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Speaker 1: Hey, I've got shows people, and I want to see

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Speaker 1: you out there. Come on out, let's have a good time.

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Speaker 1: Let's try and forget about the past two years. Let

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Speaker 1: me go to the details, all right, so you can

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Speaker 1: get tickets and make plans. Coming up on January four,

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Speaker 1: basically Friday, I'll be in Chicago at the Chicago Theater

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Speaker 1: for one night only. As January at Chicago Theater, one

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Speaker 1: night only. Then January twenty one and twenty second, I

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Speaker 1: will be in New York City at the Beacon Theater.

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Speaker 1: Who was Who's gonna come to New York City anyway?

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Speaker 1: Next up after that you can catch me at the

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Speaker 1: Capital of One Hall in Tyson's, Virginia January and January

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Speaker 1: twenty nine. All right, so more shows are being added,

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Speaker 1: but just keep checking my website Russell Peters dot com

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Speaker 1: for updates. And now please enjoy the shoe. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: you're between the lighters. Now, I see what you're seeing there. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm not seeing the giant ashtray from the seventies or No,

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Speaker 1: it looks like those are like terrible, frightening things coming

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Speaker 1: out of the couch. No, those are scuff marks from

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Speaker 1: people's shoes. They are and they look three dimensional like

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Speaker 1: they're gonna over here. Yeah, I thought you were seeing

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Speaker 1: something in the astray that I was seen. So I'm

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Speaker 1: going to tell you I have a hundred year old house,

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Speaker 1: right and it's very sexist. And I feel bad saying this, Courtney,

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Speaker 1: but that has to come with a husband, because more

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Speaker 1: things are wrong with it. And I feel like having

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Speaker 1: an old house sounds like that house is a husband. Now.

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Speaker 1: That's so funny. I was gonna say that it's literally

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Speaker 1: I feel like a very sick old man married me

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Speaker 1: for my money. But I realized, I said, I don't

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Speaker 1: know how much it costs how much husband many stories?

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Speaker 1: These days? I know how much they go away for,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know how much they go for. How

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Speaker 1: many stories? Is it too? Because a lot of times

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Speaker 1: they would build those really high to three four story houses.

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Speaker 1: But they literally asked me. They're like, oh, I'm like

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Speaker 1: hiding you it has a tiny basement. This is true. Um.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, the heating has not

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Speaker 1: worked in three weeks and it's getting really gold and

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Speaker 1: we can't get any of the televisions to work. So

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Speaker 1: I called someone and I'm not kidding. The television was

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Speaker 1: unplugged and the panel, the air conditioner or whatever that

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Speaker 1: it ran out of batteries. That's what it was. And

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Speaker 1: then they asked me, They're like, where is the heater?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, did you watch Sabrina? Is I

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Speaker 1: your favorite? I don't know where the heater is? Would

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Speaker 1: you like a black stuffed cat? Do you want some

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Speaker 1: fussy I mean black stuffcat? At that data and that's

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Speaker 1: why he's on network television. Um, speaking up. You know

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Speaker 1: thing about you is your instinct is so truly funny

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Speaker 1: to go for the funniest thing ever. And it happened

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Speaker 1: so quickly that at times you must go wha. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The worst time is when we're arguing and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I shouldn't have said that. Yeah. Have you had a

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Speaker 1: good couple's cancelor? No, we don't need it. We figure

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Speaker 1: it out. Her and I this one and I figure

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Speaker 1: it out. The rest of might be like bye the

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Speaker 1: fourth but really good fighter. Yeah, I'm not. I don't

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Speaker 1: like the only person who ever likes a couple of

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Speaker 1: canceling is the one that the cancler agrees with. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then like she was really intotive and smart. She's

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Speaker 1: like an EmPATH. She totally could see us, and I'm like, wrong,

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Speaker 1: I think Russell learned after the four pack picture. You

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Speaker 1: just saw that, the fact that you put it, you

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Speaker 1: format who is she? By the way, were you very

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Speaker 1: affected by snow white as a child, because they all

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Speaker 1: like it's like I wanted them to look Indian but

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Speaker 1: not Indian Indian. You want them to look Indian but

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Speaker 1: a very white version of Indian. That's an alley. And

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Speaker 1: then when you just met where's her hand? Can you

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Speaker 1: see it's not her bob? Yes? Actually yes, h did you? Yeah? Right,

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Speaker 1: it's beautiful. You know what's funny? Um, This friend of

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Speaker 1: mikee get married and her wedding invitation was she was

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Speaker 1: dressed as a mermaid and his hands were over her

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Speaker 1: boobs and I'm like, oh, like the Midwestern family almost fainted?

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Speaker 1: Are you? Are you having a big wedding? Not too big,

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Speaker 1: like a couple people, not COVID wedding. Yeah, no, a

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Speaker 1: couple hundred people. It's her second marriage, No, it's her first.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's why I'm marrying her. Well not that. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm also Alie's no dummy and she wants to get

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Speaker 1: to Canada. You're being used, but by a very lovely girl.

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Speaker 1: That's fine. The health care, she's happy. I know. I

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Speaker 1: just get hotter and hotter because of my Canadian citizenship.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. Yes and flashes, but and what and

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Speaker 1: hot flashes? I got hotter and hotter because of metal

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Speaker 1: pause but I mean lamp off above? Is there even

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Speaker 1: a heat lamp on it? Though? It was just me.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to make you feel like you were getting

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Speaker 1: on set early on set, early on set, yeah, very early.

