WEBVTT - Doula Right Thing 0:00:00.680 --> 0:00:29.160 Zion, unsure, what the balance? Hell, I touch my belly, 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:31.319 overwhelmed by word. 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:36.519 I have been chosen to perform. But then a name 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:41.360 your came on one day, sold me to Nail Dollan Gray. 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:45.159 Born to me, a man child would be born. 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:51.280 Buld is crazy, stirf home stance, I knew his life, 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:52.959 desert chance. 0:00:53.560 --> 0:00:56.680 Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices. I'm Erica and 0:00:56.760 --> 0:00:57.320 I'm Nila. 0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:01.000 Wednesday was it? 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:02.040 What's going on? 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:05.840 Nothing? Anything new? 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:11.880 It's still retro grade. 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:14.880 Yeah, it's gonna be we have some time. 0:01:17.840 --> 0:01:18.800 No, not really. 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:22.240 I mean yesterday I had a really Iria had a 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:27.000 tantrum for like an hour, and I might have yelled 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:29.880 at her like a crazy person. I felt really bad afterwards. 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:32.560 She was just scream it was about ice cream. Well, 0:01:32.560 --> 0:01:33.880 she didn't want to go to my she didn't want 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:35.600 to go to my grandma's house that I could go 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:37.760 to therapy, and I was like, I have to go 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:39.720 to therapy. And I didn't tell her that. I was 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:42.000 like going to the doctor and she's like I want 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:43.720 to go. I was like, well, I'll get you ice cream, 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:45.200 and then she was like I want ice cream, and 0:01:45.240 --> 0:01:46.960 then the screaming kept happening. I was like, well, you're 0:01:46.959 --> 0:01:49.520 not gonna get ice cream if you keep screaming. And 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:53.040 then she just kept screaming and like screaming, like like. 0:01:53.000 --> 0:01:54.120 That, oh my god. 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:56.560 And like I was also on a conference call and 0:01:56.640 --> 0:01:58.560 so there was people talking in my ear and my 0:01:58.640 --> 0:02:00.960 daughter was screaming. It was just a lot was happening, 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:03.240 and I think I just woke up that morning just 0:02:03.240 --> 0:02:07.440 feeling on edge, period tired, and she was in mid 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:12.840 scream and then I just was like and then I 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:14.440 was like do you like and I just kept screaming. 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:16.440 I was like, you like the way this feels. This 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:18.040 is what it feels like when you scream at me. 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:20.840 And then she got really scared and she started like 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:21.600 backing away. 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:25.120 It's so funny how kids suddenly you do what they 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:26.400 do and they're scared. 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:28.200 Right, And I was just like, I'm doing exactly what 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:30.520 you're doing. So I felt like it was it was 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:32.960 even playing field. And then afterwards, obviously I was like, 0:02:32.960 --> 0:02:38.639 I'm thirty one. I was like, not an even it's 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:39.520 this is not good. 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:41.440 I called you and you're like, oh no, no, I'm 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:44.440 just feeling really I was like, okay, you need to 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:46.720 go home and so sweet. I almost asked you to 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:48.160 do something. I said, oh, maybe you should emit. 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:51.960 I was like, she's like, you're like naw, okay, okay, 0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:54.799 and then you started getting mad at irin you don't 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:55.639 even deserve ice. 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:56.440 Screamed because you. 0:02:56.560 --> 0:02:59.000 I was like, okay, I'm gonna call you that guy, 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:04.040 catchu lated. It was just one of those mornings, little 0:03:04.040 --> 0:03:05.280 bitch that was like at four o'clock. 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:07.720 Okay, well, because because it kept happening even after I 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:09.440 picted her. Well, then I went to therapy and then 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:11.400 that I didn't When I left, I didn't feel good. 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:14.679 And then I picked her up, and then she didn't 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:16.560 want to go to piano class and she was crying 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:18.720 about that and I was just like, I can't deal 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:20.680 with life today. And then I was like, there's no 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:23.360 way I'm giving her ice cream today. There's no fucking way. 0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:25.880 And then I gave her ice cream because she's cute, 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:30.160 and I felt bad for you screaming at her. My 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:34.160 therapist said it was fine. I told her. I was like, 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:35.160 I just screamed at her. 0:03:35.280 --> 0:03:35.880 I don't know. 