Speaker 1: If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week
Speaker 1: was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
Speaker 1: old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
Speaker 1: in the Ghetto Cutter the same as the rich pill
Speaker 1: poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot takes
Speaker 1: break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Maller starts right now. That it does, and we are
Speaker 1: in the air everywhere the vast power of the I
Speaker 1: Heart Podcast Network available wherever you get your podcast. As
Speaker 1: you know, this is a spinoff of the Overnight Show
Speaker 1: because four hours are not enough, and this is a show.
Speaker 1: We can do things we're not allowed to do on
Speaker 1: the Overnight Show because we don't have the FCC breathing
Speaker 1: down our neck, and we can do interviews. Don't do
Speaker 1: interviews on the Overnight Show. We did have the Pizza
Speaker 1: Guy on this week, but that's an exception to the rule.
Speaker 1: So it's the fifth Hour and then we are joined.
Speaker 1: Eight day is a week now for Better or Worse
Speaker 1: by the man known as gag on David Gascon right
Speaker 1: over there. I feel like it's like the second coming
Speaker 1: of your wedding vows. Right for better or for worse
Speaker 1: sickness and in health told that do us part? Is
Speaker 1: that how you're kind of saying like a relationship, Like
Speaker 1: I I compliment you on the radio, right, it's not good?
Speaker 1: Crazy did send me a steak? So that was how
Speaker 1: good was that thing? Like that's you're just fishing for compliments.
Speaker 1: We get we get to do one good deed every year,
Speaker 1: and so that might be my good deed for very
Speaker 1: nice of you, sucked appreciate that this has been a
Speaker 1: wonderful year. I'm sure we'll all look back fondly at
Speaker 1: this and brag to future generations that we live through this,
Speaker 1: or we'll complain about living through this. But either way,
Speaker 1: we'll have a story to tell. And as I told you,
Speaker 1: use it goo guests, and I learned from Dr soth
Speaker 1: Sus it's all about the stories you pick up along
Speaker 1: the way of life. So let's jump right, and we
Speaker 1: gotta give me a longer podcast because we had hacks
Speaker 1: on on Friday. We had our doctor g that came
Speaker 1: on on Saturday. Domestic doctor. We had, we had international
Speaker 1: last week and now we have domestic here. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: that's great. I love the fact that we have people
Speaker 1: that are in the audience that are like smart people
Speaker 1: that work at hospitals and stuff that have important jobs.
Speaker 1: Because I often get emails here your your your listeners
Speaker 1: are a bunch of Neanderthals, and they're you know, a
Speaker 1: bunch of you know, knuckle draggers and all that. I'm like, well, no,
Speaker 1: we have all kinds. Normally, the more educated types don't
Speaker 1: call into the show. You know what I'm saying. You know,
Speaker 1: it's or they they're not as big as they're not
Speaker 1: into being characters on the radio. These guys, the other
Speaker 1: guys are like, I want to be characters in the
Speaker 1: show anyway. You also said that your executives that listen
Speaker 1: to the show usually can't sleep, so they'll turn you
Speaker 1: on like late at night. Yeah. Yeah, it's really cool,
Speaker 1: and it's like a hidden gem of overnight radio is
Speaker 1: that there's so many people that have sleep issues. I've
Speaker 1: gotten emails from people I'm like, no way, that fucking
Speaker 1: person is in this show. And like, you know, people
Speaker 1: I watched in the NFL when I was growing up
Speaker 1: that are like retired Now. I've had executives at companies,
Speaker 1: big companies that are fans of the show. It's wild,
Speaker 1: like they want to hear Doc Mike talk about his piss.
Speaker 1: I'm like, really, but anyway, all right, so we've got
Speaker 1: study this, pop quiz, grab bag, don't stick to sports.
Speaker 1: This is like the greatest hits of the Fifth Hour podcast,
Speaker 1: all in a row. So we'll get to as many
Speaker 1: of these as we can. We obviously there's some time issues.
Speaker 1: I don't know we'll get to the full edition of everything,
Speaker 1: but we'll give you a little bit of this and
Speaker 1: a little bit of that, and then we'll see what happens. Yes,
Speaker 1: all right, so why don't we start with study this.
Speaker 1: It's a homage to Penn and Teller, their old show Bullshit,
Speaker 1: and we determine whether these are real or bullshit. We'll
Speaker 1: do a few of these. And I've complained over the
Speaker 1: last couple of months because I like reading these studies,
Speaker 1: but a lot of them are just ridiculous, and it's
Speaker 1: seemingly all about the coronavirus. And I don't want to
Speaker 1: make this show all about the coronavirus. I'd like to,
Speaker 1: you know, kind of having a soft landing place, although
Speaker 1: it hasn't been at least recently. All right, so uh
Speaker 1: here it is coping with Corona. Here we go. Uh.
Speaker 1: They say that the way many people are coping with
Speaker 1: the coronavirus is uh snooping, hooking up, doing the naughty,
Speaker 1: doing the dirty. One in four adults say that sex
Speaker 1: is helping them get through quarantine. I believe that because
Speaker 1: didn't you run with the story a couple of weeks
Speaker 1: ago that that sex toys were were in high demand. Yes,
Speaker 1: yes there was a run on this, but twenty I'm
Speaker 1: surprised it's not more than that. Yeah, maybe it should
Speaker 1: be more than that, you know what, And since you've
Speaker 1: mentioned it before. With Vegas opening up here shortly, I
Speaker 1: think that number is gonna skyrocket in the coming weeks.
Speaker 1: No pun intended. Yeah, but that they said star this
Speaker 1: week there's there's probably not gonna be a baby boom,
Speaker 1: but I thought there would be a coronavirus baby boom
Speaker 1: coming at some point. Divorces and babies. I think those
Speaker 1: two things are gonna happen sometimes here the near treat
Speaker 1: All right, Uh, this they're calling this the Corona Days.
Speaker 1: New study outs as the average person forgets what day
Speaker 1: it is five times purring the week during the week
Speaker 1: because of the fact they're at home all the time
Speaker 1: a lot of these people and they're not using their
Speaker 1: normal routine. You buy that that five times and we
Speaker 1: It's not five times for me. No, But I just
Speaker 1: keep going. I'm like, I just I put my head
Speaker 1: down and I just keep going. And I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: And then is it a day I don't have to
Speaker 1: do something. Then I'm like, okay, this is good. This
Speaker 1: is a different day. But yeah, I think it depends
Speaker 1: on the state, especially with the weather conditions that we
Speaker 1: have right now here in Los Angeles or in California
Speaker 1: in general. But man, with over thirty million people across
Speaker 1: the United States laid off or fur load, that's uh,
Speaker 1: that's an alarming study. I don't know if I buy
Speaker 1: that though. It seems like a high number. But you're
Speaker 1: including everyone. You're including people that are older and maybe
Speaker 1: their memories not that great and all that, So you're
Speaker 1: including that. All right? How about this one, Mozart for
Speaker 1: your memory? New study out says that listening to classical
Speaker 1: music helps students achieve higher grades. Now, I don't know
Speaker 1: where this is real bullshit, but I tell you what,
Speaker 1: Sometimes when I'm prepping for the show and I'm trying to,
Speaker 1: you know, put some thoughts down on you know what
Speaker 1: I want to say in a Mallard monologue and get
Speaker 1: a couple of bullet points down on that. I will
Speaker 1: have classical music on, especially now because typically I would
Speaker 1: watch sports. You know, he getting ready for the show,
Speaker 1: but there's no sports to watch. So yeah, I'll put
Speaker 1: I go on one of the music apps and I'll
Speaker 1: put on some tunes and some classical music. And I
Speaker 1: often feel like either jazz with non vocal jazz or
Speaker 1: classical music. When you drive around with that on, you
Speaker 1: feel like you're in a movie because that's always like
Speaker 1: the music in the background in the movie. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I feel like that. But uh yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: buy this because I feel like I'm focused. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: just in a placebo effect it could be, but I
Speaker 1: feel like it does It doesn't take away from what
Speaker 1: I'm doing, and if anything, it might enhance them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll just say it would. I mean different music will
Speaker 1: bring out different behaviors in you. You know, if you're
Speaker 1: listening to rock or metal or a turn of music,
Speaker 1: I would imagine like you're gonna have a d d
Speaker 1: uh as opposed to like rap and hip hop or
Speaker 1: you know, something else of the nature as opposed to
Speaker 1: classical music. That's that's pretty fascinating. Now do you write
Speaker 1: down your notes though, or do you type the notes
Speaker 1: to help you retain that information? Uh? Well, I have
Speaker 1: like I do, like bullet points stuff and try to,
Speaker 1: you know, think about what would work, you know, and
Speaker 1: then yeah, you know. Unfortunately, usually what I think is
Speaker 1: going to happen, then what I say on the radio
Speaker 1: or two different things. So that's normally what happens. But
Speaker 1: the best laid plans of mice and men, as the
Speaker 1: old line goes, right, So I think this would be great,
Speaker 1: and then I, you know, funk it up. I was
Speaker 1: so tired the other day. I was doing a monologue
Speaker 1: about pippin versus Jordan's Yeah, and I was so fucking
Speaker 1: tired that I got I asked, you know, I try
Speaker 1: to set it up and I ask a question, then
Speaker 1: I answer it, you know, as I U like I think,
Speaker 1: I said, like, whose side are you on? Pippen or Jordan's?
Speaker 1: And I was on Jordan's side, but I said pipping
Speaker 1: just like because I was like, I don't know, I
Speaker 1: don't know where that came from, but I like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck Anyway, a couple of days later, I'm still
Speaker 1: piste off. I don't know if you had any friends
Speaker 1: were like this, but I had a ton of friends
Speaker 1: that had issues like that because they're working late or
Speaker 1: they had to study in the morning time for tests.
Speaker 1: But friends in the medical industry or friends that were
Speaker 1: in law man maybe popping adderalls left and right to
Speaker 1: keep themselves up, like seven. They're a Seattle seahawk play absolutely, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't do the adderall I should have done. It's
Speaker 1: my job by me is I have the caffeine, which
Speaker 1: is my adderall, like the caffeine pill, and I'll take
Speaker 1: one of those and then I'm bouncing off the walls
Speaker 1: going rat a tat tat, doing rhythmic chaining and all that.
Speaker 1: So um, but all right, another study intelligent life on
Speaker 1: other planets. The odds say it's a good bet according
Speaker 1: to a new study. I don't know that we needed
Speaker 1: this study, but Columbia University Department of Astronomy says a
Speaker 1: study on how Earth developed can be used to figure
Speaker 1: out if alien worlds can also support life. If you
Speaker 1: want to mind fuck, go out. We've all done this
Speaker 1: at some point. Go out away from the city lights.
Speaker 1: If you live in a city and lay down and
Speaker 1: look up on a clear night and tell me there's
Speaker 1: not other life out there, just tell me that with
Speaker 1: a percent that there's not other I mean, it's just endless.
Speaker 1: It's wild. It's absolutely wild. Um. And so as far
Speaker 1: as the actual numbers here, let me give you the
Speaker 1: actual number, you can see page down here, page down.
Speaker 1: Let me see, I gotta find the numbers here. Um,
Speaker 1: let's see they say the actual numbers on this are.
