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Speaker 1: We try to in an ultimately an offended world, an

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Speaker 1: easily offended world. We tried not to offend, but there's

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Speaker 1: a limit to what we could say that inhibits us

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Speaker 1: to get to the truth. And sometimes, Aaron, you need

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Speaker 1: to hear the truth, dude, suck it up, stay in school.

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Speaker 1: What's up, guys, Welcome to the podcast. This is episode ten.

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Speaker 1: Seems like we just me and you just did episode

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Speaker 1: one hundred. This is Bernie Calcote, my guest today, and

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Speaker 1: he's been guessed many times, many times. We were just

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Speaker 1: talking before we started recording. We're talking about how this

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Speaker 1: this podcast is really built where it's completely off the cuff,

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Speaker 1: no preparation, no question preparation, no notes, and so we're

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Speaker 1: left to answer on the spot, which is tough, yeah,

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Speaker 1: because you you have to just think of your answer

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Speaker 1: right now, and you can't let you can't sit there

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Speaker 1: and research it or think about it or look at notes.

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Speaker 1: And so that leads to me. Sometimes I'll just be

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Speaker 1: midway through the day of a podcast and several hours

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Speaker 1: later after our record and I'll go, oh, I should

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Speaker 1: have said that. That would have been great, That would

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Speaker 1: have been a way better answer than that was stupid.

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Speaker 1: So that brings up the format of what this podcast is.

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Speaker 1: This podcast we answer your questions you email Granger Smith

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Speaker 1: podcast at gmail dot com. It could be about any subject,

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter what it is. We're going to walk through

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Speaker 1: it as if we are sitting around a campfire, or

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Speaker 1: sitting in a pickup truck, or sitting in a deer stand,

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Speaker 1: you name it, sitting at a cafe having coffee, and

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Speaker 1: we're going to answer the question that you have on

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Speaker 1: your mind as if not as therapist or psychic I

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Speaker 1: trist or preachers or priest, but as your friends wanting

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Speaker 1: to give you the best advice from an open heart

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Speaker 1: that we can give you. That's the format of this podcast.

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Speaker 1: We're not always right, but we're going to tell it

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Speaker 1: to you as if Bernie here a buddy, you're in

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Speaker 1: the group, you're one of the wolf Pack, diamond Dogs.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna bring it to you straight. We ain't gonna

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Speaker 1: sugarcoat it. Yeah, we may be wrong, but we're not

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Speaker 1: gonna be indecisive. Yeah, we're not gonna let too much

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Speaker 1: space go by because it's a podcast and it sounds

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Speaker 1: weird to be quiet. So the first one, the subject

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Speaker 1: line is advice. It says, Hey Granger, I'm sixteen years old.

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Speaker 1: I have a full time job as a farmer. I've

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Speaker 1: got an amazing girlfriend. I live in Mexico, and I

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Speaker 1: want to get married in around a year and a half.

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Speaker 1: I want to make more money than just my salary.

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Speaker 1: What advice would you give me? Parentheses? Getting married is expensive.

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Speaker 1: If you ever go to Mexico, it would be an

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Speaker 1: honor to show you around the beautiful mountains that we

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Speaker 1: have here in Mexico Duringo Nueva idiall thanks. This comes

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Speaker 1: from Victors. Yeah, so Victor. The first thing I would

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Speaker 1: say is an advice is I think seventeen and a

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Speaker 1: half years old is too young to get married. He's sixteen,

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Speaker 1: he's got a great girlfriend. He wants to wait a

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Speaker 1: year now. First of all, he's sixteen. Got a full

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Speaker 1: time job? Is that a thing like these days? I

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Speaker 1: guess if you're like homeschool and then you just work,

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Speaker 1: and maybe it's a different like family. Yeah, you're you're saying,

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Speaker 1: because because where is school in the equation? That's what

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Speaker 1: you're saying. Yeah, yeah, full time job? Maybe he either

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Speaker 1: we're wrong and he didn't mean full time job. He

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Speaker 1: meant he's got he works as max hours as he

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Speaker 1: can with school, or we're wrong, he's not in school

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Speaker 1: at all, and he's got an amazing girl for and congratulations.

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Speaker 1: And he says getting married is expensive relatively speaking. That

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Speaker 1: depends on what your ceremony is. It depends on how

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Speaker 1: you I mean, you could have a cheap wedding at

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Speaker 1: the courthouse or a cheap wedding in your backyard. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what's this what's his name? Victor? All right, Victor, get

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Speaker 1: in here, buddy, we're gonna talk about this. Dude. Love

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Speaker 1: your girl. That's awesome. You got this great girl. Bro,

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Speaker 1: you're sixteen, and so enjoy grizz has said this to

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Speaker 1: you a lot. Enjoy being sixteen. Don't be in such

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Speaker 1: a hurry to kind of like grow up and work

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Speaker 1: and get married. And if if you found this girl,

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Speaker 1: I think that that's great. I think there's some development

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Speaker 1: maybe that still needs to happen and like go through

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Speaker 1: some things. I know. This is kind of like, uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, goes against what we've said before about like

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Speaker 1: don't date for seven years. Yeah, you know, like once

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Speaker 1: you realize that they're the one, But when they're sixteen,

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Speaker 1: it's almost like well, you need to go through some

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Speaker 1: things together. And like you know, but I mean, other

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Speaker 1: people have gotten married seventeen eighteen and they've been fine.

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Speaker 1: So stupid question. But are we dealing with something cultural here?

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe yeah, I don't think so. The world has

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Speaker 1: gone so the world is so similar now, but maybe yeah. Though,

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Speaker 1: But seventeen seventeen and a half still seems still seems

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Speaker 1: really young, Victor. And and you're gonna have the rest

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Speaker 1: of your life. Look at your parents and your grandparents.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna have the rest of your life to be

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Speaker 1: married and to play the role of a husband. But

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Speaker 1: you only have right now to be sixteen and seventeen

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Speaker 1: and eighteen and nineteen. You only have this short, tiny

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Speaker 1: window of life where you are a teenager and you

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Speaker 1: could make mistakes and it's okay because you could recover

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Speaker 1: from a mistake. When you're married, mistakes they hit a

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Speaker 1: lot deeper and they have a deeper, farther reaching consequence

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Speaker 1: on a mistake that you make when you're married. And

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about as a mistake like you make a

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Speaker 1: bad investment, or you buy a new trunk that's actually

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Speaker 1: a lemon and it breaks down and you shouldn't have

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Speaker 1: paid that much for a truck. Okay, stupid mistake as

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Speaker 1: a teenager, but at least you didn't bring her into this.

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Speaker 1: Now it's not her problem. So that's what I'm talking about.

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Speaker 1: There's all kinds of you go off and you take

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Speaker 1: a crazy job offer that's a risk, that's low money,

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Speaker 1: but it has a high potential and it ends up

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Speaker 1: being a dud and you lose everything. It's okay as

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Speaker 1: an eighteen year old, that's okay to lose everything. If

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Speaker 1: you're married, you don't want to lose everything. You have

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Speaker 1: more to lose. You're going to experience this for maybe

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Speaker 1: sixty years. You're going to be made married and you're

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Speaker 1: gonna have responsibility of not only her, but kids and

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Speaker 1: god willing grandkids. And you have to tighten up this

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Speaker 1: ship when you're doing that. But right now you could

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Speaker 1: be a loose cannon. Loosely speaking. Yeah, let's just for

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Speaker 1: the fun of it, let's shift the landscape of what

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Speaker 1: we're talking about here, or the scene. Victor lives on

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Speaker 1: a plot of land that his family has owned for generations.

