1 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,440 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of couch 2 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 1: Talks on a therapy podcast. My name is Kat. I 3 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,360 Speaker 1: am the host and if you are new and don't 4 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 1: know what couch Talks is, it is the special bonus 5 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:26,000 Speaker 1: episode of You Need Therapy where I answer questions that 6 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 1: listeners send to me and you can send those to 7 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 1: Catherine at you Need Therapy podcast dot com. Now quick reminder, 8 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,840 Speaker 1: although I am answering your questions today, this podcast still 9 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: does not serve as a replacement or a substitute for 10 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:44,199 Speaker 1: any actual mental health services. However, we always hope that 11 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:47,159 Speaker 1: it can help you in some way. Another reminder that 12 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,560 Speaker 1: these questions are always kept anonymous. So if you want 13 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: to send in your question but you're worried about somebody 14 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: hearing it, you get to know that I'll read it 15 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 1: as you write it, and I will not read your 16 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: name or any information that is identifying that is in 17 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: this email unless you want me to read it and 18 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,400 Speaker 1: you specifically write that. And as part of the actual 19 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,399 Speaker 1: bulk of the question, basically, I'm not going to say 20 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,400 Speaker 1: your name, even if you asked me to, I probably 21 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: won't say your name. Now we usually do one question. 22 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,319 Speaker 1: I am going to just get into it. This question 23 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 1: is interesting and I am curious how many of you 24 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 1: have experienced something like this, So let's just get into it. 25 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,400 Speaker 1: I'm going to read the email and then we will 26 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,959 Speaker 1: talk about it. Hey, kat, I had an awkward experience 27 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,319 Speaker 1: with my therapist and I wanted to get your take 28 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: on it because I feel too uncomfortable to go back 29 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: and see her after this happened. It probably isn't a 30 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,960 Speaker 1: big deal, but I am cringing even writing this email. 31 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 1: About two weeks ago, I was out with my friends 32 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: and I ran into my therapist in the bathroom. I 33 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: was waiting in line at a bar with my friend 34 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 1: and in full disclosure, I was drunk and probably being obnoxious, 35 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,560 Speaker 1: and then my therapist walked out of the stall right 36 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 1: in front of me. I don't remember what I did, 37 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,800 Speaker 1: but she didn't acknowledge or speak to me, and I 38 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,359 Speaker 1: know that I did not speak to her. I can 39 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: only describe this as being so weird and uncomfortable, and 40 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: now I want to get a new therapist. So my 41 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 1: question to you is should I should I get a 42 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: new therapist or should I go back to therapy and 43 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: talk about this experience? Thank you? So I also, I'm 44 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,639 Speaker 1: going to add another So you asked, should I get 45 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 1: a new therapist, should I go back to my therapist 46 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,840 Speaker 1: and talk about this, or I mean a third option 47 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: would be should you go back to therapy and act 48 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:44,359 Speaker 1: like it never happened. Now. I don't know how often 49 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: people run into their therapists at bars, but running into 50 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 1: your therapists in the wilder and real life happens pretty often, 51 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: especially depending on where you live. I guess in New 52 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,640 Speaker 1: York City it might be a little bit more difficult 53 00:02:57,639 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 1: to turn into your therapist because it's just like a 54 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: bigger but especially in towns that are smaller, it's sometimes 55 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: hard not to run into your therapist out in the world. Regardless, 56 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 1: I still think seeing your therapists in the world can 57 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 1: be a little bit jarring. You just don't expect it 58 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: to happen, and sometimes you forget that your therapist is 59 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: a person that you know needs to go to target, 60 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 1: needs to go to the grocery store, and might often 61 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 1: go to bars as well, and goes to concerts and 62 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 1: listen to music that you might listen to too. So 63 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: it isn't strange to run into your therapist in real 64 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 1: life because they are real people that experience real things, 65 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: but it still can feel uncomfortable. And I mean, I'll 66 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 1: speak from myself as the client perspective. The last time 67 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 1: I ran into my therapist in real life was in 68 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: a Trader Joe's and it was one of those things 69 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 1: that was like, oh, dang it, I don't really want 70 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: to stop and talk to her, but I also like 71 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,760 Speaker 1: don't want to like not say anything, so I did 72 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 1: some small talk. But then it's just it's just a 73 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: weird experience because it just is in its nature. So 74 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 1: I want to just validate that for you now for 75 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 1: people that may not know this, and I don't know. 76 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: I'm assuming you know this, but maybe you don't as well, 77 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 1: so I want to share it. When you are a therapist, 78 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 1: So me is a therapist. If I see a client 79 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 1: in the real world outside of my office, I am 80 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: not allowed per hip hop to acknowledge my client unless 81 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 1: my client acknowledges me first, then I can say hi. 82 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 1: But if I say high first, I'm basically breaking confidentiality. 