1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:02,400 Speaker 1: Scotti, Curtie B. 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 2: It's Bananas after Dark. 3 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,639 Speaker 1: Our second Bananas after Dark. These are very special, very 4 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,520 Speaker 1: special episodes. Do you have one to start us off? 5 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,520 Speaker 1: My dear friend, Oh boy, oh boy. 6 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:19,959 Speaker 2: Put the kids to bed, guys, because it's Bananas after Dark. 7 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:20,600 Speaker 1: Here it is. 8 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 2: Pollution, is shrinking, human penises warnedst yep. 9 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 1: That is bananas, smaller bananas. 10 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 3: Bad stumbled up its basillion pieces bananas BA banana. 11 00:00:54,440 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 2: Baby bananas BA. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to Bananas. That's 12 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 2: Scottie Landis. 13 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 1: That's my main dude, my favorite comic, Kurdie B. Kurt Brown, Owler, Kurk. 14 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,400 Speaker 1: Before we get into our amazing guests, it is a 15 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:14,240 Speaker 1: Bananas after Dark, which means we do this after, you know, 16 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,120 Speaker 1: after happy hour. This is a drinking podcast, so it's 17 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,320 Speaker 1: a little looser, it's a little more fun. But you 18 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,200 Speaker 1: have some stand up dates coming up. I'm just plugging 19 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 1: for you. 20 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, May thirteenth, fourteenth and fifteenth, guys in Portland, 21 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:33,039 Speaker 2: Oregon at Helium. Get the links are on the web, 22 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 2: the Instagram. 23 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:34,760 Speaker 1: That's it. 24 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 2: The Instagram links are on the instagram. 25 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: Get it. So far, so good, So far, we sell professionals. 26 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,400 Speaker 1: I'm good. Yeah, I'm thinking of the fifteenth. I'm looking 27 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 1: at the fifteenth so you'll you'll recognize my laugh. Are 28 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 1: you ready to get this started? Oh my gosh, I've 29 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: been ready all day. I'm giddy with excitement. I know 30 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: me too. 31 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 2: Our guest today this is a second time. It's a 32 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 2: second time guest. Yeah, huge number two really rare, very rare. 33 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 2: Only this opportuna second. There's only the second second timer. 34 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:11,080 Speaker 2: That means she's good, means she's real good. She's an 35 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 2: infectious disease researcher. Oh, grandma account whose Instagram account, King 36 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,639 Speaker 2: gutter Baby is amazing. I mean, I think just like 37 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,799 Speaker 2: a half a million followers at this point, she breaks 38 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,919 Speaker 2: down the pandemic for you. But we ain't talking about 39 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 2: any of that tonight. Please welcome the very funny Laurel Bristow. 40 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 4: I'm great. I'm this is actual Banana's after Dark for 41 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 4: me because it is ten pm in Atlanta, Georgia. 42 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,799 Speaker 2: Yes, I'm I'm never up at ten pm during the choir. No, 43 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 2: I go to bed right attend. 44 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:48,920 Speaker 4: This isn't this. I'm making a special exception. 45 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 2: So well, I appreciate that's for me I had to 46 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,079 Speaker 2: put my children to bed before I could start drinking. 47 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 4: High high possibility that I will be going to bed 48 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 4: without brushing my teeth tonight. I'm just gonna put that 49 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,919 Speaker 4: out just transparency is important to me. 50 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,800 Speaker 2: So yeah, that is that a thing you do drunk? 51 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 2: You just are like, I can't be bothered. 52 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 4: No, Usually when I'm drunk, like when I'm very drunk, 53 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,359 Speaker 4: I'm like, I imagine my whole skin heergimee and put 54 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 4: my restrainers in. 55 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I do the same thing. I've woken up 56 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: and not recognized the room I was in, But then 57 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,639 Speaker 1: I'll look and everything will be taken care of. My 58 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,519 Speaker 1: phone will be plugged in, my teeth, shoes are off, 59 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: jeans are off. I've made a night of it. But uh, tonight, 60 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be okay because you did us the favor. 61 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: You went a little later so we could go a 62 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,680 Speaker 1: little later. Kurt and I were ready to drink at 63 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 1: five pm if you wanted to, but you called the 64 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: shots and were happy to have you back. 65 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 4: No, it was great, this is this is great for me. 66 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,400 Speaker 2: Do you want to hear about this? Yes, science, I 67 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 2: do want to about science. You want to get into it. 68 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, let's get into it. 69 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: Here's what we're talking about. 70 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 2: The title is pollution is Shrinking Human Penises Warren's scientist. 71 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 2: I love that it's worn scientists, just one, just that 72 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 2: one guy out there. 73 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 4: There's the one a scientist, and he is he's worried. 74 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. 75 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 2: I've been measuring all the dicks and they are teenague. 76 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:16,240 Speaker 3: So it is. 77 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 4: So the story is that the actual penis size is 78 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 4: getting smaller. Because I remember seeing something because obviously I 79 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 4: follow a lot of scientists on social media, most people 80 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 4: that I really like, and I remember someone I didn't 81 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,360 Speaker 4: have time to read it, but someone was debunking the 82 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 4: claim that sperm counts are going down and that they'll 83 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 4: be no sperm by twenty forty two. But I don't 84 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 4: remember the specific So is this an actual Wiener size situation? 85 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 4: You know? 86 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 2: What you are getting down to the what I think 87 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 2: is the heart of the matter about this article. And 88 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 2: this article was in many different publications, so and I 89 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 2: read it in multiple publications, and I kept looking for 90 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 2: the part where they measured men's penis sizes over one 91 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 2: hundred years, because that's kind of what you would need 92 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,840 Speaker 2: to prove that pollution is shrinking men's penis sizes, you 93 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 2: would think. And they reference that men's penis sizes are 94 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,279 Speaker 2: getting smaller about eight times in the article and give 95 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 2: no evidence for why they're saying that. They say that 96 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,360 Speaker 2: their fertility rates and women are going down, and that 97 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:28,880 Speaker 2: men's sperm Oh no, one hold on one minute, toos 98 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 2: are done. 99 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 1: Get that tortilla soup out of their curt. 100 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:38,119 Speaker 4: Hebe speaking his drunk munchies in advance like a dad. 101 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 1: Well he does do that, Laurel. Did you work? 102 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 4: Do you? 103 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,160 Speaker 1: Are you a Monday to Friday or is this a 104 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 1: weekend gig for you too? 105 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 4: I am a Monday to Friday person. I took today 106 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 4: off though. 107 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: Notice you did a personal day and you don't have 108 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,360 Speaker 1: to tell, do you? Just you took a day? How 109 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 1: was it was it nice? It was good? 110 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:03,039 Speaker 4: It was redactive ran Erin's. And also I'm not only 111 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:08,839 Speaker 4: the president of Science, I'm also a member and I volunteer. 112 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 4: I'm in a study that's looking at people's antibody responses 113 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 4: after the COVID vaccine. So I had to go and 114 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 4: have someone take all of my blood out of my 115 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 4: body today. 116 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:18,719 Speaker 1: So you're drinking a court low. 117 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, So I'm gonna get real weird, real fat good. 118 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:27,320 Speaker 1: You're in the right company. When I was a freshman 119 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:31,560 Speaker 1: in college, we had this weird program where we had 120 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,240 Speaker 1: two classes in our dorm room, so it was a 121 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 1: twenty two story building and then own fifteen and twelve 122 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,799 Speaker 1: were classrooms, so you could just go down to your pajamas. 123 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 1: It was great. And one of those was a creative 124 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,360 Speaker 1: writing course that I took. It was a requirement, and 125 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 1: the last project we had to do, the last paper 126 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 1: we had to write on was kind of like anything 127 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 1: controversial that you had to write three to five pages on. 128 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,280 Speaker 1: And the way this teacher was such a bad she 129 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:01,200 Speaker 1: was such a bad professor, and I honestly I kind 130 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: of felt bad for her because I think she was 131 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 1: just like, I'm re entering the workforce and then she 132 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 1: just wasn't equipped for the internet in the modern world, 133 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: so it's strange. So I said, I want to do 134 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: the importance of penis length and society as a topic, 135 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: and she was like, You're never gonna find enough on that, 136 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 1: And so I wrote a paper called the Unit of 137 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 1: measure It and she. 138 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 4: A plus paper title Bye the Bye We Love. If 139 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 4: you can get both a pun and a semicolon paper 140 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 4: title that's like hats off to you. 141 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was great and I did tons and tons 142 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 1: of research and it was very fun and I passed 143 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 1: out surveys on campus. And so I think that the 144 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 1: fact Kurt your article having no scientific evidence of what 145 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:55,720 Speaker 1: they're claiming, it just makes me feel like some scientists 146 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: was trying to just spread the world and like ease 147 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 1: everybody into this. Uh maybe recently divorced and getting back 148 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 1: on bumble or hinge is what I'm saying. Maybe he's 149 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 1: just going they're smaller guys. It's just a drowning. Actually 150 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 1: are shrinking a book. It's actually a book. 151 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,480 Speaker 2: This was, by the way, a bunch of people sent 152 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 2: this in and I apologize I don't have anybody's name. 153 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 2: This is originally this was published in Vice, but I 154 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 2: also saw in other places it was by. 155 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 4: Of course it was published and Vice. They love that 156 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:29,720 Speaker 4: kind of stuff. 157 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 2: Not only Vice but also the Mirror dot co UK. 158 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,559 Speaker 2: So two really reputable sources. 159 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,160 Speaker 1: Not clickbait at all. It's by J. 160 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,959 Speaker 4: Shrik Kumar, who is I would also just like to 161 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,679 Speaker 4: say that Vice did an article on me that was 162 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,840 Speaker 4: very lovely, so you know, not all the vices. 163 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: Thank you. 164 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 2: You know what in my bio, I have a very 165 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 2: nice quote from Vice. So we'll take it all back. 166 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:58,840 Speaker 2: We like vicecountable. It's okay, yeah by J. Shriek Kumar. 167 00:08:58,960 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 2: He's the best in the biz. 168 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:00,720 Speaker 1: Okay. 169 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 2: So it is doctor Shanna H. Swan and a renowned 170 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 2: environmental and reproductive epidemiologists use of industrial chemicals and everyday 171 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 2: products to smaller penises, lower sperm counts, and a rectile dysfunction. 172 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,679 Speaker 4: Uh, doctor Swan, cite your sources, babe. 173 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. 174 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 2: But it's also I think it's it's really it's more 175 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,880 Speaker 2: the fault of the author of the article that they 176 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:31,319 Speaker 2: don't talk about. He just refers to smaller penises, but 177 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,920 Speaker 2: never like, how do we know? But also I'll tell 178 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:38,679 Speaker 2: you what. There is a sidebar article here, okay, the 179 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 2: picture of a woman that says I took female viagraph 180 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 2: for a week. And that is the kind of reporting 181 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 2: I go to Vice. 182 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, there was a there was a Vice article about 183 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:55,839 Speaker 4: a woman who drank an entire bottle of THHC lou 184 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:02,120 Speaker 4: and was stoned for three days. Yeah, and it sounded awful. 