Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome. How's it going. My name is Lyle. I'm
Speaker 1: a gecko. We're in New York City. It is a
Speaker 1: Saturday night at I want to say nine pm ish
Speaker 1: at night. I am here in Washington Square Park. It
Speaker 1: is a park in Manhattan on the earth. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of people around. And I ate a pint of
Speaker 1: ice cream this afternoon at three pm.
Speaker 2: And let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: When you get high and you eat a pint of
Speaker 1: ice cream at three pm, your day is fucked. I
Speaker 1: got high, I ate a pint of ice cream. I
Speaker 1: took a nap. I woke up at seven pm. Do
Speaker 1: you know how You know how it feels when you
Speaker 1: get high, you eat a pine ice cream, you wake
Speaker 1: up at seven pm after a four hour nap, You
Speaker 1: feel as though the day is lost. You feel as
Speaker 1: though it cannot be redeemed. So I thought to myself,
Speaker 1: how do I redeem this day? How do I make
Speaker 1: it so that this was somewhat of a productive time. Oh,
Speaker 1: I know, I'll go to the park and I'll talk
Speaker 1: to people as a lizard.
Speaker 2: And let me tell you, the day is one.
Speaker 1: So if you're listening to this and it's seven pm
Speaker 1: and you just woke up from a nap after getting
Speaker 1: high and eating ice cream. Just so you know, you
Speaker 1: can revive the rest of your day. If I can
Speaker 1: do it, you can do it. Okay, all right, I
Speaker 1: don't know. The day might still suck. Let's see, let's
Speaker 1: talk to some people as a gecko.
Speaker 3: Hi.
Speaker 2: Hi, Hi, what's your name? My name is Paulina, Paulina.
Speaker 2: Nice to meet you.
Speaker 4: Nice to meet you too.
Speaker 2: How's life, Paulina?
Speaker 5: Life has been okay? I don't know, it's been kind
Speaker 5: of medium right now.
Speaker 2: Honestly, is it usually medium or is it? What's it
Speaker 2: like usually?
Speaker 5: Like usually I feel like it's a little bit of
Speaker 5: a higher point, But like right now I'm going.
Speaker 4: Through a little bit of a.
Speaker 5: Calmer section of my life. I guess I could say
Speaker 5: because like before, I don't know, with like being younger
Speaker 5: and like being single and everything like that, you have
Speaker 5: a lot of more freedoms and you do a lot
Speaker 5: of more crazy shit. Okay, but like now I'm married, wha, Yeah, No,
Speaker 5: I'm married, and I like have an entirely different, like
Speaker 5: kind of outlook on life. I guess you could say,
Speaker 5: because like I have a husband now I have like
Speaker 5: a stable person that I could come home to.
Speaker 4: And I mean, I'm.
Speaker 5: Not working right now, but like usually I'd be working
Speaker 5: fucking seven days out of the week, like just tiring
Speaker 5: myself out, stressing myself out. At one point last year,
Speaker 5: I was working so much that I started losing the hair.
Speaker 2: Holy shit, Yeah, because I.
Speaker 4: Was stressing so much.
Speaker 5: And it's like, especially like in New York, I don't know,
Speaker 5: the working the stress of working and like having to
Speaker 5: keep up and like having to thrive.
Speaker 4: Like here, you can't be without money, you know what
Speaker 4: I mean?
Speaker 2: And yeah, it is a very hustle, hustle based, very very.
Speaker 4: Very hustle based environment.
Speaker 5: And it's just like I don't know, I used to
Speaker 5: work so hard just to like be able to make
Speaker 5: my rent, be able to like make a living, and
Speaker 5: like be doing all the crazy shit that I used
Speaker 5: to do, like going to the bars, going to the clubs,
Speaker 5: paying for my friends and stuff like that. But like
Speaker 5: now I have like calm down and like there's just
Speaker 5: one person to like share that with.
Speaker 2: You know what, So when did you get married? How
Speaker 2: long ago?
Speaker 4: I got married in March March twenty fourth.
Speaker 5: It was a rainy day and and my culture is
Speaker 5: like a good sign whenever you get married in the rain,
Speaker 5: because then whenever you tie the knot, you can't untie.
Speaker 4: I'm not when it's wet.
Speaker 2: Oh. I was gonna ask you, where are you from?
Speaker 4: I'm from Russia. Oh okay, yeah, but I'm from Russia.
Speaker 5: I moved to America like about eleven years ago. Cool,
Speaker 5: and I'm first I came to New York and I'm
Speaker 5: from New York. I came to Texas, from Texas to
Speaker 5: Los Angeles, and from Los Angeles to New York again.
Speaker 2: Where did you meet your husband?
Speaker 1: I met my husband here here. I think you mete
Speaker 1: him at one of the bars or clubs.
Speaker 4: I met him at Washington Square Park.
Speaker 2: Oh really?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: How did that work?
Speaker 4: Oh? My gosh.
Speaker 5: It was actually a little bit of a crazy story
Speaker 5: because I was.
Speaker 4: With my boyfriend at that time.
Speaker 5: And we were all hanging around the same group, and
Speaker 5: so my now husband he used to like come over
Speaker 5: there and try to like sneak me away and stuff
Speaker 5: like that, and I was like, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 5: I'm in a relationship. I'm in a relationship. And I
Speaker 5: swore that he was a red flag. And then afterwards
Speaker 5: I ended up breaking up with my ex and we
Speaker 5: ended up getting I like gave myself a couple of
Speaker 5: months to like recover because it was a little bit
Speaker 5: of a it was a crazy situation.
Speaker 4: He was like thirty.
Speaker 5: I was like nineteen at the time, and I thought that.
Speaker 4: Older men were like more mature.
Speaker 5: I thought that they would be able to, like not
Speaker 5: only financially help but like mentally as well, like kind
Speaker 5: of be able to like guide me and not be like.
Speaker 4: As immature as I was sure.
Speaker 5: But it turns out that he was more mature than me.
Speaker 5: So I was like, no, I don't really.
Speaker 2: This is your ex that you're talking about.
Speaker 5: Yeah, my ex that I'm talking about. And then I
Speaker 5: met my husband, which he's twenty three, and I realized
Speaker 5: that he was more mature than a thirty year old man.
Speaker 5: Like he was working, he was doing his thing, he
Speaker 5: was taking care of stuff, like he was helping.
Speaker 4: His mom everything like that.
Speaker 5: And then it's like whenever I came into his life,
Speaker 5: he was doing that like time spy for me, and
Speaker 5: I was like, oh my god, like it does like
Speaker 5: an age like a thirty year old doesn't mean that.
Speaker 4: It's like he's more mature.
Speaker 2: So are you? So you went for working like seven
Speaker 2: days a week. Yeah too. Now is he like bringing
Speaker 2: home the nut for everyone?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, what's he do? How does he bring on the nut?
Speaker 5: He's a construction worker as well as he does photography
Speaker 5: on the side, and he like does photography for like parties.
Speaker 5: He does photography for skating videography as well. And then
Speaker 5: I'm like his little assistant sometimes, you know, so you
Speaker 5: work with him, Hey, I kind of work with him
Speaker 5: and I like edit his videos, I help him out
Speaker 5: with the posting, I help him out with his scheduling
Speaker 5: everything like that, because he like being a construction worker.
Speaker 5: He's like freelance right now, and he like goes all
Speaker 5: around the place in New York. But and so it's
Speaker 5: like really hard to build a schedule around that.
Speaker 1: But me the amazing Paulina, I get, so, how long
Speaker 1: were you guys dating before you got married?
Speaker 5: We okay, honestly, our relationship moved really quick. We've known
Speaker 5: each other for like two years. We've been together for
Speaker 5: ten months.
Speaker 2: Now. Did you get married in Russia or here?
Speaker 4: We got married here? No, no, no, no, we did
Speaker 4: not get married in Russia. We got married here.
Speaker 5: And I met him two years ago and then we
Speaker 5: ended up getting together like next the year after that,
Speaker 5: and like two months after I broke up with my ex,
Speaker 5: we ended up getting together. We made things official in November,
Speaker 5: we got engaged in February, and then we got married
Speaker 5: in March.
Speaker 2: So you said that now is a calm time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, now it's a calm time.
Speaker 2: Now miss the crazy times at.
Speaker 4: Times, if I'm being honest, Yes I do.
Speaker 5: Because I was able to say, like, I did everything
Speaker 5: for myself type of thing, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Sure I was.
Speaker 5: I could call myself a dependent. I could like tell
Speaker 5: people that like yeah I did this, like I own
Speaker 5: this place, or like I rent this place, I paid
Speaker 5: for this, I paid for that.
Speaker 4: But like now.
Speaker 5: It's nice because my husband takes care of me and
Speaker 5: I don't. And it's like it's not even he doesn't
Speaker 5: even like put me in the position of like, oh
Speaker 5: I'm paying for this, I'm paying for this.
Speaker 4: No, it's not even that.
Speaker 5: It's just because I feel like it's my own personal ego,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean. That takes me to that
Speaker 5: place sometime because it's just like, man if I was single,
Speaker 5: I'd still be doing this, this and this, but like
Speaker 5: now I can't like.
Speaker 2: So, when did you move to New York from Russia.
Speaker 4: To New York from Russia? And I moved eleven years ago.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, you mentioned that. Why did you come to
Speaker 2: New York.
Speaker 5: My mom got married to my stepfather and he's an
Speaker 5: American and so they fell in love everything like that.
Speaker 5: He was their English tutor, and so she ended up
Speaker 5: moving over here, and my dad didn't really know because
Speaker 5: like the immigration stuff was like really really off at
Speaker 5: that time for some reason, and it was really expensive
Speaker 5: to get papers, and so we lived in New York
Speaker 5: for a little bit because it's a blue.
Speaker 4: State, you know what I mean, and.
Speaker 5: Easier, Yeah, it's definitely easier to not get deported. And
Speaker 5: then once once we had all our papers figured out
Speaker 5: and everything like that, we moved on to Texas and
Speaker 5: then Texas.
Speaker 4: From Moscow to New York is like a little bit
Speaker 4: of a culture shock.
Speaker 1: I'm sure it is. They tell me what the culture
Speaker 1: shock felt like.
Speaker 4: The culture shock. Honestly, it wasn't even from Moscow to
Speaker 4: New York.
Speaker 5: The culture shock was really from the point of me
Speaker 5: like not being able to speak English properly whenever I
Speaker 5: came here, and it was like really hard because I
Speaker 5: went to like a predominantly like American.
Speaker 2: School and they used to like how.
Speaker 4: I was ten.
Speaker 5: Years old, ten years old whenever I came here and
Speaker 5: people I don't know, like kids are menaces, Like yeah,
Speaker 5: all that time, they used to call me like a
Speaker 5: commed whar, like I'm a communist, go back to my
Speaker 5: country everything like that. Yeah, I kind of advanced years old,
Speaker 5: say I'm saying, but like kids are menaces nowadays, bro,
Speaker 5: Like I remember all of those times, like whenever my
Speaker 5: fellow ten year olds were just like you need to
Speaker 5: go back to your own country, blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 5: You're your country is the one that started the Cold
Speaker 5: War with us everything like that.
Speaker 1: Like what so I gotta ask you that is it?
Speaker 1: Is it like weird being Russian now?
Speaker 4: Honestly?
Speaker 5: Yeah, honestly yeah, with like everything going on in the world,
Speaker 5: like with the Russian Ukraine War everything like that, it's
Speaker 5: it's a hard time being like Russian or like calling
Speaker 5: yourself Russian.
Speaker 4: But like I'm mixed. My grandma's Ukrainian.
Speaker 5: I was born in Russia and I grew up speaking Ukrainian,
Speaker 5: but like I ended up just losing it over time.
Speaker 1: Do people in Russia do they like Putin? Like does
Speaker 1: anyone like him? Or do they all not like him?
Speaker 4: I feel like it's media manipulation.
Speaker 5: Whenever people are like saying like, oh, no, Putin this,
Speaker 5: Putin that, but he's I feel like people know that
Speaker 5: he's not a good leader. They know that he has
Speaker 5: gotten to like he's gotten to the top of power,
Speaker 5: and now he doesn't want to like get it away,
Speaker 5: you know.
Speaker 2: What I mean.