Speaker 1: They say, they give me the fractional lots, so I've
Speaker 1: got to adjust it. Let's see here is mallar math. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they say, well this is I think it's more than
Speaker 1: that though, because they say it's about in favor of
Speaker 1: intelligent aliens. Okay, so the differences intelligent aliens got, I
Speaker 1: believe I wouldn't be shocked if they're like living amongst us,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying that I wouldn't be like,
Speaker 1: like we're well, it wouldn't be amazing if it was
Speaker 1: like the Twilight Zone and we're all just some kind
Speaker 1: of weird science experiment. Yeah, wouldn't that be amazing? Did
Speaker 1: you ever see that old school movie with Roddy Piper
Speaker 1: called they Live. I did not, man, it's it's so
Speaker 1: relatable now you gotta watch it. I forget what year
Speaker 1: it was made. But Roddy Piper basically comes across these
Speaker 1: just black sunglasses one day in an alley, I believe
Speaker 1: it was, and he puts it on, and regular human
Speaker 1: beings are in fact aliens, And and you look at
Speaker 1: buildings and it will say, like, let's just say, for examples,
Speaker 1: like Ross or Sears or thrifty, and it would give
Speaker 1: the underlying message that that department store or pharmacy was
Speaker 1: trying to give you, and it would say like Ross,
Speaker 1: but underneath it when you put the glasses on, it'
Speaker 1: say manipulation or control or like sex or murder. Who
Speaker 1: you think it's pretty wild? So yeah, why not? And
Speaker 1: I believe it. I mean I think that, like you said,
Speaker 1: I think the number is a lot harder than that, though. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would agree with you on that. All right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and we're don't study this another study here. Uh, this
Speaker 1: is great. This is a great homage to Benny versus
Speaker 1: the Penny a Bid I've been doing for a long
Speaker 1: time on radio and now on podcasting. And it says
Speaker 1: that there. It is right there, says people, according to
Speaker 1: a new study, are happier making big life decisions by
Speaker 1: flipping a coin. I have a I have a theory
Speaker 1: on this guestcount. So I think the reason this is
Speaker 1: this new study has found that people are happier when
Speaker 1: they flip just flip a coin to help them make
Speaker 1: some of life's toughest decisions. This is from the University
Speaker 1: of Chicago study. My theory is, if you flip the
Speaker 1: coin and it doesn't work out, you've got a fall coin.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. You can blame the coin
Speaker 1: and say, wow, funk the coin. It's not my decision.
Speaker 1: The coin made the decision, not my fault. I funked
Speaker 1: up my life. The coin funked up my life, and
Speaker 1: you can blame the coin. It's a great, great alibi.
Speaker 1: Have you ever created a list like pros versus CON's
Speaker 1: on any big life decision you've made. No, but not recently.
Speaker 1: I'm sure years ago I did, But I'm I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm not not gotting down that road I have. You
Speaker 1: know I've never done that. Um, I mean, I've never
Speaker 1: done that at a table, whether it's roulette or craps
Speaker 1: or black. I mean, I've never flipped a coin to
Speaker 1: make a decision in my life. I have, you know,
Speaker 1: playing around with the family, I'll be like, all right,
Speaker 1: we got two restaurants, you know, we got two tribes.
Speaker 1: We got this side of the aisle wants to go
Speaker 1: to cheese steak factory, cheesecake factory. This side wants to
Speaker 1: go to uh to Tommy's or whatever. And then we'll
Speaker 1: flip the coin to the side with you. I'd be like,
Speaker 1: let's doth well. In my younger days, I would have
Speaker 1: done that and another one. I would have stacked all three.
Speaker 1: That would have been my my eating here. All right,
Speaker 1: here's another study that says every heart beats to its
Speaker 1: own rhythm when listening to music. New research. You believe
Speaker 1: that's that kind of relates to the classical thing? We were, right, Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 1: I think this goes to another movie. But Demi Moore
Speaker 1: was in this one, g I Jane, and she's a
Speaker 1: she's actually entering the Seal program and she's the only
Speaker 1: female that's in the program. But they're up longer than
Speaker 1: twenty four hours. All these men and her are simply
Speaker 1: gassed from working out and exercising but one of the
Speaker 1: exercises they need to do was in the middle of
Speaker 1: the night during a storm, is there indoors and they
Speaker 1: have to write. They have to write and tell their
Speaker 1: command or like why they joined I think, either the
Speaker 1: Marine Corps or why they joined the Navy Seal program.
Speaker 1: And what does he do? He hips on classical music.
Speaker 1: So these people are dead, tired, fatigued muscles, mind everything,
Speaker 1: and he puts on classical music. And I think they
Speaker 1: jack up the heat in there to make them even
Speaker 1: more tired. And they gotta righte this out in a
Speaker 1: timely fashion with classical music in their ears. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I believe that. I mean that goes to work. When
Speaker 1: you work out, do you work out to heavy metal
Speaker 1: music or anything that's upbeat or do you work out
Speaker 1: to something that's more chill and slow? No, no, I
Speaker 1: work out when when I back when I used to
Speaker 1: work out um and the gym, I would have upbeat
Speaker 1: you know music to be what I would listen to. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I believe that it makes sense. So yeah, it says
Speaker 1: each person's heart tells a different story. It's like poetry. Oh,
Speaker 1: I guess it makes sense though, because you think about uh,
Speaker 1: your d n A right, they figured that out. Everyone's
Speaker 1: got their own d NA, their own set of DNA people.
Speaker 1: People die of broken hearts me here and all the time.
Speaker 1: Like seventy year eight year old couple, one of them passes,
Speaker 1: the next one follow right after, and that's because they
Speaker 1: have a broken heart. Yeah. By that, I believe that.
Speaker 1: That's great. Another thing we can worry about, all right,
Speaker 1: run for your mind, gas Gan says. News study says
Speaker 1: regular aerobic exercise can turn back to the clock. If
Speaker 1: you've got an aging brain. They say, get out there
Speaker 1: and shake it up. Shake it up. Sounds like Scott Pharrell, Uh,
Speaker 1: and you can. You can make that happen, but you
Speaker 1: can turn back the clock, Steady finds. A new research
Speaker 1: suggests that just in just six months of aerobic exercise
Speaker 1: can help rewire the brain of an older adult to
Speaker 1: perform as well as they did at a younger age. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I believe that too, because you're you're jacking up your endorphins,
Speaker 1: you're lowering your insulin levels, and in your mind just
Speaker 1: becomes more focused. I mean this helps out though with
Speaker 1: with intermittent fasting, like don't you feel don't you feel
Speaker 1: more crisp? And clear when you're fasting as opposed to
Speaker 1: when you eat. When you eat heavy too, I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I do when I eat a big meal, I
Speaker 1: do feel sluggish. Now. I never used to feel sluggish.
Speaker 1: That's one thing that I do not like about intermittent
Speaker 1: fasting because it takes away because I was It's kind
Speaker 1: of like when I was big eating gascon, I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, they say drunk, the way that you don't
Speaker 1: have to have a hangover is just don't stop drinking,
Speaker 1: you know. And I didn't stop eating for years, and
Speaker 1: so it didn't matter what I eat. I did big
Speaker 1: meals and I wouldn't feel the effects. But now as
Speaker 1: I have gone into this the last couple of years,
Speaker 1: I've been starting to do the fasting thing, and so
Speaker 1: I do notice, like on the weekends, I feel bloated
Speaker 1: and stuff when I eat a big meal and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh shit, I'm just like I'm I'm becoming a piss
Speaker 1: and here or something like that. Yeah, it's it's it's
Speaker 1: It's one of those lines like motion creates emotion, and
Speaker 1: so when you're running, whether it's for a long period
Speaker 1: time or short period time, you get those endorphins flowing
Speaker 1: at the blood and the juice is going back to
Speaker 1: the mind. It's it's a powerful thing. And I just
Speaker 1: want to tell the s any people that are like
Speaker 1: fat shaming fat people, as a recovering fat man myself, Uh,
Speaker 1: you cannot talk up to a fat person said don't
Speaker 1: you you feel better if you don't eat you know,
Speaker 1: or you eat smaller meals, that they don't feel better
Speaker 1: because their bodies trained to eat all those gigantic meals
Speaker 1: and they're not They're not gonna. They think that's bullshit.
Speaker 1: So anyway, all right, last study this for this week.
Speaker 1: This comes out of Scotland. UH study in Scotland says
Speaker 1: that as Scotland emerges out of the coronavirus lockdown there
Speaker 1: they they leave it unhealthier. They say four out of
Speaker 1: five people reported an increase in harmful habits picked up
Speaker 1: during the coronavirus lockdown, including smoking. They started smoking or
Speaker 1: smoking more, drinking or drinking more, and doing unhealthy eating,
Speaker 1: according to a new study. And so the question is
Speaker 1: is this everywhere? Is it's just in Scotland. I think
Speaker 1: it's everywhere. I think people have been eating bond bonds
Speaker 1: all day and all night sitting in their underwear, smoking, drinking,
Speaker 1: and self medicating themselves over the anxiety of either losing
Speaker 1: their job or possibly losing their job or taking a
Speaker 1: pac I think perfect sense. Yeah, because people stress, eat,
Speaker 1: they stress smoke, and they stress drink. I think those
Speaker 1: things all come into play absolutely and with with the
Speaker 1: apps that we have here in the United States. Then
Speaker 1: you get the mobile apps you can place in order
Speaker 1: and have someone pick it up and drop it off
Speaker 1: at your house too. So this happens for everything, alcohol, tobacco,
Speaker 1: and food. Be sure to catch live editions of The
Speaker 1: Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm
Speaker 1: Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get to pop Quiz, my favorite portion.
Speaker 1: We have a bunch of email a bat grab bag
Speaker 1: questions and also don't stick to sports. We'll get to
Speaker 1: that as well. But here's the pop quiz. Digital overload
Speaker 1: the average adult, according to a new research, so the
Speaker 1: average adult will spend blank number of their life staring
Speaker 1: at a screen number of number of years. Oh um,
Speaker 1: what's the median age here in the United States. I
Speaker 1: think it's seventy two. Um, I'm gonna say, gosh, this
Speaker 1: is a dangerous one because it's not like the digital
Speaker 1: platform has been around forever. I'm gonna say years wise,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say twenty four years. You're somewhat in the ballpark,
Speaker 1: but loosely in the ballpark. They say that digital overload.
Speaker 1: The average adult during our lives will spend thirty four
Speaker 1: years of our lives staring at either a phone, a computer,
Speaker 1: a television. About that, I believe it where zombies. It's
Speaker 1: we've become zombies. We just stare at screens. That's all
Speaker 1: we do. Yeah, I mean, sounding like my grandfather. Part
Speaker 1: of it is to make this relatable to a lot
Speaker 1: of people, as if you've been with a casino and
Speaker 1: then you know this when you go to a casino,
Speaker 1: the things that you do and don't observe in there.