185 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think want. 186 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,120 Speaker 4: More about this article is coming back to me now, 187 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 4: because I remember reading the dissection, and I just I'm 188 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,679 Speaker 4: remembering that the person who was doing it was like 189 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 4: they didn't cite a lot, So I went to the 190 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 4: primary source, which cited something, else, which cited something. It 191 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 4: was like this long change trying to get back to 192 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 4: this like tenuous connection. 193 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:29,800 Speaker 2: So okay, we have had one of those before. Oh 194 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,679 Speaker 2: I think when you were on was were you on 195 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 2: for the one with the mushroom where made people? Yeah, 196 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 2: it was reference to reference to reference. 197 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 4: It's like a little mystery breadcrumb signs bread crumbs all 198 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,080 Speaker 4: the way back to absolute nonsense. 199 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess. But this could be like a very 200 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: effective thing, like people clearly don't care about climate change. 201 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 1: It keeps getting worse. We're not doing enough to curb it. 202 00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: Maybe this is some really great scientists being like, we 203 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:03,839 Speaker 1: gotta get exactly dudes and power interested. So maybe if 204 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 1: we freak out the the owners, all the pop can 205 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 1: get smaller. 206 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 4: This is not for me. This is a science equivalent 207 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,000 Speaker 4: of like turning the teacher, turning the chair backwards, sitting 208 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 4: on a backwards. 209 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 1: And just rapping with you, you know, just raping. 210 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,120 Speaker 2: Here's what I this is immediately what I thought, because 211 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 2: what they say in the book is that the reason 212 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,439 Speaker 2: that all these things are happening is microplastics that get 213 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,200 Speaker 2: into your blood system essentially, and they just accumulate over 214 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,920 Speaker 2: the entire lifetime and they never leave. 215 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:34,440 Speaker 1: Great. 216 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,560 Speaker 2: And I here's my question, and I don't know if 217 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 2: I can answer. Maybe an animal can, Maybe you can, Laurel. 218 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,800 Speaker 2: I use an arrow press. Do you know what an 219 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:42,599 Speaker 2: aero press is? 220 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 3: I do? 221 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,400 Speaker 1: Not for coffee, Okay, I don't either. 222 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 2: An aerow press is supposed to make an espresso loo'ks 223 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 2: like a travel travel espresso. 224 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: Kit because use it at home. 225 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:56,360 Speaker 2: And it's a plunger and a plastic cylinder that then 226 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,720 Speaker 2: has a filter at one end. But you pour boiling 227 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,839 Speaker 2: water into this plast cylinder and then the plunger is 228 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,920 Speaker 2: like a plastic rubber plunger that you plunge down the 229 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 2: pressure and it makes kind of like a nice couple 230 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:11,439 Speaker 2: very strong coffee. But I think maybe it's microplastics in 231 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 2: my mouth every morning when I for sure maybe, I. 232 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:19,760 Speaker 4: Mean, even if you don't have that, it's something else. 233 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:21,960 Speaker 1: It's something that's how I feel. 234 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 4: People like like I really like Tobo Chico and they 235 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,559 Speaker 4: were kind enough to like give me a bunch of 236 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 4: topo Chico in Atlanta. 237 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:29,719 Speaker 1: There it is. 238 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,560 Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, Chico, look at my socks. Whatever. 239 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,959 Speaker 4: And people on Instagram are like moral this like paper 240 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 4: came out that they have like too many parts per 241 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,640 Speaker 4: billion of something or other, and I was like, I'm 242 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,000 Speaker 4: choosing to not care. 243 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,360 Speaker 1: At some point, you got to look the other way. 244 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, there are things that I will just be like, 245 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,920 Speaker 4: you know what worth it? 246 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:56,520 Speaker 2: Okay, press, I'm using it tomorrow morning. 247 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: Then I'm trying to preserve this body. All you all 248 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:02,520 Speaker 1: the preservatives you said me. At some point you can't 249 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,079 Speaker 1: care about everything, or you'll just sit very still. 250 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,439 Speaker 4: And face I know you really, you gotta pick your bottles. 251 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:10,680 Speaker 2: So it is. It's the it's the Hamlet problem, guys. 252 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 2: All right, it's gotta give me one. 253 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:16,640 Speaker 1: Well, speaking of plungers, man hospitalized for putting fifteen boiled 254 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: eggs up as butt. 255 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:24,080 Speaker 2: So this was sentenced mell boom. 256 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 1: That's the main question, right right. Uh, let me give 257 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 1: some credits real quick. See Underscore Scarps sent this in. 258 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 1: But we got a lot of eggs up the butts 259 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 1: from everybody. 260 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:35,880 Speaker 5: Uh. 261 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,840 Speaker 1: And this was written by the one and early Zachary 262 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,559 Speaker 1: Zane from out dot com. I mean in dot com 263 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,439 Speaker 1: sounds a little more accurate. 264 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 2: But out Zachane always sitting at the back of the class. 265 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,640 Speaker 2: You always getting called last. 266 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,559 Speaker 1: Yep. Hard to send this article to your parents, but 267 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,920 Speaker 1: they should be proud he is the best. For reasons 268 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 1: which remain unclear, it's pretty clear why this person is. 269 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 1: I don't know Zacharzane from out dot com, which I 270 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:12,360 Speaker 1: don't know if this is a predominantly gay website. 271 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 2: But I believe it is so Yeah, context clues, Yeah, 272 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:19,200 Speaker 2: I'm assuming it's for out magazine, but that might be 273 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 2: outmag dot com. 274 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,960 Speaker 1: You never know. For reasons which remain unclear. A man 275 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 1: living in the Netherlands jammed fifteen fifteen hard boiled eggs 276 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 1: up his rectum after taking GHB with his partner. 277 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 2: Oh so here's my question though, is that like it's fifteen, 278 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 2: so that means they went through that's. 279 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,200 Speaker 4: More than a dozen. How many eggs did they have 280 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 4: on hand? 281 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:48,560 Speaker 2: Fifteen rights in the Netherlands. 282 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,960 Speaker 4: Anyone listening from the Netherlands please weigh in how many 283 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 4: eggs come? Standard? Is right? 284 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 1: Maybe the strangest details who around the house has more 285 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,480 Speaker 1: than a dozen eggs, like I assume, I. 286 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 4: Mean it's you know what you said, it was Norway 287 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 4: or the Netherlands, Netherlands, Netherlands, that baby, that's like a 288 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 4: breakfast staple, so they pre boil a bunch of them. 289 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 4: Or did he like prepare fifteen eggs for this purpose 290 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,920 Speaker 4: or was that what was on hand really hot? 291 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,760 Speaker 1: It remains unclear. Laurel, the twenty nine year old man 292 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 1: caused a tear in his intestinal wall, leading to excruciating pain. 293 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 1: Coward upon being rushed to the hospital by his partner, 294 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,560 Speaker 1: What a drive. That must have been a drive for 295 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 1: the ages. The doctors noticed the patient had ooh, I'm 296 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 1: gonna go with tachycardia heart rate, taky cardia that was 297 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:50,640 Speaker 1: pretty close or tachiuh tack k pone ponia, pone panoia? 298 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: Who knows tacopenia rapid breathing? 299 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 4: Right? 300 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 1: Thank you, Laurel. I don't know what we would do 301 00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,760 Speaker 1: without you, especially. 302 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 4: Based so much. There's so much of this year that 303 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 4: I have had to double check pronunciation by sending voice 304 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 4: memos to doctor friends because I'm reading all this stuff 305 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,040 Speaker 4: alone in my apartment. 306 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,240 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know, Thank you. 307 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,120 Speaker 4: I don't want to say this. 308 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:13,920 Speaker 1: You're a life saver, and I don't think there's any 309 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 1: more coming up. One doctor, thank you. Which is high 310 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,080 Speaker 1: heart rate and rapid breathing. I guess if you have 311 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:25,560 Speaker 1: fifteen eggs up your your your boom boom, then you 312 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:29,119 Speaker 1: might have these symptoms, one doctor said quote. Physical examination 313 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 1: showed abdominal guarding over the entire stomach. At this point, 314 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:37,080 Speaker 1: a CT scan was performed, which showed a perforation of 315 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,400 Speaker 1: the pulvic colon and giant amounts of air and fluid 316 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 1: in his abdominal cavity. I don't think this is what 317 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 1: these gentlemen were going for. I hope, I certainly hope not. 318 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 4: I'm going to shell on. 319 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 1: Then if there was perforation shell on, it must be 320 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: shell on. 321 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,760 Speaker 2: But also here's the deal. It's like the fourteenth I 322 00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:01,360 Speaker 2: went up there, yes, KURTI yes, not enough? 323 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 1: Yes. 324 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,800 Speaker 2: The time The time that it takes to put fourteen 325 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 2: eggs up here, boiling eggs time, t It's look good 326 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:07,879 Speaker 2: amount of. 327 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:08,199 Speaker 1: Time, right? 328 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 4: What is that? There's a sexual fetish sure called like 329 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 4: ovalpositors or something where it's like there's there's like devices 330 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,399 Speaker 4: to like put jelly eggs up someone's rectum so that 331 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 4: they can like alien and like deposit them. I'm wondering 332 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:28,520 Speaker 4: if that's what. 333 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 2: Like he was going to do, was yeah up there, 334 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,440 Speaker 2: and then he was gonna. 335 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,160 Speaker 4: Like like an alien like you just like yeah, lay them. 336 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: And then he couldn't arely hosting a brunch and no 337 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,760 Speaker 1: one showed up. And then they had three or four 338 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,120 Speaker 1: dozen eggs and they're like, we got there's something with these. 339 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:48,760 Speaker 1: The two of us aren't gonna eat thirty six eights, 340 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 1: so we got fifteen left over. And then they just 341 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,400 Speaker 1: slowly turn and look at each other as the water 342 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:59,440 Speaker 1: boils on the stove. I'll just finish the article real quick. 343 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,520 Speaker 1: The eggs were removed as well as they could be, 344 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:05,160 Speaker 1: and the abdominal comedy was thoroughly rinsed. Thank goodness, must 345 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 1: have smelled grat in there, one of the doctors says. 346 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,840 Speaker 1: After the operation, the patient was monitored in the intensive 347 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,560 Speaker 1: care unit for only a short time, and after several 348 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:16,080 Speaker 1: days he was allowed to leave the hospital in clinically 349 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 1: good condition. Fifteen hard boiled eggs up the rectum um? 350 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, does you're right destroyed? Does that get stuff get destroyed? 