Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to
Speaker 1: the podcast, new listeners, old listeners. Wherever you are in
Speaker 1: the world, you guys know the deal.
Speaker 2: It is so great to have you here.
Speaker 1: Back for another episode, as we, of course break down
Speaker 1: the psychology of our twenties. There is a very famous saying,
Speaker 1: at least I think it's famous, that if it was easy, everybody.
Speaker 2: Would be doing it.
Speaker 1: And when I was in university, I used to have
Speaker 1: that printed out on like a piece of paper. I
Speaker 1: think I even wrote it out and I had it
Speaker 1: blue tacked on my wall above my desk, and when
Speaker 1: I was studying for exams, when I was working through assignments,
Speaker 1: it was kind of like my go to phrase for motivation,
Speaker 1: to like embrace the hard stuff, to appreciate that hard
Speaker 1: things bring about the best rewards. That kind of gist. However,
Speaker 1: as I have gotten older, and I was thinking about
Speaker 1: that quote the other day, and this is what has
Speaker 1: inspired that episode. As I've gotten older, I've sort of
Speaker 1: revived there is my thinking around this. You know, yes, definitely,
Speaker 1: some of the best things in life do demand a
Speaker 1: lot of our effort, time, energy, attention, But does that
Speaker 1: necessarily mean that they need to be unenjoyable or difficult.
Speaker 1: Does it always have to be such like a mental slug?
Speaker 1: I think those words and like concepts tend to get
Speaker 1: or melted together when we talk about doing hard things,
Speaker 1: we imagine that they have to be almost painful. I
Speaker 1: also think, you know, with that quote, there is also
Speaker 1: this underlying secondary sense that maybe you and I we
Speaker 1: don't deserve success if we don't almost suffer for it,
Speaker 1: if we don't strive for it, for it, if it
Speaker 1: came to us easily today. I want to talk about that.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about this idea of how we
Speaker 1: can train our brain to do hard things by offering
Speaker 1: you a different approach, a different formula or understanding, one
Speaker 1: in which hard things become easier using some of these
Speaker 1: principles of psychology that mean that we find difficult tasks
Speaker 1: less mentally taxing, we find it less difficult to start,
Speaker 1: We appreciate the rewards more. You know, all motivation, our
Speaker 1: desire to do anything big or small, even the most
Speaker 1: mundane of tasks, it all starts in the brain, and
Speaker 1: it all starts with how we perceive how difficult the
Speaker 1: thing in front of us is, and how we perceive
Speaker 1: the outcome and the rewards of our hard effort. That
Speaker 1: is actually something that we can influence. We can influence
Speaker 1: how our brain kind of perceives all of these components
Speaker 1: and mean that the hard, difficult things that all of
Speaker 1: us have to do in our twenties, like the things
Speaker 1: that are just so frustrating and annoying that we often
Speaker 1: put off, become less of mature.
Speaker 2: I will also.
Speaker 1: Say our brain does like a challenge, even when it's
Speaker 1: a bit physically mentally painful. That's something that I think
Speaker 1: sometimes we forget when we just keep taking the easy route,
Speaker 1: which I'm definitely guilty of. The New York Marathon. As
Speaker 1: I'm recording this was I think a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1: I love the New York Marathon, and every time I
Speaker 1: watch it, I think, why does anyone want to do that?
Speaker 1: And the answer is that the feeling of doing hard
Speaker 1: things that exert us is something that we actually value
Speaker 1: as humans. That is something that actually we do need
Speaker 1: more of in our lives. It all comes down to
Speaker 1: this thing known as the effort paradox. The more effort
Speaker 1: we put into something, the more we value it. That's
Speaker 1: why you know, you value the crappy mug that you
Speaker 1: made at a pottery class over the perfect mug that
Speaker 1: you got at ikea. The end of a hard project
Speaker 1: is valued more than the outcome of an e one,
Speaker 1: and it actually does make our life feel more fulfilling.
Speaker 1: We feel proud of ourselves, and we just reap the rewards.
