1 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:09,160 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,960 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:24,600 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners. It 6 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,560 Speaker 1: is so great to have you here back for another episode, 7 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: a super super exciting episode because we are being joined 8 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,639 Speaker 1: by an incredible guest who I will let interest introduce 9 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:46,160 Speaker 1: herself in just a second. But today we're going to 10 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 1: talk about dating in your twenties. It's a bit of 11 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:53,639 Speaker 1: a series and that we've been doing on the podcast recently, 12 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: but today I really want to dive into knowing your worth, 13 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 1: dealing with rejection and moving on, and I thought who 14 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:08,839 Speaker 1: better to come on and share their wisdom than lists 15 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 1: from the Date Yourself Instead podcast. Hello, how are you? 16 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 1: You're making me smile so much. I love her, I 17 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 1: love your intro. You have such a soothing, calming voice. 18 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:24,199 Speaker 1: I feel like you have like an amazing podcast voice. 19 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:27,400 Speaker 1: And thank you so much for having me on the podcast. 20 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: I am such a fan of yours. I found you 21 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,760 Speaker 1: while I was scrolling through Spotify one day and I 22 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,600 Speaker 1: was looking for a new podcast that kind of had 23 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: the same feel of mine, like self help, self love, 24 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: self care, and I found your podcasts and I started 25 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: listening to this, and I was like, I would get 26 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: along with this girl. She seems amazing. Oh my goodness, 27 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 1: And I feel like we do before we even hit record. 28 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,960 Speaker 1: We're just like having a bit of a bit of 29 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: a yarn, like having a bit of a chit chat 30 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 1: about everything and anything. So it was it was the 31 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: intersection of worlds that needed to happen. Yes, I'm so excited. 32 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: I messaged you. I message herma on Instagram and I 33 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,079 Speaker 1: was like, I don't know if she's going to answer, 34 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:13,360 Speaker 1: because I feel like her podcast is better than mine. Oh, 35 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 1: I don't know about that. There's no competition right now. 36 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:20,679 Speaker 1: I'm kidding, but honestly, like I really love your content 37 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:25,399 Speaker 1: and like the message you spread to everyone. And yeah, 38 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: I just I love everything that you're doing. So I 39 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 1: am honored to be on your podcast today. Oh and 40 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,519 Speaker 1: you know what, the feeling is so mutual. I feel 41 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 1: like we're just having a little bit of a hype 42 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,680 Speaker 1: circle here where we're just like we love each other. 43 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: But it's true, like if you haven't well for people 44 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 1: who haven't listened to your show. I feel like a 45 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,919 Speaker 1: lot of people who listen to the Psychology of Your 46 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:50,640 Speaker 1: Twenties would get a lot out of Date Yourself Instead. 47 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,839 Speaker 1: Do you want to kind of talk about what kind 48 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 1: of episodes you do, what you guys talk about over 49 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:02,640 Speaker 1: on your show, Yeah, for sure. So I started the podcast. 50 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,799 Speaker 1: It's called Date Yourself Instead, and I started it right 51 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 1: after a really bad breakup that I went through last year, 52 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: and it took so much out of me, Like I 53 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: felt like my life had completely fallen apart, and I 54 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: was so dependent on this relationship to get me through 55 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 1: my day. I was very dependent on it to make 56 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,520 Speaker 1: me feel good about myself. And I realized when we 57 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 1: had broken up that I didn't know who I was 58 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:32,639 Speaker 1: and I felt really lost and confused. So I eventually, 59 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 1: after I went through the healing process, of course, I 60 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: came up with this idea called Date Yourself Instead, and 61 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 1: I started really working on myself and building myself back 62 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: up again, and I decided to I decided that I 63 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 1: wanted to also spread this message to other people that 64 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: were going through similar things that I was going through, 65 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 1: and what better way to do that than a podcast, 66 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 1: So it became I started one episode in the midst 67 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: of my breakup, and I realized that it was what 68 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 1: I wanted to do, Like I just wanted to help 69 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 1: other women and men and anyone else that's going through 70 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: a breakup. So a lot of my contents dedicated to healing, 71 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 1: becoming the best version of yourself, and dating yourself. I 72 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: love it. I feel like we need more content like that. 73 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 1: What was the Do you remember what the first episode 74 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,600 Speaker 1: was on? I feel like there must have been. I 75 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,279 Speaker 1: also started my show after a breakup. I feel like 76 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: that's like, I don't know, like it really pushes you, 77 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: like it triggers you to take action. It does actually, 78 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: like I always say that a breakup is actually kind 79 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:45,040 Speaker 1: of sacred because normally you identify and find these entirely 80 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 1: new opportunities that you've been entirely and completely blind to 81 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 1: up until that point. But it's like in a breakup, right, 82 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,560 Speaker 1: there's like this desperation to reclaim parts of your identity 83 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: that you feel have been like co opted by that 84 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: other person. And started a podcast. It's a great way 85 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,120 Speaker 1: to do that because your voice is kind of the 86 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: only one that matters. But you also get to really 87 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 1: step into yourself and really, I don't know if you 88 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: find this, but you really have to contemplate the things 89 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 1: that you're talking about and come to the table with 90 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 1: some form of like mature thinking about it. So it 91 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: kind of allows you to undertake your grieving process and 92 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:27,680 Speaker 1: your healing process in a place of almost accountability. I 93 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:30,239 Speaker 1: don't know, is that what you kind of found. I 94 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: a hundred percent agree with that. While I was going 95 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,040 Speaker 1: through all these emotions and I was at my worst, 96 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,920 Speaker 1: like I was literally at the lowest point of my life, 