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Speaker 1: His grandmother and grandfather live on the property. They got

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Speaker 1: married when they were seventeen. His parents got married when

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Speaker 1: they were seventeen. They all work on this farm in

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Speaker 1: the mountains together. Their school is kind of like just

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Speaker 1: a little bit or it's just different than here. Like

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Speaker 1: they go to school and then they go work in

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Speaker 1: the afternoons and it's like this apprentice kind of growing,

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Speaker 1: which sounds awesome. Actually, but what if that, what if

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Speaker 1: that is the context here for Victor? Is the answer

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Speaker 1: the same this back to this is a cultural thing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I guess, I guess this was question. What if the

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Speaker 1: culture is is like that, if that's the scene, you're right,

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Speaker 1: You're right, and so the answer is not so then

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Speaker 1: if that's the situation, then we just go straight to

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Speaker 1: his question, I want to make more money than just

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Speaker 1: my salary? What advice do you give me? Okay, right,

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Speaker 1: like we got way off of his question. Threw something

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Speaker 1: at him that, Yeah, hey're like whoa sixteen? Hold on, man,

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Speaker 1: I love let me say too. I love the Mexican

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Speaker 1: culture so much. I love it. I love I love

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Speaker 1: the culture. I love the music, I love the food,

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Speaker 1: I love the work ethic. I love the architecture and

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Speaker 1: the colors and the I love I love the Mexican culture.

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Speaker 1: So I want to come visit you. I want to

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Speaker 1: take you up on your offer and go to Durango

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Speaker 1: and you come here to the Yegee farm and you

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Speaker 1: spend some time with us, and you seem like a

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Speaker 1: really cool kid. And you could work for me. That

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Speaker 1: would be amazing. You come work for me, that's the

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Speaker 1: answer for some You can come work for me too.

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Speaker 1: If you are looking for options, we'll both of us

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Speaker 1: and we'll trade, will trade, you know, will come stay

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Speaker 1: at your ranch? That would be okay. But that's not

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Speaker 1: as none of this is his question. His question is

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Speaker 1: he wants to make more money right now in Durango

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Speaker 1: as a farmer, as a sixteen year old. What advice

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Speaker 1: do you give parentheses? Getting married is expensive, So goal

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Speaker 1: make more money so that I can get married because

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Speaker 1: it costs money, right tying those together? So doing it

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Speaker 1: for his girl, which is admirable, I think, well, okay,

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Speaker 1: let's just break this down to he's got a boss.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure right if we're talking about practical ways that

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Speaker 1: you can make more money, Okay, if I have people

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Speaker 1: come to me all the time, I want to make

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Speaker 1: more money, right, employees, And it's almost like okay, well,

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Speaker 1: you need to find ways to add value to the

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Speaker 1: company that you're a part of. So the farm team,

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Speaker 1: whatever it is that you're a part of, you have

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Speaker 1: to find ways to add value to that. And that

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Speaker 1: could be I'm going to take these very specific tasks

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Speaker 1: and responsibilities off the plate of my supervisor that person. Ye,

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Speaker 1: so then they get more freed up and I'm Therefore,

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Speaker 1: if I get pulled out of this company, there's a

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Speaker 1: lot more that's at stake. My employer does not want

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Speaker 1: to lose me because replacing me is going to be

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Speaker 1: really difficult. Make it difficult to be replaced. That's how

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Speaker 1: you make more money. Yeah, yeah, that's great. So that's

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Speaker 1: that's in the context of staying in your same job

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Speaker 1: right now and be someone they can't replace. Be someone

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Speaker 1: that knows how to work the generator, that knows how

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Speaker 1: to work the truck, that knows how to repair the tractor.

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Speaker 1: You're the guy that knows just about everything there on

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Speaker 1: the farm. And you want everyone to think, well, I

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Speaker 1: mean we got to cut back. Who should we cut back? Well,

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Speaker 1: definitely not Victor, because I need him seven different things.

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Speaker 1: So there's that. If you don't want to be part

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Speaker 1: of the farm doing this then, I mean there's there's

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Speaker 1: stuff like Uber. Can you drive Uber when you're sixteen?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Last time I went to Mexico, one

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Speaker 1: of the ranch hands that I was working with this

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Speaker 1: reason I even thought about it. I said, what do

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Speaker 1: you do for extra money? And he said he drives

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Speaker 1: Uber And that was in Sonora. So I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you could drive at sixteen, But there's there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of things that you could do, like you clock

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Speaker 1: out from the farm and then you clock in on

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Speaker 1: the Uber app and you start that. But basically, it's

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Speaker 1: a great question, man, and we wish you the best,

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Speaker 1: and we both think that you shouldn't get married right now.

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Speaker 1: Your grandma and your great grandma and your mom, everybody

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Speaker 1: and your family all lives together and that's kind of

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Speaker 1: the thing, and you have that support and that's cultural differences.

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Speaker 1: Tell them you want you need to go on a

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Speaker 1: a work trip to Texas and work for your buddy Granger.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's so you can't get married right now, but

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Speaker 1: you're going to go on this trip. So yeah, thank you, Victor.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate your brother. Here's I just saw your name.

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Speaker 1: Where was that? I literally just saw your name here.

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Speaker 1: It is right there, Granger slash Bernie. I need some

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Speaker 1: advice Hed Granger and guest princees hopefully Bernie. My name

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Speaker 1: is Nick. I'm eighteen. I'm about to start college as

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Speaker 1: a heavy diesel mechanic. I've had job since I was fifteen,

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Speaker 1: and now I have a pretty good job and it

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Speaker 1: brings It has brought me plenty of good things, and

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Speaker 1: I've always wanted to be I've always wanted to get

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Speaker 1: a bass boat. But I buy things that I probably

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Speaker 1: don't need, and I but I'm trying to read your writing, brother,

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Speaker 1: But I do it anyway and feel like I regret

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Speaker 1: it afterwards. So you buy things that you don't need,

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Speaker 1: and then you regret it. I look at others and

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Speaker 1: what they have at my age, and I always think

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Speaker 1: I could do better. I struggle at saving money, and

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Speaker 1: I know I need to grow up fast and start

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Speaker 1: a life. It just seems like no matter how much

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Speaker 1: I have, I feel like I don't have enough. I

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Speaker 1: feel like like no matter how much money or materialistic

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Speaker 1: things I have, I feel like I fall short. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I struggle at saving money. I struggle at looking at

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Speaker 1: everything else that everyone has, and I struggle at looking

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Speaker 1: what I have as a blessing. I always look to

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Speaker 1: the Lord. That will never change. Lately I can't seem

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Speaker 1: to find happiness. Please help, Thank you. This was a

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Speaker 1: nick This email got worse and worse as it went on.

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Speaker 1: Like it starts off, it's like things are pretty good,

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Speaker 1: a good job, and I just wish I had a

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Speaker 1: bass boat, and then it ends up the very end

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Speaker 1: saying I can't find happiness, or right before that, he said,

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Speaker 1: I always look to the Lord and that'll ever change.

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Speaker 1: Which I'm gonna challenge that, bro, yep, because if your

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Speaker 1: heart is in that place of like there's no contentment

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Speaker 1: and you feel like you need that, you need that,

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Speaker 1: you're not talking the Lord, because God's gonna be like,

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Speaker 1: y'all need that, bro all he needs me. Hey right here,

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Speaker 1: right here, don't worry about all that material stuff. Like man,

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Speaker 1: I heard of God say the other day that we

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Speaker 1: go to Jesus at the beginning, we go to Jesus

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Speaker 1: for him to fulfill our needs, and then we later

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Speaker 1: find out he's all we need. And that's so true.

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Speaker 1: It's like, hey, hey Jesus, everyone's been talking about you.

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Speaker 1: I really need you to help fix this all right,

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Speaker 1: I need you to help fulfill this or help me

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Speaker 1: get more of this, or help this person to get well.

