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Speaker 1: Pushkin. If you've ever read the first few books of

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Speaker 1: the Hebrew Bible, then you know that there's a lot

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Speaker 1: going on. There are sweeping tales of cruelty, slavery, and destruction.

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Speaker 1: There are plagues and floods and desert wanderings. And there

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Speaker 1: are even smaller domestic stories of bitter sibling rivalries and

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Speaker 1: loving reconciliation. People have argued about and debated this text

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Speaker 1: for thousands of years. How literally should we take the

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Speaker 1: words on the page, how should we apply the text

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Speaker 1: to the modern world, and do we really understand its

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Speaker 1: true meaning? But there's one instruction from the Torah that

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Speaker 1: is crystal clear. Take a day off from the very

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Speaker 1: very beginning. When the Torah first describes the making of

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Speaker 1: the universe, it clearly explains that the creator took a

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Speaker 1: whole day long break from his work. That idea of

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Speaker 1: twenty four hours of rest is even included is one

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Speaker 1: of the ten commandments. Now, I'm not usually one to

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Speaker 1: flo out the commandments, but taking a break from work

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Speaker 1: isn't an instruction that I find all that easy to observe,

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Speaker 1: and neither did Sarah Hurwitz. She and I both grew

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Speaker 1: up sharing a college culture that seemed to almost frown

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Speaker 1: upon enjoying downtime. Going to college at a school like Harvard,

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Speaker 1: you know, there's almost this like cult of hard cornice

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Speaker 1: where it's like how many all nighters do you pull

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Speaker 1: and how much work can you do? You know, there

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Speaker 1: was a sense that, oh, good, Saturday's more time for work.

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Speaker 1: It's so easy to fill every available hour with work.

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Speaker 1: I remember like we would kind of look at classmates

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Speaker 1: who were kind of laid back and who kind of

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Speaker 1: just like enjoyed themselves and be like, oh, that person's

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Speaker 1: just they're kind of a partier. Like they're not you know,

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Speaker 1: they're not what a loser? Yeah, I mean it was

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Speaker 1: like so ridiculous. And by the way, I have to say,

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Speaker 1: I think about the guys down the hall for me

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Speaker 1: who were like partiers and who kind of you know,

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Speaker 1: had a lot of fun and relax and they're all

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Speaker 1: like millionaires, Like they found in some company and became

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Speaker 1: so wealthy just on my Okay, clearly they were onto something.

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Speaker 1: Then after college, I stayed in academia and took a

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Speaker 1: job in the Ivy League, which isn't usually known for

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Speaker 1: its chill, slacker vibe. But Sarah moved on to an

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Speaker 1: even more extreme workplace, one that's famously on twenty four

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Speaker 1: to seven the White House. You really have no life,

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Speaker 1: right like work. You were just constantly working. You're never

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Speaker 1: off right, You're always available. That's kind of the definition

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Speaker 1: of a really good political staffer is always available. You know,

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Speaker 1: anytime you call email, I will pick up, I will

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Speaker 1: answer within seconds. That's what kind of distinguishes a really

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Speaker 1: great staffer. And so, you know, there were just times

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Speaker 1: when I got exhausted. I was working on Hillary Clinton's

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Speaker 1: campaign for president in two thousand and eight, and I

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Speaker 1: dropped a glass in my kitchen one night, just when

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Speaker 1: I was making dinner, and I just thought like I

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Speaker 1: was just like looking at all the shards on the

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Speaker 1: floor and just thinking like, oh my gosh, the idea

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Speaker 1: of cleaning this up is so exhausting, And so I

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Speaker 1: just didn't clean it up for weeks. I would just

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Speaker 1: wear flipflops in my kitchen, which is like, that's really extreme, right,

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Speaker 1: It's it's just exhausting, and it starts to feel a

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Speaker 1: little bit to humanizing, right. You just start to feel

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Speaker 1: like you are just kind of plowing for your days

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Speaker 1: in this kind of state. Of work. It's not a

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Speaker 1: great way to live. You got so few breaks. You

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Speaker 1: couldn't even take a break when you were like taking

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Speaker 1: a shower, right right, there was There was one time

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Speaker 1: when I took my phone into the shower in a

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Speaker 1: plastic bag because I was afraid of missing a call.

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Speaker 1: This was on a political campaign, and yeah, it was

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Speaker 1: a bit much. Now, these sorts of behaviors might sound

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Speaker 1: a bit extreme, but many of us struggle to keep

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Speaker 1: work from invading our lives, from our meal times, to

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Speaker 1: our gym sessions, even to our date nights. The good

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Speaker 1: news is that Sarah eventually found a solution to this

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Speaker 1: happiness sapping of session with work, and she found that

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Speaker 1: solution in Judaism. Welcome back to Happiness Lessons of the

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Speaker 1: Ancients with me, Doctor Laurie Santos. As we learned in

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Speaker 1: the last episode, Sarah Hurwitz found herself struggling to feel

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Speaker 1: happier in her mid thirties and was looking to make

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Speaker 1: some changes, so she decided to learn more about Judaism,

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Speaker 1: the religious faith she had not given much thought to

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Speaker 1: since she was a kid. You can read about it

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Speaker 1: in her book here. All along finding meaning, spirituality and

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Speaker 1: a deeper connection to life in Judaism after finally choosing

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Speaker 1: to look there. One of the biggest revelations Sarah took

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Speaker 1: from Judaism was about overfilling her life with work and striving.

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Speaker 1: She learned that joy could be found once you start

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Speaker 1: questioning that twenty four seven work culture. You know, it's funny,

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Speaker 1: I look back to my childhood in the eighties, and

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Speaker 1: there was like all this unstructured time. You know. I

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Speaker 1: think about the weekends, you know, as a child, and like,

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Speaker 1: you know, my dad would take us hiking or bowling

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Speaker 1: or fishing, and there was no rushing. We weren't rushing

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Speaker 1: to get anywhere. We were just being were just sitting

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Speaker 1: there fishing, or we were hiking and looking out, or

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Speaker 1: my brother and I were playing outside or going biking.