Speaker 1: So today, let us break down exactly how we can
Speaker 1: use the principles of behavioral psychology mainly but also neuroscience
Speaker 1: to do the hard things, to start the hard routines,
Speaker 1: especially in our twenties, when we can reap a lot
Speaker 1: of lifelong rewards from getting into the habit, from biting
Speaker 1: the bullets. So, without further ado, let's break down the
Speaker 1: psychology of how you and I can train our brains
Speaker 1: to do just that. The journey to completing or starting
Speaker 1: anything hard all actually has the exact same start line,
Speaker 1: and the start line is going from doing nothing to
Speaker 1: doing something. And I think a lot of us know
Speaker 1: that that transition, that jump from doing nothing to something
Speaker 1: is the hardest and it stops a lot of us
Speaker 1: from ever really beginning, even if we really really want
Speaker 1: to see where something's going to take us. That is
Speaker 1: why my first biggest tip for how we can train
Speaker 1: our brain to do hard things is the five minute rule.
Speaker 1: You know, after you begin, the first five minutes of
Speaker 1: anything is going to be the hardest because you have
Speaker 1: to dig deep and find the motivation to just begin
Speaker 1: and to deal with that tension from going from doing
Speaker 1: nothing to doing something. And a big part of why
Speaker 1: that is so daunting is that it feels like when
Speaker 1: we begin a new task, or we begin a new routine,
Speaker 1: or we're like, Okay, I'm committed to going to the
Speaker 1: gym every single morning, or I'm committed to in this
Speaker 1: moment right now, finishing my assignment and I need to
Speaker 1: work on it in this moment right now. Absolutely have
Speaker 1: to do it, even though I don't want to do it.
Speaker 1: It often is like, Okay, by telling myself that I
Speaker 1: need to do that, I now am committing to a
Speaker 1: lot more than just a couple of minutes. I'm committed
Speaker 1: to a whole process, a whole period of time where
Speaker 1: I have to be focused on this task. And it's
Speaker 1: that huge mountain and the idea of climbing that mountain
Speaker 1: knowing it's going to take a while. That means that
Speaker 1: we put things off because of the time burden. Instead,
Speaker 1: we want to overcome our brain's natural tendency to want
Speaker 1: to avoid discomfort that comes with the beginning of the task.
Speaker 1: By saying I will just do this for five minutes.
Speaker 1: It's not actually a trick. You are only going to
Speaker 1: do the thing for five minutes unless after you have,
Speaker 1: you know, lasted that period of time, you feel better
Speaker 1: about the thing. You feel better about doing it. If
Speaker 1: you're five minutes into your run and you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: I've done five minutes, I can stop. I am allowed
Speaker 1: to stop because I've done better than doing nothing. But
Speaker 1: you know, maybe I'll just do another minute. Maybe I'll
Speaker 1: do another minute. After that, you see that you have
Speaker 1: overcome the first mental barrier. You've overcome that first point
Speaker 1: of tension. This is just such a simple, accessible, cognitive
Speaker 1: behavioral strategy, and the reason that it works so much
Speaker 1: is also because it essentially tricks us into not being
Speaker 1: able to procrastinate. Now, one of the foundations of procrastination
Speaker 1: A lot of people think assume that it's laziness. It's
Speaker 1: actually not. Its perfectionism. If you are an overachiever, you
Speaker 1: are a big thinker, you are a perfectionist. The beginning
Speaker 1: of a task is always going to be the hardest
Speaker 1: because it's in that moment that you realize how much
Speaker 1: opportunity in space there is to fail, how much space
Speaker 1: there is to do it wrong, how much space there
Speaker 1: is to be criticized, to not live up to your expectations.
Speaker 1: That is scary, and that is what's causing you to
Speaker 1: procrastinate and causing you to put off this reality that
Speaker 1: you're so fearful of. But the five minute rule that
Speaker 1: cuts that because it looks at this perfection as part
Speaker 1: of our brain and says, actually, like, you can clock
Speaker 1: off for this because anything that I do in five
Speaker 1: minutes is not going to be perfect. So great, I
Speaker 1: know that that's amazing. I can just actually ignore my
Speaker 1: perfectionism for this moment and just give it a go.
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be perfect, It definitely doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be done. And by the time you have gotten
Speaker 1: that momentum, suddenly your perfectionism is kind of like trying
Speaker 1: to play catch up. It's like, hey, wait, you tricked me.
Speaker 1: I thought that we were like not actually going to
Speaker 1: do this today. I thought that we were going to
Speaker 1: like give it a break, Like I thought that, you know,
Speaker 1: I'd stopped you, it's like, actually, no, when you start
Speaker 1: giving it a go, when you get on like the
Speaker 1: fast train, you start seeing that it's easier, you start
Speaker 1: seeing that actually you're doing better than you expected perhaps,
Speaker 1: and you also start realizing that progress is it's just important.