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Speaker 1: There's this horrible store called Chicos. I know that my

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Speaker 1: mom shops there. My mahumm legit will be like I

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Speaker 1: want to go to Chicos and see if anybody has

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Speaker 1: any coupons. Oh my god. First of all, it's all

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Speaker 1: about coupons, but they don't even have actual sizes. It's

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Speaker 1: like one, two, and three. But the sizes should be

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Speaker 1: like menopause, facial hair like I mean vadraina like those

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Speaker 1: should be, isn't vadraina? Yeah? That's with the agent sand

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Speaker 1: God Courtney's here. That's all I have to say. That's

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Speaker 1: the name of this show. Are you signaling your mother

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Speaker 1: to come out? I'm signaling a man from real How

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Speaker 1: are you happy New Year, and he brought some health

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Speaker 1: He brought some health food over for us. Angelo, what

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Speaker 1: I got for you? Hey, and goes into his uh

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Speaker 1: my spot. He's fun. It's another he brought pizza. Hey, guys,

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Speaker 1: Angelo Serrucas just walked in. If if you're listening right now,

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Speaker 1: I'll keep talking while everybody's doing the introductions behind me,

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Speaker 1: um Angelo with pizza and hey, mahaga, No, no, you're

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Speaker 1: right here, Carolina. So you're gonna be hot. You're gonna

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Speaker 1: turn the heat, lamb. But it comes over here here. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know it won't be as hot over there. And

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Speaker 1: that's what I was thinking. I just well, if you

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Speaker 1: sit where listen, and if you sit where Bill is

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Speaker 1: and you don't have you don't have to hold the mic,

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Speaker 1: and you can hold your pizza. I could do besides fact,

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Speaker 1: guy friendly, I'm good here, I get better with the edge. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm good, okay, okay, And you can lean and eat

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Speaker 1: now can I talk? Yeah? Please do help yourself. Billy

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Speaker 1: Hams Russell Russell, So Angela Sruc has just walked any

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Speaker 1: walked in eating a pizza, and everyone left to cleave

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Speaker 1: the room, just like mclamity I walk in, Boom, every's gone.

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Speaker 1: You shouldn't walk in with pizza. I saw the pizza.

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Speaker 1: They're like, now, I'm like, look at that pizza. How

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Speaker 1: did you get out? To Larry Horowitz man? We were

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Speaker 1: talking about my favorite comics, Canadian comics, and he's one

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Speaker 1: of my favorite. We were talking about Mike McDonald right

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Speaker 1: before that. Larry the legend who's the one that told

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Speaker 1: me to never change my name was don't change your name?

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Speaker 1: Make fun of it? Yeah, Larry? What Larry was so funny?

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Speaker 1: I love. I could watch Larry every time he headline.

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Speaker 1: I would watch him check the mc bag, check in

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Speaker 1: mcbarth in the alley when he went to McDonald said,

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Speaker 1: they're so dumb at McDonald's. Can I get a chicken sandwich?

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Speaker 1: We don't have a chicken sandwich. We have a Mick

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Speaker 1: chicken sandwich. All right? Can I get the Mick chicken

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Speaker 1: sandwich and put it in the mic bag and so

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Speaker 1: I can go make bar from the mcaley Remember he

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Speaker 1: did that the there's one thing he did, oh the

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Speaker 1: blood pressure test of corporate and should his pants for real? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he used to do this thing about sitting in the

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Speaker 1: doctors and what can we get to the story why

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Speaker 1: how he should have and she's obsessed with him shooting

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Speaker 1: his pants and you gotta use the mike to Malacca

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Speaker 1: said to sit there, putso so that we're on. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're on. I thought we were just talking. No, yeah,

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Speaker 1: with microphones, Malacca, what do you mean? Okay? Okay? Is

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Speaker 1: that hey sus Tray on TV? Ni um? Yeah? No,

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Speaker 1: never mind his joke. Anyway, you can watch it on YouTube.

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Speaker 1: Let's put Larry harrowitz uh doctor's office and you'll you'll

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Speaker 1: see it. Not fine, what are we at? Yeah, we're good.

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Speaker 1: This is our non camera episode because you want to

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Speaker 1: do a camera today because you didn't come camera ready.

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Speaker 1: So and it's fair, you know when it's a lady.

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Speaker 1: When a lady were you know when you know, ladies

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Speaker 1: want to look their best as they can. So she's awesome,

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Speaker 1: she's she's awesome. She we did um I start at

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Speaker 1: the festival once in montre All and they went, we're

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Speaker 1: in Australia together. She's really cool Montreal girl. By the way, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we talked about that. I came late to the party. Sorry, guys,

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Speaker 1: I don't I don't know you're doing your podcast today?

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Speaker 1: I got Danielle's pizza. That's really good. Danyelles. Danielle's. Where's

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Speaker 1: that the one over by my my old house on

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Speaker 1: Laurel Canyon. Their loves they're really good. It's Lebanese pizza. Lean. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I do. Actually it looks so damn good. But well,

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Speaker 1: I thought I was gonna bring a Chick fil a sandwiches.

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Speaker 1: Chick fil A. The pizza is better pizza. I brought

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Speaker 1: the girl's a little cheese pizza. But the good it's

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Speaker 1: pretty good at me. Yeah, Lena's here, Olivia is here

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Speaker 1: at the dogs here. I brought the dog. Lea came.

