Speaker 1: I Suck At Dating with Dengler and Jared Haven and
Speaker 1: I heard radio podcast. Hey, welcome to an all new
Speaker 1: episode of Help I Suck At Dating. Jared Haven here,
Speaker 1: obviously joined by Dean Angler. We have a very special
Speaker 1: guest co host this week. You know her from Bachelor
Speaker 1: in Paradise where she's with the one and only grocery
Speaker 1: store Joe. In fact, her zoom is called the Grocer.
Speaker 1: It is Serena Pitt Serena. How the hell are you?
Speaker 1: I'm good, Jared, how's it going. I'm on Joe's like
Speaker 1: computer with all his podcasting set up, and yeah, he
Speaker 1: named his account to grocer. You just gotta lean into it.
Speaker 1: I wish Dean's was Deanie Babies just lean right into it,
Speaker 1: and might would be Mr Ashley. I. I love how
Speaker 1: our guest co host this week has a far superior
Speaker 1: podcasting set up to probably both of us. I know
Speaker 1: what's going on. We got chords on your headphones, Jared, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what a loser? All right, this is not about my
Speaker 1: podcast equipment from two thousand and nine. All right, listen,
Speaker 1: I just opened up a business. I'm trying to sell bagels.
Speaker 1: I'm saving money here. Uh, Serena. It's a little awkward
Speaker 1: because we're a dating podcast and you're sitting right next
Speaker 1: to your significant other, but we're going to talk about
Speaker 1: them a little bit. We're gonna talk about your relationship
Speaker 1: a little bit, because you know, this is what we
Speaker 1: do on a dating podcast. So first of all, how
Speaker 1: are you? How is Chicago? Uh? And uh, how's your
Speaker 1: mental state? I'm good, I'm good. Life's pretty crazy right now. Um,
Speaker 1: Chicago is good. We're actually not there anymore. Um, we
Speaker 1: just kind of sort of Joe moved to New York
Speaker 1: is kind of the narrative right now, because I'm still
Speaker 1: waiting on a visa, so I'm here right now, but
Speaker 1: like technically don't live here officially, but hopefully when that
Speaker 1: comes through this week is the plan, then all ship
Speaker 1: all my stuff out and like officially move here. But yeah,
Speaker 1: we're in Chelsea, New York. The place is a disaster
Speaker 1: right now, other than this like one corner that I'm
Speaker 1: filming in just because moving is stressful, but it's been good.
Speaker 1: My mental state's good. Joe and I are excited kinda
Speaker 1: to take the next step. Wait, Chelsea, New York, that's
Speaker 1: a pretty good area, right that's kind of that's like
Speaker 1: Hutson Yards sort of right. Yeah, so we didn't really um, like,
Speaker 1: we originally were looking at Williamsburg in Brooklyn just because
Speaker 1: we really love that area. And then we did do
Speaker 1: a day looking at Upper West and one of the
Speaker 1: apartments we saw was in Chelsea, which is actually where
Speaker 1: our realtor lives, who's like a friend of ours. UM,
Speaker 1: And we just loved the area. I mean, there's just
Speaker 1: so many really good restaurants. Were like right below Hudson Yards,
Speaker 1: like West Chelsea, it's like two blocks up is like
Speaker 1: the big mall with the vessel and all that, um,
Speaker 1: and then it's like a ten minute walk down to
Speaker 1: the meatpacking district. So it's a really good spot. We
Speaker 1: like it. What made you guys choose New York Neutral territory? Yeah,
Speaker 1: neutral territory. Um, Like, I love Toronto, all my friends
Speaker 1: and family are there. Staying with him for Chicago, so
Speaker 1: we did do the backend for and then it just
Speaker 1: became a lot like traveling back and forth, Like even
Speaker 1: if we definitely talked about getting a place in each city,
Speaker 1: but even doing that and then flying back constantly just
Speaker 1: it became super draining. UM and Yeah, He's always wanted
Speaker 1: to live in New York. He like loves New York.
Speaker 1: He's a big city dude, so this is like his
Speaker 1: dream come true, which I think is probably like news
Speaker 1: to a lot of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm very confused.
Speaker 1: I granted, all right, listen, I've had a kid, started business, boat,
Speaker 1: a house, like a lot going on, so I've been
Speaker 1: keeping up. So you guys moved to New York and
Speaker 1: Joel it was like, oh yeah, oh yeah, Joe is
Speaker 1: like the biggest New York fan. Like I probably had
Speaker 1: a harder time leaving Toronto than he did, not that
Speaker 1: he didn't have. He's like a Chicago boy right like
Speaker 1: through and through. His family's out there, all of that
Speaker 1: good stuff. But yeah, he loves New York. He knee
Speaker 1: like hustle, bustle energy. He's a big city guy. He
Speaker 1: wants to try like every restaurant on every block here.
Speaker 1: He's lived in Chicago his whole life, so like he's
Speaker 1: turning thirty six next week and he's like, I've been
Speaker 1: here for my whole life. He was like so ready
Speaker 1: for a change, Like he was sad to leave his
Speaker 1: family and friends, but like so excited for the move
Speaker 1: and so excited to live in New York. Whereas obviously
Speaker 1: I'm really excited. Like a big portion of that is, yes,
Speaker 1: I love New York and like I see our future
Speaker 1: being good here and I'm really excited to move in
Speaker 1: with him. But like, leaving Toronto was definitely like a challenge,
Speaker 1: but I'm really happy that we did it. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people were like, why are
Speaker 1: you leaving Chicago? Like we did not see this coming.
Speaker 1: I think people probably think that like I pulled him
Speaker 1: out of Chicago. No, I feel like New York is
Speaker 1: a good compromise, and I obviously guys discussed it quite
Speaker 1: a bit and like, who am I to say that?
Speaker 1: But I feel like you guys found the right place
Speaker 1: because it's, uh, it's close enough to both Chicago and Toronto, right,
Speaker 1: and it's like a new place, but it's like New
Speaker 1: York is like I feel like, in my opinion too,
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to live in l a New York
Speaker 1: and like London at some point in my life, right
Speaker 1: just to like see if you like it, just do
Speaker 1: it for a year. That way you can look back
Speaker 1: and be like, yeah, we lived in this place for
Speaker 1: however long, it was a great experience whatever it is. Um,
Speaker 1: So I'm super happy for you guys. It sounds like
Speaker 1: you obviously are doing great. You said his birthday is
Speaker 1: coming up next week. What what do you have plan
Speaker 1: for him? Yes, his birthday is on Tuesday. Um. I
Speaker 1: just told him last night that I got uspressos at
Speaker 1: don Angie's a yet. Um. And then I ordered him
Speaker 1: like a really beautiful coffee machine from DeLonge and it
Speaker 1: got here before I did, but I ordered it specifically
Speaker 1: off Amazon so that it wouldn't come in any branded
Speaker 1: box thing. Well, little did I know, it like still
Speaker 1: comes from the same warehouse. And he's like, did you
Speaker 1: get me a coffee machine for my birthday? Because one
Speaker 1: just showed up at our apartment. So and then yeah,
Speaker 1: my parents come in the next day for a few days.
