Speaker 1: It wouldn't be Las Vegas Week, also known as Viva
Speaker 1: Las Content without talking to the comedic mayor of the city.
Speaker 1: A staple on the strip, his legendary two decade run
Speaker 1: at the Luxor helped define the stand up industry and
Speaker 1: stands as one of the longest running shows in any hotel.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: His style, equal parts stand up, prop comedy and pure chaos,
Speaker 1: has made him one of the most recognizable performers in
Speaker 1: the world. An inventor at heart, he's appeared on TV
Speaker 1: shows like George Lopez, Scrubs, Glee, and Hacks, and starred
Speaker 1: in his own movie, nineteen ninety Seven's Chairman of the
Speaker 1: Board spelled b O A r D. Do you guys
Speaker 1: get that joke?
Speaker 3: As opposed to.
Speaker 1: R D yeah, which is a norm McDonald joke, We'll
Speaker 1: play the clip. In an industry that hasn't always known
Speaker 1: what to do with him, here he is forty years
Speaker 1: since his first open mic, still selling out shows and
Speaker 1: allowing visitors to take a break from losing money to
Speaker 1: laugh while in the entertainment capital of the world. So
Speaker 1: please welcome to Pod Meats World or Props Meets World.
Speaker 1: The hardest working man in Vegas it's carrot top.
Speaker 2: Yay, yay Vegas.
Speaker 1: Okay, Oh my gosh, I'm so glad to hear you
Speaker 1: say that, because I do have to do. We we performed.
Speaker 1: We have a our podcast here, Podmets World. We did
Speaker 1: a pod Meats World live tour and we performed in
Speaker 1: Vegas and it was a very let's say, quiet crowd.
Speaker 2: Well it depends, It's very true. Vegas is an interesting
Speaker 2: kind of beast. Yeah, for a lot of reasons. One,
Speaker 2: I mean if you come like people start drinking literally
Speaker 2: not a joke, you know, seven in the morning, and
Speaker 2: then by time you know, there in the sun and
Speaker 2: then by the pools, and then they come you know
Speaker 2: the show where air conditioning sometimes feel for them like bros,
Speaker 2: you know, thank you for wait for eight o'clock at night.
Speaker 2: And I spent the one day, but I just started
Speaker 2: taking show at ten o'clock. Ten is late for me.
Speaker 2: It's late. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And they also have a general like you come to Vegas,
Speaker 1: you expect to.
Speaker 2: Be sure the building blow up. I mean they Yeah,
Speaker 2: there was.
Speaker 3: Used to be a pirate ship where there.
Speaker 2: Was Yeah, you're like, this is I get show? Lights
Speaker 2: come on?
Speaker 4: You know something that there was just the three of
Speaker 4: us on stage.
Speaker 2: Yeah, to blow people with They don't they don't understand it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I've had people come to this fear they go, it's okay.
Speaker 2: One of my favorites years ago that I had people
Speaker 2: were coming. I was leaving the hotel. They were coming
Speaker 2: and I said, uh, they said, oh my god, we
Speaker 2: saw we saw your show last night. I said, all thanks,
Speaker 2: and they said, we went saw the Beatles Love was
Speaker 2: here at the Maracco the Beatles Love. And I said,
Speaker 2: oh wow, how is dad? They said, oh, it's horrible.
Speaker 2: And I said, I mean if they thought my show
Speaker 2: was good and they thought the Beatles of course, okay, Like,
Speaker 2: thank thanks Dad. I was like, how did you? How
Speaker 2: was what was bad about it? And they said, I
Speaker 2: swear to god he looks his wife because he was like,
Speaker 2: all Beatles music, that's real. It was a Beatles music,
Speaker 2: like it's called the Beatles Love. Like Jesus, I want
Speaker 2: to people are stupid, That's why they came to my show.
Speaker 2: I loved it.
Speaker 1: Do you have a very like a specific memory of
Speaker 1: maybe your most drunk audience member or it's oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've too many to count. We've had people sleep
Speaker 2: through I mean, we had a guy jump on stage,
Speaker 2: which is kind of strange with the stages. But he
Speaker 2: didn't just come on stage. He jumped on stage. So
Speaker 2: it was like, I'm just standing in the middle of
Speaker 2: doing something. I don't know what I'm doing, and it
Speaker 2: just like he just appeared. It was almost like a
Speaker 2: like a like a just boom and I was like,
Speaker 2: what the And of course my crew is like you know, security,
Speaker 2: and he is just like dude, and I'm like, I
Speaker 2: said hey, He's like hey, and I said.
Speaker 3: What's up.
Speaker 2: I just wanted you guys just want to give you
Speaker 2: a hug. I said, you can give me a hug.
Speaker 2: And I'm It went on for like a minute or two.
Speaker 2: I mean, no one's coming to help me, so, uh
Speaker 2: so where are you from? You know how long you've
Speaker 2: been in Vegas? And then like interviewing the guy like
Speaker 2: Murk Griffin and someone find the guy to sea And
Speaker 2: then I said, how did you get here? He said?
Speaker 2: What is it? Where you sitting? He said? He said
Speaker 2: right there? And I'm like, did you didn't go? He said, no,
Speaker 2: I just jumped. He jumped from the third row like
Speaker 2: like a like a certain us the lad guy right
Speaker 2: and stay and I said, no, no, you're not going back
Speaker 2: that way. We have to take you around like the
Speaker 2: regular way. Don't jump over back into the watch. I
Speaker 2: have stunt men that come to my shop. Oh man,
Speaker 2: it's crazy that anyway. He was not even I don't
Speaker 2: think he was that drunk. He was just excited to
Speaker 2: meet me. Able to give you that is then my wallet.
Speaker 1: How many shows do you do a year here?
Speaker 2: Two hundred and forty? Yeah, I know, it's nuts. My
Speaker 2: manager has a car payment, so.
Speaker 1: We just do you How do you do two hundred
Speaker 1: and forty shows a year? You do six shows away.
Speaker 2: I'm very good.
Speaker 1: Nor ethic is incredible.
Speaker 2: No, it's a lot of shows, you know. I'm not
Speaker 2: gonna lie. It's a lot of shows. But it's also
Speaker 2: a fun job. I mean it's a It is a lot, though,
Speaker 2: and it goes by like that. I mean, it's crazy.
Speaker 2: We were just talking about that. We just we just
Speaker 2: started and we're already Saturday. So yeah, I mean it's fun.
Speaker 2: You keep it the show fresh. It's one thing that's fun.
Speaker 2: You keep new jokes, what's going in, which makes it
Speaker 2: every night a different night, and the crowd's a different
Speaker 2: night every night. But it is a lot of ship,
Speaker 2: especially for you. Uh yeah, I drink baking soda. You know,
Speaker 2: just put a box of baking soda in your refrigerator.
Speaker 3: You just put that product does.
Speaker 2: Everything everything, keeps you fresh, keep shooting you. But I
Speaker 2: don't know. I don't know because I've had people that
Speaker 2: have asked me, like one of my favorite someone asking me,
Speaker 2: how do you how do you do this? With Steven Tyler,
Speaker 2: And we went to see Aerosmith okay, and afterwards he
Speaker 2: was like, hey man, it's a brother, and he just said,
Speaker 2: how many shows you? How many shows you do? I said,
Speaker 2: I said, like six a week, six a week Jesus,
Speaker 2: Well like not like every week. I said, well, not
Speaker 2: every every week, but I have two hundred and forty shows.
Speaker 2: And he just looked at me and said, how do
Speaker 2: you do that? Yeah? And I'm like, you're Stephen Tyler.
Speaker 2: Why are you asking me like I should be asking you.
Speaker 2: You're Steven Tyler. I don't know. I don't have the
Speaker 2: answer to that. So he was just amazed. He just
Speaker 2: didn't said the same thing. I can't get up with
Speaker 2: this every night. I said, yeah, you can. You know,
Speaker 2: you just get the energy or the music the people
Speaker 2: coming in doesn't half the crowds disgruntled shows.
Speaker 4: Do they feel different now than when you started or
Speaker 4: is it all kind of the same.
Speaker 2: No, it's always different. Yeah, And also the elements that
Speaker 2: the show energy changes. Like you said, somebody the crowd
Speaker 2: can be a little somber whatever. Maybe I call them
Speaker 2: listening crowds. They were listening crowd because they were they
Speaker 2: really were there listening. And then you get the ones
Speaker 2: that are too rowdy, that yell over the punchlines and
Speaker 2: that kind of that kind of you don't want that either.
Speaker 2: You don't want too rowdy and you don't want too sleepy.
Speaker 2: So you want that nice in between good comedy crowds.
Speaker 2: So yeah, but you get them all. But you're changing
Speaker 2: jokes like you're No, I haven't changed a joke in
Speaker 2: thirty years. I'm still doing Nixon jokes. And I used
Speaker 2: to have a prop, by the way, which is which
Speaker 2: a running prop even I could I say myself. It
Speaker 2: was a It was a cell phone for my grandma
Speaker 2: that had a roadary dial on it. It was years ago.
