Speaker 1: But I invited you here.
Speaker 2: I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a
Speaker 2: guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty.
Speaker 2: And I said, no, guess you're o presences presents enough.
Speaker 2: I already had too much stuff, So how do you
Speaker 2: dare to surbey me?
Speaker 1: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Wine Garl.
Speaker 1: It's nighttime. We're recording at night. This is a new
Speaker 1: special feeling. Usually you know we're recording at eleven am.
Speaker 1: Everybody knows. I just go absolutely insane when the clock
Speaker 1: strikes seven pm. So this is going to be an
Speaker 1: interesting experience. What's going on. I've got two different drinks.
Speaker 1: I haven't tried this yet. This is a Lacroix new flavor,
Speaker 1: Strawberry peach. So we'll just see what happens. Okay, that's fine,
Speaker 1: and I'm back. I've been on my Breeze Airways flight.
Speaker 1: I've been on two different Breeze Airways flights. I'm here.
Speaker 1: I'm ready to partner with the discount airline, Breeze Airways
Speaker 1: reach Out. I had a totally fine experience, and I
Speaker 1: was back in Utah, my family just begging me to leave,
Speaker 1: and then I'm here. Oh I should mention Patreon, Patreon
Speaker 1: dot com slash I said, no gifts. You know how
Speaker 1: that all works. Thank you. Now let's get into the podcast.
Speaker 1: I love today's guest. It's Roz Hernandez Roz welcome. Joy said,
Speaker 1: no goodness.
Speaker 3: I was here the whole time the twist, I was here.
Speaker 3: I love this Bridger after Dark. Thanks for having me back.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to have you. Last time was in
Speaker 1: my backyard.
Speaker 3: Yes, and I gave you a wig.
Speaker 1: Yes, and it's uh I used Oh, I made a
Speaker 1: video with it. That's right, and now.
Speaker 3: It's you wear it all the time.
Speaker 1: Now I'm gonna take your thing. You sure steal your brand,
Speaker 1: take my hair. It's it's in a nice cabinet, so
Speaker 1: I'm protecting it. I need to find another thing to
Speaker 1: use it for. But I had a great time making
Speaker 1: a video with him. Yeah, it's a big object. And
Speaker 1: to have a the head.
Speaker 3: Oh and I gave you a wig ahead too.
Speaker 1: It was really a nice game.
Speaker 3: That was nice. I might want that back.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, have you.
Speaker 3: Had take seas back seats?
Speaker 1: I had one, well one, uh, somebody tried to take
Speaker 1: it back. Jamie Lee was on the podcast and she
Speaker 1: gave me a chewed up dog toy, and afterwards, her
Speaker 1: assistant said Jamie would like that back, and I was
Speaker 1: just like, that doesn't feel correct, that can't possibly be true.
Speaker 1: So I messaged Jamie herself and she didn't want it back.
Speaker 1: But it was one of the it was one of
Speaker 1: the most baffling. She was embarrassed.
Speaker 3: When I got back to you, she ad wanted that back.
Speaker 1: If that's true, then I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1: I threw it away. It's the only gift I've ever
Speaker 1: thrown away directly after an episode.
Speaker 3: Oh god, Well, that makes me a little bit nervous
Speaker 3: about my gift I brought you.
Speaker 1: I should just have a garbage kin ready.
Speaker 3: Well, how do you feel about like temporary gifts, like
Speaker 3: edible things or I don't know, I don't know. I
Speaker 3: mean I.
Speaker 1: Love, especially with this. I love to get an object
Speaker 1: that will go away because I'm collecting. I mean, look
Speaker 1: just around us we've.
Speaker 3: Got Then, I am your girl.
Speaker 1: What's been going on? What's new?
Speaker 3: Well? I had an audio book come out, and I've
Speaker 3: been really busy trying my beath to get the word
Speaker 3: out about my audio book and I'm very proud of it.
Speaker 1: How did that whole process work? Was the book a
Speaker 1: published book first or is it straight to audio?
Speaker 3: Well, it's only an audiobook.
Speaker 1: I love this.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So what it's about is it's called peeing in
Speaker 3: an Empty Bottle. The full title is peeing at an
Speaker 3: Empty Bottle and other glamorous shenanigans of an almost famous
Speaker 3: transgender comedian on the road.
Speaker 1: That's a great title. Yeah, that's like Fiona Apples win
Speaker 1: the Pawn. That title that's like fifty words long.
Speaker 3: I love that. I love Apple. So basically what happens
Speaker 3: was last year, start the year off, Oh, new president,
Speaker 3: what could go wrong? You know?
Speaker 1: Well, feeling that way.
Speaker 3: We were all sort of like, maybe this would be good,
Speaker 3: That's what we all said. Well, it turns out that
Speaker 3: president went right for transgender people right away, of which
Speaker 3: I happened to be. And you know, also I work
Speaker 3: in show biz and show buziness up in the air.
Speaker 3: Everything is just sort of like, what's what's my future?
Speaker 3: What's all of our futures? Who knows? I decided I
Speaker 3: got to work, so I was like, you know, I
Speaker 3: could try to do what I do, which is do
Speaker 3: like a go do a night in Philly at the
Speaker 3: comedy club and you know, do stuff like that. But
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm running out of cities. I've already been
Speaker 3: to all of them lately. I want to go to all.
Speaker 1: The cities, right, But it's scary, you know, of course,
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: If I was to go do a comedy club in
Speaker 3: somewhere in the middle of the country in a red
Speaker 3: state and I don't sell out, it's gonna be the
Speaker 3: locals showing up to see six foot one and trans
Speaker 3: with ostrich feathers and rhinestones on. These people are gonna
Speaker 3: be like, what is that. So I had this idea, Well,
Speaker 3: there's gay bars everywhere. Sure, So what if I did
Speaker 3: a tour at places where they do drag shows like
Speaker 3: gay bars, because they'll have a stage, they'll have chairs,
Speaker 3: they'll have a dressing.
Speaker 1: Room welcoming audience.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And then also I was like, wait a minute.
Speaker 3: You know, comedy clubs are like, hey, come see the
Speaker 3: one of the fifty shows we've got going on this week,
Speaker 3: and then like you go to a place like a
Speaker 3: gay bar, they're like, we're having a comedation. We have
Speaker 3: a comedian from out of town that's been on television
Speaker 3: that's coming here. And so I told these places, put
Speaker 3: my picture up above the urinals in all these places
Speaker 3: and let them know I'm coming to town. I ended
Speaker 3: up doing fifty shows across America. Since I didn't really
Speaker 3: have much of a budget, I decided I'm going to
Speaker 3: drive myself. I rented rental cars, drove from city to city,
Speaker 3: sold my own merch so made all my event bright links,
Speaker 3: and had local performers open for me, drag queens, trans performers,
Speaker 3: and so. The audiobook is talking about being a trans
Speaker 3: comedian in America in twenty twenty five, but also talking
Speaker 3: to other people across America that are dealing with this
Speaker 3: current America and trying to find the humor.
