Speaker 1: Hello, Hey, who is this?
Speaker 2: Hi? A'm Fox?
Speaker 1: Your Fox?
Speaker 2: Yeah, f o X Fox.
Speaker 1: Okay is that really?
Speaker 2: In? Is not? I don't really feel comfortable with you know,
Speaker 2: maybe one hundred plus people hear my name.
Speaker 1: It's okay, that's okay. Yeah, why did you pick a fox?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: It's been it's actually why. It's actually my h R
Speaker 2: your name, my Steam account and for my microscount I got. Well,
Speaker 2: I talk to you about virtually virtual reality VR.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It says here that you feel like virtual reality has
Speaker 1: a lot of control over your life. I think this
Speaker 1: is interesting because soon enough, we are all going to
Speaker 1: be living inside of the computer. So you're kind of
Speaker 1: like a example of what all of our fates will
Speaker 1: eventually be.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I kind of guess. So basically, I saw a
Speaker 2: lot of your podcasts. You know, I love you, Lyle.
Speaker 2: I love all your podcasts. That's amazing way you do.
Speaker 2: There was this one podcast this guy was talking about
Speaker 2: for reality and you're trying to hear to try it.
Speaker 2: It is worth trying. I will say that VR is
Speaker 2: a really open thing to have. It is now it's
Speaker 2: pretty cheap nowadays. He used to be like two thousand
Speaker 2: dollars and now it's down to like three hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: Well so so so fox. So you said that VR
Speaker 1: has a lot of control over your life. Is that
Speaker 1: a has this manifested itself in any ways that are
Speaker 1: I would like to hear about the ways in which
Speaker 1: VR has been a positive thing for you and also
Speaker 1: the ways in which it is it has been a
Speaker 1: negative thing for you.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's start off with negative.
Speaker 1: Let's start off with negative.
Speaker 2: Yeah, mind you, I have a skin condition basically throughout
Speaker 2: the exact name. But when I can't sweat, or when
Speaker 2: I do sweat, a sweat can't really come from my body,
Speaker 2: so it comes to side of like little pimple sum
Speaker 2: ups and VR hands a big, big like sweat focus
Speaker 2: almost because it's a heads on your head. You know.
Speaker 2: It's like wearing a ski mask and like Florida you
Speaker 2: know summers. It makes you sweat a lot. VR hands
Speaker 2: also taken control of my wife, you know, at least
Speaker 2: in my mental statement, because I used to be this
Speaker 2: guy that would it's like, talk to anybody. I would
Speaker 2: walk up to them and say, hey, how you doing.
Speaker 2: I just ram strangers, you know. Now I'm really antisocial
Speaker 2: because I don't know how it's just really active people interesting.
Speaker 1: So you used to be better at going up to
Speaker 1: people and starting conversations, and then VR kind of atrophied
Speaker 1: that muscle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's kind of like that because inside of
Speaker 2: VR you can be whoever you want to be. You
Speaker 2: can walk up to anybody, say anything that you want to.
Speaker 2: It's online. But it just kind of in perspective of
Speaker 2: me talking to people because I used to I still
Speaker 2: am like a really friendly guy. It's just that now
Speaker 2: I've become antisocial. I'm not wis sure how it really happens,
Speaker 2: just that I don't like talking to people in the
Speaker 2: real world.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, how often are you out
Speaker 1: in situations where you are talking to people in real
Speaker 1: life and socializing.
Speaker 2: Works that? That's pretty much it. I don't really talk
Speaker 2: to anybody like my mom, my, stepdad, you know, my sister.
Speaker 1: Do you have Do you have a lot of friends
Speaker 1: outside of VR in real life?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: No, no, not at all. I have no friends at all.
Speaker 2: I be this guy that was really time to hear.
Speaker 2: Everybody knew me. I was basically my friendliest guy. I
Speaker 2: would give like kids some popsicles on a hot summer day,
Speaker 2: and on the smiles, you know that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's very specific.
Speaker 2: Now I have I have like no friends at all,
Speaker 2: Like I can't listen off anybody. All my friends are
Speaker 2: on line and it's a big.
Speaker 1: Okay around when so you say, you're you're you're painting
Speaker 1: this arc of yourself as formerly confident, formerly having a
Speaker 1: lot of friends, and then VR kind of changed that
Speaker 1: for you. Around how long ago did you start to
Speaker 1: notice an atrophy in your social skills?
Speaker 2: So I played VR back four years ago and around
Speaker 2: not even six months into gamesight VR, I realized that
Speaker 2: I was getting more antisocial. I went to talk to
Speaker 2: me about you and to go outside that much, and
Speaker 2: I thought that was okay, Like and like, imagine you
Speaker 2: got like a new Xbox while playing more often? Right, sure,
Speaker 2: but DR is just something different. You can interact with people.
Speaker 2: It's just like just to go outside, you have to
Speaker 2: do you do this?
Speaker 1: Okay, So it's been so so so it's been about
Speaker 1: three and a half years around there you are, Okay,
Speaker 1: Now does any part of you, uh does I mean
Speaker 1: do you personally do you desire to be more social
Speaker 1: to have more friends? Are you sitting there in and
Speaker 1: wishing that you had those social skills that you felt
Speaker 1: like you had a good hand along a few years ago,
Speaker 1: or are you feeling rather comfortable where you're at right now.
Speaker 2: It's a mix of a bulk. Actually, I feel like
Speaker 2: I'm really comfortable because like when I drink and stuff,
Speaker 2: you know, I get like either really aggravated, like really
Speaker 2: you know, I'm just that kind of guy, or like
Speaker 2: really calm. Usually I take an advantage of when I'm calm,
Speaker 2: so when I'm being drunk and inside VR, it's a
Speaker 2: virtual world, like nobody can harm me in an kind
Speaker 2: of way. But I want to be more social in
Speaker 2: the world too, because I know I'm gonna need some friends.
Speaker 2: I wanna need child true like family. I know that
Speaker 2: I need that, but I just I don't think I can.
Speaker 1: You know, why don't you say, well, okay, why don't
Speaker 1: you think you can?
Speaker 2: It's just, you know, social anxiety. I guess I just
Speaker 2: kind of feel like I don't right around people anymore.
Speaker 2: But I stacked the exact same. I don't know if
Speaker 2: VR has kind of controlled me in a way, but like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, just I've met so many friends on here,
Speaker 2: and it's like why do I need real life friends
Speaker 2: when I have already a whole entire group of almost
Speaker 2: family around me inside online? You know?
Speaker 1: I mean you bring up something interesting, right about Okay,
Speaker 1: So you don't have a lot of friends in real life,
Speaker 1: but you have all these internet friends, and even though
Speaker 1: they are avatars, they are real human beings. You are
Speaker 1: exchanging thoughts and ideas and spending quality time with representations
Speaker 1: of real people. And it's an interesting thing because there
Speaker 1: is legitimacy to that. Have you ever met anyone that
Speaker 1: you've met in VR in real life?
Speaker 2: I met my ex?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you met so you you had a relationship.
Speaker 2: Yes, I actually want to tell you about that too,
Speaker 2: So VR you can meet anybody rather it be a girl,
Speaker 2: a man, a lover.
Speaker 1: A follower. What's the what's the most fucked up avatar
Speaker 1: you've seen? By the way?
Speaker 2: Oh? Okay? Is there certain words that are explicit to
Speaker 2: the Twitch channel?
Speaker 1: I mean, don't say anything racist, but other than that,
Speaker 1: go ahead and racist.
Speaker 2: I just want to make sure that I can describe this,
Speaker 2: So in VR chat you can make any anazar that
Speaker 2: you like. So it's this, it's this naked man? Right? Sure,
Speaker 2: I didn't have a good good, like a crotch or
Speaker 2: anything like that. It's just like a naked avid artist
Speaker 2: fully peach skin. But when you talk out of it,
Speaker 2: it moves your skin and it makes flesh pop out.
Speaker 1: What wait, so it makes like you can like make
Speaker 1: your penis talk and ship.
Speaker 2: Yes, you can. Actually also when you when you talk,
Speaker 2: skin stops out of your chest and moves around when
Speaker 2: you talk, around your legs, around your thighs, around the world,
Speaker 2: your body.
Speaker 1: I'm starting to see why you don't leave the VR world.
Speaker 2: It's interesting.
Speaker 1: Okay, So back to the relationship you met a girl
Speaker 1: on VR.
Speaker 2: Uh. Yeah, there's actually my burnst long term relationship clearer
Speaker 2: or not. So I realized people would just take advantage
Speaker 2: of me. H yah, yeah, you know, kind of true.
Speaker 2: But we last a year, so really we wanted.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in the course in the course of that year,
Speaker 1: did you guys ever meet in real life?
