Speaker 1: Hell I Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
Speaker 1: and I Heart Radio podcast. Hello everyone, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us on another episode of Help I
Speaker 1: Suck at Dating. As always, I'm Dean Unglert, joined in
Speaker 1: studio by Jared Hayban. Hello Eastern Allen Tory morality. Tory
Speaker 1: doesn't need a last name. She's like Oprah. Very special
Speaker 1: episode for everyone today. I know I said that every week,
Speaker 1: but this week I really really mean it because first
Speaker 1: and foremost we have our very own, very uh wonderful
Speaker 1: person in the world, the Vanessa Grimaldi back from Bali, Indonesia.
Speaker 1: What's up, Vanessa? Yeah, Vanessa. In addition to having Vanessa
Speaker 1: back on the podcast, we miss you so much. By
Speaker 1: the way, we're gonna have uh two matchmaking professionals Cal
Speaker 1: Roberson for married at First Sight in Eileen Fisher from Matchmaker,
Speaker 1: who's just a professional matchmaker over New York. Um. But
Speaker 1: first and foremost, van that's a phillis in on everything
Speaker 1: that we've missed from you for over the past couple
Speaker 1: of weeks. I literally disglanded from New York Kitty um,
Speaker 1: and I wasn't folly for about six things of Taylor.
Speaker 1: So about like ten days of Taylor from my season. Um,
Speaker 1: I was vegan the two weeks that I was there.
Speaker 1: Are you a vegan? How the hell was that? Um?
Speaker 1: I honestly felt like I had so much more energy
Speaker 1: and I was more alerted. I was. I was like
Speaker 1: less tired during the day. So are you vegan? Now? No?
Speaker 1: I just had a chicken cutlets stand? No, you don't
Speaker 1: have any Gassie rang while you were out there? I did? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I did. Is baked in chicken grease, isn't it? Oh? No, Well,
Speaker 1: I mean I went kick semi vegan, I guess. But anyway,
Speaker 1: my trip to Bolli was amazing. It's something that I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of people should experience. UM. It
Speaker 1: was just like nice to be around like nature and
Speaker 1: really good food and just kind of disconnect from social media, um,
Speaker 1: to learn how to be present. So I had a
Speaker 1: great time. But I'm glad to be back on the podcast.
Speaker 1: I feel like so much to update you guys. I
Speaker 1: feel like you have a lot of to update on
Speaker 1: us too. I was watching your Instagram story and you
Speaker 1: did one of those questions and answers, and somebody asked
Speaker 1: you about if you had your eye on somebody and
Speaker 1: you gave like a little maybe and a wink. What
Speaker 1: does that mean? I mean that means maybe. That means
Speaker 1: maybe I like someone. Maybe she's so the last thing
Speaker 1: that I want to do is mentioned how I might
Speaker 1: be dating someone and then have to talk about how
Speaker 1: I'm not dating them. Here first, the exclusive, Vanessa Grimaldi
Speaker 1: is in a relationship. Well, let's all right, Well maybe
Speaker 1: you are dating someone maybe or not. Well we'll find out.
Speaker 1: Maybe Cal can give us a little more insight about
Speaker 1: your dating relationships. So we have Calvin Robertson on the
Speaker 1: line right now. He's a relationship expert on the hit
Speaker 1: series you guys all know it, Married at First Sight,
Speaker 1: which airs on Lifetime TV. Hey Cal, you're on the
Speaker 1: line here with Dean Jared Vanessa from Help I Suck
Speaker 1: at Dating? How are you? I am fantastic. How are
Speaker 1: you guys? We're doing very well. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for joining us today. So Cal tell us a little
Speaker 1: bit about yourself. We know you from Married at First Sight,
Speaker 1: but your relationship expert, how did you even get into
Speaker 1: this field? Uh? Wow, Well I've been um, I've been
Speaker 1: counseling couples. Actually, I started, um about twenty years ago,
Speaker 1: and I've been counseling couples of pre marital and marital
Speaker 1: So I started a marriage counselor as a pastoral marriage
Speaker 1: counselor for a number of years. Um. My graduate degree
Speaker 1: was in uh uh religious counseling, uh matchless divinity with
Speaker 1: an emphasis and that. And so I've been counseling couples
Speaker 1: pre marital, then marital, then pre divorce actually and even
Speaker 1: post divorce. So I've been counseling couples for quite a while.
Speaker 1: And then um, I got into uh doing it for
Speaker 1: the show. They actually contacted me and help them find
Speaker 1: a couple for one of their shows, and and the
Speaker 1: rest is history. Actually, so you're on Married at First Sight.
Speaker 1: So how do you think that getting married for the
Speaker 1: first time you see somebody really works? Now, you guys
Speaker 1: have a very successful rate. I think you guys sell
Speaker 1: have eighteen couples that are still together today. Well you know, well,
Speaker 1: not not a wish that that we had eighteen, No,
Speaker 1: not quite. Now we've matched probably about twenty couples. I
Speaker 1: think about sixty of the couples that we match. At
Speaker 1: the end of the experiment, they decided to stay together
Speaker 1: about six too. And of that six, we have probably
Speaker 1: maybe about half of those, maybe a little less than
Speaker 1: that actually who are still together today. So, um, you know,
Speaker 1: I think that's pretty good. That's not that's not bad
Speaker 1: at all. But getting married at first sight it's a
Speaker 1: little different than what you would think because it's not
Speaker 1: just a matter of finding two strangers and throwing them
Speaker 1: into uh into a wedding and say, hey, this is
Speaker 1: your new husband and your new wife. We actually do
Speaker 1: a lot of betting. I mean, we do background checks,
Speaker 1: we do um psychologically evaluations. We we even do a
Speaker 1: soft credit evaluation. I mean we ask questions and in
Speaker 1: the absent in front of psychologists. It's about a two
Speaker 1: month process before they even get to the point of
Speaker 1: being married. And so, what kind of process it is
Speaker 1: it to match up to people? Like, so you met
Speaker 1: the person, you know everything about them. Do you match
Speaker 1: two people up by their interests, by their future plans? Uh?
Speaker 1: Kind of what goes into the process of that? Yes,
Speaker 1: all that. So we messed people up based on their compatibilities,
Speaker 1: but also based on their compatible differences. So we look
Speaker 1: at their their their values, I mean, what are their
Speaker 1: values and what are their core values actually, and that
Speaker 1: those irreplaceable things that you live your life out with,
Speaker 1: whether it's family or or love or spirituality or what
Speaker 1: have you, what's most important to you. So we find
Speaker 1: compatibilities in those areas and then we find people. For instance,
Speaker 1: someone who is an introvert might be looking for someone
Speaker 1: who's a little more extroverted. So those are like compatible differences.
Speaker 1: So it's it's a lot to go through. I mean,
Speaker 1: we basically have them to answer roughly about five questions
Speaker 1: a questionnaire, roughly about five uh short of that, and
Speaker 1: we find out all this information that we do comparative analysis,
Speaker 1: and it's just so much. And so we look at
Speaker 1: all of the qualities. Are their families compatible? Uh, this person,
Speaker 1: this is a family person. We don't want someone who
Speaker 1: doesn't want children. This person doesn't want smoke. It doesn't
Speaker 1: like a smoker. We find someone else who doesn't want
Speaker 1: to smoke. Two people smoke weed together. We find people
Speaker 1: who want to smoke and whatever. But it's compatibility. Uh,
Speaker 1: there's there's a lot to go in to finding compatible partners. Well,
Speaker 1: Kell and you kind of grabbed headlines with the whole
Speaker 1: mea in Tristan situation not too long ago, right, And
Speaker 1: I understand a lot of a lot of the work
Speaker 1: goes into questioning their backgrounds, but sometimes it's obviously not
Speaker 1: going to be quite as effective, which in Meda's case,
Speaker 1: it sounds like she wasn't truthful throughout the entire process. Uh. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, And this is one of those anomalies that
Speaker 1: we we don't. Oh god, we hate this kind of
Speaker 1: stuff because it was an unpleasant surprise. And as much
Speaker 1: as people will think, well, you know what we did
Speaker 1: that for the show was this is all about drama,
Speaker 1: it really is not. It's so weird that when we
Speaker 1: did me as background check, it was spotless, it was
Speaker 1: absolutely clean, and then a warrant was served roughly days
Speaker 1: I mean literally days after we did the background check.
Speaker 1: Then it showed up. Uh, we had no idea because
Speaker 1: there's no way in the world we could be in
Speaker 1: Cahos with the t s A, you know, to get
Speaker 1: further rough you know, kicked off a plane. So it
Speaker 1: was it's it was pretty it was a pretty ugly situation.
Speaker 1: But we we we uh we uh you know, have
Speaker 1: been there for them and and it just um, you've
Speaker 1: been trying to support them through this, and I think
Speaker 1: from what I read to you were able to fly
Speaker 1: to meet them face to face to kind of have
Speaker 1: whole session with them and kind of talk them through that.
Speaker 1: So absolutely, how is this? How is the relationship now?
Speaker 1: Me're interested and they're doing well? They are they well,
Speaker 1: they were still in the middle of the who was
Speaker 1: still coming to the end of the of the season,
Speaker 1: so I can't say too much, but they are working
Speaker 1: at it, you know, at this point in the season,
Speaker 1: they're working at it and they're trying to overcome their difficulties,
Speaker 1: which is very very Uh it's it's a lot for
Speaker 1: him because we weren't we weren't expecting that for him.
Speaker 1: I mean, you just marry a bride and you find
Speaker 1: out that she was arrested. Um, I mean, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: that's pretty that's pretty tough stuff to deal with. But
Speaker 1: he's you know, he's going through some un undue criticism,
Speaker 1: but you know, for it also, But from from what
Speaker 1: I've gathered, he seems to be standing by here, which
Speaker 1: is obviously what you want to see in a husband
Speaker 1: or partner, whoever it may be. And from my perspective,
Speaker 1: for someone that's had a few run ins with the
Speaker 1: law himself. I can understand the kind of the the
Speaker 1: difficulty in communicating that to your partner um, but obviously
Speaker 1: it's super important. So I have a question for you
Speaker 1: as well, because you had mentioned before you had gotten
Speaker 1: involved with the whole marriad at first sight show. You
Speaker 1: are a pastoral religious marriage counselor. How do you think
Speaker 1: that influences and affects your ability to to counsel and
Speaker 1: work with people directly? Now? Uh, quite actually it's it's
Speaker 1: it's been very beneficial. I am one thing that I
Speaker 1: do unlike a lot of mean, I can't speak for
Speaker 1: all pastors who who have done any of this, but
Speaker 1: one thing that I've always done is I look at
Speaker 1: people based on, you know, what their personal belief systems are.