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Speaker 1: Like there was not this of franticness of rush of

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Speaker 1: like I have to achieve all of these things. There

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Speaker 1: was actually a real break and I think in our

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Speaker 1: modern times and also as an adult, I really lost

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Speaker 1: that it's so relentless. It is so relentless, and it

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Speaker 1: really is fueled by this very consumerist ethic, which is

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Speaker 1: like you don't have enough, you are not enough, right,

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Speaker 1: That is the core fundamental consumerist ethic is not enough.

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Speaker 1: And so what you have to do to alleviate that

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Speaker 1: is you have to get stuff, and to get stuff

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Speaker 1: you have to work harder. And so you work harder

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Speaker 1: so that you can get more stuff, which requires you

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Speaker 1: to work harder so that you can get more stuff.

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Speaker 1: It's this kind of endless cycle of working and getting

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Speaker 1: working and getting and ultimately getting all this stuff. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily make us happier, you know, I'm sure you know, right,

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Speaker 1: there is a limit to the minimum income, after which

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Speaker 1: point you don't get happier. And it's much lower than

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Speaker 1: you would think. Yeah, I mean the research shows, in

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Speaker 1: some of the research, it shows it's around seventy five K,

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Speaker 1: you know, which is much lower than many people think.

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Speaker 1: But we still feel like, you know, if we could

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Speaker 1: get more money, get more stuff, just not cease doing whatever,

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Speaker 1: we would be happier. But this seems to conflict with

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Speaker 1: one of the like earliest passages in the Torah, maybe

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Speaker 1: one of the most important, right, and so talk to

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Speaker 1: me about you know where Judaism says that this sort

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Speaker 1: of approach might not work very well. Yes, so it's

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Speaker 1: actually in the Ten Commandments believe it or not, where

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Speaker 1: one of the ten commandments is basically to celebrate Shabbat.

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Speaker 1: It's to rest on Shabbat, which is generally understood to

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Speaker 1: be Friday evening to Saturday evening, about twenty five hours.

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Speaker 1: And not only are you supposed to rest, but you

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Speaker 1: are the touras says, to let your servants, your animals,

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Speaker 1: and the stranger within your midst That's just like if

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Speaker 1: someone outside the tribe, like a non Israelite is visiting,

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Speaker 1: everyone has to rest. Which is kind of amazing to

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Speaker 1: think that, like your animals even after rest, all right,

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Speaker 1: Like that's like like really like the cattle rest. But

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Speaker 1: I think that, you know, like with much interpretation of

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Speaker 1: the Torah, I really look at this much more metaphorically

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Speaker 1: of you know, when we are just constantly endlessly working

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Speaker 1: and striving and feeling like that not enough, you do

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Speaker 1: begin to feel a little like an animal, right, Like

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Speaker 1: you're like a workhorse with blinders on, just kind of

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Speaker 1: plow in the field. You know, you can you feel

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Speaker 1: like a servant. You really feel like you're just serving

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Speaker 1: whoever it is you're serving your boss, the almighty dollar

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Speaker 1: or whatever, and you can start to feel like a

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Speaker 1: stranger in your own life, kind of alienated from yourself,

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Speaker 1: and so that wisdom that says, actually stop, like get

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Speaker 1: off of this, not enough, need more train and just

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Speaker 1: create an entirely different space for those twenty five hours.

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Speaker 1: And this is something that like God in the Tora

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Speaker 1: actually embodied himself right in the beginning, yes, right, like

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Speaker 1: after creating the world over a period of six days,

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Speaker 1: God rests, right like God does the first shabat basically

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Speaker 1: in the Torah. In the book you mentioned this idea.

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Speaker 1: You know, we think of Sabbat as being about rest,

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Speaker 1: but the translation isn't exactly rest when you think about it, right,

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Speaker 1: You're exactly right. It's not rest. That's a different word.

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Speaker 1: Shabat really means stop, cease, pause. So it's kind of

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Speaker 1: funny because you know, you could say, well, I think

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Speaker 1: it's really RESTful to watch Netflix and you catch up

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Speaker 1: on my email and go and spend a lot of

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Speaker 1: money at local stores, and like that might actually be

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Speaker 1: RESTful for you, but that's not what shabat is. Shabbat

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Speaker 1: is actually it's a pause from your weekday life. So

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Speaker 1: if you kind of observe shabat in a very very

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Speaker 1: traditional way, there are so many rules. I mean, it

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Speaker 1: almost seems a little crazy, where it's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: you don't use electricity, so you're not you know, you

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Speaker 1: can't be on screens. You don't spend money, so you

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Speaker 1: can't go out and buy things. So many rules, which

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Speaker 1: before I really started understanding shabbat, I looked at it

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Speaker 1: and just thought, like I got all these rules, like

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Speaker 1: come on, you know what, you can't take the elevator,

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Speaker 1: so it's what is it really more RESTful to walk

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Speaker 1: up seven flights of stairs? Like that's silly. But I

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Speaker 1: now understand that what people who observe shabat in this

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Speaker 1: rigorous way are doing is they are basically plugging up

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Speaker 1: every nook and cranny through which the secular world, the

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Speaker 1: workday world, can see, and they're creating an entirely different space.

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Speaker 1: So when I've spent time with Jews who are observing

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Speaker 1: shabat and this really rigorous way, it's like time has

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Speaker 1: a different texture. Like there are no phones. No one

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Speaker 1: is looking at their phone, nothing is buzzing or beeping

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Speaker 1: or grinding, Like there's none of that mechanical noise. No

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Speaker 1: one is rushing to go anywhere. Right, They're not. They're

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Speaker 1: not driving places, they're not rushing to go places. It

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Speaker 1: feels different, like it actually like everyone is there, people

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Speaker 1: are present, Like when you are you at a Shabat

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Speaker 1: meal with people who are really in it. People are

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Speaker 1: like actually talking to each other in a super engaged way.

