WEBVTT - Daddy Issues and Bad Bunny Feat. Eric Dickerson 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.520 Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife. 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:06.440 She couldn't. She cleaned and cared for her children and 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:08.880 the man of the house, and of course she didn't 0:00:08.960 --> 0:00:12.240 talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature. 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:15.600 She was a good woman who always made good choices. 0:00:16.640 --> 0:00:18.759 That ship, we're good Mom's bad choices. 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:21.520 You single mom who said fuck the patriarchy, shared all 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:22.640 their bad choices. 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:23.600 And sound out they were so bad. 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:26.600 After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties. 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:30.360 Sit back and enjoy the ride. 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:29.160 I can. 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:34.720 Welcome back to good Mom's bad choices. I'm Nila, and 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:37.800 I'm Erica, and it's Wednesday, bitches. 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:39.600 Happy motherfucking hot day. 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:43.440 Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. 0:00:44.840 --> 0:00:49.680 Is that Mace? Is that Eminem? We're welcome back? Is 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:55.120 it Eminem? Oh it's Mace. Look at the rats. I know, 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:56.960 I know the raps, the raps. 0:00:57.080 --> 0:00:59.320 I have Mace's CD from Tower Records, right here on 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:01.840 Little in Ventura Records. 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:02.920 Yes I do. Oh my god. 0:01:02.920 --> 0:01:04.240 It used to be like an event to go get 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:06.440 the new album and right here on the and then 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:08.760 you listen like get the little sample. 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:12.400 I was devastated when records closed specifically the one in Hollywood, 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:15.360 because that was like a real iconic staple on Sunset. 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:22.360 I forgot about the one in uh the gallery. Don't 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:29.880 the CD stool got my ears pierced there, damn Anyway, 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:33.759 you guys, I'm just gonna get into it. Might as well. Okay, 0:01:34.120 --> 0:01:36.000 we have a special guest today. He is a former 0:01:36.040 --> 0:01:39.280 guest of the show and a staple in my life. 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:44.440 Half of your makings. We have my daddy on the show, 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:50.040 my real dad, not like my daddy, my dad dad, 0:01:51.360 --> 0:01:58.280 football Hall of Famer podcaster Eric Dickerson, Father, Eric Dickerson, 0:01:58.440 --> 0:01:59.240 Welcome to the show. 0:01:59.400 --> 0:01:59.600 Eric. 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:01.200 I think I've never called you that. 0:02:01.360 --> 0:02:03.680 No, thank you, thank you, thank you for happening. 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:07.240 I was listening to our past episode with him, and 0:02:07.280 --> 0:02:12.760 you introduced him as an All Star All Star Players 0:02:13.200 --> 0:02:13.880 football player. 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:16.240 I got it right this time, I got I said, 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:18.960 Hall of Famer football player, right, yeah, okay, because all 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:19.760 starts the basketball. 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:23.160 Yeah yeah, okay. Welcome back, Dad, back to the show. 0:02:23.200 --> 0:02:23.840 Thank you for coming. 0:02:24.400 --> 0:02:28.640 I know he's the All Star of those motherfucking ribs. 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:31.560 A star. What are you barbecue? 0:02:32.080 --> 0:02:34.240 I have been barbecued him months, but anytime I. 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:36.959 Want, I need that recipe past. 0:02:38.480 --> 0:02:41.400 One minute, you eat meat in the next thing you. 0:02:41.000 --> 0:02:43.320 This is her story. She's a flexitarian. 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:44.440 Yeah, that's exactly. 0:02:44.520 --> 0:02:46.560 You don't know what the balance because I want to 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:47.720 live alone. She goes extreme. 0:02:47.800 --> 0:02:50.840 She'll go from the vegan to pork right exactly. 0:02:51.440 --> 0:02:52.720 Currently, I'm a vegetarian. 0:02:53.520 --> 0:03:01.880 No fish, you say, okay, we'll take her portion of ribs. 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:05.640 Welcome back to the show, Dad. A lot has happened 0:03:05.639 --> 0:03:09.000 since then. When the last time we were you were 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:13.280 on the show seven years ago. I think the Rams 0:03:13.280 --> 0:03:16.160 had just come to La. Yeah, and I was a 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:18.320 year and a half out of my relationship, which seems 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:21.040 crazy because it seems like I've been out of that 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:22.440 relationship for twenty years. 0:03:22.680 --> 0:03:24.400 It doesn't seem like it was seven years ago that 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:25.160 you came on the show. 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:26.600 But I know. I told Eric, I thought it was 0:03:26.600 --> 0:03:27.560 four three or four years. 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:29.320 It was like very early in the podcast. It was 0:03:29.400 --> 0:03:32.359 like twenty nineteen, March twenty nineteen or it was in 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:34.880 the dining room. Yeah, the dining room. I was in 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:37.600 the I was in the interview because leave us alone, 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:39.840 and she had headphones on him. I was like holding her. 0:03:40.560 --> 0:03:44.880 It was a lot of our early episodes, how are you. 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:45.560 I'm good. 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:46.880 How's it going today? Dad? 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:50.120 This is going good? My dear, you look good. Thank you. 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:54.360 I'm old, but you're not old. Yeah, I mean I am. 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:56.480 Like I said, yeah, in your thirties to me's husband 0:03:56.520 --> 0:03:59.240 say he's thirty five. My gosh, that's thirty years ago 0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:00.880 for me. I can't believe it. 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:02.800 You know, if you're old, I want to age like 0:04:02.840 --> 0:04:04.560 you and my mom, because you and my mom looked 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:08.040 pretty fucking good for like you consider old hopefully. 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:09.720 You know, you got your jewels on, you got your 0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:11.360 all black. You're looking pretty small to me. 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:14.720 So you know, like this old man is what it is? 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:16.800 As you get older? 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:20.280 Do you think you get like do women get more 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:22.720 bold or does it die off? Because you know you're 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:24.480 you're an older football player. So I just want to 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:26.960 know what is like the trajectory of the groupies as 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:29.960 you get older, they get tired. 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:33.720 Great, great question. You know I'm not a guy that's 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:35.159 out there anymore. I mean I used to go to 0:04:35.200 --> 0:04:36.960 bars and clubs and parties. Like I was just left 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:41.320 super Bowl this weekend. I went out twice out I 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:43.200 didn't we want to go went to dinner at six 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:47.359 o'clock and went to the party. I think I was 0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:49.360 at like eight thirty nine o'clock and I'm like, hey, 0:04:49.480 --> 0:04:50.840 I'm out of here. Like ten thirty, I said, I 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:52.640 want to get out of here. I mean, I just 0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:54.960 can't do that no more. And you know, the young girls, 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:56.680 they still come up, some of them. I'm just what 0:04:56.720 --> 0:04:58.200 am I going to do? I don't get your number. 0:04:58.320 --> 0:05:00.400 I mean they take give me a how to give 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:03.480 a girl my eyes? I have no clue. So you 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:06.440 know that's just I'm I'm past that stage. 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:08.760 At what point did you think you got to this point? 0:05:08.760 --> 0:05:10.680 Because I feel like a lot of men they really 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:13.720 hang on, like obviously you're in a long term relationship, 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:16.080 but I'm some of your colleagues who haven't been, who 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:17.960 haven't gone that route, like I feel like they really 0:05:18.440 --> 0:05:21.240 they'll go with they'll go to the to the wheels 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:21.640 fall off. 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:23.560 Yeah, some some do go to the wheels fall off. 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:26.039 I mean I think I got there probably in my 0:05:27.240 --> 0:05:29.600 late thirties because I did a lot. I mean I 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:31.400 was going I mean I wouldn't a heavy drinker, but 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:33.800 I didn't do drugs. But the clubs is my thing. 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:35.680 Clubs and strip clubs and all that kind of stuff. 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:37.479 I was doing all that kind of stuff. I won't forget. 0:05:37.560 --> 0:05:39.839 I think I was in Miami and I was maybe 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:42.159 thirty nine or forty years old, and they said, Okay, 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:44.840 we're gonna go to We're gonna go to dinner or 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:46.760 to dinner early. He said, then we're gonna we're gonna 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:50.400 meet and go out at midnight. And I'm like, what midnight? 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:54.320 I'm like, what the hell. I'm like, okay, I said, well, 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:55.880 I need to go back and maybe take a nap 0:05:57.400 --> 0:05:59.279 so I won't forget. I went back to my hotel 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:03.599 and it was about eleven forty five. I'm like, it's 0:06:03.680 --> 0:06:05.400 nowhere in the hell. I'm thin. They get up and 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:07.240 go to no club. I take her say, man, I'm 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:09.680 not going. I just I can't do it. That's when 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:11.440 I think, you know, it was old for me, and 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:14.159 you know, do I miss that life? Not even not 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:15.960 even a little bit. Yeah. 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:18.279 I think that. I think that drugs have to be 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:20.920 involved past a certain age in order to be out 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:23.200 of the house past. 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:25.440 Eleven forty nine or vacation, like, you have to be 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:27.760 really motivated because you're in a new city, new country, 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:31.039 and you're like, oh yes, late I'm going out to explore. 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:36.560 Not at sixty years old, not in Miami six years old. 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:38.960 I'm not you know, some guys, I mean, I got friends. 0:06:39.040 --> 0:06:40.839 I got some guys that I know that they still 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:42.599 get out there. I'm like, man, how do you do it? Man? 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:44.599 I mean, I just don't understand it. But like I said, 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:45.880 that's just that's not my life. 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:46.559 They're tired. 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:50.919 They look tired. Yeah, but you know they can do that. 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:53.159 I can. 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:55.520 I see some of your friends. I could. I could 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:58.040 see that some of them still be outside in these 0:06:58.080 --> 0:07:02.080 streets trying to pick up a young young and he 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:05.000 seems his friends out. I don't see them out. I 0:07:05.120 --> 0:07:06.360 just see the look in their eyes. 0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:10.080 First of all, I'm gonna take it as much. Here 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:11.920 a man who always had that look in his eye. 0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:13.640 You know, that's just how it worked. He's a man, 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:16.360 you know, and that's just that, that's that animal instinct 0:07:16.360 --> 0:07:18.080 and you might not do nothing, but he gonna look 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:22.560 like damn like that. Wow. I mean, it's just it's 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:23.200 just who you are. 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:25.280 The other day, we were driving and she came there 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:27.520 was a girl like on the side of the street, 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:30.240 and Kim was like, hmm, I saw you look at 0:07:30.280 --> 0:07:33.280 her ass and I said no, I wasn't. And he 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:39.840 was like, you were looking at her ass? And I 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:41.960 was like, it's okay. He was like, no, you were looking. 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:43.880 I was like, babe, I didn't even bring this up, 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:47.680 like it's okay, you can look at her as it was. 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:49.480 It was him. Trust I know. 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:52.960 I'm on our last episode. You said that eighty percent 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:55.440 of men are unfaithful. Is this still a fact? 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:58.680 Oh? Yeah, most men. I mean, look, you can find 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:00.320 you can find a good man. Don't get me wrong. 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:01.880 I mean, there's some good men out there that that 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:04.000 don't cheat. And I'm not saying I don't. I don't 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:07.640 condone that. I'm saying it's right by no means. But men, 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:11.280 we are hunters by nature. I mean, and that's just 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:13.880 the facts. I mean. You know, you'd like to believe, 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:16.240 or like, want your man to be with one woman 0:08:16.280 --> 0:08:18.720 this whole life, and women shea way smarter than we do. 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:21.400 Y'all cheat too, and but y'all smarter. Boy. The man 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:23.440 go ahead and you come back with lipstick on his collar, 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:27.840 you know, stuff on its pay like damn well, and women, 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:31.480 you be screwing the neighbor. And two years later said 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:35.719 I'm leaving what I'm leaving the neighbor. What how long 0:08:35.840 --> 0:08:38.959 that's been going on? I mean, because y'all, y'all calculated 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:40.880 by the men do stuff off of whom you know, 0:08:41.400 --> 0:08:43.480 with the with the head with no brain in it. 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:46.400 That's that's our problem, you know. So yes, I mean, 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:48.280 I'm not saying all men sheat by no means. And 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:50.600 like I said, I said, I don't condone it. But 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:53.320 you know, the thing is, for a man, it's hard 0:08:53.360 --> 0:08:55.880 to say, no, it just is. I mean, if you could, 0:08:55.960 --> 0:08:58.040 you could, you could be a faithful man, really faithful. 0:08:58.080 --> 0:09:00.400 It's not hard to say, say, I just see. 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:03.560 The thing is, you're not you're a woman. You're a woman. 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:05.880 No, No, I just don't believe that men don't have 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:09.080 any self control. That's that's the myth that men all 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:10.760 other men so that they don't have to have it. 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:12.280 It's not a myth. It's not a myth. Because I'm 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:13.079 gonna tell you something. 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:16.120 I mean, I really I know that men are visual creatures, 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:19.720 and they supposedly think about sex more than women, and 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:22.760 you know, they require a lot less to go into 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:25.679 that sort of action than women do. But I also 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:28.440 think that there's this narrative that you're saying that I 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:30.720 think men pass on to other men. And then they're like, 0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:32.040 oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:34.840 The boys will be boys, you know. You you can 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:37.079 take a little kid, a little boy, say he's six 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:39.560 seven years old and he don't know nothing about sex, 0:09:39.600 --> 0:09:41.440 but he looks at a girl like look at that, 0:09:41.559 --> 0:09:43.959 look at her? He just looked. You know, that's just 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:47.840 it's it's your nature. It's what it is. And it's 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:49.520 just like we were the golf, of course, guys playing 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:52.160 golf and guys and man and I got a good woman. 0:09:52.160 --> 0:09:54.440 I don't know what name. Hell I was messing un 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:57.400 what the hell am I doing? I mean, you question 0:09:57.559 --> 0:09:59.520 yourself and I'm telling. 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:01.680 You doing crazy? 