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:40.120 Anyway, how about you. 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:44.840 You're good, I'm good, Yeah, I'm good. You know, normal 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:48.520 adult shit and I'm an adult, so I gotta take it. 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:51.640 So that's it pretty much, except for the fact I 0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:55.440 keep forgetting things. Okay, So we have a very special 0:03:55.480 --> 0:04:00.920 guest today, Mama birth were a birth worker. 0:04:02.600 --> 0:04:03.640 No, that's a legit term. 0:04:03.720 --> 0:04:10.760 Okay, certified doula, certified doula, childbirth educator, women's wellness expert. 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:11.600 I don't know. 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:14.160 I was thinking sex worker and I was like, birth worker, 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:18.320 same right, she has a birth worker birth worker? 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:18.719 I did. 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:20.680 Yeah, I just never heard anyone who was that term before. 0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:24.320 Yeah, it's a legit term. It's typically for women or 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:26.880 people individuals who work in the birth world and have 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:28.159 multiple hats they wear. 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:30.640 Okay, got it. I will tell us a little bit 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:31.240 about yourself. 0:04:31.279 --> 0:04:37.839 Sam, awesome. Okay. Well, my son just turn eight going 0:04:37.880 --> 0:04:41.200 on twenty. Like we talked about earlier, he is just 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:44.200 the light of my life. He's my favorite thing on 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:47.400 the planet, and he constantly makes me want to rip 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:49.719 my hair out. And when he's away from me, I 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:52.800 missed him within thirty minutes and want him home. And 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:58.000 he's just the reason I do everything that I do 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:00.920 and he makes me so happy. And I'm a single mom, 0:05:01.480 --> 0:05:05.240 newly single, but not that way, I haven't been with 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:07.920 his father in about four and a half years. 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:09.120 I am. 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:11.360 I'm all the things you guys said. I remember birth doula. 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:14.080 I'm an author. Now my book comes out in like 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:16.920 forty five days, and I'm kind of losing my shit. 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:19.880 But that's just I'm looking at all of my mentors. 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:21.480 You guys know who Brene Brown is. 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:25.840 That sounds Oh she was in the movie with the Mom's. 0:05:26.640 --> 0:05:29.320 No, she's so she's got a Netflix special right now. 0:05:29.400 --> 0:05:31.680 Well she's okay, So there's if you haven't seen it, 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:33.600 there's remember we try to watch it. 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:36.000 We got high and fell asleep with them. 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:38.600 Like they're like older women and they're like trying to have 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:40.040 fun and palm springs for the weekend. 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:40.800 It's on Netflix. 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:43.000 We watch Oh natres or. 0:05:43.160 --> 0:05:45.880 No, she's speaker, yeah, and a psychologist. 0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:47.360 But there's a part in the movie. 0:05:47.400 --> 0:05:49.040 It's the thing with Tina Fey, Right, there's a part 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:50.919 in the movie and they're like, oh my god, is. 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:51.400 That for me? 0:05:52.279 --> 0:05:57.720 Oh yeah, is it a wine country or something? Yeah? Okay, okay, okay, 0:05:58.440 --> 0:05:59.640 we just want to ask you a couple of questions. 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:03.080 So that's Oh my god, I love that. Okay, So 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:06.360 my mentors that they don't know they are my mentors, 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:11.279 like Brinane Brown and Oprah they don't know there are 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:14.120 my mentors, but they are my mentors. Right well, everything 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:16.320 that I've heard them say that the ship that they 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:19.839 went through, I'm literally going through all of it right now. 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:24.719 So I'm like this is to be expected, Like, yeah, 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:31.520 I'm where I need to be next up Oprah. 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:34.080 Right So, I'm just like it's my life and my 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:37.200 masturbation manifestation kidding. 0:06:39.240 --> 0:06:43.640 Masturbate way in a non sexual masturbating. 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:46.960 Way, like a manifestation while masturbating type of way. 0:06:47.360 --> 0:06:48.600 That's some powerful ship right there. 