Speaker 1: And did you have a least favorite city? Yes, let's hear,
Speaker 1: let's hear the worst city in I'm here.
Speaker 3: Well, see, that's the thing when people talk about like
Speaker 3: that specific scenario, it's more so like the venue. Right,
Speaker 3: you know it's not the city.
Speaker 1: But you can now you've made a disclaimer. Now tell
Speaker 1: us the worst city in America.
Speaker 3: I struggled in Mobile, Alabama, Alabama. Okay, I struggled a
Speaker 3: little bit there. That was a difficult one. You'll have
Speaker 3: to be very diplomatic to listen to the audio book. Okay,
Speaker 3: I'd given it all away for free. But I could
Speaker 3: tell you favorite cities. Yeah, let's hear some things, because
Speaker 3: there's a lot that I went to that i'd never
Speaker 3: stepped foot in.
Speaker 1: Right, and we're surprised by.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Oklahoma City, Oh.
Speaker 1: Oklahoma really seems to be working it out. It seems
Speaker 1: like there's an interesting art scene. And I don't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've heard great things about Tulsa. I didn't do Tulsa.
Speaker 3: I did Oklahoma City and that was good, really good.
Speaker 3: The audience was great. Which they also had like a
Speaker 3: gay resort that was like across from the gay bar
Speaker 3: that I stayed to.
Speaker 1: How was the resort a scene?
Speaker 3: For sure? There was a great show I did in Omaha, Okay,
Speaker 3: great city. I loved Omaha. I never been there. I
Speaker 3: did all. I went up to Alaska.
Speaker 1: So how like it was it like three months? Okay?
Speaker 3: So like for example, one trip, I flew to Miami,
Speaker 3: rented a car, and dropped off the car in New
Speaker 3: York City.
Speaker 1: Okay, perfect, And I was gone for like a month.
Speaker 3: On that one I did all of oh my god.
Speaker 1: Ashville I've heard about Ashville.
Speaker 3: Ashville, Yeah, I did. I did them all Texas said
Speaker 3: to Dallas, I did. I mean I was everywhere.
Speaker 1: What was like the longest distance you drove?
Speaker 3: There was a couple of days that and I kind
Speaker 3: of made a rule for myself. I'm not doing shows
Speaker 3: on days that I drive more than four hours. Very smart,
Speaker 3: that's just too much. I can't imagine, because there were
Speaker 3: some days where I had like a six seven, eight
Speaker 3: hour right right, And I didn't do those days, like
Speaker 3: because I remember when I had to go up to
Speaker 3: like Boise, Like I feel like I went up to
Speaker 3: Boise from like Arizona or something.
Speaker 1: Oh that's a long drive and it was long. Did
Speaker 1: you drive through Utah?
Speaker 3: Yes? And part of the reason, you know, I never
Speaker 3: put together a tour by myself.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 3: And also, trying to get gay bars to answer the
Speaker 3: phone is not easy.
Speaker 1: Don't get me. Getting anyone to answer a phone business
Speaker 1: forget it.
Speaker 3: But these gay bars, like I don't blame them. They're
Speaker 3: concerned with their everyday operations. They're not sitting around by
Speaker 3: the email waiting to get a phone call from some
Speaker 3: lady that lives in LA and talks to ghosts. For
Speaker 3: a living. That's like, hey, can I come do comedy?
Speaker 3: Like they're not worried about me. So there was some
Speaker 3: places that it's like, couldn't get a place in Albuquerque,
Speaker 3: So I guess we're just gonna drive through Albuquerque.
Speaker 1: Right, wasting out. Yeah, what are you listening to in
Speaker 1: the car?
Speaker 3: I listen to a lot of my friends on the phone.
Speaker 1: I you're doing a lot of talking.
Speaker 3: Love phone talking. Do you find as a podcaster you're
Speaker 3: a phone talker?
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm happy. Well, most of the time. I'm
Speaker 1: happy to get a call from a friend and talk
Speaker 1: for a while if I have something else I can do,
Speaker 1: if I can do yard work or clean the house
Speaker 1: or something. But to just be on the phone, I
Speaker 1: don't like doing that. I do and when I'm driving,
Speaker 1: I would rather get too distracted talking on the phone.
Speaker 1: I'd rather be listening to music.
Speaker 3: Oh see, when I'm on the phone driving it makes
Speaker 3: me alert, interesting, it makes me because if I put
Speaker 3: on a podcast, I'm about to fall asleep.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't listen to a podcast while driving. There's
Speaker 1: unless it's the most compelling story you can possibly imagine.
Speaker 3: Well, and you know, Ghosted by Roz Hernandez is a.
Speaker 1: Great one, famously boring.
Speaker 3: No, it's it's scary stories that people tell and I'll
Speaker 3: keep you on the edge of your seat.
Speaker 1: Terrible guests, I can say from personal experience, a horrible guest.
Speaker 1: Have you been at twice twice? Yeah, yeah, twice? I think, yeah, yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: So you're just talking on the phone, you're just rolling calls.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was doing a lot of that. I also
Speaker 3: listened to like a lot of I love disco divas,
Speaker 3: I love like eighties house music. I committed to the
Speaker 3: gayness of the tour. The tour was called Roserrandez. I
Speaker 3: can't even say my name, Rodernandez does comedy in a
Speaker 3: gay bar. I just wanted to make it as simple
Speaker 3: and let.
Speaker 1: People know what people need. And yeah, they just spell
Speaker 1: it out.
Speaker 3: And so I was just like I had the gayest
Speaker 3: couple of months, Like I just all I wanted to
Speaker 3: do was just be around gay people. If I had
Speaker 3: a night off, I went to the local gay place
Speaker 3: and met strangers, Like I just wanted to be around
Speaker 3: LGBT people and just see how they're new one.
Speaker 1: Did you have any like supernatural experiences on the road.
Speaker 3: I did because as I'm over here, you know, right now,
Speaker 3: I'm pitching to you the audiobook I wrote by myself
Speaker 3: about the two where I put together by myself. I
Speaker 3: also do a YouTube show by myself where I go
Speaker 3: ghost hunting, and that one I do it's called The
Speaker 3: Haunted Doll Ralese Hernandez The Haunted Doll, and I do
Speaker 3: it in haunted hotel rooms with guys I meet on grinder.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's a great idea. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So while I was out of the house, I'm like,
Speaker 3: you know, let's find on these off nights, let's go
Speaker 3: to some haunted hotels so I can get double the content.
Speaker 3: So I did, and I didn't really want to include
Speaker 3: much of that in the audiobook because it's about something.
Speaker 1: A separate in my opinion.
Speaker 3: But the like the ghost for me is entertainment. I mean,
Speaker 3: it's all real. I don't fake anything. But I'm like,
Speaker 3: that is it's light. It's yes, it's light. I think
Speaker 3: an even the haunted hotels I go to, I don't
Speaker 3: like going to ones where the person was brutally murdered,
Speaker 3: Like I don't want that. I wanted to be the
Speaker 3: spooky lady exactly. Victoria woman that got too sick is
Speaker 3: my bread and butter. And I went to a place
Speaker 3: in New Orleans where again I'm a producer over here
Speaker 3: of my own reality show on YouTube, so I'm doing
Speaker 3: my best with zero budget. But I booked specifically the
Speaker 3: haunted room at this hotel where a nun haunts this room.
