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Speaker 1: Zion, unsure, what the balance? Hell, I touch my belly,

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Speaker 1: overwhelmed by word.

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Speaker 2: I have been chosen to perform. But then a name

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Speaker 2: your came on one day, sold me to Nail Dollan Gray.

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Speaker 1: Born to me, a man child would be born.

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Speaker 2: Buld is crazy, stirf home stance, I knew his life,

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Speaker 2: desert chance.

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Speaker 3: Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices. I'm Erica and

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Speaker 3: I'm Nila.

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Speaker 4: Wednesday was it?

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Speaker 5: What's going on?

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Speaker 4: Nothing? Anything new?

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Speaker 3: It's still retro grade.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's gonna be we have some time.

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Speaker 4: No, not really.

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Speaker 3: I mean yesterday I had a really Iria had a

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Speaker 3: tantrum for like an hour, and I might have yelled

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Speaker 3: at her like a crazy person. I felt really bad afterwards.

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Speaker 3: She was just scream it was about ice cream. Well,

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Speaker 3: she didn't want to go to my she didn't want

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Speaker 3: to go to my grandma's house that I could go

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Speaker 3: to therapy, and I was like, I have to go

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Speaker 3: to therapy. And I didn't tell her that. I was

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Speaker 3: like going to the doctor and she's like I want

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Speaker 3: to go. I was like, well, I'll get you ice cream,

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Speaker 3: and then she was like I want ice cream, and

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Speaker 3: then the screaming kept happening. I was like, well, you're

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Speaker 3: not gonna get ice cream if you keep screaming. And

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Speaker 3: then she just kept screaming and like screaming, like like.

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Speaker 5: That, oh my god.

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Speaker 3: And like I was also on a conference call and

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Speaker 3: so there was people talking in my ear and my

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Speaker 3: daughter was screaming. It was just a lot was happening,

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Speaker 3: and I think I just woke up that morning just

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Speaker 3: feeling on edge, period tired, and she was in mid

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Speaker 3: scream and then I just was like and then I

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Speaker 3: was like do you like and I just kept screaming.

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Speaker 3: I was like, you like the way this feels. This

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Speaker 3: is what it feels like when you scream at me.

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Speaker 3: And then she got really scared and she started like

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Speaker 3: backing away.

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Speaker 6: It's so funny how kids suddenly you do what they

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Speaker 6: do and they're scared.

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Speaker 3: Right, And I was just like, I'm doing exactly what

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Speaker 3: you're doing. So I felt like it was it was

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Speaker 3: even playing field. And then afterwards, obviously I was like,

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Speaker 3: I'm thirty one. I was like, not an even it's

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Speaker 3: this is not good.

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Speaker 5: I called you and you're like, oh no, no, I'm

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Speaker 5: just feeling really I was like, okay, you need to

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Speaker 5: go home and so sweet. I almost asked you to

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Speaker 5: do something. I said, oh, maybe you should emit.

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Speaker 6: I was like, she's like, you're like naw, okay, okay,

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Speaker 6: and then you started getting mad at irin you don't

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Speaker 6: even deserve ice.

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Speaker 5: Screamed because you.

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Speaker 6: I was like, okay, I'm gonna call you that guy,

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Speaker 6: catchu lated. It was just one of those mornings, little

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Speaker 6: bitch that was like at four o'clock.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well, because because it kept happening even after I

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Speaker 3: picted her. Well, then I went to therapy and then

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Speaker 3: that I didn't When I left, I didn't feel good.

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Speaker 3: And then I picked her up, and then she didn't

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Speaker 3: want to go to piano class and she was crying

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Speaker 3: about that and I was just like, I can't deal

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Speaker 3: with life today. And then I was like, there's no

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Speaker 3: way I'm giving her ice cream today. There's no fucking way.

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Speaker 3: And then I gave her ice cream because she's cute,

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Speaker 3: and I felt bad for you screaming at her. My

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Speaker 3: therapist said it was fine. I told her. I was like,

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Speaker 3: I just screamed at her.

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Speaker 6: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, how about you.

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Speaker 5: You're good, I'm good, Yeah, I'm good. You know, normal

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Speaker 5: adult shit and I'm an adult, so I gotta take it.

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Speaker 6: So that's it pretty much, except for the fact I

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Speaker 6: keep forgetting things. Okay, So we have a very special

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Speaker 6: guest today, Mama birth were a birth worker.

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Speaker 4: No, that's a legit term.

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Speaker 3: Okay, certified doula, certified doula, childbirth educator, women's wellness expert.

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 6: I was thinking sex worker and I was like, birth worker,

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Speaker 6: same right, she has a birth worker birth worker?

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Speaker 7: I did.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I just never heard anyone who was that term before.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a legit term. It's typically for women or

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Speaker 4: people individuals who work in the birth world and have

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Speaker 4: multiple hats they wear.

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Speaker 5: Okay, got it. I will tell us a little bit

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Speaker 5: about yourself.

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Speaker 4: Sam, awesome. Okay. Well, my son just turn eight going

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Speaker 4: on twenty. Like we talked about earlier, he is just

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Speaker 4: the light of my life. He's my favorite thing on

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Speaker 4: the planet, and he constantly makes me want to rip

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Speaker 4: my hair out. And when he's away from me, I

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Speaker 4: missed him within thirty minutes and want him home. And

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Speaker 4: he's just the reason I do everything that I do

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Speaker 4: and he makes me so happy. And I'm a single mom,

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Speaker 4: newly single, but not that way, I haven't been with

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Speaker 4: his father in about four and a half years.

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Speaker 3: I am.

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Speaker 4: I'm all the things you guys said. I remember birth doula.

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Speaker 4: I'm an author. Now my book comes out in like

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Speaker 4: forty five days, and I'm kind of losing my shit.

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Speaker 4: But that's just I'm looking at all of my mentors.

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Speaker 4: You guys know who Brene Brown is.

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Speaker 5: That sounds Oh she was in the movie with the Mom's.

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Speaker 4: No, she's so she's got a Netflix special right now.

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Speaker 6: Well she's okay, So there's if you haven't seen it,

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Speaker 6: there's remember we try to watch it.

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Speaker 5: We got high and fell asleep with them.

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Speaker 6: Like they're like older women and they're like trying to have

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Speaker 6: fun and palm springs for the weekend.

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Speaker 5: It's on Netflix.

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Speaker 3: We watch Oh natres or.

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Speaker 4: No, she's speaker, yeah, and a psychologist.

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Speaker 5: But there's a part in the movie.

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Speaker 6: It's the thing with Tina Fey, Right, there's a part

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Speaker 6: in the movie and they're like, oh my god, is.

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Speaker 3: That for me?

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, is it a wine country or something? Yeah? Okay, okay, okay,

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Speaker 4: we just want to ask you a couple of questions.

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Speaker 4: So that's Oh my god, I love that. Okay, So

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Speaker 4: my mentors that they don't know they are my mentors,

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Speaker 4: like Brinane Brown and Oprah they don't know there are

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Speaker 4: my mentors, but they are my mentors. Right well, everything

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Speaker 4: that I've heard them say that the ship that they

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Speaker 4: went through, I'm literally going through all of it right now.

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Speaker 4: So I'm like this is to be expected, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: I'm where I need to be next up Oprah.

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Speaker 3: Right So, I'm just like it's my life and my

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Speaker 3: masturbation manifestation kidding.

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Speaker 4: Masturbate way in a non sexual masturbating.

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Speaker 6: Way, like a manifestation while masturbating type of way.

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Speaker 4: That's some powerful ship right there.

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Speaker 3: It is, it is. I'm I'm totally We actually met

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Speaker 3: a girl who told us about it, and I was like, wait,

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Speaker 3: that makes total sense, and and then I tried it

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Speaker 3: and then afterwards it was actually the first time I

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Speaker 3: did it was I thought about being interviewed by Oprah

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Speaker 3: Like basically what I do is like I obviously have

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Speaker 3: to be turned on. And then right as I'm about

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Speaker 3: to come, like I start thinking about something that is

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Speaker 3: really it's something that I really want. It's not even sexual,

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Speaker 3: but already.

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Speaker 4: There bimaltic state.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And so after that I feel so energized, and

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Speaker 3: like when I did that that the first time, I

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Speaker 3: immediately wanted to work. I was like, let me on

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Speaker 3: my computer and like, mesen some emails, get me to Oprah. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: let me do some ship exactly.

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Speaker 4: I love it.

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Speaker 3: I couldn't believe it. I was like, this is fucking weird.

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Speaker 4: Like she's like, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna masturbate

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Speaker 4: every damn day now.

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Speaker 3: No, I do a lot. I mean that there's the

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Speaker 3: Oprah and not always to manifestations. That was just pure

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Speaker 3: It's just pleasure, my favorite porn category.

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Speaker 5: But dick is your favorite porn categy. No, I'm just

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Speaker 5: saying it's my favorite porn category.

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Speaker 3: Just because your favorite porn category, just because you've switched

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Speaker 3: it up recently. Hey, thedom, calm down.

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Speaker 6: I didn't tell anybody that thanks a lot, one new category.

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Speaker 5: Tell a friend. The bitch tells everybody.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, I don't know what we got on porn Oprah Okay,

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Speaker 3: yes that's.

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Speaker 4: What Oprah's where we were ye yeah, so so basically

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Speaker 4: just everywhere they said that i'd be is where I am.

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Speaker 4: You know, you're just you're like about to hit a

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Speaker 4: new level and people. There's people that you really love

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Speaker 4: and respect and admire and people you really don't give

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Speaker 4: two ships about that you never think about. Like both

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Speaker 4: types of people all of a sudden like start throwing

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Speaker 4: shade at you and don't want to see you succeed.

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Speaker 4: And what I found, and I've known this for a

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Speaker 4: really long time, but I'm finding it significantly so recently,

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Speaker 4: is that when you're around you're the sum of the

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Speaker 4: five people you spend the most of the time with. Right, So,

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Speaker 4: when you're around people that are playing at a different level,

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Speaker 4: and you decide to do something incredible with yourself or

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Speaker 4: your life and you want to up level, you're gonna

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Speaker 4: have two types of energies come from people. The people

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Speaker 4: that love and support you regardless and the people who

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Speaker 4: feel inferior by what you're doing. So they're going to

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Speaker 4: try to stop you because the bigger you get, the

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Speaker 4: smaller makes them feel. Even if it's from a place of.

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Speaker 5: Love, they don't realize it's like a toxic.

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Speaker 4: Type of Oh, they don't realize that at all. This

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Speaker 4: can be one of your best friends just.

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Speaker 3: Want to like, oh, your dream is too big.

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Speaker 5: Maybe plant seeds of like questioning the seeds.

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Speaker 4: Of doubt, like are you sure you really want to

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Speaker 4: do that? Or what makes you think you're capable of that?

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Speaker 5: Or what it happens if it doesn't work out.

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Speaker 4: Yes, that's my favorite. That's my favorite one. And I'm like,

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Speaker 4: right now, I'm in the space where I'm like, you

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Speaker 4: know what, I got a lot of self doubt on

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Speaker 4: my own. I don't need yours too, But we're good.

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Speaker 4: I'm good in that department. So you show up and

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Speaker 4: you rally with me, or just go deal with your

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Speaker 4: inner personal ship. Because when people throw shit at you,

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Speaker 4: it's never a reflection of you, it's a reflection of them.

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Speaker 4: So I'm not that interesting place right now.

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Speaker 5: Interesting, that's true.

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Speaker 6: I think we get frustrated because we don't realize that

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Speaker 6: people are not doing it intentionally.

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Speaker 5: It's just them. It's the rejecting. Yeah.

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Speaker 6: So I know Sam because she Duela the two of

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Speaker 6: my my my best friends, but both wait, my best

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Speaker 6: friend's births.

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Speaker 5: Baby babies, bab she duel it for both of her births.

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Speaker 5: That's amazing. Those were both really good birsts.

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Speaker 6: I I the first one I missed because my phone

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Speaker 6: was off and I was so angry.

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Speaker 5: I was so mad that no one called me more.

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Speaker 5: I was like, why didn't you call my baby daddy?

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Speaker 5: I was furious. I was so furious that I got

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Speaker 5: to her.

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Speaker 3: So you made her birth about you?

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Speaker 4: I did, literally, I got Erica Erica. I was leaning

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Speaker 4: down when.

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Speaker 5: I got there and I opened the door and I

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Speaker 5: just started crying. She did think I did baby over

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Speaker 5: and saw.

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Speaker 4: Her face, but she just walks through the door, just

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Speaker 4: tears streaming down her face. I was like, ohne oh, honey,

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Speaker 4: I cry just thinking about it.

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Speaker 6: I don't know why I felt so oh, you know

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Speaker 6: why because I had just had a baby, not just

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Speaker 6: had a baby, but.

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Speaker 5: I really really, really really wanted a home birth and

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Speaker 5: I didn't get to have it.

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Speaker 6: And I had like low key convinced Alana to do it,

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Speaker 6: and she she finally like was convinced. So I was like,

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Speaker 6: I should have been here the second second baby. I

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Speaker 6: wasn't even in town. I was like, let me FaceTime

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Speaker 6: that baby. I'm perfectly fine.

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Speaker 4: I remember because like a week before we were facetiming.

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Speaker 5: Do you remember that she should she had like a

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Speaker 5: false alon.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's hilarious.

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Speaker 5: And then Sam was the first person who hugged me.

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Speaker 5: She was just like, it's okay. She had a duel

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Speaker 5: of me.

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Speaker 4: I legit am everyone's duel atta birth, not just the mom.

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Speaker 3: That's probably a thing.

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Speaker 4: Right, it's a huge thing.

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Speaker 3: As a doula do is that something like you have

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Speaker 3: to know you're.

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Speaker 4: Gonna have one. To be honest with you, I would say,

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Speaker 4: nine times out of ten, I'm the dula for the dad,

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Speaker 4: not the mom. M.

