1 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: It's not that scrubbing in with that, Tilly and Tanya 2 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: rad and iHeartRadio and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast. 3 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:25,520 Speaker 2: Hello everyone, We're scrubbing and oh wait, hello everyone, we 4 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 2: are scrubbing it. 5 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,279 Speaker 3: Just take you just take. I give you half the 6 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 3: line and then you just take the whole line. 7 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 1: I know, so give it. Give a mouse a little cheese, 8 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 1: the whole brick. 9 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:47,880 Speaker 3: About the bus, struggle bus, It's a new day. 10 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:57,280 Speaker 1: The podcast, am I Being punked Your face was so fun. 11 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: It's not often that Becca comes. 12 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 4: It's very musical, very musical this week. 13 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: And yaws, you want to share? 14 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. 15 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: Well okay, so take the stars by the way. 16 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,200 Speaker 3: Okay, I was about to say, so we I've been 17 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 3: wanting to learn that dance so bad, but in my 18 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 3: mind dance that one that we did, the one that 19 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 3: you posted. Yeah, there's not many like you know here 20 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 3: and there. I'll try to learn. But I was so 21 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 3: obsessed with the dance, and I kept sending it to Haley, 22 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 3: like do you think I can learn this? Because she 23 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 3: knows my skill level, you know, And she's like, yeah, 24 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,480 Speaker 3: I think so. She watches the tutorial and she learns it. 25 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 3: In literally like five minutes. She's like, Okay, got it, 26 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,399 Speaker 3: so this and then she's able to teach me. It 27 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 3: takes me a little bit longer. But what I've realized 28 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 3: is I'm coordinated enough and like have enough rhythm memory 29 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 3: and enough rhythm and learn the dance. 30 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 1: I feel like your body kind of like moves in 31 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: like the way that a dancer does. 32 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 3: No, So that's what I was gonna say. I don't 33 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 3: have like the swag of the dancer. I really don't. Yeah, 34 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 3: you know, if you watch me and Haley us both, 35 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 3: you can you can see the difference. Though there's just me. 36 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: In there those videos with the two of you, you 37 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: would see the difference between Okay, the nom swagger and 38 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 1: the swagger. 39 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:15,079 Speaker 3: But it's so fun to learn. Oh it's so fun 40 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,360 Speaker 3: to dance. But it's also so fun to learn and 41 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,960 Speaker 3: dance with her because she's very she's when she's in 42 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:24,920 Speaker 3: coach mode teaching me, she's like very coach. She's like 43 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 3: a coach to me. And then I'm like what am 44 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 3: I doing wrong? And she's like, let's watch it back. 45 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 4: Did she do the like five? Six, seven eight? 46 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 3: Always tries to go okay, do you hear this beat, 47 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 3: boom boom, and then she'll do the dance math. But 48 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 3: I'm like, Babe, I don't That's not how I learn. 49 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,919 Speaker 3: So I just need to see it with the music 50 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,240 Speaker 3: and then that's how I'm gonna pick it up. 51 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 1: I find dancing so hard. I don't have rhythm, I 52 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:51,119 Speaker 1: don't have swagger like and I my parents never had 53 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,240 Speaker 1: me in any sort of dance classes, and I really 54 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,840 Speaker 1: regret that as a child, not like pushing to be 55 00:02:56,919 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: in any sort of like dance because I feel like 56 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: I have the rhythm in me. 57 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 3: I think you have rhythm. I think you I think 58 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 3: that you get overwhelmed with learning the dance. But I 59 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 3: think if you just like locked in, I think you 60 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,639 Speaker 3: have the rhythm to learn to dance. If not, now, 61 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 3: when why not take some dance classes? 62 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 5: Me? 63 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 3: We could go take howl would that be? Go take 64 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 3: some you know the studios where they film on like 65 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 3: the cool VIDEOSHM Millennial. 66 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 1: Or Millennial Dance studio. 67 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:32,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, but yeah, it's really fun. I love music and 68 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 3: I love dancing. I'm just like, it's not a natural 69 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 3: thing for me. I did do cheer in fifth grade, 70 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,800 Speaker 3: so that probably just set me up for success. Wow, 71 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 3: any of that foundation. 72 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 1: You know how like people say like when they have kids, 73 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: they like they do all the stuff that they wish 74 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: that they had when they were a kid. If I 75 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: end up having a girl dance, they're going to be 76 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 1: in ballet, hip hop, like ballroom, you name it, they're 77 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 1: going to be in it. 78 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 3: Well, we went to Haley's. Her niece is did dance 79 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 3: and she had her like recital or whatever, and she 80 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 3: was in Hers was hip hop. But the whole thing 81 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,880 Speaker 3: was like a two hour thing and it was like 82 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 3: kids from three and four to you know, high school. 83 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 3: It's a long, long performance. Yeah, but you know you 84 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,279 Speaker 3: see the stars, like you can say you can be 85 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 3: like that one's gonna pursue this, that could pursue this 86 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,359 Speaker 3: as a long term career. And I would say majority 87 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:30,160 Speaker 3: are just there for the fun and learning and dancing vibes. 88 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,960 Speaker 1: I was listening to this podcast though, and they were 89 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:38,719 Speaker 1: talking about how they prefer to have children that aren't 90 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:43,000 Speaker 1: that don't like excel in those types of things, because 91 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: then they like they know how to experience like not 92 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 1: being so good. You know, like there's like some people 93 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:51,280 Speaker 1: that are just like naturally just like good at everything 94 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: and then they kind of have this like false sense 95 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: of reality because they're just so good at everything, and 96 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 1: then they enter the real world and they're like, oh wait, 97 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 1: I'm actually not really good at everything. Yeah, how it's 98 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 1: like better or like you you you gain like grit 99 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,920 Speaker 1: and you learn adversity by like not being good at 100 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 1: things as a kid. 101 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 3: I think that's true. 102 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,920 Speaker 1: I do so to get horrible at everything I wasn't. 103 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 3: But do you know what happened is that when I 104 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 3: try something that I'm not good at now, I don't 105 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,240 Speaker 3: want to do it. I don't want to have to learn. 