Speaker 1: You don't have like a like a weird uncle or
Speaker 1: something who's like, no, I think he's a cool guy,
Speaker 1: Like how you know.
Speaker 4: I bet I do.
Speaker 5: I feel like whenever I visited Russia last time, which
Speaker 5: was the last time I visited was in twenty nineteen,
Speaker 5: and there was times of whenever my dad, my stepdad
Speaker 5: was like talking to my mom's friends and they were like, no,
Speaker 5: Putin is awesome, Putin is great. And then the war
Speaker 5: started happening and they were like, oh, it's not early.
Speaker 4: How it's playing out to.
Speaker 5: Be Like he's not that, he's not that good of
Speaker 5: a leader anymore. Like in the past, I don't know,
Speaker 5: in the nineties or in the early two thousands, whenever
Speaker 5: he was in the president run everything like that. Maybe
Speaker 5: he was good, maybe he was doing good for the country,
Speaker 5: but now the power has definitely gotten to the top
Speaker 5: of his head and it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: So back to your personal life, yea, uh do you like,
Speaker 1: what do you hope for the future for yourself?
Speaker 4: I want to start a family.
Speaker 5: I really I've been dreaming of being a mom, like
Speaker 5: ever since I was little, and I feel like starting
Speaker 5: a family, especially being married, is the next step. It's
Speaker 5: just it's just really hard with like the economic position
Speaker 5: everything like that, everything that's going on in the world
Speaker 5: right now, Like it's.
Speaker 4: It's hard putting a kid into that.
Speaker 5: But then at the same time, I feel like I'd
Speaker 5: be able to make a life for that child that
Speaker 5: nobody else would, you know what I mean that, yeah,
Speaker 5: it wouldn't matter with anything.
Speaker 2: It's hard.
Speaker 1: It's weird to like, you know, I mean, it's hard
Speaker 1: to be like optimistic about the future. That's a little
Speaker 1: bout like, uh, you know, by the time I'm like,
Speaker 1: if I have a kid, when I'm like say, like
Speaker 1: thirty seven or whatever, like in ten years, yeah, then
Speaker 1: by the time that my kid is like eighteen, I'm
Speaker 1: ready to go to college.
Speaker 2: I'll be like fifty fucking five.
Speaker 1: Yeah, who knows what the world is gonna look like
Speaker 1: there might like I'm worried about like there being like
Speaker 1: no economic opportunities, Yeah for my kid, because even like you,
Speaker 1: like being eighteen, going to college now is so different
Speaker 1: than it is like twenty eight years ago for our parents. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, like it's it's worrisome that you have like
Speaker 1: gen Z. I feel like has gen Z and Jenop
Speaker 1: I have like I would assume maybe I'm just talking shit,
Speaker 1: but it seems as though they have much less economic opportunities.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, no, I definitely agree with that. And it's
Speaker 5: like the fact I don't know now college isn't really
Speaker 5: like we're at least guaranteed, It's not, it's not guaranteed anymore.
Speaker 5: Like it's definitely if you have like a dream to
Speaker 5: go to college, like you can you can do everything
Speaker 5: in your power to like go into college and stuff
Speaker 5: like that. I was just talking about that to my
Speaker 5: friends today. I worked at Chipotle before, and I had
Speaker 5: people that had masked degrees, bachelor's degrees that were working
Speaker 5: and like serving food to people. And it's just like
Speaker 5: you spent all that time, you spent all that money
Speaker 5: and you're still working amid as what I mean.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a it's a terrible bummer.
Speaker 5: And it's like now people that like have business degrees
Speaker 5: or something like that, they're they're even dropping that and
Speaker 5: they're starting to do content creating or they're starting to cook,
Speaker 5: like they're starting to make their own restaurants or something
Speaker 5: like that. They don't even use their degree and what's
Speaker 5: really what they got it initially for, you know what
Speaker 5: I mean? And like I went to college for a
Speaker 5: couple of semesters and it was, honestly, like I feel
Speaker 5: like it was even more stress than working whenever I
Speaker 5: was working here, because like.
Speaker 2: Was it more stressful than working at Chipotle?
Speaker 1: I feel like that, Yeah, yeah, because I'm very genuine
Speaker 1: I'm surprised to hear that.
Speaker 2: Look, working at Chipotle looks very stressful.
Speaker 4: It's it is, honestly is.
Speaker 5: And like I used to I used to do everything,
Speaker 5: Like I used to be in prep team.
Speaker 4: I used to be the hostess.
Speaker 5: Like the cashier, and I used to be the one
Speaker 5: rolling your burritos, you know what I mean. And it
Speaker 5: was like we had to worry about every little thing.
Speaker 5: We had to worry about having the right amount of
Speaker 5: food prepped, and it wasn't the regular amount of people
Speaker 5: every single day, you know. So it's like we had
Speaker 5: to get the amount of food prep correctly, we had
Speaker 5: to roll everything correctly.
Speaker 4: We couldn't really waste anything. And it was just.
Speaker 5: I don't know, and then balancing that on top of
Speaker 5: school with like having to get your assignments in time,
Speaker 5: so have to get good grades to come out with
Speaker 5: a good GPA to keep your scholarship or if I
Speaker 5: don't know, if you're like paying for it.
Speaker 4: It's so hard. It's ridiculously hard.
Speaker 1: I feel like having a job like that is good
Speaker 1: training to be a mom, because being a.
Speaker 2: Mom is also like.
Speaker 6: It.
Speaker 1: It's like you can't like college, like you can fuck around, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, if you work at like Chipotle or whatever,
Speaker 1: you can't just like like be on your phone the
Speaker 1: whole time.
Speaker 2: You gotta like roll burritos. You got things you gotta do. Ship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have a kid, you gotta came in your
Speaker 1: phone all the time or rest child will die. You
Speaker 1: kind of do have to roll the kid a little bit.
Speaker 1: You gotta roll the kids. You gotta change a diaper.
Speaker 1: I like, like when you're like like the logistical mechanics
Speaker 1: of of changing a diaper are kind of seemed to
Speaker 1: be similar to rolling a burrito. You know, you're you're
Speaker 1: moving things through their hands and you know, doing this
Speaker 1: and that thing. Yeah, Paula, Pauline, Paulina, Paulina, Yeah, well Pauline, Okay,
Speaker 1: I want to ask you this before we go, because
Speaker 1: you came up to me, uh, before I settle this
Speaker 1: crap up, and you were like, I've been present for
Speaker 1: a lot of your other Gecko sessions and I've always
Speaker 1: wanted to get on one.
Speaker 2: Have we cover?
Speaker 1: Is there anything else that we didn't cover that you
Speaker 1: want to make sure we cover before we go?
Speaker 4: I feel like this is exactly what I've been yearning for.
Speaker 1: My entire life, right Uh, Paula, anything else you want
Speaker 1: to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 5: Be happy, be optimistic. Life is great despite everything that's
Speaker 5: going on. You create your own shit.
Speaker 1: Honestly, Thank you, paul By, have a go, and thank
Speaker 1: you for talking to a gecko.
Speaker 3: How many is mullah?
Speaker 2: Mullah? Like money?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What's that? Mullah? How's life? How's it going? What are
Speaker 2: you doing in the park tonight?
Speaker 3: Right now? I'm just really spending time with my boyfriend,
Speaker 3: my friends, just getting my mind off of stuff because
Speaker 3: I've been trying to look for a job, fishing up
Speaker 3: school and just I'm going a bit stressed. So I'm
Speaker 3: here to take off a little bit away from the day.
Speaker 1: See, I'm like tempted to ask you what you're stressed about,
Speaker 1: but the whole thing of going to the park is
Speaker 1: to not talk about it. So would you like to
Speaker 1: not talk about what you're stressed about? I can talk
Speaker 1: about it, Okay, what he's stressed about.
Speaker 3: Well, it's just like in my life, I feel like
Speaker 3: there's a lot of people coming to me and trying
Speaker 3: to distract me from what I'm really supposed to do.
Speaker 3: Like I'm really trying to get into like law and stuff,
Speaker 3: and I feel really discredit and discouraged by people around
Speaker 3: me based on how I look and where I'm from
Speaker 3: because growing up in like kind of a poorer area,
Speaker 3: it's not really expected from people. So I wanted to
Speaker 3: really like do that, but it gets discouraged. So I've
Speaker 3: been dealing with a lot of like setbacks when it
Speaker 3: comes to even getting work because it's that automatic, Oh
Speaker 3: how much do you make? Where do you live at
Speaker 3: in ethnicity questions so much harder.
Speaker 1: So when you say that, like the people around you
Speaker 1: are discouraging you from what you actually want to do.
Speaker 1: Like is this like your friends or your family or
Speaker 1: like just like random people that you talk to.
Speaker 3: I say, some of my friends and family. Yeah, Like, Okay,
Speaker 3: A better way to describe it is more like a
Speaker 3: lot of my passions and stuff I've came to my
Speaker 3: family about they tend to put me down about it
Speaker 3: and be like, that's not really something you can do,
Speaker 3: and like they just kind of pushed me down and say,
Speaker 3: my mom.
Speaker 2: Do you do? You have people in your life who
Speaker 2: are the opposite.
Speaker 3: So yeah, and I try to focus spending time with
Speaker 3: them for sure.
Speaker 1: Okay, can I I'm very curious what are the like
Speaker 1: the people in your life when they tell you that
Speaker 1: you can't do things?
Speaker 2: What are the reasons they give you for why you
Speaker 2: can't do things?
Speaker 6: Well?
Speaker 3: Uh, you can tell like, I'm kind of alternative. I
Speaker 3: grew up a bit like I didn't grow up with
Speaker 3: many good connections and is like kind of not used
Speaker 3: to getting far. That's a better way to describe it.
Speaker 2: So what kind of law do you want to practice?
Speaker 3: What about criminal justice speaker. I have a lot of
Speaker 3: disdain towards how the police system is going right now
Speaker 3: and how it's just really like affecting people.
Speaker 4: How like.
Speaker 3: The political landscape of stuff is really strong right now,
Speaker 3: and like I'm really upset about like all the stuff
Speaker 3: going on in the world. For sure.
Speaker 1: Have you been studying law or going to like undergrad
Speaker 1: or anything like that.
Speaker 3: I have been doing law classes, yes, And it's something
Speaker 3: that inspire me more, especially seeing the effects on like
Speaker 3: certain like based on political things, how it affects the
Speaker 3: policing in the city. And I want to do more
Speaker 3: to kind of help with that, like especially with the
Speaker 3: things like immigration or uh like the issues with all
Speaker 3: other stuff, because I know I have a family who
Speaker 3: have friends and like girlfriends who are actually getting issues
Speaker 3: with immigration and stuff, even people I know. So I
Speaker 3: want to make a difference in that.
Speaker 2: Did you grow up in New York?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: What part of New York you grew up in?
Speaker 3: Lower East Side? B?
Speaker 2: Cool? Cool? Did you go to high school here?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: When did your like interest in law begin? Was it
Speaker 1: kind of around that time or has it been been.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like it was. I actually feel like
Speaker 3: I first started getting interested in it, like when I
Speaker 3: was younger, but I changed my kind of outlook to
Speaker 3: law after I saw how like teaching and counseling. Was
Speaker 3: it really profitable?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's part of the well you want to do
Speaker 1: criminal justice, right, Yes?
Speaker 2: Would you ever be like a public defender? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I wanted to kind of do that, But at the
Speaker 3: same time, it's like you got to defend the worst
Speaker 3: people as a public defender because.
Speaker 2: They can't choose your.
Speaker 4: So like I could get like the.
Speaker 3: Best person in America, or I could get like the
Speaker 3: fucking devil, right right, You really don't know.
Speaker 1: Right, I always I always kind of wonder that, like
Speaker 1: how public defenders have to like reconcile and like, because
Speaker 1: like there's certain situations where it's like, you know they
Speaker 1: did it, you know. So it's like if you're a
Speaker 1: public defender and you gotta defend them even though you
Speaker 1: know they did it. I guess there's a thing of like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I know they did it, but I do believe in
Speaker 1: like due process under the law, So like I will
Speaker 1: defend not necessarily the truth or not whether or not
Speaker 1: they did this crime, but I will defend their right
Speaker 1: to the due process of the law.