Speaker 1: What there's no clock, the ceilings are usually bright or
Speaker 1: they're like a vibrant color, and there's oxygen. So you
Speaker 1: have all those elements that keep you inside the casino
Speaker 1: for the purpose of gambling and pisting all of your
Speaker 1: money away. Cell phones, uh, your digital apps, televisions, they
Speaker 1: all have those lights that keep you compelled to looking
Speaker 1: at it NonStop and you're not even aware of it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: those dastardly Las Vegas tricks that they casinos do, and
Speaker 1: that's from years and years of research of human being,
Speaker 1: studying humans like guinea pigs to figure out how to
Speaker 1: keep them gambling in the casino. They do the same
Speaker 1: things at shopping malls, uh and in any place they
Speaker 1: want you to spend money. They find reasons, whether it's
Speaker 1: sense like the smells and they put in the perfume
Speaker 1: or whatever they throw in there. This the music that
Speaker 1: they play, it's all it's like it's like fast food.
Speaker 1: When you think of any major fast food company or chain,
Speaker 1: their colors are either red or yellow or yellow and red.
Speaker 1: And that's for the purpose of catching your eyes. Like
Speaker 1: the two most popular cars are ticketed our vehicles that
Speaker 1: are either painted red or painted yellow because that's what
Speaker 1: the officers see more often than any other color driving
Speaker 1: on the on the on the roadways. Yeah, and we
Speaker 1: remember we talked about the health Halo. We did the
Speaker 1: podcast about the health Halo and all that and the
Speaker 1: different buzz terms that they use there that get people
Speaker 1: all all fired up. Homegrown, homegrown, that's another one. Homegrown
Speaker 1: is a good one. Farm was it farm to farm Fresh,
Speaker 1: you know, another another thing and uh yeah, Big Chicken.
Speaker 1: I still remember that. That was a fun podcast. If
Speaker 1: you didn't hear that. If you're new to the podcast,
Speaker 1: go back and download. Was it called Big Chicken? I
Speaker 1: forget what it was called, but it was a pretty
Speaker 1: I liked that one. That was one of the podcasts.
Speaker 1: That was one of my more enjoyable podcasts as opposed
Speaker 1: to any of the other ones. Yeah, I hate it.
Speaker 1: All the other ones I can't stand anium, but that
Speaker 1: with that one, I liked that one. I enjoyed very much.
Speaker 1: All right, let's press on here. Let's see here we
Speaker 1: have more pop quiz. A new forts says, sales of
Speaker 1: this food have gone up a hundred and during the
Speaker 1: coronavirus pandemic. Sales of this food. Yeah, the last couple
Speaker 1: of months. Um do do do, do do do? I
Speaker 1: can't beat meat. Do do be? Is it cereal? No? No,
Speaker 1: it is a It is a meat. It is hot dogs,
Speaker 1: easy to make, simple, relatively cheap, decent meal. All right,
Speaker 1: hot dogs, Dodger dog, Finway Frank monster Dog, Finway Monster Dog.
Speaker 1: I always thought that Dodger dog was was good if
Speaker 1: if grilled properly and burned up. But you've been to
Speaker 1: Boston even a Finway. Oh my god, those hot dogs
Speaker 1: are this guy Phil in Cambridge. Uh you know he
Speaker 1: he would hook me up with like a set like
Speaker 1: it's like I had, I had a'm I'm an addict,
Speaker 1: and he would feed my addiction because you can buy
Speaker 1: those hot dogs that the store is locally in a
Speaker 1: Massachusetts and stuff in in the New England states. And
Speaker 1: he would send me some. And I have summer barbecues
Speaker 1: with those Finway monster dogs. Let me tell you something awesome. Now,
Speaker 1: whenever you go visit your brother in New York, do
Speaker 1: you ever walk the streets and an intoxicated night you
Speaker 1: order hot dogs from the street vendors. No, I know,
Speaker 1: I love the street vendor pretzels. I like. I like that,
Speaker 1: although the Philadelphia pretzels better than the New York pretzel,
Speaker 1: but the New York pretzels much better than the l
Speaker 1: A pretzel, which really doesn't exist. So yeah, and uh,
Speaker 1: and you know I like that. In New York they
Speaker 1: think it's the it's open twenty four hours, but anyone's
Speaker 1: lived there or been to New York knows that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can get a turkey sandwich or pastronomy sandwich at
Speaker 1: the corner Delhi twenty four hours, but a lot of
Speaker 1: the city shuts down normally like everywhere else. It's a
Speaker 1: myth that everything's open twenty four hours. Not true, right,
Speaker 1: moura pop quiz. Sleep of forces on the rise. Blank
Speaker 1: percent of couples want separate beds? Now, alright, what percentage
Speaker 1: of couples do you think, according to this survey said
Speaker 1: they want separate beds. So this is moderately high for this,
Speaker 1: I'd say on the study ago thirty six percent. Wow,
Speaker 1: you were very very close, but you did go over
Speaker 1: thirty five percent. Thirty five percent according to that study
Speaker 1: that people are just trying to go into separate beds.
Speaker 1: There you go. They say what intent? Adults say they're sleeping.
Speaker 1: Struggles have led them to consider an actual divorce. But
Speaker 1: they said thirty five percent, I want to go on
Speaker 1: go on separate rooms. That's like the early remember the
Speaker 1: early Hollywood shows they would have they would not be
Speaker 1: in the same bed. The Woman and the Man wasn't
Speaker 1: I Love Lucy was like that? Right? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that was the one. I remember reruns of that. No,
Speaker 1: no sleeping number beds bed job by them? All right,
Speaker 1: more pop Quiz. Got a few more of these, and
Speaker 1: then we'll get to the mail bag. We well, actually,
Speaker 1: before we get to the mail bag, we'll get to
Speaker 1: to don't stick to sports, which is pretty much what
Speaker 1: this whole podcast has become. Anyway, pop quiz. Most men
Speaker 1: have stolen this from their significant other. What is it?
Speaker 1: Man um stolen this wold lady friend or male friend? Whatever?
Speaker 1: Significant Okay, so money money? Uh no, not if they're
Speaker 1: still money from someone you're not gonna be with them
Speaker 1: much longer. The answer is skincare products. Oh, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Like the guys stealing stuff? I don't know. Yeah, my
Speaker 1: wife usually shoves stuff at me to put it on.
Speaker 1: I don't have to steal with you. Put this on,
Speaker 1: all right, whatever, leave me alone, I'll put it on. Fine,
Speaker 1: all right, here we go, pop Quiz. People in the
Speaker 1: early eighteen hundreds actually use this staple of summer barbecues
Speaker 1: and meals in general as a medicine. It's originally a
Speaker 1: medicine in the early eighteen hundreds. What is it, let's penicillin,
Speaker 1: but no for barbecue. Let's say it's like barbecue or
Speaker 1: just meals and pretty much everywhere. Now I don't just barbecues,
Speaker 1: it's it's a food item. It's like a condiment. Relish
Speaker 1: no ketchup Ketchup. Early in the I saw a documentary
Speaker 1: on ketchup. Believe it or not. It sounds terrible thought,
Speaker 1: but they said, before a documentary on ketchup, I'm curious,
Speaker 1: like the history of stuff. And it was like the
Speaker 1: history of Like, I was like, how did how did
Speaker 1: we get to a point in Western society where every
Speaker 1: restaurant has to have a ketchup bottle on the table?
Speaker 1: Like what led to that? And they said before, like
Speaker 1: early food, there was no guidelines, like the U. S
Speaker 1: d A didn't exist or the U. S g A. Rather,
Speaker 1: the agriculture people did not exist, and so they didn't
Speaker 1: the food was not particularly did taste great. It wasn't
Speaker 1: kept well, it wasn't safe, and so they originally put
Speaker 1: tartar sauce on everything. And then when Hines the Hindes
Speaker 1: group invented the catchup, that was like a game changer,
Speaker 1: made everything taste better and and then the rest is history. Interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I watched that a few years ago. A study shows
Speaker 1: this food is eating the most between nine and eleven PM.
Speaker 1: What is it? This should be easy? How does it
Speaker 1: say pizza? No? Come on, guess nine to eleven. You're
Speaker 1: late at night, you're alone, you're watching television, You're sitting
Speaker 1: on the couch. What are you doing? Ice cream? Yes,
Speaker 1: ice cream? Late night ice cream? What's the go too
Speaker 1: for you? Rocky Road Ship, I'm a cookie dough mint
Speaker 1: chip guy. I go back and forth. Occasionally, I'll change
Speaker 1: it up. I'll go exotic with strawberry. I'll throw strawberry
Speaker 1: in there. That's an exotic thing. But you know, typically
Speaker 1: my typical thing is cookie dough and uh that that's
Speaker 1: my go too. But I like mint chip. I'll do
Speaker 1: chocolate chip. You know, I'd actually branch out of those.
Speaker 1: Those are my kind of go two things. What would
Speaker 1: you do the My wife likes like a coffee flavored
Speaker 1: type of peanut butters. You like peanut butter like pieces?
Speaker 1: I guess. But no, I'm I'm either Rocky Road cookies
Speaker 1: and cream or mitten chip. Usually it's mitten chip, but
Speaker 1: and I'm not. I'm not one of those regular humans
Speaker 1: that takes it and puts it into a ball. I'm
Speaker 1: just like right out of the right out of the carton,
Speaker 1: like I'm give me a spoon, give me a napkin
Speaker 1: or paper talent, I'm gonna go. So you're a pig, yes,
Speaker 1: I'm When you do, you don't have to worry about
Speaker 1: sharing with other people. Know you're sugar now, but you
Speaker 1: don't if you live with someone else, like a bunch
Speaker 1: of people who were in your family or whatever, you
Speaker 1: would be like okay, But but if I had to go, really,
Speaker 1: to be frank with you, if if you ever take
Speaker 1: the steps to go to seven eleven he needed a
Speaker 1: quick snack, I do recommend the Snickers ice cream bars.
Speaker 1: Those things are fucking amazing. The wrong answer. No, that's answer.
Speaker 1: They're amazing. If you want relax, all right, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you something's gonna change your fucking life. Okay,
Speaker 1: listen to me. All right. So there's uh in southern California.
Speaker 1: I don't think these are everywhere. There's a there's a
Speaker 1: local change which actually unfortunately west of the four oh file,
Speaker 1: and they sell these chocolate chip sandwiches where you know
Speaker 1: it's an ice cream sandwich with two giant, oversized, perfectly
Speaker 1: breaked chocolate chip cookies and then a big mound of
Speaker 1: vanilla ice cream. It is amazing and I would give
Speaker 1: them a pop. I actually have one of my freezer
Speaker 1: if you want me to go get it right now,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to take a couple of minutes. But
Speaker 1: it is amazing. It's the greatest thing. And I found
Speaker 1: it at seven eleven. Yeah, I went in to get
Speaker 1: ice cream, like you're saying, there on a hot day
Speaker 1: during the summer, and I found this is I like,
Speaker 1: I look, I really like cookie sandwiches, ice cream, cookie sandwiches,
Speaker 1: and this is the greatest thing I've I've had it
Speaker 1: and got from a seven eleven, of all people, and
Speaker 1: it's from some uh some like restaurant bakery place in
Speaker 1: in l A. But it's like somewhere near near the
Speaker 1: ocean over there. That's pretty good. I know Disneyland served
Speaker 1: those a lot. Oh yeah, those are good. That's a good.