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Speaker 1: So how how is everybody's Okay? I know I came

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Speaker 1: late to this, but how is everybody's? New Years? We

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Speaker 1: didn't talk about it was good. What did you do

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Speaker 1: New Year's? Billy? I was in the desert. What's your

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Speaker 1: friend's house? I was home by ten thirty by myself

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Speaker 1: and just uh sleep, no party to plan on New Years?

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Speaker 1: No party planning that day? And then my friend came

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Speaker 1: in New Years Day. You still got that Indian kid

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Speaker 1: working for you? Yeah, Paul, it's great. And you met

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Speaker 1: my hero at the show. Remember the Mike towards your face.

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Speaker 1: So she sent me she got a gage yesterday, said me,

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Speaker 1: hum face time me. She's great. And Paul was there

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Speaker 1: whether nice Bill doesn't give a funk if we're doing

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Speaker 1: a podcast them right now? The HI how was well,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I thought our I was on a

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Speaker 1: ship with a two forty positive. I just realized, Hold

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Speaker 1: on a second, I just realized. I think Caroline at

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Speaker 1: she's sitting at the table talking to the ladies. Wait. Wait,

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Speaker 1: you're on a ship. Wait thanks, Yeah, because the ship's kept.

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Speaker 1: Get every ship in the world has COVID, and the

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Speaker 1: one I was on, they kept the crew and the entertainment.

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Speaker 1: So the comics were we were negative. So we kept

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Speaker 1: doing shows and then the rest of the motorcycle. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so here you go, and um, you know, we did

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Speaker 1: the shows and then and then United canceled my flights

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Speaker 1: and then they and then good thing. I changed my flight.

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Speaker 1: I went with Alaska direct from Lauderdale to l A

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Speaker 1: because the flight they changed that got delayed another two

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Speaker 1: and a half hours, and they wanted me to go

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Speaker 1: through Chicago. Already got a fucked because Chicago I would

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Speaker 1: have never made. I would probably getting in now to

200
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Speaker 1: change my flight, the direct flight, and they don't have

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Speaker 1: enough people to load the bags on the plane. Underwhere

202
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Speaker 1: the employeement in the world don't all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: there's no nobody's working. There's no work. I found other

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Speaker 1: hustles apply free money. They got a taste of the

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Speaker 1: free money, and then all of a sudden they're like, Si,

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Speaker 1: there's you know a lot of people still getting unemployment.

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Speaker 1: So nobody wants to work in order a big max

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Speaker 1: like seventeen bucks. Well, the hospitality and service business, it's

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Speaker 1: called gambler the Canada. No, but think about it now,

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Speaker 1: it's Canada shut down. They shutdown Canada. All those gigs

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Speaker 1: are shut down, and then everything here shut down. You

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Speaker 1: can't get a fucking big mac. You want a cruise ship.

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Speaker 1: People are hammered with their drink packages. Nobody gives you ship.

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Speaker 1: United Airlines keeps canceling their flights and rebooking you to

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Speaker 1: nowhere because those fox don't know where they're fucking going.

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Speaker 1: But other than that, it's great, happy dear the amen.

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Speaker 1: Fast food's gone up. This is a this is a

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Speaker 1: real issue for fat people. Ball you don't understand. For

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Speaker 1: you guys, you don't care how much of big mats now,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, they're like a big back meals? What

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Speaker 1: about twenty bucks? I don't know. Yeah it is. Is

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Speaker 1: that a happy meal? Stop supersizing fifteen bucks? It's fifteen bucks, broke,

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Speaker 1: check it out. Get a big back fries and a drink.

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Speaker 1: It's about thirteen fourteen dollars. I'm telling it's all caught up.

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Speaker 1: It's well, it's not. And then a burger is still

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Speaker 1: under a burger without cheese at six. But yeah, but well,

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Speaker 1: you're not gonna get just one mac. You wanna get

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Speaker 1: a mac. You wanna get a fry, maybe six pack

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Speaker 1: of nuggets. You know it's a package, jal, what you're

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Speaker 1: for medium fries and a large drink. I think he's

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Speaker 1: speaking of a different Y're gone a baby sent che dude,

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Speaker 1: it's not how much you think? How much you think

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Speaker 1: a big backmeal is? Now, I don't order a big Max.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Five bucks. No, it's not a meal.

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Speaker 1: How not a meal? Just a sandwich and then with

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Speaker 1: the fries and the drink eight five bucks. No, it's not. No,

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Speaker 1: you're wrong. No, you're wrong right now, tell you right now.

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Speaker 1: A big Mac meal now is about twelve fourteen bucks, hey, Sirie,

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Speaker 1: check it out. What's the current price of a big

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Speaker 1: Mac combo at McDonald's. They're aways gonna tell you the cheapest. Not.

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Speaker 1: One possibility I see is Devenports restaurant on Ventura Boulevard.

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Speaker 1: You give me Devenports. No, the deven Ports might be

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Speaker 1: see for a big man, Hey, Sirie, What is the

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Speaker 1: current price of McDonald's big Mac combo McDonald's clos No you,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, it's five nine in a big Mac

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Speaker 1: meals five nine? You guys are doing You guys are wrong.

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Speaker 1: He's buying a multi five ninety nine, guys. Maybe in

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Speaker 1: Oklahoma's five ninety nine. And to tell you something, right, now, no,

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Speaker 1: you guys are all wrong. You were in Mexico, in Jamaica.