Speaker 2: I made it. It would kill and if I did
Speaker 2: it now, people no idea what people like, what it's
Speaker 2: a roadary. Oh yeah, you don't have, but he used
Speaker 2: to kill you know, twenty five years ago. I made it.
Speaker 2: So when right when cell phones came out, I said,
Speaker 2: my grant, my grandma has one I made us that
Speaker 2: you can use it. You know, it was brilliant. Now
Speaker 2: it's like what wow, God, there's a lot of things
Speaker 2: that you find that are that are that uh or
Speaker 2: sometimes the props are relevant, they stay relevant with the joke.
Speaker 2: But there's another one an ice tray. So it was
Speaker 2: an ice trade right away, we've lost.
Speaker 3: Right, there's a listening.
Speaker 2: It was an ice tray that I had a level
Speaker 2: on it, so when you put it back in the freeze,
Speaker 2: you wouldn't stole. Right, Well, it's always killed and still
Speaker 2: would do if I do it as a classic. Here's
Speaker 2: a care classic. But but I always say the same thing.
Speaker 2: How many people don't know what an ice tray? A? Literally?
Speaker 2: Most of the crowds like it's so funny though, because
Speaker 2: it's you know, they get it, yeah right, but they
Speaker 2: don't know they've never held one?
Speaker 4: Do you do you go back to older props like
Speaker 4: will you find something that you haven't used the years?
Speaker 2: Really don't want to work that in again. No, no,
Speaker 2: not unless it's an old prompt that can be relevant
Speaker 2: to a new you know. I mean, like it was
Speaker 2: a whatever of a phone case that used to keep
Speaker 2: people from texting. And so then Trump comes out like,
Speaker 2: oh it's for It's so great, it's it's a cell
Speaker 2: phone case for Trump.
Speaker 3: So we won't take it, you know, but.
Speaker 2: But I do I find it. But you just, uh,
Speaker 2: it's hard to sit in us in his chair and
Speaker 2: not do that, right yeah, right there, we can't well
Speaker 2: you know, I talk with Russian. But but yeah, so
Speaker 2: that's the time I use it if I but I
Speaker 2: don't want to. I'd never used to go back to
Speaker 2: an old joke unless we a couple of a couple
Speaker 2: of years ago we came up with, Uh, we were
Speaker 2: doing a lot of road shows, and I thought we'd
Speaker 2: put together a classic Carra top trunk and it was
Speaker 2: kind of cool because I would do you know, now
Speaker 2: it's time for all the people who've been the shows
Speaker 2: years ago. It's time for care classics. And they were
Speaker 2: all the old you know, from the eighties and nineties,
Speaker 2: and that was fun going through them and doing them.
Speaker 2: And like Listra says that no one was an ice train,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to talk to you about your workshop
Speaker 1: because you mentioned do you keep all of your sweat.
Speaker 2: Shop full of children that are but there's a bar there.
Speaker 2: We keep them, We keep them entertained.
Speaker 1: You make all your props right, pretty.
Speaker 2: Much all of them. I have had a few that
Speaker 2: I've had to outsourced to to have because it would
Speaker 2: be too much for me. You know, I would call
Speaker 2: it engineering or something a motor or lights. Because sometimes
Speaker 2: I'll come up with an elaborate idea and I'm like,
Speaker 2: no one's gonna I can't make this. I mean, it
Speaker 2: would be great if I could. But then I I'll
Speaker 2: get someone out and the and they usually will come
Speaker 2: back with something crazy.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had an idea for a prop that
Speaker 1: ended up being impossible to make?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Probably? I mean I had one that I thought
Speaker 2: was was pretty impossible, and I had I don't know
Speaker 2: how the guy made it, and I sent him a drawing,
Speaker 2: you know, like on a napkin. Uh, because I never
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't own a computer. I don't write
Speaker 2: any jokes on computers.
Speaker 1: Don't own a computer.
Speaker 2: It's all just notes everywhere, thousands of books and notes
Speaker 2: and no it's just a lot of comics ext like
Speaker 2: John Rivers, and they all had index cards and get
Speaker 2: people when you know, when she passed, they they found
Speaker 2: all these crates of right now amazing and some I'm
Speaker 2: sure that people you read and go, what the but
Speaker 2: she would know it, you know, Yeah, a lot of
Speaker 2: minds like that. There's just there's like drawings and people.
Speaker 2: But it was it was the senator and it's just
Speaker 2: crazy stop topic. But this senator, I don't know, man,
Speaker 2: it's been probably ten years ago. It was in a
Speaker 2: bathroom stall in the airport Minneapolis. Oh yeah, the guy
Speaker 2: with the my legs are too wide, the shoot tap thing.
Speaker 2: So I'm it's just the most bizarre thing, right, But
Speaker 2: I'm thinking, oh, I need a prop for this, right,
Speaker 2: So I said, how about a briefcase where a shoe
Speaker 2: comes like a leg comes down like a you know,
Speaker 2: like an actual dress leg and a dress shoe like
Speaker 2: a Gucci shoe, And I hit a button and it
Speaker 2: comes down, and I hit another button and it taps
Speaker 2: and then I come back up. You know, right, I'm thinking, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm wish for thinking and it is great, Like no,
Speaker 2: I what the best part about it is the guy says,
Speaker 2: I got it.
Speaker 1: I got a shot.
Speaker 2: It was like, yeah, what kind of shoe? Because I
Speaker 2: shoe and we can do anything, and it was unbelievable.
Speaker 2: We did it all all the shows and it was
Speaker 2: just I remember, I don't know if it's Jay Leno.
Speaker 2: One of the shows, it was just like, how did you?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I don't know. I thought of it.
Speaker 2: Let me eave a loan. That alone is weird. But
Speaker 2: the actually to actually really make it was an incredible one.
Speaker 2: It it went down with one button and another button.
Speaker 2: It would tap the button to come up, and it
Speaker 2: was just people like that was great. It was so
Speaker 2: topical and it was so.
Speaker 4: Have you ever invented anything not for comedy? Like you
Speaker 4: come up with something that.
Speaker 2: Invent event and probably more than two dozen and three
Speaker 2: dozen things that have that that have become items that
Speaker 2: weren't comedy that really am tell us, well, they've never
Speaker 2: been mine. So that's the sad part of the story
Speaker 2: because I'm pretty, I'm pretty, I'm not that bright. I'm
Speaker 2: sure your audience already knows that. So I I you know,
Speaker 2: I never copywriter a trademarked anything. Where is when I
Speaker 2: was a young kid. Now that I'm eighty, I think
Speaker 2: I probably, but I would have there's a And I
Speaker 2: tried pitching this to Shark Tank only because I had
Speaker 2: met Mark you and I said, you know, I have
Speaker 2: all these things that i've you know, you're so clever.
Speaker 2: And I said, well, I've got about it two dozen
Speaker 2: that I made that people have stolen, right, So it's like,
Speaker 2: give me, give me one, I said, I one is
Speaker 2: And it's very elementary. It's people. A lot of people
Speaker 2: like toilet paper over the roll and some people like
Speaker 2: it under. It's literally strange, really split right under people
Speaker 2: are how many people under? How many people over? People?
Speaker 2: And they would all whatever I said. So that's why
Speaker 2: I made this. And it's a toilet paper dispenser, and
Speaker 2: it's it's so elementary that you'd never realize that there's
Speaker 2: the role right you want it over, it's over if
Speaker 2: you want it under a screw and it goes over right,
Speaker 2: and the crow would go and I would go right,
Speaker 2: and I go, it's not even funny, but it's it's
Speaker 2: And people were like, holy well, someone apparently saw me
Speaker 2: do it on like you know, Regis and Kathy Lear
Speaker 2: Tonight Show or whatever shows I did, and and even
Speaker 2: called it the.
Speaker 3: Toilet paper Flipper.
Speaker 2: That's why I made the toy. But there's been one
Speaker 2: hundreds of them. There was a baseball bat that you'd
Speaker 2: swing and it would make a crack noise, so it
Speaker 2: sounded like kids were getting it and has the crack bat.
Speaker 2: So there's one hundreds of them. Yeah. I had a
Speaker 2: toilet seat that would light up. Now that's right. How
Speaker 2: many years we had that? Yeah, I had a you
Speaker 2: know in the eighties, way before the ag probably well
Speaker 2: eighties before the eighties, hold on back when I did
Speaker 2: Jack Parr Show, I had that toilet. I'd have a
Speaker 2: little button on it and it would light up and
Speaker 2: so you wouldn't be on the rim and they'd pop.
Speaker 2: Were like, yeah, it was my closing bed people, you
Speaker 2: know not.
Speaker 3: And of course then somebody takes it. Man, that's incredible.
Speaker 2: It was my My closing was a bunch of toilet seats.