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Speaker 1: Kids are just kind of running around playing outside, and

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Speaker 1: time feels languid. It kind of just stretches out before you,

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Speaker 1: and it's really beautiful. It feels so different from the

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Speaker 1: rest of the week. And I think in way, Shabbat

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Speaker 1: helps us kind of recapture some of that nineteen eighties

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Speaker 1: childhood sense of just this long day stretching ahead of you,

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Speaker 1: where there's nothing to achieve, there's nowhere to be, there's

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Speaker 1: nothing that has to be done on some schedule. There's

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Speaker 1: just a sense of openness of just instead of doing,

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Speaker 1: it's being And that is really powerful transition and one

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Speaker 1: that I think so many of us just desperately need

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Speaker 1: now and it's so hard to do. Do you think

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Speaker 1: folks who are really observing Shabbat in that way are

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Speaker 1: happier in those moments? I do, I really do. I mean,

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Speaker 1: so many Jews who I know who observed Shabat they're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: Shabbat saves my life every week, right, Like it just

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Speaker 1: gets you off that train of I'm not rich enough,

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Speaker 1: thin enough, beautiful enough, this enough, that enough, and you

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Speaker 1: just say no, I'm enough, I'm just enough. And I

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Speaker 1: think that during the week, you're so often listening to

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Speaker 1: so many other people's voices, right your boss, all the

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Speaker 1: ads that are barraging you from TV, Facebook and the

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Speaker 1: internet whatever, and on Shabbat you actually you literally shut

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Speaker 1: all of that off. So like, whose voices are you

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Speaker 1: listening to on Shabbat? The voices of people you love

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Speaker 1: and your own voice? Like for me, you know, I

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Speaker 1: actually tried in the White House for a period of

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Speaker 1: months to have a pretty rigorous Shabbat practice, and my

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Speaker 1: colleagues were super supportive. They were so wonderful. Like I

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Speaker 1: explained to them, like, look, if you it's an emergency,

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Speaker 1: you call me, but I'm not checking email. And they

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Speaker 1: were like great or so proud of you. And you know,

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Speaker 1: when I had this practice, it was like the first

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Speaker 1: time I actually had space to just hear my own

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Speaker 1: voice and hear my own thoughts rather than constantly thinking like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you know what would missus Obama want to say, or

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Speaker 1: what do my colleagues need? And I actually think that

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Speaker 1: that space was what allowed me to kind of germinate

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Speaker 1: and generate this idea for this book on Judaism that

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Speaker 1: I want to write. You know, I think that it

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Speaker 1: sort of allowed that idea to actually take root and grow.

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Speaker 1: And I think so often we just aren't able to

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Speaker 1: create space for those things within us, and so things

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Speaker 1: don't take root, we don't flourish in a way that

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Speaker 1: we really could. So I'm picturing, like, you know, this

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Speaker 1: White House staffer who has like decided now that she's

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Speaker 1: going to, like, you know, take a few days off

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Speaker 1: on the weekend in the middle of a campaign, and

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Speaker 1: so talk about what that decision was like when you

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Speaker 1: were thinking about it, and how people reacted and things.

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Speaker 1: I think it was twenty sixteen, and I was doing

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Speaker 1: all this reading about Shabbat and I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: just going to try this out, Like this sounds amazing,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I emailed my colleagues and said, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to start doing this. Here's what it means.

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Speaker 1: And they were just so supportive, you know, they just

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Speaker 1: sent me back these notes saying like, we're not going

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Speaker 1: to bother. You good for you, that's so great, and

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Speaker 1: and you know what it was, Actually it actually was fine.

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Speaker 1: Like we managed, you know, I would just get back

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Speaker 1: online Saturday night and do the work. Then it was

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Speaker 1: actually okay. But I'll tell you, if I had been

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Speaker 1: on a campaign, if I had been in a more

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Speaker 1: kind of crazy time, that would have been very hard.

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Speaker 1: And the truth is, after a couple months, a few months,

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Speaker 1: I was like, it just felt like too much for me.

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Speaker 1: But like I like, things were getting really busy and hectic.

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Speaker 1: We were traveling a lot, and it actually became hard

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Speaker 1: for me to do. Now, if I had felt like, no,

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Speaker 1: this is really important to me, like I am an observant, you,

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Speaker 1: I would have done it. And this is why I

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Speaker 1: actually really admire the way that my friends who are observant,

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Speaker 1: who are who are quite religious. You know, for them,

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Speaker 1: it's not optional, right, It's not something they can pick

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Speaker 1: and choose as they see fit. For them, it is

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Speaker 1: like it's mandatory, right, that is part like they feel

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Speaker 1: a real sense of being commanded by God to do this.

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Speaker 1: So it's not a thing and that works really well, right,

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Speaker 1: They just make it work. Whereas for me it was

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Speaker 1: optional and when something like this is optional, turns out

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Speaker 1: you end up taking the option of not doing it

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Speaker 1: so rigorously. We're now going to take a quick break.

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Speaker 1: But when we return, Sarah will explain the benefits she's

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Speaker 1: seen in observing a day of rest. We'll see how

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Speaker 1: all of us, even though it too busy to take

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Speaker 1: a whole day off, can introduce some time of pause

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Speaker 1: into our lives. The happiness lab will be back in

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Speaker 1: a moment. In her book, Sarah Hurwitz describes just how

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Speaker 1: much she learned from ditching her round the clockworking habits

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Speaker 1: and enjoying a day of rest as instructed in the Torah.

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Speaker 1: One of her most interesting insights, one that matches with

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Speaker 1: the science, is the fact that enjoying the Sabbath can

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Speaker 1: help you reappraise your tendency to be a bit of

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Speaker 1: a control freak. You actually don't have control over when

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Speaker 1: Shabbat starts, right, It's just like you gotta stop, Like

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Speaker 1: if you're in the middle of some intense work project,

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Speaker 1: you have to step away, which is kind of amazing, right,

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Speaker 1: It's actually, you know, the whole point of Shabbat is

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Speaker 1: that in this moment, you stop creating, you stop imposing,

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Speaker 1: your will on the world and you actually just feel

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Speaker 1: yourself as a creation. Right. I think that's Rabbi Jonathan

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Speaker 1: Sachs who of Blessed Memory. He this amazing British rabbi

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Speaker 1: who talked about you go from relentless creating to actually

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Speaker 1: feeling yourself as a creation. What an interesting thing like

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Speaker 1: when you are a creation that's not something you control, Right,

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Speaker 1: You're kind of just in a way stopping and just

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Speaker 1: saying like, I'm not going to impose my will on

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Speaker 1: the world. I'm not going to control everything and manage

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Speaker 1: everything and create everything. I'm just going to take a

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Speaker 1: break from that for a second. And I think that

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Speaker 1: shift in mindset is just so powerful at a moment

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Speaker 1: when so many of us feel like we're so frantically

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Speaker 1: trying to control everything, change everything, manage everything, because modern

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Speaker 1: life is hard and we have very little support in

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Speaker 1: this country to care for our families. So how many

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Speaker 1: people are struggling right now, and it's it's really heartbreaking

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Speaker 1: to see. Another thing you mentioned is a benefit is that,

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Speaker 1: like taking a Shabbat can actually help us to sort

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Speaker 1: of fight consumerism and materialism, you know, all this stuff.