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Speaker 1: Of course it's gonna be more money, Big macmeal and

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Speaker 1: Los Angeles. You didn't give me the great Big macmeal

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Speaker 1: Los Angeles. How much you pay for a gallon of

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Speaker 1: gas and six bucks a gallon? Here? Yes, on Laurel

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00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:24,479
Speaker 1: Canyon its six dollars on the four down I've been around,

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Speaker 1: it's four nine nine on Laurel Canyon. Regular guys is

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00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:35,320
Speaker 1: four ninety nine Big macmeal, Big mcmeal price. This is

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Speaker 1: big mcmeal five ninety nine. You know what they are? Horrors,

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00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:43,639
Speaker 1: because that's exactly what it's not. Go to McDonald's and

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Speaker 1: get up for five nine nine. Can you show me

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00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:50,440
Speaker 1: that seventh that you and you're adding everybody's meal onto

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Speaker 1: this price McDonald's. Now when you go for the family

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Speaker 1: meals include meeting price and soft drink. Yeah, that's called

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Speaker 1: the og that you know what? You know what? Let

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00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:05,040
Speaker 1: me tell you something, Bill, can't You can't believe everything

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00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:09,200
Speaker 1: you read on the internet. Absolutely not, man, Go to

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Speaker 1: McDonald's and tell me freaking the Australia. Yeah, they paid

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Speaker 1: twenty six bucks an hour for for a minimum wage.

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00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,040
Speaker 1: So there you have to pay like thirty bucks for

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Speaker 1: a big macmill there. That's where he met Australia. Australia,

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Speaker 1: you're paying eighteen bucks. And he thought of Australia because

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Speaker 1: we need a big Macmillan's where it goes. It goes

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00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:33,760
Speaker 1: down under, it goes down Under. Come on, guy, my

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00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,719
Speaker 1: Caroline is coming back. We can wrap it up now

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00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:41,919
Speaker 1: when she gets here. Up with Caroline falling? Caroline? Have

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00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:46,000
Speaker 1: you ever done Carolines? In New York? Everyone else out

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00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:48,280
Speaker 1: my club. I'm not gonna feel bad that I leave

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00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:53,200
Speaker 1: the room. Is hysterical laughter for the cartney, yucking it up,

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00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,200
Speaker 1: nonsense for drya. Have I heard her laugh? At heart?

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00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,400
Speaker 1: Then I go out with your lovely wife, and your

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00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 1: lovely wife almost and another loving girl. We're all yucking

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00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,240
Speaker 1: it up there. I heard that you're a cancer. I'm

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00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:09,440
Speaker 1: a cancer on society. Uh huh, you heard me? Um?

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00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 1: I have a line of astrological cards, do you, and

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00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,200
Speaker 1: the cancer one is dear cancer. I'm the one who

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00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:21,400
Speaker 1: got hurt. Why are you crying like that? Because what's cospital? Caroline?

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00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:27,160
Speaker 1: I'm cancer slash Gemini four minutes past midnight in June.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, explain drink coffee, Caroline, No, just just chocolate's

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Speaker 1: gonna have and read your cup. Thank you Virgo for

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00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 1: pointing that out. You can read, you can read the cup.

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00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:40,760
Speaker 1: Read I read you read a cup. Cancers are very intuitive.

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00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:42,919
Speaker 1: You don't need a cup. You could read it an impact.

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00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:47,240
Speaker 1: It's it's really weird when he does it. I read, Okay.

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Speaker 1: Should you've had your experience with Greeks? Yes, I have,

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00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:57,040
Speaker 1: which is interesting that you got pregnant and great weddings. Yes,

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00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,440
Speaker 1: this is an old go into the first year ANNIVERSI

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00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 1: huh and my mom's my mom's mother's great great grandmother

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00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:10,919
Speaker 1: and uh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, super yeah. There

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00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 1: was some Gypsiasons ship going on there, right, So at

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00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 1: eleven years old, I knew they were. They'd read. I

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00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,680
Speaker 1: got an aunt in Montreal that reads them. They all

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00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,960
Speaker 1: read the coffee grinds the Greek coffee. I know how

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Speaker 1: to do it, but I never I never make it

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Speaker 1: a deal, right, but I do it so here um

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Speaker 1: and one of Russell's past lives here. They all want

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00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:32,120
Speaker 1: me to read their cups and I read Russell will

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00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,520
Speaker 1: let me read it anymore? And I actually read it

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00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:39,399
Speaker 1: once just within this entire the old thing and I

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00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 1: read once. I was with a friend of mine who

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00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 1: was an actress at the Great Greek on Ventura, and uh,

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00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,359
Speaker 1: this lady saw me reading her cup, my friend's cups,

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00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:48,800
Speaker 1: just read my cup. I'll just do it for I

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00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 1: do it for fun. But people didn't men read my cups. Yeah,

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00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:58,119
Speaker 1: I'm sure yours and uh and then uh, Meg Ryan

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00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,400
Speaker 1: was there with her manager and her man, you got

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00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,240
Speaker 1: me to read their cups. And this was about about

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00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 1: fourteen fifteen years ago, I guess it was. And it's

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00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 1: before she broke up with Dennis Quaid and I saw

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00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,000
Speaker 1: it in her cup. Yeah, I saw the whole thing.

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00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 1: And then her Barbara was a producer, kept going back

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00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,200
Speaker 1: to the Great Greek, saying, who's that guy the guy

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00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,200
Speaker 1: that reads the cups and the and the the only

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00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 1: so the guy was were talking about that got the

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00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 1: big guy. The guy is a comic. He reads coffee cups.