Speaker 3: I feel like being a lawyer, the mindset has to
Speaker 3: go first for the bag because morality doesn't really exist.
Speaker 1: Do you that's so interesting? Okay, so you you want
Speaker 1: to be like a lawyer going for the bag.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, like, if I'm a public defender, then
Speaker 3: I'm gonna work for the bag and then I'm gonna
Speaker 3: get in my own thing.
Speaker 1: I feel like public defender I think is like the
Speaker 1: very not bag boy.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Ok.
Speaker 3: If you're losing cases, then you're definitely not getting a bag.
Speaker 2: Okay, morality is not real.
Speaker 3: Not in public defense.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 2: I thought we're talking like philosophically, because.
Speaker 3: There are actually yeah, I think in philosophically yeah too.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, because there's it's like, do you know what,
Speaker 1: like there's a lot of people who do believe there
Speaker 1: is no such thing as like objective morality. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: a thing that we are subjectively deciding as both as
Speaker 1: individuals and as a collective.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of like we pick and choose what
Speaker 3: is right and wrong based on what we want to do.
Speaker 3: Like even with certain people, they'll be like like, for example,
Speaker 3: with religion, if you were to take out one verse.
Speaker 3: Some people would be like, yes, you need to follow this,
Speaker 3: but some people be like, no, that's not good to
Speaker 3: if you do this, and it's like radicals. So yeah,
Speaker 3: I forgot what I was saying.
Speaker 2: It's okay, Well, you know, I do think about it.
Speaker 1: I do think about it sometimes because like, look like
Speaker 1: in the animal world, they are just killing each other
Speaker 1: all the time. They're just killing and there's no like, uh,
Speaker 1: like the lion is not like, oh, is it like
Speaker 1: wrong to viciously murder this zebra? But also I do
Speaker 1: the same thing. You know, I go to Chick fil A,
Speaker 1: I eat a delicious chicken sandwich. I inadvertently killed another
Speaker 1: living thing by eating it.
Speaker 3: And uh, that's how I feel when I eat shrimp.
Speaker 3: I'm allergic to selfish.
Speaker 2: Do you eat shrimp if you're allergic to selfish?
Speaker 3: Because like hear me out, Okay, sure, the popeye is shrimp,
Speaker 3: popcorn shrimp, poporn popeyees popcorn shrimp, Yes, popcorn shrimp. It's amazing,
Speaker 3: it's beautiful, but it hurts, but it's worth it.
Speaker 2: What do you mean, Oh, it hurts because it like, okay.
Speaker 3: But might squeeze up, it'll my eyes with water. But
Speaker 3: the taste is beautiful. So I feel like, at the
Speaker 3: end of the day, it's about the the joys of life,
Speaker 3: not the pain. Pain is beauty.
Speaker 2: I'm okay, I'm trying.
Speaker 1: I want to dive more into this allegory of Popeyes
Speaker 1: popcorn shrimp.
Speaker 3: Yes, now we're talking about it.
Speaker 1: Even though you're allergic. Yes, as an allegory to life. Yes,
Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes you're allergic to life exactly, but
Speaker 1: you just got to keep living it.
Speaker 3: And this is definitely one of the things I feel
Speaker 3: like I'm discouraged from. My boyfriend will tell me all
Speaker 3: the time not to eat it because I'm allergic and
Speaker 3: it'll fuck up my health. But I'm like, dude, it
Speaker 3: tastes good, and like I feel like I'm being diverted
Speaker 3: from true happiness.
Speaker 2: I gotta be honest with you.
Speaker 1: In like most of the other situations you've brought up
Speaker 1: where people were discouraging you from things, I would tell
Speaker 1: you to not listen to them, this one, I would
Speaker 1: maybe consider listening to your boyfriend.
Speaker 2: But what if I don't want to, or at least
Speaker 2: a doctor or some shit.
Speaker 1: But how many more popcorn shrimp you got in you
Speaker 1: before you go into anaphylactic shot.
Speaker 3: I feel like, what's more important longevity or happiness?
Speaker 2: You know what, eat all the popcorn trip you want.
Speaker 3: If that's the case, I have smoked at least five
Speaker 3: blunts every day with perfect.
Speaker 2: Viable every day for the.
Speaker 3: Last two years minimum. So I feel like I may
Speaker 3: or may not be man.
Speaker 2: Do you like getting high or is it very fun? Okay?
Speaker 3: It brings like it brings peace to my life. I
Speaker 3: feel like all the things are edible for us. It's
Speaker 3: kind of hitting, but uh, I feel like it helps
Speaker 3: me really see things for how they are calmly, because
Speaker 3: I feel like we're all very angry people and we
Speaker 3: all get mad at.
Speaker 2: You get less angry when you're stunted.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I'm way less angry, especially when
Speaker 3: I do want to get popcorns frimped and then my
Speaker 3: boyfriend discourages me from it.
Speaker 2: I'm not angry on the popcorn trip. I didn't.
Speaker 1: I actually known. I go to Popeye semi frequently. I
Speaker 1: don't think that I've never seen they have popcorn shrimp.
Speaker 3: It is one hundred percent there, I know for fact. Okay,
Speaker 3: I love the Popeyees popcorn shrimp.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm gonna try to wrap up this podcast as
Speaker 1: soon as possible so I can go to Popeyes afterwards.
Speaker 2: You should This is not sponsored by pop Us. What's
Speaker 2: your name?
Speaker 1: Mulla?
Speaker 2: Yes, Mulla? Good luck on your dreams and hopes in life.
Speaker 3: Yes, I really know what I was talking about. I
Speaker 3: can't lie, but I really love Popeyes podcast, Shrimp. I'm
Speaker 3: voting for Popey's.
Speaker 2: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 2: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: Uh? Save the wildlife?
Speaker 4: I love geckos.
Speaker 2: Thank you? Mulla?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 2: Hello?
Speaker 3: Hey?
Speaker 2: What's your name?
Speaker 4: Veda?
Speaker 2: Veda?
Speaker 4: What's what's your name?
Speaker 2: Lyle? What's up? Veda? Has life?
Speaker 7: Life is good. I just moved here. I'm going to
Speaker 7: school here. It's a big change.
Speaker 2: What are you studying?
Speaker 4: Psychology?
Speaker 2: Psychology?
Speaker 4: Wait? Wait wait, how's your life?
Speaker 2: How's my life?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: No one ever asked how my life is?
Speaker 4: Why not?
Speaker 1: No, that's that's not sure at all. People ask me
Speaker 1: how my life is a lot, and I don't and
Speaker 1: I deflect.
Speaker 4: You don't like talking about yourself?
Speaker 2: I like talking about myself sometimes.
Speaker 4: Is this why you do this to talk about other people?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Sometimes I do do this to talk about other people.
Speaker 1: It's fun to talk about other.
Speaker 4: People you don't like talking about yourself.
Speaker 2: I do like talking about myself.
Speaker 1: I'd be completely utterly lying if I said I didn't
Speaker 1: like talking to myself by myself, I talk about myself
Speaker 1: a fair amount on this show.
Speaker 2: I think, how am I doing well?
Speaker 1: I mentioned at the beginning of this that I I
Speaker 1: had like a big plan for today. I was gonna
Speaker 1: like edit a bunch of stuff. I was gonna get
Speaker 1: a bunch of stuff done. It was gonna be really productive.
Speaker 1: And then my friend texted me and he's like, Yo,
Speaker 1: there's a block party outside.
Speaker 2: Of our house. And I was like, do you live here?
Speaker 2: I live in New York, Yeah, in Brooklyn, Okay.
Speaker 1: And I was like, all right, I'll go to this
Speaker 1: block party because that sounds fun. And then I made
Speaker 1: a mistake that I've made many I make the same
Speaker 1: You know what's so annoying cause I make the same
Speaker 1: mistake all the time. I quit smoking weed for like
Speaker 1: three days. It was awesome three days, and I got
Speaker 1: high during the day, which is bad because if you
Speaker 1: do that, if you if I get sewn during the
Speaker 1: day at this blog party, the rest of the day
Speaker 1: is fucking fucked. I'm fucked. I'm fucked. And so I
Speaker 1: got sown during the day, and then I went home.
Speaker 1: I took a long nap and then it was seven pm.
Speaker 1: You ever take a nap at four pm and you
Speaker 1: wake up at seven?
Speaker 7: Yeah, And then and then you wake up and you
Speaker 7: feel like really anxious because you're like confused as fuck,
Speaker 7: and like it's like that end of the day and
Speaker 7: like you feel like what the.
Speaker 1: Fuckp Yes, yes, exactly exactly, And so I go And
Speaker 1: so I was in that state and I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, there's no way I'm gonna be able to
Speaker 1: like sit alone on a computer.
Speaker 4: Wait, what about that? Did you eat ice cream?
Speaker 6: Did?
Speaker 1: I tried to gracefully skip over that, but yes, I
Speaker 1: did also eat ice cream.
Speaker 2: Get the uh verun Ver? What's your name?
Speaker 4: It's like think of Darth Vader Beda.
Speaker 1: Beta Beta Beda they have normally, I'm a Ben and
Speaker 1: Jerry's guy Hoggan Das. Hogan Das just came out with
Speaker 1: black and white cookie.
Speaker 4: Ice cream black and white cookie.
Speaker 1: I just promise I'm not sponsored by Popeyes or Hoggin DAWs.
Speaker 2: I wish I was.
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe you should be. Maybe I should keep advertising for.
Speaker 1: Food Hoggin DAWs black and white cookie ice cream, vanilla
Speaker 1: bean ice cream.
Speaker 2: They put swirls I got. Yeah, this is the second
Speaker 2: time I've gotten it. It is great.
Speaker 1: And here's what I always do. I eat like pretty
Speaker 1: much all of it, except for like.
Speaker 4: Wait, what size is this?
Speaker 2: It's like a pint.
Speaker 1: Okay, I eat pretty much all of it, and then
Speaker 1: I save one bite and then I was like and
Speaker 1: then I throw it away, and I'm like, well, at
Speaker 1: least I need the whole thing.
Speaker 2: Do you ever do that?
Speaker 7: Yeah, all the time, save the last and then throw
Speaker 7: it away and makes me feel better.
Speaker 1: So four PM, I got a whole pint of ice
Speaker 1: cream in me. I'm knocked out, knock out, three hours,
Speaker 1: wake up, confuse, sweaty, feeling like what the this is?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: What am I gonna do with my life? And then
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, I can't. I have to
Speaker 1: save this day.
Speaker 2: Somehow.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be able to sit alone on my
Speaker 1: computer and do stuff, but I do. I think I
Speaker 1: could summon the energy to go to the park and
Speaker 1: talk to people, because I like, I like doing this.
Speaker 2: This is fun.
Speaker 7: No, no, same, I the whole entire day I got
Speaker 7: really anxious.
Speaker 4: In the beginning of the day. No listen.
Speaker 7: So first I needed to get my pants, my jeans
Speaker 7: like hemmed and like altered. So I like looked up
Speaker 7: this place and I knew it was going to be
Speaker 7: expensive when I had to go to the tenth floor
Speaker 7: for it. So I go up the time floor and
Speaker 7: I'm thinking, like, I mean, how much do you expect
Speaker 7: it to be to like hem your pants or like
Speaker 7: you know, shorten it or like alter it.
Speaker 1: If you asked me to define what hemming is, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I I.
Speaker 7: Mean, like it's just like when they shorten like I said, okay,
Speaker 7: tailor or yeah yeah, or like they like make it
Speaker 7: a little bit tighter.
Speaker 1: Like how how how much you think it is? Where
Speaker 1: did you get it done in Manhattan?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I don't know. I just moved to her on
Speaker 2: the tenth floor.
Speaker 1: Okay, the tenth floor of a building to get your
Speaker 1: gene Thames one hundred and fifty dollars, dude?
Speaker 2: Literally was it one hundred exactly?
Speaker 7: Well, like she said it was like one fifty to
Speaker 7: one seven, Like that was like one of the numbers
Speaker 7: she gave me depending on like what she wanted to do.
Speaker 4: But like When I heard that, I was like, I.
Speaker 2: Made to buy a new pair of pants.
Speaker 7: At that point, She's just, oh, I had to get
Speaker 7: the dad jeans like the thrift store and they were
Speaker 7: like good, the design was good, so I just needed
Speaker 7: to get them tighter. But she said that, and I
Speaker 7: was like, my whole body was like super tense up.