Speaker 1: So it's been busy. Nice thirty six man, that's he's
Speaker 1: getting up there. Yeah, don't tell him that. Well, I
Speaker 1: think you would probably gonna get there one day, alright. Well,
Speaker 1: I I only asked because I'm turning thirty one on Sunday.
Speaker 1: This is the following Sunday, So Joe and I are
Speaker 1: both aries babies. There you go, I wish Caylin had
Speaker 1: got me like a fancy coffee maker. I don't know
Speaker 1: what she's going to do for me yet. But do
Speaker 1: you find it difficult to shop for him? Because Caylin
Speaker 1: always says that I'm the hardest person to shop for.
Speaker 1: He's impossible to shop for so hard. I mean he
Speaker 1: literally got the coffee machine and was like, this is
Speaker 1: way better than your Christmas gift. Like you're improving, so
Speaker 1: good job your Christmas gift. I got him a bunch
Speaker 1: of stuff. No, Christmas was good too, but like this
Speaker 1: is definitely a better gift. But I got him like
Speaker 1: a there a gun, which she's addicted to. And then
Speaker 1: like pillow slides. I think on him like a Kashmir scarf.
Speaker 1: He is so bougie, like he just loves like high end,
Speaker 1: expensive bougie guest out of my wheelhouse. Oh he is
Speaker 1: a boogie but one hundred percent through and throw so
Speaker 1: like and that's not me, so like shopping for that
Speaker 1: stuff is like so in in my comfort zone. And
Speaker 1: then he's picky, Like he's really picky. He's worse than me,
Speaker 1: like you would think that. I feel like the sterrative
Speaker 1: is the girl in the relationship. I'm like, so much
Speaker 1: easier shop for I feel like than him. M yeah,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say it sounds like your flip flop
Speaker 1: of Kaitlin and I because she's very picky and very
Speaker 1: I wouldn't call Kaylin bougie, but she's like likes the
Speaker 1: high end stuff, you know, and I could care less
Speaker 1: about all that kind of stuff. So it's basically I
Speaker 1: just foregone buying her clothing and jewelry because every I mean,
Speaker 1: she would appreciate it, sure, but I don't think that
Speaker 1: she would ever really wear anything. Like I got her
Speaker 1: rent and stimpy shirt and she's worn it like maybe once,
Speaker 1: maybe twice, I guess, and I just lives in the
Speaker 1: bottom of the closet. I'm like, I spent twenty five
Speaker 1: dollars on this thing, You're not gonna wear it? Come on, Um,
Speaker 1: that's funny that you guys is the the episode because I
Speaker 1: would have guessed the otherwise. I find that I'm Ashley
Speaker 1: tells me I'm the easiest person to shop for, and
Speaker 1: I couldn't agree more. She got me a Superman and
Speaker 1: Batman post or for Christmas, and I was losing my mother.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, anything to do with Boston Sports Brady or
Speaker 1: like Superman. I'm in You're set well. Joe posted a
Speaker 1: photo a few weeks ago. I think it was a
Speaker 1: Jack Nicholson photo of him like smoking a cigarette or something,
Speaker 1: and he called me and was like, Okay, so I
Speaker 1: want you to get this for me, but not for
Speaker 1: my birthday because all like it won't be a surprise,
Speaker 1: So like, just remember and then for Christmas get it
Speaker 1: for me so that I'll have forgotten that I told
Speaker 1: you to t Is that his Twitter profile picture. Probably
Speaker 1: every time I see this picture of Jack Nicholson, I'm like,
Speaker 1: who is this. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right. Joe,
Speaker 1: Like every time I see I'm like, who is this?
Speaker 1: Who do I follow? Tell him that because I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're my fiance and I see your teeths pop up
Speaker 1: and I don't even know who they are, but here. Okay.
Speaker 1: So here's my issue with gifts, uh, And this is
Speaker 1: why Kylen absolutely hates getting me gifts is because um,
Speaker 1: we have already so much stuff, and Kylin especially receives
Speaker 1: a lot of like gifting from brands. I'm sure certain
Speaker 1: that you do too, and so our house is just
Speaker 1: always cluttered with like boxes, empty boxes and like crap
Speaker 1: that we don't really use very much, but it's nice
Speaker 1: to have. And so I always tell her, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't want anything, because, ay, we already have weight,
Speaker 1: Like we have a hundred thirty percent capacity of stuff
Speaker 1: in our house right now. Um, and be like, if
Speaker 1: I really wanted it that bad, I would just go
Speaker 1: out on my own and buy it for myself. And
Speaker 1: so like, there's nothing you could get me that I
Speaker 1: don't already have that I actually want, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. So she she hates it because she never
Speaker 1: knows what to get me. And so what we've resorted
Speaker 1: to doing, or what we're like in the process of
Speaker 1: resorting to doing now, is instead of getting like a
Speaker 1: object for that person, well, like like you're doing like
Speaker 1: take them to dinner or go on a trip somewhere
Speaker 1: or like you know, like those types of things that
Speaker 1: you don't necessarily collect. But it's more like an experience,
Speaker 1: I guess. And that's kind of the train that we've
Speaker 1: been on lately, solely because of the insane amount of
Speaker 1: clutter in our house and we just can't put anything
Speaker 1: else anywhere else, you know, And I'm sure in New York,
Speaker 1: Like you guys probably have a smaller apartment too, so
Speaker 1: it's going to be very clutter there as well, I
Speaker 1: would imagine. Well, my birthday was in October, and yeah,
Speaker 1: I was getting it was like right when Paradise pended,
Speaker 1: so like I was getting so many things in the
Speaker 1: mail and which is great, but like then it's like
Speaker 1: I don't want to add on top of that, I'm
Speaker 1: already trying to organize what I have. So I literally
Speaker 1: told all my family because they were like, we want
Speaker 1: to get you something, and I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: need things, like just get me like playing gift cards
Speaker 1: like air Canada United. Just get me like a gift
Speaker 1: an airline because I was traveling back and forth so
Speaker 1: much to Chicago. Still, I was like, this is something
Speaker 1: that I will use and it's not going to take
Speaker 1: up any space. Yeah, that's a good idea of the
Speaker 1: gift cards for the airlines. That's nice. And then I
Speaker 1: always say, like I don't know, I hate I hate
Speaker 1: the concept of giving gifts. I want like I would
Speaker 1: rather received gifts on like a random day in a
Speaker 1: random month for no reason at all than to like
Speaker 1: receive a gift on Christmas or birthday or Easter or
Speaker 1: something like that, you know what I mean, like an
Speaker 1: awkward interaction. I find giving on like specific holidays is
Speaker 1: a very uncomfortable interact for both parties because you're opening
Speaker 1: it being like, hopefully I don't have to pretend that
Speaker 1: I like this, and they're giving it to being like
Speaker 1: hopefully they like this I've had. And also it's like
Speaker 1: we'll fall on fights with cousins about gifts because like
Speaker 1: I'll get them something and they're like, why did you
Speaker 1: get me something? I didn't get you anything for Christmas?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I don't need anything. I wanted to
Speaker 1: give you something, and they're like, well, I feel like
Speaker 1: it told right now, and I'm like, we'll just take
Speaker 1: the damn gift, and like I don't want the gift.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I bought it, I'm not gonna return it.
