Speaker 1: Hi, guys, Welcome to another episode of Diamonds in the Rough.
Speaker 1: Hi Erica, Hey Seddy, how you doing?
Speaker 2: You know, really good? But I'll be honest, it's is.
Speaker 3: I have on glasses, not because I'm trying to be cool,
Speaker 3: but because my eyes are swollen just from allergies.
Speaker 2: So that's what's going on.
Speaker 1: Well, my eyes are swollen from crying. So you're one
Speaker 1: up on me.
Speaker 2: What are you crying about?
Speaker 3: Him?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just I feel like, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm sure you know this too, but like when you're
Speaker 1: going through divorce or there's grief or whatever, like some
Speaker 1: weeks you really feel like on top of the world,
Speaker 1: and some weeks you're just so freaking low.
Speaker 3: Yes, and that's going to be that way for a while.
Speaker 3: And I think the most important things I learned in
Speaker 3: therapy was that grief, let's just call it that, is
Speaker 3: not linear.
Speaker 2: Because I kept asking when is this over? When is
Speaker 2: this over? And the answer is it's not.
Speaker 3: And it also comes in ways, so you will feel
Speaker 3: confident and then you'll feel very unsure and and so
Speaker 3: that's kind of the process. And I remember having to
Speaker 3: accept that and I did not like it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't like it because I mean, I think
Speaker 1: we're similar in the way that we like to be
Speaker 1: able to control our surroundings or our feelings or and
Speaker 1: when you're feeling a little out of control, it feels scary,
Speaker 1: Like for me, you know, I did I'm sure you've
Speaker 1: probably done their podcast before, but I did the Skinny
Speaker 1: Confidential where they kind of like dug into like the
Speaker 1: highs and lows of my life, and they are amazing,
Speaker 1: Like they it's not a podcast where you feel like
Speaker 1: you're about to get trapped into saying something you regret.
Speaker 1: But like you know, I'm the type where once I
Speaker 1: do something thing that I kind of block out that
Speaker 1: I've done it, apparently as a big podcast because like
Speaker 1: everyone and their mother sending messages their opinions, and it
Speaker 1: just kind of like, you know, I know that we
Speaker 1: say we don't give any fucks, but sometimes it's hard.
Speaker 2: Well, look, you do give fucks. That's the thing.
Speaker 3: There are times when you care, are times when you don't,
Speaker 3: times that you feel strong, times that you feel vulnerable.
Speaker 3: And I think anybody listening or watching this knows that, look,
Speaker 3: we you and I have made a conscious choice as
Speaker 3: adults to put our lives out there that having been
Speaker 3: set as brave and as fearless as we think we are,
Speaker 3: sometimes we are and that's just part of being human.
Speaker 3: You're going through a tough time. You and I are
Speaker 3: here having this conversation, and it's okay to be human,
Speaker 3: you know, and that goes for anybody that's listening or watching.
Speaker 2: It's just some days you feel good, some days you don't.
Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, and so that's kind of but you
Speaker 1: should be feeling good of the fact that you run
Speaker 1: on ROXY.
Speaker 2: And I got extended.
Speaker 1: So when are you extended to?
Speaker 2: It's just two extra weeks, so that's.
Speaker 1: A lot, though. That's amazing.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: This show schedule, it's great. It's great to be on stage.
Speaker 2: I was thinking, you know, we have.
Speaker 3: A five show weekend, so you have one on Friday
Speaker 3: to it on Saturday, two on Sunday. So hence why
Speaker 3: my eyes are small enough. And then after this I'm
Speaker 3: going to go to the theater and do it all again.
Speaker 3: So but you know, it's really great to be asked back.
Speaker 3: Feels good. Anytime I can be on stage, I'm always happy.
Speaker 3: And so look, I think everybody you should cut everybody
Speaker 3: a break when you're going through the toughest time of
Speaker 3: your life on one of these shows. And it's super
Speaker 3: easy to stand in judgment and say, well I this
Speaker 3: and I would have done that, But you don't know
Speaker 3: until you've gone through it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know what, you not only are you
Speaker 1: the voice of reason on this pod, you're the voice
Speaker 1: of reason this season, which everybody's been like and I
Speaker 1: know we're not going to talk about Beverly Hills, but
Speaker 1: you have been a voice of reason and a really
Speaker 1: good friend. And I think that goes to show like,
Speaker 1: no matter what the highs and lows that everybody's kind
Speaker 1: of gone through in this world of reality television, like
Speaker 1: you're a good friend and you're a good teachment and
Speaker 1: that's that's that goes for a lot.
Speaker 2: Well, look, it's just not that deep. These shows are
Speaker 2: not that deep.
Speaker 3: I mean I think that you know, people expect, you know,
Speaker 3: what are the limits on reality TV?
Speaker 2: Like should you show your entire life? The answer is
Speaker 2: you can't.
Speaker 3: No one shows their entire person to anyone their entire lifetime.
Speaker 3: I mean, we talk about it on this pod frequently
Speaker 3: that people are consistently revealing themselves no matter how many
Speaker 3: years we've known, so for people to look at entertainment,
Speaker 3: which is what these shows are, even what this podcast is,
Speaker 3: and to think that someone's one hundred percent going to
Speaker 3: reveal their you know, full human selves is unrealistic.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and a forty five minute edited down version of
Speaker 1: whatever was filmed.
