1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,440 Speaker 1: If there's only one place to turn when you need 2 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 1: life advice. And no, it's not doctor Phil. All he's 3 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: going to do is sit there and say what were 4 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 1: you thinking? Over and over again. And it's not your 5 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,119 Speaker 1: favorite influencer who has a very loose understanding of what 6 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 1: manifesting means. 7 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:18,960 Speaker 2: And it's not even. 8 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: Oprah because she's just going to tell you to take 9 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:24,599 Speaker 1: ozimpic like, oh no, it's the Jubil Show. And of 10 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 1: course it's almost Valentine's Day and one of our listeners 11 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 1: is in a messy situation made the wise decision of 12 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,600 Speaker 1: asking if they can come on this show and ask 13 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 1: are incredibly knowledgable and messy listeners how they can fix 14 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:37,519 Speaker 1: their life. And they're on the phone right now. Her 15 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:38,919 Speaker 1: name is Bailey. Bailey, what's up? 16 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 2: How are you? 17 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 3: Hey? 18 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:41,680 Speaker 4: Guys? I'm good? 19 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,239 Speaker 2: How are you good? What's your issue? What do you 20 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 2: need help with? 21 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:46,559 Speaker 5: Oh? 22 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 4: I definitely need some help. So here's my situation. Full disclosure. 23 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 4: I screwed up. First. I cheated on my boyfriend. 24 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 2: Okay, like how long ago? Okay? 25 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 6: A year ago? 26 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 2: Okay. I was wondering if it was just like just 27 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 2: happened before he called Ago and I don't know what 28 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 2: to do. 29 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 4: No, No, like a year ago, I cheated on him. 30 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:15,959 Speaker 4: It was just one time. It was this guy at 31 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:18,959 Speaker 4: the gym. It you know, didn't mean anything. It was 32 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:23,399 Speaker 4: so stupid of me. My boyfriend found out and he 33 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:27,319 Speaker 4: made me feel so awful for months, which well deserved 34 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 4: of course. 35 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 2: So you guys are still together, then we are. 36 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,000 Speaker 4: We're still together. 37 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,480 Speaker 2: It's sort of impressive because it takes a lot to 38 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 2: come back from that. 39 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:39,679 Speaker 4: Yeah, it does. It took it took a lot for 40 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 4: me to gain his trust back. But we've been doing 41 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 4: really well, so I know he has a lot of 42 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 4: plans for us for Valentine's Day, which is coming up. 43 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 4: And Okay, so here's the thing though. Last weekend I 44 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 4: went out with my girlfriends and we were at the 45 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 4: bar and ran into Oh no, no, that'd be so 46 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 4: much worse. 47 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,920 Speaker 2: Okay, so it's not that, Oh. 48 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:09,919 Speaker 4: Way, maybe it is. Anyway, So last weekend went out 49 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 4: with my girls. We were at the bar, and we 50 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:15,040 Speaker 4: actually ran into one of his friends at the bar. Okay, 51 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,520 Speaker 4: now I know this guy really well. Of course we 52 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 4: all hang out. So we all hung out. We were 53 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 4: all drinking and after a handful of drinks. My boyfriend's 54 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 4: friend let it slip that apparently my boyfriend also cheated 55 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 4: on me. 56 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 3: Oh who really, like around the same time or recently. 57 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 4: More recently, but that's from what I've gathered, it was 58 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:44,520 Speaker 4: about six months ago. 59 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 1: Okay, dude, this is your You just found this out 60 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: that he cheated on you as well. 61 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 4: Just found this out last weekend. 62 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:52,120 Speaker 2: So he never told us. 63 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 4: Uh no, my boyfriend never told me. I never saw 64 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,480 Speaker 4: any signs. I was completely oblivious until his friend and 65 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 4: he just let it slip. It was just like, you know, 66 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 4: I'm so glad that you guys are doing so well. Now, 67 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 4: you're such a cute come and like, how funny is 68 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,079 Speaker 4: it that you both cheated on each trouble? 69 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:12,519 Speaker 5: Wait? 70 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,239 Speaker 2: Wait both we both did? 71 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 5: Huh. 72 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 3: As a friend, you're probably like logically like, okay, they 73 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 3: canceled each other out. 74 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,079 Speaker 6: Yeah, the friend knows too much and they're like, it's 75 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,520 Speaker 6: just so greaty you guys together after all this turmoil 76 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 6: was one time. 77 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 3: For him. 78 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 4: From what it sounds like, I mean, I didn't ask 79 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 4: any questions because it sounded like he thought I already knew. 80 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 2: Okay, so what do you need help with? 81 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 4: So now I'm just trying to figure out, like what 82 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 4: do I do? He has got all these plans for 83 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 4: Valentine's Day. I don't want to ruin that. But you know, 84 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 4: do I end the relationship? Do I just let it slide? 