97 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:44,400 Speaker 1: I realized that if I wanted to help other people 98 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,039 Speaker 1: and create this content, I needed to be held accountable 99 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:50,920 Speaker 1: and actually follow what I was saying. So a lot 100 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 1: of the time I would be recording episodes and I'd 101 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: be going through certain things, and I felt like, in 102 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 1: a way it was like therapy for me because I 103 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:03,040 Speaker 1: was going through similar things that my audience is going 104 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 1: through and I was able to speak on it. But 105 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 1: it was also really healing. And yeah, I mean, I 106 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: think when you're forced to kind of speak about it 107 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: and make content about it, it kind of helps you 108 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 1: in the healing process. Yeah, I can only imagine, well, 109 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 1: I can only imagine, but I've also experienced that, and 110 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,160 Speaker 1: I do think it's one of such a beautiful, beautiful 111 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:29,480 Speaker 1: way to connect with others. Was there any like I 112 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 1: was there like a turning point episode that you did 113 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,839 Speaker 1: when you were like, oh, I'm actually coming through this, 114 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 1: Like I can see that the person that I was 115 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 1: when I first started this show in a point of 116 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 1: probably grief and just like total confusion, has now evolved. Yeah. 117 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:51,800 Speaker 1: I definitely think after starting the podcast, I started talking 118 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,840 Speaker 1: about more than just breakups, just stepping into your power 119 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 1: and knowing your worth, which obviously we're going to talk 120 00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 1: about today, which is super exciting. Just knowing your value. 121 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:05,839 Speaker 1: And self love is not just about you know, working 122 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: out and I guess like doing a self care day. 123 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: It's not really about those surface level things. I guess 124 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: if I don't know, I don't know the right word 125 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,480 Speaker 1: to call it, Like I don't know if it's surface 126 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 1: level or it's more like physical actions, Like those things 127 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 1: help and they supplement self love. But true self love 128 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: is really like inner work. You know, it's actually looking 129 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: within yourself when you're alone and you're not distracted by 130 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 1: any external things. And I think the how to take 131 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 1: your power back after a breakup. Episode really kind of 132 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:40,119 Speaker 1: opened my eyes to a lot of different things about 133 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 1: it's not just you know, going for a run and 134 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: clearing your head and talking to a friend. It's really 135 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: looking within yourself and understanding your value as a human 136 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: being and understanding that if it didn't work out with someone, 137 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 1: that doesn't take away from who you are, and that 138 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: doesn't make you any less of a person. And for 139 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: the longest time, I would beat myself up over a 140 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,800 Speaker 1: relationship not working, and I would beat myself up over 141 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 1: mistakes that I meet in relationships. And yeah, that episode, 142 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:12,680 Speaker 1: I think really covers a lot of that. There's a 143 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:15,240 Speaker 1: few I'm sure, Yeah, I'll have to listen to that. 144 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: I have to say I haven't been through a breakup 145 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 1: anytime recently, although I do still think it would apply 146 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 1: to my general dating history, so maybe I've definitely go 147 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: back and listen to that. But I feel like you 148 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 1: just mentioned it. It's a great segue, Like one of 149 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: the things I really wanted to kind of discuss today 150 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:38,200 Speaker 1: was self worth and kind of your twenties self worth 151 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: and dating, self worth and relationships, And I feel like 152 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 1: it is such an intricate interaction between how we feel 153 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,200 Speaker 1: about ourselves, which, as you and I both know, is 154 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 1: not something that is surface level by any means. It 155 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 1: takes a lot of hard work, it takes a lot 156 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: of honesty, it sometimes takes a lot of pain. But 157 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 1: our self worth really does have this like kind of 158 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,960 Speaker 1: bled on impact on who we choose today, how we 159 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 1: approach dating, how we approach rejection, how we approach even 160 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: breakups as well. So I kind of was like, I 161 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,840 Speaker 1: want to hear your perspective on this, both anecdotal and 162 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 1: from i'm sure like people who have messaged you and 163 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: research that you've done in the past. Yeah, for sure. 164 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:29,679 Speaker 1: I think self worth and self love it needs to 165 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,840 Speaker 1: be the focus of your life in order to attract 166 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: healthier relationships. And we're not taught this when we're younger. 167 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 1: I mean, at least I wasn't taught this. Some people 168 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,680 Speaker 1: have really healthy upbringing, so I'm not going to speak 169 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:46,920 Speaker 1: on it like everyone's experience, but my experience, and I 170 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,439 Speaker 1: a lot of other people that I'm sure can relate 171 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 1: to this, My childhood was not emotionally fulfilling in the 172 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: way I think that I needed. And it wasn't you know, 173 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 1: I'm not blaming my parents. I'm not laming other people, 174 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 1: because everyone's just doing their best and my parents love me. 175 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 1: But I just maybe I didn't really get the love 176 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,240 Speaker 1: and validation I needed, and it kind of bled into 177 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,319 Speaker 1: the rest of my relationships as I started getting older, 178 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:17,679 Speaker 1: and it affected my level of self worth and self love. 179 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: So I would attract all these men into my life 180 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 1: that didn't value me. And I really believe that you 181 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 1: mirror your partners. I believe that you attract who you 182 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,720 Speaker 1: are in a way and at what phase of life 183 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:35,840 Speaker 1: you're in. So when I didn't love myself, I would 184 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:39,439 Speaker 1: attract people who really didn't see my worth at all. 185 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:43,839 Speaker 1: And I think that's a key thing to note when 186 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:47,160 Speaker 1: you're exploring this concept of self love and self worth, 187 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:51,280 Speaker 1: is that you kind of attract who you are, So 188 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 1: in order to