WEBVTT - Our Experience: “The gay cancer.”

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<v Speaker 1>Ruby.

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<v Speaker 2>I started hearing the rumors of gay cancer.

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<v Speaker 3>I've been in the desert now thirty five years.

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<v Speaker 2>They're healing powers here.

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<v Speaker 1>Being queer and having sex is at the root of our.

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<v Speaker 4>Liberation from just beyond the lights of Los Angeles and

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<v Speaker 4>steamy Palm Springs, California. It's Mick Robert Bill just say,

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<v Speaker 4>and this is silver Lining.

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<v Speaker 3>With the old Gays.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back, kids.

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<v Speaker 4>While you're still digesting last weekend's hot dogs and fireworks,

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<v Speaker 4>we're here to serve you something even more explosive, a

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<v Speaker 4>very personal new episode of silver Linings.

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<v Speaker 3>It's July and certainly heating up over here in Palm Springs.

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<v Speaker 3>So today we're going to cool things down a bit

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<v Speaker 3>with a conversation about living with are in community with HIV.

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<v Speaker 1>Both Robert and I are HIV positive and open about

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<v Speaker 1>our experiences. The journey hasn't just shaped our lives, it's

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<v Speaker 1>reshaped our community and in many ways, the world. Since

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<v Speaker 1>the beginning of the epidemic, over eighty eight million people

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<v Speaker 1>worldwide have been infected with HIV, and about forty three

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<v Speaker 1>million have already died.

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<v Speaker 4>Nowadays, with access to proper prevention and treatment, HIV is manageable,

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<v Speaker 4>and most people with the virus can't transmit it to others.

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<v Speaker 1>Treated HIV can lead to the disease AIDS, and no

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<v Speaker 1>cure exists at this time.

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<v Speaker 2>In the nineteen eighties, the virus spread rapidly throughout the

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<v Speaker 2>gay community. At first, there was no way to treat it,

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<v Speaker 2>so during that time we lost a large number of

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<v Speaker 2>gay men. The backdrop of this crisis was terrible fear

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<v Speaker 2>and vilification of our community.

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<v Speaker 3>As of twenty twenty three report by the CDC, approximately

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<v Speaker 3>one point one three million people aged thirteen and older

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<v Speaker 3>are living with diagnosed HIV in the United States today.

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<v Speaker 3>We want to share our stories because it is not

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<v Speaker 3>only a part of who we are, but also an

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<v Speaker 3>integral part of our community history. I've been living with

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<v Speaker 3>HIV for thirty eight years now. I was diagnosed in

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<v Speaker 3>early nineteen eighty seven, and when I was diagnosed, there

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<v Speaker 3>were no treatments available other than AZT, a drug which

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<v Speaker 3>was very potent and in itself was probably killing people.

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<v Speaker 3>And when I learned of my diagnosis, it was an

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<v Speaker 3>enormous shock to me, and for several months I was

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<v Speaker 3>processing what had happened to me. When I first heard

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<v Speaker 3>about it. I was working in the interior design business

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<v Speaker 3>in Showplace Square in San Francisco, and all of a

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<v Speaker 3>sudden I started hearing rumors that the showroom across the

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<v Speaker 3>street from us, one of his salesman's boyfriends had died

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<v Speaker 3>of gay cancer. And that's what it was called, Ben.

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<v Speaker 3>It was just gay cancer, and it shocked the life

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<v Speaker 3>out of me. I really didn't know what to think,

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<v Speaker 3>and no one else really did too. It was all

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<v Speaker 3>in sort of a cloud kind of a thing.

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<v Speaker 4>And I was on the road singing, so I wasn't

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<v Speaker 4>in the community then. I wasn't even out. But I

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<v Speaker 4>actually knew about five people who had died from it,

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<v Speaker 4>which was more than enough for me going through it

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<v Speaker 4>with them.