Speaker 1: You've already made a dint and now you have something
Speaker 1: to work with. So the five minute rule. Anything that
Speaker 1: you know is going to be hard, just say you
Speaker 1: have to do it for five minutes. And like I
Speaker 1: said before, you do only have to do it for
Speaker 1: five minutes. So if you're at the end of that
Speaker 1: period of time and you're like, okay, I want to stop,
Speaker 1: that's fine. You're allowed to stop, but at least you
Speaker 1: did it. My second tip, and this one is possibly
Speaker 1: one of my favorite strategies. I use this all the time.
Speaker 1: When I know I have to do something that is daunting,
Speaker 1: that is challenging, that I don't want to do, I
Speaker 1: picture the best person I know at that thing. I
Speaker 1: picture them doing it. I think about them, I think
Speaker 1: about how they hold themselves, I think about how they
Speaker 1: would go about it.
Speaker 2: It's a really.
Speaker 1: Powerful form of mental imagery, and when we concoct these
Speaker 1: mental images in our brain, it serves as a form
Speaker 1: of motivation. So, for example, anytime I need to do
Speaker 1: public speaking, I always think about my mom, because my
Speaker 1: mom is absolutely excellent at it. She's amazing, And I
Speaker 1: think about like almost stepping into her shoes, stepping into
Speaker 1: her outfit, believing that I am her. And it's that admiration,
Speaker 1: but also the fact that she is set an example
Speaker 1: that I can almost copy. That makes me feel a
Speaker 1: lot more capable. It's almost like I actually, don't you know,
Speaker 1: I don't have to do all of this myself. Someone
Speaker 1: else that I know, who I respect, who is great
Speaker 1: at this, has already done it for me. All I
Speaker 1: need to do is emulate them. All I need to
Speaker 1: do is copy them. I also, I will say, do
Speaker 1: this at the gym all the time, like as a
Speaker 1: way to stick to the hard parts of like my
Speaker 1: gym workouts and my gym routine. But instead of thinking
Speaker 1: about the best person I know at the gym, which
Speaker 1: to be honest, would probably also be my mum, which
Speaker 1: is crazy because she's just a legend. But instead of
Speaker 1: thinking about someone I really admire and copying them and
Speaker 1: thinking about what they would do, I actually also visualize
Speaker 1: this person in my mind called Jim Gemma or Elite Gemma.
Speaker 1: And Elite Gemma is like this really focused version of
Speaker 1: myself that I've created, and I think about what she
Speaker 1: would do. I think about how confident she would be.
Speaker 1: I think about what moves she would do, what her
Speaker 1: routine would look like, how she would go about it.
Speaker 1: Would she care about those other people looking at her? Know?
Speaker 2: She wouldn't. And Elite Gemma is who I.
Speaker 1: Step into in those moments where I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: really want to do this, but she would and I
Speaker 1: have to listen to what she would do here, so
Speaker 1: I need to go. So there is a great study
Speaker 1: from twenty nineteen on this exact topic and it's titled
Speaker 1: mental imagery as a motivational amplifier to promote activities. And
Speaker 1: I love this amplifier. It doesn't give you all the
Speaker 1: motivation to begin with, but it takes that tiny bit
Speaker 1: of sensation in you that wants to do something and
Speaker 1: says you are capable, you are able to do this.
Speaker 1: So this study, it showed that when participants visualized themselves
Speaker 1: doing hard activities or hard things and then being successful
Speaker 1: or finishing the task, this was associated with higher activity
Speaker 1: completion compared to those who were just given a task
Speaker 1: and told to go about it. The other reason, and
Speaker 1: I guess the other way in which I think mental
Speaker 1: imagery is really important here is that it is a
Speaker 1: great source of bravery, and it is a great way
Speaker 1: to fake it till you make it. And I'm going
Speaker 1: to give another example here of how I used a
Speaker 1: very similar visualization technique when I was trying to get
Speaker 1: over my fear of flying. I would imagine that I
Speaker 1: was someone famous, and I would really picture being this
Speaker 1: famous person who caught all these planes all the time.
Speaker 1: This was like a part of my fast, luxurious life.
