1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:04,840 Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space. 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:09,600 Speaker 2: As you were working towards certain life goals, if it's 3 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,840 Speaker 2: meant for you to have that thing, if it's meant 4 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:16,439 Speaker 2: for you to accomplish that thing, you will. It may 5 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:21,360 Speaker 2: not occur in the time that you wanted to, but 6 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:22,160 Speaker 2: it will occur. 7 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration, 8 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments 9 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a 10 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also, 11 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:43,200 Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe 12 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatingheurspace dot com to access our 13 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab. 14 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 3: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting 15 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 3: women like you. 16 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 4: We're your hosts. 17 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 3: Doctor Dominique Broussard, a college professor and psychologist. 18 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:09,679 Speaker 5: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a 19 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 5: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please 20 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 5: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from 21 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,680 Speaker 5: five rooids to fake friends, and create a safe space 22 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 5: where black women can just be. 23 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 6: Hey, lady's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her Space podcast. 24 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 6: Are you currently a resident of the state of California 25 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 6: in contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, please 26 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 6: reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brussard dot com. 27 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 6: That's d R D O M I N I q 28 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 6: U E b R O U ss ar D dot 29 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 6: com to schedule a free fifty minute consultation. I look 30 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,279 Speaker 6: forward to hearing from. 31 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 2: You our quote of the day, your case, your path, 32 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 2: your race. All right, I'm gonna say that when we're 33 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 2: trying for the folks in the back. Your pace, your path, 34 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 2: your race, Nazi. We're coming into the fourth quarter of 35 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 2: the year. When you hear this quote, what comes up 36 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:33,520 Speaker 2: for you? 37 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:33,400 Speaker 5: Know? 38 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 4: You know that's always the question, that is always the question. 39 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 4: I'm thinking about it now. I may have to pass 40 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,320 Speaker 4: it to you because I want to get my thoughts 41 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 4: together on this. 42 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 7: I'm a pass it to you and then come back 43 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 7: to me. It's not simple, but it's profound, right yeah, 44 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 7: I mean I think about it. To me, what I 45 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 7: hear when I hear that quote. 46 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,919 Speaker 4: I hear individuality. 47 00:02:58,760 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 8: M hmm. 48 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:06,680 Speaker 2: I here, your path, your pace, your race, and I've 49 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 2: got that a little mixed up. But this is your path, 50 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 2: right that this that your life means, that this is 51 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:20,080 Speaker 2: what's happening is for you. 52 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 4: You get to dictate how things go. 53 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 2: You get to exercise within your control what is happening 54 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 2: at every. 55 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 4: Moment in your life. I love that, Don I would 56 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 4: agree with that, And I think that we often because 57 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 4: of social media and the world that we live in today, 58 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 4: where we're super super connected to everything and everybody, and 59 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 4: we sort of it's like information overloaded times and a 60 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 4: lot of oversharing because we have access to so much 61 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 4: that sometimes we can get caught up in this not 62 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 4: only the comparison game, but also this game of thinking 63 00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 4: that we need to be doing what everyone else is doing. 64 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 4: So I love this quote because I think it speaks 65 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 4: to the tagline of the episode. It's a personalized approach 66 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 4: to the Fourth Wars. So everyone talks about, oh, it's 67 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 4: you know Q four all Man, the New Year's coming. 68 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 4: But we have a little twist to this, right, And 69 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 4: so as we approach this final stretch of the year, 70 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:24,359 Speaker 4: it's a great time to reflect, to reevaluate, and to recalibrate. 71 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 4: And I think this is a very crucial topic that 72 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 4: we're diving into, don because we want to talk about 73 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,920 Speaker 4: ending on a strong note. But the twist is it's 74 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:38,159 Speaker 4: not a generic blanket sort of you know, episode or 75 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:42,279 Speaker 4: strategies or tips. It's really about personalizing it, lady, based 76 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 4: on where you are in your life. So whether you're 77 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:49,839 Speaker 4: optimizing for a career milestone, personal growth, or health and wellness, 78 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 4: this episode is something special just for you. So let's 79 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,840 Speaker 4: step the stage for a successful new year and one 80 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 4: that is uniquely yours. So it may look different from 81 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,279 Speaker 4: what your homegirl who you text in the group chat like, 82 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 4: go you gotta che out Quoti, any Heartspeeds podcast, you 83 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 4: gotta check out this episode. Your end of year review 84 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,480 Speaker 4: is gonna look different, right because it's a personalized approach. 