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Speaker 1: On the podcast we talk about people being into but

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Speaker 1: it doesn't really positively affect our happiness. Yes, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's like to actually have a day we were forced

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Speaker 1: to stop spending, Like we were forced to stop getting

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Speaker 1: things and striving and trying to be something other than

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Speaker 1: you are. Like, it's such a shift in mindset, and

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Speaker 1: it actually when you step back into that weekday consumerist mindset,

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Speaker 1: you kind of realize it's almost jarring and it's kind

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Speaker 1: of depressing, and you're like, wait a second, I don't

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Speaker 1: like this feeling of never enough. I don't like this

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Speaker 1: feeling of feeling inferior, and like I have to keep

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Speaker 1: striving and like something is broken in me that I

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Speaker 1: have to keep fixing. Because like, let's be very clear,

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Speaker 1: that is the message of every advertisement ever. It's like

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Speaker 1: something is wrong with you, Our product or service will

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Speaker 1: fix you. Right, That's what this attitude is. And to

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Speaker 1: actually say like, no, I'm really grateful, I'm really I'm

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Speaker 1: really all Like, in a way, the opposite of that

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Speaker 1: consumerist never enough mindset is gratitude. Like that's actually the

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Speaker 1: opposite of that mindset, And you're right, it makes us

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Speaker 1: much happier. That consumerist mindset does not make us happy.

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Speaker 1: And this idea of kind of getting in touch with like, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm actually enough as it is. It gets to another

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Speaker 1: benefit of taking some time off, which is that shabat

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Speaker 1: can I actually help you get to know yourself a

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Speaker 1: little bit better? Absolutely, Like It's funny like oftentimes people

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Speaker 1: on shabat, they will go to like a Friday night

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Speaker 1: service at a synagogue or Saturday and a Saturday morning service,

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Speaker 1: and those are moments where you're you're just you're offline, right,

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Speaker 1: You're actually in moments of prayer and reflection and quiet

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Speaker 1: where like actually just have time with your own thoughts.

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Speaker 1: You actually are listening to a voice other than that

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Speaker 1: from your phone or your boss or your colleagues or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And I think it does put you in touch with

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Speaker 1: something deeper, you know, it does. It really puts you

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Speaker 1: in touch with something that's more true. It can help you,

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Speaker 1: I think, I don't know, kind of re engage with yourself.

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Speaker 1: It also it offers you kind of a critical perspective

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Speaker 1: on the other six days a week, right, Like, if

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Speaker 1: you're constantly in that workday consumers mindset, you never have

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Speaker 1: the critical distance from which to examine it and question

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Speaker 1: it and kind of wonder about it. In those twenty

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Speaker 1: five hours when you're out of that mindset, Suddenly you

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Speaker 1: can think, like, wait a second, I really like this job,

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Speaker 1: or like, is this relationship really a good relationship that

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Speaker 1: I'm in? Like, you know, you can start to hear

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Speaker 1: those voices that kind of exist on the edge of

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Speaker 1: your consciousness during the week and there isn't space for them.

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Speaker 1: Suddenly they're space for them, and that can be That

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Speaker 1: can be hard because times their voices you don't want

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Speaker 1: to hear. You're like, uh, just stop, Like I'd rather

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Speaker 1: stay in this relationship because it's easy. I'd rather stay

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Speaker 1: in this job because it's easy. But you can hear

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Speaker 1: those voices that say, hey, this isn't you, this is

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Speaker 1: not you, Like what are you doing? And I think

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Speaker 1: that can lead to a lot of growth. Another set

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Speaker 1: of voices you can hear just the people around you, right,

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Speaker 1: like your family, your friends, right. I mean, another huge

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Speaker 1: benefit of taking some time off is that we can

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Speaker 1: actually connect with other people better if we have a

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Speaker 1: bit more time exactly right. I mean, like think about

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Speaker 1: how often, like I'll walk with Smims, I'll walk by you.

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Speaker 1: I live in Washington, d C. And in the summer,

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Speaker 1: everyone's eating outside and you'll walk by a table and

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Speaker 1: see like four people on their phones and they're all

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Speaker 1: sitting with each other. I'm like, hey, guys, I want

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Speaker 1: to like wave in front of their faces, be like, look,

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Speaker 1: there are all these people around you. I mean, think

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Speaker 1: about how often when you're spending time with other people,

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Speaker 1: at least one person's on their phone and they're not there,

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Speaker 1: so like you kind of have half their attention, or

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Speaker 1: you're kind of paying attention but not really. On Shabbat,

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Speaker 1: if you're observing in a rigorous way, there are no phones, right,

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Speaker 1: There's no TV, there's no screens, there is nothing to

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Speaker 1: distract you from the people around you. And I think

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Speaker 1: people listen to each other differently on Shabat. I think

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Speaker 1: they are present with each other differently on Shabbat. And

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Speaker 1: I mean, what a great way to strengthen relationships and

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Speaker 1: strengthened families. And you know, so much research shows that,

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Speaker 1: you know, one of the biggest hits right now to

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Speaker 1: our happiness is that many of us don't feel like

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Speaker 1: we have these strong social relationships. Many of us aren't connecting,

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Speaker 1: we're not listening, you know, and that's actually leading to

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Speaker 1: an epidemic in some ways of loneliness and things like that. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and that is and look, it's like we have all

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Speaker 1: this freedom right, that is the secular ethic, freedom, no obligations,

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Speaker 1: do whatever you want. So everyone just kind of does

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Speaker 1: their own thing, and it's kind of lonely and isolating.

