1
00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:04,360
Speaker 1: What a chip he Hey, oh my god, I just

2
00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:07,360
Speaker 1: posted an Instagram story of me burning in fire because

3
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:13,680
Speaker 1: it's the Listener Emails podcast and guys, be nice jesus.

4
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,799
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, it's one of those things. I

5
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,480
Speaker 1: was like, well, I'm p m messing. Is this the

6
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,560
Speaker 1: mood where I asked for feedback? But I'm like, really like, no,

7
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:26,240
Speaker 1: only give me positive feedback. I mean that's all we

8
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:29,319
Speaker 1: really ever want, nobody really wants. But I try to

9
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,880
Speaker 1: be I do try to be open and not take

10
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:36,239
Speaker 1: things personal as much as I possibly can. Um. I

11
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,600
Speaker 1: you know, what I think is actually bothering me is

12
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,800
Speaker 1: a little bit of like close mindedness. So that's why

13
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,559
Speaker 1: I'm actually trying to listen to other people's opinions. But

14
00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:48,559
Speaker 1: I found a lot of the feedback we got this

15
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:52,080
Speaker 1: month in particular, was like, well I don't agree with that,

16
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:56,560
Speaker 1: but not not like, you know, go be you and

17
00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,160
Speaker 1: you do to you kind of mentality, but mostly like

18
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,960
Speaker 1: like a lot of feedback about the Jolie podcast. Yeah,

19
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,040
Speaker 1: and how she lives her life, and I'm like, oh,

20
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,520
Speaker 1: that's so interesting. All of a sudden, we're just like

21
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:12,199
Speaker 1: throwing judgment around and she's very informative, Like we both said,

22
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,440
Speaker 1: you and I were like, we couldn't be an apolymer.

23
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:18,320
Speaker 1: Situation wouldn't work for me. But I'm actually fascinated a

24
00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:20,880
Speaker 1: boy listening to her. It's just like opening your mindset

25
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,080
Speaker 1: to how a million other people live, you know. I

26
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,120
Speaker 1: also think you can apply some of the way that

27
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:30,720
Speaker 1: she thinks about her relationships other things in life. You know,

28
00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:33,039
Speaker 1: what do you mean? Just like in terms of just

29
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:38,920
Speaker 1: being open to you know, life, surprising you. Yeah, you know.

30
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,399
Speaker 1: What I mean I always take from her is the

31
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,960
Speaker 1: importance of communication and the trust piece, which I think

32
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,160
Speaker 1: people missed a little bit, Like she has to openly

33
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:54,440
Speaker 1: communicate with her husband more because of the other relationships.

34
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:58,080
Speaker 1: While I personally cannot live my relationship that way and

35
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,760
Speaker 1: have a bunch of other relationships. I can look at

36
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,520
Speaker 1: her and be like, Wow, you guys openly talk about that.

37
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,720
Speaker 1: That's amazing. I want that, you know, like, take what

38
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,760
Speaker 1: you like and leave the rest people. Yeah, I mean,

39
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:13,079
Speaker 1: I think what's funny is how quick people are to

40
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:17,760
Speaker 1: be like I don't agree with that. Who cares? I mean,

41
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,960
Speaker 1: I haven't read any of these responses yet, So this

42
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,000
Speaker 1: is going to be It'll be interesting to me to

43
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,360
Speaker 1: like hear the tone and exactly how they say they

44
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,760
Speaker 1: don't agree, but like who cares if you don't agree,

45
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,920
Speaker 1: you know, Like I mean, I guess it's like it's

46
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,960
Speaker 1: always important to like hear different viewpoints, but like I

47
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,640
Speaker 1: just don't think that's the way to start, you know,

48
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:42,000
Speaker 1: like because you know, being a gay person. It's like

49
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,240
Speaker 1: I know that there are people that don't agree with

50
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,520
Speaker 1: me having the right to be married, but like what

51
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,480
Speaker 1: does it have to do with you? You know what

52
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,800
Speaker 1: I mean, Like that's and that's where sort of my

53
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,120
Speaker 1: head is going here, and like people don't agree. It's

54
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:58,600
Speaker 1: like I give two ships who anybody sleeps with? Right? Well,

55
00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:01,040
Speaker 1: I think it's mostly about the way you live your life,

56
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,280
Speaker 1: and like there's two options, in my opinion. We can

57
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:07,920
Speaker 1: all live very closed minded and not ever we can

58
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:12,120
Speaker 1: live it like in our own little bubble of whatever

59
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:15,480
Speaker 1: our world looks like, and surround ourselves with people exactly

60
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,480
Speaker 1: like us who believe exactly the same things, who watched

61
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:23,239
Speaker 1: the same exact you know, news network or TV shows

62
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:27,480
Speaker 1: or um go to the same events and whatever it is,

63
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,760
Speaker 1: and live in your box. And that's I guess I

64
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,400
Speaker 1: just have to accept that that's how a lot of

65
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,880
Speaker 1: people want to live their lives, and that's okay, just

66
00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:35,800
Speaker 1: like we're saying right now, we hope people can accept

67
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,400
Speaker 1: that's fine. I think it's hard for me when people

68
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,400
Speaker 1: don't want to just like they're not curious. I'm just

69
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:45,560
Speaker 1: curious about people and like what I can learn from

70
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,680
Speaker 1: every different facet of life. And so when I get

71
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:53,040
Speaker 1: back feedback that's just very much like oof, No, it's

72
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,760
Speaker 1: just the judgment. I'm just so fucking over it. Well,

73
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,400
Speaker 1: I mean, I think it's important to remember that like

74
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:07,920
Speaker 1: can be um accepting and open to people who think

75
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,600
Speaker 1: and live differently than us without having to do it ourselves,

76
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,880
Speaker 1: you know, like but we don't have to participate in

77
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,720
Speaker 1: it just because we're like, I'm cool with that for you.

78
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,960
Speaker 1: I also had this really like again, I'm p messing.

79
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,919
Speaker 1: So maybe this is flow talking. I don't know, y'all,

80
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,080
Speaker 1: just excuse me. I mean, I'm sure I'll get judged,

81
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,440
Speaker 1: but like there's part of me that's like, oh cool,

82
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,400
Speaker 1: you're going to judge her. And because she's having conversations

83
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,320
Speaker 1: with her partner about porn, what's your husband doing? Like

84
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,920
Speaker 1: do you actually know? Are you just choosing to look

85
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,080
Speaker 1: the other way, and like, this person is being bold

86
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:44,560
Speaker 1: enough to not only discuss hard topics in her relationship,

87
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:48,840
Speaker 1: but then to open herself up to like, uh, having

88
00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:52,039
Speaker 1: these conversations publicly to help other people. And I just

89
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,600
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, whatever, I'm not even going to read

90
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,640
Speaker 1: all of them because I think I'm just like annoyed

91
00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,120
Speaker 1: right now. They don't deserve their no And I mean

92
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,920
Speaker 1: so in this month was Jolie, who was a bit

93
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:05,680
Speaker 1: adventurous in her and she's been a polyamorous relationship, which

94
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,600
Speaker 1: obviously Chip and I both said, um, we personally could

95
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,320
Speaker 1: not live our lives away. But she had so much

