1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: the podcast, new listeners, old listeners. Wherever you are in 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: the world, you guys know the deal. 4 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:11,400 Speaker 2: It is so great to have you here. 5 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: Back for another episode, as we, of course break down 6 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 1: the psychology of our twenties. There is a very famous saying, 7 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 1: at least I think it's famous, that if it was easy, everybody. 8 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 2: Would be doing it. 9 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,400 Speaker 1: And when I was in university, I used to have 10 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 1: that printed out on like a piece of paper. I 11 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 1: think I even wrote it out and I had it 12 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: blue tacked on my wall above my desk, and when 13 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: I was studying for exams, when I was working through assignments, 14 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 1: it was kind of like my go to phrase for motivation, 15 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:46,840 Speaker 1: to like embrace the hard stuff, to appreciate that hard 16 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:51,240 Speaker 1: things bring about the best rewards. That kind of gist. However, 17 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,200 Speaker 1: as I have gotten older, and I was thinking about 18 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: that quote the other day, and this is what has 19 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: inspired that episode. As I've gotten older, I've sort of 20 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 1: revived there is my thinking around this. You know, yes, definitely, 21 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: some of the best things in life do demand a 22 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:10,039 Speaker 1: lot of our effort, time, energy, attention, But does that 23 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:15,360 Speaker 1: necessarily mean that they need to be unenjoyable or difficult. 24 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: Does it always have to be such like a mental slug? 25 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: I think those words and like concepts tend to get 26 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: or melted together when we talk about doing hard things, 27 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,760 Speaker 1: we imagine that they have to be almost painful. I 28 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: also think, you know, with that quote, there is also 29 00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 1: this underlying secondary sense that maybe you and I we 30 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 1: don't deserve success if we don't almost suffer for it, 31 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: if we don't strive for it, for it, if it 32 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: came to us easily today. I want to talk about that. 33 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: I want to talk about this idea of how we 34 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 1: can train our brain to do hard things by offering 35 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 1: you a different approach, a different formula or understanding, one 36 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 1: in which hard things become easier using some of these 37 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:14,640 Speaker 1: principles of psychology that mean that we find difficult tasks 38 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 1: less mentally taxing, we find it less difficult to start, 39 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: We appreciate the rewards more. You know, all motivation, our 40 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: desire to do anything big or small, even the most 41 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: mundane of tasks, it all starts in the brain, and 42 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: it all starts with how we perceive how difficult the 43 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: thing in front of us is, and how we perceive 44 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 1: the outcome and the rewards of our hard effort. That 45 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 1: is actually something that we can influence. We can influence 46 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 1: how our brain kind of perceives all of these components 47 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: and mean that the hard, difficult things that all of 48 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:53,640 Speaker 1: us have to do in our twenties, like the things 49 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,800 Speaker 1: that are just so frustrating and annoying that we often 50 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: put off, become less of mature. 51 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 2: I will also. 52 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: Say our brain does like a challenge, even when it's 53 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:07,399 Speaker 1: a bit physically mentally painful. That's something that I think 54 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 1: sometimes we forget when we just keep taking the easy route, 55 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,799 Speaker 1: which I'm definitely guilty of. The New York Marathon. As 56 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,919 Speaker 1: I'm recording this was I think a couple of weeks ago. 57 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: I love the New York Marathon, and every time I 58 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: watch it, I think, why does anyone want to do that? 59 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:29,480 Speaker 1: And the answer is that the feeling of doing hard 60 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:33,800 Speaker 1: things that exert us is something that we actually value 61 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 1: as humans. That is something that actually we do need 62 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 1: more of in our lives. It all comes down to 63 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 1: this thing known as the effort paradox. The more effort 64 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: we put into something, the more we value it. That's 65 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 1: why you know, you value the crappy mug that you 66 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 1: made at a pottery class over the perfect mug that 67 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: you got at ikea. The end of a hard project 68 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: is valued more than the outcome of an e one, 69 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,560 Speaker 1: and it actually does make our life feel more fulfilling. 70 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: We feel proud of ourselves, and we just reap the rewards. 