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Speaker 1: It's time. I have to read your intro. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to get anything wrong.

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Speaker 2: You can get it wrong, and I will forgive you.

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Speaker 2: Really yeah, yeah, I make it up all right.

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Speaker 1: Our next guest is a two time award winning champion

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Speaker 1: of Miss Miss USA America.

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Speaker 2: He came in when I was changing.

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Speaker 1: You know our next guest. I know our next guest

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Speaker 1: from Saturday Night Live, Hamilton and Stumble on NBC. Excuse me,

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Speaker 1: it's Taran Killer.

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Speaker 2: I love it. Excuse me, you're excuse How are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm wonderful, I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to

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Speaker 2: speak to you. We've crossed paths, but we've never had

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Speaker 2: hang time.

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Speaker 1: We've never This is new and fresh, which is nice.

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Speaker 1: Are you nervous at all?

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Speaker 2: Always a little bit of on camera, but not specific

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Speaker 2: to your show, and certainly your presence puts me more

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Speaker 2: at ease.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. I will take that as a compliment. It

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Speaker 1: could have been it could have been an insult you,

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Speaker 1: but then you rounded it out. Is a compliment.

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Speaker 2: Ease is better than you know? Yes what, it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 2: It's not that it all matters, but you I just

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Speaker 2: I respect your talent and the little social crossover of

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Speaker 2: hearsay and and people I think we both mutually love

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Speaker 2: and have spent more time with. Yeah, speak very highly

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Speaker 2: of you and really you on Comedy Bang Bang is

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Speaker 2: like one of my favorite things ever. You think pasta

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Speaker 2: is so deliciously dumb.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, It's so stupid.

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Speaker 2: It's really down, thank you.

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Speaker 1: It's really the first time I did it, me being

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Speaker 1: like in Italy on a cliff. This isn't when I

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Speaker 1: did it. When I came up with it and wrote

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Speaker 1: it in my notes, I was like, I know this.

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Speaker 1: I was on a cliff eating dinner in this in Positano,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, I know.

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Speaker 2: A past the past yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Which is so nothing and dumb. But also when people

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Speaker 1: say they've heard me on Comedy Bang Bang, I immediately clench

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Speaker 1: a little bit intense. Right, let me tell you why

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Speaker 1: that is me. That is me being me okay in

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Speaker 1: a way that I don't think I'm me anywhere else.

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Speaker 2: It is Yeah, I understand that. I understand that, like

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Speaker 2: it's it's I think Scott Grant's full permission to be unhinged. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And that is why it's one of my favorite things

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Speaker 2: to do and favorite things to listen to.

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Speaker 1: It's so fun. But thank you, thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: I have to ask you immediately off the bat, out

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Speaker 1: the gate, who or what do you want to say

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Speaker 1: thanks to?

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Speaker 2: I thought about this, I read the prompt, I went through,

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Speaker 2: I did all sorts of bits. Okay, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: say thank you to my nanny, my ninety six year

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Speaker 2: old nanny, my father's mother. Okay, for life, forgiving, for

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Speaker 2: indirectly causing my existence. Sure, but she's she's just like

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Speaker 2: the grandparent who's definitely there the most for our extended family. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and that felt like she's yeah, long overdue, a long

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Speaker 2: overdue thank you.

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Speaker 1: Oh well, she listened to the podcast.

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Speaker 2: Yeah frequently will she told me to do it. Oh,

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Speaker 2: that's so, she's my podcast agent. Actually she broke her

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Speaker 2: the deal. She gets she gets so sweet.

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Speaker 1: Okay, we have to thanks to her. That's really special

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Speaker 1: because to hear ninety six years old and still acting

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Speaker 1: as glue for the family.

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Speaker 2: On the daily, I know, phenomenal. That's what she did.

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Speaker 2: Her specific contribution to me is I went to I'm

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Speaker 2: a southern California guy, as we spoke a little bit before,

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Speaker 2: and my family was living in Big Bear when I

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Speaker 2: was accepted to Loxa, which is the La County High

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Speaker 2: School for the Arts and enable to enable me to attend,

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Speaker 2: I would come down the hill, as we say, during

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Speaker 2: the week, stay with my grandma on Long Beach, and

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Speaker 2: she drove me almost every morning to the campus of

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Speaker 2: cal State, LA opposite ends of the seven ten. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and did that for a full year.

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Speaker 1: Oh she loves you.

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Speaker 2: So that alone. Yeah, she loves me. Yeah, that's sweet.

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Speaker 1: Good any I'm shouting her out to you because that's

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Speaker 1: very cool, that's very special. How many kids do you

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Speaker 1: have now? I have two daughters, two daughters, girl, dad, girl, dad?

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Speaker 1: Do you have like a sticker or a sweatshirt or

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Speaker 1: a mug?

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Speaker 2: I don't, and I even I'm a big Los Angeles

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Speaker 2: Rams fan and had to purchase my own Rams colors

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Speaker 2: number one dad shirt because they.

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Speaker 1: Weren't going to go We're not having it.

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Speaker 2: Lazy grateful bums. I'd like, can we can I throw

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Speaker 2: out an unthink too? They got a couple of those brewing.

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Speaker 1: Really pissed at those young ladies I helped create indirectly

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Speaker 1: Rams fan. I have to ask because I'm not giant

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Speaker 1: spots sports girl, but I'm baby sports girl.

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Speaker 2: Okay you said, okay, okay, got it because I am

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Speaker 2: such a sport when you said giant sports girl. And

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Speaker 2: you like your Giants or San Francisco Giants.

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Speaker 1: Baseball Baltimore and so just off Ravens, Ravens hometown pride.

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Speaker 1: I do have Orioles Ravens. But I also enjoy the Yankees,

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Speaker 1: and I also enjoy the Knicks.

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Speaker 2: We've both had New York thrust upon us in similar ways.

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Speaker 1: So do you care about the Knicks still?

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Speaker 2: I like the Knicks. That's any like Nix and Mets.

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Speaker 2: Blue and orange is easy to root for. It's a

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Speaker 2: fun underdog color combination.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Going to Metz Stadium is a breeze. Have you done

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Speaker 2: it recently?

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Speaker 1: But it's very nice.

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Speaker 2: Yankees not as easy unless you have a particular kind

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Speaker 2: of ticket hookup.

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Speaker 1: And I've had that ticket hookup insane. And I let

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Speaker 1: me tell you what. The last time I went with

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Speaker 1: that ticket hook up, it was pouring down rain.

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Speaker 2: No good.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it was an aggress.

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Speaker 2: Even the billionaires get wet and rain, you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean, Even the billionaire Yankee fans get wet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, humbling experience.

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Speaker 2: If you go inside to that lounge, that candy walls,

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Speaker 2: and then the candy candy wall.

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Speaker 1: The ring pops. There's a ring.

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Speaker 2: Pops love as far as the eye can see.

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Speaker 1: Last time I was there and this was I had

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Speaker 1: so much respect for this man.

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Speaker 2: Five rings on your chant?

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Speaker 1: Even better, even better, I saw a man he said,

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Speaker 1: fuck decorum. He had a bag and he wasing out

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Speaker 1: the balls, I mean genuinely emptying the bulls, like no

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Speaker 1: kind of shame whatsoever. And I thought, you know what,

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Speaker 1: you were in this fancy schmancy lounge and you don't

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Speaker 1: give a.

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Speaker 2: Fuck and arms Halloween is taken care of.

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Speaker 1: It was in fact August, you know what. He might

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Speaker 1: have been reping, and he was giving out the good

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Speaker 1: candy too.

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Speaker 2: He took his his merse ful of ring pops back

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Speaker 2: to his underground bunker where barrels of distilled water.

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Speaker 1: I was like, this is crazy. He doesn't care respect.

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Speaker 1: I want to aspire to have that kind of I

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Speaker 1: don't care what everyone thinks. At some point that's like negative, yes,

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Speaker 1: it's I mean, we're talking in the red okay, rams though,

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Speaker 1: I'm asking because aren't rams and newish to the city.

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Speaker 1: I know La had a team. It was the Chargers.

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Speaker 2: See no, no, I make this. That's very wrong, And

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Speaker 2: as a Rams fan, I have to correct you on that.

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Speaker 2: Chargers have always been San Diego, San Diego, and then

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Speaker 2: they moved to Carson. Nobody I knew because they're petulant

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Speaker 2: and the city didn't buy them a fancier new stadium,

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Speaker 2: so they left a two hour drive north Lane.

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Speaker 1: So now they're the Carson Chargers.

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Speaker 2: Now they're the LA Chargers. But they came a year

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Speaker 2: after the Rams return.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: The Rams had played in LA for many years, then

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Speaker 2: moved to Anaheim and were still Southern California based. Then

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Speaker 2: they moved to Saint Louis, Okay, and they were the

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Speaker 2: Saint Louis Rams for almost thirty years. I think it's

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Speaker 2: like ninety four to twenty fifteen. Okay, do you want

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Speaker 2: me to verify this before we move on?

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Speaker 1: No, because honestly, Okay, not a stickler for stats, I'm

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Speaker 1: not al for stats, but listening is I don't remember

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Speaker 1: baby sports, baby sports, little junior sports, this little baby.

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Speaker 1: But here's the thing I do want to say. I

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Speaker 1: wasn't totally off base to mention Chargers in LA in

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Speaker 1: the ballpark. Intention wrong, You just have strong feelings about

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Speaker 1: it as well.

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Speaker 2: Chargers were not here before the Rams, though, is the

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Speaker 2: real sticking point he's getting.

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Speaker 1: I feel scared.

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Speaker 2: It's just it's just our owner, San Cronky, he paid

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Speaker 2: for Sofi Stadium, and they're like our new roommates that

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Speaker 2: are helping pay rent. But they're new, they're more new, okay,

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Speaker 2: and not as not as accomplished of a football team.

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Speaker 1: Okay, statistically fair enough, I get it. The Rams went

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Speaker 1: to the Super Bowl a few years back. They were

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Speaker 1: in the playoffs this year. Again, what I tell you,

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Speaker 1: baby sports. I know, my baby sports.

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Speaker 2: Tangential sports, tangential sports. Still I'm the parenthetical.

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Speaker 1: You understand. I'm still trying to understand what is happening

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Speaker 1: in the game. Yeah, four chances to go ten yards.

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Speaker 2: You're you're a little more. We're in toddler phase now,

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Speaker 2: toddler not a baby anymore. Okay. I'm two three, standing

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Speaker 2: on your own two fields.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm two years old.