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<v Speaker 1>I write about it in the New York Times. There

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<v Speaker 1>was an article about a group of men in San

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<v Speaker 1>Francisco and Los Angeles and New York City who were

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<v Speaker 1>coming down with a very rare form of cancer called

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<v Speaker 1>carpos sarcoma, which was found only in men of Southern

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<v Speaker 1>European descent whose immune systems were compromised. And that's the

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<v Speaker 1>first time I had read it, just like Bill had

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<v Speaker 1>mentioned the gay cancer, and the cancer was carposi sarcoma.

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<v Speaker 3>As for me, I remember hearing about AIDS and HIV.

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<v Speaker 3>It was the early eighties living in San Francisco, and

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<v Speaker 3>almost every day I would go down to the Castro

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<v Speaker 3>and have breakfasts in one of the restaurants. And it

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<v Speaker 3>was during one of those times. I think this was

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<v Speaker 3>probably early nineteen eighty one, And one of the clearest

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<v Speaker 3>memories I have in the early eighties is that one

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<v Speaker 3>particular newspaper, Bar Bay Area Reporter began publishing an obituary

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<v Speaker 3>column that started out with a few names every week.

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<v Speaker 3>So one of the exercises I think probably every gay

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<v Speaker 3>person did at that time was looked at that obituary column.

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<v Speaker 4>To see who had died.

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<v Speaker 3>And that column grew until it was a whole page

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<v Speaker 3>of the newspaper.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you remember when they published the photographs of the

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<v Speaker 1>first like one hundred thousand victims, people who had succumbed

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<v Speaker 1>to AIDS, and they published it in Time magazine, and

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<v Speaker 1>you went through it and just marked who you knew. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. One person put it, being queer and having

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<v Speaker 1>sex is at the root of our liberation. What I

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<v Speaker 1>think HIV represents, it's the intersection of three things. First,

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<v Speaker 1>of being homosexual, that means being queer. The second is

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<v Speaker 1>that it is passed through sex okay, which defines us.

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<v Speaker 1>And finally, it is religion in societies persecution and murder

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<v Speaker 1>of people like me. You know, it wasn't until nineteen

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<v Speaker 1>seventy four that the American Psychiatric Association officially removed homosexuality

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<v Speaker 1>from its list of mental disorders or mental illness. Nineteen

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<v Speaker 1>seventy four, I remember that year. That was the year

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<v Speaker 1>I graduated high school. My entire lifetime, I have not

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<v Speaker 1>only seen and witnessed discrimination, murder, persecution just for being

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<v Speaker 1>who you are, but also a disease for which there

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<v Speaker 1>is no cure. By the nineteen eighties, when HIV swept

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<v Speaker 1>across America, our Wurk government did nothing. They did nothing,

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<v Speaker 1>which sparked social protests because the only way we got

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<v Speaker 1>the medicines that we needed, the care that we needed,

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<v Speaker 1>and the protection that we needed is that we went

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<v Speaker 1>into the streets.

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<v Speaker 4>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>Ronald Reagan was the president at that time, and it

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't until well into his second term that he even

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<v Speaker 1>mentioned the word AIDS, and that was at the behested.

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<v Speaker 1>Can you believe of Nancy Reagan so that's how I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to stop.

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<v Speaker 3>When it first became public that this disease was affecting

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<v Speaker 3>the gay community specifically, one of the major assumptions that

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<v Speaker 3>people made was that if you hugged someone or kissed someone,

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<v Speaker 3>you could catch AIDS, and so it had a very

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<v Speaker 3>repressive impact on people's affection towards each other, and also

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<v Speaker 3>the health treatment that people were receiving, where when you

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<v Speaker 3>did make it to a hospital or a hospice, that

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<v Speaker 3>even the medical professionals were very reluctant to get very

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<v Speaker 3>close to people who had contracted the disease. And of course,

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<v Speaker 3>as time has passed, we've learned that it's not that

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<v Speaker 3>easily transmitted, Thankfully.

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<v Speaker 1>What I thought was the most disgusting thing was a

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<v Speaker 1>conspiracy of silence. I can't tell you the number of

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<v Speaker 1>actors that I knew who were sick and went to

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<v Speaker 1>the grave denying their diagnosis because they were too afraid

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<v Speaker 1>of coming out. And if you think there's a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit of bitterness in my voice, theory is because I

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<v Speaker 1>think of those people often and what wonderful persons they were,

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<v Speaker 1>but they were so frightened by what society and the

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<v Speaker 1>business would think of them, which was throwing you out

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<v Speaker 1>the door and into this.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and that.