attract someone who's right for you and 189 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 1: healthy for you, it's important to channel all your energy 190 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: in words and really work on yourself before you jump 191 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 1: into a relationship, as I've learned the hard way. Oh, 192 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,360 Speaker 1: I agree as well. I feel like it is there 193 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 1: are two kind of schools of thought on that, like 194 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,440 Speaker 1: you need to be healed before you can love, or 195 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 1: you can be healed by love. I definitely fall more 196 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:17,760 Speaker 1: into like the first camp of like you need to 197 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 1: heal before you can love. And I think I had 198 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 1: a similar experience where growing up, like I was always 199 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 1: kind of the ugly kid or like the fat kid 200 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 1: or the strange child. At least it's like, oh, but 201 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:35,199 Speaker 1: it's true, and I fucking love that little version of me, 202 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 1: like she was just having the best time ever, but 203 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,719 Speaker 1: at times she also wasn't because it was like I 204 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: wasn't very accepted. I always felt like I had to 205 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:48,040 Speaker 1: change something about myself in order to fit in, or 206 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 1: I never really felt that my worth was something that 207 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,280 Speaker 1: other people could see and I had to make that 208 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:59,079 Speaker 1: really obvious to them by being super generous or like 209 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 1: changing something about myself or yeah, whatever kind of behavior 210 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: it was. And I think it's not always acknowledged that 211 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 1: your early childhood experiences, like you said, are so fundamental 212 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 1: and almost determined so much of how we see ourselves 213 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,760 Speaker 1: moving forward. And I think there was like this point 214 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,679 Speaker 1: in my late teens, like nineteen or twenty years old, 215 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,679 Speaker 1: where I was just like, oh my god, I have 216 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 1: spent my entire life feeling like I do not deserve love. 217 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 1: I do not deserve compassion. I do not deserve deep, 218 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 1: meaningful relationships and friendship. And I kind of like surveyed 219 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: the landscape of fallen partners and previous boyfriends and was like, Wow, 220 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: all of these people treated me exactly how I was 221 00:12:55,440 --> 00:13:00,600 Speaker 1: asking to be treated. Because when you really don't see 222 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 1: yourself as being worth much, the bar is so low, 223 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 1: and you accept that treatment because you believe that you 224 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 1: deserve it. Like, what's that quote from Perks of being 225 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,320 Speaker 1: a Wallflower? I know it's such a common one, but 226 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:17,079 Speaker 1: like you, we accept the love we think we deserve. Yeah, 227 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:21,719 Speaker 1: I've heard that before. That's a good one. Yeah, it's 228 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:25,240 Speaker 1: like kind of cliche, but it's also I think as 229 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,600 Speaker 1: you get older you realize it it's quite true. Would 230 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 1: you say, I definitely agree with that. And also back 231 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 1: to what you had said earlier that stuck out to 232 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 1: me about the two different points of view where you 233 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:39,679 Speaker 1: know you can be healed by love or you need 234 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,960 Speaker 1: to heal before you dive into a relationship. Whatever it is. 235 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 1: I think it's obviously a case by Kate's situation, but 236 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: I did have an experience once where I came out 237 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:54,680 Speaker 1: of an abusive relationship with someone that called me all 238 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:58,199 Speaker 1: sorts of things and it was not healthy at all whatsoever. 239 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:03,480 Speaker 1: And two days later I met this guy that actually 240 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:08,000 Speaker 1: took me into his world and told me how beautiful 241 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:11,360 Speaker 1: I was, and he helped me on my healing journey. 242 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 1: So I will say that there's two sides to it. 243 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,600 Speaker 1: I don't think you need to be completely healed one 244 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 1: hundred percent, because we all go through shit. We're human beings. 245 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 1: We're never going to have this. Nothing is ever perfect, 246 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 1: so you're never going to be fully healed one hundred 247 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,840 Speaker 1: percent of the time. And as you get older you 248 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,040 Speaker 1: realize that too. Is like you're always going to have 249 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,640 Speaker 1: highs and lows and that's just a part of life. 250 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,600 Speaker 1: So I wouldn't say you need to be fully healed, 251 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 1: but I think you do need to develop a sense 252 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:44,080 Speaker 1: of self worth and know your value. And I think 253 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:47,120 Speaker 1: those are two kind of separate things. Yeah, I would 254 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 1: actually agree, And I think it also comes to the 255 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 1: point of acknowledging your self worth is kind of the 256 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 1: first step on a long journey and perhaps one of 257 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: the most crucial, especially if you're someone who finds themselves 258 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: in very similar relationships time after time. It might be 259 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 1: worth examining what the root cause of that is, because 260 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,480 Speaker 1: obviously you've learned the lesson. You don't need to go 261 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,600 Speaker 1: through another shitty relationship, you don't need to go through 262 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 1: another awful experience, so examining what it might be. You know, 263 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 1: obviously there are some people out there who are just 264 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 1: really awful, narcissistic people who are never going to change. 265 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 1: It's not your fault that they treated you like that, 266 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 1: but it is worth examining, like, oh, why is it 267 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: that I tolerate this behavior, or why is it that 268 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,880 Speaker 1: I find this attractive? Or why do I keep ending 269 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,040 Speaker 1: up in these situations where I know that I don't 270 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,880 Speaker 1: feel valued and I know that i'm these people do 271 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 1: not deserve me. Yeah, for sure, I think we often 272 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,400 Speaker 1: tend to attract the same type of people over and 273 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 1: over again if we haven't learned the lesson and we 274 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 1: haven't looked within our elves. And it's back to the 275 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 1: whole concept of really learning about self love. It's not 276 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: about going and having a spa day all the time, 277 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 1: even though those things are nice to make you feel 278 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 1: good in the moment. Long term, how are you going 279 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,240 Speaker 1: to change and do the inner work in order to 280 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:18,440 Speaker 1: change your style of relationships. You want to hear something 281 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:22,560 Speaker 1: really crazy? Yeah, of course, yes, please. I don't think 282 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:27,600 Speaker 1: I've ever said this anywhere, but I'm gonna say it now. 283 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 1: So I've had back to back relationships, three relationships in 284 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:38,000 Speaker 1: a row with people who were super religious, and it 285 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 1: caused problems in all of them because the religion was 286 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,720 Speaker 1: always the divider between us. It was like a common 287 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 1: I felt like it was a karmic lesson of some 288 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:53,440 Speaker 1: sort because it was three back to back. No one, 289 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 1: I've never met anyone who's gotten themselves in a situation 290 00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 1: like this before. I don't think I have ida this 291 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 1: is very unique. Yeah, I feel like it's a very 292 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:08,120 Speaker 1: unique story that I'll eventually share in more detail publicly. 