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Speaker 1: And then the more we develop in our faith, we

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Speaker 1: realize Jesus, You're just all I need. Yeah, I feel

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Speaker 1: like hyper said I read something recently. Don't pray because

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Speaker 1: you want God to meet your needs. Pray because it

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Speaker 1: glorifies God to meet our needs. Does that make sense? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: It does. Like, Hey, this is so I think the

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Speaker 1: point is is like there's a posture here that I

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Speaker 1: think is just a little off balance. Yeah. So the

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Speaker 1: specific question, though, is how do I well got worse

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Speaker 1: and worse? But the problem seems to be the source

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Speaker 1: of he two things. One he looks at everyone else

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Speaker 1: like they're doing better than him. And two he buys

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Speaker 1: things that he doesn't need and then regrets it later. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I wonder how long later, Because if you start using Amazon,

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Speaker 1: you can always like, you know, you got a little

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Speaker 1: window of the time you can just hit refund and

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Speaker 1: return that thing. It's like okay, or you can just

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Speaker 1: ship it back, you know. But hey, I am encouraged

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Speaker 1: by this guy. I mean, he is I can tend

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Speaker 1: to have this like negative perception of the next generation.

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Speaker 1: But we have a lot of teenagers that write in

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Speaker 1: and they're all hard working. Yeah, and they'll do they'll

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Speaker 1: do a lot of the stuff that most folks don't

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Speaker 1: want to do, and they'll get jobs and they'll work

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Speaker 1: full time too. I'm doing this. I'm It's like, man,

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Speaker 1: that's that part's encouraging. You just got to use that

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Speaker 1: energy towards something else besides trying to you know, fulfill

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Speaker 1: your material. Yeah, he says he's about to start college

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Speaker 1: to be a heavy diesel mechanic. That's a great job.

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Speaker 1: That job is very plentiful to get a job like that.

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Speaker 1: They're in high demand. There's so much trucks, so many

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Speaker 1: trucks on the road, so many diesel engines on the road,

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Speaker 1: or or generators or what you're you're just going to

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Speaker 1: be in a high demand position. So you're eighteen, we

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Speaker 1: could almost say the same thing as we said to Victor.

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Speaker 1: The great thing, man, The great thing, Nick is you

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Speaker 1: can't afford to make mistakes. Now, see that, Victor. Here's

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Speaker 1: a good example. Nick. He's having financial struggles, but in

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Speaker 1: the end he's eighteen, and it's okay. When this is

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Speaker 1: when these kind of mistakes. This kind of exploration financially

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Speaker 1: is okay. Like I bought this stupid thing that I

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Speaker 1: thought was cool, and now I regret spending one hundred

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Speaker 1: and thirty four dollars on this and I don't even

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Speaker 1: really use it. Okay, cool, learn from that because you

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Speaker 1: don't have a wife and kids yet that depend on

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Speaker 1: you to make those decisions right. So there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of positive here. And it's a good example for Victor

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Speaker 1: because Victor was looking at getting married at the same

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Speaker 1: age that Nick is now and Nick is struggling, and man, Nick,

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Speaker 1: you're struggling rightly. Because I was eighteen. I wasn't an idiot.

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Speaker 1: I was idiot eighteen year old. I always think of

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Speaker 1: this in my teenage years. I think in terms of

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Speaker 1: I had blinders like a like a horse, Like I

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Speaker 1: had those horse blinders where all I saw was just

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Speaker 1: the next step ahead of me. I didn't see anything

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Speaker 1: to the right or left or up or down, and

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Speaker 1: I didn't see the world going on around me. I

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Speaker 1: was hard headed, hard to learn, hard to improve because

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Speaker 1: I had these blinders on. And I think I think

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Speaker 1: that's actually part of the brain development, Like there's yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's yeah, there's doctors that will say, yeah, your brain's

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Speaker 1: not fully developed. Yeah, those frontal lobes are not connected yet. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Scares the crap out of me for my kids growing up.

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Speaker 1: Like right, So that's when I want to relate to spec,

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Speaker 1: to Victor and just say, look Victory, look at Nick.

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Speaker 1: You know, here's the question right here. Man making some

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Speaker 1: making some mistakes that are okay. These these are not

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Speaker 1: devastating things, and you're asking the right questions. Like Bernie said,

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Speaker 1: you're learning. Just like Bernie said, I don't think you're

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Speaker 1: leaning into the Lord like you say that you are.

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Speaker 1: I always look to the Lord, and that'll never change.

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Speaker 1: I don't see the fruits of that in your question.

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Speaker 1: I don't see I don't see very much evidence of

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Speaker 1: a of giving your life to a savior the way

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Speaker 1: that you think you might be. Right did I at eighteen? No,

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Speaker 1: So dude, you're not in You're not in a different

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Speaker 1: boat than I ever was in. But I just want

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Speaker 1: to point that out that you can't add that sentence

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Speaker 1: unless you can have some fruits of that and go,

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Speaker 1: I've given, I give. I look to the Lord like

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Speaker 1: you said, I look to the Lord. And here's evidence

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Speaker 1: of looking to him, here's the evidence of it. Here's

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Speaker 1: what's what's the evidence peace, hope and joy M hmcause

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Speaker 1: that's you should immediately be able to say, I see evidence,

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Speaker 1: maybe not fully fulfilled, but I see evidence slivers maybe

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Speaker 1: of peace, hope and joy in my life. But the

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Speaker 1: next thing you said was I can't find happiness. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and let me just tell you that, no matter how

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Speaker 1: much money you do end up making as a diesel

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Speaker 1: mechanic or the CEO of some big company, like material

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Speaker 1: things are never going to fill you the way that

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Speaker 1: you're thinking it will boom, and it's just not going

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Speaker 1: to do it. So don't you know, there's a ton

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Speaker 1: of people in history, me included probably Grange or two

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Speaker 1: that have you know, we've chased that and thought that

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Speaker 1: it could do it. It can't. Don't do it. If

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Speaker 1: any advice you listen to, just don't chase that materialistic Hey,

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Speaker 1: if I just had more money, I could buy this

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Speaker 1: thing and it would make me happy. It's not going

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Speaker 1: to happen. Okay. The price tag of what you want

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Speaker 1: always goes up relative to what you're making at the time.

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Speaker 1: That's right. Always, that's right. So if you think one

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Speaker 1: hundred and thirty four dollars. My example earlier is a

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Speaker 1: lot right now that's going to be seven hundred and

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Speaker 1: thirty four dollars five years down the road, and then

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Speaker 1: it's going to be thirteen hundred and forty five dollars

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Speaker 1: down the road. And then you're going to look at

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Speaker 1: something that's thirteen thousand, and then you're gonna go this

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Speaker 1: is crazy. It's thirteen thousand, and then you're going to

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Speaker 1: be buying a house, and then it's just ungodly amount

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Speaker 1: of money that you're spending here. It doesn't change, it's

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Speaker 1: relative to what you make if you don't fix the

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Speaker 1: problem that its source. Yep. And one of the problems

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Speaker 1: we see here is you're looking to others, and we

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Speaker 1: know from human experience that never works. You could, it

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter. You could look at me and go, oh,

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Speaker 1: he's he's a singer and he has he's had mild

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Speaker 1: success in music, so now he could just do whatever

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Speaker 1: he wants. You think, I don't look and go Justin

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Speaker 1: Timberlake man is crushing it. You think Justin Timberlake doesn't

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Speaker 1: go man, Elvis just had it, man, he had guys

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Speaker 1: it Never there's never a cap to it. And guess

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Speaker 1: what happened to Elvis died because of this, Yeah, he died.

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Speaker 1: He died because because material things never fulfilled his happiness

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Speaker 1: that he thought they would. So it's a dangerous circle, man,

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Speaker 1: it's a dangerous circle. And it's just self discipline. Given

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Speaker 1: it to the Lord. Like you said, look to the

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Speaker 1: Lord and say, God, I'm one with this. I'm giving

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Speaker 1: it to you. And you could give any struggle fill

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Speaker 1: in the blank of your struggle, God, I'm giving it

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Speaker 1: to you. Yeah. I feel like this what was this

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Speaker 1: guy's name again, Nick? Nick? I feel like Nick may

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Speaker 1: have this backwards by his like he kind of, you know,

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Speaker 1: in a secondary kind of way, slips in. I looked

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Speaker 1: at the Lord and everything. I was just talking with

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Speaker 1: a buddy of mine who is going through a really

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Speaker 1: tough season, and he was saying all of these things,

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Speaker 1: and he's like, and I know that these things are

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Speaker 1: affecting my walk with God. And then I said, well,

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Speaker 1: hold on a second, man, I feel like your walk

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Speaker 1: with God right now may actually be affecting those things.