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Speaker 6: That's fasting because I would know a lot of dads

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Speaker 6: are like, we all need that doula.

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Speaker 4: And they all say that first. They all say that first,

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Speaker 4: and now they're all like they sing my praises. So

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Speaker 4: my friend Brandon is the perfect example. I literally never

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Speaker 4: met him before I helped his wife deliver her baby

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Speaker 4: in up parking lot.

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Speaker 5: And parking lot, you just happened to be walking up.

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Speaker 4: No, Like she had called me, and she was on

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Speaker 4: baby number two. And I didn't know her when she

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Speaker 4: had baby number one, but I knew number one was quick,

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Speaker 4: That's all I knew. And just like with Alana, we

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Speaker 4: see patterns, right, so I'm like number two is fall

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Speaker 4: out of her vagina, right, So she calls me up

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Speaker 4: and no, she had called it a certain time. I

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Speaker 4: saw a miscall on my phone and I'm like, she

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Speaker 4: shouldn't be calling right now, that's interesting. And I called

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Speaker 4: back right away and she's like breathing heavy, and she's like,

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Speaker 4: I think I'm in labor, Like where are you? And

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Speaker 4: she's like, I'm in the parking lot of Happy Feet,

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Speaker 4: which is like a foot massage place. I'm like, of

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Speaker 4: course you're in labor, you're a Happy Feet. She's like, no,

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Speaker 4: I didn't make it in yet. I'm like, don't move,

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Speaker 4: I'll be right there. Yes, And I get there and

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Speaker 4: she's covered in sweat and she's shaking, and this is

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Speaker 4: very very tall tale signs of transition, which is right

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Speaker 4: before you deliver. So I look at her and I'm

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Speaker 4: like totally calm, like all right, honey, you know what,

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Speaker 4: I'm just going to take a peek downstairs. Just stay

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Speaker 4: where you're at. And I look down and she's crowning

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Speaker 4: in their parking lot, in her car in the parking lot.

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Speaker 4: So one by one people start showing up. Her husband

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Speaker 4: calls they have me, her best friend has me on speakerphone.

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Speaker 4: Her husband he's like, get her. So the hospital he

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Speaker 4: wanted her to go to was a lot further than

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Speaker 4: where we're at. He's like, get her there. I'm like,

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Speaker 4: that's not happening. And we're across the street from another

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Speaker 4: hospital called Henry Mayo, and he's like, then just walk

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Speaker 4: her down Henry may I was like, you don't understand,

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Speaker 4: that's not happening, Like you just need to be here.

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Speaker 4: And she held that baby in until he arrived and

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Speaker 4: we're like the fire departments there. One of my best

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Speaker 4: friends who's a midwife. I had called her like I

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Speaker 4: called I was calling the troops. I'm like, I'm not

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Speaker 4: catching a baby in a party. Lot, let me get here,

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Speaker 4: and she didn't know. I was like on the outside,

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Speaker 4: you know, yeah, very calm, but with her, I'm like

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Speaker 4: we're fine, everything's fine. I get out of the car, like,

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Speaker 4: where the fuck are you here? Fucking now?

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Speaker 5: Right?

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Speaker 4: So it worked out. It was beautiful. But the point

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Speaker 4: of the story is her husband. I see him hop

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Speaker 4: out of the car and he's like, Amber, I'm here,

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Speaker 4: and I grab his hands and I throw them on

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Speaker 4: her back and I'm like, he's here. Feel him now,

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Speaker 4: pushed because she was holding that baby in and like

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Speaker 4: we didn't have heart tones. We didn't know how baby

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Speaker 4: was you know, so she baby needed to be delivered,

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Speaker 4: and I ended up being a gorgeous, beautiful, wonderful birth

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Speaker 4: and a parking lot amazing story. First after from the

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Speaker 4: moment I got there to the morment the baby was

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Speaker 4: born as seventeen minutes. Oh shit, it felt like three hours. Wow,

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Speaker 4: it was seventeen minutes.

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Speaker 5: By then.

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Speaker 4: He was coming from like the moor Park area, and

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Speaker 4: he flew on the shoulder the whole way to get there.

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Speaker 4: N Wow. I just got chills thinking about it. I

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Speaker 4: just got chilled, like he is on my way, baby,

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Speaker 4: I'm coming.

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Speaker 7: To stop me totally, totally And the best part was

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Speaker 7: her best friend was there, who was in a full

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Speaker 7: lake cast, like full boots, right, and she's this tiny

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Speaker 7: little girl and I'm like I needed to go inside

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Speaker 7: and get gloves and she's like, okay, what kind.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, just get gloves and she's like okay, because

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Speaker 4: we have any gloves or anything. So she takes off.

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Speaker 4: She comes back with like this full lake cast, like

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Speaker 4: eight pairs of blood. She's like I'm here, I'm here,

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Speaker 4: and I'm like okay. And then Brandon's dad had got

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Speaker 4: there and none of us knew he was coming right,

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Speaker 4: but he called his dad like, hey, my wife's outing

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Speaker 4: a baby in a parking lot. He rolls up and

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Speaker 4: you see this big tall to me I come running

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Speaker 4: out of a car, and you see little tiny Natalie,

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Speaker 4: the best friend in the leg run over there and

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Speaker 4: grow ten feet tall, sir like checking him, not letting

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Speaker 4: him get to No woman, Yeah, nobody knew wo he was.

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Speaker 4: And she's like no, like she stopped him, and he's

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Speaker 4: like I'm here. It was the craziest thing, and the

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Speaker 4: medical run.

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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Speaker 4: So the whole point of the story is Brandon, who

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Speaker 4: I'd never met before. There ended up being a little

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Speaker 4: bit of a scare afterwards, you know, like how is

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Speaker 4: baby doing? We had like a good chunk of time

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Speaker 4: from when we got in the ambulance to the hospital

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Speaker 4: where there was a nervousness and I got to the hospital,

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Speaker 4: I followed behind them and ended up doing my little

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Speaker 4: Duela thing in the hallway with dad.

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Speaker 5: Wait, wait, was the baby not breathing?

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Speaker 6: Was it?

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Speaker 4: Baby was fine, It's just we want to see certain

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Speaker 4: things when baby's born. So have you ever heard of

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Speaker 4: an Appgar score? Yeah, so it's the idea, want to

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Speaker 4: see baby pinking up breathing well, responding well, and we

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Speaker 4: weren't necessarily seeing those things right away. Some babies take

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Speaker 4: a little bit longer to come around to make eye contact,

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Speaker 4: just to show signs of thrivingness.

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Speaker 5: Because I really understood what that scores.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, my other best friend be like, I was an

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Speaker 6: eight out of ten. I was the highest at gar scar.

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Speaker 6: I'm like, what the fuck does that mean.

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Speaker 4: It just means that we're looking right afterwards for how

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Speaker 4: well babies responding, and then we check again ten minutes later.

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Speaker 4: So some babies pink up right away and they're screaming

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Speaker 4: and they're very lively, and some babies take time. That's

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Speaker 4: all it is. So you know, there was a scare

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Speaker 4: there for a minute, and long story short, we just

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Speaker 4: had a very beautiful connection and I was able to

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Speaker 4: due let him as well and be there for him

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Speaker 4: and help him come to center and really take space.

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Speaker 4: And I've done that for multiple dads and many many

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Speaker 4: times since then. We'll be at like a barbecue or

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Speaker 4: something and Brandon and I are shooting the shit, having

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Speaker 4: a beard together, laughing, and everyone's always like, you guys

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Speaker 4: are really close, Like Brandon's like, totally not that way.

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Speaker 4: He's not that friendly with everyone. I'm like, what are

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Speaker 4: you tognize the nicest guy in the world, And everyone's like, no,

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Speaker 4: he's just that way with you because you're his doula.

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Speaker 4: What a special feelings for you? You know, And a

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Speaker 4: lot of the dads are that way. They really were like,

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Speaker 4: who's this chick gonna like come intervene in my birth?

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Speaker 4: And then later they're like, I'll review her. You want

386
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Speaker 4: a video testimony? Oh, what do you need? Because we're

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Speaker 4: so much there for them as well.

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Speaker 6: You know, that's interesting because I do feel like the

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Speaker 6: men tend to like freak the fuck out.

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Speaker 4: The most they do because what you're doing is innate

391
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Speaker 4: and they're seeing you either trying to figure out your space,

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Speaker 4: which is scary to see because you look very confused

393
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Speaker 4: and alone, and or they see very primal and in

394
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Speaker 4: your way and it's beautiful and it's powerful, and a

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Speaker 4: lot of men look at that and they're like, what

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Speaker 4: the hell is going on?

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Speaker 5: How did you become a doula? Like what is the

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Speaker 5: process for that?

399
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Speaker 4: What made you? Yeah, so I had cervical cancer when

400
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Speaker 4: I was nineteen, Wow, And like, what is so? The

401
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,879
Speaker 4: way I contracted it was my boyfriend cheated on me

402
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 4: and got hp and gave it to me, and the

403
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,280
Speaker 4: particular strands there's many forms of HPV. HPV is not

404
00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 4: necessarily like a sexually transmitted disease. It's like you getting

405
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Speaker 4: a cough or a cold. Everyone that's sexually active will

406
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,919
Speaker 4: probably have it at some point or another and not

407
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,640
Speaker 4: even know. But there's many strands of it, and one

408
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,040
Speaker 4: of the strands does have the cervical cancer to aspect

409
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Speaker 4: to it. And I got that was nineteen. Tried Western

410
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,720
Speaker 4: medicine a bunch of times, had two surgeries. It didn't work.

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Speaker 4: It failed, So then they didn't know what to do

412
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Speaker 4: with me. So they threw me to this midwife slash

413
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Speaker 4: obgyn in their practice and they're like, you handle it,

414
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Speaker 4: And she got me meditating, walking, exercising, eating whole foods,

415
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:47,440
Speaker 4: plant based diet, and I recovered very very quickly because

416
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,959
Speaker 4: of that, whereas nothing else worked. So that kind of

417
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 4: like led me on this journey of like just being healthier.

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Speaker 4: So my daddy's from the South and it is all

419
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 4: barbecue and mashed potatoes are the only vegetables. Right. My

420
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 4: mom's Filipino. They eat all parts of the animal, right,

421
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Speaker 4: so I wasn't raised on like the farthest thing from

422
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Speaker 4: a plant based diet, but it made a significant difference

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Speaker 4: in my health, which is another thing that Alana and

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Speaker 4: I really connect on right.

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Speaker 5: Well.

426
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Speaker 4: The reason why I bring that up is I didn't

427
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Speaker 4: know that I was going to be able to have

428
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Speaker 4: kids because there's so much scar tissue on my cervix.

429
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Speaker 4: And my ex and I just found out we were pregnant,

430
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Speaker 4: and it was like the most beautiful blessing, But I

431
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Speaker 4: got something called hyper amesis graviderum. It's what Princess Kate had.

432
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Speaker 4: So you're like so sick you can't even hold down water.

433
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Speaker 4: It was horrible. I lost so much weight, my cheeks

434
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Speaker 4: were all sucked in like a tweaker Like I looked

435
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 4: so unhealthy. It's horrible. So all I could do my

436
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:46,920
Speaker 4: whole pregnancy was I sucked on trail mix, I watched documentaries,

437
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 4: and I played Call of Duty. Yeah, so I googled

438
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 4: like all the different ways to help with motion sickness

439
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,439
Speaker 4: and morning sickness, and I tried all of them. I

440
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 4: did everything, and the only one that made the biggest

441
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,440
Speaker 4: difference is video games. Because your mind is focusing on

442
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 4: something else, so it takes you off of it. So

443
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 4: for like six months I couldn't work. I literally sat

444
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 4: there watched documentaries ate ten different kinds of trail mix

445
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 4: from sprouts to mix it up because I could only

446
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,399
Speaker 4: have like one thing in my mouth and suck on

447
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,119
Speaker 4: it to not throw up. And I came across the

448
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 4: business of being born. I watched and I was like, oh,

449
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,119
Speaker 4: oh shit, Well I never thought that I was going

450
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 4: to do this, but guess I'm having a baby in

451
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:31,359
Speaker 4: a baptim. Like I'm all about it. So I started

452
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,159
Speaker 4: googling and researching, and I found out that it was

453
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,959
Speaker 4: going to cost a lot of money for a midwife

454
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 4: that he didn't have. My ex works in the studios

455
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,159
Speaker 4: we both used to and they were on hiatus. He

456
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:45,119
Speaker 4: literally did not work my entire pregnancy. We could not

457
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 4: afford that, right. It was going to be like fifty

458
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 4: five hundred out of pocket. Insurance didn't cover it, and

459
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 4: I was just like, shit, what are we going to do?

460
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 4: And then I found out about dulas, and I just

461
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 4: I researched my whole pregnancy, and my sister in law

462
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 4: and my cousin's wife and all these women kept coming

463
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 4: to me with pregnancy questions because I knew. All I

464
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:06,080
Speaker 4: did was sit home and research and watched documentaries, and

465
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 4: then one after another people just asked me to start

466
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,959
Speaker 4: attending their births. And I had an incredible birth experience.

467
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 4: And did you.

468
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 3: End up having your son at home?

469
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:18,879
Speaker 4: So what I did was I labored at home, first

470
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,119
Speaker 4: in my shower, which is a whole crazy story for

471
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,240
Speaker 4: another day because it's a long one, and then in

472
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 4: my jacuzzi, and then my doula got there. And then

473
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 4: we had a friend who had a birth center who

474
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,120
Speaker 4: was a midwife, and she let me come there and

475
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 4: check me because I didn't want to get to the hospital.

476
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 4: So I was basically like ready to push and when

477
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 4: I go by the time I was seven centimeters, She's like, Okay,

478
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 4: you can go to the hospital now and have your baby.