Speaker 1: You don't like the cookies sandwich, No, I do. I
Speaker 1: just I haven't thought about that in a while. But
Speaker 1: Snickers ice cream bars. Since we talked about the vetting
Speaker 1: machines a lot, that thing came to my mind first. Well,
Speaker 1: maybe I'll try a Snickers ice cream but it's delicious.
Speaker 1: It's pretty addicting to alright. New survey done in conjunction
Speaker 1: by some nutrition company found that the average American has
Speaker 1: gained blank pounds while on lockdown. They say the numbers
Speaker 1: only five. I don't know. I have not gained weight.
Speaker 1: I'm very happy. I was good. I freaked out. I
Speaker 1: told the story in the podcast. But when the gym's closed.
Speaker 1: When I showed up to the gym and there was
Speaker 1: a sign shut down by the mayor of Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: I said, holy fuck, here we go. I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: five hundred pounds uh next week. And I've been I've
Speaker 1: actually lost weight, which is cool. I'm happy about that.
Speaker 1: But you probably lost muscle masks because when you work
Speaker 1: out in the gym, you're usually yes, yeah. So I'm
Speaker 1: just walking around like an old like a wandering man.
Speaker 1: I'm just win a muckle road. I'm walking down here.
Speaker 1: And have you any weight from your facial hair? Though? Like,
Speaker 1: have you let the thing breathe a little bit? Since
Speaker 1: our our zoomie because I still got to do these
Speaker 1: dopey YouTube videos and everyone mocks your your vanity and
Speaker 1: how you look. You know, people are are evil and
Speaker 1: so I try to I trim like once a week.
Speaker 1: I tried, I don't. I keep some facial hair, but
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't want to get rid of all
Speaker 1: of it. So I'm Chewbacca, man, I am, I'm the
Speaker 1: second coming of Chewbacca right now. You're Billy mays Man.
Speaker 1: You are you have You should thank your family there,
Speaker 1: because the genetics of the Gascon family a very hearty
Speaker 1: set of hair. I mean you won that, you won
Speaker 1: that battle. Yeah, but the chief doesn't have a beard,
Speaker 1: or he doesn't grow a beard. He's got the stash,
Speaker 1: but well that's the police stash though. You gotta have that, right,
Speaker 1: But I mean I don't have that. If I shave
Speaker 1: my beard, I don't have the kind of stash that
Speaker 1: he has. Like I would never have that. Like I
Speaker 1: think I told you before. My my buddy Patrick, he's
Speaker 1: a firefighter, and so they can't have facial hair outside
Speaker 1: of a mustache. Dude has a rock and mustache. Doesn't
Speaker 1: have hair on his head anymore, but he has an
Speaker 1: awesome stash that he is like the redheaded version of
Speaker 1: Tom Selleck. I'm very envious of that. Wow, I'm just
Speaker 1: happy I have hats that's all. Thank God for hats.
Speaker 1: God love hats. Keep sending those hats, and you guys
Speaker 1: have been great. I got a ton of these hats
Speaker 1: coming in and I'll wear them all and I will
Speaker 1: try to give you all as much love as I can.
Speaker 1: All right. Be sure to catch live editions of The
Speaker 1: Ben Maller Show week days at two am Eastern eleven
Speaker 1: pm Pacific. More pop quiz. A new survey says, what
Speaker 1: in three pets have two or eaten this household item?
Speaker 1: What is it? I was gonna say a remote control.
Speaker 1: That's actually makes more sense than this withilet paper? Oh
Speaker 1: what the fuck? Yeah, only dogs? You're eating toilet paper? No,
Speaker 1: I've never had that happens. Maybe maybe can't. I'm not a
Speaker 1: a cat person. Yeah. New report says only of us
Speaker 1: do this daily, even though everyone, depending on the weather,
Speaker 1: is supposed to do it. Go outside. Uh no, no,
Speaker 1: it's uh where sunscreen? Um? Yeah, we're sunscreens. The answer
Speaker 1: on that fifty five percent of us say that we
Speaker 1: would never admit to doing this unless we were caught
Speaker 1: in the act jacking off. Speak for yourself. Uh, the
Speaker 1: correct answer is hitting a parked car. Hitting a park car?
Speaker 1: So this makes sense because if you think that it's
Speaker 1: not on camera and no one saw it, then you
Speaker 1: a lot of people. I can get away with it.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna run away, And I think that's right.
Speaker 1: I think it's more than half the people say they
Speaker 1: would not if they thought they could get away, but
Speaker 1: they won't admit to the worst part, though, is when
Speaker 1: the people do admit to it and they write a
Speaker 1: note saying like, I'm sorry I hit your car without
Speaker 1: contact information. Oh yeah, that's a dick move. That is
Speaker 1: a dick move. I agree with you on that, all right.
Speaker 1: Every year, nearly three hundred thousand of us are injured
Speaker 1: by this common item that we use several times a day.
Speaker 1: A door. Yes, how about that, guest? I was thinking
Speaker 1: either a door or your bed post. Now, how is
Speaker 1: one injured by a door? They slap in the head.
Speaker 1: Did they touched the handle of the door and they
Speaker 1: don't twist it properly? They hurt their hand? Like, how
Speaker 1: does that work? I wasn't think. Yeah, if you open
Speaker 1: it and you're looking the other way, or you think
Speaker 1: that it's open, or or if you think a sliding
Speaker 1: glass door is actually open and it's clear pathway and
Speaker 1: you run into it. Yeah, I can see that. All right,
Speaker 1: let's do a few more here and then we'll move
Speaker 1: on from pop quiz. You eat this almost two times
Speaker 1: a year? Wait? Did this one? Okay? We did? You
Speaker 1: know what it isn't? I forget what? A lot of
Speaker 1: these sound the same, but this is eggs a year.
Speaker 1: Most people who plan a wedding choose to not do this.
Speaker 1: What is it? Uh? Wait? Can you repeat that more time? Alright,
Speaker 1: so most people who plan a wedding choose to not
Speaker 1: do this. Uh hirah A wedding coordinator. No, I didn't answer.
Speaker 1: I guess I didn't ask you the right. But they
Speaker 1: make sure to not plan a wedding on a holiday. Kid, Now,
Speaker 1: why is that? Wouldn't it be easier for you able
Speaker 1: to travel to your wedding on a holiday. I just
Speaker 1: want people to enjoy their holiday. And I guess not
Speaker 1: A sister that planned her wedding and it was done
Speaker 1: on the fourth of July. I planned my wedding, which
Speaker 1: was I told my wife the other day, so you know,
Speaker 1: we were ahead of the current. We had a social
Speaker 1: distancing wedding. You guys are great distance. I mean there
Speaker 1: was a destination wedding, well, when no one was invited.
Speaker 1: We went to Hawaii on a deserted beach in uh
Speaker 1: Kawaii and we had had a wedding, but it was
Speaker 1: social distancing it so and I planned my wedding for
Speaker 1: the All Star Break that year. How about that? That's
Speaker 1: pretty good? Yes, the All Star Breakers. I figured every
Speaker 1: year there wouldn't be sports, and now look at us. Here,
Speaker 1: here we are seventy days plus without sports, and we've
Speaker 1: all survived. The world has not come to an end.
Speaker 1: Amazingly so, although it seems like it if you watched
Speaker 1: certain TV channels. Uh, the first Volkswagens to come to
Speaker 1: America lacked one in very but one very important feature.
Speaker 1: What was it? When the Volkswagens came to America, they
Speaker 1: were lacking this a break not break now a gas gauge.
Speaker 1: The original Volkswagens did not have a gas gauge, so
Speaker 1: you didn't know how much gas you had left. That's amazing.
Speaker 1: That's a bit of a problem, right, Yeah. Have you
Speaker 1: ever driven a VW bug? I have not. I don't
Speaker 1: think i'd fit in one. I'm too tall. Maybe have
Speaker 1: you driven uh one of the buses? I have not.
Speaker 1: I have. I had a friend that had one. I
Speaker 1: did sit in the back, but I have not driven.
Speaker 1: All right, let's move on from from pop quiz. Let's
Speaker 1: do you want to do? Don't stick to spence? Why
Speaker 1: don't we do that? How about this? Uh? This actually
Speaker 1: ties into your regular show too, because you do the
Speaker 1: NFL book him. Yes, um, odds Shark right now has
Speaker 1: lines out there for NFL player arrest the next odds
Speaker 1: on favorite for a player being arrested would commit what
Speaker 1: crime do you think? Yeah? I think I mentioned this
Speaker 1: on the Overnight. Uh. Which guns are always big? I
Speaker 1: forget I'm having amnesia here, but guns, domestic violence, d y, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're close. Those are the big three. Those go, Those
Speaker 1: go four, three and two in order, Drugs is number one.
Speaker 1: The odds on favorite is at plus one number one.
Speaker 1: Come on, I don't have the chime, but yeah, plus
Speaker 1: one six five do you wise? Plus two seventy five
Speaker 1: guns plus three twenty five and disorderly conduct and then
Speaker 1: vandalism is a big long shot of plus twelve hundred.
Speaker 1: The problem is that typically these guys get arrested with
Speaker 1: multiple charges, like you know what I mean. It's like
Speaker 1: you get d u I and you had a gun
Speaker 1: and in the car that you didn't we're supposed to have.
Speaker 1: You know, you get pulled over or you're doing you're
Speaker 1: doing drugs and you're you know, you're messing around somebody
Speaker 1: beating somebody up, and so all these things are tied together.
Speaker 1: That's wild. How about this coming to the UK in
Speaker 1: the near future. Sobriety tags, now, how about this new
Speaker 1: legislation is being passed to enable courts to enable people
Speaker 1: to wear ankle tags to monitor their sweat levels every
Speaker 1: thirty minutes to see whether they have drank alcohol or
Speaker 1: not every thirty minutes. Yes, now it's a it's kind
Speaker 1: of a good reason because the study actually found in
Speaker 1: the UK that it estimates too out of every five
Speaker 1: violent offenses are actually committed by drunk people. So if
Speaker 1: it's a proved, the courts will be able to order
Speaker 1: an absence of order requiring people to not drink at
Speaker 1: all for up to four months and they have to
Speaker 1: wear an ankle tag during that time period. Wow, So
Speaker 1: this is this will eventually come to America then? Right?
Speaker 1: This is is a test run, I assume, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I mean people that have had multiple d ys
Speaker 1: here they have to have the breadthalyzers putting their vehicles correct. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: so I don't know. Um, this actually is like an
Speaker 1: homage to uh this is how is this relatable? Because
Speaker 1: you were what three years ago? You were elected as
Speaker 1: a Cleveland Browns fan, right, more than three years? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did a year as a Browns fan. I had
Speaker 1: the ugliest Brown's hat in the world. I gotta find it.
Speaker 1: Actually was trying to find it because I was gonna
Speaker 1: wear it on one of the YouTube videos. Like I
Speaker 1: got a lot of hatcher I've not been able to find.
Speaker 1: I know it's here somewhere. I just have to track
Speaker 1: it down, all right, Why bring that up? Because of this?