Speaker 2: One time it was about ten toilet seas, and comics
Speaker 2: would make fun of me even to this day, like, yeah,
Speaker 2: he's a total seat but because I did have a
Speaker 2: doll tolet seat jokes, but they were but they were solid.
Speaker 2: I mean, they had one that would hold women's here
Speaker 2: and they're throwing up. You know, had one was lit up.
Speaker 2: I had one with a seat belt, so we eat
Speaker 2: a taco bell. Yeah, so it was like a toilet
Speaker 2: seat jokes even works, right, I'm like I got another one,
Speaker 2: like no more toilets.
Speaker 1: Your father was a NASA engineer.
Speaker 2: That crazy, Yeah, that's probably got some of the Maybe
Speaker 2: I think I might have gotten some of my father's
Speaker 2: some of.
Speaker 3: The toilet sea stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know, like that part of his brain
Speaker 2: maybe where I create and uh and imagine and think
Speaker 2: of this stuff. Him being an engineer, I think that
Speaker 2: I must have gotten that little part. I didn't get
Speaker 2: anything else, but I got that.
Speaker 3: When did he work I'm sorry, when did he work
Speaker 3: at NASA?
Speaker 2: Uh? Sixties?
Speaker 3: So like during all the moon landings and everything there.
Speaker 2: Before that he did Gemini, Skylab, Apollo, all the Apollos,
Speaker 2: and then he ended the shuttle. He was involved in
Speaker 2: the shuttle.
Speaker 3: This is like my I'm a big space guy, so
Speaker 3: hearing this.
Speaker 2: Yeah he was. It was incredible for me. And as
Speaker 2: a young kid, you don't you don't appreciate as much
Speaker 2: right when you're that age because you want to go play, ride,
Speaker 2: your bike, and like, we're going to go to a launch.
Speaker 2: I don't want to go to a launch, you know,
Speaker 2: I want to ride my bike. So we're going to
Speaker 2: go to the astronauts. I don't want to meet astronaut.
Speaker 2: So you go. You know, did you get to meet
Speaker 2: the astronauts? Yeah, in shorts and flip flops, you know
Speaker 2: where you go up and in the zu. Yeah, they
Speaker 2: walked me in. I'm like, that's an astronaut's you know, yeah,
Speaker 2: smoking a cigarette.
Speaker 3: See you know, well they're healthy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well there did, just trying to get the last
Speaker 2: one in. You know, they can't make space. But yeah, no,
Speaker 2: it was. It was incredible looking back on it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: my dad, you know, he invented a lot of the
Speaker 2: things that were involved in the Shuttle. The one in
Speaker 2: particular was not him himself, a team, but a team
Speaker 2: of people, just like I have a team of the
Speaker 2: Beta carrot team. Yeah, that team of people and uh,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna write that time, but I'm gonna care with
Speaker 2: a like a rocket team get beta carrots. And so
Speaker 2: when the shuttle was when they had to take the
Speaker 2: shuttle on top of the seven forty seven, Yeah, my
Speaker 2: dad's team was what was the ones that had to
Speaker 2: come up with the clamp that would hold it onto
Speaker 2: the shuttle and also release it from the show, so
Speaker 2: they wouldn't, you know, crash and didn't know if it
Speaker 2: was gonna release and fly right, So how my dad
Speaker 2: was so stressed out of course, I'd be like, what
Speaker 2: are you working on? Is I'm trying to figure out
Speaker 2: this clamp? But I'm like that sounds like fun? Cool? Yeah,
Speaker 2: cool da great, good luck? And then it would have
Speaker 2: happened the night we were all watching it and you know,
Speaker 2: they didn't know, no one, NASA didn't know. They're all
Speaker 2: in a room watching it, and I said, okay, really
Speaker 2: release the shuttle, do you know? Boom and the clamp
Speaker 2: let go and the shuttle went off and it just
Speaker 2: went away, and everybody's like that could have been the
Speaker 2: other way around.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: So yeah, it was incredible.
Speaker 1: So you got your inventor brain. I think that little
Speaker 1: chip maybe from your dad. Where did your stage presence
Speaker 1: and desire to be on stage?
Speaker 2: From my mom? The stripper? Perfect commendations?
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I got my I got my personality, I'm
Speaker 2: sure from my mother. My mother was and my dad
Speaker 2: wasn't not funny. My dad was really funny. But he
Speaker 2: was funny, you know, just like a joke telling way,
Speaker 2: you know, old guy the joke, you know, and he
Speaker 2: would tell him and that, you know, working in the
Speaker 2: cul de Sac, and I'd sit there listen, I'm telling him,
Speaker 2: and then I would go tell them and I'd get
Speaker 2: in trouble to school because I was telling these jokes that
Speaker 2: were inappropriate for school, but I didn't know they were funny.
Speaker 2: The driveway, everyone else was laughing. No, did you tell
Speaker 2: this joke in school today anymore? So?
Speaker 3: Did you always want to be a comedian?
Speaker 2: Then? I mean, going all the way back to I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think what age it was. But I
Speaker 2: would watch like the Tonight Show, and uh, that was
Speaker 2: it really because it was only three channels, the Tonight Show,
Speaker 2: and I would I would sneak out and try to
Speaker 2: watch the Tonight Show. And then when my mom would
Speaker 2: let me watch it and i'd start, she'd say, you
Speaker 2: really like the I just love the comedian. With all
Speaker 2: the comedians that came on, it was just fascinating to me,
Speaker 2: whether was it with George Carlin or Henny Youngman or
Speaker 2: Buddy Hackett or whoever was on Don Rickles, all of them.
Speaker 2: I just was so amazed. I was like, this is
Speaker 2: so funny. But when you're in that age, you don't think.
Speaker 2: You just think I want I'm gonna do that, right,
Speaker 2: not in your age, like I'm going to be an astronaut. Great,
Speaker 2: then you're like, oh you gotta be smart. Well all right,
Speaker 2: you think you can just pick whatever profession you want,
Speaker 2: which nowadays, which kids would just just picked something and
Speaker 2: stick with it, right, Like, just just want to be something.
Speaker 2: I always tell young people, you know, you're a lot
Speaker 2: of you people like I don't know anything. We kind
Speaker 2: of I think you do. Unless you have, you know,
Speaker 2: inherit a billion dollars, you probably should find a job.
Speaker 1: Even then, even then, really even just for your mental
Speaker 1: and if you should.
Speaker 2: Even if you're you're you're a son or daughter of
Speaker 2: a billionaire, you probably should find something entertain yourself. Besides
Speaker 2: count cash. It's got something else exactly swimming in your money. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but yeah, it's important to have something in your life,
Speaker 2: whether it just be Yeah, but but I did so,
Speaker 2: I wanted to do it, but I wasn't really honestly,
Speaker 2: like a class clown, I wasn't really until I got
Speaker 2: to about thirteen. I would start saying things to my
Speaker 2: friends like we're on the beach and we had a
Speaker 2: bonfire in Jacksonville Beach and you know, summer and like
Speaker 2: thirty of us and we have a bonfire and we're
Speaker 2: being saved. These cops came out and they said, hey,
Speaker 2: you know, you can't have a fire in the beach.
Speaker 2: You got to put it out. And I said to
Speaker 2: the cop, well, this is the safest place to have
Speaker 2: a fire on the beach is water and sand. It
Speaker 2: will then possibly go wrong. And he just looked at
Speaker 2: me and he's like, you know, take it in the wood,
Speaker 2: in the woods, and I think they were safe here.
Speaker 2: And my friends were like that was funny. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: it was. It was like observational humor. It would just
Speaker 2: pinpoint things that were like not right, why are we
Speaker 2: doing this? You know, you know you this door has
Speaker 2: to be remaining closed all times, and then why have
Speaker 2: a door? So I write all these things down and
Speaker 2: they were just stupid, but you and that became my
Speaker 2: acts and I started, you know, telling the stories.
Speaker 3: Who are your favorite comedians?
Speaker 2: Growing up, we talked a lot about I mean, George Carlin.
Speaker 2: People always sounds like the same people when people be
Speaker 2: asking any comic. But it was my era, it would
Speaker 2: definitely be George Carlin and H Richard pryor uh Gary Shandler.
Speaker 2: There's so many it's kind of hard to pick this.
Speaker 2: What's hard to probably if he has a band too,
Speaker 2: who's your favorite band? I don't know. We got some
Speaker 2: of our timing from so and so the Stones and
Speaker 2: who the Eagles. But I did study Carlin's tapes. I
Speaker 2: mean I would watch his timing and his and we
Speaker 2: did that you know, a little punch on Hey, you
Speaker 2: know what, You're an idiot, you know. Uh? And I
Speaker 2: I still do that in my show. I do that.
Speaker 2: I do that pop thing. And then I say, I
Speaker 2: took that from Carlyn, you know, yeah, but uh yeah.