479
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 4: So I ended up delivering at the hospital, but I

480
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,880
Speaker 4: was able to labor for most of the time away

481
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,880
Speaker 4: from the hospital, which makes a significant difference.

482
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,399
Speaker 3: So were you like a high risk pregnancy because of

483
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:53,119
Speaker 3: the scar teessue?

484
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,680
Speaker 4: No, but what they did say was one of two

485
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 4: things happens with the scar tissues, So if it's fred

486
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:03,159
Speaker 4: they call it incompetent cervix, which is like such a

487
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 4: demeaning name. All the medical terms for women are incompetent cervix,

488
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 4: Like it's just not good enough. So what happens is

489
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:14,159
Speaker 4: it's soft and it dilates very quickly, which would be

490
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 4: ideal dilate have a baby, right, or that scar t

491
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,919
Speaker 4: issue doesn't want to dilate, And that's what end up

492
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 4: happening to me. So even though I got to the

493
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 4: hospital at seven centimeters, like this is going to go

494
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 4: so fast, transition to the smallest part, Yes, stuck in

495
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 4: transition from eleven in the morning till seven at night

496
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 4: when I delivered, Wow, like the most intense part of labor,

497
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,160
Speaker 4: because that piece of scar tissue when it pop, oh

498
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 4: my god, They're like there's one piece left and if

499
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:42,920
Speaker 4: you push, your cervix is gonna swell and you're gonna

500
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,360
Speaker 4: end up in a C section. So I laid they're

501
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 4: not pushing for a really long time.

502
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 6: When I got pregnant same, I was like super psycho

503
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:57,360
Speaker 6: research pregnancy honestly, like, I don't know what's gonna happen

504
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,400
Speaker 6: in my lifetime, but I would get into birth work,

505
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 6: I would be I would like, that's totally something I

506
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 6: don't know. I don't know if it's that movie makes

507
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 6: everybody want to be in birth work, but I agree.

508
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,399
Speaker 6: But one of the things that during my research, and like,

509
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,399
Speaker 6: first of all, a lot of people don't know a

510
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:13,400
Speaker 6: lot about home birth.

511
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 5: A lot of people don't know that what a duel is,

512
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,880
Speaker 5: what's the difference between a midwife and no idea?

513
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 6: But you know, you explain it really well like your

514
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 6: supporter to mostly the mom, but obviously the dad too.

515
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,359
Speaker 6: But I feel like a lot of people because what

516
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 6: I discovered when I was doing research is like there's

517
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:32,479
Speaker 6: so many things that can like navigate your pregnancy, like

518
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 6: your labor specifically in pregnancy that come up like trauma.

519
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 4: Girl, this is my jam. Nobody talks about this.

520
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 6: And when it came up for me in my many

521
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 6: book research podcasts, crazy shit, I was, I don't know

522
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 6: who was.

523
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:48,640
Speaker 3: Doing all types of shit.

524
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:50,919
Speaker 5: I was like, wow, that makes a lot of sense.

525
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 5: And also I don't know.

526
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 6: Why no one has really discussed it like so much.

527
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,119
Speaker 6: So where like I've read, I read a story about

528
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 6: someone like in labor and then maybe like the midwife

529
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:06,920
Speaker 6: had a conversation with her about like some sexual trauma experienced.

530
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, and during labor like literally like she closed

531
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,920
Speaker 6: back up and read and dilated smaller.

532
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, because I came up for her and she

533
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 5: literally had to release that energy for her to birth

534
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 5: her child. Like the energy we hold in our womb

535
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 5: is so real and so.

536
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 4: So powerful, powerful, so powerful.

537
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 6: I don't think women really recognize how much that correlates

538
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 6: with labor and birds.

539
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:33,400
Speaker 4: Oh it's so significant. So interestingly enough, something you said,

540
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 4: I kind of want to take you back to, so

541
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,359
Speaker 4: you know how you said, like, oh, I can totally

542
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,880
Speaker 4: see myself being a dulo one day. That's because innately

543
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,639
Speaker 4: you are. So I want you guys to go on

544
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 4: a quick little journey with me for a second. Okay,

545
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:48,120
Speaker 4: So let's pretend it's two hundred years ago and I'm

546
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:50,439
Speaker 4: going into labor right now, right and we all are

547
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 4: in a tribe and we live in the same community,

548
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 4: the same village. I would not be afraid. I'd have

549
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:59,119
Speaker 4: zero fears in my head from television, movies and society

550
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:02,920
Speaker 4: to have baby because I was at Jamila's birth last

551
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 4: year and I supported her through that and the rest

552
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 4: of the women came together and saw it, and I

553
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 4: wasn't worried about what she was going to do afterwards,

554
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,119
Speaker 4: because I knew she could breastfeed, and if she was

555
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 4: actually one of the less than two percent of women

556
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 4: who cannot breastfeed, there would be another woman there to

557
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 4: nurse her child, and her older children children and her

558
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 4: spouse would be taken care of and be fed, and

559
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 4: would be fine, because your only job after you have

560
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 4: that baby is to lay there naked for days, weeks

561
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 4: since some cultures months, nurse your baby skin to skin,

562
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:39,439
Speaker 4: rest and recover. It's a healing process, not only as

563
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 4: a baby being born, but so is a mother.

564
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:42,160
Speaker 3: Right.

565
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 4: We don't honor this process. It's not normalized. Birth isn't

566
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 4: a normal thing. It's I think we've made very medical right.

567
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 4: So our mind around is completely asked backwards. And the

568
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 4: reason why you said you can see yourself doing that

569
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:58,719
Speaker 4: is because whether it's you in a past life or

570
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:02,680
Speaker 4: it's what's been passed down generationally through yourselves, is that's

571
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,479
Speaker 4: what we did as women. We honored each other, we

572
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:09,160
Speaker 4: supported each other. We've seen birth since we were children.

573
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,880
Speaker 4: It cracks me up. There was this post on Instagram

574
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 4: the other day, and it might even have been one

575
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 4: of my midwife friends, and she had children in the

576
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 4: room and the mom was birthing her baby and people

577
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,679
Speaker 4: are like, oh, they're going to traumatize that kid, and

578
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 4: I'm like, no, no, no, no, hold on. Especially the boys

579
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,159
Speaker 4: in that room are going to be the best husbands

580
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,919
Speaker 4: and the best support systems because birth is not going

581
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:32,639
Speaker 4: to be weird to them, and they are going to

582
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 4: believe so much in their partner when she goes to

583
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,880
Speaker 4: have their child, there will be zero fear.

584
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:41,119
Speaker 3: And also they're going to see what women women like,

585
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,120
Speaker 3: what miracles we are, yes, like.

586
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 4: Wow, power women are. And here's the thing. There's no

587
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 4: such thing as love and hate. There's love and fear.

588
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 4: Fear is the opposite of love. Right, And when you

589
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 4: think about men that don't support women, it's not because

590
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,879
Speaker 4: they hate them. It's because they're in fear. They're in

591
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 4: fear of their power, they're in fear of losing them,

592
00:27:59,440 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 4: fear of all them.

593
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,639
Speaker 5: Yeah, I forgot.

594
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, Oh, we were talking about trauma.

595
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:10,919
Speaker 4: Trauma of trauma. So birth is ninety percent psychology. Oh right,

596
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 4: and trauma comes up in birth every single time.

597
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 5: Oh, he said to ninety percent, Like in your.

598
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:16,879
Speaker 4: Psychology ninety percent.

599
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 5: I would say that I think there's a point.

600
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 6: I don't know if you agree, Erica, there's a point

601
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:24,119
Speaker 6: in laboring where like I realized, I'm like, okay, I

602
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 6: have to go inside myself.

603
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 5: Like yeah, sister, yes, I literally took his space.

604
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 3: I had this.

605
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 6: I didn't have a duel. I wanted to do it

606
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 6: because it's same. I didn't have money. I didn't have

607
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 6: fifty five hundred dollars. I call my friend's mama, was like,

608
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 6: you think your mom will come out here because she's

609
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 6: like been a couple of births and do an unassistant childbirth,

610
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 6: and I it's sassed about it. Like even before I

611
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 6: got pretty, I was really into watching home births and

612
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 6: then I show Luna too, So I really I don't

613
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,479
Speaker 6: I think it's good to normalize it. I think some

614
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 6: of my friends may think it's a little weird.

615
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 3: Well, her daughter sits and watches like two hours worth

616
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 3: of birthing videos and then I walk in and on

617
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 3: my my floor walks in. You could close the door,

618
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,959
Speaker 3: and they're pretending to have babies in her room, and

619
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,080
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm not really sure if I want my

620
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 3: four year old pretendingly she's having a baby. I put

621
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 3: back on the birthday video. It's like they watched birthing

622
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 3: video actually, and I.

623
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 6: Actually heard a really like disturbing story and I just

624
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 6: got scared. So I just but I also like we

625
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 6: watched birthing of animals, but the same I wanted it

626
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 6: to be normalized. I don't want it to be fearful,

627
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 6: Like my first introduction to birth was like scary, like

628
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 6: in a hospital setting, and that's how I knew I

629
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:28,720
Speaker 6: didn't want to do that.

630
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 5: But as women, and this is.

631
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 6: What our bodies do, I think it's there's no early

632
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 6: or late age to discuss it. There's nothing, there's nothing

633
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 6: inappropriate or strange. I mean, obviously it can be traumatic.

634
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 6: But that's why I like to show a range of births,

635
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 6: because sometimes they're really quiet, sometimes they're really like there's

636
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 6: all types of birth, so.

637
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 4: I think that's important.

638
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 6: But we had another guest, like we had another guest

639
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 6: a while ago, jess Jessica Hooper, and she was saying

640
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 6: that she was really scared of miscarrying. She kept like

641
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 6: obsessing over it to the point where her midwife is like,

642
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 6: why do you feel like you don't deserve your baby?

643
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 5: And I was like, Wow, I never heard anything like this.

644
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 6: And she was saying how she felt like her sexual

645
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 6: history because maybe she'd, like whatever, had sex with guys

646
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 6: with unattached situation. She felt like she didn't deserve like

647
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 6: her husband and her baby, and that it was really psyched,

648
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 6: like fucking with her psyche making her feel like something

649
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 6: was gonna happen to her.

650
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, totally.

651
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 6: And I like, there's so many things that play into like,

652
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 6: as you as a doula, have have you experienced any

653
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 6: like trauma with women that have like affected their labor

654
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 6: or their pregnancy.

655
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 1: Yeah.

656
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, So it's actually the first thing that I address,

657
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 4: and it's my approach, and it's very different. And you know,

658
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 4: I don't preface this by saying that dula's are God's

659
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 4: gift to birth in today's society. I am a duel.

660
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 4: I have nothing but good things to say about dula's.

661
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 4: But even the best DULAS certification training programs out there

662
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 4: today don't necessarily teach about this. They do teach about

663
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 4: dealing with loss or with sexual trauma to a certain degree,

664
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 4: which is fantastic and it's something that needs to be addressed.

665
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 4: But what I found is a lot of the typical typicals,

666
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 4: not even the word traditional duelist support today is how

667
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 4: do I support a woman in a hospital to make

668
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 4: the best choices that are right for her body. What

669
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 4: are her alternatives, what are her options? How can I

670
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 4: manage her labor and pain. That's really the broad spectrum

671
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 4: of it, and what I found within for the first

672
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 4: few years is it's all psychology and it's all the

673
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 4: inner game. And so most of the work that I

674
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 4: do with my clients is before the birth, not during,

675
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 4: and it's a lot of visualization and meditation, like a

676
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,720
Speaker 4: lot of fear and burning release lists, like getting the

677
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 4: shit out of your head and figuring out what it

678
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 4: is you need to heal, because if you haven't, I

679
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 4: promise you, sister, it's coming up when you're in labor

680
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 4: and it causes issues every time. So sometimes it give

681
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 4: me sexual trauma or abuse. Sometimes it's just mommy or

682
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 4: daddy issues. Sometimes it's issues with their spouse or partner.

683
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 4: That's I was gonna say, it's a big one. The

684
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 4: number one thing I prescribe leading up to birth is

685
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 4: lots of sex. And you guys need to get in

686
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 4: a good routine now, So what is your self honoring

687
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 4: date night that you have every single week no matter what.

688
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 4: He doesn't schedule work or anything. You don't schedule anything.

689
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 4: This is your time just to connect, child free, whether

690
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 4: you have other children or you don't. Because here's the

691
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 4: thing is, we do this as women, do we not?

692
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 4: We put the children first because that's a good thing

693
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 4: to do as a mom. Be self sacrificing for your children.

694
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 4: Then if there's anything left, that's gonna go to my manner,

695
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 4: my partner, right, and then there's nothing left for me,

696
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 4: And I'm just this empty vat of nothing that can't

697
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 4: pour into anyone. And it's completely fucking backwards. I can

698
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 4: say fuck on this thing right now. I'm like, it's

699
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 4: completely fucking backwards. It's completely fucking backwards. So what I

700
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 4: teach is, Okay, let's get in alignment with you. Let's

701
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 4: be super honoring to you, selfish but fucking honoring, right

702
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 4: so you can show up as the best partner in spouse,

703
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 4: which that should be. The second thing is nurturing your

704
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 4: relationship because children are master manipulators and they're master at

705
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 4: divide and conquer. So if they don't see a united front,

706
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 4: they are going to divide and conquer to get what

707
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 4: they want. Right you guys, even when you yes, even

708
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 4: when you're not on the same page and you do

709
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 4: not agree at all, those children need to think that

710
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 4: you have each other's back and you agree no matter what.

711
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 4: That's massive. That's huge. So I teach all of these things. Now,

712
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 4: tell me what this has to do with birth. I'm

713
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 4: teaching like how to have a healthy relationship, how to

714
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 4: have a good sexual and physical relationship, connecting with each other,

715
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 4: supporting each other, being in the right headspace before you

716
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 4: go in there to have a baby. That's huge. This

717
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 4: is big work we're doing, especially for first time parents,

718
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 4: right right, you know, I.