Speaker 7: And I like, I walked all the way here and
Speaker 7: I'm like, I'm not fucking no, I'm not. They wanted
Speaker 7: like an arm and leg for to ham my freaking jeans.
Speaker 7: I thought it was gonna be.
Speaker 4: Like ten bucks.
Speaker 2: Oh, welcome to Manhattan.
Speaker 4: No, literally, where did you move from Florida?
Speaker 2: Florida?
Speaker 1: Oh, welcome to Manhattan. Yeah, Florida is like, we're in Florida?
Speaker 5: Or did?
Speaker 7: I was in undergrad before so I was in Orlando
Speaker 7: for like five years. But before that, I grew up
Speaker 7: in like Fort Lauderdale area.
Speaker 2: So why'd you move to New York for my n yu?
Speaker 2: Oh cool? Okay?
Speaker 1: So, uh, Florida is everything that we assume about it?
Speaker 2: Correct?
Speaker 4: What do you assume about it?
Speaker 1: I assume a lot of people there are kind of crazy,
Speaker 1: like you know, I mean here. Uh that's a good point. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, like Florida man culture.
Speaker 7: I mean yeah, like the people the driving there, like
Speaker 7: you know, they say, like, oh Florida like horrible drivers.
Speaker 7: I guess, but I thought people in Florida are pretty cool.
Speaker 2: Are you like excited to be here in New York?
Speaker 7: No, definitely, I really like it here because nobody gives
Speaker 7: a funk about what you do.
Speaker 2: Like do people in Florida give a fuck about what
Speaker 2: you do?
Speaker 7: I mean, I guess more in the way we're like
Speaker 7: if you walk out here and you dance or like
Speaker 7: show or where whatever you want, like nobody blinks, Like no,
Speaker 7: like nobody cares with God because I can just do
Speaker 7: whatever I want, and like nobody remembers your name, nobody cares.
Speaker 1: About you, and nobody cares about you all you could
Speaker 1: scream at the top of your lizard I am wearing
Speaker 1: a list and I'm wearing a I I uh yeah,
Speaker 1: nobody cares about you here.
Speaker 2: It's great.
Speaker 1: I mean you could be like I could here's the thing,
Speaker 1: Like I could see right here, I could lay face
Speaker 1: down along the ground. Yeah, for an infinite amount of
Speaker 1: time before anyone gave a ship, which is as which
Speaker 1: is a little sad, but uh, but true, you I
Speaker 1: could scream as loud as I want, nobody would care.
Speaker 2: You can.
Speaker 1: New York's a great place to cry. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you've cried in public yet, And did anyone bother you?
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: I I was with my friend the other night and
Speaker 1: we saw a lady crying in public, and my friend
Speaker 1: was like, should I go over and like say something?
Speaker 2: I feel bad? I was like, which, which is not
Speaker 2: some theory?
Speaker 1: Oh, but I mean I'm curious what you think, because
Speaker 1: I feel like, uh, if I'm a lady crying in public,
Speaker 1: I probably want to be left alone, as.
Speaker 4: Was your friend of guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, well.
Speaker 1: Okay, So if you're crying in public and like like
Speaker 1: someone came up to you, would you want that or
Speaker 1: would you want to be like a.
Speaker 7: Honestly, it depends on the state you're in. If you're
Speaker 7: like really really stressed out, someone coming up to you
Speaker 7: probably would get you even more aggravated. But if you're
Speaker 7: in a little bit of an open state where you're okay,
Speaker 7: like you'd actually wish someone was here for you because like,
Speaker 7: I don't know anyone here that could have been like
Speaker 7: a nice thing for me, Like I don't have any
Speaker 7: friends here. I don't have my family here. So I
Speaker 7: was crying in here the other day, and if somebody
Speaker 7: came up to me and asked, I'd probably be like,
Speaker 7: that's nice.
Speaker 2: Like can I ask you what you were crying about?
Speaker 7: Yeah, honestly, it was just tears of joy, actually, but
Speaker 7: like I think it was mixed with bitter sweet. It
Speaker 7: was because like I was feeling a little bit kind
Speaker 7: of sad, or like I had like a little insecure moment,
Speaker 7: like we all have insecure moments. And but right after,
Speaker 7: like right before I could even sink into the funk
Speaker 7: of that insecure moment, the waiter of the restaurant I
Speaker 7: was at gave me a rose, like he was like here.
Speaker 2: Like, oh, you're crying at a restaurant.
Speaker 7: No, no, no, no, I cried after tears of joy because
Speaker 7: I felt like God sees me.
Speaker 4: I was like, that was really a nice I think.
Speaker 7: I mean, I don't know what your concept of God is,
Speaker 7: but I don't really think God is like a man
Speaker 7: in the sky or like a just a ball of energy.
Speaker 7: I think it like has a personal relationship with me
Speaker 7: and is like I think God is love.
Speaker 4: I think any like loving gone.
Speaker 1: Do you believe that God is something like external that like,
Speaker 1: like there's an external thing that's keeping an eye on you.
Speaker 4: I think God is within us.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I think God is with them.
Speaker 7: And I think that any experience that has like love
Speaker 7: in it, warmth in it, authentic city in it, I
Speaker 7: believe like that's God working through people and working like
Speaker 7: orchestrating events to.
Speaker 4: Make you feel seen.
Speaker 7: So to me, when I was like feeling sad and
Speaker 7: then that waiter gave me a rose, I was like,
Speaker 7: what the fuck, Like I feel so seen and I
Speaker 7: just walked and I cried.
Speaker 4: It just made me feel better.
Speaker 2: I maybe, okay, maybe I'm not.
Speaker 1: Convinced on the idea that there's an external or even
Speaker 1: like an internal God that is orchestrating events.
Speaker 2: In your life.
Speaker 4: You think things are just coincidences every totally.
Speaker 2: I think everything.
Speaker 1: But but but I believe that because we live in
Speaker 1: an inherently meaningless world and God is within us, we
Speaker 1: as God are free to attribute meaning to whatever we want,
Speaker 1: and that meaning is completely valid because we're God. And
Speaker 1: because if nothing is valid, we get to discide what's valid.
Speaker 1: So if you want to create some whatever narrative you
Speaker 1: create in your brain about your life and about the
Speaker 1: world you as god, that narrative is correct, that's valid,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean?
Speaker 7: And also because like neuroscientifically, your brain is going to
Speaker 7: go out of its way to prove.
Speaker 4: Your narratives that you live on.
Speaker 5: Yes.
Speaker 7: Sure, So whatever you believe to be true, or whatever
Speaker 7: your perception is of life, your brain will scope it
Speaker 7: out or it will see everything in life and make
Speaker 7: that meaning.
Speaker 4: It reflects back whatever you think.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you study psychology. Yeah, how long have you been
Speaker 1: studying psychology?
Speaker 7: So I did my undergrad in it, which was like
Speaker 7: four years, but everything was online because of COVID, So
Speaker 7: I don't think I got to learn as much as
Speaker 7: people would have. It wasn't in COVID.
Speaker 1: This has a scientific basis to it, right, the idea that,
Speaker 1: like what you like, the narratives you craft in your
Speaker 1: own brain end up having some effect on your external reality.
Speaker 4: No, it's some.
Speaker 7: It's like your either your whole entire external reality is
Speaker 7: filter through your inner world.
Speaker 1: Like it makes you got I'm the god. I'm God
Speaker 1: of my own externality exactly.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, definitely you could see it that way.
Speaker 2: So what do you want to do with psychology?
Speaker 7: I want to be a speaker, writer, and I don't
Speaker 7: know advice therapist.
Speaker 4: I guess I work one on one.
Speaker 7: I just want to I want to discover some really
Speaker 7: crazy shit we haven't discovered in psychology and.
Speaker 4: Then use that to help people.
Speaker 7: Heal because I feel like there's so much brokenness and
Speaker 7: I'm like, and there's a we have found out a lot,
Speaker 7: but I'm like, there has to be something else we
Speaker 7: don't know because everyone is still really really depressed. Her like,
Speaker 7: maybe I can explain an idea in a way that
Speaker 7: nobody has before.
Speaker 1: So what you just said everyone is I want we
Speaker 1: want to discover something new because everyone is still really depressed.
Speaker 2: We kind of know why everyone's really.
Speaker 1: Depressed, don't anything well, because I mean a lot of
Speaker 1: reasons like, uh, economic turmoil and over use of technology
Speaker 1: and dopamine loops.
Speaker 2: And less recent dopamine loops. Uh what do I know
Speaker 2: about dopamine loops? Probably I know.
Speaker 1: I know about them only through anecdotal experience, not nothing
Speaker 1: to know. You probably have significantly as in one hundred
Speaker 1: percent more text.
Speaker 2: This isn't a test.
Speaker 4: I just wanted to know.
Speaker 7: I just was like doing some research about it last night,
Speaker 7: and I like realized.
Speaker 4: You know how people tell you like, oh, like.
Speaker 7: Just get off your phone and enjoy the present moment.
Speaker 7: Like why is everyone like addicted to like weed on
Speaker 7: your phone?
Speaker 4: Like be in real life. It's not as easy as.
Speaker 7: They say it is because chemically, your receptors, everyone's receptors
Speaker 7: are fucking shocked.
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 7: So if you wake up and you go on your phone,
Speaker 7: if you every time you're stressed out you like grab
Speaker 7: your joint, If every time you're upset you eat food,
Speaker 7: your receptors are getting your receptors become more sensitive to
Speaker 7: that dopamine. But it's high reward with really low efforts. Yeah,
Speaker 7: So anytime you do something that is higher effort with
Speaker 7: low reward, maybe like a scale, like a puzzle or meditating,
Speaker 7: like your your receptors aren't picking up on that dopamine.
Speaker 7: It literally chemically does not feel good to you anymore.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so our receptors can they be tell us veda,
Speaker 1: Can our receptors be restored to us?
Speaker 4: Definitely?
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's you basically are just gonna have to dial
Speaker 7: down your usage of whatever vice you're kind of addicted
Speaker 7: to that's giving you too much high reward with really
Speaker 7: low effort and then what go ahead and then replace
Speaker 7: it with something else which is gonna feel uncomfortable obviously.
Speaker 2: Are you in any different mean loops? Do you have
Speaker 2: any vices?
Speaker 7: No, I recently, I mean I'm sure I do, but
Speaker 7: they're I really try to. I have replaced them with
Speaker 7: healthier things because I recently quit alcohol, weed, and nicotine
Speaker 7: and coffee just because like.
Speaker 2: I got with coffee.
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, well no, because like you're a nervous system.
Speaker 7: Everyone's nervous system is really sensitive. So every time you
Speaker 7: feel that like jitteriness, like sometimes it could be from
Speaker 7: insecurity or sometimes it can be from coffee. And I
Speaker 7: want to be able to know if it's because I'm
Speaker 7: insecure or like if I'm having an insecure moment, if
Speaker 7: I'm having like a wound come up. And it's harder
Speaker 7: to tell if I'm drinking coffee because now my nervous
Speaker 7: system is like feeling jittery from that food. I still
Speaker 7: drink macha and like tea.
Speaker 2: But I just stopped.
Speaker 7: I just stopped coffee just because I want to be
Speaker 7: able to track my body a little bit more accurately.
Speaker 2: Was it difficult to quit all those did you quit
Speaker 2: all three of that once.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Hard.
Speaker 4: I honestly just had a really.
Speaker 7: I experienced ego death, and through that I was able
Speaker 7: to quit because I wanted to try really hard to
Speaker 7: be able to retain everything I felt, and I thought
Speaker 7: if I did it scientifically, I could do it. And
Speaker 7: that was just one of the ways that I found that.
Speaker 4: I could kind of keep a healthier state.
Speaker 7: But this is it sounds crazy, Okay, Well, so that's why, like,
Speaker 7: I don't like to compare my experience to other people,
Speaker 7: because if I didn't go through that, I would it
Speaker 7: would have been way harder.
Speaker 2: What did your ego death look like?
Speaker 7: Honestly, dude, it's too personal and I haven't been wanting
Speaker 7: to talk about it.
Speaker 4: One day, I'm going to write a book on it.
