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Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome. How's it going. My name is Lyle. I'm

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Speaker 1: a gecko. We're in New York City. It is a

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Speaker 1: Saturday night at I want to say nine pm ish

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Speaker 1: at night. I am here in Washington Square Park. It

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Speaker 1: is a park in Manhattan on the earth. There's a

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Speaker 1: lot of people around. And I ate a pint of

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Speaker 1: ice cream this afternoon at three pm.

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Speaker 2: And let me tell you something.

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Speaker 1: When you get high and you eat a pint of

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Speaker 1: ice cream at three pm, your day is fucked. I

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Speaker 1: got high, I ate a pint of ice cream. I

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Speaker 1: took a nap. I woke up at seven pm. Do

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Speaker 1: you know how You know how it feels when you

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Speaker 1: get high, you eat a pine ice cream, you wake

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Speaker 1: up at seven pm after a four hour nap, You

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Speaker 1: feel as though the day is lost. You feel as

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Speaker 1: though it cannot be redeemed. So I thought to myself,

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Speaker 1: how do I redeem this day? How do I make

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Speaker 1: it so that this was somewhat of a productive time. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I know, I'll go to the park and I'll talk

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Speaker 1: to people as a lizard.

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Speaker 2: And let me tell you, the day is one.

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Speaker 1: So if you're listening to this and it's seven pm

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Speaker 1: and you just woke up from a nap after getting

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Speaker 1: high and eating ice cream. Just so you know, you

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Speaker 1: can revive the rest of your day. If I can

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Speaker 1: do it, you can do it. Okay, all right, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. The day might still suck. Let's see, let's

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Speaker 1: talk to some people as a gecko.

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Speaker 3: Hi.

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Speaker 2: Hi, Hi, what's your name? My name is Paulina, Paulina.

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Speaker 2: Nice to meet you.

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Speaker 4: Nice to meet you too.

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Speaker 2: How's life, Paulina?

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Speaker 5: Life has been okay? I don't know, it's been kind

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Speaker 5: of medium right now.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, is it usually medium or is it? What's it

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Speaker 2: like usually?

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Speaker 5: Like usually I feel like it's a little bit of

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Speaker 5: a higher point, But like right now I'm going.

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Speaker 4: Through a little bit of a.

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Speaker 5: Calmer section of my life. I guess I could say

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Speaker 5: because like before, I don't know, with like being younger

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Speaker 5: and like being single and everything like that, you have

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Speaker 5: a lot of more freedoms and you do a lot

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Speaker 5: of more crazy shit. Okay, but like now I'm married, wha, Yeah, No,

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Speaker 5: I'm married, and I like have an entirely different, like

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Speaker 5: kind of outlook on life. I guess you could say,

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Speaker 5: because like I have a husband now I have like

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Speaker 5: a stable person that I could come home to.

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Speaker 4: And I mean, I'm.

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Speaker 5: Not working right now, but like usually I'd be working

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Speaker 5: fucking seven days out of the week, like just tiring

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Speaker 5: myself out, stressing myself out. At one point last year,

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Speaker 5: I was working so much that I started losing the hair.

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Speaker 2: Holy shit, Yeah, because I.

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Speaker 4: Was stressing so much.

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Speaker 5: And it's like, especially like in New York, I don't know,

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Speaker 5: the working the stress of working and like having to

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Speaker 5: keep up and like having to thrive.

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Speaker 4: Like here, you can't be without money, you know what

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Speaker 4: I mean?

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Speaker 2: And yeah, it is a very hustle, hustle based, very very.

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Speaker 4: Very hustle based environment.

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Speaker 5: And it's just like I don't know, I used to

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Speaker 5: work so hard just to like be able to make

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Speaker 5: my rent, be able to like make a living, and

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Speaker 5: like be doing all the crazy shit that I used

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Speaker 5: to do, like going to the bars, going to the clubs,

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Speaker 5: paying for my friends and stuff like that. But like

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Speaker 5: now I have like calm down and like there's just

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Speaker 5: one person to like share that with.

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Speaker 2: You know what, So when did you get married? How

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Speaker 2: long ago?

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Speaker 4: I got married in March March twenty fourth.

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Speaker 5: It was a rainy day and and my culture is

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Speaker 5: like a good sign whenever you get married in the rain,

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Speaker 5: because then whenever you tie the knot, you can't untie.

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Speaker 4: I'm not when it's wet.

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Speaker 2: Oh. I was gonna ask you, where are you from?

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Speaker 4: I'm from Russia. Oh okay, yeah, but I'm from Russia.

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Speaker 5: I moved to America like about eleven years ago. Cool,

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Speaker 5: and I'm first I came to New York and I'm

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Speaker 5: from New York. I came to Texas, from Texas to

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Speaker 5: Los Angeles, and from Los Angeles to New York again.

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Speaker 2: Where did you meet your husband?

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Speaker 1: I met my husband here here. I think you mete

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Speaker 1: him at one of the bars or clubs.

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Speaker 4: I met him at Washington Square Park.

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Speaker 2: Oh really?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: How did that work?

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Speaker 4: Oh? My gosh.

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Speaker 5: It was actually a little bit of a crazy story

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Speaker 5: because I was.

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Speaker 4: With my boyfriend at that time.

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Speaker 5: And we were all hanging around the same group, and

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Speaker 5: so my now husband he used to like come over

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Speaker 5: there and try to like sneak me away and stuff

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Speaker 5: like that, and I was like, no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 5: I'm in a relationship. I'm in a relationship. And I

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Speaker 5: swore that he was a red flag. And then afterwards

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Speaker 5: I ended up breaking up with my ex and we

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Speaker 5: ended up getting I like gave myself a couple of

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Speaker 5: months to like recover because it was a little bit

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Speaker 5: of a it was a crazy situation.

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Speaker 4: He was like thirty.

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Speaker 5: I was like nineteen at the time, and I thought that.

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Speaker 4: Older men were like more mature.

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Speaker 5: I thought that they would be able to, like not

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Speaker 5: only financially help but like mentally as well, like kind

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Speaker 5: of be able to like guide me and not be like.

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Speaker 4: As immature as I was sure.

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Speaker 5: But it turns out that he was more mature than me.

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Speaker 5: So I was like, no, I don't really.

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Speaker 2: This is your ex that you're talking about.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, my ex that I'm talking about. And then I

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Speaker 5: met my husband, which he's twenty three, and I realized

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Speaker 5: that he was more mature than a thirty year old man.

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Speaker 5: Like he was working, he was doing his thing, he

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Speaker 5: was taking care of stuff, like he was helping.

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Speaker 4: His mom everything like that.

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Speaker 5: And then it's like whenever I came into his life,

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Speaker 5: he was doing that like time spy for me, and

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Speaker 5: I was like, oh my god, like it does like

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Speaker 5: an age like a thirty year old doesn't mean that.

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Speaker 4: It's like he's more mature.

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Speaker 2: So are you? So you went for working like seven

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Speaker 2: days a week. Yeah too. Now is he like bringing

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Speaker 2: home the nut for everyone?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Okay, what's he do? How does he bring on the nut?

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Speaker 5: He's a construction worker as well as he does photography

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Speaker 5: on the side, and he like does photography for like parties.

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Speaker 5: He does photography for skating videography as well. And then

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Speaker 5: I'm like his little assistant sometimes, you know, so you

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Speaker 5: work with him, Hey, I kind of work with him

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Speaker 5: and I like edit his videos, I help him out

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Speaker 5: with the posting, I help him out with his scheduling

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Speaker 5: everything like that, because he like being a construction worker.

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Speaker 5: He's like freelance right now, and he like goes all

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Speaker 5: around the place in New York. But and so it's

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Speaker 5: like really hard to build a schedule around that.

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Speaker 1: But me the amazing Paulina, I get, so, how long

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Speaker 1: were you guys dating before you got married?

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Speaker 5: We okay, honestly, our relationship moved really quick. We've known

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Speaker 5: each other for like two years. We've been together for

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Speaker 5: ten months.

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Speaker 2: Now. Did you get married in Russia or here?

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Speaker 4: We got married here? No, no, no, no, we did

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Speaker 4: not get married in Russia. We got married here.

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Speaker 5: And I met him two years ago and then we

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Speaker 5: ended up getting together like next the year after that,

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Speaker 5: and like two months after I broke up with my ex,

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Speaker 5: we ended up getting together. We made things official in November,

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Speaker 5: we got engaged in February, and then we got married

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Speaker 5: in March.

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Speaker 2: So you said that now is a calm time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, now it's a calm time.

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Speaker 2: Now miss the crazy times at.

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Speaker 4: Times, if I'm being honest, Yes I do.

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Speaker 5: Because I was able to say, like, I did everything

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Speaker 5: for myself type of thing, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: Sure I was.

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Speaker 5: I could call myself a dependent. I could like tell

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Speaker 5: people that like yeah I did this, like I own

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Speaker 5: this place, or like I rent this place, I paid

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Speaker 5: for this, I paid for that.

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Speaker 4: But like now.

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Speaker 5: It's nice because my husband takes care of me and

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Speaker 5: I don't. And it's like it's not even he doesn't

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Speaker 5: even like put me in the position of like, oh

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Speaker 5: I'm paying for this, I'm paying for this.

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Speaker 4: No, it's not even that.

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Speaker 5: It's just because I feel like it's my own personal ego,

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Speaker 5: you know what I mean. That takes me to that

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Speaker 5: place sometime because it's just like, man if I was single,

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Speaker 5: I'd still be doing this, this and this, but like

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Speaker 5: now I can't like.

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Speaker 2: So, when did you move to New York from Russia.

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Speaker 4: To New York from Russia? And I moved eleven years ago.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, you mentioned that. Why did you come to

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Speaker 2: New York.

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Speaker 5: My mom got married to my stepfather and he's an

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Speaker 5: American and so they fell in love everything like that.

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Speaker 5: He was their English tutor, and so she ended up

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Speaker 5: moving over here, and my dad didn't really know because

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Speaker 5: like the immigration stuff was like really really off at

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Speaker 5: that time for some reason, and it was really expensive

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Speaker 5: to get papers, and so we lived in New York

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Speaker 5: for a little bit because it's a blue.

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Speaker 4: State, you know what I mean, and.

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Speaker 5: Easier, Yeah, it's definitely easier to not get deported. And

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Speaker 5: then once once we had all our papers figured out

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Speaker 5: and everything like that, we moved on to Texas and

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Speaker 5: then Texas.

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Speaker 4: From Moscow to New York is like a little bit

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Speaker 4: of a culture shock.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure it is. They tell me what the culture

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Speaker 1: shock felt like.

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Speaker 4: The culture shock. Honestly, it wasn't even from Moscow to

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Speaker 4: New York.

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Speaker 5: The culture shock was really from the point of me

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Speaker 5: like not being able to speak English properly whenever I

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Speaker 5: came here, and it was like really hard because I

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Speaker 5: went to like a predominantly like American.

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Speaker 2: School and they used to like how.

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Speaker 4: I was ten.

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Speaker 5: Years old, ten years old whenever I came here and

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Speaker 5: people I don't know, like kids are menaces, Like yeah,

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Speaker 5: all that time, they used to call me like a

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Speaker 5: commed whar, like I'm a communist, go back to my

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Speaker 5: country everything like that. Yeah, I kind of advanced years old,

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Speaker 5: say I'm saying, but like kids are menaces nowadays, bro,

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Speaker 5: Like I remember all of those times, like whenever my

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Speaker 5: fellow ten year olds were just like you need to

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Speaker 5: go back to your own country, blah blah blah blah blah.

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Speaker 5: You're your country is the one that started the Cold

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Speaker 5: War with us everything like that.

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Speaker 1: Like what so I gotta ask you that is it?

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Speaker 1: Is it like weird being Russian now?

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Speaker 4: Honestly?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, honestly yeah, with like everything going on in the world,

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Speaker 5: like with the Russian Ukraine War everything like that, it's

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Speaker 5: it's a hard time being like Russian or like calling

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Speaker 5: yourself Russian.

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Speaker 4: But like I'm mixed. My grandma's Ukrainian.

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Speaker 5: I was born in Russia and I grew up speaking Ukrainian,

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Speaker 5: but like I ended up just losing it over time.

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Speaker 1: Do people in Russia do they like Putin? Like does

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Speaker 1: anyone like him? Or do they all not like him?

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Speaker 4: I feel like it's media manipulation.

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Speaker 5: Whenever people are like saying like, oh, no, Putin this,

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Speaker 5: Putin that, but he's I feel like people know that

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Speaker 5: he's not a good leader. They know that he has

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Speaker 5: gotten to like he's gotten to the top of power,

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Speaker 5: and now he doesn't want to like get it away,

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Speaker 5: you know.

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Speaker 2: What I mean.

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Speaker 1: You don't have like a like a weird uncle or

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Speaker 1: something who's like, no, I think he's a cool guy,

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Speaker 1: Like how you know.

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Speaker 4: I bet I do.

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Speaker 5: I feel like whenever I visited Russia last time, which

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Speaker 5: was the last time I visited was in twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 5: and there was times of whenever my dad, my stepdad

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Speaker 5: was like talking to my mom's friends and they were like, no,

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Speaker 5: Putin is awesome, Putin is great. And then the war

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Speaker 5: started happening and they were like, oh, it's not early.

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Speaker 4: How it's playing out to.

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Speaker 5: Be Like he's not that, he's not that good of

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Speaker 5: a leader anymore. Like in the past, I don't know,

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Speaker 5: in the nineties or in the early two thousands, whenever

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Speaker 5: he was in the president run everything like that. Maybe

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Speaker 5: he was good, maybe he was doing good for the country,

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Speaker 5: but now the power has definitely gotten to the top

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Speaker 5: of his head and it's ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: So back to your personal life, yea, uh do you like,

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Speaker 1: what do you hope for the future for yourself?

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Speaker 4: I want to start a family.

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Speaker 5: I really I've been dreaming of being a mom, like

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Speaker 5: ever since I was little, and I feel like starting

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Speaker 5: a family, especially being married, is the next step. It's

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Speaker 5: just it's just really hard with like the economic position

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Speaker 5: everything like that, everything that's going on in the world

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Speaker 5: right now, Like it's.

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Speaker 4: It's hard putting a kid into that.

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Speaker 5: But then at the same time, I feel like I'd

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Speaker 5: be able to make a life for that child that

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Speaker 5: nobody else would, you know what I mean that, yeah,

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Speaker 5: it wouldn't matter with anything.

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Speaker 2: It's hard.

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Speaker 1: It's weird to like, you know, I mean, it's hard

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Speaker 1: to be like optimistic about the future. That's a little

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Speaker 1: bout like, uh, you know, by the time I'm like,

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Speaker 1: if I have a kid, when I'm like say, like

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Speaker 1: thirty seven or whatever, like in ten years, yeah, then

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Speaker 1: by the time that my kid is like eighteen, I'm

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Speaker 1: ready to go to college.

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Speaker 2: I'll be like fifty fucking five.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, who knows what the world is gonna look like

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Speaker 1: there might like I'm worried about like there being like

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Speaker 1: no economic opportunities, Yeah for my kid, because even like you,

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Speaker 1: like being eighteen, going to college now is so different

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Speaker 1: than it is like twenty eight years ago for our parents. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, like it's it's worrisome that you have like

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Speaker 1: gen Z. I feel like has gen Z and Jenop

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Speaker 1: I have like I would assume maybe I'm just talking shit,

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Speaker 1: but it seems as though they have much less economic opportunities.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, no, I definitely agree with that. And it's

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Speaker 5: like the fact I don't know now college isn't really

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Speaker 5: like we're at least guaranteed, It's not, it's not guaranteed anymore.

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Speaker 5: Like it's definitely if you have like a dream to

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Speaker 5: go to college, like you can you can do everything

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Speaker 5: in your power to like go into college and stuff

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Speaker 5: like that. I was just talking about that to my

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Speaker 5: friends today. I worked at Chipotle before, and I had

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Speaker 5: people that had masked degrees, bachelor's degrees that were working

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Speaker 5: and like serving food to people. And it's just like

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Speaker 5: you spent all that time, you spent all that money

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Speaker 5: and you're still working amid as what I mean.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a it's a terrible bummer.

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Speaker 5: And it's like now people that like have business degrees

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Speaker 5: or something like that, they're they're even dropping that and

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Speaker 5: they're starting to do content creating or they're starting to cook,

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Speaker 5: like they're starting to make their own restaurants or something

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Speaker 5: like that. They don't even use their degree and what's

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Speaker 5: really what they got it initially for, you know what

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Speaker 5: I mean? And like I went to college for a

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Speaker 5: couple of semesters and it was, honestly, like I feel

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Speaker 5: like it was even more stress than working whenever I

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Speaker 5: was working here, because like.

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Speaker 2: Was it more stressful than working at Chipotle?