85 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 4: So now I think we should just die right into 86 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 4: number one like our first sort of I don't love 87 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 4: it's a tip or step, but this is assessing your 88 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,159 Speaker 4: current position. When you hear that down, what does that like? 89 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 4: What comes up for you when you think about assessing 90 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 4: your current position? Immediately? 91 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 2: I think about, if we're looking at this like we're 92 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:36,600 Speaker 2: going into quarter four, what to me? I think about, Okay, well, 93 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:43,040 Speaker 2: let's step back and let's look at where you are 94 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:50,360 Speaker 2: in this moment and also reflecting on what you might 95 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,960 Speaker 2: have set up, any goals you may have set for 96 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:57,359 Speaker 2: the year, and looking at Okay, so if I set 97 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 2: five goals, where am I right now in accomplishing those goals? 98 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:07,360 Speaker 2: Does it mean that, like, have I actually checked off 99 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:12,040 Speaker 2: some of them or outlook or none of them? 100 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:12,479 Speaker 4: Right? 101 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:18,560 Speaker 2: For me, it's a moment of reflection and really looking 102 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:23,000 Speaker 2: at what did I say I wanted to do? Where 103 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 2: did I say I wanted to be at this point 104 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 2: in the year, and what work is any do I 105 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 2: have for the rest of the year. 106 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 4: I love that. I think that makes perfect sense too. 107 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 4: I think that when it comes to trying to figure 108 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 4: out where you want to go, we have to know 109 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,479 Speaker 4: where we are. It's like literally like yep, You're getting 110 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 4: into your car and you're like, Okay, cool, I want 111 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 4: to go to I want to go to Disney Disney World. Okay, bet, 112 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 4: where are you at right now? Because it order for 113 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:58,600 Speaker 4: us to get this GPS situated and in order for 114 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 4: us to get to the destination, we have to figure 115 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 4: out where are we traveling from. So I think that 116 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 4: it's really important as we goal set. As we plan 117 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 4: for the end of the year, as we plan for 118 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 4: next year, we need to take a step back, assess 119 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 4: and understand where are we currently standing. I think self 120 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 4: assessment and self awareness and personal reflection is also important 121 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 4: because it allows us to gain clarity on our strengths, weaknesses, 122 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 4: areas that need improvement. And there's nothing better than being 123 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,080 Speaker 4: in relationship with yourself and knowing yourself so well so 124 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 4: that you are able to sort of coach yourself through 125 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 4: some of these decisions and just make informed decisions about 126 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 4: what direction you want to move into in your life. 127 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 4: And I think also don this time of year can 128 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 4: sometimes be a little bit intimidating or daunting because this 129 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,840 Speaker 4: is the time of year where people are showing I 130 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 4: think they should do this thing on Instagram where you'd 131 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 4: have like your year in review, where it shows you 132 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 4: like your photos of the year, And it makes me 133 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 4: think about how people are at this time of year. 134 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 4: They're posting like, oh, I've done all this stuff this year, 135 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:03,880 Speaker 4: but we're all in different so I for sure haven't accomplished. 136 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 4: Like when I look back at the different goals I 137 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 4: set over the course of the past few years, I've 138 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 4: been in transition, in various transitions for a while. So 139 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 4: I haven't really accomplished a lot of goals like I 140 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:19,200 Speaker 4: did before because I've been very focused on some very 141 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 4: important things in my life. Felt like this the priority 142 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 4: which we're going to dive into it just a bit. 143 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 4: But that's how I feel when I think about assessing 144 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 4: our current position. I think about also just recognizing that 145 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 4: our approach is going to vary based on our life 146 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:36,320 Speaker 4: circumstances as well. You know, hey, lady, it's Terry here, 147 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,439 Speaker 4: Dom and I want to take a moment to thank 148 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 4: you for choosing to listen to our podcast. We love 149 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 4: you for real, and we want to give you a 150 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:45,920 Speaker 4: chance to learn more about what's important to us. So 151 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 4: tell us what you think about this. 152 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 9: Imagine a world where you have a chance to get 153 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 9: featured on the Cultivating her Space podcast and share your 154 00:08:54,440 --> 00:09:00,079 Speaker 9: business brand or perspective with millions around the globe, d 155 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 9: and joining our monthly virtual video check ins where you 156 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 9: can connect with like minded black women like you and 157 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:11,800 Speaker 9: share your ideas and episode suggestions with Terry and I. Now, 158 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,320 Speaker 9: I want you to imagine a world where you're in 159 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 9: the exclusive Cultivating her Space sanctuary Slack channel, and throughout 160 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 9: your day and week, you are conversing with us about 161 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 9: what's happening in your life and sharing funny gifts and 162 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 9: or personal wins. 163 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:31,240 Speaker 5: How does that sound? Hopefully this is of your alley Lady, 164 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 5: because we are taking things to the next level this year, 165 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,599 Speaker 5: and we're doubling down on investing in our community. 