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<v Speaker 1>Is what sticks in my mind period.

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<v Speaker 4>I just thought of one bad memory of a friend

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<v Speaker 4>of mine who I went to college with. I thought

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<v Speaker 4>he was one of the sexiest guys on campus, dressed

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<v Speaker 4>to the tea when I found out that he was

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<v Speaker 4>HIV positive and then converted to being having aids his

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<v Speaker 4>self denial. I mean, you could see what he was

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<v Speaker 4>going through. And I remember being in West Hollywood in

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<v Speaker 4>the pharmacy there, I don't remember the name of it,

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<v Speaker 4>Capital Drug, Capital Drugs, Yes, with him picking up meds

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<v Speaker 4>and he was just I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm going

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<v Speaker 4>to do this. I'm going to do it. He wasn't

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<v Speaker 4>living in a real world. And I just remember just

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<v Speaker 4>stopping and holding him and telling him is said, I

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<v Speaker 4>love you so much, Curtis, but you're dying. And he died.

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<v Speaker 4>It was hard, but he finally came to the realization

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<v Speaker 4>that it was his ending. And it hurt because I

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<v Speaker 4>saw him go from this amazing person down too skin

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<v Speaker 4>and bones. But the thing was him coming to terms

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<v Speaker 4>with himself, you know, it was it didn't have to

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<v Speaker 4>do with anybody else.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I had quite a few friends, very close friends,

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<v Speaker 2>who did not tell me that they were infected with

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<v Speaker 2>the virus. And two of my friends had been to

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<v Speaker 2>Macy's and saw my good friend Tom in the pajama department,

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<v Speaker 2>and they got right back to me and said, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>Tom has aids. He never told me that there was

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<v Speaker 2>a shame attached to it. But I would have done

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<v Speaker 2>anything to be able to jump in and help Tom

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<v Speaker 2>right away, but he would not reach out to me

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<v Speaker 2>and let me help him. But he kept it all

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<v Speaker 2>inside of himself.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and I think that that's really what it was. Today.

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<v Speaker 1>We're afraid of telling their friends, their coworkers, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>because they had seen what had happened to the first victims,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. I mean there were mortuary companies that refused

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<v Speaker 1>to take dead bodies. It was horrific. And you know,

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<v Speaker 1>given the prejudice already that exists awards homosexuals in this country,

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<v Speaker 1>it's like this really double edged sword that just sticks

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<v Speaker 1>in your heart. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>Does anyone have any stories where you've seen hostility expressed

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<v Speaker 4>towards the AHIV community and people living with HIV I.

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<v Speaker 2>I did not, but I was living in San Francisco

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<v Speaker 2>at the time, and if you found out that somebody

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<v Speaker 2>had AIDS, you jumped in and you helped them. People

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<v Speaker 2>were helping each other.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. San Francisco was probably at the forefront of trying

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<v Speaker 3>to figure out how to best deal with this disease,

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<v Speaker 3>and the care structure that developed was basically setting up

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<v Speaker 3>a system of hospices, which were places where you could

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<v Speaker 3>go to die and die with compassionate care.

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<v Speaker 1>For me. Yeah, I mean there were did I personally

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<v Speaker 1>see people attack people who had hivhes so you could

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<v Speaker 1>hear it in the streets, but mostly I heard it

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<v Speaker 1>in public discourse. There was a senator from North Carolina

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<v Speaker 1>I think his name was Jesse Helms, and he vilified

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<v Speaker 1>from the floor of the Senate gay people AIDS and

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<v Speaker 1>that quite frankly, that AIDS was God's retribution to us,

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<v Speaker 1>that was God's answer or punishment. In the nineteen nineties

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<v Speaker 1>there was a group called Act Up and they engaged

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<v Speaker 1>in social protests to develop awareness among people. And what

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<v Speaker 1>they did is they snuck out it and from Senator

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<v Speaker 1>Helm's home and they had made a giant condom and

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<v Speaker 1>covered his entire house with this condom, which got a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of national recognition. A lot of humor, and after

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<v Speaker 1>a while, the DC police came by and told the

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<v Speaker 1>protesters to take the condom down from the senator's home,

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<v Speaker 1>and all they got was a parking ticket. It gets

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<v Speaker 1>even better, It wasn't their car. Can you imagine, Mick

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<v Speaker 1>and Robert, how have you navigated telling people about your status?