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Speaker 1: I feel like that, Yeah, yeah, because I'm very genuine

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Speaker 1: I'm surprised to hear that.

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Speaker 2: Look, working at Chipotle looks very stressful.

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Speaker 4: It's it is, honestly is.

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Speaker 5: And like I used to I used to do everything,

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Speaker 5: Like I used to be in prep team.

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Speaker 4: I used to be the hostess.

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Speaker 5: Like the cashier, and I used to be the one

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Speaker 5: rolling your burritos, you know what I mean. And it

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Speaker 5: was like we had to worry about every little thing.

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Speaker 5: We had to worry about having the right amount of

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Speaker 5: food prepped, and it wasn't the regular amount of people

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Speaker 5: every single day, you know. So it's like we had

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Speaker 5: to get the amount of food prep correctly, we had

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Speaker 5: to roll everything correctly.

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Speaker 4: We couldn't really waste anything. And it was just.

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Speaker 5: I don't know, and then balancing that on top of

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Speaker 5: school with like having to get your assignments in time,

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Speaker 5: so have to get good grades to come out with

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Speaker 5: a good GPA to keep your scholarship or if I

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Speaker 5: don't know, if you're like paying for it.

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Speaker 4: It's so hard. It's ridiculously hard.

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Speaker 1: I feel like having a job like that is good

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Speaker 1: training to be a mom, because being a.

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Speaker 2: Mom is also like.

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Speaker 6: It.

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Speaker 1: It's like you can't like college, like you can fuck around, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, if you work at like Chipotle or whatever,

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Speaker 1: you can't just like like be on your phone the

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Speaker 1: whole time.

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Speaker 2: You gotta like roll burritos. You got things you gotta do. Ship.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you have a kid, you gotta came in your

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Speaker 1: phone all the time or rest child will die. You

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Speaker 1: kind of do have to roll the kid a little bit.

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Speaker 1: You gotta roll the kids. You gotta change a diaper.

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Speaker 1: I like, like when you're like like the logistical mechanics

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Speaker 1: of of changing a diaper are kind of seemed to

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Speaker 1: be similar to rolling a burrito. You know, you're you're

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Speaker 1: moving things through their hands and you know, doing this

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Speaker 1: and that thing. Yeah, Paula, Pauline, Paulina, Paulina, Yeah, well Pauline, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I want to ask you this before we go, because

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Speaker 1: you came up to me, uh, before I settle this

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Speaker 1: crap up, and you were like, I've been present for

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Speaker 1: a lot of your other Gecko sessions and I've always

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Speaker 1: wanted to get on one.

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Speaker 2: Have we cover?

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Speaker 1: Is there anything else that we didn't cover that you

361
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Speaker 1: want to make sure we cover before we go?

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Speaker 4: I feel like this is exactly what I've been yearning for.

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Speaker 1: My entire life, right Uh, Paula, anything else you want

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Speaker 1: to say to the people of the computer before we go?

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Speaker 5: Be happy, be optimistic. Life is great despite everything that's

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Speaker 5: going on. You create your own shit.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, Thank you, paul By, have a go, and thank

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Speaker 1: you for talking to a gecko.

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Speaker 3: How many is mullah?

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Speaker 2: Mullah? Like money?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: What's that? Mullah? How's life? How's it going? What are

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Speaker 2: you doing in the park tonight?

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Speaker 3: Right now? I'm just really spending time with my boyfriend,

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Speaker 3: my friends, just getting my mind off of stuff because

376
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Speaker 3: I've been trying to look for a job, fishing up

377
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:31,320
Speaker 3: school and just I'm going a bit stressed. So I'm

378
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,440
Speaker 3: here to take off a little bit away from the day.

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Speaker 1: See, I'm like tempted to ask you what you're stressed about,

380
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,360
Speaker 1: but the whole thing of going to the park is

381
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Speaker 1: to not talk about it. So would you like to

382
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Speaker 1: not talk about what you're stressed about? I can talk

383
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Speaker 1: about it, Okay, what he's stressed about.

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Speaker 3: Well, it's just like in my life, I feel like

385
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:55,360
Speaker 3: there's a lot of people coming to me and trying

386
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Speaker 3: to distract me from what I'm really supposed to do.

387
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Speaker 3: Like I'm really trying to get into like law and stuff,

388
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Speaker 3: and I feel really discredit and discouraged by people around

389
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Speaker 3: me based on how I look and where I'm from

390
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:16,680
Speaker 3: because growing up in like kind of a poorer area,

391
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Speaker 3: it's not really expected from people. So I wanted to

392
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Speaker 3: really like do that, but it gets discouraged. So I've

393
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,479
Speaker 3: been dealing with a lot of like setbacks when it

394
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Speaker 3: comes to even getting work because it's that automatic, Oh

395
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Speaker 3: how much do you make? Where do you live at

396
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Speaker 3: in ethnicity questions so much harder.

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Speaker 1: So when you say that, like the people around you

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Speaker 1: are discouraging you from what you actually want to do.

399
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Speaker 1: Like is this like your friends or your family or

400
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Speaker 1: like just like random people that you talk to.

401
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Speaker 3: I say, some of my friends and family. Yeah, Like, Okay,

402
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,920
Speaker 3: A better way to describe it is more like a

403
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Speaker 3: lot of my passions and stuff I've came to my

404
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,480
Speaker 3: family about they tend to put me down about it

405
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Speaker 3: and be like, that's not really something you can do,

406
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:11,200
Speaker 3: and like they just kind of pushed me down and say,

407
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Speaker 3: my mom.

408
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Speaker 2: Do you do? You have people in your life who

409
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Speaker 2: are the opposite.

410
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Speaker 3: So yeah, and I try to focus spending time with

411
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Speaker 3: them for sure.

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Speaker 1: Okay, can I I'm very curious what are the like

413
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,919
Speaker 1: the people in your life when they tell you that

414
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:25,959
Speaker 1: you can't do things?

415
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,000
Speaker 2: What are the reasons they give you for why you

416
00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:29,399
Speaker 2: can't do things?

417
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:30,040
Speaker 6: Well?

418
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Speaker 3: Uh, you can tell like, I'm kind of alternative. I

419
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:45,280
Speaker 3: grew up a bit like I didn't grow up with

420
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Speaker 3: many good connections and is like kind of not used

421
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Speaker 3: to getting far. That's a better way to describe it.

422
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Speaker 2: So what kind of law do you want to practice?

423
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Speaker 3: What about criminal justice speaker. I have a lot of

424
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Speaker 3: disdain towards how the police system is going right now

425
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Speaker 3: and how it's just really like affecting people.

426
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Speaker 4: How like.

427
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,920
Speaker 3: The political landscape of stuff is really strong right now,

428
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:32,600
Speaker 3: and like I'm really upset about like all the stuff

429
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Speaker 3: going on in the world. For sure.

430
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Speaker 1: Have you been studying law or going to like undergrad

431
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Speaker 1: or anything like that.

432
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Speaker 3: I have been doing law classes, yes, And it's something

433
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,919
Speaker 3: that inspire me more, especially seeing the effects on like

434
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:54,760
Speaker 3: certain like based on political things, how it affects the

435
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:58,359
Speaker 3: policing in the city. And I want to do more

436
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:03,480
Speaker 3: to kind of help with that, like especially with the

437
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 3: things like immigration or uh like the issues with all

438
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Speaker 3: other stuff, because I know I have a family who

439
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 3: have friends and like girlfriends who are actually getting issues

440
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:23,879
Speaker 3: with immigration and stuff, even people I know. So I

441
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Speaker 3: want to make a difference in that.

442
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Speaker 2: Did you grow up in New York?

443
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Speaker 3: Yes?

444
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,679
Speaker 2: What part of New York you grew up in?

445
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Speaker 3: Lower East Side? B?

446
00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:34,480
Speaker 2: Cool? Cool? Did you go to high school here?

447
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 3: Yeah?

448
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,679
Speaker 1: When did your like interest in law begin? Was it

449
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,160
Speaker 1: kind of around that time or has it been been.

450
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like it was. I actually feel like

451
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 3: I first started getting interested in it, like when I

452
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:53,040
Speaker 3: was younger, but I changed my kind of outlook to

453
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,679
Speaker 3: law after I saw how like teaching and counseling. Was

454
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 3: it really profitable?

455
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:02,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's part of the well you want to do

456
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:03,840
Speaker 1: criminal justice, right, Yes?

457
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 2: Would you ever be like a public defender? Yeah?

458
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 3: I wanted to kind of do that, But at the

459
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,120
Speaker 3: same time, it's like you got to defend the worst

460
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 3: people as a public defender because.

461
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:13,879
Speaker 2: They can't choose your.

462
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 4: So like I could get like the.

463
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 3: Best person in America, or I could get like the

464
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 3: fucking devil, right right, You really don't know.

465
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,639
Speaker 1: Right, I always I always kind of wonder that, like

466
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 1: how public defenders have to like reconcile and like, because

467
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,200
Speaker 1: like there's certain situations where it's like, you know they

468
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:33,879
Speaker 1: did it, you know. So it's like if you're a

469
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,520
Speaker 1: public defender and you gotta defend them even though you

470
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 1: know they did it. I guess there's a thing of like, Okay,

471
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 1: I know they did it, but I do believe in

472
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,680
Speaker 1: like due process under the law, So like I will

473
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 1: defend not necessarily the truth or not whether or not

474
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 1: they did this crime, but I will defend their right

475
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 1: to the due process of the law.

476
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 3: I feel like being a lawyer, the mindset has to

477
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,880
Speaker 3: go first for the bag because morality doesn't really exist.

478
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 1: Do you that's so interesting? Okay, so you you want

479
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,719
Speaker 1: to be like a lawyer going for the bag.

480
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,600
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, like, if I'm a public defender, then

481
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 3: I'm gonna work for the bag and then I'm gonna

482
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 3: get in my own thing.

483
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,359
Speaker 1: I feel like public defender I think is like the

484
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 1: very not bag boy.

485
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying.

486
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 2: Ok.

487
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 3: If you're losing cases, then you're definitely not getting a bag.

488
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 2: Okay, morality is not real.

489
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:22,920
Speaker 3: Not in public defense.

490
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 4: Oh.

491
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,640
Speaker 2: I thought we're talking like philosophically, because.

492
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 3: There are actually yeah, I think in philosophically yeah too.

493
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, because there's it's like, do you know what,

494
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,679
Speaker 1: like there's a lot of people who do believe there

495
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,640
Speaker 1: is no such thing as like objective morality. Yeah, it's

496
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 1: a thing that we are subjectively deciding as both as

497
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 1: individuals and as a collective.

498
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of like we pick and choose what

499
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,440
Speaker 3: is right and wrong based on what we want to do.

500
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 3: Like even with certain people, they'll be like like, for example,

501
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 3: with religion, if you were to take out one verse.

502
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 3: Some people would be like, yes, you need to follow this,

503
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,879
Speaker 3: but some people be like, no, that's not good to

504
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 3: if you do this, and it's like radicals. So yeah,

505
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 3: I forgot what I was saying.

506
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,920
Speaker 2: It's okay, Well, you know, I do think about it.

507
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 1: I do think about it sometimes because like, look like

508
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 1: in the animal world, they are just killing each other

509
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 1: all the time. They're just killing and there's no like, uh,

510
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,199
Speaker 1: like the lion is not like, oh, is it like

511
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,639
Speaker 1: wrong to viciously murder this zebra? But also I do

512
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,159
Speaker 1: the same thing. You know, I go to Chick fil A,

513
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 1: I eat a delicious chicken sandwich. I inadvertently killed another

514
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,400
Speaker 1: living thing by eating it.

515
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,159
Speaker 3: And uh, that's how I feel when I eat shrimp.

516
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 3: I'm allergic to selfish.

517
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,640
Speaker 2: Do you eat shrimp if you're allergic to selfish?

518
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 3: Because like hear me out, Okay, sure, the popeye is shrimp,

519
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 3: popcorn shrimp, poporn popeyees popcorn shrimp, Yes, popcorn shrimp. It's amazing,

520
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,959
Speaker 3: it's beautiful, but it hurts, but it's worth it.

521
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 2: What do you mean, Oh, it hurts because it like, okay.

522
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:02,719
Speaker 3: But might squeeze up, it'll my eyes with water. But

523
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 3: the taste is beautiful. So I feel like, at the

524
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 3: end of the day, it's about the the joys of life,

525
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 3: not the pain. Pain is beauty.

526
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 2: I'm okay, I'm trying.

527
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 1: I want to dive more into this allegory of Popeyes

528
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 1: popcorn shrimp.

529
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 3: Yes, now we're talking about it.

530
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,520
Speaker 1: Even though you're allergic. Yes, as an allegory to life. Yes,

531
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes you're allergic to life exactly, but

532
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 1: you just got to keep living it.

533
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 3: And this is definitely one of the things I feel

534
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 3: like I'm discouraged from. My boyfriend will tell me all

535
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 3: the time not to eat it because I'm allergic and

536
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 3: it'll fuck up my health. But I'm like, dude, it

537
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,880
Speaker 3: tastes good, and like I feel like I'm being diverted

538
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 3: from true happiness.

539
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 2: I gotta be honest with you.

540
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 1: In like most of the other situations you've brought up

541
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 1: where people were discouraging you from things, I would tell

542
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,160
Speaker 1: you to not listen to them, this one, I would

543
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 1: maybe consider listening to your boyfriend.

544
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 2: But what if I don't want to, or at least

545
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,200
Speaker 2: a doctor or some shit.

546
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 1: But how many more popcorn shrimp you got in you

547
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 1: before you go into anaphylactic shot.

548
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 3: I feel like, what's more important longevity or happiness?

549
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 2: You know what, eat all the popcorn trip you want.

550
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 3: If that's the case, I have smoked at least five

551
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 3: blunts every day with perfect.

552
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,120
Speaker 2: Viable every day for the.

553
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 3: Last two years minimum. So I feel like I may

554
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 3: or may not be man.

555
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 2: Do you like getting high or is it very fun? Okay?

556
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 3: It brings like it brings peace to my life. I

557
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 3: feel like all the things are edible for us. It's

558
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 3: kind of hitting, but uh, I feel like it helps

559
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 3: me really see things for how they are calmly, because

560
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 3: I feel like we're all very angry people and we

561
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 3: all get mad at.

562
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,439
Speaker 2: You get less angry when you're stunted.

563
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I'm way less angry, especially when

564
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 3: I do want to get popcorns frimped and then my

565
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,119
Speaker 3: boyfriend discourages me from it.

566
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 2: I'm not angry on the popcorn trip. I didn't.

567
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 1: I actually known. I go to Popeye semi frequently. I

568
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 1: don't think that I've never seen they have popcorn shrimp.

569
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 3: It is one hundred percent there, I know for fact. Okay,

570
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,639
Speaker 3: I love the Popeyees popcorn shrimp.

571
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 1: Well, I'm gonna try to wrap up this podcast as

572
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,040
Speaker 1: soon as possible so I can go to Popeyes afterwards.

573
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 2: You should This is not sponsored by pop Us. What's

574
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 2: your name?

575
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:15,119
Speaker 1: Mulla?

576
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:18,320
Speaker 2: Yes, Mulla? Good luck on your dreams and hopes in life.

577
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 3: Yes, I really know what I was talking about. I

578
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,360
Speaker 3: can't lie, but I really love Popeyes podcast, Shrimp. I'm

579
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 3: voting for Popey's.

580
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 2: Is there anything else you want to say to the

581
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:26,679
Speaker 2: people of the computer before we go?

582
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 3: Uh? Save the wildlife?

583
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 4: I love geckos.

584
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 2: Thank you? Mulla?

585
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 4: Yes?

586
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 2: Hello?

587
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:32,680
Speaker 3: Hey?

588
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:33,400
Speaker 2: What's your name?

589
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 4: Veda?

590
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 2: Veda?

591
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:35,640
Speaker 4: What's what's your name?

592
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,439
Speaker 2: Lyle? What's up? Veda? Has life?

593
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 7: Life is good. I just moved here. I'm going to

594
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,720
Speaker 7: school here. It's a big change.

595
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 2: What are you studying?

596
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:46,120
Speaker 4: Psychology?

597
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 2: Psychology?

598
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,159
Speaker 4: Wait? Wait wait, how's your life?

599
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:50,639
Speaker 2: How's my life?

600
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 4: Yeah?

601
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 2: No one ever asked how my life is?

602
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 4: Why not?

603
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 1: No, that's that's not sure at all. People ask me

604
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 1: how my life is a lot, and I don't and

605
00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 1: I deflect.

606
00:26:58,520 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 4: You don't like talking about yourself?

607
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 2: I like talking about myself sometimes.

608
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,679
Speaker 4: Is this why you do this to talk about other people?

609
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:04,240
Speaker 2: Yeah?