Speaker 3: I love ann, very excited about this. I arrived, they said, whoops,
Speaker 3: we already booked that room. No, and so they're like,
Speaker 3: the best we can do two doors down adjacent to
Speaker 3: a haunting exactly. So that's what we had to do.
Speaker 3: And I ended up being two doors down from the
Speaker 3: haunted room, but the whole building's haunted so now, and
Speaker 3: I kept trying my best to get I was going
Speaker 3: up to the door of the haunted room and being like, sister,
Speaker 3: come over this room. I was really trying to get
Speaker 3: her to join me. And the staff told me a
Speaker 3: story that this woman was staying in that room. I
Speaker 3: think it was my room, where it was one of
Speaker 3: the rooms in this area of the hotel, and she
Speaker 3: woke up in the middle of the night and saw
Speaker 3: the noun oh, and she closed her eyes when she
Speaker 3: woke up to They say she had a black eye. The
Speaker 3: nun attacked, she punched her, decked her right in the face.
Speaker 1: Not used to do all kinds of things.
Speaker 3: Yes, they do.
Speaker 1: They go skiing, et cetera.
Speaker 3: They run choirs, sister act.
Speaker 1: They go under cover.
Speaker 3: They go undercover is what I was trying to think of.
Speaker 3: They go undercover as a secret None.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess I've never actually seen sustrect, but.
Speaker 3: They have done.
Speaker 1: They die from Katy Perry.
Speaker 3: Wow, allegedly.
Speaker 1: I want to be on record of saying Katy Perry
Speaker 1: killed Ann.
Speaker 3: That's for you to do legally.
Speaker 1: I feel like that's fine.
Speaker 3: So anyway, I go to two doors down from the
Speaker 3: Haunted Nun room didn't I had a decent amount happened.
Speaker 3: I had a great grinder guy who's the psychic. Yeah,
Speaker 3: So anyone that wants to see what I'm talking about
Speaker 3: the episodes on YouTube, the Haunted Doll, I do my
Speaker 3: investigation whatever. Next day, I wake up to drive the
Speaker 3: Little Rock to do a comedy show, and I have
Speaker 3: the most hideous big purple bruised on the side of
Speaker 3: my leg, black and blue, swollen and even wretched on
Speaker 3: the outdoit? WHOA my skin hideous? I have pictures of
Speaker 3: it on my YouTube and I'm sitting here thinking maybe
Speaker 3: I got a blood clot because I'm driving these long distances.
Speaker 3: I was really nervous about that to begin with.
Speaker 1: I gotta get up and walk around, walking around.
Speaker 3: I was panicking on my whole drive over to Little Rock.
Speaker 3: Actually almost ran a gas in Mississippi. Another story, go
Speaker 3: to the urgent care, wait hours and hours at three am.
Speaker 3: They call me as I'm sleeping in my car because
Speaker 3: I'm waiting because the line is so long. At the
Speaker 3: urgent care, they finally give me ultrasounds on my leg.
Speaker 3: They asked me if I was pregnant, which was so
Speaker 3: nice of them. They did not have to do that.
Speaker 3: But they give me the ultrasound on my legs and
Speaker 3: they're like, it's a bruise. It's just a bruise. And
Speaker 3: I was like, are you sure it's not a blood clock, Like,
Speaker 3: how would this happen? I would know if I hit
Speaker 3: my like this.
Speaker 1: Right absolutely that would wake you up or something.
Speaker 3: They said, no, it just looks like you hit it
Speaker 3: on something. I didn't, so I believe that that was
Speaker 3: the noun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And the medical establishment is on your side.
Speaker 3: Of course, always always.
Speaker 1: What are you doing. What are you doing for food
Speaker 1: while you're on the road?
Speaker 3: Not good? I will tell you I gained thirty pounds
Speaker 3: last year. Okay, I've since lost it. You look great,
Speaker 3: Thank you. A big problem that I had was I
Speaker 3: discovered something called chewy tic TACs.
Speaker 1: Oh this sounds right up my alley.
Speaker 3: They're kind of an underground candy. You kind of have
Speaker 3: to know about it to be into it, because they're not.
Speaker 3: They're not everywhere, right, but they I think they launched
Speaker 3: last summer and they were every gas station. I went
Speaker 3: to hot them and then I posted about it, and
Speaker 3: then people started bringing them.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, to give me right.
Speaker 3: But they're basically picture tic tac which already have just
Speaker 3: the best flavor crunchy.
Speaker 1: I love the lime ones. The citrus ones are so good.
Speaker 3: Oh just what I do know one gas station not
Speaker 3: far from here if you need a recommendation. But they
Speaker 3: it's like a jelly bean but crunchy.
Speaker 1: Oh this sounds incredible to me.
Speaker 3: So good. They make them both sour version and non
Speaker 3: sour version, like a mint. No no, no, no, no no no.
Speaker 3: The regular version is there's an orange one, a green,
Speaker 3: yellow one. They're so delicious. And they're crunched. The crunch
Speaker 3: with the chew. It really got through hours of driving.
Speaker 1: Just meals and meals of that.
Speaker 3: Was my meals. Seriously, it was so good.
Speaker 1: And yeah, what is tik tak is technically like a
Speaker 1: breath fresh and earth it's candy, it's literally and it
Speaker 1: just happens to be shaped like a little pill so
Speaker 1: it seems more on the other side. But I love
Speaker 1: the container it comes in. They really dialed in on.
Speaker 3: The tic things come in a bag.
Speaker 1: Oh that feels unnatural to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, these are in a full bag and they make
Speaker 3: big the share size, which I wasn't sharing, and then
Speaker 3: they make like a smaller version.
Speaker 1: Of a bag of tic TACs. Just wait, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: you're gonna This does not make any sense to me.
Speaker 3: You know, I really try to stay away from Amazon,
Speaker 3: but I have made a couple of purchases of Chewy
Speaker 3: tiktoks because they're on there.
Speaker 1: I bet I've probably crossed paths with these in a
Speaker 1: store and because they were in a bag, it didn't
Speaker 1: even register them.
Speaker 3: No, people are just people are going through the about
Speaker 3: their lives not knowing about Chewy tiktoks, and everybody I
Speaker 3: have said, sit down and put this in your mouth.
Speaker 3: They have said that is one of the best candies
Speaker 3: I've ever had.
Speaker 1: I wonder if you would like do you know the
Speaker 1: the uh Trolley sour worms they have? The eggs are
Speaker 1: my favorite thing in the way.
Speaker 3: That's another candy that's really hard to find.
Speaker 1: It nearly impossible.
Speaker 3: And those are my favorite candy. Loves those two.
Speaker 1: I've loved them since seventh grade.
Speaker 3: Me too, And somehow they still make them. But they're
Speaker 3: you and I know the gas stations that have those.