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<v Speaker 1>What have been the most surprising responses? Well?

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't run around saying hey, I'm HIV positive, But

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<v Speaker 3>whenever the subject came up and I was directly asked

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<v Speaker 3>about my status, I was always honest. And again because

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<v Speaker 3>of where I lived, first San Francisco and then Palm Springs,

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<v Speaker 3>I never experienced a negative reaction to someone else learning that.

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<v Speaker 1>All right in a mission. You know, I was in

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<v Speaker 1>a relationship at the time, and when I told my

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<v Speaker 1>partner that was the end of our marriage, he wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to throw me out. You know. We wrote a book

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<v Speaker 1>and one of the things that I talked about is

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<v Speaker 1>how much I owed Joel for so many things in

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<v Speaker 1>my professional life and on my personal life that I

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<v Speaker 1>learned from him and appreciated and I will always thank

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<v Speaker 1>him for that. But the other side of the story

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<v Speaker 1>is that he couldn't accept it, which comes down to this.

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<v Speaker 1>I forgive myself for having gotten infected. I was in

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<v Speaker 1>the wrong place at the wrong time. But you know

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<v Speaker 1>what I can do. I forgive the person who gave

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<v Speaker 1>it to me, because either he didn't know his status

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<v Speaker 1>or he went ahead and did it anyway, And I

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<v Speaker 1>forgive him for that, and I forgive myself. You have

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<v Speaker 1>to understand that I am not a victim right in

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<v Speaker 1>the story.

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<v Speaker 2>How does HIV influence your daily life now?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, certainly one of the major impacts is the daily

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<v Speaker 3>routine of taking medications. And beginning in the mid nineties,

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<v Speaker 3>when the proteas inhibitors came out, that's when I started

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<v Speaker 3>taking medications, and ever since then, I have had to

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<v Speaker 3>make a point of taking my HIV meds twice a

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<v Speaker 3>day every day, ye knowing that if I didn't it

0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:07.560
<v Speaker 3>could lead to complications and potentially eventually death.

0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:14.119
<v Speaker 1>I'm a little lucky. I take one pill in the morning,

0:19:15.240 --> 0:19:17.560
<v Speaker 1>and that is certainly a whole lot better than the

0:19:17.600 --> 0:19:20.240
<v Speaker 1>five or six pills I had to take when I

0:19:20.280 --> 0:19:25.240
<v Speaker 1>first was diagnosed. But Bob is right. He stresses a

0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:32.080
<v Speaker 1>point that was very early on impressed upon me by

0:19:32.160 --> 0:19:36.720
<v Speaker 1>my doctor. He said, every time you take one of

0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:41.840
<v Speaker 1>these pills. It reminds you of what has happened, and

0:19:41.920 --> 0:19:48.040
<v Speaker 1>you must confront your own self loathing because you are homosexual,

0:19:48.800 --> 0:19:51.280
<v Speaker 1>and the pressure that's put upon you is that you

0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:58.000
<v Speaker 1>are a bad person. Okay, that kind of pressure can

0:19:58.160 --> 0:20:03.679
<v Speaker 1>stop a person taking their meds. It is very important

0:20:04.040 --> 0:20:08.879
<v Speaker 1>that I take my pill every morning, but it reminds

0:20:09.000 --> 0:20:14.240
<v Speaker 1>me of my being in the wrong place and making

0:20:14.280 --> 0:20:17.439
<v Speaker 1>the wrong choice. But you know, there are good things

0:20:17.480 --> 0:20:21.199
<v Speaker 1>about this as well. You know, our community organized, at