106 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,719 Speaker 3: So it's easier for me to just not do things 107 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 3: that I don't feel comment doing, which I think holds 108 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 3: me back a lot of the time. So I do 109 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,680 Speaker 3: think there's something to that. But I also think you 110 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,360 Speaker 3: you learn quickly if you're surrounded by people who are 111 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 3: good at things if you're not, Like I can tell when, 112 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:39,479 Speaker 3: like even I'm self aware enough with Haley to know 113 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,360 Speaker 3: that I am not good. I'm good enough to do 114 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,400 Speaker 3: a TikTok dance, but I'm not going to try and 115 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 3: be a touring dancer. 116 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: You know, she made you a backup dancers. She wouldn't 117 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:53,960 Speaker 1: I would ever. 118 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,800 Speaker 3: No, No, it's so intense and hard. 119 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 1: But maybe not like a full on backup dancer. 120 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 3: But it just come out for one performance where I yeah. 121 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,919 Speaker 1: Like you're on tour, you're part of the tour. 122 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 3: I just do like a compilation of the TikTok dances 123 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 3: we've learned together. 124 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:11,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, or like she has that like what's the moment 125 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 1: where it was it one less lonely girl justin bib moment? Yeah, 126 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,039 Speaker 1: but it's like you every time. 127 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,279 Speaker 3: One time she had a song called pretty Girl, and 128 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,160 Speaker 3: she would bring up a fan and saying I got 129 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 3: to do it one time in London. 130 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,360 Speaker 1: Anyways. Good for thought, Good for thought. 131 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,280 Speaker 3: But I was gonna say something about oh, just as 132 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:34,159 Speaker 3: just total shift. So you post it today you have 133 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 3: a new hyper fixation breakfast. I don't know if you 134 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 3: saw this. 135 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:38,839 Speaker 6: I've not seen this yet. 136 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 3: And there's a picture of said breakfast. Yeah, and in 137 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 3: my mind I thought, those are those just three fried 138 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:52,840 Speaker 3: eggs like that like a very standard breakfast for most people, right, 139 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,160 Speaker 3: which is like three bright eggs, And I go, maybe 140 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 3: there's something new that has them being a fixation. 141 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,200 Speaker 1: Fixation have to be new. 142 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 3: I just I thought you ate eggs every day. 143 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 6: So I sat very funny, three regular looking fried eggs. 144 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 2: I'm sorryalted pepper, Yeah, deliciously salted and deliciously peppered. 145 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 1: And somehow Robbie makes them to where they're like they're 146 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 1: like a little bit gooey on the inside, but like 147 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 1: not too runny, Like they're very cooked, but like just 148 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:28,559 Speaker 1: the right amount of gooey. 149 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 4: An over easy egg. 150 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 1: I had this aversion to scrambled eggs, and I was like, 151 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 1: I cannot eat another scrambled egg. I just can't do it. 152 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 1: And Robbie's like, let me try making you a different way. 153 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 3: I was like, over medium, this is what they look like. 154 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:45,520 Speaker 1: Is that what that is? I think it is delicious 155 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: when I tell you I had it for the first 156 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:48,680 Speaker 1: time two days ago, and I was like, can you 157 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 1: make me this every day for the rest of my life? 158 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 3: It is? So that was your first time having a 159 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 3: Friday like an over medium egg. 160 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,120 Speaker 1: Usually have them scrambled or hard boiled. 161 00:07:58,880 --> 00:07:59,240 Speaker 4: Wow. 162 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 3: Yes, I think we pitched the suggestion when you said 163 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 3: you were having the egg ache, like, maybe try a 164 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 3: different form. 165 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, well I did. Spoiler alert, and it is good. 166 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 1: It's so good, and. 167 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 3: I am welcome to the new this new journey. 168 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm really happy with it. I'm really happy with it. 169 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 3: I you know, what I've been really into is like 170 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 3: scrambled eggs but with like we order fresh bread from 171 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:31,440 Speaker 3: this bakery and it's this honey wheat toast with the 172 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:35,480 Speaker 3: egg on top of it. Buttered toast with eggs on top. 173 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 3: So good. Anyways, we have a Dear Bondia episode. So 174 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 3: is out he is on Baca, So he is. I 175 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 3: ever wanted. 176 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 1: Vacation? All I ever wanted. 177 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 4: Vacation had to get away. 178 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: You don't know that song, I don't think so what 179 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 1: is the go gos or yeah, googles? 180 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,600 Speaker 3: The tone they. 181 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 4: Already nineteen eighty two so called vacation. 182 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:12,200 Speaker 3: Oh, speaking of before we begin, Dear Bonnya, I've been 183 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 3: seeing all this stuff about we were liars being like 184 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 3: super emotional and like good. Yeah, so I'm ready to 185 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:19,600 Speaker 3: beinge it. 186 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 1: That might be my next bin. 187 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:25,080 Speaker 3: Yeah. Same watch our girl Candae, Yeah, gotta support well 188 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:26,560 Speaker 3: watch it, Dear Bonnya. 189 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:30,080 Speaker 6: Let's go, here we go. This is from Charlotte High 190 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 6: Scrubbing and FAM. I'm so thankful for this podcast in community. 191 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,720 Speaker 6: I've been a fan of Becca since her bachelor days, 192 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 6: and I'm so happy to now know Tanya Mark Easton. 