166 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 4: That means you. 167 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 5: We want to meet you, connect with you, and create 168 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 5: communities of genuine women who love on black women and 169 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,960 Speaker 5: push our culture and movement forward. We launched this podcast 170 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,800 Speaker 5: in twenty nineteen and to date we have not missed 171 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 5: a week. We've been great stewards of our platform, all 172 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 5: while working full time and navigating our own ups and downs. 173 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 5: These fresh new content every single Friday like clockwork, and 174 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,719 Speaker 5: we have hundreds of valuable episodes and workshops that can 175 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 5: really help you up level your life. So, if you 176 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 5: love our mission or you've gotten value from us, we 177 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,560 Speaker 5: invite you to give back and help us push this 178 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 5: community effort forward. 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All right, lady, 186 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,520 Speaker 5: we'll hop right back into the conversation. 187 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 2: Right because I think about it, so I think about 188 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:58,320 Speaker 2: the person who maybe at the beginning of the year said, okay, 189 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 2: buy the end of twenty three, I will. 190 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 4: Have, hypothetically, let me just tall something out of here. 191 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:16,120 Speaker 2: I will have saved ten thousand dollars. Right, that was 192 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,079 Speaker 2: your goal at the beginning of the year. 193 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 10: But maybe in April you got laid off, right, or 194 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:36,000 Speaker 10: maybe in June you were presented with an investment opportunity 195 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 10: that you couldn't pass up, or. 196 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 4: Or or or right. 197 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 2: There are so many things that could have possibly come 198 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:55,320 Speaker 2: up between January and now that now you have to say, 199 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:59,839 Speaker 2: all right, here we are at the end of the year, 200 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:07,559 Speaker 2: and I'm not even close to saving that amount of money. However, 201 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 2: I'm not close because I had X, Y, and Z 202 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 2: life circumstances come up unexpectedly that prevented me from reaching 203 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:25,200 Speaker 2: this particular goal. Yes, and I think that's where we 204 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 2: have to stop. That's part of that assessment is giving 205 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:36,800 Speaker 2: ourselves space to really realistically look at what was the 206 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 2: goal and what may have been a barrier and why, 207 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 2: and giving ourselves grace and compassion when need. 208 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,559 Speaker 4: Yes, and a lot of times, lady, the grace and 209 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 4: compassion is needed, like yeah, ye nine percent of the time. 210 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 4: I feel like many of us are. If you're anything 211 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 4: like us, lady, and don let me not speak for you, 212 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:04,080 Speaker 4: if anything like me, I could be hard on myself. Okay, okay, 213 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 4: we can be hard on ourselves. So you already know 214 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 4: we're reminding you. Girl, Give y'as alllf some grace, right, 215 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,600 Speaker 4: Like I just life. I feel like life has been 216 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 4: so challenging. It depends on what phasier, right. Life can 217 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,319 Speaker 4: be challenging through various seasons. But after the pandemic, I 218 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,400 Speaker 4: feel like pandemic post pandemic, it's just been and we're 219 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 4: still got I guess in the midst of it, because 220 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:31,200 Speaker 4: COVID there's like another VERG variant, girl, And I feel 221 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 4: like you made a really good point. Do I think 222 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,839 Speaker 4: there are some questions that we can ask ourselves when 223 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 4: we are in reflection and you kind of touched on 224 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 4: to you. But one could be, you know, one of 225 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 4: my current responsibilities, because that is also important because you know, 226 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:48,160 Speaker 4: you may be in a situation where you unexpectedly became 227 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:53,560 Speaker 4: a caretaker. Right, So now you don't have this bandwidth, 228 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 4: You don't have the time, you don't have the energy 229 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,839 Speaker 4: to accomplish all the goals you set out because you're 230 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,679 Speaker 4: now prioritizing something else in your life. So what are 231 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:03,800 Speaker 4: my current responsibilities? Asking that question can give you a 232 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 4: better picture. I love to draw this out too, because 233 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,720 Speaker 4: sometimes we're in our head you can't really like, you 234 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 4: can't really see things the same way as when you 235 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,400 Speaker 4: write it down. You're like, could I wrote some stuff 236 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 4: down before? And I was like, damn, I head a 237 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 4: lot on my play. How did I do all that? 238 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 4: I think about, you know, about some of the personal 239 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 4: stuff I was navigating where we were planning the live event, 240 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 4: and I really be looking back. I was looking at 241 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 4: this the other day and I was like, this you 242 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 4: a superwoman, because how did you do all of that 243 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,840 Speaker 4: in the midst of planning this big event? So what 244 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 4: are my current responsibilities? Am I satisfied with my progress? 245 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 2: Right? 