Speaker 1: Just take the gift. You don't have to get me anything.
Speaker 1: They're like, well, now I'm gonna get you something next
Speaker 1: week and I'm like, well, I'm not going to accept
Speaker 1: it if you get me something in return, because I
Speaker 1: already gifted you something you didn't think of me in
Speaker 1: the first place, which is totally fine. You don't have to,
Speaker 1: but just take the gift. And then it turns into
Speaker 1: like a fistfight. Dared, take a breath, man, take it
Speaker 1: just like one quick breath. Um. No, you're absolutely right,
Speaker 1: You're absolutely right. And then it's like if you guys
Speaker 1: are exchanging gifts, one gift might be worth like twenty
Speaker 1: bucks and the other one'd be worth like a hunter bucks,
Speaker 1: and then the one that the gift is upset. You
Speaker 1: know what the worst type of person is is the
Speaker 1: person who you are part of a secret santo with
Speaker 1: and it says, don't spend more than and it's the
Speaker 1: person that spends like seventy bucks on a gift and
Speaker 1: you're like, just get the hell out of here, nobody
Speaker 1: wants your gift anymore. No, No, I hate that too,
Speaker 1: serring it besides the birthday and besides the move, what
Speaker 1: else is going on in your guys life? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like the move has been so
Speaker 1: all consuming because we literally came to New York like
Speaker 1: last month, picked the place, like Joe signed it, and
Speaker 1: like moved in two weeks later. So like it has
Speaker 1: been so consuming of like packing, like I was just
Speaker 1: in l A, which like was terrible timing because I
Speaker 1: had already committed to an event out there, so like
Speaker 1: he had to basically move in here alone. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, now life is just going to be us
Speaker 1: exploring and a city, and like he's got the podcast
Speaker 1: and the sauce brand. I'm doing influencer stuff, So don't
Speaker 1: you have a podcast as well? No, so I filled
Speaker 1: in Tasha left um Happy Hour, and then I filled
Speaker 1: in her spot for Clayton season on Bachelor Happy Hour,
Speaker 1: and then Michelle just jumped on Um, who was like
Speaker 1: it was always the plan of like I leave after
Speaker 1: Clayton season and she's now the new like full time
Speaker 1: host with Becca Nice. Well they're missing out because I mean,
Speaker 1: come on, they got the great host right here. I
Speaker 1: know with the podcast I've ready to Go, which already
Speaker 1: is superior to Dean and mind podcast equipment. I have
Speaker 1: a question. It's like a two part question. One what
Speaker 1: happens if your visa doesn't come back? So so that's
Speaker 1: kind of why we've been like sketchy. I mean, obviously
Speaker 1: I'm disclosing all this on the podcast, but like I
Speaker 1: haven't been posting about it on social media just because
Speaker 1: I feel like I can't give like a holistic explanation
Speaker 1: of like all the scenarios that could go down until
Speaker 1: I have it, but hypothetically of next week it comes through.
Speaker 1: So story I applied. I paid like an expedited fee
Speaker 1: to have it in fifteen days. So I've been working
Speaker 1: on this since November. It's like a crazy like lawn
Speaker 1: process of labor time job. So you apply fifth. I
Speaker 1: knew I was going to get it here within fifteen
Speaker 1: days because I paid like an expedited fee, and they
Speaker 1: came back and had like requested more evidence. So they
Speaker 1: basically said, like, hey, we received your application, like what
Speaker 1: you have looks good, but we need X y Z
Speaker 1: to be submitted to like I don't know, just for
Speaker 1: like a bigger picture of like what I'm going to
Speaker 1: be contributing to the economy in the US. So that
Speaker 1: took an extra like five days and me putting together documents,
Speaker 1: sending it off, and now we've reset. So I hear
Speaker 1: by next Wednesday and if they come back and say
Speaker 1: like sorry, like decline you can't be here, um, then
Speaker 1: we'll reassess. But I mean he signed the lease here,
Speaker 1: so like we're in this place for a year. I
Speaker 1: just can then only be in the States for six
Speaker 1: months out of the year, so we'll have to go
Speaker 1: back to doing back and forth. And I still also
Speaker 1: can't work here, so like any appearances or opportunities like that,
Speaker 1: like I'm doing for no money, and any like influencer
Speaker 1: campaigns that have to be shot in Canada, I've got
Speaker 1: I've got a question. I'm sure you guys have talked
Speaker 1: about this too. So you guys, for the for the uninformed,
Speaker 1: you guys got engaged on the last season of bachelorom Paradise. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you're engaged to get married, why don't you just
Speaker 1: like do the paperwork part of the marriage and then
Speaker 1: just like you know, piggyback onto his citizenship and then
Speaker 1: like do whatever you want to do later on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: why expedite the visa when you can just expedite the marriage. Honestly,
Speaker 1: we did think about it, like it was an option
Speaker 1: on the table of like let's just maybe just go
Speaker 1: to the court and we'll just get married. But I
Speaker 1: was already so deep into the visa process at this point,
Speaker 1: I'm like, let's just ride this out. I would personally
Speaker 1: much rather like not just like get married under the
Speaker 1: table for a visa. I mean, I think my parents
Speaker 1: had a difficult enough time with me getting married to
Speaker 1: a stranger on television. Um, for me to then take
Speaker 1: away the opportunity of like sharing me getting married with
Speaker 1: my family and friends would kind of be a bummer. Um,
Speaker 1: So like we're really fingers crossed. They variable with applying
Speaker 1: for visas, like I'm applying for an O one, which
Speaker 1: is an entertainer's visa, And they could come back and
Speaker 1: say like, yep, like you've been given the visa for
Speaker 1: the three year period, which is the maximum time you
Speaker 1: can receive it for, which in that case is great
Speaker 1: because we're gonna get married in that three years, no problem.