293 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,359 Speaker 1: I think I just held off on it because I'm 294 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:13,480 Speaker 1: still trying to figure out the root cause of how 295 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,200 Speaker 1: that could happen. And I've done a lot of research 296 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 1: on karmic relationships and karmic ties and how you keep 297 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,560 Speaker 1: meeting the same person in a different physical body over 298 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,760 Speaker 1: and over again until you learn the lesson. I think 299 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,760 Speaker 1: that's a very maybe too spiritual and deep take on this. 300 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,480 Speaker 1: But I feel like part of my journey in this 301 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 1: lifetime is to learn that lesson and work on that 302 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,200 Speaker 1: part of myself. That's something that I'm working on right now. 303 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,880 Speaker 1: I just thought it kind of tied into the whole 304 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,359 Speaker 1: idea of attracting the same person over and over again. 305 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:50,320 Speaker 1: It's pretty wild. That is insane that that happened, and 306 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:54,160 Speaker 1: honestly evidence in itself, it's a comic lesson, right It's 307 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,920 Speaker 1: the universe trying to direct you on a different path 308 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:02,360 Speaker 1: at this point. Are you religious at all? Like, very intensely, 309 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:06,720 Speaker 1: I am not even no. I mean, there's nothing wrong 310 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 1: with being religious, but I didn't grow up with I 311 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:14,840 Speaker 1: was raised Catholic, but I'm not. I don't define myself 312 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 1: as religious, and I'm spiritual. I believe in a higher power, 313 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,199 Speaker 1: but I don't think too deeply into things. I just 314 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 1: trust that the universes they were guiding me. And there's 315 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:31,399 Speaker 1: nothing wrong with being religious. I was very drawn into 316 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:35,520 Speaker 1: people who were religious, maybe because I was constantly seeking 317 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 1: new information, new perspectives, new beliefs. I love meeting people 318 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,600 Speaker 1: from different backgrounds and different cultures than me, so I 319 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,440 Speaker 1: think that ties in a lot to my identity. And 320 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:50,639 Speaker 1: I've always seen myself marrying someone of a different culture. 321 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,959 Speaker 1: I don't know why. I'm just drawn to people who 322 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,200 Speaker 1: are different. So I think that ties a lot into 323 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,919 Speaker 1: these people that I'm attracting. Like maybe I should, you know, 324 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,840 Speaker 1: get to the bottom of why I need someone that's 325 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 1: impossible to be with im. Well, that's what I was thinking. 326 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 1: I was like, how did you even meet these people? 327 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,879 Speaker 1: Like how like were you how did you find them? Like? 328 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,640 Speaker 1: Why was this repeating um? Because I was like, if 329 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,520 Speaker 1: you're if you were someone who was like, oh, I'm 330 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,880 Speaker 1: deeply Christian, I'd be like, okay, that makes sense. But 331 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,960 Speaker 1: the way that you put that initially, being like I've 332 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 1: had these relationships with three people back to back who 333 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:31,040 Speaker 1: were super religious, kind of it was like insinuated that 334 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:35,080 Speaker 1: you weren't. So that's actually such a good explanation. Maybe 335 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 1: it's self sabotage. My therapist said this to me yesterday, 336 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:42,119 Speaker 1: Because I do. I not as not as like crazy 337 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:46,439 Speaker 1: coincidence as you. But I've just like had these relationships 338 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,959 Speaker 1: back to back where it has started and ended the 339 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:53,840 Speaker 1: exact same way. They've all been these like situation ships 340 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,360 Speaker 1: where like three months in I realized that this person 341 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,640 Speaker 1: doesn't want commitment. They've all been with like guys who 342 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,720 Speaker 1: like I need to mother in some way, who are 343 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,320 Speaker 1: not capable of taking care of themselves, like either I'm 344 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,680 Speaker 1: teaching them how to drive, or like they're really lonely 345 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,600 Speaker 1: in a new city, or I'm like teaching them this 346 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 1: or that or need financial support, and they're all exactly 347 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:21,000 Speaker 1: the same. It's like ridiculous. Wow, that's I know, it's 348 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,800 Speaker 1: so sad. That can be draining on a person too, 349 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:29,520 Speaker 1: if you're mothering people in relationships. Oh yeah, I was 350 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:33,120 Speaker 1: like it was a lot, But I think it's interesting 351 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:35,480 Speaker 1: what you said about, like, what's the lesson I need 352 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,639 Speaker 1: to learn here? And I do believe that the universe 353 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,160 Speaker 1: will keep sending you the same person until you've learned 354 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:46,920 Speaker 1: that lesson. Oh yeah, I'm a product of that. I'm 355 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:50,000 Speaker 1: a case I'm a case study. I really do believe 356 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:54,159 Speaker 1: that we attract certain people in our life based on 357 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,919 Speaker 1: lessons we need to learn. And that doesn't mean you 358 00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:00,480 Speaker 1: can't end up together whoever you're if you're dating someone now, 359 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 1: it's not always you know, the lesson is you got 360 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,639 Speaker 1: to learn this and then you're done. Sometimes it's just 361 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:09,640 Speaker 1: about meeting people to level up and grow. And if 362 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 1: you grow with someone and you grow with a partner. 