96
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,120
Speaker 1: inside on other stuff that I took away and I

97
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:17,920
Speaker 1: just like getting different perspectives on things. And then of

98
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:23,520
Speaker 1: course we had the Chris Rock Will Smith sit God,

99
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,359
Speaker 1: that feels like a million years ago. I wish I

100
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,679
Speaker 1: could just erase it. I'm so I'm sure Will Smith

101
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:33,200
Speaker 1: says too. Um, some bitch had the audacity to right

102
00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:36,320
Speaker 1: to me and say, you must be really insecure if

103
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,800
Speaker 1: you're supporting Will Smith. And I was like, first of all,

104
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:42,279
Speaker 1: who said I'm supporting Will Smith? Like I feel so

105
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:47,560
Speaker 1: misunderstood on this whole topic. That I'm that's another piece

106
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,120
Speaker 1: of my frustration because if one more present person comes

107
00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,560
Speaker 1: to me and says, it doesn't matter what you think

108
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,880
Speaker 1: about this stuff or you are you and all this

109
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:59,839
Speaker 1: trauma talk um, violence is never the answer. And I'm like,

110
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,280
Speaker 1: did I ever say it? Was? Like do I need

111
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,960
Speaker 1: to go back and listen to this podcast, because like, well,

112
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,400
Speaker 1: I mean that's just somebody repeating a sound bite back

113
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:16,600
Speaker 1: to you. What the violence from what response to the

114
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:22,040
Speaker 1: whole Thing's the laziest, most uneducated response to the entire situation.

115
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:28,880
Speaker 1: And that's my opinion. Bring it on, haters, um. Anyway,

116
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,760
Speaker 1: It's not all negative. And I do want to say

117
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,800
Speaker 1: it's so appreciate the couple of you that take the

118
00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:36,960
Speaker 1: time to write back positive stuff. I think it's always

119
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,000
Speaker 1: one of those things where it's like haters gonna hate,

120
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,479
Speaker 1: and those are gonna be the ones to write in

121
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:44,039
Speaker 1: a lot, you know, and then the positive people a

122
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,960
Speaker 1: lot of times will stop me, like in Nashville and

123
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,000
Speaker 1: say stuff to me or like send me an email

124
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,159
Speaker 1: or slide into my DMS on a totally separate day

125
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,400
Speaker 1: and not this day or whatever, and so it's like

126
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,800
Speaker 1: it gets kind of overrun with the haters, which is annoying,

127
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,600
Speaker 1: and it was really kind of just this month. It's

128
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,240
Speaker 1: like a weird energy or something. Maybe were we pushing

129
00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:04,040
Speaker 1: boundaries a little more. I mean we did have Susan

130
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,480
Speaker 1: Bratton on that was the last month. Oh my god,

131
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:09,200
Speaker 1: that feels more recent than the slab. I know, are

132
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,400
Speaker 1: you here? Are you awake? I am here? I am awake.

133
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,240
Speaker 1: But I don't know my timeline on that slap. It

134
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:18,080
Speaker 1: feels like that was in the slap was after Susan Bratton.

135
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,520
Speaker 1: Um so yeah, I don't know. Maybe we were pushing

136
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,160
Speaker 1: boundaries a little more. But like we're living on the

137
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:28,400
Speaker 1: edge here, guys, right, we're teetering on the edge. I mean,

138
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,000
Speaker 1: I do think it's important that people don't agree with

139
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:35,760
Speaker 1: things that we say. Um so, you know, they should

140
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,240
Speaker 1: have a voice and fine slide into our emails and

141
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,360
Speaker 1: our d m s and say it. But like to

142
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,160
Speaker 1: say you don't agree with how somebody lives, That's where

143
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,480
Speaker 1: I'm like funk off. Well, Also, like if you're going

144
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,520
Speaker 1: to say you didn't agree with something, like do you

145
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,720
Speaker 1: have to be an asshole about it? Like I'm so

146
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,840
Speaker 1: open a conversation and like I said, I'm curious about

147
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:56,320
Speaker 1: people's inside, but why do you also like or just

148
00:07:56,400 --> 00:08:00,360
Speaker 1: if you say I don't agree, okay, well let's talk

149
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,040
Speaker 1: about why. Like I'm curious why. That's why we do

150
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,640
Speaker 1: this whole podcast, not for you guys to just be

151
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:09,840
Speaker 1: like you or no or thumbs down or whatever. It's like,

152
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,720
Speaker 1: talk to me about why. And let's also like talk

153
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:17,840
Speaker 1: about why it's bringing that up for you anyway. I'm

154
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,040
Speaker 1: just sick of judgment in general. It's like, it's also

155
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,960
Speaker 1: the divisiveness carried over I feel from the last couple

156
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:27,280
Speaker 1: of years, and I'm just drained by that. So let's

157
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,560
Speaker 1: try to keep it a little more positive. I'll switch

158
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,000
Speaker 1: my tone because I feel like I'm kind of hitting that.

159
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,400
Speaker 1: But um. So, it was interesting about the Chris Rock

160
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:41,400
Speaker 1: and Will Smith conversation was I asked the question, this

161
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,880
Speaker 1: is also probably my mistake, but I said, who do

162
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,679
Speaker 1: you guys agree with? Chip like me or Chip kind

163
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:53,280
Speaker 1: of who side? Of course you wont are you kidding? Um?

164
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,080
Speaker 1: I did? I will say the people who have written

165
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,400
Speaker 1: to me or have stopped me in Nashville to talk

166
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,880
Speaker 1: about this, um and they agree with my side. It's

167
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:07,520
Speaker 1: very interesting. All of them have experience in trauma, they

168
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,920
Speaker 1: have some sort of personal experience with like post like

169
00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:16,400
Speaker 1: complex trauma in their life, or um their therapist, you know,

170
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:20,760
Speaker 1: like that work in trauma based stuff. And so it's interesting.

171
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,800
Speaker 1: That's all I'm gonna say is that it's interesting to

172
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:27,719
Speaker 1: observe who is is like on board with what I

173
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,800
Speaker 1: was trying to say, which is not that violence is

174
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,560
Speaker 1: the answer or that will Smith handled things properly. I've

175
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,760
Speaker 1: never said that. I do not believe that. Um. I

176
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,400
Speaker 1: was just inviting the conversation to look at the bigger

177
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:45,280
Speaker 1: picture of the whole thing. Yeah. Well, it's kind of

178
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,679
Speaker 1: like what you're saying is un abused dog into a corner,

179
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,600
Speaker 1: they're going to bite in a way. I mean, yeah,

180
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,240
Speaker 1: but I think that even almost still excuse That's not

181
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,040
Speaker 1: what I was saying. I was just saying, like, there

182
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,640
Speaker 1: was so much more to this story than the piece

183
00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:02,400
Speaker 1: that only piece that seems to be getting discussed, which

184
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:07,640
Speaker 1: is the slap and um and then like that violence

185
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,360
Speaker 1: is never the answer. I just think that's such the

186
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,000
Speaker 1: easy way out of this whole conversation. It also lets

187
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:17,200
Speaker 1: takes the responsibility off of the American public and how