Speaker 1: And then I'll just apply for my green card and
Speaker 1: switch that over. But they could also come back and
Speaker 1: be like, Okay, so you've been approved for one month.
Speaker 1: So like there's just so many variables on the table
Speaker 1: right now. Um, but yeah, we'll find out next week
Speaker 1: and then if it's not the three year, we'll just
Speaker 1: reassess and adjust. I mean, there's not much else to do,
Speaker 1: I guess, and then maybe get married sooner than we expected.
Speaker 1: That's that's so crappy that that even has to be
Speaker 1: a thing. But I guess you probably. Okay, so let's
Speaker 1: let's go back to that when you were on the
Speaker 1: Bachelor and you were on Matt's season of The Bachelor, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: and you were living on you were living in Toronto
Speaker 1: when you were cast for that show. Yeah, so you
Speaker 1: already kind of knew that in the best case scenario,
Speaker 1: you'd have to be only with all this anyways. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I think going on the Bachelor like is
Speaker 1: one thing because like I mean I didn't really like
Speaker 1: picture myself like, oh, like, yeah, I'm gonna be married
Speaker 1: to an American. But then definitely, like as I got
Speaker 1: further into the season and developed feelings for him, I
Speaker 1: was like independently like okay, Like I wouldn't have gone
Speaker 1: on the show to date an American if I wasn't
Speaker 1: willing to make a move for someone I loved. Like,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I remember thinking like, if I end up
Speaker 1: with this guy, like we have to figure ou where
Speaker 1: we're gonna live and if that's not Toronto or if
Speaker 1: it is Toronto, Like either way, there's like a viewsa
Speaker 1: involved for someone. So when you get out of nowhere,
Speaker 1: right right, you kind of have like a boss moment
Speaker 1: too with Bachelor, right you you like worked out near
Speaker 1: the end and you're like, I'm at it here right, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I did some of them home after hometowns. Okay, gotcha,
Speaker 1: got you? I was. I just didn't want to misremember
Speaker 1: that yet. You had a moment where you were like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not into this, and that was
Speaker 1: That's awesome. I feel like to go that long and
Speaker 1: then like be like I'm not feeling this. It's it
Speaker 1: doesn't happen often enough, and so when it does. I
Speaker 1: think she takes some pride in that thank you, thank you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, like I it was a hard moment, so
Speaker 1: like I like I definitely had like friends and family
Speaker 1: being like we're proud of you. I think I feel
Speaker 1: like I was like so deep in it to be
Speaker 1: like okay, but like it also sucked, like it was
Speaker 1: a breakup, like I hurt someone in the process, but
Speaker 1: I mean it all clearly worked out the way I
Speaker 1: was supposed to. Like he's so happy with Rachel, like
Speaker 1: I'm with Joe, so like it always the right decision.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's definitely hard, I think on the show
Speaker 1: for people to feel like they have the freedom to
Speaker 1: make their own decisions like about their fate. Like, I
Speaker 1: feel like it's so consuming that once you get in it,
Speaker 1: you kind of feel like you're like on this ride
Speaker 1: that you can't get off of until someone gives you
Speaker 1: permission to get off of it. So like I just
Speaker 1: remember being like, I don't have to be here if
Speaker 1: I don't want to be here, Like I don't have
Speaker 1: to fall in love with this person if I'm not
Speaker 1: falling in love with this person. Power Born in Canada,
Speaker 1: engaged in Mexico, and married in the United States. What
Speaker 1: a story. Yeah, we've done it all at all. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a good way of looking at it. True, you're
Speaker 1: really covering all your bases there. Yeah. I guess we'll
Speaker 1: have to go get married in Europe or something just
Speaker 1: to round that out. No, you have to get married
Speaker 1: in the States and then live in Europe for at
Speaker 1: least a year. Uh. My second question was because Chicago
Speaker 1: is so ingrained in Joe or do you ever think
Speaker 1: that He's like, do you guys see yourself in New
Speaker 1: York for a long time or do you think that
Speaker 1: like you're ultimately going to end back in Chicago or
Speaker 1: possibly someplace else. I mean, this is definitely like a
Speaker 1: trial year just because neither of us have lived in
Speaker 1: New York. I think the tone is if we love
Speaker 1: it here, this could be like definitely a long term
Speaker 1: location for us. Um. We definitely didn't move here with
Speaker 1: any sort of like agreement of like we are going
Speaker 1: to live here, but like we're settling back down in
Speaker 1: Chicago or like we are settling back down in Toronto. Um.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think this year is going to definitely
Speaker 1: determine a lot because obviously when you have kids involved
Speaker 1: and stuff like being close to family, there is a
Speaker 1: benefit to that. As someone going through right now, it
Speaker 1: is a huge benefit. Obviously do what you guys want,
Speaker 1: but like it's a game changer. Oh yeah, a hundred percent,
Speaker 1: Like being down the street and being able to like
Speaker 1: like Joe has a lot of friends that have young
Speaker 1: kids and like I see how they basically are just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I dropped my child off like at my parents for
Speaker 1: the day and like go do what I needs. Like,
Speaker 1: if we were to raise kids in New York where
Speaker 1: we don't have family, like, we would definitely have to
Speaker 1: know we have a really strong support system here. Um,
Speaker 1: and like I love Toronto, I would raise kids in
Speaker 1: Toronto in a heartbeat. I just think the challenge is
Speaker 1: like his businesses in Chicago and like in reality, like
Speaker 1: there's more business opportunity in the States for me as
Speaker 1: well than there would be in Toronto at this time
Speaker 1: in our lives. Who know, So you guys have had
Speaker 1: the conversations about kids there? Oh yeah, I said on
Speaker 1: our or state like if you don't want kids, like,
Speaker 1: let's just call it now, Like it's like a deal
Speaker 1: record for me for sure, gotcha? And so how many
Speaker 1: kids do you want? Two? Okay, it's a good number.
Speaker 1: And Joe's okay with that. Joe said, too, is his
Speaker 1: like hard number? Yeah? I feel like, yeah, I think
Speaker 1: he'll be a good dad too. He like he has
Speaker 1: a lot of friends with the young kids, but I
Speaker 1: feel like he hasn't had like a ton of experience
Speaker 1: like with kids, But he'll be a good dad. Jared,
Speaker 1: what were you like around kids love before you had children? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just because my cousins who were like my brothers
Speaker 1: and sisters have had kids. And then also I used
Speaker 1: to volunteer at a children's hospital for about eight years,
Speaker 1: so I dealt with a lot of babies up till
Speaker 1: about eight years old, so I've had a lot of experiences.