363 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,159 Speaker 1: That's the best benefit of being in a relationship, in 364 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,399 Speaker 1: my opinion, is learning more about yourself, learning lessons, and 365 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:22,720 Speaker 1: growing and evolving as a person. So it's not all bad, 366 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,560 Speaker 1: you know. I did learn a lot. I did take 367 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:28,160 Speaker 1: a lot from these relationships. But yeah, it was the 368 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:35,119 Speaker 1: same situation over and over again, and part of me 369 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:39,399 Speaker 1: wonders if it was fully in my control. Because you 370 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,760 Speaker 1: can't really help who you have a connection with. You 371 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,360 Speaker 1: can't really help who you fall in love with. I've 372 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,000 Speaker 1: learned that the hard way. I resisted the last guy 373 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,200 Speaker 1: I was with I found out he was religious. It's 374 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,359 Speaker 1: not like I was like, all right, I'm on board. 375 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,120 Speaker 1: I hesitated so much, and I resisted it for so 376 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,640 Speaker 1: long because I said to him, I've already been down 377 00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:00,479 Speaker 1: this road before. This is impossible, this can't work. And 378 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:04,159 Speaker 1: he was so persistent, and he was like, I really 379 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 1: like you and I really wanted you know, he was 380 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:11,280 Speaker 1: promising me all these things, which he was an amazing person. 381 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 1: I have nothing bad to say about him, but the 382 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:16,719 Speaker 1: situation was the same, and I knew it, but yet 383 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:22,080 Speaker 1: I couldn't help myself. I just m there's something about it. 384 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,880 Speaker 1: There is something about it that's really interesting as well, 385 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 1: Like by the third time around, you were like, oh no, no, no, 386 00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:31,959 Speaker 1: like I've done this before, I've been here before, like 387 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:36,280 Speaker 1: a huge instance of like deja vu. How long did 388 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:39,119 Speaker 1: you end up dating him for? The last relationship was 389 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:44,080 Speaker 1: two and a half years. Wow. And yeah. And the 390 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,400 Speaker 1: thing is, he was the best boyfriend I've ever had. 391 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,639 Speaker 1: He was an amazing partner, and he taught me so 392 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,720 Speaker 1: much about self love because in my past relationships I 393 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:56,919 Speaker 1: had been treated badly. So throughout that whole relationship, I 394 00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,800 Speaker 1: think I took so much value with me because he 395 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 1: treated me perfectly. I have nothing bad to say about 396 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 1: him as a person, and it was my worst heartbreak 397 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 1: because he was such an amazing boyfriend and the fact 398 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,639 Speaker 1: that there was this block in between us. There was 399 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,960 Speaker 1: obviously a lot more that I'm not discussing right now 400 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:24,359 Speaker 1: that happened. It was devastating, but also it taught me 401 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:28,399 Speaker 1: so much about who I am and also how I 402 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:32,160 Speaker 1: want to be treated because it's set the standard really high. 403 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,359 Speaker 1: So from this point forward, I'm really grateful that I 404 00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:36,320 Speaker 1: went through that because I know what I want and 405 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,960 Speaker 1: it ties into that whole idea of self worth, like 406 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 1: I know what I want now and I'm not going 407 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:44,760 Speaker 1: to settle for a shitty ass relationship. Yeah, it's just 408 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 1: life is too short. And I think that sometimes it's 409 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 1: actually really ties back into what you were saying around people, 410 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,160 Speaker 1: do you need to be healed to love or can 411 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,000 Speaker 1: love heal you? And I think it is part of 412 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,439 Speaker 1: that rhetoric, right, like, relationship are going to teach you 413 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,879 Speaker 1: things about yourself, and one of those might be what 414 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,320 Speaker 1: your worth is, how you deserve to be treated. And 415 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,040 Speaker 1: it's not like you need a relationship to teach you that. 416 00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: It's not like you can't figure that out for yourself. 417 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:18,320 Speaker 1: But sometimes it is such an intense experience to finally 418 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,679 Speaker 1: be in a situation and be like, Wow, this is 419 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 1: what it is normal, Like this is what I should 420 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:28,439 Speaker 1: be expecting, Like you learn so much about yourself. But 421 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:32,359 Speaker 1: I do also think I do think that you learn 422 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 1: a lot from heartbreak as well. And I would say 423 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:41,439 Speaker 1: that I've learned more about myself in those periods after 424 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 1: a relationship or a situationship has ended then what I've 425 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:49,240 Speaker 1: learned during the relationship, because it puts my whole life 426 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:53,000 Speaker 1: into perspective. I'm kind of like taking a count of 427 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 1: all my lessons, trying to figure out where I stand, 428 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,119 Speaker 1: why it didn't work, and what I want next, Like 429 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,280 Speaker 1: would you say that, obviously I'm astuming this was the 430 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 1: guy behind the reason you started this podcast, right, yes, 431 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,439 Speaker 1: Oh wow, look at that. Yeah, so obviously it was 432 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:14,719 Speaker 1: and it obviously there were a lot of things I 433 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:21,119 Speaker 1: took with a breakup, including being productive, yeah, starting starting 434 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,959 Speaker 1: a new project. And I talk about this on my 435 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:31,320 Speaker 1: podcast as well, about turning pain into creativity. Because if 436 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 1: you're going to take something positive out of a breakup, 437 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,960 Speaker 1: it has to be something that makes you feel good, right, 438 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,520 Speaker 1: So why not start a new project? Why not start 439 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,159 Speaker 1: a new passion project that you've been thinking about and 440 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,679 Speaker 1: holding off on because you were consumed by this relationship. 441 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,280 Speaker 1: Relationships take up a lot of time. I mean from 442 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:54,159 Speaker 1: my experiences, if you have someone constantly coming in and 443 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: out of your life, it can be very time consuming. 444 00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:03,480 Speaker 1: So putting your you're new, I mean, I guess when 445 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:06,080 Speaker 1: you have more time on your hands after a breakup, 446 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,159 Speaker 1: you have more time to get creative and you have 447 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,960 Speaker 1: more time to work on new things. So I started 448 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:15,800 Speaker 1: the podcast. It was a blessing in disguise. I say, yeah, 449 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:19,119 Speaker 1: I agree, and I do think it's like sometimes rejection. 