Speaker 1: I'll mess people who are if you come to me
Speaker 1: and say, okay, I'm an atheist, I'm looking for someone
Speaker 1: else who's an atheist, which seems like wow, but you're
Speaker 1: a pastor. How can you imagine atheists? Because it's I mean,
Speaker 1: that's their business, that's between them and and and you know,
Speaker 1: and their own conscience. So I believe the one thing
Speaker 1: that has happened he is it's helped me to sort
Speaker 1: of look at people for who they are, and everybody's
Speaker 1: on a different journey. Everyone. You know, I had different
Speaker 1: belief systems. So what I do is I just find
Speaker 1: out all your belief systems compatible. I've studied different beliefs,
Speaker 1: and my studied atheist and my studied Buddhism. I've studied yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, you name it. It's as a part of
Speaker 1: my educational pursuits. You know, I've studied a lot of
Speaker 1: different religions and I find value in all of them.
Speaker 1: So it's it's it's really helped me to see people
Speaker 1: for who they are, to understand that at our very root,
Speaker 1: everybody wants love. Everybody wants to be loved, and everybody
Speaker 1: wants to be accepted. No. Absolutely, you know, I was
Speaker 1: thinking I was going to ask you too, have you
Speaker 1: ever matched somebody who is an atheist or somebody who's religious.
Speaker 1: Uh no, No, that's kind of like a breaker. Oh god,
Speaker 1: that's the most atheists want someone who can understand their um,
Speaker 1: their their belief or their lack thereof. Do you think
Speaker 1: they want someone? Go ahead, please, I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: I was gonna ask you think it's the atheist that's
Speaker 1: not willing to be married or pursue a relationship with
Speaker 1: the religious person or vice versa, are both ways, it's
Speaker 1: normally vice versa. It's normally religious person that doesn't want
Speaker 1: an Yeah, yeah, I mean and then and and then
Speaker 1: I don't know, because I know some atheists who feel
Speaker 1: as though if they get with someone who's who's very
Speaker 1: religious and now and then there's a difference between being
Speaker 1: religious and being spiritual. A religious person person who goes
Speaker 1: to church every week, and they're going to church on Sunday,
Speaker 1: they go to Bible study on Tuesday, they go to
Speaker 1: choir practice, you know. But but if you're just a
Speaker 1: religious person, meaning you believe in a higher power you,
Speaker 1: however you choose to identify him or her, if you
Speaker 1: believe in that higher power, and then uh, you want
Speaker 1: someone else who has a belief system of someone outside
Speaker 1: of themselves, outside of this realm, then then I've seen
Speaker 1: that that's even that that maybe a little a little
Speaker 1: bit easier because I've had some ageentts that you know,
Speaker 1: I don't mind being with someone who is spiritual as
Speaker 1: long as they're not trying to convert me. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: so then what advice would you have because oftentimes, what's
Speaker 1: like listening emails people seeking advice on their relationships, and
Speaker 1: every once in a while we'll see someone say something
Speaker 1: along the lines of I'm religious but he's not, or
Speaker 1: he's religious and I'm not necessarily as religious as he is.
Speaker 1: We we love each other, we've been together for three years,
Speaker 1: but we don't know necessarily where to move from here.
Speaker 1: So for a listener out there that might be dealing
Speaker 1: with something similar to that, what kind of advice would
Speaker 1: you have for them in that situation. Yeah, that's great,
Speaker 1: that's great. And for let me say, first of all,
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to do this because I always talk
Speaker 1: about marriage, so I'm I'm loving the fact that I
Speaker 1: can talk a little about dating. But if if if
Speaker 1: there are two people, one's religious and one is not religious,
Speaker 1: the first thing I would say to a person is,
Speaker 1: first of all, examine what is your religion or lack
Speaker 1: there of doing for you? Because religious is supposed to
Speaker 1: make you better your your spiritually is supposed to make
Speaker 1: you a better person. Now, if you have one person
Speaker 1: A who is religious, in person B who is not,
Speaker 1: and they're having conflict, but then the question is uh um,
Speaker 1: from where is the conflict coming. Is a religious person
Speaker 1: trying to convert the other person. Is that person thinking
Speaker 1: this person is too uh pharasaical as I say, or
Speaker 1: to um um you know, overly um religious or what
Speaker 1: have you. If it's not making you better, then you
Speaker 1: might want to reconsider what you believe. Because I've met
Speaker 1: a lot of religious people who say, this person does
Speaker 1: not believe in God, and this person is not religious,
Speaker 1: I can't be with him. And I'm like, well, is
Speaker 1: he a good person or is she a good person?
Speaker 1: Or yeah, they're great, but then what's the big deal?
Speaker 1: Let that means, you know, just just remove that out
Speaker 1: of the way and understand that your religion is supposed
Speaker 1: to make you an accepting, a loving and a good person,
Speaker 1: and vice versa. I think a lot of times to
Speaker 1: what we'll see is couples that are maybe getting more
Speaker 1: serious in the relationship, whether they're serious boyfriend, girlfriend about
Speaker 1: to propose, had just gotten married, and then kids kind
Speaker 1: of become part of the equation as well, and they
Speaker 1: start to say, well, what do how do we want
Speaker 1: to raise our kids on? What poliicsystem do we want
Speaker 1: to raise our kids on? Do we want to take
Speaker 1: them to church? Every day or whatever it might be.
Speaker 1: That's where it gets messy, because you can believe whatever
Speaker 1: you want to believe. But then when it comes to
Speaker 1: kids and how you raise them and what you want
Speaker 1: them to believe, that changes the entire side. Well and
Speaker 1: and and that's such a great point because when it
Speaker 1: comes to that, I normally will tell a couple here's
Speaker 1: the deal. Let's stop looking at what religion I want
Speaker 1: to raise my children in, and let's look at how
Speaker 1: do I want my children to be. Do I want
Speaker 1: them to be moral? Don't want them to be decent,
Speaker 1: don't want them to make good life decisions? How do
Speaker 1: I want them to be? So let's take the good
Speaker 1: of both of our our beliefs and both of who
Speaker 1: we are. I mean, if if these are two good
Speaker 1: people who just happen to have different religions, and you're
Speaker 1: pouring who you are into your children, your children are
Speaker 1: going to be raised as good people when they get
Speaker 1: up an age to an age where they're there accountable
Speaker 1: to themselves, accountable to their own morality, they can make
Speaker 1: their own decisions as to which way they want to go.
Speaker 1: So I try to get people to understand, first of all,
Speaker 1: is not as important what church you're going to? I mean,
Speaker 1: are you raising decent people? And that's you know, so
Speaker 1: that's where that's where I believe the difference is there.
Speaker 1: That's the basically I understand totally. So Cal you're a
Speaker 1: relationship expert. If there is one common thread that you've
Speaker 1: found in all the advice you've given two couples, because
Speaker 1: you've you know, done a lot of given a lot
Speaker 1: of vice to a lot of different people with different backgrounds. Uh,
Speaker 1: is there one common theme that you find in a
Speaker 1: lot of different relationships that either make the relationship work
Speaker 1: or maybe, um it like helps for the relationship to break.
Speaker 1: Is there anything that can really that you can give
Speaker 1: to couples that are listening to this right now advice
Speaker 1: on how to make their relationship better? Yeah? Whatever you
Speaker 1: think you know about relationships, um, forget it. Yeah, I'm serious,
Speaker 1: because here's the thing. Everyone is different, and you have
Speaker 1: to if you're going to go into relationships you wanted
Speaker 1: to be successful, you have to be completely malleable, completely
Speaker 1: open to change, completely open to allowing your relationship to
Speaker 1: develop for itself, because very often what people will do
Speaker 1: is that they will have all these preconceived notions of
Speaker 1: how they feel a relationship should be, and so they'll
Speaker 1: go into a relationship saying, hey, this is what I want,
Speaker 1: this is what I want, and we all have our
Speaker 1: own checklist. But you have to be flexible, and you
Speaker 1: have to say, hey, look, I'm willing to let my
Speaker 1: relationships determine what I want, as opposed to me coming
Speaker 1: and saying hey I want someone who's who's six three, etcetera, etcetera,
Speaker 1: where you might meet somebody who's five seven and they
Speaker 1: are the best thing that have I happened to you
Speaker 1: be lexible. The height thing is always fun to me
Speaker 1: because like I have a lot of I have a
Speaker 1: lot of friends who are dating guys, and so often
Speaker 1: they'll always say things like, oh, he was too short
Speaker 1: or something like that, and I guess it's it's something
Speaker 1: I've never personally experienced, but that you're also six four
Speaker 1: to six to no, you're at least sixth three. It's
Speaker 1: just a funny thing to hear when someone's like he
Speaker 1: was perfect in every single way, great job, great person, great,
Speaker 1: but he's five ft eight feet tall or five inches fall.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, how are you gonna disqualifying because of that? Like,
Speaker 1: that's just unbelievable, It's ridiculous. And that's why when people say, well,
Speaker 1: we're all the good women, we're all the good men.
Speaker 1: What you're saying, right, you're saying we're What you're asking
Speaker 1: is where are the people who meet my criteria? Totally,
Speaker 1: you gotta throw that criteria out the window, throw that
Speaker 1: crap out the window the window, look at that person
Speaker 1: for who they are, and and and allow your relationship
Speaker 1: to determine. And I tell this to marry people all
Speaker 1: the time and said, well I want this kind of husband,
Speaker 1: that kind of wife. No, because every person is going
Speaker 1: to You're going to be the kind of husband that
Speaker 1: why they want you to be. And you would be
Speaker 1: a different kind of husband if you're with wife b
Speaker 1: because every relationship is going to change you. And if
Speaker 1: you come with just a a static idea of how
Speaker 1: you should be in a relationship or what you want
Speaker 1: in that relationship, you'll never enjoy the beauty of change
Speaker 1: and the beauty of discovery. Totally. Tom Brady would not
Speaker 1: be the same quarterback without coach Bill Belichick. I've always
Speaker 1: firmly believed that and vice versa. It's all about the relationships, really,
Speaker 1: so cal tell me a little bit. Oh, diehard Patriots fans,
Speaker 1: So cal tell me a little bit before you go
Speaker 1: about what's this merit at First Sight Honeymoon Island. Ah, Oh,
Speaker 1: you're excited. I like it. I like that response. Yeah, man,
Speaker 1: I'm I am so excited about this show. One reason
Speaker 1: that I'm excited is because it gives me a chance
Speaker 1: to do something else that I love, which is talked
Speaker 1: to single people about preparing themselves for marriage. We have
Speaker 1: sixteen couple, sixteen individual who are put on an island,
Speaker 1: and a lot of these are people who um who
Speaker 1: were some of them married at first Sight hopefuls but
Speaker 1: did not get selected. And and let me just say,
Speaker 1: if they did not get selected, it's not because they
Speaker 1: were not marriable, but because we simply could not find
Speaker 1: somebody for them. Because one thing we do are married
Speaker 1: at first sight, is that if we find a great
Speaker 1: person but we cannot find a great match, we won't
Speaker 1: match you. We're not going to just throw you with
Speaker 1: someone just for the sake of TV sixteen single people.