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Speaker 1: That's not a secondary thing. You looking to the Lord

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Speaker 1: is not a secondary thing. That is what is affecting

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Speaker 1: your lack of happiness, that is what is affecting your situation.

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Speaker 1: Your lack of looking to God is what is causing

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Speaker 1: a lot of these issues, the discontentment and the need.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to feel this. It's like, if we believe

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Speaker 1: in our belief system that if you are truly looking

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Speaker 1: to God in all things and looking to glorify Him

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Speaker 1: with your life, not just with the small little parts here,

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Speaker 1: every square inch of it, you're like, have it that

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Speaker 1: You're not going to have these overwhelming desires for the

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Speaker 1: material things. It's just not going to be there. Like,

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Speaker 1: and if they do come, it's a flash in the

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Speaker 1: pan that you put out really quickly with your grace

408
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Speaker 1: is sufficient. God, You are all I need, Like, provide

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Speaker 1: what I need. Give me this day my daily bread,

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Speaker 1: not the bread for the next hundred years, and not

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Speaker 1: a big house to put it in. Just give him

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Speaker 1: my daily bread. That's it. That's good. That's good. Moving on.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing else could be said about that question. That's great, Nick, Okay,

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Speaker 1: here's one says it's very one says, hey, Granger, I

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Speaker 1: wear a mask to school and I don't want to.

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Speaker 1: I also want to quit school. Quit school. Did you

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Speaker 1: read that, No, read this. I have a mask I

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Speaker 1: have I wear. I have to wear a mask to school,

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Speaker 1: and I don't want to. I also want to quit school.

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Speaker 1: I also want to quit school too. Well, first of all,

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Speaker 1: we need to stay in school. Based on like elevated

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Speaker 1: with just two questions. It just like elevate it all

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Speaker 1: the way to the end. Yeah, this is this is

424
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 1: It comes from Aaron. Don't know how old he is,

425
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 1: don't know where he is, but yeah, where you want

426
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,120
Speaker 1: to go with me? I feel like we could go

427
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 1: a lot of different directions with this one. Hey, Aaron,

428
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 1: shut up, stay in school. Yeah, by the grammar in

429
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: your email too, you need to be in school, bro.

430
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 1: So hey, we try, we try so hard to to

431
00:24:56,359 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 1: reveal our full heart in this podcast, and we try

432
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 1: to in an ultimately an offended world, an easily offended world.

433
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,639
Speaker 1: We try not to offend, but there's a limit to

434
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 1: what we could say that inhibits us to get to

435
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 1: the truth. And sometimes, Aaron, you need to hear the truth, dude,

436
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: Suck it up. Stay in school. Yeah, absolutely, you know

437
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 1: that school is good for you and it's beneficial. Right. Yeah,

438
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,359
Speaker 1: So let's talk about or let's relate it to like

439
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 1: cold showers. You know, I take cold showers. Okay, I

440
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,479
Speaker 1: could say the same thing as your email. I have

441
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 1: to take cold showers and I don't want to. That

442
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 1: is true in order to, you know, feel this benefit

443
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,959
Speaker 1: that I the thing that I feel is beneficial. I

444
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,639
Speaker 1: have to take cold showers and I don't want to.

445
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,920
Speaker 1: I also want to quit taking cold showers. That is true.

446
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 1: But you're not going to gain the benefit. It's not

447
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,640
Speaker 1: the best thing that you feel like you. I mean,

448
00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,160
Speaker 1: you have to make the decision. You want to quit school,

449
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:02,479
Speaker 1: quit school, but it's not the most healthy, beneficial decision

450
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,879
Speaker 1: in your life at this point. Let me say something

451
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,400
Speaker 1: that's the reason. Let me say something that's super unpopular.

452
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 1: But I'm speaking to young people. Listen, listen to me,

453
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 1: young people. And if you ever want to be a leader,

454
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 1: if you want to change society, if you want to

455
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 1: break the norm of culture, first you need to learn

456
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:27,679
Speaker 1: to follow culture and conform to it. You have to

457
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 1: conform and be part of culture and be identical to

458
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 1: everyone around you. If you ever want to break out

459
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 1: and be a leader of it and change it, guys,

460
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 1: that's a human fact. It's like you're saying you got

461
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 1: to under you got to understand, yes, the current, before

462
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 1: you really know how to swim up straight. It's the old.

463
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:47,439
Speaker 1: If you want to be a leader, you first have

464
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:50,199
Speaker 1: to learn to follow ye and you can't. There is

465
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 1: no leadership without being a follower first. It doesn't happen.

466
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 1: Think of the military terms. When when I went to

467
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,120
Speaker 1: the Core at Texas A and M, for example, it's

468
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,360
Speaker 1: what I know. As freshmen. The first thing we did

469
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,880
Speaker 1: is we got a buzz cut. We had to throw

470
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 1: away or pack away and send off any clothes that

471
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,639
Speaker 1: we had that didn't look the same as everyone else.

472
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 1: We had to wear a uniform that was identical. No

473
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: one got anything special. No one got any different shoelaces

474
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 1: or different watch, our different belt. Everyone looks the same

475
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 1: because it's the Core at A and M is a

476
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:29,359
Speaker 1: leadership program, just like the military, where they know that

477
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 1: in Navy seal training whatever, they break you down to

478
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 1: the core human. First, they get rid of any human

479
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 1: identity that you might have and they conform you to

480
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 1: the people around you. Then as you grow and you learn,

481
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 1: you're able to take on what you've learned from that

482
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: conformity and break out from it. And lead people out

483
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: of it. What's my point, Aaron, wear the mask? Why?

484
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 1: Because it's the rule. I don't care what you think

485
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: that it's gonna You were going to change the world

486
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,679
Speaker 1: by being the one at sixteen years old, guessing your

487
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,920
Speaker 1: age that steps out and says, I don't wear a

488
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 1: mask because I'm going to change the world. No one

489
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 1: will believe you because you're not believable yet. That's good. Yeah,

490
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 1: wearing the mask is the standard you've talked about. I

491
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 1: think you and Parker may have talked about this in

492
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 1: the last one, Like wearing the mask right now at

493
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:23,879
Speaker 1: your school is the standard. Your feeling is that you

494
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 1: don't like it, and so if the standard goes against

495
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,160
Speaker 1: how I feel, then I'm just not gonna My action

496
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 1: is going to be based on my feelings, which you

497
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 1: guys did a great job. Go back and listen to

498
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 1: that podcast on kind of like encouraging people. Don't you

499
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 1: can't trust your feeling, you can't be led by feeling.

500
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,479
Speaker 1: This is the standard, do the hard things. And if

501
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 1: we're speaking to that generation, I don't think it's this

502
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 1: next you know, like the gen z or malinia. I

503
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 1: don't think it's just I think this has been for history.

504
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 1: They call them hard things because they're hard, like they're

505
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: hard to do. But do the hard things. They're so

506
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 1: beneficial for you. Yeah, man, that's so good. Don't take

507
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:12,040
Speaker 1: these statements out of context from me and Bernie. We're

508
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 1: not talking about the old congressman, or the old senator,

509
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 1: or the old the old man down the street that's

510
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 1: been through everything. I'm talking to you, Aaron. In school

511
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 1: right now, you're still learning conformity and that that word

512
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 1: is so unpopular right now. But if they tell you

513
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 1: to wear a purple hat because that's the rules to

514
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 1: stay in school, follow the rules until you're out of school. Yeah,

515
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 1: then you'll be a leader one day. Then you'll be

516
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: a man. Let's take a Break podcast has brought to

517
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518
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520
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521
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523
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525
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554
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Speaker 1: I just thought about something on that last question. One

555
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 1: last thing I said, don't take it out of context.