351 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:26,359 Speaker 4: Now? 352 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: It must, right, burned. I kept like, kept like. 353 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 4: The stuff that's up people's booties. Yeah, well you wouldn't 354 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 4: keep the eggs on the eggs are they're gonna go bad? 355 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,040 Speaker 4: I don't know about like you know, like the wine 356 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,120 Speaker 4: bottles or the light bulbs or various. 357 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 2: We once have hard we once had. We originally had 358 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,640 Speaker 2: this idea for a show. We did it as a pie. 359 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 1: We made a pilot. 360 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:54,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, and uh, we had a segment called what's up 361 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:54,520 Speaker 2: your ass? 362 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 1: What's up your butt? Well, yeah, what's up your butt? 363 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:02,760 Speaker 2: And it was just are X rays from the people 364 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:06,080 Speaker 2: having and the most two of the most confusing ones 365 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,600 Speaker 2: ones was an EX body spray. 366 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 1: Yes, a can of X body spray spray. 367 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 2: I mean I can understand, I guess because it's like 368 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,680 Speaker 2: round and shaped a little bit like a dildo. But 369 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 2: then it pops anyway. But then the most confusing was. 370 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 1: Uh, was a buzz light your action figure light? 371 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:29,800 Speaker 2: Your action figure wings in or out? Wings out? 372 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 4: In? Oh? 373 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 1: Were they out? They were out? Oh for sure they 374 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 1: were out. That's how he knew it was buzz. Without that, 375 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 1: it would have just looked like an X body spray. 376 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 1: But yeah, buzz Lightyear and Kurt infinity and be ouch 377 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 1: that took us into a commercial break. Oh I love 378 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,480 Speaker 1: the idea of what you just said, though, Kurt, Like 379 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:53,840 Speaker 1: when at what point were they were either one of 380 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,919 Speaker 1: them like should we go for another one? And then 381 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,359 Speaker 1: the other on was like yeah, yeah, there was a 382 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 1: number that sent them to the hospital. Thirteen. They're still 383 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,919 Speaker 1: watching h Bridgerton. 384 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:12,080 Speaker 4: Well, Dave did sixteen. 385 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 1: So handsome David at sixteen. 386 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,479 Speaker 2: That would be crazy too. If it's just like, well, 387 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:21,000 Speaker 2: in the past we've done sixteen, eighteen, uh, and then 388 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,440 Speaker 2: this is the one time again. 389 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,760 Speaker 1: The buttholes doesn't fifteen eggs. I do love that because 390 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,400 Speaker 1: we all do that with eating. You do it with drinking, Yeah, 391 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,200 Speaker 1: you do it like there's that thing where we you know, 392 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:34,439 Speaker 1: when the great Chore is over and all back in bars. 393 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,440 Speaker 1: There's those nights where you're doing shots and drinks with 394 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,159 Speaker 1: your friends or another bottle of wine is open and 395 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:43,200 Speaker 1: you know you've reached your maximum, but you're having a 396 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,359 Speaker 1: good time and you look at that shot and you go, 397 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,359 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do I'm gonna do it, and you know 398 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,280 Speaker 1: it's gonna be But these guys went the other way, literally, 399 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:55,040 Speaker 1: And when I was a when I was an RA. 400 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,440 Speaker 1: I was a resident assistant in college my sophomore year, 401 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 1: they said if you uh, and for our international listeners, 402 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,200 Speaker 1: it's basically like I lived in the dormitories and I 403 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 1: was the person that if everything caught on fire, I 404 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,159 Speaker 1: was the one that here's the exits, and then I 405 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 1: had to do rounds. Sometimes. I got fifty dollars a week. 406 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 1: I got a double single, so I had a single 407 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,879 Speaker 1: dorm room for two just for me. And even though 408 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,520 Speaker 1: I was only eighteen and then turned nineteen and all 409 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:26,040 Speaker 1: my guys were I had twenty six freshman boys state school, 410 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 1: twenty four. Oh god, it was crazy. So I had 411 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,919 Speaker 1: one guy who was a med school student who had 412 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 1: a suite at the end of my hall named Mike. 413 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 1: He was a really nice guy, and the night before 414 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:42,679 Speaker 1: his big exam, he was so nervous he got drunk 415 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,160 Speaker 1: by himself in his room and one of my freshmen 416 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 1: boys knocks on my door and they're like, Scottie, Mike's 417 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,520 Speaker 1: in bad shape. And I go in and he's sitting 418 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,400 Speaker 1: on the floor crying like he's so overwhelmed with pressure. 419 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,680 Speaker 1: I think I think he finally cracked. And I'm like, 420 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,879 Speaker 1: Mike are you okay? He gouz. I just I'm so 421 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,680 Speaker 1: upset obscared, and I'm like, you're gonna be fine. And 422 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,160 Speaker 1: I'm like, how much does this guy have to drink? 423 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,520 Speaker 1: And they're like, he drank a whole bottless Sky vodka, 424 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:10,119 Speaker 1: you know, like Sky so college yea, And so my 425 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,920 Speaker 1: job is like do I call campus cops? Like do 426 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,960 Speaker 1: I call an ambulance? Do I call the fire departments? 427 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,960 Speaker 1: So I got to the point where I couldn't figure 428 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,359 Speaker 1: out how much he had drunk. But he was on 429 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,200 Speaker 1: the floor crying and like his eyes were rolling around, 430 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, this is bad. And I wasn't 431 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:28,600 Speaker 1: trying to get him in trouble because he had to 432 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,200 Speaker 1: have he was doing the exam the next day. So 433 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,639 Speaker 1: I call campus police and I go, hey, I'm an 434 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,440 Speaker 1: ra and Patterson. I'm on the first floor. One of 435 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,120 Speaker 1: my residents drank too much. And so while I'm sitting there, 436 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,360 Speaker 1: he's just pouring his heart out. He's a beautiful guy. 437 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 1: He ended up passing. I'll bury the lead and say 438 00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:45,920 Speaker 1: he passed the exam. 439 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,040 Speaker 4: Oh, I thought you mean he handed up like. 440 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,640 Speaker 1: Passing, he passed away. He passed away. 441 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,080 Speaker 4: In my arm build up to that. 442 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:58,920 Speaker 1: You didn't need to drop not my style. He died 443 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 1: in my arm. He died of my arms. Longest kiss 444 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:06,600 Speaker 1: of my life. So the police show up and Mike's 445 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 1: on the floor and he's a mess, but at this 446 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,960 Speaker 1: point he hadn't had a drink in like an hour 447 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,359 Speaker 1: and a half, so he's starting to come back around 448 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 1: and be alive. And these campus cops come in and 449 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,240 Speaker 1: they're like, sir, are you okay? And he goes, what 450 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,639 Speaker 1: are they doing here? Scottie? And I go, I had 451 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,440 Speaker 1: to call man. I was worried about you. I didn't 452 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,400 Speaker 1: want anything bad and I needed professional help. And he goes, 453 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,760 Speaker 1: what are they doing here? And he reaches over to 454 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:32,399 Speaker 1: his desk and he had a stuffed plush goose and 455 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,119 Speaker 1: they're like, stand up, sir, we need to take a 456 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:36,920 Speaker 1: look at you. And he grabs this goose and he 457 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:41,000 Speaker 1: squeezes it and he goes aflac and I'm like, here 458 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 1: we go, and the cops are like trying not to smile, 459 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,119 Speaker 1: and they're like, sir, you have to look at us. 460 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,920 Speaker 1: Can you follow this pen or this light or whatever? 461 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 1: And he squeezes it again and he goes aflac. And 462 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:58,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm eighteen years old. I'm like, here, where 463 00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:00,879 Speaker 1: you go? And then the cop was like sir. I 464 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,680 Speaker 1: was like, his name's Mike, and they're like, Mike, we 465 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,119 Speaker 1: need to know if we need to take you in 466 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,600 Speaker 1: or not. And he squeezes it and holds the goose 467 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,520 Speaker 1: or the duck or whatever right up to the CoP's 468 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,719 Speaker 1: face and on the third one it just goes ah fluck, 469 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:15,720 Speaker 1: and then the cops just start laughing. I start laughing. 470 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,040 Speaker 1: Mike starts laughing, and they looked at me and they're like, 471 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:21,240 Speaker 1: I think this guy's all right. I go okay, so 472 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,639 Speaker 1: they leave. I put him in bed. He passes the 473 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 1: text the thing, and he was so embarrassed. The next 474 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:30,040 Speaker 1: day he passes his exam. It was the best. And 475 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,680 Speaker 1: then two years later he had graduated, moved on. I 476 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 1: was a senior. I was at a Mexican restaurant and 477 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,920 Speaker 1: the waiter was like, hey, this is a you know, 478 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,720 Speaker 1: Cadillac Margarita sent from that table over there, and it 479 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,159 Speaker 1: was Mike and he was on a date. He was 480 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 1: in med school. He was like doing well in Boston 481 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,840 Speaker 1: or whatever. And I didn't even talk. He didn't even 482 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,000 Speaker 1: come say hey, you just sent me a margarita. But 483 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,680 Speaker 1: like the last conversation I had, this guy was squeezing 484 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,720 Speaker 1: an afflac duck in the face of two cops to 485 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:59,280 Speaker 1: prove he was sober. Oh, I love him. He was 486 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 1: the best. Mike. I hope you listen. 487 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 2: Message me, well, did you have any did you like 488 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:10,240 Speaker 2: your freshman roommate when you were in college? 489 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, my, my freshman suite was good. And then I 490 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,400 Speaker 4: became super close with the girls in a building over 491 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:21,800 Speaker 4: and that like that was like the start of my life, 492 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,760 Speaker 4: was hanging out with these girls in this adjoining suite 493 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,080 Speaker 4: towards the end of my freshman year and we all 494 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,680 Speaker 4: ended up like living together for the next three years. 495 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,640 Speaker 4: Like we have an active group chat. Still these are like, yeah, 496 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:37,159 Speaker 4: my like tight tight friends, and that's like shanigans, Like 497 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,560 Speaker 4: you're talking about this aflac duck and it's just like 498 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:44,560 Speaker 4: me thinking about everything that we got into in college 499 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 4: and just like the absolute nightmare we were to deal with. 500 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 4: Like Laurel, I went to you see San Diego? Oh fun, No, no, 501 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,720 Speaker 4: you see San Diego now San Diego State. So we're 502 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 4: we had license plate frames that said the smart ones. 503 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,920 Speaker 4: Oh really, San Diego State was where you go to 504 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:06,480 Speaker 4: have fun, and you see San Diego. It's a bunch 505 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:11,879 Speaker 4: of freaking nerds, but it's okay. We they like, we 506 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:13,920 Speaker 4: had really good friends who had a house that was 507 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 4: next door to a house that a bunch of like 508 00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:18,840 Speaker 4: frat guys lived in, because you can't have fraternities in 509 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,120 Speaker 4: La Joya. Any like residence with more than five people 510 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,119 Speaker 4: of the same gender is considered a brothel. It's like 511 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:29,760 Speaker 4: they're old, wouldn't it be. We'd be over at our 512 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:32,040 Speaker 4: friend's house and there'd be like a mixer next door 513 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 4: between like Sigma Nu and Delta Gamma or something, and 514 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 4: we would just show up in pajamas and like just 515 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,439 Speaker 4: getting drunk and partying. My friend, Emily was who actually 516 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,600 Speaker 4: listens to this podcast, so this will be really fun 517 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 4: for her to hear you're the best. She I have 518 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,320 Speaker 4: a very vivid memory of being at one of their 519 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 4: mixers that was I can't remember what the theme was, 520 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,440 Speaker 4: but it was something themed. They're all dressed up and 521 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,160 Speaker 4: Emily's wearing her PJ pants and a Rancid T shirt 522 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,640 Speaker 4: and her little beanie Rancid. 