Speaker 1: We try to in an ultimately an offended world, an
Speaker 1: easily offended world. We tried not to offend, but there's
Speaker 1: a limit to what we could say that inhibits us
Speaker 1: to get to the truth. And sometimes, Aaron, you need
Speaker 1: to hear the truth, dude, suck it up, stay in school.
Speaker 1: What's up, guys, Welcome to the podcast. This is episode ten.
Speaker 1: Seems like we just me and you just did episode
Speaker 1: one hundred. This is Bernie Calcote, my guest today, and
Speaker 1: he's been guessed many times, many times. We were just
Speaker 1: talking before we started recording. We're talking about how this
Speaker 1: this podcast is really built where it's completely off the cuff,
Speaker 1: no preparation, no question preparation, no notes, and so we're
Speaker 1: left to answer on the spot, which is tough, yeah,
Speaker 1: because you you have to just think of your answer
Speaker 1: right now, and you can't let you can't sit there
Speaker 1: and research it or think about it or look at notes.
Speaker 1: And so that leads to me. Sometimes I'll just be
Speaker 1: midway through the day of a podcast and several hours
Speaker 1: later after our record and I'll go, oh, I should
Speaker 1: have said that. That would have been great, That would
Speaker 1: have been a way better answer than that was stupid.
Speaker 1: So that brings up the format of what this podcast is.
Speaker 1: This podcast we answer your questions you email Granger Smith
Speaker 1: podcast at gmail dot com. It could be about any subject,
Speaker 1: doesn't matter what it is. We're going to walk through
Speaker 1: it as if we are sitting around a campfire, or
Speaker 1: sitting in a pickup truck, or sitting in a deer stand,
Speaker 1: you name it, sitting at a cafe having coffee, and
Speaker 1: we're going to answer the question that you have on
Speaker 1: your mind as if not as therapist or psychic I
Speaker 1: trist or preachers or priest, but as your friends wanting
Speaker 1: to give you the best advice from an open heart
Speaker 1: that we can give you. That's the format of this podcast.
Speaker 1: We're not always right, but we're going to tell it
Speaker 1: to you as if Bernie here a buddy, you're in
Speaker 1: the group, you're one of the wolf Pack, diamond Dogs.
Speaker 1: We're gonna bring it to you straight. We ain't gonna
Speaker 1: sugarcoat it. Yeah, we may be wrong, but we're not
Speaker 1: gonna be indecisive. Yeah, we're not gonna let too much
Speaker 1: space go by because it's a podcast and it sounds
Speaker 1: weird to be quiet. So the first one, the subject
Speaker 1: line is advice. It says, Hey Granger, I'm sixteen years old.
Speaker 1: I have a full time job as a farmer. I've
Speaker 1: got an amazing girlfriend. I live in Mexico, and I
Speaker 1: want to get married in around a year and a half.
Speaker 1: I want to make more money than just my salary.
Speaker 1: What advice would you give me? Parentheses? Getting married is expensive.
Speaker 1: If you ever go to Mexico, it would be an
Speaker 1: honor to show you around the beautiful mountains that we
Speaker 1: have here in Mexico Duringo Nueva idiall thanks. This comes
Speaker 1: from Victors. Yeah, so Victor. The first thing I would
Speaker 1: say is an advice is I think seventeen and a
Speaker 1: half years old is too young to get married. He's sixteen,
Speaker 1: he's got a great girlfriend. He wants to wait a
Speaker 1: year now. First of all, he's sixteen. Got a full
Speaker 1: time job? Is that a thing like these days? I
Speaker 1: guess if you're like homeschool and then you just work,
Speaker 1: and maybe it's a different like family. Yeah, you're you're saying,
Speaker 1: because because where is school in the equation? That's what
Speaker 1: you're saying. Yeah, yeah, full time job? Maybe he either
Speaker 1: we're wrong and he didn't mean full time job. He
Speaker 1: meant he's got he works as max hours as he
Speaker 1: can with school, or we're wrong, he's not in school
Speaker 1: at all, and he's got an amazing girl for and congratulations.
Speaker 1: And he says getting married is expensive relatively speaking. That
Speaker 1: depends on what your ceremony is. It depends on how
Speaker 1: you I mean, you could have a cheap wedding at
Speaker 1: the courthouse or a cheap wedding in your backyard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's this what's his name? Victor? All right, Victor, get
Speaker 1: in here, buddy, we're gonna talk about this. Dude. Love
Speaker 1: your girl. That's awesome. You got this great girl. Bro,
Speaker 1: you're sixteen, and so enjoy grizz has said this to
Speaker 1: you a lot. Enjoy being sixteen. Don't be in such
Speaker 1: a hurry to kind of like grow up and work
Speaker 1: and get married. And if if you found this girl,
Speaker 1: I think that that's great. I think there's some development
Speaker 1: maybe that still needs to happen and like go through
Speaker 1: some things. I know. This is kind of like, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, goes against what we've said before about like
Speaker 1: don't date for seven years. Yeah, you know, like once
Speaker 1: you realize that they're the one, But when they're sixteen,
Speaker 1: it's almost like well, you need to go through some
Speaker 1: things together. And like you know, but I mean, other
Speaker 1: people have gotten married seventeen eighteen and they've been fine.
Speaker 1: So stupid question. But are we dealing with something cultural here?
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe yeah, I don't think so. The world has
Speaker 1: gone so the world is so similar now, but maybe yeah. Though,
Speaker 1: But seventeen seventeen and a half still seems still seems
Speaker 1: really young, Victor. And and you're gonna have the rest
Speaker 1: of your life. Look at your parents and your grandparents.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have the rest of your life to be
Speaker 1: married and to play the role of a husband. But
Speaker 1: you only have right now to be sixteen and seventeen
Speaker 1: and eighteen and nineteen. You only have this short, tiny
Speaker 1: window of life where you are a teenager and you
Speaker 1: could make mistakes and it's okay because you could recover
Speaker 1: from a mistake. When you're married, mistakes they hit a
Speaker 1: lot deeper and they have a deeper, farther reaching consequence
Speaker 1: on a mistake that you make when you're married. And
Speaker 1: I'm talking about as a mistake like you make a
Speaker 1: bad investment, or you buy a new trunk that's actually
Speaker 1: a lemon and it breaks down and you shouldn't have
Speaker 1: paid that much for a truck. Okay, stupid mistake as
Speaker 1: a teenager, but at least you didn't bring her into this.
Speaker 1: Now it's not her problem. So that's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: There's all kinds of you go off and you take
Speaker 1: a crazy job offer that's a risk, that's low money,
Speaker 1: but it has a high potential and it ends up
Speaker 1: being a dud and you lose everything. It's okay as
Speaker 1: an eighteen year old, that's okay to lose everything. If
Speaker 1: you're married, you don't want to lose everything. You have
Speaker 1: more to lose. You're going to experience this for maybe
Speaker 1: sixty years. You're going to be made married and you're
Speaker 1: gonna have responsibility of not only her, but kids and
Speaker 1: god willing grandkids. And you have to tighten up this
Speaker 1: ship when you're doing that. But right now you could
Speaker 1: be a loose cannon. Loosely speaking. Yeah, let's just for
Speaker 1: the fun of it, let's shift the landscape of what
Speaker 1: we're talking about here, or the scene. Victor lives on
Speaker 1: a plot of land that his family has owned for generations.