Speaker 1: But you guys were talking about like having one or
Speaker 1: two kids because Ashes dead set on having another one. Okay,
Speaker 1: which listen, of course, I want my son to have
Speaker 1: a sibling. I want to, you know, have a brother
Speaker 1: or sister. Having said that, the idea of literally doing
Speaker 1: exactly what we've done for the past year and just
Speaker 1: doing it all over again, especially for Ash, I mean
Speaker 1: with another case, that's what I mean. I don't think
Speaker 1: she realizes that. Like when you know, if everything knock
Speaker 1: on wood, everything goes well, and Dawson is a year
Speaker 1: year and a half, when she gets pregnant again, it's like, damn, yeah,
Speaker 1: but what do you think would be better? Do you
Speaker 1: think could be better to like have a bit of
Speaker 1: a gap between him, or do you think it'd be
Speaker 1: better to have him both like in the same phase
Speaker 1: of life at the same time. That way, you're just
Speaker 1: fully focused on that, you know, I have no idea.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's so hard because this is our first kid,
Speaker 1: so I don't really know what the future has in store.
Speaker 1: Because I've heard so many people, so many people give
Speaker 1: you different advice. They're like, oh, the first six months
Speaker 1: is the hardest, and then other people will be like no,
Speaker 1: when he starts, you know, crawling and walking, it becomes
Speaker 1: much harder because then you can't just like PLoP him
Speaker 1: in bed and he'll be fine. So I've heard it
Speaker 1: all over the place, So it's just gonna be kind
Speaker 1: of a trial by error and see, like what happens,
Speaker 1: how we how it goes with Dawson. Do you have
Speaker 1: a little boy? Yeah, so we have a little boys
Speaker 1: named Dawson. He's ten weeks. He's gonna be ten weeks
Speaker 1: on Monday. He's awesome. Like everybody who scares you about parenthood,
Speaker 1: they shouldn't. I mean, listen, it is stressful. I can
Speaker 1: like even Ashley and I it adds tension to the relationship.
Speaker 1: To just be completely frank, I mean it does. Oh
Speaker 1: I bet the lack of sleep like adds tension to anything.
Speaker 1: Lack of sleep and then you know, especially I think
Speaker 1: us starting a business has really heard us as well,
Speaker 1: because it just consumes a lot of my time. So
Speaker 1: I'm away from home a lot. So when I come home,
Speaker 1: she's like, Okay, here's the kid, and I'm like, all right,
Speaker 1: well I'm really tired, and she's like well, I've been
Speaker 1: with him all time, all day, and I'm really tired
Speaker 1: and so and then of course just like we miss
Speaker 1: each other, and then like last night we even have
Speaker 1: a conversation, and you know, I feel it's just tough because,
Speaker 1: especially with a kid, the romance is thrown out the
Speaker 1: window right now. There's no time for just ash and I.
Speaker 1: So she's like, I feel like we're just friends right now.
Speaker 1: We're not husband and wife. And it's like, no, of
Speaker 1: course we're husband wife, but it's just, you know, we're
Speaker 1: kind of like grinding through right now, getting done what
Speaker 1: we need to get done and focusing on Dawson and
Speaker 1: the business. And we're we just bought a house and
Speaker 1: we might have to buy another one. It's a long story.
Speaker 1: So um, you know, there's just like we don't go
Speaker 1: on dates anymore. There's no time. It's never just Ashley
Speaker 1: and I anymore. It's always Ashley, me and Dawson, which
Speaker 1: is wonderful in so many different aspects. But obviously when
Speaker 1: like we sit down in Dawson's in bed, it's like,
Speaker 1: all right, good night, good night, Like we don't even
Speaker 1: talk anybody. Do you guys ever have any like major
Speaker 1: disputes about parenting styles, not as of right now. Uh
Speaker 1: it it will be interesting. You know, obviously everybody has
Speaker 1: their own ways of doing things. Uh, not just with
Speaker 1: Ash and I, but grandparents, Uh, you know, siblings, aunts
Speaker 1: and uncles, so like everybody kind of you know, it's
Speaker 1: the first grandkids, so everybody's like kind of you know,
Speaker 1: very eager to be like, oh, what about this or
Speaker 1: what about that? But as of right now, no, Ash
Speaker 1: and I have been really on the same page about
Speaker 1: our parents' house. Did you guys tell anyone the name
Speaker 1: before the baby was born? Oh? Yeah, have you met?
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've met Ashley. I was being funny,
Speaker 1: but they live streamed on Amazon when we live stream,
Speaker 1: and to Ashley can't hold anything in so she was like,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty my cousin was like that. She she told
Speaker 1: like everyone the name, but like it is funny because
Speaker 1: I do, like I feel like people sometimes don't because
Speaker 1: then you get like all of the feedback from the family.
Speaker 1: Like everyone feels like they can have like an opinion,
Speaker 1: even if it's negative, because it's like, well, maybe they'll
Speaker 1: change it. Oh, I get so defensive. Now. I had
Speaker 1: somebody coming in to the coffee shop the other day
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, what's your son's name? And I
Speaker 1: go Dawson and they go oh, And I want to
Speaker 1: go do that mean? And she was like not in
Speaker 1: a negative way, but she didn't react overly excited. You
Speaker 1: want them to be like, oh my god, that's the
Speaker 1: cutest name ever and your baby is a sweet angel
Speaker 1: and that's the only appropriate reaction. Oh god, I'm not dad.
Speaker 1: Now you have an idea for a baby number two?
Speaker 1: His name? Uh no, because if it's a boy, I
Speaker 1: have no idea, and then if it's a girl, I
Speaker 1: have no idea. Ashley wanted arena girl. That makes sense.
Speaker 1: That's no idea for either my point arena like if
Speaker 1: like a stadium arena, and I was like, that is beautiful.
Speaker 1: I like Serena better though I like the s arena.
Speaker 1: It just makes me It's just like she's stadium. Yeah,
Speaker 1: She's like concerts has been such a you know, a
Speaker 1: huge part of my life. And I like, ash I'm
Speaker 1: spelling with an eye like a yeah, I can't do that.
Speaker 1: Instead of like a r irena, isn't that the IRENA's name?
Speaker 1: And me myself and I me myself and Irene. That
Speaker 1: was the name of the movie. I don't know, but Arena,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Hey, I'm not a fan of it,
Speaker 1: but I do appreciate the creativity, and I'll learn to
Speaker 1: love it. If she does decide to name them the
Speaker 1: first baby, you would always call it Arena for sure,
Speaker 1: just R, E and A. I don't like any of
Speaker 1: the above. Okay, so hard fast. Um, well, you guys,
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break. We went a little over
Speaker 1: on time there, so let's say a quick break and
Speaker 1: we'll come right back and get to some emails and
Speaker 1: some of our hot topics for the day. So stay tuned,
Speaker 1: all right, So we have two emails coming up. Well,
Speaker 1: we were going to do hot topics, but I think
Speaker 1: we had such a great time talking to each other,
Speaker 1: we're not gonna do hot topics today. Instead, we're gonna
Speaker 1: jump right into emails. Yeah, let's get to the juicy stuff,
Speaker 1: the good stuff, Dean, I'll read the first email. It's
Speaker 1: from Sienna. Great name. Uh, this is a question for everybody.