188
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:21,360
Speaker 1: they responded to this situation so quickly again judging making

189
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:25,120
Speaker 1: you know, blanket statements, um, stuff that we just don't

190
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,360
Speaker 1: know anything about, remember us that It was like making

191
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,440
Speaker 1: me ask the question of like God, this is like

192
00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:33,240
Speaker 1: really messed up what we do and like again, yes,

193
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,720
Speaker 1: Chris Rock, I guess was sort of poking the bear

194
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,960
Speaker 1: and then the bear reacted, um, and then everyone's like,

195
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,480
Speaker 1: oh but this this one girl said, I love you,

196
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,760
Speaker 1: but where's your empathy for Chris Rock? Do you know

197
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:49,800
Speaker 1: his trauma? Your opinion is very one sided. I don't

198
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,960
Speaker 1: really know what his trauma has to do with the way,

199
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:57,600
Speaker 1: like what his trauma made him make a really insensitive joke. Yeah,

200
00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:01,400
Speaker 1: I mean I wish we could get in their heads

201
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,960
Speaker 1: because I just think, to me, this feels like arguing

202
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:11,600
Speaker 1: for argument's sake, right. I think the trauma piece of

203
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,719
Speaker 1: it only really comes into play when there's a reaction.

204
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,360
Speaker 1: Which is what I was trying to say is I

205
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:21,800
Speaker 1: was witnessing Will Smith, in my opinion, in a very

206
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:28,319
Speaker 1: traumatized place over having an emotional reaction. All of it

207
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:32,360
Speaker 1: was not okay, right, Yeah, I mean Chris Chris Rocks

208
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:37,679
Speaker 1: trauma doesn't really play into it until after the well,

209
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,240
Speaker 1: like he's probably traumatised now, like what you said, he

210
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,120
Speaker 1: looked really embarrassed, Like I would totally be willing to

211
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,280
Speaker 1: discuss that, but that wasn't what we were discussing that day.

212
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,880
Speaker 1: We did actually mention that, and I did say to like,

213
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:53,280
Speaker 1: I just think it's weird though that like, yeah, like

214
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,240
Speaker 1: he's being looked at it. This is the victim. It's

215
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,600
Speaker 1: like they're both victim. This was not a good situation

216
00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:01,520
Speaker 1: on any fronts, Like, nobody one here, This was not

217
00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:05,960
Speaker 1: good for anybody. Nobody handled it properly. And to me,

218
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,680
Speaker 1: they were both responsible and so and and the other

219
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,760
Speaker 1: frustrating thing is like when people are like Will Smith

220
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:17,760
Speaker 1: isn't facing consequences, Yes he is, Yes he is. How

221
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:21,760
Speaker 1: could you say that? I don't understand. Yeah, I mean,

222
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,880
Speaker 1: I to be honest, Other than hearing that he stepped

223
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,839
Speaker 1: down from the academy like he no longer remember the

224
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,360
Speaker 1: academy he was asked to, I mean, that wasn't and

225
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:34,200
Speaker 1: then he offered that right, Um, I think he beat

226
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:37,920
Speaker 1: them to the punch. Well, um, are you sure? I

227
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:43,440
Speaker 1: think so? Um, we may need the factor yeah, um,

228
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,520
Speaker 1: but I don't know what his other real life repercussions

229
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:50,320
Speaker 1: are other than well he's kind of disappeared. Have you

230
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,800
Speaker 1: noticed that? But like we don't know that it'll not Yeah,

231
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,480
Speaker 1: I mean it could very well affect like movie offers,

232
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,880
Speaker 1: it out on the table, I don't know, um, endorsement deals,

233
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,520
Speaker 1: all of it, and people would say, wow, wow, he's

234
00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:04,959
Speaker 1: you know whatever, but these are consequences. And I just

235
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:09,280
Speaker 1: also think that he's probably under going some sort of

236
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,880
Speaker 1: like treatment and you know, like looking into these issues

237
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,160
Speaker 1: based off of other stuff that we've seen from him,

238
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,360
Speaker 1: and so I don't know, I just it's whatever, he's

239
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,280
Speaker 1: not just like he didn't just forget about the it happening.

240
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,120
Speaker 1: I do know my circles to keep this opinion too,

241
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,959
Speaker 1: but um, I mean I did. There was people, there

242
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,040
Speaker 1: were people who wrote back saying they agree with me.

243
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,520
Speaker 1: But it just seems like as the greater hole just

244
00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:36,160
Speaker 1: wants to be like no, violence is never the answer.

245
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:40,679
Speaker 1: So I guess that's the deal. Um, this is actually

246
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,320
Speaker 1: a good point from Erica. She said, normalized not taking

247
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:46,520
Speaker 1: sides and acknowledging how we can all be better, which

248
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,280
Speaker 1: and she was like, don't make jokes about appearances, and

249
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,760
Speaker 1: I actually was like, yeah, like that's a really, especially

250
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,559
Speaker 1: with a woman. That's like a really. I don't think

251
00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,640
Speaker 1: we should with anybody, but we don't make like fat

252
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,120
Speaker 1: jokes to people or whatever. I don't know, I just

253
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:06,560
Speaker 1: think you need to be more sensitive. Um, yeah, we

254
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:15,280
Speaker 1: all have past trauma. Violence is never okay, got it?

255
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:19,120
Speaker 1: I mean the truth is violence is not who said it.

256
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:25,040
Speaker 1: That's why I'm frustrated. It's like it's like and then

257
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,400
Speaker 1: and then also, because I said the things about why

258
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,160
Speaker 1: it was triggering me, some people were like, well, I

259
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,840
Speaker 1: understand why it was triggering for her for you, and

260
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:42,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, well, I mean, yes, I am more

261
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:45,320
Speaker 1: sensitive to the topic because of my own experiences. I

262
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:49,960
Speaker 1: have more empathy about it. Right, But anyway, okay, we

263
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,960
Speaker 1: should do like a celebrity deathmatch and like just have

264
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:57,160
Speaker 1: them fight each other except for Wilsmith ask. I mean

265
00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,280
Speaker 1: that is not even no, and Chris Rock is probably

266
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:04,400
Speaker 1: too traumatized. I'm not trying to laugh about that. But

267
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,480
Speaker 1: since you brought that up, could you imagine a pay

268
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,480
Speaker 1: per view going to like, oh god, it would be

269
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:14,800
Speaker 1: sold out view going to the charity of Chris Rock's choice. Yeah,

270
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,880
Speaker 1: I mean I hope that they work it out on

271
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,720
Speaker 1: their own end, and I hope I don't want to

272
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,560
Speaker 1: laugh about Chris Rocks embarrassment and all that stuff after.

273
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,800
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure that's a whole different situation. I

274
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,480
Speaker 1: still hate that he made that joke. I think it

275
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,960
Speaker 1: was and it was not part of the script. That

276
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,000
Speaker 1: was what was said a million times. He went off

277
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:37,280
Speaker 1: script and he faced some pretty gnarly consequences. So anyway,

278
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:41,120
Speaker 1: hopefully it's a learning lesson for all. But um, okay,

279
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,920
Speaker 1: let's move on. So I don't you know, slap somebody?