Speaker 1: As Alwa said, sixteen single people just throw them on
Speaker 1: an island. And we're putting them on an island. And
Speaker 1: the again. These are people who are some are formal,
Speaker 1: former married at first sight, summer fresh faces, and then
Speaker 1: after we get on the island, uh dr Jess again myself,
Speaker 1: we're on there to guide them and the rest is
Speaker 1: just awesome. Thanks for a great TV. Yeah we can't wait. Well.
Speaker 1: Premieres Tuesday, October at ten o'clock Eastern time on Lifetime,
Speaker 1: and you can also check out Cal on meretith first
Speaker 1: site That is on Tuesday nights at nine o'clock also
Speaker 1: on Lifetime. Cal thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: You were awesome. Good luck in your endeavors. Thanks oh man,
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Prom Thank you, Cal. Thanks take care.
Speaker 1: I have a question. Okay, what the hell was the
Speaker 1: story you were talking about? Before we get into that,
Speaker 1: I want to say one thing. I could be wrong
Speaker 1: and I might eat my words later on this. I
Speaker 1: think I know someone that's on Honeymoon Island. Well, are
Speaker 1: we allowed to say who it is? I don't know
Speaker 1: she's so. I moved out of my house back in December,
Speaker 1: and I think the girl that moved into my house
Speaker 1: after me, she like pulled me, she like called me
Speaker 1: maybe three months ago. She says, Hey, I'm thinking about
Speaker 1: going on reality TV show. I know you've been on
Speaker 1: a few reality TV shows. Can I take your advice?
Speaker 1: Like pick your brain? Blah blah blah. And she just
Speaker 1: got back like two days ago. Well I will two
Speaker 1: days ago. Wow, So they must have It could have
Speaker 1: been a different I know that they were on a
Speaker 1: beach somewhere. I know that it was sixteen people, So
Speaker 1: that's kind of why. Yeah, that sounds very familiar. It
Speaker 1: also sounds exactly like Paradise. Yes, and they also like
Speaker 1: former married at First Site contestants, they're coming back and
Speaker 1: fresh faces. Hey listen if I'm Lifetime though, that's smart
Speaker 1: by them. Bachelor Paradise is a huge success. Why not
Speaker 1: trying to do their own. But yes, that story that
Speaker 1: we're talking about earlier, So what is this bullone married
Speaker 1: at First Site Mia and Tristan who got married. Apparently
Speaker 1: they were going to travel down to Mexico. I think
Speaker 1: they were going to Cancoon or something, and I might
Speaker 1: get the story a little bit wrong, but they were
Speaker 1: going through security. TSA pulls mea aside and they say, sorry,
Speaker 1: you can't travel. You have a warrant out for your arrest.
Speaker 1: It turns out this warrant that they issued for me
Speaker 1: as arrest was because of a domestic uh not domestic violence,
Speaker 1: but domestic dispute case from a while ago where she
Speaker 1: like maybe stole her boyfriend's credit cards and was like
Speaker 1: accusing him of some things. Um. And she didn't tell
Speaker 1: Tristan any of this, nor did she tell any of
Speaker 1: producers at the show any of it. And so obviously
Speaker 1: there's a big moral conflict from Tristan who married this
Speaker 1: girl who kind of kept a lot of information from him. Well,
Speaker 1: she's denying, and she said that's she denied it at first.
Speaker 1: She denied first, and then she came back off camera
Speaker 1: and admitted to everything. Yes, I'm trying to find exactly
Speaker 1: what the warrant was for. This is back in February apparently,
Speaker 1: and so her ex boyfriend claimed that she had stalked
Speaker 1: him on multiple occasions in the thirteen months that followed
Speaker 1: their December two, thou sixteen breakups, So this was very
Speaker 1: prior to the show, and also made an unauthorized purchase
Speaker 1: of an Apple iPhone on his credit card a year
Speaker 1: after the split, right, and which there could be a
Speaker 1: legitimate reason for all that stuff. It sounds I'm weirded out.
Speaker 1: I got the get the bugga boost just from hearing
Speaker 1: that story A little bit bug h the bugga boo.
Speaker 1: I think of Buggaboo Creek When you say that the
Speaker 1: restaurants gives me a little bugga boo, I think of
Speaker 1: like the he b gebs. That's what I would say.
Speaker 1: Here's what would you do if you were Tristan. Okay,
Speaker 1: so put yourself in his shoes, Say Ashley, yeah, you
Speaker 1: guys are traveling to Cancoon together ts A polls and
Speaker 1: obviously this has never happened. Just try and put yourself
Speaker 1: in that situation. They pull actually aside. They say, ma'am,
Speaker 1: you have to come with us. We're gonna detain you
Speaker 1: for two days. I'd be terrified for her. It turns
Speaker 1: out she has stocking claims against an x Oh. I
Speaker 1: would talk through that, like I mean, it all depends.
Speaker 1: It's also very different because they this was right after
Speaker 1: the show, and so how long could they have possibly
Speaker 1: known each other and actually know each other? Well, okay,
Speaker 1: so you and actually know each the ins and outs
Speaker 1: of everything about each other's brain. It's obviously way different.
Speaker 1: I would obviously take Ashley side of the time. Um,
Speaker 1: of I mean unless it was like, oh, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing, what if she What if it
Speaker 1: turns out she was lying to you about something for
Speaker 1: the three or four years even of course, that would
Speaker 1: change the relationship. How could it not? But this sounds
Speaker 1: a little bit different because this is right after the
Speaker 1: show where they only knew each other and we're married
Speaker 1: for a very short period of time. So if I
Speaker 1: was Tristan, I would have doubts as well, because you know,
Speaker 1: was she just doing it for the cameras? Is she
Speaker 1: lying to me? How long have I known her? What
Speaker 1: else is she not telling me? Actually interesting, I did
Speaker 1: not know that about married at first sight because I've
Speaker 1: heard that they had a very high success rate and
Speaker 1: which is what he said, leave with each other, and
Speaker 1: about a little more than half of that actually are
Speaker 1: still together today, which is a pretty high success rate
Speaker 1: when you really think about things. My thing with that
Speaker 1: too is I think that they do a good job
Speaker 1: of vetting people that actually really want to get married,
Speaker 1: and if you really want to marry someone, you're willing
Speaker 1: to work through a lot of the challenges that come
Speaker 1: in regular relationship. Yeah, I also think that people if
Speaker 1: they're going on married at first site. They're willing to
Speaker 1: take a chance because they're trying to find love, like
Speaker 1: compared to like even the bachelt a little bit, because
Speaker 1: there's not that high probability that you're gonna get married here.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, there's not only a high probability you're
Speaker 1: getting married. You are getting married to someone, so you
Speaker 1: better want to try to make it work. Hey, you
Speaker 1: know what is a sure thing though, ritual vitamins. That
Speaker 1: is the surest thing you're gonna get. These might vitamins
Speaker 1: are traditional vitamins. Um, but this is the difference. Okay.
Speaker 1: Usually traditional vitamins contain folic acid, which, if you don't know,
Speaker 1: is a synthetic nutrition that at least one third of
Speaker 1: all women cannot process thanks to a common genetic variation
Speaker 1: those of us with this gene, not me, but someone
Speaker 1: like Vanessa. I don't even know that you have it, really,
Speaker 1: So the cool thing about ritual vitamins is that instead
Speaker 1: of fullic acid, they use something called full late, which
Speaker 1: guess what all women can process because ritual actually cares
Speaker 1: about the ingredients that are in their vitamins. Vanessa, you
Speaker 1: want to talk about rituel a little bit Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm actually I'm happy that we're talking about this because
Speaker 1: I've been more to my health and fitness lately, and
Speaker 1: I just found out that there is a distinctishment between
Speaker 1: the two because they don't have the actual same effects.
Speaker 1: I'm happy that we're talking about ritual um So. One
Speaker 1: reason why most companies aren't you fully, it's because it's
Speaker 1: more expensive. Most vitamin companies UH skirt costs and tacks
Speaker 1: or pills mores ingredients that you don't actually um even need.
Speaker 1: Ritual doesn't cut costs because their vitamins UM have that
Speaker 1: women both best cleanest forms, which I love. I understand
Speaker 1: what you actually being in a supplement, so they're not
Speaker 1: a waste of your time or money. UM I'm excited
Speaker 1: to start sciences. I just found out about the difference.
Speaker 1: Um So Ritual an allergy free made in the US
Speaker 1: without pesthetic fillers or coloring. And guess what, Vanessa, They're
Speaker 1: only thirty dollars a month, and the best part is
Speaker 1: Ritual will deliver right to your door. So pretty much
Speaker 1: thirty dollars a month you'd be spending those Omega three vitamins,
Speaker 1: you're spending the exact amount on one bottle of that
Speaker 1: as you would for an entire month of the Ritual bottles,
Speaker 1: so you can fill in the gaps of your diet
Speaker 1: all those good things Like you said, vegan sugar free.
Speaker 1: Rituel has it. Women actually don't get the vitamins and
Speaker 1: minerals that they need on a daily basis. Is that you, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: Come on now, don't you lie to us? Uh? So, Actually,
Speaker 1: Richel created a smart vitamin with the nine essential ingredients
Speaker 1: that women lack the most. And the cool thing is
Speaker 1: you can go to ritual dot com slash dean Dean
Speaker 1: why is it always your name? I was literally just
Speaker 1: thinking how much I really like that. You know, he's
Speaker 1: he's the prettiest of us all. He's the pretty of us,
Speaker 1: of us all. That's why. So you guys, you go
Speaker 1: to ritual dot com slash Dean. You can choose clean
Speaker 1: ingredients that are backed up by science, and you can
Speaker 1: sign up now. Yet again, here's the website. Don't miss it,
Speaker 1: ritual dot com slash dean get your ritual items today. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you wanna know what's funny is one of my
Speaker 1: very very close friends just started working at Ritual about
Speaker 1: three months ago as a head of recruitment for them.
Speaker 1: So not only are they incredible supplements and vitamins that
Speaker 1: you can take on a daily basis, but they also
Speaker 1: are employing some of my very close friends. That's important.