Speaker 1: When was the moment you knew you were in love?
Speaker 1: If you were a significant other, do you remember that
Speaker 1: specific moment when it happened. I want to ask you
Speaker 1: Serena first, because was Joe even on your radar in Paradise?
Speaker 1: I can't remember did you know who Joe was when
Speaker 1: you first met him down in Paradise? So I knew
Speaker 1: who he was. I watched back in season, and so
Speaker 1: I do remember the whole like grocery store Joe Twitter explosion, um,
Speaker 1: but like I didn't follow him on Instagram or anything.
Speaker 1: I didn't even really watch the season of Paradise. I
Speaker 1: think I watched like maybe two or three episodes, and
Speaker 1: then I was never on click Bait. It's like we
Speaker 1: never met or anything. Like I know a couple of
Speaker 1: the girls from my season to click Bait and they
Speaker 1: were like, oh, yeah, I'm microstotore Joe. Um. But I
Speaker 1: didn't know he was going to be there, Like I
Speaker 1: think everyone goes through like past cast members of like
Speaker 1: who might be there, and I think I asked one
Speaker 1: of the producers if he would be like one time,
Speaker 1: and obviously the answer is like, I don't know, you
Speaker 1: have to see, and then kind of like forgot about it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I remember walking down I was like, what
Speaker 1: the hell grocers are Joe's here? So rand him um,
Speaker 1: and then we just totally headed off, like right out
Speaker 1: of the gate obviously. UM, I'm trying to think of
Speaker 1: like when, because I remember when I told him I
Speaker 1: loved him, But I don't know if I remember the
Speaker 1: moment that I was like, I'm in love with this guy.
Speaker 1: Oh I do. I do remember, because I was like
Speaker 1: crying an interview. Um, it was the night this, So
Speaker 1: I don't think I knew I was in love with
Speaker 1: him at this point, but like looking back, I definitely
Speaker 1: was because I was like really emotional, beyond belief. But
Speaker 1: they had me do a chat with Wells and like
Speaker 1: I hadn't expressed my feelings for him at all, really, um,
Speaker 1: just because it's so not my comfort zone. And he
Speaker 1: was like, you have to tell him how you feel.
Speaker 1: And I was like sweating, like freaking out, like totally panicking.
Speaker 1: And then they took me into interview and they were
Speaker 1: obviously having me recap a lot of this stuff that
Speaker 1: was going on with his ex and like talking about that,
Speaker 1: which was hard, and I just remember like getting super
Speaker 1: emotional and literally talking to my producer. He was like,
Speaker 1: I'm very close with her, I'm very comfortable with her,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm freaking out, and I started crying.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm freaking out. I'm honestly having a
Speaker 1: total panic attack, Like I have never felt this way
Speaker 1: for anyone before, Like I don't know what to do,
Speaker 1: Like I'm in a super vulnerable position right now, where
Speaker 1: like there's a lot going on in his personal life
Speaker 1: on this beach, like I don't know what the to
Speaker 1: do um And she was like, oh my god, are
Speaker 1: you okay? I was like I'm not. I'm really not okay.
Speaker 1: And then that was the night that I decided to
Speaker 1: tell him that I was falling in love with him.
Speaker 1: But like looking back, like I'm pretty sure that I
Speaker 1: was already in love with him, but like I just
Speaker 1: wasn't ready to like jump that step, right, you like
Speaker 1: protected yourself with the verbit. Yeah, I was like, let's
Speaker 1: see if he's even gonna say it back first, and
Speaker 1: then like down the line. But like I'm glad I
Speaker 1: did that because I think when I said that I
Speaker 1: loved him, like I was so much more certain and
Speaker 1: it just like felt so much better than if I
Speaker 1: had like ten days and been like I love you,
Speaker 1: and then like I think I would have questioned if
Speaker 1: I actually meant it, Whereas like when I said it later,
Speaker 1: I was like I really know I feel this way
Speaker 1: and I mean it. So there wasn't like one defining
Speaker 1: moment where he like like cut his steak a certain
Speaker 1: way and you're like I love this guy. No, but
Speaker 1: I do remember after Fantasy Suites they had me like
Speaker 1: stand there and they had him walk down the beach
Speaker 1: like away before the whole final rose. And I remember
Speaker 1: as he was walking away, because I had me stand
Speaker 1: there for like about ten minutes, I had the like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, like I'm going to marry this guy,
Speaker 1: like this is my husband, Like this is it. I
Speaker 1: know it, like I know he's the one. Like I
Speaker 1: was just like wow, like I'm that was the like
Speaker 1: I can picture and remember that moment so clearly as
Speaker 1: like a holy like I just found my husband kind
Speaker 1: of thing. But the falling in love thing, I think
Speaker 1: was like gradual and over time and definitely like blurred
Speaker 1: with all within all the chaos that we were going through. Yeah,
Speaker 1: did you guys watch Paradise or have rewatched it all?
Speaker 1: Since we watched Paradise together. Um, I mean he lived it,
Speaker 1: but he obviously had to because he does one of
Speaker 1: the batchination pot it's like I need to really know
Speaker 1: what's going on, um, and like we wanted to watch it.
Speaker 1: There was definitely like for the most part moments, everything
Speaker 1: was pretty good to watch. I mean, there was some
Speaker 1: tough stuff, but we've rewatched the proposal, I think, like
Speaker 1: once or twice, just like a sentiment nice, that's cute. Jared,
Speaker 1: what about you? How did you know or when did
Speaker 1: you know that you? Uh, it took a lot longer
Speaker 1: for you than did first Sona obviously to uh know
Speaker 1: that you were in love with Ashley? I agree with
Speaker 1: By the way, uh I relate to Serena where it
Speaker 1: was like one big buller, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: My love for Ashley really blossomed over time, and it's
Speaker 1: hard to pinpoint like the moment where I was, you know,
Speaker 1: obviously I always go back to the charity event which
Speaker 1: happened after our first season in Paradise, were like I
Speaker 1: had a moment to myself thinking I'm an idiot, But
Speaker 1: like the real love that I have for my wife
Speaker 1: now really blossomed over time after learning more about her
Speaker 1: and our relationship and our connection and chemistry and who
Speaker 1: she is and what she represents and um, you know
Speaker 1: it really just you know, it was It's hard to
Speaker 1: like pinpoint a moment where I was like, this is
Speaker 1: this is when I know I'm in love with Ashley.