246 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 4: Sometimes the answers know and that's okay, and then what 247 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 4: are my challenges and victories? Sometimes the victory as I 248 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,520 Speaker 4: woke up today, I didn't go postal, I didn't punsh 249 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:45,160 Speaker 4: the body, the face, and I was like, I did 250 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 4: I did my best Okay. Like sometimes it'd be like 251 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:48,560 Speaker 4: okay that. 252 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 2: Part, and sometimes sometimes it's I got out of bed 253 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 2: and I showed up. 254 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:06,440 Speaker 11: Okay, talk that decided my neck to somebody. Okay, but 255 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:13,120 Speaker 11: I showed up right because right now that's the most 256 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 11: I could do. Yes, and giving yourself that grace and 257 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 11: compassion to understand that and know that that's not going 258 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 11: to be your every day, that this is not going 259 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 11: to share happen all the time. 260 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 2: Yes, this is not your forever. You're in a season 261 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 2: and what does that see them look like? 262 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 4: What does that season look like? And lady, as you're 263 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,440 Speaker 4: setting your goals right for next year, I personally love 264 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 4: to use the month of October. I kind of start 265 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 4: my year and review a little bit early, reflect on 266 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 4: the year, kind of start to downshift as far as 267 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,520 Speaker 4: the gears in life and like slow things down a 268 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,880 Speaker 4: little bit, get reflective, start planning as you plan your 269 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 4: self assessment and reflec is going to directly influence the 270 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 4: goals you set for the fourth quarter or the next year. Right, 271 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,280 Speaker 4: So when you're aware of your strengths and areas for growth, 272 00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,120 Speaker 4: you can then set more realistic and achievable goals. 273 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:11,400 Speaker 5: Right. 274 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,480 Speaker 4: So that's really important, And again remembering that we're tailoring 275 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:17,800 Speaker 4: this approach to your current life circumstances. Was sure that 276 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 4: your goals align with your unique needs and aspirations because, 277 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 4: like Don was saying, like it all depends on the 278 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,640 Speaker 4: season that we're in, Like, I have not been as 279 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,200 Speaker 4: ambitious as I've been previously, and I was It's funny. 280 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 4: I was talking to my husband about this the other 281 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 4: day and I was like, you know what, I'm in 282 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:34,320 Speaker 4: a space in life right now where I'm not really 283 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 4: I don't really have a lot of career ambitions because 284 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 4: I've achieved a great deal with you know, I achieved 285 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 4: what's important to me in my career, and I've climbed 286 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,720 Speaker 4: the corporate ladder and did various things, and I'm like, 287 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 4: I'm just trying to live my life right now, Like 288 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 4: for me, an achievement will be going on. I have 289 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 4: a couple, one going on a bomb ass, so little vacation, 290 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,600 Speaker 4: doing a girls trip and then have like an amazing 291 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,480 Speaker 4: family vacation where we just have a luxurious vacation. Those 292 00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 4: are my goals these days, and that may change. I'm 293 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 4: in a different season, but that's what I'm at right now. 294 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:04,680 Speaker 4: I feel you. I feel you on. 295 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 2: That, and so I think that speaks to like our 296 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 2: nets like major category right is identifying your priorities. 297 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:19,400 Speaker 3: And so. 298 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:27,880 Speaker 2: Priorities really are about what are the things that are 299 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 2: most important and or urgent for you. 300 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 4: At a given moment. 301 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,200 Speaker 2: So I'm gonna say that again so that we can 302 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:42,119 Speaker 2: really hear it and take it in, because sometimes our 303 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 2: priorities be not priorities. So your priority or priorities are 304 00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 2: the things that are most important and or urgent in 305 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,280 Speaker 2: your life at a given moment. 306 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 4: Girl, Hey, we hope you're enjoying this conversation as much 307 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 4: as we are. 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Try it out, see 361 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,720 Speaker 4: if it's a good fit for you. Dipsystories dot com 362 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 4: slash her Space. Let's get back into it. 363 00:21:55,359 --> 00:22:00,439 Speaker 2: So right now, Erry, what you're saying is that a 364 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:08,320 Speaker 2: priority for you is having time away to enjoy lights, right, 365 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:15,399 Speaker 2: and that's something that's important for you. Might not necessarily 366 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:19,800 Speaker 2: be urgent, but it's important, and so then that makes 367 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:20,720 Speaker 2: it a priority. 368 00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 4: I guess aim into that, dim I will say, when 369 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,399 Speaker 4: it comes to priorities, something that I've been working with 370 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,560 Speaker 4: my coach, because you know how we know something, like 371 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,080 Speaker 4: you know how you know something, But when you hear 372 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 4: someone else say it and you're maybe you're in a 373 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 4: different season of your life, you're like it hit a 374 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 4: little different when you know, when my coach told me this, 375 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,080 Speaker 4: even though I know it, I've done I prioritize over 376 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,320 Speaker 4: the years, I'm in a different phases, so I had 377 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 4: to rehear something to reorient myself to that message. And 378 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,119 Speaker 4: so what I realized I was doing when it came 379 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,920 Speaker 4: to prioritizing is I'd have this long ass task list 380 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,320 Speaker 4: and I'm working on it, but every day it's like 381 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,239 Speaker 4: this long ass list. Never have I ever completed all 382 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,080 Speaker 4: the things, Like it's just not going to happen. And 383 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,480 Speaker 4: then what I'll do is I'll pick out the easy 384 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,879 Speaker 4: things and I'll go get them done, knowing that my 385 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:09,760 Speaker 4: energy levels tend to the window around two pm daily, 386 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:11,960 Speaker 4: So I've done the easy stuff and then two pm 387 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,439 Speaker 4: comes and I don't have the energy for the meteor 388 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,440 Speaker 4: harder task. So now what I've been doing is thinking about, Okay, 389 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,439 Speaker 4: how can I and of course we all know this, 390 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:23,200 Speaker 4: but how can I prioritize the harder task first when 391 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,200 Speaker 4: I have the most energy and I can tackle those 392 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,919 Speaker 4: little wins later. Right, So for me, that's just like 393 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:29,679 Speaker 4: my task list, But I think we can also use 394 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:33,520 Speaker 4: that for our daily life, and it involves making choices 395 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 4: and allocating our time and energy and resources according to 396 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,160 Speaker 4: the goals that we want to achieve. And so when 397 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:43,199 Speaker 4: you think about the dynamic nature of prioritization, it's not 398 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 4: a one size fits all concept, right. It evolves as 399 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:49,919 Speaker 4: we progress through different stages of our life. So in 400 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:54,399 Speaker 4: our adulthood, your priorities might be around education, career, and 401 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,440 Speaker 4: personal growth. Right. And it kind of speaks to what 402 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,359 Speaker 4: we were just talking about dom when I shared about 403 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,400 Speaker 4: what my priorities are now and then later it might 404 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:06,320 Speaker 4: be family, health, financial stability, and living life like, yeah, 405 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 4: many of us have worked hard. I worked hard my 406 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 4: whole life. I might have fun fun fun, yes, yes, but. 407 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:16,679 Speaker 2: And you know, and really what that means is also 408 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:23,080 Speaker 2: recognizing that what's a priority for you might not be 409 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:30,240 Speaker 2: a priority for someone else. Right. So, right now, maybe 410 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 2: career is your thing, lady, as you're listening, you're like, nah, 411 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 2: I got to give this career thing second, right, Yes, 412 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:44,439 Speaker 2: for your homegirl, maybe she's at a stage where she 413 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 2: wants to start a family and so that's her number 414 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:54,680 Speaker 2: one priority, right, And so as you're listening, lady, really 415 00:24:54,800 --> 00:25:00,320 Speaker 2: think about for you in this moment in life, what 416 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,160 Speaker 2: is the priority. 417 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:04,720 Speaker 4: For me right now. 418 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,760 Speaker 2: Yes, my career is in a great space. I am 419 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,280 Speaker 2: super grateful and thankful of where my career is in 420 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 2: this moment. And so for me, my priority is my 421 00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:20,720 Speaker 2: old world well being and what does that look like? Right, 422 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 2: So taking care of the things that keep me healthy 423 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:31,680 Speaker 2: and saying and ground it so that I can show 424 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,880 Speaker 2: up in my career, so that I can show up 425 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 2: for my friends and family, and so I can do 426 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 2: all the other things that I want to do. 427 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,240 Speaker 4: Right now, my priority is my o world well being. 428 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,480 Speaker 4: That sounds like a beautiful place in life to be 429 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 4: where that is the priority. And now it makes me 430 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:53,560 Speaker 4: think about how we balance multiple priorities, because rarely in 431 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 4: life are we juggling or are we prioritizing just one aspect? 432 00:25:58,680 --> 00:25:58,840 Speaker 2: Right? 433 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 4: It usually right? It often demands juggling multiple priorities simultaneously. 434 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,040 Speaker 4: And so when I think about that, I would love 435 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 4: to talk about just some strategies for achieving balance or 436 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:13,159 Speaker 4: harmony time management and then setting boundaries and seeking support 437 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,800 Speaker 4: and so lady, when it comes to multiple or balancing 438 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,080 Speaker 4: multiple priorities, which I feel like I've done pretty much 439 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,840 Speaker 4: many of us have, right like their whole life I 440 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:23,120 Speaker 4: feel like I've always had so many big meatia priorities 441 00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:24,439 Speaker 4: where I'm like, okay, how I'm not going to do this. 442 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,919 Speaker 4: I think time blocking has served me really well, so 443 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:32,640 Speaker 4: on the calendar, but a block of time, and obviously, 444 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,639 Speaker 4: like I'm thinking about this from a hierarchy or a 445 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,920 Speaker 4: hierarchical standpoint where it's like, Okay, I have all my priorities. 446 00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:40,880 Speaker 4: Now I'm going to go to my calendar and put 447 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:44,240 Speaker 4: down okay, bold and vacation is a priority. Every week 448 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,439 Speaker 4: I'm looking at planning for the next vacation, so I'm 449 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,240 Speaker 4: spending an hour on Wednesdays, right, So time blocking the 450 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 4: calendar to focus on a specific area aspect that can 451 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,720 Speaker 4: be helpful. Having a task list. My life is run 452 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:02,439 Speaker 4: on task lists and reminders, so that's really important. And 453 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,680 Speaker 4: then self care is really important as well, because you 454 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,399 Speaker 4: got to be healthy and feel good in order for 455 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,560 Speaker 4: you to achieve those goals. And then I would say coaching. 