Speaker 1: It's very important for the code. Yes, probably worked into
Speaker 1: his contract when he signed with that he as an insider.
Speaker 1: There you go. Well, anyways, let's move on to our
Speaker 1: next guest, which is Eileen Fisher, matchmaker out in New
Speaker 1: York City, who has some very interesting takes on things.
Speaker 1: Nothing I guess who out of the ordinary that we've seen,
Speaker 1: But well let's find out. Eileen, Are you there? Hi?
Speaker 1: Dean and jaredny in New York? How could I not
Speaker 1: be happy? Is it nice? Then? We're in l A
Speaker 1: right now. It's very nice. I'll tell you what. It's
Speaker 1: seventy five degrees here in Los Angeles. What's the temperature
Speaker 1: like out in New York, Eileen, It's probably like seventy
Speaker 1: but we have some misty rain. I'm wearing overalls and
Speaker 1: a white tank top that I'm happy. You love fall weather.
Speaker 1: I can already tell totally do. How do you know that?
Speaker 1: I can just hear it in your voice. It's the
Speaker 1: best season. God, I love fall, when it's like mid
Speaker 1: time fifties at night and it's that crisp air and
Speaker 1: the foliage and you get a fiery were sweatshirt, you
Speaker 1: have some beers with friends around it like it's just
Speaker 1: the best. Anyway, we don't have to talk about my
Speaker 1: own You want to hear why, no, no, no, it's
Speaker 1: okay because you want to hear why. It's a tip
Speaker 1: I always give because I'm a very big on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I give tips to the day and tips of dating.
Speaker 1: And the point of the matter is good weather, get
Speaker 1: your butt outside, and you never know where you can
Speaker 1: meet someone. Ever, so if you're inside and the air
Speaker 1: is crisp and you're feeling good, walk down the street smile.
Speaker 1: You don't know who you meet. Well, you don't want
Speaker 1: to walk down with like a crazy smile from cheeky cheek.
Speaker 1: People are going to look at you and be like,
Speaker 1: what is this person? Well, I didn't say crazy. Now
Speaker 1: you have Yeah, you both have very nice teeth. I
Speaker 1: will say I did watch you both. My daughter and
Speaker 1: I am a very big fan. She's fifteen, So, um,
Speaker 1: what's your daughter's name? My daughter is Sydney and she's fifteen,
Speaker 1: and we're very big fans of the Bachelor and The
Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise. However, that name, oh, oh my god,
Speaker 1: let me go right now, she's yelling at me. So
Speaker 1: can I go tell her you said you love that?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, of course, Well I love I love
Speaker 1: Sydney because my favorite oh please do, My my favorite
Speaker 1: movie franchise of all time is Scream, and so Sydney
Speaker 1: Prescott is one of my favorite movie characters of all time.
Speaker 1: And so Sydney, I swear to god I just met
Speaker 1: in the hour. But wait a second, Sydney. Oh no,
Speaker 1: for Sydney. Yeah, listen, listen, hold on, can you guy
Speaker 1: Plouder out ahead, This is Sydney. Say hello, Hi Sydney,
Speaker 1: It's Jared. And hey Sydney, it's Dean. Said guys. Well,
Speaker 1: I was just saying from my own personal my my
Speaker 1: favorite movie franchise of all time is the Screen Franchise,
Speaker 1: and so my favorite movie character of all time, one
Speaker 1: of them is Sydney Prescott. So one of my favorite
Speaker 1: names is Sydney. So when your mom said that your
Speaker 1: name is Sydney, I was like, great name, love that name.
Speaker 1: I told her how much we love watching the show together.
Speaker 1: It's something we do together. Appreciate it. We apologize that
Speaker 1: you won't be seeing our faces on TV on Monday
Speaker 1: nights very long. I'm actually happy about that. But you
Speaker 1: want to hear how much I don't believe in the
Speaker 1: shows though. In reality unfortunately, we actually do a pool
Speaker 1: in my house and as a matchmaker I try to
Speaker 1: see who the last three people will be. And do
Speaker 1: you usually get it right each season? Yeah? Sometimes yes,
Speaker 1: sometimes no, because you know, it's it's a little hard
Speaker 1: to throw in the reality kick about it at the beginning. Hard,
Speaker 1: But I'm very happy for you, Jared. Congratulations, Thank you
Speaker 1: so much. I really appreciate it. Well, our love really
Speaker 1: blossomed off show. We were just lucky enough to be
Speaker 1: on the show. Of course, of course, true love happens
Speaker 1: when at least expected. Are you guys friends who actually
Speaker 1: and I? Yes, oh yeah, we're best of friends. We've
Speaker 1: been we've been We've been best friends for you know,
Speaker 1: a little over two years before we started dating. I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously with some ups and downs to say the least, um,
Speaker 1: but we always remain close throughout that time. And so
Speaker 1: once we started dating, I was a little concerned it
Speaker 1: might be a weird transition from friends into relationship. But
Speaker 1: it was it was so easy and seamless. Um, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm very truly lucky for that. Oh yeah, we're It's
Speaker 1: cool because we've been dating now for you know, god,
Speaker 1: since March. So how many months is that I can't
Speaker 1: do the math, just about seven months? And um, we
Speaker 1: see each other all the time. I think there hasn't
Speaker 1: been maybe a day that I haven't seen her. There's
Speaker 1: maybe like been three or four days over that seven
Speaker 1: months I haven't seen her, and I just haven't gotten
Speaker 1: tired of her. But that's the cool thing about being
Speaker 1: friends before you start dating, because there's this rapport um
Speaker 1: that her and I have that I've never really experienced
Speaker 1: in a relationship before. So it's pretty cool. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie. I'm I'm extremely lucky right now. Well, I'll
Speaker 1: tell you one thing. I was just in the the
Speaker 1: New York Post last week, and I was just in
Speaker 1: the Huffing Dip Post and magazine, and they asked me
Speaker 1: not name dropping. No, I'm totally named dropic that's amazing,
Speaker 1: though I name drop all the time. To worry about it.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, it was paid sticks in the Atoms
Speaker 1: and it was on Tuesday. I read that I just
Speaker 1: read the article, Oh you did, I love thank you?
Speaker 1: But I was just in a magazine and I'll send
Speaker 1: you guys, and I'm sending things to on purpose. They
Speaker 1: asked me one of the key things I feel that's
Speaker 1: important about a relationship. So I always say, you have
Speaker 1: to be friends with the person because everyone everyone's body
Speaker 1: is going to drop. We're on air, so we're gonna eventually,
Speaker 1: so I have to watch my language. But everyone's body
Speaker 1: is going to change. Someone's always go to be prettier center.
Speaker 1: But the core that will keep you moving forward is
Speaker 1: when you're seventy and sixty and no one's around and
Speaker 1: you want to sit with that person and go to
Speaker 1: a movie. Yeah, you're gonna hate them a lot, you
Speaker 1: have to hate them, but also you have to evolve
Speaker 1: and change that. The friendship has to be the core. No,
Speaker 1: I completely agree, So I obviously advocate people being friends
Speaker 1: before they start dating. Um, But I mean I also
Speaker 1: want to hear a little bit about you and where
Speaker 1: your background from and how you became a New York
Speaker 1: based matchmaker and relationship expert. Really, um, how did you
Speaker 1: get in this field? And and and kind of give
Speaker 1: us a little background about you. So the truth of
Speaker 1: the matter is that it I mean, I'm always asked
Speaker 1: this question, and I always say it came. It just
Speaker 1: comes natural to me, like how people like being a mother,
Speaker 1: It comes natural to me. Um. I was in the
Speaker 1: I was just born in New Jersey and I was
Speaker 1: in the garment center. When I was in the garment center,
Speaker 1: I got so many people married. When I was in college,
Speaker 1: I got my roommate married. UM, I got my own
Speaker 1: brother married. I was that girl that went up to
Speaker 1: everyone on the street instead, are you married, You want
Speaker 1: to pull around my friend, you want to meet my friend,
Speaker 1: you want to meet my friend. I was always the
Speaker 1: winged person saying you want to meet someone, you want
Speaker 1: to meet someone. And then I got married and I
Speaker 1: actually met my husband trying to set him up with
Speaker 1: somebody else. And yeah, my husband wasn't for me being
Speaker 1: a matchmaker because I'd be around so many men. Um.
Speaker 1: Time went on, I introduced loads of people who got married,
Speaker 1: and finally I said, I want to open a business. Um.
Speaker 1: I couldn't ask people for money. Though it was called
Speaker 1: match from the heart, I just loved doing it, So
Speaker 1: it didn't work. Out and then I started being with
Speaker 1: this elite connections where I'm not scared to ask for
Speaker 1: the money anymore. Well, I was about to say, it's
Speaker 1: very ironic that at the beginning you were afraid to
Speaker 1: ask for money because you just want to set people up.
Speaker 1: Because now Elde Connection is very notoriously known for the
Speaker 1: exclusivity of its matchmaking um It has over twenty four
Speaker 1: years of success, but it's specifically it's a very high
Speaker 1: end matchmaking company to say the least, because what some
Speaker 1: of the you know what some of the money that
Speaker 1: you charge your your clientele. So studdy, I've got in
Speaker 1: trouble for saying how much money it was from. So
Speaker 1: it's anywhere. No, No, I don't care because it's it's
Speaker 1: not like I'm lying. It's anywhere from six thousands of
Speaker 1: fifteen thousand. It depends your there's other things. How long
Speaker 1: the contracts are really depends or if you want to
Speaker 1: become a v I P meaning a man that travels
Speaker 1: wants to meet someone because he wants to move to
Speaker 1: Florida or whatever. But I'm very different than my partner
Speaker 1: and she hates this. I only charge men. Why is
Speaker 1: that I only charge men? Because I really enjoy working
Speaker 1: for men and I love meeting all these women. It
Speaker 1: just opens up a bit of a bigger category for me.
Speaker 1: I feel a lot of matchmakers. When you have men
Speaker 1: and women, they'll look in their files only and they'll say, Okay,
Speaker 1: Dean Bean just signed up, you know, let me click
Speaker 1: Bean in my file and Amber matches up with Dean.
Speaker 1: So it works because it's kind of like the game
Speaker 1: of constant remember stapples and concentration. For me, I sit
Speaker 1: with a man and he tells me about himself, and
Speaker 1: it's my job to go out there and find him somebody.
Speaker 1: And that's why I love what I do, because I
Speaker 1: get to meet I probably meet about twenty something women
Speaker 1: a week, and there's not many I like because half
Speaker 1: of them come. One of the things that people have
Speaker 1: learned my doormen are in on it. If the girls
Speaker 1: don't say hello to my doorman, my dormant gives me
Speaker 1: a like a like a little wink and tell me,
Speaker 1: if you're not gonna say hello to my doorman, how
Speaker 1: are you going to be nice. It's very similar to
Speaker 1: like somebody not bringing a pen to apply for a job.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys ever heard that old?