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Speaker 2: An occasional accident, but that's okay. We don't shame no,

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Speaker 2: And it's okay because we were to hold your handley

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Speaker 2: taking big girl, big girl, do by yourself.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. I'm getting better every day. I feel that

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Speaker 1: I'm getting better every day.

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Speaker 2: No, I love that. Yeah. Yeah, football rules wise most

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Speaker 2: complicated by far.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but sometimes with football, I'm just and I maybe

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Speaker 1: have said this on the pod before, maybe, but it

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Speaker 1: is the thought I have where I go. I hate

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Speaker 1: how confused I am because I know that the dumbest

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Speaker 1: dumb dummy knows what's going on, and so I feel

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Speaker 1: the need to really figure it out. Except for I

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Speaker 1: just I'm like, I enjoy halftime shows. I enjoy knowing

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Speaker 1: the stars of the teams. Yes, I enjoy watching the stars.

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Speaker 2: We love the Please come out through your through pyrotechnical

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Speaker 2: smoke in your backstage tunnel and appear before let me

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Speaker 2: see your little touchdown, your Los Angeles Rams stars. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I want to see a little da Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I know I know enough to get by,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know.

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Speaker 2: The watch of it is like, what huh? Why did

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Speaker 2: they blow the whistle again? We're stopping again? Why we

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Speaker 2: got to stop a gag? Can we just get to

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Speaker 2: the end of the game. This is true. I agree

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Speaker 2: and understand and support all of that. You've kind of

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Speaker 2: touched upon what my favorite thing about football is and

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Speaker 2: we're I love comes from is the gather. It is

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Speaker 2: the halftime, It is the snacks. It is people gather.

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Speaker 2: Because there's so few games, and because there's there's such

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Speaker 2: a high rate of injury, they play more sport. There's

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Speaker 2: a preciousness to it. So people bring the snacks and

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Speaker 2: you talk and super Bowl commercials matter and it's a

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Speaker 2: cultural conversation, and that gather element is what initially hooked me.

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Speaker 2: I do know the rules now, and once I learned

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Speaker 2: the rules, what I appreciate about football more than almost

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Speaker 2: any other sport is that each individual it's that preciousness. Still,

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Speaker 2: it's a different version of that preciousness. Each individual play

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Speaker 2: has such tension, right Basketball, soccer the same thing, the

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Speaker 2: same thing until the very end, and then there's tension.

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Speaker 2: But with football, every time they hike it something phenomenal,

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Speaker 2: something game changing could happen, something life changing, going back

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Speaker 2: to injuries could change and that tension, I think is

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Speaker 2: what really holds me as a football fan.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you have sold me on the art of football,

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Speaker 1: the art the sport as well. No, you're working, Honestly,

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Speaker 1: it's been awesome talking to you. Hare, yes, and have

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Speaker 1: you Are you making your your daughter's sports fans, football.

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Speaker 2: Fans specifically against their will. Okay, but it's happened just

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Speaker 2: through like it's just wearing them down. I've just warned

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Speaker 2: them down over time because none of the women in

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Speaker 2: my house, including my wife, like are invested. But I

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Speaker 2: do already feel like, oh, who's winning, you know, like

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Speaker 2: they'll throw out like which down is it? And like

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Speaker 2: I have to play it cool and I'm be like third,

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Speaker 2: third and short. Yeah, and it's happening. And and if

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Speaker 2: I give them anything, they don't. There's no obligation to

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Speaker 2: be as into it as me. It is like sort

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Speaker 2: of the dad's thing and I'm happy to share with you,

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Speaker 2: but no obligation. But yes, as my girls launch into

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Speaker 2: the world, I know there will come a time where

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Speaker 2: they are in a work situation, a social some situation

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Speaker 2: and football comes up and they get to present knowledgeable

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Speaker 2: about it, whether or not, whether or not passionate, that's

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Speaker 2: not what we're talking about, but knowledgeable enough to keep

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Speaker 2: that conversation going, which will lead to some future opportunity,

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Speaker 2: and that alone is worthwhile.

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Speaker 1: It's you know, It's true. I often think it is

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Speaker 1: a missed opportunity to not know more about football, because

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Speaker 1: I think people are quite impressed when someone, especially who's

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Speaker 1: not passionate about it, can be like, I know what's

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Speaker 1: going on here. I know exactly what's happening. I know

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Speaker 1: the stats, I know I know how this play should

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Speaker 1: go here. I am just watching high I do enjoy

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Speaker 1: a highlight.

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Speaker 2: Yes, may I ask.

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Speaker 1: You in maybe I think, yeah, La played, La played

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Speaker 1: the Bears. Yes, and yes the Bears lost or.

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Speaker 2: The Bears lost, it's the highlight of that game is

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Speaker 2: a Bears play. Beautiful throat.

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Speaker 3: That's a beautiful throat, beautautiful, chaotic, beautiful, gorgeous, buttery gold,

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Speaker 3: royal blues, Royal blues, cinnamon, orange, orange, cinnamon.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about a cinnamon's soldier field.

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Speaker 2: Full salute for that cinnamon orange, royal, navy blue, tossed

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Speaker 2: to the corner stage he threw it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, and if only, if only they could have

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Speaker 1: won the game, if only your team we were victorious

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Speaker 1: that game, victorious.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, we won that one, and then we won

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Speaker 2: the next one. So next we lost to the ultimate

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Speaker 2: super Bowl, the eventual super Bowl champs of Seahawks.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm happy with the Seahawks. Did you find the

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Speaker 1: Super Bowl to be boring in.

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Speaker 2: Terms of gameplay, I absolutely did.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know what was going on, and with

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Speaker 1: all due respect, I was like, oh, this feels like

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Speaker 1: boring in a way that it usually isn't so bored.

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Speaker 2: The most impressive stat is that it was the most kicks,

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Speaker 2: most field goal.

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Speaker 1: Sport in Somebody said to me that when it's a

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Speaker 1: defensive game like that, it's it's so. I didn't know

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Speaker 1: what it meant, but I've retained it now to be

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Speaker 1: able to stay in conversation like to you.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and and the continuation of this conversation shall proceed

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Speaker 2: because of your because I said conversational knowledge of.

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Speaker 1: Football, because exactly just enough to get and now you're trapped.

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Speaker 2: Now I'm realizing, Oh god, what have I done to

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Speaker 2: my children? Yeah, they're going to be this, Oh god,

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Speaker 2: the football conversations for the rest of they're like a lot.

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Speaker 1: Either one of them expressed interest in being performers.

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Speaker 2: You know, that's a great question. It's fluctuated. My oldest

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Speaker 2: I think has really beautiful natural performative talent and grew

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Speaker 2: out of it in middle school, but she loves the

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Speaker 2: creative community of it. Then she changed schools in high

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Speaker 2: school per her choice, and it really was a beautiful

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Speaker 2: thing because she kind of came alive academically. She went

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Speaker 2: from a place that was very like social emotional development

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Speaker 2: and like, you don't get grades mastery, you get approaching

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Speaker 2: technical mastery. And she wanted to She's like, where am

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Speaker 2: I what's my number? Give me a number? That has

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Speaker 2: changed her. She's a junior in high school right now,

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Speaker 2: and and she's you know, the college conversation is happening,

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Speaker 2: and for the last year and change it's been I

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Speaker 2: think I might end up being a business or marketing major.

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Speaker 1: I know that's right.

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Speaker 2: I'm glad to think so. And I understand it because

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Speaker 2: she's like, I don't know what my passion is yet.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what I want to do yet. But

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Speaker 2: when the time comes, I want my education to be

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Speaker 2: able to support it so that I can run it myself.

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Speaker 2: I can launch it. I can say it's all.

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Speaker 1: The right thing, thank you.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm all right, it's some false, false humility, but

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Speaker 2: team effort.

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Speaker 1: I'll say it for you. I don't say, I'll say so.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to shout out to her pair.

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Speaker 4: I don't know I know if I'm a good day,

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Speaker 4: I'm here to build you up.

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Speaker 2: No, I think that meaning that's a song lyric thank you.

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Speaker 1: But listen you saying thank you buttercup to me. I

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Speaker 1: simply take no issue whether it was demeaning.

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Speaker 2: I heard it out loud, like you probably. My brain

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Speaker 2: works in song lyrics frequently, what you build me? I

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Speaker 2: bought a cup and then us conversationally and still getting

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Speaker 2: to know each other on camera under the keynote. Like course,

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Speaker 2: I was like, no, that's didn't feel right. Here's what

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Speaker 2: I want to say.

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Speaker 1: Don't please, don't know. I was fine with it. I

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Speaker 1: understand your instinct to apologize for other people, not for me.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna also say this, my brain works in song

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Speaker 1: and I wonder if we have mental illness.

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Speaker 2: I'm open to it. I'm willing to do the test

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Speaker 2: study because it happens with frequency.

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Speaker 1: Amazing, because we have someone here today to both of.

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Speaker 2: Us, doctor lyrics, doctor lyrics. I am doctor lyrics and

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Speaker 2: I'm here too, herics. If you have the disease, it's good. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's just the start.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I'd be any good at it. Together,

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Speaker 1: I could do I could, I could I could. I

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Speaker 1: could be the book, you write the book. Yes, that's

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Speaker 1: what I'll do. I'll do that and you do the lyrics,

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Speaker 1: and then we're.

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Speaker 2: Gonna do that. Look in my eyes glowed.

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Speaker 1: Your daughter, though, saying that, I think is really remarkable

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Speaker 1: in that she is seventeen ish sixteen. I think it's

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Speaker 1: crazy that we ever make a person that age decide

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Speaker 1: what they want to do for their life. Of course,

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Speaker 1: in terms of a major, I just think it's crazy.

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Speaker 1: And obviously there's free reign ultimately in many cases in

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Speaker 1: that many people are not using their degrees and they're

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Speaker 1: doing something different. But I'm like, yeah, why are we

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Speaker 1: letting it? Sixteen year old knows what they want to

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Speaker 1: do forever, ever.

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Speaker 2: Ever, forever, never seems that long. Until you're drown Miss Jackson,

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Speaker 2: I could become a magician to Aberka dabba all this

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Speaker 2: out of okay, but I'm trying not to try to

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Speaker 2: keep it one note. We can't pay for its sixteen bars?

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Speaker 2: What is it? No, it's eight notes, eight notes of melody.

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Speaker 1: That was such a good song.

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Speaker 2: That was That was freshman year of college for me

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Speaker 2: and miss Jackson? Was it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? It was okay? But wait, your daughter smart.