Speaker 2: And I just kept studying that. And then I went
Speaker 2: to college and they had an open mic uh whatever
Speaker 2: you call it, open mic open mic night, and my
Speaker 2: friend said something like, yeah, you should do that, and
Speaker 2: I said, oh, I'm go to it. I said, no,
Speaker 2: being it And I'm like, what am I gonna what?
Speaker 2: Am I gonna know?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 2: I play a banjo or something? I said, no, no,
Speaker 2: go up and tell jokes. I'm like, I don't have
Speaker 2: a joke. You always have jokes, And so they talked
Speaker 2: me into it and I went up and I said,
Speaker 2: I can I be part of this thing? And I
Speaker 2: was gonna go up and tell some jokes. And I
Speaker 2: just went up and told joke jokes, you know, yeah,
Speaker 2: and Joe, you know old joke. You know. It's something
Speaker 2: like a you know, guy guy and his wife are
Speaker 2: sitting at the dinner table and her husband says to
Speaker 2: the wife, listen, you got to start working the street
Speaker 2: and making some money. We're not doing well. And she's like, oh,
Speaker 2: for God's sake. So she goes out that night, comes back,
Speaker 2: husband be like, well, how to go She said, well,
Speaker 2: I made five hundred and five dollars. He's like, Jesus,
Speaker 2: who the hell gave you five dollars? She goes everyone.
Speaker 2: So it was like those kind of jokes and so
Speaker 2: and that's the one I get in trouble to school,
Speaker 2: like did you tell the fire?
Speaker 3: And FO.
Speaker 2: They loved it. The kids loved it. It was launch
Speaker 2: year olds killed in the cafeteria.
Speaker 3: So then how do you get from there to.
Speaker 2: Interesting? It's interesting right because I because well, I'll tell
Speaker 2: you well, one real quick way route to that is
Speaker 2: I was doing at the college. I was doing these
Speaker 2: and it was great. People loved it. Right doing you
Speaker 2: know Joan, Joanes Rivers jokes, George Carlin jokes, those old jokes.
Speaker 2: And I went to an actual comedy club in West
Speaker 2: Palm Beach and I went there and I said, I
Speaker 2: want to join, you know, the contest they had And
Speaker 2: I went up there and I did that and she's like,
Speaker 2: I came off and she's like, that was a joke, right,
Speaker 2: and said what. She's like, Who's jokes are those? And
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, John Rivers, Jones Rush. She goes, oh,
Speaker 2: so you know they are and I said yeah. She's like, oh,
Speaker 2: at least you know that you can't do that. These
Speaker 2: people that are doing the countries are doing you know,
Speaker 2: they're material. And I was like, oh, I have a
Speaker 2: reasonal material. I said, I have, I can She said
Speaker 2: go if you She liked me. She's like, you were like,
Speaker 2: if you could come up with some original stuff, I
Speaker 2: would love to think about it and come back. And
Speaker 2: I didn't have a clue even to start writing a joke,
Speaker 2: not at one, except I made a joke that I
Speaker 2: looked like the Wendy's Hamburg girl or something, and that
Speaker 2: was one joke, right. It was great though. I'd put
Speaker 2: my hair in pigtails and pull up to Wendy's, Oh
Speaker 2: my god, she's here, and walk. So I had I
Speaker 2: had a neighborhood crime watch sign in our dorm that
Speaker 2: we had stolen one night.
Speaker 3: H I love that, and I just thought.
Speaker 2: I thought, I'm looking at it, and I'm laying in bed,
Speaker 2: I'm looking at I'm trying to think of jokes. And
Speaker 2: I said, well, I'll start with that. I'll walk on
Speaker 2: stage with the sign and I'll say sorry I I
Speaker 2: was later in the neighborhood and that gets a laugh.
Speaker 2: And then I said, how good is our crime watch
Speaker 2: if and not watching their signs? And it killed right.
Speaker 2: So I went down and told me that, and my
Speaker 2: Wendy's won and she's like, all right, can you do
Speaker 2: like like five more minutes of that kind of stuff?
Speaker 2: And I said sure. I also go still more signs.
Speaker 2: I literally did. I went around town. I found all
Speaker 2: these signs that I thought were funny. I see, Oh
Speaker 2: to God, one said slow children at play And they
Speaker 2: still have these signs. There's no feet. They don't have
Speaker 2: any feet. So I said, well one of the slows
Speaker 2: they're any feet and it would just kill the crowd.
Speaker 2: So I had all these sign jokes, you know, no
Speaker 2: train horn between certain hours, says this is the hours
Speaker 2: we need the horn. You can the daytime you can see,
Speaker 2: nighttime you can't. And it was just very clever and funny.
Speaker 2: And then they were like, you know you haven't eyn,
Speaker 2: I said, I think I've exhausted all the signs. I mean,
Speaker 2: there was there's another sign in Boca Ratone where my
Speaker 2: college was. It was called Butt's Road and we stole
Speaker 2: that one, and I said this, I was driving down
Speaker 2: Butts Roe where all the assholes load, and it killed
Speaker 2: you know, but it was Bocas. You know, you can't
Speaker 2: do that on any other you know, Milwaukee. They're gonna
Speaker 2: go what I mean, they'll still think it's funny because
Speaker 2: there's a road called bus Row all the assholes are.
Speaker 2: And uh so then I had all these signs and
Speaker 2: all that, and then and then I was just trying
Speaker 2: to think of another up like and that was that
Speaker 2: didn't make any of those This weren't my props. There
Speaker 2: were just visual signs and so I thought, I went
Speaker 2: to see my grandmother and we were driving and her
Speaker 2: head didn't go above the seat, right, It's just an
Speaker 2: old thing. I said, can you see when you drive
Speaker 2: for him? When she's like yeah? And I thought, there's one.
Speaker 2: So I got like a ball cap and I put
Speaker 2: a spring on it and an old lady's head so
Speaker 2: when you were their head would go above the seats
Speaker 2: like this, and I would hold like a hula hoop
Speaker 2: like the steering wheel, and you'd see it would kill.
Speaker 2: And so about was I'm under you know, I'm under
Speaker 2: my shtick I got. I got. I got the first one,
Speaker 2: the lady driving her head above the sea. And then
Speaker 2: I just started my brain just started thinking that, like,
Speaker 2: how about a cowboy with the kickstands and when you're
Speaker 2: drunk you'll fall down. How about a how about a
Speaker 2: you know, a coffee cup with a you just all
Speaker 2: started to just like because I kind of had my head,
Speaker 2: what a formula? You know what's funny about a water bot?
Speaker 2: You know what's funny about us something? But it had
Speaker 2: to be something attached to it. It couldn't just be
Speaker 2: a pun. You know, it's holding a plant up. You know,
Speaker 2: that's you know, I'm the plant here in that it
Speaker 2: have to be something with the plant, something, you know,
Speaker 2: bong with mirrors. You know.
Speaker 3: That was one of my favorites, was the bomb with
Speaker 3: the whole bunch of bong.
Speaker 2: Wounds, because I played a lot of colleges and so
Speaker 2: people were like, you know, a more bong.
Speaker 1: Joke, bomb joke skill, Well, you are the first comedian
Speaker 1: I remember seeing as a child, and it stuck with
Speaker 1: me forever that it was my favorite joke, and I
Speaker 1: still have told it a million times. The cup joke
Speaker 1: with the call waiting and the party line. I remember
Speaker 1: watching it and being like, this is genius. It's the
Speaker 1: greatest joke, and I've continued to tell it whenever somebody's like, comedians,
Speaker 1: you've seen that you love? What have you seen Carra
Speaker 1: Top's joke.
Speaker 2: With the That was my that's and that's funny. Someone
Speaker 2: had asked me, well, one day, I remember, now, if
Speaker 2: there was one prop that I could pick and put
Speaker 2: it in the Smithsonian or whatever, you know what, Yeah,
Speaker 2: this is not gonna get that. You're not gonna get
Speaker 2: this is unless Trump makes that happen. I want to
Speaker 2: be in the scene. I'll make it, will be and
Speaker 2: we'll take it. We'll get it done, We'll get the cups.
Speaker 2: But that was that was the very first prop that
Speaker 2: I was proud of myself. I mean, the other ones,
Speaker 2: all right, they're funny that you know, name tag for
Speaker 2: seven to eleven, employ long name, they're all funny. But
Speaker 2: that first one that I when I made that cup joke,
Speaker 2: I just sat there myself and I thought, holy, even like,
Speaker 2: because I always wanted your peers to let you know,
Speaker 2: I would say, even Seinfeld, even even you know, Carlanwood
Speaker 2: would find this clever and funny. Right yeah. And I
Speaker 2: was at an airport. This was the strangest thing ever. People.
Speaker 2: I'm walking through Philadelphia Airport and I'm I'm I'm just walking.
Speaker 2: I see this guy looks like George Carland. He's got
Speaker 2: like his little notebook and his glasses and his hat.