71 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: So today, let us break down exactly how we can 72 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:16,480 Speaker 1: use the principles of behavioral psychology mainly but also neuroscience 73 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: to do the hard things, to start the hard routines, 74 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 1: especially in our twenties, when we can reap a lot 75 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 1: of lifelong rewards from getting into the habit, from biting 76 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,160 Speaker 1: the bullets. So, without further ado, let's break down the 77 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 1: psychology of how you and I can train our brains 78 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:40,720 Speaker 1: to do just that. The journey to completing or starting 79 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:44,719 Speaker 1: anything hard all actually has the exact same start line, 80 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 1: and the start line is going from doing nothing to 81 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:52,599 Speaker 1: doing something. And I think a lot of us know 82 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,480 Speaker 1: that that transition, that jump from doing nothing to something 83 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 1: is the hardest and it stops a lot of us 84 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: from ever really beginning, even if we really really want 85 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,280 Speaker 1: to see where something's going to take us. That is 86 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 1: why my first biggest tip for how we can train 87 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: our brain to do hard things is the five minute rule. 88 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,760 Speaker 1: You know, after you begin, the first five minutes of 89 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:19,080 Speaker 1: anything is going to be the hardest because you have 90 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:22,719 Speaker 1: to dig deep and find the motivation to just begin 91 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:26,039 Speaker 1: and to deal with that tension from going from doing 92 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,720 Speaker 1: nothing to doing something. And a big part of why 93 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: that is so daunting is that it feels like when 94 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: we begin a new task, or we begin a new routine, 95 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 1: or we're like, Okay, I'm committed to going to the 96 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:42,800 Speaker 1: gym every single morning, or I'm committed to in this 97 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:45,240 Speaker 1: moment right now, finishing my assignment and I need to 98 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:48,159 Speaker 1: work on it in this moment right now. Absolutely have 99 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 1: to do it, even though I don't want to do it. 100 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:53,599 Speaker 1: It often is like, Okay, by telling myself that I 101 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 1: need to do that, I now am committing to a 102 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,360 Speaker 1: lot more than just a couple of minutes. I'm committed 103 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:03,599 Speaker 1: to a whole process, a whole period of time where 104 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: I have to be focused on this task. And it's 105 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 1: that huge mountain and the idea of climbing that mountain 106 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 1: knowing it's going to take a while. That means that 107 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:18,480 Speaker 1: we put things off because of the time burden. Instead, 108 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 1: we want to overcome our brain's natural tendency to want 109 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 1: to avoid discomfort that comes with the beginning of the task. 110 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:32,480 Speaker 1: By saying I will just do this for five minutes. 111 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:36,400 Speaker 1: It's not actually a trick. You are only going to 112 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,600 Speaker 1: do the thing for five minutes unless after you have, 113 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,000 Speaker 1: you know, lasted that period of time, you feel better 114 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:46,600 Speaker 1: about the thing. You feel better about doing it. If 115 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 1: you're five minutes into your run and you're like, okay, 116 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,839 Speaker 1: I've done five minutes, I can stop. I am allowed 117 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:55,839 Speaker 1: to stop because I've done better than doing nothing. But 118 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,600 Speaker 1: you know, maybe I'll just do another minute. Maybe I'll 119 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 1: do another minute. After that, you see that you have 120 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 1: overcome the first mental barrier. You've overcome that first point 121 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:11,400 Speaker 1: of tension. This is just such a simple, accessible, cognitive 122 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 1: behavioral strategy, and the reason that it works so much 123 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 1: is also because it essentially tricks us into not being 124 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 1: able to procrastinate. Now, one of the foundations of procrastination 125 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 1: A lot of people think assume that it's laziness. It's 126 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 1: actually not. Its perfectionism. If you are an overachiever, you 127 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 1: are a big thinker, you are a perfectionist. The beginning 128 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: of a task is always going to be the hardest 129 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 1: because it's in that moment that you realize how much 130 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:43,559 Speaker 1: opportunity in space there is to fail, how much space 131 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 1: there is to do it wrong, how much space there 132 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 1: is to be criticized, to not live up to your expectations. 133 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 1: That is scary, and that is what's causing you to 134 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 1: procrastinate and causing you to put off this reality that 135 00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,240 Speaker 1: you're so fearful of. But the five minute rule that 136 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: cuts that because it looks at this perfection as part 137 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 1: of our brain and says, actually, like, you can clock 138 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 1: off for this because anything that I do in five 139 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: minutes is not going to be perfect. So great, I 140 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 1: know that that's amazing. I can just actually ignore my 141 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 1: perfectionism for this moment and just give it a go. 142 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be perfect, It definitely doesn't have 143 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 1: to be done. And by the time you have gotten 144 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: that momentum, suddenly your perfectionism is kind of like trying 145 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 1: to play catch up. It's like, hey, wait, you tricked me. 146 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,160 Speaker 1: I thought that we were like not actually going to 147 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,679 Speaker 1: do this today. I thought that we were going to 148 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,320 Speaker 1: like give it a break, Like I thought that, you know, 149 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: I'd stopped you, it's like, actually, no, when you start 150 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: giving it a go, when you get on like the 151 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 1: fast train, you start seeing that it's easier, you start 152 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: seeing that actually you're doing better than you expected perhaps, 153 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:56,520 Speaker 1: and you also start realizing that progress is it's just important. 