Speaker 1: In Virginia, one of two suspects was actually apprehended after
Speaker 1: the publick helped to lead to his arrest. Now, the
Speaker 1: suspect robbed a convenience store. That's kind of happens every
Speaker 1: day in the life of the United States, right, But
Speaker 1: ben he did still with a watermelon on his head.
Speaker 1: It was two guys who entered a convenience store and
Speaker 1: they hollowed out the watermelons and ward over their heads,
Speaker 1: and they opened up and they cracked open holes for
Speaker 1: their eyes. Yeah. I saw this photo going around. I
Speaker 1: got a couple of questions. First of all, like how
Speaker 1: much weed were these guys smoking before they decided this
Speaker 1: was a good idea. What movies were they watching? The
Speaker 1: melon headed bandits they're calling them, right, that's where they're going.
Speaker 1: And this is in Virginia, yes, is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So they were charged with wearing a public mask to
Speaker 1: commit larceny underage, possession of alcohol, petty larceny of alcohol.
Speaker 1: One of the guys that was at Brandon was twenty
Speaker 1: years of age. So, um, this guy is gonna cure
Speaker 1: cancer someday, this guy, and we'll all laugh that he
Speaker 1: wore a watermelon. Maybe they're just Rams fans, you know.
Speaker 1: I used to go to the Big A back in
Speaker 1: the day. The Rams fans they still go to. There's
Speaker 1: still a bunch of Ram fans. They wear watermelons in
Speaker 1: their head. Man, you've seen that before in the end Zone, Yeah,
Speaker 1: melon heads. But to rob a convenience store though at
Speaker 1: this time of the year, Like, how did they get caught?
Speaker 1: I mean, did they Was there a trail of like
Speaker 1: watermelon seeds that one of them? I didn't get caught yet.
Speaker 1: So he's gotta be a friend with the other guy.
Speaker 1: He probably texted out, I got a couple of melons.
Speaker 1: You want to go down and rob the liquor store.
Speaker 1: But imagine taking the time to carve those suckers out
Speaker 1: and be like, yeah, let's let's wear this and let's
Speaker 1: rob a convenience. Do you think they did like a
Speaker 1: dry run somewhere? And how about this last one? A
Speaker 1: nurse in Russia was suspended from her hospital, and the
Speaker 1: reasons are a little peculiar. Um Ben, She showed up
Speaker 1: to work wearing just a bra and panties. But it
Speaker 1: wasn't just that she wore that under her transparent ppe outfit.
Speaker 1: So you know, I'm sure she was just trying to
Speaker 1: lift the spirit. It's literally in figuratively, but she was
Speaker 1: assigned to an all male patient wing for males who
Speaker 1: were diagnosed with the coronavirus. Yeah, listen, she's trying to
Speaker 1: cheer the guys up, keep them excited for life. You
Speaker 1: know why why should be shame this one? Yeah? She said,
Speaker 1: does I think I saw it in a porno years ago?
Speaker 1: So let's come on, he's living out a real life porno. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: a little role playing. I talk about the naughty nurse.
Speaker 1: I mean, my goodness, but she had a good reason
Speaker 1: she said, like she said she was too hot and
Speaker 1: the ppe outfits and goals that they wear or made
Speaker 1: a vinyl so you know, in terms of breathing a
Speaker 1: little bit, uh the airflow, maybe she was doing heroin
Speaker 1: and she just you have people to take their clothes
Speaker 1: off or bass salt or something like that. They just
Speaker 1: ripped their clothes off. Maybe she had that going on too.
Speaker 1: The pictures. Yeah, I mean people would you think that'd
Speaker 1: be to be okay with this, but if you if
Speaker 1: you don't have a body like that, they'd be upset.
Speaker 1: But it's the It's like, really and how did this
Speaker 1: become an international story? This came out of Russia to
Speaker 1: a tula Russias that were what are we doing? I
Speaker 1: don't know, but you imagine someone that's a stick figure
Speaker 1: or that's a little overweight is probably really into this.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's there you go. It's the world we
Speaker 1: live in. Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk
Speaker 1: lineup in the nation. Catch all of our shows at
Speaker 1: Fox sports Radio dot com and within the I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio app. Search f s R to listen. Live. All right,
Speaker 1: let's get to mail bag. These are actual questions from
Speaker 1: actual listeners like yourself, from both the email bag, The
Speaker 1: Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com and our Facebook
Speaker 1: page Ben Maller's show. That's where we get these questions
Speaker 1: pretty much exclusively. I did want to reference something from
Speaker 1: a previous episode of this podcast. We told a wild
Speaker 1: story from a p one who did not want his
Speaker 1: name revealed Billy Bob about an incident that had happened
Speaker 1: at a store where somebody, some woman was shaming his
Speaker 1: daughter and they got up into a dust stop and
Speaker 1: the police officer came over and they the guy ended
Speaker 1: up not getting arrested, and he credited our show a
Speaker 1: little bit because he was able to to talk to
Speaker 1: the police officer and the officer didn't know about the
Speaker 1: show and became a fan of the show, and so
Speaker 1: so it's a nice story. And you know, we have
Speaker 1: no way of verifying these things. We asked if they're
Speaker 1: the officer was listening to reach out to us, and
Speaker 1: sure enough, uh, the officer did reach out, and for
Speaker 1: obvious reasons, he does not want his name mentioned, but
Speaker 1: he said that this has actually happened more than once
Speaker 1: where he Recently, he's getting calls from people who are
Speaker 1: fighting and yelling at each other because they're not wearing
Speaker 1: masks at stores that there's masks shaming and the police
Speaker 1: have to intervene. I mean, what what are we doing here? Seriously?
Speaker 1: Like what the fuck? Bad job by you? I mean, okay, listen,
Speaker 1: I think people should. I think the mask to me
Speaker 1: is more of a placebo thing, to be honest with you,
Speaker 1: But people is, people are triggered by this stuff. So
Speaker 1: just just doing if they don't want to. I look
Speaker 1: at people want over masks. That's fine, good for you.
Speaker 1: I walk around without a mask on. I'm a rebel,
Speaker 1: but I have a mask just in case if I
Speaker 1: you know, if I see something really old or sick,
Speaker 1: I'll pull it up just to make them feel better. Yeah, now,
Speaker 1: refresh my memory, Ben, This officer actually was in the
Speaker 1: car with the listener and he subscribed during uh the
Speaker 1: actual incident. Correct. Yeah, well, he wasn't in the car,
Speaker 1: but he was like next to the car and the
Speaker 1: the guy, the big fan of the show had the
Speaker 1: podcast on and he's like, who's that guy? And then
Speaker 1: they started talking about the show, and then eventually it
Speaker 1: got to the point where they guy subscribed the officer
Speaker 1: subscribed to the podcast and and so yeah, this is
Speaker 1: the story we saved this guy from from from jail.
Speaker 1: So that was uh, apparently legit at least the the
Speaker 1: gentleman sent me an email to say it was. This
Speaker 1: is the way that it went down on and he
Speaker 1: did send it to the official fifth owner email. Andre. Now,
Speaker 1: do we get a state? At least can we side
Speaker 1: a state? We probably can't do the city, but can
Speaker 1: we do the state? Yeah, I don't want to. I
Speaker 1: don't want anything. To get back to this particular guy.
Speaker 1: And uh, it's not California, it's not the West Coast.
Speaker 1: The guy that had this happened to him, I guess
Speaker 1: is from l A or whatever. And he said that
Speaker 1: the guy told him about the characters on the show
Speaker 1: like Doc, Mike and Blair, and uh, and I laughed
Speaker 1: my ass off. There you go, he says, when your
Speaker 1: boy told you how much you hate the cheating Astros.
Speaker 1: And this guy's a Yankee fan, so he's this officer
Speaker 1: is a Yankee fans. So anyway, I'm not saying his
Speaker 1: name anything like that, but thank you for listening. I
Speaker 1: appreciate it. And uh, yeah, good to me, A good
Speaker 1: job by I think anytime you can avoid sending people
Speaker 1: to arrest or jail for dumb ship, just tell him
Speaker 1: not to do it, knock it off. I think that's
Speaker 1: to me, that's great police work, all right. So other
Speaker 1: question Shane in Springfield, Missouri. They have open buffets here
Speaker 1: in Springfield, Missouri now, but they have a person at
Speaker 1: each station dipping out the food onto your plate. Are
Speaker 1: you good eating a buffet like this from Shane? Can
Speaker 1: I answer this first? Sure? I feel like I should
Speaker 1: be okay with it, but part of me says that
Speaker 1: when I go to make that that entrance to the buffet,
Speaker 1: I'll immediately be fat shamed for for overdoing with certain items,
Speaker 1: no matter what it is. Because I tend to go
Speaker 1: when we go to buffets, I don't know how you are,
Speaker 1: but for breakfast, I go heavy on the bacon. I'm
Speaker 1: heavy the bacon. Yeah, I go heavy on the bacon.
Speaker 1: I go heavy on French toast or on waffles. But
Speaker 1: I feel like if someone's there giving me the bacon
Speaker 1: and the waffles, I'll be fat shamed. I totally agree.
Speaker 1: I think the whole point of the buffet is to
Speaker 1: just gorge and just eat and eat and eat, and
Speaker 1: just be an absolutely out pig right and devour the buffet.
Speaker 1: And yeah, it's it's human nature. Someone's handing out the
Speaker 1: fetty cheenie alfredo, and you keep getting the fetty cheenie alfredo.
Speaker 1: You overdo it, You're stuff in your face. They're gonna
Speaker 1: like either roll their eyes that you give you some
Speaker 1: kind of body language thing. Even if they don't say
Speaker 1: it verbally, there'll be some kind of message. They said, hey,
Speaker 1: you might want to get a personal trainer, mix in
Speaker 1: some jumping Jack's fatty or something like that. Right, they'll
Speaker 1: send some kind of message to you. Uh so, so
Speaker 1: I believe that. But as far as I know, you
Speaker 1: should be afraid to go to a buffet. And I
Speaker 1: just I've seen this is the end of the buffet.
Speaker 1: They'll never come back. I don't believe that. I think
Speaker 1: that's over the dramatic, being a prisoner of the moment. Now,
Speaker 1: I will say it's gonna be a while, but they're
Speaker 1: not gonna it's not gonna be the death of the buffet.
Speaker 1: I do feel better in one aspect though, I do
Speaker 1: feel better because you do get some assholes. They'll either
Speaker 1: pick something up and then put it back because they
Speaker 1: don't want it, or they're just touching all kind the
Speaker 1: ship or breathing all over everything. At least you have
Speaker 1: someone there that's monitoring on stuff. I feel a little
Speaker 1: bit more comfortable with that. No, I mean it's it's
Speaker 1: actually very smart. Who decided. I don't know whether the
Speaker 1: government did or the people that run the buffet there
Speaker 1: in Springfield, but it makes a lot of sense. I
Speaker 1: mean that way, you don't have to go out of business.