Speaker 7: But yeah, I just thought I might as well share
Speaker 7: that it's been. Like, it was so intense that I, like,
Speaker 7: I didn't share it with anyone because.
Speaker 2: I when did this happen?
Speaker 6: March?
Speaker 4: At the end of March?
Speaker 2: How do you define an egos?
Speaker 5: There?
Speaker 7: When you lose all concept of self and separation, you
Speaker 7: have no I lost concept of time, and it was
Speaker 7: it was scary at first because I didn't understand what
Speaker 7: was happening. Yeah, and then I it became honestly like surreal,
Speaker 7: and it was the best feeling. It's what made me
Speaker 7: believe in God, honestly. Like that is why I am
Speaker 7: so passionate about like love and like God with him,
Speaker 7: because before that I had so much resentment towards religion
Speaker 7: and like because I grew up really Christian, Like my
Speaker 7: mom was super strict about it, but I had so
Speaker 7: much like Gill and like fear based religion, Like I
Speaker 7: just I hated it. I grew very resemful, and I
Speaker 7: like just stopped caring about it for a while, like
Speaker 7: for honestly most.
Speaker 4: Of my college years.
Speaker 7: And then after this, like my brain fucking exploded and
Speaker 7: like I never went back.
Speaker 1: So it's interesting that you say that your ego death
Speaker 1: was a beautiful thing, because I had an ego death
Speaker 1: back in February that led to like existential depression because
Speaker 1: like once once I realized just how much I don't matter.
Speaker 1: Like that's how I kind of feel like the ego
Speaker 1: death is it led me to a bit of a
Speaker 1: state of nihilism, which I've I've been able to overcome,
Speaker 1: you know, But the ego death was a very unplayed.
Speaker 1: It made me feel like I was like at a
Speaker 1: kne Brothers movie, you know what I mean. Like I'm like,
Speaker 1: uh oh, what the fuck this is? Like what an
Speaker 1: insane cosmic predicament I've never actually thought about?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 7: Yeah, No, I see that a lot of people have
Speaker 7: different experiences with it, like I. So that's what I'm
Speaker 7: trying to do research on, is like what ego death
Speaker 7: actually is and how many people actually go through it
Speaker 7: because there has to be different definitions for the different
Speaker 7: types of experiences.
Speaker 2: And you had a specific experience.
Speaker 7: I had the most, Like It's like, dude, I had
Speaker 7: the most insane fucking experience in my fucking life.
Speaker 1: So you want to discover I was back to like
Speaker 1: the studying of psychological concepts. Yeah, you want to discover
Speaker 1: something that we have not discovered before.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I want to.
Speaker 7: I have this thing where like I get really angry
Speaker 7: seeing the same things all the time, like seeing the
Speaker 7: same advice being given all the time, and I get.
Speaker 2: What is the advice you see given all the time?
Speaker 7: It's just like repetitive things like oh, like you know,
Speaker 7: your inner world reflects your outer world, like things we've
Speaker 7: already talked.
Speaker 4: About or like get off your phone, like meditate, like
Speaker 4: and I get.
Speaker 7: It those things like how but like maybe it needs
Speaker 7: to be explained in a way or like I need
Speaker 7: to find I just don't want to say the same
Speaker 7: things like.
Speaker 1: I and and by the way, fully fully supportive of
Speaker 1: your vision to discover a new thing, But don't I
Speaker 1: feel like the answer probably lies not within like the
Speaker 1: the answer if there is an answer, but like wouldn't
Speaker 1: he wouldn't the answer if there was one, not lie
Speaker 1: in the discovery of new information, but in the application
Speaker 1: of the information we already have.
Speaker 7: Yeah, so I'm not saying that everything I know is
Speaker 7: based upon the research we've already we already have, Like
Speaker 7: without it, we would we would not be able to.
Speaker 2: So what is that?
Speaker 1: What is there that I'm so fascinated by what you
Speaker 1: what you mean by you want to discover something new?
Speaker 2: What is there new to discover?
Speaker 4: There's so much new to discover, Like.
Speaker 7: There are so many things today that people like twenty
Speaker 7: years ago never even knew, like all neuroscience research or
Speaker 7: psychological research, like it's it's keeps growing and growing, and
Speaker 7: I and I know it seems like we probably already
Speaker 7: know everything.
Speaker 4: But I refuse to believe that, like, I don't know,
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think, I don't I don't think we already
Speaker 1: know everything.
Speaker 4: I just I don't know.
Speaker 7: I have a big fixation on like inventing something like
Speaker 7: I don't I don't know. I just hate saying the
Speaker 7: same shit everyone already knows. I just want to discover
Speaker 7: something that nobody's ever talked about. And I like psychology,
Speaker 7: so I'm like, okay, it'll be in psychology because I'm
Speaker 7: obsessed with psychology.
Speaker 2: Would you ever be a therapist?
Speaker 4: Not Like when I.
Speaker 7: Think of a therapist, I think of like a really
Speaker 7: boring person who doesn't like their job and is doing
Speaker 7: this because they wanted a fast agree.
Speaker 4: So I'm sure it's not always like that.
Speaker 7: But like when I think of a therapist, I think
Speaker 7: of like, I just think of that like a person
Speaker 7: who's not as passionate.
Speaker 4: So I want to be.
Speaker 7: A researcher, but use my research also do one on
Speaker 7: one work with people.
Speaker 4: So I guess, yeah, that's a therapist.
Speaker 1: But what you want to do be a researcher, You
Speaker 1: want to be like a coach and well, and I.
Speaker 4: Want to be a speaker.
Speaker 7: I want to be a public speaker, and I guess
Speaker 7: what a coach, public speaker, a writer, just all of that,
Speaker 7: anything that has to do with talking and sharing. But
Speaker 7: in regards to psychology, so I don't really care about labels.
Speaker 2: I support the vision data.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what do you want to do?
Speaker 1: I've wanted to do the same thing for like six years,
Speaker 1: which is travel around the world and talk to people.
Speaker 4: Nice.
Speaker 1: So I actually I do think a lot like what
Speaker 1: would I do with my life? I could do anything,
Speaker 1: And it's.
Speaker 4: Like everyone should think like that, all.
Speaker 1: You know, travel the world and talk to people. So
Speaker 1: I guess that's what I'm doing right now. And uh,
Speaker 1: you know, host like events.
Speaker 4: Is it as you thought it would be?
Speaker 1: Is it as fulfilling as STU thought it would be? No,
Speaker 1: nothing as ever as fulfilling as you think it's gonna be.
Speaker 7: You think, yeah, or maybe you just haven't enjoyed any
Speaker 7: of it.
Speaker 1: Well, it's actually hold on, is it a feeling as
Speaker 1: thought it's gonna be? I enjoy I'm enjoying this right now.
Speaker 1: I'm enjoying it is fulfilling. Yes, it is fulfilling. It's
Speaker 1: a feeling. But you always think that like the things
Speaker 1: that you always think that when you achieve your dreams,
Speaker 1: it's gonna ascend you into something beyond your set whatever.
Speaker 1: But you're still you're never you never escape your life.
Speaker 1: Yeah you know what that makes sense?
Speaker 7: Yeah, well it's because you think it's gonna bring you
Speaker 7: some sense of security or something.
Speaker 2: Because you think it's gonna bring some sense of security.
Speaker 1: But I'm slowly realizing every year I get older and
Speaker 1: every dream I accomplish, that security does not exist.
Speaker 7: Are you sure that you just haven't reached it on
Speaker 7: your own?
Speaker 1: We're gonna die, se there's no such thing as security.
Speaker 1: We're gonna We're gonna die and we a We're gonna
Speaker 1: die and then be.
Speaker 2: We live in an unpredictable, chaotic worlds.
Speaker 1: There's no there's no security ever and so therefore all
Speaker 1: you all there is is the present moment. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: so security is kind of a bit of a myth.
Speaker 4: No, so let me rephrase.
Speaker 7: When I think of security, I think of the feeling
Speaker 7: of wholeness, like you're calling, like without any of this.
Speaker 4: And that's the thing.
Speaker 7: People are thinking that their achievements or their promotion or
Speaker 7: their partner is gonna give them that feeling of wholeness,
Speaker 7: that security, feeling like Okay, now I feel good, But
Speaker 7: it never gives them that because it's never gonna be outside,
Speaker 7: it's gonna be Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: I felt well, I feel whole. Sometimes I don't think
Speaker 1: feeling whole for me is.
Speaker 2: Not a uh one and done.
Speaker 1: Oh I feel whole now, Like I like, like I
Speaker 1: didn't feel like I was when I was at this
Speaker 1: block party thing smoking weed today. I felt something was off.
Speaker 1: I felt a lack. Yeah, I was like, I'm not,
Speaker 1: I don't I feel like I'm off in some way, yeah,
Speaker 1: or like I like I'll be like out of the
Speaker 1: thing or doing something. I have moments in my life
Speaker 1: where I feel a strong sense of a lack and
Speaker 1: I feel a strong whatever the opposite of hole is.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, I was just on the
Speaker 1: subway one morning and I was like and I had
Speaker 1: a moment of wholeness where I was like, I feel
Speaker 1: my life is great. My life is exactly how I
Speaker 1: ever wanted it to be. I live in New York.
Speaker 1: I do I have a cool thing. I do as
Speaker 1: a get go. I have friends, Like I mean, like,
Speaker 1: everything is great. I have no need for anything. This
Speaker 1: is great. I have moments of wholeness. But wholeness is
Speaker 1: not like a I am now whole forever. It's a
Speaker 1: thing you have to constantly get in touch.
Speaker 7: Yeah, of course you don't think you can feel a
Speaker 7: hole when you're sad too, though.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, sometimes when I feel sad and depressed. Uh,
Speaker 1: I guess I feel whole in the sense of like
Speaker 1: I've accepted that this is just just happens.
Speaker 2: This is just part of that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, because there's no security, and so when
Speaker 1: you think that, oh, eventually I'm going to arrive, it's
Speaker 1: some version of my life that is completely devoid of problems,
Speaker 1: completely devoid of sadness, completely devoid of anything which I
Speaker 1: have often and still a little bit too believe I
Speaker 1: will one day achieve, which is good.
Speaker 2: It's good to have that. It's good. It's good to
Speaker 2: want things. It's good, like the lack is good.
Speaker 1: It motivates you to want to keep doing stuff, because
Speaker 1: if I just felt whole and amazing all the time,
Speaker 1: I never try to do anything.
Speaker 7: You know, So you think you can only want to
Speaker 7: do things whenever you feel like sad or insecure about
Speaker 7: not getting there.
Speaker 2: It's I don't think I can. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't think I only can. But it's a damn
Speaker 1: good motivator, is it not.
Speaker 7: You don't think like you could feel motivated if you
Speaker 7: already were secure in yourself, like just out of like
Speaker 7: pure interest like that I want to do that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I can. Okay, I think so.
Speaker 1: I think I a little bit of that, And then
Speaker 1: sometimes I'm like, then sometimes I'll chase things out of
Speaker 1: I'll chase things.
Speaker 2: I've had time in my life.
Speaker 1: Where I felt like I was chasing things out of security,
Speaker 1: and then times I felt like I was chasing things
Speaker 1: out of insecurity.
Speaker 2: Yeah, have you ever chased?
Speaker 1: Do you ever chase? Like in your life? Do you
Speaker 1: only chase out of insecurity?
Speaker 2: At least? Sorry, do you only chase out of security?
Speaker 6: Well?
Speaker 4: I mean it's not.
Speaker 7: Like a choice I can consciously make all the time.
Speaker 7: But like I think, for most of my life and
Speaker 7: if everyone were honest with themselves, a lot of their
Speaker 7: driving factors of wanting to get somewhere is because they
Speaker 7: want to prove something to themselves or prove something to
Speaker 7: other people, or not because they genuinely find Maybe it's
Speaker 7: like half and half like you said, but I realized
Speaker 7: that I don't want to do things to feel better
Speaker 7: about myself. I want to do it because I actually
Speaker 7: like it, And then feeling better about myself is gonna.
Speaker 2: Have to come.
Speaker 7: Well, yes, but also like true secure and yourself can calm,
Speaker 7: like without the job, without like the friends, with the
Speaker 7: accomplishments I.
Speaker 2: Think about.
