1
00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,360
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John, the og story

2
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:05,760
Speaker 1: Time podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories

3
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:06,200
Speaker 1: coming up.

4
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,639
Speaker 2: But before that, we got a teeny two minute break

5
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,000
Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show.

6
00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:12,280
Speaker 1: Propped up like a little house.

7
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,640
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I slept with my best friend's wife, and

8
00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,440
Speaker 3: I don't feel bad about it.

9
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:21,480
Speaker 1: It's not your what who what what?

10
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:25,400
Speaker 3: So it started off innocently enough, or so I thought.

11
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,600
Speaker 1: It started way backing and long ago.

12
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,320
Speaker 3: For a while, she and I just had similar interest.

13
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:35,960
Speaker 3: We would go skiing, hiking, compete at stupid made up games,

14
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,120
Speaker 3: or watch football together, usually while he was busy or

15
00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:41,280
Speaker 3: just uninterested in joining us. It was like having a

16
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,800
Speaker 3: pretty guy fred as a crazy sentence. I didn't think

17
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,880
Speaker 3: of her spicy sleepily for years. She was too weird

18
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:50,040
Speaker 3: and awkward. But so was my friend, A perfect match,

19
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,200
Speaker 3: I always thought. By the way, this comes from user

20
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,320
Speaker 3: Unrepentant d Bag, and if you want to submit your

21
00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:58,720
Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime subbured it.

22
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,040
Speaker 1: I'm Keon, I'm.

23
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,440
Speaker 3: I'm Angie, and we're here to give good advice goofly,

24
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,360
Speaker 3: but we don't have all the answers unfortunately, so please

25
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,840
Speaker 3: let us know what you do, because we don't know

26
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:11,440
Speaker 3: what we'd do. He was always weird. I've known him

27
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,800
Speaker 3: since elementary school. I realized this makes it super messed up.

28
00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:17,200
Speaker 3: He was the quiet one, the guy you could totally

29
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,520
Speaker 3: forget about, even though he was sitting right next to you.

30
00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,760
Speaker 3: But we loved him. He's gotten better since then, but

31
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:26,400
Speaker 3: he's still that awkward guy. And so was she, And

32
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,160
Speaker 3: so they got married. When they were first dating, he

33
00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,400
Speaker 3: lived with me. We had moved across the country with

34
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,839
Speaker 3: some other friends, and we're all staying in the same place.

35
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,679
Speaker 3: It was a lot of fun. Eventually, the two of

36
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,360
Speaker 3: them moved a few hours away, got married. I was

37
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,080
Speaker 3: in the wedding party and had a baby. I'm the godfather.

38
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:42,679
Speaker 1: Yes.

39
00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:46,480
Speaker 3: I also realized this makes it extra messed up. While

40
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,600
Speaker 3: they live a ways away, we still get together semi regularly.

41
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,560
Speaker 3: Over time, I started to realize I looked forward to

42
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,280
Speaker 3: hanging out with her more than him. She was just

43
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,520
Speaker 3: a lot more fun than he was. He never seemed

44
00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:00,000
Speaker 3: to want to drink anymore and would get her little

45
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,160
Speaker 3: chiding remarks if she got two wasted with me and

46
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,600
Speaker 3: our other friends. He'd give me Kraft for treating her

47
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,760
Speaker 3: like one of the boys, which was all she ever

48
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,880
Speaker 3: seemed to want. He never wanted to leave town to

49
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,960
Speaker 3: do exciting things, but she was always down for an adventure.

50
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,880
Speaker 3: I was open about this with our other friends, and

51
00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:19,680
Speaker 3: they agreed he was being lame and she was awesome.

52
00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:24,160
Speaker 2: And so I decided that I was gonna betray my

53
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:25,560
Speaker 2: oldest friend.

54
00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:27,560
Speaker 3: Hey, you're one of the guys. Do you want to

55
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,400
Speaker 3: go on an adventure? You like adventures? Let's cheat. This

56
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:34,840
Speaker 3: is so wrong. I woke up next to her incredibly aroused.

57
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:37,440
Speaker 3: It was five thirty am. She had come to town

58
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,160
Speaker 3: with her mother, and I met them for a couple

59
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,679
Speaker 3: of drinks. Her mother had retired early for the night,

60
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,160
Speaker 3: and we went out. We were up late. I had

61
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,840
Speaker 3: only been asleep for maybe twenty or thirty minutes, and

62
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:51,320
Speaker 3: there I was sweating with anxiety, hurling against me on

63
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:54,320
Speaker 3: the couch of their hotel room. We had an intended

64
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,040
Speaker 3: on falling asleep together. We kind of just passed out

65
00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,680
Speaker 3: with exhaustion and from the drinks. I'm not totally guiltless,

66
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,840
Speaker 3: or at least I wasn't shut up all night. Her

67
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,320
Speaker 3: dress had been slipping off her shoulders, showing just a

68
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:09,880
Speaker 3: little too much skin, and it drove me wild. So

69
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,160
Speaker 3: I left and I walked back to my apartment without

70
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,760
Speaker 3: waking her up. I realized I was attracted to my

71
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:18,520
Speaker 3: friend's wife. Was she flirting with me? I honestly couldn't tell.

72
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,880
Speaker 3: Maybe we've both just been wasted. She's been home with

73
00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:24,400
Speaker 3: the baby for so long. Maybe she just needed to

74
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,880
Speaker 3: release some steam. Plus, I didn't have a girlfriend and

75
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,440
Speaker 3: hadn't been intimate with anyone for a few months. It

76
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,000
Speaker 3: was ski season. I didn't have time for girls.

77
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,519
Speaker 1: Shut up. I hate this guy. I didn't have that.

78
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:35,760
Speaker 1: It's only the slopes for me.

79
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,640
Speaker 2: Guys, this is what this guy wants. This guy clearly

80
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:42,280
Speaker 2: has some sort of thing for being shamed for this,

81
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,400
Speaker 2: so I don't want to give it to him. I'm

82
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,960
Speaker 2: gonna be like, I get it, buddy, it's ski season,

83
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:47,600
Speaker 2: you know what.

84
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,000
Speaker 1: You've had a couple of dry months.

85
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:53,000
Speaker 2: It only makes sense that you would hook up with

86
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,560
Speaker 2: your best friend's wife.

87
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,560
Speaker 3: I don't have time for women, but I only have

88
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,240
Speaker 3: time for my best friend's wife.

89
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:02,600
Speaker 1: Hello, she's hot, I'm dumb. I'm kinda hook up with her.

90
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,400
Speaker 3: I haven't been intimate with anyone, so, like, what's the

91
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,360
Speaker 3: next best thing. My best friend's wife.

92
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,560
Speaker 1: He's fine. She looked so hot in that dress.

93
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:11,640
Speaker 3: I hate OPC.

94
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:15,840
Speaker 1: Did she has skin? Hello, she has skin? Did we

95
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:16,880
Speaker 1: hear that again?

96
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,200
Speaker 3: Back to the sentence of like, I wasn't the only

97
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,720
Speaker 3: one guiltless? Was she flirting with me? You were flirting back,

98
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:22,400
Speaker 3: you moron?

99
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,960
Speaker 1: No, it's you know. We all know. No one is

100
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,920
Speaker 1: to blame here except for the best friend.

101
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,719
Speaker 3: I tried to rationalize it away. I don't think it worked.

102
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,880
Speaker 3: Waking up there felt so sudden, but it wasn't at all.

103
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,640
Speaker 3: Over the last two years, she slowly started to open

104
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,640
Speaker 3: up to me more and more about life, her past,

105
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:46,760
Speaker 3: family issues, things she enjoyed, things she stressed out about. Previously,

106
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,159
Speaker 3: this wasn't the case for either her or my friend.

107
00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:52,359
Speaker 3: They were both so uptight about their feelings and personal thoughts.

108
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,160
Speaker 3: Then she started to open up to me about him.

109
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:59,040
Speaker 3: This was huge. In the past, you couldn't rib either

110
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,360
Speaker 3: of them without the other jumping to defend their lover,

111
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,200
Speaker 3: No matter how slight the jab, everything warranted a defensive

112
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:07,040
Speaker 3: comment from the other. But here she was opening up

113
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:10,279
Speaker 3: to me about him, about how my words not hers.

114
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,520
Speaker 3: He was actually kind of controlling and overly worrisome about

115
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,839
Speaker 3: how he doesn't please her. She was in town for

116
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,520
Speaker 3: a few days for her friend's birthday, and she was

117
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,240
Speaker 3: staying with me and my roommate. She really started to

118
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:24,560
Speaker 3: open up. Her husband, my longtime friend, is one dimensional

119
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,320
Speaker 3: and close minded in the bedroom worse, he laughs off

120
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,240
Speaker 3: her spicy related advances. The first night she was with me,

121
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,839
Speaker 3: we crossed some boundaries, but nothing that could be considered

122
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:37,600
Speaker 3: physically cheating. Shut up, you already crossed so many lines,

123
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:39,400
Speaker 3: you know what.

124
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:43,360
Speaker 2: She just like in ski seasons, sometimes they put boundaries up,

125
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,359
Speaker 2: they tell you can't ski over here, but you do

126
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:51,680
Speaker 2: it anyway, because hey, that's just what skiers ay. Skiers ski,

127
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,520
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, That's just the way it is.

128
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,920
Speaker 2: Who cares if you cause an avalanche, or you know

129
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,719
Speaker 2: the trail doesn't actually fit Danish anywhere that it's supposed

130
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,039
Speaker 2: to go, or you know that you're skiing into a

131
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,520
Speaker 2: wilderness area with powder so deep it could just drown you.

132
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,120
Speaker 1: I mean, that's not to be worried about.

133
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:11,520
Speaker 4: You're skied.

134
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,360
Speaker 3: We talked about a lot things you don't talk about

135
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:24,200
Speaker 3: with your friend's wife, spicy related experiences. Once frustrations, needs, fantasies,

136
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:29,440
Speaker 3: all incredibly inappropriate. Wrong. We slept in my bed, fully clothed,

137
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:33,640
Speaker 3: but with her in my arms. Dude, you just keep pushing,

138
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,919
Speaker 3: you suck line. She was supposed to leave in the morning.