280
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,480
Speaker 1: Um okay. So this was with Joe Lee. The feedback

281
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:53,560
Speaker 1: was was weird. It was weirded out by her situation period. Okay,

282
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:57,000
Speaker 1: she was a bit too adventurous for me. Couldn't finish

283
00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:03,400
Speaker 1: it wasn't relatable. Okay, uh thumbs down on this episode.

284
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:09,520
Speaker 1: So again, like not too much feedback. But then this

285
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:13,480
Speaker 1: one girl comes in. Does she have to does she

286
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:16,200
Speaker 1: have tips for anal sex? My boyfriend wants to, but

287
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,400
Speaker 1: I've done it in the past and find it uncomfortable.

288
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:25,000
Speaker 1: Do you have tips? Ship? I mean, I think it's

289
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,960
Speaker 1: some good lub. Yeah, you definitely need good libe um

290
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,320
Speaker 1: and you can't it has it's like a slow and

291
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,840
Speaker 1: steady wins the race for that one. Like, you don't

292
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,760
Speaker 1: you don't just slide right in? Okay, does there need

293
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:42,400
Speaker 1: to be some sort of release before? You definitely want

294
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,960
Speaker 1: to make sure that you're, um, you've cleaned out your cabin,

295
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 1: is it full? Yeah, you definitely want to make sure

296
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:56,160
Speaker 1: that there's no little you know, surprises. Um, I mean,

297
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:57,920
Speaker 1: how detail do you want me to go? I mean,

298
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,440
Speaker 1: I don't know. It doesn't sound like it sounds like

299
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,880
Speaker 1: more she's she's asking because of the discomfort and I

300
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,280
Speaker 1: think she said she's done it in the past. Yeah,

301
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:08,440
Speaker 1: it finds it uncomfortable, I think, right, Yeah, I think

302
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:13,000
Speaker 1: it's a lubrication situation and I think some people just

303
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,199
Speaker 1: like rush into it. You have to like prime it.

304
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:18,640
Speaker 1: And this is where it's so hard for girls are

305
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,639
Speaker 1: so different is because like we have another place that

306
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,480
Speaker 1: doesn't feel like that, right. So, I don't know, it's

307
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:29,800
Speaker 1: tough one, you know, but to each their own, whatever

308
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:33,080
Speaker 1: floats your boat, that's what we're bringing today. I mean,

309
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,200
Speaker 1: I think the discomfort part has definitely helped if you

310
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,760
Speaker 1: take your time. Okay, interesting, Um for the Indiogram podcast,

311
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,160
Speaker 1: A couple of you guys asked some questions about sites

312
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,399
Speaker 1: for taking the test I took. I believe it was

313
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:51,800
Speaker 1: i Q nine is the test and it UM I

314
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 1: want to say now, I'm like, is it i e

315
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:57,760
Speaker 1: Q nine UM? Anyway, it is a very detailed test,

316
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,000
Speaker 1: and it costs I think it costs like a hundred bucks.

317
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,240
Speaker 1: It wasn't free, but it was so worth it to

318
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:09,080
Speaker 1: me because I UM tested as a two for a

319
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:13,119
Speaker 1: super long time, and that isn't what I was. And

320
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,399
Speaker 1: I knew it wasn't what I was. It's actually okay.

321
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:20,640
Speaker 1: The site itself here it is It's Integrative nine dot

322
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,879
Speaker 1: com backslash angiogram and that's where it's the I e

323
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:27,200
Speaker 1: Q nine angiogram test. And it gives you, like this

324
00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:30,119
Speaker 1: full print out that tells you how you respond in

325
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:35,679
Speaker 1: hard situations, good situations, UM, when you're in stress, what

326
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,840
Speaker 1: that'll look like, what number you go to, how you

327
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:43,520
Speaker 1: identify in relationships, what kind of relationships are, what you

328
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:47,320
Speaker 1: bring to a relationship that's positive, negative, work relationships, Like

329
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:50,480
Speaker 1: it just talks through all that stuff, which is so helpful.

330
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,080
Speaker 1: And that's when the intiogram actually is really useful, is

331
00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:56,680
Speaker 1: when you really dive in and understand what your number means,

332
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,880
Speaker 1: but like on a bigger level, what that means about

333
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 1: your personality and how am I should show up in life? Um.

334
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,560
Speaker 1: And so that's when it becomes a really beneficial tool,

335
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,879
Speaker 1: especially if you're in a relationship and you have a

336
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:09,000
Speaker 1: partner who you know their number. If you do this test,

337
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 1: you can like read both of y'all's profiles and and

338
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,919
Speaker 1: really understand. Like it's helped me so much in so

339
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,640
Speaker 1: many of my friendships to be like, oh, that's why

340
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 1: this is so important to them, like things that would

341
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:22,480
Speaker 1: drive me crazy or like things that would drive me

342
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,640
Speaker 1: crazy about other of my friends. Once they knew my number,

343
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,680
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, it all makes sense, Like that's your

344
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,719
Speaker 1: driving force, No wonder you need that validation, Like they

345
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,439
Speaker 1: might not need the same things I do, you know.

346
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 1: And so when you understand each other, it's just so helpful.

347
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,560
Speaker 1: Have you set up your appointment with Georgia? Need to

348
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:39,960
Speaker 1: I need you to give me your info. I don't

349
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:46,000
Speaker 1: have it, listen to you. Yeah, I mean it's the

350
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,400
Speaker 1: funny thing about it to me, and I totally subscribe

351
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:55,520
Speaker 1: to it. I just don't know it. Um. But and

352
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,560
Speaker 1: this is a question I'm not coming at you. I'm

353
00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:02,399
Speaker 1: just curious here we go. Why does it take knowing

354
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 1: their number to understand why someone might need like approach

355
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:12,200
Speaker 1: something differently or need something differently? Okay, well, for instance,

356
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,439
Speaker 1: like we have a friend who's a two, and a

357
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 1: driving force for a two is to take care of people.

358
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:21,119
Speaker 1: They act like this is very typical of a two

359
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,360
Speaker 1: that they don't want any praise for that. In their

360
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,720
Speaker 1: angiogram profile you will see they need some sort of

361
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,919
Speaker 1: validation or thank you. They'll still act like they're oh, no,

362
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:30,920
Speaker 1: no, no no, it's not a big deal. It's not a

363
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,240
Speaker 1: big deal. But a two wants that validation, and when

364
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 1: they don't get it, they questioned everything in their head,

365
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,560
Speaker 1: are we doing the right Am I doing the right thing?

366
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 1: Did that? Do I even matter? They go really dark

367
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 1: with it, and um, it's so helped me with this

368
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,719
Speaker 1: too in our life because we have a work relationship

369
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:52,159
Speaker 1: and a friendship and I didn't know that because what

370
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 1: she presents is that she wouldn't want that. Once I

371
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 1: found out more about it too, I'm able to give

372
00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,879
Speaker 1: her tiny little things that I can tell hell it

373
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,679
Speaker 1: matters to her, and then she feels more secure in herself.

374
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:06,280
Speaker 1: And so that's like the easiest thing for me to do.