719
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 3: Just say, okay, all those things seem like, yes, we

720
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 3: need all those things. But you meet people at certain

721
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 3: points in their life and their journey and their relationship,

722
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 3: and sometimes like I just feel like it not all

723
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 3: those They're not going to hit all those marks. No, No,

724
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 3: nine nine times out of ten, nine times at a

725
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 3: time they are they're they're not happy in their relationship

726
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 3: even though they're having a baby. Maybe they're having a

727
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,320
Speaker 3: baby to fix the relationship, or they just got pregnant

728
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 3: or whatever. Or for me personally, when I got pregnant,

729
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 3: like it was a distraction from our relationship and suddenly

730
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 3: we had something to come together on. And then once

731
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 3: the baby was here, we realized, oh shit, we haven't

732
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 3: worked on anything and we're.

733
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:31,279
Speaker 4: Two different people.

734
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 3: Are fucked.

735
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:33,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know.

736
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:39,359
Speaker 3: That is a lot of parents, and like, so I think,

737
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 3: like how so, I mean, I guess you just do

738
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,880
Speaker 3: what you can and try to encourage it. And also

739
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 3: men talking to men about all those points. M M.

740
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 3: I mean if I think about like my baby daddy,

741
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 3: if like you were my doula and he was saying

742
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 3: all these things to him, he would have been like,

743
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 3: fuck this.

744
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 4: But see, it doesn't it doesn't all come out like that.

745
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:57,360
Speaker 4: So I'm giving you guys, like the breakdown.

746
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,239
Speaker 3: It's like easy, like it's like you probably ease into it.

747
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 3: I'm just thinking about like the people that you know

748
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,799
Speaker 3: are having are pregnant now listening to this and are like,

749
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 3: oh my god, I have so much work to do.

750
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,000
Speaker 6: Oh my god, But I'm so happy because so many

751
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 6: people don't even know they need to know, they know

752
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 6: they have to.

753
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 3: I wish that like for me, like my birth story

754
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 3: was that I didn't want to have and I saw

755
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 3: the business of being born. It definitely encouraged me to

756
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 3: have a home birth. My partner was not supportive, my

757
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 3: doctors were not supportive. I didn't have any point of reference.

758
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 3: None of my friends have kids. I was just on

759
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 3: this journey by myself. My parents definitely were like, wait,

760
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 3: you want to have a baby where I know? Yeah,

761
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 3: So I just was like, fuck it, I'm going to

762
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:39,800
Speaker 3: just do it at the hospital. I have great insurance.

763
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 3: It's going to cover ninety percent of my birth.

764
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,719
Speaker 4: Which your story, by the way, is very similar to

765
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 4: most women's.

766
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 3: Just you know, I even had a doula come and

767
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 3: talk to us, and my partner at the time was

768
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 3: just like, well, why are if there's an emergency, we're

769
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 3: going to go to the hospital. Why don't we just

770
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 3: go to the hospital. Why are we doing this? Like

771
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 3: he was such an assholder. And then and what ended

772
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,800
Speaker 3: up happening was I ended up you know, my doctor

773
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 3: encouraged me to get induced because my baby was too big,

774
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:07,800
Speaker 3: getting bigger and bigger.

775
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, your massive large baby.

776
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 3: She was there, Yeah, it was. She was getting so big,

777
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 3: her head was huge. Well I had a sea section, no,

778
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 3: of course, but like I didn't want to have a

779
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 3: c section that was not in my birth plan. But

780
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 3: everything went wrong after the after getting induced.

781
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 4: Everything went wrong where you start.

782
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 3: So like you said, like, you know, there's this point

783
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,319
Speaker 3: of like where I was in labor and I went

784
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 3: within myself. It almost makes me sad because I didn't

785
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 3: do that. I didn't have to. I was under drugs.

786
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,280
Speaker 3: I didn't feel anything. The fact I was chilling.

787
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:47,280
Speaker 5: Why they they gave you drugs.

788
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:49,840
Speaker 3: I mean when I started induced. When I got induced,

789
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 3: my contractions were so intense. There was no build up.

790
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 3: It was just like level ten.

791
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, when they inter when they start intercepting with ship,

792
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:58,280
Speaker 6: it goes downhill.

793
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 3: It was no like oh yeah, I think it was like,

794
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,799
Speaker 3: oh my god. And so I was like, I need epidurals.

795
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 3: When I had the epidural and then I was in

796
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 3: labor for thirty hours under epidural, but I wasn't like laboring. Yeah,

797
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 3: So I'm like, I'm almost like, I like when she

798
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 3: said that, I was like, I wish I knew what

799
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 3: that felt like.

800
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:17,359
Speaker 4: I don't even know you're You're right. Everything you're saying

801
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 4: is right. And so many moms say that to me,

802
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:21,879
Speaker 4: especially my v back mamas, and they're like I feel

803
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,560
Speaker 4: like I was robbed of somebody totally. And I tell them,

804
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 4: to be honest, you were you were, You were robbed

805
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 4: of the experience that is, it's this beautiful journey. So

806
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 4: this is how I like to explain it. So everyone

807
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:35,960
Speaker 4: in today's society, men and women are like have an

808
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 4: issue of going outside themselves looking for answers. Right, We're

809
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 4: always looking for the answers outside of ourselves. Never do

810
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 4: we think to go inward. We weren't taught to do that.

811
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:45,720
Speaker 4: So when you're in labor, you go through this journey

812
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 4: of like, somebody's gonna save me. Somebody's gonna save me.

813
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 4: It's my partner, it's my spouse, it's the doula, it's

814
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 4: the doctor, it's the midwife, the nurse. Somebody's gonna fix this.

815
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 4: Somebody's gonna save me. The white horse is coming in.

816
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 4: And all of my moms, that every single one of

817
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 4: them that have achieved a completely natural birth, finally get

818
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 4: to a point in their labor where they look at

819
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 4: me and they want to give up, and they ask me,

820
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 4: how much longer is this going to fucking do? And

821
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:12,319
Speaker 4: my answer is always the same, it's up to you.

822
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 4: And there was one specific one where I remember we

823
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 4: were sitting at her bathroom together. I spent a lot

824
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:20,719
Speaker 4: of time in the bathroom with women a lot. Yeah, well,

825
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,120
Speaker 4: it's it's a normal place for you to open up

826
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 4: and feel privacy, and so it's a very safe space

827
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 4: for most women. So we're in the bathroom and she

828
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 4: looks at me and she's like, I'm just how much

829
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 4: fucking longer is this going to take? And I said

830
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 4: it's up to you. And I remember looking at her

831
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 4: and within seconds something shifted and she got serious and

832
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 4: she's like, Okay, let's do this. She didn't say that,

833
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 4: but you could tell that was her energy and I

834
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,680
Speaker 4: could see this, this wave of energy move through her

835
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 4: and I'm like, oh shit, things are gonna start progressing.

836
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 4: So I ran and grab a talent through it underneath her.

837
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 4: As soon as she shifted positions, tons of bloody show,

838
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 4: which indicates cervical change, and within thirty minutes we had

839
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 4: to leave for the hospital. First time. Mom shouldn't have

840
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 4: it should's taken her way longer than from the point

841
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 4: that she shifted at and within a few hours the

842
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:09,320
Speaker 4: baby was born. And it was the internal shift that happens.

843
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 4: So the thing that we're talking about that I feel

844
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 4: women get robbed of and it makes me sad, it

845
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:18,840
Speaker 4: makes me hurt for you, it does because that is

846
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 4: your right of passage. Because what happens in that shift

847
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 4: is you realize nobody's coming to fucking save me. There's

848
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 4: no white horse. There's no white horse. And you go

849
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 4: inward and your body takes over, and suddenly your contractions

850
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 4: are far more intense, they're closer together, your whole labor

851
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 4: is more intense, but you're handling it completely differently. It's

852
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 4: almost like a meditative state, and it's something beautiful to watch.

853
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 4: And some women, my sister in law's a great example.

854
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 4: This is the girl who goes into the hospital when

855
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:49,760
Speaker 4: she's contracting and says, I'm ready to have my baby,

856
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:52,280
Speaker 4: and they say, oh no, you're only two centimeters dilated,

857
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 4: contractions are too far apart. She's like, give me thirty minutes.

858
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 4: She goes and does two hundred squats. She comes back

859
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 4: in and she's like, give me my upidor and my

860
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,919
Speaker 4: potosa now, and she pushes her baby out five hours later.

861
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,919
Speaker 4: She's a freak of nature. She loves to have these

862
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 4: medicated births to control the whole situation. That makes her

863
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 4: happy and that's empowering to her. But for a lot

864
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 4: of women, they don't want that. They want the process,

865
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 4: even if they go through it and decide they hated it,

866
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 4: they wanted the opportunity to Yeah, So it's kind of

867
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,359
Speaker 4: My stance is like, I don't give a shit how

868
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,800
Speaker 4: you give birth. You should give birth, how you feel

869
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 4: safe and empowered, and how you want to give birth.

870
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 4: There is zero judgment. I wanted the few duelers who

871
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 4: believes in epidurals you should do it how you feel best. However,

872
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,400
Speaker 4: I don't think that anyone should take that choice from you,

873
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:40,240
Speaker 4: and that happens. It happens to a lot of people.

874
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:42,840
Speaker 3: And so it's so funny that you said that you

875
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 3: specialize in feedback because after my C section, and that's

876
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 3: how I knew my doctor, I was bultless some bullshit

877
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 3: and she's like this, and I didn't realize at the

878
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:53,799
Speaker 3: time she's like a celebrity doctor. I had no idea. Like,

879
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 3: my friend worked at theater Sina. She even going to

880
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 3: her forginocology. She told me she was great. I hadn't

881
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 3: even told my mom I was pregnant yet and she

882
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 3: was like, you have to go see at this doctor,

883
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 3: and so I just started to go see her and

884
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:06,719
Speaker 3: then I just went on this journey with her. Now

885
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:08,880
Speaker 3: she doesn't even take insurance, like people are paying her

886
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 3: full price to deliver their babies. I think Chloe Kardashian.

887
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 3: Actually she delivered Chloe Kardashian's.

888
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 4: Baby, but most of those women don't.

889
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 3: On the Kardashians, I was like, this bitch, I was

890
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 3: not her. I was like embarrassed, Okay, thee who my

891
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:25,279
Speaker 3: baby is on the FUS? What kind of function is this?

892
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:28,799
Speaker 3: But after I had the baby, she.

893
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:31,399
Speaker 4: I came.

894
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 3: I would come for checkups and she was like, yeah,

895
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:35,279
Speaker 3: you know, when you have your next baby, it would

896
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 3: be so easy. We'll just I'll lease, like I can

897
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 3: just fix that scar. And I was like, wait, so

898
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 3: you're already telling me I'm going to have another C

899
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 3: section and she's like, well, yeah, that's that's the best option.

900
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 3: I'm like for you, because you get paid, you get

901
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 3: to leave when the fuck you want to leave, like

902
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,440
Speaker 3: I didn't. I like, I had watched so many birthing

903
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 3: videos because even though I decided to have the birth

904
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:55,560
Speaker 3: at the hospital, I still was like I want to

905
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,280
Speaker 3: have it the most natural way. I want the baby.

906
00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 3: I want my baby to call up to me, yea.

907
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 4: To crawl up to Yeah, yeah, the breast crawl.

908
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 3: She like took the baby away. I just like I

909
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 3: was on the table half dead and then they put

910
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 3: the baby on my face. But the like then I

911
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 3: started researching feedbacks and like, can you explain to our

912
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 3: listeners have a lot, of course, a lot of women

913
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 3: that have had these sections that feel like their only

914
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 3: option is to have another one, or they're scared, or

915
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 3: for me, my doctor said, like a vback, it is

916
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 3: not a good idea.

917
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 4: Right, it's fair, Okay, So a lot of fear. So

918
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 4: here's the thing. This is called fear mongering, and unfortunately

919
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 4: everyone's responsible for this. I see midwives do it. I

920
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 4: see nurses, doctors, juelas, I see everyone use fear mongering.

921
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:42,839
Speaker 4: So the example if you're mongering is saying something out

922
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,759
Speaker 4: of fear to get you to see their side. So

923
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 4: I can come on here and tell you how amazing

924
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 4: the option of natural birth is, or I can tell

925
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 4: you how awful the alternative of a hospital birth is.

926
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 4: They're both mean the same thing, but which one's more effective?

927
00:42:57,239 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 4: Me telling you how amazing something could be for you

928
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,279
Speaker 4: or me sing the shit out of you into doing

929
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 4: something that I don't think you should do that you

930
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 4: think is amazing.

931
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're actually helping exactly.

932
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 4: So what doctors do. The most common term I hear

933
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 4: with youback is your risk of a uterine rupture doubles

934
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 4: when you have a vwback. Well, the percentage we're doubling

935
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 4: from here is like point zero zero two percent to

936
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:25,040
Speaker 4: point zero zero four percent, so we're still talking less

937
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,840
Speaker 4: than a one percent chance of a uterine rupture. The

938
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:30,399
Speaker 4: other things that play a huge role is it used

939
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:32,319
Speaker 4: to be the type of incision, it used to be

940
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 4: the way the cesarean was performed. We don't perform those

941
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 4: type of cesaians anymore. So unless you had one fifteen

942
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 4: twenty years ago, that's not a concern either. You're at

943
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 4: the same risk virtually for a uterine rupture, so we

944
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,319
Speaker 4: take the same precautions we would as we normally do. Right,

945
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:54,000
Speaker 4: So basically this is the only in my opinion, there's

946
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,719
Speaker 4: only two things I see as a risk factor when

947
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 4: it comes to be back. The first one is and

948
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 4: it's funny because you have different hospitals, say different things.