139
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,640
Speaker 3: I think I'll stay another day, she mused. I didn't say, no,

140
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,839
Speaker 3: stay as long as you want to. I smiled, But

141
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,680
Speaker 3: I knew this wasn't right. I went to work, confused

142
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:50,000
Speaker 3: but aroused. I knew I wasn't gonna last another night,

143
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:54,080
Speaker 3: but I convinced myself otherwise. I felt that same anxiety

144
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,400
Speaker 3: I felt waking up next to her a few months ago.

145
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,800
Speaker 3: I honestly considered going to the bathroom at work to

146
00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:02,440
Speaker 3: relieve myself, pleading that if I just had some spicy

147
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:06,599
Speaker 3: related release, I could control myself. But those are the

148
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,400
Speaker 3: thoughts of a desperate man. You seem to be adverse

149
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,560
Speaker 3: to kissing, she bluntly stated, this is.

150
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,480
Speaker 1: A fan fic. What is this?

151
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:17,200
Speaker 2: You seem to be averse to kissing. No one in

152
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,440
Speaker 2: the history of the Earth has ever said that. No one,

153
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:21,080
Speaker 2: no one.

154
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,600
Speaker 3: She was laying in my bed. We crossed many of

155
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,480
Speaker 3: the same boundaries we crossed the night before. Worse though,

156
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,520
Speaker 3: I had pinned her down as she had told me

157
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,320
Speaker 3: she wanted her husband to do, and stared down at her.

158
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,320
Speaker 3: I wouldn't do more. But I was clearly over the line.

159
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,680
Speaker 3: I've had a crush on you for years, she said,

160
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,640
Speaker 3: this was the news. It shouldn't have it shouldn't have been.

161
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:42,360
Speaker 3: All the signs were there. I should have known, but

162
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,720
Speaker 3: I thought it was all so innocent. The last couple

163
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,480
Speaker 3: of days were clearly not innocent. We laid there and

164
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,120
Speaker 3: talked about how we felt, what it meant, and how

165
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:54,120
Speaker 3: insanely wrong it was, and what would happen if anyone

166
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,880
Speaker 3: found out we knew what we were doing. I just

167
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,600
Speaker 3: need to know something, she said, as she kissed me.

168
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,760
Speaker 3: It was amazing. My god, kissing shouldn't feel the bad girl.

169
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:08,960
Speaker 1: This guy's never kissed. Anyone reading a smut.

170
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:11,160
Speaker 3: Froh, this is smut.

171
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:14,760
Speaker 2: Oh no, Well, at least it's good that this has

172
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:15,680
Speaker 2: never happened.

173
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,960
Speaker 3: I'm so happy. I'm so happy for you. Op, you're

174
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,400
Speaker 3: so happy right now, like this is this is great.

175
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,120
Speaker 1: You seem to be averse to kissing.

176
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:31,440
Speaker 2: Ah, oh, poor little guy never had a kiss before.

177
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,880
Speaker 1: This is smut.

178
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:37,360
Speaker 3: The next line does that help or hurt, I asked both.

179
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:41,240
Speaker 3: She grabbed me again and we resumed. All anxiety, all

180
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,360
Speaker 3: guilt was gone. I pulled her clothes off, pinned her

181
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,840
Speaker 3: down just like she wanted. We eft, We cuddled, We slept,

182
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,880
Speaker 3: and we effed some more. Took a shower, probably left

183
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:54,800
Speaker 3: in the shower too, told jokes, laughed, got dressed, and

184
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,559
Speaker 3: resumed life. And I don't feel bad at all. In fact,

185
00:08:58,960 --> 00:08:59,920
Speaker 3: I feel amazing.

186
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,560
Speaker 1: In fact, I feel like I'm the king of the world.

187
00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:04,520
Speaker 1: Thanks Charlie, I don't feel bad at all. Thank you.

188
00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:06,160
Speaker 1: I've never feel bad about anything in my life.

189
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,800
Speaker 3: Don't misunderstand. If my friend ever found out, it would

190
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,600
Speaker 3: be awful. It would feel so guilty for doing that

191
00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:15,880
Speaker 3: to him, to their child. But as it stands, I

192
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,520
Speaker 3: feel amazing. She was amazing. I've found it's rare that

193
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,800
Speaker 3: the first time with someone is that perfect.

194
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,280
Speaker 2: I have found that it's very rare for the first

195
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,120
Speaker 2: time for someone to be that perfect.

196
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,400
Speaker 1: I was no longer a verse to kiss him.

197
00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:33,840
Speaker 3: Uh, yeah, this has to be fake. I hope we

198
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,199
Speaker 3: got that out of our system, I said to her

199
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:36,839
Speaker 3: over the phone.

200
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:37,640
Speaker 1: A few days.

201
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,560
Speaker 3: Later, she agreed, I guess we'll see. I've been high

202
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,360
Speaker 3: on the feeling ever since, and I needed to tell someone.

203
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,800
Speaker 3: But there's no one I can safely tell except you,

204
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,320
Speaker 3: all of you Internet and redditors.

205
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,680
Speaker 1: That's crazy because I feel unsafe.

206
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:53,840
Speaker 3: I feel violated.

207
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:55,640
Speaker 2: I feel like you're gonna look down at me and go,

208
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,640
Speaker 2: my princess, this isn't this wh.

209
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:01,400
Speaker 3: To kiss you, Opie?

210
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,480
Speaker 1: Sorry, yeah, I'm actually averse to kissing.

211
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,719
Speaker 3: We have comments. I don't think there's anything else for

212
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:10,280
Speaker 3: us to say, Opie, your garbage. This has to be fake.

213
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,600
Speaker 3: There's no way you came to the internet to post

214
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,760
Speaker 3: this and be like, I feel so good about this

215
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,360
Speaker 3: and I don't care. I feel like I'm riding along

216
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,120
Speaker 3: with the bandwagon by saying this. But that's some really

217
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,200
Speaker 3: fed up crap man. And honestly, there is only one

218
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,360
Speaker 3: thing you could do at this point. Never see your

219
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,040
Speaker 3: friend again, nor his wife. He does not deserve to

220
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,480
Speaker 3: have a friend betray him like that, and being told

221
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,959
Speaker 3: that he was cheated on would do even more damage.

222
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:36,400
Speaker 3: So just leave. All you do is cause immense pain

223
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,000
Speaker 3: to him and to his family if you continue to

224
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,920
Speaker 3: involve yourself. OPI replies with this, thanks for riding along,

225
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:46,680
Speaker 3: smiley face. How could I leave. I'm not saying that

226
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,320
Speaker 3: it isn't what deserves to happen to me, But how

227
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,640
Speaker 3: could I do that? How much pain would I cause

228
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,760
Speaker 3: as a friend of many years if I just stop

229
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,679
Speaker 3: talking to him, stop coming to visit, stop hanging out

230
00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:58,559
Speaker 3: with him, but continue to be friends with others of

231
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,360
Speaker 3: the group. I don't intend on involving myself any further

232
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,120
Speaker 3: with her, and she agrees I mean it when I

233
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,840
Speaker 3: say hopefully we got it out of our system. I

234
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,360
Speaker 3: mentioned it in another comment that it may be a

235
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:12,800
Speaker 3: naive notion, but it's an honest one. Nonetheless, I also

236
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,200
Speaker 3: agree that he can never find out. It wouldn't do

237
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:18,120
Speaker 3: anything but hurt him. And above all, I'll do what

238
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,439
Speaker 3: I can to make sure that doesn't happen. You are

239
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,000
Speaker 3: a villain. You are just a pure villain.

240
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:24,880
Speaker 2: This is the guy who wants to be a villain,

241
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,679
Speaker 2: but he just like works at GameStop.

242
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, like this is honestly, that's who this guy is.

243
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,800
Speaker 3: This is a customer service rep at best Buy.

244
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:35,600
Speaker 1: He probably went skiing once. That would also be my guess.

245
00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,280
Speaker 3: I'm gonna make sure that doesn't happen, not for me,

246
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:41,400
Speaker 3: but for him and his child. Oh you care for him.

247
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,960
Speaker 3: Now this will never be written about except for here.

248
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,680
Speaker 3: Her and I agreed about that, not about here, though

249
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:51,120
Speaker 3: she has no idea for the better Opie regarding the confession,

250
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,280
Speaker 3: telling my friend would do no good. It would be

251
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,680
Speaker 3: better if I never repeated my actions and put this

252
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:59,280
Speaker 3: all behind us. But regardless of what you or anyone says,

253
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,120
Speaker 3: we're not telling him personally. I wouldn't want to know

254
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,360
Speaker 3: if I was cheated on. At the very least, I'll

255
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,240
Speaker 3: extend him that courtesy. But that's the end of that story.

256
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:11,480
Speaker 2: My best friend betrayed me for my ex, only to

257
00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:13,440
Speaker 2: lose her own boyfriend.

258
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,960
Speaker 3: Ah good, you lost everything. Good for you?

259
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,080
Speaker 2: So I eighteen female have been best friends with my

260
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,880
Speaker 2: best friend in eighteen females since middle school. She and

261
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,560
Speaker 2: I used to do everything together since our friendship started.

262
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,520
Speaker 2: She felt like the main person I could rely on

263
00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:29,000
Speaker 2: and the only person I felt always had my back.

264
00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,040
Speaker 1: That is until recently.

265
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,880
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user late photograph thirty

266
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,240
Speaker 2: eight or eleven, And if you want us to make

267
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:36,800
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the o slash Okay story.

268
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,679
Speaker 1: Tom Sarbre I'm Dakota, I'm.

269
00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:42,360
Speaker 2: Keon, I'm Angie and We're here to give you good advice, Goofily,

270
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:43,680
Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers. We only know

271
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,320
Speaker 2: what we would do, So if you do something different,

272
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:48,240
Speaker 2: let us know in the comments and no Opie says,

273
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,559
Speaker 2: we'll call my best friend Sophie. Sophie was always a

274
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,400
Speaker 2: fountain of wisdom and was like a sister to me.