Speaker 1: His grandmother and grandfather live on the property. They got
Speaker 1: married when they were seventeen. His parents got married when
Speaker 1: they were seventeen. They all work on this farm in
Speaker 1: the mountains together. Their school is kind of like just
Speaker 1: a little bit or it's just different than here. Like
Speaker 1: they go to school and then they go work in
Speaker 1: the afternoons and it's like this apprentice kind of growing,
Speaker 1: which sounds awesome. Actually, but what if that, what if
Speaker 1: that is the context here for Victor? Is the answer
Speaker 1: the same this back to this is a cultural thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess this was question. What if the
Speaker 1: culture is is like that, if that's the scene, you're right,
Speaker 1: You're right, and so the answer is not so then
Speaker 1: if that's the situation, then we just go straight to
Speaker 1: his question, I want to make more money than just
Speaker 1: my salary? What advice do you give me? Okay, right,
Speaker 1: like we got way off of his question. Threw something
Speaker 1: at him that, Yeah, hey're like whoa sixteen? Hold on, man,
Speaker 1: I love let me say too. I love the Mexican
Speaker 1: culture so much. I love it. I love I love
Speaker 1: the culture. I love the music, I love the food,
Speaker 1: I love the work ethic. I love the architecture and
Speaker 1: the colors and the I love I love the Mexican culture.
Speaker 1: So I want to come visit you. I want to
Speaker 1: take you up on your offer and go to Durango
Speaker 1: and you come here to the Yegee farm and you
Speaker 1: spend some time with us, and you seem like a
Speaker 1: really cool kid. And you could work for me. That
Speaker 1: would be amazing. You come work for me, that's the
Speaker 1: answer for some You can come work for me too.
Speaker 1: If you are looking for options, we'll both of us
Speaker 1: and we'll trade, will trade, you know, will come stay
Speaker 1: at your ranch? That would be okay. But that's not
Speaker 1: as none of this is his question. His question is
Speaker 1: he wants to make more money right now in Durango
Speaker 1: as a farmer, as a sixteen year old. What advice
Speaker 1: do you give parentheses? Getting married is expensive, So goal
Speaker 1: make more money so that I can get married because
Speaker 1: it costs money, right tying those together? So doing it
Speaker 1: for his girl, which is admirable, I think, well, okay,
Speaker 1: let's just break this down to he's got a boss.
Speaker 1: I'm sure right if we're talking about practical ways that
Speaker 1: you can make more money, Okay, if I have people
Speaker 1: come to me all the time, I want to make
Speaker 1: more money, right, employees, And it's almost like okay, well,
Speaker 1: you need to find ways to add value to the
Speaker 1: company that you're a part of. So the farm team,
Speaker 1: whatever it is that you're a part of, you have
Speaker 1: to find ways to add value to that. And that
Speaker 1: could be I'm going to take these very specific tasks
Speaker 1: and responsibilities off the plate of my supervisor that person. Ye,
Speaker 1: so then they get more freed up and I'm Therefore,
Speaker 1: if I get pulled out of this company, there's a
Speaker 1: lot more that's at stake. My employer does not want
Speaker 1: to lose me because replacing me is going to be
Speaker 1: really difficult. Make it difficult to be replaced. That's how
Speaker 1: you make more money. Yeah, yeah, that's great. So that's
Speaker 1: that's in the context of staying in your same job
Speaker 1: right now and be someone they can't replace. Be someone
Speaker 1: that knows how to work the generator, that knows how
Speaker 1: to work the truck, that knows how to repair the tractor.
Speaker 1: You're the guy that knows just about everything there on
Speaker 1: the farm. And you want everyone to think, well, I
Speaker 1: mean we got to cut back. Who should we cut back? Well,
Speaker 1: definitely not Victor, because I need him seven different things.
Speaker 1: So there's that. If you don't want to be part
Speaker 1: of the farm doing this then, I mean there's there's
Speaker 1: stuff like Uber. Can you drive Uber when you're sixteen?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Last time I went to Mexico, one
Speaker 1: of the ranch hands that I was working with this
Speaker 1: reason I even thought about it. I said, what do
Speaker 1: you do for extra money? And he said he drives
Speaker 1: Uber And that was in Sonora. So I don't know
Speaker 1: if you could drive at sixteen, But there's there's a
Speaker 1: lot of things that you could do, like you clock
Speaker 1: out from the farm and then you clock in on
Speaker 1: the Uber app and you start that. But basically, it's
Speaker 1: a great question, man, and we wish you the best,
Speaker 1: and we both think that you shouldn't get married right now.
Speaker 1: Your grandma and your great grandma and your mom, everybody
Speaker 1: and your family all lives together and that's kind of
Speaker 1: the thing, and you have that support and that's cultural differences.
Speaker 1: Tell them you want you need to go on a
Speaker 1: a work trip to Texas and work for your buddy Granger.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's so you can't get married right now, but
Speaker 1: you're going to go on this trip. So yeah, thank you, Victor.
Speaker 1: I appreciate your brother. Here's I just saw your name.
Speaker 1: Where was that? I literally just saw your name here.
Speaker 1: It is right there, Granger slash Bernie. I need some
Speaker 1: advice Hed Granger and guest princees hopefully Bernie. My name
Speaker 1: is Nick. I'm eighteen. I'm about to start college as
Speaker 1: a heavy diesel mechanic. I've had job since I was fifteen,
Speaker 1: and now I have a pretty good job and it
Speaker 1: brings It has brought me plenty of good things, and
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to be I've always wanted to get
Speaker 1: a bass boat. But I buy things that I probably
Speaker 1: don't need, and I but I'm trying to read your writing, brother,
Speaker 1: But I do it anyway and feel like I regret
Speaker 1: it afterwards. So you buy things that you don't need,
Speaker 1: and then you regret it. I look at others and
Speaker 1: what they have at my age, and I always think
Speaker 1: I could do better. I struggle at saving money, and
Speaker 1: I know I need to grow up fast and start
Speaker 1: a life. It just seems like no matter how much
Speaker 1: I have, I feel like I don't have enough. I
Speaker 1: feel like like no matter how much money or materialistic
Speaker 1: things I have, I feel like I fall short. Sometimes
Speaker 1: I struggle at saving money. I struggle at looking at
Speaker 1: everything else that everyone has, and I struggle at looking
Speaker 1: what I have as a blessing. I always look to
Speaker 1: the Lord. That will never change. Lately I can't seem
Speaker 1: to find happiness. Please help, Thank you. This was a
Speaker 1: nick This email got worse and worse as it went on.
Speaker 1: Like it starts off, it's like things are pretty good,
Speaker 1: a good job, and I just wish I had a
Speaker 1: bass boat, and then it ends up the very end
Speaker 1: saying I can't find happiness, or right before that, he said,
Speaker 1: I always look to the Lord and that'll ever change.