610
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 1: Sometimes I do do this to talk about other people.

611
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 1: It's fun to talk about other.

612
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 4: People you don't like talking about yourself.

613
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 2: I do like talking about myself.

614
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 1: I'd be completely utterly lying if I said I didn't

615
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 1: like talking to myself by myself, I talk about myself

616
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 1: a fair amount on this show.

617
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 2: I think, how am I doing well?

618
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 1: I mentioned at the beginning of this that I I

619
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 1: had like a big plan for today. I was gonna

620
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,439
Speaker 1: like edit a bunch of stuff. I was gonna get

621
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,400
Speaker 1: a bunch of stuff done. It was gonna be really productive.

622
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,360
Speaker 1: And then my friend texted me and he's like, Yo,

623
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 1: there's a block party outside.

624
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 2: Of our house. And I was like, do you live here?

625
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,760
Speaker 2: I live in New York, Yeah, in Brooklyn, Okay.

626
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:45,639
Speaker 1: And I was like, all right, I'll go to this

627
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,920
Speaker 1: block party because that sounds fun. And then I made

628
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: a mistake that I've made many I make the same

629
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: You know what's so annoying cause I make the same

630
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: mistake all the time. I quit smoking weed for like

631
00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 1: three days. It was awesome three days, and I got

632
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,639
Speaker 1: high during the day, which is bad because if you

633
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 1: do that, if you if I get sewn during the

634
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,639
Speaker 1: day at this blog party, the rest of the day

635
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 1: is fucking fucked. I'm fucked. I'm fucked. And so I

636
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 1: got sown during the day, and then I went home.

637
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:14,640
Speaker 1: I took a long nap and then it was seven pm.

638
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 1: You ever take a nap at four pm and you

639
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:17,440
Speaker 1: wake up at seven?

640
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:19,159
Speaker 7: Yeah, And then and then you wake up and you

641
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 7: feel like really anxious because you're like confused as fuck,

642
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 7: and like it's like that end of the day and

643
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 7: like you feel like what the.

644
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 1: Fuckp Yes, yes, exactly exactly, And so I go And

645
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 1: so I was in that state and I was like,

646
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 1: all right, there's no way I'm gonna be able to

647
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 1: like sit alone on a computer.

648
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 4: Wait, what about that? Did you eat ice cream?

649
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 6: Did?

650
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 1: I tried to gracefully skip over that, but yes, I

651
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 1: did also eat ice cream.

652
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 2: Get the uh verun Ver? What's your name?

653
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 4: It's like think of Darth Vader Beda.

654
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 1: Beta Beta Beda they have normally, I'm a Ben and

655
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 1: Jerry's guy Hoggan Das. Hogan Das just came out with

656
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: black and white cookie.

657
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 4: Ice cream black and white cookie.

658
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 1: I just promise I'm not sponsored by Popeyes or Hoggin DAWs.

659
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 2: I wish I was.

660
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe you should be. Maybe I should keep advertising for.

661
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 1: Food Hoggin DAWs black and white cookie ice cream, vanilla

662
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: bean ice cream.

663
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 2: They put swirls I got. Yeah, this is the second

664
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:15,719
Speaker 2: time I've gotten it. It is great.

665
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 1: And here's what I always do. I eat like pretty

666
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 1: much all of it, except for like.

667
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 4: Wait, what size is this?

668
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 2: It's like a pint.

669
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,239
Speaker 1: Okay, I eat pretty much all of it, and then

670
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 1: I save one bite and then I was like and

671
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 1: then I throw it away, and I'm like, well, at

672
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 1: least I need the whole thing.

673
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 2: Do you ever do that?

674
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 7: Yeah, all the time, save the last and then throw

675
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 7: it away and makes me feel better.

676
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 1: So four PM, I got a whole pint of ice

677
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 1: cream in me. I'm knocked out, knock out, three hours,

678
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 1: wake up, confuse, sweaty, feeling like what the this is?

679
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 2: You know?

680
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,040
Speaker 1: What am I gonna do with my life? And then

681
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, I can't. I have to

682
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 1: save this day.

683
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 2: Somehow.

684
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be able to sit alone on my

685
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: computer and do stuff, but I do. I think I

686
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 1: could summon the energy to go to the park and

687
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 1: talk to people, because I like, I like doing this.

688
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 2: This is fun.

689
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 7: No, no, same, I the whole entire day I got

690
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 7: really anxious.

691
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 4: In the beginning of the day. No listen.

692
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 7: So first I needed to get my pants, my jeans

693
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 7: like hemmed and like altered. So I like looked up

694
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 7: this place and I knew it was going to be

695
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 7: expensive when I had to go to the tenth floor

696
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 7: for it. So I go up the time floor and

697
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 7: I'm thinking, like, I mean, how much do you expect

698
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:31,719
Speaker 7: it to be to like hem your pants or like

699
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 7: you know, shorten it or like alter it.

700
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 1: If you asked me to define what hemming is, I

701
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 1: don't know if I I.

702
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 7: Mean, like it's just like when they shorten like I said, okay,

703
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 7: tailor or yeah yeah, or like they like make it

704
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 7: a little bit tighter.

705
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 1: Like how how how much you think it is? Where

706
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 1: did you get it done in Manhattan?

707
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 2: Yeah? I don't know. I just moved to her on

708
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 2: the tenth floor.

709
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: Okay, the tenth floor of a building to get your

710
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 1: gene Thames one hundred and fifty dollars, dude?

711
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 2: Literally was it one hundred exactly?

712
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 7: Well, like she said it was like one fifty to

713
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 7: one seven, Like that was like one of the numbers

714
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 7: she gave me depending on like what she wanted to do.

715
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 4: But like When I heard that, I was like, I.

716
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 2: Made to buy a new pair of pants.

717
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 7: At that point, She's just, oh, I had to get

718
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 7: the dad jeans like the thrift store and they were

719
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 7: like good, the design was good, so I just needed

720
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,959
Speaker 7: to get them tighter. But she said that, and I

721
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 7: was like, my whole body was like super tense up.

722
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 7: And I like, I walked all the way here and

723
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 7: I'm like, I'm not fucking no, I'm not. They wanted

724
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 7: like an arm and leg for to ham my freaking jeans.

725
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 7: I thought it was gonna be.

726
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 4: Like ten bucks.

727
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 2: Oh, welcome to Manhattan.

728
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 4: No, literally, where did you move from Florida?

729
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 2: Florida?

730
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 1: Oh, welcome to Manhattan. Yeah, Florida is like, we're in Florida?

731
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 5: Or did?

732
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:53,240
Speaker 7: I was in undergrad before so I was in Orlando

733
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 7: for like five years. But before that, I grew up

734
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 7: in like Fort Lauderdale area.

735
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 2: So why'd you move to New York for my n yu?

736
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 2: Oh cool? Okay?

737
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 1: So, uh, Florida is everything that we assume about it?

738
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 2: Correct?

739
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 4: What do you assume about it?

740
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 1: I assume a lot of people there are kind of crazy,

741
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 1: like you know, I mean here. Uh that's a good point. Well,

742
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 1: you know, like Florida man culture.

743
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 7: I mean yeah, like the people the driving there, like

744
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 7: you know, they say, like, oh Florida like horrible drivers.

745
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 7: I guess, but I thought people in Florida are pretty cool.

746
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 2: Are you like excited to be here in New York?

747
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 7: No, definitely, I really like it here because nobody gives

748
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 7: a funk about what you do.

749
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 2: Like do people in Florida give a fuck about what

750
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 2: you do?

751
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 7: I mean, I guess more in the way we're like

752
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 7: if you walk out here and you dance or like

753
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 7: show or where whatever you want, like nobody blinks, Like no,

754
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 7: like nobody cares with God because I can just do

755
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 7: whatever I want, and like nobody remembers your name, nobody cares.

756
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 1: About you, and nobody cares about you all you could

757
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: scream at the top of your lizard I am wearing

758
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: a list and I'm wearing a I I uh yeah,

759
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 1: nobody cares about you here.

760
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 2: It's great.

761
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,480
Speaker 1: I mean you could be like I could here's the thing,

762
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 1: Like I could see right here, I could lay face

763
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 1: down along the ground. Yeah, for an infinite amount of

764
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: time before anyone gave a ship, which is as which

765
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 1: is a little sad, but uh, but true, you I

766
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 1: could scream as loud as I want, nobody would care.

767
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 2: You can.

768
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 1: New York's a great place to cry. I don't know

769
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 1: if you've cried in public yet, And did anyone bother you?

770
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 2: No.

771
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 1: I I was with my friend the other night and

772
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 1: we saw a lady crying in public, and my friend

773
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: was like, should I go over and like say something?

774
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 2: I feel bad? I was like, which, which is not

775
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 2: some theory?

776
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 1: Oh, but I mean I'm curious what you think, because

777
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 1: I feel like, uh, if I'm a lady crying in public,

778
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 1: I probably want to be left alone, as.

779
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:09,799
Speaker 4: Was your friend of guy.

780
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, well.

781
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 1: Okay, So if you're crying in public and like like

782
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 1: someone came up to you, would you want that or

783
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 1: would you want to be like a.

784
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:20,640
Speaker 7: Honestly, it depends on the state you're in. If you're

785
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,759
Speaker 7: like really really stressed out, someone coming up to you

786
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 7: probably would get you even more aggravated. But if you're

787
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 7: in a little bit of an open state where you're okay,

788
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 7: like you'd actually wish someone was here for you because like,

789
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 7: I don't know anyone here that could have been like

790
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:37,439
Speaker 7: a nice thing for me, Like I don't have any

791
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:39,320
Speaker 7: friends here. I don't have my family here. So I

792
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 7: was crying in here the other day, and if somebody

793
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 7: came up to me and asked, I'd probably be like,

794
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 7: that's nice.

795
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 2: Like can I ask you what you were crying about?

796
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 7: Yeah, honestly, it was just tears of joy, actually, but

797
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 7: like I think it was mixed with bitter sweet. It

798
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 7: was because like I was feeling a little bit kind

799
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,680
Speaker 7: of sad, or like I had like a little insecure moment,

800
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 7: like we all have insecure moments. And but right after,

801
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 7: like right before I could even sink into the funk

802
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 7: of that insecure moment, the waiter of the restaurant I

803
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 7: was at gave me a rose, like he was like here.

804
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 2: Like, oh, you're crying at a restaurant.

805
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 7: No, no, no, no, I cried after tears of joy because

806
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:26,920
Speaker 7: I felt like God sees me.

807
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,880
Speaker 4: I was like, that was really a nice I think.

808
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 7: I mean, I don't know what your concept of God is,

809
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 7: but I don't really think God is like a man

810
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:37,240
Speaker 7: in the sky or like a just a ball of energy.

811
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 7: I think it like has a personal relationship with me

812
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,879
Speaker 7: and is like I think God is love.

813
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 4: I think any like loving gone.

814
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 1: Do you believe that God is something like external that like,

815
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 1: like there's an external thing that's keeping an eye on you.

816
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 4: I think God is within us.

817
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I think God is with them.

818
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:57,879
Speaker 7: And I think that any experience that has like love

819
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,759
Speaker 7: in it, warmth in it, authentic city in it, I

820
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 7: believe like that's God working through people and working like

821
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:06,799
Speaker 7: orchestrating events to.

822
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 4: Make you feel seen.

823
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 7: So to me, when I was like feeling sad and

824
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 7: then that waiter gave me a rose, I was like,

825
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 7: what the fuck, Like I feel so seen and I

826
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 7: just walked and I cried.

827
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:21,240
Speaker 4: It just made me feel better.

828
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 2: I maybe, okay, maybe I'm not.

829
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 1: Convinced on the idea that there's an external or even

830
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,760
Speaker 1: like an internal God that is orchestrating events.

831
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 2: In your life.

832
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 4: You think things are just coincidences every totally.

833
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 2: I think everything.

834
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 1: But but but I believe that because we live in

835
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 1: an inherently meaningless world and God is within us, we

836
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:46,120
Speaker 1: as God are free to attribute meaning to whatever we want,

837
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 1: and that meaning is completely valid because we're God. And

838
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 1: because if nothing is valid, we get to discide what's valid.

839
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 1: So if you want to create some whatever narrative you

840
00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: create in your brain about your life and about the

841
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 1: world you as god, that narrative is correct, that's valid,

842
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 1: you know, I mean?

843
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 7: And also because like neuroscientifically, your brain is going to

844
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 7: go out of its way to prove.

845
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 4: Your narratives that you live on.

846
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:11,399
Speaker 5: Yes.

847
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:15,320
Speaker 7: Sure, So whatever you believe to be true, or whatever

848
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 7: your perception is of life, your brain will scope it

849
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 7: out or it will see everything in life and make

850
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:24,320
Speaker 7: that meaning.

851
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 4: It reflects back whatever you think.

852
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, you study psychology. Yeah, how long have you been

853
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:32,239
Speaker 1: studying psychology?

854
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 7: So I did my undergrad in it, which was like

855
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 7: four years, but everything was online because of COVID, So

856
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 7: I don't think I got to learn as much as

857
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:45,160
Speaker 7: people would have. It wasn't in COVID.

858
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 1: This has a scientific basis to it, right, the idea that,

859
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 1: like what you like, the narratives you craft in your

860
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:55,360
Speaker 1: own brain end up having some effect on your external reality.

861
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:55,799
Speaker 4: No, it's some.

862
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 7: It's like your either your whole entire external reality is

863
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 7: filter through your inner world.

864
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:05,360
Speaker 1: Like it makes you got I'm the god. I'm God

865
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 1: of my own externality exactly.

866
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:08,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, definitely you could see it that way.

867
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 2: So what do you want to do with psychology?

868
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 7: I want to be a speaker, writer, and I don't

869
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 7: know advice therapist.

870
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 4: I guess I work one on one.

871
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 7: I just want to I want to discover some really

872
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:25,879
Speaker 7: crazy shit we haven't discovered in psychology and.

873
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 4: Then use that to help people.

874
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 7: Heal because I feel like there's so much brokenness and

875
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,359
Speaker 7: I'm like, and there's a we have found out a lot,

876
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 7: but I'm like, there has to be something else we

877
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,840
Speaker 7: don't know because everyone is still really really depressed. Her like,

878
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 7: maybe I can explain an idea in a way that

879
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 7: nobody has before.

880
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 1: So what you just said everyone is I want we

881
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,880
Speaker 1: want to discover something new because everyone is still really depressed.

882
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 2: We kind of know why everyone's really.

883
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 1: Depressed, don't anything well, because I mean a lot of

884
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:08,800
Speaker 1: reasons like, uh, economic turmoil and over use of technology

885
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:10,840
Speaker 1: and dopamine loops.

886
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:15,839
Speaker 2: And less recent dopamine loops. Uh what do I know

887
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,799
Speaker 2: about dopamine loops? Probably I know.

888
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 1: I know about them only through anecdotal experience, not nothing

889
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:28,720
Speaker 1: to know. You probably have significantly as in one hundred

890
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 1: percent more text.

891
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:30,720
Speaker 2: This isn't a test.

892
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 4: I just wanted to know.

893
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 7: I just was like doing some research about it last night,

894
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:35,719
Speaker 7: and I like realized.

895
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 4: You know how people tell you like, oh, like.

896
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 7: Just get off your phone and enjoy the present moment.

897
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 7: Like why is everyone like addicted to like weed on

898
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:43,280
Speaker 7: your phone?

899
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:46,720
Speaker 4: Like be in real life. It's not as easy as.

900
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,680
Speaker 7: They say it is because chemically, your receptors, everyone's receptors

901
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 7: are fucking shocked.

902
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.

903
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 7: So if you wake up and you go on your phone,

904
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:57,439
Speaker 7: if you every time you're stressed out you like grab

905
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:00,720
Speaker 7: your joint, If every time you're upset you eat food,

906
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 7: your receptors are getting your receptors become more sensitive to

907
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 7: that dopamine. But it's high reward with really low efforts. Yeah,

908
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 7: So anytime you do something that is higher effort with

909
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 7: low reward, maybe like a scale, like a puzzle or meditating,

910
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:24,400
Speaker 7: like your your receptors aren't picking up on that dopamine.

911
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,880
Speaker 7: It literally chemically does not feel good to you anymore.

912
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 2: Yeah.

913
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:32,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, so our receptors can they be tell us veda,

914
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,120
Speaker 1: Can our receptors be restored to us?

915
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 4: Definitely?

916
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's you basically are just gonna have to dial

917
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 7: down your usage of whatever vice you're kind of addicted

918
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 7: to that's giving you too much high reward with really

919
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:53,719
Speaker 7: low effort and then what go ahead and then replace

920
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 7: it with something else which is gonna feel uncomfortable obviously.

921
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 2: Are you in any different mean loops? Do you have

922
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:01,920
Speaker 2: any vices?