Speaker 2: Around eight months is when we started to you know,
Speaker 2: trying me up. We had plans, and then another month
Speaker 2: later we decided to do it. So we met up
Speaker 2: inside of VR. I mean we met up in the
Speaker 2: side of the real world and sounded like a double airport.
Speaker 2: We got some pretzels from and Annie's and you just
Speaker 2: kind of ended up for a while.
Speaker 1: Okay, where did you so? So did you guys? Did
Speaker 1: you go to her, did she come to you? Or
Speaker 1: did you meet somewhere in the middle? Uh?
Speaker 2: We I came to her.
Speaker 1: Okay. And how did that feel for you meeting somebody
Speaker 1: in real life that you met in VR.
Speaker 2: I'll be honest, I really did not feel that comfortable
Speaker 2: of it. So, really, mind you have line personas. They
Speaker 2: can act like a whole entire different person on the airnet,
Speaker 2: a whole time person. They can make more cameras, make
Speaker 2: more aggravated, to make a whole entire, big different difference
Speaker 2: when you act online. It's like mongel for two lobbies almost,
Speaker 2: you know. But it just felt weird because her actual
Speaker 2: persona herself was very, very very different, interesting, She was
Speaker 2: a lot more sense, she had to say, She flirted
Speaker 2: a lot with other guys, and then that next month
Speaker 2: I started to try to tell her that one break
Speaker 2: off with her. But it's just online personas can be
Speaker 2: really controversial, I think.
Speaker 1: Okay, hold on, so, so okay, stick stick with me
Speaker 1: here for a second. Okay, give me what is the
Speaker 1: difference that you observe between her online persona and how
Speaker 1: she acted in real life towards you.
Speaker 2: So online side y are, she'd be really kind, like
Speaker 2: she would hang out with me almost every day. She'd
Speaker 2: talk to me, she tell me how my day was, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: Like she was very very kind, like almost like my
Speaker 2: dream girlfriend almost, you know, and she hass all these
Speaker 2: ways and I really liked it, you know, But in
Speaker 2: real life she was a lot more sand here, a
Speaker 2: lot more aggravated, i'd say, at times. And she'd never
Speaker 2: ask anything if they was or any of this or
Speaker 2: any of that. And she would constantly flirt with other
Speaker 2: guys right from me, like strangers.
Speaker 1: Almost Hmmm, interesting, do you I mean, it's it feels
Speaker 1: a little pointless to speculate about this, but do you
Speaker 1: have any theories as to why she she was acting
Speaker 1: so differently than than she was normally.
Speaker 2: I've only seen her like that once, you know, once,
Speaker 2: mm hmm. She kinda was just like a lot more
Speaker 2: fantsy towards like well of her other friends. I think
Speaker 2: it's just how she acted around me.
Speaker 1: Do you do you get a did you get a
Speaker 1: sense from her when you when you met her, did
Speaker 1: you get a sense from her that she also was
Speaker 1: a little bit nervous to meet somebody in real life
Speaker 1: and also kind of spent a lot of time in
Speaker 1: VR and had sort of atrophy social skills.
Speaker 2: She she told me before that she met a guy
Speaker 2: in her life and basically smashed him like.
Speaker 1: That said, okay, okay, okay, So Fox, so you had
Speaker 1: this girl friend over VR. You did meet her in
Speaker 1: real life, and then I guess, I I guess when
Speaker 1: you met her in real life and the vibe was different,
Speaker 1: that was kind of the beginning of the end for
Speaker 1: that relationship.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean when I met her and several life
Speaker 2: I just lost a lot of feelings. Okay, just everything changed,
Speaker 2: I guess.
Speaker 1: So Now what about what about friends? What about friends?
Speaker 2: Friends?
Speaker 1: Have you met any friends? Have you met any friends
Speaker 1: in real life from VR?
Speaker 2: Any friends? Hey? Have you played D and D? And
Speaker 2: just a question for those.
Speaker 1: Post I haven't, but I know it is, you know
Speaker 1: what it is?
Speaker 2: Okay, So me and my friends we've played D and
Speaker 2: B a lot inside of like VR. There's this VR
Speaker 2: world side VR chant It's called D and D Dungeons
Speaker 2: and Dragons, and we play like this made up Rick
Speaker 2: and Morty, D and D session, and we've been doing
Speaker 2: it for about for like by four months now recently
Speaker 2: actually not even I think three weeks ago, we did
Speaker 2: a road trip all across the country. I had really
Speaker 2: drive from Florida to Michigan to Alabama to I believe
Speaker 2: not in New York. No, it was New York. So
Speaker 2: we had this a little big idea that we go
Speaker 2: to like random like little places like Washington State or
Speaker 2: like see like New York buildings that we've never seen before,
Speaker 2: like New York pizza fiverstun.
Speaker 1: So you so you went on this road trip with
Speaker 1: with all of you how many of how many of
Speaker 1: you guys were there on this road trip?
Speaker 2: Five?
Speaker 1: Damn? So all all five of you guys went on
Speaker 1: a big road trip across the country.
Speaker 2: Yeah it was. It was really nice.
Speaker 1: You know that sounds fun, man, Yeah, it really, it
Speaker 1: really was.
Speaker 2: I gotta say, you know, get go. I gotta say,
Speaker 2: if you ever get into VR, a good tip for
Speaker 2: you is treat it like it's a console, like you
Speaker 2: you're playing on your PC, like you're just trying to
Speaker 2: play a game for once. Don't treat it as in
Speaker 2: like a separate life. Because a lot of people when
Speaker 2: the game slight VR. They think it's almost like a
Speaker 2: second life for them, and it's kind of sad how
Speaker 2: they feel like that. I once felt like VR one
Speaker 2: it's a second life, but I just kind of came
Speaker 2: over that a little factor.
Speaker 1: Then, well, you know, you bring you know, this whole
Speaker 1: call is is really bringing up an interesting thing. And
Speaker 1: it's like this point of contention of you know, you're
Speaker 1: you're telling me that you've been in VR for three
Speaker 1: and a half years and that it's really like fucked
Speaker 1: with yourself social skills, and you're telling me that you
Speaker 1: can't name a single friend that you have outside of VR.
Speaker 1: But yet you just told me about like a really cool,
Speaker 1: real life life experience of you hanging out with five
Speaker 1: real human beings traveling across the world. I mean, that's
Speaker 1: a real legitimate social life experience that you had as
Speaker 1: a result of being in this virtual world. And it's
Speaker 1: a really interesting thing to think about, Like are virtual friends,
Speaker 1: internet friends, you know, a legitimate healthy form of social
Speaker 1: interaction And I don't, I don't know, because you're you're
Speaker 1: bringing up all these different like sort of of of
Speaker 1: pros and cons in either direction, and maybe there's some
Speaker 1: kind of balance to be struck here, you know, like, like,
Speaker 1: it's so great to me that you have these friends
Speaker 1: that you can go out and do real life stuff with,
Speaker 1: like this road trip. But at the same time you
Speaker 1: should try to balance that out with with finding friends
Speaker 1: in your immediate vicinity and making sure that when you
Speaker 1: do go out into the world you're adequately prepared to
Speaker 1: speak with other people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know, there there is definitely a balance
Speaker 2: to be made, you know. VR is just about like
Speaker 2: one game too, like mind you I love military similar
Speaker 2: Its like Milsen. It's a roleplay of Milton. It's like,
Speaker 2: uh if people are really getting called onward. It's a
Speaker 2: game that lets you experience almost like drill tactics. For example,
Speaker 2: I'm an owner of a Milson serio.
Speaker 1: Well well so, well so Fox. You know, I listened
Speaker 1: the specific games and whatnot is is uh you know,
Speaker 1: I mean I'm talking, but there's just the broader thing
Speaker 1: here of your internet friends versus your real life friends.
Speaker 1: But so listen, I mean, before we get off here,
Speaker 1: I want to I want to talk to you about
Speaker 1: your own personal life and your kind of future with this.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you something. Okay, you've had some great experiences,
Speaker 1: you know. I mean, even if the girlfriend thing didn't
Speaker 1: work out quite the way you wanted it to, it's
Speaker 1: like it was a relationship. It was a thing that
Speaker 1: happened to you in your life. You know, you went
Speaker 1: on this road trip. You're having real human life experiences
Speaker 1: in this interesting hybrid way with VR and real life,
Speaker 1: and so moving forward for you, do you see yourself
Speaker 1: being able to put down the headset and go and
Speaker 1: really make a concentrated effort to make friends outside of VR.
Speaker 2: I I'm not really sure. I wants almost all of
Speaker 2: my terroistics that people love about him from in real life.