Speaker 1: Which I'm gonna challenge that, bro, yep, because if your
Speaker 1: heart is in that place of like there's no contentment
Speaker 1: and you feel like you need that, you need that,
Speaker 1: you're not talking the Lord, because God's gonna be like,
Speaker 1: y'all need that, bro all he needs me. Hey right here,
Speaker 1: right here, don't worry about all that material stuff. Like man,
Speaker 1: I heard of God say the other day that we
Speaker 1: go to Jesus at the beginning, we go to Jesus
Speaker 1: for him to fulfill our needs, and then we later
Speaker 1: find out he's all we need. And that's so true.
Speaker 1: It's like, hey, hey Jesus, everyone's been talking about you.
Speaker 1: I really need you to help fix this all right,
Speaker 1: I need you to help fulfill this or help me
Speaker 1: get more of this, or help this person to get well.
Speaker 1: And then the more we develop in our faith, we
Speaker 1: realize Jesus, You're just all I need. Yeah, I feel
Speaker 1: like hyper said I read something recently. Don't pray because
Speaker 1: you want God to meet your needs. Pray because it
Speaker 1: glorifies God to meet our needs. Does that make sense? Yeah?
Speaker 1: It does. Like, Hey, this is so I think the
Speaker 1: point is is like there's a posture here that I
Speaker 1: think is just a little off balance. Yeah. So the
Speaker 1: specific question, though, is how do I well got worse
Speaker 1: and worse? But the problem seems to be the source
Speaker 1: of he two things. One he looks at everyone else
Speaker 1: like they're doing better than him. And two he buys
Speaker 1: things that he doesn't need and then regrets it later. Okay,
Speaker 1: I wonder how long later, Because if you start using Amazon,
Speaker 1: you can always like, you know, you got a little
Speaker 1: window of the time you can just hit refund and
Speaker 1: return that thing. It's like okay, or you can just
Speaker 1: ship it back, you know. But hey, I am encouraged
Speaker 1: by this guy. I mean, he is I can tend
Speaker 1: to have this like negative perception of the next generation.
Speaker 1: But we have a lot of teenagers that write in
Speaker 1: and they're all hard working. Yeah, and they'll do they'll
Speaker 1: do a lot of the stuff that most folks don't
Speaker 1: want to do, and they'll get jobs and they'll work
Speaker 1: full time too. I'm doing this. I'm It's like, man,
Speaker 1: that's that part's encouraging. You just got to use that
Speaker 1: energy towards something else besides trying to you know, fulfill
Speaker 1: your material. Yeah, he says he's about to start college
Speaker 1: to be a heavy diesel mechanic. That's a great job.
Speaker 1: That job is very plentiful to get a job like that.
Speaker 1: They're in high demand. There's so much trucks, so many
Speaker 1: trucks on the road, so many diesel engines on the road,
Speaker 1: or or generators or what you're you're just going to
Speaker 1: be in a high demand position. So you're eighteen, we
Speaker 1: could almost say the same thing as we said to Victor.
Speaker 1: The great thing, man, The great thing, Nick is you
Speaker 1: can't afford to make mistakes. Now, see that, Victor. Here's
Speaker 1: a good example. Nick. He's having financial struggles, but in
Speaker 1: the end he's eighteen, and it's okay. When this is
Speaker 1: when these kind of mistakes. This kind of exploration financially
Speaker 1: is okay. Like I bought this stupid thing that I
Speaker 1: thought was cool, and now I regret spending one hundred
Speaker 1: and thirty four dollars on this and I don't even
Speaker 1: really use it. Okay, cool, learn from that because you
Speaker 1: don't have a wife and kids yet that depend on
Speaker 1: you to make those decisions right. So there's a lot
Speaker 1: of positive here. And it's a good example for Victor
Speaker 1: because Victor was looking at getting married at the same
Speaker 1: age that Nick is now and Nick is struggling, and man, Nick,
Speaker 1: you're struggling rightly. Because I was eighteen. I wasn't an idiot.
Speaker 1: I was idiot eighteen year old. I always think of
Speaker 1: this in my teenage years. I think in terms of
Speaker 1: I had blinders like a like a horse, Like I
Speaker 1: had those horse blinders where all I saw was just
Speaker 1: the next step ahead of me. I didn't see anything
Speaker 1: to the right or left or up or down, and
Speaker 1: I didn't see the world going on around me. I
Speaker 1: was hard headed, hard to learn, hard to improve because
Speaker 1: I had these blinders on. And I think I think
Speaker 1: that's actually part of the brain development, Like there's yeah,
Speaker 1: there's yeah, there's doctors that will say, yeah, your brain's
Speaker 1: not fully developed. Yeah, those frontal lobes are not connected yet. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Scares the crap out of me for my kids growing up.
Speaker 1: Like right, So that's when I want to relate to spec,
Speaker 1: to Victor and just say, look Victory, look at Nick.
Speaker 1: You know, here's the question right here. Man making some
Speaker 1: making some mistakes that are okay. These these are not
Speaker 1: devastating things, and you're asking the right questions. Like Bernie said,
Speaker 1: you're learning. Just like Bernie said, I don't think you're
Speaker 1: leaning into the Lord like you say that you are.
Speaker 1: I always look to the Lord, and that'll never change.
Speaker 1: I don't see the fruits of that in your question.
Speaker 1: I don't see I don't see very much evidence of
Speaker 1: a of giving your life to a savior the way
Speaker 1: that you think you might be. Right did I at eighteen? No,
Speaker 1: So dude, you're not in You're not in a different
Speaker 1: boat than I ever was in. But I just want
Speaker 1: to point that out that you can't add that sentence
Speaker 1: unless you can have some fruits of that and go,
Speaker 1: I've given, I give. I look to the Lord like
Speaker 1: you said, I look to the Lord. And here's evidence
Speaker 1: of looking to him, here's the evidence of it. Here's
Speaker 1: what's what's the evidence peace, hope and joy M hmcause
Speaker 1: that's you should immediately be able to say, I see evidence,
Speaker 1: maybe not fully fulfilled, but I see evidence slivers maybe
Speaker 1: of peace, hope and joy in my life. But the
Speaker 1: next thing you said was I can't find happiness. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and let me just tell you that, no matter how
Speaker 1: much money you do end up making as a diesel
Speaker 1: mechanic or the CEO of some big company, like material
Speaker 1: things are never going to fill you the way that
Speaker 1: you're thinking it will boom, and it's just not going
Speaker 1: to do it. So don't you know, there's a ton
Speaker 1: of people in history, me included probably Grange or two
Speaker 1: that have you know, we've chased that and thought that
Speaker 1: it could do it. It can't. Don't do it. If
Speaker 1: any advice you listen to, just don't chase that materialistic Hey,
Speaker 1: if I just had more money, I could buy this
Speaker 1: thing and it would make me happy. It's not going
Speaker 1: to happen. Okay. The price tag of what you want
Speaker 1: always goes up relative to what you're making at the time.
