WEBVTT - Give compliments that last

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to give compliments that last. The best compliments

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<v Speaker 1>tend to highlight something that the other person values but

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<v Speaker 1>that they feel isn't always broadly recognized. Get this right

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<v Speaker 1>and you will create good feelings that won't go away soon. So,

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<v Speaker 1>as you go about your life, people probably say nice

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<v Speaker 1>things to you, and some of these compliments won't really register,

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<v Speaker 1>but some you likely hold on. To think about which

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<v Speaker 1>compliments have you beaming or finding a way to tell

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<v Speaker 1>someone else about them, or printing them up, or even

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<v Speaker 1>framing the note. My guess is that these compliments have

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<v Speaker 1>some things in common. First, they highlight something that you

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<v Speaker 1>think is really important. They touch on one of your

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<v Speaker 1>core values, and thus you feel like the compliment matters. Second,

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<v Speaker 1>the compliment needs to touch on something that you feel

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<v Speaker 1>you are doing well or are at least working on

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<v Speaker 1>and making progress with. But that isn't something people say

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<v Speaker 1>all the time. A supermodel is not going to get

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<v Speaker 1>excited about a your pretty compliment, and someone who just

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<v Speaker 1>won the Nobel Prize is not going to be printing

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<v Speaker 1>up a note pointing out their intelligence. It needs to

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<v Speaker 1>be more memorable and insightful than that. So, for example,

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<v Speaker 1>I recently got a note that I printed up because

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<v Speaker 1>it checked all those boxes. The person had just decided

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<v Speaker 1>to read my books, which is a pretty huge compliment

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<v Speaker 1>right there. But she also told me how much she

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<v Speaker 1>liked that each book was entirely different from the others.

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<v Speaker 1>Producing that much genuinely helpful and fresh material is just

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<v Speaker 1>an incredible feat. She said, Well, I was pretty excited

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<v Speaker 1>about that, So I hit print right away and I

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<v Speaker 1>put that note somewhere. I can look at it a lot,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm telling you about it. I have written a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of books, but I do genuinely work hard to

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<v Speaker 1>make sure I am not saying the exact same thing

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<v Speaker 1>every time. So to have someone point out something that

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<v Speaker 1>I think is important meant a lot to me. I

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<v Speaker 1>am sure you could think of something that would specifically

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<v Speaker 1>make you smile. Maybe it's an employee thanking you for

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<v Speaker 1>taking the time to talk with them and then telling

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<v Speaker 1>you that your feedback was genuinely ful and encouraging. Giving

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<v Speaker 1>useful feedback is hard, and an employee recognizing that feels

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<v Speaker 1>good because you know that your effort is being seen.

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<v Speaker 1>Or maybe it's someone at your dentist's office telling you

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<v Speaker 1>how nice your teenage children are and that you must

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<v Speaker 1>be doing something right. You know that you work hard

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<v Speaker 1>on getting your kids to speak pleasantly and look people

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<v Speaker 1>in the eye and mind their manners, and here someone

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<v Speaker 1>is noticing all that and calling it out. Talk about

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<v Speaker 1>warm fuzzies. You remember those compliments that make you feel seen,

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<v Speaker 1>So why not try to give a few such compliments

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<v Speaker 1>this week to the people in your life. Think about

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<v Speaker 1>someone that you are close to and that you would

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<v Speaker 1>like to encourage. What do you think that person likes

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<v Speaker 1>about herself? What does she value? What do you think

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<v Speaker 1>she feels the world doesn't necessarily see. You may already

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<v Speaker 1>know this, but one way to figure it out is

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<v Speaker 1>to analyze the stories the person tells about himself. When

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<v Speaker 1>he or she really wants to tell you a story,

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<v Speaker 1>what attribute does it tend to highlight. Maybe it's technical knowledge,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe it's being able to win over someone who is

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit gruff. Listen to these stories and take note. Then,

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<v Speaker 1>when an opportunity arises, see if you can incorporate these

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<v Speaker 1>attributes into a compliment. Wow, Mary, that was amazing how

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<v Speaker 1>you handled those questions in our pitch meeting. People don't

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<v Speaker 1>understand how hard it is to be a salesperson and

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<v Speaker 1>have that level of technical knowledge. You combine the two

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<v Speaker 1>really well. Or Robert, you are always so pleasant, even

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<v Speaker 1>at the end of a hard shift, and I know

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<v Speaker 1>it takes a lot of effort to do that. It's

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<v Speaker 1>why people love working with you. It is not exactly

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<v Speaker 1>hard to give compliments. Most people love to hear good

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<v Speaker 1>things about themselves, but it does take a bit more

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<v Speaker 1>effort to do it well. It takes some thought to

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<v Speaker 1>give a compliment that really boosts someone's self esteem and

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<v Speaker 1>makes them think they're doing something right. But that is

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<v Speaker 1>effort well spent. Because it takes a compliment from good

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<v Speaker 1>to great, it makes it memorable. It can make someone's day.

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<v Speaker 1>In the meantime, This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and

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<v Speaker 1>here's to making the most of our timee Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at before Breakfast pod

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<v Speaker 1>that's b the number four then Breakfast p o D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>podcasts at iHeartMedia dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled

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<v Speaker 1>out with all the letters, thanks so much, should I

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<v Speaker 1>look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

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<v Speaker 1>production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

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