Speaker 1: I think about this all the time, and I used
Speaker 1: to believe. And it's a very stoic. But the's a
Speaker 1: lot of stoicism I think you're talking about.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I'm very stoic.
Speaker 2: I guess I have in my life been very stoic too.
Speaker 4: But you said, now you're a nihilist, right.
Speaker 1: No, I won't. I don't identify with any of this.
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm a gecko.
Speaker 4: Oh I forgot.
Speaker 2: I'm just a gecko.
Speaker 1: But I've thought a lot about the idea of like
Speaker 1: could I live a life where I talked to my
Speaker 1: sister about I said this to my sister once. It
Speaker 1: just makes fun of me about it, but I said
Speaker 1: to my sister once, Uh, I'd love to live a
Speaker 1: life where I had no money, no friends, uh, no accomplishments,
Speaker 1: and I was naked on a beach and I felt
Speaker 1: happy and then like I'm but she didn't understand when
Speaker 1: I met by that I don't And so now she's like, wow,
Speaker 1: do you remember when you told me that you want
Speaker 1: to not have any friends? I was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm but got it, and I said that and that's
Speaker 1: what I you know, that's what like, that's that's the
Speaker 1: dream of a life of only intrinsic happiness.
Speaker 2: But that's well, that's unrealistic.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of life. I just think you're
Speaker 1: bullshitting yourself if you think that you can, like, you know,
Speaker 1: only live a life of completely intrinsic happiness.
Speaker 2: You need other people, You need the world, well you do.
Speaker 4: Well, science, that's not what that means. It means that.
Speaker 7: You don't need them to feel happy. You do need them,
Speaker 7: like socially, when I say happy, I mean like you
Speaker 7: don't need it to feel secure in yourself, But scientifically, yeah,
Speaker 7: you need to talk to people like we are social creatures. Yes,
Speaker 7: you need like a home and you need money to live.
Speaker 4: But what I mean is that.
Speaker 7: If you didn't have your fan base, if you didn't
Speaker 7: have this, if you didn't have your.
Speaker 4: Accomplishments, who do you believe you are?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 7: Can you still like feel complete and whole without every
Speaker 7: external thing, Like that's the question, and like that's what
Speaker 7: I'm trying to practice, is like feeling like I don't
Speaker 7: need I don't need anything exterior to keep myself secure
Speaker 7: in myself.
Speaker 2: You're in school now, right, Yeah?
Speaker 1: If the school said to you you're banned from school,
Speaker 1: you can never study psychology ever again because you like
Speaker 1: a youied.
Speaker 2: You failed your test, and I think that a school.
Speaker 2: How would that?
Speaker 1: Or are your friends right, your friends, well, okay, all
Speaker 1: your friends back home? If they if all your friends
Speaker 1: were like, hey, we don't want to talk to you anymore,
Speaker 1: and your parents died, you have a little bit of
Speaker 1: you have any money but in your bank account? Yeah,
Speaker 1: if it all went to zero and all these things
Speaker 1: happened to once and you have clothes in your words?
Speaker 2: Are that you like that?
Speaker 1: You're getting hem's you know, if everything went away. You're
Speaker 1: telling me right now that that you're telling me that
Speaker 1: wouldn't suck. No, you're telling me, after all that you
Speaker 1: could still be like still feel secure and secure, not
Speaker 1: not still, but you're telling me that you wouldn't feel
Speaker 1: like how would you have?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I want I will I'll a phrase that question,
Speaker 1: how would you feel?
Speaker 7: So there's a I think there's like different definitions here.
Speaker 7: You can feel secure in who you are while still
Speaker 7: having sad moments in life. Your life, there's always gonna
Speaker 7: be painful moments like yeah, family's gonna die.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if I got kids out of school, that would suck.
Speaker 7: I would still feel sad, but I wouldn't make it
Speaker 7: mean anything about my worth is basically what I'm saying,
Speaker 7: like understanding that you're always worthy and to always believe
Speaker 7: in yourself no matter how many people are watching, no
Speaker 7: matter how many friends you have, or no matter if
Speaker 7: that school accepts you, Like if the school didn't accept me,
Speaker 7: if nobody wanted to be my friend, if I didn't
Speaker 7: have money or any status, I should still know that
Speaker 7: I am worthy and I should still like myself. It's
Speaker 7: not contingent upon if you accept me.
Speaker 2: If that makes sense, that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2: And that makes a lot of.
Speaker 1: Sense, and I buy that that makes a lot of sense. Uveda,
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer.
Speaker 2: Before we go?
Speaker 4: Choose love over fear?
Speaker 2: Thank you, Ada, good luck with your your your journeys.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much for letting me speak.
Speaker 2: Of course, see Venam, have a seat. What's your name?
Speaker 8: Cameron?
Speaker 2: Ammo, Cameron, Cameron, what's up? Cameron? Did you Cameron? Cameron?
Speaker 2: Are you here? Just now?
Speaker 1: For that whole conversation, I did not hear Oh you
Speaker 1: didn't hear any of it or heard like maybe twenty
Speaker 1: percent of That's okay, we can we can. We can
Speaker 1: be in our own conversation.
Speaker 8: I heard some stuff about like Ego Duff.
Speaker 2: We did talk about Ego Dad.
Speaker 1: We talked about uh, we talked about a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1: But you know what that was that interview? And this
Speaker 1: is this one? And how is your night at the
Speaker 1: park going?
Speaker 8: Is just getting started?
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do later?
Speaker 8: I have no idea.
Speaker 1: You have no idea, but you know you're gonna do something.
Speaker 1: You know that the eving's just getting started? Yeah, how
Speaker 1: do you know that? The but it's like what it's what?
Speaker 2: What? What time is it right now?
Speaker 1: It's like ten something?
Speaker 8: This is your is your girlfriend? Oh no, all right,
Speaker 8: that's my parole officer. He makes sure I don't like
Speaker 8: get into any trouble. Okay, do you uh do you
Speaker 8: normally get into trouble? Yeah, what do you get into?
Speaker 8: What kind of trouble do you get into? I don't
Speaker 8: think I'm allowed to say it on camera.
Speaker 1: You don't have to you don't have to do anything.
Speaker 1: What do you do for fun?
Speaker 8: For fun? I'm also not saying that on camera.
Speaker 1: We're gonna I'm gonna keep going until we get to
Speaker 1: something that you can say on camera.
Speaker 2: Okay, what is your relationship like with your parents?
Speaker 8: My mom's really nice and with my dad, I hope
Speaker 8: he's not watching. It is weird, Like he's very inconsistent,
Speaker 8: very strange, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: How long has that been happening.
Speaker 8: I want to say since like nine ten. It's like
Speaker 8: as you grow up, you kind of see the cracks
Speaker 8: and you're like, it's still my dad, but it's kind
Speaker 8: of horrible as a human being. He does some bad things.
Speaker 8: So I'm just I don't get it.
Speaker 2: Do you guys still talk?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 8: Well we live in the same house. Yeah, but it's
Speaker 8: like some days he's tolerable to be around it. Other
Speaker 8: days it's like I'm doing everything my power to stay
Speaker 8: away from him. Like right now, I don't want to
Speaker 8: go home because I don't want to see him. He's
Speaker 8: not really, it's someone you want to talk to.
Speaker 2: But your mom is nice?
Speaker 8: Yes, really nice?
Speaker 2: What is nice about your mom?
Speaker 8: Even though she has like a New Yorker attitude, like
Speaker 8: normally you know how we are, we don't like talking
Speaker 8: to people, we keep it pushing, She's still really kind.
Speaker 8: If you approach her the right way, she'll always find
Speaker 8: like something nice in people. She told me to always
Speaker 8: be kind of respectful things like that. She's just a
Speaker 8: really nice lady. Even if she wasn't my mom, I would.
Speaker 2: Say that, do you have any siblings?
Speaker 8: I have a sister. You have a sister, Yeah, a
Speaker 8: younger sister.
Speaker 2: What's her deal?
Speaker 8: She's just a teenage girl. That's all I'm gonna say.
Speaker 2: Do you guys have a good relationship?
Speaker 8: Yeah? She shook me be annoying from time to time,
Speaker 8: But yeah, do.
Speaker 2: You go to school in the city.
Speaker 8: I go to LaGuardia Community College that's in Long Island City.
Speaker 2: Cool? How's school done? Get me the fuck out at her?
Speaker 2: Out of what?
Speaker 4: Wait?
Speaker 2: Where's here is that at a school?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, I thought you meant. I thought you were like,
Speaker 2: I can't handle this interview. These are too much. How's
Speaker 2: school going is too hot seat of a question. What
Speaker 2: was I gonna say?
Speaker 8: Uh? Why do you hate school? I went into it
Speaker 8: way too early. I should have taken maybe a year
Speaker 8: to think about what I want to do. But I'm
Speaker 8: more dead set on something else rather than what I'm
Speaker 8: pursuing in school.
Speaker 2: And what are you pursuing in school?
Speaker 8: Paralegal studies?
Speaker 2: Okay, that's It's like the other lady you wanted to
Speaker 2: be a lawyer.
Speaker 8: She wanted to be a full lawyer. I'm just what
Speaker 8: I am to a lawyer is like what a nurse
Speaker 8: is to a doctor. Not doing really anything?
Speaker 2: Is that? Is that your vibe? Is that what you
Speaker 2: want to be? A paralegal?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 2: What do you want to be? Oh?
Speaker 8: I want to join the fire department. That's something I
Speaker 8: really care about.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, so what's preventing you from joining the fire department? Oh?
Speaker 8: Not from really. I already took the test, but it's
Speaker 8: like a long process. So even though I took the
Speaker 8: written test, I still got to do the physical, then
Speaker 8: psychiatric and whatnot. That's gonna take a while.
Speaker 2: Do you think you're going to do well on the
Speaker 2: psychiatric and the physical?
Speaker 8: Yes?
Speaker 2: Yes, it's funny that it took you a second to think.
Speaker 1: About it, probably better than the written than the written Yeah,
Speaker 1: what is involved in the written firefighter test?
Speaker 8: It is just like basic english and math questions. But
Speaker 8: like the day of when I took it, I only
Speaker 8: got maybe four hours of sleep because I was stressed out.
Speaker 2: Oh no, really, do you you seem like.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know you very well. We've only
Speaker 1: been talking for a little bit, but you seem like
Speaker 1: a low stress guy.
Speaker 8: Or is that just like probably what it looks like
Speaker 8: on the surface, but like it's like up and down.
Speaker 2: Okay, what stresses you out the most in life?
Speaker 8: Myself?
Speaker 2: Why do you stress yourself out?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 8: I'm gonna skip that one. Huh, I'm skip that one.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, that's okay. I'm trying to think if I
Speaker 1: have any I feel like I you know this, I
Speaker 1: gotta say. This isn't meant to be like a therapy session.
Speaker 1: It just ends up being that for most of these
Speaker 1: interviews we can do, we don't have we can talk
Speaker 1: about random ass ship.
Speaker 8: I can see why it ends up like that because
Speaker 8: like when you meet someone like one time, it's easy
Speaker 8: just to say things like that. Total It's like I
Speaker 8: would say, but like, I'm surrounded by people, so it's
Speaker 8: like kind of more like ooh, I don't want to
Speaker 8: say that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's weird because we're around a circle of people.
Speaker 1: But I feel very uh, this is very chi This
Speaker 1: feels very chill, Like I just feel like I'm just
Speaker 1: looking at you.
Speaker 2: I feel like we're just talking. But you know, all
Speaker 2: of my like inherent.
Speaker 1: Curiosities are probably about like, uh, therapy questions.
Speaker 2: Somebody's asking you something.
Speaker 1: Oh, so do you want to talk about anything that's
Speaker 1: not therapy ish?
Speaker 8: I want to ask what makes you want to do this?
Speaker 8: I know you probably get that a lot, but like,
Speaker 8: this is my first time seeing you. What makes you
Speaker 8: want to do this?
Speaker 1: I mean it's a fun thing to do, is you
Speaker 1: know you get to hang out with random people?
Speaker 8: How do the idea come about? Like why a gecko?
Speaker 8: In particular?
Speaker 2: Do you believe you can be anything you want.
Speaker 8: If you try hard enough? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Why not be a get go?