0:06:48.680 --> 0:06:52.000 It is, it is. I'm I'm totally We actually met 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:54.560 a girl who told us about it, and I was like, wait, 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:56.880 that makes total sense, and and then I tried it 0:06:56.920 --> 0:06:58.960 and then afterwards it was actually the first time I 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:00.960 did it was I thought about being interviewed by Oprah 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:03.479 Like basically what I do is like I obviously have 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:05.760 to be turned on. And then right as I'm about 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:08.000 to come, like I start thinking about something that is 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:10.280 really it's something that I really want. It's not even sexual, 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:11.480 but already. 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:12.240 There bimaltic state. 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:16.280 Yeah, And so after that I feel so energized, and 0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:18.920 like when I did that that the first time, I 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:21.000 immediately wanted to work. I was like, let me on 0:07:21.040 --> 0:07:25.440 my computer and like, mesen some emails, get me to Oprah. Yeah, 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:26.679 let me do some ship exactly. 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:27.440 I love it. 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:30.040 I couldn't believe it. I was like, this is fucking weird. 0:07:30.280 --> 0:07:31.960 Like she's like, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna masturbate 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:33.240 every damn day now. 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:35.080 No, I do a lot. I mean that there's the 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:39.840 Oprah and not always to manifestations. That was just pure 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:43.040 It's just pleasure, my favorite porn category. 0:07:43.120 --> 0:07:46.320 But dick is your favorite porn categy. No, I'm just 0:07:46.360 --> 0:07:48.480 saying it's my favorite porn category. 0:07:50.240 --> 0:07:52.360 Just because your favorite porn category, just because you've switched 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:57.800 it up recently. Hey, thedom, calm down. 0:07:57.920 --> 0:08:03.040 I didn't tell anybody that thanks a lot, one new category. 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:08.800 Tell a friend. The bitch tells everybody. 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:14.440 Anyway, I don't know what we got on porn Oprah Okay, 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:15.400 yes that's. 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:22.520 What Oprah's where we were ye yeah, so so basically 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:27.040 just everywhere they said that i'd be is where I am. 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:29.560 You know, you're just you're like about to hit a 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:34.200 new level and people. There's people that you really love 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:36.360 and respect and admire and people you really don't give 0:08:36.360 --> 0:08:39.839 two ships about that you never think about. Like both 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:42.360 types of people all of a sudden like start throwing 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:44.960 shade at you and don't want to see you succeed. 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:48.040 And what I found, and I've known this for a 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:52.120 really long time, but I'm finding it significantly so recently, 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:55.600 is that when you're around you're the sum of the 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:58.320 five people you spend the most of the time with. Right, So, 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:01.520 when you're around people that are playing at a different level, 0:09:01.559 --> 0:09:03.920 and you decide to do something incredible with yourself or 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:06.120 your life and you want to up level, you're gonna 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:09.160 have two types of energies come from people. The people 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:12.240 that love and support you regardless and the people who 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:15.199 feel inferior by what you're doing. So they're going to 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:17.800 try to stop you because the bigger you get, the 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:20.640 smaller makes them feel. Even if it's from a place of. 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:23.520 Love, they don't realize it's like a toxic. 0:09:23.200 --> 0:09:27.440 Type of Oh, they don't realize that at all. This 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:30.719 can be one of your best friends just. 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:32.160 Want to like, oh, your dream is too big. 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:38.960 Maybe plant seeds of like questioning the seeds. 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:40.960 Of doubt, like are you sure you really want to 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:44.200 do that? Or what makes you think you're capable of that? 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:46.680 Or what it happens if it doesn't work out. 0:09:46.840 --> 0:09:51.440 Yes, that's my favorite. That's my favorite one. And I'm like, 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:53.280 right now, I'm in the space where I'm like, you 0:09:53.280 --> 0:09:55.679 know what, I got a lot of self doubt on 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:58.400 my own. I don't need yours too, But we're good. 0:09:58.559 --> 0:10:01.440 I'm good in that department. So you show up and 0:10:01.480 --> 0:10:04.640 you rally with me, or just go deal with your 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:07.200 inner personal ship. Because when people throw shit at you, 0:10:07.280 --> 0:10:09.760 it's never a reflection of you, it's a reflection of them. 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:12.000 So I'm not that interesting place right now. 