275
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,079
Speaker 2: We would always rant about things and go to each

276
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:57,920
Speaker 2: other for advice.

277
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,360
Speaker 1: She was one of the best things to happen to me.

278
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,840
Speaker 2: Lately, she hasn't been wanting to hang out, which was

279
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:06,520
Speaker 2: fine until I saw her at a restaurant with my ex.

280
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,079
Speaker 1: Who will call Fred nineteen male.

281
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,319
Speaker 2: Fred and I dated last year for a month before

282
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,360
Speaker 2: he dumped me for one of my friends because she

283
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,000
Speaker 2: told him she was better. Although I moved on from

284
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,960
Speaker 2: the pain, and it feels awkward when he's around and

285
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,600
Speaker 2: leads me to have panic attacks. I'm sorry, it's she's

286
00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:24,080
Speaker 2: so eighteen to be caring this much about someone you

287
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:24,880
Speaker 2: dated for a month.

288
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,240
Speaker 1: You know, back then that felt like such a long time.

289
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,320
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you want to talk a month at eighteen?

290
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:29,720
Speaker 3: Yeah.

291
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,840
Speaker 2: After the breakup, he kept messaging me about girls he

292
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,800
Speaker 2: wanted to date until I blocked him. Sophie was there

293
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:38,040
Speaker 2: when he dumped me and was my main source of

294
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:39,360
Speaker 2: comfort during the whole thing.

295
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,240
Speaker 3: Wait what, he dumped you but also was your main Oh?

296
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,680
Speaker 2: No, Sophie was the only source of comfort. Yea, she

297
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:48,280
Speaker 2: only met Fred through my relationship with him. After I

298
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,960
Speaker 2: saw Sophie and Fred at the restaurant, I asked her

299
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,160
Speaker 2: about it. Sophie confessed that her and Fred stayed friends

300
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,560
Speaker 2: after the breakup, and she never told me because she

301
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,320
Speaker 2: knew I would be upset. She even confessed that he

302
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,680
Speaker 2: is her best friend and she went to him for

303
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,160
Speaker 2: advice about dealing with me.

304
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,760
Speaker 3: Oh my, this episode is going to be just the

305
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,360
Speaker 3: worst friends ever on.

306
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:11,800
Speaker 2: This episode of losing this friend who is trash because

307
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:12,280
Speaker 2: I don't know.

308
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,280
Speaker 1: They're eighteen and they think someone's a cutie pie. Don't worry,

309
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,120
Speaker 1: You'll make new ones.

310
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,520
Speaker 2: Her and I had an argument recently because she felt

311
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,000
Speaker 2: like I wasn't good enough of a friend. When I

312
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,240
Speaker 2: asked her what I did to make her feel that way,

313
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,640
Speaker 2: she said, there's no point in talking about it. Fred

314
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,120
Speaker 2: told me that it would be a bad idea to

315
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:28,800
Speaker 2: talk about.

316
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:28,960
Speaker 1: This with you.

317
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:31,800
Speaker 2: Sophie and Fred have been hanging out constantly, to the

318
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,520
Speaker 2: point where the friends we share all talked about how

319
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:38,720
Speaker 2: they think Sophie and Fred like each other. There when

320
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,040
Speaker 2: I was asked if I was okay with Sophie being

321
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:45,280
Speaker 2: friends with all my exes, I questioned further, Sophie is

322
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,840
Speaker 2: friends with all my exes, all the exes that cheated

323
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,720
Speaker 2: on me, all the exes that left me for someone else,

324
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,760
Speaker 2: all the exes that ended on bad terms, all the

325
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:58,400
Speaker 2: exes that she claimed to hate. If you have a

326
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:04,360
Speaker 2: quote unquote friend who is maintaining friendships best friendships with

327
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:08,040
Speaker 2: what is clearly a plethora of exes that you have,

328
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,520
Speaker 2: not shaming, not hating, just saying you've got a lot,

329
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,160
Speaker 2: Apparently that's not your friend.

330
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:13,240
Speaker 1: Anyone who would be.

331
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,480
Speaker 2: Friends with someone who cheated on you has chosen that

332
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,520
Speaker 2: person instead of you, and that's just something to know

333
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:20,320
Speaker 2: moving forward.

334
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,440
Speaker 1: As soon as Sophie chose someone.

335
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,840
Speaker 2: Who cheat anyone who would have ever cheated on you,

336
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,640
Speaker 2: my boy is not my friend.

337
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,320
Speaker 3: Or like made you feel like absolute garbage. Yeah, not

338
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,240
Speaker 3: my friend, not my friend. We have a lot of

339
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:33,240
Speaker 3: friends in the group that have, like, you know, dated,

340
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,200
Speaker 3: I've always asked, like, is it okay if I'm still

341
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,520
Speaker 3: friends with them. That's what you do first. You don't

342
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,600
Speaker 3: do it behind their back, because I knew it would

343
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,000
Speaker 3: hurt you. If your friend says no, don't hang out

344
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,000
Speaker 3: with them, that would suck. That makes me feel bad.

345
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,600
Speaker 3: Then they'd be like, Okay, I won't hang out with them.

346
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,080
Speaker 3: You're right, my allegiance is to you. But the fact

347
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,720
Speaker 3: that your friends said no, I didn't tell you because

348
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,320
Speaker 3: I just didn't want to hurt your feelings because I

349
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,200
Speaker 3: knew you'd be upset.

350
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,400
Speaker 1: I'll say it pathetic.

351
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,280
Speaker 2: I felt betrayed and lied to by Sophie. I also

352
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,440
Speaker 2: felt stupid for feeling that way. Yeah, I don't know

353
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,000
Speaker 2: why it hurts to realize that I'm no longer her

354
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,680
Speaker 2: best friend. I am no longer the person Sophie sees

355
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,920
Speaker 2: as important. I'm someone she doesn't want to be around

356
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,440
Speaker 2: that much anymore. It would hurt less if I knew

357
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,640
Speaker 2: all along that she stayed friends with them instead of

358
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,840
Speaker 2: lying to me. I thought it was normal to stop

359
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,160
Speaker 2: being friends with your best friends X after they break up.

360
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:19,760
Speaker 1: I guess I was wrong. No, you're not wrong, You're right.

361
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,560
Speaker 2: I don't even know if I can talk to Sophie

362
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,880
Speaker 2: about this, or if she would even listen, and we

363
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,040
Speaker 2: have some comments.

364
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,760
Speaker 1: First comment is is she trying to bang him or something?

365
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,600
Speaker 3: Probably probably did.

366
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,400
Speaker 1: She doesn't seem like a good friend.

367
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,880
Speaker 2: My bff would never talk to my ex, especially if

368
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,440
Speaker 2: they did me wrong. Sounds like you should start distancing

369
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,000
Speaker 2: yourself from her. Sorry, OPI. She obviously doesn't know the

370
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,720
Speaker 2: girl code. OPI replies, I have no clue what she's

371
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,520
Speaker 2: trying to do with him, and honestly don't want to

372
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,960
Speaker 2: find out. Good She has a boyfriend that she got

373
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,040
Speaker 2: with this month. The thing also is that if I

374
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,200
Speaker 2: was to talk to her ex in any way, she

375
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:55,480
Speaker 2: would be livid, so I know she wouldn't be okay

376
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,040
Speaker 2: with it. That's what a few of my friends have

377
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,080
Speaker 2: told me to do, is to distance from her or

378
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,160
Speaker 2: just drop her. The ones I share with her say

379
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,720
Speaker 2: that I should talk things out or just hear her out,

380
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,720
Speaker 2: but I just don't want to. You have nothing to

381
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:08,560
Speaker 2: apologize for. You were right about her not knowing the

382
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:09,159
Speaker 2: girl code.

383
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,720
Speaker 1: A few of our other friends that our girls dropped

384
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,399
Speaker 1: her over the course of a year, and I didn't

385
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,480
Speaker 1: understand why until recently. There is an update. Let's just

386
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,199
Speaker 1: go ahead and get right into it. Right into it.

387
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,480
Speaker 1: I mean, this is the kind of stuff you find

388
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,520
Speaker 1: out when you're eighteen. You know, she chose him over me.

389
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,640
Speaker 2: Sophie and I talked about the situation with Fred and

390
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,760
Speaker 2: how her being friends with him made me feel both

391
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,880
Speaker 2: uncomfortable and betrayed. She got mad at me and called

392
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,719
Speaker 2: me a bad friend, and then started pointing out my issue.

393
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,240
Speaker 3: She called you a bad friend. Time out. She called

394
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:38,960
Speaker 3: you a bad right of course.

395
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,600
Speaker 1: She she's pointing the finger you.

396
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:45,639
Speaker 2: She's you'd eighteen selfish, can't reckon with her own mistakes

397
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,359
Speaker 2: and her own, you know, crappy behavior. So she's gonna

398
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,919
Speaker 2: say no, no, no, no, this is you being a

399
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,680
Speaker 2: bad friend, This is you being lame.

400
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,840
Speaker 1: She talked about how I always make excuses like with

401
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,960
Speaker 1: this situation and my feelings.

402
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:00,639
Speaker 2: She brought up all my mental health problems which have

403
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,800
Speaker 2: prevented me from doing stuff I wanted to do, even

404
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,040
Speaker 2: though I've gotten better with them. She told me, I'm

405
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,520
Speaker 2: too sensitive with my feelings and I was wrong to

406
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,359
Speaker 2: ever feel betrayed by her. She also confessed that she

407
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,200
Speaker 2: was mad at me for not hanging out with her

408
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,959
Speaker 2: more since I found out about her hanging out with Fred.

409
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,760
Speaker 2: I eventually snapped at her and started talking about how

410
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,399
Speaker 2: she kept lying to me and how it would have

411
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,760
Speaker 2: been nice if she would talk to me about things.

412
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,280
Speaker 3: You know what for you to not hang out with

413
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,919
Speaker 3: this person because she's also an idiot. Sorry, she's like,

414
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,040
Speaker 3: you weren't hanging out with me because like was ever

415
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,679
Speaker 3: since I started hanging out with Fred, you just stopped

416
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,200
Speaker 3: hanging out with me? How dare you?