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Speaker 2: She's smart. She's smart. I'm eventually going to answer your

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Speaker 2: initial question, which and I'll just jump to it, which

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Speaker 2: is only recently she gone, like, I do like creative people, though,

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Speaker 2: so maybe we should look at colleges that have like

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Speaker 2: management schools, executive man whatever and arts because she's she's

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Speaker 2: a wonderful writer. When she was really young, she would

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Speaker 2: write like really profound poetry, like did that for years.

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Speaker 2: And those are like the birthday gifts that were like,

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Speaker 2: oh god, you know your birthday poem look forward to.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So she and then my youngest one, she's like more shy,

379
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Speaker 2: but she has just recently said like I think maybe

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Speaker 2: I want to take singing classes and and what's really

381
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:13,880
Speaker 2: this is what's really. I mean, there's so many cool

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Speaker 2: things about both my daughters, but my youngest is saving

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Speaker 2: her own money for her first big purchase, which is

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Speaker 2: an electric guitar and an amp.

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Speaker 1: Incredible, badass, how incredible? Okay, might I ask how your

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00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 1: youngest is making money? Are we giving? Are we giving?

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Speaker 2: Schedule? And there and and basically there's like you don't add,

388
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Speaker 2: you subtract, right, It's like this money's yours. It's on

389
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Speaker 2: the table. It's yours to claim. But if this doesn't

390
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:43,680
Speaker 2: get accomplished by a certain point, it reduces in amounts,

391
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Speaker 2: and and then the week goes by and yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like that, ya starting with an amount to be good?

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Speaker 2: That is Mom, that's all Mom, that's okay.

394
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Speaker 1: Do you know how mom came up with that concept?

395
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Speaker 2: No, Mom's really good at like listening to like the

396
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Speaker 2: young female development books. There's a book called Tangled, which

397
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,639
Speaker 2: a lot of a lot of parents have read and

398
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,280
Speaker 2: helps you deal with the adolescent female mind and how

399
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:10,680
Speaker 2: to be there to like like what part of the

400
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,199
Speaker 2: verbiage we sort of the words. It's like, do you

401
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 2: are you do need me to listen right now? Or

402
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:17,600
Speaker 2: are you looking for help? And let them take control

403
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 2: of that suppose. Yeah, there's a lot of that's good.

404
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 1: That's good for relationships adult.

405
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,159
Speaker 2: Uh. When I was flying back and forth from LA

406
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 2: to New York for work, Kobe and I we went

407
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,879
Speaker 2: to our first couple's counseling and he gave us great

408
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 2: language to help each other.

409
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Speaker 1: Yeah. By the way, I had heard the lore of

410
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,159
Speaker 1: you flying back and forth, and I think you and

411
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,440
Speaker 1: I had a quick conversation in passing. I can't say where.

412
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Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember.

413
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Speaker 2: Where can city?

414
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:51,080
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, it must have been. I'm going to need

415
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,679
Speaker 1: you to do that two more times in this episode

416
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Speaker 1: to find a place. Yes, okay, thank you just for

417
00:20:55,960 --> 00:21:00,159
Speaker 1: me tackled by it. So you I had heard the

418
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Speaker 1: Lord of you flying from New York to LA to

419
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Speaker 1: be with what your wife, every katus, every single height.

420
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Speaker 2: My oldest was born, my oldest was one.

421
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Speaker 5: Okay, when I got that job, and for four years,

422
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Speaker 5: every hiatus, i'd fly back. And then what happened the

423
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Speaker 5: last two years they her Kobe's job finished in l

424
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Speaker 5: A and we moved out there full time.

425
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Speaker 1: Okay, oh my goodness, every single das. Did I hear

426
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Speaker 1: that you also did on some Sundays just for Sunday, Monday.

427
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Speaker 2: Most most Uh, No, I don't think I was crazy.

428
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,680
Speaker 2: That's too much. That's that's not useless. It was really fun.

429
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 2: Was like there was one time where I went to

430
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Speaker 2: like my local grocery store on a Sunday, and I

431
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 2: because what I would do is the after party, the

432
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Speaker 2: after after cab at five am on a six thirty

433
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Speaker 2: am flight and like at ten am at the grocery

434
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:53,399
Speaker 2: store back in LA, like going like last night was

435
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,399
Speaker 2: a new It was a new episode. What are you

436
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 2: doing here? Yeah? And that was really fun.

437
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 1: It was I flew for a friends Withdding my first seasons,

438
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,200
Speaker 1: I believe the first second season. The wedding was here

439
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: in La Kansas. Oh nice, you're gonna really okay, that's

440
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 1: one we love. Okay, I just feel like you're gonna

441
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 1: let me forget about it.

442
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,440
Speaker 2: The button if I'm playing by the rules, it's now.

443
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 2: The button of the episode.

444
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,240
Speaker 1: Was non committal, so as to leave room for you.

445
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:34,439
Speaker 1: I didn't want to steal your thunder. But it was

446
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 1: l A. And I flew from New York to l

447
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 1: A and at the wedding there. It was also my birthday.

448
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 1: The wedding was on my birthday.

449
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:44,879
Speaker 2: Which is not a flex friend.

450
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 1: No, it's what are you gonna not have your wedding

451
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 1: because it's my birthday? Yeah, it's the venue's fault. But

452
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 1: it was a Sunday wedding, and I at the after

453
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,919
Speaker 1: party because it was my birthday, people giving me drinks,

454
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,720
Speaker 1: buying me drinks, and I didn't My relationship with alcohol

455
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 1: was such that I didn't understand it. I didn't understand

456
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 1: how much I didn't really drink in college, so I

457
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, he drinks drinking everything like it's water

458
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 1: that will catch up to you.

459
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 2: Teren, I don't need the plane food. Never eat the

460
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 2: plane food, right, so you're stomach.

461
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 1: Yes, but I was unwell flagged.

462
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:22,160
Speaker 2: Yes, it was rough, dehydrated. The elevation of the air

463
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 2: dehydrates the body.

464
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,720
Speaker 1: Absolutely. Absolutely. I had my eye makeup on from the

465
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 1: show at the wedding.

466
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 2: Amazing.

467
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 1: I watched around my face and I was like, I'm

468
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:38,640
Speaker 1: too tired, and guess what I did. I basically missed

469
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 1: my friend walking down the aisle, but I made it.

470
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 1: So what happened is my friends, my friends in New

471
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 1: York were basically like, she's not going to make her flight.

472
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 1: She drank too much, I think, and she's not gonna

473
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 1: make the flight. And I heard my friend calling another

474
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 1: friend who was a flight attendant, not on my plane,

475
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,880
Speaker 1: but it was very caring. It was like, I don't

476
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 1: think she's going to be able to get on a flight,

477
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:00,359
Speaker 1: and I was like, yes, I.

478
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 2: I'm I'm realizing I misheard the story. I thought the

479
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 2: drinks were at the wedding, but the drinks are the

480
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 2: after party. Four birth birthday.

481
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:09,919
Speaker 1: And then and then Karen and I said to the

482
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:14,520
Speaker 1: flight attendant as I was bording Captain as I said,

483
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:22,640
Speaker 1: I thought this was my seat daddy, So I said

484
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,400
Speaker 1: to the flight attendant boarding, I was like, so it's

485
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,119
Speaker 1: my birthday and I'm still a little drunk from the

486
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 1: night before, or did I say? I was like, I'm hungover,

487
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 1: and then it was in the sky said I think

488
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:35,679
Speaker 1: I'm drunk still. But anyway, but it was like to

489
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 1: be like, can I sit down immediately? I need to

490
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,679
Speaker 1: sit down, which is why I was telling her. But

491
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 1: then I barely I missed my friend walking down the aisle.

492
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 1: But anyway, I get to the thing and they were like,

493
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 1: you were on TV yesterday. That's that.

494
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,200
Speaker 2: Like the planes, planes, plan planes.

495
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 1: But they also were like, do you want me to sing?

496
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: Should be saying happy birthday to you? And I was

497
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 1: like at your wedding.

498
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:03,639
Speaker 2: Of course, I picture you showing up like graduate style,

499
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:13,399
Speaker 2: like in the glass window, like it is there, it

500
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:15,439
Speaker 2: is and maybe there's more. I don't know, but my

501
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 2: work here.

502
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:20,359
Speaker 1: Is again you get the podcast here, there's so many

503
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,719
Speaker 1: natural stop points. When we were approaching, but I was like, no,

504
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 1: you're not going to sing happy birthday to me at

505
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 1: your wedding. Sure, and and then there are you? Sure?

506
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 1: And I was like, if you really want to, for you,

507
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 1: but I don't need to be a part of the

508
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 1: wedding in that fashion. I'm going to get many birthdays

509
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:37,639
Speaker 1: in theory, you get one wedding.

510
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:42,160
Speaker 2: I pray, yeah, Manuel, Miranda gave me drinks last night.

511
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:46,479
Speaker 2: I don't need your birthday song on your birthday. You're

512
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 2: good friends. I mean my birthday birthday? Where's the cap?

513
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 2: Then that was where's my making my carry on five back?

514
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,160
Speaker 1: Really imagine me getting kicked out the plane.

515
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,640
Speaker 2: Second as you're saying that, like the second you told

516
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:06,679
Speaker 2: a story where you engaged with the stewardess. We live

517
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 2: in a time where I was like, could have been

518
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,640
Speaker 2: a could have been an aisle video from two seats.

519
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:16,399
Speaker 1: Back upon boarding. I don't I know what my intent

520
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 1: was to just be like I need to sit down.

521
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 1: I know this is not my time to get on

522
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 1: the but you have no idea what it took to

523
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:26,680
Speaker 1: get here. I'm here. My friend's trying to rebook my flight. Anyway,

524
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:27,400
Speaker 1: you did.

525
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 2: This a lot, I did it a lot.

526
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 1: Did Okay? Did this is a dumb question and you

527
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 1: can say as much.

528
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 2: How can we open door? It is kind of dumb question.

529
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,400
Speaker 2: It depends on the handle. Yeah, so I.

530
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 1: Took that whole lead into ask that dumb dumb girl.

531
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,760
Speaker 1: Dumb dumb girl. But I mean in an endaring way.

532
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is a lyric. It's lyrics dumb dumb dum

533
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 2: He's a dumb dumb girl. He's like a Lily Allen song.

534
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:58,600
Speaker 2: We should, we should really work, you will work. Let's collab.

535
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 1: They put a on your relationship surely right, had to have.