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:04.920 Dad is you still do it? And it's not that 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:08.680 it's not that you you disappointed in yourself for doing 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:11.080 you really are, But like I said, you can never 0:10:11.240 --> 0:10:13.760 understand it because you're not a man. It's like me 0:10:13.840 --> 0:10:16.480 thinking about being a woman. I mean, I'll never know 0:10:16.520 --> 0:10:17.920 what it's like to be a woman. I never know 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:20.160 it's like to carry a baby. And we can talk 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:21.880 about it like you can have a man that said 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:24.520 transgender and he said, oh, it's my baby, I'm trying 0:10:24.559 --> 0:10:26.760 to breast free. He ain't no mama, he don't know 0:10:26.800 --> 0:10:29.320 what that's like. That's not being a real mother. So 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:31.560 it's not like we want to. And I'm like saying, 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:33.360 I don't say, oh men, don't she that's that's not 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:35.600 true every man. That's not cheat. But most of them do. 0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:39.400 And sometimes it's not even they do it purposely. Women 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:42.319 are so aggressive these days, and they were aggressive back 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:45.160 in my day, but this day, man, all you can do. 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:48.320 My cousin, they played in the league, Ricky, I won't forget. 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:50.800 We were in super Bowl in Minnesota. This is bou 0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:53.800 just seven eight, seven years ago, and I'm like, what 0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:55.679 you're doing. Say, I'm on my phone looking at the girls. 0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:58.200 I'm like, what girls we show them? Like, what the 0:10:58.280 --> 0:10:58.920 hell is that? 0:10:59.360 --> 0:10:59.560 You know? 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:02.320 I think it was tender or something like that. Tender. 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:06.040 And the thing is, he said she gonna come over. 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:08.920 I'm like, come over, Well, she coming over here? I'm like, 0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:11.600 what I mean? It's that he said, Man, ever gets 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:14.800 so easy, and I mean I had no no offense, 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:19.520 but not all that. It's good women out there, really 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:24.240 good women, but a lot of women a whrse. I'm 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:25.720 serious they hoard themselves. 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:26.079 They do. 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.560 I mean, I mean, I'm just gonna say, when you 0:11:28.600 --> 0:11:30.240 get it, when you get out there and showing your 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:34.400 titties and you know, I'm showing, I'm shaking it up 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:43.520 and you know all that kind of what I'm saying. 0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:45.720 But I'm not saying. I'm saying, not every woman. It's 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:49.040 like a woman that dresses very provocative, very provocative, but there, 0:11:49.120 --> 0:11:51.760 but she's not a whore. She might dress like that, 0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:54.360 she might even act like that a little bit, but 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:56.520 she's not that person. And I know some girls just 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:58.520 like that that. I can think of a girl in 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:00.920 particularly in my mind. Man, I a Latin girl that 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:04.160 I was liked, and she looked like that, but she 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:06.360 was not that kind of girl. She was very classy. 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:10.520 She dressed classy. Yeah, she dancing on its sexy. But no, 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:13.160 I mean, I won't forget one time we kissed a 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:15.160 car for like two hours, like over my lips in it. 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:18.480 I mean, I go to touch it. No Poppy, no Poppy, 0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:24.400 I'm like, Lord, have mercy. So anyway, you know, it's 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:27.360 women make it. Women make it really easy for men. 0:12:27.440 --> 0:12:31.600 I mean, so, I mean, most like the marriages are 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:34.559 gone down because we don't have to get married. I mean, 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:39.880 you got multiple. I mean, look, I love women. I 0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:42.840 mean I love women, and I respect a good woman. 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:45.440 And what I mean saying that, that's like saying every 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:47.120 woman is not a good woman. That's like saying every 0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:49.480 mom is a good mom, every dad is a good dad, 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:52.320 every child's a good jet child. That doesn't work like that. 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:54.240 That's not life is I mean, you know who you 0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:56.160 are inside. You know who you are. I mean, you 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:57.160 know what you will do and you know what you 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:58.960 want to do. I mean I've had girls, you know, 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:01.959 when I was younger. You know, I can't believe I'm 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:04.200 down there giving you a blow me either, But don't stop. 0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:06.880 You got a boyfriend, and you got a boyfriend at home. 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:09.439 I mean, that's what I'm saying. I know the things 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:12.680 that girls will do. I'm not me and I'm just saying. 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:14.040 I mean, I mean, I'm being one hundred. 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:15.400 I mean, like I said, I want to believe that 0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:17.079 the women are waking up and. 0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:19.280 Have more self you know, some I hope some women 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:19.640 do that. 0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:22.640 There's a I think there's definitely more women than maybe 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:27.240 in your day of Hodem. There's there's horse all over 0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:27.600 the world. 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:31.920 Let's be the male horse female horse. You got to 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:32.600 make each other horse. 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:35.480 Man can't man really, man can't be a hole, he's 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:36.559 just he'd just be horrish. 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:38.240 A man can't be a hole. 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:43.559 He could be horrish. I mean, okay, let's see. 0:13:43.360 --> 0:13:44.319 We're starting here. 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:49.080 Okay, A man, a man, a man. Let me let 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:51.240 me say this, mis put like this here. Okay, let's 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:53.839 let's use a man. A girl will be like girl. 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:55.760 He ain't no but a big old hole. You know 0:13:55.800 --> 0:13:59.120 I would navi date him. Next thing you see? Oh 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:00.560 he ain't that. Ain't that bad? 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:00.880 Girl? 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:04.160 You know I like him? Okay, Now let's take a woman. 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:07.800 You see a woman, she good looking? Yeah, man, you 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:10.160 know everybody hitting that, I'm gonna hit it, but I 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:12.520 ain't gonna be damping to be seen with her like that. 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:18.320 I ain't trying to marry her. But somebody would, but 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:21.400 mostly not high valued men, not men that want a 0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:23.760 woman with some value. And that's what you want. You 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:28.560 don't want to walk into a bar or an establishment. 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:32.120 And I can say this has happened. When a girl 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:34.960 was there with another player that I knew. I'd introduced 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:39.040 him to her, and I told him don't fall in love. 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:40.960 That's what I told her, don't fall in love because 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:44.120 I know she was a hope. What does he do? 0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:48.080 He started dating the whole, he married the whole. Guy said, man, 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:50.320 why are you telling myself? I told him I can't 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:57.360 make him. Maybe she's a housewife. Now she was just 0:14:57.480 --> 0:15:01.600 what what hey, I tiger is a tiger. He is 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:03.920 not a monkey. You know. 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:06.240 I think there's there are women you're right there, like 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:10.760 appear like they are scantily clothed. Maybe they look they 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:13.080 dressed a certain part or show up a certain part. 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:15.720 But there's like an essence of a real whore, Like 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:19.080 that's a whole, Like there's a there's like an essence 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:22.520 of like a dirty, dirty cheap anybody can get it. 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:24.840 That is like a way in which you carry yourself. 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:26.880 There's an energy in which you carry yourself. It's like 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:29.200 a bitch might be a whore, might be promiscuous, but 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:30.920 she is a class about her. So you wouldn't know 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:33.840 from just walking down the street. But there's certain bitches 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:36.000 on the street. I'd be like that bitch sucks. 0:15:36.440 --> 0:15:38.240 You got me. You said it right, because I give 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:39.680 I give a good example. A matter of fact, a 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:41.720 friend of mine. He came to an event with a 0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:46.520 girl and I'm like, damn, she had a nice dress, 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:51.520 pretty nice halfstyle. I say, that's a stripper. I can tell, 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:52.240 I can tell. 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:53.400 I don't know why. 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:55.920 I said, I ain't gonna see his name. I said, 0:15:56.480 --> 0:15:59.240 it's a stripple, you know, I said, I don't. It's 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:00.080 just something about. 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:02.280 There is something about certain strippers. 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:04.120 You could take them out the club. But you can 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:04.720 see the shipper. 0:16:04.880 --> 0:16:07.880 You can see. You can tell she had just walked in. 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:09.360 But she didn't make nothing. 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:11.240 I'm like, she said she had nice hair. 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:14.600 It just looks like I want to take my clothes off. 0:16:14.640 --> 0:16:18.320 So you're saying, Dad, that you don't think that hose 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:20.520 could be reformed. 0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:22.760 I don't want to turn the hole into a housewife. 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:24.560 I mean, I'm be honest with you, and it's just 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:27.080 be one hundred. I'll never forget my grandfather. You knew 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:31.720 my grandfather, Papa Horse. We're sitting out on the porch 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:35.480 one day and uh, this lady passed by. He said 0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:37.360 he stop, stop stop stopped having to call she stopped, 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:39.280 stop stopping. He said, hey, hey horse, how you doing, Hey, 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:41.440 how you doing? Blah blah, blah, say he was always 0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:43.600 proud of me. Hey this that grand my grandson every day, 0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:46.200 that football player like that, I said, pop boy, stop, 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:48.160 he said, how you doing? She pulls off. I'll never 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:51.560 forget that. He's eighty years old, he said. He looked 0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:54.400 at me, say said him right there, boy, she was 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:59.200 a hole in her day. Papa horse, he said. She 0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:01.440 liked that step you like, I'm like what you called it, 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:03.520 blow you up, tugging on you. He said that she 0:17:03.680 --> 0:17:05.080 likes I'm like Papa hoys. 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:08.200 Come on that stuff you like not eighty years old. 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:10.960 Yeah, I'm just so. I mean, you know, no one, 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:15.280 no man, No, I say it again, no high valued man. 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:16.880 What is a high valued man? 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:19.000 High valued man is a man that has a career, 0:17:19.119 --> 0:17:21.040 has stuff going on and nothing and not to be rich. 0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:24.280 You know, he has he has something he's trying to accomplish, 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:26.920 he wants. He'll make a good husband. He might not. 0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:29.160 You always fay, you make a good a good family man. 0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:32.640 You might not be faithful, but that's not a requirements. 0:17:33.560 --> 0:17:36.400 Let's just say said, most men that make a whole 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:38.160 lot of money, I'm gonna put it like that make 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.399 a lot of money, are not going to be faithful 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:42.639 because they gonna you know, I'm in football, we have 0:17:42.720 --> 0:17:46.600 a saying you as faithful as your options because players, 0:17:46.640 --> 0:17:49.480 and I'm gonna say players, athletes, actors, you have a 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:51.720 lot of options. Some guys you don't go down to 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:54.680 mess around, but you got girls like it's always one, 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:58.280 like damn, look at that one, right, It's just that 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:01.520 one sometime that get your answer. Y'all make the eye contact. 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:04.400 And like I said again, I'm not saying it's right 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:07.200 by no means. I'm just telling you facts. And that's 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:09.600 as a man I mean, and I'm an older man. 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:12.159 Men ain't changed this. This has been going on since 0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:17.240 the beginning of the time. They gonna pick them, they 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:20.280 gonna pick one, all of them. All men won't but 0:18:20.280 --> 0:18:23.240 a lot of me and they gonna lie. 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:26.080 And this is why my daddy never had no remorse 0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:27.760 for me. When I be like, you cheated on me, 0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:29.359 he'd be like, oh, that's. 0:18:32.160 --> 0:18:33.080 Should I sayd He be. 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:38.760 Like what now, Like okay, well, I'm sorry up. 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:43.200 I mean, and you know, you know check it out. 0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:46.000 You you you you're women. Y'all want that bad boy 0:18:46.680 --> 0:18:48.159 you do it, and it's be honest. You want that 0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:50.240 bad boy. You don't want that guy that that's the 0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:53.840 good old guy that you know, just a good he's 0:18:53.880 --> 0:18:59.399 a good, good guy. I can't say a name. But 0:18:59.520 --> 0:19:02.119 my friend and she got up. She had a boyfriend 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:06.159 not long ago, and I said, how's going. She said, Oh, 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:10.919 he's such a nice guy. He say, but man, he 0:19:11.080 --> 0:19:15.440 be sending me flowers, be sending me poems every day, 0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:17.800 you know, be timmy. I mean, she loved him like 0:19:18.000 --> 0:19:20.720 I just can't take it. I'm like, I'm like, what's 0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:23.600 wrong with that? I said, you know what, you need 0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:26.399 a real nigga, don't you. She said yeah. I said see, 0:19:26.600 --> 0:19:33.840 I said, Now he'll say, oh she's older. That's what 0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:35.960 I'm trying to say. Y'all want that, y'all, y'all want 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:38.800 that bad boy and a good boy, a good guy 0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:40.800 and one. And I mean, don't get me, it can 0:19:40.880 --> 0:19:43.920 happen like that. But most real males. 0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:45.280 What what are you? 0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:47.240 I mean? I was I was at Apple, I was 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:50.080 that guy. I used to be that guy, a real nigga. 0:19:50.119 --> 0:19:52.560 But write no poetry, write no poetry. 0:19:52.600 --> 0:19:55.439 I ain't got nobody write no poetry, no poetry. 0:19:55.480 --> 0:19:55.720 You know what. 0:19:55.800 --> 0:19:57.440 Let me tell you something. I had a rap game 0:19:57.520 --> 0:19:59.440 back in the day. You know, I could I could 0:19:59.480 --> 0:19:59.840 rap back. 0:20:06.480 --> 0:20:09.000 You know, we might have to run my dad's rap 0:20:09.280 --> 0:20:11.479 moment at the end of this episode. We may have 0:20:11.560 --> 0:20:14.119 to we might have to run that music. But what's 0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:15.119 your what's your line? 0:20:15.160 --> 0:20:15.240 Like? 0:20:15.480 --> 0:20:17.600 Would you say to Rihann like, what's up? Baby? Like 0:20:18.560 --> 0:20:19.600 what you're spending over there? 0:20:19.760 --> 0:20:24.280 I don't remember? But how you doing? I'm good? I'm like, 0:20:24.600 --> 0:20:27.040 what's your name? My name is Ran? I said, my 0:20:27.119 --> 0:20:27.640 name is Eric. 0:20:27.760 --> 0:20:29.760 You know, Okay, stop, I know I don't want I 0:20:29.760 --> 0:20:36.280 don't need to be here for this. You picked the 0:20:36.320 --> 0:20:40.760 smooth boys. He thinks I was already enough at dinner. 