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Speaker 1: First of all, you don't know me. Were all about

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Speaker 1: that high school drama, Girl Drama, Girl, all about them

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Speaker 1: high school queens. We'll take you for a ride in

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Speaker 1: our comic girl sharing for the drama Queens Girl Fashion,

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Speaker 1: but you'll tough girl. You could sit with us. Girl Drama,

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Speaker 1: Queens Drama, Queen's Drama. Queen's Drama drawn MC Queen's Drama

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Speaker 1: Queen's Guys back to such an emotional episode, Season four,

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Speaker 1: episode ten, Songs to Love and Die By. It originally

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Speaker 1: aired December six, two thousand six. It was like kind

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Speaker 1: of the first time we mentioned the holidays, also, which

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Speaker 1: was cute. Inside of a sad container, Lucas received an

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Speaker 1: unlikely you and your containers supposedly, didn't you know I

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Speaker 1: love a container. Hayley's life and the life of her

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Speaker 1: unborn child are threatened when she experiences serious complications with

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Speaker 1: her pregnancy yet because she got viciously hit on a

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Speaker 1: car that's not in the synopsis, but it feels important

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Speaker 1: to say. And Nathan wrestles with the guilt and consequences

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Speaker 1: of his dealings with Dante. Dan tries to make amends

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Speaker 1: for Keith's murder, and Peyton and Brooke try to patch

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Speaker 1: up their differences. Who I loved this episode. This is

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Speaker 1: one another one of those that made me love our

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Speaker 1: show so much. I don't know, I don't know, yes,

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Speaker 1: I mean absolutely, there's a couple of scenes I would

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Speaker 1: like to step fire to the episode itself if we

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Speaker 1: could have had control, and like, because by this point,

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Speaker 1: for our friends at home, you've probably heard us talk

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Speaker 1: about how there was always something that wound up getting cut,

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Speaker 1: like really important parts of scenes, really important scenes, because

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Speaker 1: our episodes were always a little overwritten, and then we

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Speaker 1: would lose stuff that was so good. And yeah, there

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Speaker 1: were there were two scenes I would have loved to

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Speaker 1: throw on the cutter room floor and burned. I choose

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Speaker 1: it's almost like about somebody's ego. But the episode itself

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Speaker 1: was beautiful and like, there was really something about the

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Speaker 1: way that having Keith having this you know, world between

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Speaker 1: worlds for Keith and Lucas created a space to really

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Speaker 1: talk about the things these kids have been learning over

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Speaker 1: these verse four years. And you know, we talked about

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Speaker 1: how in the last episode it felt like the pilot

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Speaker 1: was inside of of four oh nine, and now here

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Speaker 1: we are in four ten and we're really talking about

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Speaker 1: like what we've learned, how we show up, who we

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Speaker 1: all the seasonssodes and I thought it was really beautiful

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Speaker 1: and I thought, I mean, a what a dream to

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Speaker 1: have Craig Schuffer back Had. Craig and Chad are so

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Speaker 1: good together. It's so real. He does such a nice

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Speaker 1: job leading this episode because Had does vulnerability really well.

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Speaker 1: He does sort of that lost little boy really well.

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Speaker 1: You're endeared to him. Um. He he. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if he was working out or what, but he looked

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Speaker 1: like his skin was glowing. He looked really great in

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Speaker 1: this episode in particular too, um. And he just really

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Speaker 1: opened up like it was so nice to see him

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Speaker 1: as an actor. And Lucas just kind of unzipped the

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Speaker 1: chest cavity and open up the heart and be like, okay,

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Speaker 1: here I am, I'm I'm ready to explore all of

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Speaker 1: this um, which definitely wasn't easy for Lucas to have

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Speaker 1: to walk through all those things and um, but I

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Speaker 1: loved it. We needed that, We need that as a guide,

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Speaker 1: and it feels like we get back to who Lucas

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Speaker 1: was in the beginning. You know. The we talked a

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Speaker 1: lot like in season one about how the writers swung

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Speaker 1: him into like bad boy girls like they did. All

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Speaker 1: this stuff that, you know, knowing who are writers were

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Speaker 1: made is all pretty uncomfortable, like, oh wow, we didn't

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Speaker 1: even realize what was being modeled for teenage boys. And

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Speaker 1: now it's like we're coming home. He feels familiar and

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Speaker 1: he's been growing back into this person obviously for such

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Speaker 1: a long time. But it's cool that the contrast, it's

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Speaker 1: almost like they realized who let him go back there? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's emotional stuff is what works so beautiful. We catch

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Speaker 1: so much because we're not like Lucas. Look as look

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Speaker 1: at I get m all the time. I chi don't

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Speaker 1: talk about Lucas enough to be clear, Lucas in this

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Speaker 1: phase of bouncing between chicks and change in his mind

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Speaker 1: who he's in love with is not ideal. It's not interesting.

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Speaker 1: But if Lucas were vulnerable with these girls the way

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Speaker 1: he is with his mom and the way he is

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Speaker 1: with Keith, oh my god, he would be yes, just

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Speaker 1: so insatiable, like like it. He would be so hot

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Speaker 1: if he could talk to Brooke this way, and that

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Speaker 1: was Brookes's whole thing. She's like, you don't let me in.

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Speaker 1: I know it's in there somewhere. The audience gets to

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Speaker 1: see you do it with other people. I don't get

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Speaker 1: to see you do it. It's sexiously. This kind of

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Speaker 1: made me wish that Lucas and Peyton had not had

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Speaker 1: that kiss at the Stage championship game, that that moment

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Speaker 1: she walked away, it would have just because in real

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Speaker 1: life that happens all the time. You let them, you

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Speaker 1: let the big moment pass you by. You don't you

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Speaker 1: don't take the risk in the split second that you

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Speaker 1: have it and it goes away and you're like, shoot,

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Speaker 1: am I ever going to get that chance again? And

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Speaker 1: I wish that they hadn't had that kiss because this

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Speaker 1: would have been such a because also in the last

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Speaker 1: episode you were saying it felt like such a quick switch.

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Speaker 1: Wouldn't have been so nice to have all of this

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Speaker 1: lead up that, Yeah, like you're saying, every time he

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Speaker 1: looks in Peyton's eyes, he realizes that he made a

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Speaker 1: difference in her life and that they're kind of made

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Speaker 1: for each other. And then have him wake up, Now

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Speaker 1: we have something else to look forward to, just building

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Speaker 1: that anticipation. Yeah, like what if he'd woken up from

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Speaker 1: this and then it's you have to be confetti guy, Confetti,

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Speaker 1: don't give us Come on, that's even more romantic. That's

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Speaker 1: like devastating that they almost kiss in the confetti, but

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Speaker 1: then the moment doesn't happen. Better sweet in that moment

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Speaker 1: where you just like, I'm not ready to have this coversation. No,

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Speaker 1: but it is. It's so cool, like that would have

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Speaker 1: been great joy. You're right, but I will say I

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Speaker 1: just I can't. I can't let go of how much

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Speaker 1: I love seeing and you said it, seeing that the vulnerability,

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Speaker 1: seeing that the way that you show up matters for people. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's it's such a beautiful lesson. And you

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Speaker 1: see everybody showing up in this episode, in his twisted way,

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Speaker 1: Dan is showing up for his son and trying to

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Speaker 1: pay penance about his guilt, even though says I don't

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Speaker 1: know if we can ever go back. She shows up

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Speaker 1: for Peyton and goes to find her and does work

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Speaker 1: behind the scenes, talking to Lucas saying I need you

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Speaker 1: to take care of my best friend, and unbeknownst to Brook,

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Speaker 1: Peyton is showing up for her. With Haley, everyone is

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Speaker 1: really trying to show up. Peyton even shows up just

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Speaker 1: by being vulnerable and asking Brooke, can we be friends again? Peyton,

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Speaker 1: who usually just does everything on her own, she doesn't

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Speaker 1: ask a lot of people for help. To see her

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Speaker 1: asking for what she needs was really nice, and it's

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Speaker 1: nice that there's an honesty. It's so clear that these

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Speaker 1: two girls love each other so much and they're they're

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Speaker 1: just in a bad place. And it's nice to see

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Speaker 1: people who will show up and say I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but I will be here. There's so many good lessons

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Speaker 1: in this and Keith offers the space for that. And

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Speaker 1: when you think about it, in our earlier seasons, when

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Speaker 1: Lucas does lose his and he falls into the popular

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Speaker 1: tropes and all the things as Nathan's wouldcome in the

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Speaker 1: good guy leaving the popular tropes behind, and Lucas is

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Speaker 1: falling into them, it's Keith who who challenges him and says,

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Speaker 1: who are you? What kind of person do you want

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Speaker 1: to be? And now even though he's gone, it's Keith

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Speaker 1: who's saying to Lucas, look who you are, look at

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Speaker 1: what you're being. A good person has done. It's so special.