536
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. Oh absolutely, And like define strain because

537
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 2: it's like just stamina strain, emotional brain because there's that

538
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 2: thing of it's a very I think you appreciate with

539
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:21,400
Speaker 2: that job. It's a very different like state of existence mentally. Yeah,

540
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 2: And to come back and suddenly want to make up

541
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,199
Speaker 2: for lost time and be present was certainly a challenge

542
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,960
Speaker 2: for me. And like, if I'm being completely honest and

543
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 2: I will for you, please do it. Wanting to be

544
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 2: celebrated a little bit like I just accomplished a thing

545
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 2: and feeling like where people who were childless and single

546
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 2: got to kind of at least celebrate themselves or go

547
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,680
Speaker 2: on vacation or like it was like back to real

548
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 2: world responsibilities. So that was my side of it. Kobe's

549
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,160
Speaker 2: working full time here with a one year old child,

550
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:55,120
Speaker 2: and we were, you know, privileged enough to have help,

551
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 2: and my family's all here and chipped in, which was

552
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:03,439
Speaker 2: a blessing. But she's also like, yeah, this is not

553
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 2: time for you to take victory lap is for us,

554
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 2: time for us to come together. So it would be

555
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 2: it'd be like I'd say, a full day of you're

556
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,920
Speaker 2: just it's momentum and you you do miss each other,

557
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 2: so it's fine. That first day is like, Hi, yeah,

558
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 2: how are you? Oh? I missed you great, Yeah, and

559
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 2: then you wake up the next morning it's like, are

560
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 2: you gonna make the breakfast? I just because I'm a

561
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 2: New York time and you, oh, you worked the whole time,

562
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:31,359
Speaker 2: You made all the breakfasts the last three or three weeks. Yeah.

563
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 2: And that's like a very small example, but it's a

564
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 2: lot of that. And pretty early on we knew like

565
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 2: we should we should have a third party help us

566
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 2: talk through this and just and really like what was

567
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 2: so great about it was there was no solution. There

568
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 2: was no like fit like do this and it won't happen. Like, no,

569
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 2: that all makes sense. Yeah, but here's here are like

570
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 2: some language skills to talk about it with each other

571
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,200
Speaker 2: without making it a bigger thing, without activating a bigger fight,

572
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 2: a bigger resentment.

573
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 1: That's so smart though, to have that third party coming,

574
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:05,840
Speaker 1: because what unique circumstances, Because I think anybody like working

575
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 1: working at us and L Yeah you're saying like you're

576
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 1: saying is you're in such a different brain state and

577
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:15,400
Speaker 1: it's such a different unique schedule and the challenges and

578
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: the the victories all of it all at once and

579
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 1: processing that all the time, and you're just you get

580
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 1: so accustomed to it. Yeah, being in it, you kind

581
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: of start to not know any different. But then you

582
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 1: see people who don't work there, You're like, Okay, you're

583
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 1: on a different plane than I.

584
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 2: And so barbecue at eleven on a Sunday? Are what

585
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 2: are you talking ABOUTE? Are you making fun of me?

586
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 1: I know I'm offended by you. And so the notion

587
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 1: that you had that and a one year old and

588
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 1: your your family was here in Los Angeles, I'm like,

589
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 1: I can only imagine. But don't you feel like having

590
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 1: gone through that with Kobe? And I don't want to

591
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 1: put words in your mouth. I can just only imagine

592
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: having gone through that you feel and gotten through it successfully.

593
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 1: I feel like you guys can do anything as a team,

594
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 1: because that's what I'm immediately like, that's the child that's

595
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 1: a gigantic challenge.

596
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 2: Without a doubt. Yeah, we did a lot of things

597
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 2: kind of in We met when we were really young.

598
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 2: We met the week before our twenty third birthdays. We're

599
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 2: born two days apart, same year.

600
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 1: Oh wow, it's.

601
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 4: So cute, And like she had significant deaths in the

602
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 4: family within the first year, and then she had some

603
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 4: really major health stuff that she's talked about publicly, and

604
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 4: like we went through that together and weren't sure if

605
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 4: we were going to be able to have kids, and

606
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 4: then our first kid was like sort of this miraculous

607
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 4: surprise and like great ways, but also very stressful with

608
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 4: and like so we did and and we're very very

609
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 4: lucky and fortunate in career early on, you know, so

610
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 4: like we did so much of life backwards.

611
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we're really looking forward to like our fifties. Yeah,

612
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 2: Like it's just like river cruises, you know what I mean,

613
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 2: Like it's just like seeing the world and so yeah, yeah,

614
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 2: I to your point, that's exactly right. Like we've done

615
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 2: these hurdles that we've been through, we're pretty like locked in. Yeah,

616
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 2: it feels nice. There's a nice security.

617
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 1: How does it? Yeah, how a secure comes to mind immediately,

618
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: But how does it feel to have met your person

619
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: at twenty three?

620
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 2: It's surreal sometimes, like it is. It's like especially I'm

621
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 2: forty three. So we've been together a little over twenty

622
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 2: years now, and and we talk about that a lot.

623
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 2: What were we watching? We were watching a show. Oh,

624
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 2: it's so dumb. We're watching wonder Man, which is great. Okay, great,

625
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 2: have you seen it now? Okay? But the minor spoiler

626
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 2: he reconnects with an X later in the series, and

627
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 2: like kind of the intention of the scene is like

628
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 2: he's still incapable of like hearing her. He's oh, he's

629
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 2: so self focused. But the idea of checking back in

630
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 2: with an X is like Kobe and I have like

631
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,520
Speaker 2: one each and like do not talk to them? Yeah,

632
00:31:56,560 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 2: And it was like childhood X is really you know, Yeah,

633
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 2: and that's a really weird element. Yes, you're like don't

634
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 2: know this, yeah, yeah, and I remember, I remember. This

635
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 2: is a funny like SNL story, But I remember Ben

636
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 2: Stiller was hosting and he's like getting it there and

637
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 2: he's like, oh you are you in a relationship or

638
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 2: whatever and shared my story and I was like, yeah,

639
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 2: it's interesting to be around this. I can't I can't help,

640
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 2: but like, you know, sort of not fantasized, but do

641
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 2: the hypothetical of like imagine if you were single and

642
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 2: this thing's happening, and like like how exciting but also

643
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 2: how challenging and how like all the pitfalls of it

644
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:37,560
Speaker 2: but all the like advantage of it as perceived through

645
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 2: someone not fully experiencing that way yea. And it was

646
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 2: very helpful advice. Ben was like, you're not missing anything.

647
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 1: I think he's right. Yeah, I can tell you from

648
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 1: having dated yes in my twenties. Yeah, it's a jungle

649
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 1: out there. So it's really huge to have met your person,

650
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 1: regardless of the circumstance that you know, the snl of it,

651
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 1: which is this incredibly unique thing that makes it a

652
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 1: different you're whatever age, a different experience than what might

653
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 1: be the typical experience at that age point. Is it's

654
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 1: a jungle out there. And I think it's so cool

655
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 1: that you guys found each other when you.

656
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 2: Did we've I think she says, she's on the same page.

657
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 2: But we feel very lucky. We feel very very fortunate

658
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 2: because we're also like generationally right on the cusp of

659
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 2: the online of the app, like we like, I think

660
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 2: I actually filled out like a match dot Com profile

661
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,479
Speaker 2: at like twenty one, twenty two years old. Ye, but

662
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 2: missed that whole Yeah, lucky universe. Yeah, which is wild,

663
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 2: like getting to play on friends like Riyah accounts and

664
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 2: the swipe of it all and that they like, Yeah,

665
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 2: there's something so addict like someone who likes games like

666
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 2: this so addictive.

667
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 1: Yes, dating is so gamified now that it's not though

668
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 1: the initial in my opinion, the initial thing that dating

669
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 1: apps were created for, which was like to connect people,

670
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 1: to get people in relationship with people they might not

671
00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 1: otherwise meet in the world. Yeah, now just become this.

672
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 1: It's a game.

673
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 2: It's a game.

674
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 1: It's like Temple Run on your front. It's candy Crush. Yeah,

675
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,919
Speaker 1: no one collect right, I have some I have a

676
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 1: friend who just got on a dating app and she's like,

677
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 1: no one's talking on and I go, yeah, girl, that's

678
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 1: what it's like. Yeah, it's just the swiping, it's looking

679
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 1: at new faces. It's going. Good to know you exist. Yeah,

680
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 1: I'll say yes, you say yes to me. Good to

681
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:26,200
Speaker 1: know that we both think each other is attracted. Yeah,

682
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 1: and that's enough there And I will not contact you.

683
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 1: You will not contact me, and we're onto the next face.

684
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 2: Are you still? Friends and family? Is the preference of

685
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 2: meeting prospective partners?

686
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 1: Get well, I'm in a relationship. You are glory to

687
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:41,799
Speaker 1: be glory to God.

688
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 2: God is good.

689
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 1: God is good way all the time.

690
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:45,959
Speaker 2: God is good all of the time.

691
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:51,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, I came, I went, I saw, I conquered, et cetera. Yes,

692
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 1: so I feel very happy to be out of the game.

693
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 1: But it is it's shocking, what's what's going on?

694
00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:57,600
Speaker 2: But I do.

695
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,640
Speaker 1: I am a proponent of friends and family in real life.

696
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 2: And that I think what I like was leaning into

697
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,359
Speaker 2: is you saying the dating in your twenties and I

698
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 2: have to believe you're not that far outside of them.

699
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 2: But yeah, but how successful was your app experience? Like

700
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 2: was their success? Was there like personal deep profet like

701
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 2: real success for you through that or was it always

702
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 2: like this is a fun side thing and all experience

703
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 2: it because that's what's happening in the world. But the

704
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 2: real the real hunt is friends, family, personal.

705
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: So I think there was success in that it was

706
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,279
Speaker 1: like I did meet people who were attractive. I went

707
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 1: on dates with people who were interesting, some of whom

708
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,560
Speaker 1: I liked. I know I have friends who are like

709
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 1: married to people they met on dating yehs. Yeah, and

710
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:47,920
Speaker 1: they're wonderful and wonderful, beautiful relationships. For me, the preference,

711
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 1: and I think, to be honest too, I think for

712
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:52,319
Speaker 1: a lot of people I know, so it's not this

713
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 1: unique thing about me where I'm like, the preference for

714
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:56,920
Speaker 1: me is family, friends, and meeting in real life. I'm like,

715
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 1: I think most people that I know at least are like, oh,

716
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 1: I'd love to meet someone in real life. Yeah, And

717
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 1: I think dating apps can be so useful. Yet I

718
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 1: think there was there was like a sweet spot in

719
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 1: their creation. I think where it was still like, hey,

720
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 1: the thing we created this for is our primary purpose

721
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,320
Speaker 1: and our goal, and we don't feel like an effective

722
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 1: app if people aren't meeting and dating. I think that

723
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 1: My sense is that the creators of the apps felt

724
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 1: that at one point and now have transitioned to a

725
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,280
Speaker 1: like whatever the game swipe on these faces?