0:20:42.560 --> 0:20:46.080 You know, this brings us, I think to our bad 0:20:46.160 --> 0:20:49.040 choice of the week because I have some questions, because 0:20:49.320 --> 0:20:51.600 do you bitches really just want a bad boy? 0:20:52.000 --> 0:20:53.560 Can we settle with a good guy? 0:20:53.720 --> 0:20:53.800 Like? 0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:57.760 Is that our problem? Because I think I don't know. 0:20:59.359 --> 0:20:59.560 Mom? 0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:03.080 But Mom so good? 0:21:10.600 --> 0:21:12.240 So should I read this bad choice? To read it? 0:21:12.320 --> 0:21:13.720 Do you, daddy? Do you have any bad choices of 0:21:13.720 --> 0:21:14.000 the week? 0:21:14.640 --> 0:21:19.439 The weeks? Yes started days two and I ain't got 0:21:19.480 --> 0:21:21.280 no bad jo, no bad choice. 0:21:21.359 --> 0:21:22.119 All right, Well, let me. 0:21:22.119 --> 0:21:24.760 Know I was younger yet I'd be a man bad choices. 0:21:26.840 --> 0:21:29.959 Okay, Dear Erica and Jamila. First of all, thank you. 0:21:30.000 --> 0:21:32.520 I've listened to your podcast and loved you both over 0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:35.440 the past few years. Honestly, your episodes bring me joy, validation, 0:21:35.560 --> 0:21:39.120 and laughs. I'm a full stay at home mom creating 0:21:39.119 --> 0:21:40.920 my own business on the side, so all the joy 0:21:40.920 --> 0:21:48.720 you bring is so needed and appreciated, and I relate 0:21:48.720 --> 0:21:50.720 to you both so much. Being the spiritual thirty seven 0:21:50.800 --> 0:21:52.960 year old we'd smoking black mama that I am. I 0:21:53.000 --> 0:21:55.680 have two small kids under five and a white man, 0:21:56.280 --> 0:21:59.400 so there's that. In fact, my relationship is what led 0:21:59.440 --> 0:22:02.960 me to the bad choice of the week. I text 0:22:03.040 --> 0:22:05.520 an X then met up with him the next day. 0:22:05.680 --> 0:22:08.480 Nothing happened physically between us. We just chatted and smoked 0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:12.040 together like we always do. We always used to. We 0:22:12.040 --> 0:22:13.840 were always good friends, and it was so nice to 0:22:13.840 --> 0:22:16.600 have that moment again. My life has just become cooking 0:22:16.640 --> 0:22:18.880 and cleaning and putting everyone else first for the past 0:22:18.920 --> 0:22:21.520 five years, and I've been feeling so depleted. I feel 0:22:21.520 --> 0:22:24.520 so understimulated in my current relationship. I'm such a deep 0:22:24.560 --> 0:22:27.480 thinker and love connecting through conversation. I want to feel 0:22:27.480 --> 0:22:29.359 like my man can teach me something and I just 0:22:29.400 --> 0:22:31.119 don't want and I just don't have that with my 0:22:31.160 --> 0:22:33.800 current partner. We haven't had sex in nearly a year 0:22:33.800 --> 0:22:35.560 and a half, and I've been telling him for a 0:22:35.600 --> 0:22:38.520 long time how unhappy I am. I text my ex 0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:40.680 because I've missed him as a friend and the deep, 0:22:40.720 --> 0:22:43.600 interesting conversations we used to have. I've just felt so 0:22:43.720 --> 0:22:46.080 done in my current relationship. I had a dumb moment 0:22:46.119 --> 0:22:48.640 of impulse that I was aware of and still said 0:22:48.680 --> 0:22:51.280 fuck it. It's feeling more and more like a bad 0:22:51.359 --> 0:22:54.920 choice because since seeing him, I've been reminded of how 0:22:54.960 --> 0:22:57.359 seen and sexy I felt with him in my life. 0:22:57.520 --> 0:22:59.480 It's like since last week, I've gotten a part of 0:22:59.480 --> 0:23:03.200 myself back that feels positive and inspired again. However, that's 0:23:03.240 --> 0:23:04.960 making me want to see him again, and the thought 0:23:04.960 --> 0:23:06.560 of being sexual has crossed my mind. 0:23:06.600 --> 0:23:06.840 Now. 0:23:07.080 --> 0:23:10.200 I feel so trapped in my relationship. Financially, he couldn't 0:23:10.240 --> 0:23:12.560 afford to live separate from us and his family are 0:23:12.600 --> 0:23:16.159 far away. Plus he said he won't leave living with 0:23:16.240 --> 0:23:20.880 his kids. Girl, Sometimes I am to you, buddy right. 0:23:21.600 --> 0:23:24.119 In the past, I've suggested we open up the relationship, 0:23:24.119 --> 0:23:26.080 but he won't have it. I'm just feeling like, what 0:23:26.119 --> 0:23:28.600 the fuck did I do? And it was probably a 0:23:28.640 --> 0:23:31.520 bad choice. I don't want to have an affair and 0:23:31.600 --> 0:23:34.800 cheat on him, or would you consider it cheating. Would 0:23:34.800 --> 0:23:36.440 love to hear your thoughts if you get a chance, 0:23:37.119 --> 0:23:40.440 Love you a whole lot, Anonymous. 0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:43.840 You didn't hear this from me, But if you ain't 0:23:43.840 --> 0:23:45.200 got no dick in a year and a half and 0:23:45.280 --> 0:23:48.919 the dick right laying right next to you, and you 0:23:49.000 --> 0:23:50.800 told the nigger, hey, what's up with that dick? 0:23:51.720 --> 0:23:52.160 Right boy? 0:23:52.760 --> 0:23:55.800 Three times five times, you might be well. 0:23:55.640 --> 0:23:57.520 Within your rights to go get that oother dick that's 0:23:57.520 --> 0:24:00.600 on the table. Also to the men, to the men, 0:24:02.200 --> 0:24:05.320 once your woman has a baby, do not just look 0:24:05.359 --> 0:24:08.080 at her as a milk cow and a maid and 0:24:08.119 --> 0:24:11.440 a chef, because that's the easiest way for a bitch 0:24:11.480 --> 0:24:12.119 to get bored. 0:24:12.480 --> 0:24:13.760 Don't want another niggas here. 0:24:13.920 --> 0:24:17.679 She's going to be contemplating doing some other shit because 0:24:18.840 --> 0:24:22.000 women need to feel seen outside of motherhood. So if 0:24:22.040 --> 0:24:24.560 you think she's happy over there and you ain't sucked 0:24:24.560 --> 0:24:26.440 on a titty or put it in in a year 0:24:26.440 --> 0:24:28.320 and a half, your tripping. 0:24:30.640 --> 0:24:33.240 I mean, I get it. I mean I can relate 0:24:33.280 --> 0:24:35.800 to this story because when I was in my relationship. 0:24:35.880 --> 0:24:40.000 I felt super unseen and bored and unsexual. It was 0:24:40.040 --> 0:24:41.639 my fault though I was not. I didn't want to 0:24:41.640 --> 0:24:43.680 give nothing to him because I was like, nah, no thanks, 0:24:43.760 --> 0:24:46.720 I don't trust you and I'm not into it. And 0:24:47.080 --> 0:24:51.040 I remember, I knew I sought out somebody just like 0:24:51.119 --> 0:24:54.479 her who I knew. I knew I could get easily. 0:24:55.080 --> 0:24:58.040 I knew would be just enthralled just the fact that 0:24:58.040 --> 0:25:00.840 I'm in his presence. And I went and I felt 0:25:01.359 --> 0:25:05.359 good until I didn't feel good. That's another story. I 0:25:05.720 --> 0:25:09.399 recall the story, but I understand like that feeling of 0:25:09.480 --> 0:25:12.760 like excitement after having an experience like that, where you 0:25:12.800 --> 0:25:14.639 go home and you're like, damn, this is not what 0:25:14.720 --> 0:25:19.920 I signed up for. So in my opinion, I'm never 0:25:19.960 --> 0:25:27.520 gonna advocate for cheating, but do what feels good to you. 0:25:27.600 --> 0:25:31.440 But if you cheat, it's the beginning of the end. Yeah, 0:25:31.440 --> 0:25:33.439 if you cheat, just know it's probably the beginning of 0:25:33.480 --> 0:25:36.520 the end. I don't know how long you can't that 0:25:36.600 --> 0:25:36.920 you can't. 0:25:36.960 --> 0:25:39.080 You can't sheat that feeling. You can't undo that feeling 0:25:39.119 --> 0:25:40.120 that you're gonna get and on. 0:25:40.080 --> 0:25:42.560 Board your relationship now that you've peeked out and saw 0:25:42.600 --> 0:25:43.600 that it could be something else. 0:25:43.760 --> 0:25:45.679 You're gonna go home and be fun, or maybe you 0:25:45.720 --> 0:25:47.720 need to threaten him a little bit and tell him 0:25:47.720 --> 0:25:48.280 what happened. 0:25:50.040 --> 0:25:52.720 You're gonna get the bitch beat. 0:25:53.000 --> 0:25:56.440 I'm just saying, like I've got a little you gotta 0:25:56.480 --> 0:25:57.080 make up a lie. 0:25:57.160 --> 0:25:59.440 Like you saw somebody at a store not your ex, 0:25:59.600 --> 0:26:02.520 and they were trying to hit on you, and you 0:26:02.640 --> 0:26:04.720 were like, oh damn, I still got it. Don't say 0:26:04.760 --> 0:26:06.440 you went and had dinner with your ex. Don't listen 0:26:06.440 --> 0:26:08.520 to Erica. Okay, we cannot be liable for that. 0:26:09.400 --> 0:26:13.679 I'm about transparency. Take it to the grave, daddy. What 0:26:13.680 --> 0:26:14.760 what's your what's your advice? 0:26:15.640 --> 0:26:19.439 Well, I'm gonna tell you one thing. A man, especially, 0:26:19.480 --> 0:26:20.760 I'm gonna say, an alpha male. 0:26:20.680 --> 0:26:22.600 He might be cheating on you already. Sorry, yeah, that's 0:26:22.640 --> 0:26:23.480 what my thought. 0:26:24.080 --> 0:26:28.440 He's sexual. I mean, you want you want some of that? 0:26:28.560 --> 0:26:30.160 I mean, and if you ain't getting it at home, 0:26:31.000 --> 0:26:33.560 not saying every guy you getting it somewhere. I mean. 0:26:33.800 --> 0:26:36.680 So I'm not saying I don't know this guy. I mean, 0:26:36.960 --> 0:26:39.159 but nine times out of ten, if you ain't having it, 0:26:39.160 --> 0:26:41.960 I mean, and most men they'll leave a woman like hey, 0:26:42.920 --> 0:26:47.280 I've told a girl before, I ain't got to get showed. 0:26:47.280 --> 0:26:49.280 You know what. You can hold it hostage, but I'm 0:26:49.280 --> 0:26:51.040 gonna give me some, you know, and they got to 0:26:51.080 --> 0:26:53.720 be yours, but I'm gonna give me some. I mean, 0:26:53.880 --> 0:26:58.240 so I don't say that, well a woman. Let me 0:26:58.280 --> 0:27:00.240 tell you something. When a woman goes and cheats, given 0:27:00.480 --> 0:27:02.720 than a man. And I say that for a couple 0:27:02.760 --> 0:27:05.840 of reasons, because a woman is a receiver. A woman, 0:27:05.880 --> 0:27:09.280 excused my mouth, is laying on her back, lord, but 0:27:09.800 --> 0:27:12.720 it is what it is. You can't get around it. 0:27:13.040 --> 0:27:15.640 A woman's laying on her back necessarily, all right. She's 0:27:15.680 --> 0:27:17.119 on her knees. She's on her knees. 0:27:17.240 --> 0:27:19.639 You could be you could be sitting on top. 0:27:20.200 --> 0:27:22.040 Mom standing, you could be on top of you, but 0:27:22.080 --> 0:27:24.480 you still you're still getting something inserted in you. And 0:27:24.520 --> 0:27:27.719 a man can always he can wipe you off, but 0:27:27.760 --> 0:27:29.760 you can never wipe a man out of you. I mean, 0:27:29.760 --> 0:27:31.760 that's just that's a fact. I mean. And for a 0:27:31.760 --> 0:27:34.359 woman to cheat, like I said, women y'all cheat smarter 0:27:34.440 --> 0:27:36.080 than we do. Y'all do it. And when you cheat, 0:27:36.119 --> 0:27:38.920 you've thought about it a long time, really thought about it. 0:27:39.080 --> 0:27:41.880 Most women a good woman's gonna think about it before 0:27:41.920 --> 0:27:44.199 she just goes and goes and acts on that. And 0:27:44.240 --> 0:27:47.680 like you said, when you married and you go cheat, 0:27:48.080 --> 0:27:50.920 pretty much that relationship is pretty much you know, could 0:27:50.960 --> 0:27:54.560 be as fractured. It's done. Okay, Now you don't cheat 0:27:54.600 --> 0:27:57.040 it with this guy. Is this the guy you're gonna 0:27:57.040 --> 0:27:59.119 be with? Is that? If he is, he's got to 0:27:59.160 --> 0:28:00.840 wipe it home, because man gonna tell you what you 0:28:00.880 --> 0:28:02.880 want to hear. Oh baby, I'm so unhappy at home. 0:28:03.119 --> 0:28:04.840 You know, I don't have sex at home. I ain't 0:28:04.880 --> 0:28:07.159 getting nothing home. And then really he might be fucking 0:28:07.200 --> 0:28:10.200 the hell out of his wife, but you don't know that, 0:28:10.480 --> 0:28:11.879 you know. So he's gonna he gonna tell you what 0:28:12.200 --> 0:28:14.320 you want to hear. That's that's how men operate. That 0:28:14.359 --> 0:28:16.600 ain't changed at all. Young men and older men. They 0:28:16.680 --> 0:28:19.399 gonna tell you what you want to hear. So, like 0:28:19.440 --> 0:28:21.080 I said, when a woman goes and che she has 0:28:21.119 --> 0:28:23.840 to make the sure that this is what she wants 0:28:23.880 --> 0:28:26.840 to do and what comes along with it. I mean, 0:28:27.080 --> 0:28:29.399 because if the man leaves, Now, when you buy yourself, 0:28:29.400 --> 0:28:31.520 but vice versa, I mean that goes, that goes for 0:28:31.600 --> 0:28:33.600 man too, That goes both ways because you got a 0:28:33.640 --> 0:28:36.399 good woman and she leaves. Now you lost a good woman. 0:28:36.960 --> 0:28:39.000 And now I got to go out here and try 0:28:39.040 --> 0:28:43.760 to mess around these holes you're doing to say, you're 0:28:43.800 --> 0:28:44.520 doing the same thing. 0:28:44.680 --> 0:28:45.400 Wait, what'd you say? 0:28:45.400 --> 0:28:47.320 What was the story you said before we started about 0:28:47.360 --> 0:28:50.960 your friend who you read something and she was born? 0:28:51.000 --> 0:28:53.680 Oh yeah, I saw. I listened to his own TikTok, 0:28:53.800 --> 0:28:55.480 lady said. She said, let me tell you something. I 0:28:55.880 --> 0:28:57.560 listen to his damn friends of yours. She said, I'm 0:28:57.560 --> 0:29:00.760 gonna tell you I had. She's just just some like this, lady. 0:29:01.120 --> 0:29:03.880 I had a husband, good husband, good husband. You know, 0:29:04.240 --> 0:29:06.120 we wasn't in love like that no more. You know 0:29:06.200 --> 0:29:07.920 the sex one. You know, it was just all right. 0:29:08.280 --> 0:29:10.440 And my friends be going out and having drinks. And 0:29:10.640 --> 0:29:11.880 you need to get rid of him, to go and 0:29:11.920 --> 0:29:13.840 divorce him. She said, what do my dumb ass do. 0:29:14.400 --> 0:29:17.080 I listen to him, I go get divorced. She said, 0:29:17.160 --> 0:29:20.240 we were cool. She said, what does he do? Go 0:29:20.240 --> 0:29:23.000 buy him a brand new house, got him a nice wife. 0:29:23.320 --> 0:29:24.880 He said, you know what's happening to me? He said, 0:29:24.880 --> 0:29:26.480 These niggas out there jumping him and down on me. 0:29:26.560 --> 0:29:28.920 Now I ain't got nobody, you know, going from bed 0:29:29.000 --> 0:29:31.720 to bed. That is that what you want? Because let 0:29:31.760 --> 0:29:33.400 me tell you something, when you and your when your 0:29:33.440 --> 0:29:36.320 twenties and maybe your thirties, doing that kind of stuff, 0:29:36.320 --> 0:29:39.800 your the early thirties. But now I say you thirty five, 0:29:39.960 --> 0:29:43.960 forty years old, forty two, you use goods, you ain't 0:29:43.960 --> 0:29:45.880 finna get no good man, You ain't finna get. 0:29:45.880 --> 0:29:48.680 Bad forty two. Damn, I'm mirroring there. 0:29:49.640 --> 0:29:53.800 Listen, listen, but listen what I'm saying. I'm not finished. 0:29:54.280 --> 0:29:57.000 You've got You've got, you've got two or three kids, 0:29:57.040 --> 0:29:59.920 but sometimes two or three daddies. That's the that's the difference. 0:30:00.160 --> 0:30:02.760 You think a good you think a good quality man 0:30:02.840 --> 0:30:04.600 wants a woman with two or three kids. 0:30:04.600 --> 0:30:08.000 Maybe, just so you know, father, this podcast has a 0:30:08.040 --> 0:30:11.720 lot of moms saying that perhaps that story right now, 0:30:11.920 --> 0:30:16.560 and I think it's Valentine and I'm here to tell you, hey, hey, hey, 0:30:16.600 --> 0:30:19.440 you bitch, listen. Don't listen to him. He don't know. 0:30:21.320 --> 0:30:22.080 Don't listen to him. 0:30:22.240 --> 0:30:25.720 Plenty of bitches five men with two three kids. Plenty 0:30:25.760 --> 0:30:27.680 bitches get married with two three kids. 0:30:27.760 --> 0:30:30.440 You know what? I agree with that, Jamila, that's true. 0:30:30.600 --> 0:30:34.160 But how rare is that that's a rarity that doesn't 0:30:34.160 --> 0:30:36.680 happen every day. I mean, that just doesn't. That's like, 0:30:36.760 --> 0:30:40.920 that's like a woman dating a guy with no legs. 0:30:40.960 --> 0:30:42.880 It's a rarity that he gets a beautiful white a 0:30:42.960 --> 0:30:44.360 woman that that happens. 0:30:44.400 --> 0:30:46.400 I don't think it's as rare as you think. Maybe 0:30:46.400 --> 0:30:47.800 it's just rare to your circle. 0:30:48.040 --> 0:30:52.600 No it's not. It's rare to a good quality man, 0:30:52.760 --> 0:30:54.200 or a good quality that. 0:30:54.240 --> 0:30:56.680 Same quality man might also have two to three kids. 0:30:56.720 --> 0:30:58.320 Okay, now, now that's what I was gonna say. Do 0:30:58.360 --> 0:31:01.719 you think do you think a hot woman. 0:31:01.120 --> 0:31:02.440 You know, like Kevin Samiel's right? 0:31:02.440 --> 0:31:04.440 Now, Hey, I'm just saying what I'm saying. I mean, 0:31:04.480 --> 0:31:07.000 you know, you know I'm not you know what I'm 0:31:07.040 --> 0:31:09.840 talking from from from from man experience. I'm not talking 0:31:09.880 --> 0:31:11.960 about why somebody told me. I'm telling what I know. 0:31:12.440 --> 0:31:15.720 I mean, even though a high valued woman woman this 0:31:15.880 --> 0:31:18.000 guy got it going on, got her own house, her 0:31:18.000 --> 0:31:20.680 own job, making her own money. You know, she she'd 0:31:20.840 --> 0:31:24.200 like you. But you got four different four baby mamas. 0:31:25.480 --> 0:31:28.720 I'm doing it, thank you. What would you do you like? 0:31:29.640 --> 0:31:32.080 I'm not saying baby mom, I'm saying, like, even okay, 0:31:32.080 --> 0:31:33.640 whether you have, However many. 0:31:34.640 --> 0:31:36.560 I'm putting on a man chap. I'm saying, a man, 0:31:38.200 --> 0:31:42.720 I'm let me ask your question, would you was you 0:31:42.800 --> 0:31:46.040 rather the man with no kids or even one kid, 0:31:46.200 --> 0:31:47.800 but posted a man with three? How about that with 0:31:47.880 --> 0:31:51.280 no kids? A post a man with three kids. You go, 0:31:51.320 --> 0:31:52.480 that's the difference. That's what I'm saying. 0:31:52.600 --> 0:31:53.360 That's what I'm saying. 0:31:53.480 --> 0:31:55.320 There's nothing wrong with a woman having children. I'm not 0:31:55.360 --> 0:31:59.600 saying that nothing at all. It's good women out there 0:31:59.600 --> 0:32:02.480 with keep don't take this wrong. It's some really good 0:32:02.480 --> 0:32:05.760 women out there that have two kids, sometimes three kids. 0:32:06.040 --> 0:32:13.040 But men, good quality men, you know, they want that 0:32:13.120 --> 0:32:15.760 new product, they want that new one. 0:32:16.480 --> 0:32:18.880 This is I'm not saying that this is not true, 0:32:18.920 --> 0:32:21.600 but I do think that it is true because society 0:32:21.960 --> 0:32:26.800 has built this, this programming that says that if women 0:32:27.360 --> 0:32:30.480 have multiple children and they move up out of a relationship, 0:32:30.600 --> 0:32:32.760 whether we're standing when they were getting that dick, if 0:32:32.760 --> 0:32:37.120 they're on their knees or on their back, they society 0:32:37.200 --> 0:32:40.400 tells us and tells men that women are less valuable 0:32:40.520 --> 0:32:43.920 after they've had kids, whereas men, Hella, men have two 0:32:44.040 --> 0:32:46.880 three kids with two three fucking baby mamas, and they 0:32:46.960 --> 0:32:49.320 marry when they fucking fifty and nobody. 0:32:49.080 --> 0:32:50.480 Wants they washed out bass anymore. 0:32:50.720 --> 0:32:51.520 But you don't. 0:32:51.880 --> 0:32:55.320 That's a social construct. I do believe, as there's women 0:32:55.320 --> 0:32:57.520 out there listening, I think a part of it has 0:32:57.560 --> 0:32:59.960 to be your mindset. If you believe that no one's 0:33:00.120 --> 0:33:02.719 gonna want you, that's what's gonna happen. But if you speak, 0:33:02.800 --> 0:33:05.640 and if you feel, and if you're confident, and also 0:33:06.000 --> 0:33:08.360 don't wait on these niggas, like if you're not happy, 0:33:08.400 --> 0:33:11.360 that's one thing, but don't don't leave a relationship in 0:33:11.440 --> 0:33:14.360 hopes that you're gonna come get swooped up by Superman, 0:33:14.960 --> 0:33:17.960 like you know, like you, I don't think anybody, man 0:33:18.080 --> 0:33:22.080 or female, should be their whole life's obsession should be 0:33:22.720 --> 0:33:25.880 necessarily partnership. I agree, And I think when you let 0:33:25.880 --> 0:33:28.040 that go and you accept you're the shit with or 0:33:28.080 --> 0:33:30.160 without a nigga or a bitch, with or with the 0:33:30.160 --> 0:33:32.320 two baby daddies or four baby daddies or whatever amount 0:33:32.320 --> 0:33:34.560 of kids you have accumulated. Because life be life, and 0:33:35.040 --> 0:33:37.680 if you know you're valuable, then you'll attract what's valuable. 0:33:37.840 --> 0:33:39.480 But if you think that there's no one out here 0:33:39.560 --> 0:33:41.800 and you're not valuable and you believe the lie and 0:33:41.840 --> 0:33:45.440 you eat the fucking pill, then you're not gonna find nobody. 0:33:46.080 --> 0:33:48.280 Oh, I'll say this to you. I'll say this when 0:33:48.320 --> 0:33:51.400 I was in my twenties, say, in my twenties playing football, 0:33:52.120 --> 0:33:54.320 and I met girls that had kids, and I met 0:33:54.400 --> 0:33:57.480 girls who didn't have kids, and I and I'm sure 0:33:57.520 --> 0:34:02.040 this has not changed, stealed the girls with the kids nice. 0:34:02.160 --> 0:34:03.760 I mean, I think a two girl, really nice girl, 0:34:03.800 --> 0:34:07.000 would have kids. I knew I wouldn't. That wouldn't going 0:34:07.000 --> 0:34:09.400 no well with me. For a fact. The girl they 0:34:09.400 --> 0:34:11.719 didn't have a kid, that had a that had a 0:34:11.800 --> 0:34:14.720 chance for sure. I mean, it's nothing against the one. 0:34:14.560 --> 0:34:15.919 Because this point, did you have a kid? 0:34:16.080 --> 0:34:17.719 I had no kids. I didn't have air, he says 0:34:17.719 --> 0:34:18.840 to my twin, I didn't have no kids. 0:34:19.120 --> 0:34:20.680 I mean, which is fair if you don't have kids 0:34:20.680 --> 0:34:21.960 and they don't have kids, and you want to experience 0:34:22.000 --> 0:34:23.880 that for the first time with somebody, that's a valid 0:34:24.360 --> 0:34:25.360 that's what I'm not dating. 