Speaker 1: But when I told her I was in love with her,
Speaker 1: it was that weekend when we went the stage coach.
Speaker 1: I know what a place of teller in the desert,
Speaker 1: but it just we were in bed together and we
Speaker 1: were talking and just felt like the right moment. So uh,
Speaker 1: but yeah, that's that's my story. Nice um and for me,
Speaker 1: thank you guys for asking. Uh. It took me a
Speaker 1: lot longer than Kalen too, I guess fall in love.
Speaker 1: I was way more guarded and I one of my
Speaker 1: biggest pet peeves I've learned in recent years is when
Speaker 1: people are in a relationship for a couple of days,
Speaker 1: certain you kind of alluded to this and they're just
Speaker 1: like they just started blurching blurning out I love you
Speaker 1: like they you don't mean it, you don't know what
Speaker 1: love is, and you're just telling this person you love them.
Speaker 1: It means nothing because you've known this person for four days, um,
Speaker 1: and you're saying without meaning it or like knowing how
Speaker 1: it feels. And so I like, I like made a
Speaker 1: point to like, wait as long as I possibly could
Speaker 1: just say it, to the point where like almost became
Speaker 1: a thorn in our side of our relationship because Calin
Speaker 1: has had said it quite a few times and I
Speaker 1: like refused to say it because I'm a coward. I
Speaker 1: guess you could say that. But there was one trip
Speaker 1: that I went on specifically. It's it's funny because the
Speaker 1: moment that I knew that I was in love with her,
Speaker 1: she wasn't even there for it. So I went on
Speaker 1: an expedition essentially um with a bunch of friends and
Speaker 1: we were like way up in the mountains. It was
Speaker 1: like six days long, uh, and there's like no cell
Speaker 1: phone service. And I noticed that every night when I
Speaker 1: was going to sleep, before I would go to sleep,
Speaker 1: I would like scroll through my photo album of photos
Speaker 1: of Kalin uh, and then it like put me It
Speaker 1: gave me comfort and like put me at ease and stuff.
Speaker 1: And so then I came back from that trip and
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I'm in love with this girl.
Speaker 1: So it wasn't even like a moment where she did anything.
Speaker 1: It was just like a realization I guess that I
Speaker 1: had to come to eventually, that's a great story, that's
Speaker 1: a great moment, and I agree I would. I think
Speaker 1: your way of doing a Dean with so much better.
Speaker 1: You read of the way and know before you say
Speaker 1: it rather than just blurt it out, because I'm sure
Speaker 1: you guys can relate as well. You've had friends that
Speaker 1: have told each other that they love like You've had
Speaker 1: a friend tell someone else that they love them and
Speaker 1: you're like, I don't think you're in love with them.
Speaker 1: I think you're just saying this to say it. And
Speaker 1: I've even said I mean, we've all seen it in
Speaker 1: Bachelor to where people say these things and you're like, you,
Speaker 1: I don't think you're really in love, but I guess
Speaker 1: we'll find out and then they break up and then hindsight,
Speaker 1: I've talked to so many people where they're like, I
Speaker 1: maybe I wasn't in love. Maybe maybe maybe it wasn't
Speaker 1: real love, So Dan, I think you're away from it. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well I've done that too with the Bachelor relationship, where
Speaker 1: I said that the L word way too soon and
Speaker 1: I definitely didn't feel it. I think I was just
Speaker 1: saying it because I thought it's what I was supposed
Speaker 1: to be saying and I was obviously way wrong. And
Speaker 1: also like it's it's cool to know, um where like
Speaker 1: I I really didn't want to fall in love and
Speaker 1: it still happened anyway, So like that's a cool feeling,
Speaker 1: you know, like this, despite my all my efforts to
Speaker 1: not let it happen, it still happened. It just makes
Speaker 1: it feel a little bit more comfortable, I guess for me.
Speaker 1: But everyone's got their own story. Like just because obviously
Speaker 1: we have ours, doesn't mean there's any right or wrong
Speaker 1: way to fall in love. I just think that sometimes
Speaker 1: people uh express their feelings before they've fully been able
Speaker 1: to like understand that, and that gets people in trouble sometimes.
Speaker 1: You know what's funny those my parents have like both
Speaker 1: sides to this coin because they met and basically spent
Speaker 1: like two weeks together right into the gate, like we're
Speaker 1: very into each other immediately, and after two weeks, my
Speaker 1: mom told my dad that she was in love with him,
Speaker 1: and my dad was basically like, you don't know what
Speaker 1: you're talking about, Like I've known you for two weeks,
Speaker 1: Like what are you talking about? Like how do you know?
Speaker 1: And she was just like I know, Like I just
Speaker 1: know that I'm in love with you, and he was
Speaker 1: just basically extremely skeptical, and she was like, you're an idiot.
Speaker 1: We're gonna end up together. And so like, I'm more
Speaker 1: like my dad in these situations on a present, but
Speaker 1: like I respect my mom because she's like, yeah, look,
Speaker 1: we've been together for twenty five years. Like, obviously I
Speaker 1: was right, Yeah, it's not a sound science. Well, after
Speaker 1: twenty five years, it's it's definitely funny to look back
Speaker 1: and be like, yeah, I knew that I was talking about.
Speaker 1: But how many of those, you know, end after three months?
Speaker 1: But exception, she's the exception. That's great. That's great. And
Speaker 1: your dad sounds like like a who as well. He
Speaker 1: sounds like my kind of guy. Um, all right, let's
Speaker 1: get to this last email from Emily. I'll read it
Speaker 1: this since Jared read the first one. Emily says, I
Speaker 1: just found out that my husband of five years, we've
Speaker 1: been together for nine had an affair with a woman
Speaker 1: for the past two years. I am so heartbroken, angry,
Speaker 1: and confused, but know that I love this man more
Speaker 1: than anything. I know. There are a lot of couples
Speaker 1: who get over something like this, go to therapy and
Speaker 1: make it work. But I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: My question is would this be something you could get
Speaker 1: over with your significant other? What do you guys think
Speaker 1: or sreenaw? Okay, uh, Listen, two years a long time
Speaker 1: to have an affair. This is not like he cheated.