Speaker 1: Really Okay, I really do need a recommendation because I
Speaker 1: was about to order them online, but then I was like,
Speaker 1: what am I doing.
Speaker 3: For years in Atwater Village? The gas station right by
Speaker 3: Del Taco. Okay, sure they have them. I've got kend lately,
Speaker 3: but they they always did.
Speaker 1: They would have them in the vending machines in my
Speaker 1: middle school and I would always have them on my backpack.
Speaker 3: They're so good, and that's a similar They're not as
Speaker 3: crunchy as the tic tac chewies, right, but they have
Speaker 3: sometimes they are.
Speaker 1: I like them when they're a little little stale.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like to work for it. And they're they're
Speaker 3: chewy on the inside and a little coated on the end.
Speaker 3: Those are more coated.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a it's like a shell. It's like
Speaker 1: a little egg shell.
Speaker 3: Now you haven't seen a shelter. You've had the chewy
Speaker 3: tic TACs.
Speaker 1: But this is so interesting. So they're kind of in
Speaker 1: the same genre.
Speaker 3: They are because they're they're jelly beanie.
Speaker 1: Right, and I don't like jelly beans. I like I
Speaker 1: like jelly bellies.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, but like the crappy like oh like those
Speaker 3: big ones awful.
Speaker 1: Those are like easter candy garbage, waxy. Yeah, the flavor
Speaker 1: is always terrible. Yeah, well, this is a great new recommendation.
Speaker 1: I'm really excited and listener, if you haven't had the
Speaker 1: Bright Crawler eggs, I mean.
Speaker 3: It's just there's not enough. Don't tell people there's we
Speaker 3: have a shortage. Wait, how do you feel about TUTSI rolls?
Speaker 1: I don't mind twotsyrral. I would never go out of
Speaker 1: my way to eat a twitzy.
Speaker 3: Rall, well you might because they make an egg.
Speaker 1: They make an egg.
Speaker 3: They make an egg that a lot of people don't
Speaker 3: know about. It's a easter candy, right that you can
Speaker 3: also order online. That is tootsy eggs.
Speaker 1: Whoa. And but it's like the totsyral flavor.
Speaker 3: Tootsy roll on the inside, coated, crunchy on the outside.
Speaker 1: Fascinating, and I all of them. I like the little fruities,
Speaker 1: the fruit flavor, fine totsy rolls.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like the blue ones.
Speaker 1: That's the vanilla one isn't Oh yeah, you're right, that's gross. Yea,
Speaker 1: a trick.
Speaker 3: No, but they do make a thing. No, no, because
Speaker 3: there's they're bigger, and yes, that is a vanilla and
Speaker 3: it's not okay, but there they make skinny little ones.
Speaker 3: That are They make a blue and an orange, and
Speaker 3: a pink.
Speaker 1: And a green.
Speaker 3: Yes, lime, and that's a different lime.
Speaker 1: Oh interesting, I wonder the vanilla one is probably more
Speaker 1: just kind of the vanilla version of a regular totsy roll.
Speaker 3: Yes, but blue, Yeah.
Speaker 1: You think it's blue raspberry?
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: And then you're just with the worst. Can you can imagine?
Speaker 1: That's not good? Terrible?
Speaker 3: That's not good.
Speaker 1: Well, you already brought it up, so we might as
Speaker 1: well get into it. You brought another gift. Should we
Speaker 1: open it here on the show?
Speaker 3: I think we should. I think it's gonna be special. Okay,
Speaker 3: I I think I'm hoping that nobody has ever brought
Speaker 3: you this before. Just go for it.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's a really dramatic black bag reaching in.
Speaker 3: Wait, I don't know what that paper is. What what's
Speaker 3: that paper?
Speaker 1: There's a paper for it, heirloom quality kitchen tensil.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna be honest with you. That bag was
Speaker 3: provided by your producer, and I didn't I didn't have
Speaker 3: anything to do with whatever was already in the bag.
Speaker 1: Well, we can talk kitchen utensils all night.
Speaker 3: We could do that if you want. But what I
Speaker 3: got you is what's in your hand?
Speaker 1: Okay? Oh wait, are these little balloons?
Speaker 3: Those are the types of balloons that are used for
Speaker 3: balloon animals.
Speaker 1: Oh can you tie balloon animals?
Speaker 3: As a matter of fact, I can.
Speaker 1: Well, we can't say that and not make one. Well.
Speaker 3: Part of the reason I was thinking as we were
Speaker 3: going to talk about my audiobook was like last year
Speaker 3: I needed to sell merge at my shows and I
Speaker 3: and I need like a little thing. I'm not going
Speaker 3: to get a bunch of T shirt.
Speaker 1: Right, how do you carry that around?
Speaker 3: So I got about stickers and little oh shit. The
Speaker 3: other thing from your gift I forgot to give you
Speaker 3: was one of my bumper stickers which I made for
Speaker 3: my tour. And the bumper stickers say Roz Fernande should
Speaker 3: be more famous.
Speaker 1: This is incredible bumpers.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the cause you can get behind those have
Speaker 3: done very well.
Speaker 1: That's a very fun and your photos so great on it.
Speaker 1: This is ideal.
Speaker 3: Thank you. I only I don't sell them online. I
Speaker 3: only saw them at live shows. But so I got
Speaker 3: mad and then I was like, I need more stuff.
Speaker 3: What else can I do? And I was like, I
Speaker 3: don't want to make balloon animals from when I was
Speaker 3: a kid, and so I was like, how about this.
Speaker 3: Five dollars, I'll make you a shitty balloon animal. And
Speaker 3: so I added that to my meet and greets and
Speaker 3: they're flying off for this. Oh my god. Five dollars year,
Speaker 3: five dollars there I'm making. So I made hundreds of
Speaker 3: poodles and whatever last year. I'm not great at it,
Speaker 3: and I'm very honest about that, but you try. But
Speaker 3: let me tell you something you ain't gonna see Shane
Speaker 3: Gillis making balloon animals after the comedy show.
Speaker 1: That's the only thing wrong. With Shane Gills.
Speaker 3: All right, so what do you want?
Speaker 1: Give me a well, what are options? I don't want
Speaker 1: to let's use it poodle, animal, alligator?
Speaker 3: Look, sure would an alligator. That would not work.
Speaker 1: Look, this is all it's all halfway to being an alligator.
Speaker 1: It's the same, it's not that's come on, let's say
Speaker 1: I have monkey.
Speaker 3: I actually practiced earlier, and I did make a monkey.
Speaker 1: You were able to do.
Speaker 3: I didn't think I could do.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I came out of my mouth and I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: she's gonna be somewhere. Try a monkey, let's say, Okay,
Speaker 1: a yellow monkey. Yes, okay, we can try it.
Speaker 3: It's the worst sound ever, like once you start twisting
Speaker 3: and whatever.
Speaker 1: Oh, this is gonna be great for audio. Get it
Speaker 1: near the mic.