Speaker 8: I feel like in an alternate university probably shows like
Speaker 8: a rat because if it's New York City, much better.
Speaker 1: There is another guy who does well, he doesn't really
Speaker 1: do this, but he does stress up as a rat.
Speaker 2: Nice? What do you want to be when you grow
Speaker 2: up the firefighter?
Speaker 8: Yes?
Speaker 2: What do you say to that it's appealing to you
Speaker 2: about the firefighter life?
Speaker 8: Well, for one, it's not as high stress as do
Speaker 8: you think You're not always going to go into a
Speaker 8: burning building. But I like the aspect that it's kind
Speaker 8: of like military because you have a brotherhood with you
Speaker 8: without actually doing, you know, questionable stuff like the military.
Speaker 8: You're just saving people, helping them out and maybe someone's
Speaker 8: like having a panic attack, someone who needs medical help,
Speaker 8: or just someone in a burning building. That's a lot
Speaker 8: better than like going overseas and doing some crazy stuff.
Speaker 8: I'd rather do that.
Speaker 2: Who is this person that keeps talking to This is
Speaker 2: your friend?
Speaker 8: This is my close friend. I met him, he goes
Speaker 8: by him. I met him in June and we have
Speaker 8: been hanging out constantly ever since.
Speaker 2: You guys meet.
Speaker 8: It was a friend thing. So basically the whole day
Speaker 8: we had people rotating in and out. I had taken
Speaker 8: like a little faery thing around the city, and I
Speaker 8: took a trip to Brooklyn with my friends and we're
Speaker 8: eating at the restaurant. He shows up, and the whole
Speaker 8: time I'm thinking I'm gonna meet this person one time
Speaker 8: in my life and now he's one of my close friends.
Speaker 8: I don't know how it happened.
Speaker 2: What do you do? Like, do you have any hobbies?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 8: Uh, working out?
Speaker 2: I like to.
Speaker 8: Honestly, I love walking just everywhere too, everywhere.
Speaker 2: That's my favorite thing about New York because you can
Speaker 2: just walk everywhere. It's fucking sick.
Speaker 8: It's really stimulating.
Speaker 2: You go to the gym, you said, what do you bench? Oh? Sick,
Speaker 2: That's that's awesome.
Speaker 8: It's nice. My friend he keeps passing me because he's like,
Speaker 8: if you keep going more, you can do more than that.
Speaker 8: And I'm just like, I already hit two twenty five.
Speaker 8: This is why I clock out.
Speaker 2: What squat?
Speaker 8: I do? Not squat? I do hot squat. Yeah. It's
Speaker 8: annoying though, because like.
Speaker 2: Do you do you?
Speaker 8: What are you?
Speaker 2: What's your overhead press?
Speaker 8: I don't overhead pros, but you just bench.
Speaker 1: For shoulders? Been talking about overhead Like I just do
Speaker 1: cable stuff. Oh okay, yeah that's cool. Where do you
Speaker 1: go to the gym?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 8: This is gym called retro fitness, Like not too far
Speaker 8: from my house, sick, that's where I go.
Speaker 2: Is it a nice gym?
Speaker 8: Oh, it gives the job done. Like, yeah, I won't
Speaker 8: complain about the conditions if I can get big.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, dude, I don't know this.
Speaker 1: You can get you can like get a pretty damn
Speaker 1: good workout, uh, just like around the house, like if
Speaker 1: like I sometimes like if I don't have like equipment,
Speaker 1: I'll just curl a chair, you know, like grab a
Speaker 1: chair by like the legs.
Speaker 8: You know, you can just get it hit right now,
Speaker 8: do calisent X.
Speaker 1: But thanks to push I want to push up seething.
Speaker 1: You can do I want to say twenty twenty twenty
Speaker 1: clean ones.
Speaker 8: I'll say that.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's pretty good, like twenty right now, right now
Speaker 1: in front of you. No, no, no, no, wait, what do
Speaker 1: I mean? No, No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean right now.
Speaker 1: What I meant was that was me subliminally being like,
Speaker 1: I want to I want to see you do push ups,
Speaker 1: but I'm not gonna do that because this is an
Speaker 1: audio podcast, and I think us doing a push up
Speaker 1: contest it would look funny for the video, but it
Speaker 1: would be it wouldn't make a lot of sense.
Speaker 2: Oka for the audio.
Speaker 8: That's wrong.
Speaker 1: We could do one, all right, Yeah, we'll do one Okay, Brandon,
Speaker 1: we're gonna cut this. Well, you can leave this part
Speaker 1: in me telling it. Brandon, who edits this podcast, shout
Speaker 1: at to Brandon. We'll leave this in, but Brandon will
Speaker 1: cut out from the video. From the audio version of this,
Speaker 1: We're gonna cut out the push up contest, but in
Speaker 1: the video version, will keep it in. But also this
Speaker 1: speech mentioning that we're gonna cut it out of the
Speaker 1: of the audio version, but keep it in the video version.
Speaker 2: We'll keep that in.
Speaker 8: Well do all right?
Speaker 2: Okay, so yeah, let's do you want to do some
Speaker 2: push ups together? Yeah? Okay, all right, I see how
Speaker 2: many we can do. How made you get.
Speaker 8: Who said thirty five?
Speaker 2: I think thirty five? Okay, I got twenty five, so
Speaker 2: you win gigs. That's pretty good.
Speaker 1: Oh thanks, that was I felt like that was pretty
Speaker 1: My max that I've ever done in the world was
Speaker 1: thirty but I can only do twenty five.
Speaker 2: I feel good about that.
Speaker 6: How do you do?
Speaker 2: You feel good? Isn't that a good?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 2: You just did a whole long con say about dopamine.
Speaker 2: I got it. It's really nice. It feels good to
Speaker 2: do push ups.
Speaker 8: I'm coming off the high.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh man, Okay, what do you uh, what do you
Speaker 1: want to say to the people now that you like
Speaker 1: now that you feel good from doing from they feel
Speaker 1: high from push ups?
Speaker 2: Huh oh wait wait wait what do you what do
Speaker 2: you what do you want to say to the people?
Speaker 8: Uh? You should talk to your friends more. They're really
Speaker 8: nice people. That's included.
Speaker 2: What's your name again, man, Cameron? Cameron?
Speaker 1: I go? Oh wait, I guess I already did the
Speaker 1: what do you want to? But do you have any
Speaker 1: final things you want to say to the people the
Speaker 1: computer before we go?
Speaker 8: Don't shut yourself off. Always talk to your friends when
Speaker 8: you get the chance.
Speaker 1: Please please, Cameron, thank you very much for talking to
Speaker 1: a g echo. I feel like I could have done more. No,
Speaker 1: I couldn't have. Twenty five was good.
Speaker 2: Hello. What's your name? Sir?
Speaker 6: Saren?
Speaker 2: Saraed? Yeah, Sared?
Speaker 1: What's up? Sarad has life? It's it's okay, Sarah, your favorite?
Speaker 2: Just hold the mic up? Yeah, sorry, Sarah, Sarad, Sarad?
Speaker 2: What's sar?
Speaker 6: Saren?
Speaker 2: Sorry? One more time? Saren?
Speaker 1: S e r.
Speaker 2: Oh, Saren? Okay like Saren dipity yeah, there we go,
Speaker 2: all right, Saren? What's up? Sarah, Saren, have you been
Speaker 2: how long have you been hanging out here for watching
Speaker 2: the scrap?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 6: Well we were here saying setup if that's what you means.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, cool, all right, So bring us home, Saren.
Speaker 2: What do we learn?
Speaker 4: Oh? Well, not gonna lie.
Speaker 6: Has been kind of hard to hear you oldest music,
Speaker 6: oldest people. It's very overstimulating. I've noticed you got the
Speaker 6: social worker not thing going.
Speaker 2: On, social worker nod thing? Oh what's the social worker
Speaker 2: nod thing?
Speaker 4: Like the what you call it?
Speaker 6: The affirmative active listening.
Speaker 2: Yes, I do have an annoying active listening nod.
Speaker 1: There was some re on Instagram that was like, pov
Speaker 1: your friend is an active listener and it was like
Speaker 1: a clearly like very like annoyingly active listener person. And
Speaker 1: my friend sent it in like our group chat and
Speaker 1: it was like lyle when he goes therapy Gecko mode
Speaker 1: on you, and I was like, damn.
Speaker 2: That sucks.
Speaker 6: Do you have a social work background?
Speaker 2: No, no, Dad, I don't have.
Speaker 1: A social work background. I'm just I'm just curious about
Speaker 1: the world and shit makes sense.
Speaker 2: Na Ya, So who are you?
Speaker 6: That's a great question. I've been trying to figure that
Speaker 6: out because I've been asking my entire life. So I'm
Speaker 6: slowly trying to like bring myself to like actualize who
Speaker 6: I am, what I like, what I want to do
Speaker 6: with my life, all these different things.
Speaker 2: What's the process of figuring that out?
Speaker 6: Well, we haven't started it yet, not totality.
Speaker 2: Okay, but he was thinking about it.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 6: Yeah, the only reason I haven't started it is because
Speaker 6: I'm still in school. Like, what's I'm done with school though,
Speaker 6: then we can start to like completely deconstruct my routine
Speaker 6: that I have that's keeping everything in place. Sure, that's
Speaker 6: just how I see it, because my routine is what's
Speaker 6: keeping me stable. Yeah, and what's there's No, you don't
Speaker 6: want to uh yeah, nine until I'm done with school.
Speaker 2: Okay, when you done with school?
Speaker 6: Uh? Next it should be next, Joan, honestly.
Speaker 1: Next one June next year. Okay, so you've got about
Speaker 1: a year before you have to deconstruct yourself. Yeah that's
Speaker 1: pretty good. Yeah, that's enjoy this year. Once you start
Speaker 1: deconstructing yourself, it's uh, I don't know. It's it's like
Speaker 1: opening a bunch of Pokemon cards. You might get fucking
Speaker 1: groud on. You might get a douce.
Speaker 6: Okay, I mean I don't know those characters, so well.
Speaker 2: That's okay, it's Jen three, I think. But anyway, what
Speaker 2: do you go to school for.
Speaker 6: I'm in social work school.
Speaker 2: Actually, oh you are okay, cool, very cool. Okay, so
Speaker 2: you also have a social work nod?
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I'm gonna start taking more pride in my
Speaker 2: uh in my work nod.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean it's fun. I love my classmates. Some
Speaker 6: of the teachers are very interesting. It's great, it's very nice.
Speaker 6: Would I recommend going through it this young?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 6: Oh, because I'm so like my classmates are anywhere from
Speaker 6: like twenty five and up. Most of them are twenty
Speaker 6: five and up. Some of them are closer to my age.
Speaker 6: But it's I feel very uh separated from everybody because of.
Speaker 2: It, because of the age gap.
Speaker 6: Yeah, because of the age gap. And they have a
Speaker 6: lot more life experience and stuff, like I grew up
Speaker 6: very sheltered and shit, So like it makes sense. I'm
Speaker 6: like just trying to go into it and like figure
Speaker 6: it out, get it done, get it over with, you know.
Speaker 2: M yeah, hmmmmmmmm mm hmm. What's the ultimate goal? Is
Speaker 2: it to be a therapist?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: That could be cool. Yeah, that could be cool. Do
Speaker 2: you have a therapist?
Speaker 6: I do currently, Yes.
Speaker 2: What do you like about your current therapists that you
Speaker 2: want to take into you?
Speaker 6: I'm looking for a new therapist, a new therapist.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, I'm sorry, is that what you said?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: Okay, Oh you're looking at a new therapist. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: Why or why do you not like the therapist you have?
Speaker 4: I feel like the.
Speaker 6: Well, unfortunately, because she's white and I'm black, there's this
Speaker 6: what is it called? She doesn't have the level of
Speaker 6: cold tru a competency. I feel like she should.
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, Yeah, so like.
Speaker 6: Percent all of my experiences are completely surrounded because like
Speaker 6: by being black. Yeah, I'm black, I'm queer, like all
Speaker 6: these different things. I'm autistic. Like that's how my view
Speaker 6: of the world is. She can't really understand that because
Speaker 6: it's mostly informed. It's because of how people see me. Now,
Speaker 6: I'm perceived. I'm always perceived as a threat.