0:34:25.400 --> 0:34:28.479 I mean, I know that this narrative is true because 0:34:28.480 --> 0:34:30.360 I've experienced it on the other I've been on the 0:34:30.400 --> 0:34:32.360 other side of that where a man literally told me 0:34:32.600 --> 0:34:35.800 he's not going to date me because I'm over thirty. 0:34:36.000 --> 0:34:38.000 I think I was like thirty three or something. I'm 0:34:38.040 --> 0:34:41.840 like over thirty one or something, and I have a kid, 0:34:42.080 --> 0:34:44.640 and I couldn't he said it to me. I was like, 0:34:44.880 --> 0:34:48.280 I couldn't believe it. I was like, why are you happened? 0:34:49.200 --> 0:34:51.040 But why do you keep going out to dinner with me? 0:34:51.160 --> 0:34:53.960 I mean, I'm great, right, I'm grateful that he did 0:34:53.960 --> 0:34:56.000 because you know, he didn't waste my time, you know, 0:34:56.160 --> 0:34:59.520 but nice with a nice white woman. Yeah. Yeah. 0:35:00.160 --> 0:35:02.440 But the problem is is that, Okay, let's say I 0:35:02.480 --> 0:35:04.040 do date to say I date the girl with the kids. 0:35:04.080 --> 0:35:06.600 Say I do date a girl with two kids, and 0:35:06.880 --> 0:35:09.640 we together and we have a nice relationship going we 0:35:09.760 --> 0:35:13.319 break up, all right, I have no offic and I've 0:35:13.320 --> 0:35:16.799 loved those kids. Now my bond with the kid, these 0:35:16.880 --> 0:35:19.600 my mama, These my kids. You can't tell me to do 0:35:19.760 --> 0:35:21.400 my kids. But I love I don't want you to 0:35:21.400 --> 0:35:24.799 see my kids no more. That's something. Then you tell me. 0:35:26.440 --> 0:35:28.040 A fact that all that's all. 0:35:28.080 --> 0:35:29.920 That's a fact. All that comes into the factor when 0:35:29.920 --> 0:35:31.920 you when you're talking about dating somebody, even a woman 0:35:32.000 --> 0:35:33.759 dating a man with a kid, it's the same thing 0:35:33.800 --> 0:35:36.120 because women are motherly. They meet a little girl, you 0:35:36.160 --> 0:35:37.600 got a little boy, and like, oh, I just love 0:35:37.680 --> 0:35:39.360 your little boy live and all of a sudden you 0:35:39.440 --> 0:35:41.400 break up with the girl. But she wants to see them. 0:35:41.440 --> 0:35:43.400 She wants to see the little boy. Little girl. Now 0:35:43.440 --> 0:35:44.719 you got a new girlfriend. I don't want that to 0:35:44.719 --> 0:35:47.080 be seeing me. That ain't coming over here, you know. 0:35:47.320 --> 0:35:49.840 I mean, I'm still friends with two of your axes 0:35:50.560 --> 0:35:53.800 from childhood. She one I ain't. I don't even know 0:35:53.800 --> 0:35:54.719 if you're talking to them no more. 0:35:55.000 --> 0:35:58.319 Yeah, which one? Uh? 0:35:58.320 --> 0:35:59.960 The only black woman I've ever saw you date? 0:36:00.080 --> 0:36:00.120 Know? 0:36:00.280 --> 0:36:03.799 Two? Well two of actually three only seen your day 0:36:03.800 --> 0:36:06.080 two black women me physically with my own eyes. 0:36:07.080 --> 0:36:08.640 I did a lot of women, tell you. 0:36:08.719 --> 0:36:11.600 Okay, So that's what I'm saying. But I'm just saying 0:36:11.640 --> 0:36:14.960 the two that I know of, and then your your 0:36:14.960 --> 0:36:18.040 ex fiance. Yeah, those those three, those are three ones 0:36:18.040 --> 0:36:20.239 that I say that Holly. 0:36:20.640 --> 0:36:22.759 Holly, I did. I did it, Holly for a long time, 0:36:22.760 --> 0:36:24.040 I did it. You didn't know when I did. I 0:36:24.040 --> 0:36:25.759 did Monique, I did a girl name run, I mean 0:36:25.760 --> 0:36:27.720 I did. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. 0:36:28.239 --> 0:36:30.360 I'm talking about Monique, Holly and Sarah. 0:36:30.400 --> 0:36:32.480 Yeah, I dated I dated. I did just I had 0:36:32.480 --> 0:36:35.600 the spectrum. I mean I didn't. I wouldn't expect I did. 0:36:35.680 --> 0:36:37.560 I didn't go look look like, oh she got to 0:36:37.600 --> 0:36:39.920 be white, blonde, blue. I mean that I'm not in 0:36:40.000 --> 0:36:41.560 I never really into the blonde thing. But you know 0:36:41.560 --> 0:36:44.160 when I hit it, Yeah, if you're good looking, I like, 0:36:44.640 --> 0:36:47.560 you know, sometimes the dark hair. You know, my my girl, 0:36:47.640 --> 0:36:48.920 now she got red hair. I mean I was never 0:36:48.920 --> 0:36:51.640 in the red hair. But you know, good person, I'm beautiful. 0:36:51.680 --> 0:36:54.279 I mean, so it's not what you might set out 0:36:54.280 --> 0:36:58.359 to date an Asian girl and wind up with a 0:36:58.400 --> 0:37:01.120 black woman. 0:37:00.120 --> 0:37:01.759 That you may set out to date a woman who 0:37:01.800 --> 0:37:05.400 has no kids. And then I say that all to 0:37:05.440 --> 0:37:07.680 say is that, like, yeah, it is true that like 0:37:07.920 --> 0:37:11.120 those women developed a relationship with me, and it was 0:37:11.360 --> 0:37:14.359 heartbreaking for them on the other side of that, not 0:37:14.400 --> 0:37:16.880 being a man in dating a woman with children, but 0:37:16.880 --> 0:37:19.200 as a woman dating a man with children, for them 0:37:19.239 --> 0:37:21.080 to now be like, oh, I guess I can't be 0:37:21.120 --> 0:37:23.920 in this person's life anymore, you know, And so and. 0:37:23.880 --> 0:37:26.360 Holly still talks to see how to still talks about. 0:37:26.160 --> 0:37:33.080 You your best friends to this stay, I think to 0:37:33.320 --> 0:37:36.200 like just going back to this question, this this bad 0:37:36.280 --> 0:37:40.080 choice before we move on. I think that, like so often, 0:37:40.120 --> 0:37:42.480 will number to go back to this question and to 0:37:42.520 --> 0:37:45.920 what you said about this TikTok. People getting advice from 0:37:45.960 --> 0:37:47.839 people that are not in relationships that I haven't been 0:37:47.840 --> 0:37:50.920 in relationships that I have never really been in healthy relationships, 0:37:51.160 --> 0:37:53.600 I think is rarely can be dangerous and something that 0:37:53.600 --> 0:37:57.000 I thought about recently too, like asking people for asking 0:37:57.040 --> 0:38:00.960 advice from friends who I haven't seen in healthy relationships, 0:38:01.680 --> 0:38:03.920 or like the other day I needed advice, I was like, 0:38:03.960 --> 0:38:05.799 who do I call? I called my married friend. I 0:38:05.840 --> 0:38:08.120 was like, one who's been married for a long time, 0:38:08.520 --> 0:38:10.520 that is a seasoned parent. I was like, I need 0:38:10.560 --> 0:38:13.439 to ask her because she's been through this before. I'm 0:38:13.440 --> 0:38:16.279 not going to ask somebody who like, is new in 0:38:16.320 --> 0:38:20.320 a relationship and and maybe is just in a season 0:38:20.320 --> 0:38:23.680 of finally feeling safe in her relationship. And then secondly, 0:38:24.239 --> 0:38:27.879 I think a lot of relationships end because we as 0:38:29.040 --> 0:38:31.319 men and women haven't been taught how to communicate. We 0:38:31.320 --> 0:38:33.600 haven't been taught how to really communicate our needs. We 0:38:33.640 --> 0:38:35.600 think that we're communicating our needs, but we're not speaking 0:38:35.640 --> 0:38:39.160 the language of our partner, or we're not putting into 0:38:39.160 --> 0:38:40.960 practice the things we say we're going to change, Like 0:38:41.000 --> 0:38:42.680 we'd be like, oh yeah, yea, yeah, okay, we're gonna try, 0:38:42.680 --> 0:38:45.040 we're gonna do that, and then we don't. So then 0:38:45.080 --> 0:38:48.640 now we're back washing dishes, we're back feeding the kids, 0:38:48.840 --> 0:38:52.120 and he's back not fucking his girl. You know. Like 0:38:52.400 --> 0:38:55.600 I think that there's like a like a commitment beyond 0:38:56.280 --> 0:38:59.480 just that we're married, like the commitment of like there 0:38:59.520 --> 0:39:03.080 will be seasons where there might be a five year 0:39:03.120 --> 0:39:05.920 stint where like we are not happy, but do we 0:39:06.000 --> 0:39:07.960 need to leave each other or is there space for 0:39:08.080 --> 0:39:10.759 us to figure something like figure it out. But a 0:39:10.800 --> 0:39:12.480 lot of times people don't figure it out because they 0:39:12.480 --> 0:39:13.920 don't have the tools. They don't have the like they 0:39:13.920 --> 0:39:15.920 don't know what to do or what to say. And 0:39:15.960 --> 0:39:17.919 so then that relationship is over and now you're out 0:39:18.520 --> 0:39:21.000 in a new relationship and your husband is now buying 0:39:21.000 --> 0:39:23.120 a house for a new wife and is happily married. 0:39:23.280 --> 0:39:25.120 Yeah, I mean think about it is when you got 0:39:25.239 --> 0:39:28.359 you need a certain age. It's like a fifty five 0:39:28.440 --> 0:39:30.120 or sixty ye old woman trying to get out there 0:39:30.239 --> 0:39:32.560 and date. It's it's difficult. I mean, you can you can, 0:39:32.600 --> 0:39:34.680 you can say what you want to say, because an 0:39:34.719 --> 0:39:38.239 older man can get younger women and that's just acceptable. 0:39:39.120 --> 0:39:41.719 If you saw you not every older man, but but 0:39:41.719 --> 0:39:43.440 a lot of older men can. If you see a 0:39:43.520 --> 0:39:45.680 if you see a seventy five year old woman with 0:39:45.719 --> 0:39:48.319 a thirty five year old you're like, damn, what that 0:39:48.360 --> 0:39:51.640 looks stupid? Look crazy? I mean it really would. 0:39:51.680 --> 0:39:53.240 I see a seventy five year old man. 0:39:53.800 --> 0:39:56.200 But an older man with a young woman, it might 0:39:56.239 --> 0:39:58.200 look crazy, but you know the deal. Now that you 0:39:58.239 --> 0:39:59.960 know the deal, I mean, and that's just that's fine. 0:40:00.280 --> 0:40:03.600 I mean you might not want to believe it or 0:40:03.760 --> 0:40:06.359 say it's right or whatever, but that's just just how 0:40:06.440 --> 0:40:08.600 that's how the world is. And it's always been like that. 0:40:08.719 --> 0:40:12.520 I mean, you know, men, an older man can get 0:40:12.840 --> 0:40:15.040 a younger woman. I mean, and it's not a lot 0:40:15.080 --> 0:40:18.600 of You say you got an older man and he's say, 0:40:18.800 --> 0:40:20.680 like me, all right, I'm fifteen years old. In penny, 0:40:20.680 --> 0:40:23.279 I'm fifteen years old than her. I mean, and I'm 0:40:23.400 --> 0:40:25.000 just in good shape as she is. I mean, she's 0:40:25.040 --> 0:40:27.239 in great shape. I mean. But now you say you 0:40:27.320 --> 0:40:31.440 got a woman that's say sixty five, and she got 0:40:31.440 --> 0:40:33.840 a thirty five year old, that's gonna look really odd. 0:40:33.840 --> 0:40:35.399 It really. I mean, you can say what you want 0:40:35.440 --> 0:40:38.000 to say, but you know, even women gonna say, what 0:40:38.120 --> 0:40:40.319 is that old man doing with that young woman? Man 0:40:40.560 --> 0:40:43.439 that don't do that young man? Women say it. I mean, so. 0:40:43.760 --> 0:40:45.799 Maybe that young that older woman got some money. 0:40:45.880 --> 0:40:50.440 Yeah, And that's where it comes down on the other side. 0:40:50.560 --> 0:40:52.080 But not always, but a lot most of the time. 0:40:52.120 --> 0:40:55.759 That's it. That is it. Women. Women, women, they want 0:40:55.840 --> 0:40:58.960 security and a lot of young men don't know how 0:40:58.960 --> 0:41:01.719 to treat a woman. First. When a young guy, like 0:41:01.840 --> 0:41:04.279 a young and not twenty twenty one year old, let's 0:41:04.280 --> 0:41:07.560 go to McDonald let's go to In and Out like what, well, 0:41:07.920 --> 0:41:10.200 an older man, let's say you twenty one and you 0:41:10.280 --> 0:41:12.960 got a man that's say thirty two years old, and 0:41:13.000 --> 0:41:15.000 he said, hey, we're gonna I'm gonna you know, I'm 0:41:15.040 --> 0:41:18.759 gonna take you to Hawaii this weekend. What I've never 0:41:18.800 --> 0:41:21.120 been to. My god, you know, all of a sudden, 0:41:21.320 --> 0:41:24.279 this guy is doing like I've never had this because 0:41:24.280 --> 0:41:26.280 he's he knows how I'm gonna take you to Martin's. 0:41:26.320 --> 0:41:27.880 I'm not taking you to In and Out. I'm not 0:41:27.920 --> 0:41:30.000 taking you to the Steak and Shape. You know, I'm 0:41:30.000 --> 0:41:32.600 taking you to to Larcen's. You know, I'm gonna take 0:41:32.600 --> 0:41:34.480 you to a place on the beach. That is the 0:41:34.520 --> 0:41:38.080 difference between an older man with some class and a 0:41:38.160 --> 0:41:40.040 young and it's nothing wrong, but cause you're young. You 0:41:40.080 --> 0:41:41.440 know allis was young. I mean I didn't know how 0:41:41.480 --> 0:41:43.799 to tip. Ain't no dan, he's supposed to tip people. 0:41:43.800 --> 0:41:45.840 I didn't know that. It's just you learn when you 0:41:45.880 --> 0:41:49.040 get older. You and women. A woman they like that 0:41:49.160 --> 0:41:52.080 by wow, he just oh he makes me feel so safe, 0:41:52.160 --> 0:41:54.200 you know, I just I just love that about him. Well, 0:41:54.239 --> 0:41:56.919 you got this this nigger over here. You're talking about 0:41:57.040 --> 0:42:00.080 taking me the damn dock in the box, you know, like, oh, 0:42:00.120 --> 0:42:01.839 damn jacking the box time I want to go out 0:42:01.880 --> 0:42:03.719 to eat the dinner. That's the difference. 0:42:04.120 --> 0:42:07.759 As a young woman who really appreciated all the old 0:42:07.800 --> 0:42:09.880 men that I dated and took me to the more 0:42:09.960 --> 0:42:13.319 insign not to McDonald's. I will say, the old men 0:42:13.360 --> 0:42:14.880 really know how to love on you. They really know 0:42:14.920 --> 0:42:17.000 how to talk you up and tell you nice things, 0:42:17.080 --> 0:42:19.120 and they will take you out. But I think in 0:42:19.120 --> 0:42:21.480 this conversation where we're lacking, it's like there may be 0:42:21.560 --> 0:42:23.879 a five year sent in your marriage or relationship that's 0:42:23.920 --> 0:42:25.960 boring or you're going through shit and you have to 0:42:26.000 --> 0:42:28.920 pour back into it. But I always ask him these instances, 0:42:28.960 --> 0:42:34.759 like this question, was he boring in the beginning? Like 0:42:35.120 --> 0:42:38.799 bitches settle you early, so like if it's not what 0:42:38.920 --> 0:42:42.120 you wanted to be at thirty or twenty five, don't 0:42:42.120 --> 0:42:43.640 wait till you're fifty five to. 0:42:43.600 --> 0:42:44.799 Get up out the motherfucker. 0:42:45.760 --> 0:42:48.040 Like if the nigga's that fucking you, if he wasn't 0:42:48.040 --> 0:42:50.880 fucking you the first year, why did we stay? I 0:42:50.880 --> 0:42:53.120 think this is the more important question, Like it's not 0:42:53.160 --> 0:42:54.399 about like people will be bored. 0:42:54.440 --> 0:42:55.160 I always ask. 0:42:55.080 --> 0:42:57.360 Even with men, like oh my wife, they'll give me. 0:42:57.880 --> 0:42:59.800 This is obviously someone specific. He told me it's recently 0:42:59.800 --> 0:43:03.239 with that, And I was like, well, did she ever 0:43:03.320 --> 0:43:05.400 fuck you? Like he's like yeah at the beginning, But 0:43:05.440 --> 0:43:08.680 I'm like, so what happened? There was something that happened. 0:43:08.680 --> 0:43:10.879 Did you stop fucking her because she became the mother 0:43:10.960 --> 0:43:14.120 of all these children? Like if the nigga never had 0:43:14.160 --> 0:43:17.960 any intellect and never really like aroused your mind, why 0:43:18.040 --> 0:43:20.440 are you surprised now? Of course you are looking the 0:43:20.480 --> 0:43:21.440 other way because. 0:43:21.160 --> 0:43:24.200 You're not being aroused. You settled, don't settle. 0:43:23.960 --> 0:43:26.400 In the beginning, and then ten years from now be like, 0:43:26.480 --> 0:43:29.680 damn should I go, Like, don't waste people's time. 0:43:29.800 --> 0:43:31.880 Well, I think that people too are like like, if 0:43:31.920 --> 0:43:34.239 you're young, when you start dating someone, your interests might 0:43:34.320 --> 0:43:36.320 be might have been aligned at that time. Yeah, you 0:43:36.400 --> 0:43:37.840 know what I mean, and then you evolve as a 0:43:37.880 --> 0:43:40.480 person and you realize that you need other types of 0:43:40.480 --> 0:43:43.719 stimulation Like that also happens. It's like there's so many 0:43:43.760 --> 0:43:45.520 there's so many different layers to why and how. 0:43:45.640 --> 0:43:48.080 I also don't think anyone should get married or really 0:43:48.320 --> 0:43:52.160 be in a relationship before thirty, Like, no one should 0:43:52.160 --> 0:43:54.160 be married or really be a relationship before thirty because 0:43:54.200 --> 0:43:56.600 who the fuck are you before thirty? Like maybe thirty 0:43:56.600 --> 0:43:57.160 five for real? 0:43:57.200 --> 0:43:59.560 For real. Well, my dad always told me he would 0:43:59.560 --> 0:44:02.239 never be married ever my whole life. He said that 0:44:02.320 --> 0:44:04.640 all the time, Like not my thing. 0:44:04.760 --> 0:44:07.279 I mean, I just I mean, I'm not saying ever. 0:44:07.280 --> 0:44:10.760 Since Judy Tillman broke his heart broke my home seventh grade, 0:44:11.520 --> 0:44:17.480 back when the story Judy was waiting by the phone 0:44:17.920 --> 0:44:18.840 for Judy to call. 0:44:18.880 --> 0:44:20.759 Can we talk about this because this is the thing 0:44:20.800 --> 0:44:24.080 with men. I see this all the time. Men can't 0:44:24.080 --> 0:44:26.720 get over the first man can't get over the first heartbreak. 0:44:26.719 --> 0:44:28.920 They can't get over seeing the auntie or the grandma 0:44:29.000 --> 0:44:31.280 cheat Like they can't see no, like if you've seen 0:44:31.320 --> 0:44:33.160 ho shit or what you perceive is hoo shit as 0:44:33.200 --> 0:44:35.680 a as a young adult, or you got your heart broken. 0:44:35.440 --> 0:44:36.120 In high school. 0:44:37.120 --> 0:44:39.440 They don't think bitches are hosts forever, Like, don't let 0:44:39.480 --> 0:44:42.880 the bitch in the seventh grade cheat on him. He's like, 0:44:43.640 --> 0:44:46.960 bitches his home since till her fifty. I see this 0:44:47.040 --> 0:44:49.160 all the time. I'm like, my nigga, she was also 0:44:49.440 --> 0:44:53.400 in seventh grade. Her hormones were raging, Like, what the fuck. 0:44:53.200 --> 0:44:55.040 Are you talking about? I see this. I just have 0:44:55.040 --> 0:44:56.719 a data guy who's like, yeah, my aunt cheated on 0:44:56.760 --> 0:44:58.960 her man. You don't know what that man did to her. 0:44:59.040 --> 0:45:01.319 Live You're fucking leave your aunt out of this. My 0:45:01.440 --> 0:45:03.759 excell and his daddy is the woman of the night. 0:45:04.239 --> 0:45:06.640 It's literally, men have this one. This is the problem 0:45:06.640 --> 0:45:07.520 with the patriarchy. 0:45:07.840 --> 0:45:09.520 The problem with the patriarchy is they feed you this 0:45:09.600 --> 0:45:12.640 bullshit about women being hose and laying on their back 0:45:12.680 --> 0:45:14.560 and you not a hope, but she a hoe and 0:45:14.760 --> 0:45:16.640 you she can't have kids, but you can have kids 0:45:16.719 --> 0:45:20.960 and then you see that one thing that you think 0:45:21.040 --> 0:45:23.359 is whole shit when you're in the tenth grade, and 0:45:23.400 --> 0:45:26.239 you can never recover from it, because to men, the 0:45:26.280 --> 0:45:28.080 worst thing you can have is a whole. Even though 0:45:28.080 --> 0:45:31.240 they all love hose, it's very confusing. I love the hose, 0:45:31.360 --> 0:45:32.319 but they won't marry them. 0:45:32.360 --> 0:45:36.879 But you say you love the hose, but you don't 0:45:36.920 --> 0:45:39.080 marry that's if that's it. 0:45:39.160 --> 0:45:41.160 But then they cheat on their wives with the hose. 0:45:41.239 --> 0:45:43.080 So it's just it's just this weird cycle. 0:45:43.120 --> 0:45:44.960 But I think, but that don't mean the one you 0:45:45.040 --> 0:45:47.799 cheating as a hoe. I mean because he cheated with you, 0:45:47.840 --> 0:45:49.720 that she might not, she might have done this before. 0:45:50.000 --> 0:45:52.120 I mean, hoe is different to me. The hose is 0:45:52.200 --> 0:45:54.799 you know, a hoe doing something you're paying or you know, 0:45:54.880 --> 0:45:56.920 you know, I mean, I know the difference. I mean, 0:45:56.920 --> 0:45:59.279 I guess I've been out there. Man, I've seen them too. 0:45:59.520 --> 0:46:01.919 I've seen them lot. Trust me and my playing pro 0:46:01.960 --> 0:46:04.839 football doing the things I've done. I mean, I've done 0:46:04.840 --> 0:46:06.560 nothing like I'm really like, oh, I'm a shaming I 0:46:06.600 --> 0:46:09.480 did that? No, I mean, but I know how men think. 0:46:09.760 --> 0:46:12.680 I mean, men don't want they don't want no girl 0:46:12.719 --> 0:46:16.360 that everybody's ran through. I'm sorry women, think if you, 0:46:16.400 --> 0:46:17.960 if you tell it people, I will never forget. I 0:46:18.080 --> 0:46:19.879 want to play. Get this girl, I want to play. 0:46:20.160 --> 0:46:22.200 We're going to we're going through one of the vegas 0:46:22.600 --> 0:46:25.400 some kind of way that the topic came up of sex. 0:46:26.280 --> 0:46:30.120 And she was twenty two years old. We'll never forget this. 0:46:30.640 --> 0:46:33.080 And I don't know how I say. I said, how many? 0:46:33.239 --> 0:46:35.600 How many guys you've been with? I'm just I don't know. 0:46:35.600 --> 0:46:37.279 I don't know how to how we have it? How 0:46:37.440 --> 0:46:39.400 was worded? And she said she was twenty two. She 0:46:39.440 --> 0:46:42.200 said she been able to with forty men. My mind went, funny, man, 0:46:42.360 --> 0:46:43.960 if I could have had the thing over my head, 0:46:44.200 --> 0:46:49.879 I'm like, fudy, I'm like, that's so at that point, 0:46:50.000 --> 0:46:52.200 I hadn't had funny women. I don't think. I'm like 0:46:52.440 --> 0:46:56.560 if I did, so what I'm like, I swear, I'm like, oh, 0:46:56.600 --> 0:46:58.680 hell no, I can't get rid of this a whole hell. 0:46:58.840 --> 0:47:01.200 I mean, that's what I'm saying. I see girls say 0:47:01.239 --> 0:47:02.480 I've been with one hundred and fifty guys. 0:47:02.520 --> 0:47:06.680 Got say, what that's the problem? How is relative? Is 0:47:06.719 --> 0:47:10.800 it twenty? Is it one? Who? Like I needed? Where's 0:47:10.840 --> 0:47:13.280 the wizard holekeeper that says your age. 0:47:14.239 --> 0:47:16.920 There a whole calculator dot com. 0:47:17.040 --> 0:47:17.759 We might need to make that. 0:47:17.880 --> 0:47:20.239 I'll tell you what man. Men may take. They may 0:47:20.239 --> 0:47:21.799 take the number eight, they may take the number ten, 0:47:21.840 --> 0:47:24.120 guys eight, whatever, but they ain't They're not going to 0:47:24.160 --> 0:47:27.759 go No. Thirty forty fifty. I mean think about that. 0:47:28.000 --> 0:47:30.080 You think about what I just said. You're a woman. 