417
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:35,640
Speaker 1: You have terrible friends?

418
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:39,480
Speaker 2: I can remember a lot of teenage buffoonery in terms

419
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 2: of relationships in high school. This one's pretty bad, like

420
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,960
Speaker 2: in terms of like friendships going south because people don't

421
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,640
Speaker 2: politic write or whatever.

422
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:52,040
Speaker 3: They're This is pretty blatantly just yeah, this happens more

423
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,639
Speaker 3: often than you think, which is insane, but it does happen.

424
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,199
Speaker 2: I even told her that the situation would upset me

425
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,800
Speaker 2: less if she had just told me beforehand that she

426
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:02,399
Speaker 2: was going to be friends with my ex. She responds with,

427
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,199
Speaker 2: you don't get to control my friendshops, and then she

428
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,760
Speaker 2: went on a rant about how I'm controlling in a

429
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 2: terrible person. It ended with us no longer being friends

430
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,520
Speaker 2: because I couldn't accept her friendship with my ex. I

431
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,119
Speaker 2: didn't know what to do afterward and had a panic attack.

432
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,240
Speaker 2: During my panic attack, I called my boyfriend and he

433
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,480
Speaker 2: was able to call me down through the phone. He

434
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 2: asked me what was going on and I told him everything.

435
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,320
Speaker 2: He never got along with Sophie, but he never said

436
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,359
Speaker 2: or acted on his dislike. Eventually, I talked to a

437
00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:31,720
Speaker 2: friend of mine who will call Rachel about the situation

438
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,520
Speaker 2: with Sophie, and Rachel was shocked and informed me that

439
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,240
Speaker 2: Sophie had dumped her boyfriend the day after our argument.

440
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 2: Rachel even told me that she didn't know Sophie was

441
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,520
Speaker 2: hanging out with Fred and asked me what she should

442
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,280
Speaker 2: do about this situation. I told her that she shouldn't

443
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,600
Speaker 2: do anything, and I just wanted to talk to her

444
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,000
Speaker 2: about it. Then Sophie got into a fight with another

445
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,320
Speaker 2: friend of mine, Georgia. Sophie was mad at Georgia because

446
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,159
Speaker 2: Georgia defended me when Fred and Sophie were trash talking

447
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,000
Speaker 2: my name. Georgia and Sophie are still best friends, and

448
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,920
Speaker 2: I lost mine. I feel heartbroken about it, but I'm

449
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 2: sure I'll be fine without her. If Sophie ever apologizes

450
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 2: for how she acted and to sincere about it, I

451
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 2: will forgive her and be friends with her again. However,

452
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,639
Speaker 2: I will never be best friends with her again. She

453
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 2: had that privilege once, but never again. My best friendship

454
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:20,280
Speaker 2: with Sophie is canceled. Rachel is now my new best friend.

455
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:22,880
Speaker 2: Does anyone get that reference? We have some comments here,

456
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:26,200
Speaker 2: Oh boy, I remember being a teenager, comment says, Ohmgeius.

457
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:30,080
Speaker 2: She's friends with all your exes. She is insane, slimy,

458
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,880
Speaker 2: and weird. What a gross person. Run for the hills.

459
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,119
Speaker 2: She's literally gonna keep an eye on every guy you

460
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,640
Speaker 2: date and wait to sink her creepy little talents into them.

461
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,639
Speaker 2: She's got a weird mental competition going on with you

462
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,560
Speaker 2: in her head, and she is no friend of yours

463
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 2: at all. Opie replies that was suggested by my boyfriend,

464
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:47,680
Speaker 2: who was pretty mad about the situation, and he strongly

465
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,959
Speaker 2: dislikes her. Only guy I dated that she couldn't get

466
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 2: along with. She once tried to convince me to break

467
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 2: up with him because she said that she didn't like him.

468
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 2: Now I don't fully know if she was lying or not,

469
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,640
Speaker 2: but I know my boyfriend doesn't like her. One time,

470
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 2: I left them alone before the situation happened so I

471
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,439
Speaker 2: could use the ladies room. She tried to start a

472
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,880
Speaker 2: conversation with him, and he ignored her until she talked

473
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 2: about how she was mad at me. He told her

474
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,199
Speaker 2: that it isn't right for the person like her to

475
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,960
Speaker 2: talk about when she is mad at me, and she

476
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,080
Speaker 2: should talk to me peacefully.

477
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: And there is another update.

478
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,240
Speaker 2: Sophie's ex boyfriend, the one she dumped the day after

479
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 2: ending our friendship, decided to contact me. He wanted to

480
00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:23,159
Speaker 2: apologize because he felt guilty for Sophie not being my friend.

481
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,280
Speaker 2: When I asked him why he felt guilty, he said

482
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,960
Speaker 2: that Sophie mentioned it to him briefly and she ended

483
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 2: up arguing with him about it. He also told me

484
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,639
Speaker 2: the reason Sophie gave him when she dumped him. He

485
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 2: found out that she thinks my voice is annoying and

486
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,399
Speaker 2: that Fred, my ex, told him about it. Sophie is

487
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,399
Speaker 2: blaming me for her breakup with her ex boyfriend. I

488
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 2: learned this from a friend of ours autumn. Autumn sat

489
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 2: me down at lunch and told me about this. She

490
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,879
Speaker 2: also said, Sophie's telling my personal secrets to anyone that

491
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,679
Speaker 2: would listen. The principle of my school overheard what she

492
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 2: was saying. And pulled her into his office. Who Sophie

493
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 2: texted me in the middle of the night to ask

494
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,360
Speaker 2: me to defend her in a group chat that I'm

495
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,080
Speaker 2: not in. She begged me for an hour, but I

496
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 2: blocked your number so she couldn't contact me again.

497
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 1: Good job.

498
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 2: This is a person you block, You move on. You

499
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:08,120
Speaker 2: don't need to associate. Sophie has a new boyfriend. Surprisingly,

500
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 2: it's not Fred. It's some guy I don't know and

501
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 2: I don't want to know. Reading the comments from my

502
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,439
Speaker 2: last post about the situation, along with advice from some

503
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,919
Speaker 2: of my real friends and my boyfriend, has changed my

504
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,560
Speaker 2: mind about letting Sophie back in my life. I won't

505
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,919
Speaker 2: be her friend again, and that is the end of

506
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:23,439
Speaker 2: that story.

507
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 5: My friend group was ruined over a card game, and

508
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,120
Speaker 5: now I'm the villain.

509
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 6: And that's just how card games go.

510
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 5: There are three friends involved plus me, Jack twenty seven,

511
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 5: Nate twenty four, and my roommate fifty two.

512
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 4: Whoa, that's okay, I'm twenty three.

513
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 1: Okay.

514
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 5: We all like to hang out at my roommate and

515
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 5: I's house and play magic.

516
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:51,160
Speaker 4: The gathering.

517
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from Romantic Sunset and if

518
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 5: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

519
00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:00,159
Speaker 5: r slash Okay Storytime Supreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, I'm

520
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 5: ke On, and we're here to give good advice goofully,

521
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 5: but we.

522
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:04,760
Speaker 4: Don't have all the answers.

523
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,479
Speaker 5: We only know what we would do, So let us

524
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,919
Speaker 5: know what you would do in the comments and Opie

525
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,679
Speaker 5: says after some very rude comments were made by Jack

526
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 5: during one game, I went to text him how I

527
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 5: felt I'd give him all the grace in the world

528
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 5: and shown him extreme kindness and I wasn't pointing fingers

529
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,359
Speaker 5: or blaming him in any way, but he called me

530
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 5: names and yelled at me. Both my roommate and Nate

531
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,479
Speaker 5: agreed that Jack was being mean to me. That night,

532
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 5: I showed my roommate the text because they directly mentioned him,

533
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 5: but I left Nate out of it because I didn't

534
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:40,120
Speaker 5: want any mutual friendships to be broken. Just because Jack

535
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,880
Speaker 5: and I couldn't be friends doesn't mean the whole friend

536
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 5: group had to split. We were all independently friends before

537
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 5: coming together for Magic the Gathering. I feel like it's

538
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 5: disrespectful to involve mutual friends in a fight because it

539
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 5: burns more bridges than it needs to. Even though I

540
00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:00,119
Speaker 5: felt like and others agreed that Jack's behavior has it's

541
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 5: been slightly dismissive, gas lighty, defensive, and accusatory.

542
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 4: That isn't Nate's battle to choose sides.

543
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 5: Over Anyway, my roommate kept inviting everyone to play Magic,

544
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 5: and because of the words Jack used, I didn't feel

545
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,400
Speaker 5: safe to play with him anymore. I told my roommate

546
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 5: and Nate that I didn't feel safe to play with him.

547
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 5: After about three games of my roommate inviting Nate and

548
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 5: Jack overthrew group text, I asked if we could plan

549
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,880
Speaker 5: a time that me, my roommate, and Nate could play

550
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 5: together so that I could play too. My roommate was

551
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,159
Speaker 5: chill with it, so I asked Nate. Nate said he

552
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 5: didn't want to get in the middle of it. I

553
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 5: was honest about my feelings, but not in an accusatory way,

554
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 5: and said basically that by playing with Jack alone but

555
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,199
Speaker 5: not wanting to play with me alone, you kind of

556
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 5: are unintentionally taking side.

557
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,359
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, like you're not getting in the middle

558
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 6: of it if you're just doing a separate game. Yeah,

559
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,160
Speaker 6: I don't know what the issue is.

560
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:55,160
Speaker 5: Here, even though I didn't agree with him, I didn't

561
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 5: want to make him uncomfortable, so as a compromise, I

562
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 5: suggested that Nate and I I could go to dedicated

563
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 5: shops to play with strangers so we could still play

564
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:07,359
Speaker 5: the game together, or that Nate and I could play

565
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,960
Speaker 5: alone at his house with or without my roommate or Jack.