Speaker 1: That's right. Always, that's right. So if you think one
Speaker 1: hundred and thirty four dollars. My example earlier is a
Speaker 1: lot right now that's going to be seven hundred and
Speaker 1: thirty four dollars five years down the road, and then
Speaker 1: it's going to be thirteen hundred and forty five dollars
Speaker 1: down the road. And then you're going to look at
Speaker 1: something that's thirteen thousand, and then you're gonna go this
Speaker 1: is crazy. It's thirteen thousand, and then you're going to
Speaker 1: be buying a house, and then it's just ungodly amount
Speaker 1: of money that you're spending here. It doesn't change, it's
Speaker 1: relative to what you make if you don't fix the
Speaker 1: problem that its source. Yep. And one of the problems
Speaker 1: we see here is you're looking to others, and we
Speaker 1: know from human experience that never works. You could, it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. You could look at me and go, oh,
Speaker 1: he's he's a singer and he has he's had mild
Speaker 1: success in music, so now he could just do whatever
Speaker 1: he wants. You think, I don't look and go Justin
Speaker 1: Timberlake man is crushing it. You think Justin Timberlake doesn't
Speaker 1: go man, Elvis just had it, man, he had guys
Speaker 1: it Never there's never a cap to it. And guess
Speaker 1: what happened to Elvis died because of this, Yeah, he died.
Speaker 1: He died because because material things never fulfilled his happiness
Speaker 1: that he thought they would. So it's a dangerous circle, man,
Speaker 1: it's a dangerous circle. And it's just self discipline. Given
Speaker 1: it to the Lord. Like you said, look to the
Speaker 1: Lord and say, God, I'm one with this. I'm giving
Speaker 1: it to you. And you could give any struggle fill
Speaker 1: in the blank of your struggle, God, I'm giving it
Speaker 1: to you. Yeah. I feel like this what was this
Speaker 1: guy's name again, Nick? Nick? I feel like Nick may
Speaker 1: have this backwards by his like he kind of, you know,
Speaker 1: in a secondary kind of way, slips in. I looked
Speaker 1: at the Lord and everything. I was just talking with
Speaker 1: a buddy of mine who is going through a really
Speaker 1: tough season, and he was saying all of these things,
Speaker 1: and he's like, and I know that these things are
Speaker 1: affecting my walk with God. And then I said, well,
Speaker 1: hold on a second, man, I feel like your walk
Speaker 1: with God right now may actually be affecting those things.
Speaker 1: That's not a secondary thing. You looking to the Lord
Speaker 1: is not a secondary thing. That is what is affecting
Speaker 1: your lack of happiness, that is what is affecting your situation.
Speaker 1: Your lack of looking to God is what is causing
Speaker 1: a lot of these issues, the discontentment and the need.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to feel this. It's like, if we believe
Speaker 1: in our belief system that if you are truly looking
Speaker 1: to God in all things and looking to glorify Him
Speaker 1: with your life, not just with the small little parts here,
Speaker 1: every square inch of it, you're like, have it that
Speaker 1: You're not going to have these overwhelming desires for the
Speaker 1: material things. It's just not going to be there. Like,
Speaker 1: and if they do come, it's a flash in the
Speaker 1: pan that you put out really quickly with your grace
Speaker 1: is sufficient. God, You are all I need, Like, provide
Speaker 1: what I need. Give me this day my daily bread,
Speaker 1: not the bread for the next hundred years, and not
Speaker 1: a big house to put it in. Just give him
Speaker 1: my daily bread. That's it. That's good. That's good. Moving on.
Speaker 1: There's nothing else could be said about that question. That's great, Nick, Okay,
Speaker 1: here's one says it's very one says, hey, Granger, I
Speaker 1: wear a mask to school and I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I also want to quit school. Quit school. Did you
Speaker 1: read that, No, read this. I have a mask I
Speaker 1: have I wear. I have to wear a mask to school,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to. I also want to quit school.
Speaker 1: I also want to quit school too. Well, first of all,
Speaker 1: we need to stay in school. Based on like elevated
Speaker 1: with just two questions. It just like elevate it all
Speaker 1: the way to the end. Yeah, this is this is
Speaker 1: It comes from Aaron. Don't know how old he is,
Speaker 1: don't know where he is, but yeah, where you want
Speaker 1: to go with me? I feel like we could go
Speaker 1: a lot of different directions with this one. Hey, Aaron,
Speaker 1: shut up, stay in school. Yeah, by the grammar in
Speaker 1: your email too, you need to be in school, bro.
Speaker 1: So hey, we try, we try so hard to to
Speaker 1: reveal our full heart in this podcast, and we try
Speaker 1: to in an ultimately an offended world, an easily offended world.
Speaker 1: We try not to offend, but there's a limit to
Speaker 1: what we could say that inhibits us to get to
Speaker 1: the truth. And sometimes, Aaron, you need to hear the truth, dude,
Speaker 1: Suck it up. Stay in school. Yeah, absolutely, you know
Speaker 1: that school is good for you and it's beneficial. Right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So let's talk about or let's relate it to like
Speaker 1: cold showers. You know, I take cold showers. Okay, I
Speaker 1: could say the same thing as your email. I have
Speaker 1: to take cold showers and I don't want to. That
Speaker 1: is true in order to, you know, feel this benefit
Speaker 1: that I the thing that I feel is beneficial. I
Speaker 1: have to take cold showers and I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I also want to quit taking cold showers. That is true.
Speaker 1: But you're not going to gain the benefit. It's not
Speaker 1: the best thing that you feel like you. I mean,
Speaker 1: you have to make the decision. You want to quit school,
Speaker 1: quit school, but it's not the most healthy, beneficial decision
Speaker 1: in your life at this point. Let me say something
Speaker 1: that's the reason. Let me say something that's super unpopular.
Speaker 1: But I'm speaking to young people. Listen, listen to me,
Speaker 1: young people. And if you ever want to be a leader,
Speaker 1: if you want to change society, if you want to
Speaker 1: break the norm of culture, first you need to learn
Speaker 1: to follow culture and conform to it. You have to
Speaker 1: conform and be part of culture and be identical to
Speaker 1: everyone around you. If you ever want to break out
Speaker 1: and be a leader of it and change it, guys,
Speaker 1: that's a human fact. It's like you're saying you got
Speaker 1: to under you got to understand, yes, the current, before
Speaker 1: you really know how to swim up straight. It's the old.
Speaker 1: If you want to be a leader, you first have
Speaker 1: to learn to follow ye and you can't. There is
Speaker 1: no leadership without being a follower first. It doesn't happen.
Speaker 1: Think of the military terms. When when I went to
Speaker 1: the Core at Texas A and M, for example, it's
Speaker 1: what I know. As freshmen. The first thing we did
Speaker 1: is we got a buzz cut. We had to throw
Speaker 1: away or pack away and send off any clothes that
Speaker 1: we had that didn't look the same as everyone else.
Speaker 1: We had to wear a uniform that was identical. No
Speaker 1: one got anything special. No one got any different shoelaces
Speaker 1: or different watch, our different belt. Everyone looks the same
Speaker 1: because it's the Core at A and M is a
Speaker 1: leadership program, just like the military, where they know that
Speaker 1: in Navy seal training whatever, they break you down to
Speaker 1: the core human. First, they get rid of any human
Speaker 1: identity that you might have and they conform you to
Speaker 1: the people around you. Then as you grow and you learn,
Speaker 1: you're able to take on what you've learned from that
Speaker 1: conformity and break out from it. And lead people out
Speaker 1: of it. What's my point, Aaron, wear the mask? Why?