0:20:21.280 --> 0:20:23.920
<v Speaker 1>least in Los Angeles, but also in the gay men's

0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:28.199
<v Speaker 1>health crisis in New York and in San Francisco and

0:20:28.520 --> 0:20:32.280
<v Speaker 1>all across the country. In Los Angeles it was AGED

0:20:32.320 --> 0:20:39.199
<v Speaker 1>Project Los Angeles, the APLA first commitment to Life dinner,

0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:44.159
<v Speaker 1>which honored Betty Ford, was such an enormous outpowering of

0:20:45.080 --> 0:20:48.640
<v Speaker 1>just support. It was also coinciding with the time that

0:20:48.760 --> 0:20:51.920
<v Speaker 1>Rock Hudson had just died, and that was a real

0:20:52.000 --> 0:20:57.240
<v Speaker 1>shock to Hollywood because he finally came out and he

0:20:57.280 --> 0:21:00.560
<v Speaker 1>said he had age and then he subsequent we died

0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:05.480
<v Speaker 1>from it, and that really rocked the city, rocked the world,

0:21:06.200 --> 0:21:09.439
<v Speaker 1>and people started, you know, looking around and saying, well,

0:21:09.480 --> 0:21:11.120
<v Speaker 1>people are dying all around us.

0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:17.240
<v Speaker 3>I think the biggest thing to know about this disease

0:21:18.000 --> 0:21:23.960
<v Speaker 3>is that it is no longer a death notice. I

0:21:24.040 --> 0:21:28.840
<v Speaker 3>totally concur that's exactly how I feel about it too. Yeah,

0:21:29.359 --> 0:21:36.400
<v Speaker 3>they are medications available now that if you take them.

0:21:36.680 --> 0:21:40.920
<v Speaker 2>They will save you. I mean, not only does it

0:21:41.000 --> 0:21:47.919
<v Speaker 2>save them, but it can also become undetectable, which I

0:21:47.960 --> 0:21:51.200
<v Speaker 2>think is an absolutely amazing achievement.

0:21:51.840 --> 0:21:56.000
<v Speaker 1>Yes, yeah, I'm a last test I had I was undetectable.

0:21:56.480 --> 0:21:57.160
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:21:57.520 --> 0:22:03.919
<v Speaker 1>You know, I'm not defined by HIV. However, it is

0:22:04.000 --> 0:22:08.359
<v Speaker 1>a part of my life. It does affect how I date,

0:22:09.080 --> 0:22:12.800
<v Speaker 1>and you know, I have it really in for tops

0:22:13.359 --> 0:22:17.320
<v Speaker 1>who say that they will only have intercourse with somebody

0:22:17.359 --> 0:22:21.200
<v Speaker 1>who is HIV negative. You know, I'd rather have raw

0:22:21.320 --> 0:22:25.040
<v Speaker 1>sex with a person who I knew their viral count.

0:22:25.440 --> 0:22:29.640
<v Speaker 1>But if you are going to practice unprotected sex, not

0:22:29.720 --> 0:22:32.199
<v Speaker 1>only is it important that you get tested, but you

0:22:32.240 --> 0:22:36.560
<v Speaker 1>see a physician because there is a prevention method called

0:22:36.640 --> 0:22:41.760
<v Speaker 1>PREP that your insurance may be able to provide for you.

0:22:42.920 --> 0:22:48.280
<v Speaker 1>And I would encourage you strongly to take up PREP.

0:22:48.800 --> 0:22:51.119
<v Speaker 1>You know, there was this there's a case before the

0:22:51.160 --> 0:22:56.480
<v Speaker 1>Supreme Court right now by certain Christian companies who say

0:22:56.560 --> 0:22:59.760
<v Speaker 1>they don't want to, they don't want their insurance to

0:22:59.760 --> 0:23:03.639
<v Speaker 1>pay for PREP. And that case is now before the

0:23:03.720 --> 0:23:09.160
<v Speaker 1>Supreme Court and I don't know what's going to happen there,

0:23:09.200 --> 0:23:13.680
<v Speaker 1>but if companies are allowed to cherry pick and decide

0:23:13.800 --> 0:23:17.560
<v Speaker 1>what kind of treatments they're going to fund, we're just

0:23:18.160 --> 0:23:22.879
<v Speaker 1>moving right back down that slope and people are going

0:23:22.960 --> 0:23:23.520
<v Speaker 1>to pay for that.