Speaker 2: Like before I got into VR, VR itself online itself
Speaker 2: changes here how I've acted recently and how I do
Speaker 2: things and how I do this and now I do that,
Speaker 2: it's all changed, So it might not I might not
Speaker 2: be able to like I'm struck, You're rick?
Speaker 1: Can I ask you this? Have you ever been to
Speaker 1: real therapy to talk about this?
Speaker 2: I have not, But I think that I really don't,
Speaker 2: you know, I think that I can easily pass through
Speaker 2: through life and I'll eventually get over it. It's social anxiety,
Speaker 2: I know it, So I will eventually get over.
Speaker 1: It, you believe so, so looking forward, you're optimistic about
Speaker 1: your ability to get over your social anxiety.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I am. I'm pretty sure that if I
Speaker 2: I meet some more friends from online hopefully here soon,
Speaker 2: and maybe we I just meet all my friends or
Speaker 2: some of my friends in real life again, I think
Speaker 2: that I could definitely get more used to talking to
Speaker 2: people in real life. And I just moving on conviction, right,
Speaker 2: I think so too.
Speaker 1: I think that the more efforts you can make to
Speaker 1: take these people that you've been meeting in VR and
Speaker 1: and make plans to you know, go to them or
Speaker 1: have them come to you and meet them in real
Speaker 1: life and slowly through that kind of transition from your
Speaker 1: virtual world into the real world is a good way
Speaker 1: for you to get over that that anxiety. And I'm
Speaker 1: stoked to hear that you're optimistic about that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I have hope. You know. I love
Speaker 2: my friends. I trem like family. I will do anything
Speaker 2: to meet them, to talk to them of the life.
Speaker 2: I want to see those things. I want to talk
Speaker 2: to them. That's some Adazar, that's kind of like what
Speaker 2: I want to do. I want to meet my friends
Speaker 2: in the real world, all right, I'll let.
Speaker 1: You go, man, I'll talk to you soon. Thank you
Speaker 1: very much for calling, and genuinely very excited to hear
Speaker 1: that you see an upward trajectory for yourself.
Speaker 2: All Right, get go, all right, I love what you're doing. Man,
Speaker 2: continue with Okay, I will be appreciated.
Speaker 1: Take care by the all right, that was a really
Speaker 1: really interesting modern call.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I was just I went to twitch Con recently and
Speaker 1: I met a lot of people there who were meeting
Speaker 1: their internet friends in real life for the first time.
Speaker 1: And I don't know, I don't have like opinions about this.
Speaker 1: I'm just kind of going through it. It's like there's
Speaker 1: all this pushback of, oh, kids aren't socializing enough these
Speaker 1: days because they're out in v or playing Call of
Speaker 1: Duty or doing these things. And it's a legitimate question
Speaker 1: as to whether or not, you know, it's a legitimate
Speaker 1: question as to how much of those interactions are legitimate,
Speaker 1: healthy human social interactions. And I don't know. And Fox
Speaker 1: was an interesting case study of this because he is
Speaker 1: he is meeting real people and having real interactions through VR,
Speaker 1: and they are leading to human interactions that have nothing
Speaker 1: to do with VR, like this road trip, like meeting
Speaker 1: up with that girl and listen, would it be better
Speaker 1: and cleaner perhaps if he were able to have nothing
Speaker 1: to do with the internet, have nothing to do with VR,
Speaker 1: and have a healthy social life. Maybe, But I mean
Speaker 1: that's not where we're at, even societally, That's not where
Speaker 1: we're at. I mean, this is just gonna keep being
Speaker 1: a thing that people get more and more into. And Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was just interesting to talk to Fox in that
Speaker 1: first person perspective of how he's he's navigating that, and
Speaker 1: like I said, I'm glad to hear that. It's it
Speaker 1: seems as though he's trying to make more of an
Speaker 1: effort to transition these online relationships into real life relationships
Speaker 1: and that that maybe leads to him being a little
Speaker 1: bit more confident in the future in uh going out
Speaker 1: and forming these relationships in real life without VR. Anyway,
Speaker 1: let's take another call.
Speaker 2: Oh, Lyle, how are we doing?
Speaker 1: I'm doing good? Is this is this Scottie?
Speaker 5: Is this Scotti?
Speaker 1: What's going on?
Speaker 2: Get go coffee for Halloween?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah? How much was yours?
Speaker 5: It was like seventy five I think plus shipping.
Speaker 1: Offerously, she was expensive. Dude, I don't know.
Speaker 5: What I know I was sitting in my car and
Speaker 5: I think you actually got an answers. I walked in,
Speaker 5: but I guess, do some single bathroom real quick.
Speaker 1: So Scotty, what's going on with you?
Speaker 5: So I called to talk about something that happened to me.
Speaker 5: It was a few years ago. I'm twenty seven since
Speaker 5: last week, and when I was twenty one, me and
Speaker 5: my family went to the Bahamas and we all drank
Speaker 5: a good bit. It's a big drinking family. And at
Speaker 5: one point we're all on the beach and I met
Speaker 5: this girl and we were hanging out mostly and the
Speaker 5: family always going to dinner. So I was like, all right,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna stay ears. I cool, like I don't care,
Speaker 5: it's fine whatever. And uh so they all went to dinner.
Speaker 5: I mean, this girl ended up going the ocean and doing.
Speaker 2: A girl folk do.
Speaker 5: And later that night, after came back to gave me
Speaker 5: went home, my uncle came up to me. He's like, hey,
Speaker 5: your granddad might have been videoing you while you were
Speaker 5: doing it. I don't know if he knows.
Speaker 2: I noticed.
Speaker 5: I don't anyone else might have noticed. I guess, like
Speaker 5: you can see what's going on and not like the
Speaker 5: graphic because they were pretty far away, Like, I don't
Speaker 5: even know the restaurants.
Speaker 2: That close to us on the beach. I want to done.
Speaker 1: It down for a second. Here, your grandfather accidentally videoed
Speaker 1: you having sex? Yes, were you?
Speaker 2: I don't know if he knows it or not.
Speaker 1: Were How does that even happen? Logistically?
Speaker 4: They were pretty far away, but he got really nice.
Speaker 5: Camera, so you can really zoom in on those things.
Speaker 5: I guess he's video in the family at dinner.
Speaker 1: You were having on the beach.
Speaker 4: It was in the water, it was.
Speaker 5: So you can see the motions, but you can't see everything. Obviously.
Speaker 1: Is it during the day?
Speaker 5: Sun was going down, but it was a little live outside.
Speaker 1: And we were just having sex with this girl in
Speaker 1: the middle of the day. Apparently it wasn't empty. Apparently
Speaker 1: your grandfather was there.
Speaker 5: The restaurant has seen a lot further at the time.
Speaker 1: Okay, so there's a restaurant and then hold on, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to get the bistics of this down. Okay, So
Speaker 1: there's a restaurant overlooking the beach, and it overlooks the
Speaker 1: part of the beach that you are in with this
Speaker 1: girl in the water having sex, and your grandfather is
Speaker 1: just video things going on in the restaurant, and then
Speaker 1: you are somehow in the background of your grandfather's Now wait,
Speaker 1: he zoomed, how do you Okay, how do you accidentally
Speaker 1: zoom in on you having sex? How is that an accident?
Speaker 4: He didn't know I was doing it.
Speaker 5: He didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 1: So he was just zooming in on the beach.
Speaker 5: Me in the water with this girl. And does this makes.
Speaker 2: Sense to you night lately?
Speaker 1: See what does this make sense to you?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Because I was there, it makes sense to me. I've
Speaker 5: seen the video, Like just imagine that was at the
Speaker 5: table and he's like, hey.
Speaker 2: I mean this is the family vacation.
Speaker 5: It's like Scott say, to hang out with this girl
Speaker 5: and he zooms in and zooms out.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: So so basically what's happening is your grandfather was taking
Speaker 1: some home videos and then you happened to be in
Speaker 1: the background, unbeknownst to your grandfather, having sex in the water.
Speaker 5: Yes, but it must have been noticely enough for my
Speaker 5: uncle to realize because I knew. But my uncle came
Speaker 5: up to me and was like, hey, I hope you
Speaker 5: know that, Like this is what happened, and he has it.
Speaker 5: But the thing is is what I call it. It's
Speaker 5: like I didn't really care at the time.
Speaker 2: I thought it's a funny to where I told my friends.
Speaker 5: But like the older I get, you know, the boy,
Speaker 5: You're like, god, damn indeed.
Speaker 2: I don't why if he knows?
Speaker 1: Well, okay, why you say god damn it?
Speaker 2: Dude?
Speaker 1: You say that you didn't care at the time, but
Speaker 1: as you get older, it's starting to weigh on you.
Speaker 1: Why is it start older?
Speaker 5: You just respect your grandparents more than what you get,
Speaker 5: you know, and you don't love to see ship like that.