Speaker 1: Have you guys ever se? Have you ever seen a
Speaker 1: bronx tail on Broadway? Not on Broadway, but I've seen it,
Speaker 1: I'm sure. Okay, So first ever Broadway show I went
Speaker 1: to a couple of months ago, Bronx Tail. There was
Speaker 1: a scene in it where the protagonist is going on
Speaker 1: a date and he gets this bit of advice from
Speaker 1: his father figure where he says, you get out of
Speaker 1: the car, you pull up to the house, get out
Speaker 1: of the car, lock both of the doors. Um, go
Speaker 1: greet your your date. Walker to the car, unlock the door,
Speaker 1: open the door for her, let her get it in,
Speaker 1: close the door, and you walk behind the car and
Speaker 1: you look through the back window. And if you don't
Speaker 1: see her reach over the seat and unlock your driver's
Speaker 1: side door, then she's not the one for you, right.
Speaker 1: And it's a very similar thing to the doorman situation.
Speaker 1: If they don't if they don't say hello to the doorman,
Speaker 1: then maybe not the person for you. It's it's that's
Speaker 1: exactly right. And it's so simple, and it goes back
Speaker 1: to that smile and not the weird smile you guys
Speaker 1: walking down the street. But we always have a weird
Speaker 1: smile on Yes, you're right, You're right. You guys are
Speaker 1: l a. Could you guys always have to have those
Speaker 1: beautiful white teeth smiling right, exactly, exactly right. I try
Speaker 1: use a lot of a lot of teeth whiting exactly.
Speaker 1: Can you guys give me who that is? It doesn't
Speaker 1: work in New York as much. Um So, like yesterday,
Speaker 1: and when I meet clients mail clients only at a
Speaker 1: coffee house or I meet them for a glass of
Speaker 1: wine at the same places. So like someone bashed me
Speaker 1: on on social media, and I know it's not me
Speaker 1: because they said, I meet it Starbucks, and I meet
Speaker 1: at one coffee house only, and I meet it two
Speaker 1: bars on purpose because I've had some weird stuff happen.
Speaker 1: And yesterday my clients, the guy who was coming to
Speaker 1: meet me didn't see me yet, and I watched him
Speaker 1: in the in the coffee house and how he how
Speaker 1: he was with a woman and he sat down and
Speaker 1: I've said nice job, and he goes, what are you
Speaker 1: talking about. I go, you were a gentleman. You made
Speaker 1: sure you let her take it. He goes, wow, I go,
Speaker 1: it's so important, those little things. And he's like Eileen,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I go. People forget the little things.
Speaker 1: They're going to go longer. You know a man. One
Speaker 1: of the things I tell them at first, do not
Speaker 1: take a woman out to Blue Ribbon sushi. This sounds crazy.
Speaker 1: No one deserves the top of the line. Yet, no
Speaker 1: one needs to know why you got divorced. No one
Speaker 1: needs to know why you're still single. It takes time
Speaker 1: to get to know people. So what would you suggest
Speaker 1: for first date? Like, what do you think of the
Speaker 1: ideal first date? A Sunday brunch? Sunday brunch? Talk about
Speaker 1: a millennial first day. Let me tell you, guys why
Speaker 1: Friday night everyone's like, shoot, I got a drink, I
Speaker 1: had a bad week. Saturday everyone's sometimes it's like what
Speaker 1: do I do? What do I do? Saturday Night normally
Speaker 1: is romantic. So my choices are Sunday Day, where everyone's like, ah,
Speaker 1: I have the whole day still. And I don't mean
Speaker 1: you have to go anywhere, like go for a freaking
Speaker 1: walk and go for brunch somewhere or Saturday night. But
Speaker 1: right middle line, don't I mean you guys don't live
Speaker 1: in the city. Store don't want to start name dropping
Speaker 1: restaurants or anything, but you know, just middle of the
Speaker 1: line places you don't have to go crazy. You may
Speaker 1: not see the person again. Yeah, like four point two stars.
Speaker 1: Those types of classes. You know, they're not like four
Speaker 1: point excellent, but they're also not like three point three
Speaker 1: gar not garbage, but below average, like a nice four
Speaker 1: four point one, four point two Right in there, there's
Speaker 1: a great Chinese food place right next to my house.
Speaker 1: Oh there we go, we the stars on it. I
Speaker 1: also hate texting. I was about to ask you, so,
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts about dating apps? I hate them.
Speaker 1: And it's not because don't think it's because I'm jealous,
Speaker 1: And don't think I was going to say say, I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, let's remove elite dating out of the
Speaker 1: picture here and say you're you're. You have some friends
Speaker 1: that are, you know, hopelessly single and they want to
Speaker 1: find someone. You would never suggest a dating app for them, ever, ever. Ever.
Speaker 1: First of all, a dating app is like a magazine
Speaker 1: I and what it is is all you're doing is
Speaker 1: looking at person's face and you're saying, oh, they're hot,
Speaker 1: they're not hot, oh there whatever, and you just keep
Speaker 1: on looking like a magazine and the next page your
Speaker 1: next page, I don't like it. To me, it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: I like that pocketbook, but let me look a little
Speaker 1: bit more for another pocketbook. The thickest thing about the
Speaker 1: apps is and I did it to try it, Tinder,
Speaker 1: Oh tinder. Um. I once I went away with my girlfriends,
Speaker 1: we got ten guys to come within forty five minutes
Speaker 1: to come to the restaurant. Um, so that's the bachelorrette basically, yeah,
Speaker 1: if that's exactly right, exactly. But the point is with
Speaker 1: a real live person, meaning me. So the worst thing
Speaker 1: I have in the true story a woman will send me.
Speaker 1: I ask everyone for their photos before we meet. They
Speaker 1: come to me and I say, do you really think
Speaker 1: you look like this photo? Because the guy's going to
Speaker 1: see you. So on apps, Um, Dean, you could have
Speaker 1: picked you. I mean, well, it's bad because you guys
Speaker 1: are really good looking. But um, a bad example here.
Speaker 1: But you know, you guys can put a picture up
Speaker 1: from like five years ago, and that's what people do
Speaker 1: on apps, and they're stupid because everyone's going to see
Speaker 1: you in person. So with me, I make sure I
Speaker 1: get the photo sitting next to me that when my
Speaker 1: clients see them, they look exactly like they look like.
Speaker 1: And I think apps are just the way of keeping
Speaker 1: people busy. So why do you hate texting? Because texting
Speaker 1: is the most misread thing ever, And and those stupid
Speaker 1: emojis you put it, you know whatever. First of all,
Speaker 1: you can't tell anybody's tone. You can't tell anything from
Speaker 1: a text. You know, you can't tell sarcasm, you can't
Speaker 1: tell if it's really whatever, because you're taking that text
Speaker 1: and taking it into your mood. So let's say Dean
Speaker 1: texting you right now, Jared, you're reading it because the
Speaker 1: mood you're in and you're a stumming what how he's
Speaker 1: feeling it or whatever? Because you can't hear the tone
Speaker 1: of somebody, And and you're forgetting everybody when when you're
Speaker 1: on when you when you were at Ashley, she's talking
Speaker 1: to you right, Wait, Dean, are you dating anyone? I'm
Speaker 1: like getting back into the dating pool slowly, But Shirley,
Speaker 1: we're waiting back into the water. Okay, good, I'm happy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: very simple. But that's a good thing. But when you're
Speaker 1: with Ashley and you're she's texting you whatever. But when
Speaker 1: you hear her voice tone, doesn't it make you feel
Speaker 1: better when she's talking. Yes, you're absolutely right. Whenever I here,
Speaker 1: she shut up. My point is is that on a
Speaker 1: text they're misread. How many you know, they're mostly misread
Speaker 1: for not understanding what the other person saying. And that
Speaker 1: happens to me so so often. Is because I'm I
Speaker 1: am a sarcastic, especially when I text people. People don't,
Speaker 1: I guess, recognize the humor in it. Yeah, because I
Speaker 1: just think I'm flinnier than I really am. I think
Speaker 1: also to not only do people misread it, but they
Speaker 1: overthink it right. They take every word at its core
Speaker 1: meeting and it's like, please don't do that. She probably
Speaker 1: didn't mean what you think that she's meaning right now
Speaker 1: because you're just overthinking it and over analyzing it. And
Speaker 1: how many times do you reread it? Right, Especially when
Speaker 1: you first start meeting someone, you read it. How many
Speaker 1: times do you reread a message before you actually send it.
Speaker 1: That's one of the things that I used to do, right,
Speaker 1: Oh oh, so guys, just so you know more, more
Speaker 1: thing going back, so being a matchmaker and then going
Speaker 1: on an app, I get the third side of the story.
Speaker 1: You don't understand how many times the guy will say
Speaker 1: to me, you know, Eileen, I don't know if they
Speaker 1: like me. And then I talked to the girl, She's like,
Speaker 1: I really had a nice time. The best thing is
Speaker 1: that I get the feedback and I can help it
Speaker 1: or hurt it, because there's always that third story. So
Speaker 1: how many times have you guys been on a date
Speaker 1: and you're like, once again, you guys are good looking,
Speaker 1: so you have a step up and you guys are nice.
Speaker 1: But the point is how many times were you unsure
Speaker 1: that so you didn't call someone after because the aucture
Speaker 1: if they didn't like you. So having a matchmaker, I'm
Speaker 1: actually giving the feedback to you to make you feel better. Essentially,
Speaker 1: you're essentially that mutual friend, the unbiased mutual friends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're like the middleman. Right, that's exactly right. And and
Speaker 1: none of this is about me, like when people eventually
Speaker 1: people say, well, as I lean messed up, I am
Speaker 1: messed up. The world is but whatever, I actually just
Speaker 1: know what I'm doing because I listen, I self reflect
Speaker 1: on every single thing, and you know, this is my
Speaker 1: gift that I was and I just listen and I
Speaker 1: say it and I and I'm honest, I'm kurt. When
Speaker 1: a woman comes to me and her boobs are out.
Speaker 1: I'm like, why are your boobs at when you're meeting me?
Speaker 1: You know? Fair question? Yeah, I mean, what do you
Speaker 1: think I'm going to look at the whole time? You know?
Speaker 1: And what do you think a guy is going to
Speaker 1: look at? Or when a woman says our first question
Speaker 1: what does he do for a living? What does that
Speaker 1: matter right now? You know? Um? And I also have
Speaker 1: a really good rule, Dean. This is for you. You're ready,
Speaker 1: ready the first three months, everyone spake. The next three
Speaker 1: months you're getting to know the person for real. Then
Speaker 1: one after that you're going to fight. If you get
Speaker 1: through that, then you can start really getting into a relationship.