154 00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 1: You've already made a dint and now you have something 155 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: to work with. So the five minute rule. Anything that 156 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,679 Speaker 1: you know is going to be hard, just say you 157 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,960 Speaker 1: have to do it for five minutes. And like I 158 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 1: said before, you do only have to do it for 159 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,080 Speaker 1: five minutes. So if you're at the end of that 160 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,839 Speaker 1: period of time and you're like, okay, I want to stop, 161 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 1: that's fine. You're allowed to stop, but at least you 162 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: did it. My second tip, and this one is possibly 163 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 1: one of my favorite strategies. I use this all the time. 164 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 1: When I know I have to do something that is daunting, 165 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: that is challenging, that I don't want to do, I 166 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 1: picture the best person I know at that thing. I 167 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,319 Speaker 1: picture them doing it. I think about them, I think 168 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 1: about how they hold themselves, I think about how they 169 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:39,559 Speaker 1: would go about it. 170 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:40,680 Speaker 2: It's a really. 171 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: Powerful form of mental imagery, and when we concoct these 172 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:50,199 Speaker 1: mental images in our brain, it serves as a form 173 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 1: of motivation. So, for example, anytime I need to do 174 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 1: public speaking, I always think about my mom, because my 175 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:03,840 Speaker 1: mom is absolutely excellent at it. She's amazing, And I 176 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 1: think about like almost stepping into her shoes, stepping into 177 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: her outfit, believing that I am her. And it's that admiration, 178 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,680 Speaker 1: but also the fact that she is set an example 179 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 1: that I can almost copy. That makes me feel a 180 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 1: lot more capable. It's almost like I actually, don't you know, 181 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: I don't have to do all of this myself. Someone 182 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: else that I know, who I respect, who is great 183 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,679 Speaker 1: at this, has already done it for me. All I 184 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: need to do is emulate them. All I need to 185 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 1: do is copy them. I also, I will say, do 186 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:38,560 Speaker 1: this at the gym all the time, like as a 187 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 1: way to stick to the hard parts of like my 188 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,320 Speaker 1: gym workouts and my gym routine. But instead of thinking 189 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 1: about the best person I know at the gym, which 190 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 1: to be honest, would probably also be my mum, which 191 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 1: is crazy because she's just a legend. But instead of 192 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 1: thinking about someone I really admire and copying them and 193 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 1: thinking about what they would do, I actually also visualize 194 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:06,320 Speaker 1: this person in my mind called Jim Gemma or Elite Gemma. 195 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:11,679 Speaker 1: And Elite Gemma is like this really focused version of 196 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:14,600 Speaker 1: myself that I've created, and I think about what she 197 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 1: would do. I think about how confident she would be. 198 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,440 Speaker 1: I think about what moves she would do, what her 199 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 1: routine would look like, how she would go about it. 200 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 1: Would she care about those other people looking at her? Know? 201 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 2: She wouldn't. And Elite Gemma is who I. 202 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 1: Step into in those moments where I'm like, I don't 203 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 1: really want to do this, but she would and I 204 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 1: have to listen to what she would do here, so 205 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 1: I need to go. So there is a great study 206 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 1: from twenty nineteen on this exact topic and it's titled 207 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 1: mental imagery as a motivational amplifier to promote activities. And 208 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,600 Speaker 1: I love this amplifier. It doesn't give you all the 209 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 1: motivation to begin with, but it takes that tiny bit 210 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,920 Speaker 1: of sensation in you that wants to do something and 211 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,319 Speaker 1: says you are capable, you are able to do this. 212 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:05,679 Speaker 1: So this study, it showed that when participants visualized themselves 213 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:10,160 Speaker 1: doing hard activities or hard things and then being successful 214 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:14,920 Speaker 1: or finishing the task, this was associated with higher activity 215 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,160 Speaker 1: completion compared to those who were just given a task 216 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 1: and told to go about it. The other reason, and 217 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 1: I guess the other way in which I think mental 218 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 1: imagery is really important here is that it is a 219 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:33,000 Speaker 1: great source of bravery, and it is a great way 220 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 1: to fake it till you make it. And I'm going 221 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,880 Speaker 1: to give another example here of how I used a 222 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:42,439 Speaker 1: very similar visualization technique when I was trying to get 223 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:46,679 Speaker 1: over my fear of flying. I would imagine that I 224 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 1: was someone famous, and I would really picture being this 225 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 1: famous person who caught all these planes all the time. 226 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:58,559 Speaker 1: This was like a part of my fast, luxurious life. 227 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 1: And just rehearsing that and thinking about that over and 228 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 1: over again, creating that mental loop and repetition, I am 229 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 1: this person, I am emulating this person. It made me 230 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:16,680 Speaker 1: feel insanely powerful, insanely insanely capable, and it was a 231 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:20,000 Speaker 1: complete game changer. So that is a way that you 232 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:25,120 Speaker 1: can use your ability, your very amazing special human ability, 233 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 1: to create mental images in your mind. You can use 234 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 1: that to trick yourself into feeling more capable. You've got 235 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,320 Speaker 1: to remember your mind is the source of all your 236 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 1: beliefs about how able you are, and how brave you 237 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:43,559 Speaker 1: are and how courageous you are. So if you feed 238 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:47,320 Speaker 1: it all of this like artificial confidence that is based 239 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,199 Speaker 1: on how someone else does things, or how a future 240 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,280 Speaker 1: or an amazing version of yourself does things, it's gonna 241 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:54,839 Speaker 1: eat that up and it's not going to know the 242 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:59,360 Speaker 1: difference between that and a negative or self doubting thought. 