Speaker 3: Again, it's entertainment. You know, you're watching a show, you're
Speaker 3: listening to a podcast.
Speaker 1: And because we did recap Orange County together, that is
Speaker 1: not you know, what Diamonds and the Rough is about.
Speaker 1: But this has been a big headline because it's a
Speaker 1: big headline. Okay, so Gretchen Rossi got asked back as
Speaker 1: a friend. I think it was kind of one of
Speaker 1: those things that none of the women knew was going
Speaker 1: to happen until right when it happened. I think last
Speaker 1: year we saw that Alexis Bellino was brought on as
Speaker 1: a friend, and clearly she was brought on and it
Speaker 1: was for a takedown. And also, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: be the world's best of explaining it because I haven't
Speaker 1: watched these episodes yet that Gretchen came on, because I
Speaker 1: do a recap with Tamera of past episodes and we
Speaker 1: only have gotten through season three, so I don't know exactly,
Speaker 1: but I do know that season four was the first
Speaker 1: season that Gretchen Rossi came on. But it was first
Speaker 1: season that Real Housewives of Orange County really became a
Speaker 1: real housewives show, like it was on, like it no
Speaker 1: longer was like everybody's lives filmed separately. It came on
Speaker 1: and it was dramatic, and they had this big fight
Speaker 1: in bass Lake. And I think when Gretchen left may
Speaker 1: have been the season that Gretchen came after Tamra and
Speaker 1: said that Eddie was gay.
Speaker 3: Oh and this poor man consistently being called gay.
Speaker 1: And also it's I mean, I'm gonna.
Speaker 3: Tell I'm going to give a good like here's a
Speaker 3: little tip. Don't be doing that this year. It ain't
Speaker 3: gonna fly in.
Speaker 2: Twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not Gonna'm.
Speaker 2: Tired, and we need to move on as a culture, you.
Speaker 1: Know, and if we're still talking about it this many
Speaker 1: seasons later, clearly we need something else. But the gist
Speaker 1: is Gretchen came on her first season with an older husband,
Speaker 1: but now she is with Slade Smiley, who was also
Speaker 1: on the first season of Real Housewives of Orange County
Speaker 1: with this girl named Joe and he was, you know,
Speaker 1: one of those douche lords, like with the hummer and
Speaker 1: the you know, it's all a thing, but also you
Speaker 1: could zip on your just my child.
Speaker 3: Before we waste too much time on these people. We
Speaker 3: need to waste time on ourselves in our hinge profiles.
Speaker 4: But oh yeah, so any.
Speaker 1: Who, everyone's saying that Gretchen coming on is so that
Speaker 1: it can be a big fight with Tamera because of
Speaker 1: what happened in the past, which leads me to the
Speaker 1: next question. Renna, who I already tease to her face
Speaker 1: so I can say it in the pod. Renna, who
Speaker 1: doesn't do podcasts, did a pod where she talked about
Speaker 1: that she thinks they are going to bring back Lisa
Speaker 1: vander Pump to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Speaker 2: I say, no, that's just my opinion, I say now.
Speaker 1: But then in the same breath, I think Renna said
Speaker 1: something along the lines of like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be sixty five years old.
Speaker 2: I don't listen Lisa.
Speaker 3: I was just looking at Lisa, who had an amazing
Speaker 3: week in Paris fortu and that's how I choose to
Speaker 3: love my Lisa. And I don't think I disagree. I
Speaker 3: don't think LVP comes back. I think if she did,
Speaker 3: it would be kind of interesting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then I think that, you know, hey, who cares.
Speaker 3: You know, nobody wants to be sixty on Housewife show.
Speaker 3: She's not wrong, yeah, but some are.
Speaker 1: So there you go, there we go, and every everybody
Speaker 1: is getting more mature by the day. So whether it's
Speaker 1: her somebody else, somebody is bound to turn sixty sooner
Speaker 1: or later. Uh. But yeah. And then in the world
Speaker 1: of Hinge, I gotta tell you, I may have been
Speaker 1: all pumped on Hinge at first. It's taking a turn.
Speaker 1: Are you still into Hinge?
Speaker 2: I haven't even gotten on.
Speaker 1: You haven't gotten on yet.
Speaker 3: Because I can't pick the six pictures that are relatable.
Speaker 3: I don't have relatable pictures city, and I'm not very relatable.
Speaker 3: I have discussed this with my Chicago friends at the
Speaker 3: theater and I was like, guys, like, look like you know,
Speaker 3: I mean, it was a grief And then I went
Speaker 3: to some of my male friends and I said, what
Speaker 3: am I going to put up here? And then lie
Speaker 3: a poor things. She's worn out and she's over me,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 2: And so I just haven't picked six pictures. Tell me
Speaker 2: about your downturn with the hinge.
Speaker 1: Well, it's not really the downturn. It's like I'm not
Speaker 1: really interested on going on a bunch of first dates, right.