0:47:31.520 --> 0:47:34.239 How about we line up fifty guys outside. You've been 0:47:34.360 --> 0:47:36.279 fifty men and let all fifty of them come in 0:47:36.360 --> 0:47:36.919 at one time. 0:47:37.000 --> 0:47:43.320 That's not reality, reality how it happens. 0:47:43.360 --> 0:47:46.279 But reality is you. You're twenty some years old, you 0:47:46.360 --> 0:47:49.880 have fucked forty men, and you think that all right, 0:47:49.920 --> 0:47:50.919 you walk into a room. 0:47:50.960 --> 0:47:54.080 Well, I also, okay, this is just like the I 0:47:54.160 --> 0:47:56.360 have to put on my like you know, like my 0:47:56.440 --> 0:47:58.080 feminist and protecting a woman. 0:47:58.200 --> 0:48:00.319 How I got you. I'm a man, I'm protect me. 0:48:02.040 --> 0:48:04.279 Like a lot of times the women that have who 0:48:04.280 --> 0:48:06.880 are sharing their bodies in this way, it's for like, 0:48:06.960 --> 0:48:09.880 it's because there's something that's happened. It's not just because 0:48:10.120 --> 0:48:13.480 they just like fucking. It's there's a dissociation that's happening. 0:48:13.520 --> 0:48:15.960 There's a numbing that's happening. There's a there's something that 0:48:15.960 --> 0:48:19.800 they're trying to fill, not just their whole, like something else, 0:48:20.000 --> 0:48:24.359 you know, and and it's it's not it's typically not 0:48:24.440 --> 0:48:26.279 just black and white, like she woke up and was 0:48:26.280 --> 0:48:31.400 birthed a hoe, you know, like and a lot of times, 0:48:31.480 --> 0:48:35.640 guess whose fault it was, daddy's a sometimes it is, Yes, 0:48:35.680 --> 0:48:37.799 it was daddy's fault, and it was a man's fault 0:48:37.840 --> 0:48:40.040 as to why where she felt unprotected And now this 0:48:40.080 --> 0:48:43.080 is how she shares herself. So it's not always just oh, 0:48:43.080 --> 0:48:45.120 she's just a hoe that hole over there, like, No, 0:48:45.280 --> 0:48:47.160 there's things that have happened, and we have to have 0:48:47.239 --> 0:48:49.839 more empathy and sympathy for this person. And I do 0:48:49.920 --> 0:48:52.080 believe that a whole can turn into a housewife. 0:48:52.120 --> 0:48:58.279 I don't They can turn into a housewife. You can 0:48:58.320 --> 0:49:00.480 turn to, but you're not gonna take a real hole 0:49:00.480 --> 0:49:02.719 that's like for like for the streets. And turns out 0:49:02.800 --> 0:49:04.520 she can do that. It can happen. But I'm gonna 0:49:04.520 --> 0:49:08.239 tell you that that stigma is going to follow her 0:49:08.280 --> 0:49:10.799 for the rest of her life. And nobody may know it, 0:49:10.920 --> 0:49:13.359 but the guys who saw her and knew her back then, 0:49:13.640 --> 0:49:15.719 And I could be eighty five years old. Boy, that 0:49:15.800 --> 0:49:17.879 was like my Grandfa said, that was a big old 0:49:17.880 --> 0:49:22.360 hole over there. You know so and so is. 0:49:22.360 --> 0:49:25.359 Now they got cameras and videos. Tell the kids get 0:49:25.440 --> 0:49:27.520 the fuck off those cameras, these cameras. 0:49:27.200 --> 0:49:30.040 Because when I did stuff, it was no cameras and video. 0:49:30.080 --> 0:49:31.320 You can say, man, you should have been the you 0:49:31.320 --> 0:49:34.080 should have saw it. But now you go back, you 0:49:34.120 --> 0:49:36.640 can pull it up. You know, look at you. That's 0:49:36.680 --> 0:49:39.239 your grandma, man, look at her to this what she 0:49:39.280 --> 0:49:43.080 look at little man, that's your grandma. Man, Look at 0:49:43.239 --> 0:49:45.080 your grandma was fine when she was young. I mean 0:49:45.360 --> 0:49:47.920 that's the problem. All this stuff. You can see it 0:49:48.000 --> 0:49:50.680 now back in the day, you have to just imagine it. 0:49:50.760 --> 0:49:54.200 So hey, like I said me, I'm just a real nigga. 0:49:54.360 --> 0:49:56.600 So still young, but I mean I'm old, but I'm 0:49:56.640 --> 0:49:59.120 still still real nigga. I'm still that same guy. 0:49:59.320 --> 0:50:00.520 You do have a point. 0:50:00.560 --> 0:50:04.640 A lot of times, the non present daddies are are 0:50:05.000 --> 0:50:09.320 are breeding women who have abandonment issues and are seeking 0:50:09.640 --> 0:50:13.040 love and validation through their pussy because of lack of 0:50:13.080 --> 0:50:15.200 guidance because they don't have they don't know, they don't 0:50:15.200 --> 0:50:17.239 have the tools. They're just filling a void because they're 0:50:17.320 --> 0:50:20.440 wanting something emotional to be filled, but they're filling it 0:50:20.440 --> 0:50:25.640 with physicality. And as a father of two daughters, one 0:50:25.680 --> 0:50:28.160 of which, did you feel like you've experienced that at 0:50:28.160 --> 0:50:31.000 all in high school because of that that beginning rough 0:50:31.040 --> 0:50:33.319 patch with your father's relationship. Do you feel like in 0:50:33.320 --> 0:50:36.120 that in your high school or college years that you 0:50:36.320 --> 0:50:37.120 found validation? 0:50:37.239 --> 0:50:39.320 And of course I've talked about it. I've talked about 0:50:39.320 --> 0:50:42.880 my promiscuity and my I had sex early, like I, 0:50:42.880 --> 0:50:45.160 I lost my virginity when I was thirteen. 0:50:45.360 --> 0:50:48.319 Did you think that that like, I mean, I understand too, 0:50:48.360 --> 0:50:50.640 because me too. But did you feel like that was 0:50:53.120 --> 0:50:56.040 replacing something or like filling that void like that male 0:50:56.200 --> 0:50:57.879 that male attention you know always. 0:50:57.560 --> 0:51:00.600 Like I don't. I don't think that I realized then, 0:51:00.920 --> 0:51:03.520 but now as an adult looking back on that, Yes, 0:51:03.600 --> 0:51:05.200 that's why I said. That's why I'm saying I have 0:51:05.239 --> 0:51:07.840 to put that hat on because as someone whose father 0:51:07.960 --> 0:51:09.759 wasn't around much when I was a child, and I 0:51:09.840 --> 0:51:13.880 didn't have male guidance. Besides, the male that was in 0:51:13.920 --> 0:51:16.520 my household didn't take on that role of father with me. 0:51:16.840 --> 0:51:19.400 I didn't I didn't know anything about men. I just 0:51:19.480 --> 0:51:22.120 knew that men paid attention to me, or boys paid 0:51:22.120 --> 0:51:24.360 attention to me. I always got attention from boys. I 0:51:24.360 --> 0:51:25.480 didn't know what to do with that. There was no 0:51:25.520 --> 0:51:27.600 one saying like, don't do that. And I was like, well, 0:51:27.640 --> 0:51:31.520 I'm not this. This feeling is unfamiliar and it feels good. 0:51:32.040 --> 0:51:33.759 So I'm going to go. I'm gonna lead. I'm gonna 0:51:33.800 --> 0:51:37.399 go with that. And I remember I remember in high 0:51:37.400 --> 0:51:39.640 school someone calling me a hope and I've been like 0:51:39.719 --> 0:51:43.760 and being like, oh shit, am I hope? Really? Huh? 0:51:43.840 --> 0:51:45.759 I mean obviously, like these are things that boys say 0:51:45.760 --> 0:51:49.160 to girls, no matter what you can with one guy. 0:51:49.760 --> 0:51:53.040 Everybody know what I mean. But we know as women, 0:51:53.160 --> 0:51:55.960 as young girls, we know what that word does to us. 0:51:56.080 --> 0:51:58.600 We know what that means to us, especially at that 0:51:58.640 --> 0:52:03.080 age when our reputation is just beginning and we feel like, 0:52:03.200 --> 0:52:05.319 oh my god, I can I delete my wholes? Like 0:52:05.360 --> 0:52:07.440 oh shit, Like I actually I didn't know that was 0:52:07.480 --> 0:52:09.719 your friend from the you know, the high school down 0:52:09.760 --> 0:52:11.319 the way, you know, And now I'm a hoe because 0:52:11.320 --> 0:52:12.360 I slept at you and I slept at you, and 0:52:12.400 --> 0:52:14.279 oh my god, I'm a hoe now, you know. And 0:52:14.840 --> 0:52:17.239 you know I think that I've had to have a 0:52:17.320 --> 0:52:21.040 journey of like how I experience men in my life. 0:52:21.080 --> 0:52:23.399 And it didn't just end in high school like it 0:52:23.520 --> 0:52:26.640 ended in probably when we began this show and we 0:52:26.680 --> 0:52:29.600 started talking about our dating life, and we were very 0:52:29.640 --> 0:52:33.279 open about having casual sex and dating and being like 0:52:33.320 --> 0:52:36.120 I don't like kind of being like a nigga, Like 0:52:36.160 --> 0:52:37.759 I don't really give a fuck about that man. I'm 0:52:37.760 --> 0:52:39.960 about to go have fun and whatever, Like I'm dating 0:52:40.040 --> 0:52:42.440 five people at one time, and whoever is gonna be 0:52:42.480 --> 0:52:44.120 the man that's for me is gonna be the man 0:52:44.160 --> 0:52:46.399 for me. But I've had to come into my own 0:52:47.120 --> 0:52:49.720 realization and my own self respect around how I share 0:52:49.760 --> 0:52:52.960 my body. Now do I like? Have people called me 0:52:53.000 --> 0:52:55.040 a hoe for talking? I've been called a hole in 0:52:55.120 --> 0:52:57.440 so many different ways talking about sex on the internet. 0:52:57.640 --> 0:53:00.760 I've been did not people have stopped dating me because 0:53:00.800 --> 0:53:03.000 of how I talk about my sex life on the internet. 0:53:03.040 --> 0:53:05.680 So that's why I think that word is relative. And 0:53:05.719 --> 0:53:08.759 as your daughter as someone who has been called that, 0:53:10.040 --> 0:53:13.080 and I don't identify as necessarily like, I don't. I 0:53:13.120 --> 0:53:15.120 don't take on that energy because I don't. I don't 0:53:15.200 --> 0:53:19.520 view hoe as like I know that there's like levels 0:53:19.640 --> 0:53:20.200 levels to. 0:53:20.200 --> 0:53:24.160 This, ship, levels to this I'm saying levels, But I. 0:53:24.120 --> 0:53:26.640 Think that like a lot oftentimes women that are experiencing 0:53:26.760 --> 0:53:30.520 exploring their freedom and their and their sexuality in similar 0:53:30.560 --> 0:53:34.319 ways that men do. Oftentimes, Yeah, we're labeled a hoe 0:53:34.400 --> 0:53:36.080 and we're trying to figure it out, just like y'all 0:53:36.120 --> 0:53:38.359 are trying to figure it out. And we're not given 0:53:38.400 --> 0:53:40.040 the same amount of grades, so we're not given him 0:53:40.040 --> 0:53:42.359 out of that forgiveness and we have now we wear 0:53:42.400 --> 0:53:45.120 this hoe jacket no matter where we go. You know, 0:53:45.239 --> 0:53:48.040 that nigga from fifty years ago is on the porch 0:53:48.080 --> 0:53:51.200 and he's calling me a hoe when I've probably like 0:53:51.400 --> 0:53:53.680 a haven't slept with anybody in thirty years or maybe 0:53:53.800 --> 0:53:56.800 been married for forty years, but somehow that has still 0:53:56.960 --> 0:53:59.319 is still carrying on with me because this person knew 0:53:59.320 --> 0:54:01.239 me in high school and I slept with a few 0:54:01.239 --> 0:54:03.400 of his homies. You know. Like, I just think that 0:54:03.480 --> 0:54:06.520 it's we have to give each other more grace and forgiveness. 0:54:06.560 --> 0:54:08.200 And like Dad, I know you come from a certain 0:54:08.200 --> 0:54:13.040 time I do, and you know you feel how you 0:54:13.080 --> 0:54:16.280 feel and that's and that's fair. I just think that, Yeah, 0:54:16.320 --> 0:54:19.359 like as some as as a now as a mother 0:54:19.640 --> 0:54:22.440 who is who has a daughter, and I think about, 0:54:22.520 --> 0:54:26.400 you know, irie she's turning eleven and entering into this 0:54:26.480 --> 0:54:30.320 space of starting to like boys and her friends starting 0:54:30.320 --> 0:54:33.920 to like boys, and just like you know, again like 0:54:34.040 --> 0:54:37.160 not wanting to repeat history because you know, I am 0:54:37.200 --> 0:54:42.399 a single mom in some capacity, and her dad is aroundish, 0:54:42.520 --> 0:54:44.440 you know, more so than I would say maybe you 0:54:44.480 --> 0:54:46.040 were at that age for me. But I don't know 0:54:46.040 --> 0:54:49.840 the type of conversations that he's having with her about boys, 0:54:50.040 --> 0:54:53.239 probably none at all. I don't know what kind of 0:54:53.840 --> 0:54:56.920 like how she views him and how that's going to 0:54:57.800 --> 0:55:01.960 uh like reflect how what kind of boys or men 0:55:02.040 --> 0:55:06.840 that she chooses. I know, for me, I've historically chosen 0:55:06.960 --> 0:55:10.360 men that are very alpha like you, that are very 0:55:11.160 --> 0:55:16.239 like that people have high regard for, that kind of 0:55:16.320 --> 0:55:18.960 like people are scared of sometimes, you know, like I 0:55:19.360 --> 0:55:23.840 generally like the man who I'm talking about essentially not 0:55:23.960 --> 0:55:27.960 all the time, but yes, yes, and and that has 0:55:28.000 --> 0:55:29.239 not served me well. 0:55:30.440 --> 0:55:32.880 If you were gonna give a young lady advice who's 0:55:32.880 --> 0:55:36.000 listening right now, who may be at the beginning of 0:55:36.040 --> 0:55:38.719 the twenties journey, the beginning of the whole journey, because 0:55:38.760 --> 0:55:42.520 it's usually starts around sixteen if for me or like, 0:55:42.800 --> 0:55:45.719 and you know, it took us all these years to 0:55:46.120 --> 0:55:49.040 talk literally out loud in public and to each other 0:55:49.200 --> 0:55:53.080 to kind of come to the conclusion that, you know, 0:55:53.280 --> 0:55:56.919 like we've gone extreme, like been mannished and said, fuck y'all, 0:55:56.920 --> 0:55:58.480 I'm gonna do what you do and I'm gonna do that, 0:55:58.560 --> 0:56:00.640 and like we've come to this other you know, like. 0:56:00.800 --> 0:56:03.080 Would we say hope first, heal later, heal first, hold later. 0:56:03.360 --> 0:56:06.759 That's our motto, heal first, hold later, whereas we hold 0:56:06.880 --> 0:56:10.040 first and we healed later. But what advice would you 0:56:10.040 --> 0:56:13.000 give to a young woman who's maybe listening, who maybe 0:56:13.120 --> 0:56:15.239 doesn't have her father in her life or has that 0:56:15.280 --> 0:56:19.320 attention and maybe hasn't equated that that yet to avoid 0:56:20.120 --> 0:56:21.200 ten years of hotem? 0:56:21.760 --> 0:56:21.840 Me? 0:56:22.160 --> 0:56:24.520 Yeah, what advice would I give to a young woman 0:56:24.719 --> 0:56:27.040 who who doesn't have a father in her life and 0:56:27.320 --> 0:56:29.040 needs to avoid the hotem yeah. 0:56:28.960 --> 0:56:31.759 Or maybe or hasn't gone through the full journey yet. 0:56:31.760 --> 0:56:34.359 Like if you could give advice that wouldn't have to 0:56:34.400 --> 0:56:37.680 take two elves to fifteen years to get to the 0:56:37.719 --> 0:56:39.880 point where we've figured out that we should have healed 0:56:39.880 --> 0:56:42.680 first and hold later and probably not hold first and 0:56:42.719 --> 0:56:43.360 healed later. 0:56:44.080 --> 0:56:52.879 What would you say? You don't you know why I can't. 0:56:53.040 --> 0:56:55.360 I could give advice, but I also know that girls 0:56:55.360 --> 0:56:58.640 that age don't fucking listen, you know, Like I could. 0:56:58.480 --> 0:57:02.440 Say, like love yourself, like maybe if you can go 0:57:02.480 --> 0:57:05.920 see the college counselor you know, like or just like 0:57:06.040 --> 0:57:08.760 look at yourself and your body and masturbate for you. 0:57:09.040 --> 0:57:11.200 Like I can say all those things, and you should 0:57:11.200 --> 0:57:15.120 maybe do those things. But ultimately, like you know, maybe 0:57:15.120 --> 0:57:21.480 this conversation is helpful, but ultimately, like they're gonna your 0:57:21.520 --> 0:57:26.760 girls that age, there was nothing, absolutely nothing that you 0:57:26.800 --> 0:57:27.600 could have told me. 0:57:28.360 --> 0:57:31.080 I thought I was grown at sixteen. Yeah, And I 0:57:31.120 --> 0:57:33.600 know I know you felt the same way too. Yeah. 0:57:33.640 --> 0:57:35.600 And I was just talking to my dad about my 0:57:35.720 --> 0:57:39.400 sister and saying, like, when you're at a certain age, 0:57:39.560 --> 0:57:42.000 like there's really like there's a I feel like there 0:57:42.040 --> 0:57:44.160 comes a time in every young woman's life where she 0:57:44.200 --> 0:57:47.520 rebels against her parents, and sometimes it happens later and 0:57:47.560 --> 0:57:50.600 sometimes it happens earlier. For me, it was my teens, 0:57:50.680 --> 0:57:53.160 Like I was like, you can't tell me shit, mom, 0:57:53.280 --> 0:57:58.000 I'm sorry you no. And that went on for a while, 0:57:58.400 --> 0:58:00.480 you know, so like I could sit here and put 0:58:00.480 --> 0:58:03.120 my aunts he had on, but ultimately, like you're you 0:58:03.160 --> 0:58:04.720 have to figure your shit out. You have to figure 0:58:04.760 --> 0:58:07.600 it out. And ultimately, like sometimes it might take that 0:58:07.680 --> 0:58:10.160 boy calling you a hoe for you to be like, 0:58:10.160 --> 0:58:12.000 oh shit, wait what am I doing? Hold on? But 0:58:12.000 --> 0:58:15.520 what does it din't feel good? You know, you have 0:58:15.560 --> 0:58:17.200 to know what feels good to you? Does it feel 0:58:17.200 --> 0:58:19.439 good to you? Do you feel good after you leave? 0:58:19.720 --> 0:58:22.720 Do you feel good after you've had that that interaction? 0:58:23.240 --> 0:58:26.080 Because I know for me, when I was younger and 0:58:26.120 --> 0:58:29.520 I was exploring sex and stuff, like generally I didn't. 0:58:30.120 --> 0:58:33.040 I didn't feel good afterwards. I felt sad because he 0:58:33.080 --> 0:58:35.560 didn't call me, or like he didn't text me enough, 0:58:35.840 --> 0:58:38.200 or like now he's flirting with my friend, you know, 0:58:38.320 --> 0:58:41.200 and so you know, so like go with how you feel. 0:58:41.200 --> 0:58:43.440 If it doesn't feel good, then fucking stop. How about that? 0:58:43.560 --> 0:58:45.720 Because I didn't all the time. I was like, all right, 0:58:45.760 --> 0:58:47.960 well let me try again, like actually love me like 0:58:48.040 --> 0:58:50.160 me please? Well that's it. I think that's that's what 0:58:50.320 --> 0:58:51.000 a lot of us do. 0:58:51.120 --> 0:58:53.720 I mean, yeah, what we've kind of programmed to do 0:58:53.880 --> 0:58:57.320 is like convince convince someone to love me, or like 0:58:57.360 --> 0:59:00.720 maybe like there's a level of like I'm going to 0:59:00.760 --> 0:59:02.960 make you see my worth versus having the worth and 0:59:03.000 --> 0:59:05.080 saying fuck that. You know that didn't feel good, But 0:59:05.480 --> 0:59:08.040 I mean, yeah, you're absolutely right, because probably nobody could 0:59:08.040 --> 0:59:08.640 have told me shit. 0:59:08.720 --> 0:59:10.600 I'm sure many people try to tell me shit and 0:59:10.640 --> 0:59:11.640 I was like fuck you. 0:59:12.640 --> 0:59:15.400 So it is like a trial and error that you 0:59:15.440 --> 0:59:18.000 have to go through on your own. I do feel 0:59:18.040 --> 0:59:20.919 like this younger generation is like more deep, and they're 0:59:20.960 --> 0:59:23.520 more like I'm want to breathe and stuff effect, and 0:59:23.520 --> 0:59:25.280 then I'm a masturbate because I know those words from 0:59:25.280 --> 0:59:25.920 the Internet. 0:59:26.040 --> 0:59:29.320 So like maybe we're just we're just in the we 0:59:29.400 --> 0:59:31.560 have a lot more information. Yeah, we didn't have We 0:59:31.600 --> 0:59:34.600 didn't we had our friends giving us advice. Horrible, we 0:59:34.640 --> 0:59:37.000 had fourteen year olds telling us advice. 0:59:37.120 --> 0:59:39.720 I was I was reading the coldest winter ever and 0:59:39.840 --> 0:59:40.760 wanting to do home shit. 0:59:40.840 --> 0:59:43.320 Now I can look out a carousel and be like, oh, yeah, 0:59:43.440 --> 0:59:46.200 that's smart. I shouldn't do that. Yep, Nope, we shouldn't 0:59:46.200 --> 0:59:47.720 do that. I can look at a TikTok and be like, 0:59:47.760 --> 0:59:49.680 oh damn, that's a horror story. I really don't want 0:59:49.680 --> 0:59:51.680 to do that. Whereas before, like you didn't. We didn't 0:59:51.720 --> 0:59:55.720 have those. So I think luckily like our kids and 0:59:55.760 --> 0:59:58.680 the kids you know younger than them have it's like 0:59:58.680 --> 1:00:00.640 a double edged sword. It's like they have two much information, 1:00:00.720 --> 1:00:02.600 but then they have a lot of information where they 1:00:02.600 --> 1:00:05.560 can actually decide and what they want in a more 1:00:05.600 --> 1:00:09.000 clear way when it comes to that. So, yeah, that's 1:00:09.040 --> 1:00:09.600 my advice. 1:00:09.840 --> 1:00:13.800 Okay, well I'll say this much here. You're right, I 1:00:13.880 --> 1:00:17.120 was not around a lot because of me and your 1:00:17.160 --> 1:00:20.880 mother's just me and your mother's situation, and that was 1:00:20.960 --> 1:00:22.760 a lot of it was for me on me, you know, 1:00:22.920 --> 1:00:26.120 just my immaturity as a as a young man, an athlete, 1:00:26.200 --> 1:00:30.640 you know, doing that, and you know I didn't I 1:00:30.640 --> 1:00:33.200 didn't see the responsibility factor. And then I won't forget 1:00:33.240 --> 1:00:37.959 my mother. Byola, your grandmother told me, she said, she said, 1:00:38.520 --> 1:00:40.560 that's not that baby's fault. I said, that's you and 1:00:40.600 --> 1:00:43.160 man's fault. She didn't ask to be here, you know, 1:00:43.240 --> 1:00:45.360 but you couldn't tell me that. I mean, and I've 1:00:45.360 --> 1:00:48.080 told young guys just before. I said, man, look, I 1:00:48.160 --> 1:00:49.840 know you you hate the mom and all that kind 1:00:49.840 --> 1:00:52.240 of stuff, but it'll come a time where you regret 1:00:52.400 --> 1:00:55.360 not spending time with your daughter. I said, oh, your son, 1:00:55.480 --> 1:00:57.200 I said, it just it just happens. I say, all 1:00:57.240 --> 1:00:59.439 of a sudden, it's if you if you're a real 1:00:59.520 --> 1:01:02.800 human being and want to be a good person, I say, 1:01:02.960 --> 1:01:04.520 you will have a lot of regrets. And I have 1:01:04.520 --> 1:01:05.760 a lot. I have a lot of regrets with that, 1:01:05.800 --> 1:01:07.480 but I have you know, I can't. I can't do 1:01:07.520 --> 1:01:09.000 it over and don't do over us. I like to 1:01:09.000 --> 1:01:11.320 do is apologize for for me not being there at 1:01:11.840 --> 1:01:14.840 those in those in those crucial times. And yeah, you 1:01:14.840 --> 1:01:17.360 you did need a dad, you did need a role model. 