243 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:03,440 Speaker 1: So it's an incredible technique. Let's move on from this 244 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:09,480 Speaker 1: and talk about mood, talk about emotions. So if you 245 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,440 Speaker 1: have got something on your to do list, then you 246 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 1: have been avoiding for a while because it is hard, 247 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,920 Speaker 1: because it is boring, because you just simply don't want 248 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 1: to do it. You have got to choose the right 249 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 1: mood to start tackling that. You've got to choose the 250 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 1: right mood to implement your five minutes. A twenty sixteen 251 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 1: study found that when people are upset, they are less 252 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:36,800 Speaker 1: likely to try and do hard things. Very common sense, 253 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,440 Speaker 1: I understand. Sometimes we do just need like a good 254 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 1: old fashioned psychological study to prove what we already know. 255 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 1: And the explanation behind why this is the case is 256 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:50,840 Speaker 1: also quite simple. When you're in a bad mood, all 257 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:54,320 Speaker 1: of your mental resources are at a lower point, they're 258 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,040 Speaker 1: all kind of plummeting, right, So you're not going to 259 00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 1: feel as motivated, You're not going to feel like you 260 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 1: have any energy. You're also your mind is going to 261 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 1: look at this hard task and it's going to make 262 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:12,240 Speaker 1: it feel a lot bigger and a lot more difficult, 263 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 1: a lot more challenging. As a way to convince you 264 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 1: to rest, convince you to get yourself back to a 265 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 1: positive mental state by not putting any more pressure on 266 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 1: yourself as it is during those times, that is not 267 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,720 Speaker 1: the time when you want to start doing the hard thing. 268 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 1: That is not the time when you want to start 269 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 1: doing your chores. That is not the time when you 270 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 1: want to, you know, suddenly handle your taxes after you've 271 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,040 Speaker 1: had like a really long day at work, you've missed 272 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,280 Speaker 1: your train, you're having a fight with your friend, there's 273 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 1: not enough food in the fridge. No, because also another 274 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 1: element of that is that you will end up resenting 275 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 1: the activity even more when you have to do it 276 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,120 Speaker 1: when you're in a bad mood, and if you're trying 277 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:59,360 Speaker 1: to train yourself into a habit, but every time you 278 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 1: go about doing the habit or practicing the behavior that 279 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 1: is associated with it, every time you do that if 280 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,280 Speaker 1: you are in a terrible mood, Guess what's going to 281 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:13,040 Speaker 1: become associated the terrible mood and the behavior. And it's 282 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 1: going to become almost like this pattern or this link 283 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 1: or this relationship in your brain that when you think 284 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,120 Speaker 1: about the task, when you think about the whatever it 285 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,560 Speaker 1: is thing that you need to do, your brain's going 286 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 1: to be like, huh, every time we do that, we're 287 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 1: in a bad mood, and it doesn't see like the 288 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 1: correlation or the causation points. Sorry, it doesn't see like 289 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,600 Speaker 1: the chicken or the egg problem, which one came first. 290 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 1: So it's really important to build positive associations when we 291 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,720 Speaker 1: are doing hard things. I'm going to use the gym 292 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 1: example again and just think that it's like the easiest 293 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,040 Speaker 1: because it's like a behavior where you go to the 294 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 1: same place, and it's like a something that a lot 295 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 1: of us are probably going to be focused on in 296 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,520 Speaker 1: the new years. If you are in a really bad mood, 297 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you something that is probably counterintuitive. 298 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 1: If you are in a really bad mood and one 299 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,400 Speaker 1: of your long time goals is to go to the 300 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:04,800 Speaker 1: gym more often, actually don't go to the gym during 301 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:08,119 Speaker 1: those times. Some people would argue that the endorphins are 302 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,639 Speaker 1: going to make you feel better, YadA, YadA, YadA. In 303 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,360 Speaker 1: some ways, I think that is the case. But if 304 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,119 Speaker 1: you're going to go to the gym and just do 305 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 1: a really crappy workout and you're not going to feel 306 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,080 Speaker 1: like you push yourself, you're not even going to get 307 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 1: to that place of an endorphin high. Actually, what you're 308 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 1: doing before you even get there is associating the bad mood. 309 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:28,800 Speaker 2: With the behavior. 310 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,120 Speaker 1: So when you are in the best mood, you've had 311 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:35,520 Speaker 1: a great day, you're feeling motivated, that's when you've got 312 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 1: to almost like slide in the hard tasks. It's like 313 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 1: when parents like sneak vegetables into like meatballs or into 314 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,399 Speaker 1: like cookies. That's what you're doing here. Someone said to 315 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,520 Speaker 1: me when I first talk to them about this, like 316 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 1: that's such a waste of a good mood, Like why 317 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:55,680 Speaker 1: would I do that? But actually completing a hard task 318 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,320 Speaker 1: when you are already in a good mood has been 319 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:02,200 Speaker 1: shown to elevate that mood even further, and there is 320 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,159 Speaker 1: a continuation, So you feel really good in the moment, 321 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:09,879 Speaker 1: but then you also continue to feel good in the minutes, hours, 322 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 1: even sometimes days afterwards, maybe in part because of relief, 323 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,439 Speaker 1: like oh gosh, finally I did it. That's done, but 324 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: also in part because of a sense of pride. You know, 325 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:28,120 Speaker 1: how often do we actually challenge ourselves? And seriously, when 326 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,479 Speaker 1: was the last time you put a lot of effort 327 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,359 Speaker 1: into something and it took a lot of commitment from you, 328 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,760 Speaker 1: and there were times when you doubted yourself and you 329 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,119 Speaker 1: didn't really want to do it. When was the last 330 00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:40,959 Speaker 1: time you did that? Because as an adult, I do 331 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 1: think that that's not as common anymore. It might be 332 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:47,480 Speaker 1: in like a workplace environment, but when it comes to 333 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 1: your personal life, we very often are very We don't 334 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,800 Speaker 1: tend to often you know, just jumping all over my 335 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:59,200 Speaker 1: words there. We don't often tend to changing it up again, 336 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,920 Speaker 1: We don't often tend to to actually push ourselves. So 337 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 1: I think that it's really important to actually give yourself 338 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,320 Speaker 1: the opportunity to do that, to give yourself the confidence booster, 339 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:14,760 Speaker 1: to give yourself that further amplifier to your mood. Already, 340 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 1: we're going to take a short little break because obviously 341 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,320 Speaker 1: I need to have a drink of water since I 342 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,400 Speaker 1: am just tumbling all over my words here, But when 343 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 1: we return, we're going to talk about how you can 344 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,479 Speaker 1: fall in love with the process and the different kinds 345 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:32,560 Speaker 1: of extrinsic, intrinsic and integrated motivation that you can use 346 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,880 Speaker 1: to do hard things. Stay with us, we'll be right back. 347 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:44,639 Speaker 1: There is a psychological theory that when we don't just 348 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,720 Speaker 1: fall in love with the result, but we fall in 349 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:50,479 Speaker 1: love with the process, we actually perform better and we 350 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 1: get further. And this theory is known as learned industriousness. 351 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,600 Speaker 1: Here's the thing about doing everything for like the big 352 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:03,720 Speaker 1: golden in finish line, right, anything hard. You are just 353 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:07,080 Speaker 1: thinking about what it's going to be like when it's done, 354 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,359 Speaker 1: when it's over, when you have the reward. It actually 355 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,480 Speaker 1: takes a while to get there. And along that path, 356 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 1: along that route, there's probably not going to be a 357 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 1: lot of, you know, encouragement to spur you on. People 358 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 1: might not believe in you. The thing that you're doing 359 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 1: might just be very mundane. No one's going to be 360 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,960 Speaker 1: celebrating you shouting like yay, you've got this. Maybe there's 361 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,440 Speaker 1: not like any reward that you can even provide yourself 362 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:34,400 Speaker 1: during that time. So if you are doing it all 363 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:38,560 Speaker 1: for the final outcome you are going to unfortunately probably 364 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:43,280 Speaker 1: lose steam. So what this theory says is that individuals 365 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,360 Speaker 1: who are reinforced for exerting high effort on a task, 366 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 1: they don't just fall in love with the outcome. They actually, 367 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 1: in some ways get hooked or get addicted purely to 368 00:20:54,200 --> 00:21:00,159 Speaker 1: the sensation of performing highly, purely to the sensation of 369 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:04,520 Speaker 1: exerting themselves. So we flip the whole narrative away from 370 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:08,280 Speaker 1: the physical, tangible outcome and towards a love for like 371 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:12,399 Speaker 1: the everyday hard actions that get us there. So how 372 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:13,199 Speaker 1: do we do that? Well? 373 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:14,119 Speaker 2: A few ways. 374 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 1: Firstly is by really romanticizing the process, really falling in 375 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:22,919 Speaker 1: love and getting quite sentimental about what it feels like 376 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,760 Speaker 1: to perform a task day and day out, what it 377 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:29,399 Speaker 1: feels like to be working towards your goals. Like, what 378 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 1: a privilege that is, how romantic it is. What's that 379 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 1: story going to look like? What's that going to feel like? 380 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,960 Speaker 1: I did this a lot when I was writing my 381 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:40,600 Speaker 1: book and I was staying up late and I felt 382 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 1: very stressed. But instead of being like, oh my god, 383 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,639 Speaker 1: this just sucks and I'm just so tired, I would 384 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,239 Speaker 1: like imagine that I was Ernest Hemingway or like a 385 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 1: famous author working into the night in Paris on my 386 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,080 Speaker 1: book with a glass of wine. And I was like 387 00:21:56,160 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 1: this tortured author poet type, and I created this whole 388 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:04,640 Speaker 1: image that made me really feel like it was like fun. 389 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 1: It was fun to not so much suffer, but it 390 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,480 Speaker 1: was fun to strive. It was fun to work hard. 391 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,879 Speaker 1: There was like this glamour associated with it. There was 392 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:18,159 Speaker 1: this romanticism that made it special and fun, and like 393 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,639 Speaker 1: I have actually like very fond memories of those times. 394 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,640 Speaker 2: You know, even when it was really really. 395 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,080 Speaker 1: Late, it felt nice knowing that I could push myself. 396 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:31,600 Speaker 1: Another way of doing this is by really noticing the 397 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:35,120 Speaker 1: signs of progress and letting them serve as the reward 398 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,960 Speaker 1: to kind of further fuel your fire. So the feeling 399 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,960 Speaker 1: of sore muscles, the feeling of being really mentally tired 400 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,240 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, but like super fulfilled 401 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:49,399 Speaker 1: and super satisfied, and like falling falling asleep and just 402 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:53,480 Speaker 1: feeling really great about yourself. The feeling of seeing I 403 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,760 Speaker 1: don't know, your art get better, seeing your writing get better, 404 00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:00,320 Speaker 1: seeing your grades get better. That is a way of 405 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:04,720 Speaker 1: bringing about learned industriousness. It's why I really One of 406 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,840 Speaker 1: the things I really recommend and that I love when 407 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:10,360 Speaker 1: people do this is when they set up Instagram pages 408 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:14,880 Speaker 1: for their projects, like their marathons or an art project 409 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:18,720 Speaker 1: or the like. When they're learning your language, or when 410 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: they're renovating their house, like setting up a progress page 411 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:26,959 Speaker 1: or a project page. You can really see how things 412 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:30,239 Speaker 1: get better and improve and get bigger and larger and 413 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:31,200 Speaker 1: dreams come true. 414 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,280 Speaker 2: My god, I sound so. 415 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 1: Cliche, but you really can see that day in and 416 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:41,040 Speaker 1: day out, it gets better every single day. Finally, the 417 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,760 Speaker 1: best way to really promote learned industriousness, and the way 418 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,840 Speaker 1: that really aligns best with the theory, is to just 419 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:53,080 Speaker 1: simply reinforce your effort through physical reward. So what this 420 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,680 Speaker 1: really relies on is something known as the hedonic principle. 421 00:23:56,320 --> 00:24:00,240 Speaker 1: As humans as creatures, as people with brains, so we 422 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,439 Speaker 1: are wired towards things that make us feel good, and 423 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:08,560 Speaker 1: we are wired to avoid things that make us feel uncomfortable. 424 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 1: Super simple principle, right, But an easy way to make 425 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:17,920 Speaker 1: an uncomfortable thing feel good is by maximizing the pleasure 426 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:21,000 Speaker 1: and the reward we get from it. So the more 427 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,080 Speaker 1: candy I don't know, like, the more candy you offer 428 00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,439 Speaker 1: to a child, the more excited they're going to be 429 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,720 Speaker 1: to go to the dentist, even if they hate the dentist. 430 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,680 Speaker 1: The more treats you give a puppy, like, the more 431 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:35,960 Speaker 1: obedient they become. Allegedly, that's always backfired and made my 432 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,520 Speaker 1: puppies and dogs super fat. But you know what I mean. 433 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:43,159 Speaker 1: You can also do this for yourself by providing like 434 00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:48,160 Speaker 1: physical rewards, artificial rewards that you give yourself in lieu 435 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,879 Speaker 1: of the bigger reward. One way we see people do 436 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:54,400 Speaker 1: this is by creating a schedule for positive reinforcement. That's 437 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:59,119 Speaker 1: an incredible behavioral change strategy. So people do this for 438 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,879 Speaker 1: savings goals lot. I see this a lot on like 439 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,320 Speaker 1: TikTok and Instagram, and I love seeing these every like 440 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:09,760 Speaker 1: one two hundred dollars, one thousand dollars, they save, twenty dollars, 441 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:13,480 Speaker 1: fifty dollars, whatever it is goes into buying something that 442 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:17,480 Speaker 1: they really really want, so that there is that reinforcement 443 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:19,600 Speaker 1: that's going along with the hard work. 444 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:20,760 Speaker 2: We all kind of. 445 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 1: Do want a special little thing every now and again. 