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Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. This

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Speaker 1: is a bulletin edition of the Countdown podcast. Donald Trump

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Speaker 1: stole a binder full of this nation's most closely guarded,

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Speaker 1: ultra classified raw intelligence about Russia. He hid it, and

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Speaker 1: he tried to declassify and distribute its contents to his

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Speaker 1: Republican lackeys in the House and the Senate, and to

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Speaker 1: his preferred right wing media propagandists in literally his last

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Speaker 1: hours in the White House January nineteenth and January twentieth,

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty one. Some of the classified materials were given

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Speaker 1: to the serially fired, disgraced ex journalist John Solomon at

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Speaker 1: the White House on January nineteenth, twenty twenty one, and

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Speaker 1: quoting CNN's report on all this, one of Solomon's staffers

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Speaker 1: was even allowed to leave the White House with the

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Speaker 1: d classified records in a paper bag. Trump must be

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Speaker 1: detained immediately on suspicion of having illegally communicated this secret

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Speaker 1: information to people not in any way authorized to know

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Speaker 1: it even existed, and also, given his history of deceit

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Speaker 1: and his history of adoration of foreign dictators, of possibly

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Speaker 1: having communicated this information to other countries Trump is now,

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Speaker 1: for want of a better term, a suspected spy. The binder,

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Speaker 1: last seen at the Trump White House, has not been

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Speaker 1: found in the nearly three years since Trump took it

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Speaker 1: and retained it, or one of his aides retained it

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Speaker 1: in hopes that he could manipulate the secrets it contained

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Speaker 1: to try to erase the evidence of Russian efforts to

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Speaker 1: put the thumb that was the nation's espionage and disinformation

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Speaker 1: departments on the scales of the twenty sixteen American election

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Speaker 1: so that Trump would win and the Kremlin could then

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Speaker 1: manipulate him, as recent history proved that they have manipulated

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Speaker 1: him and manipulate him to this day. Yet the binder

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Speaker 1: and the ten inch thick binder would contain literally thousands

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Speaker 1: of pages and perhaps thousands of different secret documents, yet

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Speaker 1: only a few of them even pertained to what Trump,

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Speaker 1: in his monomaniacal effort to clear his name of his

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Speaker 1: treacherous guilt, wanted to see. Brief references to the Crossfire

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Speaker 1: Hurricane FBI investigation of the documented Trump campaign contacts with

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Speaker 1: Russian officials, disinfo distributors, and other infiltrators. The rest of

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Speaker 1: the binder secrets vital to the security of the United

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Speaker 1: States of America, covered almost every conceivable aspect of information

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Speaker 1: this country had fought to obtain about Russian spying and

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Speaker 1: international perfidy. These are among the implications of a report

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Speaker 1: this morning from CNN, startling and frightening even in the

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Speaker 1: context of the many treasonous crimes and gross and utterly

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Speaker 1: self serving abuses of power Trump has committed in just

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Speaker 1: the area of classified document theft. But the implications are

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Speaker 1: somehow far greater. Still easily inferred from the CNN report

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Speaker 1: is the startling reality that Trump either still has the

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Speaker 1: huge binder of classified documents, which also include American Intelligence

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Speaker 1: agency sources, spy methodology, the mechanics of how this nation

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Speaker 1: gathers intel, the things the Russians or any hostile power

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Speaker 1: would pay untold millions for. Trump either still has that

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Speaker 1: binder hidden somewhere else, or he has given it or

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Speaker 1: sold it to someone else. In short, Donald Trump is

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Speaker 1: unquestionably the starting point for one of the greatest thefts

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Speaker 1: of classified American intelligence about Russia in our nation's history.

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Speaker 1: This event immediately rises to the level of Robert Hanson

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Speaker 1: and Altridge aims, and very possibly even the atomic spies

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Speaker 1: of World War II, like Julius Rosenberg and Klaus Fuchs.

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Speaker 1: Trump's crimes are thus elevated beyond the scope of the

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Speaker 1: Department of Justice, beyond the scope of the Special Prosecutor,

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Speaker 1: beyond the scope of the Attorney General of New York

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Speaker 1: or the District Attorney of New York, or of the

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Speaker 1: Attorney General of Georgia. When the FBI agent Robert Hanson

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Speaker 1: was detained for spying on February twentieth, two thousand and one,

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Speaker 1: he was not given bail, and his attorney's only concern

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Speaker 1: was to complete a plea bargain so that Hanson, a

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Speaker 1: Russian spy, could avoid the death penalty. Hanson would plead

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Speaker 1: guilty just over four months later. To this day, he

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Speaker 1: is serving fifteen consecutive life sentences. The CNN report today

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Speaker 1: also incriminates Trump's last chief of staff and co defendant,

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Speaker 1: Mark Meadows. Trump ordered the Russia binder brought to the

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Speaker 1: White House late during his occupation of that office quote

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Speaker 1: under the care of Meadows, quoting CNN again, the binder

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Speaker 1: was scoured by Republican aides working to redact the most

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Speaker 1: sensitive information so it could be declassified and released publicly.

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Speaker 1: Top Trump administration officials repeatedly tried to block the former

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Speaker 1: president from releasing the documents. On January nineteenth, twenty twenty one,

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Speaker 1: Trump tried to declassify most of the contents of that binder.

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Speaker 1: To again quote the CNN story by Jeremy Herb, Katie Bolillis,

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Speaker 1: Natasha Bertrand, Evan Perez, and Zachary Cohen. Multiple copies of

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Speaker 1: the redacted binder were created inside the White House with

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Speaker 1: plans to distribute them across Washington to Republicans in Congress

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Speaker 1: and right wing journalists. Instead, copies initially sent out were

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Speaker 1: frantically retrieved at the direction of White House lawyers demanding

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Speaker 1: additional redactions. Just minutes before Joe Biden was inaugurated, Meadows

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Speaker 1: rushed to the Justice Department to hand deliver a redacted

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Speaker 1: copy for a last review, but an unredacted version of

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Speaker 1: the binder containing the classified raw intelligence went missing. CNN

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Speaker 1: notes that the binder was not in either Trump's voluntary

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Speaker 1: return of documents that he stole and hid at Marri Lago,

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Speaker 1: nor was it found during the FBI search of Marri

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Speaker 1: Lago weeks later. Last year. The binder is also not

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Speaker 1: referenced in the indictment of Trump by the Special Council's

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Speaker 1: Office for his mishandling of classified information. There is a clue, however,

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Speaker 1: buried in the closed door testimony of the Meadows aid

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Speaker 1: Cassidy Hutchinson to the House January sixth Committee, quoting her,

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Speaker 1: I am almost positive it went home with mister Meadows.

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Speaker 1: Meadows's lawyer has denied this to CNN as if this

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Speaker 1: story on its surface were not appalling enough, not terrifying enough.

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Speaker 1: And remember, if this were the year two thousand and three,

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Speaker 1: and this or a similar binder had been taken by, say,

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Speaker 1: a suspected Al Qaeda operative or sympathizer, the Republican President

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Speaker 1: of the United States and his entire administration would have

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Speaker 1: authorized the capture and the detention at Guantanamo Bay and

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Speaker 1: the waterboarding of whoever was suspected of taking this binder.

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Speaker 1: If what we do know about this latest act of

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Speaker 1: Trump's utter disregard for American national security were not more

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Speaker 1: to fine enough on the surface, there are two further

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Speaker 1: threads to consider. One going back to the infamous Devin

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Speaker 1: Nunez and his frantic efforts to clear Trump on any

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Speaker 1: of the since proved Russian allegations. The history of this

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Speaker 1: binder begins in twenty eighteen, according to CNN, when Nunez,

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Speaker 1: as Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, an ironic title

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Speaker 1: for him, demanded it be compiled. The material he demanded

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Speaker 1: the intelligence community produced was so sensitive that even the

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Speaker 1: Republican led committee agreed with the CIA that the documents

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Speaker 1: could only be stored inside a safe, which was itself

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Speaker 1: inside a vault at CIA headquarters. This was the legendary

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Speaker 1: safe within a safe, or, in a term stolen from

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Speaker 1: the late football announcer John Madden, the Terduccan. By October

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty, Wanny Trump was telling his very nervous intelligence

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Speaker 1: sensitive administration members that he was going to personally go

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Speaker 1: to CIA headquarters in Virginia and demand to see the

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Speaker 1: binder immediately. He insisted it be declassified. He threatened to

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Speaker 1: fire CIA Director Gina Haspell if she tried to block

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Speaker 1: him again, according to CNN, and this led to the

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Speaker 1: near appointment of Trump Lackey Cash Patel to run our

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Speaker 1: most important intelligence agency, a prospect that has already been

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Speaker 1: proposed for a second Trump presidency. By December twenty twenty,

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Speaker 1: Trump's Attorney General, William Barr and his Director of National

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Speaker 1: Intelligence John Ratcliffe were reportedly working to keep Trump from

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Speaker 1: declassifying everything in the ten inch thick binder, while still

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Speaker 1: trying to give Trump some of the material related to

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Speaker 1: him about which he was utterly obsessed. CNN further reports

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Speaker 1: that CI director Haskell, FBI Director Christopher Ray, and the

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Speaker 1: head of the National Security Agency went to congressional intelligence

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Speaker 1: leaders in November or more likely December twenty twenty to

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Speaker 1: warn them about their deep concerns that Trump would make

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Speaker 1: everything public. Attorney General Barr finally resigned on December fifteenth,

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Speaker 1: and those left in office were able to stall Trump

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Speaker 1: until December thirtieth, but by January nineteenth, Trump ordered quote

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Speaker 1: a binder of materials related to Crossfire, Hurricane declassified, and

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Speaker 1: the Keystone Cops Saga described earlier, ensued a paper bag.