Speaker 1: Because it's the rule. I don't care what you think
Speaker 1: that it's gonna You were going to change the world
Speaker 1: by being the one at sixteen years old, guessing your
Speaker 1: age that steps out and says, I don't wear a
Speaker 1: mask because I'm going to change the world. No one
Speaker 1: will believe you because you're not believable yet. That's good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: wearing the mask is the standard you've talked about. I
Speaker 1: think you and Parker may have talked about this in
Speaker 1: the last one, Like wearing the mask right now at
Speaker 1: your school is the standard. Your feeling is that you
Speaker 1: don't like it, and so if the standard goes against
Speaker 1: how I feel, then I'm just not gonna My action
Speaker 1: is going to be based on my feelings, which you
Speaker 1: guys did a great job. Go back and listen to
Speaker 1: that podcast on kind of like encouraging people. Don't you
Speaker 1: can't trust your feeling, you can't be led by feeling.
Speaker 1: This is the standard, do the hard things. And if
Speaker 1: we're speaking to that generation, I don't think it's this
Speaker 1: next you know, like the gen z or malinia. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's just I think this has been for history.
Speaker 1: They call them hard things because they're hard, like they're
Speaker 1: hard to do. But do the hard things. They're so
Speaker 1: beneficial for you. Yeah, man, that's so good. Don't take
Speaker 1: these statements out of context from me and Bernie. We're
Speaker 1: not talking about the old congressman, or the old senator,
Speaker 1: or the old the old man down the street that's
Speaker 1: been through everything. I'm talking to you, Aaron. In school
Speaker 1: right now, you're still learning conformity and that that word
Speaker 1: is so unpopular right now. But if they tell you
Speaker 1: to wear a purple hat because that's the rules to
Speaker 1: stay in school, follow the rules until you're out of school. Yeah,
Speaker 1: then you'll be a leader one day. Then you'll be
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Speaker 1: I just thought about something on that last question. One
Speaker 1: last thing I said, don't take it out of context.
Speaker 1: One more thing to not take out of context is
Speaker 1: we're not talking about morality or a moral code or
Speaker 1: the Ten Commandments. You know what I mean. If you're
Speaker 1: told as a kid to murder someone and that goes
Speaker 1: against your moral code, which hopefully it does, you don't
Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, but that's not what we're talking about.
Speaker 1: That's okay. I just had to be totally clear and
Speaker 1: just in case anyone goes, what if they tell you
Speaker 1: to kill somebody were supposed to conform. Yeah, maybe that
Speaker 1: is just the double edged sort of living in this generation,
Speaker 1: the digital age as we live in, kind of these
Speaker 1: soundbites that can be so taken out of context and
Speaker 1: it's like there's nothing you can do. Man. Yeah, we're
Speaker 1: not talking about morality. We're talking about clothing. Yeah, it's okay,
Speaker 1: we want to go there. If they tell you to
Speaker 1: dress like a girl on purpose, that's technically going against
Speaker 1: your ethics also, right, So it's not totally clothing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there may be some time where the thing that you're
Speaker 1: a part of is something that you just have to leave, right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But in this context, we're assuming that the school that
Speaker 1: they are going to is where their parents have sent them,
Speaker 1: that this is a good choice, and this is more
Speaker 1: just like immature rebellion, like I don't want to do that,
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna quit. I'm gonna take my ball and
Speaker 1: go home kind of things like here's a total switch
Speaker 1: gear here. Do you believe there's someone for everyone? Hey, Granger,
Speaker 1: this isn't something I talk about much, but it crosses
Speaker 1: my mind a lot. Do you believe that there's someone
Speaker 1: for everyone in this world? Genuinely curious on your thoughts
Speaker 1: because I've always thought I've always thought so, but the
Speaker 1: older I get, the more that that thought changes for me.
Speaker 1: Relationships don't come easy for me. It's been thirteen years
Speaker 1: since I've been in a relationship. I've adapted to being alone,
Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to be with
Speaker 1: someone to share my life with. It's also been so
Speaker 1: long because for most of my life, I felt that
Speaker 1: I couldn't be who I really was with my family
Speaker 1: and didn't have to didn't have the courage to come
Speaker 1: out to my family until five years ago. I'm almost
Speaker 1: thirty three and beginning to feel as if there was
Speaker 1: no one out there for me. Thanks for taking time
Speaker 1: to answer Sarah from Ohio that she's talking about she's homosexual.
Speaker 1: I read that little part one with sound because yes,
Speaker 1: I don't think that's her question. But she may be gay,
Speaker 1: may say it's been it's been so long because most
Speaker 1: of my life I felt like I couldn't be who
Speaker 1: I really was with my family, didn't have the courage
Speaker 1: to come out to my family to find I think, Okay,
Speaker 1: so yeah, but I don't think that's her that's her question.
Speaker 1: The questionly is is there's somebody for everybody. My immediate
Speaker 1: answer to you, Sarah is no, I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: think that that that there's like this cosmic mystic idea
Speaker 1: that there's one person on the globe and then there's
Speaker 1: another person and they're just like there's some like karma
Speaker 1: that just draws them together magically, and if you miss
Speaker 1: that chance, you're never gonna see that person. So that
Speaker 1: answer is no. We said this earlier, or maybe we
Speaker 1: said it on another podcast, that love is a decision
Speaker 1: and you you're you, You base it on your capatibility
Speaker 1: and you you measure them and how they measure up
Speaker 1: to your life, and when it's a match, you make
Speaker 1: the decision go all in, let's love. Yeah. I think
Speaker 1: in a culture that is that idolizes and puts relationships
Speaker 1: on a pedestal like marriage and companionship, that that is
Speaker 1: the goal. So that can very much make people feel like, well,
Speaker 1: if I don't have someone, then I'm not I'm not
Speaker 1: reaching the goal. I'm not doing what the culture tells
Speaker 1: me is the most important thing. Totally. But I don't
Speaker 1: think that's right. I mean mean, Jesus wasn't married, Paul
Speaker 1: wasn't married. There's I mean people throughout history that you
Speaker 1: can think they just had a different goal called to singleness.
Speaker 1: They had a different goal in mind, and so I
Speaker 1: think that you probably have to just consider what's your goal.
Speaker 1: I don't I agree with Griz, like just on a
Speaker 1: basic level, there's I don't think that there's like the
Speaker 1: one out there for everybody. I think that there's a
Speaker 1: lot of folks that will live a single life their
Speaker 1: entire life, and they can be extremely joyful in that. Yeah, totally. So,
Speaker 1: I mean, let's speak in a couple more things. She said.
Speaker 1: In the back half of this email, she said she's
Speaker 1: adapted to being alone. I just want to say this.
Speaker 1: I want to speak to everyone that might be in
Speaker 1: the situation. First of all, Sarah, props to you for
Speaker 1: adapting to be alone, because we get a lot of
Speaker 1: emails that's say the opposite, like I can't I just
Speaker 1: can't be alone. I don't know what to do. So
Speaker 1: you've learned it. I saw this is where i'mna speak
Speaker 1: to everyone. I saw a long long time ago on TV.
Speaker 1: I think it was that remember that TV show Bonanza,
Speaker 1: like that old Western show. Yea. I remember there was
Speaker 1: this one random scene. It just like burned into my brain.