Speaker 5: It was an awful decision for sure, but also didn't
Speaker 5: know they were so close, and I was heavily appreciated.
Speaker 1: Okay, So do you so your grandfather doesn't know that
Speaker 1: he's in possession of a video of you having sex.
Speaker 5: I don't know. If he doesn't know, he could very
Speaker 5: well know. And if he knows, my grandma knows. God,
Speaker 5: that's even worth all to have.
Speaker 1: Have you ever talked to him about it?
Speaker 5: No, not a conversation immigrants that usually kind of have.
Speaker 1: Okay, So is this a thing that weighs heavy on
Speaker 1: your mind?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I definitely, late in bed and I had thought
Speaker 5: about this a long time.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you feel do you feel as though do
Speaker 1: you feel as though addressing it and talking to your
Speaker 1: grandfather would uh would get rid of that?
Speaker 2: If he does?
Speaker 5: What if he doesn't know though?
Speaker 1: Well? Okay, the weighing heavy, let's let's get into this.
Speaker 1: You say it weighs heavy on your mind?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Does it? Actually? Yes?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, why does it? Why do you hate it?
Speaker 1: Why is it way heavy on your mind?
Speaker 5: It's just you know, you look back at stuff you
Speaker 5: definitely should have done differently, and it's definitely probably top.
Speaker 2: Three on my list right now.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, you know like they have.
Speaker 5: I feel like I feel like they possibly have acted
Speaker 5: differently towards me the beast couple of years ago.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, you think they've seen it? Do you think
Speaker 1: they've seen it? And you don't want to bring it
Speaker 1: up to them because if they haven't seen it, you
Speaker 1: bring it up, then.
Speaker 5: They know if I are their poor decisions, So it
Speaker 5: could be other things has kind of changed our relationship,
Speaker 5: I guess some, but that's the one that's like, what.
Speaker 1: The fuck, Scotty, you gotta eat this all right?
Speaker 2: I'd eat it you just gotta eat it.
Speaker 1: You just gotta like. Look, I don't know if you
Speaker 1: I don't know whether or not you should go and
Speaker 1: tell him, but don't, don't let What do you.
Speaker 5: Think I should do?
Speaker 1: I think you should do?
Speaker 5: You think I should?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think you should?
Speaker 2: Interesting?
Speaker 5: Oh all right, well maybe I will.
Speaker 1: Is that footage you We don't know how many generations
Speaker 1: that footage is gonna be passed down through.
Speaker 5: I don't even remember the footage at this point.
Speaker 2: It's in like five years. I can't remember what it
Speaker 2: looks like. I'm looked back at it. I'm like, I
Speaker 2: wish I remember.
Speaker 1: Years ago. Scotty has happened five years ago. You gotta
Speaker 1: deal with you gotta deal with this, Scott. You gotta
Speaker 1: eat this all right?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 5: Well, thank you, Lou.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else? Who I say to the people
Speaker 1: of the computer before we go?
Speaker 2: Yea, all was on Friday night? Get wild for me,
Speaker 2: have a.
Speaker 1: Good night, Scotty man. Now I kind of want to
Speaker 1: go in a family vacation with Scotty's family. It sounds
Speaker 1: like it's fun. Hi, Hi, who is this?
Speaker 3: I love?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 1: I love?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Uh, what's going on with you today?
Speaker 3: There's plenty, but I told the call screener, I, okay,
Speaker 3: I have a weird name. I'm Eastern European and I
Speaker 3: grew up for Eastern European. Right that being said, I
Speaker 3: have a lot of friends who are the same way
Speaker 3: as me, one being my best friend, who I've known
Speaker 3: since I was two, and like within the last two years,
Speaker 3: he's told me that he's in love with me and
Speaker 3: that we're going to get married. But I strongly believe
Speaker 3: he's gay, and I've heard stories, but he doesn't know
Speaker 3: that I know any of that, and I'm wondering if
Speaker 3: I should tell him.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you have this childhood friend who claims they're
Speaker 1: in love with you, but you believe they are gay.
Speaker 3: Yep, And oh, okay. Me personally, when I I'm just
Speaker 3: an anxious human being. When I hear people like come
Speaker 3: up to me and tell me, hey, I heard this
Speaker 3: about you, I get super embarrassed, even if it's not true,
Speaker 3: and I feel like being gay, there's nothing to be
Speaker 3: embarrassed about whatsoever. If he's gay, more power to him.
Speaker 3: He should just tell me so I can be there welcome.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, so hold on. So but before we get
Speaker 1: into him, tell me about you. Do you have romantic
Speaker 1: feelings for this guy? No.
Speaker 3: I look at him and okay, he's like conventionally attractive.
Speaker 3: I have a boyfriend and I got a boyfriend in
Speaker 3: the last three years, and they don't get along. Because
Speaker 3: I've told my boyfriend how he's told me he likes me. Obviously,
Speaker 3: I have to tell my boyfriend that. Sure, But I
Speaker 3: grew up with him, like, I love him so much
Speaker 3: like a brother, and I don't with my friends, my friends.
Speaker 3: He's tried to make me jealous by dating myself.
Speaker 1: So hold on, you said Ila, You said yes, Isla.
Speaker 1: So here's kind of like just off the bat is, Like,
Speaker 1: you know, I think the reason I asked you is
Speaker 1: if you like him back, because that's the only thing
Speaker 1: that I think matters here. You know, you speculating about
Speaker 1: your friend's sexuality. I think you're doing it from a
Speaker 1: nice place. Well, hold on, give you the second. I
Speaker 1: think it's okay, it's okay. I think you're doing it
Speaker 1: from a nice place. I think you're coming at it
Speaker 1: from like I want him to tell me so that
Speaker 1: I can be there for him. And you know, I think,
Speaker 1: like I said, you're doing it from a kind place.
Speaker 1: But you have to understand, you know, whether whether or
Speaker 1: not like this guy's sexuality in terms of the question
Speaker 1: of him liking you is irrelevant. The only thing that's
Speaker 1: relevant is whether or not you like him back, and
Speaker 1: you don't. And so at this point with your friend,
Speaker 1: whatever you have heard, whatever you are speculating, is irrelevant
Speaker 1: because if your friend wants to come out to you
Speaker 1: and come out to the way, he'll do it on
Speaker 1: his own time, and you know, you can let him know.
Speaker 1: You can let him you can, and you can let
Speaker 1: him know however you want to, in whatever subtle way,
Speaker 1: not necessarily saying hey, I heard this, and just say
Speaker 1: you know, if this, then this, but just just let
Speaker 1: him know that you were supportive friend. In general.
Speaker 3: I try to bring it up and he like, but
Speaker 3: I'm but I try to be extremely vague, so it's
Speaker 3: like really bad the way that I'm like, I'm just
Speaker 3: trying to get it out of him, and we're both
Speaker 3: super accepting people. But I don't think he'll ever admit
Speaker 3: it to like anyone, let alone himself. And that's love.
Speaker 1: You don't you don't need to feel bad, you don't
Speaker 1: need to keep speculating about his sexuality. You don't, I
Speaker 1: don't even don't think about it, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: It's it's all you should be doing.
Speaker 3: I don't have to worry about with myself and how
Speaker 3: I feel.
Speaker 1: And well there's that, but I listen, just just just
Speaker 1: be a good friend to this person. Don't keep thinking
Speaker 1: about their sexuality. Don't try to like get them to
Speaker 1: admit anything to you. They'll they'll do it on their
Speaker 1: own time.
Speaker 3: But I kind of feel like I'm being a bad
Speaker 3: friend to him because I'm keeping the secret from him. Like, hey,
Speaker 3: people are saying that, Like we grew up in a
Speaker 3: really small town and we still live here. Like if
Speaker 3: you go to a bar, you're going to be at
Speaker 3: the bar with every person you went to high school,
Speaker 3: middle school with and their parents pretty much, right, And
Speaker 3: all these people know this about him, and like they've
Speaker 3: told me, and I feel like he's the only person
Speaker 3: that doesn't know people are saying this about him.
Speaker 1: Okay, so what I tell him you? Okay, so you're
Speaker 1: trying to decide whether or not you should report the
Speaker 1: rumors that other people yeah.
Speaker 3: To him because I've been holding it in for like
Speaker 3: almost two years now, Okay, can I tell you what
Speaker 3: the rumor is. Sure, and there's a reason why I
Speaker 3: think it's true. So he's like a gym guy, right,
Speaker 3: he's a bodybuilder. He's like strong, and apparently he's been
Speaker 3: hooking up with the bartender who's also like a dream
Speaker 3: a dym rat from those two bars in my town,
Speaker 3: from one of the local bars, he's been hooking up
Speaker 3: with him. And Christmas Day, me and him, we went
Speaker 3: to his family's like Christmas like breakfast, and then after
Speaker 3: he was like, Hey, I'm gonna go get that can
Speaker 3: I say weed of marijuana from his buddy? And it
Speaker 3: was and he brought me with him, but it was
Speaker 3: the most weird interaction and it was him in the
Speaker 3: sky and he like gave him like freed and.
