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Speaker 1: Hello everyone, and welcome to the Therapy Gecko Podcast. Thank

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Speaker 1: you folks for tuning in with me today being here

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Speaker 1: with me as we continue in the year twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 1: God damn it to do this Gecko show. My name

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Speaker 1: is Lyle and I'm going to be hanging out with

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Speaker 1: you guys for the next hour reading some emails that

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Speaker 1: people have sent me to the email address therapy Gecko

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Speaker 1: mail at gmail dot com. We have a lot of

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Speaker 1: good ones today. I say that every time, but I

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Speaker 1: actually don't know this time. I just said that because

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Speaker 1: I haven't read any of the headlines yet. But let's

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Speaker 1: get into them. Oh wait, I'll go away actually before

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Speaker 1: we do that. Before we do that, folks, I declare

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Speaker 1: to you all formal that tickets for my twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: six tour are on sale right now at therapy Gecko

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Speaker 1: tour dot com, which I will link in the episode description.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to thirty cities. I'm gonna list as many

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Speaker 1: of them really fast as I possibly can. San Diego,

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Speaker 1: La As, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Minneapolis, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Charlotte, Madison, Detroit, Bloomington, Chicago, Atlanta, Nashville,

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Speaker 1: d C, Philly, New York, Boston, Toronto, Lansing, Michigan, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Montreal, Vegas,

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Speaker 1: Salt Lake City, Denver, Phoenix, Austin, New Orleans, and motherfucking Anchorage, Alaska.

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Speaker 1: I will be going to all of those cities this

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Speaker 1: year to do a combination of storytelling, comedy, and of

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Speaker 1: course Gecko therapy where we bring folks up from the audience.

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Speaker 1: I've lived a lot of life in the past, however

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Speaker 1: many years, I've got some stories to tell about it.

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Speaker 1: And you've all lived a lot of life in the past.

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Speaker 1: However many years you've all got stories to tell about it.

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Speaker 1: So let's all get together and tell our stories. Therapy

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Speaker 1: Gecko Tour dot Com. Tickets to all of those dates

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Speaker 1: are available right now, except Alaska, but you can still

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Speaker 1: go an RSVP if you want to go to the

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Speaker 1: Alaska show. So yeah, please, I'm very excited to go

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Speaker 1: on my fourth tour. I hope to see you all there,

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Speaker 1: and you can go buy tickets right now Therapy Gecko

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Speaker 1: Tour dot Com or the link in the episode description. Okay, anyway,

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Speaker 1: let's read some emails. This is from Lard. Subject line

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Speaker 1: betrayed my friend. Hey ghek, I wish I had a

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Speaker 1: happier topic, but here we are. I did the worst

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Speaker 1: thing you could possibly do to my best friend, and

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Speaker 1: the guilt and shame is eating me alive. The TLDR

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Speaker 1: as I stole his girl from him. This story is complicated,

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Speaker 1: and I want to make clear I'm not seeking sympathy

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Speaker 1: or any of the sort. I take full responsibility for

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Speaker 1: my actions and I have zero excuses. I'm just putting

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Speaker 1: this here to get it off my chest. The story is,

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Speaker 1: me and my friend have been friends for years. We've

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Speaker 1: made a lot of music together, been in many bands,

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Speaker 1: and I dated this girl before he ever did. We

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Speaker 1: broke up, and then very soon after my friends and

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Speaker 1: her started dating. And this went on for a long

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Speaker 1: time and me and the girl, Me and the girl

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Speaker 1: both never fully got over each other. All three of

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Speaker 1: us were very, very close, and even moved far away

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Speaker 1: to the same city together. We did everything together, the

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Speaker 1: three of us, including vacations. I basically hung out with

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Speaker 1: them for almost five days a week, it seemed. We

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Speaker 1: even all lived together for a time. For a while.