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Speaker 1: It's weird. You know, when when we first did the

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Speaker 1: pilot of this show, they were supposed to be this

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Speaker 1: kind of otherworldly element where Whitey is describing everything going

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Speaker 1: on to Camilla, his dead wife. I missed him in

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Speaker 1: this episode, by the way. Yeah, that would have been

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Speaker 1: good to have him in the hospital anyway, Sorry, go ahead.

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Speaker 1: So there's always kind of been this haunting thread in

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Speaker 1: our show that they were really trying to get to,

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Speaker 1: you know, and they got there with this episode. You know,

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Speaker 1: it turns out that it's not Whitey, it's Keith. Is

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Speaker 1: that voice that's in everybody's ear and it is watching everything,

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Speaker 1: And part of me wonders if there was some remorse

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Speaker 1: on the executive level about being, you know, kind of

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Speaker 1: impulsive about getting rid of Craig. You know, he like

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Speaker 1: you don't know what you have till it's gone. And

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Speaker 1: Keith definitely left a void. We needed that salt of

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Speaker 1: the earth, paternal voice. And Keith is the one who

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Speaker 1: allows for Lucas to grow into a version of him, Like,

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Speaker 1: you know, the Lucas Keith dynamic is so special, and

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Speaker 1: the Craig and Chad dynamic is so good, and so

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Speaker 1: not only do we as viewers feel the void of Keith,

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Speaker 1: but there's a void for work that Chad gets to do.

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Speaker 1: It's Craig. All of a sudden, that's gone and you

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Speaker 1: get him back for an episode and you go, oh

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Speaker 1: my god. It's not to say that it's not so

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Speaker 1: tremendously special to watch Lucas and Karen. Of course it is.

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Speaker 1: But there's something really magical about Yeah, we needed him

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Speaker 1: that triangle and you know, they lopped a side of

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Speaker 1: it off and it was it was he felt for

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Speaker 1: a really long time. Yeah, I agree. I thought it

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Speaker 1: was interesting watching Dan in this episode because it made

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Speaker 1: me think about it's interesting seeing someone wrestle for their soul.

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Speaker 1: He's made such terrible choices throughout his life and done

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Speaker 1: it in a way where he's clearly built himself, in

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Speaker 1: his own mind into a person who is above I

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Speaker 1: guess above moral reproach, who also feels that he can

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Speaker 1: get away with a lot of things, and um, life is,

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Speaker 1: life owes him things, and so he's built this pattern

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Speaker 1: of behavior, but he's never done he's never crossed over

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Speaker 1: the line. Like I think a lot of us look

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Speaker 1: at our lives and we're like, well, okay, I may

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Speaker 1: do this and that, but I don't do this or that.

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Speaker 1: Flawed but I'm not a sociopath, right, And uh, there

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Speaker 1: was a couple of things that I thought were interesting.

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Speaker 1: One I heard something this weekend that was it was

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Speaker 1: inside every seed I posted on my Instagram. Inside every

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Speaker 1: seat is an entire forest. Um inside. Basically, it's the

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Speaker 1: possibility of you know, any small thing can grow into

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Speaker 1: an entire thing. So that could be uh, your character development.

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Speaker 1: The good things that you do could be lies, gossip,

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Speaker 1: it could be anything. And the little seed that was

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Speaker 1: in Dan that grew into all this this forest of

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Speaker 1: horrible behavior, and then now he's crossing over into murderer.

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Speaker 1: And it's like watching him wrestle with the idea that oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm okay doing like dabbling in all these little bad

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Speaker 1: moral things, but that doesn't really matter. And then he's like,

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Speaker 1: maybe I can get away with murder too. He does it,

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Speaker 1: and now he's in a real legitimate battle for his

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Speaker 1: soul in a way that he never acknowledged before. Sorry

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Speaker 1: if that was long winded. Thought it was interesting. I

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Speaker 1: don't have a conclusion about it. I just thought it

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Speaker 1: was so interesting the moment where Nathan says to him, Dad,

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Speaker 1: you didn't kill anyone, and Dan had to just sit

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Speaker 1: in it. Not only did I kill someone, I killed

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Speaker 1: my brother yea, yeah, but he's such a cool This

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Speaker 1: is why I love Dan because even though we love

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Speaker 1: to hate him, there there is something so true about

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Speaker 1: the fact that we are all human and we are

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Speaker 1: all capable of wonderful and terrible things. And it's it's

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Speaker 1: a mistake, I think, to look at ourselves and go,

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Speaker 1: it's okay, I only do these things and not those things,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like anything can turn into

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Speaker 1: anything else. You have to be careful absolutely. And what

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Speaker 1: I loved was in that scene I wrote it down

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Speaker 1: when Nathan says, you didn't kill anybody, and Dan says,

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Speaker 1: in many ways, I'm right where I should be. Yes,

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Speaker 1: he's trying to tell Nathan he's at peace with this,

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Speaker 1: and Nathan can't understand because he doesn't know the truth.

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Speaker 1: And it's so it's it's riveting to watch James and

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Speaker 1: Paul together in this episode, and it's riveting watching Paul

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Speaker 1: and Craig in that scene in the jail into it,

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Speaker 1: and Craig there was something like so on fire in

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Speaker 1: his life saying those words, you know, as Keith to Dan,

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Speaker 1: I forgive you and knowing that it would eat him alive.

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Speaker 1: And it was like, oh, I actually caught myself holding

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Speaker 1: my breath during the scene. I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I'm wanna pass out because I was just like frozen

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Speaker 1: watching the two of that. It was really I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I was viewer. It was like, very well. I liked.

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Speaker 1: I like that little bit of territorial vibe that Keith

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Speaker 1: was putting out where he was like, she's never gonna

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Speaker 1: love you, Danny, Like cool, I've been haunting you. I've

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Speaker 1: been little boy Keith to haunt you for all the

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Speaker 1: other stuff. But now you're coming from a woman who's

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Speaker 1: carrying my baby. Keith is here now and I'm not happy,

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Speaker 1: And here my bloody eyeballs. You know, I'm terrifying. I

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Speaker 1: loved here my bloody eyeballs. Yeah. No, he got he

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Speaker 1: got like spooky, he got scary. And so that duality

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Speaker 1: of ghost Keith, where it's like I can be the

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Speaker 1: cute little brother that's just like kind of irritating, or

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Speaker 1: I could also be you know, really terrifying and you're

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Speaker 1: confined to the cell. There's nothing you can do to

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Speaker 1: get away from me right now. What I love too

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Speaker 1: was the use of our sets. In this episode, we'll

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Speaker 1: talk about that, talk about John as John. Ashtre did

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Speaker 1: such a good job. And I said this when we

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Speaker 1: were watching the show, and I just feel like I

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Speaker 1: should say it now because we mean it as a compliment.

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Speaker 1: Like I think we were all at a bit of

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Speaker 1: a stage. You know, we were four years in. There

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Speaker 1: were like things that we rolled our eyes about, and

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Speaker 1: like Ashra and Chad were always setting fireworks off and

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Speaker 1: getting people in trouble, and we were judging about it

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Speaker 1: because I'm sure so much younger than any other director.

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Speaker 1: He was much more of a peer. He was like

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Speaker 1: if you had a slightly older brother in college, and

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Speaker 1: and like we loved him, but we I don't know

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Speaker 1: that we knew what a good director he was because

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Speaker 1: he was like a prankster because he was a boy.

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Speaker 1: He was like like they were like cranking and we

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Speaker 1: all were like, oh my god, quit keeping us at work,

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Speaker 1: like because you guys were sitting stink bombs off in

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Speaker 1: the stages. Like and now watching back at this episode, y'all,

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Speaker 1: the three of us were just like blown away. This

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Speaker 1: is really the cuts, the way that they did these transitions,

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Speaker 1: Like Ethan, you know Dan with his head bowed down

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Speaker 1: in jail, and then it perfectly morphs into Nathan with

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Speaker 1: his head bowed at the hospital. The way that all

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Speaker 1: of these sets opened into other sets, hospital elevators to

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Speaker 1: the quad, like nobody had ever shot our show like this. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was so well done. So really the moral of

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Speaker 1: the story is, in case John Asher's listening, just please

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Speaker 1: know that we're giving you all of your flowers. And

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Speaker 1: we're very impressed. Shut He always takes risks. I love

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Speaker 1: that about him As a director, you know that they

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Speaker 1: don't always pay off. Like every artist, you get on

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Speaker 1: stage sometimes and you bomb, But if you're taking the risk,

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Speaker 1: at least you know what works and what doesn't work.