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:13.959 Interesting, that's true. 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:17.640 I think we get frustrated because we don't realize that 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:19.600 people are not doing it intentionally. 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:24.000 It's just them. It's the rejecting. Yeah. 0:10:24.040 --> 0:10:27.240 So I know Sam because she Duela the two of 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:30.720 my my my best friends, but both wait, my best 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:31.840 friend's births. 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:36.960 Baby babies, bab she duel it for both of her births. 0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:39.480 That's amazing. Those were both really good birsts. 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:43.280 I I the first one I missed because my phone 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:46.120 was off and I was so angry. 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:48.880 I was so mad that no one called me more. 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:51.200 I was like, why didn't you call my baby daddy? 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:54.880 I was furious. I was so furious that I got 0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:55.520 to her. 0:10:55.360 --> 0:10:57.800 So you made her birth about you? 0:10:57.320 --> 0:11:02.440 I did, literally, I got Erica Erica. I was leaning 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:03.400 down when. 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:04.880 I got there and I opened the door and I 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:08.440 just started crying. She did think I did baby over 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:09.120 and saw. 0:11:08.960 --> 0:11:11.200 Her face, but she just walks through the door, just 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:16.280 tears streaming down her face. I was like, ohne oh, honey, 0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:18.559 I cry just thinking about it. 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:21.440 I don't know why I felt so oh, you know 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:23.440 why because I had just had a baby, not just 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:24.360 had a baby, but. 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:27.080 I really really, really really wanted a home birth and 0:11:27.120 --> 0:11:28.040 I didn't get to have it. 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.600 And I had like low key convinced Alana to do it, 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:34.160 and she she finally like was convinced. So I was like, 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:36.160 I should have been here the second second baby. I 0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:38.200 wasn't even in town. I was like, let me FaceTime 0:11:38.200 --> 0:11:39.640 that baby. I'm perfectly fine. 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:42.199 I remember because like a week before we were facetiming. 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:44.880 Do you remember that she should she had like a 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:45.440 false alon. 0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:47.960 Yeah, that's hilarious. 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:51.080 And then Sam was the first person who hugged me. 0:11:51.160 --> 0:11:53.200 She was just like, it's okay. She had a duel 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:53.400 of me. 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:58.240 I legit am everyone's duel atta birth, not just the mom. 0:11:59.000 --> 0:11:59.920 That's probably a thing. 0:11:59.840 --> 0:12:00.880 Right, it's a huge thing. 0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:02.640 As a doula do is that something like you have 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:03.560 to know you're. 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:07.120 Gonna have one. To be honest with you, I would say, 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:10.480 nine times out of ten, I'm the dula for the dad, 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:11.199 not the mom. M. 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:13.920 That's fasting because I would know a lot of dads 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:17.760 are like, we all need that doula. 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:19.040 And they all say that first. They all say that first, 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:22.080 and now they're all like they sing my praises. So 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:26.440 my friend Brandon is the perfect example. I literally never 0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:30.079 met him before I helped his wife deliver her baby 0:12:30.080 --> 0:12:30.880 in up parking lot. 0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:33.959 And parking lot, you just happened to be walking up. 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:37.640 No, Like she had called me, and she was on 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:39.720 baby number two. And I didn't know her when she 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:42.120 had baby number one, but I knew number one was quick, 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:45.560 That's all I knew. And just like with Alana, we 0:12:45.600 --> 0:12:48.360 see patterns, right, so I'm like number two is fall 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:51.720 out of her vagina, right, So she calls me up 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:54.040 and no, she had called it a certain time. I 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:57.320 saw a miscall on my phone and I'm like, she 0:12:57.360 --> 0:13:00.000 shouldn't be calling right now, that's interesting. And I called 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:02.480 back right away and she's like breathing heavy, and she's like, 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:04.480 I think I'm in labor, Like where are you? And 0:13:04.520 --> 0:13:06.520 she's like, I'm in the parking lot of Happy Feet, 0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:10.839 which