923
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 7: No, I recently, I mean I'm sure I do, but

924
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 7: they're I really try to. I have replaced them with

925
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 7: healthier things because I recently quit alcohol, weed, and nicotine

926
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 7: and coffee just because like.

927
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:19,280
Speaker 2: I got with coffee.

928
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, well no, because like you're a nervous system.

929
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 7: Everyone's nervous system is really sensitive. So every time you

930
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,799
Speaker 7: feel that like jitteriness, like sometimes it could be from

931
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 7: insecurity or sometimes it can be from coffee. And I

932
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:35,200
Speaker 7: want to be able to know if it's because I'm

933
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 7: insecure or like if I'm having an insecure moment, if

934
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:41,880
Speaker 7: I'm having like a wound come up. And it's harder

935
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:45,760
Speaker 7: to tell if I'm drinking coffee because now my nervous

936
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:50,279
Speaker 7: system is like feeling jittery from that food. I still

937
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 7: drink macha and like tea.

938
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:53,840
Speaker 2: But I just stopped.

939
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 7: I just stopped coffee just because I want to be

940
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:59,920
Speaker 7: able to track my body a little bit more accurately.

941
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 2: Was it difficult to quit all those did you quit

942
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:02,959
Speaker 2: all three of that once.

943
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 4: Yeah.

944
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:04,799
Speaker 5: Hard.

945
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 4: I honestly just had a really.

946
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:17,000
Speaker 7: I experienced ego death, and through that I was able

947
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 7: to quit because I wanted to try really hard to

948
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:26,360
Speaker 7: be able to retain everything I felt, and I thought

949
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 7: if I did it scientifically, I could do it. And

950
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:33,800
Speaker 7: that was just one of the ways that I found that.

951
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:39,280
Speaker 4: I could kind of keep a healthier state.

952
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 7: But this is it sounds crazy, Okay, Well, so that's why, like,

953
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 7: I don't like to compare my experience to other people,

954
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 7: because if I didn't go through that, I would it

955
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:52,240
Speaker 7: would have been way harder.

956
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 2: What did your ego death look like?

957
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 7: Honestly, dude, it's too personal and I haven't been wanting

958
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 7: to talk about it.

959
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 4: One day, I'm going to write a book on it.

960
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:06,479
Speaker 7: But yeah, I just thought I might as well share

961
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 7: that it's been. Like, it was so intense that I, like,

962
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:11,880
Speaker 7: I didn't share it with anyone because.

963
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 2: I when did this happen?

964
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 6: March?

965
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 4: At the end of March?

966
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 2: How do you define an egos?

967
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:18,839
Speaker 5: There?

968
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 7: When you lose all concept of self and separation, you

969
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 7: have no I lost concept of time, and it was

970
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 7: it was scary at first because I didn't understand what

971
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:43,800
Speaker 7: was happening. Yeah, and then I it became honestly like surreal,

972
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 7: and it was the best feeling. It's what made me

973
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:51,600
Speaker 7: believe in God, honestly. Like that is why I am

974
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 7: so passionate about like love and like God with him,

975
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 7: because before that I had so much resentment towards religion

976
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 7: and like because I grew up really Christian, Like my

977
00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 7: mom was super strict about it, but I had so

978
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 7: much like Gill and like fear based religion, Like I

979
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 7: just I hated it. I grew very resemful, and I

980
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,840
Speaker 7: like just stopped caring about it for a while, like

981
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:18,400
Speaker 7: for honestly most.

982
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 4: Of my college years.

983
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:23,799
Speaker 7: And then after this, like my brain fucking exploded and

984
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 7: like I never went back.

985
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 1: So it's interesting that you say that your ego death

986
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:33,360
Speaker 1: was a beautiful thing, because I had an ego death

987
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:38,760
Speaker 1: back in February that led to like existential depression because

988
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 1: like once once I realized just how much I don't matter.

989
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 1: Like that's how I kind of feel like the ego

990
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 1: death is it led me to a bit of a

991
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 1: state of nihilism, which I've I've been able to overcome,

992
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:55,320
Speaker 1: you know, But the ego death was a very unplayed.

993
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:56,239
Speaker 1: It made me feel like I was like at a

994
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 1: kne Brothers movie, you know what I mean. Like I'm like,

995
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 1: uh oh, what the fuck this is? Like what an

996
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 1: insane cosmic predicament I've never actually thought about?

997
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:05,319
Speaker 3: You know?

998
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 7: Yeah, No, I see that a lot of people have

999
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:12,839
Speaker 7: different experiences with it, like I. So that's what I'm

1000
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 7: trying to do research on, is like what ego death

1001
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 7: actually is and how many people actually go through it

1002
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:21,920
Speaker 7: because there has to be different definitions for the different

1003
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 7: types of experiences.

1004
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 2: And you had a specific experience.

1005
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 7: I had the most, Like It's like, dude, I had

1006
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,720
Speaker 7: the most insane fucking experience in my fucking life.

1007
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,279
Speaker 1: So you want to discover I was back to like

1008
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:40,760
Speaker 1: the studying of psychological concepts. Yeah, you want to discover

1009
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 1: something that we have not discovered before.

1010
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I want to.

1011
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 7: I have this thing where like I get really angry

1012
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 7: seeing the same things all the time, like seeing the

1013
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,479
Speaker 7: same advice being given all the time, and I get.

1014
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:57,240
Speaker 2: What is the advice you see given all the time?

1015
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:02,360
Speaker 7: It's just like repetitive things like oh, like you know,

1016
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 7: your inner world reflects your outer world, like things we've

1017
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 7: already talked.

1018
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:09,520
Speaker 4: About or like get off your phone, like meditate, like

1019
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 4: and I get.

1020
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:13,359
Speaker 7: It those things like how but like maybe it needs

1021
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 7: to be explained in a way or like I need

1022
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 7: to find I just don't want to say the same

1023
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:17,759
Speaker 7: things like.

1024
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 1: I and and by the way, fully fully supportive of

1025
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:27,480
Speaker 1: your vision to discover a new thing, But don't I

1026
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 1: feel like the answer probably lies not within like the

1027
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 1: the answer if there is an answer, but like wouldn't

1028
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,839
Speaker 1: he wouldn't the answer if there was one, not lie

1029
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 1: in the discovery of new information, but in the application

1030
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 1: of the information we already have.

1031
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:45,759
Speaker 7: Yeah, so I'm not saying that everything I know is

1032
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 7: based upon the research we've already we already have, Like

1033
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:50,839
Speaker 7: without it, we would we would not be able to.

1034
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 2: So what is that?

1035
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:53,960
Speaker 1: What is there that I'm so fascinated by what you

1036
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:55,879
Speaker 1: what you mean by you want to discover something new?

1037
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:57,680
Speaker 2: What is there new to discover?

1038
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 4: There's so much new to discover, Like.

1039
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 7: There are so many things today that people like twenty

1040
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:10,400
Speaker 7: years ago never even knew, like all neuroscience research or

1041
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 7: psychological research, like it's it's keeps growing and growing, and

1042
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:18,040
Speaker 7: I and I know it seems like we probably already

1043
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:18,560
Speaker 7: know everything.

1044
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:20,320
Speaker 4: But I refuse to believe that, like, I don't know,

1045
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:20,719
Speaker 4: I don't know.

1046
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:22,760
Speaker 1: I don't think, I don't I don't think we already

1047
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 1: know everything.

1048
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:24,960
Speaker 4: I just I don't know.

1049
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 7: I have a big fixation on like inventing something like

1050
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 7: I don't I don't know. I just hate saying the

1051
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:32,760
Speaker 7: same shit everyone already knows. I just want to discover

1052
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 7: something that nobody's ever talked about. And I like psychology,

1053
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 7: so I'm like, okay, it'll be in psychology because I'm

1054
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 7: obsessed with psychology.

1055
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:41,440
Speaker 2: Would you ever be a therapist?

1056
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:43,239
Speaker 4: Not Like when I.

1057
00:47:43,239 --> 00:47:45,760
Speaker 7: Think of a therapist, I think of like a really

1058
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:48,680
Speaker 7: boring person who doesn't like their job and is doing

1059
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 7: this because they wanted a fast agree.

1060
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 4: So I'm sure it's not always like that.

1061
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,319
Speaker 7: But like when I think of a therapist, I think

1062
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:57,279
Speaker 7: of like, I just think of that like a person

1063
00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:58,240
Speaker 7: who's not as passionate.

1064
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 4: So I want to be.

1065
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 7: A researcher, but use my research also do one on

1066
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:08,799
Speaker 7: one work with people.

1067
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,200
Speaker 4: So I guess, yeah, that's a therapist.

1068
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:11,840
Speaker 1: But what you want to do be a researcher, You

1069
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 1: want to be like a coach and well, and I.

1070
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 4: Want to be a speaker.

1071
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:18,400
Speaker 7: I want to be a public speaker, and I guess

1072
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 7: what a coach, public speaker, a writer, just all of that,

1073
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 7: anything that has to do with talking and sharing. But

1074
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 7: in regards to psychology, so I don't really care about labels.

1075
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 2: I support the vision data.

1076
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, what do you want to do?

1077
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:39,720
Speaker 1: I've wanted to do the same thing for like six years,

1078
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 1: which is travel around the world and talk to people.

1079
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:45,440
Speaker 4: Nice.

1080
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 1: So I actually I do think a lot like what

1081
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:51,280
Speaker 1: would I do with my life? I could do anything,

1082
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 1: And it's.

1083
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 4: Like everyone should think like that, all.

1084
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 1: You know, travel the world and talk to people. So

1085
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:03,279
Speaker 1: I guess that's what I'm doing right now. And uh,

1086
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 1: you know, host like events.

1087
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:06,840
Speaker 4: Is it as you thought it would be?

1088
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,839
Speaker 1: Is it as fulfilling as STU thought it would be? No,

1089
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:11,840
Speaker 1: nothing as ever as fulfilling as you think it's gonna be.

1090
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:16,600
Speaker 7: You think, yeah, or maybe you just haven't enjoyed any

1091
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 7: of it.

1092
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,600
Speaker 1: Well, it's actually hold on, is it a feeling as

1093
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:21,839
Speaker 1: thought it's gonna be? I enjoy I'm enjoying this right now.

1094
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 1: I'm enjoying it is fulfilling. Yes, it is fulfilling. It's

1095
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,120
Speaker 1: a feeling. But you always think that like the things

1096
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 1: that you always think that when you achieve your dreams,

1097
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 1: it's gonna ascend you into something beyond your set whatever.

1098
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:36,960
Speaker 1: But you're still you're never you never escape your life.

1099
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:39,120
Speaker 1: Yeah you know what that makes sense?

1100
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:41,239
Speaker 7: Yeah, well it's because you think it's gonna bring you

1101
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:43,280
Speaker 7: some sense of security or something.

1102
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:45,400
Speaker 2: Because you think it's gonna bring some sense of security.

1103
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 1: But I'm slowly realizing every year I get older and

1104
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:53,520
Speaker 1: every dream I accomplish, that security does not exist.

1105
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:57,399
Speaker 7: Are you sure that you just haven't reached it on

1106
00:49:57,440 --> 00:49:57,839
Speaker 7: your own?

1107
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 1: We're gonna die, se there's no such thing as security.

1108
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 1: We're gonna We're gonna die and we a We're gonna

1109
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 1: die and then be.

1110
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 2: We live in an unpredictable, chaotic worlds.

1111
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 1: There's no there's no security ever and so therefore all

1112
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:19,279
Speaker 1: you all there is is the present moment. Yeah, and

1113
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 1: so security is kind of a bit of a myth.

1114
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:24,760
Speaker 4: No, so let me rephrase.

1115
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 7: When I think of security, I think of the feeling

1116
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 7: of wholeness, like you're calling, like without any of this.

1117
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 4: And that's the thing.

1118
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 7: People are thinking that their achievements or their promotion or

1119
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 7: their partner is gonna give them that feeling of wholeness,

1120
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 7: that security, feeling like Okay, now I feel good, But

1121
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:45,760
Speaker 7: it never gives them that because it's never gonna be outside,

1122
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 7: it's gonna be Oh yeah.

1123
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:49,799
Speaker 1: I felt well, I feel whole. Sometimes I don't think

1124
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:51,680
Speaker 1: feeling whole for me is.

1125
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:54,839
Speaker 2: Not a uh one and done.

1126
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:57,000
Speaker 1: Oh I feel whole now, Like I like, like I

1127
00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:00,040
Speaker 1: didn't feel like I was when I was at this

1128
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:04,279
Speaker 1: block party thing smoking weed today. I felt something was off.

1129
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,239
Speaker 1: I felt a lack. Yeah, I was like, I'm not,

1130
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 1: I don't I feel like I'm off in some way, yeah,

1131
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 1: or like I like I'll be like out of the

1132
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:15,240
Speaker 1: thing or doing something. I have moments in my life

1133
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:18,400
Speaker 1: where I feel a strong sense of a lack and

1134
00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:21,600
Speaker 1: I feel a strong whatever the opposite of hole is.

1135
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 1: And then I was like, I was just on the

1136
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 1: subway one morning and I was like and I had

1137
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 1: a moment of wholeness where I was like, I feel

1138
00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:35,320
Speaker 1: my life is great. My life is exactly how I

1139
00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:38,000
Speaker 1: ever wanted it to be. I live in New York.

1140
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 1: I do I have a cool thing. I do as

1141
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:44,279
Speaker 1: a get go. I have friends, Like I mean, like,

1142
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:48,319
Speaker 1: everything is great. I have no need for anything. This

1143
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:50,520
Speaker 1: is great. I have moments of wholeness. But wholeness is

1144
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:53,320
Speaker 1: not like a I am now whole forever. It's a

1145
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:56,279
Speaker 1: thing you have to constantly get in touch.

1146
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:57,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, of course you don't think you can feel a

1147
00:51:57,960 --> 00:51:59,320
Speaker 7: hole when you're sad too, though.

1148
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:04,719
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, sometimes when I feel sad and depressed. Uh,

1149
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:06,319
Speaker 1: I guess I feel whole in the sense of like

1150
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 1: I've accepted that this is just just happens.

1151
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:10,239
Speaker 2: This is just part of that.

1152
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, because there's no security, and so when

1153
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 1: you think that, oh, eventually I'm going to arrive, it's

1154
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:19,440
Speaker 1: some version of my life that is completely devoid of problems,

1155
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:24,279
Speaker 1: completely devoid of sadness, completely devoid of anything which I

1156
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 1: have often and still a little bit too believe I

1157
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 1: will one day achieve, which is good.

1158
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 2: It's good to have that. It's good. It's good to

1159
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:34,319
Speaker 2: want things. It's good, like the lack is good.

1160
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,719
Speaker 1: It motivates you to want to keep doing stuff, because

1161
00:52:36,719 --> 00:52:39,000
Speaker 1: if I just felt whole and amazing all the time,

1162
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:40,720
Speaker 1: I never try to do anything.

1163
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 7: You know, So you think you can only want to

1164
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:45,760
Speaker 7: do things whenever you feel like sad or insecure about

1165
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 7: not getting there.

1166
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 2: It's I don't think I can. I don't.

1167
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 1: I don't think I only can. But it's a damn

1168
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 1: good motivator, is it not.

1169
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 7: You don't think like you could feel motivated if you

1170
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 7: already were secure in yourself, like just out of like

1171
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:01,399
Speaker 7: pure interest like that I want to do that?

1172
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I can. Okay, I think so.

1173
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:06,719
Speaker 1: I think I a little bit of that, And then

1174
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:10,680
Speaker 1: sometimes I'm like, then sometimes I'll chase things out of

1175
00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 1: I'll chase things.

1176
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:13,279
Speaker 2: I've had time in my life.

1177
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 1: Where I felt like I was chasing things out of security,

1178
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 1: and then times I felt like I was chasing things

1179
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:17,880
Speaker 1: out of insecurity.

1180
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:19,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, have you ever chased?

1181
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 1: Do you ever chase? Like in your life? Do you

1182
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:22,320
Speaker 1: only chase out of insecurity?

1183
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:25,280
Speaker 2: At least? Sorry, do you only chase out of security?

1184
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:26,320
Speaker 6: Well?

1185
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:27,240
Speaker 4: I mean it's not.

1186
00:53:27,200 --> 00:53:30,879
Speaker 7: Like a choice I can consciously make all the time.

1187
00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 7: But like I think, for most of my life and

1188
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 7: if everyone were honest with themselves, a lot of their

1189
00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:39,719
Speaker 7: driving factors of wanting to get somewhere is because they

1190
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:41,799
Speaker 7: want to prove something to themselves or prove something to

1191
00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 7: other people, or not because they genuinely find Maybe it's

1192
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:47,680
Speaker 7: like half and half like you said, but I realized

1193
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 7: that I don't want to do things to feel better

1194
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:53,040
Speaker 7: about myself. I want to do it because I actually

1195
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 7: like it, And then feeling better about myself is gonna.