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Speaker 1: And we had a lot of directors who came in

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Speaker 1: and just kept playing it safe because they wanted to

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Speaker 1: keep getting more jobs. And there's certain you know, you

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Speaker 1: have to keep a consistency of the tone of the

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Speaker 1: show and things like that. So I liked that they

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Speaker 1: brought him in for an episode where you could take

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Speaker 1: risks and be creative because they knew that he would.

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Speaker 1: He always takes the risk. They knew they could trust

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Speaker 1: him to do that, and I mean, I kid you not,

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Speaker 1: when that hospital elevator door opened onto the quad. We

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Speaker 1: all gasped. It's Wizard of Oz. It was so cool.

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Speaker 1: And then whatever set turned into the high school hallway,

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Speaker 1: Like everything was just so freaking cool and well done.

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Speaker 1: And it really didn't make me even you know, not

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Speaker 1: just watching our show for our podcast, but as an

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Speaker 1: actor and as a director, it really made me feel inspired.

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Speaker 1: It was a nice reminder of what's possible. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: there's a subtle thing that happens in your brain when

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Speaker 1: the rules get thrown out, and it puts you on

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Speaker 1: a subconscious edge, you know. And so when we see

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Speaker 1: the nurses passed through Peyton's bedroom, and it's like because

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Speaker 1: because we made the comment, it was like the lighting

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Speaker 1: was the same, you know, like nothing was off in

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Speaker 1: Peyton's room. The boys were just kind of being voyers

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Speaker 1: watching Peyton and Brooke have that moment. And then these

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Speaker 1: nurses walked through and that's weird, and we fall of

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Speaker 1: the ones head and all of a sudden, we're in

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Speaker 1: the hospital and really, like from those early moments on,

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Speaker 1: we know as an audience that there are no rules,

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Speaker 1: that literally anything can happen, and so you're glued to

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Speaker 1: it because if you miss it. There's no way to

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Speaker 1: predict what's going to happen, um and that stuff. You know,

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Speaker 1: that's fun that. I think everyone from our hair and

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Speaker 1: makeup team to our a d staff, to our camera operators,

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Speaker 1: like everyone got a real kick out of doing something

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Speaker 1: really different. And this is really when you know we

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Speaker 1: We've been saying it for a while now. Season four

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Speaker 1: is when we started jumping the shark all over the

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Speaker 1: place because it was like, we played by the rules before,

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Speaker 1: no one paid attention to us. So if we throw

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Speaker 1: them out, maybe maybe that's who we are now. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. It's really cool to see, you know, not

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Speaker 1: everybody gets to be on a show for as long

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Speaker 1: as we did, and it's really cool to see the

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Speaker 1: risks taken because this risk paid off and was so

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Speaker 1: emotionally charged and touching and thought provoking, and some of

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Speaker 1: the risks when we would jump the shark, we're just

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Speaker 1: so dumb. We did have a moment like that in

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Speaker 1: this episode at the grave, guys, the morphing. Okay, let's

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Speaker 1: talk about the more. Well, let's talk about the woman.

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Speaker 1: Where did you so you found this woman? You said

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Speaker 1: she wasn't cast? Yeah, yeah, this was one of those

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Speaker 1: cool like we live in a small town in Wilmington's

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Speaker 1: kind of deals. Um. When we shot at the record store,

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Speaker 1: that was towards the beginning of the episode, um, and

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Speaker 1: like the beginning of the eight the beginning of our

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Speaker 1: eight days of filming. And they hadn't cast this woman

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Speaker 1: to play me yet, and so casting had sent a

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Speaker 1: bunch of pictures to John Asher to like, look at

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Speaker 1: these people, see if they look off like Hillary. And

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Speaker 1: he was going through the pictures on set and I'm

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Speaker 1: looking at them and like some were like, oh um,

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Speaker 1: this isn't a very flattering option. Okay, you know, like

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Speaker 1: you're looking at people that are supposed to look like

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Speaker 1: old you. And so we're going through and it's like

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Speaker 1: some are okay, some are, but like nothing was really hitting.

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Speaker 1: And there was a crowd that had gathered outside and

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Speaker 1: there was this spicy woman, like spicy and she I

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Speaker 1: think she actually had like red hair, um, and she

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Speaker 1: was outside with her husband, like wearing go go boots

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Speaker 1: and a mini skirt and was just being like, look cool,

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Speaker 1: and she's like what's going on here? And you know,

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Speaker 1: I was like outside probably smoking or something, and I

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Speaker 1: started talking to her and I become fast friends with

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Speaker 1: this woman, and I was like, are you going to

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Speaker 1: be here for a couple of days? And she's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm here for the whole week. And I went inside.

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Speaker 1: I was like, can this woman be me? And we

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00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,680
Speaker 1: were the same exact height and we had the same

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Speaker 1: exact eye color. And I hate that they put that

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Speaker 1: wig on her because she was like a super sexy

362
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Speaker 1: woman and they put this full wig on her. But

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Speaker 1: I just had a connection with this lady. And that

364
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 1: was fun about having John as a director because it

365
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Speaker 1: was like, can it be her? And yeah, why not

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Speaker 1: make it her? And so it was cool. She came

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Speaker 1: and hung out in there and makeup trailer as they

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Speaker 1: dulled her up, and then my body had to morph

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Speaker 1: or her body morphed into mind. It was why an

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Speaker 1: episode filled with so many gorgeous transitions. And by the way,

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Speaker 1: I said it a minute ago, when they layered James

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Speaker 1: and Paul over each other and did the transition, it worked.

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Speaker 1: Why couldn't they just have like done a fade from

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Speaker 1: a plate shot of her into you. The moreph the

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Speaker 1: like full Transformers moment. It was such an emotional scene

376
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Speaker 1: and it made us all burst out laughing you said it.

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Speaker 1: You were like, well, that took me out of any

378
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Speaker 1: experience I was having. Yeah, I cackled, I mean for me,

379
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Speaker 1: and I did it. Yeah, why didn't they have her

380
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Speaker 1: bend down to put the flowers in the long black

381
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Speaker 1: coat and then stand up, stand up, you know, in

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Speaker 1: a long black coat. But I said, Peyton wears no

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Speaker 1: coats in this episode. It's clear that I'm freezing, freezing,

384
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Speaker 1: freezing episode. I couldn't used the coat at the graveyard.

385
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Speaker 1: That's because our costume designer was gone and we had

386
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Speaker 1: no nobody, so just fell through the cracks. We're looking

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Speaker 1: to get her at the house. First of all, when

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Speaker 1: we leave the state championship, we all have our full

389
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Speaker 1: cheer uniforms. We have the zip ups and the pants

390
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Speaker 1: under our strap. But then magically, when I come to you,

391
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Speaker 1: I have no pants under my miniskirt. You have no sweatshirt.

392
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Speaker 1: And we leave the house and go to the hospital,

393
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Speaker 1: and you don't grab a sweatshirt, a coat, a purse, nothing, anything.

394
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Speaker 1: You're just standing there in your little tank top looking

395
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Speaker 1: so cool. I said. I was like, like, I don't

396
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,159
Speaker 1: know what happened, but the whole the whole episode for me,

397
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Speaker 1: Peyton doesn't know to do with her hands, like there

398
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,119
Speaker 1: it is just an exercise, and like where do I

399
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Speaker 1: put my arms? And there's that moment in the hospital

400
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Speaker 1: when Brooke and Peyton come in and Nathan sitting in

401
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 1: the lobby and he leaves and you and I don't

402
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 1: know what to do, and we like a sort of

403
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 1: hug but also not well because it's like our instinct

404
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 1: is to hug each other and then we're like, oh,

405
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:29,119
Speaker 1: which we're mad, so I'll just awkwardly grab your hands

406
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:33,359
Speaker 1: and lean into your body. Watched. I thought it was

407
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:38,240
Speaker 1: so realistic and funny. That's the biggest But by the ways, okay,

408
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 1: hold on. As funny as that is, Like, we do

409
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,320
Speaker 1: need to say something because what leads to that moment

410
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 1: between us is not funny at all. It's Nathan literally

411
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Speaker 1: saying he wished he died in that water, and Joy,

412
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Speaker 1: I think you said it while we were watching the episode,

413
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Speaker 1: like we are not addressing the trauma that this young

414
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Speaker 1: man has been put through repeatedly all yeah, he he

415
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Speaker 1: keeps saying I should have died, I wish I died.