556
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 1: One more thing to not take out of context is

557
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 1: we're not talking about morality or a moral code or

558
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 1: the Ten Commandments. You know what I mean. If you're

559
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 1: told as a kid to murder someone and that goes

560
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 1: against your moral code, which hopefully it does, you don't

561
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, but that's not what we're talking about.

562
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 1: That's okay. I just had to be totally clear and

563
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: just in case anyone goes, what if they tell you

564
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:29,719
Speaker 1: to kill somebody were supposed to conform. Yeah, maybe that

565
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 1: is just the double edged sort of living in this generation,

566
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 1: the digital age as we live in, kind of these

567
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 1: soundbites that can be so taken out of context and

568
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 1: it's like there's nothing you can do. Man. Yeah, we're

569
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 1: not talking about morality. We're talking about clothing. Yeah, it's okay,

570
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 1: we want to go there. If they tell you to

571
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 1: dress like a girl on purpose, that's technically going against

572
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: your ethics also, right, So it's not totally clothing. Yeah,

573
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 1: there may be some time where the thing that you're

574
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 1: a part of is something that you just have to leave, right. Yeah,

575
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 1: But in this context, we're assuming that the school that

576
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 1: they are going to is where their parents have sent them,

577
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 1: that this is a good choice, and this is more

578
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 1: just like immature rebellion, like I don't want to do that,

579
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna quit. I'm gonna take my ball and

580
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 1: go home kind of things like here's a total switch

581
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 1: gear here. Do you believe there's someone for everyone? Hey, Granger,

582
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,479
Speaker 1: this isn't something I talk about much, but it crosses

583
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: my mind a lot. Do you believe that there's someone

584
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 1: for everyone in this world? Genuinely curious on your thoughts

585
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 1: because I've always thought I've always thought so, but the

586
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: older I get, the more that that thought changes for me.

587
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 1: Relationships don't come easy for me. It's been thirteen years

588
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 1: since I've been in a relationship. I've adapted to being alone,

589
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to be with

590
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: someone to share my life with. It's also been so

591
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 1: long because for most of my life, I felt that

592
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 1: I couldn't be who I really was with my family

593
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 1: and didn't have to didn't have the courage to come

594
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 1: out to my family until five years ago. I'm almost

595
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 1: thirty three and beginning to feel as if there was

596
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 1: no one out there for me. Thanks for taking time

597
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 1: to answer Sarah from Ohio that she's talking about she's homosexual.

598
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,400
Speaker 1: I read that little part one with sound because yes,

599
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 1: I don't think that's her question. But she may be gay,

600
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,799
Speaker 1: may say it's been it's been so long because most

601
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 1: of my life I felt like I couldn't be who

602
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 1: I really was with my family, didn't have the courage

603
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 1: to come out to my family to find I think, Okay,

604
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 1: so yeah, but I don't think that's her that's her question.

605
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 1: The questionly is is there's somebody for everybody. My immediate

606
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: answer to you, Sarah is no, I don't. I don't

607
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:53,360
Speaker 1: think that that that there's like this cosmic mystic idea

608
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 1: that there's one person on the globe and then there's

609
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:01,360
Speaker 1: another person and they're just like there's some like karma

610
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 1: that just draws them together magically, and if you miss

611
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 1: that chance, you're never gonna see that person. So that

612
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 1: answer is no. We said this earlier, or maybe we

613
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 1: said it on another podcast, that love is a decision

614
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 1: and you you're you, You base it on your capatibility

615
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 1: and you you measure them and how they measure up

616
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 1: to your life, and when it's a match, you make

617
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: the decision go all in, let's love. Yeah. I think

618
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 1: in a culture that is that idolizes and puts relationships

619
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:46,520
Speaker 1: on a pedestal like marriage and companionship, that that is

620
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:51,359
Speaker 1: the goal. So that can very much make people feel like, well,

621
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 1: if I don't have someone, then I'm not I'm not

622
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 1: reaching the goal. I'm not doing what the culture tells

623
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,080
Speaker 1: me is the most important thing. Totally. But I don't

624
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:03,239
Speaker 1: think that's right. I mean mean, Jesus wasn't married, Paul

625
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 1: wasn't married. There's I mean people throughout history that you

626
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 1: can think they just had a different goal called to singleness.

627
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 1: They had a different goal in mind, and so I

628
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:18,720
Speaker 1: think that you probably have to just consider what's your goal.

629
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 1: I don't I agree with Griz, like just on a

630
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 1: basic level, there's I don't think that there's like the

631
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: one out there for everybody. I think that there's a

632
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 1: lot of folks that will live a single life their

633
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 1: entire life, and they can be extremely joyful in that. Yeah, totally. So,

634
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 1: I mean, let's speak in a couple more things. She said.

635
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,760
Speaker 1: In the back half of this email, she said she's

636
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:51,279
Speaker 1: adapted to being alone. I just want to say this.

637
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 1: I want to speak to everyone that might be in

638
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 1: the situation. First of all, Sarah, props to you for

639
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 1: adapting to be alone, because we get a lot of

640
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 1: emails that's say the opposite, like I can't I just

641
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 1: can't be alone. I don't know what to do. So

642
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: you've learned it. I saw this is where i'mna speak

643
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:11,920
Speaker 1: to everyone. I saw a long long time ago on TV.

644
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,359
Speaker 1: I think it was that remember that TV show Bonanza,

645
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 1: like that old Western show. Yea. I remember there was

646
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 1: this one random scene. It just like burned into my brain.

647
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 1: But they go up to visit this old man on

648
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: that's lived in a little cabin on a mountain, and

649
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 1: one of the guys told the old man, They said, man,

650
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,319
Speaker 1: you live here, it must be really lonely. And the

651
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 1: old man boom burned in my mind. He looked right

652
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 1: at him and he goes, it's better to be lonely

653
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 1: alone than lonely with somebody else. Like, apply that to

654
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 1: our lives all across the board. It's better to be

655
00:37:55,600 --> 00:38:00,360
Speaker 1: lonely alone than lonely with somebody else. So I'm speaking

656
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 1: to you, Sarah, that's really yourd You've adapted to be

657
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 1: an alone, but that doesn't mean that it's going to

658
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 1: be better just because you're with somebody. I also want

659
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 1: to speak to this part about I couldn't be who

660
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 1: I was around my family. That's I hate. I hate

661
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: that that. I hate that that anyone that anyone just

662
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 1: can't no matter, no matter the situation, that you're not

663
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 1: allowed to be upfront, be honest, because things could get

664
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 1: fixed and kicked up. And I was thinking about this. Okay,

665
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go deep for a second. Yesterday was super

666
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:43,359
Speaker 1: windy in Austin, Texas, crazy windy, and I was thinking

667
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 1: about how God made the world and and all the

668
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 1: systems of the world and how perfect it all is.

669
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 1: And I was thinking, what would happen if there was

670
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 1: no wind? I g If it didn't exist because it

671
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:59,359
Speaker 1: was never part of creation, the world would probably end.

672
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 1: I think. I'm not a scientist, but I think the

673
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 1: world would not survive without wind. It carries seeds across oceans,

674
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 1: It fertilizes fields, it moves its clouds, clouds, rain flocks

675
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:19,080
Speaker 1: of birds. So much of the of the TikTok of

676
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 1: the world is conformed by wind. And and it wind

677
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 1: also just knocks the dead stuff loose, like trees. They

678
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:35,839
Speaker 1: couldn't survive without the wind, just knocking all that dead

679
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: leaves and branches and all the plants, and it just

680
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 1: kicks it around and breaks it loose and separates the

681
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 1: dead stuff. And that's what That's what being honest with

682
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 1: your family does too. Nothing is going to ever change

683
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 1: the dead stuff, and things aren't going to get fixed

684
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 1: or are helped at all if it just there's no wind.