1196
00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:55,759
Speaker 2: Have to come.

1197
00:53:56,360 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 7: Well, yes, but also like true secure and yourself can calm,

1198
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:05,960
Speaker 7: like without the job, without like the friends, with the

1199
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:07,840
Speaker 7: accomplishments I.

1200
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:09,920
Speaker 2: Think about.

1201
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 1: I think about this all the time, and I used

1202
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 1: to believe. And it's a very stoic. But the's a

1203
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 1: lot of stoicism I think you're talking about.

1204
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:25,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I'm very stoic.

1205
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:29,040
Speaker 2: I guess I have in my life been very stoic too.

1206
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:31,120
Speaker 4: But you said, now you're a nihilist, right.

1207
00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:33,319
Speaker 1: No, I won't. I don't identify with any of this.

1208
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm a gecko.

1209
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:36,000
Speaker 4: Oh I forgot.

1210
00:54:36,040 --> 00:54:36,840
Speaker 2: I'm just a gecko.

1211
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 1: But I've thought a lot about the idea of like

1212
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:46,600
Speaker 1: could I live a life where I talked to my

1213
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:48,560
Speaker 1: sister about I said this to my sister once. It

1214
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:50,640
Speaker 1: just makes fun of me about it, but I said

1215
00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:52,960
Speaker 1: to my sister once, Uh, I'd love to live a

1216
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:57,200
Speaker 1: life where I had no money, no friends, uh, no accomplishments,

1217
00:54:57,239 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 1: and I was naked on a beach and I felt

1218
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:04,080
Speaker 1: happy and then like I'm but she didn't understand when

1219
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,879
Speaker 1: I met by that I don't And so now she's like, wow,

1220
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:08,359
Speaker 1: do you remember when you told me that you want

1221
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:10,960
Speaker 1: to not have any friends? I was like, you know what,

1222
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 1: I'm but got it, and I said that and that's

1223
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:17,400
Speaker 1: what I you know, that's what like, that's that's the

1224
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:20,000
Speaker 1: dream of a life of only intrinsic happiness.

1225
00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 2: But that's well, that's unrealistic.

1226
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:26,399
Speaker 1: I think a lot of life. I just think you're

1227
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:30,640
Speaker 1: bullshitting yourself if you think that you can, like, you know,

1228
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,720
Speaker 1: only live a life of completely intrinsic happiness.

1229
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:38,399
Speaker 2: You need other people, You need the world, well you do.

1230
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:41,000
Speaker 4: Well, science, that's not what that means. It means that.

1231
00:55:42,760 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 7: You don't need them to feel happy. You do need them,

1232
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:49,279
Speaker 7: like socially, when I say happy, I mean like you

1233
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:53,200
Speaker 7: don't need it to feel secure in yourself, But scientifically, yeah,

1234
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 7: you need to talk to people like we are social creatures. Yes,

1235
00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:59,680
Speaker 7: you need like a home and you need money to live.

1236
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:00,799
Speaker 4: But what I mean is that.

1237
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 7: If you didn't have your fan base, if you didn't

1238
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:07,479
Speaker 7: have this, if you didn't have your.

1239
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:10,440
Speaker 4: Accomplishments, who do you believe you are?

1240
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 5: Like?

1241
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:15,760
Speaker 7: Can you still like feel complete and whole without every

1242
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:19,279
Speaker 7: external thing, Like that's the question, and like that's what

1243
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:23,480
Speaker 7: I'm trying to practice, is like feeling like I don't

1244
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:29,240
Speaker 7: need I don't need anything exterior to keep myself secure

1245
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:29,840
Speaker 7: in myself.

1246
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:31,600
Speaker 2: You're in school now, right, Yeah?

1247
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:34,440
Speaker 1: If the school said to you you're banned from school,

1248
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:38,040
Speaker 1: you can never study psychology ever again because you like

1249
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:40,959
Speaker 1: a youied.

1250
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:42,480
Speaker 2: You failed your test, and I think that a school.

1251
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:43,400
Speaker 2: How would that?

1252
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 1: Or are your friends right, your friends, well, okay, all

1253
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 1: your friends back home? If they if all your friends

1254
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 1: were like, hey, we don't want to talk to you anymore,

1255
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:55,000
Speaker 1: and your parents died, you have a little bit of

1256
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:57,360
Speaker 1: you have any money but in your bank account? Yeah,

1257
00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:00,759
Speaker 1: if it all went to zero and all these things

1258
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:05,640
Speaker 1: happened to once and you have clothes in your words?

1259
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:06,319
Speaker 2: Are that you like that?

1260
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:09,719
Speaker 1: You're getting hem's you know, if everything went away. You're

1261
00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:12,360
Speaker 1: telling me right now that that you're telling me that

1262
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:16,120
Speaker 1: wouldn't suck. No, you're telling me, after all that you

1263
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:20,200
Speaker 1: could still be like still feel secure and secure, not

1264
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:22,520
Speaker 1: not still, but you're telling me that you wouldn't feel

1265
00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:23,880
Speaker 1: like how would you have?

1266
00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:24,040
Speaker 5: No?

1267
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:26,200
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I want I will I'll a phrase that question,

1268
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:27,200
Speaker 1: how would you feel?

1269
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:31,560
Speaker 7: So there's a I think there's like different definitions here.

1270
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:35,880
Speaker 7: You can feel secure in who you are while still

1271
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:38,760
Speaker 7: having sad moments in life. Your life, there's always gonna

1272
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:41,360
Speaker 7: be painful moments like yeah, family's gonna die.

1273
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:42,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, if I got kids out of school, that would suck.

1274
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 7: I would still feel sad, but I wouldn't make it

1275
00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 7: mean anything about my worth is basically what I'm saying,

1276
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:51,680
Speaker 7: like understanding that you're always worthy and to always believe

1277
00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 7: in yourself no matter how many people are watching, no

1278
00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:57,240
Speaker 7: matter how many friends you have, or no matter if

1279
00:57:57,240 --> 00:58:00,160
Speaker 7: that school accepts you, Like if the school didn't accept me,

1280
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:02,960
Speaker 7: if nobody wanted to be my friend, if I didn't

1281
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:07,480
Speaker 7: have money or any status, I should still know that

1282
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 7: I am worthy and I should still like myself. It's

1283
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:13,040
Speaker 7: not contingent upon if you accept me.

1284
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:15,960
Speaker 2: If that makes sense, that makes a lot of sense.

1285
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:17,360
Speaker 2: And that makes a lot of.

1286
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 1: Sense, and I buy that that makes a lot of sense. Uveda,

1287
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:27,160
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the

1288
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:28,400
Speaker 1: people of the computer.

1289
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:28,800
Speaker 2: Before we go?

1290
00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 4: Choose love over fear?

1291
00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:37,160
Speaker 2: Thank you, Ada, good luck with your your your journeys.

1292
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:38,920
Speaker 4: Thank you so much for letting me speak.

1293
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:42,560
Speaker 2: Of course, see Venam, have a seat. What's your name?

1294
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:43,720
Speaker 8: Cameron?

1295
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 2: Ammo, Cameron, Cameron, what's up? Cameron? Did you Cameron? Cameron?

1296
00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:51,600
Speaker 2: Are you here? Just now?

1297
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:54,680
Speaker 1: For that whole conversation, I did not hear Oh you

1298
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 1: didn't hear any of it or heard like maybe twenty

1299
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:58,760
Speaker 1: percent of That's okay, we can we can. We can

1300
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:00,240
Speaker 1: be in our own conversation.

1301
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 8: I heard some stuff about like Ego Duff.

1302
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:03,480
Speaker 2: We did talk about Ego Dad.

1303
00:59:04,880 --> 00:59:09,040
Speaker 1: We talked about uh, we talked about a lot of stuff.

1304
00:59:09,080 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 1: But you know what that was that interview? And this

1305
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,240
Speaker 1: is this one? And how is your night at the

1306
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:13,680
Speaker 1: park going?

1307
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:15,480
Speaker 8: Is just getting started?

1308
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:16,320
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do later?

1309
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:18,560
Speaker 8: I have no idea.

1310
00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:19,760
Speaker 1: You have no idea, but you know you're gonna do something.

1311
00:59:19,760 --> 00:59:25,560
Speaker 1: You know that the eving's just getting started? Yeah, how

1312
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:27,200
Speaker 1: do you know that? The but it's like what it's what?

1313
00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:28,360
Speaker 2: What? What time is it right now?

1314
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 1: It's like ten something?

1315
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:36,360
Speaker 8: This is your is your girlfriend? Oh no, all right,

1316
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 8: that's my parole officer. He makes sure I don't like

1317
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:42,000
Speaker 8: get into any trouble. Okay, do you uh do you

1318
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:45,120
Speaker 8: normally get into trouble? Yeah, what do you get into?

1319
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:48,600
Speaker 8: What kind of trouble do you get into? I don't

1320
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:49,960
Speaker 8: think I'm allowed to say it on camera.

1321
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:51,520
Speaker 1: You don't have to you don't have to do anything.

1322
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:56,360
Speaker 1: What do you do for fun?

1323
00:59:56,960 --> 01:00:02,240
Speaker 8: For fun? I'm also not saying that on camera.

1324
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:04,960
Speaker 1: We're gonna I'm gonna keep going until we get to

1325
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:06,080
Speaker 1: something that you can say on camera.

1326
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 2: Okay, what is your relationship like with your parents?

1327
01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:21,160
Speaker 8: My mom's really nice and with my dad, I hope

1328
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:25,520
Speaker 8: he's not watching. It is weird, Like he's very inconsistent,

1329
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:28,480
Speaker 8: very strange, you know what I mean?

1330
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:30,760
Speaker 2: How long has that been happening.

1331
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:35,160
Speaker 8: I want to say since like nine ten. It's like

1332
01:00:35,480 --> 01:00:37,120
Speaker 8: as you grow up, you kind of see the cracks

1333
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 8: and you're like, it's still my dad, but it's kind

1334
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 8: of horrible as a human being. He does some bad things.

1335
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:47,720
Speaker 8: So I'm just I don't get it.

1336
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:49,360
Speaker 2: Do you guys still talk?

1337
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:50,000
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1338
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:53,000
Speaker 8: Well we live in the same house. Yeah, but it's

1339
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:55,760
Speaker 8: like some days he's tolerable to be around it. Other

1340
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:58,520
Speaker 8: days it's like I'm doing everything my power to stay

1341
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:01,160
Speaker 8: away from him. Like right now, I don't want to

1342
01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:02,840
Speaker 8: go home because I don't want to see him. He's

1343
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:06,040
Speaker 8: not really, it's someone you want to talk to.

1344
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:07,360
Speaker 2: But your mom is nice?

1345
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 8: Yes, really nice?

1346
01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:12,720
Speaker 2: What is nice about your mom?

1347
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:14,840
Speaker 8: Even though she has like a New Yorker attitude, like

1348
01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:18,880
Speaker 8: normally you know how we are, we don't like talking

1349
01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:21,960
Speaker 8: to people, we keep it pushing, She's still really kind.

1350
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:24,040
Speaker 8: If you approach her the right way, she'll always find

1351
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:27,680
Speaker 8: like something nice in people. She told me to always

1352
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:31,560
Speaker 8: be kind of respectful things like that. She's just a

1353
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:33,800
Speaker 8: really nice lady. Even if she wasn't my mom, I would.

1354
01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:36,880
Speaker 2: Say that, do you have any siblings?

1355
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:39,640
Speaker 8: I have a sister. You have a sister, Yeah, a

1356
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:40,400
Speaker 8: younger sister.

1357
01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:41,560
Speaker 2: What's her deal?

1358
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:46,440
Speaker 8: She's just a teenage girl. That's all I'm gonna say.

1359
01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:47,920
Speaker 2: Do you guys have a good relationship?

1360
01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:51,760
Speaker 8: Yeah? She shook me be annoying from time to time,

1361
01:01:51,800 --> 01:01:53,760
Speaker 8: But yeah, do.

1362
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:55,120
Speaker 2: You go to school in the city.

1363
01:01:55,760 --> 01:01:58,880
Speaker 8: I go to LaGuardia Community College that's in Long Island City.

1364
01:01:59,080 --> 01:02:04,680
Speaker 2: Cool? How's school done? Get me the fuck out at her?

1365
01:02:05,440 --> 01:02:05,840
Speaker 2: Out of what?

1366
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:06,040
Speaker 4: Wait?

1367
01:02:06,080 --> 01:02:08,360
Speaker 2: Where's here is that at a school?

1368
01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:08,720
Speaker 8: Yeah?

1369
01:02:08,920 --> 01:02:10,400
Speaker 2: Okay, I thought you meant. I thought you were like,

1370
01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:12,560
Speaker 2: I can't handle this interview. These are too much. How's

1371
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:17,400
Speaker 2: school going is too hot seat of a question. What

1372
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:18,280
Speaker 2: was I gonna say?

1373
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:22,920
Speaker 8: Uh? Why do you hate school? I went into it

1374
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:24,960
Speaker 8: way too early. I should have taken maybe a year

1375
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:28,040
Speaker 8: to think about what I want to do. But I'm

1376
01:02:28,040 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 8: more dead set on something else rather than what I'm

1377
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:31,720
Speaker 8: pursuing in school.

1378
01:02:32,320 --> 01:02:34,440
Speaker 2: And what are you pursuing in school?

1379
01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:36,120
Speaker 8: Paralegal studies?

1380
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:38,480
Speaker 2: Okay, that's It's like the other lady you wanted to

1381
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:38,960
Speaker 2: be a lawyer.

1382
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:41,440
Speaker 8: She wanted to be a full lawyer. I'm just what

1383
01:02:41,520 --> 01:02:43,160
Speaker 8: I am to a lawyer is like what a nurse

1384
01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 8: is to a doctor. Not doing really anything?

1385
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:47,600
Speaker 2: Is that? Is that your vibe? Is that what you

1386
01:02:47,640 --> 01:02:48,520
Speaker 2: want to be? A paralegal?

1387
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:49,400
Speaker 8: No?

1388
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:51,200
Speaker 2: What do you want to be? Oh?

1389
01:02:51,320 --> 01:02:53,160
Speaker 8: I want to join the fire department. That's something I

1390
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:53,800
Speaker 8: really care about.

1391
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:56,680
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, so what's preventing you from joining the fire department? Oh?

1392
01:02:56,720 --> 01:02:58,640
Speaker 8: Not from really. I already took the test, but it's

1393
01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:00,920
Speaker 8: like a long process. So even though I took the

1394
01:03:00,920 --> 01:03:03,480
Speaker 8: written test, I still got to do the physical, then

1395
01:03:03,920 --> 01:03:06,840
Speaker 8: psychiatric and whatnot. That's gonna take a while.

1396
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:08,720
Speaker 2: Do you think you're going to do well on the

1397
01:03:08,760 --> 01:03:10,400
Speaker 2: psychiatric and the physical?

1398
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:13,280
Speaker 8: Yes?

1399
01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:19,240
Speaker 2: Yes, it's funny that it took you a second to think.

1400
01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 1: About it, probably better than the written than the written Yeah,

1401
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:26,400
Speaker 1: what is involved in the written firefighter test?

1402
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:29,280
Speaker 8: It is just like basic english and math questions. But

1403
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:32,000
Speaker 8: like the day of when I took it, I only

1404
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:33,960
Speaker 8: got maybe four hours of sleep because I was stressed out.

1405
01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:37,200
Speaker 2: Oh no, really, do you you seem like.

1406
01:03:38,120 --> 01:03:39,720
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know you very well. We've only

1407
01:03:39,720 --> 01:03:41,760
Speaker 1: been talking for a little bit, but you seem like

1408
01:03:41,920 --> 01:03:46,000
Speaker 1: a low stress guy.

1409
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:49,080
Speaker 8: Or is that just like probably what it looks like

1410
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:51,360
Speaker 8: on the surface, but like it's like up and down.

1411
01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:54,120
Speaker 2: Okay, what stresses you out the most in life?

1412
01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:56,000
Speaker 8: Myself?

1413
01:03:56,640 --> 01:03:58,040
Speaker 2: Why do you stress yourself out?

1414
01:03:58,280 --> 01:04:01,880
Speaker 1: Oh?

1415
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:05,680
Speaker 8: I'm gonna skip that one. Huh, I'm skip that one.

1416
01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:08,960
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, that's okay. I'm trying to think if I

1417
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:11,960
Speaker 1: have any I feel like I you know this, I

1418
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:15,040
Speaker 1: gotta say. This isn't meant to be like a therapy session.

1419
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:17,600
Speaker 1: It just ends up being that for most of these

1420
01:04:17,640 --> 01:04:19,920
Speaker 1: interviews we can do, we don't have we can talk

1421
01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:21,400
Speaker 1: about random ass ship.