456 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:14,280 Speaker 4: I think coaching and accountability has been really important. And 457 00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:16,240 Speaker 4: I think I talked about this on the podcast before, 458 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,240 Speaker 4: but after I had my daughter and I was really 459 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:22,520 Speaker 4: struggling to lose some of that baby. Wait, I was 460 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,480 Speaker 4: struggling hard, I ended up getting a trainer, and so 461 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 4: I've been working with my trainer for over a year now. 462 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:30,720 Speaker 4: And although I'm not, you know, perfect, when it comes 463 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:34,159 Speaker 4: to how I show up, I show up consistently. Like 464 00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 4: even when I have those times where I'm off, like, 465 00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:38,960 Speaker 4: I get back on and I have someone to hold 466 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,160 Speaker 4: me accountable. And so though that's one thing that helps 467 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,640 Speaker 4: me balance multiple priorities as well. 468 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,480 Speaker 2: What about you, don I would say that I like 469 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:52,960 Speaker 2: what you're pointed out about the consistency, right that even 470 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:58,000 Speaker 2: if you don't feel like showing up in that moment, 471 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,360 Speaker 2: you still show Because I feel like there's a lot 472 00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:08,159 Speaker 2: of times where people will say, well, don't have asset. 473 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,040 Speaker 2: If you're going to show up, you need to be 474 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:11,880 Speaker 2: at one hundred percent or don't do it at all. 475 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,440 Speaker 2: And I think that there are some areas in life 476 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:20,159 Speaker 2: where yes, that makes sense, But when it comes to 477 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:28,520 Speaker 2: achieving your goals, being consistent is important. Like I think 478 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:32,440 Speaker 2: back to working on my dissertation, and I think that's 479 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,480 Speaker 2: coming up for me right now because I have a 480 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:39,120 Speaker 2: few students who I'm on their dissertation committee, right and 481 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,440 Speaker 2: so one of the things that I think about in 482 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 2: completing your dissertation is when that was my priority. I 483 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,640 Speaker 2: had to show up every day and do something right 484 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,880 Speaker 2: life be licensed. And so there were some days where 485 00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,920 Speaker 2: like I utilize all the skill the things that you 486 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,160 Speaker 2: list it right. So it was time blocking. So I 487 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 2: was working a full time job and you know, I 488 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,760 Speaker 2: was on internship. It's a full time job, and I 489 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:10,880 Speaker 2: would come home in the evening. Then I had a 490 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:14,959 Speaker 2: set time that I would work on my dissertation, and 491 00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,080 Speaker 2: I had certain deadlines that I needed to meet. 492 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:21,280 Speaker 4: But there would. 493 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,920 Speaker 2: Also be like each day I would say, Okay, at 494 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 2: seven o'clock, we're starting. We're starting the writing. Some days 495 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,880 Speaker 2: I was able to get a lot done. Other days 496 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:40,800 Speaker 2: I was just staring at the computer like in the days. 497 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:48,080 Speaker 2: But I was showing up consistently in that space and 498 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:52,560 Speaker 2: that helped me to get the goal accomplished. 499 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:59,080 Speaker 4: Oh okay, don you just unlicked the whole nother path, 500 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:02,480 Speaker 4: because what you have thinking about is what does consistency 501 00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,600 Speaker 4: look like? And I'm glad you made that distinction because 502 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,479 Speaker 4: I think there's a misconception. And Lady let us know 503 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,440 Speaker 4: on Instagram at her space podcasts if you agree with this, right, 504 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,800 Speaker 4: there's a misconception that you have to wake up at 505 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:18,000 Speaker 4: five o'clock every day, you got to read three books, 506 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,400 Speaker 4: you got to meditate for an hour, you got to 507 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 4: work out, scratch a butt, take a shower, and that's 508 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,000 Speaker 4: what you do. That's and I feel it. For the 509 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,440 Speaker 4: longest time time, I've tried to do that every day 510 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:31,480 Speaker 4: and I kept failing, and I was like, what the help. 511 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:33,880 Speaker 4: And now I think about my gym journey. I'm using 512 00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:35,720 Speaker 4: that as an example, lady, because I want to use 513 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:39,720 Speaker 4: the gym in the podcast when it comes to consistency. Right. Yes, 514 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,280 Speaker 4: we put out episodes every single week for the past 515 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 4: five years, but the way in which we've done it 516 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,800 Speaker 4: has been different. There are times where we're scrambling around 517 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,720 Speaker 4: because life is busy and it's chaotic, and we show 518 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 4: up and it may not be it may not be perfect, 519 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,520 Speaker 4: it may not be our ideal, but we show up 520 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,000 Speaker 4: and we produce something. Right. I think about, like you said, 521 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,200 Speaker 4: sitting at the computers. Sometimes I'll go to the gym. 522 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,840 Speaker 4: It's not my best day, it's not my strongest day. 523 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:05,880 Speaker 4: I may be on my cycuer, I may not be 524 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:07,840 Speaker 4: feeling well, but I show up, and I think sometimes 525 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 4: showing up is half the battle show up, yeah, and 526 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,000 Speaker 4: usually the rest will fall into place. I think it's 527 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,160 Speaker 4: about making it a lifestyle as well, depending on what 528 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 4: the goal is. So for me, the gym, I want 529 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 4: that to be part of my lifestyle long term. So 530 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,400 Speaker 4: I'm going to fluctuate. I'm going to have seasons where 531 00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,840 Speaker 4: I'm like, I didn't do as well as I wanted to, 532 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,520 Speaker 4: I didn't work out as hard, but I showed up. 533 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:31,560 Speaker 4: I was consistent with my mindset, with my approach with 534 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 4: you know, being accountable to my trainers with the podcast 535 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,160 Speaker 4: same thing. Does that make sense? 