446 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,120 Speaker 1: We want a break every now and again, We want 447 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:29,840 Speaker 1: a sweet treat every now and again factor that into 448 00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,679 Speaker 1: how you are going about your goals, whatever it is, 449 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,760 Speaker 1: especially if it's a goal that is really based on 450 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:41,520 Speaker 1: a deficit of something, so having less saving money, having 451 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:46,040 Speaker 1: less sweet treats, having less downtime because you're working really, 452 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 1: really hard, you can use that as a form of 453 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 1: motivation to make you want to work harder so that 454 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:55,520 Speaker 1: you finally get the reward. We see like studies on 455 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 1: this with rats all the time. You know, the more 456 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:04,119 Speaker 1: that they are reinforced in a structured way, so you know, 457 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,400 Speaker 1: they finish a task, they get a treat, They finish 458 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,040 Speaker 1: the next task that's a little bit harder, they get 459 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,600 Speaker 1: a treat. The more that there is that structured reward, 460 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:15,320 Speaker 1: they end up performing better. They're more efficient, they tire 461 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:19,239 Speaker 1: less easily. And let's just say this that it's not 462 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,679 Speaker 1: like a factor to do with energy, like the reward 463 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,600 Speaker 1: is sometimes like they get to see their friend, or 464 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 1: the reward is like a pat like it's not always 465 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:32,159 Speaker 1: food based, but they actually keep going for longer. The 466 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:36,160 Speaker 1: reason this is the case and scientifically neurologically, the reason 467 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,879 Speaker 1: this is the case all comes down to dopamine. I 468 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,480 Speaker 1: think we all know like dopamine is the happy chemical. 469 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:45,520 Speaker 1: Dopamine is also the motivational chemical. It is the chemical 470 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:49,119 Speaker 1: that gets you to do things. So if you want 471 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:53,639 Speaker 1: to increase the dopamine that you are accessing when doing 472 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,680 Speaker 1: hard things, you've got to provide some form of catalyst 473 00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:59,800 Speaker 1: for the release of that, some form of trigger, some 474 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 1: of reward. It will make you happier, but it will 475 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,719 Speaker 1: also make you more motivated. 476 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 2: There you go, the more you know. 477 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,480 Speaker 1: So when we do this, it's actually what creates intrinsic motivation. 478 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:12,240 Speaker 1: This is the first form of motivation we're going to 479 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,680 Speaker 1: be talking about. Intrinsic motivation is when you do things 480 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,720 Speaker 1: just because you love them and just because you find 481 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,919 Speaker 1: them enjoyable. So you don't have to force yourself to 482 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 1: do things you love, right like I wouldn't have to 483 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 1: force you to go to the beach, or I wouldn't 484 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,040 Speaker 1: have to force you to like have a wine with 485 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,200 Speaker 1: your friends, or force you to read your favorite book 486 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,199 Speaker 1: because you just like doing it. And one way that 487 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,880 Speaker 1: we can make it so that we enjoy doing something, 488 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 1: which is the highest form of motivation for actually doing it, 489 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 1: is by associating positive experiences and reward with performance, determination, 490 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:53,760 Speaker 1: commitment with you know, doing the thing with being persistent. Now, 491 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,360 Speaker 1: I know what you're probably thinking, how do I fall 492 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 1: in love with doing something that is just actually so 493 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,440 Speaker 1: frustrating and annoying and something that I. 494 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 2: Really don't want to do? 495 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:11,399 Speaker 1: Like how do I enjoy my job that involves firing people? 496 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,720 Speaker 1: How do I fall in love with the process there? 497 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:18,120 Speaker 1: Or how do I fall in love with my painful 498 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,360 Speaker 1: IVF treatment you know that just sucks? Or like how 499 00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:25,920 Speaker 1: do I become intrinsically motivated to enjoy cleaning my toilet? 500 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,800 Speaker 1: There's just some things where this isn't possible, Like we 501 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:34,560 Speaker 1: can't use this heroonic or pleasure principle. So the next 502 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:38,640 Speaker 1: best thing that you can aim for is integrated motivation. 503 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:43,040 Speaker 1: So this occurs when a behavior is performed to gain 504 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,440 Speaker 1: both an external reward, but it also inlignes aligns with 505 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:51,960 Speaker 1: your sense of identity, your sense of your internal sense 506 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 1: of value and interests, and who you are as a person. 507 00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 1: We can make our motivation to complete a task attach 508 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:04,080 Speaker 1: to our identity and it's super super powerful. You know, 509 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 1: I clean the toilet because I am someone who is conscientious, 510 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,920 Speaker 1: and I'm someone who cares about cleanliness, and I care 511 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:14,520 Speaker 1: about having a nice environment, and because I am someone 512 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,960 Speaker 1: who cares about the details. Even though I don't enjoy this, 513 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 1: I'm going to do it because it reinforces something that 514 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:26,240 Speaker 1: I find important about my identity. I go through IVF 515 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 1: treatment even when it's painful, even when it's hard, because 516 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 1: I want to be a parent. That is something I 517 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 1: have always felt is a deep part of my life purpose. 518 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,280 Speaker 1: So I will endure the hard part of this journey 519 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:42,720 Speaker 1: because the outcome is something that is significant for my identity. 520 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,640 Speaker 1: The second best way that you can do hard things 521 00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:50,320 Speaker 1: is to get super clear on the why and make 522 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 1: a really really big picture, like give it a meaning 523 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:57,080 Speaker 1: as big as life itself. Like I study because I 524 00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:00,040 Speaker 1: believe in creating a better life for myself. And I 525 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 1: someone who is a hard worker. So this behavior, although 526 00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:07,520 Speaker 1: it is hard, is something that reinforces what I believe 527 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 1: about myself. It reinforces myself concept, it reinforces my confidence. 