685
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 1: A silent man that's so good, that is really really good.

686
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:08,759
Speaker 1: Do you make that up? Yeah? I actually did. Thank

687
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 1: you for emailing. You should be a public speaker or

688
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 1: write a book or something like that. Burns you want

689
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:25,320
Speaker 1: to go to New Baby Advice. Termination from Jobs, Girl

690
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:36,720
Speaker 1: Help and Faith, Extreme sexual Curriculum in school by h. Griz.

691
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go where you take us, brouh, go where

692
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 1: you take us, man. This is the Granger Smith podcast,

693
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 1: not the Bernie Big I think, just to change subjects completely,

694
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: let's go to New Baby Advice. Okay, hey, Granger and

695
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,520
Speaker 1: I would have picked the sex one, so it's probably better. Okay, Okay,

696
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 1: we can still do that. I currently have a two

697
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 1: and a half year old daughter and a seven week

698
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 1: old son at I want to bond with my son

699
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,600
Speaker 1: and grow a relationship, but I feel bad about taking

700
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,400
Speaker 1: time away from my daughter when she may not understand

701
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 1: why I'm taking time away from her to hang out

702
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,280
Speaker 1: with my son. Working Monday through Friday in the normal

703
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:16,719
Speaker 1: adult chores on the weekend don't help the free time

704
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 1: I have to split my time between both kids and

705
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 1: my wife. Any advice on how to bond with my

706
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 1: new son without feeling like I'm the weakened that I'm

707
00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 1: wakening in the relationship with my daughter. Thanks so much

708
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:33,360
Speaker 1: for the advice, Tyler from Ohio. He said, this podcast

709
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,520
Speaker 1: has pushed me to get a Bible and start to

710
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 1: read it every morning, So thank you for that. That's awesome. Man, Man,

711
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 1: it's a good question, and I feel for Tyler. I

712
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 1: feel this. But man, the fact that he's asking it

713
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:53,000
Speaker 1: means that he's not going to do any wrong here, right, Absolutely?

714
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:58,840
Speaker 1: Can we assume that mom is in the picture or

715
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 1: not in the picture from what he's saying. Yeah, because yeah,

716
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,880
Speaker 1: he says, I don't want to split the time between

717
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:11,439
Speaker 1: my kids, both my kids and my wife. Okay, yeah,

718
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 1: I think that that's just a natural part of life.

719
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 1: Would would you agree that you as you add another

720
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 1: member to the family, your time and your attention just

721
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,640
Speaker 1: has to be divided. Yeah, there's no there's no way

722
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 1: that you can give equal one hundred percent percent hundred

723
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:34,319
Speaker 1: percent like you just can't. So you you just you're

724
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 1: doing the right thing. You're asking the right questions. You're

725
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 1: you're digging into the word, which is awesome. It's going

726
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 1: to help guide your you know, ability to discern like

727
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 1: what they need and how to serve your wife and

728
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:50,279
Speaker 1: how to lead your family. But I think you're just

729
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 1: going to have to feel it out and and and

730
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:56,920
Speaker 1: be aware of man, am I being really selfish with

731
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 1: my time? Because I said on the podcast that I

732
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:02,200
Speaker 1: didn't want to like neglect the time here and here,

733
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:05,919
Speaker 1: but really fifty percent of my time's going to myself. Yeah,

734
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: and then I got little time here, a little time there.

735
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 1: Start to just examine those things, and I think you'll

736
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 1: I think you'll be okay. We've both been through that

737
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 1: struggle of the new baby, right, I mean, Griz, you're

738
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:24,719
Speaker 1: in it right now. Yeah, new baby yep. And so

739
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 1: so let's just go practically speaking, because I've already said

740
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 1: Tyler that I think you can't go wrong because you're

741
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 1: a dad that cares enough to ask this podcast that

742
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:37,600
Speaker 1: says something. You're aware of that there's something going on here.

743
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 1: But let's just go practically speaking. You know, Boom, first,

744
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 1: don't neglect your wife. She's first, Make her first, Make

745
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:51,880
Speaker 1: her more important than both kids. Your kids are very important,

746
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 1: so she better be very very important, you know what

747
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:59,479
Speaker 1: I mean. She's got to be really high, So don't

748
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:03,359
Speaker 1: neglect her, and don't don't split your free time more

749
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:06,279
Speaker 1: to them and less to your wife. That's gonna hurt

750
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:09,360
Speaker 1: you in the long run and real quick. Because that also,

751
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 1: I think we forget that that ministers to our kids,

752
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:18,040
Speaker 1: Like our relationship with our wife is our number one

753
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:20,759
Speaker 1: ministry period we think like even guys that are in

754
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:24,240
Speaker 1: full time ministry pastors or our work is our ministry.

755
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 1: It's like the way that we serve and speak to

756
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 1: and treat our wives is our number one ministry. That

757
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 1: people will look at and say, wow, that represents the

758
00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:41,960
Speaker 1: gospel or man, that's yea. I don't. I'm so confused

759
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:45,279
Speaker 1: how he can speak about you know, Jesus loving the

760
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:48,479
Speaker 1: church as his bride, and but yet he treats his pride.

761
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 1: That's so confusing. It's like, no, that's our number one thing,

762
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:53,200
Speaker 1: and ad ministers to our kids too, So yeah, it

763
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:55,840
Speaker 1: has to be first. The next step. Just practically speaking,

764
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 1: right now, Tyler, your son, there's not much bonding you

765
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 1: could do with it. There's way more bonding you could

766
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 1: do with a two and a half year old daughter

767
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 1: right now than you can with your son. Once again,

768
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:12,400
Speaker 1: Bernie and I are assuming a normal situation your family.

769
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 1: You have the family nucleus, that's your wife is not divorced.

770
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 1: I don't know, I think he's with her anyway. If

771
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 1: that's the case, the baby needs mommy right now more

772
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 1: than you. It doesn't mean that you can't help her

773
00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:30,720
Speaker 1: out and take her out of your hands, but he's

774
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:33,439
Speaker 1: really more I'm speaking from my own experience right now,

775
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:39,160
Speaker 1: he's more of a household chore right now than your son. Really,

776
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:44,399
Speaker 1: he will be very soon, But I think, once again,

777
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:48,439
Speaker 1: practically speaking the daughter, you could speak more fatherhood into

778
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 1: her right now as a two and a half year

779
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 1: old daddy daughter dates, ice cream dates, get in the car,

780
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:57,480
Speaker 1: go to the park dates, which will also help leave

781
00:45:57,520 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 1: the pressure from your wife and the house a little

782
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 1: bit so she could get some stuff done with the baby.

783
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:07,880
Speaker 1: And you're constantly going fishing or to the park, to

784
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:11,360
Speaker 1: the swing set, to the ice cream shop. I think

785
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 1: those kind that bonding will pay back dividends in y'all's

786
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 1: relationship now more than a seven week year old son

787
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 1: who is closer to an alien than a human. No,

788
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:29,319
Speaker 1: you're right, and hopefully you're tyler. You're having these conversations

789
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 1: with your wife, that's number one. Like, hey, babe, I'm

790
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 1: kind of feeling torn, like I'm not able to bond

791
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:36,719
Speaker 1: and like maybe you guys work out a system and

792
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:38,560
Speaker 1: maybe she feels the same about the two and a

793
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:40,239
Speaker 1: half year old man, I'm just doing this baby stuff.

794
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I get time with the daughter

795
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 1: and so communication is going to be really important too.

796
00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:49,680
Speaker 1: They don't get on the same page. Yeah, don't a plan.

797
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:51,879
Speaker 1: Don't take me out of context. I'm not saying don't

798
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 1: bond with your son and don't hang The bonding you

799
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 1: do with your son, though, is one sided your side.

800
00:46:56,920 --> 00:47:01,520
Speaker 1: You're bonding with him, he could care less. Yep, not

801
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:03,440
Speaker 1: there yet, Not there. But the two n half yeal

802
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 1: girl she is and she loves ice cream? Yep. Okay,

803
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 1: do you wanted to go to the sex one? Yeah?