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00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 1: And I did it. They wanted to pay me. I

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00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 1: wouldn't take the money, and she said, they bought me

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00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,679
Speaker 1: my lunch. And then what happened was they I do

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00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,760
Speaker 1: this for I do it for fun. I do it

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00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:39,919
Speaker 1: for fun, but people in l A take it and

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00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,439
Speaker 1: Russell won't let me read his or well, I'll read them,

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00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:43,720
Speaker 1: and then people who want me to read them again,

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00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,480
Speaker 1: they're like, don't you're not reading my cup again. Well,

359
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 1: you're not supposed to say you're not supposed to have have

360
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 1: a bad cup of coffee bad. You know what it is,

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00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 1: it's about being accurate. I don't like it anymore. Yeah,

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00:21:53,200 --> 00:22:00,879
Speaker 1: it's uh what you Well. One time and I was

363
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:04,320
Speaker 1: dating this girl and hold on, I'm getting a psychic flash.

364
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 1: She had dark hair, a boot job esture, and she

365
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:15,360
Speaker 1: was a bit of a gold digger. Go on, right, yeah,

366
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,399
Speaker 1: which your friend tried to swipe if they are sold

367
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,440
Speaker 1: as a group of four. That's the worst part ever.

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00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:28,640
Speaker 1: I got my costco costco. So I was dating this girl.

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00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 1: I was really into her and for a minute, and

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00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 1: then we had a baby, and then uh, I asked

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00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 1: and to read my cup to reading my cup and

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00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,879
Speaker 1: he says, I keep singing m and I'm getting in

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00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 1: the way of this relationship with mar And I was

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00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 1: like her ex boyfriend, Malcolm, Malcolm the ex boyfriend. I

375
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 1: knew this motherfucker would get in the way. And she's like,

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00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't know, I've just seen him. I

377
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,719
Speaker 1: don't see a gender. I just see him. This M

378
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,560
Speaker 1: is going to be the reason you don't you won't

379
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 1: be together. And I'm like this motherfucker. And this was

380
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 1: July of two I'm like, damn anyway. We're together until

381
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,520
Speaker 1: December of two thousand nine. We break up. And then

382
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,360
Speaker 1: two days after we break up, I meet my daughter's mother, Monica,

383
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 1: and I'm like, wow, that was fucking wild. Yeah it

384
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 1: wasn't Malcolm, it was Monica. I see any do you

385
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 1: know what else? Then he saw a lot of m's

386
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 1: going away for money that millions, millions, money, millions. I

387
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 1: see an M. But it's getting smaller and smaller than migraines.

388
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 1: We can continue when yeah I can't. What did I say?

389
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: Cruise ship coming in or out? And I met this

390
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,320
Speaker 1: girl in Florida. We met up and then she wanted

391
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 1: me to drop her off at her cruise ship where

392
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 1: she was leaving the next day. That was like a

393
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,959
Speaker 1: month later. It's like, what the fun I can think

394
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,680
Speaker 1: about the readings. You think I'm crazy until the ship

395
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,479
Speaker 1: happens to them. I don't think it's easy at all.

396
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 1: You kidding, It's got it's got to be Greek coffee.

397
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,400
Speaker 1: We can make you one if you wanted to read

398
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 1: an read or you're going to meet a guy Sankoh wow,

399
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 1: it's you're going to meet a guy and he's going

400
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 1: to be a grand day. I always feel the best

401
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:32,960
Speaker 1: size would have been girth Day. That's me, Girthday guy.

402
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 1: I love going to the Girthay Cafe. Girth Cafe, girth Cafe,

403
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Speaker 1: girth Brooks. That's my name. Hilarious. For most people, the

404
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Speaker 1: new year means rethinking how they take care of themselves,

405
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Speaker 1: and sometimes that means it's time to rethink how you

406
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Speaker 1: prevent stink. Native makes it easy to switch to a

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Speaker 1: Native cares about the products you put on your body.

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Speaker 1: They're all about stopping the stink the right way. That's

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Speaker 1: is on a mission to overhaul your entire hygiene routine.

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Speaker 1: and over ten cents to choose from ten cents, not

418
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:38,400
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419
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 1: Now is the time to treat yourself with Native. If

420
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421
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422
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423
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424
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:02,640
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425
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:06,680
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426
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427
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:14,320
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428
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 1: promo code peters at checkout for off your first order. Yeah,

429
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,919
Speaker 1: oh I love it. Virgo hilarious no no sound, no

430
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:31,360
Speaker 1: after just hilarious hilarious. Okay, I would like a cup

431
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 1: of Greek coffee. I want you to read my will

432
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: drink it though you have to drink it. Okay, well,

433
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 1: how much is it? How much? This much? Okay, I

434
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 1: got to read the grinds I'll do after you want one. Okay,

435
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:45,399
Speaker 1: court to, Oh that's good. It's actually Greek coffee is

436
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,960
Speaker 1: good for you to. Oh I've heard that before. I

437
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 1: have a baby. Yeah no, he said, the Greek coffee.

438
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,960
Speaker 1: The baby's your fun because Greek sex was in your ass.

439
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 1: Never very Canadian. All girls go not me. Um. I

440
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 1: was in Greece, uh, when Americans were not very popular.