Speaker 1: Like, okay, give me a second. I think we're getting.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: No, you're you're you're totally fine. I'm glad that we're
Speaker 1: talking about this, but just give me a second here,
Speaker 1: because I think you're talking about these You're I'm the
Speaker 1: one who said sure, so I'll take the blame for
Speaker 1: you explaining that, but I'm thinking about it.
Speaker 3: I'm a talker, so it's unnervous and tell me to
Speaker 3: shut up.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's okay, Okay. So here's the thing. I think
Speaker 1: that again. You know, you didn't know you're coming at
Speaker 1: everything with good intentions. You know, you're like, should I
Speaker 1: tell my friend because hold on, yes, okay, it's okay,
Speaker 1: it's okay, okay, you're coming at everything with good intentions.
Speaker 1: You know, you're like, Okay, people are talking shit about
Speaker 1: my friend. It is my duty as a friend to
Speaker 1: report when they're talking shit. And on that note, as
Speaker 1: to whether or not it's your duty to report any
Speaker 1: shit talk or rumors going on about your friend, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm thinking about it. You're making me think
Speaker 1: about it right now, because on one hand, I really
Speaker 1: do believe that ignorance is bliss and your friend might
Speaker 1: just be completely better off not even knowing or thinking
Speaker 1: about these rumors, are knowing that they exist because what
Speaker 1: other people are saying about this guy is irrelevant to
Speaker 1: him and his experience of life. And then on the
Speaker 1: other hand, it's like, Okay, maybe you feel like it's
Speaker 1: your duty to report these things and not just be
Speaker 1: ignorant about it. I don't know. I don't really have
Speaker 1: any answer to that. I think it's an interesting thing
Speaker 1: to kind of think about. But just listen. Whatever you
Speaker 1: do isila. Don't try to milk this or like speculate
Speaker 1: about your friend. Don't join into the rumors. Don't tell
Speaker 1: anybody else the rumors. Just try to ignore.
Speaker 3: Them anyone talk about him.
Speaker 1: Be in your head thinking about always my friend hooking
Speaker 1: up with this part. Just be a friend to this
Speaker 1: guy and I And if I were you, I would
Speaker 1: I think you should just stop speculating on his sexuality
Speaker 1: and accept friend that he'll come out when he is
Speaker 1: ready to do so, if he is ready to do so.
Speaker 3: But the friend thing, I'm torn with the friend thing
Speaker 3: as well because he says that he likes me and
Speaker 3: he feels a certain way, but I feel like he's
Speaker 3: kind of rude in the way that he goes about it.
Speaker 3: Like I feel like if I don't like him and
Speaker 3: I tell him I'm not interested, then he like doesn't
Speaker 3: talk to me for how over long? So it's like,
Speaker 3: am I really doing a favor for a friend by
Speaker 3: not telling him, because like he was really my friend?
Speaker 1: This is this you just you just brought up a
Speaker 1: completely separate issue from anything that we've talked about.
Speaker 3: I know, I know, I'm gonna say, I call you.
Speaker 3: I call you every time you're on stream. I get
Speaker 3: the notification. I call within like the first five minutes,
Speaker 3: and I never thought i'd get this far.
Speaker 1: No, it's it's okay, it's okay. Just listen to me
Speaker 1: for a second. Okay, I'm gonna do. This is the
Speaker 1: last thing I'm gonna say to you. You're coming You're
Speaker 1: coming in here with like. Again. I think good intentions.
Speaker 1: You want to be a good friend. That's where we're
Speaker 1: operating from. I think it's a good place to operate from.
Speaker 1: But you're you're coming in here with like. Oh, I
Speaker 1: think there he might be this, and I think possibly this,
Speaker 1: and maybe this and maybe this. If you what you
Speaker 1: just told me about how you think he's being rude
Speaker 1: about it, and you want to preserve the friendship, Okay,
Speaker 1: tell that to him. Tell that to him. Okay, And
Speaker 1: if he says to you and if and listen, if
Speaker 1: he says to you, listen, I like you too much.
Speaker 1: And because I like you, I can't just be friends
Speaker 1: with you, and so I have to live with the
Speaker 1: amount of contact I have with you. That's that's his
Speaker 1: boundary and you should accept that too. Okay, So just.
Speaker 3: Way of thinking, and I feel like he's a little toxic,
Speaker 3: and I feel like it's the Eastern European in him.
Speaker 3: But I feel like he wouldn't go that way, like
Speaker 3: you wouldn't say that.
Speaker 1: What do you think he would? Well? Okay, dude, well, dude, dude.
Speaker 1: Let you don't know what he would say unless if
Speaker 1: you fucking tell them. So sitting here wondering whether what
Speaker 1: he would say is under.
Speaker 3: The conversation with him all the time. And I've had
Speaker 3: it with like my friends, all of our friends that
Speaker 3: we grew up together, like we can, like our families
Speaker 3: came to this country, like to America at the same time,
Speaker 3: so we all grew up together and like kind of
Speaker 3: similarly at home, Like I don't know, at school, I
Speaker 3: always felt like you had one foot in one door
Speaker 3: and then one out.
Speaker 1: The other when you LISTENLA, is there anything else you
Speaker 1: want to say to the people of the computer before
Speaker 1: we go?
Speaker 3: Can I say something to you?
Speaker 1: What's up?
Speaker 3: I've called before to tell you this, but I found
Speaker 3: your podcast and I you have me thinking about like
Speaker 3: life situations in such a healthy, like way. Good and
Speaker 3: you literally seriously like the way that you like like
Speaker 3: process things that people say to you, and like the
Speaker 3: way you go about it is like so healthy and
Speaker 3: so cool, and I really appreciate it. It has me thinking
Speaker 3: about my life and like the way I respond to
Speaker 3: things in such a better way.
Speaker 1: I'm going to try to I'm going to try to
Speaker 1: take my own Thank you. I appreciate that very much.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna try to start all over the place I thought.
Speaker 1: No, it's okay, I don't worry. But like I said,
Speaker 1: you're coming at it with good intentions, and I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: I'm going to try to take my own advice and uh,
Speaker 1: live live live better according to how I tell other
Speaker 1: people to live in my personal life.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I feel like it's so easy to like say,
Speaker 3: like give people advice, but taking it at yourself it's
Speaker 3: the hardest start. But yeah, you're amazing. I look at
Speaker 3: things so much better now because of you, and I Yeah,
Speaker 3: I really wish I got to see you in Boston,
Speaker 3: but I.
Speaker 1: Hope to see you next year in Boston, And good
Speaker 1: luck with your friends, and I will talk to you.
Speaker 3: It was so good talking to you. Finally, have a
Speaker 3: rest of the day of your day.
Speaker 4: Bye.
Speaker 1: You know it's funny it's funny. It's funny, she said
Speaker 1: all this stuff. And then I said, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to do it more in my personal life because
Speaker 1: I think what I told her of Like, I mean
Speaker 1: that interaction we had where I was like, I told her, Okay,
Speaker 1: why don't you tell him this? And she said, but
Speaker 1: if I tell him this, he's going to say this.
Speaker 1: And then I said, well, you don't know what he's
Speaker 1: going to say unless if you actually go and tell him.
Speaker 1: That's something I think I should do more in my
Speaker 1: personal life. You know, that was an easy thing for
Speaker 1: me to tell someone because having tough conversation. It's so
Speaker 1: easy to tell somebody to go run and have a
Speaker 1: tough conversation. But I think it's harder, to harder to
Speaker 1: actually do it. So I'll think about that. I'm always
Speaker 1: try I'm trying to check myself more often. I'm like,
Speaker 1: i'd go on a podcast and talk to other people
Speaker 1: about their lives. I hope I practice things that I
Speaker 1: tell others, or it could just be a giant gecko
Speaker 1: hypocrite guy. Anyway, Thank you Isla for did I say
Speaker 1: that right? Isla? Thank you for talking to a get
Speaker 1: go on the phone. He'sla. Hello, Hello, what's new with you?
Speaker 4: Nothing much? I saw you out in Denver on Wednesday.
Speaker 2: Your live shows are super good.
Speaker 1: Oh fuck yeah, no, thanks for coming to the Denver
Speaker 1: show Man. That was That was fine. That was crazy.
Speaker 1: I felt really good about that one.
Speaker 4: No, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's such a fun show.
Speaker 1: What's going on with you? My friend? What is it
Speaker 1: that you called in to talk about?
