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Speaker 1: Hey, you want to go out and get wasted on

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Speaker 1: juice boxes. It's one more thing, one more thing. It'll

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Speaker 1: all make sense, Katie, Okay, shy. Why am I making

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Speaker 1: these hands in moments? I don't know. It's scaring me.

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Speaker 2: Stop it. So before we get to whatever that is,

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Speaker 2: the concept of being a human footstool came up on

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Speaker 2: the Armstrong and Getty showed today. Oh my god, yes

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Speaker 2: it did.

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Speaker 1: We got an email that suggesting that sleeve boy should

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Speaker 1: add that to his duties. Sleeve boy, sleeve boy, hands

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Speaker 1: and knees right now, Daddy's legs are tired.

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Speaker 2: I make him call me daddy. Oh man, that's rough.

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Speaker 2: I was reading this book and it was a kid

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Speaker 2: that went to a private prep school in England. And

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Speaker 2: one of the weird things that happened at this horrible school,

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Speaker 2: in addition to the bullying and sexual abuse, was the

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Speaker 2: headmaster's wife would make two of the kids be a

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Speaker 2: foot stool for her in the evening so she could

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Speaker 2: rest her feet on top of them. And this was

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Speaker 2: an elite, yeah, private where you sent your rich family,

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Speaker 2: and you send your rich kids because you want them

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Speaker 2: to be also, you know, movers and shakers in England. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: really amazing. But and it reminded me I'd heard it

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Speaker 2: in a podcast last year. I wish I could dig

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Speaker 2: it up. I got to try to figure out where

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Speaker 2: it was. Some war in the Middle East way back

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Speaker 2: in the day, and like some sultan you know, takes

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Speaker 2: over another piece of land there in the Middle East

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Speaker 2: and makes that king be his footstool for like the

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Speaker 2: rest of his life, be a human footstool for like

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Speaker 2: twenty years or something like that.

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Speaker 1: I just don't know if I'd go along. I think

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Speaker 1: I might. I might, I might check out.

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Speaker 2: Before I'd be somebody's footstool for the rest of my life.

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Speaker 1: I think that would. Yeah, it'd be tough on your

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Speaker 1: back and your knees. I mean, if it had her execution.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't thinking about it physically as much as just

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Speaker 2: it's kind of demeaning, isn't it.

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Speaker 1: What are you I woke up demeans this morning? I've

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Speaker 1: done worse.

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Speaker 2: What kind of life is that being someone's footstool. Well,

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Speaker 2: it's demeaning, yeah, But if it's that or execution the guy.

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Speaker 2: The guy's not sitting all day and all night you

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Speaker 2: get time off.

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Speaker 1: You have no self respect I'd rather be alive.

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure I would.

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Speaker 1: I could write poetry in my head as I sat

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Speaker 1: there with his feet on my back. I could think

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Speaker 1: about anything I wanted. I could write songs. I could

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Speaker 1: have a happy and productive life when I'm not being

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Speaker 1: in footstool. I don't know. You live and you endure,

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Speaker 1: you overcome.

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Speaker 3: I have so many questions, like if on your downtime,

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Speaker 3: when you're not a footstool, how.

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Speaker 2: Much freedom do you have?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Do I have a car?

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Speaker 3: Can I go about my regular day, but make sure

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Speaker 3: i'm back for footstool hour or whatever?

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Speaker 2: Seeing the get You're down at the mall shopping and

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Speaker 2: they just text you and my feet are a little

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Speaker 2: on the ground. If you know what I'm saying, I'm

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Speaker 2: on my way home.

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Speaker 3: We've been walking a lot. Twenty minute warning. I could

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Speaker 3: deal I mean, I could deal with that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it is demeaning, but yeah, as long

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Speaker 1: as it's fairly civil. Something tells me in the ancient

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Speaker 1: Middle East it wasn't quite that enlightened.

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Speaker 2: Probably not.

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Speaker 1: Yeah you get a beating on the way in and

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Speaker 1: one on the way out, well, then yeah, I'd hurtl

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Speaker 1: myself off the castle wall or onto a sword or something.

