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Speaker 1: Hey, this is aam. This is John, your og Okay

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Speaker 1: Storytime podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy stories

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Speaker 1: coming up.

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Speaker 2: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,

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Speaker 2: just stick around for a two minute break with a

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Speaker 2: word from our sponsors.

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Speaker 3: I discovered intimate videos of my husband with another woman.

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Speaker 3: He then blamed it on me.

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Speaker 4: It's your fault that I'm having an affair.

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Speaker 3: My husband has had the same phone for an eternity.

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Speaker 3: He went from the iPhone eight to the iPhone fifteen,

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Speaker 3: and the guy at the store told us to sink

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Speaker 3: his old phone onto the MacBook and back up all

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Speaker 3: his old info from his previous phone. Problem is, when

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Speaker 3: his new phone was down backing up, he had photos

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Speaker 3: and videos from before our relationship. By the way, this

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Speaker 3: comes from scorpiosb ten on the Okay Storytime subreddit. He

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Speaker 3: had intimate videos and photos with a lot of other girls.

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Speaker 3: I felt so embarrassed and crushed. I know I should

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Speaker 3: have left it alone, but I asked to see because

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Speaker 3: I wanted to make sure the dates were from before.

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Speaker 3: I'm more of a chunky woman. I'm pretty short and

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Speaker 3: all of my weight tends to go to my hips.

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Speaker 3: I'm already insecure about my body and looks, but now

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Speaker 3: I'm even more unsre sure of how he feels towards me.

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Speaker 3: Some of these girls were really skinny, and the pictures

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Speaker 3: were just repulsive. He had videos of girls giving him

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Speaker 3: you know, and he had several shots where you could

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Speaker 3: tell he obviously propped up his phone. I know all

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Speaker 3: of these videos were taken before he met me, and

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Speaker 3: I know iCloud saves your stuff automatically to the cloud

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Speaker 3: when you photograph or record something while on Wi Fi,

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Speaker 3: but I'm still so furious. I can't believe he would

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Speaker 3: have all these women on video. This also has my

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Speaker 3: head spiraling because I don't know if he's bored with

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Speaker 3: our spicy sleep life. I honestly feel like I can't

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Speaker 3: compete with the things he had on his phone. And

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Speaker 3: he's brought it up to me before that he wanted

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Speaker 3: to spice up our spicy sleep life. But now I

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Speaker 3: don't think I even want to have spicy sleep with him.

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Speaker 3: All I can think of and imagine are those friggin'

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Speaker 3: videos he had. How could these women let him record them?

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Speaker 3: It's just so shameless. I'm honestly considering moving back in

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Speaker 3: with my sister until my head clears. He's a great husband,

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Speaker 3: but I can't deal with this at the moment. I'm

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Speaker 3: completely disgusted by him. I don't even want to look

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Speaker 3: at him. And then there are some relevant comments and

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Speaker 3: a little bit more I want to out there because

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Speaker 3: I don't want to like shame people who are into

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Speaker 3: filming people consensually. Right, if you're filming people and they

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Speaker 3: don't know about it, that's messed up. Don't do that

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Speaker 3: and illegal. But some people have a mutual agreement it's consensual.

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Speaker 3: They want to film stuff. Now, obviously, if you're moving

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Speaker 3: into a new relationship, get rid of that. But like

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Speaker 3: she said, this backs it up to the cloud. You

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Speaker 3: know what I'm saying, Like, if.

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Speaker 4: You're in possession of things that make her partner comfortable.

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Speaker 5: All right, get rid of that.

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Speaker 4: I would get rid of them stuff like that, going

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Speaker 4: back reminiscing on.

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Speaker 3: It, No, not absolutely. If he's reminiscing on that, that's

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Speaker 3: a problem. Yeah, but I don't know if we know

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Speaker 3: that he's for sure doing that, right, But.

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Speaker 4: He said it would spice up their spicy sleep lifeform.

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Speaker 4: That what she was thinking.

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Speaker 3: That's what she was thinking.

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Speaker 4: Gotchatcha, I would have a conversation.

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Speaker 3: Let's have a conversation.

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Speaker 4: I sure had clears Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Right, relevant comment. He claims he forgot them. Part of

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Speaker 3: me believes him because there are things that I've seen

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Speaker 3: him delete that showed backed up onto his phone. Also,

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Speaker 3: all his text message from twenty fifteen till now showed

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Speaker 3: up on his phone somehow. I really hope he wasn't

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Speaker 3: rewatching them, but from his reaction, he was more confused

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Speaker 3: than anything else. He told me he's deleted those from

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Speaker 3: his devices, but didn't know they were still on his eCloud.

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Speaker 3: I want to talk to him about it, but I'm

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Speaker 3: just so upset. Maybe I have to give myself a

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Speaker 3: couple of days to not blow this out of proportion.

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Speaker 3: See that's what I'm saying, Like, you do need to

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Speaker 3: take a few days, because I do think this might

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Speaker 3: be blown.

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Speaker 4: Out of proportion.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, as you guys suggested, I asked him to

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Speaker 3: delete them, and he didn't seem upset about it at all.

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Speaker 3: I can tell he was more worried about how I felt.

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Speaker 3: So we sat down, signed on to his iCloud from

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Speaker 3: the laptop, and we had to manually sit there and

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Speaker 3: delete over fifty videos and well over two hundred photos

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Speaker 3: of him and other women. All the videos seem to

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Speaker 3: be consensual, yay, So I'm not worried about him being

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Speaker 3: a weird, creepy guy. But it's still super weird to

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Speaker 3: me that someone would have videos of themselves having spicy sleep.

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Speaker 3: And this is what I'm saying, I don't think we

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Speaker 3: should shame people who were into that. It might not

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Speaker 3: be a youth thing, but some people are into it.

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Speaker 3: I'm starting to question it. My husband was a corn

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Speaker 3: star before he met me. Some of these girls look

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Speaker 3: like models and were taking the videos themselves. Why would

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Speaker 3: a lady do that? It just isn't morally right to me.

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Speaker 3: I asked if he was selling these videos, and he

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Speaker 3: reassured me that he would never put himself out there

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Speaker 3: because he wants a private life and wants to have

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Speaker 3: a family. Seems like you're like, shaming is something that

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Speaker 3: you don't understand, Like, op, that's just not something you

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Speaker 3: can connect with. That doesn't mean, you know what I'm saying, Like,

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Speaker 3: it doesn't mean.

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Speaker 5: It's a bad thing.

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Speaker 3: He had a stupid grin on his face and I

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Speaker 3: couldn't tell if he was joking. Or being serious but nervous.

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Speaker 3: He smiles when he's uncomfortable. And he told me that

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Speaker 3: he would ask me to delete anything that had my

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Speaker 3: exes in it, and he would want to watch the others.

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Speaker 3: I got more upset because I couldn't tell if he

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Speaker 3: was joking or was he trying to manipulate me into

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Speaker 3: letting him stay with some of them because they weren't

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Speaker 3: his exes. It bothers me because if he was being serious,

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Speaker 3: then he does not value women. Why doesn't he get jealous?

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Speaker 3: Why would anyone want to see their partner having spicy

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Speaker 3: sleep because it turns some people on. Everybody has different kings,

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Speaker 3: you know. I feel like he shrugged it off and

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Speaker 3: brought up the whole spicing up our spicy sleep lives?

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Speaker 3: Why now is he trying to flip this on me?

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Speaker 3: I could tell he was actually getting a little frustrated now,

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Speaker 3: But why why would he be upset? I'm the one

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Speaker 3: who just had to witness all this crap.

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Speaker 4: On his phone.

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Speaker 3: He brought how innocent I am, and that anytime he

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Speaker 3: tried to do anything out of the norm, I shut

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Speaker 3: him down.

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Speaker 5: He once asked me.

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Speaker 3: To let him you know up here, but I don't

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Speaker 3: see why anyone would get any pleasure from rubbing their

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Speaker 3: mmmm annamm, Like, why bring this up now? It had

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Speaker 3: nothing to do with the situation. His point was that

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Speaker 3: he felt like I was judging him. Yeah, because why

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Speaker 3: the f is there so many videos and pictures with

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Speaker 3: these women? He brought up how I made him feel

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Speaker 3: weird for liking feet. I don't understand how I can

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Speaker 3: make someone feel weird about something that's already weird enough. Okay,

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Speaker 3: olbe It sounds like you maybe like it's okay to

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Speaker 3: have your preferences, but some people have theirs, and let's

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Speaker 3: not shame people for their their case.

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Speaker 4: He's giving them more hard time.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, why does any think that's weird? I give him

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Speaker 3: a good time down there. I give him spicy sleep

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Speaker 3: regularly when I'm not feeling insecure, So I don't see

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Speaker 3: why he would feel the need to spice things up.

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Speaker 3: Does he want to record videos with us as well?

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Speaker 3: I don't know how I feel about it, seeing as

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Speaker 3: how many other women he's done it with. If I

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Speaker 3: was the only one, then that's different. But there's nothing

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Speaker 3: special about doing that with him because he's done it

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Speaker 3: so much. Kind of get that. I kind of get that.