Speaker 3: Basically, the story goes that when I was a child,
Speaker 3: I was a professional clown, really like doing birthday parties. Yes,
Speaker 3: I was at what age? Started at nine?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: My father trying to talk over this. My father was
Speaker 3: a clown, yes, but he didn't make bolling animals.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: He was a firefighter and more of like an educational clown.
Speaker 1: Okay, and like fire safety yes, okay.
Speaker 3: Exactly, No he would teach kid.
Speaker 1: No, he was a fire safety tripping narcissist. Okay, so
Speaker 1: you it kind of runs in the family. Then look,
Speaker 1: I mean she's already there's already a monkey head.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: But so I'm doing it so low, you can do
Speaker 1: it higher.
Speaker 3: I just don't want to be too loud in the microphone.
Speaker 1: It's fine, and you're on camera.
Speaker 3: So I wanted to be a clown because I wanted
Speaker 3: to make some money.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, nine years old, and I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, hello, I got bills to peg. So I started.
Speaker 3: I taught myself how to do balloon animals and magic
Speaker 3: tricks and and I can still juggle. I mean, this
Speaker 3: stuff is me.
Speaker 1: Did you just check books out at the library or sything?
Speaker 3: Exactly? And I learned how to I was. I used
Speaker 3: to be really good at it, but I can still
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm far beyond what I could even imagine.
Speaker 1: I'm always afraid I'm going to pop the balloon.
Speaker 3: I'm terrified right now, like seriously, because it does happen,
Speaker 3: and it's scary.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, a loud pop. Let's see while you're
Speaker 1: getting I mean it's almost done, I would say, and
Speaker 1: you've been having a conversation while doing it, which is
Speaker 1: also impressive.
Speaker 3: No problem, piece of cake.
Speaker 1: Look at this. That's a sweet little Look at that.
Speaker 3: And then you could like maybe put your hand through
Speaker 3: it or something, a bracelet maybe. Now, oh god, there
Speaker 3: we go. Yeah, it's cute.
Speaker 1: Let's set it up here. That's very Do you want
Speaker 1: to make another? Or should I try to make one?
Speaker 1: Could you try to walk me through?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Please, we can try blow this up for me.
Speaker 3: And then you want to learn how to make the
Speaker 3: easiest possible thing, Let's do a giraffe.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, this is how often do you get to
Speaker 1: learn from an expert? Oh, come on, you just made
Speaker 1: a monkey.
Speaker 3: But okay, here's the go for you.
Speaker 1: All right, one for me and then yeah, then we'll
Speaker 1: have you can kind of walk me through it. Okay,
Speaker 1: I've got a white blue and I'm going to we'll
Speaker 1: be making a draft today.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's sort of. This is it's a fun gift.
Speaker 3: You can you get a little free lesson. It's like
Speaker 3: going to color me mine or something like that.
Speaker 1: You should open a balloon animal store like that.
Speaker 3: No, I'm not that passionate about this, Okay, okay, So
Speaker 3: it's gonna be bigger than man.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: So first you're gonna make.
Speaker 1: You like I'm an.
Speaker 3: Okay, Oh, you're gonna pop it up. Tell okay, now
Speaker 3: hold it with your hand. We're not losing it. But
Speaker 3: now we're gonna do.
Speaker 1: There's no way I can do it.
Speaker 3: And don't lose that first one. You already lost the
Speaker 3: first one.
Speaker 1: I'm so nervous. Okay, Okay, I've got two.
Speaker 3: No, you need three?
Speaker 1: Three?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, no, it's terrifying.
Speaker 1: It's really a scary Okay, I've got three. Okay, this
Speaker 1: is far beyond what I could have imagined.
Speaker 3: See what I got going on here?
Speaker 1: You kind of like make a little We want to.
Speaker 3: Get these too, twist it. Those are the ears.
Speaker 1: Okay, got the giraffe?
Speaker 3: Oh no, So I need you to do this.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's here. I'm getting a little more confidently, also yours.
Speaker 3: You somehow figure out a way to make it not
Speaker 3: sound like death, Like you're.
Speaker 1: Got to really slippery one or something.
Speaker 3: They're very quiet.
Speaker 1: Let's seem so scared it's gonna pop. Okay, So what
Speaker 1: do I do? Like that?
Speaker 3: Okay, but you have to twist them around. You have
Speaker 3: to twist these two.
Speaker 1: Break god.
Speaker 3: Okay, now is it enough where they stick?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: I think so.
Speaker 3: I don't want to Okay, you need to twist a
Speaker 3: little bit more because I can tell it's about to
Speaker 3: come undone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, there we go.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good start right now. Okay, now this
Speaker 3: is the net all right, This is okay great, So
Speaker 3: maybe we can do like down here, twist it, twist it,
Speaker 3: hold it.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: Now you're gonna twist two more legs, okay, just like
Speaker 3: you just said.
Speaker 1: One and then again. Oh my god, how did you
Speaker 1: do that? So I twist here a little below it?
Speaker 3: No that you that's too big?
Speaker 1: Smaller like little like the years work.
Speaker 3: And two of those.
Speaker 1: Here?
Speaker 3: Come on, give me one more?
Speaker 1: Okay, twisted I did? How do you do this? Good grief?
Speaker 3: God, damn it. Twist it?
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I okay.
Speaker 3: Now bend it and twist those two together.
Speaker 1: It's too long, It likes too long.
Speaker 3: This is very frustrating for me as someone that does
Speaker 3: this for a living.
Speaker 1: I'm trying. I'm trying my best. Okay, twisting, yep, twisting,
Speaker 1: twisting okay, oh.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, we're almost there now, back legs, so we
Speaker 3: have to make the center. Okay, and you you're you
Speaker 3: got more room than I do here, but you're going
Speaker 3: to take two. You're gonna do it again. Do the
Speaker 3: same process again, right, Just make two more yeah, you know,
Speaker 3: like inch and a half or whatever.
Speaker 1: And then one more.
Speaker 3: Uh huh, No, it has to be the same as
Speaker 3: the one in front of it. That's small. It's fine,
Speaker 3: you know it's every giraffe is different.
Speaker 1: Give me a break.
Speaker 3: That's good. That's bended. Yep, and twist those two together,
Speaker 3: and you're gonna have yourself a giraffe. If you can
Speaker 3: do that.
Speaker 1: Well, this is the finest step. If I can do this,
Speaker 1: I could do anything.
Speaker 3: No, I'm sorry to take that.
Speaker 1: You're so close, but I'm in, I'm sweating. I'm a listener.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you're absolutely thrilled.
Speaker 3: With Yeah, they're loving this. Just keep twist. No, it's
Speaker 3: too small, too small, too small, you know what.
Speaker 1: This one's a little bit about this.
Speaker 3: Let me see.
Speaker 1: No, I want to do it. Let me do it.
Speaker 3: No, I'm not going to do it for you. I
Speaker 3: just wanted to show you something with this. Okay, So
Speaker 3: we're just gonna adjust a little bit. Go do this.
Speaker 3: It's a giraffe on a stick. Okay, that's that's good.
Speaker 1: That's as good as it's going to get.
Speaker 3: That's pretty good.