1422
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:23,200
Speaker 8: I can see why it ends up like that because

1423
01:04:23,240 --> 01:04:26,040
Speaker 8: like when you meet someone like one time, it's easy

1424
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:29,960
Speaker 8: just to say things like that. Total It's like I

1425
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:32,280
Speaker 8: would say, but like, I'm surrounded by people, so it's

1426
01:04:32,320 --> 01:04:34,600
Speaker 8: like kind of more like ooh, I don't want to

1427
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:34,880
Speaker 8: say that.

1428
01:04:36,320 --> 01:04:38,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's weird because we're around a circle of people.

1429
01:04:38,720 --> 01:04:41,760
Speaker 1: But I feel very uh, this is very chi This

1430
01:04:41,840 --> 01:04:43,560
Speaker 1: feels very chill, Like I just feel like I'm just

1431
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:44,080
Speaker 1: looking at you.

1432
01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:47,200
Speaker 2: I feel like we're just talking. But you know, all

1433
01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 2: of my like inherent.

1434
01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:57,960
Speaker 1: Curiosities are probably about like, uh, therapy questions.

1435
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:01,440
Speaker 2: Somebody's asking you something.

1436
01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:05,280
Speaker 1: Oh, so do you want to talk about anything that's

1437
01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:06,880
Speaker 1: not therapy ish?

1438
01:05:07,200 --> 01:05:09,080
Speaker 8: I want to ask what makes you want to do this?

1439
01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:10,680
Speaker 8: I know you probably get that a lot, but like,

1440
01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:12,720
Speaker 8: this is my first time seeing you. What makes you

1441
01:05:12,760 --> 01:05:13,240
Speaker 8: want to do this?

1442
01:05:13,280 --> 01:05:14,840
Speaker 1: I mean it's a fun thing to do, is you

1443
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:17,720
Speaker 1: know you get to hang out with random people?

1444
01:05:18,680 --> 01:05:20,640
Speaker 8: How do the idea come about? Like why a gecko?

1445
01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:21,320
Speaker 8: In particular?

1446
01:05:21,760 --> 01:05:23,400
Speaker 2: Do you believe you can be anything you want.

1447
01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:26,800
Speaker 8: If you try hard enough? Yeah?

1448
01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:28,280
Speaker 2: Why not be a get go?

1449
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:33,760
Speaker 8: I feel like in an alternate university probably shows like

1450
01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:36,160
Speaker 8: a rat because if it's New York City, much better.

1451
01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:39,120
Speaker 1: There is another guy who does well, he doesn't really

1452
01:05:39,160 --> 01:05:41,280
Speaker 1: do this, but he does stress up as a rat.

1453
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:44,040
Speaker 2: Nice? What do you want to be when you grow

1454
01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:44,920
Speaker 2: up the firefighter?

1455
01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:45,760
Speaker 8: Yes?

1456
01:05:46,040 --> 01:05:47,320
Speaker 2: What do you say to that it's appealing to you

1457
01:05:47,320 --> 01:05:48,440
Speaker 2: about the firefighter life?

1458
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:53,680
Speaker 8: Well, for one, it's not as high stress as do

1459
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:55,160
Speaker 8: you think You're not always going to go into a

1460
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:58,160
Speaker 8: burning building. But I like the aspect that it's kind

1461
01:05:58,160 --> 01:06:00,040
Speaker 8: of like military because you have a brotherhood with you

1462
01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:04,200
Speaker 8: without actually doing, you know, questionable stuff like the military.

1463
01:06:04,320 --> 01:06:07,480
Speaker 8: You're just saving people, helping them out and maybe someone's

1464
01:06:07,520 --> 01:06:10,480
Speaker 8: like having a panic attack, someone who needs medical help,

1465
01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:12,000
Speaker 8: or just someone in a burning building. That's a lot

1466
01:06:12,080 --> 01:06:16,000
Speaker 8: better than like going overseas and doing some crazy stuff.

1467
01:06:17,120 --> 01:06:17,920
Speaker 8: I'd rather do that.

1468
01:06:20,880 --> 01:06:22,840
Speaker 2: Who is this person that keeps talking to This is

1469
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:23,240
Speaker 2: your friend?

1470
01:06:23,800 --> 01:06:27,360
Speaker 8: This is my close friend. I met him, he goes

1471
01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:29,480
Speaker 8: by him. I met him in June and we have

1472
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:31,880
Speaker 8: been hanging out constantly ever since.

1473
01:06:32,520 --> 01:06:33,000
Speaker 2: You guys meet.

1474
01:06:34,040 --> 01:06:36,760
Speaker 8: It was a friend thing. So basically the whole day

1475
01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:39,920
Speaker 8: we had people rotating in and out. I had taken

1476
01:06:39,920 --> 01:06:42,960
Speaker 8: like a little faery thing around the city, and I

1477
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,680
Speaker 8: took a trip to Brooklyn with my friends and we're

1478
01:06:45,720 --> 01:06:48,760
Speaker 8: eating at the restaurant. He shows up, and the whole

1479
01:06:48,760 --> 01:06:51,040
Speaker 8: time I'm thinking I'm gonna meet this person one time

1480
01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:55,760
Speaker 8: in my life and now he's one of my close friends.

1481
01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:57,160
Speaker 8: I don't know how it happened.

1482
01:06:58,320 --> 01:07:00,000
Speaker 2: What do you do? Like, do you have any hobbies?

1483
01:07:00,040 --> 01:07:00,120
Speaker 6: Yes?

1484
01:07:00,800 --> 01:07:02,000
Speaker 8: Uh, working out?

1485
01:07:02,040 --> 01:07:02,520
Speaker 2: I like to.

1486
01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:08,520
Speaker 8: Honestly, I love walking just everywhere too, everywhere.

1487
01:07:08,520 --> 01:07:10,120
Speaker 2: That's my favorite thing about New York because you can

1488
01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:12,200
Speaker 2: just walk everywhere. It's fucking sick.

1489
01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:14,120
Speaker 8: It's really stimulating.

1490
01:07:14,320 --> 01:07:19,280
Speaker 2: You go to the gym, you said, what do you bench? Oh? Sick,

1491
01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:20,640
Speaker 2: That's that's awesome.

1492
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:23,600
Speaker 8: It's nice. My friend he keeps passing me because he's like,

1493
01:07:24,240 --> 01:07:26,200
Speaker 8: if you keep going more, you can do more than that.

1494
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:27,800
Speaker 8: And I'm just like, I already hit two twenty five.

1495
01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:29,080
Speaker 8: This is why I clock out.

1496
01:07:29,120 --> 01:07:29,960
Speaker 2: What squat?

1497
01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:34,200
Speaker 8: I do? Not squat? I do hot squat. Yeah. It's

1498
01:07:34,240 --> 01:07:35,360
Speaker 8: annoying though, because like.

1499
01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:37,040
Speaker 2: Do you do you?

1500
01:07:37,080 --> 01:07:37,480
Speaker 8: What are you?

1501
01:07:37,560 --> 01:07:38,720
Speaker 2: What's your overhead press?

1502
01:07:39,160 --> 01:07:41,760
Speaker 8: I don't overhead pros, but you just bench.

1503
01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:45,480
Speaker 1: For shoulders? Been talking about overhead Like I just do

1504
01:07:45,600 --> 01:07:49,160
Speaker 1: cable stuff. Oh okay, yeah that's cool. Where do you

1505
01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:49,960
Speaker 1: go to the gym?

1506
01:07:50,120 --> 01:07:50,240
Speaker 5: Uh?

1507
01:07:50,320 --> 01:07:52,720
Speaker 8: This is gym called retro fitness, Like not too far

1508
01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:54,800
Speaker 8: from my house, sick, that's where I go.

1509
01:07:55,720 --> 01:07:57,320
Speaker 2: Is it a nice gym?

1510
01:07:58,080 --> 01:08:01,840
Speaker 8: Oh, it gives the job done. Like, yeah, I won't

1511
01:08:01,840 --> 01:08:03,880
Speaker 8: complain about the conditions if I can get big.

1512
01:08:04,240 --> 01:08:06,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, dude, I don't know this.

1513
01:08:06,520 --> 01:08:08,000
Speaker 1: You can get you can like get a pretty damn

1514
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:11,720
Speaker 1: good workout, uh, just like around the house, like if

1515
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:15,920
Speaker 1: like I sometimes like if I don't have like equipment,

1516
01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:19,280
Speaker 1: I'll just curl a chair, you know, like grab a

1517
01:08:19,360 --> 01:08:21,479
Speaker 1: chair by like the legs.

1518
01:08:21,520 --> 01:08:23,479
Speaker 8: You know, you can just get it hit right now,

1519
01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:25,519
Speaker 8: do calisent X.

1520
01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:28,240
Speaker 1: But thanks to push I want to push up seething.

1521
01:08:28,280 --> 01:08:32,160
Speaker 1: You can do I want to say twenty twenty twenty

1522
01:08:32,200 --> 01:08:32,679
Speaker 1: clean ones.

1523
01:08:32,720 --> 01:08:33,160
Speaker 8: I'll say that.

1524
01:08:33,520 --> 01:08:38,120
Speaker 1: Okay, that's pretty good, like twenty right now, right now

1525
01:08:38,120 --> 01:08:40,680
Speaker 1: in front of you. No, no, no, no, wait, what do

1526
01:08:40,760 --> 01:08:42,640
Speaker 1: I mean? No, No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean right now.

1527
01:08:42,680 --> 01:08:46,360
Speaker 1: What I meant was that was me subliminally being like,

1528
01:08:46,439 --> 01:08:48,639
Speaker 1: I want to I want to see you do push ups,

1529
01:08:48,640 --> 01:08:50,680
Speaker 1: but I'm not gonna do that because this is an

1530
01:08:50,760 --> 01:08:53,880
Speaker 1: audio podcast, and I think us doing a push up

1531
01:08:53,920 --> 01:08:56,200
Speaker 1: contest it would look funny for the video, but it

1532
01:08:56,240 --> 01:08:58,719
Speaker 1: would be it wouldn't make a lot of sense.

1533
01:08:58,600 --> 01:08:59,840
Speaker 2: Oka for the audio.

1534
01:09:00,479 --> 01:09:00,920
Speaker 8: That's wrong.

1535
01:09:01,960 --> 01:09:07,120
Speaker 1: We could do one, all right, Yeah, we'll do one Okay, Brandon,

1536
01:09:07,160 --> 01:09:10,000
Speaker 1: we're gonna cut this. Well, you can leave this part

1537
01:09:10,040 --> 01:09:13,599
Speaker 1: in me telling it. Brandon, who edits this podcast, shout

1538
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:16,160
Speaker 1: at to Brandon. We'll leave this in, but Brandon will

1539
01:09:16,200 --> 01:09:19,360
Speaker 1: cut out from the video. From the audio version of this,

1540
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:22,840
Speaker 1: We're gonna cut out the push up contest, but in

1541
01:09:22,840 --> 01:09:24,960
Speaker 1: the video version, will keep it in. But also this

1542
01:09:25,040 --> 01:09:27,920
Speaker 1: speech mentioning that we're gonna cut it out of the

1543
01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:29,960
Speaker 1: of the audio version, but keep it in the video version.

1544
01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:30,920
Speaker 2: We'll keep that in.

1545
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:31,760
Speaker 8: Well do all right?

1546
01:09:31,960 --> 01:09:33,479
Speaker 2: Okay, so yeah, let's do you want to do some

1547
01:09:33,479 --> 01:09:35,960
Speaker 2: push ups together? Yeah? Okay, all right, I see how

1548
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:38,559
Speaker 2: many we can do. How made you get.

1549
01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:40,240
Speaker 8: Who said thirty five?

1550
01:09:40,400 --> 01:09:43,640
Speaker 2: I think thirty five? Okay, I got twenty five, so

1551
01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:46,439
Speaker 2: you win gigs. That's pretty good.

1552
01:09:46,960 --> 01:09:49,000
Speaker 1: Oh thanks, that was I felt like that was pretty

1553
01:09:49,120 --> 01:09:51,240
Speaker 1: My max that I've ever done in the world was

1554
01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:54,920
Speaker 1: thirty but I can only do twenty five.

1555
01:09:55,040 --> 01:09:56,000
Speaker 2: I feel good about that.

1556
01:09:56,320 --> 01:09:56,720
Speaker 6: How do you do?

1557
01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:58,800
Speaker 2: You feel good? Isn't that a good?

1558
01:09:58,840 --> 01:09:58,960
Speaker 5: Well?

1559
01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:00,960
Speaker 2: You just did a whole long con say about dopamine.

1560
01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:04,400
Speaker 2: I got it. It's really nice. It feels good to

1561
01:10:04,479 --> 01:10:05,160
Speaker 2: do push ups.

1562
01:10:05,720 --> 01:10:06,760
Speaker 8: I'm coming off the high.

1563
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:07,240
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1564
01:10:08,280 --> 01:10:10,920
Speaker 1: Oh man, Okay, what do you uh, what do you

1565
01:10:10,960 --> 01:10:12,400
Speaker 1: want to say to the people now that you like

1566
01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:15,280
Speaker 1: now that you feel good from doing from they feel

1567
01:10:15,360 --> 01:10:16,160
Speaker 1: high from push ups?

1568
01:10:18,200 --> 01:10:20,680
Speaker 2: Huh oh wait wait wait what do you what do

1569
01:10:20,720 --> 01:10:21,880
Speaker 2: you what do you want to say to the people?

1570
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:26,000
Speaker 8: Uh? You should talk to your friends more. They're really

1571
01:10:26,080 --> 01:10:28,920
Speaker 8: nice people. That's included.

1572
01:10:30,080 --> 01:10:32,320
Speaker 2: What's your name again, man, Cameron? Cameron?

1573
01:10:34,400 --> 01:10:36,200
Speaker 1: I go? Oh wait, I guess I already did the

1574
01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:37,960
Speaker 1: what do you want to? But do you have any

1575
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:39,439
Speaker 1: final things you want to say to the people the

1576
01:10:39,479 --> 01:10:40,240
Speaker 1: computer before we go?

1577
01:10:42,439 --> 01:10:44,840
Speaker 8: Don't shut yourself off. Always talk to your friends when

1578
01:10:44,880 --> 01:10:45,519
Speaker 8: you get the chance.

1579
01:10:46,120 --> 01:10:50,720
Speaker 1: Please please, Cameron, thank you very much for talking to

1580
01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:56,640
Speaker 1: a g echo. I feel like I could have done more. No,

1581
01:10:56,720 --> 01:10:57,960
Speaker 1: I couldn't have. Twenty five was good.

1582
01:10:58,360 --> 01:11:00,800
Speaker 2: Hello. What's your name? Sir?

1583
01:11:01,240 --> 01:11:01,639
Speaker 6: Saren?

1584
01:11:01,920 --> 01:11:04,880
Speaker 2: Saraed? Yeah, Sared?

1585
01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:09,200
Speaker 1: What's up? Sarad has life? It's it's okay, Sarah, your favorite?

1586
01:11:09,240 --> 01:11:12,960
Speaker 2: Just hold the mic up? Yeah, sorry, Sarah, Sarad, Sarad?

1587
01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:13,800
Speaker 2: What's sar?

1588
01:11:14,240 --> 01:11:14,639
Speaker 6: Saren?

1589
01:11:15,439 --> 01:11:17,719
Speaker 2: Sorry? One more time? Saren?

1590
01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:18,960
Speaker 1: S e r.

1591
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:23,600
Speaker 2: Oh, Saren? Okay like Saren dipity yeah, there we go,

1592
01:11:23,640 --> 01:11:26,960
Speaker 2: all right, Saren? What's up? Sarah, Saren, have you been

1593
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:29,160
Speaker 2: how long have you been hanging out here for watching

1594
01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:29,799
Speaker 2: the scrap?

1595
01:11:30,160 --> 01:11:30,280
Speaker 1: Oh?

1596
01:11:30,439 --> 01:11:32,360
Speaker 6: Well we were here saying setup if that's what you means.

1597
01:11:32,400 --> 01:11:36,080
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, cool, all right, So bring us home, Saren.

1598
01:11:36,120 --> 01:11:36,720
Speaker 2: What do we learn?

1599
01:11:38,280 --> 01:11:39,120
Speaker 4: Oh? Well, not gonna lie.

1600
01:11:39,160 --> 01:11:40,960
Speaker 6: Has been kind of hard to hear you oldest music,

1601
01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:43,920
Speaker 6: oldest people. It's very overstimulating. I've noticed you got the

1602
01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:45,879
Speaker 6: social worker not thing going.

1603
01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:48,880
Speaker 2: On, social worker nod thing? Oh what's the social worker

1604
01:11:48,960 --> 01:11:49,400
Speaker 2: nod thing?