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Speaker 1: It was totally fine, and sometimes we would talk about

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Speaker 1: things with each other, and you could tell there was

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Speaker 1: some kind of unhashed feelings from both of us, but

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Speaker 1: we never went too deep into it, and the fires

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Speaker 1: kept getting stoked, so to speak. Because of how intertwined

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Speaker 1: our lives were, it was difficult to deny these feelings

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Speaker 1: we both had for a while, and I handled it

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Speaker 1: in the worst possible way. I'm leaving out a lot

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Speaker 1: of detail, so I don't type an entire book here,

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Speaker 1: but you get the idea. I let my feelings get

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Speaker 1: the best of me, and I betrayed my friend to

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Speaker 1: get this girl. Instead of having a mature, difficult conversation

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Speaker 1: or confronting the feelings I had for this person, I

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Speaker 1: just suppressed everything and it all boiled over. Obviously, me

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Speaker 1: and the friend don't speak anymore, as they have since moved,

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Speaker 1: and I'm ransacked with guilt and shame every day of

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Speaker 1: how I handled the situation, and I wish I could

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Speaker 1: have done things differently, and I hate hurting someone the

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Speaker 1: way I did. I'll forever be sorry to my friend

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Speaker 1: and I miss them dearly every day, but it's exactly

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Speaker 1: what I deserve. I know I'll get a lot of

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Speaker 1: heat for this, and rightfully so, but I wanted to

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Speaker 1: get it off my chest. Not entirely sure what advice

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Speaker 1: you could even give me, but maybe how to move

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Speaker 1: on and like yourself again after a major fuck up.

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Speaker 1: If you read this far, thank you Gek Bless. Wow.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I just watched a CW original movie

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Speaker 1: something like that. This felt Umm I really I wonder

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Speaker 1: how old this guy is. This is This is a

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Speaker 1: very two thousand and three email. I feel you guys

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Speaker 1: were in a band, you both, the three of you guys.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's just something about this just feels classic.

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Speaker 1: I feel like this whole thing is very I don't know.

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Speaker 1: There's some like hanging out at the mall being a teenager.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why. When I'm imagine that, I feel

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Speaker 1: like the I'm imagining the person who emailed me this

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Speaker 1: wearing a T shirt with a skull and crossbones on it,

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Speaker 1: and the girl is, like, you know, like a girl.

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Speaker 1: The friend looks like a Lumer from NEDS to Classified.

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Speaker 1: One of the people in this story looks like Lumer

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Speaker 1: from NEDS to Classified. Um shit, man, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like this sounds like a deeply emotionally charged

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Speaker 1: situation for all three of you, and there's something something

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Speaker 1: weird is going on. I mean you the three of

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Speaker 1: you guys, like you guys are in like a polyocule almost, man.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you guys are like on vacations together, hanging

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Speaker 1: out every single day. I bet you're all sleeping in

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Speaker 1: the same bed. Like, what do you got? Like? What

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Speaker 1: is going on here? I don't really have advice on this,

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Speaker 1: m How do you got? I mean, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: This is one of those callers I would rather talk

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Speaker 1: to because are you and the girls still together? That's

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Speaker 1: what I want to know. Are you and the girls

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Speaker 1: still hanging out? Are you still around? Is she happy?

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Speaker 1: What's her deal in all this? I mean, how this

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Speaker 1: sounds like a long process of feelings and whatnot. Sorry.

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Speaker 1: I don't have much better to say than reading the email,

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Speaker 1: but let's keep going. Okay ooh medical student with a

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Speaker 1: stutter response to Anthony. Hey, ghak, my name is Aaron.

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Speaker 1: I'm listening to the GEK mail episode with Anthony, the

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Speaker 1: guy who had the stutter. I remember Anthony on the

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Speaker 1: train this morning, and I have some thoughts. I'm currently

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Speaker 1: twenty one years old and going through medical school in

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Speaker 1: the UK, having grown up with a stutter. I usually

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Speaker 1: have a block type stutter, or part way through a sentence,

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Speaker 1: it feels like my throat closes and I simply can't

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Speaker 1: get the words out. I have been quite insecure about

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Speaker 1: my stutter in years gone by, having had some bad

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Speaker 1: experiences with it myself. I became convinced that people think

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Speaker 1: I'm less intelligent or otherwise less capable for it, going

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Speaker 1: out of my way to apologize for it when starting conversations,

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Speaker 1: but all that was doing was making the stutter worse.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate this is so much easier said than done,

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Speaker 1: but if someone's going to make an issue out of

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Speaker 1: a stutter, that is genuinely a them problem and not

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Speaker 1: a reflection of you. I still stutter, particularly when I

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Speaker 1: get nervous, but I found that it's often best to

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Speaker 1: just ignore it and pretend it didn't happen. I've got

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Speaker 1: things in my life now that I didn't think would

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Speaker 1: be possible a few years ago. I am lucky enough

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Speaker 1: to have a loving girlfriend, and I'm training to be

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Speaker 1: a doctor despite it all, because my stutter doesn't define

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Speaker 1: me anymore. Anthony, We're so much more than our speech impediments.

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Speaker 1: I wish you all the best. Thanks for all you do, Lyle.

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Speaker 1: I'm a massive fan of the show. Thank you for

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Speaker 1: sending this email. Erin motherfucking stutter stutter, I'm not doing

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Speaker 1: a bit stutter solidarity between Aaron and Anthony. I mean, shit, brother,

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Speaker 1: look at Aaron. He's going through medical school, he's got

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Speaker 1: his ass a girlfriend, he's trained to be a doctor.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I remember, for those of you who don't remember,

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Speaker 1: maybe you didn't listen to that episode, but there was

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Speaker 1: a gentleman named Anthony who was feeling like his stutter

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Speaker 1: was preventing him from living a successful, normal life. And

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Speaker 1: you know, we were trying to hype him up a

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Speaker 1: little bit because I think that it's of course possible.

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Speaker 1: I mean, look at this motherfucker Aaron over here. He's

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Speaker 1: doing it. Respect all right. This is from Bren. Subject

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Speaker 1: line is socks Hey, Lyle, this is Bren. As part

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Speaker 1: of my twenty twenty six New Year's resolution, I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to minimize my ecological footprint as much as possible. One

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Speaker 1: way I am doing this is repairing old clothing items

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Speaker 1: instead of replacing them immediately with things from the store. Yesterday,

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Speaker 1: I did this with all my pairs of socks with holes.

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Speaker 1: I had a fun time learning a new skill. Here's

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Speaker 1: a picture of the repaired socks. I hope this can

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Speaker 1: inspire people to be more environmentally conscious in the future.

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Speaker 1: Look at that he repaired the holes in his socks.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, I feel like a dick. I've thrown away

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Speaker 1: so many socks with holes in them. Actually, I'll say this,

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Speaker 1: I think just wearing Okay, I mean I wear shit

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Speaker 1: with holes in it a lot, mainly because I just

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Speaker 1: don't I don't care about clothes, Like I don't buy

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Speaker 1: a lot of new clothes. I don't really care about

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Speaker 1: like fancy clothes especially, So like most of my most

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Speaker 1: of my wardrobe is just like stuff that I've come upon,

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Speaker 1: like I have, Like I wear a lot of T

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Speaker 1: shirts from like venues that I've played, Like I wear

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Speaker 1: a shirt that says, like, you know, Capital Camps, fucking

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Speaker 1: Jewish Summer Camp twenty ten type of shit, Like just

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Speaker 1: stuff that's been from my life. You know, a random

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Speaker 1: free T shirt that I wanted a state fair in

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Speaker 1: twenty eighteen, Just like random shit. So I guess my

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Speaker 1: way of supporting the environment is uh is looking shitty,

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Speaker 1: not buying normal clothes, like a normal human man. This

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Speaker 1: is from Marion subject line A walk, dear lyle, I

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Speaker 1: wanted to share with you a nice experience I had yesterday. Often,

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Speaker 1: when I stay inside for too long, I begin to

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Speaker 1: feel like life is passing me by. But often even

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Speaker 1: just a small walk is enough to break me out

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Speaker 1: of that headspace. You goddamn right it is. I went

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Speaker 1: on a small walk to get a coffee, and on

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Speaker 1: that walk I saw a skateboarder skating around by themselves,

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Speaker 1: and I wondered if they were on a winter break.

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Speaker 1: I remembered when I used to skate around when I

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Speaker 1: was unemployed and had long breaks from school and nothing

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Speaker 1: to do all day, and I remembered it fondly. Then

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Speaker 1: I walked by two girls who were sitting at a

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Speaker 1: cafe together in cute outfits. I overheard them a little bit,

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Speaker 1: and they were complimenting each other's outfits. They seemed like

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Speaker 1: new friends or potentially It was a first and it

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Speaker 1: reminded me of hanging out with one of my best

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Speaker 1: friends now for the first time. Then it passed by

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Speaker 1: a man who was homeless, and I kind of wanted

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Speaker 1: to chat with him because I was remembering when me

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Speaker 1: and an old friend would walk around my old college

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Speaker 1: town and talk to some of the crazy hippies who

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Speaker 1: lived there. I didn't have anything to say, so I

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Speaker 1: didn't talk to him, but I didn't really need to.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy how much just a small walk can remind

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Speaker 1: me of how much life is worth living. I felt

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Speaker 1: like I've had a worthwhile life so far, and the

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Speaker 1: walk reminded me of that, even though it was just

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Speaker 1: a walk. I think everyone should go outside at least

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Speaker 1: once a day. Thanks for listening. Wow, that's my favorite

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Speaker 1: email I've ever gotten to my entire life. That was awesome.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sharing that. Marian. Holy shit,

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Speaker 1: it's true. It's so true, dude. Life is actually really interesting.

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Speaker 1: I love living in a walkable city. I never, in

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Speaker 1: my never on the planet earth in my life ever

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Speaker 1: do I want to ever. I so my car back

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Speaker 1: in uh twenty twenty three, and I haven't bought one since.

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Speaker 1: I never want and i'd look my life goal. I

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Speaker 1: never want to buy a car ever again in my

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Speaker 1: whole life. I never want to buy a stupid car

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Speaker 1: ever again in my whole life. I love walking everywhere

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Speaker 1: just looking at people, being like, how does that person know?

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Speaker 1: That person, like you're like watching, like you know what

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Speaker 1: it is. Man is like you only you only get

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Speaker 1: to live your own stupid life, right, and sometimes it

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Speaker 1: feels kind of restrictive. But if you go outside and

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Speaker 1: just stare at people like a creep and just look

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Speaker 1: at other folks living their lives, it's like you get

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Speaker 1: to like live other people's lives vicariously through them, you know.

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Speaker 1: So if you, you know, just walk around and look

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Speaker 1: at people, you start living a bunch of lives outside

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Speaker 1: of your own. Man. I love it, Man, I love

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Speaker 1: I mean, be out of the house as much as

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Speaker 1: you possibly can. Shout out to Mary and thank you

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Speaker 1: for sharing the details of your walk. That was very lovely.

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Speaker 1: This is from FJ subject line I left my faith

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Speaker 1: and feel less anxiety to my favorite podcaster Gecko. Hello,

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Speaker 1: I feel like a major hypocrite. I used to attend church,

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Speaker 1: devoted my mourning to Bible reading, and followed my pastor's

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Speaker 1: teachings so closely I lost friendships. Two years ago, I

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Speaker 1: married a Muslim man. I remember my pastor's teachings against

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Speaker 1: these people as a form of dark Christianity. I remember

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Speaker 1: their teachings were constantly bashing these people I had never met.

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Speaker 1: I remember believing these teachings wholeheartedly. I used to repeat

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Speaker 1: their hatred for the religion and the people. Eventually, these

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Speaker 1: same people were openly against blacks and other races. This

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Speaker 1: hurt me too much to realize the people I wanted

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Speaker 1: to believe in could be so openly racist. Meeting my

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Speaker 1: Muslim husband was completely by chance. I had met many

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Speaker 1: people outside of the church community who were more kind

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Speaker 1: than my church family. The farther away I became from

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Speaker 1: my upbringing, the more peace I had felt. I now

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Speaker 1: realize how much fear mongering my church used to control

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Speaker 1: their followers. I don't want to call it a cult,

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Speaker 1: but now I'm seeing some red flags when I used

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Speaker 1: to try to deny that idea of it being a cult.

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Speaker 1: When I'm with my husband, I have never felt safer

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Speaker 1: in my life. Something about him makes me feel safe.

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Speaker 1: I used to take medication for anxiety and depression, but

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Speaker 1: going further along into the marriage, I have no longer

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Speaker 1: needed my meds. The way my husband cares for me

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Speaker 1: is dramatically different from the way average Americans treat me.

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Speaker 1: My husband is a foreigner from India. He came to

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Speaker 1: the US for college. It's incredible how we met by

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Speaker 1: chance on the Facebook dating app dude. Weirdly, throughout the

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Speaker 1: history of this podcast, there's been a sizeable amount of

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Speaker 1: Facebook dating app success stories after meeting him. I now

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Speaker 1: see a ton of the anti Muslim propaganda from the

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Speaker 1: US is being used to fear monger and keep people divided.

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Speaker 1: The church goers I used to enjoy also stand completely divided.

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Speaker 1: They believe any song or music that wasn't centered around

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Speaker 1: Jesus was sinful, while my husband's belief is that too

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Speaker 1: much focus on religion can become bad. My husband is

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Speaker 1: a traditional man. He believes a man works while the

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Speaker 1: woman stays at home. Before our baby was born, I

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Speaker 1: would have more freedom than I knew what to do with.

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Speaker 1: He would give me a wife, allowance, and my own

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Speaker 1: car to do whatever I pleased. He's a kind and

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Speaker 1: a good listener. He does all of the cooking while

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Speaker 1: I only wash the dishes. I never imagined I could

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Speaker 1: find someone like him. Now I see the obsessive behavior

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Speaker 1: of my former church that has pushed people away. For

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Speaker 1: the first time in my life, I do not constantly

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Speaker 1: feel threatened by the fear of God looming over me

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Speaker 1: with a deadly lightning bolt ready to strike if I

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Speaker 1: sneeze too loud or improperly. I know that sounds silly,

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Speaker 1: but I was given that much anxiety. I feel like

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Speaker 1: a hypocrite for leaving the church, my marriage to a

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Speaker 1: Muslim man, and my marijuana use. I do not use

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Speaker 1: marijuana like an addict, only on occasion with company. I

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Speaker 1: am grateful for my anxiety leaving me. However, I keep

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Speaker 1: telling myself I should feel more guilty about leaving the church.

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Speaker 1: Yet I feel nothing but a newfound sense of peace

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Speaker 1: from my relationship with my husband and my life out

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Speaker 1: of the church. I have now converted to Islam. Look

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Speaker 1: at that. I am not as devout as I used

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Speaker 1: to be. The Christians I used to love have left

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Speaker 1: a painful impression on me. There's a part of me

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Speaker 1: where I have only myself to blame for idolizing ultra

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Speaker 1: conservative people. I can't believe how happy and good my

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Speaker 1: life has become with my Mosheed. Man. What is that word? Man?

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Speaker 1: Is that this guy's name? Or is what's the word?

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Speaker 1: I mean? Mosque? What is? What the fuck does that mean?

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Speaker 1: What does Oh? It's an error, it's a mosque it's

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Speaker 1: an Arab word for mosque. Okay, wait, cheap. I can't

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Speaker 1: believe how happy and good my life has become with

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Speaker 1: my mosque man. Is that? Is that a word? He's

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Speaker 1: such a sweetie in every way. He's not a good

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Speaker 1: man because of his religion, but because of how he

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Speaker 1: chooses to see the world. From Josephine, who thank you

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Speaker 1: for sharing Josephine, fascinating, fascinating, fascinating. Why you by? Why

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Speaker 1: do you? Why do you feel like a hypocrite? You

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Speaker 1: should not feel like a hypocrite. I mean, I'm very happy.

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Speaker 1: First of all, it sounds like I mean, religion is

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Speaker 1: a tough thing, right because it's given a lot of

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Speaker 1: people a lot of good stuff, but it's also caused

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Speaker 1: a lot of like bad shit. You know, it's been

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Speaker 1: organized in such a way that breeds hatred, but you know,

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Speaker 1: people will find it as a way of you know, community.

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Speaker 1: I think the my biggest problem with like organized religion

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Speaker 1: is that it takes you know, these ideas of like

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Speaker 1: faith and God and the Higher Power as like general

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Speaker 1: ideas that are worth investigating and ascribing to and thinking

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Speaker 1: about under the context of how to live and the

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Speaker 1: story of where we come from and how to relate

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Speaker 1: to one another or actually I think, you know, productive

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Speaker 1: and interesting. But the more specific they get, once they

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Speaker 1: start getting into like you know, don't eat bread and

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Speaker 1: you know, don't don't be gay or whatever, it's like,

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Speaker 1: it's just it's just stupid. It's just it's like, what

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Speaker 1: are we doing at this point? So no, I don't

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Speaker 1: think you need to be uh feel you know, like

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Speaker 1: a hypocrite for leaving the church. This is why I

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Speaker 1: also I have a lot of sympathy for people because

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Speaker 1: I mean, this woman clearly, you know, grew up, it seems,

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Speaker 1: in this church and was under the influence of a

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Speaker 1: lot of ideas and a lot of people, and you know,

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Speaker 1: she found her way out of there and managed to

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Speaker 1: find happiness and managed to expand her worldview. And I'm

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Speaker 1: happy for her as she did that. You know. It's

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Speaker 1: why I try to extend the benefit of the doubt

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Speaker 1: to most people, because I think, I don't know if

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Speaker 1: there really is any difference between like, you know, people,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know what the difference is.

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Speaker 1: I don't know where the agency lies in Like everyone

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Speaker 1: is the way they are because they had some form

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Speaker 1: of conditioning from the universe. You know their parents and

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Speaker 1: the world and whatnot. And yeah, at some point you

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Speaker 1: take agency for what you believe and what you do

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Speaker 1: and all those things. Of course, the society operates under

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Speaker 1: that that at some point you take agency. But also

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Speaker 1: you know, so much of where you wind up or

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Speaker 1: if you get the chance to take that agency has

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Speaker 1: to do with, you know, just factors outside of your control.

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Speaker 1: So you know, I extend the bend for the doubt

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Speaker 1: to folks, but thank you for sharing this story. Josephine.

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Speaker 1: I think you should. I think you should be easy

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Speaker 1: on yourself, my friend. Okay, this is from a Harold

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Speaker 1: subject line. My girlfriend can't communicate. Hey, Gecko, you can

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Speaker 1: call me Harold. I'm a twenty two year old living

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Speaker 1: in Australia. I'm at a point in my life where

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Speaker 1: I need to make an important decision about my relationship.

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Speaker 1: I would love for you to give me some advice.

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Speaker 1: I've been dating my current girlfriend for almost a year,

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Speaker 1: and for the most part, it's been amazing. She's the funniest, kindest,

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Speaker 1: most beautiful girl in the world. But I feel as

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Speaker 1: if she may not be the one for me. I

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Speaker 1: consider myself a relatively emotionally intelligent person, and I love

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Speaker 1: having deep conversations, debates, and discussions about many things. I'm

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Speaker 1: a very introspective person and I love thinking about life, people, art,

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Speaker 1: and music. There's a lot going on in my head

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Speaker 1: and I love having someone to share that with. It's

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Speaker 1: why I get along with my two best friends extremely well.