Speaker 1: That is exactly like I barely get to see like
Speaker 1: my friends that I love and miss because I don't
Speaker 1: like doing things at night. So, I mean, I did
Speaker 1: go out with the one person and it was fine,
Speaker 1: but it was definitely not something I needed to do again,
Speaker 1: you know, like I was seeing.
Speaker 2: That you guys, hold on.
Speaker 3: I just want to make this clear, meaning that you
Speaker 3: don't find him interesting or it's just that you don't
Speaker 3: find the process interesting.
Speaker 1: Well, I I mean it wasn't that I didn't find
Speaker 1: him interesting. It was more like going on a first
Speaker 1: date with somebody, it takes a lot. It's like it's
Speaker 1: like doing a podcast with zero prep.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, I this is why I think,
Speaker 3: if I'm going to speculate why I'd not put myself
Speaker 3: on online dating, it's because Number one, I think it
Speaker 3: requires a lot of energy to focus in like really
Speaker 3: like be present.
Speaker 2: Right for the date. And I think, I mean, it's
Speaker 2: this person an interesting person or not.
Speaker 1: Leading up to the date, it was pretty good because
Speaker 1: it's like phone calls and you're like having those like
Speaker 1: that's all kind of fun. And it's like you're having
Speaker 1: the phone calls when you probably wouldn't be doing anything else,
Speaker 1: and it feels fills like a little bit of a void.
Speaker 1: But then the like getting dressed up and going to
Speaker 1: meet for like a six pm dinner.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, let's talk about at the dinner. If
Speaker 2: you don't, I ask you.
Speaker 1: I mean we talked about life and we both you know,
Speaker 1: I'm in the middle of divorce. He's divorced. Like we
Speaker 1: talked about all kinds of things. But right after the date,
Speaker 1: there was no there was no nothing, you know, it
Speaker 1: was ghost see whatever whatever. But then he sent a
Speaker 1: text like what's your schedule like next week, let's plan something,
Speaker 1: and like what days do you have the kids? Blah
Speaker 1: blah blah, And I just said, I have to be
Speaker 1: honest with you. I don't think that's gonna be a
Speaker 1: second date, OK, Like, not because I didn't enjoy the
Speaker 1: human just because like I don't know I need like
Speaker 1: more than I I can't. Also, like I'm such like
Speaker 1: a chemistry person that like I I don't know, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to create it, and like.
Speaker 3: Let me ask you this, if you say chemistry, what
Speaker 3: was it about you and Edwin?
Speaker 2: What was the chemistry?
Speaker 1: Well, we definitely didn't meet on a date.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I think that's a lot. There's a
Speaker 3: lot of like like presumptions when you meet on a date.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you meet and you're like, what's your favorite food?
Speaker 2: Deed?
Speaker 1: All right? I like sushi, me too, you know, like
Speaker 1: all of that lead up, Like I met Edwin at
Speaker 1: a club. Yeah, like I met my first husband because
Speaker 1: he was friends with one of my friends, you know,
Speaker 1: like it just was more organic.
Speaker 3: I waited on Tom for an entire year before we
Speaker 3: ever went to dinner, so I actually slowly got to
Speaker 3: know him and just had small talk with him for
Speaker 3: a year before we ever went to a sit down dinner.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So that's where it's like I've kind of
Speaker 1: taken a pause, like I haven't even opened it and
Speaker 1: so long, Like I tagged you in something, because if
Speaker 1: you don't respond for so long, then hensends you like
Speaker 1: a little thing like hey, we can't send you any
Speaker 1: more matches until you start responding to the ones.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, I also feel as if
Speaker 3: I would need to go out with someone someone has
Speaker 3: to know this person somehow, some way. That's what He's
Speaker 3: kind of sort of been around in our orbit somewhere.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that guy.
Speaker 3: I know him, you know, through whatever, or I've seen
Speaker 3: him at blah blah blah's house.
Speaker 1: Well, and I think that's the thing why I felt
Speaker 1: comfortable to go with the last person, because remember we
Speaker 1: had known each other twenty years ago. There was already
Speaker 1: like an original connection. I'm supposed to go out with
Speaker 1: somebody else again this week, and I know that it's
Speaker 1: probably going to have to get canceled because I've been
Speaker 1: thinking about how I'm going to cancel for about four days.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's definitely not a good thing.
Speaker 1: And he's totally cute, has a good job, occasionally desirable,
Speaker 1: Like there's no.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm sure it's nothing personal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm like, is that really what I mean?
Speaker 1: I have to And then I'm such a lunatic that
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, I'm working the super Bowl, so
Speaker 1: I need to pas.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I have what are you're doing? Maybe we
Speaker 2: can hook up with an athlete down there.
Speaker 1: I'm going to the super Bowl for the podcast. We
Speaker 1: have like some branding things, and I am so jealous,
Speaker 1: I know, But what am I supposed to wear? I'm
Speaker 1: not actually, I don't know that I'm going to the game.
Speaker 3: But okay, so well, first of all, I think your
Speaker 3: location as to where you're doing the power says a
Speaker 3: lot about what you're wearing. I think you need to
Speaker 3: look well, your bod's rocking, so I think you need
Speaker 3: look sporty and hot.