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Speaker 1: That is, one thread which if pulled on, should place

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Speaker 1: Demon Nunez and other Republican congressmen of the day under

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Speaker 1: the spotlight of the investigation still maintained by the Special

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Speaker 1: Prosecutor's Office resulting in the charges against Trump in Florida.

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Speaker 1: But the other thread is, of course, what did Trump

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Speaker 1: expect to do with the declassified, ultra secret American intelligence

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Speaker 1: about Russia on such a late date as January nineteenth,

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, the eve of the inauguration of Joe Biden.

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Speaker 1: What did he hope to achieve by specifically giving it

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Speaker 1: to John Solomon, who was scanning all the documents in

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Speaker 1: his office when the White House frantically called and demanded

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Speaker 1: the documents be returned. Was Trump's plan part of a

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Speaker 1: last minute extra Trump coup attempt not previously recognized. Did

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Speaker 1: he hope, in his delusion addled mind, that on the

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Speaker 1: morning of the inauguration he might invoke the Insurrection Act

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Speaker 1: or some other pretense and attempt to prevent the Biden

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Speaker 1: inauguration on this most false premises, and by military force. Regardless,

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Speaker 1: Trump is responsible for the removal and the disappearance of

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Speaker 1: a ten inch thick binder describing the essence the elements

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Speaker 1: of what this nation discovered about Russian interference in America,

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Speaker 1: Russian spying in America, Russian manipulation in America. And those

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Speaker 1: Americans Trump foremost among them, who turned a blind eye

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Speaker 1: to this, or enabled this, or participated in this, must

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Speaker 1: meet the fullest measure of the law, Trump must be

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Speaker 1: immediately detained and held without bail until and unless this

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Speaker 1: secret binder is located. Trump is a clear and present

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Speaker 1: danger to this country. In fact, he is more so

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Speaker 1: that than he has ever been before. The remainder of

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Speaker 1: this bullet edition of the Countdown podcast is the regular

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Speaker 1: Friday edition for December fifteenth. If you have already listened

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Speaker 1: to it, there is no need to listen further. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: After spending most of his life as a bully, Rudolph

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Speaker 1: William Lewis Giuliani will go out as a coward when

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Speaker 1: it takes the jury more than one day to decide

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Speaker 1: how much money you owe the people you lied about.

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Speaker 1: Guess what you're going to owe the people you lied

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Speaker 1: about about eleventy billion dollars because guess what did not

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Speaker 1: happen yesterday? As testimony ended in the Ruby Freeman, Shaye Moss,

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Speaker 1: Rudy Giuliani case, I.

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Speaker 2: Was proven to be telling mis Ruthyn and they were

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Speaker 2: proven to be liars.

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Speaker 1: Once again, that will happen.

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Speaker 2: When I justify to get the whole story, and it

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Speaker 2: will be definitively clear that what I said was true

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Speaker 2: and that whatever happened to them which is, it's unfortunate

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Speaker 2: if other people overreacting, but everything I said about them is.

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Speaker 1: True, and Rudy never testified must have been laryngitis. To

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Speaker 1: defend him, Giuliani's attorney, Joe Sibley basically had to force

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Speaker 1: Giuliani not to testify, and Sibley basically had to turn

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Speaker 1: to an insanity plea. He compared Giuliani to a flat

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Speaker 1: earther who will never believe the truth. His own client

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Speaker 1: begged the jurors to remember that Giuliani did great things

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Speaker 1: on nine to eleven. Spoiler alert, he didn't do great

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Speaker 1: things on nine to eleven. Before the pyre had even

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Speaker 1: started to die down, Rudy Giuliani was trying to leverage

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Speaker 1: two thousand dead New Yorkers into an extra constitutional extent

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Speaker 1: of his term as mayor of the City of New York.

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Speaker 1: The empathy thing a politician reading the room and feigning

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Speaker 1: that he cared funny. Rudy missed the opportunity to go

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Speaker 1: under oath and finally prove that Ruby Freeman and Shane

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Speaker 1: Moss stole the election from his master dementia j Trump,

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Speaker 1: them and the dead president of Venezuela and the Chinese,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know the Symbionese Liberation Army and the

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Speaker 1: National Football League Players Association. Funny, he said nothing in

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Speaker 1: his own defense or to prove his case. Actually, it'll

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Speaker 1: be funny if Freeman and Moss do not file a

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Speaker 1: second defamation case against Giuliani for what he said. After

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Speaker 1: court adjourned the first two days of this past week.

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Speaker 1: As to this case, the jury deliberated three and a

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Speaker 1: half hours yesterday without telling Giuliani how much to make

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Speaker 1: the check for. It has been quite the week for

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Speaker 1: trumpy and cowardice, led by Trump himself, because if the

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Speaker 1: whole Giuliani, this is my chance to prove to you

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Speaker 1: I am right. The election was stolen and they lied

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Speaker 1: about me. Uh, I'm leaving because my grandmother is on fire.

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Speaker 1: Thing sounds familiar. Trump did the same thing this week.

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Speaker 1: He vowed to tell the truth under oath about the

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Speaker 1: New York Business Broad judge and his clerk and the

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Speaker 1: Attorney General and I don't know the bodder Minehoff gang

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Speaker 1: and the Visiting Nurse Association and then slight change of

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Speaker 1: plans instead of having what Trump would call a Perry

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Speaker 1: Mason moment. Since it is the year nineteen sixty six.

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Speaker 1: In all, Trump turned out was not revealing all, telling

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Speaker 1: all he was skipping the rest of the trial. There

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Speaker 1: are all kinds of terrible and even bigoted things that

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Speaker 1: one might call what Giuliani and Trump did, But the

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Speaker 1: worst things to call Giuliani and Trump are Giuliani and Trump.

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Speaker 1: Cowardice was also on sale at popular prices throughout trump

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Speaker 1: Land this week. In Atlanta yesterday, the letters of apology

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Speaker 1: required for the plea deals for Trump nineteen confessed conspirators

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Speaker 1: Sidney Powell and Kenneth Chesbro were obtained through a Public

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Speaker 1: Records Act motion by the Atlanta Journal Constitution, and Powell's

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Speaker 1: videotape proffer may have been illuminating, but she and Chesbrow

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Speaker 1: spared the court and the citizens of Georgia and the

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Speaker 1: United States of America any troublesome, complicated, or lengthy remorse. Quote.

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Speaker 1: I apologize to the citizens of the state of Georgia

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Speaker 1: and of Fulton County for my involvement in count fifteen

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Speaker 1: of the indictment, wrote Kenny the Cheese Wow, twenty three

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Speaker 1: whole words. Ken, I've gotten fortune cookies longer than that. Still,

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Speaker 1: Chesbrow looked verbose by contrast to the Kraken Lady quote,

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Speaker 1: I apologize for my actions in connection with the events

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Speaker 1: in Coffee County. Thirteen words must have been up all

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Speaker 1: night editing that down. Huh, sid, you might say, so what.

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Speaker 1: The apologies are insincere? The letters are formalities, and of

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Speaker 1: course Giuliani wasn't going to stick to his beliefs, no

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Speaker 1: matter how crazy they were. And of course Trump would

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Speaker 1: back out or waddle out. Words don't count to him

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Speaker 1: because he's allowed to lie whenever he needs to in

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Speaker 1: both directions at the same time, because all of the

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Speaker 1: rest of us are just extras in his movie Dementia,

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Speaker 1: j Trump's autobiographical history of the Universe. But here listen carefully,

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Speaker 1: because it'll be the first and probably the last time

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Speaker 1: I do this. I will invoke and praise Jenna Ellis,

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Speaker 1: who also had to write one of those chesbro Howell

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Speaker 1: apology letters, and who, even if she still defines the

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Speaker 1: lawyer representing themselves, who has the fool for the client?

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Speaker 1: She wrote two hundred and fifty jially painful words and

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Speaker 1: had the guts or at least the strategic intelligence to

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Speaker 1: sit there and read it herself to the judge on

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Speaker 1: tape complete with tears, and as much as I would

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Speaker 1: like to think those tears were fake, they weren't. The

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Speaker 1: importance of Giuliani and Trump whimping out is that it

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Speaker 1: underscores that when the spit hits the fan, the bullies

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Speaker 1: are the first to run. The lesson in this is simple,

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Speaker 1: Hit them. Hit them every day. Hit them with every lawsuit,

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Speaker 1: every indictment, every protest, every public mockery, every embarrassment, every joke.