450 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 1: I love this phrase. I know it's like a super 451 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:25,440 Speaker 1: common one, but like rejection is just redirection. And as 452 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:29,679 Speaker 1: I've gotten older, I realized how much that is the case, 453 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:34,200 Speaker 1: Like every relationship that didn't work out has sent me 454 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,959 Speaker 1: to a new place in terms of my personal growth 455 00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,879 Speaker 1: or like you know that my last three people that 456 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:43,320 Speaker 1: I dated, it was like one of them I started 457 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 1: this podcast the next one. I moved to Sydney because 458 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,920 Speaker 1: I was like, I can't be in the same city 459 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:54,320 Speaker 1: as you. So and then like, so where are you living? 460 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,040 Speaker 1: I was living in Canberra most do you know what 461 00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:00,919 Speaker 1: that is? It's like, yeah, so I studied abroad in 462 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:07,119 Speaker 1: Australia for a year. Oh really went in Canberra? No? No, no, um? 463 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,719 Speaker 1: I was in Bundura, Bundura. I don't even do you 464 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 1: know where that I live here? And I don't even 465 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:20,680 Speaker 1: know if that is okay. So this is so embarrassing. 466 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,760 Speaker 1: But and I don't want to go off to topic. 467 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:28,879 Speaker 1: But I didn't do any research before I went to Australia, 468 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,840 Speaker 1: like a fool. I don't know why I didn't ask 469 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:36,200 Speaker 1: someone for help and I booked this university called Latrobe 470 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,480 Speaker 1: in the middle of absolutely nowhere. It's literally in the 471 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:42,040 Speaker 1: middle of nowhere. It's on a farm in Bundura this 472 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,240 Speaker 1: is that's where. It's an hour outside of Melbourne. So 473 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,720 Speaker 1: I thought I was going to Melbourne. And I got 474 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,200 Speaker 1: there and I was on a farm and I made 475 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:56,399 Speaker 1: a huge mistake. Oh frick, that's not good. I went 476 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,200 Speaker 1: to Sydney for two weeks. I explored Sydney for a bit. 477 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,000 Speaker 1: I did all the major cities and places. I didn't 478 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:07,040 Speaker 1: miss out too much. So yeah, yeah, except for like 479 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:10,439 Speaker 1: all those weeks when you were in the middle of nowhere. Yeah. 480 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 1: I was definitely sad that I made a huge mistake. 481 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:18,240 Speaker 1: But I would travel a lot and I yeah, I was. 482 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,320 Speaker 1: I was all over the place, so it wasn't too bad. 483 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:24,480 Speaker 1: But huge mistake. Lesson learned to do your research before 484 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:28,359 Speaker 1: you go to a new country. Yeah, don't go to Bandora, 485 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,560 Speaker 1: like when the locals don't even know where that is, 486 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:34,240 Speaker 1: then you know that you're in trol that's really that's funny. 487 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,439 Speaker 1: I also grew up in Melbourne, so I should know. 488 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:42,360 Speaker 1: But that's crazy. Um, I don't know how we ended 489 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,880 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, So I used to live in Canberra. 490 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:49,880 Speaker 1: I like, did you need there? And I met this 491 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 1: guy and oh my god, Like my first impression of 492 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,360 Speaker 1: him was like this guy is totally you're totally out 493 00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 1: of his league, like resolutely totally out of this guy's 494 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:06,480 Speaker 1: like and then he kind of just like wore me down. 495 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,640 Speaker 1: One minute. I was like I could never One minute 496 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,240 Speaker 1: I was like like stopped messaging me getting the ink, 497 00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:14,480 Speaker 1: and the next minute I was like and the next 498 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 1: minute I was like madly in love with him, and 499 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,480 Speaker 1: I was like where did how did this happen? Like 500 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:22,560 Speaker 1: this happened like overnight. It was also during COVID lockdown, 501 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:26,360 Speaker 1: so you know, everything's a bit more highened that I 502 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,680 Speaker 1: always call it like COVID goggles. Oh yeah, it was, 503 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,920 Speaker 1: Oh my god, it was totally COVID goggles. I was like, 504 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,640 Speaker 1: oh my god. Because in Australia, like you had you 505 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,080 Speaker 1: could go and see like an intimate partner. So I 506 00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:40,240 Speaker 1: was like, ah, this means I can leave my house 507 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:44,880 Speaker 1: like yes, yeah, but like sorry off track, but that 508 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,520 Speaker 1: relationship is what really pushed me to move to Sydney. 509 00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 1: And I think if I had still been with him 510 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 1: when I was moving, I probably would have moved back 511 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:57,400 Speaker 1: to Canberra because there was just such a pool there, 512 00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,840 Speaker 1: like it was what I knew, but because that RelA 513 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:05,640 Speaker 1: and ship, but because that relationship had ended, I was like, well, 514 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,239 Speaker 1: I guess I gotta I gotta stick it out. And 515 00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:11,640 Speaker 1: then the last one was just someone who taught me 516 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:16,120 Speaker 1: so much around I guess, like we said self worth 517 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:19,640 Speaker 1: and it was like the first person who I was like, wow, 518 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:25,000 Speaker 1: you actually treated me really well and I really liked you, 519 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:29,040 Speaker 1: but this was actually not going to work. And it's 520 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:32,080 Speaker 1: because that I actually need something more from this relationship 521 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,240 Speaker 1: rather than you're just being kind to me. And it 522 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,640 Speaker 1: was one that I realized that like that's the baseline, 523 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,080 Speaker 1: Like that is the bare minimum is to be a 524 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 1: nice guy. I don't need to fall in love with 525 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:46,320 Speaker 1: someone just because they treat me with respect. Oh yeah, 526 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:50,360 Speaker 1: you're so wise. It was your birthday. It was it 527 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:54,480 Speaker 1: was your birthday like today right yesterday? Oh like two 528 00:30:54,520 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 1: days ago? Yeah, well happy around the sun. Thanks? Yeah, 529 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,800 Speaker 1: Like how old did you turn? Twenty three? Yeah? Twenty three, 530 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,960 Speaker 1: so I'm still a baby. No, you're so wise, Like 531 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 1: you definitely had so many pass I believe in past lives. 