375
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,639
Speaker 1: And she's a person I love so happily. I will

376
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 1: give her a sentence every now and again to be

377
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 1: like you, that's a good example. Thank you. Oh you

378
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:19,440
Speaker 1: are so welcome to um. This girl said, I can't

379
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 1: get into it's so much effort, but I don't see

380
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,120
Speaker 1: how it helps. Can you talk to that? That's it?

381
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 1: I mean it's like, first of all, I don't really

382
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 1: is it that much effort. I mean, it's just taking

383
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 1: a test. I think there is a lot of effort,

384
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 1: Like you know so much about every number, Like I

385
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 1: think I would start with just trying to figure out

386
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 1: my number and what my number means. I don't know

387
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,359
Speaker 1: that I would ever go the extra mile and like

388
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,040
Speaker 1: learn about all the other numbers. I just read a

389
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 1: bunch of books. And also, like you, once you get

390
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:53,159
Speaker 1: into your number, it will become like more interesting to

391
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 1: you in understanding yourself. And then you'll start to be like, oh, well,

392
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,639
Speaker 1: she's a three, so what does that mean? Or I know,

393
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 1: you know I'm a four. So since we work together

394
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,200
Speaker 1: and have a friendship, it's like what dynamics do we

395
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 1: both bring there? You'll just start to get more interested

396
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 1: and see the benefits in all areas of your life. Yeah,

397
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 1: I've never really been one because I always think about

398
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 1: people that are really into horoscopes, and I know these

399
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 1: are very different, but like the similarities exist where it's like,

400
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 1: you know, oh my god, you can't date him. He's

401
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 1: a leo And I'm like, what does that mean? You

402
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 1: know what I mean? And then it's like the inside,

403
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,720
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you're right here, they can't do that. I'm

404
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:38,119
Speaker 1: like that. I'm like, oh my god, they're in areas.

405
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 1: Oh god now, and that's like right over my head.

406
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 1: So it does seem like a daunting like I can't

407
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 1: see that understandable. Sure, I think it's like you take

408
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 1: the step for it's like baby, it's like anything else.

409
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 1: Like obviously all of this stuff I find really interesting

410
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 1: that I've been doing it a really long time, whereas

411
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 1: like if you're just starting get get it to take

412
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 1: a test that's accurate, or go meet up with a

413
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,959
Speaker 1: person like Georgia and figure out what your number is.

414
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 1: The more, I promise you, the more you start learning

415
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 1: about yourself, the more you will be more interested in

416
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,360
Speaker 1: all of it in general. And it's going to help

417
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 1: in the greater scale of your life. Great. Great, This

418
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:19,120
Speaker 1: girl said, can you change a change your number over

419
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 1: the course of a couple of years and become a

420
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 1: different number? I actually don't know the answer to that,

421
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 1: but you can hit up Georgia. It's at Georgia White

422
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 1: Coaching on Instagram, and I'm sure she'll be happy to

423
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:33,959
Speaker 1: answer that. Um, I'm obsessed. I've learned more about myself

424
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 1: through that than anything. See there you Okay, these are

425
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:42,879
Speaker 1: just some random questions that we have. Um Uh, this

426
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:48,199
Speaker 1: one's tough. Boyfriend's girlfriend crosses boundaries. Talking is fine, but

427
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 1: she sent towel pictures and calls all day. So this

428
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,640
Speaker 1: girl writes in that her boyfriend has a friend who's

429
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 1: another girl female friend. Talking is fine, so she's okay

430
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,119
Speaker 1: with them being friends, but she's like, but she's crossing

431
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,959
Speaker 1: these lines, like she sent him a towel picture and

432
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 1: calls all day. Do you have thoughts to um? Well,

433
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 1: I mean I think there's context that we obviously can't see,

434
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,640
Speaker 1: because she could just be like, oh my god, I'm

435
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 1: like rushing to get out of there, and like she's

436
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,239
Speaker 1: still in her towel, you know what I mean? Like

437
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:25,720
Speaker 1: I don't know what the context of giving. But it's

438
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 1: also just a picture, you know. It's like I guess.

439
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:33,639
Speaker 1: I mean, I think the problem isn't if she doesn't

440
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: trust her boyfriend. That's where the problem lies. You know. Well,

441
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: I do think it sounds like there's some boundaries, like

442
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 1: I don't know, calls all day and sending towel pictures.

443
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 1: It's sort of like where's the line here? Are you

444
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 1: guys just friends or is there something more? I don't know.

445
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 1: I'm just such a I'm a big boundaries person with relationships.

446
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 1: I feel like the gays are a little more free

447
00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 1: and so I don't know, but I would say, like,

448
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 1: if it's bothering you either way, it's a discussion. Yeah.

449
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 1: That's just always our answer, isn't it. Like yeah, I

450
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: mean it's like I also don't know to what degree this?

451
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 1: You know, if it's his best friend then yeah, like

452
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 1: how long have you been friends? Yeah? Like, and what's

453
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,920
Speaker 1: also my always my question is is what's your relationship

454
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,919
Speaker 1: with her? Like as the girlfriend? Are you allowed to

455
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 1: be around her? Is like there a friendship between y'all?

456
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,360
Speaker 1: Because like, to me, that always makes it better if

457
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 1: if you're included and it's not just like the two

458
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 1: of them. Does that make sense? It's like it to me,

459
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,480
Speaker 1: it just feels like, well, there's nothing to hide. So yeah,

460
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 1: I would think that if the boyfriend is keeping it separated,

461
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: there's something to hide. If you're fully integrated into the friendship,

462
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 1: then how do you know that there's tower pictures too? Like,

463
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 1: I'm wondering if there's some snooping going on or with

464
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: the boyfriend said look at this crazy vote right, because

465
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:02,439
Speaker 1: that would matter too, because if he's actively showing you

466
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 1: the photos, and that's probably a good sign that nothing

467
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 1: is happening. But if you're snooping and finding them, then

468
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 1: you know, maybe you have a point, don't We need

469
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 1: to follow up on this one. Yeah, give us some

470
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 1: more details and we'll answer that. Want to hear chips

471
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:23,640
Speaker 1: dating progress, get out there? He's awesome, Well, thank you,

472
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 1: but there really isn't much progress, to be honest, it's

473
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 1: um and it's not because I'm not trying to be

474
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 1: out there. It's just I just don't go out. I

475
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 1: actually asked you that the other day that I was like,

476
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 1: are we on apps? What are we doing here? Yeah?

477
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,400
Speaker 1: I mean I'm on a couple of apps, but I'm

478
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 1: not that active. You're active at all? Do you ever

479
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 1: get on them? Not really bad? I don't know. I'm

480
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 1: just even though I'm kind of feeling myself a little

481
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:53,640
Speaker 1: bit more these days. Yeah, I don't know. I think

482
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 1: it's like and we can get to some of this

483
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: down the line too, but there's changes happening in my life,

484
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: like my work life that um, that are keeping me

485
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 1: sort of focused on that right now. Okay, so that's

486
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:12,199
Speaker 1: all we're going to say about that. Okay, UM, this

487
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: bit she I don't know who you are, but I

488
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,159
Speaker 1: actually wrote you back because you were so negative in

489
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,200
Speaker 1: the comments and you didn't write me what I can't

490
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 1: stand like I'll talk, I'll talk through most things with people.