416
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: Like this is heavy, heavy stuff. Yeah, Hillary, you brought

417
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 1: this up several episodes ago. It was probably like a

418
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 1: couple of months ago, but that's it was when he

419
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Speaker 1: was in the race car accident and nobody was really

420
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,919
Speaker 1: everybody was like, oh, Nathan's going through a hard time. Uh,

421
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 1: nobody was naming it. And then he does it again here,

422
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Speaker 1: and then he does it again again on the bridge here. Um. Yeah,

423
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Speaker 1: it bothered me that nobody was really dealing with that. Well.

424
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Speaker 1: I think also at this time, I feel like there

425
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Speaker 1: was always like like there was something feminine about teenage suicide.

426
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Speaker 1: You know, like no one ever would think that like

427
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,440
Speaker 1: the jock, the you know, the captain of the basketball

428
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 1: team or whatever, would be suicidal. But Nathan says, over

429
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 1: and over and over again, guys, I want to die. Guys,

430
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 1: I want to die. Hayley left me. I'm a mess.

431
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 1: My parents are a mess. I'm going to take all

432
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 1: these drugs. I'm gonna like this kid has been on

433
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 1: suicide Watch since season one, and no one is calling CPS,

434
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:20,639
Speaker 1: no one's calling the school counselor, no one's doing anything.

435
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 1: They're just like, well, you know, no one's taken him

436
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 1: to therapy. Nobody, and to your point, nobody's naming it.

437
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 1: And I think at the time, it was such a

438
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 1: big deal to even see a boy on TV talk

439
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 1: about his feelings that people were like wow, and nobody

440
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 1: was taking it the next step farther and saying this

441
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 1: is a cry for help. What this person is saying

442
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 1: is so Nathan was really the one that needed the

443
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 1: journey to see what his impact in life has been

444
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 1: and matters. I mean, if we're really going to break

445
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 1: it down that that is probably what was needed. But

446
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 1: I like the way they did it. I just like,

447
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 1: I'm looking at this now going my gosh, I wish

448
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 1: there was some way Nathan could have been incorporated into that,

449
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,880
Speaker 1: or maybe that's his journey over the next few episodes.

450
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. He had that nice episode a few

451
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 1: a few back when Chad wasn't around, like when Lucas

452
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 1: wasn't on the basketball team, and the whole episode focused

453
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 1: on Nathan and he was like in a winning moment

454
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 1: and it was fun to watch. It was fun to

455
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,199
Speaker 1: watch him like man up um. But they take him

456
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:32,640
Speaker 1: through these really man at highs and lows that are

457
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,359
Speaker 1: exhausting as an adult. You know, the the idea that

458
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 1: it's a kid that's navigating this kind of Yeah, like

459
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 1: the huge difference between the two feelings. You know, this

460
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 1: kid grew up in an unstable, abusive household. It would

461
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:52,200
Speaker 1: track ye, his dad was obsessed with the highs and

462
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 1: when it wasn't high. We're going to need to have

463
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 1: a therapist on the show at some point just to

464
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 1: diagnoque all the characters. But actually it didn't happen in

465
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 1: the nine years of the show. We should do it

466
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 1: for our friends at home. UM, we would imagine that

467
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:13,119
Speaker 1: there are some clinical psychologists and therapists among you. Um,

468
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 1: if you are, will you send us a d M

469
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 1: at our show Instagram because we really do want to

470
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 1: have somebody come and talk about um where we just

471
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,959
Speaker 1: weren't going in oh six, because we're ready to go now.

472
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,640
Speaker 1: We love talking about therapy. Something that's an issue that's

473
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:32,880
Speaker 1: raised in this episode that I don't know that it's

474
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:37,399
Speaker 1: really answered, but it is an interesting topic because Lucas

475
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,920
Speaker 1: brings it up of what's the point of being a

476
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,640
Speaker 1: good person of bad things happen? And it seems really

477
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 1: applicable in our society today to the ideas that if

478
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: you if you do the right things, if you kind

479
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 1: of check the boxes and behaves the right certain ways

480
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 1: that you'll earn the good things that happen in life,

481
00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 1: like good good things will happen for you if you

482
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:05,159
Speaker 1: do good things. Um. And it's interesting to see a

483
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 1: teenager faced with the reality that there really are not

484
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:13,159
Speaker 1: any guarantees in life. And you you can be a

485
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 1: wonderful person and still have lots of horrible things happen

486
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 1: to you all the time. And you can be a

487
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 1: really bad person and have lots of you know, circumstantially

488
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:22,719
Speaker 1: great things happen to you all the time. I Mean,

489
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 1: there's plenty of people that we look at in the

490
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,440
Speaker 1: world and we're like, how does that person have so

491
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:32,399
Speaker 1: many quote unquote good things in their world when we

492
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 1: know what a horrible person they are, or you know,

493
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:37,679
Speaker 1: vice versa the other way around, you know what I mean.

494
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 1: We have plenty of friends and people that we love.

495
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: And I'm sure I've felt this way before in my life.

496
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 1: I'm sure you guys have to where you're like, I'm doing, like,

497
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 1: aren't I a good person? Aren't I? Like? Haven't I

498
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 1: earned like to not have all these horrible things just

499
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 1: flooding at me over and over. Um, It's interesting to

500
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: see a teenager wrestle with that that there's no guarantees. Yeah,

501
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 1: and I think you know, we got that amazing, you

502
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 1: know thread on Twitter from that writer who's been talking

503
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 1: about the journey of this show. Um, you know, Joy,

504
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 1: I know you you're off, but he he wrote this

505
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,960
Speaker 1: really beautiful article about the things we shared. And I

506
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 1: know we talked last week about how it was so

507
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,960
Speaker 1: surprising to us that that was news because all the

508
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 1: grown ups in the room told us we were being

509
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,479
Speaker 1: babies and it wasn't a big deal. Um, and now

510
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 1: you hear the world go, wow, that's really up. That's

511
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 1: a really big deal, and you go cool. So we

512
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 1: were being gaslighted in two thousand sis when the word

513
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 1: didn't exist. Great had a hunch, but everyone told us

514
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 1: we were crazy. And you know, he wrote about how

515
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 1: there are people who get upset that we talked about

516
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 1: the experiences and the facts and like what didn't work

517
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 1: and what was happening behind the scenes. And you know

518
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 1: in some of the responses that Hall and I sentsence

519
00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 1: we're still on Twitter, you know, the it all boils

520
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 1: down for me to thank you for seeing it and

521
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 1: for being willing to really lean into that truth and

522
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 1: that's what we're talking about in this episode is like

523
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 1: the good and the bad is inextricably linked. And we

524
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,960
Speaker 1: were talking to this writer about how look for everyone

525
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 1: at home they have this hundred and eighty seven hours,

526
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 1: the hundred and eighty seven episodes that we made over

527
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 1: the course of nine years. We did it for a

528
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 1: decade of our lives, all day, every day, seventeen hours

529
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 1: a day. It's so much more complicated. The highs and

530
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 1: the lows and the great moments that were mixed in

531
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 1: with some really terrible ones that, by the way, are

532
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 1: in this episode, Like it's that's real life. And I

533
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 1: think I worry sometimes that the detriment of what we see,

534
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 1: you know, the clean episode of television or what you're

535
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: referencing joy when you look at, you know, what somebody's

536
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 1: doing in life on Instagram and it looks really perfect,

537
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 1: like it's all the edited moment versus you know, it's

538
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 1: the one hour the forty three minute episode owed versus

539
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 1: the eight seventeen hour days it took to make it.

540
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 1: Like we see these compressions and we don't get the

541
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 1: whole story. And maybe that's why we love episodes like

542
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 1: this so much, because they go deeper into what's going

543
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 1: on underneath. They get deeper into the idea of a

544
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 1: whole story for people, For friends who say, I love you,

545
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: but I can't be around you. I'll always be here

546
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 1: for you, but I don't know if I'll ever feel

547
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: the same way about you. Like, that's so much more

548
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 1: real than what we get presented a lot of the times.

549
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 1: And maybe that's the reason that episodes like this hit

550
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 1: for us. And maybe it's the reason that some of

551
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:40,080
Speaker 1: these podcast episodes like trigger like a relief and a

552
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 1: truth for a lot of people, because most people don't

553
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 1: have these conversations publicly. Have you guys had you know,

554
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 1: that's a good point about Brooke and Peyton, you know,

555
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: saying maybe I don't know if I can have the

556
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 1: same relationship with you as I did before and stuff.