1:01:17.400 --> 1:01:19.360 And I think a lot of these girls they don't 1:01:19.400 --> 1:01:22.200 have that, but some of them, you know, some of 1:01:22.240 --> 1:01:24.360 them do have that, and they still do do the 1:01:24.400 --> 1:01:26.320 things they do. It's like it's like the preacher's daughter, 1:01:26.320 --> 1:01:29.000 the preacher's son. You know, they usually the wildest ones. 1:01:29.360 --> 1:01:32.160 That's because they're repressed, but still they got a moment 1:01:32.200 --> 1:01:33.400 that they still got a mom and dad. 1:01:33.440 --> 1:01:35.920 So you can use that excuse. They can use that excuse. 1:01:35.920 --> 1:01:38.080 I well, you know, I'm impressed or you know, my 1:01:38.160 --> 1:01:40.120 dad held me back, you know, but it is what 1:01:40.160 --> 1:01:42.440 it is. But I still say the same thing. You know, 1:01:42.480 --> 1:01:47.600 as a as a woman, you know your your body 1:01:47.680 --> 1:01:50.920 has value to a man. You want a woman that 1:01:50.920 --> 1:01:56.000 that hasn't been used up. I mean, look, when you're young, 1:01:56.080 --> 1:01:57.880 we do a lot of things, all of us, you know, 1:01:57.960 --> 1:01:59.920 and I'm not you know, women being I mean I 1:02:00.160 --> 1:02:02.640 get it, but you can't keep doing the same thing 1:02:03.160 --> 1:02:06.480 when you get twenty seven, twenty eight, twenty nine the 1:02:06.560 --> 1:02:10.800 level of responsibility. But you still have women doing that, 1:02:11.160 --> 1:02:13.360 especially today, because you see it on the internet. I 1:02:13.400 --> 1:02:15.680 mean things they probably did it back then, but we 1:02:15.720 --> 1:02:18.040 didn't see it. You know, you see it. It's certain 1:02:18.040 --> 1:02:20.800 things you can't unsee. It's things that I'm sure some 1:02:20.880 --> 1:02:24.320 girls have done on these podcast on these on these 1:02:25.840 --> 1:02:28.240 Twitter and all that kind of stuff that now they 1:02:28.240 --> 1:02:31.120 have kids and they're like, wow, I wish I wouldn't 1:02:31.080 --> 1:02:32.480 have did that. I wish I want to post it 1:02:32.520 --> 1:02:35.800 myself doing that because my kids, my kids friends see that. 1:02:35.960 --> 1:02:38.720 You know, little boys see that, other little girls see that, 1:02:38.760 --> 1:02:40.560 other parents see that. And like, you're not trying to 1:02:40.560 --> 1:02:43.479 get admission from anyone else, but you got to feel 1:02:43.480 --> 1:02:45.240 good about something you do. And that's what it comes 1:02:45.240 --> 1:02:47.200 down to. Do I feel good about myself. I mean, 1:02:47.200 --> 1:02:49.400 it's I can tell you from even the man, you know, 1:02:49.520 --> 1:02:51.480 we do stuff you sleep with a girl like, man, 1:02:51.600 --> 1:02:55.840 what the hell was I doing that for my I mean, 1:02:56.280 --> 1:02:59.920 just we have regrets too, but we're men. I mean, 1:03:00.040 --> 1:03:01.440 and I'll say it again, I mean, I mean to 1:03:01.440 --> 1:03:04.160 be disrespectful. We can wipe y'all off. You can't wipe 1:03:04.240 --> 1:03:04.640 us off. 1:03:04.920 --> 1:03:05.479 You can't. 1:03:05.600 --> 1:03:07.959 I mean, I've seen It's funny because we were talking 1:03:07.960 --> 1:03:10.680 about now then I saw it. I saw it on 1:03:10.800 --> 1:03:13.400 the internet where you can have a guy that's just 1:03:13.560 --> 1:03:16.080 dated a girl, say dated, she dated a couple of 1:03:16.120 --> 1:03:17.880 guys and it was one guy she she was within 1:03:18.320 --> 1:03:20.520 ten years. She was that number ten years and she 1:03:20.680 --> 1:03:24.520 but she married Tom over here. But damn, that baby 1:03:24.560 --> 1:03:28.640 looked just like Bill, you know, even though it's his baby, 1:03:28.920 --> 1:03:31.120 but she looked just like him because his DNA is 1:03:31.120 --> 1:03:33.800 still in her. That that's that's one of the things. 1:03:33.800 --> 1:03:35.320 I mean. So you have to think about all that 1:03:35.360 --> 1:03:37.240 kind of stuff, and I know that's that's deep. But 1:03:37.840 --> 1:03:39.760 you a young kid, a young girl, a young boy, 1:03:39.880 --> 1:03:41.280 you're not thinking about all that kind of that's not 1:03:41.360 --> 1:03:43.520 stuff you're thinking about the moment. Man, Man, I want 1:03:43.520 --> 1:03:44.840 to do this. I want to get a girl like, 1:03:44.840 --> 1:03:47.280 oh yes, I'm liking this here you know, he's paying 1:03:47.280 --> 1:03:50.400 me some attention. That's what you want. But you know, 1:03:50.800 --> 1:03:55.520 like I always say, you know, things have consequences. They do. 1:03:55.560 --> 1:03:57.880 They have consequences for all of us men too, me. 1:03:58.520 --> 1:04:01.720 You know, any you used to do certain things you 1:04:01.760 --> 1:04:04.120 has a consequence. It's like it's like grabbing a woman 1:04:04.160 --> 1:04:05.480 on the ass. You grab on the ass, you slap 1:04:05.480 --> 1:04:07.360 in the face. What you think gonna happen, you know, 1:04:07.760 --> 1:04:09.200 or she put us up choice, but you think it's 1:04:09.200 --> 1:04:10.520 gonna happen. Those are the kind of things you have 1:04:10.600 --> 1:04:14.320 to It's consequences. But you know, and I'm always saying 1:04:14.320 --> 1:04:17.160 this here, I love women. I think there's nothing more 1:04:17.160 --> 1:04:19.960 beautiful than a woman, a good especially a good looking woman. 1:04:20.080 --> 1:04:22.360 You know, I ain't gonna lie. I'm there's still life, 1:04:22.360 --> 1:04:24.920 still got good looking women. None more beauty than a 1:04:24.960 --> 1:04:27.840 woman's body. I mean, I think it's just it's the 1:04:27.880 --> 1:04:30.680 most fabulous thing ever. And her virtue of being an 1:04:30.920 --> 1:04:33.560 effeminine woman, not a woman that's talking about I'm a 1:04:33.560 --> 1:04:37.680 boss bitch man, a bitch booby by yourself. You know, 1:04:38.000 --> 1:04:40.080 give me a woman, Give me a woman, you know, 1:04:40.240 --> 1:04:43.920 a real woman that that that wants to help and 1:04:44.200 --> 1:04:46.520 be you know, be with her man and do do 1:04:46.760 --> 1:04:49.040 right by her man and vice versa. Don't get me wrong. 1:04:49.040 --> 1:04:51.880 Like I said, I say this to both of y'all, man, men, 1:04:53.200 --> 1:04:55.880 it's not it's not that we the men that cheat. 1:04:56.040 --> 1:04:58.080 It's not that we go out planning that she. Some 1:04:58.120 --> 1:05:00.760 guys do. But good man, you're not. Man. I'm go 1:05:00.800 --> 1:05:03.320 winding up and get me something tonight. I can't know. 1:05:03.640 --> 1:05:06.520 Sometimes it's just like talking on this bitch. I got 1:05:06.520 --> 1:05:09.800 a good room at home, and you know it. You know, 1:05:10.120 --> 1:05:12.880 you know you love everything about your woman, but you 1:05:13.120 --> 1:05:17.360 still go get up and like I say, at that moment, 1:05:17.440 --> 1:05:24.439 he knew he fucked up, and it happens. 1:05:26.200 --> 1:05:28.680 Oh my god, Well thank you for sharing that. 1:05:28.760 --> 1:05:32.400 Dad. You're welcome. You know. I love you more than anything. 1:05:32.440 --> 1:05:32.760 I love you. 1:05:32.880 --> 1:05:33.720 I love you, I love you. 1:05:33.880 --> 1:05:35.480 I love you too. And I'm proud of you person. 1:05:35.520 --> 1:05:38.680 And I'm proud of our relationship. I'm proud of how 1:05:38.720 --> 1:05:43.720 far we've come in our relationship. And and I forgiven you. 1:05:43.760 --> 1:05:45.440 I forgave you a long time ago. You know, I 1:05:45.480 --> 1:05:47.960 talked about this on our last episode when you came 1:05:48.000 --> 1:05:51.680 and you know, you shared with me like you fucked up. 1:05:51.800 --> 1:05:52.160 I did. 1:05:52.280 --> 1:05:56.040 I mean and and and but but that was just 1:05:56.080 --> 1:05:58.240 the beginning. And it's taken time, and it's taken years 1:05:58.360 --> 1:06:02.760 for that too, for me to accept that, believe that 1:06:03.280 --> 1:06:07.800 and release it, you know, and some of that has 1:06:07.880 --> 1:06:11.720 been like through us. I mean, like two years ago, 1:06:12.360 --> 1:06:16.360 Sylvia shout out to Sylvia Costa Rica. She told me 1:06:16.400 --> 1:06:20.240 that I needed to tell my dad to my dad 1:06:20.280 --> 1:06:23.160 needed to take me on a trip and plan the 1:06:23.200 --> 1:06:26.520 whole thing, and then I needed to be his like 1:06:26.520 --> 1:06:29.320 like his his little girl, Like he needed to click 1:06:29.360 --> 1:06:32.360 the location, he needed to like set up the dinners, 1:06:32.680 --> 1:06:34.400 he needed to set up the activities, and I just 1:06:34.440 --> 1:06:36.760 show up. And so I remember I called my dad 1:06:37.280 --> 1:06:39.400 about this and I was like so nervous to ask 1:06:39.480 --> 1:06:43.720 him and be like, Dad, so the switch and told 1:06:43.760 --> 1:06:46.520 me that I need to be your little baby and 1:06:46.560 --> 1:06:50.320 you need to like set up this this weekend for us, 1:06:50.440 --> 1:06:53.000 and like you didn't hesitate at all. You were like, okay, 1:06:53.200 --> 1:06:55.320 no problem, and we did it. And I remember feeling 1:06:55.320 --> 1:06:57.919 really nervous to do it, even though like, of course 1:06:57.960 --> 1:06:59.720 we've spent time together, but we hadn't like spent a 1:06:59.720 --> 1:07:01.920 week and alone together in a long time like that. 1:07:01.960 --> 1:07:03.080 And I was going to say we should do that 1:07:03.080 --> 1:07:03.520 against him. 1:07:03.560 --> 1:07:05.400 Yea, the same thing, we do it again. 1:07:05.520 --> 1:07:09.280 Yeah, But I appreciate the effort that you've made in 1:07:09.720 --> 1:07:13.640 wanting to mend and repair our relationship because it is 1:07:13.800 --> 1:07:16.920 it is important. It is important for a woman and 1:07:16.960 --> 1:07:20.600 a young woman to have a relationship with her father, 1:07:20.720 --> 1:07:23.400 especially if he especially if he's open and willing, and 1:07:23.480 --> 1:07:26.280 it's not always going to be perfect and it's not perfect, 1:07:26.400 --> 1:07:31.320 and that's okay, and you know, but it's been extremely 1:07:31.400 --> 1:07:34.840 healing for me because there were because when I was 1:07:34.880 --> 1:07:37.840 a teenager, I was having a hard time. I was 1:07:37.880 --> 1:07:39.920 having a hard time with boys, I was having a 1:07:39.960 --> 1:07:42.800 hard time with men, and I was alone in it, 1:07:42.920 --> 1:07:45.280 and I was hiding a lot, hiding from my mom 1:07:45.880 --> 1:07:49.560 because I was embarrassed and ashamed and like she couldn't 1:07:49.600 --> 1:07:53.120 even fathom that I was having sex, you know, And 1:07:53.440 --> 1:07:57.640 I was seeking advice from my peers, and I was 1:07:57.720 --> 1:08:01.600 looking to I can't even say like media because now 1:08:01.600 --> 1:08:04.200 it's like I feel like it's it's so different now 1:08:04.240 --> 1:08:08.320 because there is there's definitely like an in some cases, 1:08:08.400 --> 1:08:10.360 like I don't want to say an agenda, but like 1:08:10.400 --> 1:08:14.400 there is like we've women who have felt unempowered, have 1:08:14.840 --> 1:08:20.200 taken their power back by championing ho shit in ways 1:08:20.280 --> 1:08:23.439 and championing because that is like the only way that 1:08:23.439 --> 1:08:26.440 they could take that power back. And it's been beneficial 1:08:26.479 --> 1:08:28.280 in ways, but it's also been very harmful in ways, 1:08:28.360 --> 1:08:31.320 especially for women that like don't have any way out 1:08:31.360 --> 1:08:34.479 of like finding the positive in it, and now it's 1:08:34.560 --> 1:08:37.880 just a dark hole of like negativity. I'm gonna get 1:08:37.880 --> 1:08:40.519 that niggas money. Fuck these niggas, Fuck all of them. 1:08:40.600 --> 1:08:42.360 I'm gonna get as many as I can, you know. 1:08:42.439 --> 1:08:44.519 And it's like, but you're actually doing harm to yourself. 1:08:45.400 --> 1:08:48.920 But I'm grateful that you've always been a place where 1:08:48.960 --> 1:08:51.920 I can come to you and talk to you about 1:08:51.920 --> 1:08:55.799 anything like I've I've I've shared more with you probably 1:08:55.840 --> 1:08:58.200 than I have with my mom at times, because you're 1:08:58.200 --> 1:09:00.640 not judgmental. And I know if you go back and 1:09:00.640 --> 1:09:03.640 tell her because now I'm now I'm a parent, Now 1:09:03.680 --> 1:09:06.200 I'm a parent, and I'm like, if I read told 1:09:06.240 --> 1:09:09.880 me some crazy shit, would I told her dad? I'm like, 1:09:10.040 --> 1:09:13.000 I don't know, maybe maybe not if you can handle it. 1:09:14.680 --> 1:09:16.960 But that has been really important to me. And also, 1:09:17.040 --> 1:09:20.160 like the relationship that you and my mom have has 1:09:20.240 --> 1:09:23.000 been really important to me because I never thought that 1:09:23.080 --> 1:09:25.200 I would see the day that you and my mom 1:09:25.320 --> 1:09:29.240 would be friends. My dad came to Thanksgiving this this year, 1:09:29.360 --> 1:09:32.280 to my mom's house by himself, just to come hang 1:09:32.280 --> 1:09:37.759 out with us, and that is like, I'm little Erica 1:09:37.800 --> 1:09:41.599 could have never fucking imagined that ever. And so like 1:09:41.640 --> 1:09:44.080 for the women that are listening that are in like 1:09:44.439 --> 1:09:49.080 really difficult challenging co parenting relationships or relationships with having 1:09:49.120 --> 1:09:53.519 a really challenging relationships with their father, like there is hope, 1:09:53.520 --> 1:09:56.880 there is space for that, and sometimes you won't get that. 1:09:57.200 --> 1:10:00.759 Sometimes it's just not possible. But I appreci She hate you, duddy, 1:10:00.800 --> 1:10:02.800 and I love you so much, and I think that 1:10:02.880 --> 1:10:04.840 you are a great father, even though I know sometimes 1:10:04.880 --> 1:10:05.760 you feel like you're are right. 1:10:06.439 --> 1:10:09.360 I do the best I can like that, but yeah. 1:10:08.920 --> 1:10:11.920 But you're the you are the best father for me. 1:10:12.120 --> 1:10:15.000 Like I chose you, You chose me, and I wouldn't want 1:10:15.040 --> 1:10:15.599 any other day. 1:10:15.800 --> 1:10:17.720 Well, thanks deal. I feel the same way. I mean, 1:10:18.040 --> 1:10:19.880 you know, one thing is glad. I'm glad that me 1:10:19.880 --> 1:10:22.280 and your mother had a relationship now because I can 1:10:22.320 --> 1:10:26.559 tell you it was bad. And I tell guys this 1:10:26.640 --> 1:10:28.240 all the time. I said, man, I'm saying, I'm just 1:10:28.240 --> 1:10:33.719 gonna be honest with you. I hate it, hated hated well. 1:10:33.560 --> 1:10:35.479 You in the plast podcast because I went to listen 1:10:35.520 --> 1:10:38.040 to it today. You said you had an unnatural hatred 1:10:38.120 --> 1:10:38.559 for my mother. 1:10:38.680 --> 1:10:41.800 I did, and you know, thinking about it, Eric, when 1:10:41.840 --> 1:10:44.000 you get older, I feel bad about that now. I 1:10:44.000 --> 1:10:47.640 really do. It's almost embarrassing to say it, because I 1:10:47.720 --> 1:10:49.760 Rihan was you know, she wasn't perfect, but you know, 1:10:49.960 --> 1:10:51.600 she was trying to be the best mom that she 1:10:51.680 --> 1:10:54.200 could be. And I understand that now. And a lot 1:10:54.280 --> 1:10:56.559 of times women do that. You know, they last shout 1:10:56.560 --> 1:10:58.280 at the man because they angry at the man because 1:10:58.280 --> 1:10:59.960 you know, they left or whatever they want to be 1:11:00.080 --> 1:11:02.519 with them. And man, it was just I was young. 1:11:02.800 --> 1:11:05.439 You know, why do you think you had such this 1:11:05.640 --> 1:11:09.840 unnatural hate? Like what is it? Where was it rooted in? 1:11:09.920 --> 1:11:15.280 Because you decided to leave? And like, what was it? 1:11:15.320 --> 1:11:17.680 The lack of contry? Like was it that she was 1:11:17.720 --> 1:11:19.120 demanding things of you? 1:11:19.880 --> 1:11:22.240 In some parts yes and in some parts no. It 1:11:22.280 --> 1:11:27.040 was just it was you cannot explain being immature me 1:11:27.080 --> 1:11:30.360 And we're immature. We're immature beings, don't We don't see 1:11:30.400 --> 1:11:33.680 things the way women see, things were selfish. Men are 1:11:33.760 --> 1:11:36.719 very selfish's about us, especially when you're young or young. 1:11:37.000 --> 1:11:41.160 And I was country being in California, and if I 1:11:41.320 --> 1:11:42.720 forget my mother told me when I came out there, 1:11:42.760 --> 1:11:43.960 don't go out there and get one of them girls 1:11:43.960 --> 1:11:46.360 pregnant out there. And I'm like, oh, not going, that's 1:11:46.360 --> 1:11:48.720 what I did. What did I do? She said, don't do? 1:11:49.080 --> 1:11:51.120 And I can't put I can't put my finger on 1:11:51.160 --> 1:11:53.479 and just say this is the reason. But it was 1:11:53.560 --> 1:11:56.080 just a plethora of things. And you know, I was 1:11:56.360 --> 1:11:58.680 going to court all the time, suing me, and I mean, 1:11:58.720 --> 1:12:01.000 and I'm just it just made it almost goes back 1:12:01.040 --> 1:12:04.360 to the Judy Tillman thing where here we go where 1:12:04.360 --> 1:12:07.120 a girl is aft, you know, done me wrong, and 1:12:07.240 --> 1:12:10.240 I just cannot get over it. And you know, and 1:12:10.320 --> 1:12:12.920 I mean, I mean, I gotta say for myself, you know, 1:12:13.000 --> 1:12:16.559 I'm glad I'm putting that that person. But when I 1:12:16.600 --> 1:12:18.559 didn't like you, I hated you, I wouldn't let it go. 1:12:19.160 --> 1:12:20.800 If I had a chance to get you back, I'm 1:12:20.800 --> 1:12:23.400 gonna get that motherfucker. That's what I'm gonna get your 1:12:26.000 --> 1:12:28.000 I'm gonna get your ass back. I promise you might 1:12:28.040 --> 1:12:30.800 not nothing, but I'm gonna get your ass. And I'm 1:12:30.880 --> 1:12:35.640 glad that I never did get your mama back like 1:12:35.680 --> 1:12:38.479 that because it's not fair to you. I won't forget. 1:12:38.479 --> 1:12:40.240 I talked to my one of my my buddies about you, 1:12:40.240 --> 1:12:42.200 about your mom one day and he said, Eric, Man, 1:12:42.200 --> 1:12:43.840 he said, man, you can't hate that girl mama like 1:12:43.880 --> 1:12:46.360 they said that, that's just that, that's that baby's mama. Eric. 1:12:46.439 --> 1:12:47.679 And you were a little bit, you were a little 1:12:47.680 --> 1:12:51.320 bit of child mom. I said, man, I said that, 1:12:51.840 --> 1:12:53.280 he said, Eric. He said, man, one day you will 1:12:53.280 --> 1:12:55.920 see it. That's my boy bird he passed away. But yeah, 1:12:56.040 --> 1:12:57.680 I mean, and he was. He was right, he was, 1:12:57.720 --> 1:13:00.400 he was so right. So like I said, here we 1:13:00.439 --> 1:13:04.400 are thirty some years later, but you know, it is 1:13:04.439 --> 1:13:06.000 what it's like. I told me that when I was 1:13:06.000 --> 1:13:07.479 at the house, and we still laugh about it. And 1:13:07.479 --> 1:13:09.800 your mom we say, I won't forget. She said one 1:13:09.880 --> 1:13:11.599 day she said, one day, you mean you might be friends. 1:13:11.640 --> 1:13:14.680 I say, hell will be on freezeget. I told her 1:13:14.720 --> 1:13:17.719 that before we ever friends. And it's funny. I enjoy 1:13:17.800 --> 1:13:20.080 talking to your mom. You know, it'll be laughing talk. 1:13:20.160 --> 1:13:23.240 That's why I try to tell younger guys, just give 1:13:23.280 --> 1:13:25.000 it time. Sometimes, just give it time. I mean, it 1:13:25.080 --> 1:13:27.760 might be bad right now, but that is the mother 1:13:27.800 --> 1:13:30.400 of your daughter, your son, and she's trying to be 1:13:30.400 --> 1:13:33.680 a good mom in spite of sometime us our foolishness. 1:13:33.840 --> 1:13:36.559 And I got to say my foolishness, you know, and 1:13:36.560 --> 1:13:38.320 you got And that's the thing about me. I'll loan 1:13:38.400 --> 1:13:40.200 up to what I do. If I say something that 1:13:40.400 --> 1:13:42.160 I think is wrong, but I've done something wrong, I 1:13:42.160 --> 1:13:44.040 don't know the problem saying it. I mean I think 1:13:44.040 --> 1:13:47.000 I was wrong. I was most definitely wrong in that situation. 1:13:47.680 --> 1:13:48.439 I appreciate that. 1:13:48.479 --> 1:13:52.160 I appreciate you both, you know, being vulnerable about your relationship. 1:13:52.360 --> 1:13:55.680 I mean seven years ago now, I know that it 1:13:56.160 --> 1:13:59.320 can be a sore spot. But I think this conversation 1:14:00.080 --> 1:14:02.599 other women need to hear it. May they may not 1:14:02.640 --> 1:14:05.639 ever get that apology or that understanding from their fathers 1:14:05.640 --> 1:14:08.520 that maybe weren't there, but this, really, this, this conversation 1:14:08.640 --> 1:14:11.400 can be so deeply healing for people listening, and like 1:14:11.479 --> 1:14:13.800 also just you being vulnerable and keeping it real like 1:14:14.000 --> 1:14:16.680 I was immature and I didn't know better and apologizing 1:14:16.720 --> 1:14:20.519 and taking accountability. And sometimes it's not some deep shit 1:14:20.640 --> 1:14:22.040 it's just like I didn't know better. 