441
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,360
Speaker 1: We get in this car. We're in Athens. The guy

442
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:15,640
Speaker 1: is smoking so much when this tiny car and he goes,

443
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 1: you American and I'm like, where a Canadian? And of

444
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,120
Speaker 1: course kataki. He suddenly like we're Canadian and like okay,

445
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 1: now we're talking and I'm like cover cover a little

446
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 1: like whatever, um so put up put that. I can't

447
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 1: say it anyway. I'm covered in like Canadian pans. And

448
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 1: the guy goes, you know, American and we're like, no

449
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 1: Canadian gos. Do you know you do the acc and

450
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 1: I sound like dragon or whatever. He goes, do you

451
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 1: know what oil is made of? And I'm like, uh,

452
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: We're like good. He's like blood they had a mother.

453
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 1: We're like, oh my god, we're gonna be killed in car.

454
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: Oh my god. He's going on and on. He's like

455
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,199
Speaker 1: he is a mother. I'm like, oh Jesus, and then

456
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,159
Speaker 1: he goes, I want to ask you one question. I'm like,

457
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:10,959
Speaker 1: what is the word for the animal that pulls Santa sled?

458
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what reindeer? Yes, it was bugging me

459
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 1: all day anyway, they are mothers exactly for that little break.

460
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 1: Drivers are weird, man. They know everything. If you want anything,

461
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 1: you want to talk about getting a taxi cab in

462
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: grease and they just they'll just talk to you about

463
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,439
Speaker 1: everything but hate you. Yeah, they hate you too, but

464
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: they're they're also they have all the side business. I

465
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 1: got in a cab years ago. Are you married? I go, no, okay,

466
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: we'll stop by my house that I want you to

467
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: meet my niece. And we actually went by his house

468
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 1: and courting thos, we're going back. We went by the house.

469
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: This was years agoing out a single. They wanted me

470
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 1: to meet his niece and it was like it was

471
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 1: the weirdest thing. Man. She liked, Yes, she liked the

472
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 1: She was it so weird, Like, oh my, because where

473
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:07,239
Speaker 1: you from? Because this is a Greek date. Where are

474
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 1: you from? What are your parents do? Where do you live? Oh?

475
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 1: My dad as a restaurant. This is that has buildings. Yeah,

476
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 1: where do you live? Yeah, okay, we'll go. We're gonna

477
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 1: go by my house. And when you see my niece,

478
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 1: they break it down. It's like Indians, same thing, man,

479
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 1: they break it down. My parents do. Where they from?

480
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: What village? What village? What do they do? I was

481
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 1: in Kim Whitley and this is an astrology story. So

482
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 1: I was with Kim Whitley. It's gonna be the same

483
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:33,959
Speaker 1: bad accent, but now he's gonna be Italian. And we

484
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 1: there is this We were going to see the Colisseum.

485
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 1: We were in Rome and it was a tour guide

486
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 1: and they were advertised as college graduate tour guides and

487
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: we're like, oh, they get some hot college graduate. The

488
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 1: guy graduate from college and maybe and like he had

489
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 1: teeth that he went to the cosmetic dentist and said,

490
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 1: you know, stonehenge, That's what I want my teeth to

491
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 1: look like, except each stone black and far far away

492
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 1: from the others, a total of five, Like that's what

493
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 1: it is. And so like not attractive, but had swagger,

494
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 1: sucking swagger. Anyway, we get in the car and he

495
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 1: literally says in the minivan, he goes, I'm sorry, I

496
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,480
Speaker 1: was late. I was sucking a woman from New Jersey.

497
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 1: I swear three holes and we were like, I swear

498
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 1: to you and we're both like visualizing during the math

499
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 1: in our heads and he's like, She's like, she was

500
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 1: the best in bed I've ever had. She's so fucking

501
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 1: crazy as April thirteen. And then he says to my

502
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 1: friend Marla, what is your birthday blundie and she goes

503
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 1: April thirteen? And then he goes, what about you? And

504
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, a Kim. He was awful to Kim. He said,

505
00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 1: who are you at the mid Oh? That was ugly?

506
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 1: Sheet or off. Then we get to the Colosseum and

507
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, are you gonna park you? I'm not going

508
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 1: to park. I've seen it a thousand times. I'm like,

509
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 1: what are you doing this? It's so hot and in

510
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 1: the air conditioning. Just on the head and join a

511
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 1: cruise ship your friend right there. So we had to

512
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 1: be like pretend we were like, hi, we're late with

513
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 1: the door complete. Did it work? Yeah? Work there? That's

514
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 1: really the bottom line here, bottom line. Did the scam work? Yes?

515
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 1: So I want to know, did did Kim go off

516
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: on home? Oh? She killed him? If you know what

517
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 1: had I been able to record it Kim that By

518
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: the way, Kim is very beautiful in Italy. I've never

519
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 1: seen man go crazier. She I'm not everywhere and I

520
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 1: was on like two shows at the time. I was

521
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 1: like her publicist and Marla was like invisible. We were

522
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:39,959
Speaker 1: just you know, Italian. Oh my god, they were going crazy.

523
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 1: She literally everyone was proposing to her. It was hilarious.

524
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 1: Did she Well, you'll have to have Kim on the show.

525
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 1: We've had Kim. I can again. It was me, Kim, Me,

526
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 1: Kim and Lunelle and we called you, didn't we how

527
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 1: I was, you're right? And we did you Kim and Lunell. Yeah, wow, Yeah,

528
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 1: that was a fun episode. I was actually about it

529
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: just over under a year ago. It's like February of

530
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 1: last year, wasn't it? I remember? Was it? This? Justify

531
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 1: your Hat? Thanks where gun named Keith and Keith James

532
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 1: from where he's from Atlanta, but he's got a store

533
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 1: in Beverly Hills. Does so guys make it so great.