Speaker 1: You just have to hire a few more people to
Speaker 1: dish you out the food. And it seems like that
Speaker 1: would be fine hygienically. I would think. I'm like that
Speaker 1: with fried food too, like fried chicken fu. Yeah, chicken strips,
Speaker 1: potato wedges, your name, and I mean those big biscuits
Speaker 1: with the gravy. She's making me hungry, all right. This
Speaker 1: one's from a new in Owensboro, Kentucky. He says, would
Speaker 1: you trade jobs with your wife for a week? Uh? Well, no,
Speaker 1: I would not change jobs with my wife. I mean
Speaker 1: I would try it, but it would She's got a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff going on at the police station. The
Speaker 1: problem with her job is it's it goes from zero
Speaker 1: to a hundred and and so, so if if you
Speaker 1: were to switch jobs with your wife, do you think
Speaker 1: you would start off every caller and every call with
Speaker 1: like a personal monologue that says, well, where do I
Speaker 1: grade this? On my mallard packed sale of all right,
Speaker 1: so your your dog is choking? All right, I've got
Speaker 1: three things alright, three things on? Yeah, I watch the
Speaker 1: nine one one operator. If you don't, I don't know
Speaker 1: about that. Tony Milwaukee right since says what was it
Speaker 1: like to have groupies draped all over you guys? Well, Tony, listen,
Speaker 1: we're living the dream here. We're rock stars. Everyone knows
Speaker 1: weekend podcast people and overnight radio people. Really, I don't
Speaker 1: want to debunk that myth at all, because we really
Speaker 1: had were like the Beatles back in the day. We're big,
Speaker 1: We're like bebes. Justin Bieber were like Jay z U
Speaker 1: people just they they overindulge in the show. They're huge
Speaker 1: super fans clearly, and beautiful people to beautiful looking people
Speaker 1: that love the show. Well, you get the males. I
Speaker 1: get the females. I do appreciate the Ben Mallary Well,
Speaker 1: speaking of the females, Rigo writes, Ince isn't for guess
Speaker 1: gon most disgusting sexual encounter and in what city did
Speaker 1: to the Kurk? Go ahead, guess gon? Uh, well, we're
Speaker 1: in Vegas. You got that number one answer. It's the
Speaker 1: number one answer. But I'd rather than I get into
Speaker 1: that on the podcast. No specifics here, no, no, no specifics.
Speaker 1: But you did correct, you did guests the correct city
Speaker 1: was since city, Las Vegas, Nevada. Yeah, so I guess
Speaker 1: you would say the you want to protect the guilty
Speaker 1: is that? Yeah? I mean I'm part of that guilty party,
Speaker 1: but uh, you know, being being that we've well I've
Speaker 1: been in Yeah, no, Vegas is Vegas is serily number one.
Speaker 1: More Tales from the Naked City Vegas, San Diego, l A.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Ethan and Acron writes, and Ethan says,
Speaker 1: you guys have any big vices, something that's tough for
Speaker 1: you to stop doing for long periods of time? Says
Speaker 1: his is he's a young guy. He says, his his
Speaker 1: baseball video games. He cannot stop playing baseball video games.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that counts as a vice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it can be if, especially if you're playing
Speaker 1: at eight nine ten hours out of the day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, but I always think of like the vices
Speaker 1: they always bring up. They can ruin your life, you
Speaker 1: know I can. I can certainly ruin your life. I
Speaker 1: got a lot of vices, but I have I admit
Speaker 1: that I have an addiction problem. So if I find
Speaker 1: something I like or love, I can addicted to it.
Speaker 1: I told you what two weeks ago about the kit
Speaker 1: Cat bars, and here the mint ones, and now I
Speaker 1: ate like seven of them during a three day period.
Speaker 1: I mean, I get like that, whether it's chocolate or
Speaker 1: playing video games, not gambling per se, especially because I
Speaker 1: make the effort to go to Vegas as opposed to
Speaker 1: doing any online gambling. Yeah, I don't really think I
Speaker 1: have many. I guess the one thing that I'm obsessive
Speaker 1: about is the preppertion for the show, like I think
Speaker 1: I should. Sometimes I think I go a little too much.
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's an overnight show. What am I doing here?
Speaker 1: But I'm like, well, it's my name's on it, and
Speaker 1: I should probably work at it. But I I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not a carpenter, I'm not a welder,
Speaker 1: I'm not a plumber. I'm not an electrician, I'm not
Speaker 1: a freemason. What the funk am I doing here? You know?
Speaker 1: I'm like spending so much time preparing for this and
Speaker 1: like and then I take a call from Doc Mike,
Speaker 1: who's encouraging you to guzzle your piss. So what are
Speaker 1: we doing? That derails the show? I'll get my one
Speaker 1: big vice now, I guess his energy drinks. Like I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm in a big coffee guy. But I do
Speaker 1: fall prey to the energy drinks no matter where they're
Speaker 1: at or who's offering them. I I do submit to
Speaker 1: at least one a day. This is from Queen rocks
Speaker 1: Inn in Denver. She says, for you both, what sport
Speaker 1: do you think will return first, NFL, NBA, NHL or baseball?
Speaker 1: And how do you see yourself celebrating that particular moment. Uh, well,
Speaker 1: it's a toss up between hockey in baseball. I still
Speaker 1: think baseball will figure things out, but that's all gonna
Speaker 1: happen about the same time. I think they're gonna open
Speaker 1: things up for sports to play games in July. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I think we're still over a month away from that.
Speaker 1: But I think the NB and the anhel come back
Speaker 1: um at the same time simultaneously, because their seasons are
Speaker 1: both pretty much in in conjunction with the summertime getting underway.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna go hockey. I'll throw hockey out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say the n b A Major League Baseball,
Speaker 1: they still any time for these guys like they don't
Speaker 1: not if they don't have spring training. And you can't
Speaker 1: include the NFL because they're not gonna get into it
Speaker 1: until September anyway. So Jason and Bakersfield right, since says,
Speaker 1: do you guys download The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
Speaker 1: to get more downloads? Yes? I subscribe the hell Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course I subscribe to the podcast. I forced my
Speaker 1: wife to do it. My in laws, I forced them
Speaker 1: to do it. I've tried to convince my father to
Speaker 1: do it. I don't think he's figured that out yet.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I courage everyone I know saydah, help us out.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, why not? It's hardly it didn't cost
Speaker 1: you anything, and then we get some some good stuff
Speaker 1: out of it. The hardest people to have subscribed to
Speaker 1: this as our co workers. Oh is that right now?
Speaker 1: I think it's people over a certain age do not
Speaker 1: understand podcasting. Yeah, but we work here and everyone listens
Speaker 1: to every hot take artist that we have here on
Speaker 1: the network. So like, you don't want to listen to
Speaker 1: more sports talk radio, do you? No? No? I do not, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do not. Is that your computer, by the way,
Speaker 1: that's a company one? Okay, the company computer. Jimmy from Portland,
Speaker 1: Oregon rights and he says, are we going to get
Speaker 1: to boo the cheating as Astros in a few months?
Speaker 1: Please don't say no, no, no, no, no. Um Jimmy,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. I I do not think we're gonna
Speaker 1: be able to boo the Astros anytime soon. But it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. I will carry the rage. I will. I
Speaker 1: will use my neurosis towards the Astros, and they're gonna
Speaker 1: get their come Uppan's we will get our vengeance against
Speaker 1: the Astros. It's just delayed. It's delayed gratification to boot
Speaker 1: the Astros. But I would be surprised if any real
Speaker 1: number of fans come back. I hope I'm wrong. I
Speaker 1: know they're saying that they can they can socially distance
Speaker 1: and keep people apart and all that. I they don't
Speaker 1: have to keep families apart. I saw Mark cuban interview
Speaker 1: this week, and he was pointing out like if people
Speaker 1: go to a game with family, you know, you got
Speaker 1: a wife, a husband, and three kids. You can all
Speaker 1: sit together obviously, so there's five people in a row.
Speaker 1: So there's ways you can do it. I think the
Speaker 1: only part of that that I hate that we're not
Speaker 1: gonna get is we're not going to get the Astros
Speaker 1: in l A for the All Star Game because this
Speaker 1: year's All Star Game was gonna be hosted by the
Speaker 1: Dodgers the Dodger Stadium. So we're not gonna get I know.
Speaker 1: And I would have been right there with Marlin's man,
Speaker 1: my guy right behind home plate. Ah that sucks all right? Uh?
Speaker 1: Dan from Durham, North Carolina rights and he says, do
Speaker 1: you mow your own lawn? And if so, do you
Speaker 1: push have a self propelled or I like a big
Speaker 1: dog from Dan? Well? Dan, Uh, you know I don't
Speaker 1: have a massive amount of grass. I do not. I
Speaker 1: do not my own my own I don't not mow
Speaker 1: my own lawn. If I did, I think it would
Speaker 1: be awesome and I would love it. Put some headphones
Speaker 1: on and and have one of those writing mowers when
Speaker 1: you drive around. I think that would be amazing. I
Speaker 1: would love that. I would love to own enough land
Speaker 1: and have enough grass where I could do that and
Speaker 1: it would make sense. But none of the above. We
Speaker 1: have someone the gentleman that comes and does all the stuff.
Speaker 1: What about you gascon at the big Giscon estate there,
Speaker 1: don't have that. But I will say that's kind of relatable. Um.
Speaker 1: Back in the day, when I might played baseball at
Speaker 1: least the high school level, they required us to drag
Speaker 1: the field and we were pretty fortunate that we had
Speaker 1: a quad that was donated to our our baseball team.
Speaker 1: So after every practice, whoever it was would jump on
Speaker 1: the quad, first drag the infield, and then they take
Speaker 1: that sucker off and then start riding the quad and
Speaker 1: throughout the infield, outfield, and then outside the ballpark. Two.
Speaker 1: That's nice. Now. When I was growing up, one of
Speaker 1: the chores at the house I had to mow the lawn.
Speaker 1: So I did mow the lawn when I was younger
Speaker 1: growing up. It's a way for my parents not to
Speaker 1: have to hire a gardener. Have the kids do it
Speaker 1: solid move now you try to do these days. You
Speaker 1: tell a kid to mow the law and funk you.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna play video you guys say, come on? Uh.
Speaker 1: Next one from Chris in Maka, Oh Boy, here we go.
Speaker 1: Guest g M A q U O K E t A.
Speaker 1: It's a town in Iowa. Wow population, I don't know.
Speaker 1: He just says his name here Chris from this town
Speaker 1: in Iowa. Anyway, says what are some of your favorite
Speaker 1: Simpsons episodes or characters? Well, I love Homer, I love Crusty,
Speaker 1: will start with that. As far as I love the
Speaker 1: Dancing Homer episode, which is very early in the Simpsons,
Speaker 1: and that was when he him a mascot. Remember I
Speaker 1: don't remember that, but it was. It was called Dancing Homer,
Speaker 1: and they named the team the Isotopes, and that eventually
Speaker 1: became the name that inspired the name of a minor
Speaker 1: league baseball their name to the Isotopes, and uh, and
Speaker 1: that was that was pretty cool. I like that one.