Speaker 1: And just rehearsing that and thinking about that over and
Speaker 1: over again, creating that mental loop and repetition, I am
Speaker 1: this person, I am emulating this person. It made me
Speaker 1: feel insanely powerful, insanely insanely capable, and it was a
Speaker 1: complete game changer. So that is a way that you
Speaker 1: can use your ability, your very amazing special human ability,
Speaker 1: to create mental images in your mind. You can use
Speaker 1: that to trick yourself into feeling more capable. You've got
Speaker 1: to remember your mind is the source of all your
Speaker 1: beliefs about how able you are, and how brave you
Speaker 1: are and how courageous you are. So if you feed
Speaker 1: it all of this like artificial confidence that is based
Speaker 1: on how someone else does things, or how a future
Speaker 1: or an amazing version of yourself does things, it's gonna
Speaker 1: eat that up and it's not going to know the
Speaker 1: difference between that and a negative or self doubting thought.
Speaker 1: So it's an incredible technique. Let's move on from this
Speaker 1: and talk about mood, talk about emotions. So if you
Speaker 1: have got something on your to do list, then you
Speaker 1: have been avoiding for a while because it is hard,
Speaker 1: because it is boring, because you just simply don't want
Speaker 1: to do it. You have got to choose the right
Speaker 1: mood to start tackling that. You've got to choose the
Speaker 1: right mood to implement your five minutes. A twenty sixteen
Speaker 1: study found that when people are upset, they are less
Speaker 1: likely to try and do hard things. Very common sense,
Speaker 1: I understand. Sometimes we do just need like a good
Speaker 1: old fashioned psychological study to prove what we already know.
Speaker 1: And the explanation behind why this is the case is
Speaker 1: also quite simple. When you're in a bad mood, all
Speaker 1: of your mental resources are at a lower point, they're
Speaker 1: all kind of plummeting, right, So you're not going to
Speaker 1: feel as motivated, You're not going to feel like you
Speaker 1: have any energy. You're also your mind is going to
Speaker 1: look at this hard task and it's going to make
Speaker 1: it feel a lot bigger and a lot more difficult,
Speaker 1: a lot more challenging. As a way to convince you
Speaker 1: to rest, convince you to get yourself back to a
Speaker 1: positive mental state by not putting any more pressure on
Speaker 1: yourself as it is during those times, that is not
Speaker 1: the time when you want to start doing the hard thing.
Speaker 1: That is not the time when you want to start
Speaker 1: doing your chores. That is not the time when you
Speaker 1: want to, you know, suddenly handle your taxes after you've
Speaker 1: had like a really long day at work, you've missed
Speaker 1: your train, you're having a fight with your friend, there's
Speaker 1: not enough food in the fridge. No, because also another
Speaker 1: element of that is that you will end up resenting
Speaker 1: the activity even more when you have to do it
Speaker 1: when you're in a bad mood, and if you're trying
Speaker 1: to train yourself into a habit, but every time you
Speaker 1: go about doing the habit or practicing the behavior that
Speaker 1: is associated with it, every time you do that if
Speaker 1: you are in a terrible mood, Guess what's going to
Speaker 1: become associated the terrible mood and the behavior. And it's
Speaker 1: going to become almost like this pattern or this link
Speaker 1: or this relationship in your brain that when you think
Speaker 1: about the task, when you think about the whatever it
Speaker 1: is thing that you need to do, your brain's going
Speaker 1: to be like, huh, every time we do that, we're
Speaker 1: in a bad mood, and it doesn't see like the
Speaker 1: correlation or the causation points. Sorry, it doesn't see like
Speaker 1: the chicken or the egg problem, which one came first.
Speaker 1: So it's really important to build positive associations when we
Speaker 1: are doing hard things. I'm going to use the gym
Speaker 1: example again and just think that it's like the easiest
Speaker 1: because it's like a behavior where you go to the
Speaker 1: same place, and it's like a something that a lot
Speaker 1: of us are probably going to be focused on in
Speaker 1: the new years. If you are in a really bad mood,
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you something that is probably counterintuitive.