Speaker 1: That's pretty impressive.
Speaker 3: It's a giraffe that I'm gonna try.
Speaker 1: One more time. Okay, I'm not gonna let you patron free.
Speaker 3: Oh boy, Oh that's obscene. That is absolutely sure.
Speaker 1: There's something that something has happened.
Speaker 3: Well, you just have to adjust around because currently just
Speaker 3: flip flipp kale giant dingling. Okay, you've done it.
Speaker 1: I did it.
Speaker 3: That is huge for me a giraffe. So you just
Speaker 3: got yourself a lesson.
Speaker 1: Unbelievable.
Speaker 3: You can now add this to your resume along with
Speaker 3: horseback riding and roller skating and everything else you can
Speaker 3: do special skills.
Speaker 1: Yes, wow, that's incredible. So you were you started doing
Speaker 1: this at nine? Were you? I remember these books called
Speaker 1: like the Klutz books? Do you remember these? That's how
Speaker 1: I learned to juggle. And I only can do it
Speaker 1: one handed for like ten seconds.
Speaker 3: I'm pretty decent at regular old juggling, Like I can
Speaker 3: do three balls.
Speaker 1: That's pretty so impressive to me.
Speaker 3: You know what, I'm very good at and I've always
Speaker 3: have been and just recently I started embracing it catching
Speaker 3: things in my mouth. Really yeah. That was never a
Speaker 3: clown trick, but it's something I recently started on stage,
Speaker 3: mainly because I don't have much material. I was just like,
Speaker 3: somebody was eating cheese. It in the audience. Great snack
Speaker 3: is in Provincetown. They just brought a box of cheese
Speaker 3: and I said, you know what, throw on up and
Speaker 3: let me catch it in my mouth. And I did.
Speaker 3: I actually work at SeaWorld, and so then I decided recently, oh,
Speaker 3: here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna bring a bag
Speaker 3: of grapes with me. Will bagy of grape because grapes
Speaker 3: I think of the best, because they don't hurt if
Speaker 3: they hit you. Good weight to it. I've been saying,
Speaker 3: who wants to bet I've got ten dollars? Who will
Speaker 3: bet me ten dollars that I can catch this in
Speaker 3: my mouth?
Speaker 1: Like an old fashioned scam artist.
Speaker 3: Give him a show. Look at I got precis. People
Speaker 3: know listening that they that we have the best snacks here.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna try to You're gonna try to catch
Speaker 1: in your mouth, Okay, tell me when.
Speaker 3: I think you should do?
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, Okay, I'm gonna stand up here. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: that was hang. I'm so sorry. Let's try it again. Okay,
Speaker 1: look at these freaking guns you got. Okay, that's.
Speaker 3: You know what. Never mind, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I've never successfully thrown anything. In my defense, I've never
Speaker 1: thrown a baseball. Correct shade. I never learned to throw.
Speaker 3: Throwing is not.
Speaker 1: It was an early like gay sign of like, oh
Speaker 1: he can't even throw a baseball.
Speaker 3: Oh god, the thought of I know. I was recently
Speaker 3: talking to a guy that was like he was like, oh,
Speaker 3: he's throwing around a football. I'm like, you can throw
Speaker 3: a football.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine the trauma.
Speaker 3: Have someone like throwing a football at me and then
Speaker 3: they're like hand it back, and I'm like I have
Speaker 3: to carry it over. I have like be silly about it, like.
Speaker 1: Like no, yeah, not for me. So that's why I'm
Speaker 1: not even not capable of throwing a pretzel to here.
Speaker 3: Okay, now I feel bad.
Speaker 1: You've really embarrassed me.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I thought you've exposed something.
Speaker 3: Very good.
Speaker 1: Can I try? I do it myself, let me see
Speaker 1: if I can get it. Okay, I'm trying a Snyder's
Speaker 1: pretzel here, let's sit here.
Speaker 3: You touch my tongue, you put your entire tongue out.
Speaker 1: It did hit my tongue.
Speaker 3: You just did a man.
Speaker 1: Well, I got the balloon animal. I think we should
Speaker 1: play a game. Okay, before I throw anything else. We're
Speaker 1: gonna play a game. We're gonna play two games. We're
Speaker 1: gonna play invite list and then gift to a curse.
Speaker 1: But invite list. Well, first of all, I need a
Speaker 1: number between one and ten from you four. Okay, I
Speaker 1: have to do some light calculating to get the game pieces.
Speaker 1: So promote, recommend, do whatever you want. I'll be right back.
Speaker 3: Hey, everybody at home, so I'm sure you're ready to
Speaker 3: know that I am Bridgers exactly right, sister. My podcast,
Speaker 3: which records in this exact same room, is called Ghosted
Speaker 3: by ros Hernandez, and there's new episodes every Monday, and
Speaker 3: they are always with famous people, just like I always say,
Speaker 3: people I like, so it could be like anyone, truly,
Speaker 3: I just have to like them. And lots of drag queens,
Speaker 3: lots of just like fun people, and we talk about
Speaker 3: ghosts and aliens and psychics and all of that stuff.
Speaker 3: And my audiobook being in an empty bottle everywhere you
Speaker 3: get audio books Simon and Schuster. I mean, come on,
Speaker 3: it's the real it's the real, real thing, the real thing,
Speaker 3: and you can if you throw a grape, I'll catch
Speaker 3: it in my mouth. Anywhere you see me at any
Speaker 3: time of the day. And my YouTube channel ros Hernandez
Speaker 3: the Doll. The series is called Rosernez The Haunted Doll.
Speaker 3: Where I find guys on Grinder to go gos hunting
Speaker 3: with me, Instagram, ros Hernandez listener, seek out raws.
Speaker 1: It's a worthwhile expedition. Okay, this is how we're going
Speaker 1: to play invite list. I'm going to start naming a
Speaker 1: list of celebrities. You say, invited or not invited. You
Speaker 1: get to pick ten. Once we get to ten, that's
Speaker 1: the party. Okay, does that make perfect sense? Uh huh,
Speaker 1: all right, let's get going here. Scarlet Johansson, Wait wait,
Speaker 1: do I do I know what the party is? You
Speaker 1: can decide after because it's like there's some things I
Speaker 1: would want her to be at, other things I don't. Well,
Speaker 1: you've just gotten you just have to say.
Speaker 3: If it's like a bikini contest, like I don't want
Speaker 3: her there, she's not invited.
Speaker 1: Okay, Scarlett Johansson not invited, Chris Rock invited, Al Pacino
Speaker 1: not invited, Troy Savonn invited, Javier Bardam round invited, Mel Gibson.
Speaker 3: That could be interesting, That could.
Speaker 1: Be very interesting, could.
Speaker 3: Be kind of funny, like Troy Savonnen and can you
Speaker 3: Mel Gibson.
Speaker 1: Not invited, Dick Van Dyke not invited, Jamie Foxx not invited,
Speaker 1: Madonna invited, Bill Maher not invited, Hudson Williams invited, RIEA.