557
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 1: That's a conversation that's definitely happens a lot in romantic

558
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 1: relationships and interactions. Have you guys had complicated friendships like

559
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 1: that where you've had to have conversations like that before.

560
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 1: I feel like it just doesn't happen a lot in friendships.

561
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 1: People just kind of like fade. They just start like,

562
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 1: I don't have the energy and they just fade out.

563
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 1: I've drawn browndaries. Yeah, I mean, I've broken up with friends. Um,

564
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 1: but do you have like the conversations and you really

565
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 1: like wrestle it out with them or is it just

566
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 1: sort of like there's just over time. Yeah. I mean

567
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 1: I had a friend that was disinvited to my wedding

568
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 1: ended up coming last minute, and because you guys talked

569
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 1: about it, like we talked about it and then decided

570
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 1: even after that, like it's not gonna work. It's just

571
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 1: not gonna work. And we tried. We've been hanging onto

572
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 1: something that doesn't exist anymore. And I don't I don't

573
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 1: like your ethics, you don't like mine. We're good, you know,

574
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 1: And it's a much longer process than we can present

575
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 1: in a one hour TV show, especially if you're both

576
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 1: really trying. Yeah, Um, but they're they're difficult. They're really

577
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 1: in high school. That happens more than adulthood. I'm trying

578
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 1: to think of because I feel like, yeah, in high school,

579
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 1: your emotions run hot. I don't think I had it

580
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 1: so much in high school, Like I went to school

581
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:21,479
Speaker 1: with fifty five girls entire class. I would have had

582
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 1: it once a week in that environment, like you couldn't

583
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 1: really have friend breakups because we're environment was so small.

584
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 1: What was more what became more true for me was

585
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: and I find this in cycles like I've I've definitely

586
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 1: had this in romantic cycles, like I remember being young

587
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 1: and being in a really terrible relationship, and then like

588
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 1: in my like about ten years later in my early thirties,

589
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I see what the universe is doing.

590
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 1: You know, when you get presented with a challenge to

591
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 1: see if you learned a lesson, that's what this is.

592
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 1: I didn't learn it fast enough, but I see it,

593
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 1: and that's growth. So it's us therapy cycle, you know.

594
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 1: And I got a similar kind of a thing, you know, honestly,

595
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:08,839
Speaker 1: and how lucky we were that we had each other.

596
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 1: But like guys, we got on TV really young, and

597
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:19,240
Speaker 1: I had friends from high school who were thrilled, you know, vocally,

598
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: but emotionally very pissed, who wanted me to like take

599
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 1: us to the big party or to the event, or

600
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 1: get us into this thing, or get us tickets to

601
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 1: this concert. So I would like go home to see

602
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 1: my friends from home on the weekends, but then it

603
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,320
Speaker 1: would turn into this thing of like, oh, well, you

604
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 1: just think and I'm like, I'm confused. Do you want

605
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 1: me to call the people to go to the thing

606
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 1: that you said you wanted to go to or does

607
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:45,880
Speaker 1: that make me an apple? Like? What what is this

608
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 1: conversation we're having? And there was a gap of you know,

609
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 1: I'd fly home on a Saturday, we'd all go out

610
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:52,839
Speaker 1: and do something fun. I'd come back to you guys

611
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 1: on Sunday, and then by Thursday I'd get a call

612
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 1: from my friend at home that everyone was pissed at me,

613
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm not even there. Let's sucks happening.

614
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:05,320
Speaker 1: And what I had to realize in my mid twenties

615
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: was that, you know, like Margot Robbie talked about this

616
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 1: and I in Australia, I guess they call it tall

617
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,400
Speaker 1: poppy syndrome, that like, everyone's happy with your success until

618
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 1: your your poppy gets taller than their's and then they

619
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 1: want to cut you down. She gave us creator about it.

620
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,479
Speaker 1: I'm not doing as good a job, but I began

621
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 1: to feel that that it was like we want, we

622
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:27,600
Speaker 1: want you to do well, but not in a way

623
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 1: that makes us feel like we're not doing well. And

624
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 1: then I went through a version of that again in

625
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,840
Speaker 1: my mid thirties with some friends where I had a

626
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,920
Speaker 1: girlfriend who I mean was like a sister to me,

627
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 1: who I bet over backwards for who like I I

628
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 1: would bring on jobs with me and like not take

629
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 1: a fee so I could offer my fee to her

630
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 1: to cover like the thing she was going through, like

631
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 1: big stuff that I was like, I'm happy to do this.

632
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 1: I'm in a position where I can do this, like

633
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: let's go be out there together. And it took me

634
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,720
Speaker 1: some time to realize that that was like incredibly toxic,

635
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,959
Speaker 1: that I was being taken advantage of that I would

636
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 1: take her on jobs with me, and then I found

637
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 1: out she was trying to deal with the people I

638
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 1: was working for behind my back and and like literally

639
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 1: took a job out of my hands. That's horrible, by

640
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:20,759
Speaker 1: the way, But did you like confront her and have

641
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 1: a conversation and like really hash it out or was

642
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 1: it just like you know what was me was I

643
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 1: We worked on having a conversation for a while and

644
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 1: we would schedule something, and then she kept bailing, and

645
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,360
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know if you're just ashamed

646
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,240
Speaker 1: of your behavior or if this is not a priority

647
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 1: to you. But I'm done, like I've I've used up

648
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 1: the runway, and what I see the writing on the

649
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 1: wall for me, And I wrote her a letter and

650
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 1: I wrote it all out, and I was like, this

651
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 1: is what has been happening, and when it's written out,

652
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 1: it's pretty painful to read. And I have to own

653
00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 1: that when I love someone, I will often not look

654
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,239
Speaker 1: at their negative qualities. And I've played a part in this.

655
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 1: I've allowed you to treat me this way, but I'm

656
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,919
Speaker 1: not going to do it anymore. And then it took

657
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,839
Speaker 1: months and then I got this like long apology letter

658
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 1: back that essentially plays by him on everyone but her,

659
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, cool, I just don't have

660
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 1: the bandwidth for it, Like I've done the work where

661
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 1: I can be like, yeah, I really didn't like that

662
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 1: I behaved this way and I reacted to you this

663
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 1: way because of this, and you know whatever, it's not easy.

664
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 1: But I was like, I'm just not I'm not here

665
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 1: for like the excuses and and so it's interesting. I

666
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 1: don't know. I think it can be easier to maybe

667
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 1: stay in a romantic relationship that's not good for you

668
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 1: because you love someone but honestly, I can see where

669
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 1: I've done that in friendships too, because I want to

670
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 1: believe in the people who have gotten into my heart.

671
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 1: And what I've had to come to at this stage

672
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 1: in my life is, yeah, there's some people who have

673
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 1: burned me, but like the of I have with the

674
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 1: people who love me is so special. Like I look

675
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 1: at our friendships, I look at you know, I look

676
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:08,800
Speaker 1: at my best friends at home in l A, Like

677
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 1: we would do anything for each other, like anything, and

678
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to have loved the wrong people less

679
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 1: if it meant missing out on the level I have

680
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,280
Speaker 1: for the right people like this, But yeah, it blows

681
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 1: when you like really get there. And it's quilt to

682
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 1: see high school girls modeling on our show, this conversation.

683
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 1: I'm going to show up for you, and I don't

684
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 1: know if I'm ever going to feel the same way

685
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 1: about you. I'm like, damn, imagine if we had known

686
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,320
Speaker 1: how to do that when we were sixteen. Oh my gosh,

687
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:47,240
Speaker 1: Well what I like about that scene because I remember

688
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 1: shooting that scene like it was yesterday. Before we even

689
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 1: watched the episode, I was like, remember the bridge, We're

690
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 1: under the bridge, the bridge of the Bridge of Bridge. Yeah,

691
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 1: I just I have such strong memories of that because

692
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 1: it was kind of a pain in the ask to

693
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 1: get on that ledge, Like we had to like climb

694
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,840
Speaker 1: ladder and something. It was really cold and you have

695
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 1: to like try to not fall over the front and

696
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 1: break your neck. Yeah, yes, yeah, don't fall in. But

697
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 1: what I liked about it is that Brook shows up

698
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:15,880
Speaker 1: and starts talking about everyone else. It's like Ellie, your mom, Haley, Lucas,

699
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 1: let's talk about anything other than the elephant in the room.