949
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 4: Cedars is actually really great at feedback. A lot of

950
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 4: my feedbacks are there, and there's other fantastic doctors there,

951
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:08,360
Speaker 4: just you know that I work with all the time.

952
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:12,839
Speaker 4: But there's another awful hospital that I can't legally say

953
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 4: the name of it. I can't because I can get

954
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:20,840
Speaker 4: like black belt from the hospital. So there's this terrible hospital.

955
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:27,359
Speaker 4: It's awful, and they they require that you get into

956
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:29,360
Speaker 4: if you're going to fedback because they need to control

957
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:32,400
Speaker 4: the situation because it's all fear, right, they require that

958
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 4: you go in, you get induced, and you have an

959
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:37,880
Speaker 4: epidural and they're monitoring you every second of your labor.

960
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 4: If you're going to even attempt a feedback, they're called

961
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 4: a tolac. It's a trial of labor. Okay, trial yeah, yeah.

962
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:50,040
Speaker 3: So that's super fear like a trial, like, oh, let

963
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 3: me let me try and maybe not kill my baby.

964
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 4: You're not super capable of this, but we'll try me.

965
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 3: You can try. I mean, if you want to risk

966
00:44:58,600 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 3: your baby's life.

967
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 4: No, totally, it's fucking bullshit, right. So the alternative to

968
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 4: that is I recommend you actually don't have any interventions

969
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,360
Speaker 4: if you're going to be back because picture a uterus

970
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,920
Speaker 4: like this. Okay, so for our listeners, you can picture

971
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:13,799
Speaker 4: like a big balloon in your hand and you've got

972
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,359
Speaker 4: both hands on either side of the balloon that's blown

973
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 4: up and when you squeeze it, that's like your uterus. Right,

974
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:21,320
Speaker 4: So your contractions come like this, and they give you

975
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 4: a break, and contractions come like this, and then there's

976
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:27,840
Speaker 4: another break in between contractions. Well with the potosin a

977
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 4: lot of times you go from zero to one hundred.

978
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:33,240
Speaker 4: It's like this, right, And most of the time people

979
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 4: don't understand what drugs are being used for induction. So

980
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:40,920
Speaker 4: there's something called mesoprossel or servadel. So basically what that

981
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 4: stuff is made of is pig and bolsperm. That's what

982
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 4: it's made of. Animal hormones, yes, basically, so, Yes, it's

983
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 4: inserted vaginally and it's reality, it's very much so. But

984
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 4: think about think about the uterus for think about the

985
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 4: uterus for a cow. It's probably the size of you

986
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:04,919
Speaker 4: that has a cabinet, right, So we're contracting a very

987
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:07,799
Speaker 4: there's a lot of there's a lot going on here, right.

988
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:11,200
Speaker 6: Putting it in a human cervix that isn't really right.

989
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 4: It we're really. I mean, it's it's dangerous. So when

990
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 4: you have a uterist that's just like not it's when

991
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 4: you introduce interventions, that's when there's side effects. That's when

992
00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:23,959
Speaker 4: shit goes back. So I highly recommend for my moms

993
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,800
Speaker 4: who do want to have a trial of labor attempt

994
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 4: to view back, to go as natural as humanly possible, okay,

995
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:34,600
Speaker 4: and to not have any interventions that are medically unnecessary.

996
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:36,920
Speaker 4: And you can do a v back at home, yes,

997
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 4: absolutely So it depends on the state that you're in,

998
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 4: because I'm assuming some of the listeners are, you know,

999
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 4: not in California. In California, you can have a you

1000
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,360
Speaker 4: can have a view back. The thing is, you just

1001
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,799
Speaker 4: have to be a good candidate for out of hospital birth,

1002
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 4: so you can't have like be high risk or have

1003
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,279
Speaker 4: a history of certain things that could cause that to

1004
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 4: happen again. But feedback is perfectly done safe at home.

1005
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 6: I had preclamsy it I can't. I might at high

1006
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 6: risk next time.

1007
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 4: Automatically, No, not automatically.

1008
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:09,480
Speaker 3: It's so funny because v back, Like when I first

1009
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 3: heard that term, I literally felt like maybe like my

1010
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:15,960
Speaker 3: uterus didn't work the right way anymore, Like that because

1011
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:19,359
Speaker 3: they I was cut open, that now I had scar

1012
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 3: tissue and that had something to do with the reason why,

1013
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:23,279
Speaker 3: because they didn't explain it. It was just like, no,

1014
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 3: you can't do it, so just don't even think about it.

1015
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 3: This is this is your option. And so I just like,

1016
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 3: so that's another reason why I think I was like,

1017
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:31,879
Speaker 3: I'm never having another kid again.

1018
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:35,040
Speaker 4: It traumatizes you. And I hear just so.

1019
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:37,879
Speaker 3: Many women are still have the beliefs that I had.

1020
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,319
Speaker 3: I mean, thank God, like you know, I've been able

1021
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:43,120
Speaker 3: to I've taken it upon myself to do more research.

1022
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 3: But like I really was like, oh, I'm like, my

1023
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,960
Speaker 3: uterus is broken. I can't. I fucked it up and

1024
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:49,760
Speaker 3: this is my only way of giving.

1025
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:53,000
Speaker 4: Somebody told you that you were inadequate pretty much, and

1026
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 4: it's bullshit. It's bullshit.

1027
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:57,359
Speaker 6: I think that's why it's so important to do your

1028
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 6: research when you become frigent. I think actually in like

1029
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 6: communities for like black and brown women, like it's not

1030
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 6: I just think it's just not a culture that's really

1031
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:07,240
Speaker 6: explored period.

1032
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:09,440
Speaker 5: Like you get what you just think you're going to

1033
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 5: the hospital.

1034
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,320
Speaker 6: It's gonna hurt, it's going to be intense, it's scary,

1035
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 6: and then you give birth. So I think it's like

1036
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:16,960
Speaker 6: even to have a birth plan like I like to

1037
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 6: have if I had a doula, I had a very intense,

1038
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:22,120
Speaker 6: like you know, you you don't want drugs, you don't

1039
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:23,799
Speaker 6: want this, and then you're just drugged up, you don't

1040
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 6: know what the fuck is happening, and they're not explaining

1041
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 6: shit to there's fear, like but even I had a

1042
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 6: very descriptive, very researched, well three page like birth plan,

1043
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 6: but because I didn't have a doula, and I end

1044
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 6: up going to the hospital, like no one was.

1045
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 3: There to make sure.

1046
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:42,359
Speaker 6: Yeah, like they went against what the fuck I wrote down,

1047
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 6: and then later like I guess they realized it and

1048
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,799
Speaker 6: then had like make copies so as people were coming on.

1049
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:48,839
Speaker 5: Because that's actually really like a legal thing.

1050
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 6: I've documented specifically what I don't want you to do,

1051
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 6: and you've done it anyway.

1052
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 5: So I think it's so important.

1053
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 6: To do your research even if you can't, okay, I

1054
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 6: can't afford a duel or can't afford a midwife, to

1055
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 6: still have some like some direction of where you want

1056
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 6: to go, because a lot of doctors expect you to

1057
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:06,440
Speaker 6: not be in performed.

1058
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 5: And that's and that's.

1059
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:10,759
Speaker 6: How they can really use fear because if you don't know, Ship,

1060
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,600
Speaker 6: and you's like, you don't know they're saying fifty, you

1061
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:15,800
Speaker 6: know your your chance doubles. You don't know what's fucking

1062
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:17,719
Speaker 6: from two point point two zero's.

1063
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 3: Doctor told me that that do you know how many?

1064
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 3: When I told I want to have homeber, she do

1065
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:27,520
Speaker 3: you know how many home birth still born babies I've delivered?

1066
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 5: Like?

1067
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,360
Speaker 4: She totally she said that.

1068
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,399
Speaker 3: She said, do you really want to risk your first child?

1069
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 3: Why don't you just have your first child at the hospital,

1070
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 3: see how that goes. You want to have another one,

1071
00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:41,879
Speaker 3: you can, you'll, you'll, you'll know how the process works.

1072
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:43,239
Speaker 5: I would have been like, well, how many? I want

1073
00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:45,040
Speaker 5: to know specifically? How many have you?

1074
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 3: Wasn't that aggressive?

1075
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 6: I know I was such an aggressive patient. That's why

1076
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:51,240
Speaker 6: me and my my un are friends.

1077
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:51,359
Speaker 3: Now.

1078
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, I was talking, mad Ship, I was, I need

1079
00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 6: you to be more specific about the numbers.

1080
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 1: I feel like.

1081
00:49:55,719 --> 00:49:56,839
Speaker 6: I was like, I feel like you paid a lot

1082
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:59,479
Speaker 6: of money for medical school and now you feel entire

1083
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 6: like you feel you have to tell me these things.

1084
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:05,319
Speaker 6: But let's be honest. This is bullshit. Anyway, we have

1085
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:09,319
Speaker 6: some listeners who had some questions for duelas okay, and

1086
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,879
Speaker 6: she wants to know what are there? Well, you think

1087
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 6: you've covered the benefits of being a doula.

1088
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 5: The cost? What is your costs? Generally?

1089
00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:20,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, so everywhere is different. So I live in a city,

1090
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 4: a town called Santa Clarita, which is a suburb of

1091
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:28,960
Speaker 4: La Right, So dula's with similar credentials and similar training

1092
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 4: and similar experience to me that live like in the

1093
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:34,160
Speaker 4: heart of La they charge twenty twenty five hundred, three

1094
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 4: thousand or more sometimes, especially if they're like celebrity or

1095
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:40,800
Speaker 4: high Adula is very very pricey. This little family suburb

1096
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 4: town I live in a lot of those moms can't

1097
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 4: afford that as much. So it depends. I have different packages.

1098
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:50,320
Speaker 4: But my services they go anywhere from like the fourteen

1099
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:52,919
Speaker 4: hundred to the seventeen hundred price range.

1100
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 3: And are you with them from the beginning of whatever

1101
00:50:55,600 --> 00:51:00,359
Speaker 3: they hire and after care to or how does so?

1102
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 4: I tell all of my clients hire me as soon

1103
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 4: as you humanly possibly can. Even though I am a

1104
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:09,360
Speaker 4: birth doula. My special right, like we talked about, like,

1105
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:11,480
Speaker 4: my approach is a lot of that inner game, right,

1106
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 4: we need more time together In the beginning, I have

1107
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:15,480
Speaker 4: books I want you to read. I have homework. I

1108
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:18,200
Speaker 4: want you doing right. So I hire me as soon

1109
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 4: as you can. From the moment they hire me, they

1110
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:23,520
Speaker 4: have complete access to me. When they go into labor,

1111
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:25,319
Speaker 4: I meet them at their birth and I stay with

1112
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:28,640
Speaker 4: them until about an hour afterwards, make sure that their breastfeeding,

1113
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 4: while their skins to skin the placenta is delivered. Well,

1114
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:34,239
Speaker 4: they're healthy, they feel good. Then I kick everyone out

1115
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 4: because it's time for them to bond as a family.

1116
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:39,279
Speaker 4: You probably remember that with Alana's birth. After so long,

1117
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, there's twenty people learn everybody needs

1118
00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:44,760
Speaker 4: to go right because it's time for them to bond.

1119
00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 4: Then I do a postpartum visit to make sure that

1120
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:50,960
Speaker 4: everyone is doing well and nursing well and she's not struggling,

1121
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 4: everyone sleeping and eating things like that. But she still

1122
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 4: has access to me. So she needs to send me

1123
00:51:56,960 --> 00:52:00,560
Speaker 4: a text message or needs resources, or is having trouble

1124
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:03,360
Speaker 4: with an issue, or wants to shoot me an email

1125
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:05,360
Speaker 4: or call me, she still has access to me.

1126
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 3: Okay, what about how do you and the midwife collaborate,

1127
00:52:09,719 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 3: like do you oftentimes are you usually like does a

1128
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:17,160
Speaker 3: midwife oftentimes suggest you to her client or do sometimes

1129
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:19,680
Speaker 3: it's totally separate, like you don't even know this midwife. Yeah,

1130
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:21,759
Speaker 3: and you guys, but do you guys have communication together?

1131
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,279
Speaker 3: It is important that you guys have like a relationship

1132
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:26,359
Speaker 3: or like, you know, some sort of planned.

1133
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 4: To Yeah, totally. So it kind of varies. So I

1134
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:31,880
Speaker 4: work a lot off of word of mouth, so I

1135
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:36,000
Speaker 4: have fabulous marketing and I can get people finding me

1136
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:38,040
Speaker 4: online all day long. But I found that those are

1137
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:41,160
Speaker 4: actually my least favorite births. I found that my favorite

1138
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,759
Speaker 4: births have been through somebody who recommended them because we

1139
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:46,880
Speaker 4: like attracts like and we're similar minded, so there's a

1140
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:50,280
Speaker 4: really good connection in bond there. So my clients, wherever

1141
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 4: they're delivering, I go to them. So if they're delivering

1142
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 4: at hospital, we go to the hospital. If they're delivering

1143
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 4: it with a midwife, I go to them. So I'm

1144
00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 4: completely separate from their care provider. But there is a

1145
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 4: lot oftors and midwives who do recommend my services because

1146
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 4: they see the difference in their patients when they show up.

1147
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 4: There's you know, two or three midwives here in LA

1148
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 4: that I work really closely with that are always referring

1149
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:13,800
Speaker 4: to me and they're fabulous, And a lot of doctors

1150
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:16,040
Speaker 4: that theaters even pass out my cards to their patients.

1151
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:17,400
Speaker 4: They're like, Hey, you want to be back, you want

1152
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:19,440
Speaker 4: a natural birth, you need to call this chick.