804
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 1: Why not? Hey, Granger and guest, I'm from North Carolina.

805
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 1: I've been seeing in the news lately a lot about

806
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 1: curriculum in school, specifically the literature that they are required

807
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,880
Speaker 1: to read. Some of those books are extremely sexual and perverse.

808
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,120
Speaker 1: My own daughter has had to read a book in

809
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,400
Speaker 1: high school that depicted incest and rape. My question to

810
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:29,360
Speaker 1: y'all is what is your opinion on the curriculum in

811
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,240
Speaker 1: school and do you think our kids are being overly

812
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 1: sexualized by just about everything i e. Social media, school, internet, parents, etc.

813
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 1: I have a problem with the way things are going

814
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 1: in the world. Thank you for your time, keep up

815
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:43,840
Speaker 1: the good work and all that you do. This is

816
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:48,840
Speaker 1: Christy from North Carolina. Man. I was literally thinking about

817
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:52,840
Speaker 1: this on my drive up here. I was literally thinking

818
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 1: about a question like this because I know that this

819
00:47:56,480 --> 00:48:01,239
Speaker 1: stuff is happening, and parents are they're seeing these things,

820
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:04,960
Speaker 1: they're responding this way, and so guys, again, I don't

821
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,880
Speaker 1: know if this is right. This is just my thought.

822
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 1: Me and Grange with you sitting around a campfire, just

823
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:16,719
Speaker 1: kind of spitballing, right. I feel like as parents we

824
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 1: can tend to want to prepare the path for our

825
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:26,440
Speaker 1: kids instead of preparing our kids for the path. Right,

826
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 1: you've heard that before, right, so in this situation, but

827
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 1: I feel like what that can do is it can

828
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:37,840
Speaker 1: manifest itself to I don't know enough about the subject

829
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:40,680
Speaker 1: and the information, and this could be about faith, this

830
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 1: could be about you know, politics, this could be about

831
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 1: I'm not willing to take the time because everybody's busy.

832
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 1: I'm not willing to take the time to actually think

833
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:54,879
Speaker 1: about what I believe about this situation and what's being

834
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 1: taught I'm not taking the time to formulate an opinion

835
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:03,839
Speaker 1: that is founded in truth so that I can have

836
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:08,920
Speaker 1: a conversation with them about what is being seen and

837
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 1: what we believe in what is true. So therefore I'm

838
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 1: just gonna say, well, that's bad. I don't want to

839
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:16,399
Speaker 1: put that in front of them because then they're gonna

840
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 1: ask me, and I don't know what to say. It's

841
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 1: self preservation. I don't think you've ever been this excited

842
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:23,400
Speaker 1: about a question every podcast you've been on. This is

843
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:25,799
Speaker 1: the loudest your voices ever gotten. I know. I don't

844
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:28,840
Speaker 1: know why. I'm sorry, guys, I just fired up. I

845
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 1: think it is because there is this, you know, and

846
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:37,440
Speaker 1: they hit on social media and media in general and

847
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:40,840
Speaker 1: digital age and everything. It is we are becoming less

848
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:46,560
Speaker 1: and less about thinking and that, yes, I am passionate

849
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:49,400
Speaker 1: about that, because we are becoming more and more feeling

850
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 1: based and less like, Okay, I'm gonna just take a

851
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 1: walk and think, I'm gonna give my mind space. We

852
00:49:56,719 --> 00:50:00,560
Speaker 1: don't do that. We cram it in with every possible

853
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:04,359
Speaker 1: moment filled with some kind of entertainment. We're not consuming

854
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:07,880
Speaker 1: or we're not producing any real thoughts. We're just consuming

855
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:10,719
Speaker 1: thoughts and ideas of others, and then we're letting that

856
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:15,840
Speaker 1: kind of like mold us into like parents that just

857
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:18,359
Speaker 1: want to prepare the path for our kids so they

858
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:20,399
Speaker 1: don't have to face anything and ask us about it.

859
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 1: I'm off the soapbox, guys. I'm sorry. I could attest.

860
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:26,839
Speaker 1: What Bernie's saying is not a new idea from him.

861
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:29,480
Speaker 1: You've been saying this for years and years and years,

862
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:33,399
Speaker 1: and I could remember it was probably six years ago.

863
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:38,760
Speaker 1: I remember you going off about this subject about Boston,

864
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 1: your son, and how you were trying to teach him

865
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 1: to contribute to the world more than he's taking from it.

866
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:49,839
Speaker 1: Remember that, And this is a long time ago because

867
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,200
Speaker 1: he how old is he now, like eleven eleven? This

868
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:55,080
Speaker 1: is probably six seven, eight years ago when he was

869
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,440
Speaker 1: pretty young, and you were just you were just like

870
00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:01,680
Speaker 1: really hyped up about this. I'm trying to teach this

871
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 1: kid to contribute to this world more than he takes

872
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 1: from it, and you are. What you're hitting on is

873
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:15,840
Speaker 1: basically the idea of preparing your kid for the world

874
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:20,280
Speaker 1: versus protecting your kid from the world. And we have learned,

875
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:22,799
Speaker 1: first of all, it's impossible to protect your kid from

876
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:26,480
Speaker 1: the world. It's impossible, but it is very possible to

877
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 1: prepare them for it. If you don't teach them something

878
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:35,920
Speaker 1: anything I'm talking it could be sex education, or it

879
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:39,719
Speaker 1: could be throwing the baseball. If you don't teach them,

880
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 1: somebody will. Who would you rather it be? You? Are

881
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:47,759
Speaker 1: somebody else that you don't know yet. So we need

882
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:52,800
Speaker 1: to stop relying on outside sources to tea to teach

883
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:56,080
Speaker 1: our kids. Anything that's important to us needs to first

884
00:51:56,080 --> 00:52:01,759
Speaker 1: come from us. And if you if you don't discipline,

885
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:03,520
Speaker 1: we could say the same thing about discipline. If you

886
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 1: don't discipline your kids because you don't believe in discipline,

887
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 1: or you're you think it's too mean, or whatever reason,

888
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:14,160
Speaker 1: somebody in this world will instead of you. So I

889
00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:17,400
Speaker 1: ask again, who would you rather discipline your kid? You

890
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,279
Speaker 1: or somebody else? Because it's going to happen either way,

891
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 1: and I'm not talking about doesn't necessarily have to be spanking.

892
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:26,240
Speaker 1: It could be a police officer is going to arrest them.

893
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:29,839
Speaker 1: That's discipline in some way. So if you don't, somebody will.

894
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:34,680
Speaker 1: So this is this pattern. Christy, you have a great heart.

895
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 1: I know you do, and you care about your kids,

896
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:40,040
Speaker 1: and I love this question. I love your email. So

897
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:43,399
Speaker 1: this is nothing on you, as we're just generalizing the

898
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:46,400
Speaker 1: idea that we have to prepare our kids and stop

899
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 1: trying to protect them because we can't. It's going to

900
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 1: break loose somehow. They're going to learn. They're going to

901
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:56,799
Speaker 1: see what were you talking about rape? And what did

902
00:52:56,840 --> 00:53:00,359
Speaker 1: you say incess rape? Yeah, your kids are gonna see.

903
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:03,120
Speaker 1: Your daughter is going to see it, whether the school

904
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:06,640
Speaker 1: shows it to them or not. So you want to

905
00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:10,120
Speaker 1: prepare them. Hey, she's in high school. This is a

906
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:13,400
Speaker 1: this is prime time to talk about it. Yeah, and

907
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 1: it's uncomfortable and sometimes I've heard it put in this way.