83 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 1: So if you ever see your therapist and they don't 84 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,599 Speaker 1: say hi to you, it is because they are not 85 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,840 Speaker 1: allowed to say hi to you unless you say hi 86 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: to them. So when I saw my therapists and Trader Joe's, 87 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: if I didn't say anything, she would not be allowed 88 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: to say anything, even if I walked right past her 89 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:49,360 Speaker 1: and made eye contact. So there's a couple of reasons 90 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,600 Speaker 1: you might not want to acknowledge your therapist in the 91 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 1: real world, and I think that's totally respectable and understandable. 92 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,720 Speaker 1: If you are with a friend or a partner or 93 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,920 Speaker 1: just anybody and you don't want to have to explain 94 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:03,960 Speaker 1: if I say hi to you and you don't have 95 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 1: to explain that's my therapist. If you don't want to 96 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 1: have to make something up, if you don't want to 97 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: have to introduce me to somebody. I mean, maybe I 98 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 1: see my client and she's with this guy or partner 99 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 1: of hers that we have agreed in therapy is unhealthy, 100 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,240 Speaker 1: and maybe you were playing on breaking up with this person, 101 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: and then you have some shame around not doing that 102 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: and you don't want to have to acknowledge. I mean, 103 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 1: there's so many reasons that your personal life gets to 104 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 1: be your personal life and I don't get to have 105 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:36,080 Speaker 1: I mean, I would hope my clients share with me 106 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 1: the truth and the reality of things, but I totally 107 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 1: understand not wanting me to have more information than you 108 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 1: feel comfortable, and not wanting me to be in your 109 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 1: real life. Right. That's why we even have therapists with 110 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:53,480 Speaker 1: boundaries around dual relationships, because we want an unbiased person 111 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: outside of your life to go and talk to and 112 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: process things with. So, just in case anybody didn't know that, 113 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: a therapist cannot acknowledge you unless you acknowledge them. I 114 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,160 Speaker 1: tell that to most of my clients in our first 115 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: session because it can be confusing, especially if somebody's like, oh, 116 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 1: this is my therapist and like wants to say hi 117 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,160 Speaker 1: to you, It can be confusing why I didn't at 118 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:20,359 Speaker 1: first acknowledge them when I saw them. So I always 119 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,800 Speaker 1: share that in the beginning. So I will say that 120 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:27,400 Speaker 1: is why your therapist didn't just say hey girl from 121 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 1: the start when she opened the door. She's following your 122 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 1: lead essentially, and it sounds like you did not say 123 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,599 Speaker 1: hi to your therapist, which makes sense and is totally 124 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,919 Speaker 1: You're right. And you know, if I was out with 125 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 1: my friends drinking, I probably wouldn't do that either, because 126 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,480 Speaker 1: I would want to be able to have my separate 127 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: night and then we can go talk about that in 128 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: our session the next time I see them. Now, what 129 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 1: you're saying is you feel so uncomfortable and cringey and 130 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,239 Speaker 1: awkward and weird. And I don't know if that's because 131 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: nobody said hi, or because of a part where you 132 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,719 Speaker 1: were saying I was drunk and probably being obnoxious. And 133 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:06,279 Speaker 1: maybe there's some shame and embarrassment around her seeing you 134 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 1: in an environment like that. Maybe there's some shame around 135 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: drinking in general. I don't know if you are somebody 136 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 1: who's sober has been processing your drinking with your therapist, 137 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: or if there's a part of you that doesn't think 138 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 1: you should be drinking, or thinks drinking is bad, or 139 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 1: thinks there's something wrong with being drunk with your friends 140 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: at a bar, Like there's so many things inside of 141 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 1: that that I think are speaking into this cringe and 142 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:36,520 Speaker 1: embarrassment you feel. I can say, on a basic level, 143 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 1: outside of your experience, it's not that crazy that your 144 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: therapist saw you drunk, because I think she's probably seen 145 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: drunk people before, And it doesn't have to be anything 146 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: bigger or more than that, unless there is more than that, 147 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 1: which is something you guys can talk about in a 148 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 1: session together. You're shame around it, your embar around it. 149 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 1: I don't know if you present one way in a 150 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 1: session and you want her to have a certain view 151 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 1: of you, and that you don't do that, and that's 152 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 1: information for you to process in a session like Okay, 153 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: what are the feelings and the stories around the idea 154 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 1: you want your therapist to have about you, and how 155 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 1: did that experience bump up against that and maybe threaten that. 156 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 1: So I think you can do whatever you want. You 157 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: can get a new therapist. It's not going to be 158 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 1: the end of the world. You can talk about it 159 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 1: with your therapist. That could be really helpful, even though 160 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 1: it might be uncomfortable. I do think your therapist is 161 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,720 Speaker 1: probably going to acknowledge it, even if you don't. So 162 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,320 Speaker 1: that third option that I threw in there probably was 163 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: kind of a mute point. But if this relationship with 164 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 1: your therapist is important to you and you value it, 165 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,839 Speaker 1: and you have a long standing relationship and you've been 166 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 1: doing really good work with your therapist, I would sit 167 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,320 Speaker 1: with this for a second before you decide to just 168 