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Speaker 1: And what you see in Jewish communities where everyone's observing

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Speaker 1: Shabbat is there's some constraint, right, there's an idea of like, no,

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Speaker 1: we all have to take on this obligation to observe Shabbat.

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Speaker 1: But with that constraint comes such beauty. You know, you

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Speaker 1: have an entire community where everyone is like walking to

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Speaker 1: the synagogue, seeing each other, celebrating this Shabbat together, eating

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Speaker 1: meals together, They're all over each other's houses. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's almost it reminds me of what my dad used

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Speaker 1: to talk about growing up in the nineteen fifties, where

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Speaker 1: it's like they all the neighbors knew each other, they

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Speaker 1: were in each other's out of each other's houses. You know,

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Speaker 1: there was a sense of a really rich, thick community,

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Speaker 1: and I think we've kind of lost that again in

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Speaker 1: this consumers world where so many of us are working

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Speaker 1: so hard. You know, who has time? Like you know,

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Speaker 1: you're working one or two jobs trying to support your family,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of kids are just endlessly striving and

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Speaker 1: working because they realize they've got to get into college

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Speaker 1: in order to make enough money, so they're doing all

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Speaker 1: these activities and it's like, oh my gosh, guys, we've

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Speaker 1: just lost that sense of connection, and I think we've

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Speaker 1: just lost this idea that we can take a break

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Speaker 1: at all. And that gets to kind of one of

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Speaker 1: the final benefits I wanted to talk to, which fits

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Speaker 1: with the science, which is this idea of gaining a

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Speaker 1: little bit of time affluence. So time affluence is this

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Speaker 1: concept that social scientists talk about where it's your objective

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Speaker 1: sense that you have some free time. It's like the

424
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,876
Speaker 1: opposite of what many of us go through on most days,

425
00:20:39,916 --> 00:20:42,436
Speaker 1: which is sort of time famine where we're starving for time.

426
00:20:42,876 --> 00:20:45,196
Speaker 1: And the research just shows that there's just the simple

427
00:20:45,236 --> 00:20:48,116
Speaker 1: act of feeling like you have sometime can improve our

428
00:20:48,156 --> 00:20:50,156
Speaker 1: well being. In fact, there's one study that shows that

429
00:20:50,196 --> 00:20:53,036
Speaker 1: if you self report being time famished, that's as bad

430
00:20:53,036 --> 00:20:54,396
Speaker 1: of a hit to your well being as if you

431
00:20:54,436 --> 00:20:57,236
Speaker 1: self report being unemployed. You know, we know unemployment is

432
00:20:57,236 --> 00:20:59,676
Speaker 1: like super bad for well being, but time famine is

433
00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:02,236
Speaker 1: this too, And I think basically what Shabbat is trying

434
00:21:02,236 --> 00:21:04,476
Speaker 1: to do is to stop at the time famine at

435
00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:06,836
Speaker 1: least for one day and give you back a little

436
00:21:06,876 --> 00:21:10,196
Speaker 1: bit of like affluence. I love of that that you know,

437
00:21:10,276 --> 00:21:12,716
Speaker 1: you're right, it actually is a sense of time affluence

438
00:21:12,716 --> 00:21:15,236
Speaker 1: because you know, every single week, I've got these twenty

439
00:21:15,236 --> 00:21:17,796
Speaker 1: five hours every single week. It's never it's never a question,

440
00:21:17,796 --> 00:21:19,796
Speaker 1: it's never in doubt. If you're someone who kind of

441
00:21:19,836 --> 00:21:24,316
Speaker 1: really observes it rigorously, that's so interesting. You're right, it's time.

442
00:21:24,516 --> 00:21:27,476
Speaker 1: It's time affluence. You're basically being granted this twenty five

443
00:21:27,476 --> 00:21:30,916
Speaker 1: hours of time that's mandatory. And so now I want

444
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,996
Speaker 1: to get like slightly personal, because, as I've mentioned on

445
00:21:33,076 --> 00:21:35,756
Speaker 1: this podcast before, you know, I follow lots of my

446
00:21:35,756 --> 00:21:38,196
Speaker 1: happiness advice, but time affluence is one that I really

447
00:21:38,236 --> 00:21:41,476
Speaker 1: struggle with with my busy schedule. And so if you're

448
00:21:41,636 --> 00:21:43,636
Speaker 1: like me and you're struggling with this, like how can

449
00:21:43,676 --> 00:21:45,636
Speaker 1: you build in a little bit of Shabbat time, even

450
00:21:45,636 --> 00:21:48,196
Speaker 1: if it's not the full observant version, you know, how

451
00:21:48,196 --> 00:21:50,516
Speaker 1: did you go about actually like opening that time up

452
00:21:50,556 --> 00:21:53,676
Speaker 1: for yourself. Yeah, you know, I think like so many

453
00:21:53,676 --> 00:21:55,556
Speaker 1: people I've talked to you about this, they're just like,

454
00:21:55,596 --> 00:21:57,796
Speaker 1: I can't do the twenty five hours, right if if

455
00:21:57,876 --> 00:21:59,676
Speaker 1: you're not Orthodox, if you don't have that sense of

456
00:21:59,716 --> 00:22:02,996
Speaker 1: commandedness and it is optional, They're like, this just isn't realistic,

457
00:22:03,276 --> 00:22:04,836
Speaker 1: you know, especially if you have kids and they have

458
00:22:04,916 --> 00:22:06,916
Speaker 1: things going on that you need to care for them,

459
00:22:07,036 --> 00:22:08,996
Speaker 1: or you have you've got to work these hours because

460
00:22:08,996 --> 00:22:11,556
Speaker 1: you need to pay your bills, Like of course, right,

461
00:22:11,596 --> 00:22:14,196
Speaker 1: Like that's okay. It doesn't have to be an Orthodox

462
00:22:14,196 --> 00:22:17,196
Speaker 1: observance to be a meaningful observance. I think the quality

463
00:22:17,276 --> 00:22:19,636
Speaker 1: is really more important than the quantity, right, So I

464
00:22:19,676 --> 00:22:23,156
Speaker 1: actually think just saying, okay, I can't do the whole

465
00:22:23,156 --> 00:22:25,996
Speaker 1: twenty five hours, but starting on Friday night at seven

466
00:22:25,996 --> 00:22:29,396
Speaker 1: pm to midnight on Friday, I'm doing a rigorous shabat.