0:23:25.400 --> 0:23:27.800
<v Speaker 4>And got to remember too, it's not just gay people

0:23:28.640 --> 0:23:32.520
<v Speaker 4>that HIV positives. So it's a world thing that people

0:23:32.640 --> 0:23:35.159
<v Speaker 4>need to take care of themselves and educate themselves and

0:23:35.200 --> 0:23:36.640
<v Speaker 4>make sure that they stay healthy.

0:23:37.359 --> 0:23:43.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, this is not just confined to the gay community.

0:23:43.320 --> 0:23:48.960
<v Speaker 1>And that's why my message to you is get tested,

0:23:49.720 --> 0:23:53.239
<v Speaker 1>be honest about yourself, be honest with your partners, and

0:23:53.480 --> 0:23:54.280
<v Speaker 1>use PREP.

0:23:59.080 --> 0:24:01.880
<v Speaker 4>So, folks, were the end of our episode, and it's

0:24:01.960 --> 0:24:05.120
<v Speaker 4>time to ask the golden question, or should I say

0:24:05.160 --> 0:24:08.560
<v Speaker 4>silver what's the silver lining for you about your experience

0:24:08.600 --> 0:24:09.240
<v Speaker 4>with HIV?

0:24:10.640 --> 0:24:16.040
<v Speaker 3>Looking back that there are many silver linings. The first

0:24:16.280 --> 0:24:23.200
<v Speaker 3>is after learning of my diagnosis and after I had

0:24:23.560 --> 0:24:32.520
<v Speaker 3>process at a time that it was medically untreatable, and

0:24:32.600 --> 0:24:40.080
<v Speaker 3>I attended a workshop that was on meditation and visualization,

0:24:41.119 --> 0:24:50.480
<v Speaker 3>and during that workshop, I learned conclusively of the power

0:24:50.800 --> 0:24:55.280
<v Speaker 3>of the mind over the body, and if you can

0:24:55.400 --> 0:25:02.240
<v Speaker 3>learn to harness the energy of your mind, you can

0:25:02.600 --> 0:25:08.639
<v Speaker 3>deal with your body in physical ways that are astonishing.

0:25:09.560 --> 0:25:16.159
<v Speaker 3>And the second biggie was that in my process, I

0:25:16.440 --> 0:25:23.600
<v Speaker 3>made a decision to move from San Francisco to the

0:25:23.640 --> 0:25:27.000
<v Speaker 3>Palm Springs area, and.

0:25:27.000 --> 0:25:28.800
<v Speaker 2>That had to do with.

0:25:31.119 --> 0:25:36.520
<v Speaker 3>One of the recommendations that was being given to the

0:25:36.680 --> 0:25:42.120
<v Speaker 3>community was get the stress out of your life, and

0:25:42.320 --> 0:25:46.520
<v Speaker 3>so for me, that was moving from the big city

0:25:47.440 --> 0:25:54.280
<v Speaker 3>to a I guess what I'd say a gentler community.

0:25:54.880 --> 0:25:59.920
<v Speaker 3>And I have to say that my life. I've been

0:26:00.160 --> 0:26:04.760
<v Speaker 3>in the desert now thirty five years, and I think

0:26:04.920 --> 0:26:10.639
<v Speaker 3>that move has done a lot to keep me alive

0:26:11.640 --> 0:26:16.680
<v Speaker 3>for the past thirty eight years. They're healing powers here.

0:26:16.840 --> 0:26:21.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there's something about the desert that I don't know calls.