532 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,280 Speaker 1: Maybe this is a little bit strange, but I think 533 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:16,720 Speaker 1: you can so many past lives because you're just no, 534 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 1: You're so at twenty three, I was still going through 535 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:25,680 Speaker 1: a lot of different experiences and I had no knowledge 536 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:29,400 Speaker 1: of what self love really was. So I'm blown away 537 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:32,160 Speaker 1: by your content and like everything you speak on you're 538 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:38,720 Speaker 1: so smart immature, Like it's I'm thirty, so I like 539 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:41,800 Speaker 1: I've been through you know that from twenty three to thirty, 540 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,440 Speaker 1: I've changed so so much and I've grown so much. 541 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:50,560 Speaker 1: But it's so amazing that you're so young and you've 542 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:55,000 Speaker 1: like you have so much wisdom under under your belt already. Thanks, 543 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,360 Speaker 1: what would well, maybe we can use this as like 544 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:00,719 Speaker 1: oldest sister vibes, Like what advice would you give me? 545 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:05,120 Speaker 1: Now that I'm twenty three, I'm still battling through a 546 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:09,120 Speaker 1: lot of like shitty dating experiences and bad boyfriends and 547 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:13,680 Speaker 1: rejection and hook ups that like you want to be 548 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 1: more but they never eventuate. So what's your like major 549 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:21,680 Speaker 1: lesson that you could share with us? I think a 550 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:25,040 Speaker 1: lot of it comes down to just knowing who you 551 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:29,120 Speaker 1: are and what you stand for outside of anyone else, 552 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:32,040 Speaker 1: whether it's a friendship or a relationship or your parents 553 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,280 Speaker 1: or anyone. Just taking a loane time to know who 554 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,640 Speaker 1: you are is so crucial. As I've gotten older, I've 555 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,400 Speaker 1: realized that when I mesh energies with people and I'm 556 00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:45,080 Speaker 1: surrounding myself with friends and family and relationships all the time, 557 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,200 Speaker 1: I used to lose myself so easily. I used to 558 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 1: give my energy away and my value away so easily 559 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,440 Speaker 1: to people who didn't deserve it. And I always tell people, 560 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,840 Speaker 1: if you're feeling a little bit lost, or you're not 561 00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,720 Speaker 1: sure if someone's right for you, or you're anxious and 562 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:04,880 Speaker 1: your questioning everything, take time alone to really get your 563 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,080 Speaker 1: thoughts in order and actually know what you stand for, 564 00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,520 Speaker 1: what your values are, what you believe in, what your 565 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,400 Speaker 1: boundaries are, what's important to you, Like these are things 566 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:16,160 Speaker 1: in my early twenties I didn't understand. I never had 567 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:20,640 Speaker 1: anyone guiding me, and I would just dive headfirst into 568 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:25,560 Speaker 1: relationships with guys that literally didn't give a shit about me, 569 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:31,160 Speaker 1: and I would spend all my time focusing on that 570 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:35,400 Speaker 1: instead of focusing on myself. So I think that's my 571 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:39,400 Speaker 1: best advice. I hope that answered that question. I've just rambled, 572 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:45,480 Speaker 1: But just taking time for you and really knowing who 573 00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,840 Speaker 1: you are as a person, knowing your identity is going 574 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:49,560 Speaker 1: to save you a lot of time and a lot 575 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:55,040 Speaker 1: of heartbreak, because now now at thirty, I won't tolerate 576 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,440 Speaker 1: anything less than what I deserve, and I know what 577 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:02,640 Speaker 1: I deserve now. And I also will say, don't be 578 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,200 Speaker 1: too hard on yourself, because you kind of need to 579 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,800 Speaker 1: go through shitty experiences in order to evolve and learn 580 00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:11,560 Speaker 1: the lessons. So I would agree, Yeah, I would say 581 00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:13,600 Speaker 1: very few of us end up with the first person 582 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:18,560 Speaker 1: that we date, like, oh yeah, we all have these 583 00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:22,560 Speaker 1: experiences that will and I think are valuable because they 584 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,000 Speaker 1: shape who we are. And I don't know about you, 585 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:26,520 Speaker 1: but like I look back on a lot of them 586 00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:30,040 Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm so grateful that happened, not all 587 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:33,160 Speaker 1: of it, but like, do you have that experience when 588 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,000 Speaker 1: you look back and you're like, that was awful of time, 589 00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:38,600 Speaker 1: but I'm so grateful that I went through that. I do. 590 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,719 Speaker 1: I think I'm grateful for everything that I've been through, 591 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:47,960 Speaker 1: even though there was a moment in time where I 592 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,200 Speaker 1: thought my world was ending. It was the worst heartbreak 593 00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:53,359 Speaker 1: that I've been through two years ago with that guy 594 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,960 Speaker 1: I'd mentioned, and I would always ask myself the question 595 00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,680 Speaker 1: of why am I going through this? Why am I 596 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,759 Speaker 1: feel this type of pain? Why do I deserve this? 597 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,160 Speaker 1: Because I'm a good person and I love someone and 598 00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:10,360 Speaker 1: I'm being, you know, thrown into this pit of pain. 599 00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:17,239 Speaker 1: And now, obviously it takes time to sometimes get to 600 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,040 Speaker 1: a point where you feel okay. But now I look 601 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:25,279 Speaker 1: back and I've grown so much and I'm so so 602 00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,000 Speaker 1: grateful for everything that I've been through, and I wouldn't 603 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,640 Speaker 1: change a thing, even though I went through the worst 604 00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:33,040 Speaker 1: pain of my life. I definitely would not change a thing. 605 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:37,399 Speaker 1: So I think, yeah, everything teaches you something, and that's 606 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,399 Speaker 1: a really healthy perspective to have to you know, it's 607 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,960 Speaker 1: a healthy perspective that's going to get you through life 608 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:48,040 Speaker 1: because shit happens all the time. So yeah, just about 609 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:51,480 Speaker 1: how you deal with it. Yeah, a rejection is just redirection, 610 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:55,160 Speaker 1: I guess. And also I do really love like the 611 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:59,640 Speaker 1: value of the value of solitude. Sometimes you learn a 612 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,239 Speaker 1: lot of yourself when you hold up a pretty deep 613 00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:07,160 Speaker 1: mirror into your soul and when you aren't distracted by 614 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:10,920 Speaker 1: temporary relationships or like, I don't know if you have 615 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:14,120 Speaker 1: this experience, but I often find that whenever I'm having 616 00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:20,320 Speaker 1: like negative emotions, my first, like my first reaction is 617 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,640 Speaker 1: to just like fill up my calendar, to like have 618 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,920 Speaker 1: dates lined up, to like have dinner plans, to be 619 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:30,440 Speaker 1: calling people all the time, because like that level of 620 00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:34,080 Speaker 1: like extraversion and social interaction is such an amazing distraction. 