534
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 1: I don't wear a hat, but Cedric, these guys you

535
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 1: can wear hats. I'd like to show my California curl

536
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:28,959
Speaker 1: and his bad fucking haircuts. Weren't that in about my haircut?

537
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 1: Why are you guys friends? I think it's because it

538
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 1: was also in prison, and he just like, you know what,

539
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 1: you know what it is. This is his parole officer.

540
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 1: It's all that sense to me now. Most party planner,

541
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 1: I got it. Most of my friends. I needed one

542
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 1: that was fifty seven percent white. Yeah, um, I have

543
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: to go. Yeah, my I said. Having a thirteen year

544
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: old daughter as a comedian, it's as if the heckler

545
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 1: has followed me home. So she just called me to

546
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 1: yell at me. I was like, okay, where are you?

547
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: Where are you? Why have you been picking up some

548
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 1: pizza home with you? She's gonna take chocolate. She's once

549
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: Now I'm not kidding. Okay, I brought some chocolates. I

550
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 1: opened with how beautiful its skin is. Okay, I've been

551
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 1: at three times. I'm going to go into a diabetic coma.

552
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 1: Just bills an enabler. That's why chocolate, Eddie. Can you

553
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 1: make me a tiny cup of great coffee? Please tell Lena,

554
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: Tell Lena that was your job in prison. I know

555
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: it's Greek coffee makery cents a day. Who knows like

556
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 1: the stupidest thing in the world is like, we struggle,

557
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 1: we work, we write new jokes all we do. And

558
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 1: if you just buy one house and never sell it,

559
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: you're fine. It's the dumbest thing ever. Yes, but I'm

560
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 1: not last Angel is not. I don't have a bad attitude,

561
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 1: but it's not. This is not home. I'm with you, kid.

562
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 1: I never feel at home here. It's and you know

563
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 1: what really makes it home is that you have a

564
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 1: hang in your friends. That's what LA can be when

565
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 1: you don't. It's true. You know, you can come and

566
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 1: hang out any time. Okay, thank you, he said, h

567
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 1: h that should be your for alcoholics. You're a Canadian. Well,

568
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 1: I date from like New York, living in New York

569
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,319
Speaker 1: and friends you well New York. The thing is New

570
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 1: York is your date. The whole city will entertain you.

571
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:25,839
Speaker 1: You can go out and go to a comedy club,

572
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 1: you can go to a Broadway show, you can go

573
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 1: to your friends. You can see another human right here.

574
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 1: I actually like it because I can hear my neighbors.

575
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 1: You know, it's just l A's it's just and and

576
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:38,880
Speaker 1: it's an old jerk, but it's really the truth. I

577
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 1: can't merge. So I have to leave my house in

578
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 1: the lane that I want to end up in. I

579
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 1: cannot do the whole cross five lanes getting I can't

580
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:49,120
Speaker 1: do it. When I moved back from New York, I

581
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 1: had an apartment on Fourth and Cloverdale. Oh night, I

582
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,880
Speaker 1: almost bought a house on Cloverdale. Yeah, so, but it

583
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 1: was an apartment. It was from New York, and I

584
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,399
Speaker 1: was going back and forth. But where did you live

585
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 1: in New York forty three and eight? It was a

586
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:05,919
Speaker 1: brand new building back then it was two bedim too bad.

587
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 1: This is so three thousand dollars a month. It was

588
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 1: eighty seven. It was three thousand a month. I know.

589
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:22,879
Speaker 1: It's still a lot even in that almost hell's kitchen. Yeah,

590
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: the improv wast between ninth and ten, and that's the

591
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,759
Speaker 1: first car. And you would go and you'd have to,

592
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:29,799
Speaker 1: like once a month whatever, you take a number and

593
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:32,280
Speaker 1: do the lottery to go in. And I remember auditioning

594
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: and I got like a two thirty am spot eventually,

595
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 1: and then they brought you back for like a three

596
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,879
Speaker 1: am spot. I remember having like three jobs and then

597
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 1: going home, going to bad after my three jobs and

598
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 1: setting my learned for three am sorry. I could go

599
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:49,800
Speaker 1: and do a set at the Improv Threm Yeah yeah,

600
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 1: and there were I remember literally seeing a prostitute which

601
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 1: I've never seen in Canada and she was ring like

602
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 1: a Vinyl outfit that was clear, and I was like,

603
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:02,919
Speaker 1: it's definitely a brush. Oh my god, I never seen one.

604
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 1: Or is interesting with comedy because I remember two thousand

605
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 1: and five I had sold out the Apollo Theater in

606
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 1: Harlem two shows. It was the line wrapped around the building.

607
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: And then I went to the comic strip like a

608
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 1: day day or two later, and the lady said, I'll

609
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 1: put you on. Um, I'll give you five minutes. So

610
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 1: I sixteen years and stand up already. I go on.