Speaker 1: So you're saying a real relationship doesn't start until about
Speaker 1: nine months in yep, yep. I would agree to that
Speaker 1: because from people I've heard from that have been married,
Speaker 1: they talked about how like the first few months first
Speaker 1: year really is like this puppy love phase, and then
Speaker 1: you're going to go through some bad times and you're
Speaker 1: gonna have arguments and there's going to be disagreements, and
Speaker 1: if you can overcome that period and those trials and tribulations,
Speaker 1: if you can overcome that together, that's when the real
Speaker 1: relationship starts and when real starts setting in. So I totally,
Speaker 1: I totally got you there. I think that's absolutely true
Speaker 1: that you need to like, people need to understand that
Speaker 1: that things will change, but that doesn't mean that they're
Speaker 1: changing for the worst. And I think some people correlate
Speaker 1: that right, Like, if it's like this poppy love infatuation
Speaker 1: starts to go away, they immediately think, oh, maybe this
Speaker 1: isn't the person for me. When actuality, that's going to
Speaker 1: happen pretty much with anybody you start spending a lot
Speaker 1: of time with, which circles back to how we started this,
Speaker 1: that you have to be friends with the person because
Speaker 1: it's going to go up down. It can't always be
Speaker 1: great sex, it can't always be a funny night because
Speaker 1: everyone's moods of the day is coming in everything. You know,
Speaker 1: life is part of everything. Um. But it circles back
Speaker 1: to how we started this, that you have to be
Speaker 1: friends with the person. The person has to evolve and
Speaker 1: change with you. You have to be a Socialization is
Speaker 1: part of life, So when you're out with friends, you
Speaker 1: can look across the room and be happy that's your partner.
Speaker 1: Even if you're not across you know, like it's fun.
Speaker 1: And so it goes back to as you're going through
Speaker 1: the time, you have to be the friends. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: totally agree. You have to have some sort of a
Speaker 1: port before you start jumping into a relationship. I think
Speaker 1: I always advocate that being the best course, totally total.
Speaker 1: That's kind of newly found beef with the whole Bachelor
Speaker 1: franchise sometimes is because you're expected to start a relationship
Speaker 1: so early on before establishing a friendship, like with in
Speaker 1: Jared's case, you know, you had a relationship quote unquote
Speaker 1: with Ashley, then you then you established your friendship, and
Speaker 1: then that's when you're like, okay, you actually, no, we
Speaker 1: really love each other. Let's be boyfriend girlfriend. So a
Speaker 1: lot of times it's like, oh, you're on the beach
Speaker 1: three days into it, you're like, all right, are you
Speaker 1: guys boyfriend or girlfriend or boyfriend women? And you're like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just meant well. You hear couples
Speaker 1: a lot too when they leave the Bachelor, after they
Speaker 1: get out of this world, even if they leave engaged,
Speaker 1: they vocalize about how okay this is when we start dating,
Speaker 1: you know, we've fallen in love. We have all these
Speaker 1: emotions and feelings. We want to make this work. But
Speaker 1: now we're actually gonna start dating exactly and deem for
Speaker 1: you and hour it's taken. I mean, it's wonderful that
Speaker 1: you're super good looking, but it kind of You've got
Speaker 1: to be careful with that also, because your looks are
Speaker 1: going to attract, you know, really nice looking women who
Speaker 1: want you, and the problem is that there could be
Speaker 1: an average looking, really amazing woman who could be really
Speaker 1: good for you, and the strong, gorgeous women are going
Speaker 1: to come at you because holy he's a good looking guy.
Speaker 1: You know, you know, I only know you from TV.
Speaker 1: I hate to say, I mean i've never met you. Um,
Speaker 1: same thing with you, Jared and your your love story, Jared.
Speaker 1: What I see and with Ashley is beautiful because it
Speaker 1: goes back to what I say, friends, and it's so wonderful. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it's wonderful. And I know a lot of it's bullshit
Speaker 1: on TV, but Dean, don't let the strong women come
Speaker 1: at you because you're so good looking. Well, he's got
Speaker 1: a good head on his shoulders too. That works out well,
Speaker 1: is the extremely good look looking but he's a smart
Speaker 1: man as well. And I'm also only fit you guys
Speaker 1: that go to the gym. It's really fit and funny, charismatic. God,
Speaker 1: his head is not fitting through that door. Later. Well, Eileen,
Speaker 1: just want to say thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: Eileen Fisher, you are a v I P matchmaker at
Speaker 1: Elite Connections International. So where can where can people find you?
Speaker 1: You can find me at Elite Connections at or Eileen
Speaker 1: at Elite Connections at dot com perfect and that's based
Speaker 1: out of New York. So if you're in New York
Speaker 1: and looking for a kind of a new way to
Speaker 1: meet somebody, definitely check out a Leade Connections. Aileen, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. Thank you, Eileen, tell goodbye. That's of
Speaker 1: lucky you guys. I'll tell Sydney alright, bye you guys,
Speaker 1: thanks so much, by bye. She was great. I liked her.
Speaker 1: I liked her a lot. She was I was very
Speaker 1: scared that she was going to be more hardcore. When
Speaker 1: I was reading up on her, I was like, this
Speaker 1: girl is going to come in and tell us get
Speaker 1: off your phone, get out there and meet people, stop complaining.
Speaker 1: And she was so soft spoken and so sweet and
Speaker 1: so genuine. She's definitely a Jersey girl. You can tell. Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was born in Jersey. That's probably why were you
Speaker 1: were born in Jersey, New Brunswick seventeen. When'd you moved
Speaker 1: to the West coast? The what do you call this
Speaker 1: place over here? It's starts with the See I've lived
Speaker 1: in l A for four years, but I grew up
Speaker 1: in Colorado. Oh, that's right, you're from Colorado. Yeah, God,
Speaker 1: I forgot about that. I've told you this story before, right,
Speaker 1: My family moved from New Jersey when I was like
Speaker 1: one year old. We lived in an RV for like
Speaker 1: three years, and then eventually we settled and I don't
Speaker 1: think I knew that. Actually we lived in like trailer
Speaker 1: parks for a better part of three years. So, Dean,
Speaker 1: do you have any old VHS tapes and that RV
Speaker 1: of yours? Yeah? Yeah, I think I have tons of
Speaker 1: HS tapes. I don't know about you RV, right, but
Speaker 1: just VHS tapes. Like it was a lot of like
Speaker 1: polaroids or even like floppy disks. Floppy disks. What a
Speaker 1: fun phrase to say. What's a fun word? Really? Floppy?
Speaker 1: What's funny is my mom was writing a book or
Speaker 1: a journal through the entire process of living in an RV,
Speaker 1: and she kept all of it on a floppy disk
Speaker 1: and it wasn't until recently that I was able to
Speaker 1: get access to that, and it was all through like
Speaker 1: a se box, all through. Legacy of Box will tell
Speaker 1: us a little bit about it. So basically what Legacy
Speaker 1: Boxes is. It's it digitally converts consumer videotapes, camp orders, vhs,
Speaker 1: film reels, prints, thirty slides, cloud storage, blah blah blah
Speaker 1: blah blox, ctera, etcetera. All of the things that you
Speaker 1: use and have used in the past to document your journeys,
Speaker 1: your experiences, whatever it is, and it digitizes it for you.
Speaker 1: So what you do is you fill a box with
Speaker 1: old home movies, old pictures and they'll do the rest,
Speaker 1: professionally digitizing your moments onto a thumb drive, which you
Speaker 1: can then review and look back at any time. You
Speaker 1: can download it digitally, get it on DVD, whichever is
Speaker 1: best for you, easy to follow instruction, safety bar codes
Speaker 1: included for every item. Receive all your original recorded moments
Speaker 1: back along with perfectly preserved digital copies. You get personalized
Speaker 1: updates at every step. Receive up to twelve of those
Speaker 1: personal updates because it does take a little bit of time.
Speaker 1: They have to go through a lot of stuff and
Speaker 1: there are a lot of processes in order to digitize that.
Speaker 1: So they are the world's largest most trusted digitalizer. Oh
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, digitizer of homebe Home vias and photos. Over
Speaker 1: four fifty families have trusted Legacy Box over a decade
Speaker 1: of experience, and all the work is done by hand
Speaker 1: right here in the USA. I kind of want to
Speaker 1: get this from my family for Christmas because my parents
Speaker 1: have so many old vhs is, like they still have
Speaker 1: you know, the Titanic where it came in two tapes
Speaker 1: because the movie was too long. I like vividly remember this,
Speaker 1: and my parents still, I swear to God, still have
Speaker 1: a the dual VHS and DVD player because we also
Speaker 1: have a home video that was shot in that is
Speaker 1: very near and dear to our hearts that I think
Speaker 1: would be a great gift to get digitized. That's a
Speaker 1: great idea use Legacy Box. There was there was one
Speaker 1: VHS recording I remember that we took and I accidentally
Speaker 1: recorded over the half of the VHS tape and my
Speaker 1: family was upset well, the question becomes, what did you
Speaker 1: record over it? I think it was like something on
Speaker 1: TV that I accidentally mistakenly did, but I specifically remember
Speaker 1: this memory. It was like PG story. I was hoping
Speaker 1: something better. Oh okay, well it was that, but I
Speaker 1: remember that my brother was doing something funny and ridiculous
Speaker 1: in the pool, and like we called the entire family
Speaker 1: and like come watch it together and we start playing
Speaker 1: it and like it was like prices right or something.
Speaker 1: I remember everyone looked at me and they're like, what
Speaker 1: did you do? And I was like, I'm sorry. Anyways,
Speaker 1: There's never been a better time to digitally preserve all
Speaker 1: of your memories. Be sure to visit legacy box dot
Speaker 1: com to get started. Plus for a very limited time,
Speaker 1: what Legacy Boxes offering for our listeners is an exclusive
Speaker 1: discount and if you go to legacy box dot com
Speaker 1: slash Dean, you get off your very first order or
Speaker 1: save up to two on the largest Legacy Box kit,
Speaker 1: which is an incredible deal. So go to legacy box
Speaker 1: dot com slash dean that's legacy box dot com slash
Speaker 1: D E A N and say forty save today. So
Speaker 1: get started, start preserving your past and preserve people, relive
Speaker 1: those memories for as long as you possibly can, because
Speaker 1: those are the things that makes us who we are today. Anyways,
Speaker 1: let's move on to Lola. Well, the question becomes what
Speaker 1: is Lola? Do you know what Lola is? Because I do.