is like a foot massage place. I'm like, of 0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:14.800 course you're in labor, you're a Happy Feet. She's like, no, 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:16.760 I didn't make it in yet. I'm like, don't move, 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:20.920 I'll be right there. Yes, And I get there and 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:24.280 she's covered in sweat and she's shaking, and this is 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:27.760 very very tall tale signs of transition, which is right 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:30.040 before you deliver. So I look at her and I'm 0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:32.920 like totally calm, like all right, honey, you know what, 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:35.600 I'm just going to take a peek downstairs. Just stay 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:38.480 where you're at. And I look down and she's crowning 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:41.800 in their parking lot, in her car in the parking lot. 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:45.840 So one by one people start showing up. Her husband 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:48.319 calls they have me, her best friend has me on speakerphone. 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:51.199 Her husband he's like, get her. So the hospital he 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:52.800 wanted her to go to was a lot further than 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:54.280 where we're at. He's like, get her there. I'm like, 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:56.920 that's not happening. And we're across the street from another 0:13:56.920 --> 0:13:59.719 hospital called Henry Mayo, and he's like, then just walk 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:01.720 her down Henry may I was like, you don't understand, 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:04.680 that's not happening, Like you just need to be here. 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:09.280 And she held that baby in until he arrived and 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:12.880 we're like the fire departments there. One of my best 0:14:12.920 --> 0:14:15.080 friends who's a midwife. I had called her like I 0:14:15.160 --> 0:14:17.080 called I was calling the troops. I'm like, I'm not 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:19.400 catching a baby in a party. Lot, let me get here, 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:22.800 and she didn't know. I was like on the outside, 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:25.560 you know, yeah, very calm, but with her, I'm like 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:27.840 we're fine, everything's fine. I get out of the car, like, 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:30.640 where the fuck are you here? Fucking now? 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:31.600 Right? 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:34.720 So it worked out. It was beautiful. But the point 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:37.600 of the story is her husband. I see him hop 0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:39.640 out of the car and he's like, Amber, I'm here, 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:42.160 and I grab his hands and I throw them on 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:45.360 her back and I'm like, he's here. Feel him now, 0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:48.000 pushed because she was holding that baby in and like 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:49.800 we didn't have heart tones. We didn't know how baby 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:51.960 was you know, so she baby needed to be delivered, 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:55.680 and I ended up being a gorgeous, beautiful, wonderful birth 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:58.680 and a parking lot amazing story. First after from the 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:01.160 moment I got there to the morment the baby was 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:06.320 born as seventeen minutes. Oh shit, it felt like three hours. Wow, 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:07.560 it was seventeen minutes. 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:08.040 By then. 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:11.480 He was coming from like the moor Park area, and 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:14.400 he flew on the shoulder the whole way to get there. 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:17.360 N Wow. I just got chills thinking about it. I 0:15:17.520 --> 0:15:20.400 just got chilled, like he is on my way, baby, 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:21.320 I'm coming. 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:28.480 To stop me totally, totally And the best part was 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:30.360 her best friend was there, who was in a full 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:33.680 lake cast, like full boots, right, and she's this tiny 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:36.160 little girl and I'm like I needed to go inside 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:38.000 and get gloves and she's like, okay, what kind. 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:40.240 I'm like, just get gloves and she's like okay, because 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:42.520 we have any gloves or anything. So she takes off. 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:44.520 She comes back with like this full lake cast, like 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:47.480 eight pairs of blood. She's like I'm here, I'm here, 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:51.360 and I'm like okay. And then Brandon's dad had got 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:54.080 there and none of us knew he was coming right, 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:56.160 but he called his dad like, hey, my wife's outing 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:58.240 a baby in a parking lot. He rolls up and 0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:00.880 you see this big tall to me I come running 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:03.800 out of a car, and you see little tiny Natalie, 0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:06.040 the best friend in the leg run over there and 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:10.320 grow ten feet tall, sir like checking him, not letting 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:13.120 him get to No woman, Yeah, nobody knew wo he was. 0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:15.240 And she's like no, like she stopped him, and he's 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:19.080 like I'm here. It was the craziest thing, and the 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:19.760 medical run. 