726
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 2: Well, there's like subsets now right where like you have

727
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 2: your app brand, like we are the relationship brand or

728
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 2: we are the hookup brand? Yes, like yeah, the optimist

729
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:41,439
Speaker 2: in me like again, romanticizes is maybe the right word,

730
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 2: Like oh, interesting to be able to skip ahead a

731
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:48,400
Speaker 2: few steps. Yeah, that is a very alluring element of

732
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 2: app dating to me. Of like, I know they like

733
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,760
Speaker 2: haja you clowns y, like that would be a detail

734
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,760
Speaker 2: that I put in right now to go like, Okay,

735
00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 2: we're the right kind of person for each other. But

736
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:00,759
Speaker 2: it was nice.

737
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I definitely see the value in that

738
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 1: there is you. It takes out some of the guessing

739
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:07,360
Speaker 1: that I feel like people who like don't want to

740
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,359
Speaker 1: get rejected. But the thing is you can still get

741
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 1: rejected on an app, which I feel like could somehow

742
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 1: feel worse maybe, but I'm not sure. What were the

743
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,359
Speaker 1: steps for you and your wife though getting to know

744
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:18,839
Speaker 1: each other?

745
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 2: It was like did you.

746
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 1: Ask her out?

747
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,799
Speaker 2: Yeah? I was really sweet. It was really it was

748
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 2: through a friend and like it was just like showbiz friends,

749
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 2: where I'd shot a pilot with a Canadian and actor

750
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:35,399
Speaker 2: who kind of indirect didn't introduce us, thinking we would

751
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 2: be a thing. Yeah, and then we like reconnected a

752
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 2: party a month later and really hit it off and

753
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 2: it was pretty fast. It was really it was really fast,

754
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 2: Like I got her number that night. I called the

755
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 2: next morning at eleven age love it like, I just

756
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 2: am you're a game not cool in that way. Okay,

757
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 2: it's not I don't have that kind.

758
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,799
Speaker 1: Of Okay, I think that's good. It served you well.

759
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 2: I have like a like a two eager, like my

760
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 2: sort of fanboying bleeds very directly into my relationship. Was like,

761
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 2: I like, you can I collect all of you?

762
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 1: Yeah?

763
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 2: Can I be skin? And so I called. I had

764
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 2: to leave a voicemail. Voicemails on answering machines or this

765
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 2: thing where you had a separate device. Yeah, explain to

766
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 2: some of the listens. I did have an answering machine

767
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 2: in my in my shared apartment with Mikey day.

768
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 1: Prince, who has done the podcast as well.

769
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 2: Okay, amazing, great company. Well it's funny being here. Were

770
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 2: you an iOS person?

771
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 1: Do you ever perform uc maybe had been to?

772
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, but but iOS right down the block

773
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 2: here and Mikey wrote like a comedy play called After

774
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 2: School Special that we did once a week for like

775
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 2: three months at iOS. So the parking on the street

776
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 2: is very very nostalgia. Yeah, but yeah, called her. She

777
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:53,880
Speaker 2: called me back. I of course it was like, you know,

778
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 2: an hour later and I missed it.

779
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 1: Can I hear? What the what the do you remember

780
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:57,280
Speaker 1: the voicemail?

781
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:02,840
Speaker 2: And it's important because it was a dumb joke and

782
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:06,280
Speaker 2: so that you like, and then you'd hear the person's

783
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 2: reaction to it before they left the message. And there's

784
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:12,000
Speaker 2: two other great significant ones. And I'll tell you what

785
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 2: the message was. First it was, Hi, you've reached spider man.

786
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 2: I mean Tarren killim average old tarryn kill him. And

787
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:25,160
Speaker 2: the two messages, like, there's a really nice one. When

788
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 2: I got hired on SNL, Bill Hayter called on and

789
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,359
Speaker 2: he's like, man, that's funny, hey Terran. Actually it could

790
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 2: be a good sketch. It's Bill Hayter excited to work

791
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 2: with you, and like that meant the world. Yeah, the

792
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 2: best one that I kept the tape for a long time.

793
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 2: But then I think just moving in time. I had

794
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 2: booked a massage at Burke Williams SPAW. I called to

795
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 2: confirm the appointment and I checked my message too weirdo, Hi,

796
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,840
Speaker 2: this is Carol with Burke Williams spaw calling to confirm

797
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,720
Speaker 2: your massage for two pm tomorrow afternoon.

798
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 1: Weirdo.

799
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:08,719
Speaker 2: She was not wrong. Carol was not wrong. Williams bougie. Yeah.

800
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 2: And Kobe's message was, Hey, Taren, it's Kobe calling you back.

801
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:15,879
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, just from that little laugh,

802
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,960
Speaker 2: that little chuckle, I'm in called her back again. Okay,

803
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 2: this message. I left her one first. She called again.

804
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 2: I missed her call, she left, got response, called her

805
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 2: right back. She picked up, talked on the phone for

806
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 2: an hour, said it came up in conversation. The next

807
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 2: day was Sunday, was Easter Sunday, and I said I'm

808
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 2: responsible for bringing a dessert and she's like, that's crazy.

809
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:42,040
Speaker 2: I'm going to a thing and I have to bring

810
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 2: the dessert. What are you going to bring? And I

811
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 2: said I was gonna make brownies. Do you want to

812
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 2: do that together? Wow? So I went over to her apartment.

813
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 2: She wanted to do the box yeah. I said no, no, no, no,

814
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:54,280
Speaker 2: we're going from scratch.

815
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 1: OK.

816
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 2: Really cute moment where she's like, do you dare me

817
00:40:58,200 --> 00:40:59,880
Speaker 2: to try the unsweet and chocolate?

818
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:00,640
Speaker 1: Like do it?

819
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 2: And like it was terrible and we laughed and no

820
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 2: funny business. Good part of my game at this point,

821
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:12,440
Speaker 2: young man Terren's game. This was my game, okay. Very

822
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:19,080
Speaker 2: strategic was to bring some sort of comedic media that

823
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,320
Speaker 2: was important to me that I had seen a million

824
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:24,360
Speaker 2: times and kind of gauge the sense of humor.

825
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:25,400
Speaker 1: Oh, I like to do that.

826
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 2: Yes, brought over Borat seasons one and two on DVD.

827
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 2: She had never seen them. Well, I guess it's Dolly

828
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:35,200
Speaker 2: g show. Yes, Yes, one and two. We watched them.

829
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,720
Speaker 2: She's laughing. It's gonna good. It's this shall proceed.

830
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 1: Okay.

831
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:42,239
Speaker 2: She goes to the restroom. She has to do she

832
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 2: has to do the table read for the pilot of

833
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,400
Speaker 2: How I Met Your Mother the next or no, no, no,

834
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 2: it's Easter. She's like got to get up for Easter.

835
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,800
Speaker 2: And then that Monday she's doing the table read pilots.

836
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:55,560
Speaker 2: Like good luck. She goes back. When she comes out,

837
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,920
Speaker 2: and I'm like horny young man, like, well, I mean

838
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 2: it's getting late, I should you should probably head out?

839
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 2: She goes, yeah, you probably should. It's like cool project dd,

840
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:13,759
Speaker 2: careful no scratches, place into covers, slide into sleep. And

841
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 2: but we'd made a plan for our first date that

842
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 2: Monday night. Okay, cable read okay, and we went. I

843
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:23,479
Speaker 2: took her to a place called four and twenty, which

844
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 2: had really good tortilla soup.

845
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:26,400
Speaker 1: They don't exist anymore.

846
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 2: I don't think they do. They were on There was

847
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,880
Speaker 2: one on Laurel Canyon. There was one Insu Pulvita, but

848
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:32,799
Speaker 2: I think it might be gone. And then we went

849
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,359
Speaker 2: to the Sherman Oaks Mini golf Course. Fun and yeah,

850
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:37,280
Speaker 2: I went mini golfing.

851
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: Oh cute.

852
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:39,879
Speaker 2: It was really cute. It's really cute. Wow.

853
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 1: And the rest is history.

854
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 2: This is history. Although I broke up with her a

855
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 2: year into our relationship.

856
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:46,360
Speaker 1: The rest was not history.

857
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 2: I broke up with her for forty eight hours.

858
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 1: Why tell me?

859
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:50,800
Speaker 2: Panic?

860
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,520
Speaker 1: So this is you are now twenty four years old.

861
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:54,320
Speaker 2: This is correct.

862
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:57,279
Speaker 1: You and you panic? You break up with her. I

863
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 1: need to know why you guys do this.

864
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:02,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I'm house sitting for my manager at the

865
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:05,879
Speaker 2: time she comes over. We get into one. We get

866
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 2: into like like we're not big fighters, we're like frustrated arguers,

867
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 2: but we're not. We don't there's no blow ups, but

868
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 2: it was just another like we weren't on the same page,

869
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,399
Speaker 2: and I said, you know what, and I and what's

870
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 2: dwelling in the back of my mind is like, okay,

871
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:22,400
Speaker 2: well this feels like it's gonna be it, and like

872
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 2: twenty four and this is gonna be it. I'm not

873
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:27,479
Speaker 2: ready to be done. I shouldn't. I should not be ready.

874
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 2: This society tells me yes.

875
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 1: Society, twenty yes, surely yes.

876
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,919
Speaker 2: And I say, I just I'm not happy. I don't

877
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 2: think this is working. And I break her heart and

878
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 2: she cry and I can still see her face and

879
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 2: it may.

880
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 1: Oh, I have chills.

881
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:43,759
Speaker 2: I'm it makes it makes me so sad to like

882
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 2: I can see her face. But but I do it,

883
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:47,959
Speaker 2: and I rip off the band aid and I've got

884
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 2: like another you know, thirty six hours house sitting in

885
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 2: this house is not mine. I'm alone. My friend comes over.

886
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 2: I see Annie Hall for the first time. I'm sobbing

887
00:43:56,680 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 2: at it. I return to my crappy apartment. Kobe has

888
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 2: removed every trace of her from my apartment and cleaned

889
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 2: like folded bed, scrubbed, shower, smells of like bleach, you know, like,

890
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,759
Speaker 2: and wrote me this email that was like, here's why

891
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:14,439
Speaker 2: I thought we worked, Here's where I thought we were.