85 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 4: Because we're kind of even now, Like, well, how do 86 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 4: I handle this? Do I talk to him about it? 87 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 4: I don't know what to do? 88 00:03:59,320 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 2: Okay? 89 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 1: Well, call up eight eight eight three four three one 90 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: oh six one eight eight eight three four three one 91 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: oh six one. Text in four to one oh six one. 92 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: What do you think Bailey should do? We'll talk to 93 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 1: Bailey more right after this and you can give her 94 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 1: your advice next. Bailey sounds hot if she wants to 95 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: cheat on her boyfriend again, so she's in the lead. 96 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:17,920 Speaker 2: Tell her to hit me up. 97 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 1: What text message we just got in at four one 98 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,680 Speaker 1: oh six one because one of our listeners, Bailey is 99 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 1: on the phone and she needs advice on how to 100 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 1: handle a difficult situation. And Bailey, you said you'll take 101 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: some phone calls from our listeners to give. 102 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 2: You some advice. 103 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 4: Yeah. Absolutely, okay, And. 104 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: If you didn't hear the first part, Bailey cheated on 105 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 1: her boyfriend about a year ago, and then she was 106 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: just out with some friends and she ran into one 107 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:47,599 Speaker 1: of his friends, and that person shared with her that 108 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,359 Speaker 1: her boyfriend has also cheated about six months ago, and 109 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,960 Speaker 1: Bailey had no idea, So she just learned this, and 110 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 1: she wonders. She's wondering what she should do. Should she 111 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,919 Speaker 1: break it off? Should she tell him? What should she do? 112 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 1: Because he's got big bounce day plans and of course 113 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,040 Speaker 1: Valentine's Day is coming up. 114 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 2: Hey Jesselyn, Hi, good morning. What do you think Bailey 115 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 2: should do? 116 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 4: Honestly? 117 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,719 Speaker 5: I think they should come together as adults and you know, 118 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 5: have a discussion her tell him, you know that she 119 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:20,160 Speaker 5: found out that something may have happened, have a discussion 120 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,919 Speaker 5: as to why they were both unfaithful in the first place. 121 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 5: I mean kind of at a point in our lives 122 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 5: where we need to make some you know, big kid 123 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 5: decisions and we don't want to base a relationship off of, 124 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 5: you know, unfaithfulness and you know, not being true to 125 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:36,800 Speaker 5: each other. 126 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 2: Totally. 127 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,599 Speaker 3: That's great advice, tessela In. Actually, Bailey, can I ask 128 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:41,320 Speaker 3: you one question? 129 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,119 Speaker 2: How do you feel? Though? 130 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,839 Speaker 3: Like, how do you like? What's your gut telling you? 131 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,839 Speaker 3: Are you sad? Are you mad? Do you feel like 132 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 3: you guys are even like, how do you feel? Do 133 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 3: you feel betrayed? 134 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:57,039 Speaker 4: I'm absolutely crushed. Yeah, heartbroken. You know, I thought that 135 00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:03,919 Speaker 4: we had moved past this, and I didn't. I didn't 136 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 4: expect him to do something like this and never tell me, 137 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 4: especially after how hard I worked to earn his trust back. 138 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: Sure, yeah, because did you tell him when you cheeted 139 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 1: on him? Or did he just find out? 140 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 4: He found out, but he found out right after it happened, 141 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:20,600 Speaker 4: and honestly I would have told him. 142 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,920 Speaker 1: Okay, somebody texted in at four one o six one 143 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 1: and said, go your separate ways. 144 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 6: I think what's crazy about this too, is that he 145 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 6: made you feel like crap for months, but she in 146 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 6: cheater jail, you know, because you know someone is unfaithful 147 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 6: in a relationship and then the other. 148 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:37,159 Speaker 2: Person rides the high road for four months. 