467
00:22:29,476 --> 00:22:33,116
Speaker 1: Everything shut down, like no electronics, no atricity, Like I

468
00:22:33,116 --> 00:22:35,516
Speaker 1: am just going to be so present with people, not

469
00:22:35,556 --> 00:22:37,836
Speaker 1: going to answer any emails. I'm going to be just

470
00:22:38,196 --> 00:22:41,276
Speaker 1: in it and just feeling that experience, right, just having

471
00:22:41,316 --> 00:22:43,996
Speaker 1: that experience and if that's all you can do, great,

472
00:22:44,236 --> 00:22:46,956
Speaker 1: and maybe you can try Friday night and maybe Saturday

473
00:22:47,036 --> 00:22:49,276
Speaker 1: morning until noon. You know, you can kind of experiment

474
00:22:49,316 --> 00:22:51,076
Speaker 1: and try different things. But I think the point is

475
00:22:51,116 --> 00:22:55,676
Speaker 1: to actually get a taste of that really really different mindset,

476
00:22:55,796 --> 00:22:59,596
Speaker 1: that like different kind of Shabbat time by Abraham Joshua

477
00:22:59,716 --> 00:23:01,556
Speaker 1: Heschel called it, I think you believe he called it

478
00:23:01,596 --> 00:23:04,476
Speaker 1: a sanctuary in time. Like it's actually kind of carving

479
00:23:04,516 --> 00:23:07,276
Speaker 1: out time, which is something that Jews do throughout the year.

480
00:23:07,476 --> 00:23:10,396
Speaker 1: And I think that's so beautiful because we're so obsessed

481
00:23:10,396 --> 00:23:13,196
Speaker 1: now with things and accumulations. But to actually say no,

482
00:23:13,876 --> 00:23:16,076
Speaker 1: time can be something that we carve out and that

483
00:23:16,156 --> 00:23:19,796
Speaker 1: we actually kind of gift ourselves, I think is very powerful.

484
00:23:20,636 --> 00:23:23,036
Speaker 1: And so when you've actually taken the time to do that,

485
00:23:23,036 --> 00:23:25,156
Speaker 1: which I know is hard in your very brissy role,

486
00:23:25,276 --> 00:23:26,956
Speaker 1: you know, what have been the benefits, I mean the

487
00:23:26,956 --> 00:23:29,196
Speaker 1: personal benefits in terms of your own joy and happiness.

488
00:23:29,356 --> 00:23:31,876
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I just you know, it's funny. When

489
00:23:31,876 --> 00:23:33,396
Speaker 1: I was in the White House and doing it, I

490
00:23:33,436 --> 00:23:37,156
Speaker 1: would start Shabat being so frazzled and just obsessively thinking

491
00:23:37,156 --> 00:23:39,316
Speaker 1: about like, Okay, did I did I missed this edit

492
00:23:39,356 --> 00:23:41,596
Speaker 1: from missus Obama? Did I get this thing? Right was

493
00:23:41,596 --> 00:23:43,236
Speaker 1: the ending of the speech, okay, And it would just

494
00:23:43,236 --> 00:23:45,996
Speaker 1: be these thoughts like spinning around my mind. But as

495
00:23:46,116 --> 00:23:48,596
Speaker 1: I went to a Shabat service or a Shabbat dinner

496
00:23:48,636 --> 00:23:51,036
Speaker 1: with friends, I would kind of get in the rhythm

497
00:23:51,076 --> 00:23:52,636
Speaker 1: of it, right, Like those thoughts would kind of get

498
00:23:52,716 --> 00:23:55,476
Speaker 1: quieter and quieter, and buy you know, eight or nine

499
00:23:55,516 --> 00:23:57,956
Speaker 1: at night, I just kind of calmed down, and I

500
00:23:57,996 --> 00:24:00,316
Speaker 1: would come home and my apartment would be so quiet.

501
00:24:00,636 --> 00:24:02,796
Speaker 1: There'd be no phone to look at. Everything would just

502
00:24:02,836 --> 00:24:05,956
Speaker 1: be really peaceful, and I would really feel myself starting

503
00:24:05,996 --> 00:24:08,476
Speaker 1: to kind of settle in, you know, and I felt

504
00:24:08,516 --> 00:24:11,556
Speaker 1: the I felt the effects on my own anxiety levels,

505
00:24:11,596 --> 00:24:14,196
Speaker 1: Like I felt like it really calmed me down. I

506
00:24:14,236 --> 00:24:16,276
Speaker 1: felt like I kind of transitioned into a much more

507
00:24:16,316 --> 00:24:20,556
Speaker 1: reflective space where I was actually thinking deeper thoughts. You know.

508
00:24:20,636 --> 00:24:22,396
Speaker 1: During the week, so many of my thoughts were these

509
00:24:22,476 --> 00:24:24,636
Speaker 1: kind of you know, just there were work thoughts. It

510
00:24:24,716 --> 00:24:26,716
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, did I get this sentence right? Did

511
00:24:26,716 --> 00:24:28,276
Speaker 1: I get this speech to the right people? Oh? This

512
00:24:28,356 --> 00:24:29,716
Speaker 1: call like I had an edit, Okay, let me make

513
00:24:29,756 --> 00:24:32,356
Speaker 1: sure I respond to the email. But it was a

514
00:24:32,396 --> 00:24:34,516
Speaker 1: slower pace for me on the and it was me

515
00:24:34,596 --> 00:24:36,836
Speaker 1: thinking like, Okay, what do I want to do with

516
00:24:36,876 --> 00:24:39,916
Speaker 1: my life? And how is this friendship I have going?