566
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 5: I thought that was the end of it. My roommate

567
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,919
Speaker 5: invited Nate and Jack back, so I decided I was

568
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 5: gonna watch a show all night upstairs. Apparently my roommate

569
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 5: double crossed Nate twice in a couple of games, and

570
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 5: Nate got extremely mad. Because shady politics is just a

571
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,919
Speaker 5: staple in our group. On all sides, except for me,

572
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 5: I've never broken a deal. My roommate said that if

573
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 5: Jack wasn't there, he would never win because of how

574
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 5: often Jack helps him and babysits him. Nate got even

575
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 5: more mad and explained that he didn't want to get

576
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 5: in the middle of it by playing with me and

577
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 5: my roommate but without Jack. Some other stuff happened, and

578
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 5: my roommate, also being mad, said that they were both

579
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 5: terrible people. He apologized and said that was too harsh,

580
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 5: but then said that what he meant was that they

581
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 5: were bad friends, and that by playing with Jack and

582
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 5: not me alone, Nate was already choosing sides. Nate stormed

583
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:06,160
Speaker 5: off and said he was never coming over again, nor

584
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 5: was he coming to any parties we had planned. I

585
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 5: never told my roommate to say this, and I've never

586
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 5: said anything to Nate, Jack or my roommate about being

587
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 5: good or bad friends.

588
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 4: From my questioning of my.

589
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 5: Roommate's point of view of the story, he said he

590
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,960
Speaker 5: never said something that would make it seem like he said,

591
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 5: Opie said you were bad friends, or anything like that.

592
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 5: But I don't know because I wasn't there. I said

593
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 5: to my roommate that I didn't want him speaking for me,

594
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 5: but that he was free to speak his mind about

595
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,920
Speaker 5: something he's passionate about, as long as he's not trying

596
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:39,439
Speaker 5: to justify it by just defending me or whatever. My

597
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,439
Speaker 5: roommate is my mom's boyfriend.

598
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 4: What so fifty two?

599
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 1: What Nate?

600
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 6: That makes even less sense to me. Now your room

601
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:48,639
Speaker 6: is your mom's boyfriend.

602
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 3: Why don't you stay with your mom?

603
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 6: I don't understand.

604
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 3: There's a lot of questions here.

605
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,879
Speaker 5: So I made it clear that I didn't want to

606
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 5: be defended just because I'm the daughter of his girlfriend.

607
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 4: Why do you listen together?

608
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 6: Yeah?

609
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 5: And he agreed, and he said everything from his heart

610
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 5: and observations.

611
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 4: I left Nate a text asking if he was okay. Nothing.

612
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:10,879
Speaker 5: The next day, I sent another text.

613
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 4: Nothing.

614
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 5: The next day, I called, not just because of the fight,

615
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 5: but also because I got a new job an wanted

616
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,119
Speaker 5: to talk about some good stuff I had done in

617
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 5: the past couple of days.

618
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 4: Nothing. To be honest, I feel pretty offended that he

619
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 4: would not talk to me.

620
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 5: I think, in combination with Jack probably talking about me

621
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 5: to him, my roommate being connected to my mom, has

622
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 5: probably made it seem like I was the one saying

623
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,679
Speaker 5: he was a bad friend, which.

624
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 4: I have never done.

625
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 5: But to connect a completely separate individual to another and

626
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 5: cut my friendship off over something that I didn't do.

627
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 4: Nor say is insane to me.

628
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,880
Speaker 5: If he's processing things and doesn't want to talk to anyone,

629
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,119
Speaker 5: then fine. But this man is going out of his

630
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 5: way to tiptoe around me specifically, and it's not cute.

631
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 5: Today I was playing Pokemon Go and opened up some

632
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 5: old gifts from friends and then sent some of my

633
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 5: own to Nate and Jack. Since they gave me some

634
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 5: a long time ago. This man was online and then

635
00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 5: turned his profile to offline manually because he saw that

636
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 5: I was also online. I know because it said he

637
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 5: caught a Pokemon today, and then after it was off

638
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,639
Speaker 5: it said he caught that same Pokemon yesterday. If you

639
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 5: guys know of another reason why this could happen in

640
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 5: Pokemon Go, let me know the fact.

641
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,680
Speaker 3: That we're this deep layers to that, like, oh man,

642
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 3: I'm going off line offline from Pokemon Go.

643
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 5: Could he maybe not have just stopped playing?

644
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 6: It sound stupid?

645
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 3: Yeah?

646
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 5: I feel like that is a bad friendship. I wish

647
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 5: him the best of luck if he's just trying to

648
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 5: process things. But if I have in fact been ghosted,

649
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 5: then if he ever contacts me again, would I be

650
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 5: the a hole for calling him a bad friend? Not

651
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 5: for everything beforehand, but for ignoring me because my roommate

652
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 5: who's my mom's boyfriend, pissed him off and made him angry.

653
00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 5: I plan on waiting another six days for him to

654
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 5: reach out to to me, because I've already reached out

655
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 5: three times. If he doesn't reach out to me in

656
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 5: six days, then the next time he does reach out

657
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 5: to me, I plan on calling him a bad friend

658
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 5: who runs away from problems at the expense of others friendship.

659
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:16,640
Speaker 5: That being a good friend means communicating and leveling up

660
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 5: your communications and interpersonal skills so that you can keep friendships.

661
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 5: That by being a bad friend, you give in to

662
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 5: your delusions and make assumptions about other people because it's

663
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 5: more comfortable for you to lose friendships and demonize other

664
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 5: people than to sit down and talk about your feelings

665
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 5: or communicate that I don't feel like my friendship means

666
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 5: a whole lot to him if you would rather be

667
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 5: comfortable in his lack of communication and without a friend,

668
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 5: rather than be uncomfortable communicating but having a friend by

669
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 5: their side. I agree this is all just really silly

670
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 5: for their age, really really silly. But I'm trying to

671
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 5: reread my messages and everything to see what I could

672
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 5: have done differently to handle each situation. Maybe I could

673
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 5: have let Nate see the text Jack sent to me

674
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 5: that we're so nasty, but still either way I'd be

675
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 5: the bad guy. I'd either let Nate see the texts

676
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 5: and then it's not in ad fight anymore, or I

677
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 5: don't and have a big chance like right now that

678
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 5: he takes Jack's side because Jack is very gas lighty

679
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:20,719
Speaker 5: and Nate stops talking to me. Or another one is

680
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 5: maybe I should have just played with them, but I

681
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 5: really really don't feel comfortable playing with Jack. I think

682
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 5: that if I have a boundary, sometimes I just need

683
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 5: to honor that boundary within reason. And I told all

684
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 5: three of them I was fine with them coming over

685
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 5: and playing without me. I'm kind of just in shock

686
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,959
Speaker 5: about it, which sounds silly because they've ghosted me before.

687
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 5: I had thought to myself the times they have that

688
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 5: maybe I could have handled something better, or I probably

689
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 5: shouldn't have said this thing. I got therapy and was

690
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 5: so proud to have them re enter my life again

691
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 5: with the new meat. It just makes me feel some

692
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 5: type of way, maybe powerless, maybe bitter, I don't know.

693
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 5: But doing everything right this time, not letting my ego

694
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 5: yell back, not being petty and spilling my business to

695
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 5: mutual parties unless it's necessary, using all the therapy speak

696
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 5: techniques so I have productive, constructive conversations in the world

697
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 5: didn't change anything.

698
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 6: I think the main issue here is that Opie's like,

699
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 6: you know what I had friend troubles with these people before,

700
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 6: and so I worked on myself, and then I came

701
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 6: back and realized that actually, nothing that I did can

702
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 6: fix the friend troubles because they're just not good friends.

703
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 6: And I think that's just the main we need to

704
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 6: boil it down to. They're just not good friends. Nothing

705
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 6: you can do is going to change that. And you're

706
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,479
Speaker 6: not the ale for calling them out, but let's just

707
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 6: move on from these friends.

708
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 3: Oh, boy, the fifty two year old doesn't see eye

709
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 3: to eye.

710
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 6: Well, no, it wasn't. The fifty two year old's chill.

711
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's Jack.

712
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 3: That's oh, it's Jack, Jack and Nate.

713
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 6: But the fifty two year old, I guess is chill

714
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 6: Opie's mom's boyfriend.

715
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:56,760
Speaker 3: Is chill Opie's mom's boyfriend. Slash Opie's roommate is also.

716
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 6: I think that if you are not going to be

717
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 6: friends with these people, I feel like you can absolutely

718
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 6: talk to your mom's boyfriend and be like, hey, can

719
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 6: you guys not do it at my place if I'm

720
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 6: not going to be playing.

721
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 5: With you guys, right, which OPI previously said, Hey, it's

722
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 5: fine if you want to keep playing here.

723
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 4: So I feel like you need to just say what

724
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 4: you want.

725
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, I'm a little confused because of how

726
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 3: it's just going on. Yeah, maybe just a little extra

727
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 3: too much fluff, I think a little bit.

728
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, Piggy to slaves is Yeah, OPI is so overpopulating

729
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 6: this with therapy speak.

730
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, there is more simply having one boundary crumbled the

731
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 5: entire foundation of a friendship or two. I know that

732
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 5: I can find new friends, but I don't want to.

733
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 5: I just want them to be the exact person, but

734
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 5: the more mature future version with a developed EQ.

735
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 4: And I said that the last time we had fights

736
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 4: and broke up too.

737
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 6: You can't change people.

738
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 3: You can't change people.

739
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, they can change.

740
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 3: They can change for the better, they can change for

741
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 3: the worse. It's out to them to change.

742
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 6: You can't change yourself, and that's all you can do.

743
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 3: The fact that you're like, I don't want to make

744
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 3: new friends. I want the old friends or the new

745
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,400
Speaker 3: friends that are, you know, more developed like old friends. Yeah,

746
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 3: it's just like, that's not how life works. Yeah, I'm sorry.

747
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 3: You either make new friends or your friends change, or

748
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 3: you revert back to your waist. It's not gonna be

749
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 3: the same. I'm sorry.

750
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, but this time and for a while I could

751
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 5: really have conversations with them where I told them basically.

752
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 4: Wow, did you get therapy?

