1 00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:04,200 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:08,240 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:11,920 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey, s M. And 4 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:15,240 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read 6 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now today. Yeah, buggle up 7 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 1: and hold on tight. We got it for you here. 8 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 1: It is a Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subjects Living 9 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: with another Man's wife to Stephen Shirley. I've been married 10 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 1: a little over a year now and this is my 11 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: second marriage. Since the wedding, my husband and I have 12 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:38,919 Speaker 1: been searching for a new church home that we mutually 13 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: agreed on. We visited churches and settled at a church 14 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 1: close to our home with a good, stern pastor. We 15 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: loved his preaching style and felt really welcome there until 16 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 1: one Sunday when the pastor's message was so crazy that 17 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:58,320 Speaker 1: it sent my husband into a frenzy. The pastor preached 18 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 1: about marriage and stated that anyone that has been married 19 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 1: more than once is going straight to hell if the 20 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 1: person gets and if the person gets remarried, the new 21 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 1: spouse is going to hell. Too. Pastor said that God 22 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,479 Speaker 1: only recognizes one marriage and there is no such thing 23 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: as divorce. Ever, my husband took the message literally and 24 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 1: on the way home, he said the pastor was speaking 25 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 1: directly from the Bible. I showed my husband the exact 26 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,319 Speaker 1: scripture in the Bible, and it didn't say anything about 27 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 1: anyone burning in hell. Even still, my husband believed what 28 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 1: the pastor said, and he told me he had a 29 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: bad feeling about me on our wedding day. So that 30 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: must have been why I was blindsided because I thought 31 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 1: our marriage was great and he was happy with me. 32 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 1: My husband's distanced himself from me and we stopped having 33 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 1: any type of intimacy. I refused to go back to 34 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: the church, but my husband loves it. The final straw 35 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 1: was last week when he came home and said the 36 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: pastor asked him if he was still living with another 37 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:09,640 Speaker 1: man's wife. I gave my husband an ultimatum to either 38 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 1: leave the church or leave our home. Because of this 39 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 1: wacky pastor, my marriage is in shambles. I want to 40 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: get my marriage back on track, but I don't know 41 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:21,680 Speaker 1: how is this worth fighting for or is my husband 42 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: losing his mind like the pastor. Please help. Well, I 43 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:31,520 Speaker 1: mean this is only worth huh. Yeah, this is a 44 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,839 Speaker 1: good letter. This is a really good letter. You ask 45 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 1: if this is worth fighting for it, I'd say it's 46 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,640 Speaker 1: worth fighting for it if you want to save your marriage. 47 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,800 Speaker 1: You said you want to to to set your marriage 48 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 1: back on track. The problem is you can't be the 49 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: only one fighting in a two person marriage. You just can't. 50 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: Your husband doesn't seem to want anything like that. He 51 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 1: has distanced himself from you. You've stopped having any type 52 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: of end him asse. Your husband loves this church with 53 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: this crazy pastor, and the pastor is all up in 54 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: your marriage too. You were right to give your husband 55 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: an ultimatum in this case either leave the church or 56 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: or leave your home. And your marriage is in shambles 57 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:20,280 Speaker 1: because your husband is following this pastor and not following 58 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 1: God as he should and as the Bible states. So 59 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: is this worth fighting for I would say no at 60 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: this point, because your husband even said he had a 61 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,919 Speaker 1: bad feeling about you on his wedding day. All right, 62 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: this is not good. Okay for any marriage that's trying 63 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 1: to survive. This is not good. Your husband needs to 64 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: be with this pastor apparently in this church because that 65 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 1: sounds like he wants where he wants to be and 66 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 1: not with you in this marriage and fighting for this marriage. 67 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 1: I don't think you have anything to fight for here, Steve. Wow, 68 00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 1: this letter right here suggestion not good. You've been married 69 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:07,119 Speaker 1: a little over a year now. Uh, this is your 70 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 1: your husband's second marriage, and this is my husband's second marriage. 71 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: We've been searched for a new church home we mutually 72 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: agreed upon. I guess so y'all both met the pastor 73 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: here and thought it was cool to the sermon. We 74 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: love just preaching style felt really good to one Sunday 75 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 1: the pastor's message through your husband into something. The pastor 76 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 1: told about marriage and stated that anybody that's been married 77 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 1: more than once, it's going straight to hell. This part 78 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:54,840 Speaker 1: of the letter affected me deeply. Yeah, part of the 79 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 1: letter affected me deeply. And I can't go on right 80 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 1: now because this man, this pens to sid and stated 81 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: that anyone that has been married more than once, it's 82 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 1: going straight to hell. That's messed up past him. Yeah, 83 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: that's messed up because right now three of us on 84 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:32,480 Speaker 1: this show is gone. Yeah, that's why I thought it 85 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 1: was just three of us to be married more than 86 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:39,839 Speaker 1: once me, you and Jake. So we're gone. That's disheartening. 87 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,919 Speaker 1: Trying to be a better person and a better Christian. 