Speaker 2: You know what, fuck you?
Speaker 3: I am jealous because I ain't catching them over here
Speaker 3: on Broadway.
Speaker 1: Well, one, what team am I going for?
Speaker 2: Neither? You're going for the one that hires you the most.
Speaker 1: Okay, but what color do I wear?
Speaker 2: Like you?
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay, it's the Chiefs and the Eagles.
Speaker 2: Yes, so it's red or like not teal but blue green?
Speaker 1: Right? Yeah, so I mean I have green on right now,
Speaker 1: but I'm not sure that's like my luke going forward.
Speaker 1: There's also multiple nights. There's like GLAMs, There's I mean,
Speaker 1: there's lots going into this. I don't have time for
Speaker 1: a hinge date. You're taking glam glam is meeting there.
Speaker 1: They have glam already, so I won't be looking like
Speaker 1: this at this level.
Speaker 2: I'll be honest with you, you can't be looking.
Speaker 3: You have to look like you're you're you have to
Speaker 3: look like a star, that's what you're doing.
Speaker 1: Does that mean I have to put nails on? I
Speaker 1: can't go in with bloody cuticles and.
Speaker 2: Chaut nails America?
Speaker 1: Now, how am I going to get all these things done?
Speaker 1: When I supposedly have as a hinge date on Wednesday?
Speaker 2: The hinge man, we're going to the super Bowl.
Speaker 1: But the other crazy thing is I asked the hinge guy. Well,
Speaker 1: he had already kind of made me laugh. He's like
Speaker 1: on the thing. He's like, uh, I just here's my Instagram,
Speaker 1: so you don't think that I'm an eighty five year
Speaker 1: old catfish. Blah blah blah. So we started instagramming back
Speaker 1: and forth and he's like, I don't really instagram. Can
Speaker 1: we switch to phones? And I'm like sure, this is
Speaker 1: my number? He texts, and I'm like, before we continue texting,
Speaker 1: can you send me a voice note like I because
Speaker 1: to me, somebody's voice granted this is rich coming from
Speaker 1: me because my voice is not pleasing. Uh that I
Speaker 1: needed to hear his before even saying yes.
Speaker 2: That's okay.
Speaker 3: Would you be the same like doing voices and the
Speaker 3: most annoyingly recognizable voices on the planet. The answer is, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'd like to hear your tone. Yeah, that's not an
Speaker 3: unreasonable request.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But then his tone like he didn't say anything quippy
Speaker 1: or funnier. It was just like, hey, it's me blah.
Speaker 2: But a lot of people aren't used to sending shit
Speaker 2: like that. Yeah, I mean like, I mean, you know,
Speaker 2: cut the guy some slat.
Speaker 1: Well, he's going to be cut at least a week
Speaker 1: slack because I got a plan for the super Bowl.
Speaker 3: And you need to get your looks down because now
Speaker 3: you have to go full on Tedday. I'm telling you
Speaker 3: this is a target rich environment. You need to go
Speaker 3: down there.
Speaker 1: If I if you see me looking like hell at
Speaker 1: the super Bowl parties, you're going to be on me
Speaker 1: next week.
Speaker 3: I am because this is a great opportunity not only
Speaker 3: for you, but for your brand and personally.
Speaker 2: You can have some fun down there.
Speaker 1: Well do you think that I'm going to be met
Speaker 1: with like a baller or like a sports agent? Like,
Speaker 1: where do you really put me? I need to know
Speaker 1: what I'm going and looking for?
Speaker 2: Well, no, I know what.
Speaker 3: Look, I guess my question is what do you intend?
Speaker 3: What do you want I mean, do you want Jerry
Speaker 3: Maguire or do you want Patrick Mahomes.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I don't.
Speaker 1: Know Jerry Maguire, really, I think so, I don't think
Speaker 1: i'd be good like I'm kind of a jealous person
Speaker 1: in general. I don't think i'd be good with like
Speaker 1: the constant travel.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, wait a second, I thought you mentioned for
Speaker 3: a brief moment.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I mean it may be for just a
Speaker 1: brief moment, but like and then I'm still gonna go.
Speaker 2: Let me take my lands on I'm looking.
Speaker 1: At Oh you thought I met a super Bowl one
Speaker 1: night stand that, Yeah, then it's gonna then I would
Speaker 1: have to like get in a fight with Taylor Swift,
Speaker 1: because would be Travis Kelsey. It's not gonna be Patrick
Speaker 1: Mahomes though he's with child.
Speaker 3: I meant as an archetype, not as a person. Everybody
Speaker 3: calmed down. I meant like as an archetype, like you know,
Speaker 3: not as like the literal person.
Speaker 1: Well, speaking of Kevin Costner's ex wife, who Kevin Costner
Speaker 1: is at all the majority of the horse shows, by
Speaker 1: the way, this week at the horse show, Kevin Kevin
Speaker 1: Costner was there and so was Mark Wahlberg.
Speaker 2: So is it their daughters ride?
Speaker 1: I don't know who Kevin Kevin Costner's daughter must ride.