Speaker 1: If you are in a really bad mood and one
Speaker 1: of your long time goals is to go to the
Speaker 1: gym more often, actually don't go to the gym during
Speaker 1: those times. Some people would argue that the endorphins are
Speaker 1: going to make you feel better, YadA, YadA, YadA. In
Speaker 1: some ways, I think that is the case. But if
Speaker 1: you're going to go to the gym and just do
Speaker 1: a really crappy workout and you're not going to feel
Speaker 1: like you push yourself, you're not even going to get
Speaker 1: to that place of an endorphin high. Actually, what you're
Speaker 1: doing before you even get there is associating the bad mood.
Speaker 2: With the behavior.
Speaker 1: So when you are in the best mood, you've had
Speaker 1: a great day, you're feeling motivated, that's when you've got
Speaker 1: to almost like slide in the hard tasks. It's like
Speaker 1: when parents like sneak vegetables into like meatballs or into
Speaker 1: like cookies. That's what you're doing here. Someone said to
Speaker 1: me when I first talk to them about this, like
Speaker 1: that's such a waste of a good mood, Like why
Speaker 1: would I do that? But actually completing a hard task
Speaker 1: when you are already in a good mood has been
Speaker 1: shown to elevate that mood even further, and there is
Speaker 1: a continuation, So you feel really good in the moment,
Speaker 1: but then you also continue to feel good in the minutes, hours,
Speaker 1: even sometimes days afterwards, maybe in part because of relief,
Speaker 1: like oh gosh, finally I did it. That's done, but
Speaker 1: also in part because of a sense of pride. You know,
Speaker 1: how often do we actually challenge ourselves? And seriously, when
Speaker 1: was the last time you put a lot of effort
Speaker 1: into something and it took a lot of commitment from you,
Speaker 1: and there were times when you doubted yourself and you
Speaker 1: didn't really want to do it. When was the last
Speaker 1: time you did that? Because as an adult, I do
Speaker 1: think that that's not as common anymore. It might be
Speaker 1: in like a workplace environment, but when it comes to
Speaker 1: your personal life, we very often are very We don't
Speaker 1: tend to often you know, just jumping all over my
Speaker 1: words there. We don't often tend to changing it up again,
Speaker 1: We don't often tend to to actually push ourselves. So
Speaker 1: I think that it's really important to actually give yourself
Speaker 1: the opportunity to do that, to give yourself the confidence booster,
Speaker 1: to give yourself that further amplifier to your mood. Already,
Speaker 1: we're going to take a short little break because obviously
Speaker 1: I need to have a drink of water since I
Speaker 1: am just tumbling all over my words here, But when
Speaker 1: we return, we're going to talk about how you can
Speaker 1: fall in love with the process and the different kinds
Speaker 1: of extrinsic, intrinsic and integrated motivation that you can use
Speaker 1: to do hard things. Stay with us, we'll be right back.
Speaker 1: There is a psychological theory that when we don't just
Speaker 1: fall in love with the result, but we fall in
Speaker 1: love with the process, we actually perform better and we
Speaker 1: get further. And this theory is known as learned industriousness.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing about doing everything for like the big
Speaker 1: golden in finish line, right, anything hard. You are just
Speaker 1: thinking about what it's going to be like when it's done,
Speaker 1: when it's over, when you have the reward. It actually
Speaker 1: takes a while to get there. And along that path,
Speaker 1: along that route, there's probably not going to be a
Speaker 1: lot of, you know, encouragement to spur you on. People
Speaker 1: might not believe in you. The thing that you're doing
Speaker 1: might just be very mundane. No one's going to be
Speaker 1: celebrating you shouting like yay, you've got this. Maybe there's
Speaker 1: not like any reward that you can even provide yourself
Speaker 1: during that time. So if you are doing it all
Speaker 1: for the final outcome you are going to unfortunately probably
Speaker 1: lose steam. So what this theory says is that individuals
Speaker 1: who are reinforced for exerting high effort on a task,
Speaker 1: they don't just fall in love with the outcome. They actually,
Speaker 1: in some ways get hooked or get addicted purely to
Speaker 1: the sensation of performing highly, purely to the sensation of
Speaker 1: exerting themselves. So we flip the whole narrative away from
Speaker 1: the physical, tangible outcome and towards a love for like
Speaker 1: the everyday hard actions that get us there. So how
Speaker 1: do we do that? Well?
Speaker 2: A few ways.