Speaker 1: See, I've always wondered, like in my own therapy search,
Speaker 1: I'm like, do I want somebody who like, do I
Speaker 1: want another white guy? Or do I want somebody who's
Speaker 1: very different from me that can like have a different perspective.
Speaker 6: That's all up to you. I just know that, like,
Speaker 6: I would rather have somebody black and queer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Now have you had a black therapist before?
Speaker 6: I've had a black therapist absolutely, and now I have
Speaker 6: a queer therapist. So I'm like, maybe a mix of
Speaker 6: the two would be very nice because I'm also black
Speaker 6: and queer.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so uh uh, because I think you can
Speaker 1: do that, right. You can go on the psychology today
Speaker 1: and like, yeah, hit the checkboxes.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, yeah, I've done stuff like that. But like
Speaker 6: the stuff that I'm looking for is highly specific, okay,
Speaker 6: like trauma informed and like ADHD and like PTSD, all
Speaker 6: these different things, and therefore it very much limits. And
Speaker 6: then those people that have those things are not black.
Speaker 1: So yeah, okay, wait, but like trauma informed or like
Speaker 1: has had trauma trauma informed?
Speaker 6: So like how to deal with that, how to process it,
Speaker 6: how to sit with your emotions?
Speaker 1: Do you trying to find a black queer trauma informs
Speaker 1: yeah therapists?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Is that is that that hard like to find?
Speaker 6: I mean shockingly yes?
Speaker 2: Okay, I guess it's good that you're trying to become one.
Speaker 6: No, yeah, yeah, I feel I literally did my grad essay,
Speaker 6: like my interests essay for this, I did it about
Speaker 6: like representation and the lack of representation in the field
Speaker 6: and stuff because only what I think, less than fifteen
Speaker 6: percent a therapists are black and then less than four
Speaker 6: percent are queer, and there's no overlap in those two
Speaker 6: right now, I didn't do the overlap. I didn't look
Speaker 6: it up, so I'm assuming it's a lot smaller.
Speaker 1: What kinds of things are you learning in psychology social
Speaker 1: work school?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Well, what do you mean because we have different types
Speaker 6: of classes?
Speaker 2: Do you go to school today?
Speaker 4: School?
Speaker 6: Let me know we're on breaks though?
Speaker 2: Oh wait, well it's Saturday. Are you on break pace
Speaker 2: it's Saturday? Or are you on bak business of the
Speaker 2: summer summer? What was the last thing was? What was
Speaker 2: your biggest takeaway from last semester?
Speaker 3: Honestly?
Speaker 6: How does that boundaries with people who try to take
Speaker 6: advantage of free labor? Oh, because we have our internship
Speaker 6: so like, for instance, I was in a school and
Speaker 6: so because I was working with the guidance office and
Speaker 6: I was basically I'm sorry, this is so much my school.
Speaker 6: The social work school placed me at an agency, and
Speaker 6: that agency placed me out of high school to do
Speaker 6: social work, yeah, to like help the kids, the students
Speaker 6: and whatnot, which I loved. I loved being there, but
Speaker 6: there was just so many people involved in me trying
Speaker 6: to do regular stuff like call out. I was just like,
Speaker 6: I can't do this. And then they wanted us to
Speaker 6: stay in so the end of ne but that was
Speaker 6: what the school wanted. My school said, no, you can
Speaker 6: only stay until like you've done your four hundred and
Speaker 6: fifty hours because after that you don't have like the
Speaker 6: school's not liable for anything that happens. So now it's
Speaker 6: a back and forth between them and I'm in the
Speaker 6: middle of it, just trying to help my students. My
Speaker 6: mental health is a wreck. How can I help them
Speaker 6: if I can't help myself. That doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 6: And I'm not gonna be any benefits to my students
Speaker 6: if I can't figure out what I need.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course.
Speaker 8: No.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you if you're showing up less than your
Speaker 1: full self, yeah yeah, You're not gonna be a benefit exactly.
Speaker 6: And I didn't want to like put that all my
Speaker 6: kids because I know how they are or worry rather
Speaker 6: and like I love seeing them growing all that, but
Speaker 6: I had to make sure they understood that, like, it's
Speaker 6: just a lot of stuff going on, and specifically because
Speaker 6: they had their own stuff going on. You don't always
Speaker 6: have to just sit there and take it.
Speaker 2: Sure, Yeah, you.
Speaker 6: Can actually say something and like say what you got
Speaker 6: to say, do what you got to do respectfully. There's
Speaker 6: a position of authority and all that.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm trying to think of any any other
Speaker 1: any other questions. Okay, So yes, so you you back
Speaker 1: to saying that in a year you're going to deconstruct yourself.
Speaker 6: Yes, what is that?
Speaker 2: What's the first step of deconstructing yourself?
Speaker 6: Honestly, just getting rid of like this. I've been a
Speaker 6: school minds Higher Life on twenty two, then a school
Speaker 6: mind High Life went straight through. So what to do
Speaker 6: without the school being there?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Once the struct Oh yeah, I mean, oh, that's a
Speaker 1: perfect time to deconstruct yourself because once structure, I mean
Speaker 1: that literally is what you're doing. Once the structure is deed. Yeah, externally,
Speaker 1: you can d the structure. Internal it's just spooky, but
Speaker 1: yeah interesting, yeah, kind of like your own version of
Speaker 1: ego death.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, pretty much. I think it'd be really cool.
Speaker 2: Saren. Yeah, Sarah's Le's talking to you.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think if I have any because I
Speaker 1: was talking to Cameron about non therapy e things. Okay,
Speaker 1: so wait, so Cameron's you're homie right, yeah, and he
Speaker 1: said that the night is just getting started and I
Speaker 1: asked him how. I was like, what does that mean?
Speaker 1: And he he didn't really have an answer. What what
Speaker 1: do you are you guys about to go do something crazy?
Speaker 6: Honestly, we could we could figure it out, honestly, because
Speaker 6: I don't know. We've been hanging out a lot, so
Speaker 6: we usually get into like stupid shit.
Speaker 2: What kind of stupid shit?
Speaker 6: Honestly, we're what was it Coney Island we went to
Speaker 6: and stuff?
Speaker 2: And we yeah, to Coney Island. It's that's fun.
Speaker 6: No, it is fun, but like being out there at
Speaker 6: night and stuff is not the best.
Speaker 2: Idea being out of Coney Island at night.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Like recently, like it was his birthday and stuff,
Speaker 6: and we went out. I planned this whole thing and
Speaker 6: it was fun. It was nice, but like we were
Speaker 6: out here at like one two in the morning, just
Speaker 6: taking photos and stuff.
Speaker 2: It was just that sounds fun.
Speaker 6: It is fun, but it's not always the safest.
Speaker 2: Have you gotten in any issues?
Speaker 6: Well no, right now we're both sober, thank god.
Speaker 2: But like, okay, cool, this is great. Cool. Well, it
Speaker 2: sounds like you guys got a fun night ahead of you.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, we'll just see what we get into.
Speaker 1: Keeping on Cameron, he's a loose cannon. Actually, hey, listen, listen,
Speaker 1: this guy did thirty five plush ups. All right, if
Speaker 1: she go down, you know, I think you could take
Speaker 1: care of it.
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't know about that, but disrespect. You
Speaker 6: gotta be more aware of your surroundings.
Speaker 1: Saren, thank you very much for chatting with me. Is
Speaker 1: there anything else want to say to the people the
Speaker 1: computer before we go?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Respect, basic respect is given. Absolutely, Always respect people young
Speaker 6: and you people owed the uppahed absolutely the second they
Speaker 6: start to disrespect you, though, you don't gotta stand there
Speaker 6: and fucking take it. You don't gotta sit there and
Speaker 6: take it. You can leave. You don't gotta be in
Speaker 6: a situation that you don't want to be in. Okay,
Speaker 6: do what you want to do, do it safely, don't
Speaker 6: be too crazy out here. And if you are taking drugs,
Speaker 6: drinking anything like that, substance related test deal shit, Please
Speaker 6: test it. If you gonna do it, do it, but
Speaker 6: test it. Get clean supplies and all joe what you
Speaker 6: need to do and be safe out here.
Speaker 1: Okay, folks, this has been talking to a gecko at
Speaker 1: the park. This was a great I feel like again.
Speaker 1: If you're listening to this and you just woke up
Speaker 1: from an app at seven pm, eight pm nine the
Speaker 1: day can be saved.
Speaker 2: If this is This is a message to you, the folks.
Speaker 1: If you took an if you got too high, you
Speaker 1: ate too much ice cream, and you took a nap,
Speaker 1: and you believe that the day is over, you can
Speaker 1: save it.
Speaker 6: Can I say one? We're doing it is perfectly okay
Speaker 6: to start over whenever you need to. Like that doesn't
Speaker 6: matter what time of day it is, how old you are.
Speaker 6: Tomorrow is a new day. Do whatever the fuck you want.
Speaker 4: Shit.
Speaker 2: Orrow is a new day. Nine pm is a new hour.
Speaker 2: Nine o two pm is a new hour exactly.
Speaker 6: Don't got to be on the dit. You do what
Speaker 6: you need to do for you. You don't have to
Speaker 6: live by any anybody else's rules, anybody else's timeline. Do
Speaker 6: what you gotta do for you.
Speaker 1: I'm a gecko I'm signing off. Thank you guys very
Speaker 1: much for listening, and uh see you see you again
Speaker 1: very soon. Hello, folks, it's Lyle. This is the end
Speaker 1: of the episode. This is and I'm recording this not
Speaker 1: in the park. I'm recording this alone in my room
Speaker 1: on my phone, and I'm recording this to tell you
Speaker 1: all that if you want more IRL episodes, I am
Speaker 1: actually releasing a bonus episode today of IRL interviews that
Speaker 1: I did two years ago in Melbourne. I think that's
Speaker 1: how you pronounce it, Melbourne, Australia, on the streets of Melbourne, Australia.
Speaker 1: It's an IRL episode just like this one. I recorded
Speaker 1: it two years ago. It's been sitting on my hard drive.
Speaker 1: I never got around to do anything doing anything with it,
Speaker 1: but I am releasing it today as a bonus episode
Speaker 1: on therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. If you want
Speaker 1: to support the podcast and you want to get not
Speaker 1: just this bonus episode, but access to all the bonus
Speaker 1: episodes that I have done over the years, then you
Speaker 1: can go to therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com or
Speaker 1: check the link in the episode description to sign up
Speaker 1: and view it. And here right here, I'm gonna put
Speaker 1: We're gonna have a little clip from the interviews that
Speaker 1: I did in Melbourne, Australia. So here's her clip from
Speaker 1: this week's bonus episode.
Speaker 8: And she was telling me.
Speaker 1: She was like, I'm having trouble because I don't think
Speaker 1: there's any straight single men left in Sydney, so I
Speaker 1: don't know how I'm supposed to date.
Speaker 2: So it's funny to hear that.
Speaker 1: It's I thought she was just bullshitting, but it's funny
Speaker 1: to hear other people say that.
Speaker 8: Yeah, Sydney has big a history.
Speaker 2: They had like the first sort of pride movement in Australia.
Speaker 2: But their nightlife isn't isn't the same as it was?
Speaker 2: How's the nightlife here?
Speaker 4: Not bad? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Do you go fucking crazy?
Speaker 8: We go party, we go to raids.
Speaker 2: That's fun.
Speaker 8: Yeah you ever do you do crazy?
Speaker 2: Drugs? No comment?
Speaker 1: Once again, if you want to listen to that, if
Speaker 1: you want to support the podcast, if you want to
Speaker 1: get the rest of the bonus episodes that I've got
Speaker 1: on there, you can go to therapy Gecko dot super
Speaker 1: ca dot com or check the link in the episode
Speaker 1: description to sign up.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Uh, that's it. That's the end of the words
Speaker 2: that I have to say today.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the pod gek bless you,
Speaker 1: Thanks for being here, Thanks for still listening. You haven't
Speaker 1: clicked off yet, You're still I'm still rambling. I'm just
Speaker 1: sitting in this rum, sitting in this chair and drinking
Speaker 1: a little bit of water.
Speaker 2: It's nice.
Speaker 8: Life is nice.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I complain too much. Life is really nice. Thank you,
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening. Bye bye,