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Speaker 1: But the fact that the guy hung in there for

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Speaker 1: twenty years says to me, you know, it's all right.

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Speaker 2: You know that's a that's a decent comment right there.

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Speaker 2: That great benefits. You're off hours, hit a creep, got

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Speaker 2: a four wooden k.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and I'm traded very well. Yeah, it's dirty

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Speaker 1: feet around my back. Other than that, it's pretty enlightened.

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Speaker 1: He's got great taste in music, and I get to

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Speaker 1: listen to it. Obviously, I'm there.

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Speaker 2: I'm furniture for a rich guy. But every now and

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Speaker 2: then he clips his toenails, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, and you know the harem girls. I'm not supposed

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Speaker 1: to look, but I'd grab a glance. I mean, he's

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Speaker 1: not looking at me. It's it's fine. Beat's getting your

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Speaker 1: head sawed off anyway. So my reference to getting wasted

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Speaker 1: on juice box is a ten year old California girl

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Speaker 1: is set to graduate from college this spring. She says,

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Speaker 1: I just enjoy learning. There's so many interesting things out there,

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Speaker 1: which is true.

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Speaker 2: Ten. Is this the youngbe eleven at the ceremony? Is

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Speaker 2: this the youngest ever?

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I've heard, you know, we've all heard the sixteens, fifteen thirteen.

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Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever heard of ten.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. She learned how to read at two years old

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Speaker 1: and began doing algebra at the age of five. Started

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Speaker 1: taking classes at a community college in Ukaypa, California, when

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Speaker 1: she was eight. It's very fun to me, she says.

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Speaker 1: It's almost as fun as playing outside or riding a

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Speaker 1: bike or doing whatever. I just enjoy learning. There's so

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Speaker 1: many interesting things out there, you know, it's it's funny people.

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Speaker 1: Uh no, I don't think so. Let me let me

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Speaker 1: say probably not. I mean she's a child. Oh there,

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Speaker 1: she is, lovely gal, Oh what a cutie. Anyway, she's

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Speaker 1: not gonna end up a human footstool. People react with

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Speaker 1: incredulity and wonder and amazement at this sort of thing.

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Speaker 1: And I've for years and years and you just thought

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Speaker 1: it's so silly. And it reminds me of one thing

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Speaker 1: I hate, Katie. That's very odd. I hate when people

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Speaker 1: gush over a child who can sing like an adult.

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Speaker 2: That is something that sets Joe off, Katie out of

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Speaker 2: you didn't know that.

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Speaker 1: Well. People are like, oh my god, she's amazing. Listen

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Speaker 1: to that voice. Oh my god, and she's only a child.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's like this little girl. It's not

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Speaker 1: merit that she's that intelligent. I mean she has a

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Speaker 1: fair amount of character and a curious mind, which I

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Speaker 1: think is great. She's not better than you. Her brain

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Speaker 1: just works differently. It's like being exceptionally tall. I don't

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Speaker 1: point at somebody who's very tall and say, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: he's six foot five. That's much taller than average people.

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Speaker 1: Because sand a certain number of people fall outside the

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Speaker 1: averages and stuff like that. So some kid's throat is

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Speaker 1: formed in a way that she sounds somewhat like an

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Speaker 1: adult when she sings. Who cares you know what she's

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Speaker 1: gonna sound like when she is an adult, like a

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Speaker 1: sing an adult. It's not like she got anywhere worth getting.

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Speaker 1: She's just there earlier. It's not like she's going to

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Speaker 1: continue to be so much better a singer than the

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Speaker 1: rest of humanity by the time she's an adult. Her

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Speaker 1: her voice can some of the angels and care cancer.

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Speaker 1: That's not the way it works. I have never heard

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Speaker 1: someone this upset about Oh I'm implementing get upset. I'm

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Speaker 1: upset about stupid people who gush about someone who can

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Speaker 1: sing like an adult at age twelve.