536 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 2: Okay, it does because I think about also, as you 537 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,080 Speaker 2: were saying that, what I think about if we're using 538 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:50,360 Speaker 2: the gym example, is there may be seasons. So and 539 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:54,760 Speaker 2: we'll talk about this in a future episode. I'm recovering 540 00:31:54,800 --> 00:32:01,600 Speaker 2: from surgery, right, and one of the hardest things outside 541 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:03,800 Speaker 2: of men told to sit my ass down. 542 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 12: Is recognizing that even if I want to work out, 543 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:16,000 Speaker 12: I can't because my body needs to physically heal, right, 544 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 12: And so recognizing that. 545 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:26,600 Speaker 13: There even when you have a goal, there are points 546 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:33,400 Speaker 13: where life is gonna life and you aren't able to 547 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,440 Speaker 13: meet the goal in the way that you are accustomed 548 00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:40,080 Speaker 13: to and so then how do you shift right, So 549 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,000 Speaker 13: going back to like looking at this fourth quarter, right, 550 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 13: So for me, what that has looked like. 551 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:54,280 Speaker 2: In this recovery journey is going on walks now, my 552 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,880 Speaker 2: doctor's and a nurse, you know, and anybody else you're 553 00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,240 Speaker 2: any other personal fitness person will say you that walking 554 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,160 Speaker 2: can still be exercise, you do it a certain way. 555 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:09,080 Speaker 2: But in my shit, I had to release the notion 556 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:15,080 Speaker 2: of what I considered working out and what my body 557 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:23,400 Speaker 2: was currently capable of doing and adapting to the new situation. 558 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:30,720 Speaker 4: That's good, That's really good. I'm glad you made that 559 00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:32,160 Speaker 4: point too, down because it goes back to what we 560 00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,320 Speaker 4: were saying earlier about the season, like what season of 561 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,480 Speaker 4: life are you in? So, lady, what we're going to 562 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,080 Speaker 4: do now is we're going to talk a bit about 563 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,160 Speaker 4: the role of self reflection and then some things to 564 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,200 Speaker 4: keep in mind on your journey as you are progressing 565 00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:45,680 Speaker 4: Georgia goals. And then we're going to jump into the 566 00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:48,040 Speaker 4: after show because we want to share some reflection questions 567 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:50,120 Speaker 4: and dive in a bit deeper to this conversation. So 568 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:52,560 Speaker 4: when it comes to self reflection, right, I think it's 569 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,840 Speaker 4: really important to reflect on your priorities and ensure alignment 570 00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:58,600 Speaker 4: with your current life stage right, which we've been talking about. 571 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:01,240 Speaker 4: I think checking in with yourself periodically. When I was 572 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,560 Speaker 4: really in my ambitious season where I was like hustling 573 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:07,080 Speaker 4: hard and driving my career goals, I would check with 574 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:09,840 Speaker 4: myself weekly and then monthly, like I was so serious 575 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,680 Speaker 4: about my goal setting and my goal mapping and this 576 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,360 Speaker 4: these days it's not that serious, Like I don't do 577 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,560 Speaker 4: all that because my goals have changed, right. I think 578 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:21,440 Speaker 4: the personal growth and self awareness also come with self reflection. 579 00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,959 Speaker 4: So we'll share a couple of questions that you can 580 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,720 Speaker 4: use in your own journey. Hopefully you have your journal 581 00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:29,480 Speaker 4: as your tuning into the podcast episode, and so a 582 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,680 Speaker 4: couple of questions you could ask yourself, are you know, 583 00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,719 Speaker 4: what are my primary life goals at this moment? What 584 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:35,920 Speaker 4: are my primary life goals? 585 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:36,080 Speaker 2: Right? 586 00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,040 Speaker 4: You don't have to think about the five year plan 587 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,239 Speaker 4: or the ten year plant right now, like in this 588 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,200 Speaker 4: year or even this month. Sometimes we just got to 589 00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:44,320 Speaker 4: look at it month by month. What am I focusing 590 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,920 Speaker 4: on this month right now? The next question, my past 591 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,240 Speaker 4: used to say, if you can't say amen, say out, okay, 592 00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:54,200 Speaker 4: So get ready for The next question are my actions 593 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,120 Speaker 4: in alignment with my goals? Because sometimes, like I've been 594 00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,120 Speaker 4: trying to snatch my waist a little bit more because 595 00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,440 Speaker 4: I've eaten a lot of brea and cookies and so 596 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,319 Speaker 4: I want to I'm working out, but I'm also not 597 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:05,960 Speaker 4: eating well right now. So I know that I'm in 598 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:08,120 Speaker 4: a season where I'm like, I'm just I'm eating late 599 00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:09,640 Speaker 4: at night, like I'm just doing all the things that 600 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:11,400 Speaker 4: I know are not in alignment with my goals. I'm 601 00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,520 Speaker 4: gonna giving myself some grace. I'm going to set a 602 00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:15,239 Speaker 4: deadline when i feel like I'm in a season where 603 00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:18,719 Speaker 4: I can prioritize that more. But I'm being real with myself, Like, girl, 604 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,319 Speaker 4: your actions are not aligning with that goal, right, And 605 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,799 Speaker 4: so another question you could ask yourself is are there 606 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:29,680 Speaker 4: any priorities I should adjust based on my current circumstances? Right? 