491
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 1: What I can't stand as a keyboard warrior who when

492
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,880
Speaker 1: I actually write you back go silent, like you had

493
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 1: a whole lot to say, And I said what do

494
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: you mean? And I got nothing? She said, Kelly, interested

495
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,159
Speaker 1: in your background, difficult to follow at times because you

496
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 1: speak in general? What's that me? Because I speak because

497
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 1: I breathe. I was just like, what the universe is

498
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 1: challenging the whole? And then you said, what do you mean?

499
00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 1: She wrote? She literally wrote on every single because I

500
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,639
Speaker 1: was like it was a consistent kind of negativity that

501
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 1: I was picking up. And then like, but this was

502
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 1: the last one. And then she wrote that and said

503
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 1: this one. I go, what do you mean? Because I'm like,

504
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,479
Speaker 1: tell me more, what does is there even a profile photo?

505
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 1: Of course there's a profile photo, but of course she's private, right,

506
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:23,119
Speaker 1: Haters are always private. I just thought maybe it sounded

507
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 1: like a bot because like, I think it cuts you off,

508
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,439
Speaker 1: like you can only get this is like Twitter. You

509
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,359
Speaker 1: can't get a ton of um what is that called

510
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: on Twitter? Characters? In there's like a hundred forty characters

511
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 1: let's say. I don't even think it's that much. So

512
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 1: people have to like kind of abbreviate sometimes or get

513
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: the messages in how they can. Oh, this is like

514
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 1: on the survey type things. This is on the questions. Yeah,

515
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 1: this wasn't on the email it So I don't know

516
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: who you are, But if you want to talk, hit

517
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 1: me up. Let's go. You know where to find let's go.

518
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 1: Where do you stand with Kristen? Also, I'm just like,

519
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 1: are we done talking about this? We don't stand with Chris,

520
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 1: I mean, we don't like that's the thing. And like

521
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 1: I have said in a podcast earlier this week, like

522
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 1: I'm never going to talk about people like, I'm never

523
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: gonna name people from my past publicly like and Kristen's

524
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,600
Speaker 1: the one exception of that because she made this very

525
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 1: public and so obviously I get hit up about it

526
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 1: all the time. First of all, this is a really

527
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 1: long time ago now, like I have moved on with

528
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 1: my life. I believe she's moved on with hers. She

529
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 1: did text me once I thought she was filming. It

530
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 1: was a really weird I just don't know. The gist

531
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 1: of all of it is I do not trust her,

532
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 1: nor will I ever. That ship has sailed for me,

533
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 1: And so it's something in my past. I mean, I'm

534
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 1: working on letting go of resentments. I don't I'm not

535
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 1: I'm not there yet. I actually I'm not there at all.

536
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 1: I'm not passive a ground I'm just aggressive a gross. So, like,

537
00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 1: I just know, I don't wish her the best, But

538
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,120
Speaker 1: it's something I'm working going on because I think it's

539
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 1: the only The only person that suffers from that is me,

540
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 1: I really do. And um, I have regret about not

541
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 1: speaking up when it was happening because I think I'm

542
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 1: still facing the fallout of something I had absolutely nothing

543
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 1: to do with. UM. It was a big character assassination.

544
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,560
Speaker 1: Have you been watching the Johnny Depp amber Heard trial. No,

545
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 1: I just saw that you lost something. I don't know

546
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: about that, but it's baffling to me how this is live?

547
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 1: What is hap? Oh? My god? I was watching the hold.

548
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 1: It's like the O. J. Simpson trial. I was watching

549
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 1: it on UM on YouTube today and I couldn't. I

550
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 1: couldn't stop vir or something. I don't know why, but

551
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 1: I guess it has to do with maybe trying to

552
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 1: find a jury that's not biased. I have no idea,

553
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 1: But anyway, I have no idea what happened in that scenario.

554
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 1: They both seem it seems like it was a very

555
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,959
Speaker 1: dysfunctional relationship in general, and they both seemed like they

556
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 1: had issues they brought to the table. But one thing

557
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 1: I heard him say was I have to defend my character.

558
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 1: This is defamation. And that is what I went through.

559
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 1: And the hard part was is that none of it

560
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 1: was true. Even the statements she made on the show

561
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 1: about how things played out with us, We're not true.

562
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: Wasn't how it happened. I had all the proof, but

563
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 1: I was first of all traumatized, if we're going to

564
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 1: use that word again, but it was shocking to me.

565
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,960
Speaker 1: I was in literal shock that what I had been

566
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 1: told by a friend of mine that had been a

567
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 1: friend for nine years, um would just turn on a

568
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 1: dime without speaking to me about it and like really

569
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 1: trying to work through it. I don't understand that because

570
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 1: in all of my real friendships, if we bump up

571
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: against issues, we work through them, and we talked to

572
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 1: each other, We give each other grace, we try to

573
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 1: hear the other person's side. I was never given that.

574
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: Like we had one conversation and it was basically me

575
00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:00,040
Speaker 1: just talking to her like I'm sorry if I made you,

576
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:03,360
Speaker 1: you'ld this, like trying to understand her side. There was

577
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: absolutely never one ounce of anything from her side to

578
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 1: me and trying to see where I was coming from

579
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 1: or um that anything that she was feeling wasn't really

580
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: actually about me, but anyway, because there was, she had

581
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 1: zero interest in preserving the friendship because she wanted a plotline. Yeah,

582
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 1: and I think she just I mean, from the outside

583
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: for me, I'm like, you know, her relationship was in

584
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 1: a really bad spot. I tried to be as supportive

585
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 1: as possible, and if you guys knew it was really

586
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 1: going on behind the scenes with how I was supporting

587
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 1: that and working to try to help them resolve things,

588
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: it would you know whatever. But it's just like that

589
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 1: wasn't my ship to air out, I didn't think, and

590
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,479
Speaker 1: I found that to be really disgusting to like go

591
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 1: that route, and so I chose to stay silent, also

592
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: hoping that like it would just go away quicker. And

593
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 1: what I've experienced is that it doesn't go away, Like

594
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: it's probably never going to go away from my life,

595
00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 1: and it definitely isn't going to ever go away from

596
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 1: my fucking Google search. So it's unfortunate. But like that

597
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 1: is the regret that I have, Um, will it have?

598
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 1: The other question I get all the time is would

599
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 1: you Chris and ever rekindled? No, because we don't have

600
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 1: trust and so and that's not And it's also something

601
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 1: like I'm not willing to try to like figure out no,

602
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 1: like learned to trusting it. I have friends that I

603
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 1: trust and have really amazing friendships, and um, I don't

604
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 1: need that in my life. I don't need that kind

605
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 1: of like she's crossed a line that I can't go

606
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 1: back from. So if that answers that, I did a

607
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 1: whole podcast on Behind the Velvet Rope telling my U

608
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 1: side of the story, and that's the only time that

609
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 1: I'll like really go into all that detail. It's exhausting

610
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 1: to still be talking about this, but I understand it's

611
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 1: how a lot of you guys found um me, although

612
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 1: not all she would try to say so um and

613
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 1: actually not even close to half. So anyway, that's neither here,

614
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 1: there nor there. I'll add that to my resentment list.