Speaker 1: Lola is a female as you know Lola is, yea Vanessa.
Speaker 1: You know what Lola is? I know Lola, Lolo? Do
Speaker 1: you know what Lola is? Someone tell me what that
Speaker 1: Lola is. We're all asking each other. Somebody explain this
Speaker 1: for the love of God. Well, it's something that I
Speaker 1: would use, something that actually would you just a matter
Speaker 1: when I was like, because you want to have like
Speaker 1: organic campponds and paths. So basically what I love hopes
Speaker 1: about it is the female founded company because you know
Speaker 1: how like campons and pads and stuff were like the
Speaker 1: female products are usually um created by men, but this
Speaker 1: is actually a female sounded company. The offer a line
Speaker 1: of organic coffee, tampons, pad liners, and all natural cleansing
Speaker 1: whites with I absolutely adore. Like other major brands, BULA
Speaker 1: products are hustles on naturals and easy to feel good
Speaker 1: about nobs. No mystery fibers or doubts about what's going
Speaker 1: on in your body or what you're putting in your body.
Speaker 1: Already toxin plus Dola products coming at a simple customizable subscription,
Speaker 1: so basically they deliver exactly what you need, exactly when
Speaker 1: you need it um And I don't know if you
Speaker 1: guys know this. I just found out. Basically the FDA
Speaker 1: doesn't require which is kind of not This is like terrible.
Speaker 1: It doesn't require brands to disclose the comprehensive list of
Speaker 1: ingredients in their female feminine care products, and most of
Speaker 1: them don't. You actually don't even know what you're using
Speaker 1: because it's not all the ingredients are are listed in
Speaker 1: the back, so little also complete transparency about the ingredients
Speaker 1: found their tampons, padliners, and a wife. Major branding and
Speaker 1: make the pathetic ingredients, which is growth in their products,
Speaker 1: including rayon and polyester um. There are the funds. Products
Speaker 1: may also be treated with harsh chemicals, cleansing agents, fragrances
Speaker 1: and dies. You guys are have in your menstrual cycle.
Speaker 1: But as a female who has to go through this
Speaker 1: every month, you want to know exactly like what you're
Speaker 1: using or what you're putting into your body. Lola products
Speaker 1: are a hundred percent organic cotton with no added chemicals, fragrances, athetics,
Speaker 1: or dies. So it makes having your period a little
Speaker 1: bit neusier. Every month. You can fully customize your subscription
Speaker 1: and you can choose your mix of products, mix of absorbancy,
Speaker 1: number of boxes and frequency of delivery. Um Lola subscription
Speaker 1: is super flexible. You can change, skip or cancel your
Speaker 1: subscription at any time. Because there's a box which is
Speaker 1: really cool of eighteen or eighteen campons or twelve pass um.
Speaker 1: You know, if you want to use a pad at night,
Speaker 1: if you want to to pass uring the day, and
Speaker 1: and you can decide how many boxes you'd like to
Speaker 1: deliver to your door, select your certain frequency. You can cancel,
Speaker 1: skip and order or modify your subscription anytime, which I love.
Speaker 1: So there's no like you know, you don't have to
Speaker 1: You can cancel it whenever you want, where your boxes are,
Speaker 1: subcure door and provides yourself on no surprise or gimmicks.
Speaker 1: So guys, for everybody listening right now, off all the subscriptions.
Speaker 1: Excuse me. All you have to do is visit my
Speaker 1: Lola dot com and then you enter help when you subscribe.
Speaker 1: That's h e l P you probably, guys, you know
Speaker 1: how to spell it obviously better than I think it's not.
Speaker 1: It's is good alright, So just visit my lola dot com.
Speaker 1: You enter help when you subscribe, you get off all
Speaker 1: these subscriptions at Lola. All the ladies listening out there.
Speaker 1: If you want to try something new, um, you know,
Speaker 1: to get their leadings a little something. All right, Well,
Speaker 1: I actually have a quick game that I want to
Speaker 1: play with Dean and Vanessa. I'm calling this because I'm
Speaker 1: self proclaiming it ted questions with Dean and Vanessa that
Speaker 1: pertained dating because weren't help I suck a dating and
Speaker 1: I was hoping I was hoping east won have a
Speaker 1: little thing there for me, like a little wazoo you
Speaker 1: know nothing? All right? Moving on? Thanks Easton? Why am
Speaker 1: I still talking? Yeah? Where am I? Alright? So, guys,
Speaker 1: this is we did. It's like a little we did
Speaker 1: it with Jason and Blake. We just asked him a
Speaker 1: couple of questions. It was a nice little segment. I
Speaker 1: want to do it again with you and Vanessa. Learn
Speaker 1: a little bit more about you, guys in your dating
Speaker 1: life and what you do when you date. Are you
Speaker 1: guys ready, alright, just exactly think of it as rapid fire,
Speaker 1: like think of it. Don't have to think too much.
Speaker 1: I want to know what your instinct would say. All right, boom.
Speaker 1: So ten questions with Diana Vanessa. Number one on the
Speaker 1: first date, would you guys rather do a dinner day
Speaker 1: or some sort of activity? Activity? Activity? What kind of activity? Paintball?
Speaker 1: You want to do? Paintball? That's would you guys be
Speaker 1: on the same team? Would you bounce? I would light
Speaker 1: her up? Oh god, that's a great first day. Somehow,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's leading to a second day. And
Speaker 1: what you said activity, Vanessa? I said activity. I would
Speaker 1: do something like laser tag. Okay, it's very similar to
Speaker 1: what I just said. That's just copying. It's like version
Speaker 1: of it. Okay, well I'll leave the tag. Go next.
Speaker 1: Oh boom, I like Easan's playing little music of the background.
Speaker 1: Number two, who's your number one power couple in the
Speaker 1: world today? Obama's good choice. I didn't think of that,
Speaker 1: of course, what do you I'm the most basic person
Speaker 1: you're gonna meet. It's totally Tomas, I would say. I
Speaker 1: always refer back to him. Will Smith and Jada oh
Speaker 1: Do said about them, jadas some pretty very pretty fond
Speaker 1: things about like he's always my person, he can always
Speaker 1: kind on me. They're they're definitely up there for sure,
Speaker 1: totally or Action and Mila. That's like a very underrated
Speaker 1: power couple that have been friends for a very long time.
Speaker 1: I love that. Actually, I and Jared our mind actually
Speaker 1: get at it all right. Number three, If you could
Speaker 1: pick one person in history, whether it be a public
Speaker 1: figure or celebrity, who would you want to go on
Speaker 1: a date with? Bruce Lee? You would want to go
Speaker 1: on a date with Bruce Lee? Percent what would you
Speaker 1: talk about? Everything? Please teach me your way. The most
Speaker 1: fascinating an interesting person to ever grace this planet? Would
Speaker 1: you pay? You're such a gentleman, Vanessa. Who are you
Speaker 1: taking on a date? Anybody in history? Anyone in history?
Speaker 1: Who is that? He's actually one on my birthday, the
Speaker 1: reason why he became a she's an Olympic gymnast from
Speaker 1: the stage and you would, okay, But part of the
Speaker 1: going on a date is you have to be open
Speaker 1: to kissing them at the end of it, are you
Speaker 1: open to kissing? Yeah? Okay? Mine was marily Len Monroe.
Speaker 1: Just for the simple coolness of it. All Right, So
Speaker 1: celebrity today, who would you take on a date? Number
Speaker 1: four has be somebody that's pretty in in the know
Speaker 1: of popular culture. Great question, Constance who as starring actress hilarious. Oh, Dean,
Speaker 1: I can see the twinkle in your eye. You got
Speaker 1: a little crush? Yeah, Vanessa, you picking celebrity today pop culture?
Speaker 1: Who you got? I mean I was really close to
Speaker 1: going on a day with him, Rick Fox, Rick Fox
Speaker 1: from the l A Lakers. Wait wait, you were almost
Speaker 1: going on a day with Rick Fox. How have we
Speaker 1: never talked about this story before. It's a long story.
Speaker 1: I didn't almost go on a day with him as
Speaker 1: a joke. I mean we he was. He was my
Speaker 1: celebrity crush. When Nick and I were dating, We're on
Speaker 1: Jimmy Kimmel and they, you know, you do like that
Speaker 1: that questionnaire, like the newly wet questionnaire, and they asked
Speaker 1: who would you have like a cat blanche for? And
Speaker 1: I said Rick Fox? And then Ryan Seacrest called me
Speaker 1: with Rick Fox on the phone, and then I bumped
Speaker 1: into Rick Fox at Craig and we had she spoke
Speaker 1: and I was like, holy you were you were my
Speaker 1: crush and this was all why you were dating very scandalous. No,
Speaker 1: this happened after Yeah, oh so it was like a
Speaker 1: real thing. This could have happened. You could be dating
Speaker 1: with Fox right now. No, he's he's I think it's
Speaker 1: a little for I thought you said too little, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sorry, he's like six eight. What
Speaker 1: are you talking about? Okay, all right? Number five? What
Speaker 1: is one thing you look for in a partner that
Speaker 1: maybe you didn't look for five years ago? Oh? Um,
Speaker 1: five years ago. I'm just trying to put myself back
Speaker 1: in college, Dean. I love college Dean. Think the Lord
Speaker 1: that you did not meet college Dean, any of you
Speaker 1: people I wish because Boyle Boy was he just a
Speaker 1: miserable human being that experience me would be like, Dean,
Speaker 1: you have this unbelievable ability to put a smile on
Speaker 1: anybody's face. I swear to God, I'm not taking for
Speaker 1: a compliment there. I'm so sorry for even changing and
Speaker 1: putting the topic. What do you look for maybe that
Speaker 1: you weren't looking for five years ago? A sense of humor?
Speaker 1: You weren't looking for that five years ago? That was like,
Speaker 1: that's on my top list all the time. I can't
Speaker 1: really think of it five years ago. Probably uh someone
Speaker 1: who I don't I know how to word this, Like
Speaker 1: I'm more open now to dating long distance than I
Speaker 1: was five years ago. Oh interesting, Yeah, are you currently
Speaker 1: in a long distance relationship? Just kidding, I'm fishing Francis
Speaker 1: now you didn't you just post them on Instagram saying
Speaker 1: that you couldn't do a long distance relationship or maybe
Speaker 1: I'm no, no, no, no, I said I would. I
Speaker 1: would move if I had a career and I had
Speaker 1: like my own little community of people living in a
Speaker 1: different city, because if not, then it becomes too much
Speaker 1: about the relationship, all right. Number six. One spot in
Speaker 1: the world to go on a date. Where are you going?