517
00:24:40,276 --> 00:24:42,396
Speaker 1: Do I want to kind of reconsider that, you know,

518
00:24:42,596 --> 00:24:46,036
Speaker 1: how is my family? Like I really just transitioned into

519
00:24:46,116 --> 00:24:48,636
Speaker 1: a different space. It was almost like transitioning from head

520
00:24:48,636 --> 00:24:51,316
Speaker 1: to heart. You know, it was just like a deeper,

521
00:24:52,036 --> 00:24:55,476
Speaker 1: more spiritual space. I felt more spiritually connected on Shabbat,

522
00:24:55,756 --> 00:24:58,836
Speaker 1: and you know, I really do think it helped me

523
00:24:59,436 --> 00:25:01,516
Speaker 1: decide that I wanted to write this book on Judaism.

524
00:25:01,676 --> 00:25:03,796
Speaker 1: You know, that was a pretty unusual post White House

525
00:25:03,836 --> 00:25:06,076
Speaker 1: career move. I think most people were like, oh, you're

526
00:25:06,076 --> 00:25:08,036
Speaker 1: going to write a book on speech writing or Missus

527
00:25:08,036 --> 00:25:10,916
Speaker 1: Obama or politic or you're gonna help Missus Obama with

528
00:25:10,916 --> 00:25:13,516
Speaker 1: her memoir. And those were all great options, right I

529
00:25:13,556 --> 00:25:15,516
Speaker 1: could have been like a you know, a speechwriter to

530
00:25:15,516 --> 00:25:17,636
Speaker 1: the stars or what I mean. There's so many great options.

531
00:25:18,156 --> 00:25:20,196
Speaker 1: And I was thinking, Okay, I should do those things.

532
00:25:20,396 --> 00:25:24,236
Speaker 1: But Shabbata actually let me listen to these quieter voices

533
00:25:24,276 --> 00:25:27,036
Speaker 1: which are hard to hear among all those clamoring voices

534
00:25:27,036 --> 00:25:28,836
Speaker 1: telling me what I should do. And I was like, oh,

535
00:25:28,876 --> 00:25:31,196
Speaker 1: wait a second, maybe I don't want to do those things.

536
00:25:31,316 --> 00:25:33,556
Speaker 1: Maybe I want to write this book to share the

537
00:25:33,676 --> 00:25:36,996
Speaker 1: radical transformative wisdom that I found in Judaism. And I

538
00:25:37,076 --> 00:25:39,236
Speaker 1: think it actually let me do that. It actually kind

539
00:25:39,236 --> 00:25:41,996
Speaker 1: of gave it, let those thoughts take root and flourish

540
00:25:42,076 --> 00:25:45,516
Speaker 1: enough so that I could actually feel comfortable doing that.

541
00:25:45,636 --> 00:25:47,276
Speaker 1: I think if I hadn't had that space, I don't

542
00:25:47,276 --> 00:25:49,756
Speaker 1: know if I would have ever developed that confidence to

543
00:25:49,796 --> 00:25:52,436
Speaker 1: do what I really wanted to do next. And another thing,

544
00:25:52,516 --> 00:25:55,076
Speaker 1: when I think about doing this, like when I think about, like,

545
00:25:55,116 --> 00:25:57,916
Speaker 1: you know, actually taking twenty five hours off, I'm ashamed

546
00:25:57,916 --> 00:26:01,396
Speaker 1: to admit this, but my immediate emotion is like anxiety,

547
00:26:01,836 --> 00:26:03,596
Speaker 1: right that it's just like what am I gonna miss?

548
00:26:03,716 --> 00:26:05,196
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I'm even going to know what to

549
00:26:05,236 --> 00:26:07,116
Speaker 1: do with myself. I mean, did you go through that

550
00:26:07,156 --> 00:26:10,156
Speaker 1: a little bit when you started? Oh? Totally right. There

551
00:26:10,236 --> 00:26:12,356
Speaker 1: is this fear of it's the fomo. It's the sense

552
00:26:12,396 --> 00:26:14,716
Speaker 1: of all I'm getting behind, right, everyone else will be

553
00:26:14,956 --> 00:26:17,396
Speaker 1: working then or achieving then, and like what am I

554
00:26:17,476 --> 00:26:20,036
Speaker 1: doing taking this time off? Oh my gosh? And that

555
00:26:20,116 --> 00:26:22,676
Speaker 1: is so much the consumerist mindset, right, It's like it's

556
00:26:22,716 --> 00:26:24,916
Speaker 1: the always having to be on, always having to be

557
00:26:24,996 --> 00:26:27,996
Speaker 1: doing so I definitely. I had so much of that anxiety.

558
00:26:28,036 --> 00:26:30,556
Speaker 1: But I think once you commit to it and actually

559
00:26:30,596 --> 00:26:33,436
Speaker 1: do it in whatever form that you do, you see

560
00:26:33,476 --> 00:26:36,436
Speaker 1: the benefits. You know, you really do see the benefits

561
00:26:36,476 --> 00:26:38,956
Speaker 1: in your life. And I actually think, I mean, look,

562
00:26:38,996 --> 00:26:40,956
Speaker 1: the point of Shabbat is not to take a break

563
00:26:40,996 --> 00:26:42,876
Speaker 1: so that you can work harder the other six days.

564
00:26:43,236 --> 00:26:45,796
Speaker 1: You work hard the six days in order to get

565
00:26:45,796 --> 00:26:47,876
Speaker 1: the break in Shabbat, right, It's not. It's not a

566
00:26:47,916 --> 00:26:50,756
Speaker 1: rejuvenate so you can just crush even harder. That is

567
00:26:50,876 --> 00:26:54,116
Speaker 1: not what Shabbat is. But you know, once you can

568
00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:57,196
Speaker 1: kind of push through that anxiety, you'll be amazed at

569
00:26:57,196 --> 00:27:00,436
Speaker 1: how much you can find to enjoy on Shabbat. Right

570
00:27:00,436 --> 00:27:02,476
Speaker 1: where people are like what will I do with you myself,

571
00:27:02,876 --> 00:27:04,716
Speaker 1: you realize like, oh, I can just like curl up

572
00:27:04,716 --> 00:27:06,356
Speaker 1: and read a book. I can take a walk with

573
00:27:06,396 --> 00:27:09,516
Speaker 1: a friend. I can just you know, enjoy a meal

574
00:27:09,556 --> 00:27:12,236
Speaker 1: with people I love. I can take a nap. Taking

575
00:27:12,276 --> 00:27:14,236
Speaker 1: a nap is like a big Shabat thing. A lot

576
00:27:14,236 --> 00:27:17,156
Speaker 1: of people nap on Shabbat. I can just like stare

577
00:27:17,196 --> 00:27:19,396
Speaker 1: out my window and look at the scenery around me.