615
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 1: Um let's see you when the last question that I

616
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 1: was going to go through, Oh, Chips, do you have

617
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:17,439
Speaker 1: a most embarrassing celebrity encounter? Oh my gosh, I'm sure

618
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:21,839
Speaker 1: there there has to be one. I actually don't think

619
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 1: I do. That's what I was I thought about that. Yeah,

620
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 1: embarrassing celebrity encounter. I mean, I can't think of one

621
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 1: off the time. Embarrassing. That's what I'm like, Yeah, Like

622
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 1: are they saying I wonder if it's in the context

623
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 1: of like or the celebrity did something embarrassing, or if

624
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,399
Speaker 1: I embarrassed myself. I mean, it could be either could

625
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 1: be either. Do you have either? Though I don't have

626
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 1: either and I try not to embarrass. We're also usually

627
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 1: at work when we meet celebrities and so, like I

628
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 1: think we're probably in a pretty professional mindset, you know.

629
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:04,239
Speaker 1: Um yeah, I can't think of one. I mean, it's

630
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: like I almost got Simon Laban from Duran Duranda signed

631
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 1: signed my arm, so a tattoo is signature, but I

632
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 1: didn't do it, like that would have probably been embarrassing,

633
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:21,759
Speaker 1: even though I think that would be really freaking cool tattoo. Um, yeah,

634
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 1: I can't think of anything. I mean, I'm sure I've

635
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:27,360
Speaker 1: done something embarrassing. I've run of the celebrity, like because

636
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:31,840
Speaker 1: if we're out of drunk, Yeah, I can see like

637
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 1: body rolling in front of the feature. I'm wait, I

638
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:38,800
Speaker 1: am sure at the Dirk's after party in Los Angeles

639
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 1: set no Vacancy, brothers were on that door. Yeah, that

640
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 1: was such a fun party. Um, I'm sure I embarrassed

641
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 1: myself with that because I got so drunk. I don't

642
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 1: like everyone was probably on that level, so it doesn't

643
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,840
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean, Like like everyone was

644
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 1: probably there, and so I'm not sure that it's embarrassing

645
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,839
Speaker 1: because they're like, yeah, but that was that was that night.

646
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 1: I mean I can't even remember, like who was there,

647
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 1: So if you weren't there forgiving me, I was there.

648
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,760
Speaker 1: Um remember like t J showed up and I suddenly

649
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 1: like went like mood. I couldn't mute. I feel like

650
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 1: I couldn't talk. Like everyone was like, oh my god,

651
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 1: I've never seen you like so maybe that he's a

652
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 1: very handsome man him. I know, did you see that

653
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 1: he's hosting Nashville Pride Parade Pride weekend. Yeah, we're obviously

654
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 1: going to We're all going Okay, this is a really

655
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 1: long question, which she apologized in me to me in advance,

656
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 1: but I feel like the details are important and so

657
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 1: I'm going to give them to you for me. Is

658
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:47,400
Speaker 1: this question for wants our advice? Okay, she wants our advice. Um.

659
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:50,160
Speaker 1: And the funny part was it She's like, I've talked

660
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 1: about therapist and my friends and now I want to

661
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:53,799
Speaker 1: hear from you guys. And I was like, oh, big,

662
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:57,759
Speaker 1: I know, no pressure, Um, I hope that we can

663
00:36:57,800 --> 00:36:59,319
Speaker 1: come through for you, but I would say, trust your

664
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 1: therapist more in us all day, every day. Please, Okay, Hi, Kelly.

665
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 1: So I have a question for you, and I've already

666
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 1: talked to my therapist and friends about it, and I

667
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: wanted to ask you. Love your podcast, I've been following

668
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,799
Speaker 1: you forever. You feel like a friend already. See these

669
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 1: are thank you, Thank you for saving me for myself today.

670
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,920
Speaker 1: I was exclusively seeing a guy last year for a month,

671
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, a few months and about a month, and

672
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:24,400
Speaker 1: he said he wasn't emotionally available for something serious. We

673
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 1: continued being casual for a month and then went our

674
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:30,920
Speaker 1: separate ways recognize it, recognizing it was sad, but we

675
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 1: were in different places, and we haven't had any contact

676
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,720
Speaker 1: and never followed each other on socials, so I literally

677
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 1: have had no idea what he's been up to. In

678
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,719
Speaker 1: many ways, I think that's a good thing. I've been

679
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:44,879
Speaker 1: thinking about him, and I'm in a very different place

680
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 1: than I was last year when we met. I had

681
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 1: just moved back to my hometown after being away for

682
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 1: six years, didn't have a job, still living with my parents.

683
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 1: It was a lot, and looking back, I wasn't emotionally

684
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 1: available either. I've been intentionally single and not dating since then,

685
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 1: and I have been focusing on myself and figuring out

686
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 1: who I am. I got a job, bought my first house,

687
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 1: made new friends excuse me, and have had to Lacroix

688
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 1: and have new interest. I feel confident and happier. I

689
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 1: had a great connection with this guy and we opened

690
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 1: up to each other. My regret from it is that

691
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 1: because I wasn't my authentic self, because I was so

692
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 1: insecure at the time, I felt I was pushing him

693
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 1: for something I wasn't ready for, even though I said

694
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,399
Speaker 1: I was. I'm thinking about reaching out to him via

695
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 1: text to just put it out there and see how

696
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 1: he's doing. And ideally I'd love to just grab a

697
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 1: drink with him. I don't have any expectations, but I'd

698
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 1: love to find out if he's in a different place

699
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 1: than where he was last year, and depending on that,

700
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 1: just move on from there. My motivation is dating, Oh,

701
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 1: my motivation is dating requires vulnerability and putting yourself out there.

702
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 1: I see it as a circling back with a job

703
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 1: that didn't work out, or trying again with someone I

704
00:38:56,160 --> 00:39:00,880
Speaker 1: actually know versus a random what do you think? Hi? Again?

705
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,279
Speaker 1: She wrote back again? So I wanted to add more

706
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,200
Speaker 1: details to the question I had about reaching out to

707
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 1: a guy. I don't know if it even helps, but

708
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 1: even though he said he was emotionally unavailable, he was honest, respectful,

709
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 1: and a good guy in the entire time we saw

710
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 1: each other. I just knew in the end and he

711
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,439
Speaker 1: admitted he needs to do work on himself and wasn't

712
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,839
Speaker 1: emotionally ready and that's why it had to end. He

713
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 1: hasn't been in a serious relationship since college and also

714
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 1: moved back to our hometown a couple of years ago

715
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 1: and transition to the real world after playing pro sports.

716
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 1: He told me I was the furthest he'd gone with

717
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 1: on date since moving back, and he only had this

718
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 1: conversation like once before I e. Not being emotionally ready

719
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,719
Speaker 1: and on like our second date, he told me he

720
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 1: doesn't usually feel this way. It was an emotional connection

721
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:47,280
Speaker 1: for him, not just physical. Can you tell him Anna overthinker.