892
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:16,840
Speaker 2: It makes me so sad to know that we weren't

893
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:18,760
Speaker 2: on the same page, and I just I need space

894
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:20,120
Speaker 2: from you because I don't think this is a thing

895
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 2: where I can get friends. And I start, I cry,

896
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 2: I grab my keys, I drive over to her house.

897
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 2: I was literally like less than forty eight hours and

898
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 2: I go in and I'm a wreck, and I'm like,

899
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And I was like

900
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:34,319
Speaker 2: I was as truthful as I could be at that time,

901
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 2: because the real real was like I don't want to

902
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 2: be done having sex with other people. I think was

903
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 2: the basic truth. Yeah, And I couldn't say that. It

904
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:43,400
Speaker 2: was just like I'm scared because I thought that it

905
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 2: feels like this could be it, and I don't know

906
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 2: if I'm ready for it to be it, you know,

907
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 2: not saying nothing I have since, and like, obviously I'm

908
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 2: willing to on a very public podcast, but kind of

909
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 2: the promise that I made to her, which has been

910
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 2: the essence of our relationship since, is that What I

911
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 2: do know is that, as as an immature man, I've

912
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 2: been in this relationship trying to protect myself. How will

913
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 2: it end? Who will break it? And how do I

914
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 2: save myself from feeling hurt when it does. So that's

915
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 2: part of this. And even in these two days of

916
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 2: not being with you, the idea of not being with

917
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:22,320
Speaker 2: you makes me so much more unhappy than the fact

918
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 2: that my worry is we might be happy the rest

919
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 2: of our lives. Yeah. So if you, if you can

920
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 2: find it in your heart to forgive me, I will

921
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 2: dedicate to you right now, I'll be in this relationship

922
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 2: that it will work, and I will do everything in

923
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:39,239
Speaker 2: my power to make it work until should a time

924
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 2: come that's out of our control where it doesn't feel right.

925
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 2: But that's how I will engage in this relationship. And

926
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 2: that helped, but it still took time. She still is like,

927
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:49,799
Speaker 2: and will see you. We'll see Yeah, because what a

928
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:53,280
Speaker 2: fucking blind so shitty, what a shitty, what a twenty

929
00:45:53,320 --> 00:46:00,160
Speaker 2: four panicky, immature, emotional like, erratic and irresponsible response to

930
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,240
Speaker 2: this person who's so wonderful.

931
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 1: Yeah wow, if you get broken up with you better

932
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 1: clean clean the apartment, clean the apartment, or you.

933
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 2: Should hit the road and had to.

934
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 1: Another time.

935
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:16,600
Speaker 2: Another time.

936
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 1: No, you, Honestly I appreciate how evolved though even having

937
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:25,800
Speaker 1: done that, and you, you being the perpetrator of the crime.

938
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:29,320
Speaker 2: Oh, God of full mess yeah, full mess up.

939
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 1: Forty eight hours later, though you are you were like, wait,

940
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 1: I have to I know what's actually going on with me.

941
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:39,040
Speaker 1: I'm going to say the like the massage version of this.

942
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,400
Speaker 1: I'm going to say the massage version of this to

943
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 1: this person.

944
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:46,319
Speaker 2: Yes, he was just saying I want to have.

945
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 1: Sex with other people. Yes, that which is good. I

946
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:53,080
Speaker 1: think that you did it, especially at that time. So

947
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:56,360
Speaker 1: where did you that kind of like emotional intelligence. I

948
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 1: think you demonstrated in that moment forty eight hours after

949
00:46:58,760 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 1: breaking her.

950
00:46:59,200 --> 00:46:59,960
Speaker 2: It's very nice.

951
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 1: Do you think that that came from. Were you in

952
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: therapy on your own at the point?

953
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 2: I no, no, No, SNL drove me to individual therapy,

954
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 2: couples and individual therapy. No, I mean my parent. What

955
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 2: my parents did very well, like what they did. The

956
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 2: best I would say is like is being vulnerable. Like

957
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,759
Speaker 2: I had a dad who said, a real man can

958
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 2: say I love you do another man and a real

959
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:28,239
Speaker 2: man can cry and show their feeling talk about their feelings.

960
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 2: And I think that that was him sort of like

961
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:34,960
Speaker 2: breaking the cycle of his his family and his upbringing

962
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:38,720
Speaker 2: and my mom very you know, both giving unconditional love.

963
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,279
Speaker 2: I witnessed a lot of sacrifice from both of them

964
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:46,360
Speaker 2: to care for five kids, so that it's a strong foundation.

965
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:50,240
Speaker 2: It's a strong foundation, and and I needed that because

966
00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:53,680
Speaker 2: I think, like I think, I think the nurture really

967
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:56,640
Speaker 2: outweighed a lot of nature. Just like being a dumb

968
00:47:56,719 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 2: dumb boy, just a dumb dumb boy.

969
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,479
Speaker 1: Are you going to give yourself grace? Because that worked

970
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 1: out and I think you were able to turn it

971
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:06,880
Speaker 1: around forty eight hours later? Have you seen this story?

972
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 1: Just and I never do this when I'm so fascinated

973
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 1: by the olympian who I don't know what sport it

974
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 1: was biathlon. He did the biathlon. He's a by athlete. Okay,

975
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 1: in the current the current Olympicskay, he won. I think

976
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:25,360
Speaker 1: he represents he's representing Norway. And when they went to

977
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 1: speak to him post game, he was like, yeah, this

978
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 1: is a big moment, but honestly, six months ago I

979
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 1: met the love of my life. But he's like the

980
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 1: big He's like, the bigger moment is that six months

981
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:37,879
Speaker 1: ago I met the love of my life and three

982
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 1: months ago I had decided to cheat on her. So

983
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 1: if she can find it, oh my god, yes you

984
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:48,719
Speaker 1: can always guys, okay, yes, yeah.

985
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:54,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh no, what's the take. I'm so shell shocked

986
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:57,280
Speaker 2: by it. But I'm like, get out, here's my issue

987
00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:00,000
Speaker 2: with it. Just hearing it for the first time. Yeah,

988
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 2: that's not a public issue, right, that's a private issue,

989
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:06,359
Speaker 2: and man up privately and handle that. But by doing

990
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 2: it publicly in this, you're trying to dilute the crime

991
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:11,279
Speaker 2: of something.

992
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:15,040
Speaker 1: About it felt not quite right and since yeah, it

993
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 1: feels and even if it is sincere, it's like, this

994
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:19,359
Speaker 1: is not the choice. In my I'm kind of like, no, no,

995
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 1: don't do this, don't do it this way. I think,

996
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 1: who knows what people? She told you cheated on her now,

997
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:28,880
Speaker 1: like she's been being humiliated again.

998
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:31,440
Speaker 2: So he's phrasing it in a way that he had

999
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 2: come clean already. He was not breaking it to her

1000
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:36,440
Speaker 2: postgame intervene, so I was.

1001
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 1: Just reading articles too, so I didn't hear him actually

1002
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 1: do it, but it was like, I don't think but regardless,

1003
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:44,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, private issue. Yeah, and it feels like putting

1004
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:46,239
Speaker 1: her in a corner of like the pressure's on you

1005
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:47,800
Speaker 1: got to take me back the whole world.

1006
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 2: That's not okay, that's it feels like a mild even

1007
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:57,240
Speaker 2: if on the surface well intentioned abuse of power.

1008
00:49:57,560 --> 00:50:00,359
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yes, I think that's a great way to put it,

1009
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 1: even if well intentioned, an abusive power, because she doesn't

1010
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 1: get to be out of mic at the.

1011
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:10,320
Speaker 2: Now, she's got a train for three years, her cardio.

1012
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 1: Who knows, she might be babysports like me.

1013
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 2: Like well, curling, I guess seems sort of like the

1014
00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 2: easiest option for me. Scrub and ice. Two years of

1015
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:22,120
Speaker 2: scrub and ice. So then maybe I can go back

1016
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:27,439
Speaker 2: and say so proud and no, no, not.

1017
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:30,359
Speaker 1: Taking you back, not happening. So listen, I think you're

1018
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 1: handling a bit. I wasn't there, but you and Kobe alreadgether.

1019
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:35,879
Speaker 1: You have two beautiful girls. I think that's fantastic.

1020
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:36,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's nice.

1021
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:40,239
Speaker 1: Are you friends with your daughters? Would you say yeah?

1022
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 2: I think so. I think the younger one would be

1023
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:46,640
Speaker 2: more forthcoming with that. I think I think my elder

1024
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 2: one would be like yeah, and wouldn't necessarily, but she's,

1025
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:52,200
Speaker 2: you know, sixteen and a half, and this is not

1026
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:55,239
Speaker 2: a time to have it's a very nut. It's it's

1027
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:58,640
Speaker 2: a trip to like be have a child of an

1028
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:01,239
Speaker 2: age where like I still have very clear memories of

1029
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 2: sixteen and a half. Yeah, like you know days, I

1030
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 2: can remember specific specific days and like, yeah, the idea

1031
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:09,960
Speaker 2: of hanging with your ear folks is not something I

1032
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:13,399
Speaker 2: would have sought out, But I think they like being

1033
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 2: around us. I think that that's the healthy amount, right,

1034
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 2: Like sometimes I will say, like, God, I just want

1035
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:20,399
Speaker 2: them to when they go out in the world, love

1036
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:21,879
Speaker 2: me and come back and be like they're my best

1037
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 2: friend when they talk about and Kobe Wiseley is like,

1038
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:27,759
Speaker 2: that's not hell, like not to not to detract and

1039
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:30,400
Speaker 2: no judgment on people who do feel that relationship like

1040
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:32,880
Speaker 2: they're my best friend. But that's not the ultimate goal.

1041
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 2: The ultimate goal, really speaking to the responsibility of being

1042
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 2: a parent, is they're happy with themselves, they're fulfilled themselves,

1043
00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 2: and they're seeking out what brings them joy. Yeah, and

1044
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:46,400
Speaker 2: it not having you as the best friend, as the

1045
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 2: number one friend. If they're healthy and well rounded and

1046
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 2: fulfilled and then you did your job and you gotta

1047
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 2: you gotta.

1048
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:55,400
Speaker 1: I think that's good. Yes, you did you know you

1049
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:56,640
Speaker 1: always wanted to be a parent.

1050
00:51:57,160 --> 00:52:01,040
Speaker 2: Yes, I was very romantic about it, and as I

1051
00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:03,919
Speaker 2: sort of hinted at earlier, our first was like kind

1052
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 2: of a bit of a surprise, and I was like, okay,

1053
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:09,480
Speaker 2: here we go. And Kobe was very pragmatic about it

1054
00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 2: and obviously her body and like she's like, oh man,

1055
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:15,919
Speaker 2: okay and really stressed and what is this going to mean?