149 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's also not cool if you're gonna choose to 150 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 1: trust them to take somebody back after they cheated, and 151 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 1: you also have to choose to trust them right and 152 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,120 Speaker 1: not like use it against them as he did he 153 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 1: use it against you. 154 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:51,040 Speaker 4: Oh, absolutely, every chance he got it came up. 155 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,919 Speaker 3: I wonder if it was his way of trying to 156 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,920 Speaker 3: get past it because even though like they stayed together 157 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 3: and obviously he was making you feel bad about it, 158 00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 3: hoping that would make him feel better about the fact 159 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 3: that he's stayed. Maybe this was like that last chance 160 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,280 Speaker 3: for him to try to digest what had happened. I'm 161 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:08,640 Speaker 3: not saying it's okay just but psychologically I could see 162 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 3: him trying to find comfort in doing that, saying now 163 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 3: that it's even I can look at you straight in 164 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 3: the face and not feel as betrayed as I do. 165 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 2: Well, you also say you're good. Y'all are good now, 166 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:18,400 Speaker 2: like y'all are on good terms. 167 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 4: Now, did that only happen about six months ago, like 168 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:25,880 Speaker 4: after he cheated? You know, I feel like it was 169 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 4: a very gradual thing that happened, as I you know, 170 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 4: did gain his trust back, and we've just continuously gotten 171 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:35,800 Speaker 4: better and better in our relationship. 172 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 3: Well, then at this point, it is, like Jesslin said, 173 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 3: really worth having that to have that conversation, And maybe 174 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 3: you have that conversation on Valentine's Day? I mean, why not? 175 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 3: Because it is about love and finding a way to 176 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 3: be together and love each other. I mean, maybe that 177 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:49,360 Speaker 3: is a good time to do it. 178 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 2: It's not running Valentine's Day. Who cares? 179 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 3: It's already got the stress on both sides. 180 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 1: Somebody texted in at four one of six one and said, 181 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,120 Speaker 1: I was in the same situation and we worked through it. 182 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 2: Oh, Papa, is really possible? How yeah? 183 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:07,400 Speaker 6: Is this someone you could see yourself deathbed holding their hand? 184 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 4: I thought so till I found this out, and now 185 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 4: I'm just so on the fence. 186 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 1: Somebody tell else texted in a four one o six 187 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 1: one Bailey and said, you guys should have an open relationship. 188 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 1: That's a good Valentine's date. I was thinking we could 189 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: just both see other people we like together. 190 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 2: You see a couple over there? 191 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 1: Was that an option, Bailey? 192 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 4: I don't think that that would work well for us. 193 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 4: More power to the people that it works for, but 194 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 4: I don't think that best in our future. 195 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 196 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:40,959 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people on the text my 197 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 1: support are saying that you should at least confront him 198 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:43,720 Speaker 1: and let him know that you know. 199 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you should do this, Bailey. I think 200 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 2: you should. 201 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 1: Confront him right and give him the opportunity to be 202 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:53,559 Speaker 1: honest with you. And I think if he lies to you, 203 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,959 Speaker 1: then be out right. You were honest with him when 204 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:00,920 Speaker 1: you got caught he cheated. He hasn't told you either way. Honestly, 205 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: I think your relationship should be done no matter what, 206 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: because I think trust has been so trampled on at 207 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,520 Speaker 1: this point. But whatever, if you want to stick with it, 208 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,960 Speaker 1: then I think you should confront him about it, but 209 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: give him the opportunity to lie, because if he lies 210 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 1: about it, then you know you can't trust him at all. 211 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 1: And you should definitely do it on Valentine's Day over dinner. 212 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: Wait till he gives you the gifts, though. Get the 213 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 1: gifts first. 214 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 3: You get all the guilt gifts. Now, those are always 215 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 3: the best gifts. That's why I got all my gifts from. 216 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,680 Speaker 6: Then stay with them a little bit, give me the lie, 217 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 6: get the guilt gifts, then dip on Saturday or Sunday. 218 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,080 Speaker 2: What do you think you're gonna do, Bailey. 219 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,199 Speaker 4: I think I'm going to confront him, but I think 220 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,640 Speaker 4: I'm going to wait till after Valentine's Day. 221 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, just drag Valentine's exactly. 222 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,439 Speaker 4: Okay, so much effort into the day, and I really 223 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 4: just don't want to ruin that. Even if the relationship ends, 224 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,280 Speaker 4: I don't want to ruin all the gifts,