700
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,719
Speaker 1: And Peyton just turns around and looks at her in

701
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 1: the eyes and it's like you, the loss of you

702
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 1: is killing me, and center's Brook. And so Peyton is

703
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 1: like a friend a lot of the time. But she

704
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:37,839
Speaker 1: centers Brooke in a way that I know. I wish

705
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,320
Speaker 1: I had friends that would do that sometimes, you know,

706
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 1: where it's like okay, cool, we can we can talk

707
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,879
Speaker 1: about all of the noise, we can talk about all

708
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 1: of the peripheral things, just to have a conversation that's easy,

709
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: or like we could cut to the quick and let's

710
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 1: do that. And you know, yeah, Peyton loves Brook like

711
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 1: so much. But do you feel like so when you

712
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 1: think about that, because you're identifying something in that conversation

713
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:10,719
Speaker 1: that the ability to cut to the quick and tell

714
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 1: the truth, like when you've gone through a friend breakup.

715
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 1: Because I do feel like that's part of your question, right,

716
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:20,799
Speaker 1: Joy is like do you have you grown into being

717
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 1: able to do that, to just say that thing and

718
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 1: do it or do you let it fizzle? Like you know,

719
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 1: because it's too hard. I usually say the thing, throw

720
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:37,400
Speaker 1: a grenade and then disappear. Yeah, so I'll say it,

721
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: but then I'll make it hurt and then I have

722
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 1: to turn into miss. So essentially we're bringing it back

723
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:47,959
Speaker 1: to Asher and Chat in their smoke bombs a little

724
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 1: bit of theatrics. Girls. Yeah, yeah, that's it's hard once

725
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,840
Speaker 1: you've been burned, like when you have been betrayed in

726
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 1: that sort of a way where the rug has been

727
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:02,279
Speaker 1: pulled out from under you. Yeah, you have a very

728
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 1: strong alarm bell that goes off around dishonesty. Yeah, you

729
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 1: know when like if you lie to my face, you

730
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 1: could tell me you need help, Like I don't know,

731
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 1: I know the adage is like burying a body, and

732
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 1: then I'm like that that might be a dark example,

733
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 1: like I sunny and then I don't know what I

734
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 1: mean when when when people ask that question, like if

735
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 1: you had to bury a body, who would you call?

736
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,839
Speaker 1: Whatever the crisis is, I've got a bobcat, I've got

737
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:34,360
Speaker 1: the pharma. You know, think that like drama queens, murder, cleanup.

738
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, well, my betrayal is on screen

739
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 1: in this episode. I want to talk about abusive relationships.

740
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: Talk about it, Okay, just give it all the way. Honestly,

741
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 1: I'm white hot, like like my palms of field grows. Um.

742
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 1: Our boss cast himself in our show, and he cast

743
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 1: himself in a role that I would have to interact

744
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:04,279
Speaker 1: with as this like sage, you know, wise man that

745
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 1: runs the record store, And first of all, he's a

746
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 1: terrible actor. He's a terrible looking man. And to be

747
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 1: super petty, Um, it was a missed opportunity because, as

748
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,239
Speaker 1: you guys said, we could have had somebody awesome come

749
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 1: in and so ifia you said it like a musician,

750
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,879
Speaker 1: how cool would have been in here for a minute,

751
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:25,640
Speaker 1: because you know, there's going to be some troll who

752
00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 1: says that you're criticizing him because you of your personal

753
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 1: experience that our boss was such a bad actor. He's

754
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 1: not a bad he's not an actor, and so Hillary,

755
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:39,760
Speaker 1: you are carrying this beautiful scene. You're looking for something

756
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:43,480
Speaker 1: as a kid like and and music is such a healer.

757
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,880
Speaker 1: It really really is like you want to you want

758
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,279
Speaker 1: to get something new and get in your car and

759
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 1: turn it up and scream and cry and have the

760
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:54,400
Speaker 1: experience that only a good record can give you. And

761
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:59,720
Speaker 1: you are carrying this scene as Peyton searching for something

762
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:05,839
Speaker 1: unlock the the feelings she has like brimming out of her.

763
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:09,839
Speaker 1: You find something else to articulate what you're feeling. Yeah,

764
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: and you're opposite this loser who can't act, who like

765
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 1: for people at home and any of our friends who

766
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 1: you know are also in this industry. You know what

767
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:21,880
Speaker 1: it's like when you go to an audition and the

768
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 1: casting director is like out for the day, so they

769
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 1: have some assistant sitting opposite you who you're supposed to

770
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,480
Speaker 1: do this like intensely emotional scene with, and the person's

771
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 1: reading the paper going well, I thought that that was

772
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 1: actually a very bad idea, And you're like, somebody helped me,

773
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 1: or even worse, someone who's actually trying to act but

774
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:43,400
Speaker 1: they're really terrible at it, which is more distracting was

775
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 1: happening in our episode, Like there's no reaction, Like even

776
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:50,399
Speaker 1: when James breaks the record, there's no like startled. There's

777
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:54,319
Speaker 1: there's nobody home and you guys are doing these big

778
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 1: there's nobody home and you're doing these big scenes and

779
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 1: the only thing that this be older man says to

780
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 1: you as do you remember what you were looking for

781
00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 1: the first time you came in here? Why does a

782
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 1: grown man remember what a teenage girl was looking for

783
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:10,799
Speaker 1: ten years ago at a record? Right, Like he's been

784
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 1: there the whole time, Like he's the guy that we

785
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,839
Speaker 1: always go to to have a conversation with about art.

786
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 1: The whole thing was. But he also had just given

787
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 1: me that iPod in real life that he had with

788
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: a hundred songs and they were all like kind of

789
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 1: there were songs like little Miss Can't Be Wrong, and

790
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,880
Speaker 1: like songs to kind of put me on my place

791
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 1: a little bit, or just kind of they were they

792
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: all had a code, they all had a message, and

793
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 1: so to then have that kind of meta feeling of

794
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 1: it being put in the show, Yeah, I just felt

795
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 1: like I was being beat over the head with this,

796
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 1: like Okay, I get it. Can I had to suck

797
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 1: it up and just stand there. And I felt so

798
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 1: bad for you watching that, like knowing that you're again,

799
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,960
Speaker 1: we're so young, and to have put on your shoulders

800
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,440
Speaker 1: of stand there and do this scene and be a

801
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:06,800
Speaker 1: professional with this person who has been actively abusing you.

802
00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:11,000
Speaker 1: That's not okay. Well we made the best I bet

803
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 1: I was real perky on set that day. You didn't

804
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 1: know you were. But I think what is hard and

805
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 1: what's important for folks at home to remember because some

806
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 1: some of what feels obvious to us because we lived

807
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 1: it for so long isn't always to other people. But

808
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:31,799
Speaker 1: you know, there's two hundred people on a set. There's

809
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 1: a lot of people whose livelihoods and families depend on

810
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 1: that job and our job, no matter what is happening

811
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:42,360
Speaker 1: in our lives or how hard it is or traumatizing,

812
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 1: what kind of loss you're going through. Somebody in your

813
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:46,840
Speaker 1: family could have died, and it doesn't matter. You have

814
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:48,520
Speaker 1: to get up and show up at exactly the time

815
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:50,840
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be there. There are no sick days

816
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:54,560
Speaker 1: like it's it's just not like that. And you had

817
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 1: to come in and you had to do your job,

818
00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:01,839
Speaker 1: regardless of all of the ways that you were being

819
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 1: hoped and prodded by that adult. And you you not

820
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 1: only came in, I mean I we watched you do

821
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 1: it for years. You came in and entertained to the

822
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 1: crew and made everybody feel happy, and you acted your

823
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 1: face off in that scene, and again the person you

824
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 1: were acting opposite across from that, there was nobody home,

825
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:24,879
Speaker 1: nothing was going on. We weren't being given any inspiration.

826
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 1: I wanted to trade places with Joy in this episode.

827
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 1: Joy with that head bandage, I'm like, God, d how

828
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 1: do I get that job? But also how many times

829
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 1: did you take a nap and off the whole time?

830
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:42,360
Speaker 1: The whole time? I don't know why we was we

831
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 1: were joking about. I don't know why I was being

832
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:45,920
Speaker 1: punished for something, which is why I ended up with

833
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 1: you know, and not able to really be in the episode,

834
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 1: but also was in crutches for the rest of the season.

835
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,919
Speaker 1: I think, um, but yeah, no, I mean it was nice.

836
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:57,800
Speaker 1: It was nice to have a break. I guess I

837
00:46:57,920 --> 00:46:59,759
Speaker 1: was like, all right, I'll take it. I didn't really

838
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 1: I'm getting paid. It didn't really get to me. I

839
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:05,439
Speaker 1: was like, fine, yeah, pay me to sleep here on set.