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 1: jump ship. There are a lot of things in our 169 00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: lives that we have to confront and acknowledge that are uncomfortable, 170 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,320 Speaker 1: And what better way to practice that than doing that 171 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,680 Speaker 1: with your actual therapist who is set up to be 172 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,199 Speaker 1: a safe person that you get to practice how you 173 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,599 Speaker 1: want to live your life like in the person you 174 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 1: want to show up as. You get to practice that 175 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:19,679 Speaker 1: in therapy with again a safe person. So, if anything, 176 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 1: I think this presents a unique and maybe really fruitful 177 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,600 Speaker 1: opportunity for you to confront a lot of stories you 178 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: have around you and just confront a lot of experiences 179 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: you might have and stories you might have around confrontation 180 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: and discomfort in general. Your therapist's job is not to 181 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 1: like you, and your job is not to get your 182 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:43,560 Speaker 1: therapist to like you either. It's for you to show 183 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:47,319 Speaker 1: up as yourself is best you can and for you 184 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 1: to work on aligning, aligning the person that you want 185 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,280 Speaker 1: to be in the person that you truly are with 186 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 1: how you show up in the world. And this to 187 00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 1: me offers an interesting experience to work on that totally uncomfortable, 188 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,200 Speaker 1: And I think you even can say that if you 189 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 1: go back and see this therapist like, Hey, I have 190 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 1: a lot of shame. I want to talk about it, 191 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 1: but I don't want to talk about it. That was 192 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 1: really awkward and uncomfortable. I was drunk. I don't even 193 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:16,839 Speaker 1: know what I said in the line. I might have 194 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 1: said something annoying. I'm afraid that you think I'm annoying 195 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 1: or strange, or now you think I'm an alcoholic, or 196 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,960 Speaker 1: I am an alcoholic and you're judging that I relapsed. 197 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 1: I mean, there's so much you can bring into that 198 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 1: that I think could be really, really special. So I 199 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 1: would encourage you to give it a try, see what 200 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 1: it's like. You might need a wait a second before 201 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 1: you go back and see her, but you always can 202 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: get a new therapist, So I would try this out 203 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:48,959 Speaker 1: before you decide that you want to completely start fresh 204 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: with somebody new, because therapists are people who are trained 205 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:57,560 Speaker 1: and set up to see you in ways that you're 206 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,680 Speaker 1: sometimes even afraid for your closest people to see you. 207 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 1: So you want them to see and know the fullness 208 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 1: of you, even if that is uncomfortable and awkward and weird, 209 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,200 Speaker 1: and you know you might not be the first client 210 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,360 Speaker 1: she's ran into in a bar. I've run into clients 211 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 1: in bars before, and just like they have to remember 212 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 1: that I'm a normal person that goes out and does 213 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: things that they might do as well. I have to 214 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 1: remember that, Yeah, my clients are people that are out 215 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:30,080 Speaker 1: in the world as well, and I can respect their 216 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,680 Speaker 1: personal lives and if it needs to be brought into 217 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 1: the room, it can, and they can respect my personal life. 218 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 1: So a very interesting, nuanced, unique situation, right. I think 219 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 1: seeing your therapist is different than seeing like your workout 220 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:51,320 Speaker 1: trainer or maybe a teacher or somebody that works at 221 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 1: the front desk of a medspa you go to, or 222 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: even it's different seeing your therapists than a senior doctor 223 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 1: or something like that. It just is it's unique, and 224 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 1: I think there's a lot you can unpack around that. 225 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: I really wish you were even here so we could 226 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 1: talk about that, because I think also depending on who 227 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:13,079 Speaker 1: you are, there's gonna be different reasons why that is 228 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,920 Speaker 1: uncomfortable or awkward, And there are some people that are 229 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 1: gonna be like, oh, it was sweet. I saw my 230 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:21,680 Speaker 1: therapist at a bar and we talked and then she said, Okay, 231 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go because she's trying to get me at 232 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 1: my privacy. But depending on who you are and your 233 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 1: story and the meaning you have around different parts of 234 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 1: your life, you're gonna experience that event as different, so 235 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 1: there's not one way to feel about her or one 236 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 1: right thing to do. But I would encourage you to 237 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 1: give yourself a shot, to use this as a springboard 238 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 1: for some work, then just to run away. And also 239 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 1: I get it it can be weird. Thank you for 240 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 1: your question, and if you guys have any feedback, questions, anything, 241 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,319 Speaker 1: you can send them to me as well, Catherine at 242 00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 1: un Therapy podcast. You can follow the podcast You Need 243 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:05,200 Speaker 1: Therapy podcast on Instagram and me at kat van Buren 244 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,360 Speaker 1: on Instagram as well. I changed my Instagram name to 245 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 1: my new last name. Like I said, working on the 246 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 1: rest of the stuff, but we'll get there one day. 247 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:17,560 Speaker 1: Changing your last name is heart emotionally and logistically, so 248 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,079 Speaker 1: I am taking my sweet time anyway. That's going to 249 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:24,240 Speaker 1: do it for me today and until next Monday. I 250 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,839 Speaker 1: hope you guys have the day you need to have.