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Speaker 3: If he's bored with me, why won't you just come

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Speaker 3: straight out and say it. I feel like at this

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Speaker 3: point he's settling to not hurt my feelings. I'm more

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Speaker 3: upset than hurt at this point because he tried to

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Speaker 3: flip things on me, and we're constantly flipping things on

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Speaker 3: y'all every weekday at three PMPSD. You can join his

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Speaker 3: live on our YouTube. Just tap our profile. I think

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Speaker 3: I desperately need to get away from him, maybe just

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Speaker 3: a day or two, and clear my mind. You guys

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Speaker 3: have given me a lot of good insight, but typing

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Speaker 3: this just infuriates me even more. I can't hold back

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Speaker 3: the tears, and I just keep getting flashes of the

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Speaker 3: pictures every time I look at him or close my eyes.

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Speaker 3: I can't stop thinking about them. So I just want

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Speaker 3: to give myself distanced to think clearly. I'll be staying

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Speaker 3: at my sister's place for the weekend, and I'll be

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Speaker 3: updating you guys when I get back home on Monday.

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Speaker 4: Nice. Nice.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I agree that seeing something like that

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Speaker 3: would also stay is stuck in my head and trying

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Speaker 3: to have spicy sleep with my partner after seeing that

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Speaker 3: I would need some time to process. But I don't

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Speaker 3: know if it's fair to hold it against your partner

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Speaker 3: or to sh shame them for what they were into

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Speaker 3: before you. And I think intimacy and compatibility, Yeah, they're

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Speaker 3: big factors.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, clear head, see how you feel about it. If

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Speaker 4: you're uncomfortable with it, try to work it out. Therapy.

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Speaker 6: My grandson's name, so I staged an intervention. I fifty

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Speaker 6: plus male, have a daughter twenty six female. He's currently

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Speaker 6: a TikTok influencer. Oh no, oh no, and pregnant with

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Speaker 6: a boy. She is obsessing with this influencing thing, everything

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Speaker 6: being about the numbers. Her husband has been evicted to

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Speaker 6: the attic okay because he ruins her aesthetic that is

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Speaker 6: for the videos. He isn't allowed to bring his items

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Speaker 6: or clothes outside of it, and whenever he as much

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Speaker 6: as forgets a cup on the table, she will scream.

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Speaker 6: My wife and I try to guide her into therapy,

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Speaker 6: and I've been paying for the appointments, but we do

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Speaker 6: not know if she has actually been going. Now she

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Speaker 6: is pregnant, which means it isn't just her and my

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Speaker 6: son in law's problem. It is also a problem for

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Speaker 6: my grandson. She wants no toys in the house for

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Speaker 6: similar reasons and has banned as for buying any. She

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Speaker 6: doesn't want colorful baby cloth because the baby will stand

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Speaker 6: out on her videos too much.

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Speaker 5: The baby's gonna upstage you. And then then there is.

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Speaker 6: The name Robin r A w p h y n

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Speaker 6: ny marve m A r v e I g h

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Speaker 6: Linter l y and t e r. And that was

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Speaker 6: for all the podcast listeners. That is Robin Marvey Linter.

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Speaker 7: That is the most atrocious spelling of any name I've

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Speaker 7: ever seen.

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Speaker 6: It literally looks like a keyboard smash. Why I appreciate

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Speaker 6: that the two middle names are comprised of the names

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Speaker 6: of both sets of grandparents, Marvin and Leigh, Lynn and Peter.

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Speaker 6: The amalgams are awful and Robin is her spelling of

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Speaker 6: Robin because she doesn't want her son to be a sidekick,

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Speaker 6: whatever that means. She doesn't care that he will get bullied,

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Speaker 6: that his name will be mispronounced, misspelled, and a nightmare

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Speaker 6: on any official capacity, that he will grow to be

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Speaker 6: an adult with the name instead of staying as a baby.

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Speaker 6: It was the last strong so I staged in intervention

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Speaker 6: after regular talking didn't work. I contacted everyone we both know,

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Speaker 6: and even posted on redditch to try and convince her

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Speaker 6: that it's an effing horrible idea and that she needs

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Speaker 6: to think of more than what will look nice.

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Speaker 5: For her tiktoks or get her more views.

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Speaker 6: She will have a child, and that child's needs and

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Speaker 6: well beings should be a priority. Naming him a ridiculous

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Speaker 6: word salad and depriving him of toys and joy is

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Speaker 6: not an environment suitable for a child. She called me

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Speaker 6: an a hole, and I called her delusional in return.

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Speaker 6: I really don't think I'm the a hole here, but

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Speaker 6: my wife's family seems to think I overreacted since it's

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Speaker 6: just a name. But if she's willing to do all

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Speaker 6: of this just for views on an app, what else

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Speaker 6: is she going to do to this child for the

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Speaker 6: sake of her influencing.

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Speaker 5: That's what I want to know. Am I the a hole? No?

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Speaker 6: Honestly, you need a step in here real quick. Figure

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Speaker 6: this out.

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Speaker 1: She's your husband, I don't know.

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Speaker 6: He just seems like he's in the attics. He's locked

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Speaker 6: in the attic.

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Speaker 1: Is anyone going to talk about that?

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Speaker 5: That's freaking up? What's what's what's the uh. Jane Eyre?

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Speaker 1: Was Jane Eyre in the attic?

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Speaker 6: No, his other wife was in the attic. I think

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Speaker 6: I'm not familiar. I think his wife was in the attic.

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Speaker 6: This is Jane Eyre.

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Speaker 1: I know someone who was in an attict but I

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 5: Think someone was in an attic. Edit.

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Speaker 6: Her and her husband have separated twice in the past,

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Speaker 6: but always end up together. They keep breaking up and

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Speaker 6: rekindling over and over again. They had an impromptu marriage

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Speaker 6: on Valentine's Day to heal their relationship as they now

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Speaker 6: have a child on the way. The TikTok thing has

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Speaker 6: been a frequent source of pain for them, and there

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Speaker 6: is an update. This is a bit anticlimactic. We had

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Speaker 6: a family meeting after my daughter's husband got off of

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Speaker 6: work and presented her the Reddit threads and as well

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Speaker 6: as some stories that people shared in the comments. She

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Speaker 6: was reading the comments for about an hour while they

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Speaker 6: kept pouring in and it overwhelmed her. Didn't help that

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Speaker 6: I kept responding to comments during this time, which was

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Speaker 6: stupid and inconsiderate of me. I did apologize to her,

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Speaker 6: but she doesn't have an inner to forgive me. At

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Speaker 6: this moment Sope, he's like reading comments where they're like

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Speaker 6: you can't have your kid on display online and hope

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Speaker 6: He's like, she's right, you.

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Speaker 7: Know, yeah, I just can't forgive you for having like

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Speaker 7: normal takes and for trying to like make me see

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Speaker 7: the light.

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Speaker 1: That's how terrible of.

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Speaker 5: It, how terrible of a father you are.

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Speaker 6: At first, she was very quiet before admitting that she

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Speaker 6: needed help. She said that she was struggling with feeling

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Speaker 6: fulfilled after her work was made remote back in the

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Speaker 6: original lockdown, and needed more things to do that separated

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Speaker 6: work from home. It's where the influencing came in. The

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Speaker 6: numbers going up gave her the same reward that work

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Speaker 6: used to, and she wanted to replicate it with a

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Speaker 6: mommy blog as her other ones stagnated. Her husband suggested

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Speaker 6: that she pick up art again and offered to buy

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Speaker 6: her art supplies. She agreed, Okay, she's finding new hobbies.

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Speaker 1: That's good.

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Speaker 5: She can be an art blogger.

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Speaker 6: Turns out that a lot of you were right and

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Speaker 6: that the names were inspired by Twilight renesme.

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Speaker 1: Wait, what how how were they inspowered? Chat? Can you

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Speaker 1: tell us how that respired?

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Speaker 7: So?

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Speaker 6: I really don't know She wanted to honor the grandparents,

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Speaker 6: which was nice, but couldn't think of any names that fit.

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00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,520
Speaker 6: She also wanted a bird name as the first name,

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Speaker 6: but didn't want plane.

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Speaker 5: Rob.

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Speaker 6: One of my sons suggested the name Adler, as well

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Speaker 6: as Arne, Arvid, and Ari from my sister in law's culture,

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Speaker 6: and she agreed to one of them. I'm not going

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Speaker 6: to reveal the new middle names for freshly discovered privacy reasons. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like.

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Speaker 6: I know, I literally told you guys the name originally,

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Speaker 6: but it was so.

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Speaker 7: I had to tell you I accidentally docked my baby nephews.

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Speaker 5: But it's fine because they're not using that a name anymore.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, but some of the comments in the tragedy side

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Speaker 6: gave her good ideas. That's so funny, it says t

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Speaker 6: R A G E D E I g H tragedy.

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Speaker 7: Just that's the way you spell tragedy, tragedy, tragedy.

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Speaker 6: My daughter seems so defeated now, but says it is

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Speaker 6: because she didn't realize how much the numbers on social

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Speaker 6: media were taking over.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 6: Finally figuring out, she agreed to delete the mommy blog

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Speaker 6: at her husband's request, and she said she will limit

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Speaker 6: her personal account to just the makeup and fashion content

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Speaker 6: she used to do. Time will see how this goes.

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Speaker 6: My in law is still apprehensive as he's had to

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Speaker 6: have been on eggshells in their home and isn't happy

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Speaker 6: about the TikTok at all with her past behavior. He

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Speaker 6: says he wants this to work, which is why he

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Speaker 6: married her despite everything that if she doesn't actually go

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Speaker 6: to therapy my wife and I paid for, he's going

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Speaker 6: to look at options or leaving, which is fair. I

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Speaker 6: mean he's been kind of pushed to the side this

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Speaker 6: whole time.

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Speaker 1: You get shoved into the attic. Yeah, it's tough. Somebody

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Speaker 1: can just go like dance, Yeah.

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Speaker 6: No, He's like, he's like in the attic and he's

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Speaker 6: just like mumbling to himself.

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Speaker 5: He's like, I think the apples right. He's like, can

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Speaker 5: I come out now? I practice all night? Please? I

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Speaker 5: practice your dances, lovely, please let me out.

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Speaker 6: Nelly Nell, She's she's every time she starts recording, she's like,

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Speaker 6: and what will you be doing? And he's like, I'll

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Speaker 6: be in the attic making no noise and pretending I

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Speaker 6: don't exist.

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Speaker 1: And holding my breath the entire time.

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Speaker 6: He wants to say to one of the commons that

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00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,880
Speaker 6: he isn't a wet blanket, but was just trying to

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00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,320
Speaker 6: keep his wife healthy for the sake of their unborn child.

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00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:08,360
Speaker 6: Some of the comments regarding how creeps use mommy blogs

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00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:12,120
Speaker 6: as material for their unsavory desires also was a wake

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00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:13,920
Speaker 6: up call for all of us. And none of us

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00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:18,000
Speaker 6: will post photos or information relating to our family children online.

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Speaker 6: You have to be very careful about posting kids online. Yeah,

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00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,720
Speaker 6: wife is taking her shopping for baby clothes sometime next week,

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00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,920
Speaker 6: and she managed to convince her that toys are not

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00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,080
Speaker 6: clutter but necessary for kids. She reminded my daughter of

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00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,520
Speaker 6: her own favorite toys and how upset she was with

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00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,480
Speaker 6: when one of them disappeared. So while I was an ale,

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00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,840
Speaker 6: it helped my daughter a little bit, Reddit helped me

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Speaker 6: a lot more. And I would like to thank you

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00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:39,920
Speaker 6: for indulging me in this.

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Speaker 5: And there is.

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Speaker 6: Another update, final update, But I'm glad that there's she's

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Speaker 6: turning over a new leaf.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she's great. She seems to be taking steps in

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Speaker 1: the right direction.

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Speaker 6: She's going to become like a self help TikToker. She's

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00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,800
Speaker 6: like I realized that TikTok was taking over my life,

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Speaker 6: and I'm going to help you guys realize that too.

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Speaker 7: Now she's actually going to turn the baby into like

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Speaker 7: it's going to be a ventriloquist TikTok, where it's like

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Speaker 7: she pretends that like you and people have like dog Instagram,

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Speaker 7: it's gonna be the baby's perspective on everything. But the

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Speaker 7: baby's going to be really wise and also seem to

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Speaker 7: have the perspective of a twenty six year old girl.

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Speaker 5: She should just do like a good Luck Charlie kind

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Speaker 5: of thing.

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Speaker 1: That's actually genius.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, because she can still use her baby, but she

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00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,960
Speaker 6: doesn't actively put the baby on display.

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Speaker 5: She's just like, good.

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Speaker 6: Luck, really, Robin, good luck, here's the post anyway for

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00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:32,960
Speaker 6: your entertainments. Since Reddit managed to successfully convince her not

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00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,080
Speaker 6: to use Robin, she is now asking for opinions about

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00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,840
Speaker 6: her tone down baby nameless that she has for future kids.

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00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,800
Speaker 6: I told her it is not a good idea, but

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00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:47,200
Speaker 6: here we go. No girls Laura Le Ashlyn Ashle, Juliet's,

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00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,200
Speaker 6: Julian Julia.

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00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:55,280
Speaker 5: Helen, Julie Lynn, that Ula Lal Jula Leylan.

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00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,160
Speaker 6: I think it's really because it's Opie says it reminds

382
00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:58,800
Speaker 6: me of Ukulele.

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00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,000
Speaker 5: I think it's pronounced Julie.

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00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,840
Speaker 1: Julia Lalen Julia lal.

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00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,920
Speaker 6: Girl went like she was like, yeah, you're right, I

386
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,520
Speaker 6: should realize that a TikTok is taking over my life.

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00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,040
Speaker 6: I need to take care of my baby. And then

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00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,640
Speaker 6: she's like, I've come up with a new list Julia Lalen,

389
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:17,400
Speaker 6: Julu Lalen, Boys, Martin Petron Carton. I have no idea

390
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,480
Speaker 6: what it's trying to be. Oatly Oatly, that's a brand,

391
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:24,520
Speaker 6: no free sponsors with a T. That is so funny.

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00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,640
Speaker 6: If she was like, I'm trying to become like an

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00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:30,440
Speaker 6: Oatly sponsorship right here, I'm gonna name my kid after

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00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:31,240
Speaker 6: him Oatly.

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00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,600
Speaker 7: Yes, please give us free oat milk huntry penty.

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00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,360
Speaker 6: By the way, you can join us live every weekday

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00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:39,320
Speaker 6: three pm PST.

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00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,000
Speaker 5: Just tap our profle.

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00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:42,760
Speaker 1: Yes, just our profile.

400
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:48,480
Speaker 5: I feel pr o e h p h I y

401
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,040
Speaker 5: l e E And you won't find us if you

402
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:51,800
Speaker 5: don't type in that way.

403
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the right way to spell profile.

404
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 6: No, they aren't typos. Yes, she still likes the double

405
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,320
Speaker 6: nd too much. Yes, I know the answer. My daughter

406
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:03,640
Speaker 6: still design opinions opinions, penty is there as a joke,

407
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,119
Speaker 6: as it's considered an old uncle type of name in

408
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,399
Speaker 6: her husband's culture, and I have some clients in their

409
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,720
Speaker 6: sixties with the name, but otherwise it's normal. She's doing

410
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,760
Speaker 6: well in therapy despite this setback. Her current baby is

411
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,359
Speaker 6: still having a sensible name. She has some normal names

412
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:20,119
Speaker 6: on her lists, like Jenna, Marcus and Ollie. So what

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00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,119
Speaker 6: do you think read it?

414
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,800
Speaker 7: I think if she wants an interesting name, she should

415
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:27,919
Speaker 7: just name her something like Irish. Yeah, like Ssha, like Schersha. Yeah, exactly.

416
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:30,720
Speaker 7: It took me so long to realize that it's not

417
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:35,440
Speaker 7: like pronounced SWARSEI yeah, it's pronounced Sarah, I pronounced Serisha.

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00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:35,720
Speaker 1: No.

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00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:40,280
Speaker 2: My husband left me during my pregnancy. Now he's blaming

420
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,240
Speaker 2: me for our relationship problems.

421
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,119
Speaker 5: I might be wrong, but it seems like he's the

422
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,320
Speaker 5: blame I think. So I'm confused.

423
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,480
Speaker 2: I'm in deep with my husband, but a lot has

424
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,760
Speaker 2: happened in our relationship, and I'm not sure what to do.

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00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,200
Speaker 5: Me thirty female and my husband thirty.

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00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,040
Speaker 2: Four male, have been together eleven years, married for almost

427
00:17:58,080 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 2: five now, my.

428
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,440
Speaker 5: God, we have three together.

429
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,240
Speaker 2: God, by the way, this comes from you slash brilliant

430
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:06,679
Speaker 2: links two four one two on the r slash. Okay,

431
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:10,320
Speaker 2: storytime separated it. So our relationship has always been a

432
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:14,960
Speaker 2: bit passionate. We have always argued often, et cetera. Over

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00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 2: the years, arguments started happening less. We grew into a

434
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,159
Speaker 2: really good team together, helping each other grow, finish college,

435
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:25,919
Speaker 2: find careers, savings, buy a home together, and raising our kids.

436
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,400
Speaker 5: There you go, there you have. It's going great. That's all.

437
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,320
Speaker 5: That's so we need to know.

438
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:32,639
Speaker 2: Right, he left our marital home and I was in

439
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:36,760
Speaker 2: my third trimester pregnant with our third child. His reasons

440
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,920
Speaker 2: were that I wasn't there for him enough, like giving

441
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:39,600
Speaker 2: him hugs.

442
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:40,280
Speaker 5: Background.

443
00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:42,720
Speaker 2: We also had a few years of bedroom issues because

444
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,360
Speaker 2: he wanted intimacy very often and I was closed off

445
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,920
Speaker 2: dealing with emotional issues. I had felt very emotionally neglected

446
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,320
Speaker 2: from early on in our relationship. For example, if I

447
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:53,840
Speaker 2: was crying about something he said or did, he would

448
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,480
Speaker 2: turn it around on me and basically tell me I

449
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,359
Speaker 2: shouldn't be crying because whatever it is, it's my fault. Oh,

450
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:05,199
Speaker 2: my goodness, that's just well, never good. No. Another one

451
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,800
Speaker 2: of his reasons was that I wasn't there for him enough.

452
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,080
Speaker 2: When he was going through gut issues background. It was

453
00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:14,080
Speaker 2: a confusing time. He had trouble eating anything and everything.

454
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,640
Speaker 2: He was trying to figure out what worked for him,

455
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,480
Speaker 2: and I just didn't know how else to help him.

456
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,640
Speaker 2: So I supported him by taking him to the doctors

457
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 2: for an endoscopy and tried my best to emotionally support

458
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 2: him and being listening here and be the one primarily

459
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,760
Speaker 2: taking care of the kit. For some reason, our arguments

460
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,480
Speaker 2: started increasing. His behavior started changing before and early in

461
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:34,439
Speaker 2: my pregnancy.

462
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,760
Speaker 5: He started talking to a female friend he hadn't spoken

463
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:38,120
Speaker 5: to in.

464
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:42,600
Speaker 2: A decade, oh more often via Instagram, DMS and over

465
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,720
Speaker 2: the phone, and we started hanging out with her and

466
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,119
Speaker 2: her family, but their interactions were always weird. She seemed

467
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:53,000
Speaker 2: flirty to me, touching him long hugs, smiling gaily with him,

468
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 2: and would DM him things like.

469
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,480
Speaker 5: I forgot how easy it is to talk to you up, don't.

470
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,080
Speaker 2: Talk to him, don't talk to and he would tell

471
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 2: her things like how her personality was nice, bubbly, and cheery.

472
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,679
Speaker 2: Then he started talking to girls at the gym and

473
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:11,159
Speaker 2: adding them on Instagram. These girls are gorgeous, by the way, No,

474
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:16,440
Speaker 2: I'm not too ugly myself, but they are younger, good bodies, etc.

475
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 2: He also started smoking and hiding it from me. I

476
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,639
Speaker 2: was more upset about the lying and hiding, and just

477
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 2: concerned about because I was pregnant and a baby was coming,

478
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,120
Speaker 2: but I was willing to learn about its possible effects

479
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 2: or how.

480
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:30,239
Speaker 5: To avoid it.

481
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 2: Then, after a stressful month for him at home with

482
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 2: our arguments, pregnancy, responsibilities at work, helping his parents, his

483
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,719
Speaker 2: persistent gut issues, and mental health, he left.

484
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 5: He just left.

485
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 2: He left during the pregnancy. Yeah, during the third trimester.

486
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 2: He slept in his car, stayed in hotels, and eventually

487
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 2: leased an apartment that he began to furnish. Meanwhile, the

488
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,680
Speaker 2: kids and I were left at home without his support

489
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,920
Speaker 2: at what felt like a very critical time.

490
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 5: I had a healthy pregnancy, but was very tired.

491
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,520
Speaker 2: It's had a busy schedule and I was working full time,

492
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,680
Speaker 2: et cetera. He would come and go from our house,

493
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,120
Speaker 2: sometimes taking the kids to school. We don't know when

494
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 2: to expect him or for how long. He was very flighty,

495
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 2: angry and argumentative, not all there.

496
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 6: That's so sad going on. That's so sad for the

497
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,639
Speaker 6: kids too, Like, ugh, they're just you know, they're probably

498
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 6: a little bit older. Yeah, probably got to remember this

499
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 6: time of her life when he was like going in

500
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,160
Speaker 6: and out right right.

501
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 2: As soon as he had gotten the apartment, I found

502
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 2: out via purchase notifications on my phone that he was

503
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 2: on dating apps. He was also following girls he met

504
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,199
Speaker 2: at the gym on Instagram, and out of mistrust, I

505
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 2: started snooping on his phone and found he had an

506
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 2: Instagram page dedicated to nearly an Instagram model.

507
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 5: Oh my god, wow Wow.

508
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,480
Speaker 2: He started watching corn regularly, and he started driving out

509
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 2: and meeting up with female friends from his past to smoke,

510
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 2: do yoga, help them move things, and go to museums.

511
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,560
Speaker 2: And I also found a poem slash a note about

512
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 2: a gym receptionist he had met and how he felt

513
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 2: for her and wanted to support her and her child,

514
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 2: and how he thought she was the most beautiful thing.

515
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 5: Ever, why don't we start with supporting your own children? Yeah,

516
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,240
Speaker 5: and writing a poem for your wife?

517
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 2: Hella left your pregnant wife? Yeah, what a poem for

518
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 2: the gym or stiles? Come on, this was all so painful.

519
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 2: During delivery, he was there, just like he had been

520
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 2: for our first two He was helpful, but maybe not

521
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 2: as sharp and attentive as he was before. I sort

522
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 2: of felt like I could have done it on my

523
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 2: own with the help of the nurses and the staff.

524
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 2: When we came home, he was helping me recover, cooking

525
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 2: off in and feeding me well and taking the kids

526
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 2: where they needed to be so I could feed and recover.

527
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 2: He would still sort of come and go, and he

528
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 2: was still making plans with other women and female friends.

529
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 5: Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all,

530
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 5: not a good sign.

531
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 2: I reached out to all of the women he was

532
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 2: interacting with and that I knew of from Instagram and

533
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 2: from what he has shared and what they have shared.

534
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 2: I don't think he has ever actually physically cheated on me.

535
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:04,639
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, got one thing right, a boor Sam Dior.

536
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 5: He's not even helping you.

537
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,199
Speaker 6: It's like it's not even a thing of like, oh well,

538
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 6: I couldn't divorce him because I didn't have anyone to

539
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 6: take care of the kids.

540
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 2: Yes, around five weeks postpartum, he found out I.

541
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 5: Opened a separate bank account.

542
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 2: I did this because I was tired of his apartment

543
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,119
Speaker 2: that I didn't consent to draining our joint account, plus

544
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 2: the frequent dispensary purchases, as none of it was helpful

545
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:28,399
Speaker 2: towards our family.

546
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 5: That's ridiculous.

547
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 2: That's such a good point. When he found out, he

548
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,719
Speaker 2: argued with me so badly. He called my parents and

549
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 2: kicked me out of the house. What he still had

550
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 2: his apartment. I felt uncomfortable with how he was acting

551
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 2: and didn't want the kids around him, so I packed them,

552
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,400
Speaker 2: our newborn and our dog up and my parents picked

553
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:47,920
Speaker 2: us up at least, so he's got her parents.

554
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's so nice. I'm so glad.

555
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,640
Speaker 2: He made me leave my car keys and house keys

556
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,639
Speaker 2: with him, so I don't have access to either. And

557
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 2: he left the kids' car seats at the front door

558
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 2: and made us leave as quickly as possible.

559
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:01,199
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, man, is what is going on? That

560
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,639
Speaker 6: is the point where he's like literally putting his kids

561
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 6: at risk?

562
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like that's insane. And for what for? Like cheating?

563
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:10,919
Speaker 5: Because you cheated?

564
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you cheated, Like, oh my gosh, maybe not physically,

565
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,120
Speaker 2: but definitely emotionally at the very least.

566
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 5: Or sure, it was awful.

567
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 2: We stayed at my parents' house for nearly a month,

568
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 2: but he stopped by once and got police involved. Him

569
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,639
Speaker 2: and my parents got into an argument.

570
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:26,400
Speaker 5: He wouldn't leave.

571
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 2: My dad tried to literally kick him. My mom blocked,

572
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,240
Speaker 2: but my husband said he was kicked. The parents say

573
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 2: that it was blocked.

574
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:33,399
Speaker 7: Ugh.

575
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,440
Speaker 2: We decided to try co parenting, where one parent would

576
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 2: stay with the kids for a week at home and

577
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 2: then we would switch parents. Eventually that got tiring and

578
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,719
Speaker 2: he just ended up back at home. And now we

579
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 2: are back home together after all of that. No, oh

580
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,399
Speaker 2: my gosh, I'm trying to give it a real second chance.

581
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,400
Speaker 2: My parents never want to see him again. Yes, understandably,

582
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 2: ry understandable.

583
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 5: He has a hard time.

584
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 2: Because of the incident on of my parents now saying

585
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,639
Speaker 2: that I didn't stand up for him. My dad is

586
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 2: not safe to be around. My dad has never been abusive.

587
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 2: FYI and I have a hard time because of all

588
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 2: the things that have happened, emotional infidelity, abandoning us, kicking

589
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,719
Speaker 2: me out, especially during the third most vulnerable time in

590
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 2: my life.

591
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 5: Yet literally hope he was pregnant.

592
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 2: Pregnant, like very pregnant, very far along divorce him, My goodness.

593
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 2: I try to not bring up anything or argue, just

594
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,400
Speaker 2: try to be a good wife. I work full time

595
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:28,160
Speaker 2: at home while caring for our baby.

596
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 5: I do all school.

597
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 2: Pickups, drop offs, kids, extracurriculars, a majority of all cooking

598
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 2: for him and kids, and much of the household duties. Also,

599
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 2: I'm enthusiastic intimately and consciously choosing to be kind, warm,

600
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 2: happy for myself and all of us at home. That

601
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 2: sounds so exhausting. Yeah, Like I'm exhausted just reading all

602
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 2: that too.

603
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 6: He's like, I'm doing literally everything, and I'm being the

604
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 6: perfect person and perfect wife.

605
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 2: Just so that he doesn't bring up it, yea, and

606
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,680
Speaker 2: so he doesn't start yelling at me. He does help

607
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 2: around the house and is being a better dad to

608
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,959
Speaker 2: the kids. He's also in school, working on his men

609
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 2: and has other projects he's working on. Things have been

610
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 2: calmed down for a bit, no more apartment and coming

611
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,439
Speaker 2: back up financially. Throughout these issues, he brought up divorce often,

612
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 2: almost as more of a threat. He almost filed. I

613
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 2: consulted a lawyer once, but neither of us have followed through.

614
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 2: We're sort of just back here with our messed up

615
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,880
Speaker 2: past right now, trying to move forward. Kids are all

616
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 2: still doing well and happy, So yeah, I don't know.

617
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 2: I just know that he still wants to blame these

618
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 2: things on me, But we are also taking a couple's

619
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:33,000
Speaker 2: glass and are on a trajectory to start marriage counseling,

620
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 2: sing well, I'm glad the kids are doing happy, and

621
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,080
Speaker 2: you know what could make you happy too is joining

622
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 2: us live on YouTube every weekday after hempst paper profile.

623
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 6: Cabit and I hope this lady divorces her husband. She

624
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 6: sounds so resigned to this situation. She's like, well, I

625
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 6: guess it's just this now.

626
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 5: Right.

627
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 2: For her final thoughts, she does say I still love

628
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 2: him a lot, and I want a life with him,

629
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,879
Speaker 2: even though it seems very difficult to do that, not

630
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,639
Speaker 2: with his relationship with my parents. I love who he is,

631
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,880
Speaker 2: his interests, and what he looks like, how he treats us,

632
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,639
Speaker 2: when he treats us good and et cetera, just not

633
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 2: the bad ways which she's treated me.

634
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:10,120
Speaker 5: That's a thing.

635
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,439
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's when you're in a bad relationship and an

636
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,880
Speaker 6: abusive relationship. There's got to be good times, but it's

637
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,879
Speaker 6: about like focusing on the really bad times and realizing

638
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 6: those aren't okay, those aren't normal exactly.

639
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 2: But I feel like I just need some validation and

640
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 2: apologies because I see changing him and.

641
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 5: I don't know, Ah, that's the end of our story.

642
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 2: But that like is just classic signs of an abusive

643
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 2: relationship of just like like you're staying with him because

644
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 2: you see changing him, and that's probably very valid.

645
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 5: Like the things you do.

646
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,920
Speaker 6: See, like you do see it, and they do make

647
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 6: the changes that he's back home, right, But that's not

648
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 6: necessarily like yeah.

649
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 2: And I feel like if she's waiting for future change

650
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 2: changes in him, it's like you just you probably see

651
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,399
Speaker 2: how that could happen, but based on his past issues,

652
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 2: do you think that actually will happen?

653
00:27:58,200 --> 00:27:58,680
Speaker 5: Exactly?

654
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,640
Speaker 6: It's like you can't just wait around and give him

655
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:03,880
Speaker 6: more time in your life when you're trying to take

656
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 6: care of kids and he's not you know, there for you, right,

657
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,120
Speaker 6: and like as a partner.

658
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, And like if.

659
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:12,639
Speaker 2: You're saying he like he's a good person, Like I

660
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 2: know he's a good person.

661
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,639
Speaker 5: I like it when he's doing good things.

662
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 2: You have to consider the bad things you have when

663
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 2: thinking about how good of a person he is, Like

664
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 2: it can't just be like, oh, he's.

665
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 5: A good person, like sometimes yeah, that's a good relationship.

666
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 5: Then yeah, that's no good. But that's the end of

667
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 5: that story.

668
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:32,159
Speaker 1: John here og host. We're gonna get back to these stories,

669
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break from as for our sponsors.

670
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 6: I want to divorce my wife because our relationship is terrible.

671
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 5: But she has cancer. Oh damn.

672
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 6: I don't even know what to stated that rough below

673
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 6: is a summary of a life situation I am living through.

674
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 6: I feel I have no one to talk to about

675
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 6: it and that no one would really understand if I

676
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 6: tried to talk to.

677
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 5: Them about it.

678
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 6: I created this anonymous account to put it out into

679
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 6: the world. I am not looking for answers or solutions.

680
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 6: I just need the release of getting it off my chest.

681
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 6: Thank you for a loile aowing me to do this.

682
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from Rare quarter four one

683
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 6: two four on the ar slash Shoky Storytimes Suburden.

684
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 3: So.

685
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 6: I am a forty year old man who has been

686
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 6: married for twelve years. I have two children, ages seven

687
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 6: to eleven. I own a business with my wife that

688
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 6: we started two years after she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.

689
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 6: Oh wow, which was four years after we were married.

690
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 6: We have grown the business to a certain point together

691
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 6: in March of this year, my wife stopped working suddenly

692
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 6: because of her disease and the medicine she was taking. Also,

693
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 6: she learned of a major surgery she was having that

694
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 6: was scheduled in May. The two children we have met

695
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 6: through the foster system and ultimately adopted each of them.

696
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 6: With her disease, we lost our ability to have children

697
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 6: and our ability to have intercourse. In addition to the

698
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,720
Speaker 6: loss of her physical ability to have intercourse, her disease

699
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 6: and the treatments have removed her hormonal characteristics that create

700
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 6: desire or attraction to me or anyone. When she left

701
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 6: the business, I was shouldered with performing her job in

702
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 6: addition to mine. It has been challenging and stressful for

703
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 6: me to handle not only the work, but the full

704
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 6: burden of supporting our household financially. In retrospect, I've been

705
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:07,400
Speaker 6: an emotional and physical health decline for several years. My

706
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 6: emotional state has been up and down with the result

707
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 6: of me not acting as my best self around my family,

708
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 6: my wife, and my work. I like to think that

709
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 6: I have managed well given the circumstances. I've grown our business,

710
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 6: stabilized the two jobs I am responsible for, become a

711
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 6: leader in philanthropy in our community, and I mostly show

712
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 6: up as a great father to my children. The last

713
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 6: two years have been particularly bad for me. The industry

714
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 6: we are in went into a period of decline and

715
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 6: reduced our business revenues substantially. I had to make some

716
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 6: very tough decisions with the business, and the stress and

717
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 6: weight of the decisions weighed on me constantly. At the

718
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:44,280
Speaker 6: same time, we purchased a new home, a significantly upgraded

719
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 6: and more costly home that we renovated. The last two

720
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 6: years living with me and what I have been dealing

721
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 6: with has been unpleasant. I would imagine, Wow, just a

722
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 6: lot going is a lot to deal with. It's like,

723
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 6: how do you I mean, like there's more to this story,

724
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,239
Speaker 6: but how do you even And I don't even know

725
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 6: how to handle this because it's like you feel so

726
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 6: guilty for thinking about divorce, right, but it's also were.

727
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 5: Doing terribly Yeah, it's kind of just like really bad timing. Yeah.

728
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 6: My wife and I have had challenges in our own relationship.

729
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 6: Once we had children and we worked together, there were

730
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 6: many conflicts that arose between us. I think our relationship

731
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 6: change from a marriage to a partnership where we were

732
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 6: united in raising our kids and running our business. Both

733
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 6: of us were very independent people when we met and

734
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 6: we were married. One of the most attractive characteristics I

735
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 6: saw on her was her fierce independence. My independence derived

736
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 6: from a drive to set my own path. At one

737
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 6: point in my life, I felt compelled to either let

738
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,959
Speaker 6: life come to me or to resolve to take control

739
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 6: of my path. The independence came from me choosing a

740
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:45,760
Speaker 6: path very different from anyone in my family or support system,

741
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 6: which meant I would need to figure things out myself.

742
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 6: When cancer entered our relationship, my wife, who was fiercely independent,

743
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 6: became dependent on me and those around her. She not

744
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 6: only lost control of her own health, she became for

745
00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 6: some time dependent on others. Especially when I process what

746
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 6: it meant for my wife to be diagnosed with serious

747
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 6: cancer and what it meant for our future, I jumped

748
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 6: head first into supporting her. In hindsight, it seems that

749
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 6: in one moment in my life, I completely altered my

750
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 6: life trajectory and began to focus on helping her through

751
00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 6: the cancer treatment and then the journey to become parents.

752
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 6: In twenty twenty, like the many other awful things happened

753
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 6: that year, my wife and I learned that her disease

754
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 6: has started growing again after five years of no cancer progression.

755
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 6: It was on my birthday that year that we found out.

756
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 6: It seems this moment became a turning point in my

757
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 6: relationship with my wife and also just to like point out,

758
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 6: this is like years of dealing with this cancer that

759
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 6: is coming back. Yeah, that's so hard.

760
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really hard because I feel like at that point,

761
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 2: it's like, you know, when you finish up with it,

762
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 2: you get more hopeful, like go, okay, it's done. Yeah,

763
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 2: but then the fact that it keeps coming back, it

764
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,480
Speaker 2: just seems like that would be so hard to keep

765
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 2: that helpe around.

766
00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 6: In slow progression. Over the next four years after the

767
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 6: cancer growing, there were three other times she found out

768
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 6: the disease was progressing. I cannot put myself in her

769
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 6: shoes facing a disease that will eventually kill her. After

770
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 6: twenty twenty, now she faced her future with cancer as

771
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 6: a mother for the first time. Our relationship was okay

772
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 6: up until that point. When you strip away intimacy and

773
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 6: spicy sleep desire from a relationship, it's like removing a

774
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 6: leg from a table. It is hard for the table

775
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 6: to stand up, and although it might be upright, it

776
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 6: lacks strength and stability. And after the second reoccurrence of

777
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 6: cancer after twenty twenty, her behavior is starting to change.

778
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 6: She owned her focus on our two children and their lives.

779
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 6: This is completely understandable when a mother faced with her

780
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 6: mortality in the form of a deadly disease would naturally

781
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 6: focus on providing a loving support of her children. I

782
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 6: think she began curating the children's life as happy, warm

783
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 6: and peaceful. She was working to create a life for them,

784
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 6: void of conflict, where she and they could experience warm

785
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 6: quality time. Over time, her diligence in creating this life

786
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 6: for our children started to alter her parenting style, specifically,

787
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:00,040
Speaker 6: her style of discipline change, and I was not I

788
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 6: not kept abreast of how or what was changing. Probably

789
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 6: I'm assuming she did not want to discipline them, Yeah, yeah,

790
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:08,240
Speaker 6: because she was like, I want everything to be perfect

791
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,319
Speaker 6: and happy, and then to only remember the best parts

792
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 6: about the relationship with me.

793
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, that's just so complicated and so heavy. Yeah,

794
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 5: and putting all that parenting burden on Ope. Yeah, yard right.

795
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,840
Speaker 6: In parallel to these changes happening, I was entering the

796
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 6: most stressful period of time of my life as a

797
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 6: business owner. I hadn't noticed it while it was happening,

798
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 6: but she began to drift further and further away from

799
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 6: me personally. The change in parenting style, my stress and

800
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 6: the change in the way we discipline our children started

801
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 6: creating conflict. My parenting style was consistent over time. We

802
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:41,920
Speaker 6: sought insight for my child's therapist on how to handle

803
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:45,879
Speaker 6: specific situations of discipline, and I followed this advice as prescribed.

804
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:49,239
Speaker 6: My wife chose not to. This difference became obvious in

805
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 6: her home because when I went interact with my children

806
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 6: in a time of discipline, she would correct me and

807
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 6: criticize me in front of the children. Oh wow, this

808
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 6: has been the source of ninety percent of the conflict

809
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,879
Speaker 6: in our home for year years now. Free clinicians, two

810
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 6: marriage counselors, and a child therapist advise that my wife's

811
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 6: behavior by criticizing my parenting in front of the children

812
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 6: was not appropriate. Nonetheless, she continued this behavior.

813
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 2: It's just kind of known that, like you can't like

814
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 2: if another teacher maybe messed up on something like maybe

815
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 2: just didn't give the right instruction or something like that.

816
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 2: You can't say that they did that in front of

817
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 2: the kids, you know what I mean.

818
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 5: It's like you talk to them about it and you say, hey,

819
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 5: I noticed this. Yeah, I don't have.

820
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 2: To undermine the teaching because then the kids will notice

821
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,360
Speaker 2: that and then start to think like, oh, there's problems,

822
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:32,840
Speaker 2: and then they'll get stressed out or whatever.

823
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 5: Like in this situation especial, that's yeah.

824
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 6: That's what's happening, especially when you also have the added

825
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 6: thing of them watching their mother go through.

826
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 5: This like disease. Yeah, like that's just hard.

827
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 6: Her method of correcting me and criticizing me and my

828
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 6: parenting in front of the children impacted my relationship with

829
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 6: my children. I reminded, begged, and pleaded with her to

830
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:53,839
Speaker 6: stop doing this, but the behavior never stopped or even

831
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 6: slowed down at all. It reached a point where I

832
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 6: felt so helpless when it happened. I would get enraged

833
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 6: in front of her at the kids. I would yell

834
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 6: and shout and use curse words in my reactions. I

835
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 6: would overreact substantially, and my behavior is regrettable. I never

836
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 6: physically touched anyone in my outbursts. I would refrain from

837
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 6: calling names, but I would yell loudly, and I would

838
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 6: direct my anger and frustration at my wife and the

839
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,520
Speaker 6: consistent bad behavior that I felt helpless to deal with

840
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:21,239
Speaker 6: through normal, healthy methods. These outbursts were not habitual and

841
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 6: would occur maybe once a month on average. When I

842
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 6: would have the outbursts, my wife would focus only on

843
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 6: my behavior, on me, and whatever the situation was that

844
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,440
Speaker 6: led me to parent, the children would be erased and

845
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 6: I would be the sole and only focus of hers

846
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 6: From then on, she attempted multiple times to record my

847
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 6: outbursts without me knowing, and my pleas for to stop

848
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 6: the bad behavior were ignored. My bad behavior did not

849
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 6: align with her vision of a house filled with peace

850
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 6: and kindness, and over the last year and a half

851
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,800
Speaker 6: she has become extremely distant from me personally. Over the

852
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 6: last two years, I have been struggling with stress, anxiety,

853
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 6: and mild depression. She became cold and disconnected from me

854
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 6: over time. In my lowest times over the last two years,

855
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 6: I begged her for support, asked her to show me

856
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 6: some positive support, some acknowledgment of what I do for

857
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 6: the family. I felt what I needed was a spouse

858
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:07,759
Speaker 6: who was in my corner and on my team. My

859
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 6: requests for support from her were ignored. I remember on

860
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 6: multiple occasions when she asked me, what do you mean

861
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:14,879
Speaker 6: my support? I don't know what you want me to do,

862
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 6: even though he is constantly telling me, yeah, that sounds.

863
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:20,280
Speaker 5: Like he's being pretty clear about it. Yeah.

864
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 6: This is when I started to feel slighted or taken

865
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 6: advantage of. I have been there, supportive of my wife

866
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 6: for goals, ambitions, and desire to have a family. I

867
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 6: often put aside my own needs and desires and support

868
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 6: of our relationship. I remained faithful to her despite having

869
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 6: the full desire for spicy sleep intimacy. I took my

870
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 6: marriage vows very seriously, and I feel I have lived

871
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 6: them to the best of my ability. Now, when I

872
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,400
Speaker 6: need my spouse, this person isn't there for me in

873
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 6: any way. In fact, she has become my biggest critic,

874
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 6: taking every opportunity to criticize my decisions, my behavior, and

875
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 6: my work and what I say. There is no one

876
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:55,880
Speaker 6: in my life that is more of a negative fixture

877
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:57,960
Speaker 6: than she is. She has become the very.

878
00:37:57,800 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 5: Opposite of what I need in a spouse.

879
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 6: Wow, there is a little bit more, But like pausing

880
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,759
Speaker 6: just to take all of that in because I think

881
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 6: at this point, I honestly think maybe separation is the way,

882
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,360
Speaker 6: like you can still be there for her as like

883
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 6: a friend, right, and as like as she's the mother

884
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 6: of children and like going through an incredibly hard time. Yeah,

885
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,440
Speaker 6: and I can't imagine how that, you know, because going

886
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,240
Speaker 6: through cancer and also if she's going through chemo and treatment,

887
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 6: that can change your personality absolutely, but that doesn't need

888
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 6: like if it is affecting you and your ability to

889
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 6: take care of your guysids, then it's like at that point,

890
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:39,239
Speaker 6: it's like, maybe separation is needed for you guys to

891
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 6: both function. In January, before she stepped away from the business,

892
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 6: she learned the latest reoccurrence of cancer growth and the

893
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,960
Speaker 6: impending surgery that would happen a few months later. It

894
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 6: was around this time when she started to change dramatically.

895
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 6: Before she was much more passive and negative treatment of me.

896
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 6: She was more of just an unsupportive spouse before January.

897
00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 6: After January, she became more assertive in her negative treatment

898
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 6: of me. She intentionally ignored me, taking every opportunity to

899
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 6: harshly criticize me, and has become completely void of any

900
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,919
Speaker 6: empathy for me as a person. I learned a few

901
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 6: weeks later that she was confiding in her friends about

902
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 6: me and our relationship. She would share only the negative

903
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 6: aspects of me and our relationship with those select few friends.

904
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,359
Speaker 6: Some of these friends were also my friends or even

905
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 6: family members. I started to notice that I was being

906
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,760
Speaker 6: treated very differently from some of them. I also noticed

907
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 6: that she was emboldened in her criticisms of me. Her

908
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 6: vision of what was going on in our life seemed

909
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 6: to be so narrowly focused on the negative parts of me.

910
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 6: There was no recognition of my feelings, the work I do,

911
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,840
Speaker 6: the responsibility I have, and the ninety nine percent of

912
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 6: our lives that I am supportive and a great doubt

913
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 6: but we You could support us by joining us Live

914
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 6: every week to have three PMP stages dubber profile.

915
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 5: There you go.

916
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 6: It's it's really really unfair for her to go to

917
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 6: your friends and family and put this all on.

918
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 5: You, right right, especially when they're his friends. They're his

919
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 5: friends and friends. It's just like, now, come on.

920
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 6: This continues today and I feel tru Because of our

921
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 6: business situation, a divorce would destroy us financially. It would

922
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 6: set us back five to eight years. My kids would

923
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,400
Speaker 6: not be able to stay in the school therein the

924
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,840
Speaker 6: house we live and would be sold, and the lifestyle

925
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 6: they live would be dramatically different, Not to mention the

926
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 6: division of time with my kids. My kids have become

927
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 6: my only source of joy and happiness in my life.

928
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 6: Removing them from my life at least fifty percent of

929
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 6: the time would ruin me. The trauma divorce would cause

930
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,840
Speaker 6: in my kids lives is lives is substantial, in my opinion,

931
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 6: an unnecessary trauma considering the additional trauma they will likely

932
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,799
Speaker 6: experience when my wife's cancer takes her life and that

933
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:36,120
Speaker 6: is the end of that story. Wow, but I think

934
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 6: definitely talking to a therapist about this, Yes, it is

935
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,440
Speaker 6: for yourself and possibly a couples therapist.

936
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 5: Yes, to work out how we move through this.

937
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 6: I mean, I totally understand the financial burden of divorce,

938
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:53,359
Speaker 6: but also it's like questioning, is your wife and your

939
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 6: like conflict? I mean, op, he said, it's not necessarily constant, right,

940
00:40:57,680 --> 00:40:59,880
Speaker 6: but like a lot of conflict is happening in your house?

941
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 5: Yes?

942
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 6: Do like I think that potentially could cause more trauma

943
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:04,280
Speaker 6: than a divorce.

944
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:06,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, honestly exactly.

945
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 2: I mean I feel like that's pretty common just in

946
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 2: any relationship, even besides like her having cancer too. It's

947
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,880
Speaker 2: like sometimes parents who stay together instead of getting divorced

948
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 2: is actually much more harmful than just having divorced.

949
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,279
Speaker 6: Parent because it's like, Okay, now we can be the

950
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 6: best people that are like possible for our kids rather

951
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:28,320
Speaker 6: than constantly you know, eating away at each other, right, because.

952
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,799
Speaker 2: Then they'll have the physical distance too, and so and

953
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 2: that always like calms things down.

954
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 5: Yes, absolutely, like I think that would totally help.

955
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,800
Speaker 1: I think so, Sam here og host. We're going to

956
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 1: get back to these stories. But here's three minutes fads

957
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:41,720
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

958
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 2: First, my fiance keeps using the laundry detergent I'm allergic to,

959
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 2: so I took him out of my will.

960
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 5: Damn.

961
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 2: My fiance and I recently bought a house together. We

962
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 2: got basic things from his family as housewarming gets by

963
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 2: the way, it comes from U slash lemindeb on the

964
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 2: our slash okay, story time sepread it. So his grandmother

965
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 2: gifted us a huge package of laundry detrogent. Now Here

966
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 2: is where the problem starts.

967
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 5: I am and.

968
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 2: Used to be highly allergic against most laundry detergents. I

969
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 2: am not talking about some uncomfortable itchiness or whatever, but

970
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 2: vomiting diarrhea, losing my eyesight, oh my god, hirely and at.

971
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:22,320
Speaker 5: The end of my consciousness, Oh my goodness.

972
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 6: Uh yes, so highly allergic, highly allergic.

973
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 2: I've been to the hospital for this multiple times already.

974
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,239
Speaker 2: We are using two brands I'm not allergic against. He

975
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:35,320
Speaker 2: keeps complaining that they don't smell good, which might be true,

976
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:37,279
Speaker 2: they aren't really fragrant, and I know he used to

977
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 2: drown his clothes and fabric softener to make them smell nice.

978
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 2: So I offered to slowly start trying new laundry detergents

979
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 2: because he keeps complaining and those two aren't easily accessible

980
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 2: in his home country, but definitely not in the foreseeable future,

981
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:52,440
Speaker 2: as I am eight months pregnant and very afraid of

982
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 2: possible consequences.

983
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:55,799
Speaker 5: We still have more than enough of the safe ones.

984
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 2: He agreed to slowly start using different laundry detergents, and

985
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:01,960
Speaker 2: I thought the topic was done, but then his brother

986
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 2: gifted us baby clothes. My fiance kept commenting how good

987
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 2: they smelled and how badly he wants our clothes to

988
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 2: smell like this, dude, I can't talk nice. It's nice

989
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:14,840
Speaker 2: when clothes smell nice, but it's also nice to have

990
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 2: a living fianza n is.

991
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 5: Alive, right, Like, come on, let's weigh these options.

992
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:24,239
Speaker 2: I sorted through them, and after I was around halfway done,

993
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:26,279
Speaker 2: I noticed that I felt kind of off.

994
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 5: My hands felt weird, my body felt wrong.

995
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 2: So I washed every body part that touched those clothes

996
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 2: and refused to touch them without gloves.

997
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 5: My fiance bought for me, so.

998
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 2: He definitely knows that I'm still allergic against some detergents. Well,

999
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:43,839
Speaker 2: he still decided to use the gifted laundry detergent on

1000
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:46,799
Speaker 2: our towels. I didn't notice until I started folding them

1001
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 2: and putting them away.

1002
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 5: I'm confused. Does he just like think that she's faking it? Truly?

1003
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,600
Speaker 5: What is he doing? I have no idea.

1004
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:54,839
Speaker 2: My hands started to get hot and kind of numb

1005
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 2: or itchy. At first, I was kind of afraid that

1006
00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:59,920
Speaker 2: I am now allergic against one of the safe ones,

1007
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:03,399
Speaker 2: until I noticed the gifted one was opened and kind

1008
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 2: of shoved into the corner. Our other two are also

1009
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 2: opened and readily available, So I just don't get it.

1010
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:12,600
Speaker 2: I texted him and asked if he used the gifted

1011
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 2: laundry detergent for anything.

1012
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 5: He said, yes, what's the big deal, girl? I think

1013
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:20,359
Speaker 5: you know what the big deal is, likely got her

1014
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 5: protective gloves for it. Like what.

1015
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,360
Speaker 2: I told him that that's not funny and he is

1016
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 2: potentially playing with the life of our unborn son and

1017
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 2: mine and why he thought that now, of all times

1018
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:33,840
Speaker 2: is the right time to test my allergy again he

1019
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 2: called me a drama queen and ignored me after so

1020
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 2: I changed my will. My fiance gets nothing now, either

1021
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:43,800
Speaker 2: my part of the house nor my other assets. Everything

1022
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,720
Speaker 2: goes to my son with my family as trustees until

1023
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 2: he is of age. If something were to happen to

1024
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 2: both my son and me, my cousins will be the

1025
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 2: sole inheritors. My fiance was originally meant to be the

1026
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 2: trustee with different guidelines to make my son's life and

1027
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 2: his pretty comfortable. So I trashed the old will, sent

1028
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 2: the new version to my lawyer to make him look

1029
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 2: over it and plan to get a notary as soon

1030
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 2: as possible.

1031
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 5: And there is an update.

1032
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 6: I honestly don't agree with this. I think you'll like

1033
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:10,960
Speaker 6: break up with him.

1034
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 2: I'm not opposed to this, but I see it's definitely not.

1035
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 5: Like the solution. Yeah, it's not all right. So now

1036
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,240
Speaker 5: for update. Hey, it's been a while and I wanted

1037
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:21,920
Speaker 5: to give you all an update. It's very long. Honestly,

1038
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 5: a lot has happened. I had a rather.

1039
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 2: Uneventful conversation with him after he returned home. He justified

1040
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 2: his usage of the laundry detergent with the presence of

1041
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 2: cleaning towels in between the normal towels. I asked him

1042
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:36,399
Speaker 2: how that matters. Well, apparently it's because I wasn't going

1043
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:37,879
Speaker 2: to dry myself with those.

1044
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:41,799
Speaker 5: But I wasn't satisfied with.

1045
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 2: That answer and asked about the normal towels, as there

1046
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 2: were only two for cleaning and over ten normal ones,

1047
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 2: and how the smell of the cleaning towels is even

1048
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 2: relevant because, like he said, there for cleaning. He didn't

1049
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:55,360
Speaker 2: answer and started ignoring me. That was answer enough for me,

1050
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 2: though I knew it was BS, but I don't know.

1051
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:00,160
Speaker 2: I had kind of hoped for a better excuse. Not

1052
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:01,840
Speaker 2: going to get a better issus than this guy. Not

1053
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,799
Speaker 2: really if he thinks that your allergy is like a

1054
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 2: lot play around with, Yeah, he's not very smart. Clearly,

1055
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 2: I was kind of withdrawn from him at this point

1056
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 2: and decided to watch his behavior towards me to figure

1057
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:14,839
Speaker 2: out what was going on. I thought that I might

1058
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 2: get an answer somehow somewhere, because he was my best

1059
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:19,960
Speaker 2: friend and I just didn't want to believe that I

1060
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:23,160
Speaker 2: mattered that little to him. The next incident happened soon after.

1061
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 2: Though I was carrying back a rather heavy drawer. I

1062
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,360
Speaker 2: had to deep clean it. Meal worms escaped into the enclosure.

1063
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 2: I'm using them as food for my spider. Okay, interesting,

1064
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:34,400
Speaker 2: cool A little side note. As the drawer was so heavy,

1065
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 2: I struggled a lot, but he was busy working on

1066
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 2: some shelf. I asked him if he could help me,

1067
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 2: but he didn't react, so I asked him where should

1068
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 2: I put the drawer, As he was sitting in front

1069
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 2: of the shelf thingy where it belongs.

1070
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 5: He told me to just put it on the floor.

1071
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:46,640
Speaker 5: So I did.

1072
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 2: What I didn't see in time, though, was my car trup.

1073
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 2: I put the drawer on the vacuum tube. Nothing broke,

1074
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:54,319
Speaker 2: and even if it's mine, he wasn't using it at

1075
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:56,360
Speaker 2: the moment or anything. It was just laying in the

1076
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,720
Speaker 2: middle of the room. He lost his crap. He asked

1077
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:01,720
Speaker 2: me if I can't even use my one brain cell

1078
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:03,720
Speaker 2: and other stuff, implying I'm dumb.

1079
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 6: That hurt the audacity to imply she's dumb. Yeah, when

1080
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,960
Speaker 6: you're the one like putting her life at risk with

1081
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 6: her like bented things right, but.

1082
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 2: Also like you're blocking the way to the correct placement

1083
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 2: of this drawer and already pregnant.

1084
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:24,359
Speaker 5: She's eight months pregnant. Baby brain is a real thing.

1085
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 5: She might not be able to see where it is.

1086
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:30,040
Speaker 6: Yes, she might have a big belly, yes, and a

1087
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 6: big drawer carrying yeah, like in her hands more than

1088
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:34,720
Speaker 6: I would like to admit.

1089
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 2: I started silently crying and went to the living room.

1090
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 2: He followed me quite some time later, got upset with

1091
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 2: me because I was still sad, and said it was

1092
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 2: just a joke. I told him I didn't find it

1093
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 2: funny and it hurt me. If he could just apologize,

1094
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:51,680
Speaker 2: please spoiler. He did not, just said it was a joke,

1095
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 2: and we haven't had an argument before, so he didn't

1096
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 2: say it out of spite, but in a joking manner.

1097
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 2: I wish I could say it stopped there, but I

1098
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 2: fell and had mild cramps in a bloody me. Oh no,

1099
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 2: I called him on the phone because I don't have

1100
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:08,000
Speaker 2: any friends in this country yet and he was the

1101
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 2: only one available.

1102
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:11,360
Speaker 5: Plus I knew his boss would let him go as

1103
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:14,879
Speaker 5: he's your fiance and the father of your child, right like.

1104
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,160
Speaker 2: He's the one to be there, as he is a

1105
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 2: very kind man and he was supposed to end his

1106
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 2: work day thirty minutes from then. Anyway, that's what he

1107
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,160
Speaker 2: had told me. At least I called him, but he

1108
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:27,240
Speaker 2: didn't pick up. I texted him. He didn't read my messages.

1109
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 2: He came home an hour late from work, and he

1110
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:32,879
Speaker 2: wasn't at work. He was visiting a friend whom he

1111
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 2: gave the laundry detergent to ah.

1112
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:37,800
Speaker 5: Interesting. Interesting.

1113
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:40,360
Speaker 2: He helped me, but even the stranger would have been kinder.

1114
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,719
Speaker 2: And told me to just lay down as I am

1115
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:46,160
Speaker 2: too dumb to walk endangering our son's life. I just

1116
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 2: wanted to take a nap and lay down on the

1117
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 2: couch as it is way closer than the bedroom.

1118
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 5: He started to vacuum the house. What but I just napping.

1119
00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:56,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I did it yesterday and mopped the floor so

1120
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 2: there wasn't a lot. But he spent forty plus minutes

1121
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:01,920
Speaker 2: vacuuming right next to me, walking on purpose.

1122
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:02,359
Speaker 5: For sure.

1123
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 2: He was walking in circles, cleaning the same spots over

1124
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:07,839
Speaker 2: and over, humbling about how I didn't clean today and

1125
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 2: how I'm such a messy person.

1126
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:12,480
Speaker 5: Yes, I do like to leave my shirt occasionally on.

1127
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 2: A chair, but I've cleaned every day since I've been

1128
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:17,279
Speaker 2: on maternity leave and before that too.

1129
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:21,320
Speaker 5: Oh, break up, break up, lea please please.

1130
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 2: I would be comfortable with visitors at any given hour.

1131
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:27,320
Speaker 2: After he finished vacuuming, he asked me about some mop

1132
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 2: parts his grandma his grandmother, put in our house weeks ago,

1133
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:32,279
Speaker 2: asking me what am I doing with them?

1134
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 5: I still don't understand what he meant by that.

1135
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:36,360
Speaker 2: I told him that his grandma put them next to

1136
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 2: the vacuum cleaner so much too.

1137
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 5: I never clean and can't do anything right. If he

1138
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 5: would have ever.

1139
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:42,840
Speaker 2: Decided to vacuum in the last weeks, he would have

1140
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,319
Speaker 2: noticed them. But he decided to vacuum while I was

1141
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:46,399
Speaker 2: doing badly and just.

1142
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:50,600
Speaker 5: Needed a nap. Please, please time in a place. Please

1143
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 5: break up with them. This is exhausting, so horrible to you. Yes,

1144
00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:57,839
Speaker 5: and they're about to have a kid like any day now.

1145
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:01,880
Speaker 2: Y Yeah, that's so sad. He just doesn't like me anymore.

1146
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:04,240
Speaker 2: I am heartbroken to say that, but he truly doesn't.

1147
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:06,680
Speaker 2: At least our cat and dog have picked up on that.

1148
00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:09,440
Speaker 2: Our cat keeps his distance from him now and doesn't

1149
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 2: want to be pet and bites and scratches him when

1150
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 2: he tries to go up with him. My beloved dog

1151
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:17,240
Speaker 2: keeps himself between me and him and follows me around

1152
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:18,399
Speaker 2: and tries to avoid him.

1153
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 6: Whoa's you know you're doing something wrong with the pets, sir.

1154
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, While he still wags his tail when he comes home,

1155
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:28,360
Speaker 2: it's just not the same, just not the same. I

1156
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:30,800
Speaker 2: don't know how to describe it. But I don't recognize

1157
00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:33,160
Speaker 2: him anymore, and the animals can feel his anger too.

1158
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 2: He looks at me with such contempt and is very

1159
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,280
Speaker 2: mean towards me. I thought he would be my forever,

1160
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,360
Speaker 2: but he won't be. He is punching our walls.

1161
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 6: Oh my god, get out of there, Out of there,

1162
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:43,799
Speaker 6: Get out of there.

1163
00:50:44,239 --> 00:50:47,360
Speaker 2: He is hiding his phone. I am still sad and tired.

1164
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 2: I don't even have the energy to go through his

1165
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:52,840
Speaker 2: phone because even if there would be answers to his behavior,

1166
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:54,160
Speaker 2: I just don't care anymore.

1167
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 5: I'm just sad. Get out of there, regardless if he

1168
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:57,840
Speaker 5: was shooting or not. Get out of there.

1169
00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:01,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's punching your walls. Yeah, like that's again just

1170
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 2: through safety is just like not guaranteed with this man.

1171
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 5: No, not at all. I gave him the engagement ring back.

1172
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:11,799
Speaker 2: Good. He didn't seem to care. Please please leave, But

1173
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:14,839
Speaker 2: you know what, you could always care about joining us

1174
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 2: live on YouTube every weekday at three pm PST. Just

1175
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:22,320
Speaker 2: tap our profile. My car battery doesn't work at the moment,

1176
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 2: so I will have to figure that out. As some

1177
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,600
Speaker 2: of you guests, I am indeed from Germany, while he

1178
00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 2: is from a neighboring country. I am seven hours away

1179
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 2: from my family and about three hours from the border

1180
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 2: by car, so I don't have to fly. Luckily, I'm

1181
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 2: sleeping in the guest room on a couch for the

1182
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:39,640
Speaker 2: time being. My ex fiance seems very content with that now.

1183
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:42,319
Speaker 2: He is just on his phone constantly and leaves me

1184
00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 2: be for the most part. Thank you for all your input,

1185
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,279
Speaker 2: kind words and dms. For all the people who claim

1186
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:49,959
Speaker 2: this is fake, believe me, I wish it was. Oh

1187
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,720
Speaker 2: that is so sad. This is really really sad.

1188
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:56,399
Speaker 6: He's like very clearly cheating and he's putting it all

1189
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:59,319
Speaker 6: on her and projecting and lashing out at her in

1190
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 6: horrible way. Is inside like taking responsibility and be like, hey,

1191
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:04,080
Speaker 6: this relationship isn't working.

1192
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:07,279
Speaker 2: No exactly, like oh, I'm just not staying hosted. Like

1193
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 2: there's such a healthier way you can go about all that,

1194
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:12,200
Speaker 2: Like you don't have to punch.

1195
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 5: Walls, and like, shockingly, you don't have to punch walls.

1196
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:17,160
Speaker 2: Don't have to punch walls, and you don't have to

1197
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 2: ignore your wife's deadly allergy because what please don't do that.

1198
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:25,280
Speaker 5: Why would you do that? I don't understand. That's just wow.

1199
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:27,600
Speaker 5: But that is the end of that story. It's glad

1200
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:30,000
Speaker 5: she's getting out, she's getting out of there. Yeah, yes,

1201
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 5: but thank you for joining us. We love you and

1202
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:33,440
Speaker 5: see you tomorrow.