Speaker 1: Where are you taking your man or woman? Country, country,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter, international, boom, anywhere in the world. You'd
Speaker 1: be like, this is the one spot I want to
Speaker 1: take my person on a date. Dan, I don't know
Speaker 1: if you could relate to this, but did you go
Speaker 1: to us Seminiac? Okay, anyway, there's this craziest I don't
Speaker 1: know if he's on my Instagram. My story is the craziest.
Speaker 1: Sunset in Bali on on the beach in Semiiac and
Speaker 1: I was like, I wish I had so a significant other.
Speaker 1: You have all of the places in the world you
Speaker 1: go on a date, you would go back to the
Speaker 1: place that you were just out a week ago, of
Speaker 1: all the places you haven't been to, you wouldn't consider
Speaker 1: any of those possibilities in that moment. In that moment,
Speaker 1: I wish I was in a relationship, and I wish
Speaker 1: I had so much experience it with. Yeah, well all right,
Speaker 1: so Dean, where's yours? SERI? Why? I don't know, I've
Speaker 1: just heard it's incredible, O there. I've always wanted to
Speaker 1: visit a new experience for both of you. The thing
Speaker 1: that you can see the difference between you and Vanessa
Speaker 1: because Vanessa wants to go to a spot that she
Speaker 1: already knows it will be great where You're like, no,
Speaker 1: let's go on on a venture together. Interesting might be Providence,
Speaker 1: Rhode Island. Number seven. You have to pick the movie
Speaker 1: for your first movie date together? What are you picking
Speaker 1: for the movie for? No, not for a first date,
Speaker 1: like the first time that you guys are going to
Speaker 1: collectively sit down on the couch and go and watch
Speaker 1: a movie together. But she's like, or he, I want
Speaker 1: you to pick. What are you picking? Interstellar interest? First date,
Speaker 1: the first day, like the first time you guys watch
Speaker 1: a movie together. It's three hours long. That's a very
Speaker 1: long movie. So so so good. It's great, and it's
Speaker 1: kind of indicative of how the rest of the relationship
Speaker 1: might go watching movies. Is she gonna be asking me
Speaker 1: questions the entire time? Is she gonna build follow the
Speaker 1: storyline as much as I would need her to? To
Speaker 1: be fair Christopher Nolan, film is very difficult to fall
Speaker 1: unless you are very much paying attention, So it would
Speaker 1: be a test. It's a test and also enjoying, enjoyable
Speaker 1: for me because I love that movie so much. Fair enough, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: what's yours? I think something um that's funny? Is so
Speaker 1: either wedding crap. You're probably wedding crass. To see if
Speaker 1: they get that, if they have the same sense of
Speaker 1: humor as I do. Perfect Its most basic answer, But
Speaker 1: I love every second of it. Actually, when I was
Speaker 1: so my first girlfriend, when we first started dating, this
Speaker 1: is like a third or fourth date, and we were
Speaker 1: going to watch No, no, no no, no, We're gonna watch
Speaker 1: a movie together, and I really wanted to watch like
Speaker 1: a romantic comedy. This is back in like two thousand
Speaker 1: and no. So what I watched was A Girl next Door.
Speaker 1: I picked it out and it was really awkward because
Speaker 1: we were at Hollywood Video at the time. God I
Speaker 1: missed those stores and Blockbuster, and so she's like, what
Speaker 1: movie do you want to watch? And I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what we could watch would be A Girl
Speaker 1: next Store. I think you'd really like it. And I was.
Speaker 1: She was like, well, what's it about? And I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: it's this girl she used to be a porn actress,
Speaker 1: but she's trying to get out of it. She falls
Speaker 1: in love with this guy and she's like, um, are
Speaker 1: you sure I'm gonna like this? Mind you? This is
Speaker 1: like the third time we've hung out, so she might
Speaker 1: already have question marks and I was like, please, just
Speaker 1: trust me, and she ended up loving the movie. Underrated
Speaker 1: You don't really hear about it all highly underrated Meal Hers.
Speaker 1: She's one of my favorite actors of all time. Um
Speaker 1: all right, Number eight Tinder a Bumble. If you had
Speaker 1: to join one Tinder or Bumble, which one are you joining?
Speaker 1: It depends at what point in life I am and
Speaker 1: if I'm traveling right now. But if I'm moving local
Speaker 1: and trying to find a girlfriend. Bumble. Interesting, Yeah, tender
Speaker 1: is known is more than the hookup. Well, no, it's
Speaker 1: not more of a hookup. It's just it's more international.
Speaker 1: Like if you I talked to my friends that are
Speaker 1: simple of that travel, they're always on Tinder. So tender
Speaker 1: is like pitpulla yep, Mr Worldwide, gotcha, Vanessa? What are
Speaker 1: you picking? Uh? Neither, you gotta pick one. I I
Speaker 1: guess Wait, is it probably um Tinder? Because bumble is
Speaker 1: the woman has to message the guy first, So you
Speaker 1: want a guy to message you. I want to be
Speaker 1: pursued because in real life I always have to pursue
Speaker 1: the guy, so I want to be pursued. That's still
Speaker 1: insane to me. Number nine is the three The three
Speaker 1: day rule completely dead. Now the three day rule what
Speaker 1: it is? So pretty much the three day rule is
Speaker 1: that you're supposed to wait. It's not technically three days,
Speaker 1: but you're supposed to wait to contact someone after a
Speaker 1: day to like, yeah, I agree to be playing these
Speaker 1: games now. I don't even think it's an age thing.
Speaker 1: I think it's just a respect. I think it's an
Speaker 1: age thing because I think it's changed with Mordern technology,
Speaker 1: It's no longer like you need to like wait a
Speaker 1: little while before content contacting them after a date. So
Speaker 1: I mean you should. You shouldn't seem like super thirsty
Speaker 1: and eager either, But three days. I would think if
Speaker 1: someone's messaging after three days or not interested, it's probably
Speaker 1: not going to respond after three days. So after a
Speaker 1: good date, Dean, if you were on a date with somebody,
Speaker 1: would you text them that night and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: I had a good time. I just got home. I
Speaker 1: had such a love leavening with you. But yeah, totally
Speaker 1: I agree. By the way, I know you have another
Speaker 1: question to ask. But Vanessa was just in Bali, as
Speaker 1: we all know that, and she was with a girl,
Speaker 1: Vanessa Ala, who eventually I'm going to take down a date.
Speaker 1: Are you guys talking? I mean, no, we're we're friends.
Speaker 1: I don't I wouldn't want some friends. I was never
Speaker 1: a person. Yeah, we have each other's phone numbers. There's
Speaker 1: really really pretty girl that Vanessa's with. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I talked to Robert Graham. I was like, Roberts set
Speaker 1: me up with her, so pretty, Oh my gosh, and
Speaker 1: he goes he puts us in a group chat together,
Speaker 1: and I tell Vanessa was like, Vanessa, this girl is
Speaker 1: so pretty and you're with her, like speak highly of me?
Speaker 1: How could you not? And so one of these days
Speaker 1: we want I want to have her as a guest
Speaker 1: in studio with us. One of these days, I think
Speaker 1: that can we meet her on the podcast? Can you
Speaker 1: guys meet for the first time on air? Live day?
Speaker 1: I need this a live day. Yes, yeah, she live
Speaker 1: in l A. Think, Oh my god, this needs to
Speaker 1: happen next week, next week. What's funny is I saw
Speaker 1: I've talked to a couple of other people, um and
Speaker 1: who I guess are familiar with her and know her.
Speaker 1: And even Vanessa said this same thing too. They're always
Speaker 1: like you guys are so horribly mashed for each other,
Speaker 1: Like just I just don't see it whatsoever. And do
Speaker 1: you know what? You don't know me well enough to
Speaker 1: make that decision right now over the health care? Is
Speaker 1: bringer in studio? This would be fun question? All right?
Speaker 1: Last one? Do you stalk someone on a date before
Speaker 1: you go on them? You stalk someone? Do you stalk
Speaker 1: someone on social media before you go on a date
Speaker 1: with them? All right? Love it bom Ten questions with
Speaker 1: de Vanessa. That was fun, guys. I appreciate your honesty.
Speaker 1: Of course. I think we have one email email times.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna talk about Islands because it's delicious. We
Speaker 1: had a bunch of food for us today. Islands. Island
Speaker 1: is pretty great Eastern What do you have from them? Oh,
Speaker 1: we got food. We got food from Islands today. I know, Vanessa,
Speaker 1: you're missing out. They have these these incredible burgers that
Speaker 1: just take me back to the South Pacific. And uh,
Speaker 1: my favorite one is called the Maui something. It said
Speaker 1: Maie on you can't remember the name of it. It's
Speaker 1: just messing with his mind. I'm a big fan of
Speaker 1: the Caso burger because I love caso and it's covered
Speaker 1: in spicy white caso and I'm I'm down for anything
Speaker 1: case sliders. You can't go wrong with anything. So again, now,
Speaker 1: the November twenty five Islands is offering a limited time
Speaker 1: in the case So burger, Jared's favorite, covered in spicy
Speaker 1: white case so crisp tortilla strips and pickled jalapenos. And
Speaker 1: you can download the Island Rewards app and you start
Speaker 1: earning your free burgers and exclusive offers right now. You
Speaker 1: just got download the app. That's super easy. I got
Speaker 1: like seventy two aps on my phone. In addition to that,
Speaker 1: you can also follow them on Instagram. It's at Islands Burgers.
Speaker 1: Check them out, order their food. You will be very happy.
Speaker 1: You did, very happy. So big thank you Also to
Speaker 1: Legacy you can use our limited time offer and go
Speaker 1: to Legacy box dot com slash Dean d e A
Speaker 1: and get off your first order or save up to
Speaker 1: two on the largest Legacy Box kid. Big thank you
Speaker 1: to Lola. Also, you can get off all subscriptions by
Speaker 1: visiting my Lola dot com and enter the word help
Speaker 1: when subscribing. Also a big thank you to Ritual. Ritual
Speaker 1: you can choose clean ingredients when you sign up with
Speaker 1: Richel dot com slash Dean Vanessa. You're amazing it always
Speaker 1: Tory Eastern. You guys are the best. To give a
Speaker 1: big thank you to Cale Robertson and Eileen Fisher for
Speaker 1: being guests on the podcast as well. The best. You
Speaker 1: can check out cal on meretith first site and can
Speaker 1: go to Elite Connections to check out Eileen Dean. You're
Speaker 1: the best. Vanessa, You're the best. Love you Guysla Bla
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah. So much love and tune
Speaker 1: in next week, where hopefully we all suck a little less.
Speaker 1: Follow help by Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and
Speaker 1: Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: podcast