Speaker 1: It was one night thing he regrets it still obviously
Speaker 1: not right, but there's different levels of wrong, and so
Speaker 1: the fact that he was intentionally cheating on you with
Speaker 1: an another woman for two years of your five year
Speaker 1: marriage is tough. Like, listen, Emily, you could probably get
Speaker 1: past it if you guys work hard, and you would
Speaker 1: have to have a lot of forgiveness in your heart,
Speaker 1: but also at the same time, you might hold it
Speaker 1: against him for the rest of your life. So I
Speaker 1: don't I mean, I'm not sure. If there's kids involved,
Speaker 1: obviously that changes the conversation as well, but it I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's gonna be tough because Emily, even if
Speaker 1: you guys get past this, I feel like, in you know,
Speaker 1: in a year, he's gonna be like, I'm going out
Speaker 1: with my friends, and in the back of your mind
Speaker 1: you're gonna be like, is he And you're gonna have
Speaker 1: to live with that for the rest of your life,
Speaker 1: and I'm not sure if it's worth it. So that's
Speaker 1: you can get past it, but it's not going to
Speaker 1: be easy, and it really just kind of depends on
Speaker 1: you have to decide on your level of comfort and
Speaker 1: your how much happiness you want your relationship, because unfortunately,
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be a part of it. This
Speaker 1: will be a part of the conversation of your relationship
Speaker 1: for forever. M I'm curiously for a woman's perspective, Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I have. Joe and I both have very strong like
Speaker 1: stances on cheating, like that would be an absolutely dear
Speaker 1: break or I'd be gone immediately. But I mean that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean I don't have sympathy for like how hard
Speaker 1: it would be to leave someone that you're in love with.
Speaker 1: I think there's a difference between wanting to get past
Speaker 1: something and actually know when you'll be able to get
Speaker 1: past it. Anyone that I know that's been cheated on,
Speaker 1: it's like if they stay with that person, it's out
Speaker 1: of desire to get past it. And once the breakup happens,
Speaker 1: whether it's like a year or two later about the
Speaker 1: affair or about something else, like it always comes to
Speaker 1: fruition that like it was always in the back of
Speaker 1: their mind, which I think it would be for me,
Speaker 1: Like I would never be able to fully rebuild that
Speaker 1: trust with someone. And like, yeah, like you said, Jared,
Speaker 1: if it was a one night stand, he came home
Speaker 1: next morning and immediately confessed to it. Like that's not
Speaker 1: to say that that's like a good thing, but like
Speaker 1: I think that there's more honesty in that, whereas like
Speaker 1: a two year affair, Like that's two years of like
Speaker 1: lying and broken trust and honesty, and like that's hard
Speaker 1: to come back from. You might love him, but like
Speaker 1: he's not loving you the way that you're loving him,
Speaker 1: and like that's not something that anyone deserves. That's and
Speaker 1: it's just so crazy to think about. They've been married
Speaker 1: five years and fort of that time he was simultaneously
Speaker 1: dating another woman, Like I that's crazy to me. I agree,
Speaker 1: Like there is different I guess levels to it. Like
Speaker 1: you said, Jared and Srina, one night stand still would
Speaker 1: suck and it was still probably like puts a big
Speaker 1: thor on your side. But the fact that this person
Speaker 1: was with a girl for two years while you were married,
Speaker 1: Like that's crazy and everyone's different and some people can
Speaker 1: get over it and work through it. Um I don't
Speaker 1: think I could be that person, but I mean maybe,
Speaker 1: but maybe, Like I don't know, like certain circumstances, like
Speaker 1: you said, if there's kids, or if you guys really
Speaker 1: love each other, if you really feel like he's sorry.
Speaker 1: But yeah, like you guys said, I think that will
Speaker 1: always be in the back of your head. Um about
Speaker 1: like you know, let's say he's on his phone. Well,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, this is also the girl we
Speaker 1: know about. I mean, if he's been cheating for two years,
Speaker 1: like one of the odds that this is the only one.
Speaker 1: And like, you guys are gonna be like sitting on
Speaker 1: the couch and he's gonna be on his phone and
Speaker 1: you're gonna be like in the kitchen and he's gonna
Speaker 1: be You're gonna be like looking at him like who
Speaker 1: the hell is he texting right now? Like what is
Speaker 1: he on his phone doing? And you're gonna have that
Speaker 1: feeling probably for the rest of the time that you
Speaker 1: guys are together. So you don't want that kind of uncomfortability. Um.
Speaker 1: I I personally couldn't do it. I don't think any
Speaker 1: three of us could do it. But I think to
Speaker 1: like you're like, this person has been lying to your
Speaker 1: face for every day for two years, like that is
Speaker 1: a very and to know that they were capable of
Speaker 1: doing that, like, in my mind, means they're probably capable
Speaker 1: of doing it again. And I just think, like a
Speaker 1: lot of people think that love is enough to save
Speaker 1: a relationship, it's not in my opinion. So just because
Speaker 1: you love this person and they claim to love you,
Speaker 1: does not mean you're going to be able to get
Speaker 1: past this and salvage the relationship. But it actually doesn't
Speaker 1: mean you should. It probably isn't healthy to begin with.
Speaker 1: I want to know. I want to know how she
Speaker 1: found out. That would really interesting. Um So, Emily, if
Speaker 1: you're listening and you feel okay divulging that information and
Speaker 1: like the email us again, please email us and let
Speaker 1: us know how the whole situation went down, because we're
Speaker 1: all three of us are pretty invested right now, and
Speaker 1: you can email. What's our email address, It's I suck
Speaker 1: at Dating at I heart media dot com. Baby, I'm impressed. Man,
Speaker 1: here's a podcasting and you finally got the email right
Speaker 1: for the first time, finally learned how to scroll to
Speaker 1: the top of the rundown and read the emailat you
Speaker 1: still don't know it off the top of your head.
Speaker 1: It's uh, I Suck a Dating at I heeart media
Speaker 1: dot com. Uh so, please keep emailing us, Sienna and Emily.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Emily. We're our hearts go out
Speaker 1: to you. We wish you nothing but the best. Um
Speaker 1: and once again we would love to hear from you more.
Speaker 1: Uh and that's gonna do it. For this week's episode
Speaker 1: of help I Suck a Dating. Thank you to everybody
Speaker 1: who's listening. Serena, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: Please give our love to Joe. Uh and uh, everybody listening.
Speaker 1: Please tune in next week, where hopefully we all suck
Speaker 1: just a little less. Hey, Jared, you forgot to plug
Speaker 1: our next episode this same week, where we've got contestants
Speaker 1: from Netflix. Is the ultimatum, Mary or move on joining us.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I just heard about this show and
Speaker 1: I need to watch it. It sounds absolutely chaotic. Well,
Speaker 1: you're in luck because in a couple of well you're
Speaker 1: gonna be part of the interview with them as well.
Speaker 1: But the listeners are in luck because in a couple
Speaker 1: of days that episode will hit Spotify, I hit Radio
Speaker 1: or podcasts, so stay tuned for that. Uh be sure
Speaker 1: tune and then, because then maybe we'll suck just a
Speaker 1: little bit less. Follow help by suck at Dating on
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast