Speaker 1: Hello everyone, and welcome to the Therapy Gecko Podcast. Thank
Speaker 1: you folks for tuning in with me today being here
Speaker 1: with me as we continue in the year twenty twenty six.
Speaker 1: God damn it to do this Gecko show. My name
Speaker 1: is Lyle and I'm going to be hanging out with
Speaker 1: you guys for the next hour reading some emails that
Speaker 1: people have sent me to the email address therapy Gecko
Speaker 1: mail at gmail dot com. We have a lot of
Speaker 1: good ones today. I say that every time, but I
Speaker 1: actually don't know this time. I just said that because
Speaker 1: I haven't read any of the headlines yet. But let's
Speaker 1: get into them. Oh wait, I'll go away actually before
Speaker 1: we do that. Before we do that, folks, I declare
Speaker 1: to you all formal that tickets for my twenty twenty
Speaker 1: six tour are on sale right now at therapy Gecko
Speaker 1: tour dot com, which I will link in the episode description.
Speaker 1: I'm going to thirty cities. I'm gonna list as many
Speaker 1: of them really fast as I possibly can. San Diego,
Speaker 1: La As, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Minneapolis, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Charlotte, Madison, Detroit, Bloomington, Chicago, Atlanta, Nashville,
Speaker 1: d C, Philly, New York, Boston, Toronto, Lansing, Michigan, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Montreal, Vegas,
Speaker 1: Salt Lake City, Denver, Phoenix, Austin, New Orleans, and motherfucking Anchorage, Alaska.
Speaker 1: I will be going to all of those cities this
Speaker 1: year to do a combination of storytelling, comedy, and of
Speaker 1: course Gecko therapy where we bring folks up from the audience.
Speaker 1: I've lived a lot of life in the past, however
Speaker 1: many years, I've got some stories to tell about it.
Speaker 1: And you've all lived a lot of life in the past.
Speaker 1: However many years you've all got stories to tell about it.
Speaker 1: So let's all get together and tell our stories. Therapy
Speaker 1: Gecko Tour dot Com. Tickets to all of those dates
Speaker 1: are available right now, except Alaska, but you can still
Speaker 1: go an RSVP if you want to go to the
Speaker 1: Alaska show. So yeah, please, I'm very excited to go
Speaker 1: on my fourth tour. I hope to see you all there,
Speaker 1: and you can go buy tickets right now Therapy Gecko
Speaker 1: Tour dot Com or the link in the episode description. Okay, anyway,
Speaker 1: let's read some emails. This is from Lard. Subject line
Speaker 1: betrayed my friend. Hey ghek, I wish I had a
Speaker 1: happier topic, but here we are. I did the worst
Speaker 1: thing you could possibly do to my best friend, and
Speaker 1: the guilt and shame is eating me alive. The TLDR
Speaker 1: as I stole his girl from him. This story is complicated,
Speaker 1: and I want to make clear I'm not seeking sympathy
Speaker 1: or any of the sort. I take full responsibility for
Speaker 1: my actions and I have zero excuses. I'm just putting
Speaker 1: this here to get it off my chest. The story is,
Speaker 1: me and my friend have been friends for years. We've
Speaker 1: made a lot of music together, been in many bands,
Speaker 1: and I dated this girl before he ever did. We
Speaker 1: broke up, and then very soon after my friends and
Speaker 1: her started dating. And this went on for a long
Speaker 1: time and me and the girl, Me and the girl
Speaker 1: both never fully got over each other. All three of
Speaker 1: us were very, very close, and even moved far away
Speaker 1: to the same city together. We did everything together, the
Speaker 1: three of us, including vacations. I basically hung out with
Speaker 1: them for almost five days a week, it seemed. We
Speaker 1: even all lived together for a time. For a while.
Speaker 1: It was totally fine, and sometimes we would talk about
Speaker 1: things with each other, and you could tell there was
Speaker 1: some kind of unhashed feelings from both of us, but
Speaker 1: we never went too deep into it, and the fires
Speaker 1: kept getting stoked, so to speak. Because of how intertwined
Speaker 1: our lives were, it was difficult to deny these feelings
Speaker 1: we both had for a while, and I handled it
Speaker 1: in the worst possible way. I'm leaving out a lot
Speaker 1: of detail, so I don't type an entire book here,
Speaker 1: but you get the idea. I let my feelings get
Speaker 1: the best of me, and I betrayed my friend to
Speaker 1: get this girl. Instead of having a mature, difficult conversation
Speaker 1: or confronting the feelings I had for this person, I
Speaker 1: just suppressed everything and it all boiled over. Obviously, me
Speaker 1: and the friend don't speak anymore, as they have since moved,
Speaker 1: and I'm ransacked with guilt and shame every day of
Speaker 1: how I handled the situation, and I wish I could
Speaker 1: have done things differently, and I hate hurting someone the
Speaker 1: way I did. I'll forever be sorry to my friend
Speaker 1: and I miss them dearly every day, but it's exactly
Speaker 1: what I deserve. I know I'll get a lot of
Speaker 1: heat for this, and rightfully so, but I wanted to
Speaker 1: get it off my chest. Not entirely sure what advice
Speaker 1: you could even give me, but maybe how to move
Speaker 1: on and like yourself again after a major fuck up.
Speaker 1: If you read this far, thank you Gek Bless. Wow.
Speaker 1: I feel like I just watched a CW original movie
Speaker 1: something like that. This felt Umm I really I wonder
Speaker 1: how old this guy is. This is This is a
Speaker 1: very two thousand and three email. I feel you guys
Speaker 1: were in a band, you both, the three of you guys.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just something about this just feels classic.
Speaker 1: I feel like this whole thing is very I don't know.
Speaker 1: There's some like hanging out at the mall being a teenager.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. When I'm imagine that, I feel
Speaker 1: like the I'm imagining the person who emailed me this
Speaker 1: wearing a T shirt with a skull and crossbones on it,
Speaker 1: and the girl is, like, you know, like a girl.
Speaker 1: The friend looks like a Lumer from NEDS to Classified.
Speaker 1: One of the people in this story looks like Lumer
Speaker 1: from NEDS to Classified. Um shit, man, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It sounds like this sounds like a deeply emotionally charged
Speaker 1: situation for all three of you, and there's something something
Speaker 1: weird is going on. I mean you the three of
Speaker 1: you guys, like you guys are in like a polyocule almost, man.
Speaker 1: I mean, you guys are like on vacations together, hanging
Speaker 1: out every single day. I bet you're all sleeping in
Speaker 1: the same bed. Like, what do you got? Like? What
Speaker 1: is going on here? I don't really have advice on this,
Speaker 1: m How do you got? I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1: This is one of those callers I would rather talk
Speaker 1: to because are you and the girls still together? That's
Speaker 1: what I want to know. Are you and the girls
Speaker 1: still hanging out? Are you still around? Is she happy?
Speaker 1: What's her deal in all this? I mean, how this
Speaker 1: sounds like a long process of feelings and whatnot. Sorry.
Speaker 1: I don't have much better to say than reading the email,
Speaker 1: but let's keep going. Okay ooh medical student with a
Speaker 1: stutter response to Anthony. Hey, ghak, my name is Aaron.
Speaker 1: I'm listening to the GEK mail episode with Anthony, the
Speaker 1: guy who had the stutter. I remember Anthony on the
Speaker 1: train this morning, and I have some thoughts. I'm currently
Speaker 1: twenty one years old and going through medical school in
Speaker 1: the UK, having grown up with a stutter. I usually
Speaker 1: have a block type stutter, or part way through a sentence,
Speaker 1: it feels like my throat closes and I simply can't
Speaker 1: get the words out. I have been quite insecure about
Speaker 1: my stutter in years gone by, having had some bad
Speaker 1: experiences with it myself. I became convinced that people think
Speaker 1: I'm less intelligent or otherwise less capable for it, going
Speaker 1: out of my way to apologize for it when starting conversations,
Speaker 1: but all that was doing was making the stutter worse.
Speaker 1: I appreciate this is so much easier said than done,
Speaker 1: but if someone's going to make an issue out of
Speaker 1: a stutter, that is genuinely a them problem and not
Speaker 1: a reflection of you. I still stutter, particularly when I
Speaker 1: get nervous, but I found that it's often best to
Speaker 1: just ignore it and pretend it didn't happen. I've got
Speaker 1: things in my life now that I didn't think would
Speaker 1: be possible a few years ago. I am lucky enough
Speaker 1: to have a loving girlfriend, and I'm training to be
Speaker 1: a doctor despite it all, because my stutter doesn't define
Speaker 1: me anymore. Anthony, We're so much more than our speech impediments.
Speaker 1: I wish you all the best. Thanks for all you do, Lyle.
Speaker 1: I'm a massive fan of the show. Thank you for
Speaker 1: sending this email. Erin motherfucking stutter stutter, I'm not doing
Speaker 1: a bit stutter solidarity between Aaron and Anthony. I mean, shit, brother,
Speaker 1: look at Aaron. He's going through medical school, he's got
Speaker 1: his ass a girlfriend, he's trained to be a doctor.
Speaker 1: I mean, I remember, for those of you who don't remember,
Speaker 1: maybe you didn't listen to that episode, but there was
Speaker 1: a gentleman named Anthony who was feeling like his stutter
Speaker 1: was preventing him from living a successful, normal life. And
Speaker 1: you know, we were trying to hype him up a
Speaker 1: little bit because I think that it's of course possible.
Speaker 1: I mean, look at this motherfucker Aaron over here. He's
Speaker 1: doing it. Respect all right. This is from Bren. Subject
Speaker 1: line is socks Hey, Lyle, this is Bren. As part
Speaker 1: of my twenty twenty six New Year's resolution, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to minimize my ecological footprint as much as possible. One
Speaker 1: way I am doing this is repairing old clothing items
Speaker 1: instead of replacing them immediately with things from the store. Yesterday,
Speaker 1: I did this with all my pairs of socks with holes.
Speaker 1: I had a fun time learning a new skill. Here's
Speaker 1: a picture of the repaired socks. I hope this can
Speaker 1: inspire people to be more environmentally conscious in the future.
Speaker 1: Look at that he repaired the holes in his socks.
Speaker 1: Oh man, I feel like a dick. I've thrown away
Speaker 1: so many socks with holes in them. Actually, I'll say this,
Speaker 1: I think just wearing Okay, I mean I wear shit
Speaker 1: with holes in it a lot, mainly because I just
Speaker 1: don't I don't care about clothes, Like I don't buy
Speaker 1: a lot of new clothes. I don't really care about
Speaker 1: like fancy clothes especially, So like most of my most
Speaker 1: of my wardrobe is just like stuff that I've come upon,
Speaker 1: like I have, Like I wear a lot of T
Speaker 1: shirts from like venues that I've played, Like I wear
Speaker 1: a shirt that says, like, you know, Capital Camps, fucking
Speaker 1: Jewish Summer Camp twenty ten type of shit, Like just
Speaker 1: stuff that's been from my life. You know, a random
Speaker 1: free T shirt that I wanted a state fair in
Speaker 1: twenty eighteen, Just like random shit. So I guess my
Speaker 1: way of supporting the environment is uh is looking shitty,
Speaker 1: not buying normal clothes, like a normal human man. This
Speaker 1: is from Marion subject line A walk, dear lyle, I
Speaker 1: wanted to share with you a nice experience I had yesterday. Often,
Speaker 1: when I stay inside for too long, I begin to
Speaker 1: feel like life is passing me by. But often even
Speaker 1: just a small walk is enough to break me out
Speaker 1: of that headspace. You goddamn right it is. I went
Speaker 1: on a small walk to get a coffee, and on
Speaker 1: that walk I saw a skateboarder skating around by themselves,
Speaker 1: and I wondered if they were on a winter break.
Speaker 1: I remembered when I used to skate around when I
Speaker 1: was unemployed and had long breaks from school and nothing
Speaker 1: to do all day, and I remembered it fondly. Then
Speaker 1: I walked by two girls who were sitting at a
Speaker 1: cafe together in cute outfits. I overheard them a little bit,
Speaker 1: and they were complimenting each other's outfits. They seemed like
Speaker 1: new friends or potentially It was a first and it
Speaker 1: reminded me of hanging out with one of my best
Speaker 1: friends now for the first time. Then it passed by
Speaker 1: a man who was homeless, and I kind of wanted
Speaker 1: to chat with him because I was remembering when me
Speaker 1: and an old friend would walk around my old college
Speaker 1: town and talk to some of the crazy hippies who
Speaker 1: lived there. I didn't have anything to say, so I
Speaker 1: didn't talk to him, but I didn't really need to.
Speaker 1: It's crazy how much just a small walk can remind
Speaker 1: me of how much life is worth living. I felt
Speaker 1: like I've had a worthwhile life so far, and the
Speaker 1: walk reminded me of that, even though it was just
Speaker 1: a walk. I think everyone should go outside at least
Speaker 1: once a day. Thanks for listening. Wow, that's my favorite
Speaker 1: email I've ever gotten to my entire life. That was awesome.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sharing that. Marian. Holy shit,
Speaker 1: it's true. It's so true, dude. Life is actually really interesting.
Speaker 1: I love living in a walkable city. I never, in
Speaker 1: my never on the planet earth in my life ever
Speaker 1: do I want to ever. I so my car back
Speaker 1: in uh twenty twenty three, and I haven't bought one since.
Speaker 1: I never want and i'd look my life goal. I
Speaker 1: never want to buy a car ever again in my
Speaker 1: whole life. I never want to buy a stupid car
Speaker 1: ever again in my whole life. I love walking everywhere
Speaker 1: just looking at people, being like, how does that person know?
Speaker 1: That person, like you're like watching, like you know what
Speaker 1: it is. Man is like you only you only get
Speaker 1: to live your own stupid life, right, and sometimes it
Speaker 1: feels kind of restrictive. But if you go outside and
Speaker 1: just stare at people like a creep and just look
Speaker 1: at other folks living their lives, it's like you get
Speaker 1: to like live other people's lives vicariously through them, you know.
Speaker 1: So if you, you know, just walk around and look
Speaker 1: at people, you start living a bunch of lives outside
Speaker 1: of your own. Man. I love it, Man, I love
Speaker 1: I mean, be out of the house as much as
Speaker 1: you possibly can. Shout out to Mary and thank you
Speaker 1: for sharing the details of your walk. That was very lovely.
Speaker 1: This is from FJ subject line I left my faith
Speaker 1: and feel less anxiety to my favorite podcaster Gecko. Hello,
Speaker 1: I feel like a major hypocrite. I used to attend church,
Speaker 1: devoted my mourning to Bible reading, and followed my pastor's
Speaker 1: teachings so closely I lost friendships. Two years ago, I
Speaker 1: married a Muslim man. I remember my pastor's teachings against
Speaker 1: these people as a form of dark Christianity. I remember
Speaker 1: their teachings were constantly bashing these people I had never met.
Speaker 1: I remember believing these teachings wholeheartedly. I used to repeat
Speaker 1: their hatred for the religion and the people. Eventually, these
Speaker 1: same people were openly against blacks and other races. This
Speaker 1: hurt me too much to realize the people I wanted
Speaker 1: to believe in could be so openly racist. Meeting my
Speaker 1: Muslim husband was completely by chance. I had met many
Speaker 1: people outside of the church community who were more kind
Speaker 1: than my church family. The farther away I became from
Speaker 1: my upbringing, the more peace I had felt. I now
Speaker 1: realize how much fear mongering my church used to control
Speaker 1: their followers. I don't want to call it a cult,
Speaker 1: but now I'm seeing some red flags when I used
Speaker 1: to try to deny that idea of it being a cult.
Speaker 1: When I'm with my husband, I have never felt safer
Speaker 1: in my life. Something about him makes me feel safe.
Speaker 1: I used to take medication for anxiety and depression, but
Speaker 1: going further along into the marriage, I have no longer
Speaker 1: needed my meds. The way my husband cares for me
Speaker 1: is dramatically different from the way average Americans treat me.
Speaker 1: My husband is a foreigner from India. He came to
Speaker 1: the US for college. It's incredible how we met by
Speaker 1: chance on the Facebook dating app dude. Weirdly, throughout the
Speaker 1: history of this podcast, there's been a sizeable amount of
Speaker 1: Facebook dating app success stories after meeting him. I now
Speaker 1: see a ton of the anti Muslim propaganda from the
Speaker 1: US is being used to fear monger and keep people divided.
Speaker 1: The church goers I used to enjoy also stand completely divided.
Speaker 1: They believe any song or music that wasn't centered around
Speaker 1: Jesus was sinful, while my husband's belief is that too
Speaker 1: much focus on religion can become bad. My husband is
Speaker 1: a traditional man. He believes a man works while the
Speaker 1: woman stays at home. Before our baby was born, I
Speaker 1: would have more freedom than I knew what to do with.
Speaker 1: He would give me a wife, allowance, and my own
Speaker 1: car to do whatever I pleased. He's a kind and
Speaker 1: a good listener. He does all of the cooking while
Speaker 1: I only wash the dishes. I never imagined I could
Speaker 1: find someone like him. Now I see the obsessive behavior
Speaker 1: of my former church that has pushed people away. For
Speaker 1: the first time in my life, I do not constantly
Speaker 1: feel threatened by the fear of God looming over me
Speaker 1: with a deadly lightning bolt ready to strike if I
Speaker 1: sneeze too loud or improperly. I know that sounds silly,
Speaker 1: but I was given that much anxiety. I feel like
Speaker 1: a hypocrite for leaving the church, my marriage to a
Speaker 1: Muslim man, and my marijuana use. I do not use
Speaker 1: marijuana like an addict, only on occasion with company. I
Speaker 1: am grateful for my anxiety leaving me. However, I keep
Speaker 1: telling myself I should feel more guilty about leaving the church.
Speaker 1: Yet I feel nothing but a newfound sense of peace
Speaker 1: from my relationship with my husband and my life out
Speaker 1: of the church. I have now converted to Islam. Look
Speaker 1: at that. I am not as devout as I used
Speaker 1: to be. The Christians I used to love have left
Speaker 1: a painful impression on me. There's a part of me
Speaker 1: where I have only myself to blame for idolizing ultra
Speaker 1: conservative people. I can't believe how happy and good my
Speaker 1: life has become with my Mosheed. Man. What is that word? Man?
Speaker 1: Is that this guy's name? Or is what's the word?
Speaker 1: I mean? Mosque? What is? What the fuck does that mean?
Speaker 1: What does Oh? It's an error, it's a mosque it's
Speaker 1: an Arab word for mosque. Okay, wait, cheap. I can't
Speaker 1: believe how happy and good my life has become with
Speaker 1: my mosque man. Is that? Is that a word? He's
Speaker 1: such a sweetie in every way. He's not a good
Speaker 1: man because of his religion, but because of how he
Speaker 1: chooses to see the world. From Josephine, who thank you
Speaker 1: for sharing Josephine, fascinating, fascinating, fascinating. Why you by? Why
Speaker 1: do you? Why do you feel like a hypocrite? You
Speaker 1: should not feel like a hypocrite. I mean, I'm very happy.
Speaker 1: First of all, it sounds like I mean, religion is
Speaker 1: a tough thing, right because it's given a lot of
Speaker 1: people a lot of good stuff, but it's also caused
Speaker 1: a lot of like bad shit. You know, it's been
Speaker 1: organized in such a way that breeds hatred, but you know,
Speaker 1: people will find it as a way of you know, community.
Speaker 1: I think the my biggest problem with like organized religion
Speaker 1: is that it takes you know, these ideas of like
Speaker 1: faith and God and the Higher Power as like general
Speaker 1: ideas that are worth investigating and ascribing to and thinking
Speaker 1: about under the context of how to live and the
Speaker 1: story of where we come from and how to relate
Speaker 1: to one another or actually I think, you know, productive
Speaker 1: and interesting. But the more specific they get, once they
Speaker 1: start getting into like you know, don't eat bread and
Speaker 1: you know, don't don't be gay or whatever, it's like,
Speaker 1: it's just it's just stupid. It's just it's like, what
Speaker 1: are we doing at this point? So no, I don't
Speaker 1: think you need to be uh feel you know, like
Speaker 1: a hypocrite for leaving the church. This is why I
Speaker 1: also I have a lot of sympathy for people because
Speaker 1: I mean, this woman clearly, you know, grew up, it seems,
Speaker 1: in this church and was under the influence of a
Speaker 1: lot of ideas and a lot of people, and you know,
Speaker 1: she found her way out of there and managed to
Speaker 1: find happiness and managed to expand her worldview. And I'm
Speaker 1: happy for her as she did that. You know. It's
Speaker 1: why I try to extend the benefit of the doubt
Speaker 1: to most people, because I think, I don't know if
Speaker 1: there really is any difference between like, you know, people,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know what the difference is.
Speaker 1: I don't know where the agency lies in Like everyone
Speaker 1: is the way they are because they had some form
Speaker 1: of conditioning from the universe. You know their parents and
Speaker 1: the world and whatnot. And yeah, at some point you
Speaker 1: take agency for what you believe and what you do
Speaker 1: and all those things. Of course, the society operates under
Speaker 1: that that at some point you take agency. But also
Speaker 1: you know, so much of where you wind up or
Speaker 1: if you get the chance to take that agency has
Speaker 1: to do with, you know, just factors outside of your control.
Speaker 1: So you know, I extend the bend for the doubt
Speaker 1: to folks, but thank you for sharing this story. Josephine.
Speaker 1: I think you should. I think you should be easy
Speaker 1: on yourself, my friend. Okay, this is from a Harold
Speaker 1: subject line. My girlfriend can't communicate. Hey, Gecko, you can
Speaker 1: call me Harold. I'm a twenty two year old living
Speaker 1: in Australia. I'm at a point in my life where
Speaker 1: I need to make an important decision about my relationship.
Speaker 1: I would love for you to give me some advice.
Speaker 1: I've been dating my current girlfriend for almost a year,
Speaker 1: and for the most part, it's been amazing. She's the funniest, kindest,
Speaker 1: most beautiful girl in the world. But I feel as
Speaker 1: if she may not be the one for me. I
Speaker 1: consider myself a relatively emotionally intelligent person, and I love
Speaker 1: having deep conversations, debates, and discussions about many things. I'm
Speaker 1: a very introspective person and I love thinking about life, people, art,
Speaker 1: and music. There's a lot going on in my head
Speaker 1: and I love having someone to share that with. It's
Speaker 1: why I get along with my two best friends extremely well.
Speaker 1: We can chat about nonsense for hours and have the
Speaker 1: best time. I need that outlet. Unfortunately, I feel as
Speaker 1: if for someone to be my partner, I need them
Speaker 1: to think in a similar way, and I think my
Speaker 1: girlfriend isn't that person. Often when I try to engage
Speaker 1: in a conversation about a specific topic with her, it
Speaker 1: just feels like I'm info dumping my thoughts, and most
Speaker 1: of the time she either says something along the lines
Speaker 1: of wow, you know a lot about that or you
Speaker 1: think a lot, instead of trying to engage back with me,
Speaker 1: or even disagreeing with something I say, ooh, I have
Speaker 1: a lot of thoughts about this topic. Actually, it's to
Speaker 1: the point where I ask her about her day. She
Speaker 1: often gives me a it was good or it was tiring,
Speaker 1: and then I'd have to be the one to ask
Speaker 1: for the questions about to find out about her day,
Speaker 1: which is exhausting. Whoa interesting And it's not like she
Speaker 1: is losing interest in me or anything. It's just that
Speaker 1: I don't think she has the capacity to think in
Speaker 1: the way I think I know exactly where this guy's
Speaker 1: head is. That I'm excited to talk about this. She
Speaker 1: loves me so much and I love her the same.
Speaker 1: Everything outside of this is perfect in the relationship. She's
Speaker 1: just really bad at communicating how she feels. Often refuses to,
Speaker 1: and it's hard for her to think about things beyond
Speaker 1: surface level. It's not her fault, it's just who she is.
Speaker 1: But I'm starting to feel like it's not gonna work.
Speaker 1: We watch a movie together and she never wants to
Speaker 1: discuss it. We listen to an album in the car together,
Speaker 1: and it's always either good or bad or nothing else.
Speaker 1: I ask her a hypothetical question or a philosophical question,
Speaker 1: and she says, I don't like thinking too hard about things.
Speaker 1: I love her so much, she does so much for me.
Speaker 1: I can't bear to leave her, but I just need
Speaker 1: more from her. Maybe I'm thinking about things too much.
Speaker 1: I'm stuck in my head a lot. Maybe I'm just
Speaker 1: extremely pretentious and weird. I don't know. Thanks for reading. Harold, Harold. Oh, Harold, Oh, Harold, Harold.
Speaker 1: Let's talk, brother. So here's the thing. I know exactly
Speaker 1: the kind of person that you are because I'm a
Speaker 1: similar kind of person. I know exactly the kind of
Speaker 1: person that your girlfriend is because I've interacted with, you know,
Speaker 1: people like that before. I've had relationships with people like
Speaker 1: that before. And you know, you and I are wired
Speaker 1: very differently. But this is something I've thought about a lot,
Speaker 1: and I'll tell you why, because I'm exactly like you, Harold.
Speaker 1: You know. I mean, I'm always thinking about philosophical things.
Speaker 1: I mean, I do it for a living on this podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm always getting too deep into stuff. I'm very introspective.
Speaker 1: I think a lot. I like analyzing movies, I like
Speaker 1: analyzing music. I like doing all those things. And dude,
Speaker 1: you know what's funny is like, in my personal romantic search,
Speaker 1: I've had times for me where I'm like, do you
Speaker 1: know what if I'm doing this all day, if like
Speaker 1: when I'm with my friends or I'm working making videos,
Speaker 1: doing this, doing that, If I'm while I'm in the
Speaker 1: majority of my life and talking to the majority of
Speaker 1: people and this and the other thing. If I'm introspective
Speaker 1: and this kind of analytical part of myself when I
Speaker 1: come home at the end of a long day, it's
Speaker 1: kind of fun fucking nice to just be with someone
Speaker 1: who wants to have simple ass, regular fucking conversations who
Speaker 1: I just love and feel good about. You know, sometimes
Speaker 1: it's kind of fucking nice, right. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you ever feel that way. I don't know if, like,
Speaker 1: because I sometimes like I've been in situation I've been
Speaker 1: in like relationships and situations where we're both kind of
Speaker 1: like introspective talking people, and I'm like, ah, fuck, I
Speaker 1: don't have the energy to be that version of myself
Speaker 1: right now. And I and I just only have energy to, like,
Speaker 1: I have the perfect amount of energy to talk to
Speaker 1: somebody about if like the fucking food we're eating is
Speaker 1: good or not, you know what I mean. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you're like that. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: always I don't know if you're always on like I know,
Speaker 1: I think I have a pretty good idea of the
Speaker 1: kind of brain you have. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: have that kind of brain. You know, twenty four hours
Speaker 1: a day and I by the way. I agree with you.
Speaker 1: There is nothing inherently wrong about your girlfriend being that way. Like,
Speaker 1: there are just some people who are you know, have strong,
Speaker 1: crazy internal monologues and introspections, and then some people who don't.
Speaker 1: And I do believe that there are successful relationships that
Speaker 1: exist between those people, and all depends on what you want.
Speaker 1: Should you break up with your girlfriend. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you should break up with your girlfriend. I really
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, can you find this outlet for
Speaker 1: you to be understood in other ways? Slowly, as I'm
Speaker 1: getting older and like meeting people and dating people and
Speaker 1: talking to people and doing all this stuff, like I'm
Speaker 1: feeling more and more like it's not realistic for your
Speaker 1: partner to be everything, you know what I mean? Like
Speaker 1: you have your you have your two best friends who
Speaker 1: are you have your two best friends who uh? You
Speaker 1: have these kinds of relationships with right where you guys
Speaker 1: can talk about anything and fucking like get really really
Speaker 1: deep into shit and be pretentious and weird with right,
Speaker 1: and like, is it the worst thing in the world that, like,
Speaker 1: you know, when you go home at night and you're
Speaker 1: like with your girlfriend and you guys are eating dinner.
Speaker 1: You're just having like a nice little time and just
Speaker 1: being in your like domestic life, and then you know,
Speaker 1: maybe maybe when you're in the bathroom, you hit the
Speaker 1: group chat with the boys and you're like, Yo, did
Speaker 1: anyone just me and fucking my girl just watched this
Speaker 1: movie and ione see this movie is fucking crazy and
Speaker 1: your boys are like, yeah, dude, I love that, you know,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, that's not the worst
Speaker 1: thing in the world. I just don't. I just think
Speaker 1: the more I think about it, the older I get,
Speaker 1: the more I think about it, I just think it's
Speaker 1: not realistic for your partner to be everything, right, Like,
Speaker 1: what relationship in your fucking life is everything? You know?
Speaker 1: I feel like your your your girlfriend is like or
Speaker 1: your girlfriend your boyfriend, Like they kind of feel like
Speaker 1: a very specific role in your life. I mean some
Speaker 1: people it's different. Some people it's like, you know, their
Speaker 1: partner is like their best friend. There's some people it's like, you, dude,
Speaker 1: my you know, my my my, uh, my partner is
Speaker 1: my like we we're in business together, we fucking do
Speaker 1: fucking everything together, best friend, uh, you know, like whatever.
Speaker 1: And then some people have relationships where they their lives
Speaker 1: are a little separate, and they meet their needs other ways.
Speaker 1: My stepdad is a huge concert guy. He goes out
Speaker 1: to concerts. He's in he's he just turned seventy. He's
Speaker 1: going out to like fucking punk rock concerts at the
Speaker 1: at the Auto Bar downtown. Uh, my mom stays home,
Speaker 1: you know. Uh, they have a great relationship, you know,
Speaker 1: they they they do their own things. They fill their
Speaker 1: needs in other ways. Like, you know, it's the I don't.
Speaker 1: I just think it's like unrealistic to expect that your
Speaker 1: partner will have everything, because here's what's here's the thing, man,
Speaker 1: like you, you find another girl who can have that
Speaker 1: kind of dialogue with you, but a you might get
Speaker 1: home after you might get home after a long ass
Speaker 1: day and be like, oh fuck, you know, I actually
Speaker 1: don't really feel like having a philosophical conversation right now.
Speaker 1: And then your girlfriend's gonna be like, what the fuck
Speaker 1: I wanted a guy who has a philosophical conversation? You know,
Speaker 1: maybe maybe maybe you meet dude. Maybe you meet like
Speaker 1: an introspective, uh super like smart, pretentious girl who communicates
Speaker 1: very well. Maybe you exhaust her, you know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 1: there's so many factors. Maybe you meet this girl, maybe
Speaker 1: you guys really connect on that level, but like whatever
Speaker 1: like comfort or sauce you feel with this current girl,
Speaker 1: like that's not present in her right. So you got
Speaker 1: to decide for yourself what you want to make your
Speaker 1: where where you're happy to make your concessions. It sounds
Speaker 1: like from the way you've written this email, it sounds
Speaker 1: like this is a place you don't want to make
Speaker 1: a concession. But think about it, dude, really really think
Speaker 1: about it, you know, because you're you don't want you
Speaker 1: because at a certain point you have to understand that
Speaker 1: dating and relationships are like it's fucking whack them mole, dude,
Speaker 1: like whatever you like, Like you look at the person
Speaker 1: you're fucking dating and you're like, oh fuck I like
Speaker 1: all this stuff. I don't like that stuff. And then okay,
Speaker 1: maybe leave you go find someone else. You're gonna be like, oh,
Speaker 1: well shit, they don't have the thing that I liked
Speaker 1: about the other person. Even though they have this thing,
Speaker 1: it's just gonna be whack them mole. So kind of
Speaker 1: you have to decide what your concessions are and then
Speaker 1: move forward with you know, what you're willing to put
Speaker 1: up with. But yeah, those are my thoughts, Harold, those
Speaker 1: are my thoughts. I really yeah, I truly do believe that.
Speaker 1: I don't think your partner can be like everything. That's
Speaker 1: a lot to add. It's like asking your like, you know,
Speaker 1: even like your fucking parents, like they're not everything your
Speaker 1: friends are like, no relationship in your life is meant
Speaker 1: I think to be cover every single one of your bases,
Speaker 1: and no human being can you know if you can
Speaker 1: find if you can find a relationship where your partner
Speaker 1: is as many things as they can possibly be, and
Speaker 1: they can be a lot of things and fulfill a
Speaker 1: lot of different roles in your life, you're very, very
Speaker 1: very lucky. But I don't know if that's most people chat.
Speaker 1: Tell me what you chat, Tell me what you think
Speaker 1: about that. I'm curious. I want to I want to
Speaker 1: know people's opinions on everything I just said. I'm curious
Speaker 1: what people have to say. Hit me up in the
Speaker 1: Spotify comments section with your thoughts on all that shit.
Speaker 1: I'm curious what the people have to say. All right,
Speaker 1: this is from someone. This is from a person a
Speaker 1: new login on Chrome from Mac. Okay, that's not me
Speaker 1: or that is me? I don't know why I said.
Speaker 1: This is not me. Uh hold on, We're gonna do it.
Speaker 1: We're gonna find someone, all right. This is from uh
Speaker 1: Midwest Tina, Hey gek. My last two years have been
Speaker 1: a rough transition after I came out as a lesbian,
Speaker 1: moved a few hours away to another state, and in
Speaker 1: the process found out my mutual friends with my ex
Speaker 1: husband were not so mutual after all. Having your podcast
Speaker 1: to listen to has been really important to my mental
Speaker 1: health and not feeling so alone. Thank you, Tina. My
Speaker 1: ex husband alienated me from all of my individual friends
Speaker 1: until we only had mutual ones. That's tough. That's tough.
Speaker 1: It has now been over two years since the divorce,
Speaker 1: with me sadly realizing all those friends were not actually
Speaker 1: my friends. This isn't the first time I've had to
Speaker 1: start over. And I'm about the same age as you.
Speaker 1: I'm turning thirty this year. I grew up in a
Speaker 1: restrictive cult environment that centered around young Earth creationism. Okay,
Speaker 1: we got a theme going on today. It is a
Speaker 1: set of strict Christian beliefs. For example, I was taught
Speaker 1: the Earth was only seven thousand years old, that dinosaur
Speaker 1: bones were placed by God in order to give scientists
Speaker 1: something to do. And I did not even know what
Speaker 1: the theory of evolution was until I looked it up
Speaker 1: at my own, on my own, at seventeen. Fucking crazy.
Speaker 1: So when I left home at seventeen, I also left
Speaker 1: behind my whole community. My school was run by the church,
Speaker 1: and I literally didn't know anyone who was an atheist
Speaker 1: until I was sixteen. I adopted the title of atheist
Speaker 1: for myself by age twenty two. All of that leads
Speaker 1: me to another benefit I have found from listening to you.
Speaker 1: My social skills were significantly stunted because of that upbringing,
Speaker 1: and I have always found it easy to start conversations
Speaker 1: with people, but I have a hard time continuing conversations
Speaker 1: if I have to carry them. I find making new
Speaker 1: friends very difficult. I am on a waiting list for
Speaker 1: autism testing three years. Here, you've been on a waiting
Speaker 1: list for autism testing for three years. I feel like
Speaker 1: you can just go. I feel like you can just
Speaker 1: go find like A. I feel like I get a
Speaker 1: lot of like banner ads for tests that will tell
Speaker 1: you if you're autistic within like five minutes of answering
Speaker 1: a cute a couple questions, like where they show you
Speaker 1: like a fucking rectangle with a bunch of rectangles inside
Speaker 1: of it, and they're like how many rectangles are in
Speaker 1: this rectangle? Type of shit. I don't know how accurate
Speaker 1: those tests are, but at least you know you'll get
Speaker 1: them faster than whatever the thing is you've been waiting
Speaker 1: three years for. Social cues are not the easiest for
Speaker 1: me either. Listening to the way to conduct conversations and
Speaker 1: carry them when the other person isn't giving you a
Speaker 1: lot to work with has given has been one of
Speaker 1: the more helpful things for me in trying to learn
Speaker 1: and practice social skills. I honestly cannot say thanks enough
Speaker 1: for modeling a great way of interacting with people that
Speaker 1: you may not have much in common with, and I
Speaker 1: feel a lot more confident in my follow up question
Speaker 1: skills because of listening to you for years. Thank you,
Speaker 1: Gek Midwest Tina, Thank you Tina. This is a really
Speaker 1: sweet email. I appreciate you. I'm sorry about this. Like
Speaker 1: friend group thing good news and bad news. Bad news
Speaker 1: is you made a mistake, and the mistake was that
Speaker 1: you mixed see this kind of bro This piggybacks a
Speaker 1: little bit onto what I was saying about, like your
Speaker 1: partner being everything like in this person's you know example,
Speaker 1: like their partner was also like their husband was like
Speaker 1: a member of their friend group, which is also kind
Speaker 1: of like a whole ass thing, like when you guys
Speaker 1: share friends. You know that. I mean, everything in life
Speaker 1: comes with pros and cons, right, like sharing sharing friends
Speaker 1: with your husband can be a very beautiful thing, like
Speaker 1: you know, really makes you feel like you're in a
Speaker 1: fucking tribe, you know. But you know, the more beautiful
Speaker 1: something is, the worse it is when it gets fucking
Speaker 1: ripped apart and shit. So I'm sorry you made that error.
Speaker 1: The good news is is that you know you're you
Speaker 1: can easily go make a new group of friends. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna talk about the whole process of doing that
Speaker 1: because we've covered it so much in this podcast already,
Speaker 1: but uh, go make another group of friends. You moved
Speaker 1: to another state. You're figuring out for yourself better how
Speaker 1: to have good social interactions. I think I think you're
Speaker 1: gonna be okay. I think this is a good I
Speaker 1: actually think this is good. I feel like this is
Speaker 1: like it's good that you know that your friends were
Speaker 1: not really your friends. And you're only thirty and there's
Speaker 1: so many opportunities for you to go and make new friends.
Speaker 1: So go out and make some new friends, Midwest Tina,
Speaker 1: and go go to a different waiting list for autism testing.
Speaker 1: There's no way, there's no way. There's just one place,
Speaker 1: and you have to wait three years for it. Go go,
Speaker 1: go take go, take like a Facebook quiz or something
Speaker 1: like that, or or just or just or just you know,
Speaker 1: or just decide for yourself whatever you are. I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's not medical advice, but just just just you know what,
Speaker 1: you know what, Tina, Just decide that you're Tina. Just
Speaker 1: decide that you're Tina, and you're a good person and
Speaker 1: you're gonna go make a lot of friends. Just decide
Speaker 1: that and and and execute your execute the will of
Speaker 1: your own identity upon the universe. Midwest Tina. I believe
Speaker 1: in you. Okay. This is from KerPlunk subject line the
Speaker 1: desire to be human again is overwhelming me. Hey Gek.
Speaker 1: Before I start with the topic, I want to say
Speaker 1: I greatly appreciate you and your show. I've been an
Speaker 1: avid listener since twenty twenty three. Your show has helped
Speaker 1: me find new perspectives on some topics and provide entertainment
Speaker 1: while I'm at work, school, or on a long drive.
Speaker 1: Thanks for being you. Thank you. As of November twenty
Speaker 1: twenty fifth, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Since Grade one,
Speaker 1: I've known I've had dyslexia. The school caught onto it
Speaker 1: decently soon and put me in the SPED classes up
Speaker 1: until middle school, where they stopped putting me in them.
Speaker 1: But over the years I've had a sneaking suspicion that
Speaker 1: I might have more than just dyslexia. I've had a
Speaker 1: lot of behaviors and habits that didn't really fit the
Speaker 1: dyslexic narratives. Excessive stemming, forgetfulness, impatience, rapid and excessive thoughts,
Speaker 1: just to name a few. I put off getting tested
Speaker 1: until I turned eighteen in September, where I could finally
Speaker 1: make my own doctor's appointments and pay for the sessions.
Speaker 1: By November, it was made official. I have ADHD. I
Speaker 1: got tested not only to get peace of mind knowing
Speaker 1: exactly what's wrong with me, but also to try out
Speaker 1: some medication for it. Since the start of twenty twenty six,
Speaker 1: I started taking Vivance, which was the first stimulant drug
Speaker 1: I've taken. Never heard of it, No, I'm just kidding
Speaker 1: by Vance's awesome. Within the first week of taking it,
Speaker 1: it awoke this motivation within me to get back into
Speaker 1: the hobbies I used to enjoy, and even some that
Speaker 1: I got very hyper fixated on for a month and
Speaker 1: then dropped for added context. I am also have depression
Speaker 1: and anxiety, and because of this I was quick to
Speaker 1: be my harshest critic on anything I do. I used
Speaker 1: to love drawing. Anytime someone asked me what I do
Speaker 1: for fun, my go to answer was always drawing. It
Speaker 1: was easy for me to get lost into the flow state.
Speaker 1: I loved seeing an idea come together where at the
Speaker 1: end I can look back and be happy with the result.
Speaker 1: But two or three years ago, my idea on art
Speaker 1: was kind of shifted into this needs to look perfect
Speaker 1: or else it's not worth finishing. I would often compare
Speaker 1: my skill level to others around me and on those
Speaker 1: on social media. I started to hate drawing because I
Speaker 1: couldn't get it to look right, and anything I put
Speaker 1: out never looked anywhere near as good as what people
Speaker 1: around me would draw. Any time I tried to draw,
Speaker 1: my mind would start racing with these self deprecating thoughts,
Speaker 1: and anytime I hit a roadblock where I couldn't get
Speaker 1: something to look right, I'd give up, thinking I'm just
Speaker 1: not cut out for this and I will never be
Speaker 1: good at it. Something that once brought me joy and
Speaker 1: peace turned into constant self deprecation and hating myself for
Speaker 1: my lack of talent. Since last year, I wanted to
Speaker 1: get back into drawing and learning to build my skills,
Speaker 1: but anytime I tried, the thoughts kept rushing back and
Speaker 1: I'd quickly lose motivation again, which then led to a
Speaker 1: lot of ADHD paralysis. I felt stuck. I wanted to
Speaker 1: enjoy something again and learn new skills, but usually ended
Speaker 1: up doing nothing. Because of these overwhelming feelings of failure,
Speaker 1: ADHD paralysis quickly became my default. My day would consist
Speaker 1: of getting bored wanting to do something, but I can't
Speaker 1: bring myself to start. It felt like sandpaper screeping against
Speaker 1: my brain. But like I said earlier, since I started
Speaker 1: taking Vivance, I've almost completely lost this feeling and regained
Speaker 1: the motivation to do stuff again. I swear on my
Speaker 1: life By the way, Sorry, this is me talking, but
Speaker 1: I sware in my life this is not just an
Speaker 1: advertisement for vivants, although I do love I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: stimulants are great. There's more to this email. I'll read
Speaker 1: the rest of it, but yeah, I mean, stimulants are sick.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Don't listen, dude, I do a podcast.
Speaker 1: Don't fucking listen to what I have to say about medication.
Speaker 1: Talk to your doctor. It feels great getting excited to
Speaker 1: try something new. I feel like a little kid in
Speaker 1: the sense that I'm excited to try something new. I've
Speaker 1: regained the desire and confidence to be creative again. I
Speaker 1: can see what the world is offering me and what
Speaker 1: I can offer the world. I feel fantastic. But there's
Speaker 1: a catch. It is true, by the way, this is
Speaker 1: exactly what vivance feels like. It makes you feel like
Speaker 1: optimistic about life and shit. Okay, but there is a catch, apparently.
Speaker 1: What is the catch? Imagine all the hobbies you've ever
Speaker 1: had or still have. Imagine locking them all into a
Speaker 1: closet to be stored away for years. You randomly get
Speaker 1: bored and decide to open that closet door again and
Speaker 1: revisit some of these activities, but you're immediately bombarded with
Speaker 1: a bunch of options. That's how I feel right now.
Speaker 1: There's so much I want to do in so little time. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna skip the rest of
Speaker 1: this email except the very end where they go hail
Speaker 1: boognish that's a reference to the band Ween. And I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say to this person, listen, just do just. You
Speaker 1: got like just you gotta a lot of these folks.
Speaker 1: I'm like, listen, you gotta get over yourself. You gotta
Speaker 1: get over yourself, my friend, Kurplunk, you gotta get over yourself, KerPlunk,
Speaker 1: You gotta get over yourself, Kurpplunk, Just get over yourself.
Speaker 1: Just do something, Do something, KerPlunk, Please just pick something,
Speaker 1: you know, and I I gotta get over myself too.
Speaker 1: We all gotta get over ourselves. Just pick something, please.
Speaker 1: No like like running around being like should I do
Speaker 1: this or should I do this? Or should I do
Speaker 1: this or should I do this? Just like you're just
Speaker 1: you're stop stressing. You're stressing me out. Stop stressing. Stop sush,
Speaker 1: stop stop stressing yourself out. Kerk Plunk, it's okay. First
Speaker 1: of all, Kurplunk, I am extremely happy for you that
Speaker 1: you found vibance. I went through a crazy period of
Speaker 1: a lot of the stuff that you're talking about, and
Speaker 1: vibance is part of what helped me get out of
Speaker 1: it as well. But like, just pick something, Kurplunk, and
Speaker 1: just do it. I don't have a good thing for
Speaker 1: you except the Nike. Just do it, so stop like
Speaker 1: artificially freaking yourself out and just pick something and do it.
Speaker 1: You're over complicating yourself and your life, you know, So
Speaker 1: all right, I'll read a little bit of the rest
Speaker 1: of the email. I know realistically I don't have to
Speaker 1: do all these things at once, but it feels overwhelming
Speaker 1: having to choose what I want to spend my time on.
Speaker 1: Don't don't let it overwhelm you. How old are you?
Speaker 1: Do you have terminal cancer? You're in your twenties. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna assume you have plenty of time to do all
Speaker 1: the things you want to do. Maybe I die, but
Speaker 1: I don't know. Just do something. I don't know. That's
Speaker 1: my advice. Just do something, Kripplunk. I'm happy for you.
Speaker 1: I'm happy for you that you've gotten back your motivation
Speaker 1: to do stuff, but just stop psyching yourself out. I
Speaker 1: know it's people are getting get mad at me. I
Speaker 1: know it's easier said than done, but this you guys
Speaker 1: gotta get over yourself and just pick something. Thank you
Speaker 1: for listening to the show. Kriplunk. Just do something, do anything,
Speaker 1: don't kill anyone, do one of your things. All right,
Speaker 1: let's read a few more. This is from Ariel subject line.
Speaker 1: I lived with my schizophrenic grandmother for over a year,
Speaker 1: hey gek in twenty twenty four. My schizophrenic, dementia riddled
Speaker 1: grandmother mother lived with me and my family. Schizophrenia and
Speaker 1: dementia combined is a lethal combo, so she basically lived
Speaker 1: in her own separate reality. We constantly had music playing
Speaker 1: on a Google home to keep her occupied. She would
Speaker 1: dance for hours daily and talk directly into the speaker
Speaker 1: in an attempt to communicate with the musicians. Since she
Speaker 1: was a narcissist, she was convinced they all wanted to
Speaker 1: date her and were living next door to us. There
Speaker 1: were many times that I had to stop her from
Speaker 1: trying to leave for a date with Neil Diamond. You'd
Speaker 1: think it would be easy to prevent a seventy pound
Speaker 1: eighty six year old woman with cataracts from escaping, but
Speaker 1: she was surprisingly cunning. Every day she would criticize me
Speaker 1: for walking around the house naked because she couldn't see
Speaker 1: that I was wearing clothes. She also accused my step
Speaker 1: brother of having sex with his dog, which I personally
Speaker 1: thought was very funny. He did not. I have a
Speaker 1: ton of stories about her I'd love to share. If
Speaker 1: you're interested, I can call in some time. Sincerely, Ariel,
Speaker 1: thank you for sharing this, Ariel, I don't why not
Speaker 1: let her go out with Neil Diamond? Why not pretend?
Speaker 1: Why not? Shit? Man eighty six? You know what sucks?
Speaker 1: Is like, I just know that I'm not. I don't
Speaker 1: want to make fun of this woman because I got
Speaker 1: Oh my god, i I've got like not a crazy
Speaker 1: amount of years until I'm that woman. What I could be?
Speaker 1: I could be this woman. I could be that woman
Speaker 1: in fifty years. I mean I smoke weed every day.
Speaker 1: It's I could I could be this woman in my
Speaker 1: forties if I keep up my lifestyle. Now, this is
Speaker 1: just how it ends for everyone, not everyone. I see.
Speaker 1: I see this ending for me, and I'm actually kind
Speaker 1: of soothed by this because if I just start, if
Speaker 1: I like schizophrenic and dementia, this woman is hallucinating slowly
Speaker 1: to death rights like, and that's I'm sure. I don't
Speaker 1: know what does that feel like? I really want to
Speaker 1: know if anyone knows, let me know, if anyone's like
Speaker 1: as a doctor or something. I'm on an airplane and
Speaker 1: I'm like, does anyone here a doctor? I want to
Speaker 1: know what it feels like to go insane. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's not the worst way to go right, slowly
Speaker 1: losing your mind, because if I were like, like I
Speaker 1: saw a fucking a video of Dick van Dyck and
Speaker 1: he's one hundred years old and he's he's sharp, you
Speaker 1: know he's there, or like you see like Bernie Sanders,
Speaker 1: he's fucking eighty three eighty four, he's sharpest shit still
Speaker 1: very like cognisance, right, I feel like that'd be scary
Speaker 1: because if I'm really cognizant and I'm in my eighties,
Speaker 1: I'm like, shit, I don't have that much longer until
Speaker 1: this is all over, right, I think I'd be I
Speaker 1: think I'd get two in my head and I'd be
Speaker 1: just like afraid of the oblivion that I'm about to enter.
Speaker 1: But if I'm eighty six and I'm just like, you know,
Speaker 1: my grandchildren have to physically stop me from trying to
Speaker 1: go out on a date with fucking Taylor Swift or whatever.
Speaker 1: I wish I had a funnier one than Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1: But no, if I'm rid of with the menshow who
Speaker 1: do I want to go out on a date with.
Speaker 1: I can't think of anyone. If if my grandchildren to
Speaker 1: stop me from going out on a date with Lady Gaga,
Speaker 1: I think that that's good. That's how I'd like to die.
Speaker 1: I think that's how i'd like to go. So I'm
Speaker 1: glad that your grandmother is at least enjoying. I hope
Speaker 1: she's enjoying the reality that she's in. I mean, she's watching, uh,
Speaker 1: your stepbrother have sex with the dog. That's a little freaky.