Speaker 1: I know it's Mark Wahlberg's daughter that rides because she's
Speaker 1: friends with Slate. But either way, I mean Mark Wahlberg's
Speaker 1: happily married Kevin Costner's ex wife, Christine Bambgartner. This is
Speaker 1: on one of our headlin. I didn't know this on
Speaker 1: my own, just from seeing it the horse show is
Speaker 1: now engaged to Josh Connor. This is a big article
Speaker 1: because it's it's only a year after Kevin and Christine
Speaker 1: finalize their divorce. Bomb Gartner is making things official with
Speaker 1: her new boyfriend. They're entering a new chapter together. All
Speaker 1: I know is that I think Christine is rich honey,
Speaker 1: as Rehna would say. But she said it was about
Speaker 1: to rain, so no one else was on the beach
Speaker 1: when Josh got down on one knee. I don't want
Speaker 1: to be proposed to in the rain. I'm here to
Speaker 1: tell you.
Speaker 2: I don't know that I want to go from one
Speaker 2: marriage to another.
Speaker 1: I don't know that answer for myself at this point.
Speaker 2: I mean, clearly I haven't.
Speaker 1: But could you? But aren't you still married. You can't
Speaker 1: unless you want to be a big a mist.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm still married, but.
Speaker 1: It's not that range right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm not even like it's just I just
Speaker 3: don't think that at where I'm at in my life
Speaker 3: on a personal note, that I would even consider that.
Speaker 1: Well. The couple have been going together strong for over
Speaker 1: a year. They spent Christmas in New York together last month,
Speaker 1: where it all began. The news comes eleven months after
Speaker 1: Christine fifty finalized her divorce to Kevin, following a tense
Speaker 1: legal battle. Christine, who shares kids Caden seventeen, Hayes fifteen,
Speaker 1: and Grace fourteen with I Love that Kevin Costner is
Speaker 1: now considered the Yellowstone Alum, filed to in their eighteen
Speaker 1: year marriage and May twenty twenty three, citing reconcilable differences.
Speaker 1: Months later, the split came before contentious as they disagreed
Speaker 1: over child support. Then, at this time, Christine denied she
Speaker 1: was in relationship with Jos who she went on vacation
Speaker 1: with in Hawaii earlier that summer. I mean, all in all,
Speaker 1: this is gonna be a little bit of a sitch,
Speaker 1: but I also need to know is Kevin Costner dating
Speaker 1: Jennifer Lopez, is he? I mean they've been pictured together
Speaker 1: at more than one location in Aspen. And would you
Speaker 1: date Kevin Costner or have a Super Bowl rendezvous?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I would.
Speaker 3: I've always thought Kevin Costner was handsome. I always thought
Speaker 3: he was a good actor. You know, he's a lock
Speaker 3: in Yata guy.
Speaker 1: Always from Loachaanyata flint Ridge.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know if he's from there, but I
Speaker 3: know he used to live there, and I think he's.
Speaker 2: An sc guy.
Speaker 1: But do you think this is too fast to move on?
Speaker 1: I'm I'm you know, I'm not asking for personal reasons, clearly.
Speaker 2: I just ask for who him or her?
Speaker 1: For her because now she I mean, it took them
Speaker 1: eleven months to get divorced and now we're engaged.
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess everybody has to do what's right
Speaker 2: for them.
Speaker 3: It's not something I don't think I would do, because
Speaker 3: I would worry that I was going.
Speaker 2: From frying pants fire.
Speaker 3: Not in a bad way, but just like emotionally, if
Speaker 3: I'm going to disconnect from the marriage that I you know,
Speaker 3: was in for almost twenty years, I might need some space.
Speaker 2: Maybe she felt like she had enough space, but for
Speaker 2: me personally, I probably would have not done.
Speaker 1: That, especially because we've got we've got kids here, which
Speaker 1: leads me to another big question that we've.
Speaker 2: Had in the are older though than like right.
Speaker 1: They're older than mine, but they're still teenagers. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: at what point do you think is okay? Like do
Speaker 1: you remember the first time you met Tom's kids?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: How long had you been with him?
Speaker 2: Oh? Well a while? But I mean Tom's children were
Speaker 2: my age.
Speaker 3: I'm the I'm the age of his youngest child, right,
Speaker 3: so there wasn't really anything to say other than hi.
Speaker 1: However, you weren't like dropping her off at her first
Speaker 1: day at kindergarten.
Speaker 3: No, no, No, he had three children, and you know
Speaker 3: they had they we were all grown ups, all of us.
Speaker 3: We were all grown I had been before had a
Speaker 3: six year old at that time, so there was no
Speaker 3: you know, everybody was an adult.
Speaker 2: It was a different situation.
Speaker 3: And let's say that you're a better student to talk
Speaker 3: about this because you have a stepchild.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but they weren't married, so it's a little bit different.
Speaker 1: Like probably in hindsight, I met Bella too soon, Like
Speaker 1: if I were like, I'm very good friends with Edwin's
Speaker 1: ex at this point in time. However, going back to
Speaker 1: where we were when I met Edwin, he had just
Speaker 1: broken up. Him and Christina had just broken up, and
Speaker 1: Bella was six weeks old and I met her shortly thereafter.