Speaker 2: I'm like by like twice, I said, oh God, that's
Speaker 2: George Carland. And I'm not that guy. I'm not going
Speaker 2: to walk up to him. And I walked by him
Speaker 2: three times and finally said, what's the what, what's the worst.
Speaker 2: He's arny, mean guy, So I just be prepared from
Speaker 2: tell him to go off right so I just said,
Speaker 2: excuse me, don't bother. I'm a comic and I just
Speaker 2: would admire and he says, guard job, and I you know,
Speaker 2: he's very young.
Speaker 3: I just was.
Speaker 2: I was like, you know me and he's like, he's
Speaker 2: you know me? How do I not not? You? Like?
Speaker 2: It was just already funny, right, And I said, I said,
Speaker 2: all right, you just made my my whole world. He says,
Speaker 2: now that you didn't listen that cup joke? Can you
Speaker 2: do swear to god? Wow? I said the cup joke
Speaker 2: and he goes, yeah, that's genius, dude. I said, oh wow,
Speaker 2: like thank you, and he's like, how did And it
Speaker 2: was so great because he's like, how did you how
Speaker 2: did you come up with that? She said, well, how
Speaker 2: did you come up with the stuff? Bit right? And
Speaker 2: he goes all right, guche But it's like I just,
Speaker 2: you know, I just thought of it, and he probably wouldn't.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have thought of anything he's done. You know,
Speaker 2: thea between baseball and football. I'm on the grid ard,
Speaker 2: what down are we?
Speaker 3: Who?
Speaker 2: Baseball? Who's up? You know? I know he came up
Speaker 2: with that. I didn't come up with them. So we
Speaker 2: had a mutual respect for each other's kind of thought process.
Speaker 2: And then he started asking me like, how do you
Speaker 2: how do you right, do you come up with the
Speaker 2: joke or proper? First? Do you see something? So it
Speaker 2: was great and then became a good friend after that week.
Speaker 2: You know, so that was surreal becoming tapes at the
Speaker 2: house when I was like eight years old, and then
Speaker 2: you're you're chatting with him, so.
Speaker 3: Well, were you? I mean, were you the first?
Speaker 4: You're like, you started kind of your own sub section
Speaker 4: of comedy by being a prop comic.
Speaker 2: Right, Well, there's been prop comics prior to me. It
Speaker 2: was just the style that I did was different. I mean,
Speaker 2: there's been a lot of people that did puns and
Speaker 2: visual props h but as a just a stand up
Speaker 2: comic with is a different style. It's in fact, South Park,
Speaker 2: they ripped on me. Everybody rips on me. You know
Speaker 2: you made it? Yeah, well, I mean they kind of.
Speaker 2: I mean, but this is a kind of an example
Speaker 2: of how. So they called me, they said, we're doing
Speaker 2: this thing. You you know, you want to be the
Speaker 2: voice for it. So I'm thinking, well, of course I
Speaker 2: want to be the voice for it, right, you know,
Speaker 2: they have I have a Gilbert godfre you do my voice?
Speaker 2: I like, you got that thing? So I said, uh,
Speaker 2: all my impressures are the same. By the way, I
Speaker 2: can't do it. I can't do so I I, uh,
Speaker 2: where are we talking about? Against South Park? I said,
Speaker 2: they call and they said you want to be the
Speaker 2: voice for it? So I said, I said absolutely please,
Speaker 2: and they sent the script and it was like, oh man,
Speaker 2: like it was just it was, well, one, they're ripping
Speaker 2: on me. That's fine. I get They're ripping on me.
Speaker 2: That's part of being you know, economic. I get that.
Speaker 2: I mean, I live in this magic castle and I'm
Speaker 2: as mirrors and this eight of me and down in
Speaker 2: the hallway and the eight caratal whatever. But he came
Speaker 2: across this prop and this thing, and I was like, God,
Speaker 2: this is can we change like I go on the phone,
Speaker 2: I mean literally, and I said, can we change the
Speaker 2: the just I don't mind the just the one prop?
Speaker 2: He said, what do you mean the prop? I said
Speaker 2: that the saw with glasses on it. And he's like, oh,
Speaker 2: that's no, it's hilarious. I said, no, it's it's not.
Speaker 2: And I'm talking to like thirty people that are brilliant
Speaker 2: and I'm like, no, it's not it's not funny. I
Speaker 2: mean to me, it's not funny because it's it's a
Speaker 2: sea saw. I said, I don't like puns. Oh look
Speaker 2: look at sea saw. So I'm like, can we do
Speaker 2: like my cup joke or do you know anything? And
Speaker 2: they were like, well, we could, but I think that's
Speaker 2: the whole joke. I said, oh, I get it because
Speaker 2: you're making fun of the fact that but I come
Speaker 2: up with this stupid and he's like, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: We've already animated it. I said, no, that means you
Speaker 2: want me to look like a fool in it, right,
Speaker 2: And then I thought, okay, what am I going to
Speaker 2: say no to South Park? So I agree to do it.
Speaker 2: Even in the when I'm reading it, I'm like, it's
Speaker 2: a sea saw. Get it. I'm like, uh, I'm going
Speaker 2: to go hang myself, right, And they were so happy
Speaker 2: that I did it, and then like every day someone
Speaker 2: walk up me, oh Sea sauce, I'm like, maybe they
Speaker 2: were right right, you know, it's like one of those
Speaker 2: things like you just wanted to show what you do
Speaker 2: is a different, a little different than an easy joke
Speaker 2: like that cup one was not a pun. It was
Speaker 2: an invention. So it's kind of like hard to anyone
Speaker 2: that doesn't care top thing will always do that upun Like, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm three sheets to the wind and you're like, Okay,
Speaker 2: that's not not what you do.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Interesting, But only certain people that know, like, Okay, now
Speaker 2: I get it. You're right, that's not what you do.
Speaker 2: But I mean, so the general person who see a
Speaker 2: prop comment, oh, you just hold up a broom and look,
Speaker 2: I'm you know, flying.
Speaker 1: I mean, but the real last laugh is a forty
Speaker 1: year career for you are still selling out shows all
Speaker 1: over the place, two hundred and forty shows a year.
Speaker 1: This year marks your twentieth anniversary of your Luxor residency,
Speaker 1: and you made the decision to commit to Vegas long
Speaker 1: before it was the popular thing to do. Absolutely what
Speaker 1: made you decide to make the move, Well, it.
Speaker 2: Was it was a long, really short and long process.
Speaker 2: I had, I had done, always been on the road
Speaker 2: and I was I did Regis and again is dating
Speaker 2: myself Regis and Catholic. Yeah, there's no Regis. He was
Speaker 2: one of the best.
Speaker 4: We all did too, by the way, Yeah, he was
Speaker 4: the best.
Speaker 2: And he never understood that I'm not I told this
Speaker 2: the other day. I would do the show and he
Speaker 2: would just he first couple of years I did it.
Speaker 2: I mean he would he would just of course laugh
Speaker 2: and be a fan. But we went to a commercial
Speaker 2: break when Tommy where we came back and I did
Speaker 2: a couple more and he says, he says to me
Speaker 2: and the god he says character, I was crazy. Heyes,
Speaker 2: where do you find all this stuff? And I said,
Speaker 2: what do you mean find?
Speaker 3: What do you know?
Speaker 2: What do you find it? And I said, well, I
Speaker 2: make it? And he was just dead serious. He was like,
Speaker 2: you make it? And I said, you know, don't find
Speaker 2: a cowboy but with a kickstand on it. You got
Speaker 2: to make like right. He says, oh, so you find
Speaker 2: you make the thing? I said, yeah, I find a
Speaker 2: cowboy boot and then I add a joke to it.
Speaker 2: I put the.
Speaker 4: Kicks in rights.
Speaker 2: You know. Yeah. He had no, he just didn't know.
Speaker 2: And then then he gave all that really respect back.
Speaker 2: The next day he's like, and he makes all that stupid.
Speaker 2: So I had done the show and I did really well.
Speaker 2: I came off and I was putting all my stuff
Speaker 2: away and this old guy came over and says, man,
Speaker 2: it was unbelievable. I've never seen anything like that. I said, oh, thanks.
Speaker 2: He says, uh, you must kill in Vegas. And I said,
Speaker 2: I've never been to Vegas. He says, come on, you've
Speaker 2: never been to Vegas. You are Vegas. And I said,
Speaker 2: I've never been to Vegas. He said, if I book
Speaker 2: you in Vegas, will you take the gig? And I
Speaker 2: said no, No, I said, I said sure, and he
Speaker 2: said they called. They called my people and they said,
Speaker 2: we got you at Bally's Casino in the little comedy
Speaker 2: club there for the weekend. And it was Kathleen Gifford's
Speaker 2: manager who thought I should be playing. And they, of
Speaker 2: course they were always big Vegas in Atlantic City and
Speaker 2: all that. So they put me this little room for
Speaker 2: Friday Saturday night. And again going back to what you're
Speaker 2: saying or about Vegas, it was like it was just
Speaker 2: it's a different crowd, right, and I'm really young and
Speaker 2: I'm used to doing you know, little you know louder.