Speaker 1: Pearlman invited, Bradley Cooper not invited, Justin Bieber not invited,
Speaker 1: Judge Judy invited, Judge Shooty knows how to party, Sizza,
Speaker 1: We're not sure yet. Wait you're not sure?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we have to see how everything goes with everyone.
Speaker 1: No, you have to decide. Not invited, Yoko Ono. Timothy
Speaker 1: Shallomey I kind of.
Speaker 3: Like him, Yeah, invited him and Troy Sevon.
Speaker 1: Oh. Wow, this party is really starting to get a theme.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Diana ross Oh invited, Megan Markle not invited. People
Speaker 3: think that I look like her with bang Oh.
Speaker 1: Interesting. I kind of can't picture what she looks like
Speaker 1: despite those two being on everything. I have just like
Speaker 1: a vague what you.
Speaker 3: And I could do videos as we should.
Speaker 1: That's a great idea. Gracie Abrams not invited, Marcia gay
Speaker 1: Harden not invited, Wilmer Valderrama, Oh my god, not invited,
Speaker 1: Robert Downey Jr. Not invited, Fergie invited, Taylor, Frankie Paul
Speaker 1: who's that she's a the kind of embattled secret life
Speaker 1: of Mormon wife. Lizzo invited, Bill Nye? We got it?
Speaker 1: Had we got it?
Speaker 3: Be not invited.
Speaker 1: Let's get into the.
Speaker 3: I saw ben Ny Panera bread twice.
Speaker 1: You saw Bill Nye?
Speaker 3: Yes, Oh my god? Which I'm Ventura Boulevard. This was
Speaker 3: years ago. I saw him there twice.
Speaker 1: Let's get in touch with that list here, ellis any report?
Speaker 4: Yes, we have ten guests. They are Chris Rock, Troy
Speaker 4: savonn Madonna Hudson, Williams, Raya Pearlman, Judge Judy, Timothy Shallome,
Speaker 4: Diana Ross, Fergie and Lizzo.
Speaker 1: Incredible. And you say ray A Pearlman, Do you say
Speaker 1: Ria Pearlman? Who's right? Ellis you are?
Speaker 4: Sir?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: Imagine Ria Pearlman and Judge.
Speaker 1: Jude they probably would be good friends. I can see
Speaker 1: them actually getting along.
Speaker 3: You've seen Judge Judy and her bathing suit on the
Speaker 3: yacht right.
Speaker 1: No, what, I'm googling it now, Judge. Oh, she's like
Speaker 1: the wealthiest bathing suit photos. Let's see here. Oh she
Speaker 1: looks great. Judge Judy disrobed on the cover of People
Speaker 1: looking fantastic. I bet she's a good time. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think probably I probably don't agree with a lot
Speaker 1: of her.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think her politics are not tough.
Speaker 1: I think. I mean, when you're a billionaire, just things
Speaker 1: start to fall apart, I think. But probably also a
Speaker 1: fun time. I had a dream once that Ria Perlman
Speaker 1: and Danny Davito were getting divorced. Two months later they
Speaker 1: split up. I don't think they ever officially divorced, but
Speaker 1: I really that's the closest I've ever come to having
Speaker 1: like a vision.
Speaker 3: Here you go trying to get on my podcast again.
Speaker 1: Bring me back. I've got a great storage to the
Speaker 1: story the last twenty seconds. Okay, So that's a nice
Speaker 1: list of people for your party. Is there any part
Speaker 1: Is there sort of party you would want to have
Speaker 1: with them? David Busters, Judge Judy at the ski ball machine.
Speaker 3: Yes, that sounds fun.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is we're gonna play gift or a curse.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna name three things. You'll tell me if they're
Speaker 1: a gift or a curse and why. Then I'll tell
Speaker 1: you if you're right or wrong. Because there are correct answers,
Speaker 1: you can lose the game. Okay, This first one is
Speaker 1: from a listener named Laura or Laura. We've got to
Speaker 1: settle on a pronunciation for that name.
Speaker 3: Now, Laura is usually l a r A.
Speaker 1: Really, the you is only Laura l a u r
Speaker 1: A is that's my understanding. Interesting because I would think
Speaker 1: l o r A is Laura.
Speaker 3: I think that could be too. I've never seen it
Speaker 3: l o r A.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Laura, it's kind of lively. Yeah, my apology to
Speaker 1: any l o r what's Dora with a with an L?
Speaker 3: Right, but Lara is usually l a r A.
Speaker 1: Interesting? Whatever, Okay, gift or a curse? Throwing water on
Speaker 1: the hot stones in a public sauna without asking the
Speaker 1: other sauna goers first.
Speaker 3: That's a gift?
Speaker 1: Why because the people?
Speaker 3: What does it do?
Speaker 1: I don't know what it does.
Speaker 3: It's fun sizzles, Yeah, it's very fajita. I think it's
Speaker 3: just like a change of pace and I think that's
Speaker 3: sometimes you need that, you need to shake things up
Speaker 3: a little bit. So I think it's a gift, whether
Speaker 3: the people like it or not.
Speaker 1: Correct, I think that's a gift too. I don't want
Speaker 1: to be asked. I'm already trying to relax in the sound.
Speaker 1: I don't want to like have to make a.
Speaker 3: Decisions me, do you mind? No, just do it, Just
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 1: And there's something kind of obnoxious and fun about it,
Speaker 1: just getting up and just tossing water and scaring everybody.
Speaker 1: I f agree, all right, one right so far. Number two.
Speaker 1: This is from a listener named Isaac. Gift or a curse?
Speaker 1: Have notification zone?
Speaker 3: I would say, gif now it's a curse? Why because
Speaker 3: sometimes I podcast and I look at my phone and
Speaker 3: then I see uh oh oh that's I'm gonna have
Speaker 3: to deal with that. Oh when this is over, and
Speaker 3: then I can't pay attention anymore. It's the podcast.
Speaker 1: Correct. I don't think there should even be an option.
Speaker 1: I'm notifications off almost all the time. I don't need
Speaker 1: to be bothered. Let me, I'll come to you don't.
Speaker 3: But what if it's an emergency? Well, but if you
Speaker 3: run a gay bar in Denver and a transgender comedian
Speaker 3: is trying to get a hold of you.
Speaker 1: That's the one exceptions, the one time I'll let my
Speaker 1: phone not deify me. Otherwise I want nothing to do
Speaker 1: with and everyone in my life is just constantly mad
Speaker 1: at me because that's how I feel.
Speaker 3: Sorry, Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: This third one is from a listener named Sid Gift
Speaker 1: or a curse ray Ban meta glasses.
Speaker 3: I think they're definitely a curse, but I do. I
Speaker 3: did recently tell this guy that I was talking to
Speaker 3: that he likes he likes. He's like Pan sexually likes
Speaker 3: everyone and I only like men. And I was like,
Speaker 3: I would date you, and like I don't really want
Speaker 3: to be like Polly or whatever, but I'm like, you
Speaker 3: can go hook up with guys, but you have to
Speaker 3: wear metaglasses and let me watch it. That's like the agreement.