523 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,800 Speaker 2: That's a perfect, that's a perfect. 524 00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:11,200 Speaker 4: And she's dancing with one of our friends and she 525 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,119 Speaker 4: looks at me and she goes, I don't have to 526 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,480 Speaker 4: be dressed like a hoe to dance like one. 527 00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,640 Speaker 1: Topical that's so amazing. 528 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:21,399 Speaker 4: As you. 529 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:23,919 Speaker 1: I will have to say my dad was Sigma New 530 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,000 Speaker 1: because my parents listening to the podcast. If I don't, 531 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,399 Speaker 1: they'll think something's wrong with me. 532 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:32,320 Speaker 4: But I weknew so much in college. None of us 533 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,399 Speaker 4: were here we go sororities. But one of our friends, 534 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,240 Speaker 4: her brother was a super senior and he had been 535 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:39,840 Speaker 4: Sigma Nu, and so we just went to all of 536 00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 4: their parties and just shenanigans. It was great. 537 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:45,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, college was fun. 538 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,480 Speaker 4: If you're listening to this and you hate high school, 539 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:49,200 Speaker 4: remember that college is so much better. 540 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, don't worry about high school at all. High school, 541 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,840 Speaker 1: just get out of there and move on. Your life 542 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,879 Speaker 1: is going to be excellent. Don't. High school is nothing. 543 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,280 Speaker 1: It's a blip. Get through it. Move on. 544 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,760 Speaker 2: All right before we're gonna take a little break. I 545 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:09,159 Speaker 2: don't have a title. You don't know because it's a 546 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:10,760 Speaker 2: it's a it's a it's. 547 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:11,440 Speaker 1: A found letter. 548 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,680 Speaker 2: It's gonna be pretty great. I'm excited to read it. 549 00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,080 Speaker 1: Look at you teas and all of us. So from 550 00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:18,640 Speaker 1: the big teas, we'll be back with a little bit more. 551 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:50,720 Speaker 2: If you, ladies and gentlemen, we're back at Bananas. 552 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:52,240 Speaker 1: Listen. 553 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,280 Speaker 2: If you're listening right now, if you enjoy the podcast, 554 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,680 Speaker 2: if it makes you giggle even a little bit. 555 00:28:59,040 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 1: Just stop right now. 556 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, just go over, go to Apple Podcasts and rate 557 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,600 Speaker 2: and review. I hate saying it, but it does. 558 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:07,880 Speaker 4: I'll give it. 559 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:08,760 Speaker 1: I'll thank you. 560 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,760 Speaker 2: Knows, and then come on follow us on Instagram and 561 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,520 Speaker 2: dm us The Bananas Podcast on Instagram and dm us 562 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:22,480 Speaker 2: your strange news and your weird bananas stories, your pal 563 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 2: banana stories, because we'll put them in some minisodes where 564 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 2: we tell your stories and then our stories. 565 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,880 Speaker 1: That's true. And our guest is the wonderful Laura Bristow. 566 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,360 Speaker 1: And Laurel is the only guest we've ever had that 567 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:39,720 Speaker 1: also called the Banana Phone. Laurel on the Banana Phone. 568 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,480 Speaker 1: I think she was testing us to see if it 569 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:43,120 Speaker 1: was real or bogus. I was. 570 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,240 Speaker 4: It was great, Scotty and I actually he answered and 571 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,000 Speaker 4: like I obviously I don't know Scotty outside of the 572 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,600 Speaker 4: Bananas Podcast interctions. 573 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:53,479 Speaker 1: But he was like zoom buddies. 574 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,400 Speaker 4: He was on like he had his she had his 575 00:29:56,680 --> 00:30:00,760 Speaker 4: radio voice going. When he answered that's great. I felt 576 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,800 Speaker 4: special though I got more than the prescribed minute because 577 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:04,840 Speaker 4: we were just chit chatting. 578 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,400 Speaker 1: But the banana phone is real buds at this point 579 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,520 Speaker 1: two on three do it, Kurt, I like the way 580 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,040 Speaker 1: you do it. Nope, you do it? Two one three 581 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:19,160 Speaker 1: two one four seven nine seven four. Uh, It's okay, 582 00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,240 Speaker 1: I do And it has been ringing off the hook 583 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,440 Speaker 1: and keep calling me. And if you don't get through, 584 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 1: that's okay, that's life. I will answer it. We have 585 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:31,480 Speaker 1: it until August, so you got time. And I just 586 00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,640 Speaker 1: want to give a shout out Kurt to us. Speaking 587 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:37,080 Speaker 1: of five star reviews, a few podcasts ago, I don't 588 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,840 Speaker 1: remember who was on, but we said we never had 589 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:45,040 Speaker 1: anyone from Japan reach out. Yes, well we did. Always 590 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:50,440 Speaker 1: Angie did. And it's a the number one weighs. Angie 591 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,480 Speaker 1: from Japan. She's American, but she's lived in Japan since 592 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:57,120 Speaker 1: I think ninety two, and she signed up for Apple 593 00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:59,520 Speaker 1: Podcasts just to leave us a five star review. She's 594 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 1: never ever left a review for a podcast ever before. 595 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,240 Speaker 1: She's getting Banana of the Week. Sorry, She's getting Banana 596 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:11,000 Speaker 1: the week right off the bat and bow. We didn't 597 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:12,960 Speaker 1: discuss this. You didn't know this was coming, but thank 598 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:16,600 Speaker 1: you so much. We really appreciate it, and we appreciate 599 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:18,240 Speaker 1: all the Banan animals who are just telling people word 600 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:19,640 Speaker 1: of mouth. We have a lot of people saying I 601 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:25,240 Speaker 1: just started listening. Welcome. Now let's get back into the dumb, 602 00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 1: dumb stuff. And this secretive letter that Kurt is teasing 603 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:29,640 Speaker 1: us so strongly with. 604 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:31,560 Speaker 2: Made me very happy. 605 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 1: I'm glad. 606 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:36,800 Speaker 2: I love I love found letters, found objects. I love 607 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,960 Speaker 2: things found where. You don't know the full story. This 608 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:48,400 Speaker 2: was posted okay our friend Jonathan Doyle Johnny Instagram from Williamsburg. 609 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 2: He found it in Williamsburg. I didn't talk to him 610 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,320 Speaker 2: about this. I should have called him and asked him 611 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:54,480 Speaker 2: what the story was about. 612 00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 1: Doyle. We he just posted it. Here we go. 613 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:01,440 Speaker 2: Now, this is written on if you can see Laurel, 614 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:02,160 Speaker 2: can you read that? 615 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,040 Speaker 4: Oh, there we go. That's a good ale a cocktail. 616 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:09,400 Speaker 2: No, it's written on what looks like a bag. 617 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:14,360 Speaker 4: Speaking of cocktails, I'm gonna listen and also get a Yeah. 618 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,200 Speaker 1: I freshened up keeping. 619 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:17,920 Speaker 2: I freshened up as well. 620 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:18,280 Speaker 1: Here it is. 621 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:24,880 Speaker 2: It says this is written on the bag. Okay, Like 622 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:30,960 Speaker 2: the bag is like crinkled, fucked up, it's got stains 623 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:31,480 Speaker 2: on a. 624 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,440 Speaker 1: To go bagh. 625 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:36,760 Speaker 2: It's not even that, it's like a wax paper bag. 626 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:38,440 Speaker 1: Like Okay, I got the visual. 627 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:45,760 Speaker 2: Dear Benny, I fell victim to hashtag bong life and 628 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 2: ate and ate your crab rangoon. But I went back 629 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:55,520 Speaker 2: and put a carrot and then all so and ate 630 00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:01,560 Speaker 2: all your crab rangoon. For that, I am so underscore. Sorry. 631 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:08,520 Speaker 2: I owe you the letters one million rangoon h Comma 632 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:14,120 Speaker 2: beyond that comma this this reminded me of all our 633 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,320 Speaker 2: baller ass trips to Happy Walk and that makes me 634 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:22,800 Speaker 2: so happy, so happy. We're friends to the million more 635 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:28,280 Speaker 2: rangoon to home xo Xo never signs his name. Ps 636 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,520 Speaker 2: Bezy says it's her fault for giving them to me, 637 00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 2: is not I hate them myself. 638 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:35,960 Speaker 1: Oh Bezy. 639 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:40,000 Speaker 2: And it is written on the bag that contained the 640 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:45,560 Speaker 2: crab rangoons. Wow, I love so much And this reminds me. 641 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:50,400 Speaker 2: This reminded me of somebody. Oh h Scotty had Oh 642 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,960 Speaker 2: boys are my very good friend Chris love him the most. 643 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:58,120 Speaker 2: He used to be Scotty's roommate. Yes and Chris would 644 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,880 Speaker 2: do this thing. On Friday night, he would buy a 645 00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:05,560 Speaker 2: bunch of Chinese food, Yes, and enough so that he 646 00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,719 Speaker 2: had Chinese food for like a couple of days. 647 00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:13,200 Speaker 1: For Monday Tuesday. Right, that's right, that's rights. Also, it 648 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,160 Speaker 1: makes sense because in New York in the when the 649 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:20,240 Speaker 1: weather's shitty in Brooklyn, you get delivery like nobody's business. 650 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:24,800 Speaker 1: And if you like a place, instead of ordering multiple times, 651 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:28,279 Speaker 1: sometimes you double down and just set yourself up the week. 652 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,560 Speaker 1: It's it's business. It's common sense. 653 00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:32,960 Speaker 4: You know. That's called that's called meal planning. 654 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:37,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, meal planning, Laurel, did you ever have Do you 655 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:38,080 Speaker 2: ever have roommates? 656 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:42,640 Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, I had, I've had roommates for this, Like 657 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:44,960 Speaker 4: when I moved to Atlanta was the first time living alone. 658 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:52,960 Speaker 4: College roommates were great. College roommates so funny, like you 659 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,880 Speaker 4: miss that experience of just being able to like live 660 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,120 Speaker 4: in the same neighborhood. And so in the morning, like 661 00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:01,279 Speaker 4: you have a huge night out and and beautiful, you 662 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:05,280 Speaker 4: stumble into your roommate's bed and then your friend comes 663 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,759 Speaker 4: over like with sunglasses on, hungover a ship to like 664 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:12,320 Speaker 4: talk about what happened last night, Like you live everything 665 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:15,279 Speaker 4: that was just fun. And then in San Francisco, I 666 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:19,160 Speaker 4: had roommates too for the five years that I lived there, 667 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:21,520 Speaker 4: and that was really funny because we were all different, 668 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:24,279 Speaker 4: but we all like when we were drinking. Yeah, it 669 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:27,759 Speaker 4: was like we didn't hang out necessarily all together. But 670 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:29,400 Speaker 4: then you all end up in the kitchen at the 671 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:29,879 Speaker 4: same time. 672 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,200 Speaker 1: Great, and it's so fun and people like, have you 673 00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,480 Speaker 1: ever had celery and peanut butter before? You're like, no, 674 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:38,560 Speaker 1: but I'm gonna eat it all. It's like it's fun, 675 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:39,440 Speaker 1: Yeah I do. 676 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:43,520 Speaker 4: I love drunk scracking. I love drunk Yes, me too, 677 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,480 Speaker 4: And just like what can I make? What's like you 678 00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,759 Speaker 4: open the fridge and you're just like squinting with one 679 00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:50,680 Speaker 4: eye and you're like, okay, it's a case to be your. 680 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:54,719 Speaker 1: Time, let's do it. Yes, that's right. Anything left over, 681 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,360 Speaker 1: like you're like my finch. 