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Speaker 2: Honest to god, if my kids started reading really well

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Speaker 2: at age two and everything, I'd think, WHOA, we have

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Speaker 2: got a situation to manage. Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

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Speaker 2: I mean, if I could choose it or not, I'd

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Speaker 2: choose not. I'd rather have a kid of normal intelligence.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know's It's definitely a challenge and an opportunity. Now,

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Speaker 1: unlike the singing youngster, this young lady might continue to

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Speaker 1: learn throughout her lifetime and achieve great things.

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Speaker 2: I certainly hope that for or only fans.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of super geniuses don't end up happy.

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Speaker 2: So oh yeah, go ahead.

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Speaker 3: No, No, I was just gonna say a crack a dumb joke,

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Speaker 3: so continue.

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Speaker 1: Oh I'm sorry I missed it. Yeah. I've known more

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Speaker 1: than one person who is of like a crazy intelligence

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Speaker 1: that can't get their act together and or their borderline,

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Speaker 1: or actually just mentally ill and fantastically intelligent. It's just

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Speaker 1: as we've said for a long time, genius is another

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Speaker 1: brand of my brain. Doesn't work like other people's brains,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes it can be great, but not always.

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Speaker 2: Uh. I meant I wouldn't not from a parenting standpoint

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Speaker 2: for my kid, I wouldn't choose them to have that

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Speaker 2: brain just because. Okay, so now you're at community college

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Speaker 2: and you're eight. That's not a comfortable situation. Now and

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Speaker 2: you're at college at ten, you're not going to have

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Speaker 2: the college experience that you'd have with an average intelligence

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Speaker 2: that is, and having a high school experience, none of it.

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Speaker 1: It's just and so I actually know somebody. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to be very very vague about this for obvious reasons,

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Speaker 1: but mom is exceptionally bright and her daughter is off

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Speaker 1: the charts, and it's tough sometimes for the kid to

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Speaker 1: relate to kids her age. Sure she has nothing to

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Speaker 1: say to them. Well, I don't want to go any

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Speaker 1: further than that, because I'm not like intimately in their lives.

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Speaker 1: But I'm reminded of a great line from the best

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Speaker 1: incarnation of Sherlock Holmes that's ever existed, the Benedict Cumberbatch

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Speaker 1: with Mark what's his who's Mycroft homes? But that's Sherlock

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Speaker 1: homes smarter older brother who says to Sherlock, you think

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Speaker 1: it's difficult for you, For me, it's like living in

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Speaker 1: a world of goldfish, which is you know, obviously a

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Speaker 1: tad demeaning sort of fellow who might use you as

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Speaker 1: a stool school. But yeah, to be that bright as

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Speaker 1: a child, maybe you're still into playing with Dolly's and

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Speaker 1: think puppies are cute and stuff like that and want

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Speaker 1: to draw rainbows. But it'd be tough.

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Speaker 2: And uh, what is a kid going to major in?

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Speaker 2: Do we know that?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. But her dream is to someday work

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Speaker 1: in artificial intelligence. She's talking about building a startup with

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Speaker 1: her dad, which is sweet.

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Speaker 3: Cool.

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Speaker 2: We're all going to be her footstool someday. I'd be

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Speaker 2: happy to be a hunter. Indeed.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm going to grunt a little as I get

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Speaker 1: to the ground as an old older fellow. But let's

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Speaker 1: get this started. Imagine being a singing human footstool, not

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Speaker 1: only letting them put your feet on their back, sing

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Speaker 1: me a song, footstool. Yeah, I could see that being

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Speaker 1: part of the deal. I mean, if you're a human footstool,

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Speaker 1: you're not going to say no, I don't want to sing. No,

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Speaker 1: I'd say you're a human footstool. You're gonna do what

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Speaker 1: you're told.

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Speaker 2: Everybody cut everybody cut foot loose now, don't sing foot

202
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Speaker 2: related songs. I want other stuff.

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Speaker 1: I am going to kick you if you make another

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Speaker 1: joke like that footstool.

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Speaker 2: Well, I guess that's it.