1153
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,279
Speaker 3: Do you find that if you because you might not

1154
00:53:22,360 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 3: have interaction with a midwife thear for doing a home

1155
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 3: birth or whatever, that is there like some sort of

1156
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:31,400
Speaker 3: hierarchy between midwife and dula. Is there some sort of

1157
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:35,240
Speaker 3: like spoken like not all the time? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

1158
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 3: I know, but like I just feel like I don't know,

1159
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:41,239
Speaker 3: like you're walking into a situation where you maybe never

1160
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:44,600
Speaker 3: met the midwife. The midwife has been supporting the woman

1161
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:46,920
Speaker 3: this time, and then here comes someone else to support

1162
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 3: and they're like, it can be weird.

1163
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:51,840
Speaker 4: No, it totally can. Know it totally who you're meeting.

1164
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 3: You guys need to be on the same page. You know,

1165
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:56,680
Speaker 3: you don't know who you're wanting you too. And I

1166
00:53:56,719 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 3: think sometimes it becomes a little it becomes personal. You're

1167
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 3: you're assisting some through the birth and you almost get territorial.

1168
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 4: Of your yes, whatever. So newer dulas that I'll mentors

1169
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 4: sometimes I encourage them to not do that, because it's

1170
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:16,120
Speaker 4: really easy to get territorial. Right. So if I had

1171
00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 4: never met your doctor before, and your doctor is saying

1172
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:19,680
Speaker 4: things to you that are not quite true and not

1173
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:21,560
Speaker 4: quite accurate, Let's say I was at your last birth,

1174
00:54:21,719 --> 00:54:23,720
Speaker 4: I'd be a little pissed and I'd get a little territorial.

1175
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:25,839
Speaker 4: But that's where we really have to check ourselves as

1176
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:28,200
Speaker 4: dulas and be like, this is not my birth right.

1177
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:30,520
Speaker 4: I'm here to help her find her voice and what

1178
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 4: she wants to do, not to save her. And there's

1179
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 4: a lot of dulas that are still trying to save

1180
00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:37,360
Speaker 4: people are trying to relive their own birth story, So

1181
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:39,479
Speaker 4: we have to be careful with that. But it's also

1182
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 4: understanding the difference between the hat that adula wears and

1183
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:45,000
Speaker 4: a care provider. So I'm not here to make medical

1184
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:47,160
Speaker 4: decisions for you, right, I'm not here to give you

1185
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:51,720
Speaker 4: medical advice. I'm here to support you emotionally, physically, informationally,

1186
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 4: and give you the facts, right, the evidence based, unbiased

1187
00:54:56,239 --> 00:54:58,799
Speaker 4: information of what your real choices are, so you can

1188
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,879
Speaker 4: choose what's best for you. So when I'm approaching that way,

1189
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,440
Speaker 4: it's gonna go a lot better most of the time regardless,

1190
00:55:04,719 --> 00:55:07,360
Speaker 4: but it is true sometimes. I've worked with one midwife

1191
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:11,360
Speaker 4: one time, and she's a fantastic midwife, but she actually

1192
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:14,799
Speaker 4: recommends she tells people not to get du lists, and

1193
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:16,799
Speaker 4: it's her own personal shit she needs to work through

1194
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:19,960
Speaker 4: because she likes feeling like the safer. She loves that

1195
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,839
Speaker 4: feeling of id for this woman. And I did this

1196
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,959
Speaker 4: right totally. And my whole thing is like, I want

1197
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:29,080
Speaker 4: you to have such a beautiful birth. I want you

1198
00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:30,920
Speaker 4: to take my coaching so well. I want you to

1199
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 4: be so coachable and teachable, and I want to do

1200
00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:35,320
Speaker 4: such a good job that you felt like you didn't

1201
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:38,160
Speaker 4: even need me, and I was just there holding space

1202
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:39,600
Speaker 4: for you, a fly on the wall in case an

1203
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:42,880
Speaker 4: emergency happened. And that's ideally my favorite birth. Honestly.

1204
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:45,160
Speaker 5: The woman is empowered and.

1205
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:47,239
Speaker 4: When I've coached her well enough that she just rocks

1206
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:48,759
Speaker 4: her birth and I'm just there to support you.

1207
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:55,600
Speaker 3: Know that. Do you recommend that if you are going

1208
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:57,920
Speaker 3: to go, if you are having a home birth or

1209
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:01,440
Speaker 3: birth center birth whatever with a mid way that and

1210
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:04,879
Speaker 3: you also want a doula, that you connect the two together.

1211
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:06,759
Speaker 4: Like that you, Yeah, you can, but just don't be

1212
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:09,279
Speaker 4: too pushy with it. So I have had I had

1213
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 4: a childbirth educator, which I'm one myself, but I had

1214
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:16,040
Speaker 4: a childbirth educator once she teaches just a hypno birth

1215
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,239
Speaker 4: thing and she was like, oh, you need to do that.

1216
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:23,480
Speaker 4: Just does hypno birthing. And it's so basically there's many

1217
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:28,239
Speaker 4: different types of labor rightiet they're supposed to be kind

1218
00:56:28,239 --> 00:56:31,480
Speaker 4: of quiet because typically you have your headphones on and

1219
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 4: you're and you're listening to the affirmations and the things

1220
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:37,040
Speaker 4: that help you go inward and go to that meditative state.

1221
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:40,040
Speaker 4: It's basically how I would describe it in like pretty

1222
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:42,359
Speaker 4: simple terms. Even though there's lots of ways to do it.

1223
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:49,359
Speaker 6: I did this, and I really recommend researching, Like who

1224
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:51,239
Speaker 6: are you going to tap into? I think when I

1225
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 6: realized I was in the hospital and I was getting

1226
00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:54,239
Speaker 6: induced and I was like, okay, I started looking on

1227
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:57,160
Speaker 6: my phone and I end that moment, don'tload this app,

1228
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 6: and literally I don't know why no one fucking turned

1229
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:02,440
Speaker 6: it off, but for hours I'd done like an Australian

1230
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:03,360
Speaker 6: and she's like.

1231
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 5: You'll, baby is waiting to meet you.

1232
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:08,000
Speaker 3: All.

1233
00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:14,280
Speaker 8: Baby is calming down, y'all baby?

1234
00:57:14,920 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 3: Wait? Is that because I sent you that that expectful thing.

1235
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,480
Speaker 3: You're like, as long as their voice isn't fucking annoying.

1236
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:21,520
Speaker 3: It was like that meditated.

1237
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 5: I can't forget it. I don't know why I was

1238
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:27,439
Speaker 5: too I don't know. I was too hypnotized to turn

1239
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:28,200
Speaker 5: that bitch.

1240
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 6: Off, y'all baby, and not white to mate you that

1241
00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 6: is hlarious USh.

1242
00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:38,440
Speaker 5: Y'all baby down. Afterwards, everyone's making fun of me, like

1243
00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:39,080
Speaker 5: what the who.

1244
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:41,080
Speaker 4: Is this bitch? And you're like you let the bitch

1245
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 4: keep playing?

1246
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:44,160
Speaker 5: And then I had like I had, like girl, I

1247
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:45,640
Speaker 5: printed out affirmations.

1248
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:48,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, bring my affirmations from the table, like, let them

1249
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:49,920
Speaker 6: table on the wall.

1250
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:51,000
Speaker 1: I love the.

1251
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 6: Reading and listening and you'll, baby, my baby is coming

1252
00:57:58,760 --> 00:57:59,880
Speaker 6: suddenly you're Australian.

1253
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:05,320
Speaker 4: Oh my, that's hilarious, my baby.

1254
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 5: I'm sure the nurses were like, this bitch is crazy.

1255
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:10,080
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I love it.

1256
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:12,520
Speaker 6: Sometimes I trying to dance the baby down and like,

1257
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:13,680
Speaker 6: I've never seen this method.

1258
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 4: I was like, it's new, it is new, actually, oh

1259
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:22,000
Speaker 4: my god, oh my god, that's hilarious. You're okay, that

1260
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:23,120
Speaker 4: made my day?

1261
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:25,520
Speaker 5: Do your research and who you're gonna listen to for

1262
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:26,400
Speaker 5: eight hour streight.

1263
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:29,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, so that's I guess the point of a

1264
00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:31,520
Speaker 4: huge part of hypno birthing would be to do it

1265
00:58:31,600 --> 00:58:34,080
Speaker 4: prior to labor and be very familiar with it so

1266
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:35,920
Speaker 4: you know what you're doing when it happens and you

1267
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:40,640
Speaker 4: go into it. It's not some crazy Australian bitch. But

1268
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:44,480
Speaker 4: there's many different ways of you know, there's lamas, there's

1269
00:58:44,520 --> 00:58:47,160
Speaker 4: the Bradley method, there is hypno babies, there's hypno birthing,

1270
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:50,320
Speaker 4: there's birthing from within, which is one of my favorite things.

1271
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:53,080
Speaker 4: There's so many different ways you can spend this right

1272
00:58:53,640 --> 00:58:56,560
Speaker 4: And basically, to answer your question earlier, there was a

1273
00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:59,080
Speaker 4: childbirth educator who was like, she's not an adequate to

1274
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:01,480
Speaker 4: love for you because he's not certified in my course.

1275
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 4: She needs to come pay eight hundred dollars and be

1276
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:06,080
Speaker 4: my assistant and be in my course. It was such

1277
00:59:06,120 --> 00:59:08,240
Speaker 4: full shit. So I straight up called her up and

1278
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:12,840
Speaker 4: was like, so let's chat right. So it's hard, because yes,

1279
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 4: you want to connect them as much as you can.

1280
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:16,960
Speaker 4: But the reason why I called her is because I

1281
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:19,080
Speaker 4: made it very clear to my clients well before they

1282
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 4: took this course. Listen, I have done it all, I've

1283
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 4: learned about it all. The problem I have with just

1284
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:27,800
Speaker 4: doing hypno babies, and to any listeners out there that

1285
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:31,040
Speaker 4: had the most amazing experience with hypo babies, more power

1286
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:33,320
Speaker 4: to your sister. I'm not hating. I'm so happy. I'm

1287
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:36,680
Speaker 4: so happy for you. But not everyone has that experience.

1288
00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:37,040
Speaker 3: Right.

1289
00:59:37,320 --> 00:59:40,320
Speaker 4: Sometimes that doesn't work, or it's some crazy Australian biship

1290
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:43,200
Speaker 4: pisses you off. Right, it doesn't work all the time.

1291
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:46,720
Speaker 4: Sometimes what you need is very different. Sometimes you need silence,

1292
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:49,840
Speaker 4: some times you need visualization. Everyone's different. So I like

1293
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:52,560
Speaker 4: to pull out all of the tools and see what

1294
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:55,600
Speaker 4: works best for you in that moment and what you need.

1295
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:55,960
Speaker 3: Right.

1296
00:59:56,600 --> 00:59:59,240
Speaker 4: So they were very pushy about, like she wants you

1297
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:00,880
Speaker 4: to take her course. So I finally called her up

1298
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:02,600
Speaker 4: and I was like, listen, this is all my experience

1299
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:05,800
Speaker 4: I've had. I've read a lot in hypno birth, I've

1300
01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 4: done a lot, I've experienced a lot of hypno birth,

1301
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:10,600
Speaker 4: and I don't believe it's the only way. If my

1302
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:12,640
Speaker 4: clients want to go this route, that's awesome, but I

1303
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:15,400
Speaker 4: don't have time. I'm not coming to take your course.

1304
01:00:15,440 --> 01:00:17,760
Speaker 4: I flat out told her I was really and.

1305
01:00:17,760 --> 01:00:21,640
Speaker 6: I appreciate you suggesting a third party that I need

1306
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:23,080
Speaker 6: to take your goddamn course. Right.

1307
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:25,520
Speaker 4: It was really shitty the way she handled it, unfortunately,

1308
01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:27,120
Speaker 4: but it is what it is. Hopefully she's changed your

1309
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:28,160
Speaker 4: ways a little bit since then.

1310
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 3: To go off of that, as a duela, have you

1311
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:36,280
Speaker 3: ever had to pass like step away from an unexpected

1312
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:39,880
Speaker 3: mom because you guys were not vibing and like just

1313
01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:41,800
Speaker 3: because I know, it's just a sacred space that you

1314
01:00:41,840 --> 01:00:42,400
Speaker 3: hold together.

1315
01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:43,360
Speaker 4: It's so sacred.

1316
01:00:43,960 --> 01:00:48,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, So like, how does are you spicky about your client?

1317
01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:51,800
Speaker 4: I also interview my clients, okay, and I tell all

1318
01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:53,560
Speaker 4: of them. Alana will tell you this. I tell all

1319
01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 4: of them, Okay, you're going to go interview one or

1320
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:59,760
Speaker 4: two or maybe three other duelists, not ten or twelve,

1321
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:01,720
Speaker 4: because they're all gonna mess together and you're gonna forget him.

1322
01:01:01,720 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 4: I've had clients do that, just one or two and

1323
01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:06,160
Speaker 4: see of you vibe with and a lot of times

1324
01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 4: like oh no, but we love you. I'm like, just

1325
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:10,520
Speaker 4: go see because what if you loved somebody more. Two

1326
01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:13,360
Speaker 4: times in eight and a half years, I've had a

1327
01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:15,800
Speaker 4: mom come back and be like, oh, my God, I

1328
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:17,520
Speaker 4: feel like I'm breaking up with the love of my

1329
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:20,200
Speaker 4: life because I love you so much. But you were

1330
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:22,760
Speaker 4: right like this other person is like my soulmate. I'm like,

1331
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:25,360
Speaker 4: it's all good, sister like that, So you should be

1332
01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:28,520
Speaker 4: with like we're having a baby. This is serious stuff.

1333
01:01:29,040 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 4: So that's happened twice.

1334
01:01:31,240 --> 01:01:35,320
Speaker 6: That's how I am with my last clients. We're not

1335
01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:36,520
Speaker 6: gonna have this is not gonna work.