682 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:01,320 Speaker 4: So when I first this became my tradition. When I 683 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,000 Speaker 4: first moved into my place in San Francisco, both of 684 00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:07,320 Speaker 4: my roommates were on academic schedules, so they would go 685 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,680 Speaker 4: they'd be gone for two weeks, right, because they had 686 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,400 Speaker 4: like a two week break. One was a teacher and 687 00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:15,600 Speaker 4: one was in doing his PhD. So I moved in 688 00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,600 Speaker 4: December first, and then they were like two weeks later 689 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:20,640 Speaker 4: they were gone, and it was just me in the apartment. 690 00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 4: This new apartment the best, which is the best, but 691 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,719 Speaker 4: also like I was kind of nervous because we talked 692 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,400 Speaker 4: about how we use the heat because at San Francisco 693 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,040 Speaker 4: you don't really me too, but I was. 694 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:35,320 Speaker 1: Alway, can't to use the heat? Yeah, it's cold in June. 695 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:36,680 Speaker 4: I was like I can't. I was like, oh no, 696 00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:38,160 Speaker 4: I can't turn I can't turn the heat on. I 697 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,480 Speaker 4: don't want to turn the heat on. I just moved in. 698 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:45,560 Speaker 4: So I come home from New Year's Eve just totally hammered, 699 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:49,520 Speaker 4: and I was like, I'm freezing cold? What do I do? 700 00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:51,600 Speaker 4: I was like, I want to get in the back 701 00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,480 Speaker 4: to warm up, but I don't want to fall asleep 702 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,359 Speaker 4: and die in the back. How do I stay away? 703 00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:00,040 Speaker 4: Eat a pizza while you're in the back. Yeah, And 704 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,719 Speaker 4: my New Year's Eve tradition, no matter where I am 705 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,560 Speaker 4: when I get home, pizza in the bath. 706 00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:06,840 Speaker 2: Oh that's so great, is it? 707 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:07,080 Speaker 1: Not? 708 00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:07,880 Speaker 4: Is it? 709 00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:12,880 Speaker 2: Is it not uncomfortable to get that hot with a 710 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,000 Speaker 2: food in your belly? 711 00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:14,759 Speaker 4: No? 712 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:15,480 Speaker 1: I lost it. 713 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:21,360 Speaker 4: That's great. I wouldn't have been doing it for the 714 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,160 Speaker 4: last eight years if I didn't enjoy it. 715 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,839 Speaker 1: Kurt, So hold on, that was New Year's Eve. That's your. 716 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:28,680 Speaker 3: God. 717 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,879 Speaker 2: That just reminded me of this story. I will tell 718 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:33,600 Speaker 2: you this and then we will we have to move on. 719 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,840 Speaker 1: Who cares anything? It's our podcast. 720 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:42,120 Speaker 2: When I was twenty two, I grad graduated college and 721 00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:46,440 Speaker 2: I drove across country back and forth. Classic thing to 722 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:47,800 Speaker 2: do after I spend a month. 723 00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:50,680 Speaker 1: In the woods. Yeah, you got to see the world world. 724 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:57,160 Speaker 2: And I get to Vegas. My uncles, my uncles, all 725 00:37:57,239 --> 00:37:59,680 Speaker 2: of my uncles or two of my uncles were like 726 00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:00,840 Speaker 2: big time gamblers. 727 00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:02,320 Speaker 1: Sure good trade. 728 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,640 Speaker 2: Yeah a just classic Jersey gamblers. They would go to 729 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:07,600 Speaker 2: Atlantic City all the time. 730 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:08,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. 731 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:12,240 Speaker 2: So my uncle Lee is like, you're going to Vegas. 732 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:17,960 Speaker 2: He's like, go to this specific casino and ask for 733 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:21,200 Speaker 2: my buddy. I've told him you're coming. He'll set you up. 734 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:23,960 Speaker 2: His name is Friendy Dejon. 735 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,880 Speaker 1: Kidding me, I am not kidding. 736 00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:32,560 Speaker 2: His name is Friendy Dejon. And when I got there, 737 00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,600 Speaker 2: he had a like a label on that said Friendy Dejon. 738 00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,319 Speaker 2: Well you have to At some point I get there 739 00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:41,560 Speaker 2: and I'm like, hi is Friendy Dejon there and he's like, 740 00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:45,680 Speaker 2: I'm friendly, Dejean, You're Lee's nephew. We're gonna set you up. 741 00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:46,080 Speaker 1: Pal. 742 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:50,720 Speaker 2: So my uncle Lee must have gambled millions of dollars 743 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:54,640 Speaker 2: away love. And so they give us a free hotel room. 744 00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:58,279 Speaker 2: They give us for three days we were there. They 745 00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:02,359 Speaker 2: give us twenty one one hundred dollars for a young 746 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:06,680 Speaker 2: person that you are too, I literally have two thousand 747 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,120 Speaker 2: dollars for the three months that we're traveling. 748 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,359 Speaker 1: I didn't have two thousand dollars thirty one years old. 749 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:13,800 Speaker 1: That's incredible. 750 00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:17,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, So it's two thousand dollars for three days. So 751 00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:22,560 Speaker 2: we are and that covers drinks, boom covers food, covers 752 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,759 Speaker 2: drinks and food. But the moment that I was there 753 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:30,759 Speaker 2: with my college girlfriend, we get up to the room, 754 00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:35,520 Speaker 2: the very first thing we do is order room service, 755 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,840 Speaker 2: and we just order everything. We earn a steak and 756 00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:40,640 Speaker 2: lobster and cake. 757 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,759 Speaker 1: This is actually really cute, and we filled. 758 00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,799 Speaker 2: Up the bathtub and we got in the bathtub an 759 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:52,680 Speaker 2: ate cake and lobster and steak, and it was amazing. Yeah, 760 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:54,959 Speaker 2: living And then for the next three days we only 761 00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:58,120 Speaker 2: we just stayed at that hotel because we had free money. 762 00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:00,200 Speaker 2: So we just drank and ate and ate and eight 763 00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:03,880 Speaker 2: and eight, and then I was tipping. I was like, 764 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,520 Speaker 2: we're never gonna be able to go through all this 765 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:09,120 Speaker 2: money in three days. We're gonna just I was tip curd. 766 00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:13,760 Speaker 2: I was tipping one hundred percent, No, one hundred percent. 767 00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:15,840 Speaker 2: Like the meal would come in, it would be like 768 00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:19,040 Speaker 2: one hundred and fifty two hundred dollars. I'm like, here's 769 00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:22,239 Speaker 2: a two hundred dollars tip up your butt. 770 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:27,000 Speaker 4: Favorite thing. I was a bartender not too long ago, 771 00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,839 Speaker 4: and so since then, it's like when I go out, 772 00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:33,040 Speaker 4: I like tip, and then it just turns into a 773 00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:35,279 Speaker 4: cycle because you get taken care of and you take 774 00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:38,000 Speaker 4: care of that, then everybody's happy. But yeah, like that's 775 00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:41,440 Speaker 4: my favorite, Like like tipping hard. 776 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:44,200 Speaker 1: It makes such a difference. Oh, the Banana Boys tip 777 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:47,319 Speaker 1: big feel like we do. It was a bad boy 778 00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:51,120 Speaker 1: now and it felt really good. It felt so great. 779 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:53,600 Speaker 1: I know, I loved it. I go to check out 780 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,759 Speaker 1: three days of doing oh, I know where this is going. 781 00:40:57,200 --> 00:41:01,880 Speaker 2: You know exactly where it's going, and tipping, oh is 782 00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:05,960 Speaker 2: not covered by the hotel. And I had been tipping 783 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:10,840 Speaker 2: one hundred on everything I did so. Then I owed 784 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:15,680 Speaker 2: like fifteen hundred dollars and it was all the money 785 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:17,520 Speaker 2: I had for the rest of the trip. 786 00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:19,239 Speaker 1: I blew. 787 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,799 Speaker 2: I thought this was just like this amazing, like. 788 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:26,000 Speaker 4: A indeed goes unpunished. 789 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,839 Speaker 2: And then all of the money was gone. I had 790 00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:28,840 Speaker 2: to borrow money for. 791 00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,320 Speaker 1: The trip. Oh, but you did the right thing. You 792 00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:37,279 Speaker 1: paid it forward. It's coming back. Yeah, dude, that is so. 793 00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:41,560 Speaker 1: And also for our young bananimals. Or if you are 794 00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,960 Speaker 1: ever staying in a hotel for an extended period time, 795 00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:49,160 Speaker 1: never used the hotel laundry service, hotel laundry, you might 796 00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,959 Speaker 1: not know this is the most expensive thing in the world. 797 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:57,000 Speaker 1: You're better off buying yourself used cars repeatedly. You could. 798 00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:59,719 Speaker 1: You could wear a Dodge Neon for less than you 799 00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:03,720 Speaker 1: can get like five pairs of underwear and six hotel laundry. 800 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:07,920 Speaker 1: Way overpriced. If your New Orleans go to SuDS and DUTs. 801 00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:09,560 Speaker 2: Give us story. 802 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:14,000 Speaker 1: Scottie Stagger Lee double Underscore something sent this in Stagger's 803 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,680 Speaker 1: sent a few things and I think his named Steve 804 00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,520 Speaker 1: Schinner or Shinery Center before Hey, homeboy. This was written 805 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:24,520 Speaker 1: by Janelle Shane on her substack. Does anybody know what 806 00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:30,240 Speaker 1: a substack is no great because you two are smarter 807 00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:33,080 Speaker 1: than me. And I didn't know. I think it's like Tumblr, 808 00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:35,960 Speaker 1: but I don't know. And Janelle is a very smart woman. 809 00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:40,040 Speaker 1: Janelle Shane dot stubsack dot com, best in the business, 810 00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:44,319 Speaker 1: probably the greatest writer about this subject that I've ever read. 811 00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:50,360 Speaker 1: So the headline is not funny. It's g p T 812 00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:57,240 Speaker 1: DASH three tries pickup lines. G p T three sands 813 00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:02,400 Speaker 1: for generative pre Trained Transformer. It is an autoregressive language 814 00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,520 Speaker 1: model that uses deep learning to produce human like text. 815 00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:06,960 Speaker 1: It's a smart computer. 816 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:11,720 Speaker 2: Boom AI hit A. It's ai AI that hits on people. 817 00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:16,319 Speaker 1: And CURDIEB I did this one for you, Laurel. Did 818 00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,600 Speaker 1: I lose you? I've just said nine hundred things. 819 00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:21,040 Speaker 4: No, no, no, I'm excited. I would like to hear 820 00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:24,480 Speaker 4: what these generated pickup lines are because they're probably a 821 00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,800 Speaker 4: lot better than what some human intelligence is working on. 822 00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:31,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, we're gonna need you to service up some hot, 823 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:35,120 Speaker 1: hot hot pickup Linds that you've been offered in your life. 824 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:37,560 Speaker 1: That I hope you dumped a pictuer of beer over 825 00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:41,680 Speaker 1: some person's head. So, yeah, this is a smart computer, 826 00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:44,920 Speaker 1: this is learning technology. This is some terminator two stuff. 827 00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,239 Speaker 1: Once upon a time again, this is Janelle Shane, best 828 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,520 Speaker 1: in the business. Love her. Didn't know what substack was. 829 00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:55,239 Speaker 1: Go to her substack Janelle dot Janelle Shane dot substack 830 00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:58,919 Speaker 1: dot com. Huge Just again, it seems huge and real. 831 00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:06,160 Speaker 1: TikTok dot revolution. Okay. Once upon a time I decided 832 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:10,160 Speaker 1: to train a neural net to generate pickup lines. I'm 833 00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:13,480 Speaker 1: already lost. Once I started collecting the training data, I 834 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:15,880 Speaker 1: began to regret it when I saw how awful the 835 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:19,640 Speaker 1: existing lines were. Turns out, I needn't have to worry, 836 00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:23,200 Speaker 1: needn't sure. The neural net I was using was so 837 00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:27,080 Speaker 1: small and so clueless that its pickup lines were mostly 838 00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:32,480 Speaker 1: incoherent and confusing. Such as, So this is artificial intelligence 839 00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:35,560 Speaker 1: for anybody. I've said so many things, artificial intelligence creating 840 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,880 Speaker 1: its own pickup lines. You must be a triangle because 841 00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:42,560 Speaker 1: you're the only thing here. Or are you a candle? 842 00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:46,240 Speaker 1: I know these are incredible. Are you a candle? Because 843 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,759 Speaker 1: you're so hot? Of the looks with you? So she 844 00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:53,000 Speaker 1: like Janelle liked this so much as she wrote a 845 00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,600 Speaker 1: book on AI called you look like a thing and 846 00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,799 Speaker 1: I love you. It's a great title for a book, Yeah, 847 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:04,560 Speaker 1: Philip K. Dick level. So I started with the following 848 00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:08,400 Speaker 1: prompt for a neural net to fill in its prediction 849 00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:11,840 Speaker 1: of what the rest of the article would be like. Quote. 