Speaker 1: But you know, I wouldn't. I personally wouldn't mind at
Speaker 1: that age living in my own separate reality before dying,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to. Let I think being that way
Speaker 1: for like six years would suck. But like, if I
Speaker 1: could spend the last year, I'd like to spend the
Speaker 1: last year like okay, eighty five years old. I say
Speaker 1: bye to my children, and then I press a button
Speaker 1: and then I get to do one year fully dement
Speaker 1: shut out, and then that's like kind of my transition
Speaker 1: into the afterlife. I would do that, but I don't
Speaker 1: know if I get to choose. Let's see, do we
Speaker 1: have time for one more? I think we have time
Speaker 1: for at least one more? U, blue Bonnet, Hi, Gecko man,
Speaker 1: you can call me blue Bonnet. My friends ditched me
Speaker 1: on my birthday. I would like to first start this
Speaker 1: email by saying I love your podcast and I've been
Speaker 1: listening for a while now. I'm twenty three years old
Speaker 1: in Texas and I'm about to graduate college. I was
Speaker 1: going to tell you the story and how my feelings
Speaker 1: were hurt and how my mental health has deteriorated due
Speaker 1: to my friend group of ten plus years ditching me
Speaker 1: on my birthday. But I just listened to your most
Speaker 1: recent podcast with the girl talking about her friendship breakup,
Speaker 1: and your advice inspired me to try to get over it.
Speaker 1: I don't need to surround myself with people that can't
Speaker 1: show up when I need them to. It still bothers me,
Speaker 1: but I think I have to let time tickets. Course,
Speaker 1: I will say writing down the story really helped me out.
Speaker 1: I hope you're doing well. Can't wait to see you
Speaker 1: in Austin. PS. I apologize for honey potting you about
Speaker 1: the story. I don't think you know. I mean okay.
Speaker 1: First of all, congratulations, I fully believe. I mean dude, like,
Speaker 1: I'm a big motherfucking abundance mindset guy. That's what they
Speaker 1: call it, abundance mindset. I think you should go get
Speaker 1: some new friends, first of all. Second of all, that's
Speaker 1: not what honeypotting means. Honey Potting is when you like
Speaker 1: seduce someone sexually so that you can get government secrets
Speaker 1: from them. I don't think that's what you were doing.
Speaker 1: Maybe if I read the email again, maybe if I
Speaker 1: read it backwards, maybe if I translated it to Portuguese
Speaker 1: and read it again, I'd get a different I'd get
Speaker 1: that vibe. But this email as it is, I'm not
Speaker 1: getting that vibe. That's what you're doing. No, I'm stoked. Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't live in the past, brother, you're fucking twenty three.
Speaker 1: Just fucking go make some new friends Texas, Austin. Go
Speaker 1: hang out at a bluegrass show and talk to people
Speaker 1: about blue grass. That was a bad specific suggestion, But
Speaker 1: you know what I'm trying to say. All right, let's
Speaker 1: do one more. Should we do one more? Let's do
Speaker 1: one more. Let's see, Yeah, if I can find one
Speaker 1: more to read? Okay. Um. This is from Peter subject
Speaker 1: line nasty duality. Hey, Gecko, you can call me lizard.
Speaker 1: I hope you are doing all right and everything like that.
Speaker 1: The problem is that I'm an average Joe. I have
Speaker 1: good friends, family, etc. I'm doing okay in life, but
Speaker 1: there's a little part of me that thinks it's all fake,
Speaker 1: like I'm pretending just to fit in with others like
Speaker 1: my friend's family. Normally I'm fine, but I feel like
Speaker 1: there would always be a part of myself that haunts
Speaker 1: the real me. I'm working on fixing it myself, but
Speaker 1: I would appreciate any tips on improvement. I know I
Speaker 1: might sound corny, but to better explain the situation, just
Speaker 1: search the phrase a person has three faces on Google.
Speaker 1: A person has three faces? Uh oh okay. The concept
Speaker 1: of three faces is a Japanese proverb describing the different
Speaker 1: personas individuals adopt. It suggests the first face is shown
Speaker 1: to the world public polite, the second to friends and family,
Speaker 1: and the third is the true, hidden self, known only
Speaker 1: to one's self. I actually, in many ways agree with
Speaker 1: this proverb. But I also in many ways, and I've
Speaker 1: talked about this a bunch on the show, but I'll
Speaker 1: reiterate it, I don't believe I believe that, Yeah, like that. Sure,
Speaker 1: maybe all of them are like different, but I don't
Speaker 1: believe in ranking different versions of yourself, uh, based on truth,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't. I really don't believe in that. Obviously,
Speaker 1: there's like lots of different sides of yourself. There's sides
Speaker 1: of yourself that are brought out by situations and people
Speaker 1: and emotions, and you know, kind of like the one
Speaker 1: plus one equals three type of shit where it's like
Speaker 1: you and then some something external to yourself can create
Speaker 1: a new thing. You know. There's your thoughts, there's your feelings.
Speaker 1: There's you when you're alone, there's you when you're in public,
Speaker 1: you with your mom, you with your friends, you with
Speaker 1: your girlfriend, you with your dog, you when you're reading
Speaker 1: a comment on Reddit. All these us, Yes, I understand,
Speaker 1: but I heavily, heavily, heavily am against ranking them on
Speaker 1: truth because at the end of the day, they're all you.
Speaker 1: They're all something that you did during the timeline of
Speaker 1: your existence on the earth, and they're all equally true.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't believe in different versions of the
Speaker 1: self inherently needing to interact with the cut each other
Speaker 1: or contradict each other. I believe that they each kind
Speaker 1: of stand on their own particular ground. So I would
Speaker 1: I would stop trying to I would stop feeling like
Speaker 1: you're being haunted by this so called real version of yourself,
Speaker 1: and I would just accept that you are a complex,
Speaker 1: multi dimensional, unsolved human being as the humans as humanity
Speaker 1: and consciousness and personality, and the brain remains unsolved. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're unsolved, You're complex, you're intangible, and so there is
Speaker 1: no real you. It's all just you. So instead of
Speaker 1: feeling as though there's some deep sense of contrast, uh,
Speaker 1: just embrace the unity of your existence in all parts.
Speaker 1: All right, I think we did it. I think we
Speaker 1: did a gakmail. What do you guys think? I think
Speaker 1: we did a gak mail. My name is Lyle. Thank
Speaker 1: you guys for listening. If you want to send an email,
Speaker 1: send me an email at therapy geckomail at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: And please, folks, please please, I am going on tour.
Speaker 1: I am going on tour to thirty cities, and I
Speaker 1: will say all of them right now. I hope you
Speaker 1: can't hear my stupid icemaker ice machine in the back. Okay.
Speaker 1: Go to therapy geckotour dot com or check the link
Speaker 1: in the episode description to see me and get tickets
Speaker 1: at one of these cities. San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Minneapolis, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Charlotte, Madison, Detroit, Bloomington, Chicago, Atlanta, Nashville, DC, Philly,
Speaker 1: New York, Boston, Toronto, Lansing, Michigan, Grand Rapids, Montreal, Vegas,
Speaker 1: Salt Lake City, Denver, Phoenix, Austin, New Orleans, and Anchorage, Alaska.
Speaker 1: Excited for that one. Thank you folks for listening. Please
Speaker 1: go to therapy geckotour dot com. Tell your friends, tell
Speaker 1: your enemies. I'm gonna get out of here. Thank you
Speaker 1: guys very much for listening. It means a lot to me.
Speaker 1: That fuck man. Soon soon it'll be six years of
Speaker 1: doing this podcast. Can you guys believe it? Six motherfucking years,
Speaker 1: it's not yet, it's soon, but it's kind of amazing
Speaker 1: to me that we're still here, we're still doing this.
Speaker 1: So thank you guys for being on this journey with
Speaker 1: me and get bless you all. Talk to you guys
Speaker 1: again soon. Bye bye week and goes on the line
Speaker 1: taking your phone calls every night. The beacon goes, do
Speaker 1: what to ride? You're just teaching you a loud in
Speaker 1: the memory of life. Money's not really an expert.