Speaker 2: So you've always been in her life.
Speaker 1: I've always been in her life. But I think it
Speaker 1: made things harder for me and Bella's mom to have
Speaker 1: that connection because immediately, like Edwin and I jumped into
Speaker 1: like an Instagram relationship. By instat I mean like immediate
Speaker 1: not Instagram. Yeah, free Instagram, But you know, I can't
Speaker 1: imagine what it would be.
Speaker 2: First off, I can see how Christina would not be
Speaker 2: happy with that at all.
Speaker 3: But number two, now that you're single, at what point
Speaker 3: would you let a man meet your children?
Speaker 1: Well, I was actually talking about this with Edwin the
Speaker 1: other day because he's he's different than me in the
Speaker 1: way that like he likes now that we're not together,
Speaker 1: he's more open to like going to events and public things.
Speaker 1: Were like, I'm more of like a one on one
Speaker 1: Like I would go to dinner with you and Renn
Speaker 1: and Kyle or whatever, but like, I'm probably not going
Speaker 1: to a big birthday dinner unless it's a best friend, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not into all that. So we were
Speaker 1: talking and I said, so, what's like the general rules,
Speaker 1: because I think he's going to have a super Bowl
Speaker 1: party here with the kids. I said, what do you
Speaker 1: think the general rules are with like if if you're
Speaker 1: dating girls, are they going to be here and just
Speaker 1: not be introduced? And he's like, it's really up to you,
Speaker 1: Like I haven't even kind of thought about that, And
Speaker 1: is he dating by the way, yes, oh yes, both
Speaker 1: of you are dating both of us are. So I
Speaker 1: don't really know. I mean it's we're in a really
Speaker 1: weird situation because we nest, so like one of us
Speaker 1: is always living in our home, so like if and
Speaker 1: when we're not living in our home, the other person
Speaker 1: is not living in another home that we own, Like
Speaker 1: we're at Kyle's and he's at his friend Zach's. Like
Speaker 1: things are very god Kyle and Zach are handling it.
Speaker 1: But I think that's what I said. Our therapist actually asked,
Speaker 1: if it gets serious enough with one of your guys'
Speaker 1: future people, do you want to meet them before they
Speaker 1: meet your kids? And I mean I got emotional when asked,
Speaker 1: and I said, I actually don't I don't know the
Speaker 1: answer to that question yet.
Speaker 3: I think that's pretty reasonable, though. I'll tell you why.
Speaker 3: I'd like to know you have small children, right, yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, like little Dove and you know, stuff like that.
Speaker 2: I would like to know who's around my kids, right.
Speaker 1: But then at where do you draw the line? Like
Speaker 1: I could have been like, you know, he had people
Speaker 1: over for a playoffs event, and I know none of
Speaker 1: the girls who was dating were there, but there were girls,
Speaker 1: and there were people I didn't know, and the kids
Speaker 1: are there. And do I think anything unsafe was happening.
Speaker 1: Absolutely not. But like, I can't be micro managing who.
Speaker 2: We're talking about somebody that was dating.
Speaker 3: You forgot the whole condition you just put on that
Speaker 3: I know about people coming over and being friendly. We're
Speaker 3: talking about someone that he would be dating consistently, right.
Speaker 1: But if that person that he was dating was just
Speaker 1: here with a group of thirty other people and they
Speaker 1: weren't showing that they were dating, would I care or
Speaker 1: would I not? I do not. It can't I can't write.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not sure. Hey, listen, the rules have changed,
Speaker 3: So there you go.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I think that's where it gets tricky. I
Speaker 1: think you know. Yes, it's easy to say I would
Speaker 1: want to meet the person first, but if there's any
Speaker 1: kind of social interaction, I don't need to be managing that.
Speaker 1: But I guess if it gets to the point where, like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm taking the kids to dinner with I'm just making
Speaker 1: up a name Janet, right, I would probably want to know.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want Cruz to be like, hey, mom, we
Speaker 1: met Janet tonight at dinner. Her and dad were holding hands.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you would like to know them before, and you'd
Speaker 3: like to get to know Janet, or at least be
Speaker 3: introduced to Janet, so it doesn't come out of the.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know that I need to meet Janet.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, well then you don't well.
Speaker 1: That, But I'm asking you would if it was reversed,
Speaker 1: would you want to meet Janet? Poor, poor random person
Speaker 1: named Janet that thinks I may be talking about her.
Speaker 1: I'm not. I just made it.
Speaker 3: Let me let me let me roll back thirty years
Speaker 3: in my brain here. Yes, the answer is yes. If
Speaker 3: it was someone that was important, that was going to
Speaker 3: be spending time with my children, possibly spending the night
Speaker 3: with you know, my former spouse and the kids getting
Speaker 3: to know them. Yes, I'd like to at least put
Speaker 3: my eyes in energy, you know, I'd like to feel
Speaker 3: that person's energy for a second. I don't think I
Speaker 3: get wrapped up in it because I made a choice
Speaker 3: not to. I made a choice to disconnect, So I can't.