Speaker 1: But they go up to visit this old man on
Speaker 1: that's lived in a little cabin on a mountain, and
Speaker 1: one of the guys told the old man, They said, man,
Speaker 1: you live here, it must be really lonely. And the
Speaker 1: old man boom burned in my mind. He looked right
Speaker 1: at him and he goes, it's better to be lonely
Speaker 1: alone than lonely with somebody else. Like, apply that to
Speaker 1: our lives all across the board. It's better to be
Speaker 1: lonely alone than lonely with somebody else. So I'm speaking
Speaker 1: to you, Sarah, that's really yourd You've adapted to be
Speaker 1: an alone, but that doesn't mean that it's going to
Speaker 1: be better just because you're with somebody. I also want
Speaker 1: to speak to this part about I couldn't be who
Speaker 1: I was around my family. That's I hate. I hate
Speaker 1: that that. I hate that that anyone that anyone just
Speaker 1: can't no matter, no matter the situation, that you're not
Speaker 1: allowed to be upfront, be honest, because things could get
Speaker 1: fixed and kicked up. And I was thinking about this. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go deep for a second. Yesterday was super
Speaker 1: windy in Austin, Texas, crazy windy, and I was thinking
Speaker 1: about how God made the world and and all the
Speaker 1: systems of the world and how perfect it all is.
Speaker 1: And I was thinking, what would happen if there was
Speaker 1: no wind? I g If it didn't exist because it
Speaker 1: was never part of creation, the world would probably end.
Speaker 1: I think. I'm not a scientist, but I think the
Speaker 1: world would not survive without wind. It carries seeds across oceans,
Speaker 1: It fertilizes fields, it moves its clouds, clouds, rain flocks
Speaker 1: of birds. So much of the of the TikTok of
Speaker 1: the world is conformed by wind. And and it wind
Speaker 1: also just knocks the dead stuff loose, like trees. They
Speaker 1: couldn't survive without the wind, just knocking all that dead
Speaker 1: leaves and branches and all the plants, and it just
Speaker 1: kicks it around and breaks it loose and separates the
Speaker 1: dead stuff. And that's what That's what being honest with
Speaker 1: your family does too. Nothing is going to ever change
Speaker 1: the dead stuff, and things aren't going to get fixed
Speaker 1: or are helped at all if it just there's no wind.
Speaker 1: A silent man that's so good, that is really really good.
Speaker 1: Do you make that up? Yeah? I actually did. Thank
Speaker 1: you for emailing. You should be a public speaker or
Speaker 1: write a book or something like that. Burns you want
Speaker 1: to go to New Baby Advice. Termination from Jobs, Girl
Speaker 1: Help and Faith, Extreme sexual Curriculum in school by h. Griz.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go where you take us, brouh, go where
Speaker 1: you take us, man. This is the Granger Smith podcast,
Speaker 1: not the Bernie Big I think, just to change subjects completely,
Speaker 1: let's go to New Baby Advice. Okay, hey, Granger and
Speaker 1: I would have picked the sex one, so it's probably better. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: we can still do that. I currently have a two
Speaker 1: and a half year old daughter and a seven week
Speaker 1: old son at I want to bond with my son
Speaker 1: and grow a relationship, but I feel bad about taking
Speaker 1: time away from my daughter when she may not understand
Speaker 1: why I'm taking time away from her to hang out
Speaker 1: with my son. Working Monday through Friday in the normal
Speaker 1: adult chores on the weekend don't help the free time
Speaker 1: I have to split my time between both kids and
Speaker 1: my wife. Any advice on how to bond with my
Speaker 1: new son without feeling like I'm the weakened that I'm
Speaker 1: wakening in the relationship with my daughter. Thanks so much
Speaker 1: for the advice, Tyler from Ohio. He said, this podcast
Speaker 1: has pushed me to get a Bible and start to
Speaker 1: read it every morning, So thank you for that. That's awesome. Man, Man,
Speaker 1: it's a good question, and I feel for Tyler. I
Speaker 1: feel this. But man, the fact that he's asking it
Speaker 1: means that he's not going to do any wrong here, right, Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Can we assume that mom is in the picture or
Speaker 1: not in the picture from what he's saying. Yeah, because yeah,
Speaker 1: he says, I don't want to split the time between
Speaker 1: my kids, both my kids and my wife. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that that's just a natural part of life.
Speaker 1: Would would you agree that you as you add another
Speaker 1: member to the family, your time and your attention just
Speaker 1: has to be divided. Yeah, there's no there's no way
Speaker 1: that you can give equal one hundred percent percent hundred
Speaker 1: percent like you just can't. So you you just you're
Speaker 1: doing the right thing. You're asking the right questions. You're
Speaker 1: you're digging into the word, which is awesome. It's going
Speaker 1: to help guide your you know, ability to discern like
Speaker 1: what they need and how to serve your wife and
Speaker 1: how to lead your family. But I think you're just
Speaker 1: going to have to feel it out and and and
Speaker 1: be aware of man, am I being really selfish with
Speaker 1: my time? Because I said on the podcast that I
Speaker 1: didn't want to like neglect the time here and here,
Speaker 1: but really fifty percent of my time's going to myself. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then I got little time here, a little time there.
Speaker 1: Start to just examine those things, and I think you'll
Speaker 1: I think you'll be okay. We've both been through that
Speaker 1: struggle of the new baby, right, I mean, Griz, you're
Speaker 1: in it right now. Yeah, new baby yep. And so
Speaker 1: so let's just go practically speaking, because I've already said
Speaker 1: Tyler that I think you can't go wrong because you're
Speaker 1: a dad that cares enough to ask this podcast that
Speaker 1: says something. You're aware of that there's something going on here.
Speaker 1: But let's just go practically speaking. You know, Boom, first,
Speaker 1: don't neglect your wife. She's first, Make her first, Make
Speaker 1: her more important than both kids. Your kids are very important,
Speaker 1: so she better be very very important, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. She's got to be really high, So don't
Speaker 1: neglect her, and don't don't split your free time more
Speaker 1: to them and less to your wife. That's gonna hurt
Speaker 1: you in the long run and real quick. Because that also,
Speaker 1: I think we forget that that ministers to our kids,
Speaker 1: Like our relationship with our wife is our number one
Speaker 1: ministry period we think like even guys that are in
Speaker 1: full time ministry pastors or our work is our ministry.
Speaker 1: It's like the way that we serve and speak to
Speaker 1: and treat our wives is our number one ministry. That
Speaker 1: people will look at and say, wow, that represents the
Speaker 1: gospel or man, that's yea. I don't. I'm so confused
Speaker 1: how he can speak about you know, Jesus loving the
Speaker 1: church as his bride, and but yet he treats his pride.
Speaker 1: That's so confusing. It's like, no, that's our number one thing,
Speaker 1: and ad ministers to our kids too, So yeah, it
Speaker 1: has to be first. The next step. Just practically speaking,
Speaker 1: right now, Tyler, your son, there's not much bonding you
Speaker 1: could do with it. There's way more bonding you could
Speaker 1: do with a two and a half year old daughter
Speaker 1: right now than you can with your son. Once again,
Speaker 1: Bernie and I are assuming a normal situation your family.