Speaker 1: Firstly is by really romanticizing the process, really falling in
Speaker 1: love and getting quite sentimental about what it feels like
Speaker 1: to perform a task day and day out, what it
Speaker 1: feels like to be working towards your goals. Like, what
Speaker 1: a privilege that is, how romantic it is. What's that
Speaker 1: story going to look like? What's that going to feel like?
Speaker 1: I did this a lot when I was writing my
Speaker 1: book and I was staying up late and I felt
Speaker 1: very stressed. But instead of being like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this just sucks and I'm just so tired, I would
Speaker 1: like imagine that I was Ernest Hemingway or like a
Speaker 1: famous author working into the night in Paris on my
Speaker 1: book with a glass of wine. And I was like
Speaker 1: this tortured author poet type, and I created this whole
Speaker 1: image that made me really feel like it was like fun.
Speaker 1: It was fun to not so much suffer, but it
Speaker 1: was fun to strive. It was fun to work hard.
Speaker 1: There was like this glamour associated with it. There was
Speaker 1: this romanticism that made it special and fun, and like
Speaker 1: I have actually like very fond memories of those times.
Speaker 2: You know, even when it was really really.
Speaker 1: Late, it felt nice knowing that I could push myself.
Speaker 1: Another way of doing this is by really noticing the
Speaker 1: signs of progress and letting them serve as the reward
Speaker 1: to kind of further fuel your fire. So the feeling
Speaker 1: of sore muscles, the feeling of being really mentally tired
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, but like super fulfilled
Speaker 1: and super satisfied, and like falling falling asleep and just
Speaker 1: feeling really great about yourself. The feeling of seeing I
Speaker 1: don't know, your art get better, seeing your writing get better,
Speaker 1: seeing your grades get better. That is a way of
Speaker 1: bringing about learned industriousness. It's why I really One of
Speaker 1: the things I really recommend and that I love when
Speaker 1: people do this is when they set up Instagram pages
Speaker 1: for their projects, like their marathons or an art project
Speaker 1: or the like. When they're learning your language, or when
Speaker 1: they're renovating their house, like setting up a progress page
Speaker 1: or a project page. You can really see how things
Speaker 1: get better and improve and get bigger and larger and
Speaker 1: dreams come true.
Speaker 2: My god, I sound so.
Speaker 1: Cliche, but you really can see that day in and
Speaker 1: day out, it gets better every single day. Finally, the
Speaker 1: best way to really promote learned industriousness, and the way
Speaker 1: that really aligns best with the theory, is to just
Speaker 1: simply reinforce your effort through physical reward. So what this
Speaker 1: really relies on is something known as the hedonic principle.
Speaker 1: As humans as creatures, as people with brains, so we
Speaker 1: are wired towards things that make us feel good, and
Speaker 1: we are wired to avoid things that make us feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Super simple principle, right, But an easy way to make
Speaker 1: an uncomfortable thing feel good is by maximizing the pleasure
Speaker 1: and the reward we get from it. So the more
Speaker 1: candy I don't know, like, the more candy you offer
Speaker 1: to a child, the more excited they're going to be
Speaker 1: to go to the dentist, even if they hate the dentist.
Speaker 1: The more treats you give a puppy, like, the more
Speaker 1: obedient they become. Allegedly, that's always backfired and made my
Speaker 1: puppies and dogs super fat. But you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: You can also do this for yourself by providing like
Speaker 1: physical rewards, artificial rewards that you give yourself in lieu
Speaker 1: of the bigger reward. One way we see people do
Speaker 1: this is by creating a schedule for positive reinforcement. That's
Speaker 1: an incredible behavioral change strategy. So people do this for
Speaker 1: savings goals lot. I see this a lot on like
Speaker 1: TikTok and Instagram, and I love seeing these every like
Speaker 1: one two hundred dollars, one thousand dollars, they save, twenty dollars,
Speaker 1: fifty dollars, whatever it is goes into buying something that
Speaker 1: they really really want, so that there is that reinforcement
Speaker 1: that's going along with the hard work.
Speaker 2: We all kind of.
Speaker 1: Do want a special little thing every now and again.