1056
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:17,319
Speaker 2: And what do we need to set up? How do

1057
00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 2: we need to prepare? And I'm like, well, the kids.

1058
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 2: And the second we found out the gender, it switched

1059
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 2: really switched where there's something about it being female that

1060
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 2: Kobe like breathes a cigh of relief, and I suddenly

1061
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 2: was like, this is not how I envisioned things occurring,

1062
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:35,400
Speaker 2: and this is this is different. I'm in a different

1063
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,319
Speaker 2: reality now and what does this mean? And what do

1064
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:38,520
Speaker 2: I have to How am I yet?

1065
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:40,360
Speaker 1: Why do you think you reacted that way?

1066
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:46,080
Speaker 2: I think probably like ego narcissism, you know, an extension

1067
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:50,320
Speaker 2: extension of me like me, makes son son like Batman,

1068
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:53,360
Speaker 2: like dad like Batman and go to Ram's game and

1069
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:55,120
Speaker 2: He'll gonna be like, you're my best friend, but I'm

1070
00:52:55,160 --> 00:53:00,319
Speaker 2: fulfilled away from you, and that how Sun be into Yeah,

1071
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:05,799
Speaker 2: just the shattering of that fantasy, that full self, you know,

1072
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:09,759
Speaker 2: self protecting, building up fantasy and like there were, and

1073
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:13,279
Speaker 2: then just like the fricking science of the biology of it.

1074
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:16,640
Speaker 2: And I'm gonna get quite candid, but like holding your

1075
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:19,480
Speaker 2: baby daughter, and even though it was like, you know,

1076
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:21,480
Speaker 2: we were I think we were twenty seven when she

1077
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:24,200
Speaker 2: was born, so still earlier in life. But this is

1078
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:27,200
Speaker 2: the first vagina I am seeing in my life that

1079
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:31,400
Speaker 2: is not an object of sexual pursuit. Yeah, and it

1080
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 2: was a thing. It was like, this is this, I

1081
00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:38,080
Speaker 2: have to clean and care for this now and weird

1082
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:42,080
Speaker 2: and now we'll understand it better than I ever then

1083
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:45,600
Speaker 2: maybe I thought I did and clearly did not. Yeah,

1084
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 2: And that's you know, that one of a thousand different

1085
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:51,600
Speaker 2: variations of just the gender separation of it, you know,

1086
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:55,920
Speaker 2: like and then and then realizing like how much how

1087
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:58,640
Speaker 2: little gender does dictate, and like you can try, you know,

1088
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:02,919
Speaker 2: there's we did science kits and skateboards and whatever you want,

1089
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:05,879
Speaker 2: and there is princess E all through and through both

1090
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:09,120
Speaker 2: of them, but then moved away from that in their

1091
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 2: own ways and like very different ways, and they get

1092
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 2: along together, but like are their very own distinct personalities

1093
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:18,880
Speaker 2: and it's yeah, it's the best thing I will ever do.

1094
00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think you're alone in that experience. I

1095
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:28,040
Speaker 1: think it's a shared experience, and I just having a child,

1096
00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:31,440
Speaker 1: the notion all together and the way I think transforms

1097
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:34,920
Speaker 1: you having zero myself, I just have now been so

1098
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:40,359
Speaker 1: fascinated by the notion and how it impacts a man

1099
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:44,839
Speaker 1: versus a woman, and your expectation about what parenthood will

1100
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:47,319
Speaker 1: be versus what it then actually is, the ways it

1101
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:49,920
Speaker 1: matures you, the way it makes you see your crap.

1102
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 1: Fascinated by the whole endeavor.

1103
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 2: It is all of this. It changed so much of

1104
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:58,120
Speaker 2: my relationship to many, to the idea of parenting like

1105
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:02,840
Speaker 2: always kind of being you know, Norman Rockwellian about like

1106
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:07,240
Speaker 2: yes I shall and we shall, which was so impractical

1107
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 2: and just immature. Really, I think in this this sort

1108
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:15,480
Speaker 2: of softest, most grace filled version of it. But the

1109
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:19,759
Speaker 2: way it changed my identity to adoption was instantaneous. I

1110
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 2: was like, I was always kind of like I don't

1111
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:22,840
Speaker 2: know if I could like right away, I was like, oh, no,

1112
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:24,799
Speaker 2: this kid doesn't know me, and I don't know this.

1113
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 2: I have to get to know this kid. Yeah, and

1114
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:30,319
Speaker 2: and really yes, maybe, oh I see that we have

1115
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,759
Speaker 2: our eyes thing, but you are your own thing and

1116
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:34,879
Speaker 2: it's the time that I'm going to invest in you,

1117
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:38,440
Speaker 2: and it's that that we'll build this relationship. So that

1118
00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:41,799
Speaker 2: changed people who said kids are not for me.

1119
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:44,800
Speaker 1: I was always like, Okay, that's okay, Yeah, it's okay.

1120
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:49,799
Speaker 2: Into like, thank you for being so responsible, for knowing

1121
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:52,720
Speaker 2: yourself so well, for being fair to the world, for

1122
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:56,680
Speaker 2: being fair to this hypothetical not to exist child. Because

1123
00:55:56,719 --> 00:55:59,560
Speaker 2: it's hard. It is so hard. It's so to do

1124
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:01,440
Speaker 2: it in a way way that I think it deserves.

1125
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:04,160
Speaker 2: And this is just my own take on it. It's

1126
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:08,239
Speaker 2: really hard. It's really demanding and a lot of sacrifice.

1127
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:10,920
Speaker 1: I can only imagine. I can only imagine. And I

1128
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:14,560
Speaker 1: so get Kobe's reaction to having a kid too as

1129
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:16,560
Speaker 1: a woman, and you're like, what my body in my career?

1130
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:17,880
Speaker 2: What are you talking about?

1131
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:22,560
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, Taren, it's time for a segment called that's nice,

1132
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:27,560
Speaker 1: But what about me? And I suppose I want to ask.

1133
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think it will be really great for you.

1134
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 1: There's a few thing they're like swirling.

1135
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:34,520
Speaker 2: In my head, but we only get one.

1136
00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:36,400
Speaker 1: We only get one because I don't want to be greedy.

1137
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to be greedy because what about you though,

1138
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:43,960
Speaker 1: But the episode is about you and so okay, raising

1139
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 1: children in Los Angeles. You're from Los Angeles, your kids

1140
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:53,919
Speaker 1: are from Los Angeles. How do you keep them not Hollywood?

1141
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:56,360
Speaker 1: I mean, Ele is so much more than Hollywood, But

1142
00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:58,880
Speaker 1: how do you how do you keep them grounded?

1143
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:02,400
Speaker 2: How did you see? That comes down to values? Morality

1144
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:07,680
Speaker 2: and values And yeah, Kobe deserves again so much credit

1145
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:10,920
Speaker 2: for that. She's Canadian, so that's good balance. We were

1146
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 2: La and La family, but not not really. We were

1147
00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 2: like adjacent to showbiz families quite a bit. But just

1148
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:23,200
Speaker 2: the value system of find of status, of celebrity, of

1149
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:28,240
Speaker 2: notoriety have always It's something that Kobe and I bonded over.

1150
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:32,640
Speaker 2: It was like, we love art, we love performing, we

1151
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:35,320
Speaker 2: love telling story, we love playing characters, we love movies

1152
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 2: and TV. We love it and we love to do

1153
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 2: it and doing it at every level brings us joy.

1154
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:45,080
Speaker 2: Doing it for recognition really is not of interest to us,

1155
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:49,920
Speaker 2: and we do our best to be grateful for what

1156
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 2: success has come in professionally and knowing that the notoriety

1157
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:57,960
Speaker 2: the fame of it does go hand in hand a bit,

1158
00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:00,120
Speaker 2: and that you don't want to be like, hey, I

1159
00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:02,520
Speaker 2: love your work. I'm just leave me alone, you know,

1160
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:06,520
Speaker 2: Like that's unhealthy and self defeating a little bit. Yeah,

1161
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:08,760
Speaker 2: But so I think that that has been instilled in

1162
00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:11,400
Speaker 2: our kids, getting them out of town, getting them back

1163
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:14,200
Speaker 2: to cand of getting them into nature. Nature is so important.

1164
00:58:16,440 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 2: I don't know that I can say with full confidence

1165
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 2: there's not some sort of Hollywood showbiz jadedness, cynicism, aloofness,

1166
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:32,280
Speaker 2: take it for granted, but certainly not by their own

1167
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 2: doing and any sort of like spoiled behavior we would

1168
00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 2: immediately do our best to crack down on. Yeah, but yeah,

1169
00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 2: I think they just can't help but be partially a

1170
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:51,360
Speaker 2: byproduct of their like liberal showbiz, bubble city upbringing, you know. Yeah, yeah,

1171
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:53,160
Speaker 2: but but they have to work for things. They have

1172
00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:56,160
Speaker 2: to earn their you know, earn the chore money, like

1173
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 2: keep keep the chore money that they could you know.

1174
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:03,800
Speaker 2: So it's that and I think that's my answer to that.

1175
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:06,919
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be hon it. Like your question has me going,

1176
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 2: like I need to really check in with them and

1177
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:13,320
Speaker 2: see what do you what do you like? Keeping him

1178
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 2: off devices a lot. As part of that, our oldest

1179
00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 2: didn't get her first phone until she was fourteen. She's

1180
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:20,040
Speaker 2: really one of the last.

1181
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:21,520
Speaker 1: Years ago two and a half years ago.

1182
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:24,439
Speaker 2: Wow, okay, making it for lost time, but still there's

1183
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:28,920
Speaker 2: like put parameters on that and yeah, yeah, I don't know.

1184
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:31,040
Speaker 2: I don't know, but but I think the I think

1185
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:34,720
Speaker 2: the values of it is is key, okay, Like we

1186
00:59:34,760 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 2: want you to be kind, we want you to be kind,

1187
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:41,200
Speaker 2: we want you to be not self centered all the time.

1188
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 2: They think it's human nature to be a little self

1189
00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:45,000
Speaker 2: focused because you're born into yourself.

1190
00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:47,680
Speaker 1: You're not walking around the world as yourself exactly.

1191
00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:51,920
Speaker 2: But I think knowing like Kobe does, works at a

1192
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 2: soup kitchen every Tuesday, and she's taking shape to work

1193
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:58,520
Speaker 2: with her there and little little bits like that without

1194
00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:03,040
Speaker 2: without being too preachy about it, but yeah, just understanding it.