621 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:36,279 Speaker 1: It can be like, oh, I get to focus on 622 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:40,800 Speaker 1: these people. But something that I've learned, like the older 623 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,600 Speaker 1: I've gotten, not that I'm particularly old at this stage, 624 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:49,560 Speaker 1: but like the more years I've spent on earth, is 625 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:54,040 Speaker 1: that taking like a time like once twice a year 626 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:58,480 Speaker 1: to just like separate yourself, go away for like four days, 627 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:04,319 Speaker 1: just do something it is entirely within like entirely like 628 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:07,800 Speaker 1: a solitary activity, even if it's just like more regular 629 00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,680 Speaker 1: like turning your phone off, sitting like your table, and 630 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,520 Speaker 1: just like painting like that creative expression we talked about. 631 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,440 Speaker 1: You just see so much growth in yourself so quickly 632 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,840 Speaker 1: because it's at that point that you don't have to 633 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:23,400 Speaker 1: be thinking about what other people think about you. You 634 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,000 Speaker 1: don't need to be thinking about like the impressions of 635 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,839 Speaker 1: other people. You don't need to be thinking about what 636 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,920 Speaker 1: they expect or what's next. You can just sit with 637 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,040 Speaker 1: your emotions and be like, this is actually how I 638 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,280 Speaker 1: feel about a situation. This is how I feel about 639 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:40,520 Speaker 1: my feelings, and you can move forward with clarity. I 640 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,440 Speaker 1: don't know if you agree with that, if you if 641 00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:44,960 Speaker 1: you want to add to that, yeah, I mean, it's 642 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,120 Speaker 1: so easy to get lost in other people's opinions of 643 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,760 Speaker 1: what you're going through if you're constantly asking people for help. 644 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,359 Speaker 1: And it's okay to ask for help, of course, we 645 00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:57,880 Speaker 1: all need help at certain points of our life. I 646 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:02,720 Speaker 1: just think sometimes you have to listen to your inner voice, 647 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:04,920 Speaker 1: and that's the voice that's going to guide you the most. 648 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:09,520 Speaker 1: And I've definitely had, you know, friends give me advice 649 00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,319 Speaker 1: and family give me advice, and I take it with 650 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,000 Speaker 1: a grain of salt. But you're not really going to 651 00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:16,359 Speaker 1: listen to anyone unless it's something that you really want 652 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,839 Speaker 1: to do. And that's something that's really like, if you're 653 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:20,920 Speaker 1: not ready to heal, you're not ready to heal. You're 654 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,319 Speaker 1: not going to be healed by someone saying okay, you know, 655 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,920 Speaker 1: get out of bed and start your day. That's not 656 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,359 Speaker 1: going to help the only person that you could really 657 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:34,360 Speaker 1: depend on in times of I guess hardship is yourself. 658 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,839 Speaker 1: So that's why I always emphasize the importance of really 659 00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,440 Speaker 1: knowing who you are and taking that alone time, and 660 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,600 Speaker 1: I totally agree with that. I think, you know, just 661 00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:47,480 Speaker 1: having that time to yourself is crucial in order to 662 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,120 Speaker 1: really know how to love yourself. But that doesn't mean 663 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,040 Speaker 1: you can't also be social and also hang out with 664 00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:57,480 Speaker 1: people and see people. Doesn't mean you know, crawl in 665 00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:00,400 Speaker 1: your bed and never leave. But I think it's just 666 00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:04,560 Speaker 1: important to separate your energy from everyone else's every now 667 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,920 Speaker 1: and then just to recharge and recenter. Yeah, that I 668 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:11,480 Speaker 1: think that's an amazing point and an awesome way and 669 00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:15,520 Speaker 1: kind of an awesome point to finish on. It's been 670 00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:18,520 Speaker 1: such a lovely discussion. You know, we've talked about, like 671 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:23,160 Speaker 1: to summarize it all, like we've really worked through so 672 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:26,480 Speaker 1: many different things that I think come up on our 673 00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,440 Speaker 1: self love journey, but also on our dating journey as well, 674 00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:35,759 Speaker 1: self worth, dealing with projection, alone time, the creativity and 675 00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:39,880 Speaker 1: opportunities that come from heartbreak. So Liz, thank you so 676 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,680 Speaker 1: much for coming on and sharing all your wisdom. Thank 677 00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:46,000 Speaker 1: you so much for having me. I loved that conversation 678 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,680 Speaker 1: and I hope that helped all of you, and I 679 00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:54,239 Speaker 1: hope that was a productive conversation. I feel like we 680 00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:56,799 Speaker 1: could talk for so long. I last track of time. 681 00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,520 Speaker 1: Yeah I did as well. I'm thinking part two has 682 00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:04,120 Speaker 1: to happen because these are the conversations I love having, honestly, 683 00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,200 Speaker 1: because I often feel like these are the conversations that 684 00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:07,839 Speaker 1: a lot of people like. I want to have these 685 00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:11,759 Speaker 1: with my friends, but sometimes like that doesn't happen. So 686 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,680 Speaker 1: I'm like, come and come and listen to us. I 687 00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:18,279 Speaker 1: stacked down love Lives for your entertainment. I love doing that. 688 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,640 Speaker 1: And also, I'm just gonna give your podcast a shout 689 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:26,280 Speaker 1: out date yourself instead. If you're not listening to it, 690 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:30,919 Speaker 1: it's amazing. It's super valuable content, especially if you're someone 691 00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:34,120 Speaker 1: who's going through a hard time in terms of your 692 00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:39,320 Speaker 1: romantic life. I couldn't recommend it more highly. If you're listening, 693 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,440 Speaker 1: you really enjoyed this episode. I know that we both 694 00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:45,480 Speaker 1: did a lot. Maybe you want to share it with 695 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,399 Speaker 1: a friend. If it's something that a friend needs to hear, 696 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:52,160 Speaker 1: please feel free to pass on the love. If you 697 00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:55,680 Speaker 1: did enjoy this episode, please leave a five star review 698 00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:59,600 Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you are listening right now. 699 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:03,320 Speaker 1: It really helps the show to grow and reach new people. 700 00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:06,680 Speaker 1: And if you want to know more, if you want 701 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:09,200 Speaker 1: to be ahead of the news, ahead of the episodes, 702 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:13,080 Speaker 1: follow me at that Psychology Podcast. I post a lot 703 00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:17,680 Speaker 1: of updates around what's coming next, merchandise, guests that are 704 00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:21,280 Speaker 1: coming on, and also once a month I let you, 705 00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:26,439 Speaker 1: the listeners, choose what episode comes out next. So thank 706 00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:29,000 Speaker 1: you so much and have a lovely week. We'll be 707 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,719 Speaker 1: back soon with another episode.