578
00:27:19,436 --> 00:27:22,596
Speaker 1: I mean, these are such simple things that people used

579
00:27:22,636 --> 00:27:25,316
Speaker 1: to do back in the day and that we've lost

580
00:27:25,316 --> 00:27:28,476
Speaker 1: sight of. And there's such simple joys and pleasures, but

581
00:27:28,516 --> 00:27:30,796
Speaker 1: they really Shabat really does give you a lot to savor.

582
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:33,356
Speaker 1: And So if there's a listener who's hearing this, who's

583
00:27:33,396 --> 00:27:35,836
Speaker 1: getting a little like shabat curious, you know, either because

584
00:27:35,836 --> 00:27:37,756
Speaker 1: they're you know, like like not Jewish but kind of

585
00:27:37,756 --> 00:27:39,356
Speaker 1: want to try it out, or you know, maybe like

586
00:27:39,396 --> 00:27:41,596
Speaker 1: you were like Jewish but like really you know, weren't

587
00:27:41,596 --> 00:27:43,876
Speaker 1: observant and weren't fitting it in before. What would be

588
00:27:43,876 --> 00:27:46,636
Speaker 1: your advice to them to get started? Yeah, I would say, like,

589
00:27:46,716 --> 00:27:49,476
Speaker 1: welcome in, man, this is great. And I would say,

590
00:27:49,476 --> 00:27:51,996
Speaker 1: like it doesn't have you know, people I think set

591
00:27:51,996 --> 00:27:53,996
Speaker 1: themselves up for failure when they think it has to

592
00:27:53,996 --> 00:27:56,276
Speaker 1: be perfect. I have to do it twenty five hours

593
00:27:56,316 --> 00:27:58,516
Speaker 1: and I have to follow every single rule ever, and

594
00:27:58,556 --> 00:28:00,836
Speaker 1: if I don't do that, then it's it's all or nothing.

595
00:28:01,076 --> 00:28:03,556
Speaker 1: And it's not all or nothing, right, Like, I think

596
00:28:03,876 --> 00:28:06,036
Speaker 1: the general rule is like, look, the more you can do,

597
00:28:06,116 --> 00:28:08,836
Speaker 1: the better, but do whatever you can, you know, just

598
00:28:08,916 --> 00:28:11,836
Speaker 1: do whatever you can. And I think the really key

599
00:28:11,956 --> 00:28:14,196
Speaker 1: idea is to make it feel different from the rest

600
00:28:14,196 --> 00:28:16,156
Speaker 1: of the week. To make it a real pause from

601
00:28:16,156 --> 00:28:18,756
Speaker 1: the rest of the week. So think carefully about Okay,

602
00:28:19,076 --> 00:28:21,756
Speaker 1: what defines my week? You know? Is it this frantic

603
00:28:21,796 --> 00:28:24,356
Speaker 1: work churn? Is it kind of driving kids to every

604
00:28:24,396 --> 00:28:27,276
Speaker 1: possible place on the planet. Okay, how can I carve

605
00:28:27,316 --> 00:28:29,636
Speaker 1: out some amount of time where I'm not doing those

606
00:28:29,636 --> 00:28:32,436
Speaker 1: things and I'm doing something different? I think that's really

607
00:28:32,436 --> 00:28:36,876
Speaker 1: the key. Regular Happiness Lab listeners know that I really

608
00:28:36,876 --> 00:28:40,196
Speaker 1: really struggle with this stuff. Taking a break and reducing

609
00:28:40,236 --> 00:28:43,036
Speaker 1: my workload is a huge challenge for me. But I've

610
00:28:43,116 --> 00:28:45,596
Speaker 1: learned a ton from talking with Sarah. I'm going to

611
00:28:45,676 --> 00:28:48,116
Speaker 1: try to follow some of her advice, even if it

612
00:28:48,116 --> 00:28:50,556
Speaker 1: means marking out just a tiny space in my week

613
00:28:50,916 --> 00:28:54,596
Speaker 1: that isn't it for work or edmund or chores. We'll

614
00:28:54,636 --> 00:28:57,196
Speaker 1: be moving on from Judaism now, but our next episode

615
00:28:57,196 --> 00:29:00,476
Speaker 1: will explore insights from another religious faith, one that's very

616
00:29:00,516 --> 00:29:05,596
Speaker 1: much built on these foundations, Christianity. Specifically, we'll look more

617
00:29:05,596 --> 00:29:08,436
Speaker 1: at what Christianity can teach us about coming to terms

618
00:29:08,436 --> 00:29:11,956
Speaker 1: with upsetting events in our lives through the practice of forgiveness.

619
00:29:12,876 --> 00:29:15,836
Speaker 1: So please come back next time for more Happiness Lessons

620
00:29:15,836 --> 00:29:31,636
Speaker 1: of the Ancients with me Doctor Laurie Santos. The Happiness

621
00:29:31,716 --> 00:29:34,356
Speaker 1: Lab is co written and produced by Ryan Dilley. The

622
00:29:34,396 --> 00:29:37,156
Speaker 1: show was mastered by Evan Viola and our original music

623
00:29:37,236 --> 00:29:40,836
Speaker 1: was composed by Zachary Silver. Special thanks to the entire

624
00:29:40,876 --> 00:29:46,636
Speaker 1: Pushkin crew, including Neila Belle, Carlie Migliori, Heather Faine, Sophie Crane, mckibbon,

625
00:29:46,956 --> 00:29:51,116
Speaker 1: Eric Sandler, Jacob Weissberg, and my agent, Ben Davis. The

626
00:29:51,156 --> 00:29:53,836
Speaker 1: Happiness Lab is brought to you by Pushkin Industries and

627
00:29:53,956 --> 00:29:55,436
Speaker 1: Nat Doctor Laurie Santos,