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Speaker 1: We can chat about nonsense for hours and have the

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Speaker 1: best time. I need that outlet. Unfortunately, I feel as

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Speaker 1: if for someone to be my partner, I need them

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Speaker 1: to think in a similar way, and I think my

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Speaker 1: girlfriend isn't that person. Often when I try to engage

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Speaker 1: in a conversation about a specific topic with her, it

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Speaker 1: just feels like I'm info dumping my thoughts, and most

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Speaker 1: of the time she either says something along the lines

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Speaker 1: of wow, you know a lot about that or you

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Speaker 1: think a lot, instead of trying to engage back with me,

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Speaker 1: or even disagreeing with something I say, ooh, I have

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Speaker 1: a lot of thoughts about this topic. Actually, it's to

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Speaker 1: the point where I ask her about her day. She

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Speaker 1: often gives me a it was good or it was tiring,

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00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,400
Speaker 1: and then I'd have to be the one to ask

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Speaker 1: for the questions about to find out about her day,

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Speaker 1: which is exhausting. Whoa interesting And it's not like she

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Speaker 1: is losing interest in me or anything. It's just that

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Speaker 1: I don't think she has the capacity to think in

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Speaker 1: the way I think I know exactly where this guy's

396
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Speaker 1: head is. That I'm excited to talk about this. She

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00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,920
Speaker 1: loves me so much and I love her the same.

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Speaker 1: Everything outside of this is perfect in the relationship. She's

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00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 1: just really bad at communicating how she feels. Often refuses to,

400
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 1: and it's hard for her to think about things beyond

401
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,919
Speaker 1: surface level. It's not her fault, it's just who she is.

402
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:43,920
Speaker 1: But I'm starting to feel like it's not gonna work.

403
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:46,399
Speaker 1: We watch a movie together and she never wants to

404
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 1: discuss it. We listen to an album in the car together,

405
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 1: and it's always either good or bad or nothing else.

406
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Speaker 1: I ask her a hypothetical question or a philosophical question,

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Speaker 1: and she says, I don't like thinking too hard about things.

408
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:04,439
Speaker 1: I love her so much, she does so much for me.

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00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:08,880
Speaker 1: I can't bear to leave her, but I just need

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Speaker 1: more from her. Maybe I'm thinking about things too much.

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Speaker 1: I'm stuck in my head a lot. Maybe I'm just

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Speaker 1: extremely pretentious and weird. I don't know. Thanks for reading. Harold, Harold. Oh, Harold, Oh, Harold, Harold.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk, brother. So here's the thing. I know exactly

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Speaker 1: the kind of person that you are because I'm a

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00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: similar kind of person. I know exactly the kind of

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00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 1: person that your girlfriend is because I've interacted with, you know,

417
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 1: people like that before. I've had relationships with people like

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00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 1: that before. And you know, you and I are wired

419
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 1: very differently. But this is something I've thought about a lot,

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Speaker 1: and I'll tell you why, because I'm exactly like you, Harold.

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Speaker 1: You know. I mean, I'm always thinking about philosophical things.

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00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 1: I mean, I do it for a living on this podcast.

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00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: I'm always getting too deep into stuff. I'm very introspective.

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00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 1: I think a lot. I like analyzing movies, I like

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00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:17,159
Speaker 1: analyzing music. I like doing all those things. And dude,

426
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 1: you know what's funny is like, in my personal romantic search,

427
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: I've had times for me where I'm like, do you

428
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 1: know what if I'm doing this all day, if like

429
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 1: when I'm with my friends or I'm working making videos,

430
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 1: doing this, doing that, If I'm while I'm in the

431
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,159
Speaker 1: majority of my life and talking to the majority of

432
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: people and this and the other thing. If I'm introspective

433
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:54,919
Speaker 1: and this kind of analytical part of myself when I

434
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 1: come home at the end of a long day, it's

435
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 1: kind of fun fucking nice to just be with someone

436
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:09,120
Speaker 1: who wants to have simple ass, regular fucking conversations who

437
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:14,640
Speaker 1: I just love and feel good about. You know, sometimes

438
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: it's kind of fucking nice, right. I don't know if

439
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 1: you ever feel that way. I don't know if, like,

440
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:23,879
Speaker 1: because I sometimes like I've been in situation I've been

441
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,639
Speaker 1: in like relationships and situations where we're both kind of

442
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 1: like introspective talking people, and I'm like, ah, fuck, I

443
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: don't have the energy to be that version of myself

444
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 1: right now. And I and I just only have energy to, like,

445
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 1: I have the perfect amount of energy to talk to

446
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 1: somebody about if like the fucking food we're eating is

447
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 1: good or not, you know what I mean. I don't

448
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 1: know if you're like that. I don't know if you

449
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: always I don't know if you're always on like I know,

450
00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 1: I think I have a pretty good idea of the

451
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 1: kind of brain you have. I don't know if you

452
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 1: have that kind of brain. You know, twenty four hours

453
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 1: a day and I by the way. I agree with you.