Speaker 3: So in that scenario, I think it would be by
Speaker 3: the way, he didn't talk to me anymore. But yeah,
Speaker 3: but that would be one scenario.
Speaker 1: But you're saying overall, curse, curse, wrong gift. This to
Speaker 1: me is kind of the fine stop on knowing who
Speaker 1: someone is. Who in the world is buying the ray
Speaker 1: Ban metaglasses anybody who like, at this point in history,
Speaker 1: you're still giving into all of this. I think it's
Speaker 1: a great thing. You're really finally just exposing yourself.
Speaker 3: Oh you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's just like, I think we know enough at this point.
Speaker 1: You're now buying their product, buying the annoying glasses. Go ahead,
Speaker 1: expose yourself as a loser.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: I think that that's kind of the ultimate gift they're
Speaker 1: giving us, which is just I can't imagine any universe
Speaker 1: in which I would buy those. And when I see
Speaker 1: somebody that does it, just it throws you.
Speaker 3: I don't think I've ever seen them.
Speaker 1: I don't think i've seen them in person, but you
Speaker 1: know online you'll see Yeah. Yeah, well you've got two
Speaker 1: out of three. Not too bad. Pretty good, I would say,
Speaker 1: And you had nice reasoning and the last one and
Speaker 1: a story about someone you've alienated in your life, which
Speaker 1: is nice. Let's answer her listener question people are writing
Speaker 1: into isaid no Gives at gmail dot com, begging for answers.
Speaker 1: Will you help me answer question?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd love to.
Speaker 1: All right, this says hello. My husband has been a
Speaker 1: huge foundation for me. He works construction and owns his
Speaker 1: own painting business. He's super busy and the only thing
Speaker 1: that is a stress reliever is watching guitar theory videos
Speaker 1: and playing. He has his dream guitars, and I guess
Speaker 1: the pedals he wants. I guess I've painted three of
Speaker 1: his guitars, so I feel that is something I can't
Speaker 1: keep doing. Thank you. And that's from Megan in Virginia.
Speaker 1: So I guess Megan wants to get Charles or whatever
Speaker 1: his name is something for being a huge foundation for her.
Speaker 1: And she's been kind of ruining guitar after a guitar
Speaker 1: with her paint and so she's now wondering.
Speaker 3: Oh, so she painted the guitars by accident.
Speaker 1: No, she did it on purpose, but I assume she
Speaker 1: ruined them. Oh what else could have happened?
Speaker 3: So she's wondering, what can I get him that isn't
Speaker 3: a guitar.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's not me painting the guitar. I mean, we've
Speaker 1: got almost nothing to go from other than that he
Speaker 1: loves guitars.
Speaker 3: Okay, have you been to the Rock and Roll Hall
Speaker 3: of Fame in Cleveland?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: That's have you been there?
Speaker 3: I have?
Speaker 1: How was that experience?
Speaker 3: I went on a school trip when I was I
Speaker 3: think eighth grade and it was ruled rocked.
Speaker 1: Rocked, I'd go, I yeah, I don't know what that
Speaker 1: experience would be like.
Speaker 3: You know, it's just like, oh, there's an outfit that
Speaker 3: Sheryl Crow wore one time, and.
Speaker 1: Then you're like a pair of bootleg cheese.
Speaker 3: Yeah. It's always like that kind of thing. Like rock
Speaker 3: and roll Hall of Fame. It's always like, Okay, I
Speaker 3: guess now Coolio was rock and roll. Like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: The inductees are often very corny bands and stuff.
Speaker 3: It's like all genre. It's like all music.
Speaker 1: It's all music, and frequently like music that I think
Speaker 1: is just like, well, that is not great music anymore?
Speaker 3: One names ah.
Speaker 1: Let me look, let's see who's the inductees this year?
Speaker 1: Rock Hall inductees. Let's see if I can complain about
Speaker 1: one of them. Let's see here, how about who sucks? Well?
Speaker 1: These are all good so far?
Speaker 3: Who is that I saw?
Speaker 1: Like the Charrell's Queen Ramones. Let's see. But they're always
Speaker 1: very obvious too, and I haven't found a single Okay,
Speaker 1: Dave Matthews band, I'm sorry. That just discredits the entire thing.
Speaker 1: What can I say?
Speaker 3: I know, I feel like I would be pissed if
Speaker 3: I was like darling love Yeah.
Speaker 1: And suddenly I'm on the same level as Dave Matthew.
Speaker 3: I'd be like, what does that say about me?
Speaker 1: Right? It's embarrassing. Yeah, I don't like I would ask
Speaker 1: for my name to be removed at that point.
Speaker 3: Well, but I don't think she. I don't think anyone
Speaker 3: would do that. Actually, it's an honor still. But anyway,
Speaker 3: I think they should go to a great idea or
Speaker 3: to one of those ceremonies. Maybe might be fun.
Speaker 1: Oh sure, sure.
Speaker 3: But there's probably I'm assuming lots of amazing famous guitars
Speaker 3: that are on display in Cleveland. Do we know where
Speaker 3: these people live.
Speaker 1: They're in Virginia.
Speaker 3: It's just a little bit of a buy Cleveland.
Speaker 1: It's like a couple of days drive.
Speaker 3: I imagine listen for me and what I went through
Speaker 3: last year, that's nothing, no big deal.
Speaker 1: Get over yourself, get in the car, put on some
Speaker 1: rock music, and drive to Cleveland. Yeah, I think that
Speaker 1: sounds like.
Speaker 3: Some balloon animals. Teach yourself.
Speaker 1: Well, we answered the question perfectly. I insulted Dave Matthews band,
Speaker 1: and I think that everything's fine and I've got my balloon.
Speaker 1: I've kind of learned to a new skill today. This
Speaker 1: might be a first on the podcast.
Speaker 3: Really, no one's ever taught you anything, I don't think so.
Speaker 3: Oh that sucks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the podcast sucks.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 3: I love this podcast.
Speaker 1: Ross. I'm so happy you could be here today.
Speaker 3: I love being here and I am so happy that
Speaker 3: you invited me.
Speaker 1: Thank you for being here and listener. The podcast is
Speaker 1: now over. If you've just been listening, you should go
Speaker 1: over to YouTube and at least see some of this
Speaker 1: balloon animal magic happening. Don't rob yourself of that type
Speaker 1: of joy. And the podcast is over. So I love you, goodbye.
Speaker 1: I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our
Speaker 1: senior producer is Ellis Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully
Speaker 1: mixed by Ben Holliday. The theme song is by miracle
Speaker 1: Worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker,
Speaker 1: Patrick Coottner. You must follow the show on Instagram, and
Speaker 1: I said No Gifts, that's where you're going to see
Speaker 1: pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't
Speaker 1: you want to see the gifts?
Speaker 2: I thought I made myself perfectly clear. But you're a
Speaker 2: guess to my home. You gotta come to me empty,
Speaker 2: And I said, no, guess your own presences. Presence enough.
Speaker 2: I already had too much stuff.
Speaker 3: So how do you dare to surbey me?