850 00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:16,200 Speaker 1: This is the prompt. Quote. These are the top pickup 851 00:45:16,239 --> 00:45:19,760 Speaker 1: lines of twenty twenty one. Exclamation point a mazer crush 852 00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:25,160 Speaker 1: and get results exclamation point number one period end quote. 853 00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:27,600 Speaker 1: I gave the prompt to four variants of what people 854 00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:32,440 Speaker 1: called the prompt crush A major crush. These are the 855 00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:36,440 Speaker 1: top pickup lines insure okay to four variants of what 856 00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:41,120 Speaker 1: people call GPT three, starting with Da Vinci, the smartest, 857 00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:45,120 Speaker 1: the largest, and most competent. Here's some of the pickup 858 00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:49,600 Speaker 1: lines Da Vinci created. Oh boy, I'm gonna try to 859 00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:53,280 Speaker 1: get through this. Here pickup lines from a computer, a robot, 860 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:57,200 Speaker 1: human being. I'm losing my voice from all the screaming. 861 00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:58,799 Speaker 1: Your hotness is causing. 862 00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:04,799 Speaker 4: Me to do that would work on me? I'm gonna 863 00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,279 Speaker 4: I'm just gonna rate. Would this work? Would this not work? 864 00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:08,000 Speaker 4: That would work? 865 00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:13,600 Speaker 1: Yes? I love you? Okay, number two, I love you. 866 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:15,959 Speaker 1: I don't care if you're a dog in a trench coat. 867 00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,920 Speaker 1: No woman wants to be called a dog. Oh nobody. 868 00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:25,359 Speaker 4: The trench coat might bring it back. Like. At first, 869 00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:27,239 Speaker 4: I was like, no way, but then he added a 870 00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:30,759 Speaker 4: dog in a trench coat and I was like, history, 871 00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:33,359 Speaker 4: Yes it would work. 872 00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:37,160 Speaker 2: That is that's an AI trying nagging that. 873 00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:38,120 Speaker 5: Yes, that is. 874 00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:43,000 Speaker 1: Okay, Kurt. You got to vote to Kurt and Laurel 875 00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:46,359 Speaker 1: are voting on would this work if a let's say, 876 00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:50,759 Speaker 1: a above average attractive person walked up to at a. 877 00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:54,800 Speaker 4: Crowded bar, but he's wearing a wide brimmed hat cart Okay. 878 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:55,399 Speaker 1: You look. 879 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,719 Speaker 2: My only wet dream in my entire life was me 880 00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,279 Speaker 2: in a pool in a base ship having sex with 881 00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:05,799 Speaker 2: a robot with one breast in a wetsuit and made 882 00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:11,400 Speaker 2: anti boob one boob. 883 00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:15,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, the anti mary. Uh. Here's another one for you, 884 00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:19,960 Speaker 1: two lovely people. You have a lovely face. Can I 885 00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:21,960 Speaker 1: put it on an air freshener. I want to keep 886 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:23,480 Speaker 1: your smell close to me always. 887 00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:28,680 Speaker 4: Nope, Nope, nope, nope. Serial killer immediate, immediate, Laurels out. 888 00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:30,080 Speaker 2: Kurt, Kurt, I'm in. 889 00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:34,560 Speaker 1: That was creative, okay uh And these are Da Vinci 890 00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:36,840 Speaker 1: by the way, this is the best I'm going to 891 00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,000 Speaker 1: go down the dumber ones as we go. 892 00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:42,360 Speaker 4: I'm gonna like the dumber ones more knowing me. 893 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:48,719 Speaker 1: Me too, Laurel. Me, here's the last DaVinci I'll read. 894 00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:53,160 Speaker 1: You look like if Jesus if he were a butler 895 00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:58,440 Speaker 1: in a Russian mansion. You look like if Jesus if 896 00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:01,440 Speaker 1: he were a butler in a Russian mansion. So he 897 00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:07,000 Speaker 1: slides up next to you at the wreck room, at 898 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:11,040 Speaker 1: the goat, at the earl, and he goes, Laurel, you 899 00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:15,400 Speaker 1: look like if Jesus if he were a butler Russian mansion. 900 00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:21,759 Speaker 4: No, nope, no, I don't think No, I don't understand it, 901 00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:22,320 Speaker 4: but I hate it. 902 00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:27,720 Speaker 1: Great next to Currie, I'm guessing after Marie Curie. Smaller 903 00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:33,800 Speaker 1: than Da Vinci, but closer to depressing online pickups that 904 00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:35,920 Speaker 1: you know looked up. Okay, here we go. Give you 905 00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:40,640 Speaker 1: a couple of these. Hey, this is a robot. Hey, 906 00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,160 Speaker 1: my name is John Smith. Will you sit on my 907 00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:46,480 Speaker 1: bread box while I cook? Or is there some kind 908 00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:54,200 Speaker 1: of speed limit on that thing? Some kind of speed 909 00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:54,759 Speaker 1: limit on that. 910 00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,839 Speaker 4: A a bar and said that I would ask them 911 00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:01,440 Speaker 4: to raise both rs over their head to check if 912 00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:02,360 Speaker 4: they're having a stroke. 913 00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:08,799 Speaker 1: Yeah, that my bread My name is John Smith. Will 914 00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:10,719 Speaker 1: you sit on my bread box while the cook or 915 00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:13,040 Speaker 1: is there some kind of speed limit on that thing? 916 00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:19,200 Speaker 1: K Kurt's in kirk Gott, Yes, Laurel, Laurel's going stroke. 917 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:23,360 Speaker 4: I'm going stroke protocol okay, oh. 918 00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:30,480 Speaker 1: Man, Also, so this is yeah, Curtie's crying. So Curie, 919 00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,360 Speaker 1: I'll give one other Curiy. Then I'll move down to Babbage. 920 00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:34,879 Speaker 1: Get ready for Babbage, y'all. 921 00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:40,160 Speaker 2: Oh, this should have been the first thing you brought up. 922 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:45,080 Speaker 1: I think this is gonna. We're going in and yes, okay, 923 00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:48,640 Speaker 1: this is from Currie the robot who's walking up to 924 00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:51,000 Speaker 1: you in a bar. As soon as the Great quarr 925 00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:53,439 Speaker 1: is over and Currie. 926 00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:57,880 Speaker 2: Leans in ship oneasy, let's go, probably holding a stella, 927 00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:00,839 Speaker 2: you know something that everybody drinks. 928 00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:08,080 Speaker 1: And says. Picked up some pretty flowers. I want to 929 00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:11,960 Speaker 1: smell them here. Try to take my hand off. I mean, 930 00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:15,000 Speaker 1: this is so fun. I want to smell them here. 931 00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:18,400 Speaker 1: Try to take my hand off. Your eyes look like 932 00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:21,799 Speaker 1: two rainbows and a rainbow of eyes. I cannot help 933 00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:24,520 Speaker 1: but stare. Laurel. 934 00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:26,120 Speaker 4: I like it. 935 00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:31,160 Speaker 1: I'm for it, CURTI I'm gonna. 936 00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:32,600 Speaker 2: I'm gonna. I'll say yes. 937 00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:37,960 Speaker 4: At the unpacked I think I would be overwhelmed by 938 00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:40,440 Speaker 4: trying to get through it that I would just come immediately. 939 00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:47,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, Babbage, Janelle warns, is that Babbage is trying that 940 00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:51,960 Speaker 1: those are her words, babbit just trying smaller. Babbage is 941 00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:57,360 Speaker 1: just it's just the low can smaller than curate. 942 00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:04,480 Speaker 2: Even AI scientists can't help but ascribe anthropomorphic things. They're bullying, 943 00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:08,680 Speaker 2: they're punching down, just doing the exact same thing with 944 00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:09,920 Speaker 2: different data sets. 945 00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:16,120 Speaker 1: Babbage smaller than Curia, not always one sure what it 946 00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:20,600 Speaker 1: means to be generating bickap So this little thinker, this 947 00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:22,640 Speaker 1: little guy's got a hammered to the head a couple 948 00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:26,719 Speaker 1: of times. First one, Babbage slides up to you at 949 00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:33,240 Speaker 1: the bar. It is urgent that you become a professional athlete. 950 00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:38,200 Speaker 1: That's it. It is urgent that you become a professional athlete. 951 00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:38,920 Speaker 2: Whole thing. 952 00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:42,720 Speaker 4: That would draw me into a conversation for sure, though, Okay, 953 00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:45,040 Speaker 4: Like if someone was like, urgent that you become a 954 00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:46,480 Speaker 4: professional athlete, I would be like. 955 00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:50,239 Speaker 2: Right, yeah, I'm in. 956 00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:58,799 Speaker 1: Technique. So far Babbage is peacocking with that. Got the boy, Yes, 957 00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:05,839 Speaker 1: parentheses in you more, there's more or this one, there's 958 00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:09,279 Speaker 1: I'm ending on Babbage don't worry. Babbage is gonna wrap 959 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:09,879 Speaker 1: it up tight. 960 00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:13,520 Speaker 4: This is a continuation of the same pickup line. 961 00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:17,759 Speaker 1: No they I'm going to give you. These are Babbage's 962 00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:20,839 Speaker 1: for pickup lines. One was it is urgent you become 963 00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:26,400 Speaker 1: a professional athlete. Number two Babbage is wearing a vertically 964 00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:29,840 Speaker 1: striped shirt. It's probably got sketches boots on. He's probably 965 00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:35,080 Speaker 1: wearing paper mache jeans. Is that something? No paper ten, 966 00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:36,200 Speaker 1: I'm drunk. 967 00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:38,720 Speaker 2: I love the idea that there's paper mache jeans. 968 00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:45,560 Speaker 1: Me too. Just follow get right off, don't spill uh 969 00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:50,800 Speaker 1: parenthesies in your best Albert Einstein voice and parentheses quote. 970 00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:54,360 Speaker 5: I wouldn't change a thing, so I guess said, like 971 00:52:54,640 --> 00:53:00,200 Speaker 5: I wouldn't change a team, Laurel, are you talking to 972 00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:01,640 Speaker 5: I wouldn't change a thing. 973 00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:06,800 Speaker 4: If Babbage messaged me on a dating app, I would 974 00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:10,120 Speaker 4: be in. So far these are all very good. 975 00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:14,120 Speaker 1: I would change a thing. 976 00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:18,120 Speaker 4: Oh, they would hook me. They would hook me like 977 00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:19,799 Speaker 4: I am being honest right now. 978 00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:21,560 Speaker 1: Like that, I would be like, I'm glad you are 979 00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:24,839 Speaker 1: because idiocracy was right. 980 00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:28,200 Speaker 2: Yes, I wouldn't change the. 981 00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:32,560 Speaker 1: Yes, would it works? 982 00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:35,279 Speaker 2: Actually, I think it's maybe creepier with the with the 983 00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:36,160 Speaker 2: German Act with me. 984 00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:38,560 Speaker 1: Yes, I wouldn't change a thing. 985 00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:46,919 Speaker 2: With Einstein accent. I wouldn't change a thing at. 986 00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:47,840 Speaker 5: The very least with that. 987 00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:50,360 Speaker 4: I would be like, excuse me, what. 988 00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:56,240 Speaker 1: I think? Babbage? Just click it in. Here's the last 989 00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:59,920 Speaker 1: one from Babbage, the third smartest. 990 00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:02,160 Speaker 2: So why is it called Babbage? Babbage is used to 991 00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:04,560 Speaker 2: be that like video game store in the moment, dude, 992 00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:06,120 Speaker 2: that is in the east coast of you. 993 00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:09,840 Speaker 1: That's the one I asked, that is yes, that is 994 00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:13,040 Speaker 1: the one I asked for medicine man. The posters stand 995 00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:15,759 Speaker 1: up from was a Babbage's and they used to rent 996 00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:18,320 Speaker 1: whole Nintendo say, oh my gosh, I have some my stories. 997 00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:21,440 Speaker 1: Uh this is from Babbage, who slides up next to 998 00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:27,640 Speaker 1: your bar wearing his uh Polo Sport cologne and says, 999 00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:32,120 Speaker 1: I love you, I love you, I love you to 1000 00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:36,239 Speaker 1: the confines of death and disease. The legions of Earth rejoices, 1001 00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:43,680 Speaker 1: whoa be to the world store with I love you? Yeah, 1002 00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:44,920 Speaker 1: you don't want a store with I love you. 1003 00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:48,160 Speaker 4: He did it three times too, He. 1004 00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:49,640 Speaker 1: Said I love you, I love you, I love you, 1005 00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:52,720 Speaker 1: I love you to the confines of death and disease. 