Speaker 1: We want a break every now and again, We want
Speaker 1: a sweet treat every now and again factor that into
Speaker 1: how you are going about your goals, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: especially if it's a goal that is really based on
Speaker 1: a deficit of something, so having less saving money, having
Speaker 1: less sweet treats, having less downtime because you're working really,
Speaker 1: really hard, you can use that as a form of
Speaker 1: motivation to make you want to work harder so that
Speaker 1: you finally get the reward. We see like studies on
Speaker 1: this with rats all the time. You know, the more
Speaker 1: that they are reinforced in a structured way, so you know,
Speaker 1: they finish a task, they get a treat, They finish
Speaker 1: the next task that's a little bit harder, they get
Speaker 1: a treat. The more that there is that structured reward,
Speaker 1: they end up performing better. They're more efficient, they tire
Speaker 1: less easily. And let's just say this that it's not
Speaker 1: like a factor to do with energy, like the reward
Speaker 1: is sometimes like they get to see their friend, or
Speaker 1: the reward is like a pat like it's not always
Speaker 1: food based, but they actually keep going for longer. The
Speaker 1: reason this is the case and scientifically neurologically, the reason
Speaker 1: this is the case all comes down to dopamine. I
Speaker 1: think we all know like dopamine is the happy chemical.
Speaker 1: Dopamine is also the motivational chemical. It is the chemical
Speaker 1: that gets you to do things. So if you want
Speaker 1: to increase the dopamine that you are accessing when doing
Speaker 1: hard things, you've got to provide some form of catalyst
Speaker 1: for the release of that, some form of trigger, some
Speaker 1: of reward. It will make you happier, but it will
Speaker 1: also make you more motivated.
Speaker 2: There you go, the more you know.
Speaker 1: So when we do this, it's actually what creates intrinsic motivation.
Speaker 1: This is the first form of motivation we're going to
Speaker 1: be talking about. Intrinsic motivation is when you do things
Speaker 1: just because you love them and just because you find
Speaker 1: them enjoyable. So you don't have to force yourself to
Speaker 1: do things you love, right like I wouldn't have to
Speaker 1: force you to go to the beach, or I wouldn't
Speaker 1: have to force you to like have a wine with
Speaker 1: your friends, or force you to read your favorite book
Speaker 1: because you just like doing it. And one way that
Speaker 1: we can make it so that we enjoy doing something,
Speaker 1: which is the highest form of motivation for actually doing it,
Speaker 1: is by associating positive experiences and reward with performance, determination,
Speaker 1: commitment with you know, doing the thing with being persistent. Now,
Speaker 1: I know what you're probably thinking, how do I fall
Speaker 1: in love with doing something that is just actually so
Speaker 1: frustrating and annoying and something that I.
Speaker 2: Really don't want to do?
Speaker 1: Like how do I enjoy my job that involves firing people?
Speaker 1: How do I fall in love with the process there?
Speaker 1: Or how do I fall in love with my painful
Speaker 1: IVF treatment you know that just sucks? Or like how
Speaker 1: do I become intrinsically motivated to enjoy cleaning my toilet?
Speaker 1: There's just some things where this isn't possible, Like we
Speaker 1: can't use this heroonic or pleasure principle. So the next
Speaker 1: best thing that you can aim for is integrated motivation.
Speaker 1: So this occurs when a behavior is performed to gain
Speaker 1: both an external reward, but it also inlignes aligns with
Speaker 1: your sense of identity, your sense of your internal sense
Speaker 1: of value and interests, and who you are as a person.
Speaker 1: We can make our motivation to complete a task attach
Speaker 1: to our identity and it's super super powerful. You know,
Speaker 1: I clean the toilet because I am someone who is conscientious,
Speaker 1: and I'm someone who cares about cleanliness, and I care
Speaker 1: about having a nice environment, and because I am someone
Speaker 1: who cares about the details. Even though I don't enjoy this,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it because it reinforces something that
Speaker 1: I find important about my identity. I go through IVF
Speaker 1: treatment even when it's painful, even when it's hard, because
Speaker 1: I want to be a parent. That is something I
Speaker 1: have always felt is a deep part of my life purpose.
Speaker 1: So I will endure the hard part of this journey
Speaker 1: because the outcome is something that is significant for my identity.
Speaker 1: The second best way that you can do hard things
Speaker 1: is to get super clear on the why and make
Speaker 1: a really really big picture, like give it a meaning
Speaker 1: as big as life itself. Like I study because I
Speaker 1: believe in creating a better life for myself. And I
Speaker 1: someone who is a hard worker. So this behavior, although
Speaker 1: it is hard, is something that reinforces what I believe
Speaker 1: about myself. It reinforces myself concept, it reinforces my confidence.