193 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 6: Thank you and the rest of the scrubbers. You've kept 194 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 6: me company on so many cross country flights, laughing out 195 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 6: loud on planes and in cars. I'm writing because I'm 196 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 6: pretty sure my boyfriend of over a decade just picked 197 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 6: up my engagement ring yesterday. Yes, I checked his location. 198 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:51,960 Speaker 4: I'm a Tanya. 199 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 6: I'm so excited to start this next chapter. Here's my dilemma. 200 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,720 Speaker 6: I have a friend, Carrie, who I've known since we 201 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 6: were teens. We've all been friendly, though I think she 202 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 6: felt closer to me than I did to her. Back 203 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,559 Speaker 6: in twenty twenty one, I was one of three maids 204 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 6: of honor in her wedding, alongside her other friend Samantha. 205 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 6: But since then life and distance got in the way. 206 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,440 Speaker 6: We haven't seen each other in almost two years, and 207 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 6: we barely text, just occasional likes and replies on social media. 208 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 6: I know she'll expect a text when it happens, maybe 209 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,080 Speaker 6: even a wedding or bridesmaid invite, but honestly, I don't 210 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,880 Speaker 6: think i'd even invite her, her husband, or other friend 211 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 6: Samantha to the wedding at this point, it feels like 212 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:31,080 Speaker 6: we're basically strangers now, and I'm feeling some guilt about that. 213 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 4: So I need help. 214 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 6: Do I send Carrie and Samantha a group text with 215 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,960 Speaker 6: an engagement pick? Or let them find out with everyone 216 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 6: else on social media? How do I handle my messages 217 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 6: about the wedding knowing they probably won't be invited? Thank 218 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,680 Speaker 6: you for the advice, love and support, XO, Charlotte. 219 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 4: PS. 220 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 6: The names were inspired by in just like That's return 221 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 6: in honor of Easton. Thank you so much, Charlotte. 222 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,800 Speaker 1: I was like, well these names, Yeah, yeah, I was like, 223 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:57,439 Speaker 1: that's weirdh where's Miranda weird? I watched a lot of 224 00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 1: Sex in the City on my fight home by the way, Yeah, 225 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:01,959 Speaker 1: seven episodes to be exact. 226 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 4: One what season four? Nice? 227 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's pretty iconic. 228 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:08,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, always good. 229 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 3: My instant gut was like, just let them find out 230 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:19,560 Speaker 3: on social media. 231 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 1: Because of one word she used? What guilt? So do 232 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: anything because of guilt? No crew guilt. We're done with it. 233 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,960 Speaker 3: Also, twenty twenty one was four years ago. If you 234 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 3: haven't had any deep conversations or connections in four years on, 235 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,079 Speaker 3: if they haven't initiated it, or if you haven't initiated it, 236 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,680 Speaker 3: then you don't owe them anything celebrating one of the 237 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 3: most exciting points of your life. 238 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 1: I think also too, I think there is this like 239 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,080 Speaker 1: expectation of like I was a bridesmaider, I was a 240 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 1: maid of honor of her wedding, so she needs to 241 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 1: come to mine was made I was in weddings ten 242 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 1: years ago, five years ago, and I didn't invite any 243 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 1: of them to my wedding because none of them had 244 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:59,319 Speaker 1: even met Robbie. Yeah, And so it's like, you can't 245 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,160 Speaker 1: have that be like the caliber of like I was 246 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,839 Speaker 1: in their wedding or I was this because things change 247 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 1: and you can't. It shouldn't be a guilt thing. If 248 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 1: you're texting anybody to tell them that you're engaged, should 249 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: because you want to tell them and you're excited to 250 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,640 Speaker 1: tell them, not because you feel this like need or pressure. 251 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 3: And it also should be people that have known you 252 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 3: and your relationship. I feel like people who have been there, 253 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,440 Speaker 3: been with you and yeah, and know about your relationship 254 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 3: with your fiance, and like, I think you post something 255 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 3: and if they're like, oh my, they're probably going to 256 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:32,320 Speaker 3: respond and text you. They'll probably text you, maybe and 257 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 3: then you can maybe send them close up photos of 258 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,680 Speaker 3: the ring whatever you want to do. But I don't 259 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:40,640 Speaker 3: think you owe them anything if you don't feel inspired 260 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:41,120 Speaker 3: to do so. 261 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm done with guilt. 262 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 3: Follow inspiration, not not guilt. 263 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:46,880 Speaker 6: Amen. 264 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,440 Speaker 1: Guilt has been like a very interesting theme in my 265 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 1: family lately because my dad, as as he retired, he's 266 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 1: having these like crazy like life thinking back on his 267 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 1: life was like I did so much like I was 268 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 1: raised out of, like through guilt, and like guilt was 269 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,520 Speaker 1: like such a thing in our culture that he also 270 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,600 Speaker 1: did to like us. And he's so now he's like 271 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 1: trying to like right his wrongs. Wow, that is, I know, 272 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: an evolved man. 273 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:15,920 Speaker 3: That is so impressive. 274 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, really, I know, like he could just not care 275 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,440 Speaker 1: or like whatever, Like being self aware to know it, yeah, 276 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 1: and then saying it out loud and then trying to 277 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 1: correct it is Wow. Yeah, it's an evolved man. It's evolved. 278 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,680 Speaker 1: But it's made me super hyper aware of like the 279 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,960 Speaker 1: guilt too, because I was raised a lot with it. 280 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,480 Speaker 1: I also can use it a lot in my relationship 281 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 1: and I can now I'm like hyper aware of Like, no, 282 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,240 Speaker 1: I don't guilt him into anything. You know what I mean. 283 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,560 Speaker 1: I I I'm very just hyper aware of that word. 284 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:51,120 Speaker 1: So when she used in this email, I was like, no, no, period. 285 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 6: I've been talking a lot about guilt with my therapists 286 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,160 Speaker 6: and that's something. Yeah, it's it's we leave it behind. 287 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,320 Speaker 6: We don't need guilt anymore. 