1006 00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:55,640 Speaker 1: That probably means he knows who you are, Laurel. He's 1007 00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:56,360 Speaker 1: also yeah, I. 1008 00:54:57,239 --> 00:55:02,000 Speaker 4: Know, yes, pandering. I don't like it. 1009 00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:06,640 Speaker 1: No, yeah, you want Grabbage follows you? Isn't that so fun? 1010 00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:06,960 Speaker 4: Good? 1011 00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:08,600 Speaker 1: That is so look? 1012 00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:11,520 Speaker 2: I you know, I love I love Ais. 1013 00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:12,640 Speaker 1: I did it for you, buddy. 1014 00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:17,560 Speaker 2: I don't know if you know this, uh, Laurel, but 1015 00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:24,040 Speaker 2: we've created a AI that will write jokes for me. No, yes, 1016 00:55:24,239 --> 00:55:26,160 Speaker 2: and it's gonna be. We're gonna do it in my 1017 00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:28,839 Speaker 2: next special, in my next special, which hell yeah, it's 1018 00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:30,799 Speaker 2: either gonna be August twenty second or August twenty ninth. 1019 00:55:31,239 --> 00:55:33,919 Speaker 2: It was gonna be recorded in Atlanta, but we moved 1020 00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:34,320 Speaker 2: it today. 1021 00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:38,440 Speaker 1: Where's it going, Denver? I'm coming. 1022 00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:41,640 Speaker 2: I'll be there in Denver at the Gothic Theater either 1023 00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:44,920 Speaker 2: August twenty second or twenty ninth, the Cordon A Special, 1024 00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:47,920 Speaker 2: But we got Jokatron. Jokatron is gonna roll out on 1025 00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:52,080 Speaker 2: stage and do some bits about the pandemic because I 1026 00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:52,759 Speaker 2: don't have any. 1027 00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:55,799 Speaker 1: Yes, you do. Also your bit about the giving trees, 1028 00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,399 Speaker 1: so good, go with that, keep going with thank you dude. 1029 00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:00,839 Speaker 2: Do you like that one about a You're grateful dead? 1030 00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:02,080 Speaker 4: Yes? 1031 00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:04,839 Speaker 1: But I also think it might be of our age. 1032 00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:08,280 Speaker 1: I think we were a little older because I know exactly, Laurels. 1033 00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:10,880 Speaker 1: Sorry to alienate you with this Inside Baseball Talk. 1034 00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:14,600 Speaker 2: Kurt, it's a brand new joke. It's a brand new joke, 1035 00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:18,759 Speaker 2: which is basically that as a kid, as like an 1036 00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:22,480 Speaker 2: eleven year old, I was terrified, terrified of certain bands 1037 00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:29,000 Speaker 2: just based on their like iconography so scary, it's so scary, 1038 00:56:29,160 --> 00:56:31,560 Speaker 2: and as an eleven area, I was like, that band 1039 00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:36,319 Speaker 2: must be the most evil sounding music in the world. 1040 00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:47,359 Speaker 2: I was just like, this is the band I've been 1041 00:56:47,480 --> 00:56:49,359 Speaker 2: scared of for like three with the light. 1042 00:56:50,680 --> 00:56:55,000 Speaker 4: Goes so hard for like what you are. Jerry Garcy 1043 00:56:55,080 --> 00:57:00,920 Speaker 4: has got a camp for children, just like what I know. 1044 00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:03,520 Speaker 1: I'm with you, Laurel. How are you feeling right now? 1045 00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:07,839 Speaker 1: Could you go one more story? Kurt? Kurt's okay. 1046 00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:09,480 Speaker 2: I mean, like it's eleven o'clock where you are. 1047 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:13,399 Speaker 4: I feel great? I mean, like Scottie was saying, we've 1048 00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:16,400 Speaker 4: passed that tipping point. I always tell people the rule 1049 00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:20,160 Speaker 4: is you're excited to take a shot, you're too drunk. 1050 00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:23,520 Speaker 4: You should not be drinking. Like if someone's like, let's 1051 00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:28,000 Speaker 4: do shots and you're like okay, Like then you can 1052 00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:28,280 Speaker 4: take it. 1053 00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:31,160 Speaker 1: But I mean, I'll do a shot right now. I'll 1054 00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:33,600 Speaker 1: do the shot. I Kurt do one more. This will 1055 00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:37,840 Speaker 1: be our longest Bananas. But also it's our most specialist guest. Okay, 1056 00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:43,120 Speaker 1: we're getting in there, Laurel. Also, are you blowing off 1057 00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:46,520 Speaker 1: some steam this week? And you do real work, real 1058 00:57:46,600 --> 00:57:49,800 Speaker 1: hard science. I think you're a real star Banana of 1059 00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:54,360 Speaker 1: the choir, Kurt b oq boque Banana to the Choir, 1060 00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:56,800 Speaker 1: Laurel Bristow. I think you brought a lot of hope 1061 00:57:57,680 --> 00:58:02,120 Speaker 1: and assurances to people who were scared shitless. The number 1062 00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:03,800 Speaker 1: of people the first time you were on that were like, 1063 00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:08,480 Speaker 1: I fucking love her was astounding, and so I hope 1064 00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:10,760 Speaker 1: you feel great. And even though you're probably exhausted from 1065 00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:12,040 Speaker 1: answering the same questions, I. 1066 00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:16,200 Speaker 2: Cannot I understand every time I see yes your story, 1067 00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:18,760 Speaker 2: that's just like it's crazy, just a bunch of people, 1068 00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:21,600 Speaker 2: it's a lot across the top. I'm like, the amount 1069 00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:24,240 Speaker 2: of work she already worked a full fucking day being 1070 00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:27,959 Speaker 2: an infectious disease, reading yes, and now she's coming home 1071 00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:32,280 Speaker 2: and then typing typically all the words that she's saying, 1072 00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,280 Speaker 2: like it breaks my mind that you do that much. 1073 00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:38,640 Speaker 4: Well, I, yeah, so I've been slacking lately because I 1074 00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:40,760 Speaker 4: just feel like there's not a lot of new news, 1075 00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:43,800 Speaker 4: which is nice. But yeah, the people that people who 1076 00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:46,800 Speaker 4: follow me are like so incredible and I love them 1077 00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:50,240 Speaker 4: so dearly because it's such a team, Like you know, 1078 00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:53,360 Speaker 4: they're grateful and they're receptive to information. But every time 1079 00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:55,240 Speaker 4: I'm like, you, guys are feeling pretty burnt out, I 1080 00:58:55,320 --> 00:58:57,520 Speaker 4: need to just like not postuff this week, They're like. 1081 00:58:57,760 --> 00:59:01,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, don't post anything, throw your phone. 1082 00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:04,080 Speaker 4: Into the ocean. We love you, And I'm like, great, 1083 00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:05,000 Speaker 4: thank you, guys. 1084 00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:08,439 Speaker 2: I think real people really do recognize like how much. 1085 00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:11,960 Speaker 2: If you've ever tried to do a fucking Instagram story 1086 00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,840 Speaker 2: and then like type out the words for what you're saying, 1087 00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:19,480 Speaker 2: it's exhausting just doing like once, yeah you do fucking 1088 00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:20,600 Speaker 2: fifteen minutes. 1089 00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:25,800 Speaker 1: Banana of the Choir, Laurel Bristow gets the BOQ probably 1090 00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:29,200 Speaker 1: only going to be one, not because there's not gonna 1091 00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:31,680 Speaker 1: be another choar. There probably just won't be Bananas by 1092 00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:36,880 Speaker 1: the time that happens. The next time the original BOQ 1093 00:59:37,080 --> 00:59:38,840 Speaker 1: and when we come to Athens or we come to 1094 00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:42,959 Speaker 1: Atlanta and do live shows, join us, please, it would 1095 00:59:42,960 --> 00:59:43,840 Speaker 1: be an honor. 1096 00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:47,720 Speaker 4: Also in La in June. 1097 00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:51,280 Speaker 1: Just dropping that in there, kick butt ning, we'll be here. 1098 00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:54,760 Speaker 1: We're here, Kurtie B. Give us a story. 1099 00:59:55,160 --> 00:59:56,919 Speaker 2: We'll be vaxed and ready to hang. 1100 00:59:57,280 --> 00:59:59,959 Speaker 4: Oh, April fifteenth, I know for a fact that everyone 1101 01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:01,360 Speaker 4: in California is eligible. 1102 01:00:01,480 --> 01:00:08,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, April fifteenth. Yeah, holy shit. We don't talk about 1103 01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:10,760 Speaker 1: the info, but we got it right now. I'm going 1104 01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:14,640 Speaker 1: to spin the bottle from May fifteenth until an early 1105 01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:18,080 Speaker 1: grave is what's all right? Here we go, guys, I'm 1106 01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:22,720 Speaker 1: doing a shot. Cheers to both of you. Cheers, cheers, cheerers. 1107 01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:27,480 Speaker 2: Oh jeez man, the amount of the amount that I 1108 01:00:27,640 --> 01:00:31,120 Speaker 2: never want to cheers through a camera lens after the 1109 01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:34,880 Speaker 2: great choar is over is like a thousand million times. 1110 01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:37,760 Speaker 2: I hate cheersing through a camera lens. 1111 01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:38,320 Speaker 4: It's awful. 1112 01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:40,360 Speaker 1: So many times I. 1113 01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:42,800 Speaker 4: Want to break somebody's beer bottle. That's like, I want 1114 01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:44,560 Speaker 4: to go back to that where you're just like drunk, 1115 01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:47,160 Speaker 4: like everything smashes and explosion. 1116 01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:50,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, can give me your keys. I'm still in a motorcycle. 1117 01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:54,360 Speaker 1: I'm driving. Yeah, all right, here we go, Yes, buddy boy. 1118 01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,200 Speaker 2: We're gonna end it. It's a Friday, night. It's a 1119 01:00:57,240 --> 01:01:00,640 Speaker 2: Friday night. We're gonna end it all night sexy. Hey, 1120 01:01:00,840 --> 01:01:05,800 Speaker 2: this one is okay, So okay, here's what we'll take guesses. 1121 01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:09,479 Speaker 2: What do you think is the number one and number 1122 01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:16,520 Speaker 2: two thing bought on Amazon Laurel since the stimulus check arrived? 1123 01:01:16,960 --> 01:01:19,440 Speaker 4: So stimmy check arrived. 1124 01:01:19,560 --> 01:01:24,040 Speaker 2: Yes, so these are specifically stimulus check purchases. 1125 01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:27,400 Speaker 4: Vibrators and smart TVs. 1126 01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:34,000 Speaker 1: I would guess. I would guess vibrators is probably on 1127 01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:40,800 Speaker 1: the money. Uh, the first one, shoot, I would either 1128 01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:47,320 Speaker 1: I would guess smartphones or yeah, it's a technology. I 1129 01:01:47,320 --> 01:01:50,840 Speaker 1: would go smartphones are like Xbox. 1130 01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:56,280 Speaker 2: Oh and you're both right, all right, Hey, I'm giving it. 1131 01:01:56,760 --> 01:02:00,760 Speaker 2: It's an it's a PS five first, which makes sense. 1132 01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:05,240 Speaker 2: Number one is PS five PlayStation five, PlayStation five. 1133 01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:12,800 Speaker 1: Right after it. Okay, so a PlayStation costs five thousand dollars. 1134 01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:16,240 Speaker 1: I think it's like same. 1135 01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:21,400 Speaker 4: Dish our technology experts. 1136 01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:25,880 Speaker 1: What's dollars? 1137 01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:31,160 Speaker 2: That's actually like a nice reference to give it up to. 1138 01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:33,160 Speaker 1: Jessica. 1139 01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:41,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, Lucille Bluth from Death Right the original, which is 1140 01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:43,439 Speaker 2: like what what what could a banana cost? 1141 01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:46,600 Speaker 4: Ten? Yeah, that's exactly the reference I was making too. 1142 01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:48,720 Speaker 1: I forgot about that ros and bananas. 1143 01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:55,640 Speaker 2: All right, So the next one, yes, sir, a vibrator 1144 01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:59,720 Speaker 2: best did GPUs in Amazon's post stimulus chaser? 1145 01:02:59,840 --> 01:03:01,360 Speaker 1: But who doesn't have one already? 1146 01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:01,760 Speaker 4: Like that? 1147 01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:06,000 Speaker 1: I get it. Our vibrator is expensive. And also who 1148 01:03:06,080 --> 01:03:09,880 Speaker 1: didn't buy one in April of twenty twenty or did 1149 01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:13,560 Speaker 1: they just wear it out? This is a new I was. 1150 01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:16,880 Speaker 1: I was like, all right, sorry, that was a grissock. 1151 01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:20,480 Speaker 2: Into this vibrator. So it is called the ado Riema 1152 01:03:20,720 --> 01:03:24,000 Speaker 2: Rose Vibrator and it says it went viral thanks to 1153 01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:25,080 Speaker 2: a TikTok clip. 1154 01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:26,840 Speaker 4: I was just gonna say. I was like, I bet 1155 01:03:26,920 --> 01:03:30,240 Speaker 4: there was a fucking TikTok about this vibrator. TikTok is 1156 01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:34,280 Speaker 4: the best advertising platform. Anyone who can talk possibly dreamed. 1157 01:03:34,040 --> 01:03:35,640 Speaker 1: Of great name for a vibrator. 1158 01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:39,480 Speaker 4: And it's free, yeah, because people will post about something 1159 01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:42,480 Speaker 4: on TikTok and it will like I felt, I felt 1160 01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:44,600 Speaker 4: victim to it. There were leggings on TikTok to make 1161 01:03:44,640 --> 01:03:47,320 Speaker 4: your butt look crazy, and I bought them and they. 1162 01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:48,320 Speaker 1: Are doing awesome. 1163 01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:50,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, they are awesome. They do make your butt look crazy. 1164 01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:53,760 Speaker 1: So you got me. At this point, I wish my 1165 01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:59,440 Speaker 1: butt looked crazy. So PlayStation five. Is not five thousand dollars, 1166 01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:00,520 Speaker 1: is what you're telling me. 1167 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:02,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's five hundred dollars. But the fact that this 1168 01:04:02,680 --> 01:04:05,680 Speaker 2: next one, this vibrator, is sixty dollars. Here's the deal. 1169 01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:08,560 Speaker 2: I looked it up, I watched the video. I've figured 1170 01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:12,400 Speaker 2: out it is. I've seen vibrators before. I understand how 1171 01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:12,800 Speaker 2: they work. 1172 01:04:12,880 --> 01:04:14,880 Speaker 4: They've been around, you know the thing. 