1:14:22.479 --> 1:14:25.679 And that's batter. I called you, I say, Eric, I said, 1:14:25.800 --> 1:14:27.760 give me your mom's phone number. You said, what you want. 1:14:27.800 --> 1:14:29.400 I want to talk to your mom about something. I'll 1:14:29.400 --> 1:14:32.280 never forget it. I called your mother, I said, I 1:14:32.680 --> 1:14:35.320 say in this error she said here was I can 1:14:35.360 --> 1:14:37.120 tell you she was nervous because you know I called. I'm 1:14:37.120 --> 1:14:40.519 calling the car the tailouts, I said, I said, it's Eric. 1:14:40.600 --> 1:14:42.519 She said, what's up? Eric? I said, I want to 1:14:42.520 --> 1:14:44.759 talk to you about something, I said. She said, okay, 1:14:44.800 --> 1:14:46.880 what I said, I want to say this to you. 1:14:46.960 --> 1:14:48.920 I said, First of all, I want to say thank 1:14:48.960 --> 1:14:51.519 you for being a good mother to Erica. And I said, 1:14:51.560 --> 1:14:53.599 I want to apologize for the stuff that I've done. 1:14:54.240 --> 1:14:55.680 I said, so I just want to pol say that 1:14:55.760 --> 1:14:57.040 just because you're a good mom. I said, I just 1:14:57.040 --> 1:14:58.920 want to say I'm sorry. And she said, Eric, I 1:14:58.920 --> 1:15:02.040 cannot believe you. I said, I told her me either. 1:15:02.680 --> 1:15:05.760 We laughed about it. So you know that's that's how 1:15:06.080 --> 1:15:08.320 that's that was. That was a change in me. That's 1:15:08.320 --> 1:15:09.920 when I knew I changed. I mean, I just knew. 1:15:09.960 --> 1:15:11.800 I said, I feel different about her mother. I mean, 1:15:11.800 --> 1:15:13.360 I don't wish your mother no ill will. I wish 1:15:13.400 --> 1:15:15.400 the best for my mother. She's done things for me. 1:15:15.600 --> 1:15:17.519 I've done things for her and things that you could 1:15:17.560 --> 1:15:20.360 never say I would. I would never do that. But 1:15:20.720 --> 1:15:23.280 you know, like think going to Thanksgiving, man, I told you, 1:15:23.280 --> 1:15:24.880 I told her I had such a good time. I 1:15:24.880 --> 1:15:26.519 had a great I had a great time over there. 1:15:26.960 --> 1:15:29.840 I had dinner with my parents for the first time 1:15:30.000 --> 1:15:33.519 this year, for actually the first time having dinner with 1:15:33.560 --> 1:15:36.080 them ever in my whole fucking life, I've never had 1:15:36.120 --> 1:15:39.160 dinner with my mom and dad and it was for 1:15:39.240 --> 1:15:44.599 my birthday. And uh, And what I realized at that dinner, though, 1:15:45.240 --> 1:15:50.000 was y'all needed to go to dinner. I was just 1:15:50.080 --> 1:15:52.439 kind of sitting there. They were talking tho whole I 1:15:52.640 --> 1:15:54.400 was just like and then at times I was like, Okay, 1:15:54.640 --> 1:15:57.080 this is a lot of information. I don't need to 1:15:57.160 --> 1:16:02.519 know all of this. But I am grateful that I 1:16:02.560 --> 1:16:06.439 can even scream at whatever you guys are sharing, because 1:16:06.439 --> 1:16:08.479 I never thought that I would be able to experience that, 1:16:08.640 --> 1:16:11.679 like literally, that was not even on my Bingo card 1:16:11.760 --> 1:16:14.439 of life ever, I had already written that off. I 1:16:14.479 --> 1:16:16.559 was more so just hoping to have a relationship with you. 1:16:16.640 --> 1:16:20.080 I was not even thinking about mending a relationship with 1:16:20.160 --> 1:16:23.000 my mom and my dad. And I think it's really 1:16:23.040 --> 1:16:25.760 important too that I'm grateful for it because I'm I 1:16:26.080 --> 1:16:27.639 feel like there's a lot of healing that I don't 1:16:27.680 --> 1:16:30.400 even think Iri is Iri is even aware of, you know, 1:16:30.479 --> 1:16:33.880 like she gets to see that too, and it's normal 1:16:33.880 --> 1:16:36.320 for her. She doesn't even know anything different, you know. 1:16:36.640 --> 1:16:41.559 And and I think, and I think that even like 1:16:41.600 --> 1:16:44.439 in our last episode, like my relationship with her father 1:16:44.479 --> 1:16:45.559 has evolved a lot. 1:16:48.640 --> 1:16:48.760 Time. 1:16:49.960 --> 1:16:52.679 It is what it is, but but there's respect and 1:16:52.720 --> 1:16:56.240 there's just like, you know, acceptance. I think more so 1:16:56.400 --> 1:16:58.840 if there's just an acceptance, he's still guess, oh my 1:16:58.840 --> 1:17:01.840 goddamn nerves, but there's an acceptance. And the other day 1:17:01.880 --> 1:17:03.320 I told him, I was like, I love you, I 1:17:03.360 --> 1:17:04.840 love you. I want the best for you. I hope 1:17:04.840 --> 1:17:05.439 the best for you. 1:17:05.560 --> 1:17:08.559 He'll get more mature as time goes on. Maturity comes 1:17:08.560 --> 1:17:11.640 with age for a man to we're so immature, Like 1:17:11.640 --> 1:17:13.479 I won't forget when people used to say women mature 1:17:13.520 --> 1:17:15.360 faster than me. And I'm like, that's a lie. I mean, 1:17:15.439 --> 1:17:17.000 you know, because I mean, come on, women on me, 1:17:17.240 --> 1:17:20.160 but for real, they do y'all are so much more 1:17:20.160 --> 1:17:23.280 mature and adult like than me and are We're both 1:17:23.479 --> 1:17:25.760 sometimes we're boys? Do we thirty five forty years old? 1:17:26.040 --> 1:17:29.559 Really we like little kids. And and I's why I say, 1:17:29.720 --> 1:17:31.360 I said, just give you some time. I say, Freddy, 1:17:31.840 --> 1:17:35.200 he'd be like like me, like, damn, what was that? 1:17:35.200 --> 1:17:38.040 That was just dumb? You know that, that's what it is. 1:17:38.439 --> 1:17:45.120 Hear that, Freddy, make that clicking? Don't do that? Well? 1:17:45.160 --> 1:17:46.880 Do you have an affirmation for us today? 1:17:48.160 --> 1:17:50.360 And like things that I think living about, I live 1:17:50.439 --> 1:17:53.680 my life by well. My dad had a saying. He 1:17:53.720 --> 1:17:56.320 had two says that I really didn't understand at the time, 1:17:56.640 --> 1:17:58.719 and I always say this when I'm talking to people. 1:17:59.400 --> 1:18:01.160 One of his things was he says, sonn, it takes 1:18:01.200 --> 1:18:02.800 a second to get in trouble in a lifetime to 1:18:02.840 --> 1:18:06.439 get out, which is true because you think about it, 1:18:06.560 --> 1:18:09.560 just say like, I'm twenty two years old, got me 1:18:09.600 --> 1:18:13.680 a brand new car, Arriot or whatever. I'll drink with 1:18:13.720 --> 1:18:16.679 my buddies, go out, leave the club. He didn't kill somebody, 1:18:16.800 --> 1:18:19.360 didn't take long, did it? I took a second. My 1:18:19.400 --> 1:18:22.120 whole life is changed. And that took a second. And 1:18:22.280 --> 1:18:24.760 I didn't get that at first, and then I got it, 1:18:24.800 --> 1:18:27.080 believed it or not. After he passed away, and my 1:18:27.120 --> 1:18:28.919 dad passed away when I was young, I was seventeen 1:18:29.439 --> 1:18:30.960 and then But the one that gets me the most 1:18:31.000 --> 1:18:32.640 is he says, son, all these you do do what 1:18:32.680 --> 1:18:35.240 you might things done by halves and never done right. 1:18:36.160 --> 1:18:38.479 What's all that you do do with your mic things 1:18:38.479 --> 1:18:40.720 and halves are never done right? 1:18:40.880 --> 1:18:42.680 Ye, never done right? He said, all you do do 1:18:42.720 --> 1:18:44.920 is one hundred percent. And I take that and I 1:18:45.000 --> 1:18:46.840 always do it just like that, you know, and I 1:18:47.320 --> 1:18:51.400 believe that. I mean business, playing football, all of it. 1:18:51.439 --> 1:18:53.839 I mean, I didn't want to be second to anyone 1:18:53.960 --> 1:18:55.760 that was. That was my thing. But you know, and 1:18:55.800 --> 1:18:58.120 I tell people that, I say, you know, you got 1:18:58.120 --> 1:18:59.840 to do it one hundred percent. You know, if you don't, 1:18:59.880 --> 1:19:01.519 like my dad said, look, if you're gonna be if 1:19:01.560 --> 1:19:04.000 you're gonna be the janitor, to be the best janitor is. 1:19:04.439 --> 1:19:06.280 You know, if you're gonna be a businessman, be the 1:19:06.280 --> 1:19:08.679 best businessman there is, you're gonna be a drive, would 1:19:08.680 --> 1:19:10.240 be the best driver there is. And so that's what 1:19:10.280 --> 1:19:12.400 I try to live my life by. You know, I'm 1:19:12.400 --> 1:19:15.880 not perfect by no means. Trust men, I like. 1:19:15.880 --> 1:19:34.639 That daddy, you pick a card. It's terror time. Two 1:19:34.720 --> 1:19:46.200 swords of swords, two swords. We have a woman I 1:19:46.200 --> 1:19:56.400 think blindfolded water behind her calling two swords like wakandah 1:20:00.040 --> 1:20:05.120 mm hmm, about to find out what do you think 1:20:05.120 --> 1:20:06.400 it means? Just looking at it? 1:20:07.560 --> 1:20:10.439 Like what I know that? 1:20:11.400 --> 1:20:12.680 Don't like to drink it or get it? 1:20:12.800 --> 1:20:15.680 I don't get it. 1:20:18.680 --> 1:20:21.120 Okay, let's see. The internet is moving very slow. 1:20:22.640 --> 1:20:26.360 Let me see. Okay, here we go. Two of swords. 1:20:26.640 --> 1:20:30.839 The two of swords indicates that you're facing a challenging decision, 1:20:31.000 --> 1:20:34.520 but you're unclear about which option to take. Both possibilities 1:20:34.560 --> 1:20:37.400 may seem equally good or equally bad, and you're stumped 1:20:37.439 --> 1:20:39.720 about which will lead you to the best outcome. You 1:20:39.800 --> 1:20:41.799 must be able to weigh up the pros and cons 1:20:41.800 --> 1:20:44.519 of each choice and then make a conscious judgment. Use 1:20:44.560 --> 1:20:47.000 both your head, your mind, and the intellect and your 1:20:47.040 --> 1:20:49.840 heart you're feeling intuition to choose the path that is 1:20:49.880 --> 1:20:52.200 most in alignment with your higher self. This might be 1:20:52.280 --> 1:20:55.200 far our bad choice of the week, and in reading, 1:20:55.240 --> 1:20:57.680 it may be helpful to draw further two cards for 1:20:57.760 --> 1:21:00.439 either side of the two swords to show what is 1:21:00.479 --> 1:21:02.920 in your trying to decide upon your balance. You may 1:21:02.920 --> 1:21:05.080 also like to draw for four more cards for the 1:21:05.080 --> 1:21:07.439 pros and cons of each choice. The woman in this 1:21:07.479 --> 1:21:10.559 card where's blindfold, indicating that she cannot see the entirety 1:21:10.600 --> 1:21:13.599 of her circumstances. You may lack the information you need 1:21:13.640 --> 1:21:15.719 to make the right decision. You may be missing something 1:21:15.800 --> 1:21:18.960 such as the threats or potential risks, alternative solutions, or 1:21:19.000 --> 1:21:21.200 critical pieces of information that would help guide you in 1:21:21.240 --> 1:21:24.439 a particular direction. Once you remove the blindfold and see 1:21:24.439 --> 1:21:26.280 the situation for what it really is, you will be 1:21:26.360 --> 1:21:28.400 in a much better position to find your. 1:21:28.320 --> 1:21:29.439 Best path forward. 1:21:30.240 --> 1:21:34.519 Research your options, seek outside opinions and feedback, and ask 1:21:34.600 --> 1:21:36.320 yourself what you might be missing. 1:21:37.120 --> 1:21:40.280 Hmm, Okay, do you have any decisions you have to make? 1:21:42.400 --> 1:21:46.000 Always something? Trust me always? 1:21:48.240 --> 1:21:51.800 Okay, Dad, Well, thank you. I did want to ask 1:21:51.800 --> 1:21:54.639 you about bad Bunny. Did you enjoy the Super Bowl? 1:21:55.400 --> 1:21:57.000 Uh? The game was boring as hell? 1:21:57.080 --> 1:21:58.639 Yeah, it was the gay I didn't watch the game 1:21:58.640 --> 1:22:02.839 at all. That we watched the halftime show. 1:22:03.439 --> 1:22:05.360 You didn't watch it at all? 1:22:05.560 --> 1:22:06.759 Are you boycotting it on purpose? 1:22:06.800 --> 1:22:06.840 No? 1:22:07.280 --> 1:22:09.680 Let me tell you something the bathroom. Let me tell 1:22:09.680 --> 1:22:12.840 you something about your dad. Uh, I'm not a music 1:22:12.880 --> 1:22:13.479 person at all. 1:22:13.880 --> 1:22:15.599 You always say that don't like music. 1:22:15.680 --> 1:22:17.360 The only time I listen to music, honestly, it's on 1:22:17.400 --> 1:22:18.559 the golf course of putting my thing. 1:22:18.960 --> 1:22:20.120 So are you silent in the car? 1:22:20.600 --> 1:22:21.240 Dead silent? 1:22:22.600 --> 1:22:25.200 I remember anything you listening to music? 1:22:25.320 --> 1:22:27.280 Think about it. No, I don't really listen to music. 1:22:27.720 --> 1:22:33.360 I said. I do b IG's lyrics, not the rapper himself. 1:22:33.439 --> 1:22:35.880 I listen to music, yeah, man, I used to kind of, 1:22:36.000 --> 1:22:40.519 but you know, as I got older, the music has 1:22:40.600 --> 1:22:43.479 changed so much. You know, it's like it just ain't 1:22:43.479 --> 1:22:45.760 the same. And I just, I really, I don't listen 1:22:45.800 --> 1:22:48.320 to it that much. So No, the last half time 1:22:48.360 --> 1:22:54.519 show I watched the one when Snoop, Doctor, Dre fifty 1:22:54.680 --> 1:22:57.200 and Eminem perform. I watched a little bit of that, 1:22:57.720 --> 1:23:01.960 but like last year's was Mars his name, Yeah, I didn't. 1:23:02.040 --> 1:23:04.280 I didn't watch that, I mean, not til I boycott it. 1:23:04.320 --> 1:23:06.600 I just, I mean, I'm just I don't sit and 1:23:06.680 --> 1:23:07.080 watch it. 1:23:07.320 --> 1:23:13.599 Do you know how many messages I have got from 1:23:13.640 --> 1:23:21.080 strangers from friends from the internet about you talking to 1:23:21.160 --> 1:23:26.880 tm Z about Benito and how I have had to 1:23:26.880 --> 1:23:29.559 defend your honor but also text you like that. Can 1:23:29.600 --> 1:23:34.080 you please talking to Stop talking. They're doing it on 1:23:34.120 --> 1:23:36.519 purpose to try and catch you with the airport. Stop 1:23:36.680 --> 1:23:41.080 talking to them and saying stupid ship, daddy. 1:23:41.439 --> 1:23:42.200 I feel. 1:23:43.439 --> 1:23:44.080 How do you feel? 1:23:44.840 --> 1:23:46.400 This is? This is how I feel about it. First 1:23:46.400 --> 1:23:47.800 of all, I don't know who bad Bunny is. I 1:23:47.800 --> 1:23:50.240 ain't know bugs Bunny, Easter Bunny, I don't I don't know. 1:23:50.560 --> 1:23:52.120 I don't know bad no Bunny. It don't make no 1:23:52.120 --> 1:23:54.280 difference to me. Let me tell you something. First of all, 1:23:54.320 --> 1:23:55.200 I love Latin people. 1:23:56.160 --> 1:24:00.120 I know you have a Latino daughter. I am thank you. 1:24:00.120 --> 1:24:00.720 Your daughter is. 1:24:00.760 --> 1:24:03.160 Yeah, so so so. There's nothing of there's nothing to 1:24:03.200 --> 1:24:06.759 do with that. My thing is this and I'm always 1:24:07.439 --> 1:24:09.880 for right and wrong and I'm not saying this is. 1:24:10.240 --> 1:24:13.559 Everybody has that right and wrong. And let me tell 1:24:13.560 --> 1:24:15.840 you something. First of all, I never kill people think 1:24:15.840 --> 1:24:17.840 about me. That's why I say what I say. It's 1:24:17.920 --> 1:24:19.439 my truth and I believe it and I'm not gonna 1:24:19.439 --> 1:24:22.559 try to hurt anybody's feelings. But my Lord and saves 1:24:22.600 --> 1:24:25.559 the most important thing to me. If man this is man, 1:24:25.640 --> 1:24:28.040 this this is they care more about clicks than anything. 1:24:28.040 --> 1:24:29.439 I don't give a damn by a click I would 1:24:29.479 --> 1:24:30.800 even know how to get on the look at a click. 1:24:31.040 --> 1:24:33.280 So anyway, when people say something, I don't know what 1:24:33.280 --> 1:24:34.640 they say, so it they't fake it don't fit to 1:24:34.760 --> 1:24:37.360 affect me. My thing is this, If you don't like 1:24:37.400 --> 1:24:40.000 the United States, if you want to say stuff, if 1:24:40.000 --> 1:24:41.599 you don't want to stand up for the national anthem, 1:24:41.920 --> 1:24:47.240 you know at the baseball game and he did, you know, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. 1:24:47.360 --> 1:24:50.960 Don't do anything here, you know, don't. I don't, Yes, 1:24:51.080 --> 1:24:53.000 hold on that you finisht me finish, Let me finish. 1:24:53.560 --> 1:24:56.160 You know, if if the f Ice, I get it. 1:24:56.160 --> 1:24:58.080 Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying Ice is doing 1:24:58.200 --> 1:25:01.120 everything perfect, but you have to have you have to 1:25:01.240 --> 1:25:03.920 do what Obama had Ice. 1:25:04.640 --> 1:25:06.519 We didn't see none of this shit in the news either. 1:25:06.640 --> 1:25:08.680 That's what I'm saying. See that's the problem. That's that's it, 1:25:08.720 --> 1:25:09.519 That's what it is. 1:25:09.640 --> 1:25:12.840 I think there's maybe a more tactical, more humane way 1:25:12.880 --> 1:25:14.040 of going about it. 1:25:14.080 --> 1:25:15.960 I'm not in I'm not in the I'm not in 1:25:16.000 --> 1:25:20.920 the politics. But you know what, even biblically, you go 1:25:21.040 --> 1:25:23.439 by the law of the land. It's just the way right. 1:25:24.320 --> 1:25:26.479 I'm just saying over that, like, can I finish and 1:25:26.520 --> 1:25:27.840 let me finish, let me say what I gotta say, 1:25:27.880 --> 1:25:29.800 then you can say what you gotta say the law 1:25:29.840 --> 1:25:32.200 of the land. And I've said again, are they doing 1:25:32.200 --> 1:25:33.840 it right? There's no way to do it right. You 1:25:33.880 --> 1:25:36.760 can It's it's impossible to do this right. It's an 1:25:36.760 --> 1:25:39.680 impossible task because you have too many people that have 1:25:39.760 --> 1:25:42.400 become You can't do it right. It's just you. You can't. 1:25:42.520 --> 1:25:44.960 It's not gonna be everybody's not gonna be happy. That's 1:25:44.960 --> 1:25:49.439 like saying everybody loves sugar. Everybody don't love sugar. My 1:25:49.600 --> 1:25:52.000 thing is this, you know, if if you say stuff 1:25:52.200 --> 1:25:55.479 that is derogatory about the US. Look, the US ain't 1:25:55.479 --> 1:25:58.800 no place perfect, no place is. You can't go you 1:25:58.840 --> 1:26:00.880 can't go to you can't go to Mexico and burn 1:26:00.960 --> 1:26:04.519 their flag. You can't go to Iran and burn their flag. 1:26:05.040 --> 1:26:06.960 You can't go to China and burn their flag. You can't. 1:26:07.000 --> 1:26:10.080 I mean, it's just things you should not do it flags. Sam. 1:26:10.120 --> 1:26:11.640 I'm just saying, this is the stuff that goes on 1:26:11.720 --> 1:26:14.400 that they you know that that that they that they've 1:26:14.439 --> 1:26:17.479 done and he's done it too. Since I stumped stumped 1:26:17.479 --> 1:26:21.599 on the American flag. Look, Benito, Benito, whatever his name is, Benito, 1:26:21.640 --> 1:26:24.120 I don't know. I mean, like I say me personally, 1:26:24.800 --> 1:26:27.920 I don't care about no bad bunny. Bad bunny don't 1:26:27.960 --> 1:26:30.719 care about me. I don't care about bad. He asked 1:26:30.720 --> 1:26:33.360 me a question how I feel about it? And they 1:26:33.360 --> 1:26:36.920 telling about Will you know, Uh, Puerto Rico is US 1:26:37.400 --> 1:26:40.880 pre Puerto Rico is US territory, just like Guam is. 1:26:41.360 --> 1:26:43.879 They can't vote for the president. They can't vote not'm because. 1:26:43.640 --> 1:26:45.840 Of a wazu. They're not giving those rights. But they 1:26:45.840 --> 1:26:47.760 guess what they do. Guess what they can do. They 1:26:47.760 --> 1:26:50.920 can go to the military and go fight for this country. 1:26:51.000 --> 1:26:53.639 They gotta pay taxes. They use the US dollars. 1:26:53.640 --> 1:26:56.439 I'll say it again, it's not US territory. But hey, 1:26:56.520 --> 1:26:58.639 that's that's that's neither hearing nor that my my thing. 1:26:58.760 --> 1:26:59.799 It is US territory. 1:26:59.840 --> 1:27:02.560 It's US territories of states, right, it's US terrorists. Is 1:27:02.760 --> 1:27:05.360 US territory they ask for that. It is US territory. 1:27:05.400 --> 1:27:08.680 But anyway, forget that. Like I said me, personally, I 1:27:08.720 --> 1:27:09.920 don't man, I don't know what to give it. Damn, 1:27:10.120 --> 1:27:12.080 I just think this, you know, My main thing is 1:27:12.080 --> 1:27:16.919 about this is I don't like. Football is football. Football 1:27:17.040 --> 1:27:20.880 is as an American sport. It's first football, it's back baseball. 1:27:21.320 --> 1:27:24.960 Don't put politics into football. Let it be football. Lead 1:27:25.000 --> 1:27:26.600 that stuff from place elf. You want to go to 1:27:26.640 --> 1:27:28.760 concerts like like just like the girl Billie Eili's get 1:27:28.760 --> 1:27:30.719 to talking about you're still in the land. Who wants 1:27:30.760 --> 1:27:32.960 to hear that? I mean, who wants to now they're 1:27:32.960 --> 1:27:34.760 talking about the people saying that, oh you got your 1:27:34.760 --> 1:27:36.599 house on i WI land and now they want the house. 1:27:36.880 --> 1:27:41.440 I mean, football is football. Let's just play football and just. 1:27:42.720 --> 1:27:46.360 No, they have nothing, not consistently, but but yes they have. 1:27:46.560 --> 1:27:49.760 They started this crap erica in the last like eight 1:27:49.800 --> 1:27:53.400 to ten years. This this this nonsense. And the players 1:27:53.400 --> 1:27:55.719 we feel the same way. A lot of players feel 1:27:55.760 --> 1:27:59.320 like I feel like lead that lead that ship over there. 1:27:59.640 --> 1:28:01.840 Let's just playing football. Just get a group out there. 1:28:01.920 --> 1:28:04.240 Look if he if he speaks Spanish, that's fantastic. I 1:28:04.240 --> 1:28:06.800 think Spanish is a sexy language. But you know what, 1:28:07.800 --> 1:28:10.439 you ain't got it. Like like Shakiro she did, she 1:28:10.479 --> 1:28:13.640 did English and Spanish. We find do some English, but 1:28:13.680 --> 1:28:16.120 you're gonna say I'm gonna do my whole concern in Spanish. 1:28:16.200 --> 1:28:18.320 You got four months, you got hold on and got 1:28:18.400 --> 1:28:22.080 let me finish. You got four months to learn Spanish. Hey, 1:28:22.720 --> 1:28:25.120 that's on them. If the NFL wants to do that, 1:28:25.120 --> 1:28:27.559 that's fine. That's how I feel about it. That's how 1:28:27.600 --> 1:28:30.000 a lot of that's how a lot of players occurred 1:28:30.120 --> 1:28:32.640 and retired feel about it. But you know what, they 1:28:32.640 --> 1:28:34.240 ain't got no, they ain't got no choice. But that's 1:28:34.240 --> 1:28:35.880 just that's that's that's my take on. Like I said, 1:28:36.320 --> 1:28:39.439 bad body, don't. You don't give a damn about me, 1:28:39.880 --> 1:28:41.599 and I don't give a damn about him. That's how 1:28:41.600 --> 1:28:43.799 I feel about it. I mean really, And they fans 1:28:43.880 --> 1:28:46.320 like they can post stuff, think gotta read that ship? 1:28:46.920 --> 1:28:52.599 No ship, that's it. So what they say about your dad, 1:28:52.640 --> 1:28:53.080 I don't care. 1:28:53.120 --> 1:28:54.640 I could give I'm not gonna tell you that a 1:28:54.640 --> 1:28:57.960 lot of good. 1:28:58.160 --> 1:29:00.120 I'm glad they do. Like I said, you don't. My 1:29:00.160 --> 1:29:03.160 main thing is, I say it again, my relationship with 1:29:03.200 --> 1:29:04.760 my Lord and save you. I don't care about none 1:29:04.760 --> 1:29:06.200 of that. I don't care about day they say whatever 1:29:06.240 --> 1:29:07.640 they want to say about me, because you know what, 1:29:07.720 --> 1:29:09.439 one day all of them are going to stand before 1:29:09.479 --> 1:29:12.280 him just like I am. And be judged. I don't 1:29:12.320 --> 1:29:14.320 judge nobody. I'm not judging this man. By no means 1:29:14.360 --> 1:29:16.519 am I judging him, So don't say I'm not saying that. 1:29:17.560 --> 1:29:19.400 What I just want to address a few things. First 1:29:19.439 --> 1:29:24.080 of all, I have a question, Yes, what is the 1:29:24.080 --> 1:29:25.280 official language of America? 