Speaker 1: I liked when Homer got into an eating contest I
Speaker 1: forget the name of this one at a truck stop
Speaker 1: or a big steakhouse in Texas allegedly, and then the
Speaker 1: guy like choked or something, and Homer had to drive
Speaker 1: the truck the eight teen wheeler and then realized the
Speaker 1: truck drives itself. Do you remember the one where Um
Speaker 1: where Bart wanted to be a stunt devil and he
Speaker 1: tried riding a skateboard down a ravine or over a
Speaker 1: ravine and crossing it, and Homer convinced him not to
Speaker 1: do it because he loves him no matter what. And
Speaker 1: he accidentally went on the skateboard and tried to fly
Speaker 1: over the ravine on accident. He almost did, but he
Speaker 1: came up short. I don't think I remember that. So
Speaker 1: what happened is is he land at the bottom of
Speaker 1: the ravine. He got air lifted up and so his
Speaker 1: head was hitting the rocks because of the wind. And
Speaker 1: then they put him in an ambulance. The ambulance drove
Speaker 1: off and it crashed into a tree and the stretching
Speaker 1: went right back down the ravine as he hit himself off.
Speaker 1: Oh that's great, that's vaudeville comedy. Gold is what that is.
Speaker 1: And the other one, remember the early days of the Simpsons.
Speaker 1: They had all those like Conseco and um Wade Bobs
Speaker 1: and Don Mattingly and all those guys were on the Simpsons.
Speaker 1: That was a classical episode Homer at the bat what
Speaker 1: was called that's a that is a good one, so
Speaker 1: thank you for that question. Let's see here, Troy from
Speaker 1: indianass would you rather know how you are going to
Speaker 1: die or when you were going to die? Alright? So
Speaker 1: I've been asked this in the past, and the way
Speaker 1: I would answer at Troy is this. I guess in theory,
Speaker 1: if you knew how you were going to die, you
Speaker 1: could avoid that activity for the I mean, if you
Speaker 1: were going to die, if they say, hey, you're gonna die,
Speaker 1: you know you you're gonna die, You're gonna drown or something,
Speaker 1: you well, you wouldn't go swimming, right, So you can
Speaker 1: say that, But I don't think that's how that works.
Speaker 1: I guess from a planning standpoint, if you knew you
Speaker 1: were going to die at a certain day and then
Speaker 1: you'd be fine up until then, that would be very uplifting.
Speaker 1: What don't I mean? For it would be depressing, but
Speaker 1: it would also be like, well, I can do whatever
Speaker 1: the funk I want. I don't have to worry. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna die because I my my death days this
Speaker 1: particular date. That's a great question. I think I'd rather
Speaker 1: want to know how I'm gonna die, just because if
Speaker 1: you go time sensitive, who's to say if you don't
Speaker 1: die because of dementia or a heart attack or cancer,
Speaker 1: or an accident like a traffic accident or you know,
Speaker 1: plane crash or a natural disaster like I'd rather want
Speaker 1: to know how how I go out, as opposed to
Speaker 1: when ye to me. You know, you all end up
Speaker 1: in the same spot when you're dead, whether you I mean,
Speaker 1: some are more painful than others, but when you're dying,
Speaker 1: and nobody apparently feels pain after that point because anyway,
Speaker 1: um morbid. Well, it was a morbid question. Victor in
Speaker 1: Toronto rights and he says, I'm still waiting for the
Speaker 1: payoff of a story you teased on the radio last year.
Speaker 1: When Major League Baseball extended the netting went back up
Speaker 1: about a press box foul ball. Story was supposed to
Speaker 1: be up next after the break. All right, well, Victor,
Speaker 1: it's a long break. Fuck you, Victor. How dare you
Speaker 1: have bad job by you? So I'm trying to remember
Speaker 1: the story. I I mean, there were several I had
Speaker 1: my laptop destroyed by a foul ball when I was
Speaker 1: covering the Dodgers. Chad cruder a backup catcher. The foul
Speaker 1: ball on the press box and dead on hit my
Speaker 1: the back of my laptop. And then I proceeded to
Speaker 1: contact the Dodger management at the time, say hey, buy
Speaker 1: me a new fucking computer. They had several meetings and
Speaker 1: they had several pow wows, and they said no, they
Speaker 1: would not buy me a new a new computer. And
Speaker 1: I've seen people get into fights in the press box
Speaker 1: over foul balls and all kinds of wild so in
Speaker 1: Anaheim when they redid the big A back when they
Speaker 1: used to have the press box behind and play before
Speaker 1: Artie Marino got upset with T. J. Simer's this old
Speaker 1: columnist at the Only Times back in the day, and
Speaker 1: that was like a shooting gallery because it was it
Speaker 1: was low and there were ball foul balls flying in
Speaker 1: the press box, non stuff. I forget these specific story,
Speaker 1: I t s Victor, but there's there's like small several
Speaker 1: there's several small stories there, So screw you. Who else
Speaker 1: do we have here? Jonathan from Menafee in Calli says,
Speaker 1: have either of you stopped at Eddie's World or Eddie
Speaker 1: World there on your travels to Las Vegas. It's Beautiful
Speaker 1: in your mo greatest candy store in the world, according
Speaker 1: to Johnathan. Not Johnathan, I have not stopped. I did
Speaker 1: last time I went to Vegas, which was at the
Speaker 1: end of twenty nine. We went. They're right around Christmas,
Speaker 1: between Christmas and New Year's and I did see Eddie's World,
Speaker 1: and I was debating whether to stop because I was
Speaker 1: gonna buy Eddie, like a T shirt or a hat
Speaker 1: that said Eddie's World on it. But I didn't do it.
Speaker 1: Have you seen that when you fly though to Vegas,
Speaker 1: you're you're west of the four oh five. Guy, you
Speaker 1: don't drive to Vegas like this common people? No, I
Speaker 1: mean I do half and half, but I have never
Speaker 1: noticed Eddie World. It's relatively new, Okay, relatively I haven't
Speaker 1: driven to Vegas in a little while. I but you know,
Speaker 1: I mean the flights you're forty five minutes, man, especially
Speaker 1: if you fly to Long Beach, where you don't have
Speaker 1: to wait in list forty five minutes because you have
Speaker 1: to plan out when you get to the airport. I
Speaker 1: fly at a Long Beach, and Long Beach there's only
Speaker 1: two terminals and you have two airlines southwest to get
Speaker 1: there an hour before. No, I get there at Long Beach,
Speaker 1: I get there thirty minutes prior, and you get in
Speaker 1: and you get out. But I also have t s
Speaker 1: A pre so narcissists. There's the narcissist. We've been pretty
Speaker 1: good this weekend gets dead. But I do it would
Speaker 1: eventually come out. I knew it would eventually come out.
Speaker 1: Your inner narcissist would come out. Everybody has t s
Speaker 1: A pre these days. Right, you don't want to wait
Speaker 1: in a fucking long ass line to give your ID
Speaker 1: to uh an agent, all right? Richard from Texas writes
Speaker 1: in He says, back in the eighties and nineties, Miller
Speaker 1: Lite had the funniest commercials out of these two characters, who,
Speaker 1: in your opinion, was funny. You're Bob Yucker or Joe Piscopo.
Speaker 1: I'm a Uker guy. I loved Yuker in those commercials.
Speaker 1: And the camera angle panning back when he's in the
Speaker 1: you know I must be in the front row, and
Speaker 1: then you see him at the very top of the stadium.
Speaker 1: Those were well done. I like those. Yeah, Yuker's Ukers
Speaker 1: the go to guy. And do you remember the commercials
Speaker 1: they used to run was at the real Realman of
Speaker 1: Genius for Yeah, so those were That was a good
Speaker 1: line of commercials. Yeah, yeah, those were good too. All right,
Speaker 1: more of this this is grab bag. You want to
Speaker 1: send a question into the future Real fifth Hour at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com, where our Facebook page Ben Alors Show
Speaker 1: Sean and Waterloo, Iowa says, please let us know your
Speaker 1: take on the Korean soccer club using sex dolls as
Speaker 1: fans for the latest games. I I love that society
Speaker 1: is so they've got such I don't. I don't know
Speaker 1: what the right word is. You know, they've got such
Speaker 1: a mental condition that even seeing sex dolls wearing clothes
Speaker 1: triggers a viscual reaction. Uh five people, I don't. I
Speaker 1: think it was funny and that was hilarious. I'd love
Speaker 1: to know the backstory and how it actually happened. I
Speaker 1: know there's a story out there, but I'd like to
Speaker 1: know the actual story what really happened, Like, you know,
Speaker 1: how did that? How did he end up doing that?
Speaker 1: It's like could they not find real mannequins? So, like,
Speaker 1: I know we can get these will save money, They're cheaper.
Speaker 1: I just love if you ever take the time to
Speaker 1: go down, like if you go ever go to like
Speaker 1: Beverly Hills or like West l A. And you go
Speaker 1: past department stores, they have these mannequins. They're just completely stacked,
Speaker 1: you know, just like like they know their audience like
Speaker 1: we do. And it's just women that are completely cosmetically stacked,
Speaker 1: asked and ragged the whole nine yard. That's pretty funny.
Speaker 1: Marine uh Marine writes in she's a police officer in Boston.
Speaker 1: She said, I think I'll be able to see the
Speaker 1: Patriots game in l A twice in November, or do
Speaker 1: you think I'll be able to see it? Actually it's
Speaker 1: actually it's December. I think it is. The Patriots come
Speaker 1: to l A December six to play the Chargers and
Speaker 1: then four days later play the Rams to quirk in
Speaker 1: the NFL schedule this year. I see. Here's the problem, Marine,
Speaker 1: is that it's in California. Now. Gavin Newsom did to
Speaker 1: have a change of heart this week, and he did
Speaker 1: do a one eight from his previous statements. So there's
Speaker 1: a chance. I'm saying there's a chance. It's really dependent
Speaker 1: on how things go in Florida and how they go
Speaker 1: in Georgia and in the other states. Because if the
Speaker 1: other states say hey, we're gonna let fans in and
Speaker 1: you know, nothing horrifically bad happens. Then all of a sudden, uh,
Speaker 1: the nerve California will have a come to Jesus moment.
Speaker 1: The politicians will be like, Okay, we can do that.
Speaker 1: I think. Worst case scenario still come to l A
Speaker 1: and just hang out for a week. We'll come to
Speaker 1: l A if it's opened up, if we're depending on
Speaker 1: what stage we're at, don't come to l A if
Speaker 1: it's everything's locked up. I got my buddy in Dallas
Speaker 1: is like, I want to come to l A. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, what are you doing? He wants to come
Speaker 1: to Like July, I said, shitty, its stuff is are
Speaker 1: gonna be open up? And until I hope it is.
Speaker 1: If it is, yeah, come on down. Yeah. But magice,
Speaker 1: if you're on the East coast in December, like, why
Speaker 1: don't you want to come to l A. Anyway, It's
Speaker 1: spend five days out here and it's perfect still. Oh
Speaker 1: it doesn't the weather get really nasty like in January
Speaker 1: and February. Right, that's where he gets really wretched and
Speaker 1: horrific and and all that. All Right, Jack in Greensboro, right, so,
Speaker 1: and he says, we've all had some close calls in
Speaker 1: our lives. I bet you're no exception. What is the
Speaker 1: closest you've ever come to dying? Someone asked this question
Speaker 1: a long time ago. Yeah, that's a good question. So
Speaker 1: the way I'll answer it, No, I don't remember what
Speaker 1: I said the past. Well, the gallbladder thing, uh to
Speaker 1: get me to go to the hospital. I had gall stones.