1173 01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:17,120 Speaker 1: Kurt's seen some stuff. 1174 01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:21,440 Speaker 2: This is okay, So imagine a rose looks like it's 1175 01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:24,360 Speaker 2: called the adderiem a rose vibrator. Wait, it looks like 1176 01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:27,760 Speaker 2: a rose, so it has it looks like a rose. Yeah, 1177 01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:30,480 Speaker 2: so like imagine just like the bulb of a rose, 1178 01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:34,040 Speaker 2: a tale as old as time. And then there's ridges 1179 01:04:34,640 --> 01:04:37,560 Speaker 2: on one side of it with a hole in the middle. Okay, 1180 01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:42,000 Speaker 2: and then what it does, oh, creates suction here. 1181 01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:45,120 Speaker 4: I would just like those things. Podcasts are not a 1182 01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:47,520 Speaker 4: visual thing. But Kurt is doing a hand motion right now. 1183 01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:51,400 Speaker 4: Imagine Chris pretending his hand is a baby octopus moving 1184 01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:52,320 Speaker 4: across the screen. 1185 01:04:52,640 --> 01:04:57,080 Speaker 1: That's right, Yes, it was a chambered nautilist had slipped 1186 01:04:57,120 --> 01:05:00,800 Speaker 1: out of his shell and was desperately racing act towards 1187 01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:01,520 Speaker 1: its shell. 1188 01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:06,000 Speaker 4: That is that Kurt is currently doing. Continue Kurt, thank you. 1189 01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:06,920 Speaker 1: Thank you. 1190 01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:10,360 Speaker 2: I have not seen a vibrator like this. I was 1191 01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:12,560 Speaker 2: surprised by the videos for it. 1192 01:05:13,040 --> 01:05:15,720 Speaker 4: I'm sorry. What was it called I just need to 1193 01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:16,320 Speaker 4: take a new room? 1194 01:05:18,080 --> 01:05:20,680 Speaker 2: A do Remay rose vibrator? 1195 01:05:20,800 --> 01:05:22,720 Speaker 1: That could have made this such a neat They would 1196 01:05:22,840 --> 01:05:25,560 Speaker 1: sell four times more if they'd called it it like 1197 01:05:26,120 --> 01:05:31,360 Speaker 1: Boner rose, and then they'll be like, got it? Uh, Okay. 1198 01:05:31,440 --> 01:05:33,920 Speaker 1: So it's a fleshlight for women that shaped like a. 1199 01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:40,920 Speaker 2: Rose essentially, Yeah, it's just light exactly different ways that 1200 01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:42,320 Speaker 2: the rose petals move. 1201 01:05:42,960 --> 01:05:44,920 Speaker 1: It looks very complicated, yes. 1202 01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:48,919 Speaker 2: But anyway, that's crazy that, like a very expensive piece 1203 01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:52,880 Speaker 2: of technology, the PS five just barely beat out a 1204 01:05:52,960 --> 01:05:56,200 Speaker 2: sixty dollars vibrator. You know, it's funny how many people 1205 01:05:56,360 --> 01:05:57,080 Speaker 2: bought that vibe. 1206 01:05:57,160 --> 01:05:59,280 Speaker 1: Both are problem both are PS five. 1207 01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:02,160 Speaker 4: So the reason that that was my answer that I 1208 01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:04,800 Speaker 4: thought of first is because I think it's like the 1209 01:06:04,960 --> 01:06:08,760 Speaker 4: number one It might be Amazon, maybe it's Eva, Like 1210 01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:12,640 Speaker 4: the number one categories is sex toys. And I know 1211 01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:15,320 Speaker 4: this because I had a friend who like figured that 1212 01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:18,439 Speaker 4: out and was selling, like, you know, got like bulk 1213 01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:23,520 Speaker 4: orders of dildos from China and then reselling them on 1214 01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:27,720 Speaker 4: whatever platform, except they stop doing that. But now he 1215 01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:31,720 Speaker 4: just has a garage full of dildos because when he 1216 01:06:31,840 --> 01:06:35,240 Speaker 4: had ordered them, it had like his name and contact 1217 01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:38,800 Speaker 4: info inside, like for returns or questions or whatever. But 1218 01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:41,760 Speaker 4: now he can't just like offload them because he would 1219 01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:45,240 Speaker 4: then get all of the calls about them from whoever 1220 01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:47,480 Speaker 4: resold them. So he he's like, I have to go 1221 01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:51,120 Speaker 4: through and open all of these and then like bulk. 1222 01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:52,360 Speaker 1: Sell them individually. 1223 01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:58,919 Speaker 4: Oh oh no, oh no, So he just I haven't 1224 01:06:58,960 --> 01:06:59,400 Speaker 4: done it yet. 1225 01:07:00,280 --> 01:07:04,240 Speaker 1: Well, Kurt, So I have a double headed glass bing 1226 01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:06,840 Speaker 1: bong from Kurt that says we did it, or it 1227 01:07:06,960 --> 01:07:08,560 Speaker 1: has about our names on it from one of your 1228 01:07:08,640 --> 01:07:09,480 Speaker 1: comedy specials. 1229 01:07:09,640 --> 01:07:12,120 Speaker 2: Actually, I just looked up a photo of it, says 1230 01:07:12,760 --> 01:07:15,880 Speaker 2: but to butt Forever, Kurt and Scottie. 1231 01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:22,440 Speaker 1: It's I can see it right now, you know. Sometimes 1232 01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:24,720 Speaker 1: I use it with my left hand as a carver 1233 01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:28,640 Speaker 1: turkey with my right hand, and it's a beautiful piece. Also, 1234 01:07:28,760 --> 01:07:31,240 Speaker 1: Kurt used to jog his errands for a while and 1235 01:07:31,360 --> 01:07:31,840 Speaker 1: he had a. 1236 01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:37,920 Speaker 2: I think I've already told this story on the podcast. 1237 01:07:37,960 --> 01:07:43,000 Speaker 1: I don't think you have, Katie, Katie Levine are great producer. 1238 01:07:43,240 --> 01:07:46,440 Speaker 1: Oh my god, here we go. I don't think i'stild 1239 01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:49,080 Speaker 1: this story, but please enter the chat if he has 1240 01:07:49,320 --> 01:07:52,000 Speaker 1: but okay with I don't don't think yeah, I don't 1241 01:07:52,040 --> 01:07:54,600 Speaker 1: think you did. I don't think. Here we go. I'll 1242 01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:54,880 Speaker 1: tell it. 1243 01:07:54,920 --> 01:07:57,120 Speaker 2: And then we got to wrap this puppy up. 1244 01:07:57,400 --> 01:08:00,680 Speaker 1: I don't know. I run. I used to run for 1245 01:08:00,840 --> 01:08:02,840 Speaker 1: exercise two places like. 1246 01:08:02,880 --> 01:08:04,840 Speaker 2: I didn't want to run in circles, so if I 1247 01:08:04,920 --> 01:08:06,800 Speaker 2: had to like run an errand I would physically like 1248 01:08:06,960 --> 01:08:07,800 Speaker 2: run to the place. 1249 01:08:07,880 --> 01:08:10,800 Speaker 1: It was awesome, and uh I was. 1250 01:08:10,960 --> 01:08:13,240 Speaker 2: I ran to the dildo store one day because I 1251 01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:15,400 Speaker 2: needed to buy a double ended dildo for a sketch 1252 01:08:15,480 --> 01:08:15,680 Speaker 2: we were. 1253 01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:17,240 Speaker 1: It's a very funny sketch too. 1254 01:08:19,640 --> 01:08:22,360 Speaker 2: It was a sketch where I had two instead of 1255 01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:25,320 Speaker 2: butterfly wings on the back, like Kristin had butterfly wings. 1256 01:08:25,400 --> 01:08:28,840 Speaker 1: Kristin Shaw had beautiful butterfly wings, and then Kurbun he 1257 01:08:28,880 --> 01:08:30,519 Speaker 1: had two double edged and. 1258 01:08:30,880 --> 01:08:33,559 Speaker 2: How are my butterfly wings? And She's like they're coming along. 1259 01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:36,360 Speaker 1: It was a last time in comedy. 1260 01:08:36,640 --> 01:08:39,360 Speaker 2: Classic comedy. So I buy this big double ended dildo 1261 01:08:39,720 --> 01:08:43,400 Speaker 2: and it's real jimbly jambly and it just it won't 1262 01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:45,439 Speaker 2: like fit in like, so then I know I have 1263 01:08:45,560 --> 01:08:48,320 Speaker 2: to I have like run home with this dildo. So 1264 01:08:48,400 --> 01:08:50,240 Speaker 2: I like put it in a bag and fold it 1265 01:08:50,360 --> 01:08:54,599 Speaker 2: up and I'm running and uh and I this never 1266 01:08:54,680 --> 01:08:57,880 Speaker 2: happened before. After I went, I was getting up on 1267 01:08:57,960 --> 01:08:59,479 Speaker 2: a curb and it was one of those curbs that 1268 01:08:59,600 --> 01:09:01,639 Speaker 2: had in New York City that has. 1269 01:09:01,720 --> 01:09:04,639 Speaker 1: Metal just along clutter curb. Yeah. 1270 01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:07,519 Speaker 2: Yeah, And so it's a curved and so if it's 1271 01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:11,120 Speaker 2: a little wet, it's really slippery. And I stepped right 1272 01:09:11,240 --> 01:09:14,400 Speaker 2: on there and she slipped and I went down hard. 1273 01:09:15,320 --> 01:09:18,560 Speaker 2: It's like noon in the West Village, a lot of 1274 01:09:18,640 --> 01:09:21,560 Speaker 2: people around, and I'm six foot four. And when a 1275 01:09:21,640 --> 01:09:24,640 Speaker 2: six foot four person falls, Oh my god, I know 1276 01:09:24,680 --> 01:09:25,439 Speaker 2: you were that tall. 1277 01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:29,599 Speaker 1: Yeah, we're the tallest banana boys in the biz. I'm 1278 01:09:29,680 --> 01:09:35,479 Speaker 1: six and it's yeah, yeah, we're uh we we fall 1279 01:09:35,800 --> 01:09:36,639 Speaker 1: for a long. 1280 01:09:38,040 --> 01:09:41,040 Speaker 2: The falling happens for a very long period. 1281 01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:44,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, tree getting cut down at the. 1282 01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:52,240 Speaker 1: Pot's going off, Laurel, are you having fun? 1283 01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:55,759 Speaker 4: I'm having love, best time, Scottie. Thank you for asking. 1284 01:09:56,560 --> 01:09:59,160 Speaker 1: I'm glad you're here. This is so funny. You and 1285 01:09:59,240 --> 01:10:02,000 Speaker 1: I are the the loose cannons, and then we're watching 1286 01:10:02,160 --> 01:10:05,240 Speaker 1: Doctor Responsibility over here having to hang you know what? 1287 01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:07,679 Speaker 4: Is he meal prepping for his children? 1288 01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:11,680 Speaker 1: I think so could you hear us? You could hear us? 1289 01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:13,600 Speaker 1: You're laughing like you could hear us. Oh good. We 1290 01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:17,000 Speaker 1: weren't talking shit, but we we called you Doctor Responsibility. 1291 01:10:17,200 --> 01:10:19,000 Speaker 1: That's all. We're not chitting on you. 1292 01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:21,599 Speaker 4: You'll find out what we said when this episode comes out. 1293 01:10:22,120 --> 01:10:22,560 Speaker 1: Thank you. 1294 01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:25,960 Speaker 2: I'm gonna get so kurb fourteen. 1295 01:10:27,160 --> 01:10:29,519 Speaker 1: My homeboy also Kurt used to text me when you 1296 01:10:29,560 --> 01:10:32,000 Speaker 1: live in Ditmas Park, Brooklyn. You go, I'm gonna go jogging. 1297 01:10:32,080 --> 01:10:34,160 Speaker 1: I go, great, He gues, I'm gonna yell in like 1298 01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:36,920 Speaker 1: four minutes and I go okay, And Kurt would run 1299 01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:41,599 Speaker 1: by my apartment building and go and he wouldn't stop 1300 01:10:41,680 --> 01:10:43,360 Speaker 1: by and say hi. He would just yell when he 1301 01:10:43,439 --> 01:10:45,800 Speaker 1: was running by. And then KURTI b and I know 1302 01:10:45,880 --> 01:10:48,560 Speaker 1: a lot of people go, oh, screw that guy. He 1303 01:10:48,640 --> 01:10:51,599 Speaker 1: would lose like twenty pounds in two weeks just running 1304 01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:54,040 Speaker 1: every single day. So anyways, Kurt slips on a metal 1305 01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:56,600 Speaker 1: curb going to a comedy show and. 1306 01:10:57,600 --> 01:11:01,800 Speaker 2: I go down hard and then the double dildo explodes 1307 01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:04,920 Speaker 2: out of the bag. So all these people around me 1308 01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:07,080 Speaker 2: are like watching me fall and they're like, oh no, 1309 01:11:07,800 --> 01:11:10,240 Speaker 2: and then the double ended dildo explodes. 1310 01:11:09,760 --> 01:11:12,080 Speaker 1: Out of the back, like oh no. They're like help 1311 01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:13,800 Speaker 1: this man, No, get away. 1312 01:11:13,600 --> 01:11:14,439 Speaker 4: From this man. 1313 01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:17,360 Speaker 1: Yes, they were like this poor sec of shit, and 1314 01:11:17,439 --> 01:11:20,800 Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, there's like boy boy, and 1315 01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:23,360 Speaker 1: then you made comedy happen. 1316 01:11:23,800 --> 01:11:26,920 Speaker 2: I made comedy happen, guys, Laurel. 1317 01:11:27,240 --> 01:11:30,839 Speaker 1: We gotta give Laurel a moment to do a true plug. 1318 01:11:32,040 --> 01:11:33,519 Speaker 2: Yeah, talk about anything? 1319 01:11:34,120 --> 01:11:34,800 Speaker 1: What's new? 1320 01:11:35,600 --> 01:11:37,000 Speaker 2: You want people to look at? 1321 01:11:37,479 --> 01:11:39,599 Speaker 1: Where do we follow King gutter Baby? 1322 01:11:40,800 --> 01:11:42,200 Speaker 2: I gotta follow King gutter Baby. 1323 01:11:42,280 --> 01:11:45,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, you want to hang out on my Instagram? Sometimes 1324 01:11:45,080 --> 01:11:49,120 Speaker 4: it's the Last Science, and sometimes it's Harry's Stiles Gifts, 1325 01:11:49,200 --> 01:11:56,240 Speaker 4: and sometimes it's me just complaining about things. Covers the bases. 1326 01:11:56,560 --> 01:11:56,880 Speaker 4: I think. 1327 01:11:57,080 --> 01:12:00,560 Speaker 1: Fine, Okay, So anything new or hot to look forward to, 1328 01:12:00,920 --> 01:12:05,240 Speaker 1: or it's gonna be you walking us hand in hand through. 1329 01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:09,720 Speaker 1: Everybody's getting backs these days. Everybody's walking out of this 1330 01:12:09,880 --> 01:12:13,880 Speaker 1: great car, anything big or just jump on board. 1331 01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:20,000 Speaker 4: No, I mean I'm just plugging along at this point. So, yeah, 1332 01:12:20,120 --> 01:12:22,680 Speaker 4: you want to come out and coming out every Saturday 1333 01:12:23,040 --> 01:12:25,120 Speaker 4: or most every other Saturday. At this point, I just 1334 01:12:25,240 --> 01:12:28,080 Speaker 4: answer a bunch of stupid questions. So it's really listening 1335 01:12:28,120 --> 01:12:29,920 Speaker 4: to this and you were like, man, I wish this 1336 01:12:30,080 --> 01:12:33,200 Speaker 4: woman would answer questions that if she would go on 1337 01:12:33,240 --> 01:12:35,320 Speaker 4: a hot air balloon ride like that happens. 1338 01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:40,280 Speaker 1: I just you're talking to the right boys for that one. Yeah, 1339 01:12:40,479 --> 01:12:45,320 Speaker 1: beautiful Laurel, you are our second Bananas after Dark guest. 1340 01:12:45,520 --> 01:12:49,080 Speaker 1: You are our second repeat guests. We are so grateful 1341 01:12:49,120 --> 01:12:49,439 Speaker 1: for your. 1342 01:12:49,400 --> 01:12:50,720 Speaker 4: To number two all the way. 1343 01:12:50,880 --> 01:12:54,800 Speaker 1: Baby, you're number two in our hearts. You're number two, 1344 01:12:54,960 --> 01:12:59,120 Speaker 1: but you're also a banana the choar and sleep in 1345 01:12:59,280 --> 01:13:01,680 Speaker 1: tomorrow thing for standing up and getting buzzed with us. 1346 01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:06,519 Speaker 2: Thank you, Scottie, Thank you, Katie b love. 1347 01:13:06,360 --> 01:13:20,240 Speaker 1: You, love you back, Bananas. This has been an exactly 1348 01:13:20,360 --> 01:13:21,560 Speaker 1: right production. 1349 01:13:21,400 --> 01:13:23,600 Speaker 2: Produced and engineered by Katie Levine. 1350 01:13:23,560 --> 01:13:25,200 Speaker 1: Theme music by Kahan, and. 1351 01:13:25,240 --> 01:13:27,400 Speaker 2: All of our artwork is done by Travis Millard. 1352 01:13:27,680 --> 01:13:30,360 Speaker 1: You can follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast, 1353 01:13:30,400 --> 01:13:32,519 Speaker 1: where we post stories every day and things that we 1354 01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:34,040 Speaker 1: don't cover on the podcast. 1355 01:13:34,479 --> 01:13:37,639 Speaker 2: Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple podcast, 1356 01:13:37,720 --> 01:13:39,640 Speaker 2: Stitcher or wherever you get your podcast. 1357 01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:43,040 Speaker 1: And if you're interested in advertising on Bananas, please email 1358 01:13:43,120 --> 01:13:46,040 Speaker 1: us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. That's 1359 01:13:46,200 --> 01:13:48,880 Speaker 1: the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. 1360 01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:01,240 Speaker 4: And another father