Speaker 2: The South Club's screaming and they're wearing caratoms. It was
Speaker 2: just a different kind of all and so they said,
Speaker 2: we're going to move to the main room.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 2: The week was there Friday Saturday. And then they said
Speaker 2: we're gonna move to the main room Saturday Sunday. This
Speaker 2: is great, and they put me in this big room.
Speaker 2: Now I had more props than there were people in there,
Speaker 2: and I was just terrified. This stage is bigger than life.
Speaker 2: And so I had my little prop trunks and I said,
Speaker 2: I gotta go to the I gotta go to the
Speaker 2: Target Walmart and get like stage stuff, like I put
Speaker 2: tapestries and tables and couches and chairs and lamps, just
Speaker 2: to give it a set of something because it was
Speaker 2: so I was so naked up there and this little
Speaker 2: teeny thing. And so anyway I did, I did. It
Speaker 2: was horrible. I hated. I hated to hate it so bad.
Speaker 2: I went back on the road. I was like, oh god,
Speaker 2: you know, I out of Vegas. Thank God, I mean,
Speaker 2: thank you for giving me the opportunity, but it's not
Speaker 2: my thing. And then the MGM grand had called and
Speaker 2: said do you want to and I said no, I
Speaker 2: ride away. I said no, I don't want Vegas is
Speaker 2: not my thing. And we went there for a weekend
Speaker 2: in that room and then it was like three years
Speaker 2: later we had signed a thing and then you know,
Speaker 2: a year, and then three, and then finally we were
Speaker 2: doing We weren't doing full residencies like I'm doing here.
Speaker 2: It was in and out. It was like two weeks
Speaker 2: at a time, and then go to colleges and clubs
Speaker 2: and theaters and come back to m gym. And then
Speaker 2: finally I was starting to you know, I really liked
Speaker 2: the room. I'm like, yeah, they rede my things. I said, yeah,
Speaker 2: instead of doing eight weeks, they wanted to do twelve
Speaker 2: or fourteen weeks. I said, this is great. And then
Speaker 2: David Coppfield came in and wanted the room, and I said, well,
Speaker 2: he's going to make me disappear. Copperfield caratop and so
Speaker 2: I I went. I said to my you know people,
Speaker 2: I said, I wish I'm just starting to get the
Speaker 2: hang of this Vegas thing. I wish it was a
Speaker 2: room now. I said, it was one of the lux
Speaker 2: or we can go look at it. So we went
Speaker 2: over one night and looked at it and it was
Speaker 2: just the perfect little room. And we did a year
Speaker 2: there and then we did an hour We're twenty and
Speaker 2: it was one of the things. Now I would never
Speaker 2: change in the world. This is I don't think I
Speaker 2: know how to do anything outside Vegas.
Speaker 3: Man, that's incredble.
Speaker 2: Road shows are still fun and exciting because it's a
Speaker 2: different energy and different you know, people have waited to
Speaker 2: see you and they you know, they have their We
Speaker 2: had people last night was great, these kids and had
Speaker 2: painted their faces orange and they had orange wigs and
Speaker 2: they call the Orange Man Group. And so it's fun fanatics,
Speaker 2: you know, like parrot heads and dead heads. We have
Speaker 2: carrot heads, that's correct.
Speaker 1: Talking about your hair, you and I have something in
Speaker 1: common in the fact that you've never been combed. You
Speaker 1: it is hard to go out and not be I'm
Speaker 1: pretty recognizable as well, and so is it. Do you
Speaker 1: ever get to go anywhere and feel like you get
Speaker 1: to be any in any way? Anonymous?
Speaker 2: No, not really, but you know, you kind of you
Speaker 2: kind of munch. I don't know. There's a day where
Speaker 2: you just you're you're it's that and then you just realize, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: like I forget you probably do. I'll go into a
Speaker 2: subway to get a sandwich. I'm like, oh, I'm caring,
Speaker 2: Like oh dude, and You're.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, oh right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, I mean, you know, there's sometimes it's
Speaker 2: fine It's nice when people do, but there's been times
Speaker 2: I'm like, listen, you guys are getting way too excited
Speaker 2: for me, and I'm just care there's there's big like
Speaker 2: when you know in La they always have the papaat
Speaker 2: to outside stores and restaurants and whatnots, and every time
Speaker 2: you go there, there always there are more back then than
Speaker 2: they are now. They would just kind of camp out
Speaker 2: and I'd walk in or out and they're just you know,
Speaker 2: the hordes, and they're just like you know, and I'd
Speaker 2: always say the same thing this you you didn't wait
Speaker 2: here for me?
Speaker 3: Right here for me?
Speaker 2: I mean you are you do know that Jennifer Anderson
Speaker 2: is inside in fred Siegel. They're not here for me.
Speaker 2: There was a Jonas brother one time inside there was
Speaker 2: like thousands of people out there. I said, he's coming,
Speaker 2: he's coming out gone. I saw him in there too.
Speaker 2: Did you say anything to you? Well, you know, I know,
Speaker 2: I didn't say that you the genants bread, I did
Speaker 2: not say it.
Speaker 1: I used to live down the street from Black China
Speaker 1: and people would sit outside and then I'd walk out
Speaker 1: there and then they'd talk to me and I'd be like, guys,
Speaker 1: I know that you were just you're waiting.
Speaker 3: For her, you know, you don't need to talk to
Speaker 3: me that Scott. People like, what are you guys doing here?
Speaker 3: Like Scott Bay all right?
Speaker 2: Well. There were always weird questions too about something that,
Speaker 2: what what do you think about the you know, I
Speaker 2: don't know. I don't I'm not the you know, I
Speaker 2: don't have a one not I don't know. Never say
Speaker 2: anthing politics political wise, but just in general, like what
Speaker 2: do you think about you know, so comic they did something.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know. I didn't see it. Like
Speaker 2: Dave Chappelle's thing was a lot of contrary. What do
Speaker 2: you what's your take on that? I said, well, I
Speaker 2: haven't seen it. I don't know what. I don't know
Speaker 2: what it is. If I saw it, I could probably comment.
Speaker 2: But what do you think about? I said, I haven't
Speaker 2: seen it.
Speaker 3: I've seen it, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I can't give you anything, and I haven't seen it,
Speaker 2: right exactly. Showed it two on your phone right now,
Speaker 2: then I can comment. He said, okay. Then he showed
Speaker 2: it on his phone. I said, oh, all right, yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, what do you think she done that? I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: it's his it's his decision to do it. So what
Speaker 2: do I think about it? I think it's funny. I
Speaker 2: think what I do it probably not I mean a
Speaker 2: carrat Top doing it probab when I get away with it.
Speaker 2: Dave Spelle probably could get away with it. And they're like, oh,
Speaker 2: right on. It's like, but you got to give me
Speaker 2: the thing first. The guy was kind of shocked. Oh okay,
Speaker 2: oh you want to know what you're talking about?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: A little right, a little bit? Yeah, just you brief me.
Speaker 3: Have you ever done that with one of your props?
Speaker 4: Have you ever gone this is talking tom, but like
Speaker 4: you create something You're so far.
Speaker 2: What's going on?
Speaker 4: It's not you, it's me, it's probably you. But have
Speaker 4: you ever done that made a proper You're like, no,
Speaker 4: this is too far.
Speaker 3: I don't I don't know.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Yes, props and jokes you know, stand up, we
Speaker 2: sit back to stay like, oh man, you're not going
Speaker 2: to do that. No, I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 2: But that's pretty good. But I've written some for other
Speaker 2: people that I've given to because I'm like, it's not
Speaker 2: a carrat Top joke, you know, it's a specific joke,
Speaker 2: and and you know, once in a while, very rarely,
Speaker 2: someone will come out I got a carrat top joke.
Speaker 2: I'm like, not often. It's usually like some kind of
Speaker 2: stupid thing. It's a sea saw. Oh yeah, right, do
Speaker 2: people do bring me stuff like that. They'll bring me
Speaker 2: a whole bunch of like crap, and they'll say, one
Speaker 2: guy really did what I mean, went out of his
Speaker 2: way to I hope you're not watching, but this guy
Speaker 2: sent me a whole bunch I mean, all in a
Speaker 2: box and each note and the thing and how to
Speaker 2: just how to say it, and every one of them
Speaker 2: was that. It was like a seesaw, all right, a headache.
Speaker 2: It was like a head of the I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I was like, there's gotta be one in your good No,
Speaker 2: not even even get a premise, you know, may even
Speaker 2: get a good prop Oh I got a head. I
Speaker 2: got a good head. We got we got when we
Speaker 2: start with the head of something. But you know, it's
Speaker 2: like head count and had I had a head and
Speaker 2: a calculator. Here's a head count, like Laura. But Louis
Speaker 2: Andrews said, well, we got at least we got a free calculator.