1605
01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:51,080
Speaker 4: Like the what you call it?

1606
01:11:51,120 --> 01:11:53,559
Speaker 6: The affirmative active listening.

1607
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:56,679
Speaker 2: Yes, I do have an annoying active listening nod.

1608
01:11:58,160 --> 01:12:02,799
Speaker 1: There was some re on Instagram that was like, pov

1609
01:12:02,960 --> 01:12:05,360
Speaker 1: your friend is an active listener and it was like

1610
01:12:06,040 --> 01:12:09,640
Speaker 1: a clearly like very like annoyingly active listener person. And

1611
01:12:09,800 --> 01:12:12,320
Speaker 1: my friend sent it in like our group chat and

1612
01:12:12,439 --> 01:12:15,040
Speaker 1: it was like lyle when he goes therapy Gecko mode

1613
01:12:15,080 --> 01:12:17,120
Speaker 1: on you, and I was like, damn.

1614
01:12:16,920 --> 01:12:17,360
Speaker 2: That sucks.

1615
01:12:17,600 --> 01:12:18,960
Speaker 6: Do you have a social work background?

1616
01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:20,680
Speaker 2: No, no, Dad, I don't have.

1617
01:12:20,680 --> 01:12:24,599
Speaker 1: A social work background. I'm just I'm just curious about

1618
01:12:24,800 --> 01:12:26,639
Speaker 1: the world and shit makes sense.

1619
01:12:26,760 --> 01:12:28,080
Speaker 2: Na Ya, So who are you?

1620
01:12:28,840 --> 01:12:30,479
Speaker 6: That's a great question. I've been trying to figure that

1621
01:12:30,520 --> 01:12:32,920
Speaker 6: out because I've been asking my entire life. So I'm

1622
01:12:32,960 --> 01:12:36,040
Speaker 6: slowly trying to like bring myself to like actualize who

1623
01:12:36,120 --> 01:12:37,600
Speaker 6: I am, what I like, what I want to do

1624
01:12:37,720 --> 01:12:39,639
Speaker 6: with my life, all these different things.

1625
01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:41,720
Speaker 2: What's the process of figuring that out?

1626
01:12:42,120 --> 01:12:45,240
Speaker 6: Well, we haven't started it yet, not totality.

1627
01:12:44,920 --> 01:12:46,040
Speaker 2: Okay, but he was thinking about it.

1628
01:12:46,240 --> 01:12:46,280
Speaker 5: No.

1629
01:12:46,439 --> 01:12:48,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, the only reason I haven't started it is because

1630
01:12:48,200 --> 01:12:50,000
Speaker 6: I'm still in school. Like, what's I'm done with school though,

1631
01:12:50,040 --> 01:12:53,080
Speaker 6: then we can start to like completely deconstruct my routine

1632
01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:56,000
Speaker 6: that I have that's keeping everything in place. Sure, that's

1633
01:12:56,080 --> 01:12:57,840
Speaker 6: just how I see it, because my routine is what's

1634
01:12:57,920 --> 01:13:01,200
Speaker 6: keeping me stable. Yeah, and what's there's No, you don't

1635
01:13:01,240 --> 01:13:05,080
Speaker 6: want to uh yeah, nine until I'm done with school.

1636
01:13:05,200 --> 01:13:06,519
Speaker 2: Okay, when you done with school?

1637
01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:09,120
Speaker 6: Uh? Next it should be next, Joan, honestly.

1638
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:11,679
Speaker 1: Next one June next year. Okay, so you've got about

1639
01:13:11,720 --> 01:13:14,160
Speaker 1: a year before you have to deconstruct yourself. Yeah that's

1640
01:13:14,240 --> 01:13:17,200
Speaker 1: pretty good. Yeah, that's enjoy this year. Once you start

1641
01:13:17,240 --> 01:13:20,439
Speaker 1: deconstructing yourself, it's uh, I don't know. It's it's like

1642
01:13:20,520 --> 01:13:24,120
Speaker 1: opening a bunch of Pokemon cards. You might get fucking

1643
01:13:24,240 --> 01:13:25,599
Speaker 1: groud on. You might get a douce.

1644
01:13:26,920 --> 01:13:30,479
Speaker 6: Okay, I mean I don't know those characters, so well.

1645
01:13:30,479 --> 01:13:34,360
Speaker 2: That's okay, it's Jen three, I think. But anyway, what

1646
01:13:34,520 --> 01:13:35,240
Speaker 2: do you go to school for.

1647
01:13:35,600 --> 01:13:36,599
Speaker 6: I'm in social work school.

1648
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:39,160
Speaker 2: Actually, oh you are okay, cool, very cool. Okay, so

1649
01:13:39,280 --> 01:13:40,720
Speaker 2: you also have a social work nod?

1650
01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:41,240
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1651
01:13:41,800 --> 01:13:44,360
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I'm gonna start taking more pride in my

1652
01:13:44,560 --> 01:13:46,599
Speaker 2: uh in my work nod.

1653
01:13:48,360 --> 01:13:48,400
Speaker 5: No.

1654
01:13:48,600 --> 01:13:51,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean it's fun. I love my classmates. Some

1655
01:13:51,520 --> 01:13:54,519
Speaker 6: of the teachers are very interesting. It's great, it's very nice.

1656
01:13:55,439 --> 01:13:57,320
Speaker 6: Would I recommend going through it this young?

1657
01:13:57,560 --> 01:13:57,600
Speaker 3: No?

1658
01:13:59,240 --> 01:14:02,559
Speaker 6: Oh, because I'm so like my classmates are anywhere from

1659
01:14:02,600 --> 01:14:04,840
Speaker 6: like twenty five and up. Most of them are twenty

1660
01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:06,479
Speaker 6: five and up. Some of them are closer to my age.

1661
01:14:06,800 --> 01:14:11,640
Speaker 6: But it's I feel very uh separated from everybody because of.

1662
01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:13,439
Speaker 2: It, because of the age gap.

1663
01:14:13,920 --> 01:14:15,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, because of the age gap. And they have a

1664
01:14:15,439 --> 01:14:17,600
Speaker 6: lot more life experience and stuff, like I grew up

1665
01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:21,360
Speaker 6: very sheltered and shit, So like it makes sense. I'm

1666
01:14:21,479 --> 01:14:23,320
Speaker 6: like just trying to go into it and like figure

1667
01:14:23,320 --> 01:14:25,400
Speaker 6: it out, get it done, get it over with, you know.

1668
01:14:26,160 --> 01:14:32,000
Speaker 2: M yeah, hmmmmmmmm mm hmm. What's the ultimate goal? Is

1669
01:14:32,040 --> 01:14:32,759
Speaker 2: it to be a therapist?

1670
01:14:33,360 --> 01:14:33,599
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1671
01:14:34,120 --> 01:14:36,479
Speaker 2: That could be cool. Yeah, that could be cool. Do

1672
01:14:36,600 --> 01:14:37,400
Speaker 2: you have a therapist?

1673
01:14:38,040 --> 01:14:39,000
Speaker 6: I do currently, Yes.

1674
01:14:39,479 --> 01:14:41,040
Speaker 2: What do you like about your current therapists that you

1675
01:14:41,120 --> 01:14:42,000
Speaker 2: want to take into you?

1676
01:14:42,240 --> 01:14:44,120
Speaker 6: I'm looking for a new therapist, a new therapist.

1677
01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:45,240
Speaker 2: Oh wait, I'm sorry, is that what you said?

1678
01:14:45,640 --> 01:14:45,680
Speaker 5: No?

1679
01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:47,800
Speaker 1: Okay, Oh you're looking at a new therapist. Yeah, okay,

1680
01:14:47,880 --> 01:14:50,600
Speaker 1: Why or why do you not like the therapist you have?

1681
01:14:51,640 --> 01:14:52,680
Speaker 4: I feel like the.

1682
01:14:54,360 --> 01:14:57,120
Speaker 6: Well, unfortunately, because she's white and I'm black, there's this

1683
01:14:58,000 --> 01:14:59,760
Speaker 6: what is it called? She doesn't have the level of

1684
01:14:59,840 --> 01:15:01,679
Speaker 6: cold tru a competency. I feel like she should.

1685
01:15:02,080 --> 01:15:03,600
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, Yeah, so like.

1686
01:15:05,160 --> 01:15:08,640
Speaker 6: Percent all of my experiences are completely surrounded because like

1687
01:15:08,920 --> 01:15:12,120
Speaker 6: by being black. Yeah, I'm black, I'm queer, like all

1688
01:15:12,160 --> 01:15:15,720
Speaker 6: these different things. I'm autistic. Like that's how my view

1689
01:15:15,760 --> 01:15:18,040
Speaker 6: of the world is. She can't really understand that because

1690
01:15:18,040 --> 01:15:21,080
Speaker 6: it's mostly informed. It's because of how people see me. Now,

1691
01:15:21,160 --> 01:15:22,920
Speaker 6: I'm perceived. I'm always perceived as a threat.

1692
01:15:23,280 --> 01:15:26,840
Speaker 1: See, I've always wondered, like in my own therapy search,

1693
01:15:26,880 --> 01:15:29,760
Speaker 1: I'm like, do I want somebody who like, do I

1694
01:15:29,840 --> 01:15:32,719
Speaker 1: want another white guy? Or do I want somebody who's

1695
01:15:32,840 --> 01:15:37,040
Speaker 1: very different from me that can like have a different perspective.

1696
01:15:38,040 --> 01:15:39,840
Speaker 6: That's all up to you. I just know that, like,

1697
01:15:40,120 --> 01:15:43,000
Speaker 6: I would rather have somebody black and queer.

1698
01:15:43,280 --> 01:15:45,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, Now have you had a black therapist before?

1699
01:15:45,680 --> 01:15:47,560
Speaker 6: I've had a black therapist absolutely, and now I have

1700
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:50,360
Speaker 6: a queer therapist. So I'm like, maybe a mix of

1701
01:15:50,360 --> 01:15:52,280
Speaker 6: the two would be very nice because I'm also black

1702
01:15:52,320 --> 01:15:52,679
Speaker 6: and queer.

1703
01:15:52,800 --> 01:15:55,920
Speaker 1: So yeah, so uh uh, because I think you can

1704
01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:57,840
Speaker 1: do that, right. You can go on the psychology today

1705
01:15:57,880 --> 01:15:59,640
Speaker 1: and like, yeah, hit the checkboxes.

1706
01:16:00,040 --> 01:16:02,120
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, yeah, I've done stuff like that. But like

1707
01:16:02,280 --> 01:16:06,240
Speaker 6: the stuff that I'm looking for is highly specific, okay,

1708
01:16:06,760 --> 01:16:09,880
Speaker 6: like trauma informed and like ADHD and like PTSD, all

1709
01:16:09,920 --> 01:16:13,840
Speaker 6: these different things, and therefore it very much limits. And

1710
01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:15,920
Speaker 6: then those people that have those things are not black.

1711
01:16:16,080 --> 01:16:20,040
Speaker 1: So yeah, okay, wait, but like trauma informed or like

1712
01:16:20,160 --> 01:16:21,960
Speaker 1: has had trauma trauma informed?

1713
01:16:22,240 --> 01:16:24,080
Speaker 6: So like how to deal with that, how to process it,

1714
01:16:24,200 --> 01:16:25,519
Speaker 6: how to sit with your emotions?

1715
01:16:25,560 --> 01:16:28,480
Speaker 1: Do you trying to find a black queer trauma informs

1716
01:16:29,560 --> 01:16:30,400
Speaker 1: yeah therapists?

1717
01:16:30,560 --> 01:16:30,760
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1718
01:16:31,920 --> 01:16:33,719
Speaker 2: Is that is that that hard like to find?

1719
01:16:34,560 --> 01:16:35,800
Speaker 6: I mean shockingly yes?

1720
01:16:36,080 --> 01:16:39,400
Speaker 2: Okay, I guess it's good that you're trying to become one.

1721
01:16:39,560 --> 01:16:42,120
Speaker 6: No, yeah, yeah, I feel I literally did my grad essay,

1722
01:16:42,200 --> 01:16:43,880
Speaker 6: like my interests essay for this, I did it about

1723
01:16:43,920 --> 01:16:46,679
Speaker 6: like representation and the lack of representation in the field

1724
01:16:46,760 --> 01:16:50,200
Speaker 6: and stuff because only what I think, less than fifteen

1725
01:16:50,280 --> 01:16:53,200
Speaker 6: percent a therapists are black and then less than four

1726
01:16:53,240 --> 01:16:55,840
Speaker 6: percent are queer, and there's no overlap in those two

1727
01:16:55,920 --> 01:16:57,519
Speaker 6: right now, I didn't do the overlap. I didn't look

1728
01:16:57,520 --> 01:16:59,960
Speaker 6: it up, so I'm assuming it's a lot smaller.

1729
01:17:00,479 --> 01:17:04,400
Speaker 1: What kinds of things are you learning in psychology social

1730
01:17:04,400 --> 01:17:04,840
Speaker 1: work school?

1731
01:17:05,000 --> 01:17:05,160
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1732
01:17:06,160 --> 01:17:07,679
Speaker 6: Well, what do you mean because we have different types

1733
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:08,200
Speaker 6: of classes?

1734
01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:09,920
Speaker 2: Do you go to school today?

1735
01:17:10,760 --> 01:17:11,040
Speaker 4: School?

1736
01:17:11,520 --> 01:17:12,639
Speaker 6: Let me know we're on breaks though?

1737
01:17:12,920 --> 01:17:15,519
Speaker 2: Oh wait, well it's Saturday. Are you on break pace

1738
01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:16,800
Speaker 2: it's Saturday? Or are you on bak business of the

1739
01:17:16,800 --> 01:17:19,479
Speaker 2: summer summer? What was the last thing was? What was

1740
01:17:19,520 --> 01:17:22,519
Speaker 2: your biggest takeaway from last semester?

1741
01:17:23,840 --> 01:17:24,240
Speaker 3: Honestly?

1742
01:17:24,320 --> 01:17:26,400
Speaker 6: How does that boundaries with people who try to take

1743
01:17:26,400 --> 01:17:30,400
Speaker 6: advantage of free labor? Oh, because we have our internship

1744
01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:33,840
Speaker 6: so like, for instance, I was in a school and

1745
01:17:34,000 --> 01:17:36,320
Speaker 6: so because I was working with the guidance office and

1746
01:17:37,320 --> 01:17:40,799
Speaker 6: I was basically I'm sorry, this is so much my school.

1747
01:17:40,880 --> 01:17:44,080
Speaker 6: The social work school placed me at an agency, and

1748
01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:47,000
Speaker 6: that agency placed me out of high school to do

1749
01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:49,880
Speaker 6: social work, yeah, to like help the kids, the students

1750
01:17:49,920 --> 01:17:52,560
Speaker 6: and whatnot, which I loved. I loved being there, but

1751
01:17:52,680 --> 01:17:54,679
Speaker 6: there was just so many people involved in me trying

1752
01:17:54,720 --> 01:17:56,560
Speaker 6: to do regular stuff like call out. I was just like,

1753
01:17:56,640 --> 01:17:59,240
Speaker 6: I can't do this. And then they wanted us to

1754
01:17:59,280 --> 01:18:01,240
Speaker 6: stay in so the end of ne but that was

1755
01:18:01,280 --> 01:18:03,320
Speaker 6: what the school wanted. My school said, no, you can

1756
01:18:03,400 --> 01:18:05,560
Speaker 6: only stay until like you've done your four hundred and

1757
01:18:05,600 --> 01:18:08,000
Speaker 6: fifty hours because after that you don't have like the

1758
01:18:08,040 --> 01:18:10,920
Speaker 6: school's not liable for anything that happens. So now it's

1759
01:18:10,920 --> 01:18:12,439
Speaker 6: a back and forth between them and I'm in the

1760
01:18:12,479 --> 01:18:14,400
Speaker 6: middle of it, just trying to help my students. My

1761
01:18:14,560 --> 01:18:16,040
Speaker 6: mental health is a wreck. How can I help them

1762
01:18:16,080 --> 01:18:18,280
Speaker 6: if I can't help myself. That doesn't make any sense.

1763
01:18:18,280 --> 01:18:20,160
Speaker 6: And I'm not gonna be any benefits to my students

1764
01:18:20,640 --> 01:18:22,559
Speaker 6: if I can't figure out what I need.

1765
01:18:22,680 --> 01:18:23,240
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course.

1766
01:18:23,320 --> 01:18:23,360
Speaker 8: No.

1767
01:18:23,479 --> 01:18:26,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you if you're showing up less than your

1768
01:18:26,439 --> 01:18:29,120
Speaker 1: full self, yeah yeah, You're not gonna be a benefit exactly.