607 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:34,040 Speaker 2: I think these questions are great, So let's run them. 608 00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:36,160 Speaker 2: Go on ahead and run them back for see, so 609 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:40,200 Speaker 2: folks can running back, running back. Okay, let's get it. 610 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:40,680 Speaker 2: Let's get it. 611 00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:43,800 Speaker 4: So the first question is what are my primary life 612 00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:48,680 Speaker 4: goals at this moment? The second question is are my 613 00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:53,640 Speaker 4: actions in alignment with these goals. And the third question 614 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:57,279 Speaker 4: is are there any priorities I should adjust based on 615 00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:03,640 Speaker 4: my current circumstances? Right, Yes, we'll kint our self reflection 616 00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:05,520 Speaker 4: on And then a couple of things to keep in 617 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:09,000 Speaker 4: mind with you're on your journey. Try to avoid external influences, 618 00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,399 Speaker 4: or if you are going to have external influences, vet 619 00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,560 Speaker 4: them and make sure they're aligned with who you are 620 00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:17,520 Speaker 4: or who you want to become. I think about being 621 00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:20,839 Speaker 4: swayed by societal or peer pressure when setting priorities, right, 622 00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:24,040 Speaker 4: because somebody else got married and they were twenty five, 623 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,120 Speaker 4: Now you think, oh I got to get married. Not necessarily, 624 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:30,440 Speaker 4: everyone has their own journey. Also the importance of staying 625 00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:33,720 Speaker 4: true to your values and your long term objectives because 626 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:37,239 Speaker 4: that may not align with everyone else. Right, And we 627 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,640 Speaker 4: already know what works for one person may not work 628 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,000 Speaker 4: for the other, and that's perfectly okay. So be mindful 629 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:46,080 Speaker 4: of those outside sources, especially social media, child, because social 630 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,520 Speaker 4: media will have you ohlold. 631 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, there are good resources that you can find on 632 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:53,399 Speaker 2: social media to help you. 633 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:54,080 Speaker 4: With your goal. 634 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:58,439 Speaker 2: But also but yeah, recognizing that you know I love 635 00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:02,360 Speaker 2: this frames what it's meant, you will not miss you? 636 00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:04,759 Speaker 4: Right, And I. 637 00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,560 Speaker 2: Believe we've had something similar along that, like as the 638 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:14,480 Speaker 2: one of our mantras, and I think how that applies 639 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:18,600 Speaker 2: to this moment this conversation is that as you were 640 00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:23,319 Speaker 2: working towards certain life goals, if it's meant for you 641 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,400 Speaker 2: to have that thing, if it's meant for you to 642 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:31,640 Speaker 2: accomplish that thing, you will. It may not occur in 643 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:36,400 Speaker 2: the time that you wanted to, but it will occur, yes, 644 00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:42,279 Speaker 2: And it may not look exactly how you envisioned it. 645 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:53,440 Speaker 2: So you wanted that shiny new rant sports car. Okay, 646 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:58,640 Speaker 2: so you got a new car. That new car isn't red, 647 00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:05,440 Speaker 2: but it's actually better than and safer and will hold 648 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:11,400 Speaker 2: better value than that shiny rear sports car you originally wanted. 649 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:19,720 Speaker 2: And so be open, yeah, be open. 650 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:23,440 Speaker 4: Yeah. I was just gonna say, just believe that everything 651 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:26,840 Speaker 4: is conspiring to support you and your highest good and 652 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:28,560 Speaker 4: what's meant for you. It's so true. I mean, we 653 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,680 Speaker 4: talked about this on plenty of other episodes as well, 654 00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:33,520 Speaker 4: like there were certain things that I wanted to be 655 00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:35,640 Speaker 4: a certain way. I'm so glad it didn't happen the 656 00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:39,239 Speaker 4: way that my limited view wanted. You know what I mean, Yeah, 657 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:40,279 Speaker 4: you're a spot on dive. 658 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:48,920 Speaker 2: So, lady, I hope that you have gotten some gems 659 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:55,040 Speaker 2: from this episode, and we're gonna hop on one into 660 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:59,880 Speaker 2: the after show. And in the after show we're gonna 661 00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:02,439 Speaker 2: get we give you some reflection questions to write down, 662 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:07,200 Speaker 2: and we are going to talk more about We're going 663 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:13,520 Speaker 2: to talk about how to set toward goals that are 664 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:20,279 Speaker 2: reasonable for you and your situation and that can realistically 665 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:21,840 Speaker 2: be accomplished. 666 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:26,839 Speaker 4: So to describe to Patreon. Okay hearspacepodcast dot com, click 667 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:29,880 Speaker 4: on Patreon and come join us. Lady shout out to 668 00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:32,600 Speaker 4: our new patrons. We appreciate you all rightly. We'll cut 669 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,080 Speaker 4: you on the other side. 670 00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us today. Please note that our show 671 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:45,520 Speaker 3: may contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment, and 672 00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:48,640 Speaker 3: mental health, but it is by no means meant to 673 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:52,640 Speaker 3: be a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with a 674 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:56,480 Speaker 3: trained mental health provider. If you are someone you know 675 00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:00,120 Speaker 3: is in need of mental health care, please visit the 676 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:05,520 Speaker 3: Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact your 677 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:06,480 Speaker 3: insurance provider. 678 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,600 Speaker 5: If you liked what you heard and want to keep 679 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:13,440 Speaker 5: the conversation going, visit our website at herspace podcast dot com, 680 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:15,879 Speaker 5: and be sure to click the Patreon tab to get 681 00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:20,040 Speaker 5: access to video content bonuses in our weekly After show 682 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:24,520 Speaker 5: and Before We Meet again, repeat after Me. Every dream 683 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,680 Speaker 5: within me exists because it's possible.