Speaker 2: I mean, right, that alone is or something.
Speaker 1: We obviously talk a lot about the nineties on our podcast,
Speaker 1: and you are now our second guest who has appeared
Speaker 1: on Star Search. What you remember from competing on the show.
Speaker 2: I tried to drug myself up on enough not to
Speaker 2: think about it. I was so the the the first
Speaker 2: surefire winner for Stars win that doing that. When I
Speaker 2: was they asked me to be on it. It was
Speaker 2: like every comic of the world, everywhere I went, every
Speaker 2: club and they say, no, you know, why are you
Speaker 2: you just you're winning the thing? Why why were we
Speaker 2: even doing this? So I get there and everyone's like,
Speaker 2: it's car top, He's gonna win the whole thing. And
Speaker 2: I lost the very first round. I mean literally the
Speaker 2: very first round. And I and I and that was
Speaker 2: my ace stuff, you know, like all my good stuff.
Speaker 2: And it was like, yeah, I do a thing in
Speaker 2: the show. It's it's it's it really is funny because
Speaker 2: people don't know. I you know how many years ago
Speaker 2: I was on Stars and half a Crown was like,
Speaker 2: no things, you know, it's a I made it. No,
Speaker 2: it's no, it's real, it's real. And it was just
Speaker 2: it's so cute to this day and I watch it
Speaker 2: and I showed in the show and says, you know,
Speaker 2: uh you Cara Top the challenger gets two and a
Speaker 2: quarter stars, you know, and Bob Zay, who's a good
Speaker 2: friend of mine, it gets, you know, two and three
Speaker 2: quarter stars and my head. I look, I can see
Speaker 2: my head and the thing I look up like that,
Speaker 2: I wintered.
Speaker 3: Did I leave?
Speaker 2: And I always say it was a quarter more than
Speaker 2: the third but like, and it's just I'm being honest,
Speaker 2: head third and everybody laughs. I'm like Jesus, but it's true.
Speaker 2: And I say, you know, nowadays they just say you're
Speaker 2: voted off the island. I mean, I think about Stoma, right.
Speaker 2: So it was, it was. It was a fun experience.
Speaker 2: I mean, for sure of it. It was so long ago,
Speaker 2: my goodness, Ed McMahon, Yeah, stars stars.
Speaker 3: Oh man.
Speaker 1: Well, it has built a bit of a cult following
Speaker 1: over the years.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: The viral clip of Norm McDonald's kind of poking fun
Speaker 1: at Courtney thorn Smith on Conan, Uh, did stuff like
Speaker 1: that kind of like that Norm joke? Bother you did
Speaker 1: it ever get to you know?
Speaker 2: The reason that one didn't even more than any other
Speaker 2: ones is because we had already made that joke on
Speaker 2: the set. So when we were the very first day
Speaker 2: of filming, we said this chairman was sleeping over at
Speaker 2: the craft services and I said, it's called chairman of
Speaker 2: the board, not bored. Oh, so we already had that
Speaker 2: stupid joke. I thought. What was more mean was what
Speaker 2: her I'm a comic. I can take it. I mean,
Speaker 2: you know the fact that he and the more he
Speaker 2: ripped on me was like, it's funny, I'm a comic,
Speaker 2: and they couldn't believe that I was in a movie.
Speaker 2: And then I wasn't doing props in a movie, like
Speaker 2: and she was like, he can act, he's a he's
Speaker 2: you can watch it. It's I feel so bad for
Speaker 2: her because she's just defending me the whole time, just
Speaker 2: like he's a great guy, Like, oh, come on, no,
Speaker 2: he's great, and he comes to the works, he studies,
Speaker 2: he does his work, he knows his lines, and he's
Speaker 2: jerming and he's he's you know, he worked so hard
Speaker 2: and they're like, oh what you know, coma and she's
Speaker 2: I felt so bad for her, and she was just like,
Speaker 2: you know, she could have said, she could have cut
Speaker 2: it off and said, okay, apparently you guys don't like him.
Speaker 2: I liked him. What's the next question? But she just
Speaker 2: kept going and they kept going, and I just said
Speaker 2: for her. I felt bad, but I could care that.
Speaker 2: I mean, jesus, I knew norm normal, I knew each other,
Speaker 2: you know, and that was norm No, no, no, normally.
Speaker 2: I didn't like anybody that was that was his shick.
Speaker 2: I mean, he was picked on everybody, and that was
Speaker 2: what made it great. Well, you are.
Speaker 1: Often referred to as one of the nicest guys in comedy.
Speaker 2: That's nice.
Speaker 1: So my question for you is, can you tell us
Speaker 1: the meanest thing you've ever done? Oh God, what have
Speaker 1: you ever done? Anything?
Speaker 2: Mean? I mean in my career, in my career life,
Speaker 2: in my personal life. I'm a real when I'm carrots off,
Speaker 2: I'm sweet.
Speaker 1: Give us the worst thing.
Speaker 2: I don't have a lot of meaning me. I'm trying
Speaker 2: to think my system. Probably he knows his head spinning.
Speaker 1: Let me bring out the list.
Speaker 2: I don't know. But there's something that really has been
Speaker 2: just rotten that I felt horrible about, horribly about doing.
Speaker 2: I mean, I always stop for people. Even you're missing
Speaker 2: a flight. You're like, dude, I'm I got two minutes
Speaker 2: to get to my gate. No, I know, but my
Speaker 2: daughter really loves you and needs a picture. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 2: but I'm gonna miss my playing. Yeah, No, I I
Speaker 2: don't know. I I know. I mean I try to
Speaker 2: be like I don't. I put I do things to
Speaker 2: be stupid fun like, but I don't. I don't think.
Speaker 2: I try not to be mean in any way with anybody,
Speaker 2: my crew, even my crew. You know, I have the
Speaker 2: same crew for forty years. We're you know, we're a family,
Speaker 2: and it's a it's a team. You know. It's not
Speaker 2: me up there, it's everybody up there. It's the sound guy,
Speaker 2: the video guy that yeah you know, not so much
Speaker 2: the lighting guys. They're not anybody is you know. It's
Speaker 2: a team of people that put together a show over night.
Speaker 2: So it's important. It's not just you.
Speaker 1: You know, if you didn't end up being this successful
Speaker 1: of a comedian, what do you think you would have
Speaker 1: done for a living?
Speaker 2: I would have won one of the Backstreet Boys if
Speaker 2: I had. You know, I'm from Orlando. I knew them
Speaker 2: when they were literally boys, Yeah in sync. All those
Speaker 2: guys all from Orlando, I knew. I knew all of them.
Speaker 2: Brittany's and they're just little kids. I used to open
Speaker 2: up for the Mickey Mouse Club and talk about a
Speaker 2: hell gig. Not not the kids. No, we just you know,
Speaker 2: they put you in a in you know, a little studio.
Speaker 2: It's like, you know, thirty people and they're just you know,
Speaker 2: it's two in the afternoon and you're like, hey everybody,
Speaker 2: and the kids like, what with your hair? You know.
Speaker 2: I think I did it like two times and I said,
Speaker 2: this is a bomb with rearview, but this is yeah,
Speaker 2: this is yeah. I was like, this is not for me.
Speaker 2: I'm like no, but it's a great platform for suicide. Yes,
Speaker 2: it was a great music. Do you listen to soft jazz? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I listened to. I like rock and roll, I like
Speaker 2: country music. Yeah, you like soft jazz? Yeah. I'm pretty musical.
Speaker 2: I love music of any types, almost all types. I
Speaker 2: can't not hear anything. I bat my foot to it.
Speaker 2: It's good. I don't I don't really have it. But
Speaker 2: I mean, if I had to pick, you know, after
Speaker 2: the show up on country or rock and roll, probably,
Speaker 2: but then I like listen to you know, Neil Diamond
Speaker 2: or Berry Man. I mean, I get in the carpenters
Speaker 2: of the movie like, what are you listening to the carpenters? Like,
Speaker 2: can you put us to sleep? Morning after the show?
Speaker 2: With the carpenters, I'm like, it's great music.
Speaker 3: It's great music. She's one of the greatest drummers ever.
Speaker 3: Be right, yea, truly. So what is the best act
Speaker 3: you've ever.
Speaker 2: Seen in Vegas? Wow? Well, I don't again one thing
Speaker 2: about that. I don't get a chance to go out
Speaker 2: a lot because I'm doing a show. So now I
Speaker 2: get done with the show, the shows are all over,
Speaker 2: and then on Sunday, no one normally has a show,
Speaker 2: So I don't get a lot of a lot of
Speaker 2: opportunity to see. But I've seen some, you know, I've
Speaker 2: seen the all the circu shows that unbelievable. We saw
Speaker 2: Elton's Rodgerster and one of them, I'll tell you, the
Speaker 2: Rod Stewart was pretty fascinating to me because it's Rod
Speaker 2: Stewart and he you know, he's he has this thing too.