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Speaker 1: Hit them with everything you have, every day for the

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Speaker 1: rest of their lives. Because what Trump proved by not

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Speaker 1: being in a New York courtroom Monday, and what Giuliani

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Speaker 1: proved by squirming at the defense table yesterday is that

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Speaker 1: you can break them, both of them, maybe not all

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Speaker 1: at once and maybe not permanently, but they cannot bullshit

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Speaker 1: their way out of everything. People watching the movie Classic

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Speaker 1: Citizen Kin go to the dying Charles Foster Caine gurgling

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Speaker 1: out his dying word rosebud as the quote from an

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Speaker 1: eminently quotable film, But for me, it has always been

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Speaker 1: the scene in which the crooked politician Boss Getty's catches

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Speaker 1: Cain in an apartment with a woman who is not

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Speaker 1: his wife. And by the way, for context, this is

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Speaker 1: in the pre Moms for Liberty days, when that wasn't

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Speaker 1: okay even if your wife was also there. Getties offers

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Speaker 1: Cain a chance to withdraw from their race for governor

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Speaker 1: of New York rather than subject his family to the

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Speaker 1: subsequent scandal about the apartment and the woman who's not

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Speaker 1: his wife. Cain screams threats about sending Getty's to sing

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Speaker 1: sing Getty's, presented by actor Ray Collins as the definition

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Speaker 1: of the banality of evil, answers him flatly, You're the

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Speaker 1: greatest fool I've ever known, Cain. If it was anybody else,

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Speaker 1: I'd say, what's gonna happen to you? Would be a

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Speaker 1: lesson to you, Only you're gonna need more than one lesson,

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Speaker 1: and you're gonna get more than one lesson. Still gives

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Speaker 1: me chills. It should give Trump chills more eminently, probably today.

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Speaker 1: It should give Rudy Giuliani chills. It probably even would

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Speaker 1: if either of them had any nerve endings left. They'll

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Speaker 1: feel it later. Because we must make twenty twenty four

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Speaker 1: the year in which Trump and Giuliani and Steve Bannon

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Speaker 1: and Stephen Miller and Cash Patel and all of them

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Speaker 1: who need more than one lesson, we must make twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty four the year in which they get more than

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Speaker 1: one lesson. By the way, before moving on to how

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Speaker 1: much nobody cared about Vivek Ramaswami in a CNN town

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Speaker 1: Hall Wednesday, to say nothing about volume three of the

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Speaker 1: Charles Barkley Gaale King Witness Relocation Hour. Just to tie

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Speaker 1: off that you're going to get more than one lesson

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Speaker 1: quote from Citizen Kane for the benefit of one particular listener,

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Speaker 1: mister dementia. Jay trump I mentioned the actor who delivered

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Speaker 1: that line, portraying Boss Jim W. Getty's. He was Ray Collins,

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Speaker 1: and boy has he never gotten the do he deserves?

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Speaker 1: Just spectacular in Citizen Kane and in the other Orson

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Speaker 1: Wells masterpiece, The Magnificent Ambersons. He played in the Wells

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Speaker 1: radio events still controversial to this day, War of the Worlds.

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Speaker 1: He was unforgettable in Touch of Evil and in the

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Speaker 1: Best Years of Our Lives even at a bunch of

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Speaker 1: sappy bas small pictures. But Ray Collins ended his career

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Speaker 1: in a recurring role in a television series. He was

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Speaker 1: the diligent but a little too boastful LA Police flat

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Speaker 1: foot Lieutenant Arthur Trag who always got tripped up in

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Speaker 1: cross examination by the star of the show, the attorney

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Speaker 1: Perry Mason, the one Trump keeps talking about, You're gonna

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Speaker 1: need more than one lesson, and you're gonna get more

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Speaker 1: than one lesson, Perry Mason. And that's true also for

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Speaker 1: Vivic Ramaswami and CNN the town Hall Wednesday night with

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Speaker 1: the only man who might be able to outlie Trump

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Speaker 1: in a battle to the death, and how I wish

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Speaker 1: they would try that. V Bake Ramswami. The total number

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Speaker 1: of viewers in primetime on CNN five hundred and ninety

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Speaker 1: one thousand. I mean, television news is dying, but it's

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Speaker 1: not dying that fast. That's five episodes of this podcast.

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Speaker 1: Whatever CNN thought it was gaining putting that paranoid manure

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Speaker 1: salesman on, I can only guess. Ramaswami even drew thirty

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Speaker 1: one thousand fewer viewers than Ron DeSantis did on Tuesday.

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Speaker 1: He drew fewer viewers than he's lead in Anderson Cooper

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Speaker 1: did five hundred and ninety one thousand viewers. Good God.

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Speaker 1: Even Aaron Burnett had six hundred and fifty nine thousand,

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Speaker 1: and since we are on this subject, after Ramaswami. Right

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Speaker 1: afterwards comes episode three out of a complete series of

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Speaker 1: three of King Charles Chris Lickt's Last and Stupidest idea

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Speaker 1: four one hundred and fifty three thousand viewers for a

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Speaker 1: news show in which Charles Barkley and Gail King talk

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Speaker 1: about something, and it actually lost quarter of vv Gramaswami's

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Speaker 1: invisible audience, and King Charles is somehow down ten percent

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Speaker 1: from its disastrous launch ratings happily, and this brings us

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Speaker 1: back to Trump and politics and a culture in which

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Speaker 1: you don't like reality. Just call it a liar. You

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Speaker 1: want it to be day and it's night. You can

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Speaker 1: just shout loudly enough that it really is day, and

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Speaker 1: you and only you can see the fact that it's day.

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Speaker 1: Barkley responded to his humiliating failure the first night of

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Speaker 1: this show by blaming the ratings company. I want to

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Speaker 1: tell my team man, these Nielsen people are the biggest

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Speaker 1: clowns in the world, he said. The ratings can't be right,

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Speaker 1: he implied, because he doesn't know anybody with a Nielsen box.

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Speaker 1: And you may recall when he was still interesting, Charles

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Speaker 1: Barkley speculated about running for governor of Alabama as a Republican. Chuck,

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Speaker 1: you're not good at this, nobody's interested in you doing it,

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Speaker 1: and you're not honest about it with yourself or anybody else.

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Speaker 1: So let me ask you this. Do you own a

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Speaker 1: shell company? Did you loan your own brother two hundred

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars and then he paid you back? And if so,

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Speaker 1: could you still shout at the son of a president

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Speaker 1: from the other party for having a shell company or

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Speaker 1: at his father for loaning money? Chuck, if so, you

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Speaker 1: would be perfect for today's GOP. Also, I wouldn't worry

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Speaker 1: about having to tell your team anything for much longer.

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Speaker 1: Some headlines, Trump has sold the rooms rancid stakes, and

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Speaker 1: universities that didn't teach, and magazines that didn't sell, and

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Speaker 1: airlines that didn't fly. But I have rarely seen him

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Speaker 1: sell anything as hard, especially anything that literally does not

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Speaker 1: exist as this presidential immunity thing. He stumbled through a

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Speaker 1: reference to a plea deal from the Supreme Court about it,

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Speaker 1: whatever that means, and he posted and reposted and re

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Speaker 1: reposted the same rant yesterday on the important matter of

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Speaker 1: presidential immunity, something which is so basic to America that

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Speaker 1: it should be automatic. Trump does not say why it

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Speaker 1: would be basic to America, or why if it's so automatic,

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Speaker 1: and if it exists that the Supreme Court would not

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Speaker 1: rule that he's right about it. But he is selling

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Speaker 1: this hard. This underscores the fact that Trump has only

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Speaker 1: to say it to validate it with his cult. I

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Speaker 1: doubt anybody would bother. But I guarantee you if you

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Speaker 1: polled Dementia Jay's slaves, they would insist by ninety or

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Speaker 1: ninety five percent that no, no, he had testified this

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Speaker 1: week in the New York Business broad case. I saw him.

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Speaker 1: And then if he came out and said no, he

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Speaker 1: did not testify because he was being unfairly gagged, ninety

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Speaker 1: or ninety five percent would then say he had not testified.

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Speaker 1: I do not know what to do about these people.

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Speaker 1: I do know they are incompatible with a free society

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Speaker 1: with a representative form of government, and if it has

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Speaker 1: to be that or them, it's going to have to

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Speaker 1: be that. By the way, Trump lost again, this time

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Speaker 1: before a three judge state appeals panel in another attempt

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Speaker 1: to overturn the gag order. So he can resume trying

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Speaker 1: to get Judge Arthur Engeron's family and his clerk killed.

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Speaker 1: It is striking that, amid more legal activity than the

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Speaker 1: apocryphal law firm of Engulf and Devour, Trump has never

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Speaker 1: once turned to America First Legal, Stephen Miller's supposed conservative

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Speaker 1: counterpoint to the ACLU. It is now trying to find

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Speaker 1: people who believe they were unfairly not hired because they

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Speaker 1: were white and want to sue IBM, The Daily Beast

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00:29:14,915 --> 00:29:18,195
Speaker 1: now says. In the year twenty twenty two, this nonprofit

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Speaker 1: reported forty four million dollars in contributions. It spent thirty

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Speaker 1: five million. Of that two million, seven hundred thousand went

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Speaker 1: to salaries, one and a half million was spent on

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Speaker 1: lawsuits and other legal services. Thirty million, thirty million dollars

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Speaker 1: eighty five percent of its expenses went to advertising. Advertising

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Speaker 1: that was mostly about things like Joe Biden. Even though

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Speaker 1: as a nonprofit, Steven Miller's America First Legal is barred

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Speaker 1: from participating in any political activity. Wait, so you're saying

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Speaker 1: Stephen Miller is a con man and a fraud bending,

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Speaker 1: if not flat out breaking the law, and not just

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Speaker 1: the paranoid hate Monger, whose dreams of ethnic cleansing in

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Speaker 1: America are driven because a girl of Hispanic heritage humiliated

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Speaker 1: him back in high school. Mister Miller, you're going to

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Speaker 1: need more than one lesson, and you're going to get

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Speaker 1: more than one lesson. And lastly, today, guess what's.

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Speaker 3: Back, Oh, ghost buses.

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Speaker 4: Those buses were removed from the Union station, and we're

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Speaker 4: going to document all of that.

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Speaker 2: So you believe that those buses held undercover offices, not informants, correct.

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Speaker 4: I feel very, very confident that everybody that was on

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Speaker 4: those two buses were FBI assets, and I have a

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Speaker 4: high degree of belief that they were actual FBI agents.

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Speaker 4: And I'm sorry to say, man, my objective conclusion is

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00:31:06,435 --> 00:31:12,515
Speaker 4: that is, as sen your officials at the FBI were

429
00:31:12,555 --> 00:31:13,795
Speaker 4: deeply involved there.

430
00:31:14,035 --> 00:31:20,995
Speaker 1: Yes, Congressman Kay Higgins, disgraced former cop in Opahalusa's city, Louisiana,

431
00:31:21,875 --> 00:31:28,355
Speaker 1: interviewed by disgraced former sixty Minutes correspondent Lara Logan. A

432
00:31:28,395 --> 00:31:32,755
Speaker 1: lot of disgrace, not a lot of functioning cortexes. So

433
00:31:32,875 --> 00:31:38,395
Speaker 1: now the ghost buses are missing, ghost buses. They're missing

434
00:31:39,075 --> 00:31:45,555
Speaker 1: that would make them ghosts ghost buses. This interview was

435
00:31:45,595 --> 00:31:49,315
Speaker 1: on Lara Logan's streaming show, which literally and I had

436
00:31:49,355 --> 00:31:51,915
Speaker 1: to look at it four times to make sure this

437
00:31:52,035 --> 00:31:56,075
Speaker 1: was not just my wishful thinking manifesting itself before my eyes.

438
00:31:56,995 --> 00:32:03,195
Speaker 1: Her show literally starts with Lara Logan playing in traffic,

439
00:32:04,275 --> 00:32:08,395
Speaker 1: and then a shot of her writing in penn in

440
00:32:08,435 --> 00:32:13,155
Speaker 1: your ninth grade composition class notebook in big, loony looking letters.

441
00:32:13,835 --> 00:32:20,835
Speaker 1: The rest of the story. There is, however, one thing

442
00:32:21,315 --> 00:32:26,195
Speaker 1: missing Lara Logan's The rest of the story with crazy

443
00:32:26,275 --> 00:32:33,955
Speaker 1: Clay Higgins is missing a theme song. If I may

444
00:32:34,275 --> 00:32:48,515
Speaker 1: suggest one, Oh Nancy into something parked. Hey you insurrection?

445
00:32:49,755 --> 00:33:01,315
Speaker 1: Who you gonna call God? Thank you, Nancy Faust. You

446
00:33:01,315 --> 00:33:03,235
Speaker 1: know it occurs to me if she had called the

447
00:33:03,275 --> 00:33:07,515
Speaker 1: series Lara Logan playing in Traffic, people might have watched.

448
00:33:08,115 --> 00:33:10,315
Speaker 1: Also of interest here, just when you thought the Republican

449
00:33:10,355 --> 00:33:13,355
Speaker 1: Party had reached some kind of apogee of cynicism and

450
00:33:13,435 --> 00:33:17,035
Speaker 1: corruption in George Santos, wait till you see who they

451
00:33:17,075 --> 00:33:19,795
Speaker 1: have lined up to run for the House seat he

452
00:33:19,875 --> 00:33:26,235
Speaker 1: had to resign in what passes for Republican shame. First hint,

453
00:33:26,515 --> 00:33:34,395
Speaker 1: she's a registered Democrat. That's next. This is countdown. This

454
00:33:34,515 --> 00:33:37,355
Speaker 1: is countdown with Keith Olberman.

455
00:33:49,595 --> 00:33:55,995
Speaker 5: This is Sports Center. Wait, check that not anymore. This

456
00:33:56,835 --> 00:34:06,635
Speaker 5: is Countdown with Keith Olberman in Sports Stateline, Los Angeles.

457
00:34:06,715 --> 00:34:10,995
Speaker 5: Not all the heroes are actually great players. Gene Carr

458
00:34:11,035 --> 00:34:13,915
Speaker 5: has died, and in some hockey circles he is being

459
00:34:13,915 --> 00:34:16,355
Speaker 5: mourned as if he were a Hall of Famer. The

460
00:34:16,395 --> 00:34:19,315
Speaker 5: fourth pick in the NHL draft in nineteen seventy one,

461
00:34:19,635 --> 00:34:22,555
Speaker 5: he made the Saint Louis Blues opening night roster as

462
00:34:22,595 --> 00:34:25,835
Speaker 5: a twenty year old with no professional experience, and he

463
00:34:25,915 --> 00:34:31,035
Speaker 5: broke into the league as perhaps the fastest skating player

464
00:34:31,195 --> 00:34:35,035
Speaker 5: of his generation. His father had played briefly in the NHL.

465
00:34:35,795 --> 00:34:40,235
Speaker 5: Gene Carr's mother was a championship speed skater. In the

466
00:34:40,315 --> 00:34:43,195
Speaker 5: NHL of nineteen seventy one, not everybody was even a

467
00:34:43,235 --> 00:34:48,435
Speaker 5: good skater, and almost nobody wore a helmet. So Gene Carr, young,

468
00:34:48,715 --> 00:34:52,435
Speaker 5: blonde haired, long haired, going from end to end of

469
00:34:52,475 --> 00:34:57,675
Speaker 5: the rink, his locks flowing behind him, looked like a superstar.

470
00:34:58,395 --> 00:35:01,515
Speaker 5: Fourteen games into his NHL career, the New York Rangers

471
00:35:01,555 --> 00:35:05,195
Speaker 5: traded four top prospects to Saint Louis for him, and

472
00:35:05,315 --> 00:35:09,435
Speaker 5: Broadway welcomed Gene Carr as a hero. And in the

473
00:35:09,475 --> 00:35:12,115
Speaker 5: next one hundred and thirty nine games with the New

474
00:35:12,195 --> 00:35:19,795
Speaker 5: York Rangers, Gene Carr scored eighteen goals. That's not a lot.

475
00:35:20,795 --> 00:35:23,595
Speaker 5: It became the subtext of games at Madison Square Garden.

476
00:35:23,755 --> 00:35:26,235
Speaker 5: Gene Carr could skate from one net to the other

477
00:35:26,275 --> 00:35:29,235
Speaker 5: in about four seconds, but if you gave him four

478
00:35:29,315 --> 00:35:32,115
Speaker 5: minutes in front of the opposing net, he still could

479
00:35:32,115 --> 00:35:35,475
Speaker 5: not score a goal. As the legendary New York born

480
00:35:35,515 --> 00:35:39,595
Speaker 5: referee and Rangers announcer Bill Chadwick once lamented, more in

481
00:35:39,675 --> 00:35:41,275
Speaker 5: sympathy than in anger.

482
00:35:41,555 --> 00:35:43,915
Speaker 1: Gene Carr couldn't put the puck in the ocean and

483
00:35:43,955 --> 00:35:47,595
Speaker 1: if he was standing on the pier. The Rangers eventually

484
00:35:47,675 --> 00:35:50,275
Speaker 1: gave up and traded gene Carr to the Los Angeles

485
00:35:50,355 --> 00:35:53,675
Speaker 1: Kings in nineteen seventy four, still just twenty three years

486
00:35:53,715 --> 00:35:56,835
Speaker 1: old and playing in a totally no pressure hockey environment,

487
00:35:57,235 --> 00:36:01,115
Speaker 1: meaning there were about nine thousand regular Kings fans in

488
00:36:01,155 --> 00:36:04,035
Speaker 1: those days. Carr played well, he learned to fight a

489
00:36:04,075 --> 00:36:07,355
Speaker 1: little bit, scored fifteen goals one season, and he fell

490
00:36:07,395 --> 00:36:10,875
Speaker 1: in with the celebrity crowd. One day, he brought some

491
00:36:10,995 --> 00:36:13,515
Speaker 1: friends to a King's home game at the Fabulous for him.

492
00:36:13,595 --> 00:36:18,395
Speaker 1: His friends were the Eagles, the Eagles, Glenn Frye and

493
00:36:18,475 --> 00:36:22,035
Speaker 1: Don Henley and everybody and whatever else Gene Carr had

494
00:36:22,155 --> 00:36:25,075
Speaker 1: or had not done when he died this week, he

495
00:36:25,155 --> 00:36:28,675
Speaker 1: will last as long as rock and roll does. Because

496
00:36:28,715 --> 00:36:32,235
Speaker 1: if you've ever heard the Eagles song new Kid in Town,

497
00:36:32,875 --> 00:36:35,835
Speaker 1: the new Kid in Town, the guy they wrote that

498
00:36:36,035 --> 00:36:42,035
Speaker 1: song about, reportedly anyway, was Gene Carr. Gene Carr, seventy

499
00:36:42,155 --> 00:36:45,595
Speaker 1: nine career NHL goals and a number one hit on

500
00:36:45,635 --> 00:37:25,115
Speaker 1: the charts, was seventy two years old. Thank you, Nancy Faust,

501
00:37:28,115 --> 00:37:31,275
Speaker 1: State Line, Guildford, Connecticut. Much in the same manner, Ken

502
00:37:31,395 --> 00:37:34,075
Speaker 1: McKenzie became a star with the original New York Mets.

503
00:37:34,555 --> 00:37:37,195
Speaker 1: The team lost one hundred and twenty out of the

504
00:37:37,195 --> 00:37:39,995
Speaker 1: one hundred and sixty games it played in its first

505
00:37:40,035 --> 00:37:43,995
Speaker 1: season of existence nineteen sixty two, but mackenzie, and unassuming,

506
00:37:44,075 --> 00:37:47,355
Speaker 1: bespectacled left handed reliever from Canada by way of Yale,

507
00:37:47,955 --> 00:37:53,275
Speaker 1: won five games and lost four, which made him the

508
00:37:53,395 --> 00:37:57,515
Speaker 1: only one of the seventeen pitchers on the nineteen sixty

509
00:37:57,555 --> 00:38:00,955
Speaker 1: two Mets to finish with a winning record. In fact,

510
00:38:00,995 --> 00:38:04,075
Speaker 1: the next year, he won three games and lost only

511
00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:06,675
Speaker 1: one making it the only pitcher on the nineteen sixty

512
00:38:06,715 --> 00:38:09,395
Speaker 1: three Mets to finish with a winning record. In fact,

513
00:38:09,435 --> 00:38:13,195
Speaker 1: no other Mets pitcher would have a winning record until

514
00:38:13,275 --> 00:38:17,915
Speaker 1: nineteen sixty five. Others suffered through the early years of

515
00:38:17,955 --> 00:38:20,875
Speaker 1: the Mets. Ken mackenzie, later the baseball coach at Yale,

516
00:38:21,075 --> 00:38:25,355
Speaker 1: then an alumni executive at the university, reveled in them.

517
00:38:25,795 --> 00:38:28,395
Speaker 1: He made it to the Mets twenty twenty two Old

518
00:38:28,475 --> 00:38:32,235
Speaker 1: Timers Day in a wheelchair. His license plate on his

519
00:38:32,315 --> 00:38:36,755
Speaker 1: car read nineteen sixty two met, and his humor was

520
00:38:36,795 --> 00:38:40,355
Speaker 1: consistent for sixty years. At one point, somebody pointed out

521
00:38:40,355 --> 00:38:43,035
Speaker 1: that he had the highest ERA on the team, to

522
00:38:43,075 --> 00:38:46,835
Speaker 1: which mackenzie answered, yes, but I have the lowest salary

523
00:38:47,355 --> 00:38:50,235
Speaker 1: of anybody in the Yale class of nineteen fifty six.

524
00:38:51,515 --> 00:38:54,875
Speaker 1: Ken mackenzie died at his home yesterday morning. He was

525
00:38:54,915 --> 00:39:19,395
Speaker 1: eighty nine years old. Still to come on Countdown Fridays

526
00:39:19,395 --> 00:39:22,955
Speaker 1: with Thurber and Mann versus machine, with the machine reduced

527
00:39:22,955 --> 00:39:30,035
Speaker 1: to the seemingly benign but anything but benign Medicine Cabinet

528
00:39:30,395 --> 00:39:34,715
Speaker 1: nine needles next first time for the daily roundup of

529
00:39:34,715 --> 00:39:37,235
Speaker 1: the miss Grants, Morons and Dunning Kruger effect specimens, who

530
00:39:37,275 --> 00:39:41,635
Speaker 1: constitute two days waste persons in the world is standing

531
00:39:41,675 --> 00:39:46,955
Speaker 1: on the pier the bronze the worst. Elon Musk. When

532
00:39:46,955 --> 00:39:50,235
Speaker 1: you're self driving cars keep crashing, what do you do?

533
00:39:50,235 --> 00:39:52,875
Speaker 1: Do you improve them? No? You do not. You try

534
00:39:52,875 --> 00:39:55,875
Speaker 1: to prevent the government from telling people that they keep crashing.

535
00:39:56,475 --> 00:39:59,555
Speaker 1: This is the kind of headline that could bankrupt a company,

536
00:39:59,835 --> 00:40:04,555
Speaker 1: and it is live on the website of our technica. Quote.

537
00:40:05,115 --> 00:40:11,795
Speaker 1: Tesla claims California false advertising law violates First Amendment. Tesla

538
00:40:11,875 --> 00:40:17,075
Speaker 1: fights DMB complaint that autopilot is falsely advertised as autonomous

539
00:40:17,195 --> 00:40:24,155
Speaker 1: unquote nice free speech advocacy Free speech boy, the runner

540
00:40:24,275 --> 00:40:27,955
Speaker 1: up wor Sir Kevin McCarthy, the already X speaker soon

541
00:40:27,995 --> 00:40:31,555
Speaker 1: to be ex congressman, has decided he is in demand.

542
00:40:32,515 --> 00:40:36,035
Speaker 1: McCarthy says he is open to serving in a Trump administration.

543
00:40:36,115 --> 00:40:38,635
Speaker 1: I mean, why not. McCarthy has already proved to Trump

544
00:40:38,715 --> 00:40:41,755
Speaker 1: his willingness to pore himself out for Trump, but a

545
00:40:41,835 --> 00:40:45,635
Speaker 1: far greater interest. McCarthy tells Axios he'd like to work

546
00:40:45,675 --> 00:40:52,635
Speaker 1: with his pal Elon Musk in artificial intelligence, And once again,

547
00:40:52,675 --> 00:40:56,715
Speaker 1: why not. I mean, when I think artificial the first

548
00:40:56,755 --> 00:41:03,075
Speaker 1: person who comes to mind is Kevin McCarthy. Intelligence not

549
00:41:03,235 --> 00:41:07,315
Speaker 1: so much the winner the Republican leadership of Queens and

550
00:41:07,475 --> 00:41:11,075
Speaker 1: Nassau Counties in New York. These are the people who

551
00:41:11,115 --> 00:41:19,435
Speaker 1: brought us George Santos, Congressman at Large, in drag their

552
00:41:19,555 --> 00:41:22,355
Speaker 1: new idea to run for the seat that Santos says

553
00:41:22,595 --> 00:41:26,035
Speaker 1: just had to resign from in disgrace. They have nominated

554
00:41:26,075 --> 00:41:31,355
Speaker 1: a county legislator with no public platform other than support

555
00:41:31,395 --> 00:41:35,635
Speaker 1: for Israel. How does she feel about abortion? Nowbody knows Trump,

556
00:41:35,915 --> 00:41:41,355
Speaker 1: nowbody knows democracy. Nobody knows anything else about President Biden.

557
00:41:41,635 --> 00:41:46,755
Speaker 1: Nobody knows. Her name is Mazi Melaissa Pilip and she

558
00:41:46,915 --> 00:41:51,035
Speaker 1: was born in Ethiopia and she served in the Israeli

559
00:41:51,075 --> 00:41:55,995
Speaker 1: Defense Forces. She checks interesting boxes. She's black, she's a veteran,

560
00:41:56,315 --> 00:41:58,915
Speaker 1: and there are a couple of drawbacks thrown in. She

561
00:41:58,995 --> 00:42:03,195
Speaker 1: has a really difficult accent. She makes George Santos sound

562
00:42:03,235 --> 00:42:07,035
Speaker 1: like a generic voiceover renown. And her name is pronounced Mazi,

563
00:42:07,675 --> 00:42:13,075
Speaker 1: but it's spelled Mazi, you know, like Nazi, but with

564
00:42:13,155 --> 00:42:17,675
Speaker 1: an M. Her only tenuous connection to Congress is she

565
00:42:17,835 --> 00:42:23,795
Speaker 1: campaigned alongside and called a quote amazing friend. George Santos

566
00:42:24,235 --> 00:42:27,355
Speaker 1: On one more little detail. The new Republican candidate for

567
00:42:27,395 --> 00:42:33,875
Speaker 1: the House, Miss Mazi Malaysa Pilip is a registered Democrat.

568
00:42:35,715 --> 00:42:42,355
Speaker 1: NASA and Queen's County Republicans just nominated a Democrat for Congress. Hey,

569
00:42:42,395 --> 00:42:45,755
Speaker 1: you know Santos is hugely popular on that cameo thing.

570
00:42:45,915 --> 00:42:48,835
Speaker 1: Think of his name recognition. Give him some time to

571
00:42:48,915 --> 00:42:52,915
Speaker 1: cool off. Maybe we can run them again. The NASA

572
00:42:52,955 --> 00:42:55,835
Speaker 1: and Queens County leadership of the Republican Party.

573
00:42:55,955 --> 00:43:02,755
Speaker 3: Two days worst persons in the world, like Nazi, but

574
00:43:02,835 --> 00:43:24,635
Speaker 3: with an m.

575
00:43:14,195 --> 00:43:17,155
Speaker 1: Just ahead Fridays with Thurber and a double header including

576
00:43:17,155 --> 00:43:20,635
Speaker 1: one of his fables, word for word, the funniest and

577
00:43:20,755 --> 00:43:25,715
Speaker 1: most incisive stuff ever written. The City Mouse goes to

578
00:43:25,755 --> 00:43:29,595
Speaker 1: the country next first time for more dogs you can help.

579
00:43:29,635 --> 00:43:33,115
Speaker 1: Every dog has its day. In fact, nine dogs and

580
00:43:33,555 --> 00:43:38,435
Speaker 1: eleven cats, nine ducks, two EMUs, three rabbits, a parrot,

581
00:43:38,915 --> 00:43:44,555
Speaker 1: twenty four silky chickens, and ninety rescue chickens. They are

582
00:43:44,595 --> 00:43:48,795
Speaker 1: at National Boxer Rescue in Pierce, Minnesota, and the county

583
00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:51,075
Speaker 1: board there is about to vote to take the land

584
00:43:51,115 --> 00:43:54,395
Speaker 1: away from them and close this rescue. They're thirty thousand

585
00:43:54,475 --> 00:43:57,355
Speaker 1: dollars in debt, with almost no donations coming in and

586
00:43:57,395 --> 00:44:00,315
Speaker 1: no idea where the animals will go if they have

587
00:44:00,395 --> 00:44:04,355
Speaker 1: to close. If you think placing rescue dogs is tough,

588
00:44:04,715 --> 00:44:10,355
Speaker 1: imagine rescue chickens and rescue EMUs and crazy as it sounds,

589
00:44:10,395 --> 00:44:13,755
Speaker 1: many of them are special needs. Sounds crazy until you

590
00:44:13,795 --> 00:44:16,995
Speaker 1: picture them, and then it sounds heartbreaking. Anyway we can help.

591
00:44:17,075 --> 00:44:19,995
Speaker 1: They have a fundraiser on cuddly dot com. I'll tweet

592
00:44:20,035 --> 00:44:22,155
Speaker 1: out the link, or just go to cuddly dot com

593
00:44:22,155 --> 00:44:25,155
Speaker 1: and type National Boxer in the search bar. The chickens,

594
00:44:25,195 --> 00:44:28,275
Speaker 1: thank you, the Silky Chickens, thank you, the nine dogs,

595
00:44:28,275 --> 00:44:36,395
Speaker 1: thank you, and I thank you to the number one

596
00:44:36,475 --> 00:44:38,875
Speaker 1: story on the Countdown. And It's Fridays with Thurber and

597
00:44:38,995 --> 00:44:42,675
Speaker 1: a lot of his work details the fundamental clash between people,

598
00:44:43,275 --> 00:44:48,195
Speaker 1: husband and wife, he and various relatives, a guy and

599
00:44:48,235 --> 00:44:51,915
Speaker 1: a bed, and a seal, two animals representing any two

600
00:44:52,075 --> 00:44:55,675
Speaker 1: humans in conflict. But some of the most magical writing

601
00:44:56,155 --> 00:44:59,355
Speaker 1: is the stuff that is just about one person alone

602
00:45:00,155 --> 00:45:04,155
Speaker 1: against life. One of his stories ends with a great

603
00:45:04,155 --> 00:45:07,675
Speaker 1: grandmother struggling with a butter churn and screaming into the void.

604
00:45:08,355 --> 00:45:11,195
Speaker 1: Why doesn't somebody take this goddamn thing away from me,

605
00:45:11,955 --> 00:45:13,675
Speaker 1: a line which I think could be the start of

606
00:45:13,675 --> 00:45:18,515
Speaker 1: a national anthem somewhere. Such a story is Nine Needles

607
00:45:18,595 --> 00:45:21,035
Speaker 1: this week's selection. As you will see, it is a

608
00:45:21,075 --> 00:45:23,875
Speaker 1: little short for our usual time frames here, so I'll

609
00:45:23,875 --> 00:45:27,355
Speaker 1: give you a bonus another man versus life story afterwards,

610
00:45:27,595 --> 00:45:30,435
Speaker 1: in the form of one of Thurber's fables for our time,

611
00:45:30,675 --> 00:45:34,435
Speaker 1: the mouse who went to the country. But first, it's

612
00:45:34,515 --> 00:45:37,755
Speaker 1: unlikely this event has ever happened to you, but the

613
00:45:37,835 --> 00:45:45,275
Speaker 1: anxiety that should be immediately familiar. Nine Needles by James Thurber.

614
00:45:46,875 --> 00:45:49,915
Speaker 1: One of the more spectacular minor happenings of the past

615
00:45:49,955 --> 00:45:52,915
Speaker 1: few years, which I am sorry that I missed, took

616
00:45:52,955 --> 00:45:55,515
Speaker 1: place in the Columbus, Ohio home of some friends of

617
00:45:55,515 --> 00:45:59,475
Speaker 1: a friend of mine. It seems that a mister Albatross,

618
00:46:00,195 --> 00:46:02,755
Speaker 1: while looking for something in his medicine cabinet one morning,

619
00:46:02,995 --> 00:46:06,075
Speaker 1: discovered a bottle of a kind of patent medicine which

620
00:46:06,115 --> 00:46:08,715
Speaker 1: his wife had been taking for a stomach ailment. Now,

621
00:46:08,755 --> 00:46:13,195
Speaker 1: mister Albatross is one of those apprehensive men who are

622
00:46:13,235 --> 00:46:17,515
Speaker 1: afraid of patent medicines and of almost everything else. Some

623
00:46:17,715 --> 00:46:20,595
Speaker 1: weeks before he had encountered a paragraph in a consumer's

624
00:46:20,635 --> 00:46:24,355
Speaker 1: research bulletin which announced that this particular medicine was bad

625
00:46:24,435 --> 00:46:27,475
Speaker 1: for you. He had thereupon ordered his wife to throw

626
00:46:27,515 --> 00:46:29,635
Speaker 1: out what was left of her supply of the stuff

627
00:46:29,875 --> 00:46:33,555
Speaker 1: and never buy any more she had promised, And here

628
00:46:33,635 --> 00:46:38,595
Speaker 1: now was another bottle of the perilous liquid. Mister Albatross,

629
00:46:38,595 --> 00:46:41,995
Speaker 1: A man given to quick rages, shouted the conclusion of

630
00:46:42,035 --> 00:46:45,275
Speaker 1: the story at my friend. I threw the bottle out

631
00:46:45,315 --> 00:46:51,195
Speaker 1: the bathroom window, and the medicine chest after it. It

632
00:46:51,275 --> 00:46:53,955
Speaker 1: seems to me that must have been a spectacle worth

633
00:46:54,035 --> 00:46:58,755
Speaker 1: going a long way to see. I am sure that

634
00:46:58,795 --> 00:47:01,595
Speaker 1: many a husband has wanted to wrench the family medicine

635
00:47:01,595 --> 00:47:03,995
Speaker 1: cabinet off the wall and throw it out the window,

636
00:47:04,875 --> 00:47:08,155
Speaker 1: because the average medicine cabinet is so filled with mysterious

637
00:47:08,195 --> 00:47:13,275
Speaker 1: bottles and unidentifiable objects of all kinds, that it is

638
00:47:13,315 --> 00:47:18,875
Speaker 1: a source of constant bewilderment and exasperation to the American male. Surely,

639
00:47:18,955 --> 00:47:22,675
Speaker 1: the British medicine cabinet, and the French medicine cabinet, all

640
00:47:22,675 --> 00:47:26,275
Speaker 1: the other medicine cabinets must be simpler and better ordered

641
00:47:26,315 --> 00:47:29,355
Speaker 1: than ours. It may be that the American habit of

642
00:47:29,675 --> 00:47:35,435
Speaker 1: saving everything and never throwing anything away, even empty bottles,

643
00:47:35,435 --> 00:47:38,635
Speaker 1: causes the domestic medicine cabinet to become as cluttered in

644
00:47:38,675 --> 00:47:42,395
Speaker 1: its small way as the American attic becomes cluttered in

645
00:47:42,475 --> 00:47:46,755
Speaker 1: its major way. I have encountered few medicine cabinets in

646
00:47:46,795 --> 00:47:49,795
Speaker 1: this country which were not packed jammed with something between

647
00:47:49,795 --> 00:47:53,755
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty and two hundred different items, from

648
00:47:53,875 --> 00:47:59,915
Speaker 1: dental floss to boracic acid, from razor blades to sodium perborate,

649
00:48:00,355 --> 00:48:06,035
Speaker 1: from adhesive tape to coconut oil. The neatest wife will

650
00:48:06,075 --> 00:48:08,875
Speaker 1: put off clearing out the medicine cabinet on the ground

651
00:48:09,075 --> 00:48:10,835
Speaker 1: that she has something else to do that is more

652
00:48:10,875 --> 00:48:14,555
Speaker 1: important at that moment, or more diverting. It was in

653
00:48:14,595 --> 00:48:16,675
Speaker 1: the apartment of such a wife and her husband that

654
00:48:16,755 --> 00:48:20,675
Speaker 1: I became enormously involved with a medicine cabinet. One morning

655
00:48:20,715 --> 00:48:24,715
Speaker 1: not long ago. I had spent the weekend with this couple.

656
00:48:24,835 --> 00:48:28,395
Speaker 1: They live on East tenth Street near Fifth Avenue. Such

657
00:48:28,475 --> 00:48:32,195
Speaker 1: a weekend as left me reluctant to rise up on

658
00:48:32,355 --> 00:48:36,155
Speaker 1: Monday morning with bright and shining face and go to work.

659
00:48:37,035 --> 00:48:39,915
Speaker 1: They got up and went to work, but I didn't.

660
00:48:40,675 --> 00:48:43,955
Speaker 1: I didn't get up until about to two thirty in

661
00:48:43,995 --> 00:48:47,515
Speaker 1: the afternoon. I had my face all lathered for shaving,

662
00:48:47,515 --> 00:48:49,555
Speaker 1: and the wash bowl was full of hot water, when

663
00:48:49,635 --> 00:48:52,995
Speaker 1: suddenly I cut myself with the razor. I cut my ear.

664
00:48:54,195 --> 00:48:57,315
Speaker 1: Very few men cut their ears with razors, but I do,

665
00:48:57,795 --> 00:49:01,115
Speaker 1: possibly because I was taught the old Spencerian free risk

666
00:49:01,235 --> 00:49:04,795
Speaker 1: movements by my writing teacher in the grammar grades. The

667
00:49:04,875 --> 00:49:09,115
Speaker 1: ear bleeds rather profusely when cut with a razor, and

668
00:49:09,275 --> 00:49:12,555
Speaker 1: is difficult to get at. More angry than hurt, I

669
00:49:12,795 --> 00:49:14,875
Speaker 1: jerked open the door of the medicine cabinet to see

670
00:49:14,875 --> 00:49:17,155
Speaker 1: if I could find a stiptick pencil, and out fell

671
00:49:17,635 --> 00:49:22,355
Speaker 1: from the top shelf a little black paper packet containing

672
00:49:22,515 --> 00:49:26,675
Speaker 1: nine needles. It seems that his wife kept a little

673
00:49:26,715 --> 00:49:29,355
Speaker 1: paper packet containing nine needles on the top shelf of

674
00:49:29,395 --> 00:49:33,235
Speaker 1: the medicine cabinet. The packet fell into the soapy water

675
00:49:33,315 --> 00:49:36,635
Speaker 1: of the wash bowl, where the paper rapidly disintegrated, leaving

676
00:49:36,795 --> 00:49:41,555
Speaker 1: nine needles at large in the bowl. I was, naturally enough,

677
00:49:42,195 --> 00:49:46,675
Speaker 1: not in the best condition, either physical or mental, to

678
00:49:46,835 --> 00:49:51,235
Speaker 1: recover nine needles from a wash bowl. No gentleman who

679
00:49:51,275 --> 00:49:53,475
Speaker 1: has lather on his face and whose ear is bleeding

680
00:49:53,715 --> 00:49:56,595
Speaker 1: is in the best condition for anything, even something involving

681
00:49:56,635 --> 00:50:02,035
Speaker 1: the handling of nine large blunt objects. It did not

682
00:50:02,155 --> 00:50:04,755
Speaker 1: seem wise to me to pull the plug out of

683
00:50:04,755 --> 00:50:07,275
Speaker 1: the wash bowl and let the needles go down the drain.

684
00:50:08,195 --> 00:50:10,555
Speaker 1: I had visions of clogging up the plumbing system of

685
00:50:10,555 --> 00:50:14,875
Speaker 1: the house, and also a vague fear of causing short

686
00:50:15,075 --> 00:50:19,955
Speaker 1: circuits somehow or other. I know very little about electricity,

687
00:50:20,035 --> 00:50:23,795
Speaker 1: and I don't want to have it explained to me. Finally,

688
00:50:23,835 --> 00:50:26,715
Speaker 1: I groped very gently around the bowl, and eventually had

689
00:50:26,795 --> 00:50:28,955
Speaker 1: four of the needles in the palm of one hand

690
00:50:29,315 --> 00:50:33,435
Speaker 1: and three in the palm of the other. Two I

691
00:50:33,475 --> 00:50:37,275
Speaker 1: couldn't find. If I had thought quickly and clearly, I

692
00:50:37,275 --> 00:50:41,275
Speaker 1: wouldn't have done that. A lathered man whose ear is bleeding,

693
00:50:41,315 --> 00:50:43,315
Speaker 1: and who has four wet needles in one hand and

694
00:50:43,315 --> 00:50:45,075
Speaker 1: three in the other may be said to have reached

695
00:50:45,115 --> 00:50:50,115
Speaker 1: the lowest known point of human efficiency. There is nothing

696
00:50:50,155 --> 00:50:55,035
Speaker 1: he can do but stand there. I tried transferring the

697
00:50:55,035 --> 00:50:56,955
Speaker 1: needles in my left hand to the palm of my

698
00:50:57,035 --> 00:50:59,155
Speaker 1: right hand, but I couldn't get the off my left hand.

699
00:50:59,315 --> 00:51:05,475
Speaker 1: Wet needles cling to you. In the end, I wiped

700
00:51:05,515 --> 00:51:08,795
Speaker 1: the needles off onto a bath towel, which was hanging

701
00:51:08,835 --> 00:51:11,155
Speaker 1: on a rod above the bath tub. It was the

702
00:51:11,235 --> 00:51:13,435
Speaker 1: only towel that I could find. I had to dry

703
00:51:13,475 --> 00:51:16,795
Speaker 1: my hands afterward on the bath mat. Then I tried

704
00:51:16,835 --> 00:51:20,835
Speaker 1: to find the needles in the towel. Hunting for seven

705
00:51:20,875 --> 00:51:23,755
Speaker 1: needles in a bath towel is the most tedious occupation

706
00:51:23,835 --> 00:51:26,595
Speaker 1: I have ever engaged in. I could find only five

707
00:51:26,635 --> 00:51:28,995
Speaker 1: of them with the two that had been left in

708
00:51:29,035 --> 00:51:31,915
Speaker 1: the bowl. That meant there were four needles in all,

709
00:51:32,195 --> 00:51:36,195
Speaker 1: missing two in the wash bowl and two others lurking

710
00:51:36,275 --> 00:51:40,075
Speaker 1: in the towel or lying in the bathtub under the towel.

711
00:51:41,435 --> 00:51:43,795
Speaker 1: Frightful thoughts came to me of what might happen to

712
00:51:43,835 --> 00:51:46,515
Speaker 1: anyone who used that towel, or washed his face in

713
00:51:46,555 --> 00:51:49,355
Speaker 1: the bowl, or got into the tub if I didn't

714
00:51:49,395 --> 00:51:55,555
Speaker 1: find the missing needles. Well, I didn't find them. I

715
00:51:55,635 --> 00:51:57,635
Speaker 1: sat down on the edge of the tub to think,

716
00:51:57,675 --> 00:51:59,635
Speaker 1: and I decided finally that the only thing to do

717
00:51:59,755 --> 00:52:02,355
Speaker 1: was to wrap up the towel in a newspaper and

718
00:52:02,475 --> 00:52:05,955
Speaker 1: take it away with me. I also decided to leave

719
00:52:05,995 --> 00:52:08,475
Speaker 1: a note for my friends, explaining as clearly as I

720
00:52:08,515 --> 00:52:11,315
Speaker 1: could that I was afraid there were two needles in

721
00:52:11,355 --> 00:52:14,115
Speaker 1: the bathtub and two needles in the wash bowl, and

722
00:52:14,155 --> 00:52:19,835
Speaker 1: that they better be careful. I looked everywhere in the apartment,

723
00:52:19,875 --> 00:52:22,195
Speaker 1: but I could not find a pencil, or a pen

724
00:52:22,875 --> 00:52:25,635
Speaker 1: or a typewriter. I could find pieces of paper, but

725
00:52:25,755 --> 00:52:29,115
Speaker 1: nothing with which to write on them. I don't know

726
00:52:29,155 --> 00:52:32,595
Speaker 1: what gave me the idea. A movie I had seen, perhaps,

727
00:52:32,675 --> 00:52:35,155
Speaker 1: or a story I had read. But I suddenly thought

728
00:52:35,195 --> 00:52:39,555
Speaker 1: of writing a message with lipstick. The wife might have

729
00:52:39,595 --> 00:52:42,355
Speaker 1: an extra lipstick lying around, and if so, I concluded

730
00:52:42,555 --> 00:52:46,755
Speaker 1: it would be in the medicine cabinet. I went back

731
00:52:46,755 --> 00:52:49,195
Speaker 1: to the medicine cabinet and began poking around in it

732
00:52:49,275 --> 00:52:52,475
Speaker 1: for a lipstick. I saw what I thought looked like

733
00:52:52,555 --> 00:52:54,635
Speaker 1: the metal tip of one, and I got two fingers

734
00:52:54,635 --> 00:52:56,875
Speaker 1: around it and began to pull gently. It was under

735
00:52:56,915 --> 00:53:00,875
Speaker 1: a lot of things. Every object in the medicine cabinet

736
00:53:00,915 --> 00:53:04,435
Speaker 1: began to slide. Bottles broke in the washbowl and on

737
00:53:04,475 --> 00:53:09,835
Speaker 1: the floor, red, brown, and white liquids, spurted, nail files, scissors,

738
00:53:09,955 --> 00:53:14,515
Speaker 1: razor blades, and miscellaneous objects sang and clattered and tinkled.