528 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,960 Speaker 1: This is who I am. So who would I be 529 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,160 Speaker 1: if I didn't do this behavior? Who would I be 530 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:20,400 Speaker 1: if I didn't do these hard things? This is just 531 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: so so powerful for taking something that is just you know, 532 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,560 Speaker 1: a random thing on your to do list, or maybe 533 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:33,920 Speaker 1: not taking something that you have, you know, mixed feelings towards. 534 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,680 Speaker 1: It's uncomfortable, it's difficult, and it becomes this thing, this 535 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,840 Speaker 1: gateway to being a more true, authentic version of yourself. 536 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:43,480 Speaker 2: And of course you. 537 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,600 Speaker 1: Are going to want to do that hard thing over 538 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 1: the hard thing that is just bothersome, over the hard 539 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:52,440 Speaker 1: thing that you have no meaning attached to. Finally, you know, 540 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:57,680 Speaker 1: if that doesn't work, if the intrinsic motivation doesn't work, 541 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 1: and the like integrated motiv systems don't work, you can 542 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:07,000 Speaker 1: always rely on extrinsic motivation, and that is basically doing 543 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:11,400 Speaker 1: things publicly, doing things in a public setting in front 544 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,840 Speaker 1: of others, promising others that you're going to do it 545 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,480 Speaker 1: as a way to make you feel like you're accountable, 546 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 1: make you feel like their eyes on you. This is 547 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:24,480 Speaker 1: all rooted in social psychology. When we think that people 548 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,880 Speaker 1: are watching, we tend to behave better, We tend to 549 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: put on our best behavior. You can use those same 550 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:36,200 Speaker 1: principles to force yourself to do hard things. One of 551 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,120 Speaker 1: my friends does this in an excellent way. She studies 552 00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:43,440 Speaker 1: in very public places because it makes her feel almost 553 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:46,280 Speaker 1: embarrassed to go on her phone, like the acknowledgment that 554 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 1: someone could be watching her and someone might be like, 555 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,360 Speaker 1: oh god, she's going on her phone, Like that's not good. 556 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:52,400 Speaker 2: I thought she was studying. 557 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,520 Speaker 1: Yes, sometimes it might not be the best for certain 558 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,000 Speaker 1: goals or certain behaviors, but in terms of things where 559 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,640 Speaker 1: you're like, I just need to get get this done, 560 00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:04,680 Speaker 1: and I need someone who you know, a stranger, doesn't 561 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,520 Speaker 1: even know me. I just need their presence to make 562 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 1: me feel obligated to do this incredibly powerful. That was 563 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:16,360 Speaker 1: my final tip for the day. We talked about intrinsic, integrated, 564 00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:21,880 Speaker 1: and external or extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic is the best actually 565 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 1: finding a way to enjoy or fall in love with 566 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,560 Speaker 1: the process. Secondly, you can find a way to make 567 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 1: the activity a part or a reinforcer of an important 568 00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:34,280 Speaker 1: part of your identity. And then if all all that fails, 569 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:38,120 Speaker 1: you know, the flood gates roll open. You can rely 570 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 1: on the judgment of others less and ideal, but sometimes important. 571 00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:45,480 Speaker 1: I really hope that this episode has given you some motivation. 572 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:48,400 Speaker 1: You know, we've got one month left of this year. 573 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,120 Speaker 1: We've got so much going on. We have a lot 574 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,360 Speaker 1: of goals that we might want to achieve and we 575 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,560 Speaker 1: also might be like preparing for next year. So I 576 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,600 Speaker 1: think these strategies are really really doable, and they're not 577 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 1: about discipline. They're not about like working yourself to the bone, 578 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,120 Speaker 1: They're not about burnout and exhaustion. 579 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:08,840 Speaker 2: They are small things. 580 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:13,360 Speaker 1: That you can do mentally psychologically to be more productive 581 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:16,760 Speaker 1: and less busy and to reach your goals faster by 582 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:21,480 Speaker 1: essentially like tricking how our brain works and tricking our psychology. 583 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,040 Speaker 1: So if you did enjoy this episode, please make sure 584 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,720 Speaker 1: that you have left a five star review. If you 585 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,719 Speaker 1: leave a review on Apple as well, I'm looking at 586 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,800 Speaker 1: all of them at the moment, I'm like grabbing some 587 00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,000 Speaker 1: out for a little post at the end. 588 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:35,240 Speaker 2: Of the year. 589 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,920 Speaker 1: I would really appreciate if you could leave some kind 590 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:41,320 Speaker 1: words there. Also, make sure you have pre ordered the book. 591 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:43,480 Speaker 1: I know I've been kind of not on the ball 592 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,680 Speaker 1: with reminding you guys, but Yeah comes out next year, 593 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,960 Speaker 1: and there will be a link in the podcast episode description. 594 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,040 Speaker 1: Even if you just want to check out the cover, 595 00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:55,400 Speaker 1: that's totally fine. I just appreciate any support that you 596 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:58,959 Speaker 1: are giving me this like crazy, amazing time in my life. 597 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,920 Speaker 1: Make sure you were following us on Instagram, at that 598 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:06,600 Speaker 1: Psychology podcast, And until next time, stay safe, stay kind, 599 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:10,439 Speaker 1: be gentle to yourself, and we will talk very very soon.