Speaker 2: He's kind of, you know, not a nice guy, but
Speaker 2: he's that's at least you hear sometimes there. And I
Speaker 2: have a guy in l A that drives him around.
Speaker 2: He's he doesn't he has nice stories to tell about
Speaker 2: him watching the show at Caesars, and it's like, is
Speaker 2: it little Caesars? And uh, and he sold it out.
Speaker 2: It's a little Caesar. I can sell. I can sell
Speaker 2: a little Caesars. See that's how they get you. They
Speaker 2: don't tell you the fine print, Caesars, little Caesar fine print.
Speaker 2: So so uh, he's up there doing it, you know,
Speaker 2: you know, lay everything. He's just doing all of his
Speaker 2: hits and he just he's start. Everyone's got cameras out, everybody,
Speaker 2: the whole you know, it's our dead area. And he says,
Speaker 2: and people the security is trying to get them to
Speaker 2: stop filming, and there's you know, three thousand people. You
Speaker 2: can't stop. When he comes on the mic, he says hey,
Speaker 2: he says, hey, mate, you know, if they want to,
Speaker 2: if you want to film the show, film the show man,
Speaker 2: do whatever you want here. You film me dance. You
Speaker 2: want to come up here and dance and sing with me,
Speaker 2: come on, dance and sing with me. I'm watching and
Speaker 2: I'm thinking, Wow, he didn't just say that, like he
Speaker 2: said that to be a joke. Jeff, were you with me?
Speaker 2: Two thirds and two thirds a third of the crowd
Speaker 2: went on stage, amazing and he sang and danced with him.
Speaker 2: Geez has arms around him singing. This song was over.
Speaker 2: He goes, all right, now you you go go sit
Speaker 2: down there. They all came up and it was just
Speaker 2: in kind of a cool moment because it always like
Speaker 2: no and get back and secure. He was like, come
Speaker 2: on mate, and they just came. Yeah. It was pretty
Speaker 2: pretty amazing.
Speaker 1: Man, that's really cool.
Speaker 2: That was a cold, cool moment. You know, the big
Speaker 2: ones Elton John Shni twenties have all been Schneike Twain.
Speaker 2: We actually came. She came to my show. It was
Speaker 2: kind of funny because she's like, don't announce her. She
Speaker 2: doesn't want to be announced. And I said, okay, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't want to undo that to anybody. And I
Speaker 2: do the same way. I go out and give shots
Speaker 2: a booze into the audience and I go out and
Speaker 2: she's the first one standing there trying to get a shot.
Speaker 2: I said, how great is that? Right?
Speaker 1: Finally looking back, Yes, if you could go back in
Speaker 1: time and talk to young Carrot Top on his first
Speaker 1: night in Vegas. Let's say your first night at the
Speaker 1: lux Or twenty years ago, not your first night in Vegas,
Speaker 1: but your first night at the lux Or twenty years ago.
Speaker 1: What would you tell him, if you could give him
Speaker 1: a piece of advice, what would you tell him?
Speaker 2: Do it all different? Seriously, run away, I think about you,
Speaker 2: run away, think about it, think about this. Well, at
Speaker 2: that point I had already been kind of getting into
Speaker 2: I don't know, I committed to the lux Or pretty
Speaker 2: and I and I was really not. The president of
Speaker 2: the hotel had called me a little I was boarding
Speaker 2: a plane and he said, never met him. He said,
Speaker 2: scutie and I said yeah. I said hell. He says,
Speaker 2: you know, I'm offering. I want to offer you the
Speaker 2: headline gig at the lux Or. And I was like oh,
Speaker 2: I said oh wow. I said, well, I'm getting on
Speaker 2: a plane. I'll call you back when I land. He's like, no,
Speaker 2: you don't, you don't. You don't get on a plane.
Speaker 2: I'm asking you want to be the headline of the Luxor.
Speaker 2: You don't. You pretty much answered that like right away,
Speaker 2: you don't like And I said, well, I got to
Speaker 2: think about it. And I remember, like the longest flight,
Speaker 2: I'm thinking, oh, I might not have done the right
Speaker 2: thing by saying no. I didn't say no. I just
Speaker 2: said I don't know if I don't know yet. And
Speaker 2: then I landed and I said, you know, I'm really
Speaker 2: kind of apprehensive about being a full time I just,
Speaker 2: you know, I don't want to do it. And he
Speaker 2: was like, you got to do it. I mean, dude,
Speaker 2: you're the only guy that there's no other person at
Speaker 2: the lux or is you. And I said again, now
Speaker 2: I'm more stressed out, like I don't I don't want
Speaker 2: to be the face of the property. But then finally
Speaker 2: I caved in. I said, all right, we'll do We'll
Speaker 2: do you know, a year, and we did a year,
Speaker 2: and then then there was like do another year in
Speaker 2: this sit out, another year and three more, I'll do three.
Speaker 2: It was a five years, then five and now it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I hope they give me to the five. So yeah,
Speaker 2: it was it was a hard decision to make them
Speaker 2: believe it or not because I was just used to
Speaker 2: being out on the road and doing a different thing
Speaker 2: than Vegas. So I was kind of scared to take it,
Speaker 2: but also excited to take it. I think the first
Speaker 2: show ever, though, that's a different story. You know, that
Speaker 2: first time on stage kind of thing. That's the craziest
Speaker 2: one because everyone has probably done. You know when you
Speaker 2: say I'm actually gonna go up and be it, like
Speaker 2: try to be a comedian. Yeah, terrifying, like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: what am I doing. And there's a show called kill
Speaker 2: Tony that I just did in a big popular show.
Speaker 2: And the concept that show is they have these young
Speaker 2: comics come out and you sit there and you kind
Speaker 2: of you know, they would prefer you to more like
Speaker 2: rip them and kind of because it's and I said
Speaker 2: to the same thing. I said, you know, I got
Speaker 2: to turn the thing down. I don't. I don't. I'm
Speaker 2: not the mean guy. I'm not the critic. I'm not
Speaker 2: the guy out there going you know, you suck you
Speaker 2: because I'm Caratop. I'm the one that's been They're coming
Speaker 2: from me. So I said, you know, I'll do it,
Speaker 2: but I'm gonna I'm gonna be nice, and they said, no,
Speaker 2: you don't have to be you don't have to be mean,
Speaker 2: just be you. So it was it was like the
Speaker 2: comics will come out there right and there they're literally
Speaker 2: you know it's that it's you, like so so I
Speaker 2: I just started at you know, and you're like watching
Speaker 2: him and they get done, and you know, you know,
Speaker 2: they come over and you know, Tony will say something
Speaker 2: like you know, and I would instead of making fun
Speaker 2: of my say is is that thing battery operator? Just
Speaker 2: to make funny? He say no, No, I said no,
Speaker 2: I'm kidding, you know. But it was great. You did,
Speaker 2: you know, great. But it's fun watching that, you know,
Speaker 2: because this day going back to me having to do that. Lord.
Speaker 2: So it's like you know in comics say you know,
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about being a comic. I go, we'll do it,
Speaker 2: but you know.
Speaker 1: Think about it, have a plan, b maybe think about it. Well,
Speaker 1: we have been so honored that you agreed to come
Speaker 1: on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for here with us. A lot
Speaker 2: of fun.
Speaker 1: Thank you for taking the time to talk with us.
Speaker 2: No appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Have been such an admirer of yours, truly for so
Speaker 1: many years, So thank you so much.
Speaker 2: You appreciate that. All you guys, thank you. Thank you
Speaker 2: and your whole staff here very nice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everybody's everybody here is the best. We surround ourselves
Speaker 1: with good people like you do.
Speaker 2: They're a listening crowd.
Speaker 1: Thank you all for joining us for this episode of
Speaker 1: Pod Meets World. As always, you can follow us on Instagram,
Speaker 1: Pod Meets World Show. You can send us your emails
Speaker 1: pod Meets World Show at gmail dot com and we've
Speaker 1: got merch who gave you five dollars pod meets Worldshow
Speaker 1: dot com. We'll send us out.
Speaker 3: We love you all. Pod dismissed.
Speaker 4: Pod Meets World is Notheart podcast hosted by Danielle Fischel,
Speaker 4: Wilfredell and Ryder Strong executive producers, Jensen Carp and Amy Sugarman,
Speaker 4: Executive in charge of production, Danielle Romo, producer and editor,
Speaker 4: Tara sudbachsch producer, Maddie Moore, engineer and Boy Meets World
Speaker 4: super fan Easton Allen. Our theme song is by Kyle
Speaker 4: Morton of Typhoon and you can follow us on Instagram
Speaker 4: at Podmeats World Show or email us at Podmets Worldshow
Speaker 4: at gmail dot com