88 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: Now you just told me I don't care what I do. 89 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 1: I'm going to hell. So there is no forgiveness, there's 90 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 1: no mercy, there's more, there's no grace, there is no 91 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:03,719 Speaker 1: he died for sense. It ain't none of that. All 92 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 1: of y'all has been married more than one going straight 93 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:15,919 Speaker 1: to Haley Hall. I want to say, that's all I 94 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,840 Speaker 1: got for this letter, but I gotta do some more. 95 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: Straight to hell pass and said that God only recognizes 96 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:30,279 Speaker 1: one marriage, and there's no sense thing as divorced. Okay, cool, 97 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 1: Let's say God only recognize one man. Can I pick 98 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 1: the one he look at? I'm with you on that one, Steve, 99 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 1: when you're right, yeah, let's go all right, listen, we'll 100 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 1: have just hold it right there, Steve. We'll have part 101 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:48,239 Speaker 1: two of your response coming up at twenty three minutes 102 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:52,600 Speaker 1: after the hour, subject living with another man's wife coming 103 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:58,039 Speaker 1: up right after this. You're listening to show, all right, Steve, 104 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:02,000 Speaker 1: come on, let's recap today's strawberry. I guess we're in 105 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 1: hell right now. Subjects living with another man's wife living 106 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 1: with another man's wife. Here's this woman been married to 107 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: this man a little over a year, and they struggle 108 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 1: trying to find themself a nice little church home. So 109 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 1: they finally found one that they agreed on and settle 110 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 1: that church close to their house. A good stern pastor. 111 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: We loved his preaching style and said it felt really welcome. Now, 112 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: well to one Sunday the pastor metsum was so crazy, 113 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 1: sent your husband into a frenzy. The pastor preacher about 114 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 1: marriage and stated that anybody that has been married more 115 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 1: than once is going to hell. And the person gets remarried, 116 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 1: the new spouse is going to hell too, or we'll 117 00:07:53,520 --> 00:08:02,679 Speaker 1: damn you can't get fast and steal. Yeah, damn man. 118 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 1: I'm just sitting there, you know, I let him into 119 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: my life, my heart, feeling pretty strong about myself, getting 120 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 1: myself together spiritually, and you just told me I'm going 121 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: to hell anyway, Well passed it. That's where you're wrong, 122 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 1: because you don't know about God's mercy, his acts of forgiveness, 123 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: and you don't think that he puts into a counter 124 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: fact that we maybe we make mistakes, that people have 125 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:35,080 Speaker 1: a chance to get over their mistakes. Well, your husband 126 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,160 Speaker 1: took the message literally, and on the way home, he 127 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: said the past was speaking directly from the Bible. I 128 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: showed my husband the exact scripture in the Bible. It 129 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 1: didn't say anything about anybody burning in hell. Even still, 130 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,560 Speaker 1: my husband leave that. The pastor said. He told me 131 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 1: he had a bad feeling about me on our wedding day. 132 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 1: Ain't been married over a year, he told his wife 133 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: after going to this crazy church, I had a bad 134 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 1: feeling about us on that wedding day, and then saying so, 135 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: that must have been why I was blindsided because I 136 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 1: thought our marriage was great. He was happy with me. 137 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 1: My husband distance itself for me and we stopped having 138 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,480 Speaker 1: it to any type of intimacy. I refused to go 139 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 1: back to the church, but my husband loves it final strong. 140 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,240 Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell I gotta tell you something you don't 141 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:38,520 Speaker 1: the relationship you would just do it don't seem real. Healthy, 142 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: ain't the word for it. I just think he can 143 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 1: I tell you what I think. Yes, I think your 144 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 1: husband was just looking for out man. I think he 145 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 1: was just looking for an out. I think he was 146 00:09:55,920 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 1: unhappy and found a way. She he listened to the path. 147 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 1: And that's saying, if you've been in one argument and 148 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:13,560 Speaker 1: you've remarried, you're going to hell. Now that's alarming. So 149 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,960 Speaker 1: but that you have it, that's it. I can't I 150 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 1: can't really, I can't really say anything because it doesn't 151 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: make any sense. What churches it out. Yeah, it's the 152 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:27,640 Speaker 1: wrong church man. God is a forgiving god, even with 153 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 1: his commandments, He's still a forgiving God. Yes, yes, and 154 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,720 Speaker 1: we're underground. I just don't believe that a person can 155 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,040 Speaker 1: make a mistake, ask for forgiveness, recovering, and now you 156 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,840 Speaker 1: can't go to heaven because you've been mad more than 157 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 1: one man in hell a long time again, yeah, since 158 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 1: two seven. If you if you get married more than 159 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,200 Speaker 1: once and you're going to hell, does your exes go 160 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 1: to hell too? Because I told him to go to hell? 161 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 1: We got divorced? When you get that? Yeah, yes, yeah, okay, 162 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 1: I'm just cleaning it up. Yah, yeah, any I deal 163 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:27,360 Speaker 1: with this new breaking news. I crowded hell. Okay, it's 164 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:32,680 Speaker 1: gonna be some pastors, but there's gonna be a lot 165 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 1: of pastors down there. I know a lot of pastors 166 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 1: that's gotten divorces. Yeah, that's probably want to hear this. 167 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 1: Damn him, you pastor. Yeah yeah, And the Bible clearly 168 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,319 Speaker 1: states don't don't follow man. You know, you got for 169 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 1: God's power, you know, not man's wisdom. Come on. But 170 00:11:54,800 --> 00:12:12,960 Speaker 1: it does explain why Jesus never got married. He was saying, Jesus, wow, yeah, yeah, 171 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:19,280 Speaker 1: he found it. When the pastor came up with it's 172 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,959 Speaker 1: a bad much. He found it out. That was it. 173 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,160 Speaker 1: He found out. But he found the most sex and 174 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,280 Speaker 1: all that stuff. Yeah yeah, he still but he found 175 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 1: it out and he gonna ride that out. Now they 176 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:34,200 Speaker 1: ain't having sex. He having sex somewhere. He had a 177 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:41,880 Speaker 1: bad feeling about me on our wedding day out all right, 178 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,960 Speaker 1: Thank you guys. Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter 179 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:49,160 Speaker 1: and Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. And don't 180 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,959 Speaker 1: forgot to check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. 181 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 1: You're listening