1336
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:40,240
Speaker 4: It's not working. So I have had that. I've had

1337
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:45,360
Speaker 4: two berths where one of them I literally had to

1338
01:01:45,440 --> 01:01:48,600
Speaker 4: kick her husband out of the room and he I

1339
01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:50,840
Speaker 4: still worry. She was on my mind yesterday when I

1340
01:01:50,840 --> 01:01:52,360
Speaker 4: was on a walk, and I haven't seen her in years.

1341
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:54,560
Speaker 4: I still worry about her to this day. He's not

1342
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:57,480
Speaker 4: a healthy man, and I fear for her and that

1343
01:01:57,560 --> 01:02:00,760
Speaker 4: whole family. He knew how and it was for her

1344
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:02,600
Speaker 4: to do everything natural, and as soon as he saw

1345
01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:04,320
Speaker 4: her in pain, he just started screaming at both of

1346
01:02:04,400 --> 01:02:06,880
Speaker 4: us as she needs to have a SA section. It

1347
01:02:06,920 --> 01:02:09,240
Speaker 4: was very traumatizing for her. I had to kick him out.

1348
01:02:09,360 --> 01:02:11,480
Speaker 4: Once he left, she was fine and he came back

1349
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:14,440
Speaker 4: way too soon. He's just very, very unhealthy man who

1350
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:15,520
Speaker 4: needs to do a lot of work.

1351
01:02:15,760 --> 01:02:15,920
Speaker 8: You know.

1352
01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:17,440
Speaker 4: It's not evil man, it's not about man. He just

1353
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:20,320
Speaker 4: needs a lot of help, you know. And then their

1354
01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:23,360
Speaker 4: second time around, she came back and she was like, hey,

1355
01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:27,000
Speaker 4: your prices have gone up significantly since our first birth

1356
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:28,480
Speaker 4: with you. And I was like, well, that's because I

1357
01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 4: was a newer Duela. I was only charging like, I

1358
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:32,720
Speaker 4: think a thousand bucks at the time, and I'd given

1359
01:02:32,760 --> 01:02:34,960
Speaker 4: them a discount and they'd gone up a lot. She's like,

1360
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:37,440
Speaker 4: they're almost double the price, which they weren't, and she

1361
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:39,400
Speaker 4: was trying to get me to come down really really low,

1362
01:02:39,440 --> 01:02:41,560
Speaker 4: and I was like, I physically can't. I have to

1363
01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:43,440
Speaker 4: run a business and I can only take so many

1364
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:46,760
Speaker 4: clients per month, right, I don't like your husband and

1365
01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:48,120
Speaker 4: I you know. And I went to one of my

1366
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:49,760
Speaker 4: mentors at the time and I'm like, I don't know

1367
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 4: what to do because I don't want to be at

1368
01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:53,880
Speaker 4: that berth. But I'm fearful for her if I'm not.

1369
01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:56,320
Speaker 4: I had to really think about it and for a

1370
01:02:56,360 --> 01:03:00,160
Speaker 4: long time for her. Yes, yes, And I had in

1371
01:03:00,200 --> 01:03:02,680
Speaker 4: it for a really long time, and I just gave

1372
01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:04,600
Speaker 4: it up to God in the universe, and I'm like,

1373
01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:07,880
Speaker 4: what is meant to me is going to be. And

1374
01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:09,560
Speaker 4: I told her this is the bottom line, this is

1375
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:11,160
Speaker 4: what I can come down to, and if you can't,

1376
01:03:11,160 --> 01:03:13,800
Speaker 4: that's okay. I wish she the most beautiful birth. Contacts

1377
01:03:13,840 --> 01:03:15,240
Speaker 4: me like a month later and she's like, we found

1378
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:18,000
Speaker 4: a different Duela. Thank you so much, we love you.

1379
01:03:18,080 --> 01:03:21,200
Speaker 4: I'm like, no problem getting email from her a year

1380
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:25,280
Speaker 4: and a half later. She had a terrible, horrific birth experience.

1381
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:27,760
Speaker 4: She's having a really hard time with her husband, and

1382
01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:31,160
Speaker 4: she didn't love her doula, and she just she poured

1383
01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:33,880
Speaker 4: out in that email. I fucking hated my birth. I

1384
01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:36,480
Speaker 4: hated my Duela, I hated everything. I wish you were there.

1385
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:38,960
Speaker 4: I miss you. I want you in my life. She

1386
01:03:39,040 --> 01:03:41,480
Speaker 4: really poured out, and I felt awful, but I was like,

1387
01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:44,320
Speaker 4: I knew that I wasn't supposed to be there because

1388
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:46,680
Speaker 4: I do get protective and I'm sure they're like, I

1389
01:03:46,760 --> 01:03:48,120
Speaker 4: had to kick him out of the first birth. I

1390
01:03:48,160 --> 01:03:49,680
Speaker 4: can't imagine what I would have had to have done

1391
01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:52,080
Speaker 4: the second time. So I have had a few situations

1392
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:55,320
Speaker 4: like that. I have. On one occasion, I saw a

1393
01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:57,840
Speaker 4: doctor he should literally be in jail for the way

1394
01:03:57,880 --> 01:04:00,360
Speaker 4: he physically abused this woman. Oh my god, it was

1395
01:04:00,520 --> 01:04:04,640
Speaker 4: fucking horrible. Literally, that man should be hospital like jailed,

1396
01:04:04,760 --> 01:04:08,000
Speaker 4: like imprisoned. He's it was terrible. He physically abused her.

1397
01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:11,200
Speaker 4: You know, I've seen that, and I had to really

1398
01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:13,080
Speaker 4: step away and make that choice, Like do I leave

1399
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:15,320
Speaker 4: this room because I can't handle this anymore. But I'm

1400
01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:17,240
Speaker 4: not supposed to say anything right, like I can get

1401
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:19,320
Speaker 4: big trouble. I'm not supposed to speak on my client's

1402
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:22,120
Speaker 4: behalf right, And there was nobody else there with her,

1403
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,440
Speaker 4: so I'm like looking at the nurses and I'm telling

1404
01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:26,120
Speaker 4: her to speak up for herself, and I'm doing the

1405
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:29,760
Speaker 4: best I can. You know, that was another awful situation, unfortunately.

1406
01:04:29,840 --> 01:04:33,120
Speaker 4: But other than that, out of all the other clients

1407
01:04:33,160 --> 01:04:35,160
Speaker 4: I've had, like, those are my worst times where I've

1408
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:37,960
Speaker 4: had to decide if this was something I should be

1409
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:38,680
Speaker 4: a part of or not.

1410
01:04:39,480 --> 01:04:44,040
Speaker 3: I have one other question. Yeah, but we could go

1411
01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:46,560
Speaker 3: all day and I'm like, I'm like, all the questions

1412
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:51,240
Speaker 3: are flowing. Have you ever been present for a stillbirth?

1413
01:04:52,400 --> 01:04:54,880
Speaker 4: Okay, thank god, I have it going wrong?

1414
01:04:54,960 --> 01:04:57,680
Speaker 3: And like, how do how do you support after.

1415
01:04:57,360 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 4: That things going wrong? Yes, I've been a part of

1416
01:04:59,840 --> 01:05:03,080
Speaker 4: that that's really hard as a doula, even for someone

1417
01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:05,800
Speaker 4: like me who will very proudly say I have a

1418
01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:08,440
Speaker 4: gift for it. I have a gift for when everything

1419
01:05:08,440 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 4: else is going wrong, I'm the calmest person in the room.

1420
01:05:11,480 --> 01:05:16,840
Speaker 4: So even then for me, there's it's difficult. The worst

1421
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:19,560
Speaker 4: I can come that comes up to mine right now

1422
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:22,919
Speaker 4: is I had a mom who baby was not still born,

1423
01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:27,960
Speaker 4: but baby was completely not responsive at all, no breathing,

1424
01:05:28,200 --> 01:05:30,720
Speaker 4: no nothing. We called nine one one. It was a

1425
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:33,600
Speaker 4: home birth, and not to scare people from home birth,

1426
01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:37,760
Speaker 4: because we are trained. Midwives are trained equally, if not

1427
01:05:37,840 --> 01:05:41,160
Speaker 4: in some cases better to handle like a newborn resuscitation

1428
01:05:41,240 --> 01:05:44,040
Speaker 4: better than the hospital is even right, so we call

1429
01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:48,479
Speaker 4: nine one one. They started resuscitation on the baby. And

1430
01:05:48,520 --> 01:05:50,160
Speaker 4: the reason why this one was so hard for me

1431
01:05:50,320 --> 01:05:54,240
Speaker 4: was because the parents were good friends of mine, longtime

1432
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:56,840
Speaker 4: good friends. I mean, it was very very personal, and

1433
01:05:57,000 --> 01:05:59,080
Speaker 4: I knew something was off during the labor because they

1434
01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:02,520
Speaker 4: wanted to birth. I have to be mindful of what

1435
01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:04,160
Speaker 4: I say right now because legally there's only so many

1436
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:05,919
Speaker 4: things I could say. But where they wanted to birth

1437
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:08,680
Speaker 4: that they were unable to outside of the home, so

1438
01:06:08,720 --> 01:06:10,640
Speaker 4: they ended up at the apartment they were living at,

1439
01:06:10,680 --> 01:06:13,080
Speaker 4: and she felt very uncomfortable and unsafe there. She felt

1440
01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:14,640
Speaker 4: like her neighbors could hear her. It wasn't the right

1441
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:18,720
Speaker 4: space for her. So long story short, baby is completely

1442
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:24,480
Speaker 4: non responsive, called nine one one full resuscitation, and I

1443
01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:26,680
Speaker 4: just looked at mom and dad and dad was losing it,

1444
01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 4: and I just said, you, guys, the only thing you

1445
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:30,640
Speaker 4: can do right now is you need to talk to

1446
01:06:30,680 --> 01:06:33,200
Speaker 4: your baby, because that baby needs a reason to live

1447
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:36,479
Speaker 4: right now. That baby needs to hear mom and dad

1448
01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:40,000
Speaker 4: and know that there's something waiting for me. So they

1449
01:06:40,040 --> 01:06:43,080
Speaker 4: started singing Wheels on the bus, which they they used

1450
01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:46,760
Speaker 4: to read the Wheels on the Bus book. Yeah, I know,

1451
01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:49,600
Speaker 4: I'm getting hill. And they used to read Wheels on

1452
01:06:49,640 --> 01:06:52,680
Speaker 4: the Bus book to their baby when she was in womb.

1453
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:56,600
Speaker 4: And oh god, chills everywhere in my legs. And they

1454
01:06:56,600 --> 01:06:58,720
Speaker 4: started singing wheels on the bus and I'm like, keep going,

1455
01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:01,919
Speaker 4: keep going. And what felt like, you know, twenty thirty minutes.

1456
01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:03,800
Speaker 4: It was actually three minutes, which is a long time.

1457
01:07:04,040 --> 01:07:08,120
Speaker 4: But baby started screaming. Okay, before the paramedics or anyone

1458
01:07:08,120 --> 01:07:13,520
Speaker 4: got there. Babies find baby screaming and afterwards, Mom was

1459
01:07:13,560 --> 01:07:15,720
Speaker 4: okay because her baby was on her chest and she's like,

1460
01:07:15,800 --> 01:07:17,720
Speaker 4: my baby is here. So she was fine because all

1461
01:07:17,720 --> 01:07:20,960
Speaker 4: she needed was that baby. But for Dad, Dad's like

1462
01:07:21,120 --> 01:07:23,640
Speaker 4: watching the love of his life and his baby. He

1463
01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:26,800
Speaker 4: just experienced. He was not well. He was not well.

1464
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,640
Speaker 4: So that was me again wanting to lose my own shit,

1465
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:31,640
Speaker 4: but not in taking Dad to the corner and doing

1466
01:07:31,640 --> 01:07:34,080
Speaker 4: some serious duel of work. And I'm like, listen, paramedics

1467
01:07:34,120 --> 01:07:35,440
Speaker 4: are going to be here in a minute. This is

1468
01:07:35,440 --> 01:07:37,240
Speaker 4: what's going to happen. These are the steps, this is

1469
01:07:37,240 --> 01:07:41,360
Speaker 4: the process. Legally, technically, baby mom don't have to go

1470
01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:43,280
Speaker 4: to the hospital after that because they're all totally fine.

1471
01:07:43,640 --> 01:07:48,240
Speaker 4: But we recommended in that specific situation for specific reasons

1472
01:07:48,600 --> 01:07:50,720
Speaker 4: like baconium and things like that, that we wanted baby

1473
01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:53,040
Speaker 4: to be seen at the hospital anyways, So we knew

1474
01:07:53,160 --> 01:07:54,840
Speaker 4: they were going to go to the hospital and that

1475
01:07:56,320 --> 01:07:58,200
Speaker 4: I just just preparing him for what's going to happen,

1476
01:07:58,240 --> 01:08:03,400
Speaker 4: because it is so rare that something like this happens. However,

1477
01:08:04,240 --> 01:08:06,600
Speaker 4: how do you think the medical staff is going to

1478
01:08:06,680 --> 01:08:08,680
Speaker 4: treat them when they get there with their baby and

1479
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:09,480
Speaker 4: tell them.

1480
01:08:09,480 --> 01:08:10,280
Speaker 3: They got a home burn?

1481
01:08:10,400 --> 01:08:10,560
Speaker 7: Yeah?

1482
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:16,320
Speaker 4: Because total totally it's going to be awful. And here's

1483
01:08:16,360 --> 01:08:19,320
Speaker 4: the thing. No, everything's totally fine. And here's the thing.

1484
01:08:19,439 --> 01:08:21,600
Speaker 4: I have been a part of a lot of transports.