1:29:26.680 --> 1:29:27.120 English? 1:29:27.360 --> 1:29:29.960 Yeah, they did, they did it recently then this last 1:29:30.000 --> 1:29:32.680 two years. 1:29:30.400 --> 1:29:35.720 So what's the official There was no language there. 1:29:35.760 --> 1:29:38.920 Was that happened recently because forty million people in America 1:29:38.920 --> 1:29:45.559 speak Spanish. America is indigenous. America is indigenous land. This 1:29:45.640 --> 1:29:48.720 is English is not native to this land. Number one. 1:29:49.120 --> 1:29:52.400 Number two Bad Bunny is one of the biggest streamed 1:29:52.520 --> 1:29:55.719 artists in the world across all genres, not just Latin. 1:29:56.240 --> 1:29:59.080 So him being there is like it makes sense because 1:29:59.280 --> 1:30:02.439 he's the biggest streamed artist in the world, not just 1:30:02.520 --> 1:30:06.400 within South America or Latin America, that this is the 1:30:06.439 --> 1:30:13.640 whole world, okay. Number two. Puerto Rico. Yes, it's not 1:30:13.680 --> 1:30:17.240 a state, but it is US territory. They pay taxes, 1:30:17.760 --> 1:30:21.040 they have to go fight in wars for US, and 1:30:21.160 --> 1:30:23.720 they contribute to the economy. They use the US dollar 1:30:23.800 --> 1:30:26.080 in Puerto Rico. There's no Puerto Rican dollar and it's 1:30:26.120 --> 1:30:29.320 the equivalent to the US dollar here. So I just 1:30:29.800 --> 1:30:34.200 like the fact. And because so many people speak Spanish, 1:30:34.240 --> 1:30:36.439 just because we don't, I mean, I know, I know 1:30:36.479 --> 1:30:41.280 what BENEATHO saying, because sooy Latina battle. Just because everybody 1:30:41.280 --> 1:30:44.519 else doesn't doesn't mean that he doesn't have a right 1:30:44.600 --> 1:30:47.000 to be on that stage. And of course, yes they've 1:30:47.080 --> 1:30:49.839 used it as a political statement, because yes, the NFL 1:30:49.920 --> 1:30:54.200 has the NFL has chosen to make political statements, has 1:30:54.439 --> 1:30:58.280 chosen to use that forum as a place for political statements. 1:30:58.400 --> 1:31:02.800 Now with Ice, what the are doing is crazy, Dad, 1:31:03.040 --> 1:31:04.680 it is I don't you can say like there's no 1:31:04.760 --> 1:31:07.080 good way of doing it. They are literally just pulling 1:31:07.080 --> 1:31:10.120 people off the street that just look Latino or that 1:31:10.880 --> 1:31:13.439 took Latino. They can be black. They're pulling black people 1:31:13.439 --> 1:31:16.400 off the streets. Like this is the beginning of not 1:31:16.520 --> 1:31:20.920 the beginning. We're already in it of just everyone just 1:31:20.960 --> 1:31:23.360 losing their rights thereabouts that they can enter your home 1:31:23.400 --> 1:31:26.320 without a warrant, Like it's so much deeper than just 1:31:27.320 --> 1:31:29.519 we have to get the illegals out. 1:31:29.520 --> 1:31:32.680 And we have to talk about law, because historically America's 1:31:32.800 --> 1:31:35.680 law has not as much as it's been lawful or 1:31:35.720 --> 1:31:40.400 been the law we've seen Hence slavery, hence Jim Crow, 1:31:40.560 --> 1:31:43.639 hence the civil rights Those were laws too, but they 1:31:43.680 --> 1:31:46.200 didn't benefit some people's human rights. And so when we 1:31:46.240 --> 1:31:48.840 see that, we have to speak up because we as 1:31:48.880 --> 1:31:51.599 black people not that very long ago, especially you coming 1:31:51.600 --> 1:31:52.800 from Texas. 1:31:52.680 --> 1:31:55.080 You know they was using the laws you went to 1:31:55.080 --> 1:31:58.639 just like create a school, some function, to do some function. 1:31:59.280 --> 1:32:01.559 These niggas be doing the function the government, the US 1:32:01.640 --> 1:32:04.519 government beyond some functionhit some racist function. 1:32:04.680 --> 1:32:05.439 And that's the truth. 1:32:05.479 --> 1:32:10.000 Even though slaves built this country, built the White House, 1:32:10.520 --> 1:32:13.920 built the wealth of America. Just because some shit is legal, 1:32:14.040 --> 1:32:16.400 don't mean I was gonna say it the see words. 1:32:16.439 --> 1:32:20.240 Let mean bring it back, let me bring it back. 1:32:21.120 --> 1:32:23.400 These crackers are crazy. 1:32:23.920 --> 1:32:26.800 You gotta watch them and you gotta check them. Hence 1:32:26.840 --> 1:32:28.800 the checks and the balances, and that's about to be 1:32:28.840 --> 1:32:30.680 out the door. So we need all the checks and 1:32:30.720 --> 1:32:34.200 the balances that we can get. Yes, Obama has probably 1:32:34.240 --> 1:32:37.040 had ice. There's always been federal agents that are in 1:32:37.320 --> 1:32:41.080 control of territory and immigrants. However, there's due process. You 1:32:41.120 --> 1:32:44.120 cannot just be fucking killing people and running people over 1:32:44.360 --> 1:32:47.759 and doing nutshit with people who are uneducated, need the money, 1:32:48.080 --> 1:32:50.599 don't have a fucking pot to piss, and the ice 1:32:50.640 --> 1:32:55.479 agents are getting a check for being dumb as fuck, fat, overweight, dumb, 1:32:55.600 --> 1:33:00.799 fucking teethless crackers and some other which. 1:33:00.600 --> 1:33:01.600 Is beyond me. 1:33:01.960 --> 1:33:03.799 Hispanic too, Hispanic black. 1:33:04.120 --> 1:33:07.280 You niggas really got you niggas. Look in the mirror, motherfucker. 1:33:07.360 --> 1:33:11.719 That's crazy. There's problems. It's not all it's the law. 1:33:11.760 --> 1:33:13.519 We can't rely on the law. No, it's because it's 1:33:13.560 --> 1:33:14.320 become beyond the line. 1:33:14.520 --> 1:33:15.920 Let me ask you, let me ask you a question. 1:33:16.400 --> 1:33:20.240 So it was kind of recorded to say recorded, we 1:33:20.280 --> 1:33:22.920 don't we don't know what the number is. So it's 1:33:23.000 --> 1:33:27.799 okay for the administration before to let in fifteen million 1:33:28.400 --> 1:33:33.640 undocumented people. Is that okay? 1:33:34.160 --> 1:33:35.439 I feel like God made the land. 1:33:35.520 --> 1:33:37.760 No, no, no, that's that's that's the quest. I mean, 1:33:37.960 --> 1:33:42.080 is it okay to have think about this undocumented you know? 1:33:42.240 --> 1:33:43.960 You know? Matter of fact, I'm gonna tell you a story. 1:33:43.960 --> 1:33:47.040 Matter of fact. When I was in Super Bowl, a 1:33:47.080 --> 1:33:50.200 guy gave me a ride. He was uber driving some turkey. 1:33:50.400 --> 1:33:52.040 He speaking, he was pretty good, and I asked him, 1:33:52.080 --> 1:33:52.880 I said, so, how long you have been in the 1:33:52.920 --> 1:33:55.519 United statesy I've been here seven years. I mean seven years. 1:33:55.880 --> 1:33:57.640 And I said, well, I say, do you like it? 1:33:57.640 --> 1:34:00.479 He said yes, he said yes. He said, I said, 1:34:00.479 --> 1:34:05.120 you have your he said, he stopped. He said, let 1:34:05.120 --> 1:34:09.520 me tell you something. He said, I'm not telling you 1:34:09.560 --> 1:34:13.599 what i've heard. I'm telling you how it works. He says, 1:34:13.680 --> 1:34:16.200 I've been here seven years. I just got my official 1:34:17.080 --> 1:34:19.679 card or whatever to be a US citizen four months 1:34:19.720 --> 1:34:22.479 ago today my daughter was born. To day, my day 1:34:22.520 --> 1:34:26.599 my dad died. He says that what they're doing is 1:34:26.680 --> 1:34:29.000 he says, I know for a fact because I knew 1:34:29.000 --> 1:34:32.519 some of these guys. He said, they let in thirty 1:34:32.640 --> 1:34:37.080 nine criminals from Turkey. He say criminals. He said, I'm 1:34:37.080 --> 1:34:39.760 not talking about He said, I'm talking about killers, criminals. 1:34:40.080 --> 1:34:42.840 He said, they got their stuff right away. He said, 1:34:42.840 --> 1:34:45.280 it took me seven years. He said, they're letting the 1:34:45.280 --> 1:34:48.640 criminals in. He says, that's not right. He said, I 1:34:48.680 --> 1:34:51.040 can tell he was frustrated. He said, that's not right. 1:34:51.840 --> 1:34:54.679 But this my question. I said, so, I said, okay 1:34:54.720 --> 1:34:57.559 to let in fifteen million. And I'm like going to say, 1:34:57.600 --> 1:35:00.759 it's no perfect way to do it. Do it perfect? 1:35:01.000 --> 1:35:03.920 But is it okay? Letting? And now And this is 1:35:03.920 --> 1:35:06.640 why I always tell people it don't affect you to 1:35:06.760 --> 1:35:10.080 it affects you if somebody would do something to you, 1:35:10.400 --> 1:35:15.080 Erica or my granddaughter, of my kids from undocumented even 1:35:15.120 --> 1:35:16.720 if here I mean, I don't give a damn who 1:35:16.760 --> 1:35:16.920 it is. 1:35:16.920 --> 1:35:17.120 I was. 1:35:17.280 --> 1:35:19.120 It could be undocumented, it could be an American. 1:35:19.439 --> 1:35:22.479 Either way, it does make a difference when it's it's like, 1:35:22.800 --> 1:35:26.320 this guy has a record of doing this in just 1:35:26.400 --> 1:35:28.560 say Russia. I'm gonna use that he has a he 1:35:28.600 --> 1:35:31.200 has a record of being a rapist and a murderer 1:35:31.320 --> 1:35:36.120 in Russia. But that's what I'm asking. But but, but, 1:35:36.120 --> 1:35:37.360 but what I'm saying is I'm. 1:35:37.240 --> 1:35:40.040 To say, but that that that that percentage is so small, 1:35:40.479 --> 1:35:44.439 that it is that percentage is so Smallida kids, and 1:35:44.439 --> 1:35:47.720 that percentage is so small, and and and it's and 1:35:47.720 --> 1:35:50.439 they use it as propaganda to then paint this picture 1:35:50.520 --> 1:35:54.840 that all illegal and that most of the illegal undocumented 1:35:54.880 --> 1:36:00.120 immigrants are our criminals are all these different things are, 1:36:00.240 --> 1:36:03.280 but have no problem putting them in positions in jobs 1:36:03.320 --> 1:36:06.280 that nobody else wants to do. And it's just like 1:36:08.720 --> 1:36:11.439 this is I don't know, I feel like I need 1:36:11.479 --> 1:36:14.000 more informed to I need to I don't want to 1:36:14.040 --> 1:36:18.880 speak and not have the right information. But no, I 1:36:18.920 --> 1:36:22.560 do not think that we should have fifteen million undocumented 1:36:22.600 --> 1:36:25.320 people in here. Do I think those fifteen million people 1:36:25.320 --> 1:36:28.360 are criminals? No, I do not do. I believe that 1:36:28.720 --> 1:36:31.240 there needs to be people need their due process, and 1:36:31.280 --> 1:36:33.120 there needs to be better laws in order for people 1:36:33.120 --> 1:36:37.120 to get residency, get their green card, all those things. Absolutely, 1:36:37.439 --> 1:36:42.719 But I think that this administration has villainized immigrants. And 1:36:43.280 --> 1:36:46.439 I think that the white agenda is so strong because 1:36:46.680 --> 1:36:51.360 they are actually the minority and they know that worldwide, 1:36:51.960 --> 1:36:55.280 and there's a sense of fear that has come into place. 1:36:55.720 --> 1:37:00.120 And I also think, Daddy, that you play golf off 1:37:00.160 --> 1:37:03.519 with a lot of white people that back to that. 1:37:03.640 --> 1:37:06.320 But there's a lot of whites and they be saying 1:37:06.360 --> 1:37:08.559 ship that might make a lot of sense to you, 1:37:09.200 --> 1:37:10.160 but it's not the truth. 1:37:10.200 --> 1:37:11.799 They don't bring They don't even bring up politics. 1:37:11.840 --> 1:37:12.360 It's not the true. 1:37:12.360 --> 1:37:13.439 They don't bring up politics. 1:37:14.720 --> 1:37:16.360 Can we just make a promise? Can we just do 1:37:16.439 --> 1:37:18.439 a promise? I need you to make a promise to me. 1:37:20.760 --> 1:37:24.920 Can you please, Daddy, for the love of fucking God, 1:37:26.560 --> 1:37:30.439 not talk to t m Z any more? Pinky promise? 1:37:30.880 --> 1:37:33.200 I promise I won't talk about bad bunny. 1:37:33.520 --> 1:37:35.800 You don't need to talk to about nothing no more. 1:37:36.479 --> 1:37:38.760 That is that is the lowest of the lowest news 1:37:38.760 --> 1:37:43.400 source ever since Van Lathan left. 1:37:43.560 --> 1:37:44.920 Let me let me, let me tell you. Let me 1:37:44.960 --> 1:37:48.559 tell you something that I know for a fact. Media 1:37:48.680 --> 1:37:49.639 cannot be trusted. 1:37:50.240 --> 1:37:51.040 Absolutely not. 1:37:51.320 --> 1:37:54.040 Politics came out, none of them. Politics came in. But 1:37:54.080 --> 1:37:56.559 you cannot trust the media because your dad has been 1:37:57.560 --> 1:38:01.679 part of that part. I've been villainized in the media. 1:38:01.800 --> 1:38:03.920 So I mean, I don't, I don't. I don't take 1:38:03.960 --> 1:38:07.920 anything they say as as gospel. My thing is is that, 1:38:08.840 --> 1:38:14.120 you know, I just feel like that, Yes, they probably 1:38:14.360 --> 1:38:17.040 skew the numbers for sure, but when you when you 1:38:17.080 --> 1:38:21.280 when you see Hillary Clinton, you see Obama, you see 1:38:21.520 --> 1:38:24.639 Bill Clinton talk about till I think it's two thousand 1:38:24.640 --> 1:38:27.200 and nine, in two thousand and twenty twenty, when they 1:38:27.240 --> 1:38:29.759 say the same thing that's happening right now, we cannot 1:38:29.800 --> 1:38:31.880 have the illegals here, We cannot do this. We have 1:38:31.960 --> 1:38:34.599 to deport them, we have to. I'm like, wow, now 1:38:34.600 --> 1:38:38.000 it's funny. I'm watching them say the same thing, and 1:38:38.040 --> 1:38:40.000 I'm not saying it's right by by. I'm saying keep 1:38:40.000 --> 1:38:41.720 this get this straight. I'm not saying it's right what 1:38:41.800 --> 1:38:43.639 that man is doing. By no means I think he's 1:38:43.640 --> 1:38:46.760 doing it right, by not at all. But how's it 1:38:46.800 --> 1:38:48.639 good for the goose? But it ain't good for the gander? 1:38:48.680 --> 1:38:51.080 That's what that's That's what I don't get. That's why 1:38:51.080 --> 1:38:54.559 I say the media you can't trust me. They they 1:38:54.600 --> 1:38:57.800 said it. Trump's saying it pretty much the same thing. 1:38:58.360 --> 1:39:01.840 But you know, it's just anything anything this man does. 1:39:01.920 --> 1:39:03.400 And I, like I said, I'm not in the politics 1:39:03.400 --> 1:39:05.040 because I'm gona tell you three things you can't agree on. 1:39:05.760 --> 1:39:08.160 You can't agree on religion, how to raise your kids 1:39:08.160 --> 1:39:11.519 in politics, those three you'll never win on. And so 1:39:11.920 --> 1:39:15.639 it's just it's just my opinion. And I mean, I'm 1:39:15.640 --> 1:39:17.439 not out of it. And you know, I'm a guy 1:39:18.120 --> 1:39:20.920 I've never voted. Never. I feel like it's a waste 1:39:20.960 --> 1:39:23.560 of time. You know. That's why I don't get into politics. 1:39:23.840 --> 1:39:26.160 I think I think all politicians are crooked is criminals. 1:39:26.240 --> 1:39:28.240 I think all of them are criminalist. I think Trump 1:39:28.360 --> 1:39:31.400 is crooked. I think Obama's crooked. I think Clanton is crooked. 1:39:31.479 --> 1:39:33.000 I think the Democrat Party is criokeet I think the 1:39:33.000 --> 1:39:35.800 Republican Party is crooked. I think, all I'm a crooked now. 1:39:35.800 --> 1:39:38.120 I believe that, and that's that's to me. That's that's 1:39:38.160 --> 1:39:40.840 my truth. I mean, you got people who won't talk 1:39:40.880 --> 1:39:44.120 to their family because you're a Democrat and I'm a Republican. 1:39:44.160 --> 1:39:46.920 How stupid that is ignorant to me? You think I 1:39:46.920 --> 1:39:51.439 will stop talking to you because because you're a Democrat, 1:39:51.920 --> 1:39:54.840 you'd like bad money. And I don't, absolutely not. I 1:39:55.120 --> 1:39:57.160 don't take it that serious. I think it's a fun 1:39:57.200 --> 1:39:59.240 conversation and something to talk about. Then if it gets 1:39:59.240 --> 1:40:01.720 too deep, I say, hey, these politics alone. I tell 1:40:01.720 --> 1:40:03.680 my friends, hey, let's get off these politics. Let's talk 1:40:03.720 --> 1:40:07.160 about something else. And that's it. So that's how that's 1:40:07.240 --> 1:40:08.640 that's how I feel. I mean, like I said, it 1:40:08.640 --> 1:40:10.439 ain't gonna never be done right. This this world is 1:40:10.479 --> 1:40:15.880 so corrupt, corruption, and it's all about money power, that's 1:40:15.880 --> 1:40:20.519 what it's about. And we know and we know, we know, man, 1:40:20.520 --> 1:40:21.720 we know, we know what I call him. I call 1:40:21.800 --> 1:40:25.600 him Mighty White Tea. You know, you know you know 1:40:25.640 --> 1:40:27.599 how he is. He ain't gonna let you take his power. 1:40:28.200 --> 1:40:29.800 Let me ask let me ask you, let me ask 1:40:29.800 --> 1:40:32.880 you this question, and this is one. I'm if it 1:40:33.040 --> 1:40:37.760 was all blacks coming in here, trying to come in 1:40:38.040 --> 1:40:40.960 from all niggas, you think that, you think they'd the 1:40:40.960 --> 1:40:43.280 houses and take them, take care of them for free. Hell, 1:40:43.880 --> 1:40:47.479 thank you. If it was just us, just but all 1:40:47.520 --> 1:40:50.120 I mean all us, they would be like shooting ass 1:40:50.200 --> 1:40:53.360 at the border. Ain't getting your black asser in here? 1:40:54.920 --> 1:40:55.200 Answer? 1:40:57.680 --> 1:40:59.840 Like what all that? Just like the at the White 1:40:59.880 --> 1:41:01.920 Hi when when they when they stormed the White House, 1:41:01.960 --> 1:41:04.599 if that was a bunch of niggas did that, it'd 1:41:04.640 --> 1:41:07.599 be they still be cleaning them up off the off 1:41:07.600 --> 1:41:11.479 the White House, damn right, whatever that does Congress steps. 1:41:11.520 --> 1:41:13.519 So anyway, that's that's how I feel. But I will 1:41:13.520 --> 1:41:15.080 promise you I will stay up TMD and I want 1:41:15.080 --> 1:41:15.920 be talking about bad money. 1:41:15.960 --> 1:41:17.679 I want it's recorded now. 1:41:17.800 --> 1:41:19.960 So there's certain things I'm gonna talk about now. I'm 1:41:19.960 --> 1:41:20.920 gonna talk about the NFL. 1:41:21.320 --> 1:41:24.280 Okay, fine about You have a Latina daughter, so I 1:41:24.320 --> 1:41:25.080 need you to chill. 1:41:25.240 --> 1:41:28.840 Okay, Well, thank you. I love latinos. 1:41:28.840 --> 1:41:31.240 That's the thing, daddy, you like Latina women. 1:41:31.840 --> 1:41:34.400 You're right. I love the women. That's that. That's the truth. 1:41:34.880 --> 1:41:35.680 You got that right? 1:41:35.840 --> 1:41:38.040 Oh my god, you lose them all if you're talking 1:41:38.040 --> 1:41:39.720 about bad money anyway. 1:41:39.439 --> 1:41:39.880 I'm good. 1:41:40.040 --> 1:41:43.320 I'm old now anyway. Thank you, daddy, baby, thank you, 1:41:43.360 --> 1:41:46.559 thank you for having me. I love you. Good good 1:41:46.600 --> 1:41:47.439 seeing too. 1:41:47.720 --> 1:41:48.920 I'm so grateful that you came. 1:41:49.160 --> 1:41:52.400 If anyone hasn't listened to our episode with Eric seven 1:41:52.479 --> 1:41:54.479 years ago, what was it called the groupies? 1:41:55.040 --> 1:41:59.439 The football parenthood and groupies. I think i'll put it 1:41:59.479 --> 1:42:00.519 in the Lincoln Suscription. 1:42:00.840 --> 1:42:02.360 Group of the group is ain't changed, it an't. 1:42:02.160 --> 1:42:04.880 Got worse anyway. And my daddy don't really. He has 1:42:04.920 --> 1:42:08.639 social media, but he don't run in He just posted 1:42:08.640 --> 1:42:10.400 Bible verses over there anyway. It's kind of. 1:42:10.360 --> 1:42:15.640 Boring over the curt on social Just notice that I 1:42:15.680 --> 1:42:16.320 don't see it. 1:42:16.880 --> 1:42:18.400 Every time I see a post from you as a 1:42:18.400 --> 1:42:18.920 Bible verse. 1:42:19.240 --> 1:42:20.200 You got it above him. 1:42:20.200 --> 1:42:24.280 Now you know where to find us at Good Mom's Underscore, 1:42:24.320 --> 1:42:28.040 Bad Choices on Instagram. Please check out the Good Vibe 1:42:28.080 --> 1:42:31.639 or tree we have to retreats coming up. You can 1:42:31.680 --> 1:42:34.400 follow me at Mila Underscore map. You can follow me 1:42:34.439 --> 1:42:35.760 at Watch Erica. 1:42:35.920 --> 1:42:37.040 And we'll see you next week. 1:42:37.960 --> 1:42:38.960 You can follow me at TMZ. 1:42:39.520 --> 1:42:44.640 Bye. Yeah, it is so good. Can't you tell? I 1:42:44.680 --> 1:42:46.880 went through a drought. That's until I found a well. 1:42:47.000 --> 1:42:48.719 May might have been known art that used. 1:42:48.600 --> 1:42:50.840 To be broken tail now got the blues hands and 1:42:50.920 --> 1:42:53.600 might be Yon say Jill throat shots from Pop and 1:42:53.640 --> 1:42:56.719 his car wearing our voices. Patriarchy catch it in the box, 1:42:56.760 --> 1:42:59.400 So what's spoil? Women put the p and powers, So 1:42:59.439 --> 1:42:59.960 what's pointing? 1:43:00.160 --> 1:43:02.719 They want me to be good, so I make that choices. 1:43:02.920 --> 1:43:05.360 Bad mom, not a bad mom, but a bad mom 1:43:05.479 --> 1:43:08.479 it he's in on the cannabis in her bathbon walked 1:43:08.479 --> 1:43:10.600 in Boston's cap and I blewis. 1:43:10.160 --> 1:43:11.320 Cat boss hot dog. 1:43:11.439 --> 1:43:13.880 Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie in the 1:43:13.960 --> 1:43:14.920 waisted straight. 1:43:14.680 --> 1:43:15.880 To it like a dollar sign. 1:43:15.960 --> 1:43:17.720 Mother, rent the lover when too what it is like 1:43:17.760 --> 1:43:20.160 a water summer where you're rent the winter essential will 1:43:20.160 --> 1:43:22.559 when the summertime? I do what doll ain't know one 1:43:22.640 --> 1:43:23.639 that needs to run it by