Speaker 1: I could not sleep. I was up for I forget
Speaker 1: how many hours in a row, but I the only
Speaker 1: reason with the hospital, I thought I was gonna die.
Speaker 1: I thought I had I have a heart attack or something.
Speaker 1: I couldn't figure it out. I didn't know what was
Speaker 1: going on. So at that time, I thought, boy, this
Speaker 1: is not good. When you walk into the murgency room
Speaker 1: and you're like, you haven't been able sleep, you haven't
Speaker 1: been able to take a ship, you haven't been able
Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom in in a while, You're like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, it's been days. I'm like, oh, so
Speaker 1: I thought I was gonna check out on that one.
Speaker 1: And then the one. I've told the story a lot
Speaker 1: of times over the years. Driving to Vegas late night,
Speaker 1: run by myself, middle of the night, I'm driving out
Speaker 1: like in Barstow, and I fell asleep behind the wheel
Speaker 1: and I woke up. I was in the fast land.
Speaker 1: I remember being in the fast lane going about eighty
Speaker 1: miles eight five miles an hour, and I woke up
Speaker 1: in the slow lane and there were like trucks around.
Speaker 1: I don't know how I did not hit a truck
Speaker 1: or hit the side of the road or I'm still
Speaker 1: can't figure out how I was able to not die
Speaker 1: going that fast and falling asleep for you know, it
Speaker 1: was only a few seconds, but that's all it takes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what about Yeah, I've actually had a gun pulled on
Speaker 1: me twice. I remember that. Yeah, so I had one
Speaker 1: tell your father that did that. My dad is a
Speaker 1: gun and timidate me. Um. One time, I was saying
Speaker 1: good night to to my girlfriend at the time when
Speaker 1: I was in high school and uh, and I was
Speaker 1: saying good night to her at at a place that
Speaker 1: we were staying at. And the place that we're staying
Speaker 1: out was like an apartment complex. So I was at
Speaker 1: the gate kissing her and hugging her good night. And
Speaker 1: when I looked over her shoulder after I was hugging her,
Speaker 1: I saw this guy roll up in an old school
Speaker 1: al Camino and I was looking at him, and he
Speaker 1: was looking at me. This is like from a great
Speaker 1: distance away, I would say, probably like like a hundred
Speaker 1: feet or a hundred fifty feet, and he was looking closely.
Speaker 1: And then I see him raise a weapon and I
Speaker 1: just slowly, I don't know for some reason I did this,
Speaker 1: but slowly and like methodically, just grabbed my girlfriend and
Speaker 1: I did a roll outside the door and back into
Speaker 1: the complex, like and one fell swoop, you know. We
Speaker 1: went back into the condo, called the cops. Cops showed
Speaker 1: up and nothing happened. And then oddly enough, like three
Speaker 1: hours later, when she stayed inside, her dad's car was
Speaker 1: stolen and it was crashed down the street. So that
Speaker 1: was one time. And another time was a good friend
Speaker 1: of mine. We were leaving some high school party and
Speaker 1: he had a pickup truck and a bunch of us
Speaker 1: got in the back of his pickup truck to go
Speaker 1: down the street to this other party. And he was
Speaker 1: not a fast driver, but like a bunch of guys
Speaker 1: that were in some gangs in Pedro were falling behind
Speaker 1: us and they were cussing and like honking and tell
Speaker 1: him to get the hell out of the way, or
Speaker 1: like pull over because he was going too slow and
Speaker 1: he wouldn't. So they eventually pulled up on side of
Speaker 1: him on a major street and like a couple of
Speaker 1: guys pulled out guns on him and us and then
Speaker 1: sped on by. I was like freaking out. Was like
Speaker 1: the fucking Old West where you live? What the hell
Speaker 1: is going on with where the Ghetto meets the Sea? Man?
Speaker 1: There you go. It's a great to lead your little
Speaker 1: postcards where the Ghetto meets the Sea. I'm sure that
Speaker 1: would be a big, big seller there, absolutely absolutely all right,
Speaker 1: more a few more of these questions. This is a
Speaker 1: very long podcast. But what the hell? Why not? What
Speaker 1: else do we have to do? Uh? Kentucky J. Wrightson.
Speaker 1: He says, if you knew the Dodgers were gonna win
Speaker 1: the next World Series, but you had to extend all
Speaker 1: this social distancing, virus, etcetera stuff for another calendar or
Speaker 1: full county year, would you take the Dodgers winning the
Speaker 1: championship or would you take a shortened quarantine slash social distancing?
Speaker 1: H J. I love the Dodgers. I used to do
Speaker 1: stuff with the Dodgers. As you know, I did some
Speaker 1: Dodger talk stuff back in the day. I've very fun memories.
Speaker 1: It was a big part of my life. I would
Speaker 1: take the shortened virus I love because here's the thing, um,
Speaker 1: the Dodgers winning. If you can't celebrate it, then who
Speaker 1: the funk cares? Right? And the other thing is the
Speaker 1: Clippers will be guaranteed to win the championships. I'll celebrate
Speaker 1: the Clipper championship. And for the record, we haven't seen
Speaker 1: a Dodger titles since, so if we've been with not
Speaker 1: being I'm not celebrating a Dodgers title. I think we
Speaker 1: can go a lot longer. It would be more of
Speaker 1: the same. Jesse from Pomona Rights and he says, this
Speaker 1: is for all you guys here. Which major sport do you,
Speaker 1: guys I like to see in person and which do
Speaker 1: you like to watch on television? Uh? Well, Jessee, the
Speaker 1: way I'll answer that is I've been I've been fortunate
Speaker 1: to go to all these different sporting events over the years,
Speaker 1: mostly for free, thank god. But it really depends on
Speaker 1: where you sit, Like it's to me, it's it's it's
Speaker 1: much better to be at any of those games. If
Speaker 1: you have good seats, if you have shitty seats, I'd
Speaker 1: rather be at home. So it really depends if you
Speaker 1: can find a way to get a seat where you
Speaker 1: can feel it's it's great to feel the energy to
Speaker 1: and and God, we have to get back to that.
Speaker 1: The communal part of being in a stadium and everyone
Speaker 1: shareing and boling and all that. I love that. Now
Speaker 1: I'll go out the reservation real quick. Um, I have
Speaker 1: not been to a UFC main event, so I'd like
Speaker 1: to do that. But I've also never been to a
Speaker 1: tennis major and I've also never been to the Kentucky Derby,
Speaker 1: So I'd love to go like Churchill Downs and see
Speaker 1: all the ambiance and getting part of something like that,
Speaker 1: Like we've got del mar In sant Anita out here,
Speaker 1: but like we've never been I've never been to like
Speaker 1: the Who's Who where the surf meets the term like
Speaker 1: that that I mean, you got the bourbon, you got
Speaker 1: the beautiful women, you got the money, obviously, the horses.
Speaker 1: I think that would be awesome. I haven't been to
Speaker 1: any of those, but man, there's nothing like going to
Speaker 1: a Stanley Cup playoff game. I've been a world series.
Speaker 1: I've been to uh saw the King's win two Stanley Cups.
Speaker 1: That was awesome, very fun memories. And the coolest part
Speaker 1: about that was they let us rock walk out on
Speaker 1: the ice just minutes after they had won the Stanley
Speaker 1: Cup and the crowd still going crazy and all that,
Speaker 1: and they were hoisting up the trophy and we could
Speaker 1: was awesome, awesome, that was a one and do it
Speaker 1: twice and only a couple of years. Yeah, that was
Speaker 1: that was great And they'll never win again, but that's okay.
Speaker 1: I'm okay with that. They had their little run that
Speaker 1: the other teams win all the championships, all right. I
Speaker 1: think that's that's pretty much it. If you want to
Speaker 1: send an email again or or ask a question in
Speaker 1: a future episode of the podcast, you can send us
Speaker 1: a message Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com or
Speaker 1: Facebook Ben Maller's Show. And I just want to encourage
Speaker 1: you if you get a chance. I know it's a
Speaker 1: pain in the acid, it's busybody work, but it does
Speaker 1: help us out. If you write a little review and
Speaker 1: you give us five stars for the podcast, it helps
Speaker 1: because the suits, the management types do look at that stuff,
Speaker 1: and the people that crunch the numbers and the data.
Speaker 1: They look at how many positive reviews you have and
Speaker 1: what star rating you have, and so that stuff does
Speaker 1: help the podcast. Also say the other thing too is
Speaker 1: don't forget when you do comment on there is you
Speaker 1: can also acknowledge the the one your full gift that
Speaker 1: was provided to Ben an American wagu Tomahawks steak. I
Speaker 1: think it's just majestic. Is two pounds like that? Is? Uh?
Speaker 1: You know, you can give some reviews on that peace
Speaker 1: offering for I will either do a video cooking with Benny.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll call it cooking with but I don't have
Speaker 1: my own YouTube channel though. I'm gonna have to figure
Speaker 1: out how to how to put one together real quick.
Speaker 1: Maybe I should. I've been talking about doing that anyway.
Speaker 1: May we'll put that together the motivation then there you go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there you go, all right, and you can follow us
Speaker 1: all over the place if you want a personal video
Speaker 1: message if you're a big super fan of show, you
Speaker 1: know a super fan of the show and you want
Speaker 1: to surprise them, I am open and willing there. It's
Speaker 1: not free, but it's not very expensive. It's on cameo
Speaker 1: search my name Ben Mallard on Cameo and I would
Speaker 1: love to do it. We've done it for several big
Speaker 1: p ones of the show and everyone seems to be
Speaker 1: happy with the result of that. So if you're interested,
Speaker 1: can eo dot com Go to that website cameo dot
Speaker 1: com c A M. E O and then search my
Speaker 1: name Ben mall There's a bunch of big celebrities. I'm
Speaker 1: not a big celebrity, bunch of big names on there
Speaker 1: and you can check that out and I'd be happy
Speaker 1: to do that for you on Cameo. Also available on
Speaker 1: Twitter at Ben Mallard. We mentioned Facebook, I'm on Instagram,
Speaker 1: follow me on there and you can check me out
Speaker 1: there on Instagram at Ben Mallard. On Fox and guestcard
Speaker 1: Twitter at David J. Gascon and then on The Graham
Speaker 1: it's at Dave gascon Um. Of course you need to
Speaker 1: get those names. You can pick it up on the
Speaker 1: profile or the uh the profile instructions for this episode
Speaker 1: the category listed there for you too in much detail.
Speaker 1: All right, listen, have a great end of your weekend.
Speaker 1: We're back on the radio Sunday night in the Monday.
Speaker 1: Depends on where you are East Coast two am Monday,
Speaker 1: West Coast eleven PM so two am two six on
Speaker 1: the East and in the West of America. We are
Speaker 1: on from eleven till three and don't forget May fourth,
Speaker 1: flock to seven Pacific, seven to ten Eastern. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: will be sitting in and Gascon will be at the
Speaker 1: news desk. I'll be with Rob Parker, Wrong Button, Bob
Speaker 1: Reunited it feels so good. The Vegan Special crossover show
Speaker 1: with Rob Parker and myself. I'll be filling in for
Speaker 1: Chris Broussard on the Odd Couple. I'm looking forward to that.
Speaker 1: And that's about it.