753
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 5: You just seem actually thoughtful or something like that. I

754
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 5: can't stop rereading the text. After Jack and I stopped

755
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 5: talking for eight months and then rekindled our friendship. Someone

756
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 5: once said that self absorbed people act nice for a

757
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 5: while and then slowly take off their mask to see

758
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 5: what they can get away with. And it was so

759
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 5: nice in the beginning, it really was. And then he'd

760
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 5: start to sprinkle some offbeat comments every now and again,

761
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 5: nothing obviously mean stuff like think of how pretty you

762
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 5: could be if you just dressed for someone and act

763
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 5: like you cared. Yikes, And I do feel shame for

764
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 5: not doing all I could to be put together. I

765
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 5: like sweatpants and no makeup and double XL shure and

766
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 5: I don't like that. I like this, but the change

767
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 5: is more uncomfortable. Or one time he said that I

768
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 5: don't like to use my brain and I should look

769
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 5: for a job where I can just go on autopilot,

770
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 5: like being a cashier. He always knows exactly where to

771
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:18,799
Speaker 5: hit me where he knows that all bitechnicalities agree with him,

772
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 5: even though it's obviously cruel and meant to make me

773
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,760
Speaker 5: beneath him. I think part of me is in denial

774
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,920
Speaker 5: that he probably is a self absorbed person. I'm not

775
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:31,160
Speaker 5: just saying he's a knucklehead or selfish. I actually think

776
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 5: he has it in particular. I just don't know that

777
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 5: he has it. But every time I watch another YouTube video,

778
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 5: they describe the exact things he's doing, and I'm not

779
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 5: sure if I'm going down a delusional rabbit hole or

780
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,280
Speaker 5: if I'm seeing him clearly for the first time ever.

781
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 5: I just want him to go back to the beginning

782
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 5: Nate two, so they can be nice to me as

783
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 5: I am to them. I just want my friends back.

784
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 5: I'm not the type of person who can fill friends

785
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 5: with other friends. Every friend has a special place in

786
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 5: my heart that cannot be replaced with another.

787
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 4: I feel love extremely.

788
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 5: Deeply, as if my heart is being ripped out, or

789
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 5: I have a hole that I keep trying to fill

790
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 5: back up. I admit that I have a habit of

791
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,720
Speaker 5: having favorites. I like to try new things on the menu,

792
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,279
Speaker 5: but I'll always run back to my favorites. I like

793
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 5: to try new video games once every two years, but

794
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 5: my entire childhood was basically replaying the same five or

795
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 5: six games over and over.

796
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know. I think you just have to

797
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:29,800
Speaker 6: maybe go to therapy again and say, yeah, like, I

798
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 6: have this attachment to my friends. I really want them around,

799
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:37,400
Speaker 6: but they suck, so I gotta let them go. You

800
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 6: gotta release them into the wild.

801
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:44,560
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, I think this is friendship's over. You sound

802
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 5: like you don't enjoy having most conversations with them anyway,

803
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 5: because you already.

804
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 4: Think that they need to be using their Yeah, you're.

805
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 6: Like, they're not using the therapy speak that I.

806
00:35:54,560 --> 00:36:00,280
Speaker 5: Land, right, and they're just not nice. Yeah, however, t'shue

807
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 5: you think it is that you're not dressing to impress, Like, no,

808
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 5: that's what you're comfortable with, That's what you're gonna feel

809
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:07,719
Speaker 5: the best in that.

810
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

811
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:13,760
Speaker 5: Absolutely, I love what I fall in love with extremely deeply,

812
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:17,800
Speaker 5: and that includes these two friends. I have a couple

813
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,399
Speaker 5: more friends, but they just don't compare to these too.

814
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 5: That's why I came back so many other times we'd

815
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 5: have fights. I wonder if I'll ever meet someone else

816
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,760
Speaker 5: to fall in love with their friendship again.

817
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 6: A lot of.

818
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 5: People like or love me, but I fall for next

819
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 5: to no one in friendship and in love. But this

820
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 5: is just talking about friendship and that is the end

821
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 5: of that story.

822
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 1: Sam here og hos. We're gonna get back to these stories.

823
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

824
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 6: First, my ex dumps me, but still expected me to

825
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 6: drive her across states.

826
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 4: No, don't drive her anywhere.

827
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 6: Prior to breaking up last Wednesday, my girlfriend twenty three

828
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 6: female and I twenty seven male, had been together for

829
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 6: just over three years up until this past August. She

830
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 6: lived into Georgia, about two hours away from where I

831
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 6: was living in South Carolina. In August, she moved up

832
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 6: to New York for graduate school, and in order to

833
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 6: be closer to her, I found a job and moved

834
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 6: to DC. By the way, this comes from throw a

835
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,280
Speaker 6: eighty eight, and if you want to smit your own stories,

836
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 6: go to the r slash Okay storytime, separate it. I'm Sophia,

837
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 6: I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully,

838
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,319
Speaker 6: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

839
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 6: what we'd do, So let us know what you would

840
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 6: do in the comments and Things had been a bit

841
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 6: rough in the months leading up to August, and the

842
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,879
Speaker 6: stress of moving and starting grad school and a new

843
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 6: job certainly didn't help. Given the rough few months we

844
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 6: had had, she was left questioning whether or not she

845
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,799
Speaker 6: still wanted to be in a relationship with me. She

846
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 6: voiced her uncertainty to me on the phone last Monday

847
00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 6: and expressed to me that she had a strong desire

848
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,399
Speaker 6: to go out and have some experiences with other men,

849
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:51,719
Speaker 6: to go on dates and see what else was out there.

850
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 6: I told her this wasn't at all what I wanted,

851
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 6: that I wanted to work through these hard times together.

852
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,440
Speaker 6: She responded by saying if she didn't go out and

853
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:03,040
Speaker 6: have these experiences, even if things improved, she would always

854
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 6: regret it. And that's where we left things. When we

855
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 6: spoke the next day, she had decided she wanted to

856
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 6: come down to South Carolina and spend a few days

857
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:15,479
Speaker 6: with me for Thanksgiving break before returning home to visit

858
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 6: her family. There was one catch, though. On Friday the seventeenth,

859
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 6: I'm driving from DC to South Carolina on the sixteenth

860
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 6: for my birthday and Thanksgiving break, I was going to

861
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:29,800
Speaker 6: have to drive two hours from home in South Carolina

862
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:32,320
Speaker 6: to pick her up from the airport in North Carolina,

863
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 6: and then two hours back.

864
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 4: Y'all don't have an airport in South Carolina.

865
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 6: She can't get a taxi two hours.

866
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 4: That would be really expensive.

867
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:42,760
Speaker 6: Oh oh driving her back to Oh.

868
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:44,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, yea, oh, you're to pick her up so she

869
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 4: can hang out.

870
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 1: Got you?

871
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 6: The following Monday, I would have to drive her two

872
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 6: hours from home to take her to Georgia to be

873
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 6: with her family, and two hours back.

874
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: I don't know.

875
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 3: All I'd say is you want to go find new men.

876
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,360
Speaker 3: Find one of your new men to drive you or

877
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 3: pick you up. Either way. I'm new, so I.

878
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,280
Speaker 6: Can drive four hours for someone who wasn't sure about

879
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:08,920
Speaker 6: our relationship. And Sunday after Thanksgiving, I'd have to go

880
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:10,879
Speaker 6: two hours out of my way and pick her back

881
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 6: up in Georgia and then have a ride with me

882
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 6: all the way back to DC where she would fly

883
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,280
Speaker 6: out of New York. Now, at this point I voiced

884
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 6: my confusion given the conversation from the previous day.

885
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 4: He's like, do you remember that conversation? You should when

886
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 4: we broke up.

887
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, She's like, what are you talking about. She's like, no,

888
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:31,399
Speaker 6: that yeah, she's actually thought one positive experience together could

889
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 6: really turn things around, and that she wanted to give

890
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,280
Speaker 6: it a shot. She had the flight up and ready

891
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 6: to book, and there was only one seat left, so

892
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 6: despite my voicing my desire to talk things out first,

893
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:44,799
Speaker 6: she went ahead and booked it. The next day, I

894
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 6: tried to talk to her about her desire to date

895
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 6: other men and about how we could improve our relationship

896
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,400
Speaker 6: and work through the rough times we had been having,

897
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 6: and it ultimately led to our breaking up with me. Okay,

898
00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,759
Speaker 6: since then, we haven't had all that much community. She

899
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 6: has ignored most of my texts, and the one she

900
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:06,400
Speaker 6: has responded to she's been rather rude and me. I

901
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 6: pointed this out, and her response was, it's unreasonable of

902
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 6: you to expect us to be friendly right now. It's

903
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 6: too soon, which honestly I understand she's right. Then she

904
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 6: texted me and told me that she still needs me

905
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 6: to pick her up and take her home, and that

906
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 6: she still needs a ride with me back to d C.

907
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:25,240
Speaker 3: Oh, honey, that's too soon.

908
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 6: Oh it's too soon. That's so funny, that's crazy, that's wild.

909
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,280
Speaker 4: She broke up with you, still.

910
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 6: She broke up with you. And then she's like, you're

911
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:35,760
Speaker 6: still gonna drive me like eight hours?

912
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 5: Right, You're gonna go out of your way during your

913
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 5: trip home?

914
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 2: Right?

915
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 5: No?

916
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:41,960
Speaker 1: I don't think I am.

917
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 6: She doesn't have the money to change her flight, and

918
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 6: she doesn't have anyone else to pick her up.

919
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 3: Sucks the saw aw.

920
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 6: I told her I didn't feel I owed her that.

921
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 6: As she broke up with me, she pointed out that

922
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 6: I had committed to coming.

923
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:55,240
Speaker 1: No, you shouldn't.

924
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 5: She literally had literally had it like, maybe you shouldn't

925
00:40:58,000 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 5: do this.

926
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 6: Which I most certainly have. I asked her if I

927
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 6: was willing to come, if she would be able to

928
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 6: set aside or anger for a few hours and be friendly,

929
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 6: and she said she would do her best to be cordial,

930
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 6: but being friendly was too much to ask. And no, no,

931
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 6: she would sit in the back and work the whole ride.