908
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 1: If you want to talk about something uncomfortable with your kids,

909
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 1: put them in a situation where you don't have to

910
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:22,440
Speaker 1: look at each other. Oh yeah, like not at a

911
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:25,640
Speaker 1: table where you're looking. Instead, be on the front porch

912
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,320
Speaker 1: and you're both looking out. Driving in the car, driving

913
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,399
Speaker 1: in the car, driving in the car, great example that way,

914
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:35,360
Speaker 1: there's no uncomfortable eye contact. You're driving is a great example.

915
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:37,359
Speaker 1: You're driving and you say, hey, I want to talk

916
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 1: to you about something that's uncomfortable. But it's it happens,

917
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:43,960
Speaker 1: and you're old enough you could understand it and it's

918
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:48,759
Speaker 1: rape or it's incests. Yeah, and if your kid is

919
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:53,160
Speaker 1: in high school, I would. And this is this is

920
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:55,839
Speaker 1: to all parents, and this is to us, and and

921
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:59,800
Speaker 1: we're in this struggle, guys with you, and we're trying

922
00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:03,920
Speaker 1: to encourage each other, all of us to do this. Don't. Don't,

923
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,480
Speaker 1: if at all possible, wait till they're in high school

924
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 1: to start building these channels that you can connect with

925
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 1: your kid on these things. If you start having the

926
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:16,319
Speaker 1: conversations in high school, I feel like the window of

927
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:18,719
Speaker 1: that trust a lot of that has already passed. So

928
00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:21,200
Speaker 1: but don't. If they're in high school and you have

929
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:23,840
Speaker 1: done it, start just go ahead and start. Don't don't

930
00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:26,880
Speaker 1: quit or you know, don't just give up, like try

931
00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 1: to engage in the conversations. But as early as possible, first,

932
00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:34,400
Speaker 1: talk to your significant other, talk to your husband, talk

933
00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:37,920
Speaker 1: to your wife whomever, about Hey, when do we have

934
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:40,680
Speaker 1: this conversation when you know, Boston just went to middle

935
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:43,279
Speaker 1: started middle school, so we before he started, we have

936
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:48,239
Speaker 1: some conversations that were pretty uncomfortable. But it was I

937
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 1: was shocked with like the answers he would just answer,

938
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 1: and he was like, well, what about this, Well, what

939
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:55,040
Speaker 1: about this? I'm like, yeah, dude, like, come on, this

940
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:58,439
Speaker 1: is so uncomfortable. Let's talk about it. Start as early

941
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 1: as you can so that when they are, you know,

942
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,960
Speaker 1: getting older, it becomes a little more natural. But be

943
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:08,839
Speaker 1: on the same page with your spouse about because there

944
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 1: are certain things where it's like, if I, you know,

945
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:15,880
Speaker 1: showed pictures of rape to my son right now, I

946
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:18,319
Speaker 1: don't if I can. There there is a time that

947
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:21,680
Speaker 1: we can kind of protect them from certain things until

948
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:23,799
Speaker 1: their minds are at a place where it's like, Okay, hey,

949
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 1: we feel like you're gonna start getting exposed to this

950
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:28,680
Speaker 1: and so we need we need to talk about that.

951
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:31,480
Speaker 1: So we're not saying, just like your toddler, sharks start

952
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 1: showing them these pictures. That's not what we're advocating. But

953
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:38,000
Speaker 1: it's more of the open the channels of the relationship.

954
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:41,680
Speaker 1: You you really want to get there, Put your phone down,

955
00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:45,080
Speaker 1: for the love of God, put your phone down. Put

956
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:50,319
Speaker 1: their phone down, Okay, be present with them. That's how

957
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:52,839
Speaker 1: these conversations are really going to happen. That's how you're

958
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 1: gonna understand what they're thinking and to read their body

959
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:00,880
Speaker 1: language because they're they're why you And if you're on

960
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:02,720
Speaker 1: your phone, then they're gonna want to be on their phone,

961
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:05,640
Speaker 1: and who knows, you know what they're going to be

962
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:08,120
Speaker 1: looking at and what they're exposed to like, and you're

963
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:11,160
Speaker 1: you don't have long to have those conversations, guys, so

964
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:14,799
Speaker 1: just try I'm doing it myself, like, just try to

965
00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 1: be present with them and try to engage in some

966
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:22,280
Speaker 1: of these conversations and make them strong. This is making

967
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 1: them stronger and prepared, preparing, preparing, not protecting. That's so good, Burns,

968
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:33,080
Speaker 1: and so Christy, be the be the person to your

969
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:36,640
Speaker 1: daughter that she could bounce off all ideas too, so

970
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:41,480
Speaker 1: she you are her source of truth right now, until

971
00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 1: she's old enough to have her own source of truth,

972
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:47,160
Speaker 1: be her bouncing board where she say, Hey, if you

973
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:51,960
Speaker 1: hear anything strange or interesting or weird, come to me

974
00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:55,240
Speaker 1: and I'll talk you through it and build that trust

975
00:56:55,239 --> 00:56:58,080
Speaker 1: with her where she knows I can even though it's weird.

976
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:01,080
Speaker 1: Hey mom, let me tell you about what I heard today.

977
00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:03,799
Speaker 1: And then you could speak into her and go, yeah,

978
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:05,759
Speaker 1: I remember we talked about this a couple of years ago.

979
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:08,879
Speaker 1: And so this is what they're gonna teach you. Now,

980
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 1: This is what we believe in our family, and it

981
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 1: could be that. We could be talking about any subject here,

982
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:18,840
Speaker 1: but you have to build that trust. Don't ever rely

983
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:22,320
Speaker 1: on an outside source outside of your family to teach

984
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:26,360
Speaker 1: your kids anything. First, I'm talking about football, coach, baseball,

985
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:30,840
Speaker 1: coach volleyball, I'm talking about science. I'm talking about what Okay,

986
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 1: scept mathematics. Okay, I'm anna pass on math. Teacher could

987
00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:38,040
Speaker 1: teach first math because I'm not as good. But it

988
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 1: could be about history, I mean anything. We need to

989
00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:46,160
Speaker 1: be able to prepare and stop worrying about protecting Christy.

990
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:48,600
Speaker 1: I love your heart and I think you're right on.

991
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 1: And I don't think you're did you're doing this. I

992
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:53,960
Speaker 1: just think you're just you're being the wind right now

993
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:56,680
Speaker 1: and you're kicking off some dead branches, which is great. Yeah,

994
00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:58,800
Speaker 1: don't take them out of the fight. Go into the

995
00:57:58,800 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 1: fight with them. That thought, I love that thought. Before

996
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:04,440
Speaker 1: we get out of here, burns yep, I want to

997
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:10,640
Speaker 1: give up just a couple shoutouts Lance Osen and I

998
00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 1: want to give him a shout out for being a longtime,

999
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 1: longtime listener, and shout out to his boys Vin and Bo.

1000
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:20,560
Speaker 1: Thank you guys. So much. Dacota Cagle, thank you for listening.

1001
00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:23,960
Speaker 1: Appreciate you so much. Brother Tim Arnold. This is a

1002
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:27,160
Speaker 1: birthday shout so birthday shout out to Tim Arnold. Thank

1003
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:36,640
Speaker 1: you for listening. Amandarina Rainier Mandarin it is. This is

1004
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:38,800
Speaker 1: your birthday shout out. Thank you for listening from New

1005
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:42,760
Speaker 1: Jersey and Rinita McCall, Thank you so much for listening

1006
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:47,720
Speaker 1: from North Carolina and Simon Thorpe. Thank you so much.

1007
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 1: I appreciate you guys so much, and thank you everybody

1008
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:53,040
Speaker 1: for listening on all the different platforms that make sure

1009
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:56,120
Speaker 1: you make sure you go and leave a review for

1010
00:58:56,200 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 1: this podcast so granger can continue world domination. Love you guys, Yege,

1011
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:04,760
Speaker 1: thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate

1012
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:06,960
Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by

1013
00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:10,880
Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe

1014
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 1: to this channel. Hit that little like button and the

1015
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:17,360
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload

1016
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:19,880
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that

1017
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:23,919
Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at

1018
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:26,400
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Yie