Speaker 4: I wanted to call you about something called monkey time.
Speaker 4: It's been happening to me since middle school.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it says here. That says here you wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about monkey time. And I saw that and I
Speaker 1: was like, what the hell is that? And I figured
Speaker 1: the only way to answer that question is to ask you.
Speaker 4: So monkey Time has happened since middle school. So basically
Speaker 4: what happens is I'd be hanging out with my friends,
Speaker 4: like four guys, and at some point in the night
Speaker 4: they'd see monkey time and they would pin me to
Speaker 4: the ground and tickle me until I screamed like a monkey.
Speaker 1: Okay, now when did this start happening?
Speaker 4: So this started happening I would say sixth seventh grade.
Speaker 1: And how long has it been going on for.
Speaker 4: The last monkey time? Maybe a year ago? But I've
Speaker 4: since moved from my hometown, so the monkey times aren't
Speaker 4: as frequent.
Speaker 1: And how old are you know?
Speaker 4: I am twenty three?
Speaker 1: Okay, so you were having monkey time from seventh grade
Speaker 1: up until you were twenty two years old?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And is monkey time always directed towards you? Or is
Speaker 1: there a rotating sort of victim of the monkey time?
Speaker 4: That's the thing, Ryle, It has always just been me.
Speaker 4: There is no other person that takes a monkey time.
Speaker 1: Interesting. Why do you think your friends have designated you
Speaker 1: as the consistent monkey time taker?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 4: I think it's because I am extremely ticklish and I'm
Speaker 4: not quite as strong as them, so I'm very easy
Speaker 4: to overpower and tickle.
Speaker 1: Okay. Uh, how do you feel about being the constant
Speaker 1: subject of monkey time?
Speaker 4: Powerless?
Speaker 1: Interesting? Uh? Do you wish that your friends would stop
Speaker 1: doing monkey time on you?
Speaker 2: Sometimes?
Speaker 4: I do, but it's kind of nice to know that
Speaker 4: it's my thing. I'm special in my own way.
Speaker 1: Interesting. So, so you feel does a small part of
Speaker 1: you feel a sense of pride in being the constant
Speaker 1: subject of the monkey time?
Speaker 4: Yes? And uh, some of my friends are actually up
Speaker 4: in town right now, and I'm worried it might happen.
Speaker 4: They're downstairs, but if you want, you can talk to
Speaker 4: one of them about monkey time?
Speaker 1: Oh sure, yeah? Who can I talk to? Who invented
Speaker 1: the monkey time? Can I can I talk to them?
Speaker 4: I think the maker is in a different state.
Speaker 1: But okay, sure, I'll talk to one of your friends.
Speaker 4: I'll give you to a big instigator. Great, they're both
Speaker 4: really scared to pick one of them. I'm putting Brock on.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm not doing well.
Speaker 1: Hey, Brock, what's going on?
Speaker 2: Nothing much? How's it going?
Speaker 1: So, Brock? I heard about monkey Time? Oh yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: Well in your words, how would you how would you
Speaker 1: describe monkey time?
Speaker 7: You know, it sort of just started as a friendly thing.
Speaker 7: We Teith was really really good at me, Like when
Speaker 7: we tiggled him, he sound exactly like a monkey. So
Speaker 7: it started off as that and that'd be a joke.
Speaker 7: We just like passed by him in the hallways, give
Speaker 7: him little touch on the side, and he screamed like
Speaker 7: a monkey, and we all thought it was hilarious.
Speaker 1: So you say it started friendly, did it then become hostile?
Speaker 2: No? No, he's always been friendly.
Speaker 1: Okay, actually, kay, what's your friend's name again?
Speaker 2: Keith?
Speaker 1: Okay, can talk to Keith real quick.
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. Let me pass the phone back.
Speaker 1: Hey, Keith, can I hear this monkey noise? Oh?
Speaker 4: I can try and recreate it?
Speaker 1: Like, how would you feel about doing a monkey time
Speaker 1: right now.
Speaker 2: On the phone?
Speaker 4: All right, I'll be consenting to it, so it'll be
Speaker 4: better than usual.
Speaker 1: Okay, good, all right, I'm gonna try and do this.
Speaker 1: So so sorry, are you gonna get your friends?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's right here. It's gonna happen.
Speaker 2: All right, all right, you're good to go back.
Speaker 4: I'm good, okay, Lyle. Yeah, I'm not sure if it's
Speaker 4: a uh I think I'm too nervous to uh do
Speaker 4: a natural monkey noise.
Speaker 1: Okay, I mean you don't have to do it if
Speaker 1: you don't want to.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I try it though.
Speaker 1: Okay. So I mean you say you're nervous, do you
Speaker 1: do you not like monkey time?
Speaker 4: You know, for a long time I didn't like monkey time.
Speaker 4: It did bother me for a while. But now I've
Speaker 4: been I feel like I've gained power back by going
Speaker 4: out of town. I've been working on myself, but then
Speaker 4: going to the gym, and now I think if they
Speaker 4: do try and monkey timey right now. I think I
Speaker 4: can fight back. I think I'll be strong enough.
Speaker 1: Mm. I like this arc that you've developed for yourself.
Speaker 1: Were you once we're weak and now you are strongly
Speaker 1: You're like a monkey they turned into a gorilla.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and my dream is to one day give monkey
Speaker 4: time to one of them.
Speaker 1: Ah. Do you feel as though committing monkey time upon
Speaker 1: one of them would serve as a retribution for all
Speaker 1: the monkey time that has been bestowed upon you?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, I think it would be a good I
Speaker 4: know revenge isn't good, but I think it would be
Speaker 4: a healthy thing for me and maybe them too.
Speaker 1: Well. Listen, Keith, I hope that you eventually get whatever
Speaker 1: it is you're looking for rut of this entire monkey
Speaker 1: time debacle.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 1: And before we do you have friends outside of these friends?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 8: Good?
Speaker 4: They when I bring a monkey time to them for
Speaker 4: a while, they're a little disturbed about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think you have to be there, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I think that you uh, searching for
Speaker 1: perspectives outside of your friend group on monkey time is
Speaker 1: a good thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker 2: Sayment.
Speaker 1: I'll talk to you soon, Keith.
Speaker 2: All right, Thanks Lyle.
Speaker 1: Hello, folks, it is Lyle. Lately, I've been ending my
Speaker 1: Sunday podcasts with an excerpt from my street interview segments,
Speaker 1: and I'm excited for you guys to listen to this one.
Speaker 1: It's a conversation I had on the campus of Harvard
Speaker 1: University in Boston with a very smart student who is
Speaker 1: navigating her way through life, through trying to be a
Speaker 1: high achiever, through dealing with other people's expectations. And I
Speaker 1: just really enjoyed having this talk on the campus of
Speaker 1: Boston University. And I'm gonna Boston of Harvard University. I
Speaker 1: don't even know where I am anymore. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna shut up. I hate ramboly intros. I would
Speaker 1: rather you guys just listen to the conversation without me
Speaker 1: having to explain anything. But I'm here to explain the
Speaker 1: jarring contrast between the phone calls and hearing me out
Speaker 1: in public talking to real people. So that is why
Speaker 1: I am recording this. Okay, anyway, let's get into it.
Speaker 1: What's up, man, what's your name? I'm Nya, nice to
Speaker 1: meet you. I'm Lyle. I'm a Gecko guy.
Speaker 8: How's it like? What's it like being a gecko.
Speaker 1: It feels good. I like not being anything, if that
Speaker 1: makes sense, Like you're nia, you're a person, you exist.
Speaker 1: I'm perceiving you right now. Me I'm gonna theorial gecko.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't. I'm not really here right now.
Speaker 1: I'm here, I don't. Actually, that's a good point saying.
Speaker 1: Do you feel as though you're here right now?
Speaker 8: But I'm not sure if you're here.
Speaker 1: Are you good at living at naya right?
Speaker 8: Yes?
Speaker 1: Now? Are you good at living in the moments?
Speaker 8: I think I'm here right now?
Speaker 1: So yeah, okay, okay, let's be in the moment. Then
Speaker 1: what do you What are you all about, Naya? What's
Speaker 1: give us a baseline of your life, a baseline of
Speaker 1: my life? Yeah, I'd love to hear.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 6: I was born and raised in South Carolina, but my
Speaker 6: family's Syrian. Okay, so, got a lot of cultures going on.
Speaker 6: I really love the brain. So I'm studying neuroscience.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that sounds that sounds difficult. There's even
Speaker 1: an expression. It's not brain surgery.
Speaker 8: Right, And I want to be a brain surgeon.