1485
01:08:21,920 --> 01:08:24,280
Speaker 4: Some of them were medically necessary, some of them were

1486
01:08:24,520 --> 01:08:26,720
Speaker 4: Mom just needed an epidirl and she's been laboring for

1487
01:08:26,760 --> 01:08:29,720
Speaker 4: three days, and the poor they needed a break. You know,

1488
01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:31,840
Speaker 4: we're not opposed to, Hey, mom needs to go to

1489
01:08:31,880 --> 01:08:34,160
Speaker 4: the hospital's go hospital, right. So I've been a part

1490
01:08:34,160 --> 01:08:35,960
Speaker 4: of a lot of transports, and there have been times

1491
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:38,679
Speaker 4: where the paramedics have shown up and they know the midwife,

1492
01:08:38,760 --> 01:08:42,439
Speaker 4: she's their midwife right for their babies, or they know me,

1493
01:08:42,520 --> 01:08:45,360
Speaker 4: I'm their Dulan. They're like, hey, and they're so loving

1494
01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:47,439
Speaker 4: and so awesome. And we get there and we know

1495
01:08:47,479 --> 01:08:50,680
Speaker 4: those doctors and nurses and they're super receptive. But that

1496
01:08:50,840 --> 01:08:53,160
Speaker 4: is not always the case. There are many places all

1497
01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:55,559
Speaker 4: over the country that it's exactly what you guys said.

1498
01:08:55,560 --> 01:08:57,080
Speaker 4: It's a lot of fear, it's a lot of bullshit,

1499
01:08:57,120 --> 01:08:59,200
Speaker 4: and I just I just prepped him for the worst

1500
01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:00,760
Speaker 4: to come. And they did get treated really bad when

1501
01:09:00,800 --> 01:09:01,519
Speaker 4: they first got there.

1502
01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:04,160
Speaker 6: But and just for the record, because I have watched

1503
01:09:04,160 --> 01:09:09,240
Speaker 6: a lot of birds online, if you watched like animals birds,

1504
01:09:09,240 --> 01:09:11,839
Speaker 6: Sometimes the baby's laying there for a minute or two.

1505
01:09:11,680 --> 01:09:12,200
Speaker 5: Three minutes.

1506
01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:14,000
Speaker 4: And yes, sometimes I know this.

1507
01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:17,600
Speaker 6: Sounds crazy, that like the primal instinct for the mom

1508
01:09:17,439 --> 01:09:19,879
Speaker 6: the animals like never panic.

1509
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:21,719
Speaker 5: They're just like I've watched an elephant.

1510
01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:27,000
Speaker 4: Just give them a little bit. Yeah, they're just letting

1511
01:09:27,040 --> 01:09:29,680
Speaker 4: them know, like, hey, you need to live now. And

1512
01:09:29,680 --> 01:09:31,360
Speaker 4: that's a mom and dad were doing when they're singing.

1513
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:32,400
Speaker 4: They're just letting them know.

1514
01:09:32,439 --> 01:09:32,679
Speaker 5: Hate.

1515
01:09:32,720 --> 01:09:35,200
Speaker 4: I know you recognize this voice, give you a reason,

1516
01:09:35,280 --> 01:09:36,320
Speaker 4: let's go, because it's.

1517
01:09:36,160 --> 01:09:39,559
Speaker 6: Literally even like I read about like rubbing on the spine,

1518
01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:42,679
Speaker 6: like there's it's literally, you guys in transition that's happening.

1519
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:46,599
Speaker 5: A soul is encompassing a vessel y. So sometimes they're

1520
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:47,960
Speaker 5: like where am I coming? I don't want to go.

1521
01:09:48,120 --> 01:09:55,960
Speaker 6: I hate that place again again jumps it off as.

1522
01:09:57,880 --> 01:10:01,000
Speaker 4: Oh my god, sometimes I need a minute. But for

1523
01:10:01,160 --> 01:10:04,320
Speaker 4: the record, Jamila, just so you know, that same family

1524
01:10:04,360 --> 01:10:06,599
Speaker 4: as planning baby number two right now, years and years later,

1525
01:10:06,760 --> 01:10:08,920
Speaker 4: they are planning a home birth, and they said they

1526
01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:10,600
Speaker 4: would not have changed a single thing the way that

1527
01:10:10,640 --> 01:10:11,240
Speaker 4: they did it.

1528
01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:14,120
Speaker 3: That's amazing, not a single thing. That must feel so

1529
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:18,320
Speaker 3: good for you too in your work. Well, thank you,

1530
01:10:18,360 --> 01:10:20,120
Speaker 3: thank you for what you do. I'm glad I be

1531
01:10:20,160 --> 01:10:22,240
Speaker 3: able to talk to you, especially because I do want

1532
01:10:22,240 --> 01:10:26,400
Speaker 3: to have a kid at some point, Like, yeah, I

1533
01:10:26,400 --> 01:10:29,760
Speaker 3: want to know that. I like, I feel thank god

1534
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:32,920
Speaker 3: now I have more support I have, you know this podcast.

1535
01:10:32,960 --> 01:10:34,439
Speaker 3: I have a community of women that we listen to

1536
01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:36,519
Speaker 3: that I feel like are my friends that you know,

1537
01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:38,960
Speaker 3: we just and I get to speak to people like

1538
01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:41,840
Speaker 3: you where I feel supported. You know, So this time around,

1539
01:10:41,840 --> 01:10:45,840
Speaker 3: no matter who baby, daddy, family, ain't nothing penetrating what

1540
01:10:45,920 --> 01:10:46,479
Speaker 3: the fuck.

1541
01:10:46,320 --> 01:10:46,800
Speaker 4: I want to.

1542
01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:51,559
Speaker 3: Sometimes you have to say fuck it and go with

1543
01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:52,960
Speaker 3: your some conversations.

1544
01:10:53,000 --> 01:10:54,479
Speaker 6: You got to let people know I'm not it's not

1545
01:10:54,520 --> 01:10:56,800
Speaker 6: a conversation. It's not up for discussion. I've made my

1546
01:10:56,840 --> 01:10:57,960
Speaker 6: decision and this is me.

1547
01:10:58,120 --> 01:10:59,360
Speaker 4: I'm not discussing it.

1548
01:10:59,400 --> 01:11:01,960
Speaker 3: And whether that's a hospital, whether that's home birth, whatever

1549
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:02,519
Speaker 3: it is.

1550
01:11:02,400 --> 01:11:06,320
Speaker 6: Mom in law, mama, dad and sister brother, like, it's

1551
01:11:06,360 --> 01:11:06,880
Speaker 6: not a discussion.

1552
01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:08,360
Speaker 4: Only that's so true.

1553
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:11,640
Speaker 6: True, respect my decision. It's my birth, it's my experience.

1554
01:11:11,720 --> 01:11:13,120
Speaker 6: Even Daddy and.

1555
01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:14,800
Speaker 5: Have a birth plan, and that's it.

1556
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:16,400
Speaker 4: You have to be so honoring in that way.

1557
01:11:16,479 --> 01:11:17,439
Speaker 5: Yeah, honor yourself.

1558
01:11:18,080 --> 01:11:20,840
Speaker 3: And with that said, I know you have kind, you

1559
01:11:20,920 --> 01:11:24,120
Speaker 3: have a read you have the so female network that

1560
01:11:24,120 --> 01:11:27,680
Speaker 3: you have resources for your listeners to tap into if

1561
01:11:27,680 --> 01:11:30,800
Speaker 3: they're considering whatever they're considering and they need support. So

1562
01:11:30,920 --> 01:11:34,200
Speaker 3: let us absolutely find you and all your amazing work.

1563
01:11:34,320 --> 01:11:37,080
Speaker 4: So I'm a CEO. I own three different companies and

1564
01:11:37,479 --> 01:11:40,719
Speaker 4: the most recent one marries all of this, so everything

1565
01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:42,559
Speaker 4: women's health. You're trying to get pregnant, trying to not

1566
01:11:42,560 --> 01:11:44,600
Speaker 4: get pregnant, You want to be back, you want a breastfeed,

1567
01:11:44,960 --> 01:11:47,200
Speaker 4: you want a hospital birth, it doesn't matter what you're

1568
01:11:47,240 --> 01:11:50,800
Speaker 4: looking for. We have a community that is a membership site.

1569
01:11:50,840 --> 01:11:53,360
Speaker 4: There's a ton of free resources on there. It's so

1570
01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:57,679
Speaker 4: Dashed female dot com. And I have a book that's

1571
01:11:57,680 --> 01:11:59,800
Speaker 4: coming out that's the first step that starts to teach

1572
01:11:59,840 --> 01:12:01,640
Speaker 4: one and how to connect with their bodies and use

1573
01:12:01,680 --> 01:12:06,519
Speaker 4: tools like essential oils, meditation, mindfulness to help that process. Right.

1574
01:12:07,280 --> 01:12:09,040
Speaker 4: That's getting ready to come out too, And you can

1575
01:12:09,120 --> 01:12:10,599
Speaker 4: go to the site. You can get the book there,

1576
01:12:10,640 --> 01:12:12,519
Speaker 4: you can get free resources, you can sign up for

1577
01:12:12,560 --> 01:12:17,479
Speaker 4: the free newsletter and just get support, unbiased, evidence based

1578
01:12:17,520 --> 01:12:20,280
Speaker 4: support wherever you're at in your journey. Girl, We just

1579
01:12:20,320 --> 01:12:21,960
Speaker 4: want you to do you and we want to love

1580
01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:22,960
Speaker 4: on you and that's it.

1581
01:12:23,920 --> 01:12:25,559
Speaker 5: Thank you, You're welcome.

1582
01:12:25,720 --> 01:12:27,559
Speaker 3: So is that the best place for them to find you?

1583
01:12:28,040 --> 01:12:31,639
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know. So website is great, so dash

1584
01:12:31,720 --> 01:12:36,439
Speaker 4: female dot com. But other great resources Instagram is the Doulah.

1585
01:12:36,520 --> 01:12:41,120
Speaker 4: Instagram is grounded Mamas m a m as so dash

1586
01:12:41,200 --> 01:12:45,120
Speaker 4: female right for so Female. And then I have a

1587
01:12:45,160 --> 01:12:48,439
Speaker 4: wellness Instagram as well, which is at the dot dream

1588
01:12:48,479 --> 01:12:51,719
Speaker 4: dot Thinker, so the dream Thinker with dots in between,

1589
01:12:52,160 --> 01:12:54,559
Speaker 4: and I give to away tons of resources and information

1590
01:12:54,600 --> 01:12:56,760
Speaker 4: there as well that you guys can DM me, email me,

1591
01:12:57,120 --> 01:12:59,680
Speaker 4: connect with me and my assistant directly there and get

1592
01:12:59,680 --> 01:13:00,280
Speaker 4: all this support.

1593
01:13:01,479 --> 01:13:03,280
Speaker 3: Well, thank you so much for coming.

1594
01:13:03,520 --> 01:13:06,000
Speaker 4: Thank you for having me so fun to connect with us.

1595
01:13:06,040 --> 01:13:10,400
Speaker 4: I know, crying in your arms, I'm so proud, but hey,

1596
01:13:10,520 --> 01:13:13,000
Speaker 4: this was only one time. Girl. At some point I'm

1597
01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:14,080
Speaker 4: going to have you crying in my arms.

1598
01:13:14,920 --> 01:13:18,840
Speaker 5: This is probably true. Well, we'll catch you guys later.

1599
01:13:19,200 --> 01:13:22,080
Speaker 3: Make sure you follow us at Good Mom's Underscore, Bad Choices.

1600
01:13:22,360 --> 01:13:25,240
Speaker 3: Follow go to our website, Good Momsbad Choices dot com,

1601
01:13:25,240 --> 01:13:27,760
Speaker 3: subscribe to our newsletter by some merch. You can also

1602
01:13:27,880 --> 01:13:31,479
Speaker 3: watch this episode on our Patreon. I know you guys

1603
01:13:31,520 --> 01:13:33,800
Speaker 3: like to hear our sex dyvoy this, but also we're

1604
01:13:33,880 --> 01:13:36,360
Speaker 3: kind of cute. It's so sam so you probably want

1605
01:13:36,360 --> 01:13:40,320
Speaker 3: to watch, So go check out our patreon. We have

1606
01:13:40,400 --> 01:13:43,760
Speaker 3: some cool stuff on there to other offers, and.

1607
01:13:43,720 --> 01:13:44,400
Speaker 4: That's it right.

1608
01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:46,879
Speaker 6: Also, we're going to do a meet up at Hollywood

1609
01:13:46,920 --> 01:13:48,599
Speaker 6: Cemetery on August tenth.

1610
01:13:48,680 --> 01:13:51,320
Speaker 5: It's Voice in the Hood. If you're in La, you needs.

1611
01:13:51,120 --> 01:13:53,840
Speaker 3: To come for West Love is dding.

1612
01:13:53,960 --> 01:13:55,040
Speaker 5: We're bringing tequila.

1613
01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:57,240
Speaker 3: You must buy tickets now. They might be sold out

1614
01:13:57,240 --> 01:13:59,560
Speaker 3: already by the time you heard this episode.

1615
01:14:00,120 --> 01:14:02,000
Speaker 5: Okay, bye bye bye.

1616
01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:04,120
Speaker 1: Tie.

1617
01:14:10,080 --> 01:14:11,240
Speaker 3: How beautiful.

1618
01:14:11,360 --> 01:14:16,599
Speaker 2: It's nothing more than two way a time storm. I've

1619
01:14:16,640 --> 01:14:21,840
Speaker 2: never been in love like this before. Now let me

1620
01:14:21,920 --> 01:14:26,320
Speaker 2: pray to keep you from the parables that will surely

1621
01:14:26,479 --> 01:14:31,360
Speaker 2: come to life for you, my friends, has just beyond.

1622
01:14:31,960 --> 01:14:36,000
Speaker 8: And I thank you for choosing me to come through

1623
01:14:36,479 --> 01:14:42,120
Speaker 8: to life to be a beautiful reflection of his grades.

1624
01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:46,679
Speaker 8: See I know how to gain so great is only

1625
01:14:46,800 --> 01:14:51,880
Speaker 8: one se