Speaker 1: This is who I am. So who would I be
Speaker 1: if I didn't do this behavior? Who would I be
Speaker 1: if I didn't do these hard things? This is just
Speaker 1: so so powerful for taking something that is just you know,
Speaker 1: a random thing on your to do list, or maybe
Speaker 1: not taking something that you have, you know, mixed feelings towards.
Speaker 1: It's uncomfortable, it's difficult, and it becomes this thing, this
Speaker 1: gateway to being a more true, authentic version of yourself.
Speaker 2: And of course you.
Speaker 1: Are going to want to do that hard thing over
Speaker 1: the hard thing that is just bothersome, over the hard
Speaker 1: thing that you have no meaning attached to. Finally, you know,
Speaker 1: if that doesn't work, if the intrinsic motivation doesn't work,
Speaker 1: and the like integrated motiv systems don't work, you can
Speaker 1: always rely on extrinsic motivation, and that is basically doing
Speaker 1: things publicly, doing things in a public setting in front
Speaker 1: of others, promising others that you're going to do it
Speaker 1: as a way to make you feel like you're accountable,
Speaker 1: make you feel like their eyes on you. This is
Speaker 1: all rooted in social psychology. When we think that people
Speaker 1: are watching, we tend to behave better, We tend to
Speaker 1: put on our best behavior. You can use those same
Speaker 1: principles to force yourself to do hard things. One of
Speaker 1: my friends does this in an excellent way. She studies
Speaker 1: in very public places because it makes her feel almost
Speaker 1: embarrassed to go on her phone, like the acknowledgment that
Speaker 1: someone could be watching her and someone might be like,
Speaker 1: oh god, she's going on her phone, Like that's not good.
Speaker 2: I thought she was studying.
Speaker 1: Yes, sometimes it might not be the best for certain
Speaker 1: goals or certain behaviors, but in terms of things where
Speaker 1: you're like, I just need to get get this done,
Speaker 1: and I need someone who you know, a stranger, doesn't
Speaker 1: even know me. I just need their presence to make
Speaker 1: me feel obligated to do this incredibly powerful. That was
Speaker 1: my final tip for the day. We talked about intrinsic, integrated,
Speaker 1: and external or extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic is the best actually
Speaker 1: finding a way to enjoy or fall in love with
Speaker 1: the process. Secondly, you can find a way to make
Speaker 1: the activity a part or a reinforcer of an important
Speaker 1: part of your identity. And then if all all that fails,
Speaker 1: you know, the flood gates roll open. You can rely
Speaker 1: on the judgment of others less and ideal, but sometimes important.
Speaker 1: I really hope that this episode has given you some motivation.
Speaker 1: You know, we've got one month left of this year.
Speaker 1: We've got so much going on. We have a lot
Speaker 1: of goals that we might want to achieve and we
Speaker 1: also might be like preparing for next year. So I
Speaker 1: think these strategies are really really doable, and they're not
Speaker 1: about discipline. They're not about like working yourself to the bone,
Speaker 1: They're not about burnout and exhaustion.
Speaker 2: They are small things.
Speaker 1: That you can do mentally psychologically to be more productive
Speaker 1: and less busy and to reach your goals faster by
Speaker 1: essentially like tricking how our brain works and tricking our psychology.
Speaker 1: So if you did enjoy this episode, please make sure
Speaker 1: that you have left a five star review. If you
Speaker 1: leave a review on Apple as well, I'm looking at
Speaker 1: all of them at the moment, I'm like grabbing some
Speaker 1: out for a little post at the end.
Speaker 2: Of the year.
Speaker 1: I would really appreciate if you could leave some kind
Speaker 1: words there. Also, make sure you have pre ordered the book.
Speaker 1: I know I've been kind of not on the ball
Speaker 1: with reminding you guys, but Yeah comes out next year,
Speaker 1: and there will be a link in the podcast episode description.
Speaker 1: Even if you just want to check out the cover,
Speaker 1: that's totally fine. I just appreciate any support that you
Speaker 1: are giving me this like crazy, amazing time in my life.
Speaker 1: Make sure you were following us on Instagram, at that
Speaker 1: Psychology podcast, And until next time, stay safe, stay kind,
Speaker 1: be gentle to yourself, and we will talk very very soon.