840
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:09,320
Speaker 1: That sounds great. If you notice Daniel's not in the episode,

841
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:14,319
Speaker 1: she kept getting taken away from her. Um Peyton is god,

842
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 1: I had to deal. Um you got violently hit by

843
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:24,360
Speaker 1: a car. Like if they thought that with violence against

844
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:26,960
Speaker 1: women was their ticket to the male audience, they have

845
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 1: doubled down on that Haley hit And at least you

846
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 1: got to be goth Sophia. That was so fun. Oh

847
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:38,520
Speaker 1: my gosh, Goth Brook. I need to see Sophia, like, please,

848
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:41,239
Speaker 1: please do a red carpet goth look one day. I

849
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 1: really want to see that. I would love to. Honestly,

850
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 1: it's like you know when when you see and I

851
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:51,040
Speaker 1: know it's become like a weird social media frenzy gross thing.

852
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:55,200
Speaker 1: But like the the iconography of what the met Ball is,

853
00:47:55,680 --> 00:48:00,279
Speaker 1: and like the exhibitions of historical fashion and and like

854
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:04,239
Speaker 1: before it became like an Instagram event, I just find it,

855
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 1: like I have found it to be so like like

856
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 1: like the fact that you that you can have an

857
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 1: alive museum is the coolest thing in the world to me.

858
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:17,800
Speaker 1: And and you know, sometimes they do those things like

859
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 1: there was a there was a year I don't remember

860
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 1: what the theme was, but like some I don't even

861
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:25,759
Speaker 1: remember who he was. Some guy went in like a

862
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:30,800
Speaker 1: full like metal sleeve and glove that looked like something

863
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 1: that you know from from the Catherine the Great era,

864
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 1: like like warrior armor. You know. Um, I find that

865
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 1: all to be so cool. And I'm like, man, if

866
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 1: there was a theme at something like that, like was

867
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 1: hot topic, hot topic, I wanting to blew all of

868
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:57,560
Speaker 1: brooks piercings on on, like the lips and nose and

869
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 1: the bridge and then and it was so fun. And

870
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:04,360
Speaker 1: what we tried to go for with the with the

871
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:08,759
Speaker 1: wig was to not have it be so over. But

872
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:10,440
Speaker 1: when you find out at the end of the episode

873
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 1: that Brooke has gone dark, she's never forgiven herself. She

874
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:17,200
Speaker 1: blames herself in this alternate reality for Peyton's death. We

875
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 1: wanted Goth Brooke to be a reference to Pengel, like

876
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:27,320
Speaker 1: a super long wig that you know. We didn't do

877
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:30,440
Speaker 1: the gray, We did all black. We did the fish nets,

878
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:34,240
Speaker 1: and then we did the eye makeup. Um. We actually

879
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 1: looked at old imagery. See this is where like the

880
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:38,880
Speaker 1: history of fashion is cool to me. We looked at

881
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:42,600
Speaker 1: old imagery of sad clowns, like creepy old French clown

882
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 1: did that like sad clown thing that we would, but

883
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:50,800
Speaker 1: we did it in black for the eyes, so it

884
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 1: looked like she had these like gothic tears the middle

885
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 1: of her like har believe. Really yeah, it was really fun.

886
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 1: I also but I love that our writer's room knows

887
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 1: so little about being goth that they were like, oh, yeah,

888
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:10,719
Speaker 1: one tragedy. You'll do it like God is like put

889
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,399
Speaker 1: in you as a little seed when you're seven years

890
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 1: old and it blooms like in middle school. That's your forest.

891
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:23,879
Speaker 1: Golf forest is not an overnight growth. Guy. Well, it's

892
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:26,800
Speaker 1: also speaks me because like I have some friends like you,

893
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 1: I mean you guys know Kenny and friends at home.

894
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 1: My best friend Kenny is like deeply entrenched in the

895
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 1: punk scene, has been in like was in a punk

896
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:38,879
Speaker 1: band that played in sewers in high school. Kenny's caller

897
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:40,920
Speaker 1: idea on my phone is him with like a twelve

898
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:46,319
Speaker 1: inch mohawk. Yeah, it's like punk and goth and all

899
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:50,800
Speaker 1: of those like very specific avenues. Like it's not a

900
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:53,120
Speaker 1: one hit wonder, but whatever. I had to do it,

901
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 1: and so I really wanted and you made it cool. Yeah,

902
00:50:56,160 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 1: and we wanted to have this reference too, like dark

903
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:04,800
Speaker 1: Peyton in a dark Brook. Yeah, we should have just

904
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:08,360
Speaker 1: stayed dark. Honestly, that would have been so fun. Do

905
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 1: you get more than one line next episode? Joy? Do

906
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 1: you get to say Haley? Haley's parents never show up

907
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:17,920
Speaker 1: still like she's in What does it take for this

908
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,600
Speaker 1: girl's parents to show up in her life? Maybe they're

909
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:23,719
Speaker 1: hanging out with my dad just talking about all those

910
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:28,680
Speaker 1: kids back in tree Hill getting almost raped and almost killed. Yeah,

911
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 1: well they really got to learn how to look out

912
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 1: for themselves, you know what I mean? Like, we got

913
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 1: to teach these kids personal responsibility. Got a tough and all.

914
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:37,960
Speaker 1: They need to go to therapy. That's what needs to happening.

915
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:40,320
Speaker 1: Y'all need to come home, They need to have parents

916
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 1: in their house, and they need to go to counseling.

917
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:46,759
Speaker 1: I have two honorable mentions for this Uh, for this episode,

918
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:51,279
Speaker 1: which is James showing up with his amazing emotional work.

919
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:54,960
Speaker 1: I thought he did such a great job and uh,

920
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 1: and the soundtrack I thought was really really good in

921
00:51:57,680 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 1: this one too. There were some I would love to

922
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:03,160
Speaker 1: just have a soundtrack of this episode because it seemed

923
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:06,399
Speaker 1: like every song I was into. Yeah, I just wanted

924
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:09,360
Speaker 1: to my opinion about those two things. And you know what,

925
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:11,719
Speaker 1: in the honorable mentioned category, we need to talk about

926
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:14,440
Speaker 1: our camera crew. This is what they were able to

927
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:20,320
Speaker 1: do with the director's vision was incredible, and we we

928
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:23,640
Speaker 1: all talked about at the end when you know, when

929
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,080
Speaker 1: they begin to do the zoom in on Lucas still

930
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 1: unconscious in the hospital and then you go back into

931
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:33,360
Speaker 1: tree Hill High with Lucas and Keith, and Keith keeps

932
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 1: moving around like he's popping all over the place, and

933
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 1: that that shot does not cut. It's this beautiful rotating

934
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 1: steadicam shot that's like choreographing ballet. It is so so

935
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:50,800
Speaker 1: hard with a whole crew and a bunch of actors

936
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:54,800
Speaker 1: and the camera operator wearing the steadicam rig. It's a

937
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 1: major undertaking and they did it so beautifully. It was.

938
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 1: It was really great. So honorable mentioned there as well. Well.

939
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:06,960
Speaker 1: Keith just repeating himself. He repeats himself to Dan, I

940
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:09,719
Speaker 1: forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you. And that's

941
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:12,160
Speaker 1: going to be the thing that rings in Dan's ear

942
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,759
Speaker 1: for a while. And then he repeats to Luke over

943
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:18,560
Speaker 1: and over again, open your eyes, open your eyes, open

944
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:20,719
Speaker 1: your eyes, and I don't know if you guys have

945
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 1: ever been visited by a dead friend in a dream,

946
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:28,960
Speaker 1: but I have and it I cried in this episode,

947
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:31,520
Speaker 1: not because I was affected by the episode, but because

948
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:35,239
Speaker 1: my visceral memory of that dream with my friend is

949
00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:40,400
Speaker 1: still so like, it's so tangible, it's so real that

950
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:44,160
Speaker 1: anything can trigger it. You know, an episode of a

951
00:53:44,239 --> 00:53:46,319
Speaker 1: teen drama can trigger it. And it's like I can

952
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:50,279
Speaker 1: smell my friend and the eyes when it happens, it's

953
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:53,680
Speaker 1: in your bone and it stays forever. The idea that

954
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:56,320
Speaker 1: Luke is going to wake up and have that have

955
00:53:56,480 --> 00:54:00,439
Speaker 1: that static electricity cling on him from Keith to visit,

956
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 1: I'm excited to see like where that goes. The look

957
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:06,960
Speaker 1: of recognition in his eyes when he opened his eyes

958
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 1: in that hospital bed, not just of it was so

959
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:12,200
Speaker 1: he did such a great job with that. He opened

960
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 1: his eyes and it was like you knew exactly in

961
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,480
Speaker 1: that moment that he knew, he knew something, he knew,

962
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:19,400
Speaker 1: Dan killed, Keith knew. It was like he had the information.