0:26:21.359 --> 0:26:25.760
<v Speaker 4>You back silver Linings. The desert it is a savior,

0:26:26.640 --> 0:26:31.120
<v Speaker 4>it really is. I sat outside almost every evening and

0:26:31.520 --> 0:26:34.760
<v Speaker 4>just look up at that sky because it scared me

0:26:34.800 --> 0:26:36.800
<v Speaker 4>when I first got here. You're living in a city

0:26:36.800 --> 0:26:39.840
<v Speaker 4>and all of a sudden there's nothing. But I have

0:26:40.040 --> 0:26:43.919
<v Speaker 4>learned to breathe. I have learned to sit and cry

0:26:44.960 --> 0:26:48.280
<v Speaker 4>from sadness and from gratitude.

0:26:48.520 --> 0:26:57.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Bill, my biggest silver lining was meeting my partner

0:26:58.000 --> 0:27:01.919
<v Speaker 2>at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, who would be

0:27:02.040 --> 0:27:07.359
<v Speaker 2>my partner for sixteen years. And I had just gone

0:27:07.480 --> 0:27:12.560
<v Speaker 2>through the seventies in San Francisco, which was the wildest

0:27:12.640 --> 0:27:16.760
<v Speaker 2>time I've ever experienced, and all of a sudden it

0:27:16.960 --> 0:27:23.360
<v Speaker 2>changed and I had a partner and we were monogamous together,

0:27:23.640 --> 0:27:28.040
<v Speaker 2>and that is the only reason that I'm here right now.

0:27:28.800 --> 0:27:33.920
<v Speaker 2>I know I would have been one of the victims

0:27:33.960 --> 0:27:37.640
<v Speaker 2>of the AIDS crisis had I not met my partner.

0:27:39.280 --> 0:27:44.560
<v Speaker 1>For me, behind every silver lining is another silver lining.

0:27:45.280 --> 0:27:51.000
<v Speaker 1>It was the most tragic irony that not only should

0:27:51.080 --> 0:27:55.040
<v Speaker 1>I have HIV, but I should also be diagnosed with

0:27:55.160 --> 0:28:00.840
<v Speaker 1>a rare autoimmune condition. You know, I've had four near

0:28:00.920 --> 0:28:05.640
<v Speaker 1>death experiences in the last five years, So every day

0:28:05.720 --> 0:28:09.480
<v Speaker 1>is a blessing. And I realized that my life is

0:28:09.480 --> 0:28:13.000
<v Speaker 1>really not my own anymore. I'm part of something much larger,

0:28:13.359 --> 0:28:15.919
<v Speaker 1>and I learned who my friends are.

0:28:16.160 --> 0:28:18.960
<v Speaker 4>Thank you for joining us for such a vulnerable and

0:28:19.200 --> 0:28:20.840
<v Speaker 4>heartfelt conversation.

0:28:22.200 --> 0:28:27.800
<v Speaker 3>That's a rapport today. Silwer Linings is a production of

0:28:28.000 --> 0:28:34.880
<v Speaker 3>Iheart's Ruby's Studio and The Outspoken Network. We're your hosts

0:28:34.920 --> 0:28:40.440
<v Speaker 3>Bill Lyons, Robert Brieves, M Peterson, and Jesse Martin. Our

0:28:40.560 --> 0:28:47.480
<v Speaker 3>executive producer is cier Kaiser. The episode was written by

0:28:47.640 --> 0:28:53.560
<v Speaker 3>Ryan Amador with post production by Eric Zeiler. Our theme

0:28:53.680 --> 0:29:00.239
<v Speaker 3>music was composed by MaTx Hirchinau, with audio direction and

0:29:00.400 --> 0:29:05.320
<v Speaker 3>designed by Matt Stillo. And if you're having fun with us,

0:29:05.400 --> 0:29:10.560
<v Speaker 3>please subscribe the follow along and don't forget to rate

0:29:10.680 --> 0:29:15.920
<v Speaker 3>and review the show wherever you get your podcast. Thanks

0:29:16.000 --> 0:29:21.600
<v Speaker 3>for listening. That disco music gets into your blood.

0:29:23.440 --> 0:29:24.520
<v Speaker 4>Pauper's manacle.

0:29:24.960 --> 0:29:29.720
<v Speaker 1>What I said, guys, we're closing in fifteen minutes, Wash

0:29:29.760 --> 0:29:31.880
<v Speaker 1>your mouths out and get out of here.