Speaker 1: You have the family nucleus, that's your wife is not divorced.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I think he's with her anyway. If
Speaker 1: that's the case, the baby needs mommy right now more
Speaker 1: than you. It doesn't mean that you can't help her
Speaker 1: out and take her out of your hands, but he's
Speaker 1: really more I'm speaking from my own experience right now,
Speaker 1: he's more of a household chore right now than your son. Really,
Speaker 1: he will be very soon, But I think, once again,
Speaker 1: practically speaking the daughter, you could speak more fatherhood into
Speaker 1: her right now as a two and a half year
Speaker 1: old daddy daughter dates, ice cream dates, get in the car,
Speaker 1: go to the park dates, which will also help leave
Speaker 1: the pressure from your wife and the house a little
Speaker 1: bit so she could get some stuff done with the baby.
Speaker 1: And you're constantly going fishing or to the park, to
Speaker 1: the swing set, to the ice cream shop. I think
Speaker 1: those kind that bonding will pay back dividends in y'all's
Speaker 1: relationship now more than a seven week year old son
Speaker 1: who is closer to an alien than a human. No,
Speaker 1: you're right, and hopefully you're tyler. You're having these conversations
Speaker 1: with your wife, that's number one. Like, hey, babe, I'm
Speaker 1: kind of feeling torn, like I'm not able to bond
Speaker 1: and like maybe you guys work out a system and
Speaker 1: maybe she feels the same about the two and a
Speaker 1: half year old man, I'm just doing this baby stuff.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I get time with the daughter
Speaker 1: and so communication is going to be really important too.
Speaker 1: They don't get on the same page. Yeah, don't a plan.
Speaker 1: Don't take me out of context. I'm not saying don't
Speaker 1: bond with your son and don't hang The bonding you
Speaker 1: do with your son, though, is one sided your side.
Speaker 1: You're bonding with him, he could care less. Yep, not
Speaker 1: there yet, Not there. But the two n half yeal
Speaker 1: girl she is and she loves ice cream? Yep. Okay,
Speaker 1: do you wanted to go to the sex one? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Why not? Hey, Granger and guest, I'm from North Carolina.
Speaker 1: I've been seeing in the news lately a lot about
Speaker 1: curriculum in school, specifically the literature that they are required
Speaker 1: to read. Some of those books are extremely sexual and perverse.
Speaker 1: My own daughter has had to read a book in
Speaker 1: high school that depicted incest and rape. My question to
Speaker 1: y'all is what is your opinion on the curriculum in
Speaker 1: school and do you think our kids are being overly
Speaker 1: sexualized by just about everything i e. Social media, school, internet, parents, etc.
Speaker 1: I have a problem with the way things are going
Speaker 1: in the world. Thank you for your time, keep up
Speaker 1: the good work and all that you do. This is
Speaker 1: Christy from North Carolina. Man. I was literally thinking about
Speaker 1: this on my drive up here. I was literally thinking
Speaker 1: about a question like this because I know that this
Speaker 1: stuff is happening, and parents are they're seeing these things,
Speaker 1: they're responding this way, and so guys, again, I don't
Speaker 1: know if this is right. This is just my thought.
Speaker 1: Me and Grange with you sitting around a campfire, just
Speaker 1: kind of spitballing, right. I feel like as parents we
Speaker 1: can tend to want to prepare the path for our
Speaker 1: kids instead of preparing our kids for the path. Right,
Speaker 1: you've heard that before, right, so in this situation, but
Speaker 1: I feel like what that can do is it can
Speaker 1: manifest itself to I don't know enough about the subject
Speaker 1: and the information, and this could be about faith, this
Speaker 1: could be about you know, politics, this could be about
Speaker 1: I'm not willing to take the time because everybody's busy.
Speaker 1: I'm not willing to take the time to actually think
Speaker 1: about what I believe about this situation and what's being
Speaker 1: taught I'm not taking the time to formulate an opinion
Speaker 1: that is founded in truth so that I can have
Speaker 1: a conversation with them about what is being seen and
Speaker 1: what we believe in what is true. So therefore I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna say, well, that's bad. I don't want to
Speaker 1: put that in front of them because then they're gonna
Speaker 1: ask me, and I don't know what to say. It's
Speaker 1: self preservation. I don't think you've ever been this excited
Speaker 1: about a question every podcast you've been on. This is
Speaker 1: the loudest your voices ever gotten. I know. I don't
Speaker 1: know why. I'm sorry, guys, I just fired up. I
Speaker 1: think it is because there is this, you know, and
Speaker 1: they hit on social media and media in general and
Speaker 1: digital age and everything. It is we are becoming less
Speaker 1: and less about thinking and that, yes, I am passionate
Speaker 1: about that, because we are becoming more and more feeling
Speaker 1: based and less like, Okay, I'm gonna just take a
Speaker 1: walk and think, I'm gonna give my mind space. We
Speaker 1: don't do that. We cram it in with every possible
Speaker 1: moment filled with some kind of entertainment. We're not consuming
Speaker 1: or we're not producing any real thoughts. We're just consuming
Speaker 1: thoughts and ideas of others, and then we're letting that
Speaker 1: kind of like mold us into like parents that just
Speaker 1: want to prepare the path for our kids so they
Speaker 1: don't have to face anything and ask us about it.
Speaker 1: I'm off the soapbox, guys. I'm sorry. I could attest.
Speaker 1: What Bernie's saying is not a new idea from him.
Speaker 1: You've been saying this for years and years and years,
Speaker 1: and I could remember it was probably six years ago.
Speaker 1: I remember you going off about this subject about Boston,
Speaker 1: your son, and how you were trying to teach him
Speaker 1: to contribute to the world more than he's taking from it.
Speaker 1: Remember that, And this is a long time ago because
Speaker 1: he how old is he now, like eleven eleven? This
Speaker 1: is probably six seven, eight years ago when he was
Speaker 1: pretty young, and you were just you were just like
Speaker 1: really hyped up about this. I'm trying to teach this
Speaker 1: kid to contribute to this world more than he takes
Speaker 1: from it, and you are. What you're hitting on is
Speaker 1: basically the idea of preparing your kid for the world
Speaker 1: versus protecting your kid from the world. And we have learned,
Speaker 1: first of all, it's impossible to protect your kid from
Speaker 1: the world. It's impossible, but it is very possible to
Speaker 1: prepare them for it. If you don't teach them something
Speaker 1: anything I'm talking it could be sex education, or it
Speaker 1: could be throwing the baseball. If you don't teach them,
Speaker 1: somebody will. Who would you rather it be? You? Are
Speaker 1: somebody else that you don't know yet. So we need
Speaker 1: to stop relying on outside sources to tea to teach
Speaker 1: our kids. Anything that's important to us needs to first
Speaker 1: come from us. And if you if you don't discipline,
Speaker 1: we could say the same thing about discipline. If you
Speaker 1: don't discipline your kids because you don't believe in discipline,
Speaker 1: or you're you think it's too mean, or whatever reason,
Speaker 1: somebody in this world will instead of you. So I
Speaker 1: ask again, who would you rather discipline your kid? You
Speaker 1: or somebody else? Because it's going to happen either way,
Speaker 1: and I'm not talking about doesn't necessarily have to be spanking.
