had a lot 0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:14.080 of happy wife, happy life became the message during that time. 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:16.280 I think that now we're in the middle, or we're 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:17.920 maybe at the tail end of what I would call 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:21.880 juvenile masculinity. The reborn masculinity has been going through its 0:15:21.920 --> 0:15:25.000 turbulent teenage years with look at me, I can bang 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:27.520 a pile of supermodels every night. How many bugattis do 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:30.360 you have? I'm buff, I'm tough, nobody tells me what 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:34.120 to do. We're regaining personal sovereignty, which is the first 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:35.600 real step of masculinity. 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:39.560 Okay, so there's two there's two words just right off 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:41.640 the bat that is what a that's a sixty second clip. 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:46.520 Two words that he says, one reborn and two sovereignty, 0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:52.640 two very biblical words. And this is another video that's 0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:57.360 kind of relating to using women and the rise of 0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:01.480 the power of women, as if that's hurting masculinity in 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:05.400 a way. But that's that's their definition of it, that's 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:08.360 getting hurt. And he says, you need to be reborn basically, 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:15.640 and you need to gain sovereignty. So both of those 0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:20.360 used in opposite ways, really opposite ways of what the 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:23.960 Bible says and so gaining Parker, I want to ask 0:16:24.040 --> 0:16:29.560 you what does it mean to gain personal sovereignty? In fact, 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:35.200 what is the danger of striving with a purpose to 0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:36.880 gain personal sovereignty? 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:39.360 Yeah, it's interesting that what he was saying about like 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:45.800 a juvenile masculinity of to a certain extent, you're going 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:49.000 from just like pure passivity to being reborn. Like we're 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:52.000 all religious, right, whether we admit it or not. Being 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:55.200 reborn we're all we're all serving one thing or another, 0:16:55.320 --> 0:16:57.320 and so I don't know, that's just so interesting to 0:16:57.360 --> 0:17:00.560 think that juvenile masculinity of your just going purely for 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:04.680 like these fleshly desires of like we're seeing a generation 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:09.560 of men that are just going for women, money and power, right, 0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:13.560 And he's basically saying that's taking some form of personal sovereignty, 0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:15.920 or I think what he means by that is personal 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:20.640 responsibility of like the Jocko Willink Navy seal idea that 0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:22.679 you're the only thing that you can control is your 0:17:22.720 --> 0:17:29.480 reaction to certain situations and basically everything, taking ultimate responsibility 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:33.480 basically for everything that happens in your life. And so 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:36.440 all that to say, I think that personal responsibility can 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:43.000 have good intentions initially of taking that responsibility, just like 0:17:43.240 --> 0:17:46.679 Jordan Peterson was talking about of it starts with the 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:49.439 man taking responsibility and not being the victim like you 0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:53.280 were talking about before, where in twenty twenty four it's 0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:55.160 it's much more popular for the man to just play 0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:58.679 the victim, to just sit back. So that's good that 0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:01.919 you start taking personal responses ability. But then to answer 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:04.960 your question, where that can become dangerous is if you say, 0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:10.760 I am in control of literally everything that happens to me, 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:13.919 and so it's good to take personal responsibility for things 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:16.119 and to claim things when they don't go your way. 0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:18.840 But then it gets dangerous when you start when you 0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:25.240 start thinking that you are ultimately what John Piper would 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:28.240 call self determinant and. 0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:29.600 Thinking that. 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:33.240 Whatever I choose. 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:36.040 Is mine is ultimate. 0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:37.080 If that makes sense. 0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:39.640 Yeah, And what we're seeing with both of these videos 0:18:39.720 --> 0:18:44.919 is is two guys three actually claiming that this is 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:47.200 the way to do it. We figured out the way 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:50.200 to be a man. And what it's doing, back to 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:53.560 the tim Keller thing, is it's aligning this with culture. 0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:56.879 So here's what culture says, and here's here's how we 0:18:56.960 --> 0:19:02.520 could make this work. Because then my question is to them, 0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:06.040 because of why, how do you know that? How do 0:19:06.119 --> 0:19:08.000 you know that this isn't just the Middle Ages and 0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:11.720 homosexual reality is bad and warrior good? Or how do 0:19:11.720 --> 0:19:15.120 you know it's not twenty twenty four homosexually homosexuality good, 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:19.520 warrior bad? Suppress or raise up, Raise up or suppress? 0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:22.920 How do you know the difference? There needs to be 0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:27.399 an underlying truth, right that we could lean on, that 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:30.280 we could grasp a hold of so that we're not 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:35.680 deceived by the changing winds of culture or this swinging 0:19:35.760 --> 0:19:40.679 pendulum that happens through the decades where it's like the 0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:45.359 strong man in the nineteen forties and submissive wife, and 0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:48.760 then by Vietnam the wife raises up and the man 0:19:48.840 --> 0:19:53.040 becomes submissive, and then it keeps going, and then the 0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:56.680 woman gains power and then the man. Now the pendulum 0:19:56.680 --> 0:19:59.440 swings and now the man needs to be raising up 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:01.800 in and the woman needs to be more. It's this 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:05.359 mess that no one really understands why. But they're just 0:20:05.440 --> 0:20:11.119 swinging the pendulum, reacting to culture, overreacting way out into 0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:15.160 you know, left field, on reacting to the news they 0:20:15.160 --> 0:20:18.520 see living on CNN or Fox News, which whichever far 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:21.080 left or far right they want, and they're reacting and 0:20:21.119 --> 0:20:24.040 going this is the answer. And so part of this 0:20:24.080 --> 0:20:27.920 podcast and what I've done, what I what I desire 0:20:28.000 --> 0:20:32.840 from this podcast is not to ever give people direct 0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:36.040 right answers, which we are here shortly we're going to 0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:40.240 answer this ourselves. But I want to help people be 0:20:40.320 --> 0:20:43.119 able to think through problems. And so instead of just 0:20:43.160 --> 0:20:46.320 giving people answer answer answer my girlfriend left me, what 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:50.960 do I do you know I'm pregnant, What should I do? Whatever? 0:20:51.080 --> 0:20:53.960 These are all these questions I get. Instead of saying here, 0:20:54.040 --> 0:20:57.679 do this, do this, I would rather equip people to 0:20:57.840 --> 0:21:02.679 think with their own brain yes, and know where to 0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:06.000 build that thought those answers from what foundation to build 0:21:06.040 --> 0:21:09.760 them upon? And so I think that's part of the 0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:13.400 problem with these clips is these men they're not basing 0:21:13.400 --> 0:21:17.640 it on anything besides their own culture and their own lives. 0:21:18.000 --> 0:21:25.520 In twenty twenty four, right, this show is sponsored by Betterhelp. 0:21:25.920 --> 0:21:28.600 So how is your social battery right now? 0:21:28.960 --> 0:21:29.040 Like? 0:21:29.160 --> 0:21:32.720 Is it drained? Is it bursting with energy? Man, I'm 0:21:32.720 --> 0:21:34.640 going through this thing right now where I just have 0:21:34.760 --> 0:21:37.440 to be better about learning how to say no. Right. 0:21:38.040 --> 0:21:40.280 I think we all say yes way too many times, 0:21:40.280 --> 0:21:42.520 and it puts us in a tough situation where our 0:21:42.560 --> 0:21:45.480 battery just feels drained. You know, it's easy to ignore 0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:49.240 our social battery and then spread ourselves thin. 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