1769
01:18:29,160 --> 01:18:31,000
Speaker 6: And I didn't want to like put that all my

1770
01:18:31,160 --> 01:18:33,439
Speaker 6: kids because I know how they are or worry rather

1771
01:18:34,320 --> 01:18:36,240
Speaker 6: and like I love seeing them growing all that, but

1772
01:18:36,800 --> 01:18:39,920
Speaker 6: I had to make sure they understood that, like, it's

1773
01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:41,880
Speaker 6: just a lot of stuff going on, and specifically because

1774
01:18:41,880 --> 01:18:44,080
Speaker 6: they had their own stuff going on. You don't always

1775
01:18:44,080 --> 01:18:45,160
Speaker 6: have to just sit there and take it.

1776
01:18:45,479 --> 01:18:46,280
Speaker 2: Sure, Yeah, you.

1777
01:18:46,280 --> 01:18:48,920
Speaker 6: Can actually say something and like say what you got

1778
01:18:49,000 --> 01:18:51,240
Speaker 6: to say, do what you got to do respectfully. There's

1779
01:18:51,280 --> 01:18:53,160
Speaker 6: a position of authority and all that.

1780
01:18:53,680 --> 01:18:59,960
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm trying to think of any any other

1781
01:19:00,240 --> 01:19:03,000
Speaker 1: any other questions. Okay, So yes, so you you back

1782
01:19:03,080 --> 01:19:09,439
Speaker 1: to saying that in a year you're going to deconstruct yourself.

1783
01:19:09,720 --> 01:19:10,600
Speaker 6: Yes, what is that?

1784
01:19:11,120 --> 01:19:13,320
Speaker 2: What's the first step of deconstructing yourself?

1785
01:19:13,720 --> 01:19:16,360
Speaker 6: Honestly, just getting rid of like this. I've been a

1786
01:19:16,360 --> 01:19:18,479
Speaker 6: school minds Higher Life on twenty two, then a school

1787
01:19:18,520 --> 01:19:20,880
Speaker 6: mind High Life went straight through. So what to do

1788
01:19:21,000 --> 01:19:23,000
Speaker 6: without the school being there?

1789
01:19:23,160 --> 01:19:23,360
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1790
01:19:23,439 --> 01:19:24,920
Speaker 1: Once the struct Oh yeah, I mean, oh, that's a

1791
01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:28,160
Speaker 1: perfect time to deconstruct yourself because once structure, I mean

1792
01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:34,240
Speaker 1: that literally is what you're doing. Once the structure is deed. Yeah, externally,

1793
01:19:35,040 --> 01:19:37,960
Speaker 1: you can d the structure. Internal it's just spooky, but

1794
01:19:38,960 --> 01:19:41,840
Speaker 1: yeah interesting, yeah, kind of like your own version of

1795
01:19:41,880 --> 01:19:42,320
Speaker 1: ego death.

1796
01:19:42,680 --> 01:19:45,160
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, pretty much. I think it'd be really cool.

1797
01:19:45,400 --> 01:19:48,519
Speaker 2: Saren. Yeah, Sarah's Le's talking to you.

1798
01:19:48,800 --> 01:19:49,040
Speaker 4: Thank you.

1799
01:19:49,120 --> 01:19:51,000
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think if I have any because I

1800
01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:55,880
Speaker 1: was talking to Cameron about non therapy e things. Okay,

1801
01:19:55,920 --> 01:19:58,200
Speaker 1: so wait, so Cameron's you're homie right, yeah, and he

1802
01:19:58,280 --> 01:20:00,439
Speaker 1: said that the night is just getting started and I

1803
01:20:00,520 --> 01:20:01,920
Speaker 1: asked him how. I was like, what does that mean?

1804
01:20:02,000 --> 01:20:03,479
Speaker 1: And he he didn't really have an answer. What what

1805
01:20:03,600 --> 01:20:05,280
Speaker 1: do you are you guys about to go do something crazy?

1806
01:20:05,520 --> 01:20:08,599
Speaker 6: Honestly, we could we could figure it out, honestly, because

1807
01:20:09,160 --> 01:20:10,920
Speaker 6: I don't know. We've been hanging out a lot, so

1808
01:20:11,280 --> 01:20:13,000
Speaker 6: we usually get into like stupid shit.

1809
01:20:13,000 --> 01:20:13,880
Speaker 2: What kind of stupid shit?

1810
01:20:14,640 --> 01:20:18,280
Speaker 6: Honestly, we're what was it Coney Island we went to

1811
01:20:18,439 --> 01:20:18,840
Speaker 6: and stuff?

1812
01:20:19,640 --> 01:20:22,479
Speaker 2: And we yeah, to Coney Island. It's that's fun.

1813
01:20:22,600 --> 01:20:24,320
Speaker 6: No, it is fun, but like being out there at

1814
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:25,840
Speaker 6: night and stuff is not the best.

1815
01:20:26,240 --> 01:20:28,240
Speaker 2: Idea being out of Coney Island at night.

1816
01:20:28,520 --> 01:20:31,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, Like recently, like it was his birthday and stuff,

1817
01:20:31,160 --> 01:20:33,320
Speaker 6: and we went out. I planned this whole thing and

1818
01:20:33,400 --> 01:20:35,720
Speaker 6: it was fun. It was nice, but like we were

1819
01:20:35,720 --> 01:20:37,400
Speaker 6: out here at like one two in the morning, just

1820
01:20:37,439 --> 01:20:38,599
Speaker 6: taking photos and stuff.

1821
01:20:38,680 --> 01:20:40,040
Speaker 2: It was just that sounds fun.

1822
01:20:40,120 --> 01:20:43,360
Speaker 6: It is fun, but it's not always the safest.

1823
01:20:43,760 --> 01:20:45,479
Speaker 2: Have you gotten in any issues?

1824
01:20:46,120 --> 01:20:48,120
Speaker 6: Well no, right now we're both sober, thank god.

1825
01:20:48,160 --> 01:20:50,720
Speaker 2: But like, okay, cool, this is great. Cool. Well, it

1826
01:20:50,760 --> 01:20:52,360
Speaker 2: sounds like you guys got a fun night ahead of you.

1827
01:20:52,760 --> 01:20:54,320
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, we'll just see what we get into.

1828
01:20:54,479 --> 01:20:58,280
Speaker 1: Keeping on Cameron, he's a loose cannon. Actually, hey, listen, listen,

1829
01:20:58,320 --> 01:20:59,840
Speaker 1: this guy did thirty five plush ups. All right, if

1830
01:20:59,840 --> 01:21:02,639
Speaker 1: she go down, you know, I think you could take

1831
01:21:02,640 --> 01:21:03,000
Speaker 1: care of it.

1832
01:21:03,800 --> 01:21:07,320
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't know about that, but disrespect. You

1833
01:21:07,439 --> 01:21:09,000
Speaker 6: gotta be more aware of your surroundings.

1834
01:21:10,360 --> 01:21:12,200
Speaker 1: Saren, thank you very much for chatting with me. Is

1835
01:21:12,240 --> 01:21:13,400
Speaker 1: there anything else want to say to the people the

1836
01:21:13,400 --> 01:21:14,160
Speaker 1: computer before we go?

1837
01:21:15,000 --> 01:21:15,200
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1838
01:21:15,640 --> 01:21:20,639
Speaker 6: Respect, basic respect is given. Absolutely, Always respect people young

1839
01:21:20,680 --> 01:21:23,519
Speaker 6: and you people owed the uppahed absolutely the second they

1840
01:21:23,560 --> 01:21:26,040
Speaker 6: start to disrespect you, though, you don't gotta stand there

1841
01:21:26,040 --> 01:21:27,600
Speaker 6: and fucking take it. You don't gotta sit there and

1842
01:21:27,640 --> 01:21:29,680
Speaker 6: take it. You can leave. You don't gotta be in

1843
01:21:29,760 --> 01:21:31,599
Speaker 6: a situation that you don't want to be in. Okay,

1844
01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:34,679
Speaker 6: do what you want to do, do it safely, don't

1845
01:21:34,680 --> 01:21:37,799
Speaker 6: be too crazy out here. And if you are taking drugs,

1846
01:21:38,280 --> 01:21:42,040
Speaker 6: drinking anything like that, substance related test deal shit, Please

1847
01:21:42,280 --> 01:21:43,640
Speaker 6: test it. If you gonna do it, do it, but

1848
01:21:43,760 --> 01:21:46,920
Speaker 6: test it. Get clean supplies and all joe what you

1849
01:21:47,000 --> 01:21:48,120
Speaker 6: need to do and be safe out here.

1850
01:21:48,160 --> 01:21:52,160
Speaker 1: Okay, folks, this has been talking to a gecko at

1851
01:21:52,240 --> 01:21:54,400
Speaker 1: the park. This was a great I feel like again.

1852
01:21:54,560 --> 01:21:57,479
Speaker 1: If you're listening to this and you just woke up

1853
01:21:57,479 --> 01:22:01,160
Speaker 1: from an app at seven pm, eight pm nine the

1854
01:22:01,280 --> 01:22:02,280
Speaker 1: day can be saved.

1855
01:22:02,439 --> 01:22:05,479
Speaker 2: If this is This is a message to you, the folks.

1856
01:22:05,520 --> 01:22:07,000
Speaker 1: If you took an if you got too high, you

1857
01:22:07,120 --> 01:22:08,639
Speaker 1: ate too much ice cream, and you took a nap,

1858
01:22:08,880 --> 01:22:11,439
Speaker 1: and you believe that the day is over, you can

1859
01:22:11,560 --> 01:22:11,840
Speaker 1: save it.

1860
01:22:12,040 --> 01:22:15,120
Speaker 6: Can I say one? We're doing it is perfectly okay

1861
01:22:15,280 --> 01:22:18,040
Speaker 6: to start over whenever you need to. Like that doesn't

1862
01:22:18,080 --> 01:22:20,160
Speaker 6: matter what time of day it is, how old you are.

1863
01:22:20,640 --> 01:22:23,280
Speaker 6: Tomorrow is a new day. Do whatever the fuck you want.

1864
01:22:23,360 --> 01:22:23,559
Speaker 4: Shit.

1865
01:22:23,760 --> 01:22:25,720
Speaker 2: Orrow is a new day. Nine pm is a new hour.

1866
01:22:27,200 --> 01:22:29,559
Speaker 2: Nine o two pm is a new hour exactly.

1867
01:22:29,640 --> 01:22:31,040
Speaker 6: Don't got to be on the dit. You do what

1868
01:22:31,160 --> 01:22:32,640
Speaker 6: you need to do for you. You don't have to

1869
01:22:32,680 --> 01:22:36,360
Speaker 6: live by any anybody else's rules, anybody else's timeline. Do

1870
01:22:36,479 --> 01:22:37,439
Speaker 6: what you gotta do for you.

1871
01:22:39,280 --> 01:22:42,760
Speaker 1: I'm a gecko I'm signing off. Thank you guys very

1872
01:22:42,840 --> 01:22:46,719
Speaker 1: much for listening, and uh see you see you again

1873
01:22:47,439 --> 01:22:50,880
Speaker 1: very soon. Hello, folks, it's Lyle. This is the end

1874
01:22:50,960 --> 01:22:54,600
Speaker 1: of the episode. This is and I'm recording this not

1875
01:22:54,800 --> 01:22:57,920
Speaker 1: in the park. I'm recording this alone in my room

1876
01:22:58,120 --> 01:23:01,080
Speaker 1: on my phone, and I'm recording this to tell you

1877
01:23:01,200 --> 01:23:08,240
Speaker 1: all that if you want more IRL episodes, I am

1878
01:23:08,320 --> 01:23:14,960
Speaker 1: actually releasing a bonus episode today of IRL interviews that

1879
01:23:15,080 --> 01:23:19,120
Speaker 1: I did two years ago in Melbourne. I think that's

1880
01:23:19,120 --> 01:23:24,920
Speaker 1: how you pronounce it, Melbourne, Australia, on the streets of Melbourne, Australia.

1881
01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:27,839
Speaker 1: It's an IRL episode just like this one. I recorded

1882
01:23:27,880 --> 01:23:30,599
Speaker 1: it two years ago. It's been sitting on my hard drive.

1883
01:23:30,680 --> 01:23:33,240
Speaker 1: I never got around to do anything doing anything with it,

1884
01:23:33,720 --> 01:23:36,560
Speaker 1: but I am releasing it today as a bonus episode

1885
01:23:36,960 --> 01:23:42,479
Speaker 1: on therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. If you want

1886
01:23:42,520 --> 01:23:45,160
Speaker 1: to support the podcast and you want to get not

1887
01:23:45,439 --> 01:23:48,240
Speaker 1: just this bonus episode, but access to all the bonus

1888
01:23:48,320 --> 01:23:51,320
Speaker 1: episodes that I have done over the years, then you

1889
01:23:51,439 --> 01:23:54,960
Speaker 1: can go to therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com or

1890
01:23:55,080 --> 01:23:59,800
Speaker 1: check the link in the episode description to sign up

1891
01:24:00,040 --> 01:24:03,120
Speaker 1: and view it. And here right here, I'm gonna put

1892
01:24:03,160 --> 01:24:08,600
Speaker 1: We're gonna have a little clip from the interviews that

1893
01:24:08,720 --> 01:24:11,800
Speaker 1: I did in Melbourne, Australia. So here's her clip from

1894
01:24:11,800 --> 01:24:13,120
Speaker 1: this week's bonus episode.

1895
01:24:13,400 --> 01:24:14,200
Speaker 8: And she was telling me.

1896
01:24:14,280 --> 01:24:16,760
Speaker 1: She was like, I'm having trouble because I don't think

1897
01:24:16,760 --> 01:24:21,439
Speaker 1: there's any straight single men left in Sydney, so I

1898
01:24:21,439 --> 01:24:22,720
Speaker 1: don't know how I'm supposed to date.

1899
01:24:23,800 --> 01:24:24,760
Speaker 2: So it's funny to hear that.

1900
01:24:24,920 --> 01:24:28,320
Speaker 1: It's I thought she was just bullshitting, but it's funny

1901
01:24:28,360 --> 01:24:29,320
Speaker 1: to hear other people say that.

1902
01:24:29,560 --> 01:24:31,759
Speaker 8: Yeah, Sydney has big a history.

1903
01:24:31,920 --> 01:24:35,720
Speaker 2: They had like the first sort of pride movement in Australia.

1904
01:24:36,280 --> 01:24:39,400
Speaker 2: But their nightlife isn't isn't the same as it was?

1905
01:24:39,800 --> 01:24:40,720
Speaker 2: How's the nightlife here?

1906
01:24:41,520 --> 01:24:42,320
Speaker 4: Not bad? Yeah?

1907
01:24:42,439 --> 01:24:43,679
Speaker 2: Do you go fucking crazy?

1908
01:24:43,840 --> 01:24:45,320
Speaker 8: We go party, we go to raids.

1909
01:24:45,520 --> 01:24:46,040
Speaker 2: That's fun.

1910
01:24:46,240 --> 01:24:48,599
Speaker 8: Yeah you ever do you do crazy?

1911
01:24:48,720 --> 01:24:49,759
Speaker 2: Drugs? No comment?

1912
01:24:50,080 --> 01:24:52,680
Speaker 1: Once again, if you want to listen to that, if

1913
01:24:52,720 --> 01:24:54,560
Speaker 1: you want to support the podcast, if you want to

1914
01:24:54,600 --> 01:24:56,479
Speaker 1: get the rest of the bonus episodes that I've got

1915
01:24:56,520 --> 01:24:59,719
Speaker 1: on there, you can go to therapy Gecko dot super

1916
01:24:59,800 --> 01:25:02,879
Speaker 1: ca dot com or check the link in the episode

1917
01:25:02,920 --> 01:25:04,360
Speaker 1: description to sign up.

1918
01:25:04,680 --> 01:25:08,080
Speaker 2: Anyway, Uh, that's it. That's the end of the words

1919
01:25:08,120 --> 01:25:10,200
Speaker 2: that I have to say today.

1920
01:25:10,880 --> 01:25:13,720
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the pod gek bless you,

1921
01:25:14,000 --> 01:25:17,720
Speaker 1: Thanks for being here, Thanks for still listening. You haven't

1922
01:25:17,720 --> 01:25:20,960
Speaker 1: clicked off yet, You're still I'm still rambling. I'm just

1923
01:25:21,000 --> 01:25:24,479
Speaker 1: sitting in this rum, sitting in this chair and drinking

1924
01:25:24,880 --> 01:25:25,800
Speaker 1: a little bit of water.

1925
01:25:26,160 --> 01:25:26,719
Speaker 2: It's nice.

1926
01:25:27,320 --> 01:25:27,960
Speaker 8: Life is nice.

1927
01:25:28,000 --> 01:25:31,880
Speaker 2: Sometimes I complain too much. Life is really nice. Thank you,

1928
01:25:32,479 --> 01:25:34,320
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening. Bye bye,