611
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 1: I do my set, you know, I like set up

612
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,360
Speaker 1: jokes by talking to the the crowd. I get off and

613
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: I go. So she goes, well, I don't usually like

614
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 1: my open micro's talking to the audience. I'm like, open micros,

615
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 1: whitch what the you're talking like? She's like, have you

616
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 1: called in maybe a month or two, I might put

617
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,399
Speaker 1: you back on. I'm like, what, I just sucking sold

618
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 1: out the Apollo Theater. Lucien said to me when I

619
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 1: first started, because he's owed the Comic Trip. He said,

620
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: Lucian was always good to me. Well, I think you're

621
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 1: obviously naturally funny, but I don't really see this working

622
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 1: out as a career for you. So if you're still

623
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,320
Speaker 1: doing it in two years, come back, okay. Yeah, And

624
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:03,360
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna come back in twenty years

625
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 1: and possibly buy the club. Yeah, Lucian died, people, Yeah,

626
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,919
Speaker 1: he died with the hands that were all screwed up, right. Yeah,

627
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: that's your compassionate Greek side coming out all over the place. Remember,

628
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 1: I remember your hands are all street and that's how

629
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:24,399
Speaker 1: about what's going on there. I'm gonna turn your ass

630
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:25,880
Speaker 1: over and read it. I'm gonna say what's wrong with

631
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 1: you and gonna read the rings around your asshole too.

632
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 1: He really good. Something bad happened. He had a lot

633
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:39,319
Speaker 1: of real it's pretty bad. Poor whatever was he went

634
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,879
Speaker 1: blind at night? Oh my god, it was pretty bad.

635
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 1: It was a pretty brutal death. Okay, Well I have

636
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 1: to go. Thanks for listen to Culturally Canceled this week.

637
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:52,439
Speaker 1: Your next guest calls clubs theaters all across country. Human

638
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:57,400
Speaker 1: Bloom part with Brussel Beat. Well, let's people have died

639
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 1: since we last hit a program. Oh do we January nine,

640
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,960
Speaker 1: let's count that the body counts I already to see

641
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 1: here it's horrible. Alright, well, I don't want to end

642
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: it on that note. Thanks for listening to this, Yeah right.

643
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,839
Speaker 1: I want to thank Caroline Ray for being here, Bill

644
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 1: Hamm and the event planner and friend of mine to

645
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 1: four star reviews. It will prove it. And he's closed

646
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 1: right now, okay, and Angelo Cerrucas for dropping in with

647
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 1: some pizza. Hey guys, and and then Pauli, Eddie Courtney,

648
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 1: Thanks guys, see you later. By I want to close

649
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 1: with a quote. Sorry, sorry, Billy. So good luck is

650
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:45,719
Speaker 1: a residue of preparation. Good luck is the residue of preparation.

651
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 1: You know what. I'm the Queen of inspirational quotes. That

652
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 1: one what what good luck is the residue of what preparation,

653
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 1: the residu do of preparation. My favorite quote is Jack

654
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 1: Handy from the SNL and he said, it takes a

655
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,600
Speaker 1: big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger

656
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 1: man to laugh at that man who's crying. You know

657
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,800
Speaker 1: which one I like? I like this one. It's a

658
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 1: failure is an orphan, but success has a thousand fathers.

659
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 1: Failure is an orphan, but success has a thousand father

660
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 1: Is this the part of the show where I'm just

661
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:34,160
Speaker 1: like what I am, the queen of empty notebooks with

662
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,279
Speaker 1: inspirational quotes. I wouldn't buy either of those notebooks. That's

663
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 1: a good one. Grandmother told me that the pull of

664
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 1: a woman's vagina is stronger than a thousand horses. You

665
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 1: know what, I do have that notebook. It's a fuzzy notebook.

666
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:57,480
Speaker 1: But lords do not rob that notebook the wrong way. Hello,

667
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,359
Speaker 1: it's stiffened sometimes of a chalkboard. You can I read

668
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 1: monologues in it. That's the best way to close this one.

669
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I try one more for you.

670
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 1: Just you bombed one so many times. I didn't get

671
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,359
Speaker 1: another shitty quote. Hey, listen and Bill use the mic

672
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 1: and really get this one on. I know that you

673
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,400
Speaker 1: didn't swipe, but I'd like you to not swipe again.

674
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 1: Go ahead. Every morning I go through this little site

675
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 1: that I so never feel guilty for sending boundaries to

676
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 1: protect your peace. How's that one to protect your piece? Oh?

677
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 1: I immediately I immediately went with P I E C E.

678
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:42,919
Speaker 1: That's hilarious. You're not getting in my piece. You got boundaries, Billy.

679
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:46,799
Speaker 1: You gotta have boundaries and a piece of your boundaries.

680
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 1: It's called a condom. Good night, everybody, I brought I

681
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 1: brought pizza. Hey, thanks for listening. I hope you enjoyed

682
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 1: this conversation. If you like the podcast, please be sure

683
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 1: to rate and review it on Apple Podcasts so more

684
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: people can find out about it. And if you didn't

685
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,360
Speaker 1: like it, go fuck yourself and follow us on Instagram

686
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:11,800
Speaker 1: and culturally canceled and culturally RP on Twitter. We're also

687
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 1: on YouTube. If you want to see what the backyard

688
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:15,240
Speaker 1: kind of looks like. You don't really see the backyard

689
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 1: looks like. Let me just see where my smoking section

690
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 1: looks like. And you can probably sneak a peek in

691
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:22,400
Speaker 1: the house. You're a weirdo. Also, we have a phone

692
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 1: line now, so call and leave a message. You can

693
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 1: ask me about whatever you want to ask me about,

694
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:30,360
Speaker 1: hip hop, parenting, food, boxing, mm A, relationships, comedy, sex,

695
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:31,880
Speaker 1: so I don't give a ship. Ask me whatever you

696
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 1: want and I'll do my best to answer your question.

697
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 1: If you want to leave a message, the phone number

698
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 1: is four to four six six six. That's four to

699
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 1: four six six Until next week, I'm murder. Rest the

700
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 1: Peth