288 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,360 Speaker 1: I think it was like our generation, like our ars 289 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,360 Speaker 1: led alot by guilt. Maybe not everybody's, but like. 290 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,640 Speaker 3: I've done so much for you, yeah. 291 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:11,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, or like in different there's there's other like so 292 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:12,840 Speaker 1: many different ways that you can guilt too. 293 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,360 Speaker 3: By the way, Charlotte, Charlotte, we're so excited for you. 294 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 3: We can't know. Yes, maybe it's been an update. Once 295 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 3: it happens, give us a story. We can't wait. Okay, 296 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 3: here we go with. 297 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 6: This is from Kate uh Dear Banya and Nieston. I'm 298 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 6: having some WLW trouble and I need advice. I'm twenty 299 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,000 Speaker 6: nine and the last October I went on my very 300 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,280 Speaker 6: first date with a woman. I've known him a lesbian 301 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,040 Speaker 6: for about five years. Shout out to beca mentioning untamed, 302 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,240 Speaker 6: which I'll make it click for me. But I've been 303 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 6: avoiding dating out of fear of coming out. I finally 304 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,920 Speaker 6: gave Hine a try, and I totally didn't expect to 305 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,120 Speaker 6: connect with the first person I met, but I did. 306 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 6: We clicked instantly. The date lasted for over three hours, 307 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 6: no awkwardness. We even had similar religious backgrounds that both 308 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 6: left and had both left that behind. After that, I 309 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 6: came out to people in my life because I didn't 310 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,840 Speaker 6: want to hide. We dated for two months, but then 311 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 6: my mental health tainked unrelated to her, and I got 312 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 6: super anxious I were to be too needy or scare 313 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 6: her off. So I panicked and shared all of that 314 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:11,080 Speaker 6: with her. We decided to stop dating, and not as 315 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 6: a pause, but more leaving the door open for the 316 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,240 Speaker 6: potential to reconnect in the future. Since then, I've dated others, 317 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,560 Speaker 6: but nothing has come close. She's still on my mind 318 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,160 Speaker 6: all the time. She's kind, goes to therapy, and genuinely 319 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:24,080 Speaker 6: wants to grow. She has no red flags. We've stayed 320 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:27,160 Speaker 6: in light contact. I usually initiate, and we recently caught 321 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 6: up again in person. It was a little awkward, bit nice. 322 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 6: So now we're hanging out again this week. How do 323 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,960 Speaker 6: I bring up asking if she's seeing anyone and we're 324 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 6: considered dating again. I have to ask, otherwise I'll keep wondering, 325 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,000 Speaker 6: and I don't want to put her on the spot 326 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 6: or feel like I'm forcing anything. I just don't know 327 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 6: how to say it without making it weird or crushing 328 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:46,400 Speaker 6: myself if she says no, any advice would mean the world. 329 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 3: Well, I think it's important that you are taking care 330 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 3: of your own mental health and your anxiety, because I 331 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 3: think that no matter where she is in her life 332 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:05,720 Speaker 3: and her relationship, I think if you're not taking care 333 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 3: of yourself and and working on the thing that that 334 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:12,000 Speaker 3: made you separate in the first place, or take a break, 335 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,800 Speaker 3: I think that it's gonna you're gonna fall back into 336 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 3: the same patterns of like anxiety and mental struggles. But 337 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 3: I think if you'll hang out again, just be like, Hey, 338 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:28,200 Speaker 3: so are you seeing anyone else? Like, what's what's going 339 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 3: on in your dating life? I'm still interested in you, 340 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 3: but I'm you know, want to be respectful to see 341 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:33,440 Speaker 3: where you're. 342 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: At what I'm still interested in you? Yeah, just be direct. 343 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 3: I think I think so too. 344 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,920 Speaker 1: I think if you go on and you don't scratch 345 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,320 Speaker 1: this itch, you're gonna always live in the what if yes, 346 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:45,360 Speaker 1: and you don't want to live in that. 347 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 3: But I do think that it's not fair to her 348 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 3: if you haven't worked on the things that you need 349 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 3: to work on, Like if you took a break because 350 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 3: of your mental health, but you haven't done anything to 351 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 3: improve your mental health. I don't think it's fair to 352 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 3: try and start something else up because I think you're 353 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 3: going to end up in the same space. So I 354 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 3: think if you have done that and you're ready to 355 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,800 Speaker 3: pursue something, I think you just are direct. I always 356 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,320 Speaker 3: think if if I was in a situation of limbo 357 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,399 Speaker 3: with someone, all I would want for them is to 358 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 3: be direct with me. Whether my reaction was like I 359 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,680 Speaker 3: don't think I'm ready for that or whatever, it would 360 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,439 Speaker 3: be so refreshing for someone to just be like, hey, 361 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,480 Speaker 3: I'm still interested in you. Where are you at as 362 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:25,000 Speaker 3: opposed to kind of just tiptoeing around it. So maybe 363 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,200 Speaker 3: she's waiting for you, since you're the one who needed 364 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 3: a break, Maybe she is waiting for you to bring 365 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,960 Speaker 3: it up. So I would just be doing other say hey, 366 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,400 Speaker 3: I like you. I've been working on myself. Where are 367 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,440 Speaker 3: you in terms of where we left off? 368 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 1: Period? But good luck new thing, Kate. 369 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 3: We'll be excited to hear an update, hopefully a positive one. 370 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,240 Speaker 1: Yeah do it? Kate go, Kate go go. 371 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:56,160 Speaker 3: Should we take a break? 372 00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,439 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I should take a break. Just love these 373 00:17:58,480 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 4: emails so much. 374 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:19,440 Speaker 1: All right, we're back. 375 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 3: This next one feels like some advice that Tanya can answer. 376 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 6: Oh yeah, it's from a confused bride to be overwhelmed 377 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,639 Speaker 6: with wedding planning beck at Tanya, Mark and Easton. First, 378 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,680 Speaker 6: I just have to say how much I love your podcast. 379 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 6: I've been listening for years and I genuinely feel like 380 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 6: I know the four of you. I truly trust your perspective. 381 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,000 Speaker 6: So I want to reach out for some advice. I'm 382 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 6: in the thick of wedding planning and honestly, it's starting 383 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 6: to feel like too much. Financially, it's overwhelming. My fiance 384 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,840 Speaker 6: and I sat down or crunch the numbers, and the 385 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,680 Speaker 6: amount we need to save each month to pull off 386 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:52,440 Speaker 6: this wedding without going into debt is daunting. What makes 387 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,919 Speaker 6: it harder is that while everyone seems excited, no one 388 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 6: is really showing up in a meaningful way. I have 389 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 6: a very complicated relationship with my mom and special events. 390 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:01,880 Speaker 6: This bring up a lot of emotions for me because 391 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,399 Speaker 6: we're not close. I'm paying for my own wedding dress. 392 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 6: No one has offered a host a bridal shower. I 393 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,119 Speaker 6: constantly feel like people don't want to come celebrate with me, 394 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,160 Speaker 6: and there's just this sense that we're doing all this alone. 395 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 6: I've been struggling with anxiety, and I'll be honest, the 396 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,600 Speaker 6: whole process is starting to feel more draining than joyful. 397 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,159 Speaker 6: We already put down a deposit on a venue, and 398 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 6: now we're thinking of canceling. We're seriously considering an elopement 399 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,639 Speaker 6: or a microwaiting with about thirty of our closest friends 400 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,360 Speaker 6: and family, people we actually feel connected to and supported by. 401 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,919 Speaker 6: But even that comes with hard decisions and a little guilt. 402 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 6: There are parts of wedding planning that genuinely excite me, 403 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,399 Speaker 6: and I do want to celebrate this huge milestone with 404 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:39,159 Speaker 6: the people I love, But I can't shake this nagging feeling. 405 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 6: What if we sacrifice and save for the next year 406 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,359 Speaker 6: and a half only to feel anxious, unsupported, and like 407 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 6: we didn't even enjoy the day. And I guess my 408 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,679 Speaker 6: question is, how do I let go of what this 409 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,919 Speaker 6: should look like and do it actually feels good and 410 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,639 Speaker 6: right for us without guilt. How do I find peace 411 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,359 Speaker 6: with pulling back on expectations and still finding joy in 412 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 6: what this moment represents. Thank you for listening. I truly 413 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,879 Speaker 6: love any advice you have from a confused bride to be. 414 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:05,480 Speaker 1: I want to say that if you don't consider eloping 415 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,720 Speaker 1: at some point in your engagement, then you're not doing 416 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,240 Speaker 1: it right, because I like everybody I feel like goes 417 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,719 Speaker 1: through that point, even I, somebody who's dreamed of my 418 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,440 Speaker 1: wedding my whole life, got to a point where I 419 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 1: was just like, I had this exact same feeling. It 420 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 1: was like, should we just go to Italy elbe, take 421 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,159 Speaker 1: some pretty photos and call it a day. So I 422 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,359 Speaker 1: feel like everybody goes so that it feels like you 423 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,480 Speaker 1: are hitting that point right now. So I just want 424 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,600 Speaker 1: you to know that I think that's super common. I 425 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,720 Speaker 1: felt that. I know every bride that I've talked to 426 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,720 Speaker 1: in the last year has also hit that point, So 427 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:42,280 Speaker 1: that's very common. I also think the the expectations that 428 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 1: you're talking about and feeling like you're doing it alone. 429 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,639 Speaker 1: I was so supported and I had people in my 430 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 1: life that wanted to do so much for me, and 431 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 1: I still had that feeling too, and I think it's 432 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:57,959 Speaker 1: because of social media, Like we're constantly fed all this stuff, 433 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 1: and like, I didn't even realize it until I had 434 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,439 Speaker 1: this like Eureka moment. I was talking to Raquel and 435 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,960 Speaker 1: she was like, you're seeing all that. You're seeing these 436 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,359 Speaker 1: crazy things on social media. You're seeing these like rainbow 437 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:14,600 Speaker 1: fireworks on the Amalfi Coast and like these sculptures and 438 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 1: people doing all the having bridal showers and multiple bachelorette 439 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,040 Speaker 1: parties and people just are doing the most. And I 440 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,440 Speaker 1: feel like it, for some reason, just infiltrates our feeds, 441 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:30,200 Speaker 1: especially when you're a bride. For some reason, the algorithm 442 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,199 Speaker 1: just feeds you all of this stuff. And so I 443 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,879 Speaker 1: feel like the feeling that expectation like you're doing it 444 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:40,240 Speaker 1: alone is also very common because of everything that you're consuming. 445 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 1: So I just want you to know that the things 446 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:45,679 Speaker 1: that you're feeling are super I think normal. But I 447 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,199 Speaker 1: also think if you give into those feelings and you 448 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,720 Speaker 1: don't go through with having your wedding, I think you're 449 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:55,679 Speaker 1: gonna ultimately regret it. Because I feel like you're going 450 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,520 Speaker 1: to push through, You're going to figure it out, and 451 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,879 Speaker 1: it's gonna be the best day of your life and 452 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,120 Speaker 1: you're not gonna have regrets. 453 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 3: My only advice because I think I would do that. 454 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,320 Speaker 3: That's I think that's a really great advice, But I 455 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,679 Speaker 3: would I would say we talked about guilt earlier, and 456 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,919 Speaker 3: I think the inviting people to what's supposed to be 457 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,480 Speaker 3: one of the best days of your life or even 458 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,080 Speaker 3: just like, let's not even put the pressure of the 459 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,280 Speaker 3: best day of your life, but something that's so special 460 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,720 Speaker 3: and that you've been looking forward to and spending money on. 461 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,640 Speaker 3: Why I just am like, And maybe it's just because 462 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,399 Speaker 3: I'm in a place where when the Halen and I 463 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,639 Speaker 3: think about our wedding and who we would invite, I'm like, 464 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:37,159 Speaker 3: I'm not like, I don't care if they're family, close friends, 465 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:40,800 Speaker 3: If they haven't supported our relationship or like have any 466 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,919 Speaker 3: negativity or homophobic thoughts towards our relationship, they're not coming 467 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:45,520 Speaker 3: to our wedding. 468 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:45,960 Speaker 1: Right. 469 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 3: So, if there's people who haven't felt like they've been 470 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,680 Speaker 3: supportive of your relationship or been there for you through 471 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,520 Speaker 3: things like, let go of the guilt, Because if they 472 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,880 Speaker 3: haven't been there through through up until that point, why 473 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,720 Speaker 3: do they get an invite to be there to celebrate 474 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 3: on the day. 475 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, I do feel like it maybe is like a 476 00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:10,520 Speaker 1: point in your life when that starts to shift, because 477 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 1: I feel like in my twenties I would have probably 478 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 1: felt the same way of like I need to invite 479 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,560 Speaker 1: everybody who invited me to their wedding and like have 480 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:17,680 Speaker 1: that mentality like if. 481 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,160 Speaker 3: Their family they have to come. 482 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, totally Yeah, And like I could not have been 483 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 1: farther from that mentality when I was planning my wedding. YEA, 484 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:26,960 Speaker 1: our guest list was like so it was like one 485 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,359 Speaker 1: of the easiest things. We had a couple, like I 486 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 1: would say maybe like two or three couples that we 487 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:35,080 Speaker 1: regretted not inviting. Other than that, we were like our 488 00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,720 Speaker 1: invite and our wedding was like exactly what we wanted 489 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 1: it to be. 490 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,120 Speaker 3: But that's what I'm saying. I would go, I would 491 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 3: make a list of all the people that you're even 492 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,720 Speaker 3: thinking of inviting, like even if you're on the fence 493 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,119 Speaker 3: on it, And when you see their name, what feeling 494 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,359 Speaker 3: do they evoke? Do they make you feel like I 495 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,960 Speaker 3: want them to be a part of this day or 496 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 3: will I be okay if they're not there? 497 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 1: And do you want these people a part of your future. 498 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:58,800 Speaker 1: That was like the whole thing too, because like you 499 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,479 Speaker 1: have so much guilt and pressure from your past, but 500 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 1: your pass is your past. Like it's like thinking about 501 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,199 Speaker 1: the couples and the people that you want in your future. 502 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 1: M hmm. 503 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,880 Speaker 6: Yeah, these people are going to be in the photos 504 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:11,560 Speaker 6: that you'll be looking at forever, you know. That's something 505 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,399 Speaker 6: I was thinking about, like who want Who's face? Do 506 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 6: I want to look at him? 507 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:15,159 Speaker 4: Yeah? 508 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:15,480 Speaker 1: Yeah? 509 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,199 Speaker 3: And if they want to celebrate you and and be 510 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 3: a part, then they'll show up before the day where 511 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,640 Speaker 3: you're spending all their your saved money to feed them 512 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:25,760 Speaker 3: and entertain them. 513 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,520 Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's also the price. It's not even 514 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 1: the pressure of like the best day of your life. 515 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,639 Speaker 1: It's like the price tag. You're spending so much and 516 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,399 Speaker 1: I want it to be just snowballs too. 517 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:34,760 Speaker 5: Yeah. 518 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 1: Like I was talking to one of my girlfriends who's 519 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,520 Speaker 1: like thinking about it, and she's like, I just don't 520 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,120 Speaker 1: think I want to even go there because I don't 521 00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:43,359 Speaker 1: want to open that door. And I was like, well, 522 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 1: maybe we could just do like a release intimate dinner 523 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: and you can get like a really pretty dress. And 524 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:48,960 Speaker 1: then she's like yeah, but if I'm doing all that 525 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 1: and I'm bringing everybody over here, I'm going to want 526 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,680 Speaker 1: to do like a rehearsal dinner, and then you're gonna, oh, 527 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,359 Speaker 1: I'm gonna want a photographer, and it just all starts 528 00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:57,359 Speaker 1: to snowball on that up. 529 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I would just really think of who who 530 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 3: has made you feel loved and support it as a couple, 531 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,560 Speaker 3: and and don't let the guilt take over what is 532 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:11,080 Speaker 3: best for you and your fiance. We love you and 533 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:14,040 Speaker 3: you really wish you the best, and I hope this 534 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 3: is a is a love letter experience. 535 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,120 Speaker 1: Yes, are you proud of me that I didn't dive 536 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: into questions about your wedding because you kind of went 537 00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:28,360 Speaker 1: there about your wedding, You and Handel. 538 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:29,119 Speaker 3: We want to invite people. 539 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:33,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, but like I feel like that shows evolvement that 540 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:33,960 Speaker 1: I just let it go. 541 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 5: Thank you. 542 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:35,920 Speaker 3: What wasn't about me? 543 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,960 Speaker 4: I was just tiptoeing on the edge of not letting 544 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:38,119 Speaker 4: it go. 545 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:43,879 Speaker 5: Yeah, you almost did it, you almost got there, but 546 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:50,280 Speaker 5: just miss I'm perfect perfection, just improved. 547 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:50,919 Speaker 1: Yes, thank you? 548 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 4: Alrighty. 549 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:11,119 Speaker 6: This one's from anonymous as always a blast. Hello Becca, 550 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 6: Tanya Mark in Easton. I've been a longtime listener, and 551 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,679 Speaker 6: I know everyone says this, but you all make my 552 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,680 Speaker 6: work commute so much more enjoyable. The dynamic the four 553 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 6: you have is just incredible. So please don't switch things 554 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,200 Speaker 6: up on the pod too much. Let the trolls be trolls. 555 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,600 Speaker 6: I'm looking for some advice on a friendship situation that's 556 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,920 Speaker 6: been bothering me. I'm in my mid forties with kids, 557 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 6: and over the years, my husband and I became close 558 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:34,280 Speaker 6: with one of our child's friends parents, especially the dads. 559 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 6: My husband doesn't have a lot of close friends, so 560 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,239 Speaker 6: this connection is meant a lot. The mom and I 561 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 6: also became friendly, though not quite as close. A few 562 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,119 Speaker 6: months ago, we saw a movie together and afterwards she 563 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,600 Speaker 6: expected we'd also hang out that night. I had other 564 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,479 Speaker 6: plans and I didn't remember any set plans for the evening, 565 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,640 Speaker 6: and she got really upset with me. When I look 566 00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,280 Speaker 6: back at our texts, or had been a vague, non 567 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,320 Speaker 6: committal mention of doing something, but nothing was confirmed. I 568 00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 6: still felt awful. I later texted to ask if she 569 00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:01,080 Speaker 6: was upset, and she's said yes, and that I had 570 00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 6: done this before, and saying it was becoming a trend. 571 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:07,200 Speaker 6: Damn and She did acknowledge that she could have communicated better, 572 00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 6: but that comment really stuck with me. Life is busy, 573 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 6: things come up, and I'd never treat a friend poorly 574 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,879 Speaker 6: over a change of plans. If anything, I welcome cancelations. 575 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,680 Speaker 6: Since then, I've stepped way back. I still include them 576 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 6: here and there to support my husband's friendship, but I 577 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:22,400 Speaker 6: haven't been reaching out too much. Here's where I need help. 578 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,280 Speaker 6: Do I just let this go and move forward like 579 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:27,400 Speaker 6: nothing happened, Or if she eventually asks why we don't 580 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 6: hang out or grow on trips anymore? Do I tell 581 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,639 Speaker 6: her honestly that her expectations feel unrealistic. How can I 582 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,200 Speaker 6: be honest, hold my boundaries and still be graceful? Thanks 583 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:36,720 Speaker 6: so much for any insight. 584 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:40,040 Speaker 1: I got lost in that email. 585 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,800 Speaker 3: No, So, basically they went to She and her husband 586 00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 3: went to see a movie with their friends their couple 587 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,520 Speaker 3: uh huh, and they were Her friend thought they were 588 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,480 Speaker 3: hanging out afterwards, but she had other plans. But she 589 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,480 Speaker 3: had made like a loose comment about like, oh yeah, 590 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 3: maybe we can hang out afterwards, but it was nothing set. 591 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,399 Speaker 3: So basically, the friend thought there was set plans for 592 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 3: them to hang out after the movie. She thought it 593 00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:03,920 Speaker 3: was a loose plan. She had made other plans after 594 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,880 Speaker 3: the movie. Okay, So then her friend was like, you've 595 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,480 Speaker 3: done this before. It's becoming a trend. When she asked 596 00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:10,440 Speaker 3: if she was upset. 597 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,159 Speaker 1: With her, Okay, this is like a non issue. 598 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:18,760 Speaker 3: This is this is where different personalities type can can need, 599 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:23,479 Speaker 3: can clash and need extra TLC. Because what happened was 600 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:28,040 Speaker 3: you are someone like me who is very noncommittal, fine 601 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 3: with making loose plans, welcomes cancelations, it's totally fine if 602 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,000 Speaker 3: things switch up. There are other people who once, once 603 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,200 Speaker 3: they have a loose plan or an idea of how 604 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,600 Speaker 3: things are going to go on their mind, that's what 605 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,840 Speaker 3: they have planned, and so if that goes astray, like 606 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,040 Speaker 3: Hailey's very much like this. 607 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,360 Speaker 1: Where I can't have loose plans. 608 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:49,720 Speaker 3: Hailey does not like a loose plan. So if if 609 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,640 Speaker 3: she has an idea of what we're doing, and then 610 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, I I didn't know that that was 611 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 3: a set plan. It's it's a conflict because in my mind, 612 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,360 Speaker 3: I'm like, but we didn't solidify, and she's like, well 613 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,760 Speaker 3: I did. It's on my calendar, So I think it's 614 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:06,520 Speaker 3: just a conversation of understanding that she's not like you 615 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:12,120 Speaker 3: in that and that's okay, but being respectful of both parties. 616 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,400 Speaker 3: But I think what she probably needs to hear from 617 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 3: you is like, hey, I'm so sorry. Like my personality 618 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:20,120 Speaker 3: is go with the flow. I'm non committal. I didn't 619 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:21,640 Speaker 3: want I don't want to make this an issue, but 620 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:26,480 Speaker 3: I am sorry if I like change the plans for 621 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,840 Speaker 3: something that you had that you were set on, and 622 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,920 Speaker 3: just like acknowledged to her that you understand where she's 623 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,040 Speaker 3: coming from and I don't. I really don't think you 624 00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,280 Speaker 3: did anything wrong. But sometimes I think that's just what 625 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,400 Speaker 3: people need to hear, is like, if you did something 626 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:45,320 Speaker 3: that affected how they envisioned their evening going, I think 627 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 3: it's worth it to just go like, hey, I'm sorry 628 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,840 Speaker 3: I did that. I'll be more aware of it in 629 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:51,400 Speaker 3: the future because I don't want this to be a 630 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:52,480 Speaker 3: trend or how you see me. 631 00:29:53,640 --> 00:30:00,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like as you get older, or or 632 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,520 Speaker 1: maybe because I feel like I used to be a 633 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:04,800 Speaker 1: pupil pleaser. If I if somebody said something like that, 634 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,560 Speaker 1: like I get it that it's stuck with you, because 635 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,400 Speaker 1: things would just stick with me like I would not 636 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,480 Speaker 1: get over things because I'd just let them sit and 637 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,360 Speaker 1: fester and I would think about them over and over 638 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:13,000 Speaker 1: and over again. 639 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,840 Speaker 3: If I said, if I told you I was mad 640 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 3: at you, and you've done this before and it's becoming 641 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:20,920 Speaker 3: a trend, you, what's so faster on that? 642 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I would do it. But the difference is the 643 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,560 Speaker 1: difference is, and I think this is so important. If 644 00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:29,920 Speaker 1: it's one of your best friends. I think it's something 645 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,800 Speaker 1: that you like. I value Becka's opinion, and I value 646 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 1: the things that you say way more than like ninety 647 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,959 Speaker 1: percent of the people in my life. So if this 648 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,479 Speaker 1: is something that's like an acquaintance and it's just like 649 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,320 Speaker 1: because your husband is friends with her husband, it's like, 650 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,239 Speaker 1: just let that stuff roll off your back, Like you 651 00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:50,640 Speaker 1: can't be so hyper fixated on it, be hyper fixated 652 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:52,800 Speaker 1: because it's just going to eat it and it's going 653 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,200 Speaker 1: to create like stress in your life. I think if 654 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,920 Speaker 1: it's somebody that's important to you in your life and 655 00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 1: they're giving you like a constructive critis and then I 656 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:02,720 Speaker 1: think you could take it into consideration and like really 657 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:04,760 Speaker 1: be mindful about it. But other than that, if it's 658 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,000 Speaker 1: somebody that's just like an acquaintance. 659 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:13,000 Speaker 3: I think she wants the relationship to be uh like 660 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,120 Speaker 3: comfortable though, because the husband's gonna really wrong. So I 661 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:18,960 Speaker 3: think it's worth just being like I wanted to apologize 662 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 3: for you know that I made you so that way, 663 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:25,160 Speaker 3: I'm misunderstanding and I'll be better at communicating because I 664 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,200 Speaker 3: can just I'm totally go with the flow. I don't 665 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,560 Speaker 3: mind cancelations or plan shifting, and I know that's not everybody, 666 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,040 Speaker 3: so I acknowledge that and then just move on. Yeah, 667 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:38,240 Speaker 3: and just to acknowledge what she why she was upset. Yeah, 668 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:39,880 Speaker 3: and then don't think about it again. 669 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:48,120 Speaker 1: Agreed. Yeah, period, Okay. 670 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:48,680 Speaker 3: We have one more. 671 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:53,720 Speaker 6: The Tiffany says, good morning, Becket, Tanya, Mark, and Easton. 672 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,480 Speaker 6: I love knowing when people write these what time of 673 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,800 Speaker 6: day it is. I've been listening since Tony was just 674 00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,240 Speaker 6: a guest. My question for you is if you could 675 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,560 Speaker 6: live anywhere for one week, one month, and one year, 676 00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:06,440 Speaker 6: where would it be. Her answer is one week Australia, 677 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:09,520 Speaker 6: one month Europe as a whole, and one year Hawaii. 678 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:11,720 Speaker 6: Love you all and hope you have a good weekend. 679 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,400 Speaker 3: I actually posted this on my Instagram. 680 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:16,640 Speaker 4: I did, Wow, Tiffany, you original match. 681 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 3: No, my one week was I think I did one 682 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:28,040 Speaker 3: week Hawaii, one month Majorca, and one year Japan. Japan 683 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,479 Speaker 3: just has so many places to explore, and I just 684 00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 3: like think it's so beautiful and I love the people 685 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,800 Speaker 3: in the culture, and I would love to, Like Haley's 686 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 3: half Japanese, so it'd be really fun to go and like, 687 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,880 Speaker 3: you know, live there for an extended amount of time. 688 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,960 Speaker 3: Or I could flop. I could flop Hawaiian Japan like 689 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 3: I could. I could live in Hawaii for a year, 690 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,840 Speaker 3: in Japan for a month, or no, sorry, I could. 691 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,160 Speaker 3: I could do Hawaii or Japan for a year. But 692 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:55,800 Speaker 3: those are my three favorite places as of now. What 693 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:56,200 Speaker 3: about you. 694 00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 1: My one week I would do Saint Barts, it's the best. 695 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:03,600 Speaker 3: Yeah. 696 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:08,239 Speaker 1: My one month I would do Hawaii, okay, yeah, And 697 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,200 Speaker 1: then my one year I would do Europe because you 698 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:16,040 Speaker 1: can really go many places period. 699 00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:26,200 Speaker 6: I think my one week would be Australia the entire continent, 700 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:34,840 Speaker 6: one month would be Hawaii the Big Island specifically, and 701 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:39,800 Speaker 6: one year New York City. Baby, I want to know 702 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:41,640 Speaker 6: what that year would be like. I'm really I've been 703 00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:42,680 Speaker 6: thinking about that a lot, you. 704 00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:44,280 Speaker 1: Know, I thought about I thought about New York. 705 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:48,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought, maybe you got to start your year 706 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:53,120 Speaker 3: in New York. What season would you start in? Oh? 707 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,280 Speaker 3: Not Now, I think I would start in the fall 708 00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:58,560 Speaker 3: because I think it could be like the hype to 709 00:33:58,640 --> 00:33:59,360 Speaker 3: get through. 710 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:00,760 Speaker 4: Get through the the rest of the year. 711 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd be like, this is amazing. And then I'd 712 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,560 Speaker 3: be like, I just get. 713 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,760 Speaker 1: So tired in New York, like it has like it 714 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,840 Speaker 1: does have this energy, but it's like more than five days. 715 00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:11,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, Mama's gotta. 716 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:11,839 Speaker 2: Go to bed. 717 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:12,880 Speaker 1: Mama. 718 00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:17,560 Speaker 3: Every time I go to New York. The first two 719 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,560 Speaker 3: or three days, I'm like I'm move like yeah, and 720 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:22,319 Speaker 3: then by the fourth and fifth day, I'm like, I 721 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,239 Speaker 3: gotta get home. I gotta get back to. 722 00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,920 Speaker 1: The West where I can go to the grocery store. 723 00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:28,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, and just like. 724 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,640 Speaker 1: Feeld not things dripping on me. 725 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:35,359 Speaker 4: Yeah, the tragedy. 726 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, but cool. 727 00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, there is a vibe. 728 00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:39,799 Speaker 5: All right. 729 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,919 Speaker 3: Well that's all. Thank you as usual for always sending 730 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:46,040 Speaker 3: in questions if you ever want our advice. D m 731 00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,040 Speaker 3: us on Instagram at scrubbing in pod or email us 732 00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:52,279 Speaker 3: at scrubbing In at iHeartMedia dot com. We love you 733 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:52,440 Speaker 3: so 734 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,359 Speaker 1: Muchy, We love you Hell