Speaker 1: You want to be a brain I want to let
Speaker 1: me ask you this because this one of the first
Speaker 1: people that sat down told me that he was having
Speaker 1: a really hard time because he's in a tough major
Speaker 1: and he is, you know, very passionate about what he does.
Speaker 1: But it feels like it doesn't have enough time to
Speaker 1: go live life and do other things, and you're doing
Speaker 1: one of the hardest things a person could attempt to do.
Speaker 1: How do you carve time for other aspects of your life?
Speaker 6: Well, seeing like I got three hours of sleep last night,
Speaker 6: Oh my goodness, time gets.
Speaker 8: Carved out there. But I don't know. I believe if
Speaker 8: you say you're gonna do something, you.
Speaker 1: Just do it.
Speaker 8: We just do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you do you do break easily?
Speaker 8: No, I've been through I've been through some ship.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, okay. So you feel like in the past,
Speaker 1: your your life has prepared you for this experience of
Speaker 1: attempting to do something very challenging.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Like, I've wanted to Harvard has been my dream
Speaker 6: since I was four, really since forever, and I wanted
Speaker 6: to do it. And now that I'm here, I owe
Speaker 6: it to like everyone that helped me to get here,
Speaker 6: to just keep doing what I was.
Speaker 1: Who can tell me about the people that helped you
Speaker 1: to be here?
Speaker 6: My parents probably the best people I've ever met. Okay,
Speaker 6: very tough, very tough, very Arab immigrant parents, very crazy. Uh,
Speaker 6: my best friend Emily raf Bella, like, I have some
Speaker 6: really great friends in my life.
Speaker 1: So you're I want to talk about your parents. What
Speaker 1: kinds of you said? They were very tough? What kinds
Speaker 1: of like things did they instill upon you or things
Speaker 1: growing up that you feel like shaped you into who
Speaker 1: you are today.
Speaker 6: So when I was in first grade, this one is
Speaker 6: my favorite story because now we're at Harvard. When I
Speaker 6: was in first grade, I brought home a spelling test
Speaker 6: and I got a seventy. The words were stupid, right,
Speaker 6: It's like, I don't know putting, Like it's first grade.
Speaker 6: But I was like, you think Harvard takes kids who
Speaker 6: got who get seas well? Harvard did, But like that's
Speaker 6: kind of the thing, like there's a there was kind
Speaker 6: of there was always pressure, yeah, but then after a while,
Speaker 6: like you internalize like your own drive.
Speaker 1: Interesting. Yeah, So they give you the pressure and then
Speaker 1: it's kind of like you're on a bike and they're
Speaker 1: pushing it with their pressure and then they let go
Speaker 1: and then you have your own wheels of pressure that
Speaker 1: are spinning and making it go forward and then like.
Speaker 6: With a bike, you're gonna fall, Okay, you're gonna get
Speaker 6: back up the end.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 6: It's like it sounds like so stupid, But I do
Speaker 6: believe that if you like when you when you believe
Speaker 6: you're gonna do something, you just do it.
Speaker 1: Interesting, have you experienced attempting to do things and failing
Speaker 1: at them many times and misering getting here? And how
Speaker 1: do you bounce back from those failures.
Speaker 6: I like to think that I'm an optimist. I like
Speaker 6: to think that I've romanticized life, because otherwise, like everything
Speaker 6: is horrible. If it's not a learning experience, then you're
Speaker 6: gonna think it's horrible.
Speaker 1: Sure.
Speaker 6: Yeah, So like in the past two years, I've gotten
Speaker 6: rejected from a lot of things, and if I give
Speaker 6: it time, in the next month, I actually get an
Speaker 6: opportunity that was way better in the first place.
Speaker 1: Interesting.
Speaker 6: Yeah, wait, time everything works out. I fully believe it.
Speaker 1: I agree with that. I feel that every time I
Speaker 1: go and sit out here, like you know, sometimes nobody
Speaker 1: wants to come talk. Sometimes we get an interview that
Speaker 1: doesn't go well, but then you push past it. You
Speaker 1: get to talk to some interesting people. I've been learning
Speaker 1: that myself.
Speaker 8: No, because I'm happy you're here right now, like wholeheartedly.
Speaker 8: I liked.
Speaker 6: I've been thinking to myself that if you do more bold,
Speaker 6: random things, then you just become a bolder person.
Speaker 1: What's the last bold random thing that you did?
Speaker 6: It was our friend's birthday like two days maybe yesterday,
Speaker 6: two days ago, and I thought it'd be funny to
Speaker 6: stand on the table in Annenberg, our dining hall and
Speaker 6: to get the cafeteria to sing Happy Birthday.
Speaker 1: Did you successfully do it?
Speaker 6: I have done it before, and I've done it when
Speaker 6: it's not actually anyone's birthday.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, you seem like you're very good at putting
Speaker 1: yourself out there.
Speaker 6: I'm doing it because I'm not very good at it
Speaker 6: in high school. Yes, I wasn't very good at it
Speaker 6: at least, And now I'm doing it because why.
Speaker 1: Not exposure therapy? Just like ye brute force, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get so I feel so uncomfortable with doing this thing
Speaker 1: that I gotta do it to to learn.
Speaker 6: Yeah, my Like, I started journaling and meditating, and like
Speaker 6: the word I wrote down for this year at was unapologetic. Unapologetic,
Speaker 6: So like everything is either you're being unapologetic or you're
Speaker 6: gonna wonder what if?
Speaker 1: Do you have any what ifs that you've left on
Speaker 1: the table.
Speaker 6: No, but I read this quote that was like, the
Speaker 6: only regrets you have in life is wishing you had
Speaker 6: been more empathetic in a situation. Like, I don't regret anything,
Speaker 6: because the point that I'm at now is amazing, like
Speaker 6: tearing my I told my aco playing soccer, and I
Speaker 6: always said like if only I hadn't done that, we
Speaker 6: would have won state championships whatever. But then I created
Speaker 6: my research project out of it, and I wrote about
Speaker 6: that in my Harvard like application, and now I'm here.
Speaker 1: Ah, you think that because that you know, it's it's
Speaker 1: funny that when a thing like that happens, that's bad
Speaker 1: and you couldn't even possibly think of a way that
Speaker 1: it could turn into a good thing, and then it
Speaker 1: turns into a good thing. Yeah, in a weird way.
Speaker 6: It's like I still I literally still have right me pain,
Speaker 6: so like I can't play soccer, but now I'm walking
Speaker 6: onto the crew team hopefully.
Speaker 1: So why brain surgery? Was it just kind of like
Speaker 1: a Mount Everest? We did it because it was so
Speaker 1: hard thing?
Speaker 6: No, I definitely don't think I'm that type of person,
Speaker 6: because like, I get very I think a lot, and
Speaker 6: I overthink sometimes, and I'm usually the friend that like
Speaker 6: feels events like deeper per se, like we just may
Speaker 6: just feel them, you know, that like annoying person that
Speaker 6: goes like, oh, I'm an EmPATH. I'm not that person,
Speaker 6: but I do think about that. But no brain surgery,
Speaker 6: because like I said, I've always thought just like very deeply,
Speaker 6: and I like would have the same experience as someone
Speaker 6: and I just experience it differently. And I started wondering why,
Speaker 6: And then I came across like consciousness, like how do
Speaker 6: I think about my own thinking and like my experience
Speaker 6: right now, and like why am I thinking so differently?
Speaker 6: And so with that comes neuroscience. And I've always known
Speaker 6: I wanted to be some sort of doctor. I really
Speaker 6: love medicine. So as I fell in love with neuroscience,
Speaker 6: I just thought to myself, what is more vulnerable? Like
Speaker 6: what is the biggest test of trust than to hold
Speaker 6: someone's thinking in your own hands?
Speaker 1: Wow? Interesting? Does learning about the brain and how it
Speaker 1: works key you in a lot to your own methods
Speaker 1: of thinking?
Speaker 6: I think it's interesting because I found a lot of
Speaker 6: like thinking about my own thinking through meditation and on
Speaker 6: that path, Like, I don't think neuroscience is exactly it,
Speaker 6: but it's more so just the observation of everything going on.
Speaker 6: Like my favorite thing is that because I'm so talkative
Speaker 6: and I do a lot of stuff, people never think
Speaker 6: I'm actually observing what's going on. But I really like
Speaker 6: observing my friends. My favorite thing to do is to
Speaker 6: ask them if they have siblings, and no matter what
Speaker 6: their answer is, just say, interesting, you have a younger brother,
Speaker 6: I have an older sister.
Speaker 8: Interesting, I see.
Speaker 1: I say that. Do your friends ever like feel feel
Speaker 1: too perceived around you because you're observing them so much?
Speaker 6: I think yes, And like, because we're here now and
Speaker 6: we're like meeting new people, sometimes people might not like
Speaker 6: they think you know how some people do they just
Speaker 6: want to have fun, and like, I think I'm a
Speaker 6: fun person, but I'm a very like deep person as well.
Speaker 6: I don't love the lighthearted fun like I need some
Speaker 6: sort of I need more to it. Okay, So a
Speaker 6: lot of my friends will like feel like they're being
Speaker 6: perceived when they're being around me, And at first it's
Speaker 6: a little vulnerable because I'm the person like I don't
Speaker 6: text one words. I text paragraphs, So I think it's
Speaker 6: fun because I'm perceiving them. And then when they're upset
Speaker 6: and I like know the upset but they haven't like
Speaker 6: clued us in, it's more fun for me because then
Speaker 6: you can like help without saying why you're helping.
Speaker 1: What does your idea of fun look like? If you're
Speaker 1: not into kind of just you seem like everything you
Speaker 1: do you want to get something out of it, not
Speaker 1: just like kind of hang out and vibe. Is that accurate?
Speaker 8: I guess?
Speaker 6: I also think though that, like I actually have one
Speaker 6: of my friends behind the camera right now. She's a
Speaker 6: very fun person. She is the lighthearted, fun like giggly person.
Speaker 6: So like here at Harvard, like I can do the
Speaker 6: fun stuff, but I also really like going to coffee
Speaker 6: shops and just like having a drink and talking.
Speaker 1: Are you talk to strangers a lot around I'll.
Speaker 8: Talk to strangers.
Speaker 6: I don't know if I have as much as possible,
Speaker 6: but like most of my friends actually are like people
Speaker 6: that I saw online on Instagram that are we're going
Speaker 6: to Harvard and I just like I slid in the.
Speaker 1: Ms splitting in their dms. Yeah, that's is that how
Speaker 1: you met your friend behind the camera.
Speaker 6: Actually I met her at so Visitas is like the
Speaker 6: Harvard visit weekend, and we were at like a little
Speaker 6: like mixer fundraiser or something was going on, super tight room,
Speaker 6: and she came up to me and she started talking
Speaker 6: to like the people that were around me, but not
Speaker 6: to me.
Speaker 8: And I was like, oh, purpose she was like this,
Speaker 8: what is this?
Speaker 6: So I could have been offended, but I kind of
Speaker 6: thought it was funny. So afterward I just went up
Speaker 6: to her and I was asked her for a snap.
Speaker 6: I was like, hey, that was pretty funny, like whatever,
Speaker 6: and now she's everywhere, so.
Speaker 1: Wow, I love I love that. That's like you you
Speaker 1: changed your perception, you took control of it. You were like,
Speaker 1: I am not going to be offended. I am going
Speaker 1: to make this a productive thing. And then you reached
Speaker 1: out and now you guys are friends, and that's a
Speaker 1: really powerful thing to do. I feel like that's the
Speaker 1: kind of stuff that happens when you do all this
Speaker 1: stuff that you're talking about of being conscious of your
Speaker 1: own thoughts and trying to be mindful.
Speaker 8: I'm really trying.
Speaker 6: I think I've had like a struggle with being unapologetic because, like,
Speaker 6: I don't know, I'm a loud person. I'm a six
Speaker 6: foot tall girl. Like I guess you can't tell because
Speaker 6: I'm seated, but I don't know. I really like how
Speaker 6: I've been handling myself since I've come here, and so
Speaker 6: I'm proud of that.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. It's also cool that you know these practices
Speaker 1: are having like real life effects that are changing your
Speaker 1: timeline positively, things like you meeting her and everything that
Speaker 1: you've done to get here at Harvard. I want to
Speaker 1: know what things in the future that you're uncomfortable with
Speaker 1: are you trying to become more comfortable with because you
Speaker 1: seem like you're always trying to improve upon things. Is
Speaker 1: there anything that you're trying to improve upon your next
Speaker 1: mountain that you're gonna climb at all?
Speaker 6: Well, I was just talking with some one, how like
Speaker 6: there is fifteen years between now and whenever I could
Speaker 6: be an attending surgeon. Yeah, and within those fifteen years
Speaker 6: anything could happen. I could injure one of my fingers,
Speaker 6: I could anything could happen, Like I could not be
Speaker 6: a surgeon, I could hate neuroscience. I could go into
Speaker 6: consulting like a lot of the ECON kids here, I
Speaker 6: probably won't.
Speaker 1: I will.
Speaker 6: I think I'll stay with neuroscience because, like I said,
Speaker 6: if I believe something to do it, I'm uncomfortable with
Speaker 6: the idea that I'm so driven. Am I gonna miss
Speaker 6: out on something?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Sure, And I think just.
Speaker 6: But being uncomfortable, I will. I will just wholeheartedly plug
Speaker 6: my favorite like YouTube collective of all time, Yes Theory.
Speaker 6: Their motto is seek discomfort. So when you ask me
Speaker 6: if I'm uncomfortable, I'll be like, Okay, yeah I'm uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: What do you think that you might miss?
Speaker 8: I'm not sure.
Speaker 6: I think being someone who's been so passionate and like
Speaker 6: I'm from South Carolina, we don't know the same resources
Speaker 6: that kids like up here or in California know about,
Speaker 6: like getting to college, Like I had to apply for
Speaker 6: every club of all time, try to be a leader
Speaker 6: in all of them, like focus on my grades, and
Speaker 6: I know, like I had a different high school experience
Speaker 6: than a lot of my friends. So like I had
Speaker 6: FOMO for a while long time, I was like, did
Speaker 6: I miss something? But I'm I'm still happy I'm here.
Speaker 6: But it's also just like it's uncomfortable knowing you didn't
Speaker 6: experience things like other people might have.
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like and you were you were alluding
Speaker 1: to this too, like you you had what you wanted
Speaker 1: to do, and so you're doing it. And if you're
Speaker 1: gonna do that, you know, you're all whatever you do.
Speaker 1: If you if you were to indulge in the things
Speaker 1: that you felt like you were missing, you'd be missing that.
Speaker 1: There's always an opportunity cost of anything that you're doing.
Speaker 1: And it's it's I myself struggle with, like, you know,
Speaker 1: thinking about opportunity costs a lot. I think a lot
Speaker 1: of people do. I think a lot of people I
Speaker 1: have talked to today do. But that's all. It's just
Speaker 1: it's just an acceptance of the fact that there's always
Speaker 1: gonna be an opportunity cost. You're never gonna get to
Speaker 1: do everything.
Speaker 6: I just love that you said opportunity costs because my
Speaker 6: friend behind the camera, she's always saying opportunity costs. Because
Speaker 6: they're in X ten right now. That's actually the class.
Speaker 6: And I just joined the crew team. This morning was
Speaker 6: our first practice, six thirty am. I just found out
Speaker 6: I got into the clubs I wanted like I'm I'm really,
Speaker 6: I'm really like throwing the net wide.
Speaker 1: Yes, sure, and I know that.
Speaker 6: Opportunity cost is gonna come into place soon. But at
Speaker 6: the end of the day, like I think, things will
Speaker 6: work out, and then once they work out, you're not
Speaker 6: gonna wonder like what could have been, because you're gonna
Speaker 6: be happy with where you are, I hope.
Speaker 1: So what's your name again?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I got it. I'm always forgetting people's names.
Speaker 8: And you're not just Gecko. You have a name, Lyle Lyle.
Speaker 1: Yes, Lyle very nice to meet you. Is the anything
Speaker 1: else you want to say to the people of the
Speaker 1: computer before we go? I love y'all.
Speaker 8: That's about it?
Speaker 2: NA.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh man, that was interesting stuff. It's it's cool
Speaker 1: to hear people who I've tacked down to talk to
Speaker 1: you today all have like very you know, similar issues
Speaker 1: with each other. Uh, because I feel like people a lot,
Speaker 1: just with anyone having any issue tends to feel like
Speaker 1: they could be like alone in it, you know, and
Speaker 1: and having people come and talk about what's going on
Speaker 1: with them and these struggles of opportunity costs or of
Speaker 1: Oh I'm focusing on this so I have to neglect that.
Speaker 1: How do I deal with that. It's it's a common
Speaker 1: uh experience between people. I myself for a while, I
Speaker 1: had had a period. I was overwhelmed by all of
Speaker 1: the options that the earth has of what to do
Speaker 1: with the time I have before in between birth and death.
Speaker 1: And I'm trying my best to not think about that
Speaker 1: opportunity cost. And she was awesome. It was just great
Speaker 1: talking to her about everything, and I wish her well
Speaker 1: in her quest to being uncomfortable. Never Being goes on
Speaker 1: the line taking your phone calls every night. Never Being
Speaker 1: goes to what his d's teaching you to loud in
Speaker 1: the meaning of your life. But he's not really an expert.