963
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:22,759
Speaker 1: Good job. It was really really great. And you know

964
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:25,960
Speaker 1: what else I loved because you brought it up and

965
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:27,880
Speaker 1: the one that I actually wrote down, the thing that

966
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:31,600
Speaker 1: Keith keeps saying, is it's okay, Just breathe, It's gonna

967
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 1: be okay. And you learned that that's what he said

968
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:36,640
Speaker 1: to Nathan in the water, and that that's what he's

969
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:38,520
Speaker 1: saying to Lucas, and he says it to Nathan and

970
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:41,319
Speaker 1: he says it to care every and you realize when

971
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:44,919
Speaker 1: he says when when Luke is almost in tears saying

972
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:46,399
Speaker 1: I don't want you to go, and he says, I'm

973
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:50,120
Speaker 1: with you every day, you realized Keith is with these people.

974
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:51,759
Speaker 1: And that's what did it for me. I like I

975
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:55,120
Speaker 1: could cry right now. That's what brought me back to

976
00:54:56,120 --> 00:55:01,200
Speaker 1: my own experience, like waking up in tears from a

977
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 1: dream or or a or an in between places like

978
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:08,239
Speaker 1: visit lost and you go like, I feel it on

979
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:12,920
Speaker 1: the insides of my bone. It's really it was really beautiful.

980
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 1: We all need a visit. Well. We have a listener

981
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 1: question from Nicole who says, so many of the River

982
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:32,360
Speaker 1: Court boys have nicknames. We've got mouth junk skills, Fergie,

983
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:36,400
Speaker 1: does Lucas have a River Court nickname? I don't believe so,

984
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:38,920
Speaker 1: but if he did, what would it be. That's like

985
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:44,640
Speaker 1: a pretty point, you think pretty totally be pretty boy.

986
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:48,279
Speaker 1: I feel like like Skills has called him all all

987
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 1: sorts of a manner of things. Um, but at this moment,

988
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 1: I can't recall any of them. I would use the

989
00:55:55,880 --> 00:56:01,200
Speaker 1: nickname from the sand Lot Squints, because we always teased,

990
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:04,280
Speaker 1: We always tease chat about kind of that blue steel

991
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 1: broody look, and Squints is my favorite Sandlot character. Well,

992
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:12,120
Speaker 1: that's why they started calling him broody broody. Remember they

993
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:15,759
Speaker 1: started calling me cheery and you broody him broody? Was

994
00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:18,520
Speaker 1: it me cheery or wait? I can't remember. I've never

995
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 1: been cheery in my life, so it was definitely. I

996
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:23,560
Speaker 1: was like, wait, was that like a sarcastic thing that

997
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:25,719
Speaker 1: they said to patting about I'm gonna start calling you

998
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:29,759
Speaker 1: that Hillary Cheery, Hi Cheerry. No. But that's why I

999
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:31,759
Speaker 1: like one of the writers, you know, put that in

1000
00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:34,920
Speaker 1: an episode and they started calling Lucas broody rudy, and

1001
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 1: it is funny Squintson Skills, that's funny Squints and Skills

1002
00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:43,200
Speaker 1: and feels more like mouth junk like it's more of

1003
00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 1: a yeah, he nailed it. Good one, Well done you guys,

1004
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us for this one.

1005
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:51,880
Speaker 1: What a great episode. If you didn't watch it, and

1006
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:53,719
Speaker 1: you're just kind of listening to our podcast because you

1007
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:56,120
Speaker 1: like hearing our voices in your car or your living room.

1008
00:56:57,239 --> 00:56:59,840
Speaker 1: Thank you. But also we recommend going back to watch this.

1009
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,440
Speaker 1: In the last one, they were really special ones. These

1010
00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:07,239
Speaker 1: are really powerful for sure. Um, ladies, do we want

1011
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:12,600
Speaker 1: to Spinsy Wheel? I would like to Spinsy Weed. Honestly,

1012
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:14,840
Speaker 1: I'm feeling so emo that I was like, Okay, I

1013
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:16,640
Speaker 1: love you guys, let's see you next week. You guys,

1014
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:19,320
Speaker 1: I'm so emo. I just sat on my phone last

1015
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:21,800
Speaker 1: night and watch my Chemical Romance music videos. So this

1016
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:29,160
Speaker 1: episode right, Oh my god, I love it. Most likely

1017
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 1: to host their own TV talk show, Uh, Erica Marsh.

1018
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 1: Well maybe actually, maybe it's not Erica Marsh. Maybe it's

1019
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:42,320
Speaker 1: Catherine Bayless in a different character. Didn't Danille or dan

1020
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:45,840
Speaker 1: have a talk show after I left? Yeh yeah, that

1021
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:50,200
Speaker 1: was like a Tony Robbins. That's so dark. I can't wait.

1022
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:57,240
Speaker 1: But we thought Katherine Bayless would totally host her own

1023
00:57:57,320 --> 00:58:00,080
Speaker 1: TV show and she'd be great at it. Yeah, as

1024
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:03,120
Speaker 1: a party, I want to see that right now. Mhm.

1025
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:09,439
Speaker 1: Just like Southern Stuff with Catherine would be my favorite show.

1026
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:14,680
Speaker 1: She just do fun stuff like all these flowers? Yeah? Yeah,

1027
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:18,720
Speaker 1: why why doesn't she have a podcast? At least? Yeah?

1028
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:21,480
Speaker 1: I find it would be like designing women, but real,

1029
00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:25,280
Speaker 1: I would love that. I don't know, guys, I I

1030
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 1: love a talk show, like I just think they're the

1031
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:31,280
Speaker 1: most fun getting to him. I mean, that's why I

1032
00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 1: started my podcast, Like I was like, I just want

1033
00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:38,040
Speaker 1: to talk to people every day. What a cool thing,

1034
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 1: and like now we get to do it. I don't know,

1035
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 1: that might be like a later, later in life thing

1036
00:58:42,880 --> 00:58:44,800
Speaker 1: that I just want to do. I can see that.

1037
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:50,840
Speaker 1: What character though, what character would do this? I mean

1038
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:54,920
Speaker 1: I know Paul well Dan did it, so it feels

1039
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:59,120
Speaker 1: like the obvious answer. But yeah, I could totally. I

1040
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:01,120
Speaker 1: guess maybe now that you've said it, like I could

1041
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:05,040
Speaker 1: see Erica Marsh being the like local news you know

1042
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:08,040
Speaker 1: in the morning should just be so cute. Also like

1043
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:15,720
Speaker 1: Erica and Mouth being together. Yes, Erica Marsh and Mouth

1044
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 1: hosting morning television. I live for this. Yeah, wake Up Tree, Hail,

1045
00:59:20,960 --> 00:59:27,200
Speaker 1: wake Up Morning Dying. I love it. Um, what do

1046
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 1: we have next week? Yeah? Next episode? Season four, episode eleven,

1047
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 1: Everything in its Right place? Wow, finally not a title

1048
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:41,160
Speaker 1: that we earned a final finding our happy again happy place.

1049
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:48,040
Speaker 1: Everyone's out of their coma. We did everybody lives. You

1050
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 1: gotta lie, you gotta lie. Okay, all right? Bro Loo

1051
00:59:54,840 --> 01:00:01,880
Speaker 1: for you, I Love for you, Love you by Hey.

1052
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:04,320
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Don't forget to leave us a review.

1053
01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 1: You can also follow us on Instagram at Drama Queens O.

1054
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 1: T H. Or email us at Drama Queens at I

1055
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:15,880
Speaker 1: heart radio dot com. See you next time. We are

1056
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:19,160
Speaker 1: all about that high school drama. Girl Drama Girl, all

1057
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:22,280
Speaker 1: about them high school queens. We'll take you for a

1058
01:00:22,480 --> 01:00:26,440
Speaker 1: ride in our comic Girl Cheering for the right drama queens,

1059
01:00:26,520 --> 01:00:30,240
Speaker 1: drawn up girl fashion, but your tough girls. You could

1060
01:00:30,240 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 1: sit with us. Girl Drama Queens, Drama Queens Drama, Queen's Drama, Drama,

1061
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:35,880
Speaker 1: Queen's Drama Queens