932
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 1: So you're her free.

933
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 4: Uber, No, all, do not do that.

934
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 6: My question is, do I still owe it to her

935
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 6: to go and pick her up?

936
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 5: No?

937
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 6: Would it be selfish of me to tell her she

938
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 6: needed to work this out on her own.

939
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 5: No?

940
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,319
Speaker 6: I really don't want to leave her stranded, but I

941
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:36,839
Speaker 6: don't feel this is really my responsibility anymore. What do

942
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:40,160
Speaker 6: I do here? You say, no, we're broken up. Sorry,

943
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:40,919
Speaker 6: figure it out?

944
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,640
Speaker 4: Sorry, literally, that's it again.

945
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 3: Like I said, use that excuse of mmm, maybe this

946
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 3: is the perfect time for you to find some other

947
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 3: boys you want to talk to. Yet you can do

948
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 3: that by bye.

949
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:57,359
Speaker 6: If she didn't have the money to go get some

950
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 6: sort of travel, then she shouldn't be traveled or you know,

951
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:01,720
Speaker 6: travel coommodations.

952
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 4: The plate in the first place.

953
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,920
Speaker 5: Find cheaper travel if you need to, yep, tell her

954
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 5: to take the train, if you just have one.

955
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 6: Take a bus. Figure it out. It's not Ope's problem.

956
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 6: Relevant comments Cannibal one says, don't drive her. She can

957
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,719
Speaker 6: get an uber or lift. She broke up with you

958
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 6: and doesn't want to get back together. She's saying things

959
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:21,439
Speaker 6: like this experience might bring me back to you, might

960
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 6: make our relationship better, And that's a manipulation tactic to

961
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 6: get you to drive her. Don't fall for it. And

962
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,359
Speaker 6: we got an update so bad to get in to.

963
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 6: To those of you that have said I'm being a doormat,

964
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 6: you're one hundred percent correct, And I have been for yeah,

965
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 6: pretty much our entire relationship. I try my best to

966
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 6: be kind to people regardless of how they treat me,

967
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 6: but at some point you have to have a little

968
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:44,400
Speaker 6: self respect. Anyhow, I had pretty much decided not to

969
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 6: pick her up prior to seeing all of your replies

970
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:50,360
Speaker 6: and reading through them as solidified my decision. I just

971
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 6: texted her saying, given the fact that you just broke

972
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 6: up with me, and that, in your own words, it's

973
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,240
Speaker 6: too early to expect to be friendly with one another,

974
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 6: I'm not okay with coming to pick you up on

975
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:02,360
Speaker 6: Friday or thanking you to DC on Sunday. Sitting a

976
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:04,399
Speaker 6: car with you for twenty plus hours when you can't

977
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 6: even be friendly with me will only make it harder

978
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 6: for me to recover from this breakup, and I'm not

979
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,279
Speaker 6: willing to do that to myself. Hope you're able to

980
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,279
Speaker 6: find another way home, and I hope you have a

981
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 6: wonderful Thanksgiving with your family. Sorry for any inconvenience this causes,

982
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:18,960
Speaker 6: best of luck to you.

983
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:19,400
Speaker 3: Good for you.

984
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 6: Honestly, I'll just finish it's two cents.

985
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 1: Good for you.

986
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 6: You did it? Yeah so oh, he says, I didn't

987
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:26,359
Speaker 6: have it in me to be rudoer, but I got

988
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 6: the message across nonetheless, and someone asked, did she reply.

989
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 1: She did not.

990
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 6: She's usually pretty avoided when she's upset, so I don't

991
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 6: expect to hear from her. Yeah, definitely don't drive her for.

992
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:38,880
Speaker 4: You A good message to send to the way you

993
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 4: raised everything.

994
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:43,760
Speaker 6: Absolutely very nice and that, folks, is the end.

995
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 1: Of that story. Hey is John Ogi host.

996
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick

997
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,319
Speaker 2: free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

998
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 6: My husband's innocent friend cross the line, so I confronted him.

999
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:55,800
Speaker 1: This line is broken.

1000
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,320
Speaker 6: My husband and I have been married for six years

1001
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,280
Speaker 6: and I've been friends for eleven years total, no kids.

1002
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 6: It all started around April of this year when my

1003
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:08,240
Speaker 6: husband reconnected with an old female friend from high school.

1004
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:09,600
Speaker 1: Hmmm ha.

1005
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 6: They began talking, even add a couple of calls, and

1006
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:15,680
Speaker 6: I didn't think anything of it at first. By the way,

1007
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 6: this comes from mental fatigue zero nine. And if you

1008
00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 6: want to sumit your own stories, go to the r

1009
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:23,760
Speaker 6: slash Okay storytime suburtt. I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Carly,

1010
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:25,840
Speaker 6: and we're here to give good advice. Goofley, But we

1011
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 6: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

1012
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:30,360
Speaker 6: So let us know what you would do in the comments,

1013
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:33,480
Speaker 6: and op says, my husband has always had more female

1014
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:38,000
Speaker 6: than male friends. He's kind, very anti macho, manned, and easygoing,

1015
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 6: so I understand why women feel comfortable around him. This

1016
00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:44,200
Speaker 6: has never been an issue. When we began dating, he

1017
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:46,880
Speaker 6: introduced me to his female best friend at the time,

1018
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:50,359
Speaker 6: and she was a blast zero bells. But with this

1019
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:54,439
Speaker 6: girl from high school, something felt different. I've never been

1020
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 6: insecure about a relationship or his friends, but then I

1021
00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 6: began to notice these little things. She'd call him bestie

1022
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,279
Speaker 6: and say these exact phrases. You're the only one I

1023
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:08,279
Speaker 6: can talk to. You don't disappear on me. You're the

1024
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 6: only friend I've ever had. She would also send pictures

1025
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 6: and videos of what she was doing, from work, outfit pics, selfies,

1026
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:17,720
Speaker 6: and even a few mirror picks and a video showing

1027
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 6: off her room. Another thing that felt odd was that

1028
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 6: she claimed to have severe social anxiety, so after being

1029
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 6: alone in a new country for about seven years, she

1030
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:31,360
Speaker 6: didn't have a single friend, just two acquaintances. Her words,

1031
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:33,880
Speaker 6: she had a lot of stories like that, all about

1032
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:36,319
Speaker 6: very bad things that had happened to her, and now

1033
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,239
Speaker 6: everything always seemed to go wrong. I couldn't tell if

1034
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 6: she was being honest or fishing for a pity party. Later,

1035
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 6: I learned that when they first reconnected and he told

1036
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 6: her he was married, she responded with, I'm glad for you.

1037
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 6: You know. I think you don't remember this, but I

1038
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 6: had a crush on you back in high school. I

1039
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 6: even sent you a long text about it before I

1040
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 6: moved abroad, and you just responded with something like, oh,

1041
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:00,479
Speaker 6: thank you for telling me. I never said anything else.

1042
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:04,359
Speaker 6: I got embarrassed and deleted everything. The confession was sent

1043
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:07,440
Speaker 6: right before she left to live abroad. Mind you, they

1044
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 6: hadn't talked since high school, and she was moving away

1045
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 6: about five years later, so it was all this time

1046
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:15,319
Speaker 6: without hearing from her. And then she sent that I

1047
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 6: met her twice and she seemed nice. But then she

1048
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 6: was making plans over the phone to do things with

1049
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 6: my husband one on one, like we should have a picnic,

1050
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,279
Speaker 6: buy desserts and share them over a movie, buy air, drink,

1051
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 6: clay and sculpt figures and poorly paint each other. These

1052
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 6: are all plans she suggested. This seemed off to me

1053
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 6: because while she acted nice, she never tried to include

1054
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 6: me in any of these plans. They never actually did

1055
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:40,239
Speaker 6: any of it, and it went on and off for

1056
00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 6: a few months. For a while, my husband even stopped

1057
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 6: talking to her because she's always complaining about something bad

1058
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 6: going on. It's a lot I don't like it. Eventually

1059
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:53,080
Speaker 6: they resumed talking, though, and she still made me feel uncomfortable. Somehow,

1060
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,680
Speaker 6: I realized I was starting to feel jealous and a

1061
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 6: little insecure, which I have never been prone to. So

1062
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:01,279
Speaker 6: it surprised me, and after a few weeks I brought

1063
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 6: it up with my husband. He assured me she was

1064
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:06,400
Speaker 6: just a friend and it was nothing to worry about.

1065
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:10,120
Speaker 6: He was also surprised because I've never been the jealous type.

1066
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 6: Despite me bringing up, the situation didn't change much. They

1067
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:16,280
Speaker 6: just seemed to talk less, but her attitude was the same.

1068
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:19,480
Speaker 6: I tried to work through it by myself, sought advice,

1069
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:22,759
Speaker 6: read a lot, wrote down my feelings, and even talked

1070
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 6: to a close friend for outside perspective. I only brought

1071
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:28,719
Speaker 6: it up once again, but the conversation kind of diverted,

1072
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 6: so it wasn't really helpful. Despite this all, I couldn't

1073
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:34,800
Speaker 6: bring myself to like her at all. When I decided

1074
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:36,720
Speaker 6: to bring it up the first time, he said something

1075
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 6: that had me thinking, I thought something like this might

1076
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:41,280
Speaker 6: happen because it happened before.

1077
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:42,280
Speaker 1: He had a very.

1078
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:45,360
Speaker 6: Controlling, intense and kind of mean girlfriend in high school,

1079
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 6: and when she saw my husband and this same girl

1080
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:51,240
Speaker 6: being friends at the time, she forbade him from talking

1081
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 6: to her altogether. Because my husband was thirteen, young and malleable,

1082
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 6: he just stopped talking to her and ignored her in class.

1083
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:01,760
Speaker 6: Thing is this past mean girlfriend forbade him from talking

1084
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:05,359
Speaker 6: to any girls at all, not just her. I knew

1085
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:08,360
Speaker 6: of this mean ext girlfriend already, just not in this context.

1086
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:11,080
Speaker 6: Then last Saturday, as my husband was in the bathroom

1087
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 6: before we went to bed, his phone chimed with a notification.