Speaker 3: You know, you have to be a big girl here
Speaker 3: and say okay, well, and I think it would be
Speaker 3: fair for the opposite if you had someone spending time
Speaker 3: with your children and one has the right to, you know,
Speaker 3: lay eyes on this person and at least meet them
Speaker 3: and you know, look at them, not saying that anybody's
Speaker 3: making bad decisions.
Speaker 2: Let's not do that idiots. Fair.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, And I mean I think in hindsight,
Speaker 1: you know, when I think about it, you know, my
Speaker 1: relationship with Christina has really evolved through the years. Sure,
Speaker 1: and it took time because of the way it started.
Speaker 1: So if we could eliminate that initial but I don't
Speaker 1: know if you can eliminate it. I don't know if
Speaker 1: that feeling like once you're getting divorced, or once you're divorced,
Speaker 1: whether it's mutual decision, one person decided. I don't know
Speaker 1: if those feelings are going to come back like, are
Speaker 1: there feelings of jealousy? Is there going to be feelings?
Speaker 3: I think you have to look at it the same
Speaker 3: way we were talking earlier about grief, in that it's
Speaker 3: not linear, in that it's just sort of one of
Speaker 3: these things that rises and falls. It comes in and out,
Speaker 3: and you're going to have to address it when it
Speaker 3: comes up and not let it take hold of you
Speaker 3: and try to keep it all in perspective.
Speaker 1: I guess that makes sense. This is a fan question, Erica,
Speaker 1: did you ever experience resentment with Tom's exes? Did they
Speaker 1: have a say in your relationship with Tom?
Speaker 2: No? No, they did not.
Speaker 3: I think that, And I think one of the great
Speaker 3: things is that when I was with Tom, I had
Speaker 3: also been married and divorced, and I was already a mom,
Speaker 3: So I didn't have the unrealistic expectations like I'd already
Speaker 3: been through some life stuff. Myself and Tom had already
Speaker 3: been married twice before, and like I said earlier, I
Speaker 3: was an adult, he had adult children. I kind of
Speaker 3: feel like, whatever happened before is whatever happened before. I
Speaker 3: kind of like, don't want to know, don't care. When
Speaker 3: you're with me, you're with me, and I just And
Speaker 3: it's so funny because, like I was thinking about it now,
Speaker 3: if I was in a relationship, I don't want to
Speaker 3: be in a relationship with somebody that has a crazy
Speaker 3: ex life or crazy children. That's a real turn off
Speaker 3: for me. Yet how you feel about that? But that's
Speaker 3: not something that I'm interested. I'm not interested in raising
Speaker 3: somebody else's kids. Kind of don't want to know your
Speaker 3: and it's not where.
Speaker 2: I'm out in my life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean for me, because I have such young kids,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be to me. It would be a bigger
Speaker 1: red flag. If I met a fifty year old man
Speaker 1: who had no kids and was never.
Speaker 2: Married, well, then I agree with.
Speaker 1: Then somebody that's fifty has three kids, divorced ten years ago,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 3: Well, to anybody that's listening, let me just say this.
Speaker 3: If I end up dating your dad, don't worry. I
Speaker 3: don't want to know you, and I'm not trying to
Speaker 3: take you away from you, and i don't want your
Speaker 3: fucking money and I'm really not into it, So don't worry.
Speaker 3: I don't want to know you, don't give a fuck
Speaker 3: about you, don't give a fuck about your inheritance. I'm
Speaker 3: here to have a good time with your dad. I
Speaker 3: have my own shit going on, and if you know
Speaker 3: anything about me, you know I'm not really interested in
Speaker 3: you or your life.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: If that doesn't that should be your hinge profile.
Speaker 2: Not here feel your dad's money.
Speaker 3: Don't really give a fuck about you or your family traditions.
Speaker 2: I'm just here for a good time.
Speaker 1: Well, what if you had to go to Christmas like
Speaker 1: you went on a Christmas trip together? Would you?
Speaker 2: No? No? No?
Speaker 3: Now, if I liked this family and I thought they
Speaker 3: were lovely and they liked me, of course, But if
Speaker 3: you're talking about trying to make something work, no, the
Speaker 3: answer is absolutely fucking not.
Speaker 2: If everybody meets.
Speaker 3: And they get along and it's cool, great, I'm like
Speaker 3: down to have the best time. But if you think,
Speaker 3: for one ioda I'm going to spend one fucking second
Speaker 3: of what's left of my life trying to assimilate into
Speaker 3: some man's family.
Speaker 2: Fuck No, is.
Speaker 1: This why you didn't ever go on a date with
Speaker 1: my dad? Because you didn't want to be my stepmom?
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 3: And your dad never wanted to date me, and I
Speaker 3: never wanted to date your dad. That's trueful way your
Speaker 3: dad is a nice name.
Speaker 1: What am I? Mom? Can we do the pot earlier?
Speaker 3: I know what, you need to stop right here because
Speaker 3: I'm starting to feel some kind.
Speaker 2: Of weird way about that. That would just be horrible.
Speaker 2: But you know what, it's true, and I don't think
Speaker 2: that you would either.
Speaker 3: I am at a face in my life where I
Speaker 3: want to be with people that want to be with me.
Speaker 3: If somebody's lovely and they have great kids, that's wonderful.