722
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:50,319
Speaker 1: I'm a six on the Instagram, which helps me a

723
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 1: lot to understand um. But honestly, this is like my

724
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 1: this is my real life, and now that I put

725
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 1: it out there, I just had to go in with

726
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 1: all this. Uh Uh. I really liked him, and I

727
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: know I wasn't his girlfriend, but a dude did feel

728
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 1: we had a special connection. It would be cool if

729
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 1: he could see the me that I am. Now maybe

730
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 1: I'm just being too hopeless romantic and chasing something. Thank

731
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 1: you good luck editing this. Ha ha ha, what do you think? Um?

732
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 1: You know it's funny because I made me think, like

733
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: you know sometimes when people break up, like you say, like, look,

734
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:26,239
Speaker 1: if it's meant to be, you'll find your ways back,

735
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: You'll find your way back to each other. And if

736
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 1: if they were both truly in a spot where the

737
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 1: timing was off, I don't think it sounds crazy Like

738
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 1: I personally, I would not want to go to my

739
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:46,279
Speaker 1: deathbed with regret of not reaching out. So if she

740
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 1: believes that she can um survive him not responding or

741
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 1: it not working out, or him being in the same

742
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 1: exact place where he was, then by all means reach

743
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:03,400
Speaker 1: out because as there's just as much likelihood that he's changed,

744
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 1: you know, like and it's thinking about her and it's

745
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 1: respecting you know, maybe he thinks he's respecting a boundary. Um,

746
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 1: as long as it wasn't like don't ever speak, don't

747
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 1: ever reach out to me again, I don't think it

748
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 1: sounds like that. That doesn't sound like it. I think

749
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 1: it sounds like she wants to, and I know how

750
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,359
Speaker 1: I would be in that situation. I would do it,

751
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 1: like I would just want like the closure or the

752
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 1: knowledge of like what it would mean if I did it.

753
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound like it ended badly, Like I could

754
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 1: see if he was like abusive or just a bad dude,

755
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 1: but that you couldn't stop thinking about. But it sounds

756
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,080
Speaker 1: like it was like a good dude. Well it was

757
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 1: so short lived too. I mean, I think there's two

758
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,839
Speaker 1: you know, you never like. Of course, it's a hard

759
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 1: thing when people sometimes they're like, oh, I'm just not

760
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 1: really in the place, and like that an easy cop

761
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 1: out sometimes, but like in this situation, we don't really know.

762
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 1: We don't know. It sounds like she wasn't really emotionally

763
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:09,799
Speaker 1: available either, and things have shifted. I loved the part

764
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 1: about um, I have no expectations, Like to me, that's

765
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 1: the key. It's like I say, go for it to

766
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 1: like just sort of put it out there, even if

767
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 1: it's like a friendship, because it sounds like maybe it

768
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,319
Speaker 1: could be that, or like just somebody to go grab

769
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:28,160
Speaker 1: drinks and have a good catch up conversation with that

770
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 1: kind of vibe, but if you don't put the expectation

771
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 1: of like this is the man I'm gonna marry or

772
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 1: we're gonna fall madly in love and you're just kind

773
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 1: of like I just wanted to check in and see

774
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 1: how you are and a lot has changed for me,

775
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 1: and I'm just I've been thinking about you and I

776
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:42,799
Speaker 1: just wanted to see how you are and see where

777
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 1: it goes. But like not putting a lot of pressure

778
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,399
Speaker 1: on it has to be something more than that, even

779
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 1: more than a text exchange, Like I don't see any

780
00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 1: harm in that. Yeah, I mean it's because it's She

781
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 1: even admitted in that email that like she recognized that

782
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:01,560
Speaker 1: she wanted him to be something that wasn't. She's not

783
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:05,279
Speaker 1: there now, you know, like to be something that it

784
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 1: wasn't right, But also basically because of where she was

785
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:12,319
Speaker 1: in her own line, which she's acknowledging that she's not

786
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 1: there anymore and feels more secure, which I think is

787
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 1: huge everything. So we say go for it, go for it,

788
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:20,799
Speaker 1: and also keep us posted on it. But I do

789
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 1: think you have to before you just go for it,

790
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 1: you have to think about, like how am I going

791
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 1: to react if he doesn't respond well she's a six.

792
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 1: I'm sure she has. Probably she thought of every the

793
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:35,399
Speaker 1: six is like, we have a friend who's a six,

794
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 1: and it worries about every single action she takes, like

795
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,359
Speaker 1: thinks of every worst case scenario. That's a six. And

796
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 1: so I'm certain that this precious girl. Um, but if

797
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 1: you haven't, I think Chip's advice was going to be,

798
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 1: just think through what happens. If he doesn't even respond,

799
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:56,239
Speaker 1: you have to be okay with them, make sure you're

800
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 1: okay with yourself. And it's yeah, it's probably has nothing

801
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 1: to do with you. I doubt it. Um. Okay, Well,

802
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 1: do you know what this sort of helped me? I

803
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 1: will say I put up a podcast that I've mentioned

804
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 1: a couple of times, UM, that I was interviewed on

805
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,359
Speaker 1: actually brought it to the Velvet Edge podcast this week,

806
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 1: and it was when I was interviewed on Journals of

807
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 1: a Love Addict, and I did get a lot of

808
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 1: positive feedback from you guys. That was so insanely helpful

809
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,879
Speaker 1: to me. It's so difficult on some days to tell

810
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 1: that story publicly or to be really vulnerable, and UM,

811
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 1: to know that it's helping you guys is so helpful.

812
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 1: I'm not going to read those messages because they're very

813
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:33,719
Speaker 1: private and involve other people's stories and so that doesn't

814
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:36,799
Speaker 1: feel right. But I just want to acknowledge that, after

815
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:40,759
Speaker 1: all my bitching this last hour, that those do those

816
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:45,280
Speaker 1: keep me going, especially amongst um just life in general,

817
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 1: being vulnerable, working through what I'm working through, and then

818
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 1: sometimes I get a feeling like you're drowning in the negativity.

819
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:52,719
Speaker 1: It's also a part of my number, which is the four.

820
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 1: There could be eight hundred positive emails in the one

821
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 1: that one that I wrote back to see she like

822
00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:01,880
Speaker 1: haunted me. So I'm working that too. Um, Chip, do

823
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 1: you have any sounding off remarks? You know, there's another

824
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 1: week of this month. It's an interesting month, five Friday months.

825
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 1: So we actually jumped the gun on this. I didn't

826
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:16,840
Speaker 1: realize that as you guys next week though, don't know

827
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:20,320
Speaker 1: what will come with yet. I actually have an idea

828
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 1: that okay, um, I have no sage advice or closing

829
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:30,479
Speaker 1: remarks closing almost closing ceremonies. Well, I just started singing

830
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:32,680
Speaker 1: a song and you're like, what, You're the only song

831
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 1: you would sing as the French not give us the

832
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 1: first I'm like tongue tied today. You've had a long day.

833
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 1: I've had a very long day. I can't wait till

834
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 1: you tell the people what's been going on for you.

835
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 1: Very excited. Well, my closing remarks are going to be

836
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,279
Speaker 1: as you guys go into this weekend and you're living

837
00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:50,880
Speaker 1: on the edge. I hope you always remember to act casual.

838
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,240
Speaker 1: Getting really good. That was really good Bye,