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:20.280 Yes. 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:24.480 So the whole point of the story is Brandon, who 0:16:24.480 --> 0:16:26.960 I'd never met before. There ended up being a little 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:29.120 bit of a scare afterwards, you know, like how is 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:31.720 baby doing? We had like a good chunk of time 0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:34.480 from when we got in the ambulance to the hospital 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:37.280 where there was a nervousness and I got to the hospital, 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:39.800 I followed behind them and ended up doing my little 0:16:39.880 --> 0:16:43.040 Duela thing in the hallway with dad. 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:44.760 Wait, wait, was the baby not breathing? 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:45.120 Was it? 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:47.840 Baby was fine, It's just we want to see certain 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:50.280 things when baby's born. So have you ever heard of 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:53.120 an Appgar score? Yeah, so it's the idea, want to 0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:57.120 see baby pinking up breathing well, responding well, and we 0:16:57.120 --> 0:16:59.560 weren't necessarily seeing those things right away. Some babies take 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:02.200 a little bit longer to come around to make eye contact, 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:05.119 just to show signs of thrivingness. 0:17:05.160 --> 0:17:07.480 Because I really understood what that scores. 0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:09.520 Yeah, my other best friend be like, I was an 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:11.800 eight out of ten. I was the highest at gar scar. 0:17:11.840 --> 0:17:13.240 I'm like, what the fuck does that mean. 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:16.840 It just means that we're looking right afterwards for how 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:20.040 well babies responding, and then we check again ten minutes later. 0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:22.840 So some babies pink up right away and they're screaming 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:25.000 and they're very lively, and some babies take time. That's 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:27.399 all it is. So you know, there was a scare 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:31.359 there for a minute, and long story short, we just 0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:33.439 had a very beautiful connection and I was able to 0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:35.359 due let him as well and be there for him 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:38.480 and help him come to center and really take space. 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:42.200 And I've done that for multiple dads and many many 0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:44.320 times since then. We'll be at like a barbecue or 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:46.240 something and Brandon and I are shooting the shit, having 0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:49.880 a beard together, laughing, and everyone's always like, you guys 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:52.840 are really close, Like Brandon's like, totally not that way. 0:17:52.880 --> 0:17:54.560 He's not that friendly with everyone. I'm like, what are 0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:57.760 you tognize the nicest guy in the world, And everyone's like, no, 0:17:57.840 --> 0:17:59.320 he's just that way with you because you're his doula. 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:02.520 What a special feelings for you? You know, And a 0:18:02.560 --> 0:18:04.760 lot of the dads are that way. They really were like, 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:07.440 who's this chick gonna like come intervene in my birth? 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:10.600 And then later they're like, I'll review her. You want 0:18:10.600 --> 0:18:14.320 a video testimony? Oh, what do you need? Because we're 0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:15.960 so much there for them as well. 0:18:16.000 --> 0:18:17.840 You know, that's interesting because I do feel like the 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:20.040 men tend to like freak the fuck out. 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:22.199 The most they do because what you're doing is innate 0:18:22.600 --> 0:18:26.120 and they're seeing you either trying to figure out your space, 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:28.800 which is scary to see because you look very confused 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:32.560 and alone, and or they see very primal and in 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:35.720 your way and it's beautiful and it's powerful, and a 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:37.480 lot of men look at that and they're like, what 0:18:37.640 --> 0:18:38.920 the hell is going on? 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:43.520 How did you become a doula? Like what is the 0:18:43.560 --> 0:18:44.159 process for that? 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:49.840 What made you? Yeah, so I had cervical cancer when 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:55.439 I was nineteen, Wow, And like, what is so? The 0:18:55.480 --> 0:18:58.879