739
00:53:15,195 --> 00:53:22,555
Speaker 1: I was covered with perfume, peroxide, and cold cream. It

740
00:53:22,635 --> 00:53:25,555
Speaker 1: took me half an hour to get all the debris

741
00:53:25,595 --> 00:53:29,195
Speaker 1: all together in the middle of the bathroom floor. I

742
00:53:29,315 --> 00:53:32,595
Speaker 1: made no attempt to put anything back in the medicine cabinet.

743
00:53:33,275 --> 00:53:35,755
Speaker 1: I knew it would take a steadier hand than mine

744
00:53:35,795 --> 00:53:41,275
Speaker 1: and a less shattered spirit. Before I went away, only

745
00:53:41,355 --> 00:53:45,395
Speaker 1: partly shaved and abandoned the shambles. I left a note

746
00:53:45,395 --> 00:53:47,075
Speaker 1: saying that I was afraid there were needles in the

747
00:53:47,115 --> 00:53:49,915
Speaker 1: bathtub and the washbowl, and that I had taken their towel,

748
00:53:50,155 --> 00:53:51,995
Speaker 1: and that I would call up and tell them everything.

749
00:53:52,115 --> 00:53:55,155
Speaker 1: I wrote it in iodine with the end of a toothbrush.

750
00:53:57,395 --> 00:54:00,035
Speaker 1: I have not yet called up. I'm sorry to say.

751
00:54:00,595 --> 00:54:02,875
Speaker 1: I have neither found the courage nor thought up the

752
00:54:02,915 --> 00:54:06,475
Speaker 1: words to explain what happened. I suppose my friends believe

753
00:54:07,115 --> 00:54:10,715
Speaker 1: that I deliberately smashed up their bathroom and stole their towel.

754
00:54:12,235 --> 00:54:15,235
Speaker 1: I don't know for sure, because they have not yet

755
00:54:15,275 --> 00:54:23,395
Speaker 1: called me up either. Nine Needles by James Thurber, and

756
00:54:23,435 --> 00:54:28,595
Speaker 1: as I suggested in a broad sense on the same

757
00:54:28,675 --> 00:54:33,715
Speaker 1: subject from his Fables for Our Time and famous poems

758
00:54:33,795 --> 00:54:38,675
Speaker 1: illustrated The Mouse who Went to the Country by James Thurber,

759
00:54:40,955 --> 00:54:43,835
Speaker 1: Once upon a Sunday there was a city mouse who

760
00:54:43,875 --> 00:54:46,475
Speaker 1: went to visit a country mouse. He hid away on

761
00:54:46,555 --> 00:54:48,515
Speaker 1: a train the country mouse had told him to take,

762
00:54:48,915 --> 00:54:51,595
Speaker 1: only to find that on Sundays it did not stop

763
00:54:51,635 --> 00:54:55,355
Speaker 1: at Beddington. Hence the city mouse could not get off

764
00:54:55,395 --> 00:54:59,115
Speaker 1: at Beddington and catch a bus for Cybert's Junction, where

765
00:54:59,115 --> 00:55:01,715
Speaker 1: he was to be met by the country mouse. The

766
00:55:01,755 --> 00:55:04,355
Speaker 1: city mouse, in fact, was carried on to Middleburg, where

767
00:55:04,395 --> 00:55:06,675
Speaker 1: he weigh three hours for a train to take him back.

768
00:55:07,395 --> 00:55:09,635
Speaker 1: When he got back to Beddington, he found out that

769
00:55:09,675 --> 00:55:13,555
Speaker 1: the last bus for Siebert's Junction had just left, so

770
00:55:13,635 --> 00:55:16,035
Speaker 1: he ran, and he ran, and he ran, and he

771
00:55:16,115 --> 00:55:18,915
Speaker 1: finally caught the bus and crept aboard, only to find

772
00:55:18,915 --> 00:55:20,995
Speaker 1: that it was not the bus for Seebert's Junction at all,

773
00:55:21,315 --> 00:55:24,675
Speaker 1: but was going in the opposite direction through Pells Hollow

774
00:55:24,955 --> 00:55:28,955
Speaker 1: and Grum to a place called Wimberbee. When the bus

775
00:55:28,995 --> 00:55:31,275
Speaker 1: finally stopped, the city mouse got out into a heavy

776
00:55:31,355 --> 00:55:33,675
Speaker 1: rain and found that there were no more buses that

777
00:55:33,835 --> 00:55:38,675
Speaker 1: night going anywhere. To the hell with it, said the

778
00:55:38,675 --> 00:55:42,115
Speaker 1: city mouse, and he walked back to the city moral

779
00:55:43,155 --> 00:55:48,755
Speaker 1: Stay where you are, you're sitting pretty. The mouse who

780
00:55:48,795 --> 00:56:05,275
Speaker 1: went to the Country by James Thurber all the damage

781
00:56:05,275 --> 00:56:07,035
Speaker 1: I can do here. Thank you for listening. Do me

782
00:56:07,155 --> 00:56:10,755
Speaker 1: a solid and tell everybody who doesn't listen to to listen.

783
00:56:11,155 --> 00:56:14,155
Speaker 1: In fact, post it on your Facebook wall. I'm not

784
00:56:14,275 --> 00:56:16,435
Speaker 1: on Facebook. I think that's part of the issue here.

785
00:56:16,715 --> 00:56:19,035
Speaker 1: Countdown has come to you from the Vin Scully Studios

786
00:56:19,035 --> 00:56:23,115
Speaker 1: at the Olderman Broadcasting Empire in New York. There's a

787
00:56:23,235 --> 00:56:25,355
Speaker 1: video that I do every night promoting this thing. You

788
00:56:25,355 --> 00:56:28,595
Speaker 1: could put that on your wall. Put that on your wall.

789
00:56:28,835 --> 00:56:32,515
Speaker 1: Countdown musical directors Brian Ray and John Phillips Chanel arranged, produced,

790
00:56:32,515 --> 00:56:36,155
Speaker 1: and performed most of our music. Mister Shanelle handled orchestration

791
00:56:36,235 --> 00:56:39,555
Speaker 1: and keyboards. Mister Ray was on guitars, bass and drums,

792
00:56:39,595 --> 00:56:42,515
Speaker 1: and it was produced by Tko Brothers. Other music, including

793
00:56:42,555 --> 00:56:45,635
Speaker 1: some of the Beethoven compositions, arranged and performed by the

794
00:56:45,675 --> 00:56:49,755
Speaker 1: group No Horns Allowed. The sports music is courtesy ESPN, Inc.

795
00:56:50,035 --> 00:56:51,995
Speaker 1: It was written by Mitch Warren Davis. We call it

796
00:56:52,035 --> 00:56:55,875
Speaker 1: the Olberman theme from ESPN two. Our satirical and pithy

797
00:56:55,955 --> 00:56:59,195
Speaker 1: musical comments are by Nancy Faust, the best baseball stadium

798
00:56:59,235 --> 00:57:02,475
Speaker 1: organist ever. Our announcer today was my friend Stevie van Zant.

799
00:57:02,795 --> 00:57:06,315
Speaker 1: Everything else was pretty much my that's countdown for this,

800
00:57:06,355 --> 00:57:09,395
Speaker 1: the one thousand and seventy fourth day since dementia j

801
00:57:09,515 --> 00:57:12,915
Speaker 1: Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected government of

802
00:57:12,915 --> 00:57:16,915
Speaker 1: the United States. Use the Insurrection Act against him and

803
00:57:17,075 --> 00:57:21,635
Speaker 1: them while we still can. The next scheduled countdown is Tuesday.

804
00:57:21,715 --> 00:57:24,355
Speaker 1: Bulletins as the news warrant till then, I'm Keith Olderman.

805
00:57:24,555 --> 00:57:45,075
Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck. Countdown with

806
00:57:45,195 --> 00:57:49,475
Speaker 1: Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts

807
00:57:49,515 --> 00:57:54,275
Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

808
00:57:54,315 --> 00:57:55,675
Speaker 1: you get your podcasts.