Speaker 1: It could be a police officer is going to arrest them.
Speaker 1: That's discipline in some way. So if you don't, somebody will.
Speaker 1: So this is this pattern. Christy, you have a great heart.
Speaker 1: I know you do, and you care about your kids,
Speaker 1: and I love this question. I love your email. So
Speaker 1: this is nothing on you, as we're just generalizing the
Speaker 1: idea that we have to prepare our kids and stop
Speaker 1: trying to protect them because we can't. It's going to
Speaker 1: break loose somehow. They're going to learn. They're going to
Speaker 1: see what were you talking about rape? And what did
Speaker 1: you say incess rape? Yeah, your kids are gonna see.
Speaker 1: Your daughter is going to see it, whether the school
Speaker 1: shows it to them or not. So you want to
Speaker 1: prepare them. Hey, she's in high school. This is a
Speaker 1: this is prime time to talk about it. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's uncomfortable and sometimes I've heard it put in this way.
Speaker 1: If you want to talk about something uncomfortable with your kids,
Speaker 1: put them in a situation where you don't have to
Speaker 1: look at each other. Oh yeah, like not at a
Speaker 1: table where you're looking. Instead, be on the front porch
Speaker 1: and you're both looking out. Driving in the car, driving
Speaker 1: in the car, driving in the car, great example that way,
Speaker 1: there's no uncomfortable eye contact. You're driving is a great example.
Speaker 1: You're driving and you say, hey, I want to talk
Speaker 1: to you about something that's uncomfortable. But it's it happens,
Speaker 1: and you're old enough you could understand it and it's
Speaker 1: rape or it's incests. Yeah, and if your kid is
Speaker 1: in high school, I would. And this is this is
Speaker 1: to all parents, and this is to us, and and
Speaker 1: we're in this struggle, guys with you, and we're trying
Speaker 1: to encourage each other, all of us to do this. Don't. Don't,
Speaker 1: if at all possible, wait till they're in high school
Speaker 1: to start building these channels that you can connect with
Speaker 1: your kid on these things. If you start having the
Speaker 1: conversations in high school, I feel like the window of
Speaker 1: that trust a lot of that has already passed. So
Speaker 1: but don't. If they're in high school and you have
Speaker 1: done it, start just go ahead and start. Don't don't
Speaker 1: quit or you know, don't just give up, like try
Speaker 1: to engage in the conversations. But as early as possible, first,
Speaker 1: talk to your significant other, talk to your husband, talk
Speaker 1: to your wife whomever, about Hey, when do we have
Speaker 1: this conversation when you know, Boston just went to middle
Speaker 1: started middle school, so we before he started, we have
Speaker 1: some conversations that were pretty uncomfortable. But it was I
Speaker 1: was shocked with like the answers he would just answer,
Speaker 1: and he was like, well, what about this, Well, what
Speaker 1: about this? I'm like, yeah, dude, like, come on, this
Speaker 1: is so uncomfortable. Let's talk about it. Start as early
Speaker 1: as you can so that when they are, you know,
Speaker 1: getting older, it becomes a little more natural. But be
Speaker 1: on the same page with your spouse about because there
Speaker 1: are certain things where it's like, if I, you know,
Speaker 1: showed pictures of rape to my son right now, I
Speaker 1: don't if I can. There there is a time that
Speaker 1: we can kind of protect them from certain things until
Speaker 1: their minds are at a place where it's like, Okay, hey,
Speaker 1: we feel like you're gonna start getting exposed to this
Speaker 1: and so we need we need to talk about that.
Speaker 1: So we're not saying, just like your toddler, sharks start
Speaker 1: showing them these pictures. That's not what we're advocating. But
Speaker 1: it's more of the open the channels of the relationship.
Speaker 1: You you really want to get there, Put your phone down,
Speaker 1: for the love of God, put your phone down. Put
Speaker 1: their phone down, Okay, be present with them. That's how
Speaker 1: these conversations are really going to happen. That's how you're
Speaker 1: gonna understand what they're thinking and to read their body
Speaker 1: language because they're they're why you And if you're on
Speaker 1: your phone, then they're gonna want to be on their phone,
Speaker 1: and who knows, you know what they're going to be
Speaker 1: looking at and what they're exposed to like, and you're
Speaker 1: you don't have long to have those conversations, guys, so
Speaker 1: just try I'm doing it myself, like, just try to
Speaker 1: be present with them and try to engage in some
Speaker 1: of these conversations and make them strong. This is making
Speaker 1: them stronger and prepared, preparing, preparing, not protecting. That's so good, Burns,
Speaker 1: and so Christy, be the be the person to your
Speaker 1: daughter that she could bounce off all ideas too, so
Speaker 1: she you are her source of truth right now, until
Speaker 1: she's old enough to have her own source of truth,
Speaker 1: be her bouncing board where she say, Hey, if you
Speaker 1: hear anything strange or interesting or weird, come to me
Speaker 1: and I'll talk you through it and build that trust
Speaker 1: with her where she knows I can even though it's weird.
Speaker 1: Hey mom, let me tell you about what I heard today.
Speaker 1: And then you could speak into her and go, yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember we talked about this a couple of years ago.
Speaker 1: And so this is what they're gonna teach you. Now,
Speaker 1: This is what we believe in our family, and it
Speaker 1: could be that. We could be talking about any subject here,
Speaker 1: but you have to build that trust. Don't ever rely
Speaker 1: on an outside source outside of your family to teach
Speaker 1: your kids anything. First, I'm talking about football, coach, baseball,
Speaker 1: coach volleyball, I'm talking about science. I'm talking about what Okay,
Speaker 1: scept mathematics. Okay, I'm anna pass on math. Teacher could
Speaker 1: teach first math because I'm not as good. But it
Speaker 1: could be about history, I mean anything. We need to
Speaker 1: be able to prepare and stop worrying about protecting Christy.
Speaker 1: I love your heart and I think you're right on.
Speaker 1: And I don't think you're did you're doing this. I
Speaker 1: just think you're just you're being the wind right now
Speaker 1: and you're kicking off some dead branches, which is great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't take them out of the fight. Go into the
Speaker 1: fight with them. That thought, I love that thought. Before
Speaker 1: we get out of here, burns yep, I want to
Speaker 1: give up just a couple shoutouts Lance Osen and I
Speaker 1: want to give him a shout out for being a longtime,
Speaker 1: longtime listener, and shout out to his boys Vin and Bo.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys. So much. Dacota Cagle, thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: Appreciate you so much. Brother Tim Arnold. This is a
Speaker 1: birthday shout so birthday shout out to Tim Arnold. Thank
Speaker 1: you for listening. Amandarina Rainier Mandarin it is. This is
Speaker 1: your birthday shout out. Thank you for listening from New
Speaker 1: Jersey and Rinita McCall, Thank you so much for listening
Speaker 1: from North Carolina and Simon Thorpe. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you guys so much, and thank you everybody
Speaker 1: for listening on all the different platforms that make sure
Speaker 1: you make sure you go and leave a review for
Speaker 1: this podcast so granger can continue world domination. Love you guys, Yege,
Speaker 1: thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate
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