1195
01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:05,480
Speaker 2: We're lucky to be alive, We're lucky to share this

1196
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:07,479
Speaker 2: world and try to make it a little bit better.

1197
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:11,080
Speaker 1: That's good. What's top of mind is I know some

1198
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:15,360
Speaker 1: people who are having kids or have kids who lived

1199
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 1: in LA or do live and are like, I need

1200
01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:18,960
Speaker 1: to get out of here to raise the kids. So

1201
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:20,560
Speaker 1: I just it's an interesting thing.

1202
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:24,840
Speaker 2: I understand it. I understand it. Again, like Kobe and

1203
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 2: I have never never prioritized our career over them like

1204
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 2: that will never They will always be the number one priority,

1205
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:35,200
Speaker 2: and our alignment in that has what has made us

1206
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:39,040
Speaker 2: good co parents. Yeah, but I also understand, like, yeah,

1207
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:41,880
Speaker 2: get the hell out of it, because I like, I'll

1208
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:44,080
Speaker 2: ask my girls. We're not a religious family, but like,

1209
01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:45,440
Speaker 2: do you have any interest in like going to a

1210
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:48,080
Speaker 2: church to see what that's about, because I'm I do

1211
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:56,320
Speaker 2: anticipate some significant culture shock for both my children, college travel,

1212
01:00:56,440 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 2: whatever it is, Like I could see that coming. Yeah, yeah,

1213
01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:03,880
Speaker 2: in ways that they didn't even conceive. They're like, oh,

1214
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:06,000
Speaker 2: I am a city person.

1215
01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:08,160
Speaker 1: Right, It's true. I mean it's such a it's such

1216
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:11,680
Speaker 1: a diverse city and melting pot. But then there are

1217
01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:15,720
Speaker 1: these pockets of existence here that that do feel so insular.

1218
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:18,680
Speaker 1: And that's the yeah, the irony of it too.

1219
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:19,080
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1220
01:01:19,160 --> 01:01:22,560
Speaker 2: Yeah. But but in whatever little travel we get to do, you,

1221
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:24,240
Speaker 2: I mean, Kobe and I are always saying to each other,

1222
01:01:24,280 --> 01:01:26,920
Speaker 2: there's so many people in the world. There's so many

1223
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 2: different ways to live and experience this existence. Yeah, and

1224
01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:34,760
Speaker 2: I hope for our children to like go and really

1225
01:01:34,880 --> 01:01:37,120
Speaker 2: kind of expose themselves to that as much as possible.

1226
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm excited for them. You nudge them.

1227
01:01:40,600 --> 01:01:44,640
Speaker 2: Somewhere else to go to Canada. Are going to figure

1228
01:01:44,720 --> 01:01:48,680
Speaker 2: it out exactly. Ye're gonna be a cruising on a river,

1229
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:49,680
Speaker 2: cruising on the river.

1230
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:52,680
Speaker 1: I can see this for you. I'm manifesting for you

1231
01:01:52,720 --> 01:01:55,960
Speaker 1: as well. Okay, we have to help a listener to

1232
01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:58,960
Speaker 1: close out. Not just about me, it's not just about you.

1233
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:01,760
Speaker 1: It's about the listeners. You will listen to a voicemail.

1234
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:06,360
Speaker 6: Okay, great, Yeah, Hey, I go it's Zach. Thank you

1235
01:02:06,400 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 6: so much, Declan John's for answering my question. You know,

1236
01:02:09,240 --> 01:02:11,520
Speaker 6: I think you're right. I think it is all about

1237
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:14,200
Speaker 6: you know, putting in a little self care now and then,

1238
01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 6: which still lead me to a follow up question, which is,

1239
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:25,720
Speaker 6: what are those little acts of self care you know

1240
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:28,040
Speaker 6: help get you through those chores? You know what, what

1241
01:02:28,080 --> 01:02:30,120
Speaker 6: are the little treats you get for yourself or do

1242
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:31,800
Speaker 6: for yourself to.

1243
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:38,520
Speaker 2: Help, uh, you know, not fill the void, but at.

1244
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:41,640
Speaker 6: Least get you to that next moment. Thank you so much.

1245
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:43,480
Speaker 2: Bye, I'll let you in.

1246
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:49,320
Speaker 1: Sleep and water, Sleep and water, water, sleep, water, truly reading?

1247
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:50,439
Speaker 2: What are you reading?

1248
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:55,000
Speaker 1: I'm currently reading The Body Keeps the Score. Okay, okay,

1249
01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:59,400
Speaker 1: just finished reading You Are Here by David Nichols. It's

1250
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:01,960
Speaker 1: a fiction book. It's a romance novel, but it's like

1251
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:05,800
Speaker 1: really beautifully written. And I don't ever read fiction, but

1252
01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:08,160
Speaker 1: my my boyfriend gave it to me, and I'm lovely

1253
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:13,919
Speaker 1: good read. Uh yeah, I have to say. Yeah, that's

1254
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:18,200
Speaker 1: and I eat. I love to eat good meal. Bring

1255
01:03:18,280 --> 01:03:21,640
Speaker 1: me more to yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, that's.

1256
01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:23,000
Speaker 2: It, and yeah, order a pizza.

1257
01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:25,840
Speaker 1: Yeah it feels good to you because someone else might

1258
01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:28,200
Speaker 1: tell me. I have friends that like love the sauna

1259
01:03:28,280 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 1: and they like compression therapy, and I'm like that.

1260
01:03:30,880 --> 01:03:33,960
Speaker 2: Sure, that's cool. Yeah. There's these like neurotech boots you

1261
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:34,440
Speaker 2: can get to.

1262
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:37,160
Speaker 1: I don't own them, but I can go to like.

1263
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:38,840
Speaker 2: A self care spot and you sit there and it

1264
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:42,080
Speaker 2: and it squeezes and it helps for circulation. Squeeze the

1265
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:44,640
Speaker 2: ship out of your plates. You can do hips too.

1266
01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:48,560
Speaker 2: Is it a massage? Is it? Is it a vacation?

1267
01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:50,760
Speaker 2: Doesn't have to be an expensive vacation, But is it

1268
01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:54,880
Speaker 2: a or a walk through nature? I like water, yes,

1269
01:03:54,920 --> 01:03:57,080
Speaker 2: I love I love to like float. I love like

1270
01:03:57,440 --> 01:03:59,600
Speaker 2: to float in an ocean under the surface or like

1271
01:03:59,800 --> 01:04:01,840
Speaker 2: that is very peaceful to me.

1272
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:04,280
Speaker 1: Same, it's very calming water Are you a water sign

1273
01:04:04,880 --> 01:04:06,920
Speaker 1: a fire sign? Okay, so it makes no sense.

1274
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:14,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, what the heck? What what the heckser fire sign?

1275
01:04:14,240 --> 01:04:18,960
Speaker 2: Talking about a maga that's just that's just Magma rock.

1276
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:25,960
Speaker 1: Don't go together. Yeah, your maxine that you are bullshit. Okay,

1277
01:04:26,320 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 1: hopefully that's I love how you were answering that question

1278
01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:31,640
Speaker 1: though with a question, because I think the question begs

1279
01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:36,040
Speaker 1: the question. But Josh, it was three Josh, Josh was

1280
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:41,920
Speaker 1: answered last time with me. We're just days ago. Frankly back,

1281
01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:45,640
Speaker 1: I'm not a left Well, Josh was the guest that

1282
01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:46,440
Speaker 1: they were referring to.

1283
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:51,040
Speaker 2: Helped it was Zach. That's Zach. That was Zach just on.

1284
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:54,520
Speaker 1: The top, Yes, exactly, which by the way, I didn't

1285
01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 1: say it when we recorded, but to me and I

1286
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:01,920
Speaker 1: I tweeted this one. I had Twitter. The tweet did numbers,

1287
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:05,120
Speaker 1: and I really stand by this. To me, all Josh's

1288
01:05:05,120 --> 01:05:07,520
Speaker 1: could be Zach and Zax could be Josh's. And that's it.

1289
01:05:07,680 --> 01:05:10,800
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Teraron Killem for your job. I

1290
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:13,520
Speaker 1: believe it. Think about it. The best joshus and Zax

1291
01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:15,640
Speaker 1: could be anyway, I think it's the same name.

1292
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:19,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that that tracks so fine. So Zach find a

1293
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:21,400
Speaker 2: Josh and ask how they self care.

1294
01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:24,400
Speaker 1: I think it's the same name. Okay, all right, Derek,

1295
01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:26,080
Speaker 1: you are the best. Thank you for doing this.

1296
01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:26,920
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.

1297
01:05:27,480 --> 01:05:37,000
Speaker 1: Yay. That was my conversation with the lovely Terran Killim.

1298
01:05:37,040 --> 01:05:39,120
Speaker 1: You know him, you love him. I love him. You

1299
01:05:39,240 --> 01:05:41,160
Speaker 1: know him, I know him, you love him, we all

1300
01:05:41,200 --> 01:05:44,720
Speaker 1: love him. It was fun. I'm so glad. If you

1301
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:47,040
Speaker 1: want advice from me and my next guest, you simply

1302
01:05:47,040 --> 01:05:49,240
Speaker 1: have to call us. The number is five zero two

1303
01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:52,080
Speaker 1: eight four nine three two three seven five zero two

1304
01:05:52,120 --> 01:05:55,240
Speaker 1: eight four nine three two three seven five zero two.

1305
01:05:55,440 --> 01:05:59,200
Speaker 1: Thanks THHX. Dad's call us. We will do our best

1306
01:05:59,240 --> 01:06:02,960
Speaker 1: to help you. We are not licensed professionals. We mostly

1307
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:05,560
Speaker 1: don't know what we're talking about. But you can ask

1308
01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:08,040
Speaker 1: for advice. It'll be fun. There's a limit to the

1309
01:06:08,080 --> 01:06:09,520
Speaker 1: advice we can give. At some point you have to

1310
01:06:09,560 --> 01:06:11,680
Speaker 1: take the reins on your own life. And I believe

1311
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:13,280
Speaker 1: in you. I love you. I'll see you in the

1312
01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:18,000
Speaker 1: next one. Thanks Dad is a production of Will Ferrell's

1313
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:21,320
Speaker 1: Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. I'm Your Host, Aego

1314
01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:25,280
Speaker 1: wodem Our. Producer is Kevin Bartelt and our executive producer

1315
01:06:25,320 --> 01:06:26,280
Speaker 1: is Matt Appadaka,