Speaker 3: I can guarantee you if I get with someone, I
Speaker 3: am not going to mother your children. I am not
Speaker 3: going to It's not where I'm at in my life.
Speaker 3: It's just not you know. I want people who are
Speaker 3: squared away, who feel good, who've got great situations, because
Speaker 3: my shit is nailed.
Speaker 2: Down, you know well.
Speaker 1: Also, going through your Hinge profile that you haven't completed,
Speaker 1: I don't think that you need to have relatability photos.
Speaker 1: I think you just post the photos of you and
Speaker 1: people can.
Speaker 3: Do anything very relatable about me. I think that those
Speaker 3: who relate will relate. I don't think I should try
Speaker 3: to make myself something other than what I really am. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's my pally weird and kind of out there. And
Speaker 3: if you get to know me like you've gotten to
Speaker 3: know me. You know, I am a regular person. I
Speaker 3: just happen to present a little differently.
Speaker 1: But you also you're a good advice giver and you
Speaker 1: can I mean, granted, like us all you can, you know,
Speaker 1: have a hot head like we all can, but you
Speaker 1: actually like have the ability to read people and kind
Speaker 1: of you're able to sus out situations that I wouldn't
Speaker 1: say everybody has the ability to do.
Speaker 3: I think that I'm able to just like take a
Speaker 3: step back and look at things and be like, you
Speaker 3: know what, I don't know if that's the right answer
Speaker 3: for this, but I don't have the answer, so you.
Speaker 2: Know, I just I try to just take it as
Speaker 2: I see it.
Speaker 3: But I'm excited for you when you're dating, and I'm really,
Speaker 3: I'm really I will see this.
Speaker 2: And as I was scrolling, I saw you on the
Speaker 2: pod and I.
Speaker 3: Have to take this time to say, I'm very proud
Speaker 3: of the way that you're recovering because you.
Speaker 2: Know, you got smacked in the face.
Speaker 1: I smacked myself in the face. I got smacked in
Speaker 1: the face, and.
Speaker 2: I tell you that, but that's part of life.
Speaker 3: It's part of why your people enjoy listening to you
Speaker 3: and enjoy watching you. You've been open and as honest
Speaker 3: as you can be, as one can be, and know
Speaker 3: they don't deserve your you know, entire blood Gud's history.
Speaker 3: But you've done well, and you've picked yourself up and
Speaker 3: dusted yourself off, and that's really all you can ask for,
Speaker 3: So keep going.
Speaker 1: Really proud of you, Thank you. I really appreciate being
Speaker 1: able to talk to you, and I miss doing you
Speaker 1: know what. I'm happy for my situation, but I selfishly
Speaker 1: miss seeing you in person, sane. So I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I'm going to deal with this extension enough. Get
Speaker 1: your ass back here.
Speaker 2: I tell my two weeks and I'm coming home and
Speaker 2: we're going to sit down.
Speaker 3: We're going to do a proper catch up. We'll do
Speaker 3: some really good pods and we'll have some good FaceTime.
Speaker 1: I'll go back to applying makeup, to making an effort.
Speaker 3: I won't be in this corporate apartment, which no shame
Speaker 3: to this corporate apartment.
Speaker 2: But you know, I like being with you.
Speaker 1: I like being with you too. But you guys, thanks
Speaker 1: for tuning in for another episode of Diamonds in the
Speaker 1: reugh Next week, we are going to do a little
Speaker 1: special Gallantines episode.
Speaker 2: I think it's a Galantine's Day for us.
Speaker 1: I think it's a Gallantine's Day. I don't think even
Speaker 1: if you get set up on Hinge prior to them,
Speaker 1: or if I end up going out with the guys,
Speaker 1: I'm going to stay val I don't think I'm getting
Speaker 1: any Valentine grams.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you, amen, I'm not either.
Speaker 1: Maybe we should spend the night not together, but spend
Speaker 1: the night focusing on guys. Do you need a cameo
Speaker 1: and we make money on Valentine's that.
Speaker 2: I've never done a cameo? Is it good?
Speaker 1: It's good? But I this is my issue. If they
Speaker 1: come in and waves, I don't want to do them.
Speaker 1: But if I got like forty cameos at once and
Speaker 1: could bang them all out on Valentine's Day when I'm
Speaker 1: feeling lonely and sad, I think I could probably do it.
Speaker 1: That's pretty good money. And then you're like doing something
Speaker 1: positive on the No, it might.
Speaker 3: Be interesting to do like a like a Valentine's Day
Speaker 3: cameo sing or Christmas time, you know, like those kinds
Speaker 3: of things, But I don't think I could do it
Speaker 3: on a database.
Speaker 2: No, okay, this is Erica. You know you're you're pay
Speaker 2: I heard.
Speaker 1: You're turning thirty seven. Hay birthday. Maybe your best year yet?
Speaker 1: Probably not. Probably we're on year five as shit, so
Speaker 1: don't take advice from us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they'll take any bye from me.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Well I miss you and we'll be
Speaker 1: back next week. You guys, thanks for tuning in to
Speaker 1: another one.
Speaker 3: You later, Bye bye