1088
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:18,880
Speaker 6: When I looked, without ill intentions, my eyes just skimmed

1089
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 6: the suddenly lit screen. I saw her name pop up

1090
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:24,080
Speaker 6: in the open chat sitting there once again. It was

1091
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 6: a longish text of her saying how she could only

1092
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,960
Speaker 6: talk to him about her issues and how thankful she

1093
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 6: was to have him back in her life. Most of

1094
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 6: his answers were fairly platonic. Maybe one or two that

1095
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 6: made me frown a little, but nothing worth worrying about.

1096
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:39,640
Speaker 6: He listens to people, so I really do understand that

1097
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 6: she'd feel comfortable talking about her issues. Still, it seemed

1098
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 6: that she was putting all of her emotional weight on him.

1099
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 6: She had okay moments too, where she acted with what

1100
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:51,920
Speaker 6: seemed to be purely platonic intentions, So it made me

1101
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,239
Speaker 6: wonder if I was reading too much into it. At time,

1102
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:57,440
Speaker 6: it was reading that text that sent me spiraling down

1103
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:00,759
Speaker 6: a terrible rabbit hole of negative thoughts. I spent the

1104
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 6: entire night unable to sleep at all, and brought it

1105
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,399
Speaker 6: up with my husband once again the next morning. I'm

1106
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 6: as transparent as one comes with my emotions, so he

1107
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:12,160
Speaker 6: took one look at me and asked, what's wrong? Except

1108
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 6: I wasn't calm and meek like the previous times. I

1109
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 6: was a mess. I told him everything, my fears, how

1110
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 6: I've been dealing with my own emotions and thoughts regarding

1111
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:26,359
Speaker 6: this for months now, how I'm sure he doesn't see

1112
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:29,080
Speaker 6: it and thinks it all is platonic, and how I

1113
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:32,440
Speaker 6: trust him. But it's her that was too much, especially

1114
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:36,440
Speaker 6: because she seemed cloaked under this poor harmless girl attitude.

1115
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 6: I got a little worked up towards the end, but

1116
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 6: we sat down and he said, talk tell me everything,

1117
00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:45,239
Speaker 6: so I did. He was quiet for a while and

1118
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:48,400
Speaker 6: then said very clearly that I am his priority and

1119
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 6: that he'd never put anyone above me. He apologized for

1120
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:53,920
Speaker 6: anything he had said that hurt me, even if it

1121
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:56,760
Speaker 6: was by accident, and said that if I'm so upset

1122
00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 6: about this girl, then I'll just stop talking to her.

1123
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,760
Speaker 6: Part of me wan that part of me felt relieved

1124
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 6: to hear that, But I am too self aware to

1125
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 6: not see how that can be damaging to our relationship

1126
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 6: in the future and create resentment. And I told him so. Still,

1127
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:12,279
Speaker 6: he assured me that it.

1128
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 1: Was the only thing he could do. He didn't know what.

1129
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 6: Else to say about it, but he was glad that

1130
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 6: I spoke to him and didn't keep this bottled up

1131
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 6: inside any longer. I understand him not knowing what else

1132
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 6: to say, because to him this came a little out

1133
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 6: of the blue, since I had been swallowing my emotions

1134
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 6: for months instead of properly talking to him.

1135
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:33,239
Speaker 2: Well, I do think that there is something of like, Yeah,

1136
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:36,400
Speaker 2: it's like if you just in a relationship, are constantly

1137
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,920
Speaker 2: being like, Oh, you can't do this, you can't do that,

1138
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:40,440
Speaker 2: you can't do this, you can't see that person you

1139
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 2: can't do this thing, yeah, and they're just like okay, okay,

1140
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 2: then sure that could breed resentment.

1141
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 1: But like if you bring this to your partner and

1142
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:49,080
Speaker 1: then they're just like okay.

1143
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:51,960
Speaker 2: Well then I'll just like not, you know, I'll remove

1144
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,960
Speaker 2: that as a variable and they and then you're like.

1145
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:56,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you will't that make you hate me later?

1146
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 2: And he's like no, I mean I don't know, but

1147
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:01,280
Speaker 2: I'm willing to do that right now.

1148
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 1: That's okay.

1149
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 6: I think you just let Yeah. We've read a lot

1150
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 6: of stories where people are like, oh, well I don't

1151
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:06,719
Speaker 6: want you to No, I don't want you to do that,

1152
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:07,799
Speaker 6: and it's like, I don't know.

1153
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:09,760
Speaker 1: They're offering that's the solution.

1154
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's the solution.

1155
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:13,680
Speaker 1: And it doesn't have to mean that he's gonna hate you.

1156
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 6: Later, especially, I mean if you're not doing it, just

1157
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 6: like be aware of you know, is this something that

1158
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:19,919
Speaker 6: you're always doing or is it just in this case

1159
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:21,840
Speaker 6: where this person is crossing a line.

1160
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:25,560
Speaker 2: It's when it's every single person that's when it's like okay,

1161
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:27,560
Speaker 2: that's not or when it's like, yeah, the thing that

1162
00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 2: you love doing the most, I hate that you do

1163
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 2: that you can't do that.

1164
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:34,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's different. Today he seems perfectly fine. Yet I

1165
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:37,280
Speaker 6: can't help but feel guilty about this. My husband doesn't

1166
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 6: have many close friends, and he seemed happy to be

1167
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:41,960
Speaker 6: getting close to this high school friend again. But she

1168
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 6: didn't seem as harmless as she made herself to be.

1169
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 6: I just don't want to be like his controlling old

1170
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:49,360
Speaker 6: high school ex girlfriend. Lastly, I'm debating if I should

1171
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:51,160
Speaker 6: talk to him again and ask him about how he

1172
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:54,160
Speaker 6: feels sometime this week after he's had a hard time

1173
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 6: to process it better, though I don't think he'd say

1174
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:58,759
Speaker 6: much he's never been big with words, or if I

1175
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:00,799
Speaker 6: should just let it go and we're on improving our

1176
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:04,240
Speaker 6: relationship and trust. Did I do the wrong thing? Update?

1177
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:06,400
Speaker 6: I've been doing some thinking, and now that I have

1178
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 6: told my husband everything, it feels as if I can

1179
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:11,799
Speaker 6: finally look back in hindsight and notice things that I

1180
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 6: was trying to convince myself were harmless. I thought my

1181
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 6: anger and frustration were unjustified. But if I never cared

1182
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:21,200
Speaker 6: about any other female friends, why would I suddenly be

1183
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:23,719
Speaker 6: so bothered by this one? If I didn't have a

1184
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 6: real reason because she didn't act like just a friend.

1185
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:30,280
Speaker 6: She was an incredibly upfriend, as I've read other stories

1186
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,520
Speaker 6: in here, with a new friend almost immediately went for

1187
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 6: a confession and let's run away together plan. But it

1188
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,759
Speaker 6: was as if her small actions were an attempt to

1189
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:41,360
Speaker 6: chip away at my marriage, all hidden under a false pretense.

1190
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 6: That or she's really clueless and didn't realize what she

1191
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:46,839
Speaker 6: was doing. I know some people latch onto others as

1192
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 6: a trauma response, and she's gone through terrible things, and

1193
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:52,839
Speaker 6: it seems that the only friendship she ever made back

1194
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:56,120
Speaker 6: then was with my husband. Still, she needs to seek

1195
00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:58,960
Speaker 6: proper help then, and if that's not the case, then

1196
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,880
Speaker 6: she really needed to go. Even if she believed herself

1197
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:05,839
Speaker 6: to be completely innocent, the way she acted implied the opposite.

1198
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:08,280
Speaker 6: I decided to talk to my husband one more time,

1199
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 6: just to make sure my point came across properly. Though

1200
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:13,560
Speaker 6: I never suggested he should stop talking to her. When

1201
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:16,560
Speaker 6: I told him everything that's been bothering me, his immediate

1202
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 6: response was to stop talking to her. He didn't phrase

1203
00:53:19,560 --> 00:53:21,920
Speaker 6: it as do you want me to? But as she

1204
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,880
Speaker 6: upsets you, so I won't talk to her anymore. Perfect.

1205
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:29,279
Speaker 1: Perfect That is the blueprint, yes, for how to do that.

1206
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 6: So it feels good. Someamow to know that I didn't

1207
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:34,360
Speaker 6: put these words in his mouth and that he offered

1208
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 6: to end the friendship any final lots.

1209
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 2: I mean, you gotta be able to talk about stuff

1210
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 2: in a relationship. Yeah, And I remember at one point

1211
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:46,040
Speaker 2: I was in a relationship and I said something along

1212
00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:48,360
Speaker 2: the lines of like, yeah, like I don't know, like

1213
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:49,279
Speaker 2: I just don't think.

1214
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, like, how did I put it? Basically?

1215
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 2: What the after talking, the conclusion was like, yeah, as

1216
00:53:57,560 --> 00:54:00,200
Speaker 2: long as we never talk about any relationship is she used,

1217
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:01,000
Speaker 2: and then we'll be fine.

1218
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 1: It's terrible, which was not good.

1219
00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:07,319
Speaker 2: That's bad, It's very bad bad, and you can't have

1220
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 2: a healthy relationship that way.

1221
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 6: We never talk about the issues. But there's a little

1222
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:13,960
Speaker 6: bit left still. I wanted one last conversation to let

1223
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,799
Speaker 6: him understand my reasoning now that I feel better and

1224
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:18,760
Speaker 6: we'll be able to talk about it without being a mess,

1225
00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:21,280
Speaker 6: and so that he had time to process his emotions.

1226
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 1: It went okay.

1227
00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:25,399
Speaker 6: Honestly, he listened and said he seemed okay these days

1228
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:28,800
Speaker 6: because he's truly been okay. He's not upset about the friendship.

1229
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 6: And the only thing that did upset him. Was that

1230
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:34,239
Speaker 6: I bottled up my emotions. He told me, we need

1231
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 6: to tell each other how we feel. You need to

1232
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 6: tell me these things. If something upsets you or hurts you,

1233
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:40,200
Speaker 6: I want to know