454
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 1: There is nothing inherently wrong about your girlfriend being that way. Like,

455
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 1: there are just some people who are you know, have strong,

456
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:18,760
Speaker 1: crazy internal monologues and introspections, and then some people who don't.

457
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 1: And I do believe that there are successful relationships that

458
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 1: exist between those people, and all depends on what you want.

459
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: Should you break up with your girlfriend. I don't know

460
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 1: if you should break up with your girlfriend. I really

461
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, can you find this outlet for

462
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 1: you to be understood in other ways? Slowly, as I'm

463
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 1: getting older and like meeting people and dating people and

464
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 1: talking to people and doing all this stuff, like I'm

465
00:29:54,880 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 1: feeling more and more like it's not realistic for your

466
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 1: partner to be everything, you know what I mean? Like

467
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 1: you have your you have your two best friends who

468
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 1: are you have your two best friends who uh? You

469
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 1: have these kinds of relationships with right where you guys

470
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: can talk about anything and fucking like get really really

471
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 1: deep into shit and be pretentious and weird with right,

472
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 1: and like, is it the worst thing in the world that, like,

473
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 1: you know, when you go home at night and you're

474
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 1: like with your girlfriend and you guys are eating dinner.

475
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 1: You're just having like a nice little time and just

476
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: being in your like domestic life, and then you know,

477
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 1: maybe maybe when you're in the bathroom, you hit the

478
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 1: group chat with the boys and you're like, Yo, did

479
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:58,840
Speaker 1: anyone just me and fucking my girl just watched this

480
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 1: movie and ione see this movie is fucking crazy and

481
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 1: your boys are like, yeah, dude, I love that, you know,

482
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, that's not the worst

483
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 1: thing in the world. I just don't. I just think

484
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 1: the more I think about it, the older I get,

485
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 1: the more I think about it, I just think it's

486
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 1: not realistic for your partner to be everything, right, Like,

487
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 1: what relationship in your fucking life is everything? You know?

488
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 1: I feel like your your your girlfriend is like or

489
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 1: your girlfriend your boyfriend, Like they kind of feel like

490
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 1: a very specific role in your life. I mean some

491
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 1: people it's different. Some people it's like, you know, their

492
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 1: partner is like their best friend. There's some people it's like, you, dude,

493
00:31:56,080 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 1: my you know, my my my, uh, my partner is

494
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 1: my like we we're in business together, we fucking do

495
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 1: fucking everything together, best friend, uh, you know, like whatever.

496
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 1: And then some people have relationships where they their lives

497
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: are a little separate, and they meet their needs other ways.

498
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 1: My stepdad is a huge concert guy. He goes out

499
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: to concerts. He's in he's he just turned seventy. He's

500
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: going out to like fucking punk rock concerts at the

501
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 1: at the Auto Bar downtown. Uh, my mom stays home,

502
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 1: you know. Uh, they have a great relationship, you know,

503
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 1: they they they do their own things. They fill their

504
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 1: needs in other ways. Like, you know, it's the I don't.

505
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 1: I just think it's like unrealistic to expect that your

506
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 1: partner will have everything, because here's what's here's the thing, man,

507
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 1: like you, you find another girl who can have that

508
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 1: kind of dialogue with you, but a you might get

509
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 1: home after you might get home after a long ass

510
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: day and be like, oh fuck, you know, I actually

511
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 1: don't really feel like having a philosophical conversation right now.

512
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 1: And then your girlfriend's gonna be like, what the fuck

513
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,640
Speaker 1: I wanted a guy who has a philosophical conversation? You know,

514
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 1: maybe maybe maybe you meet dude. Maybe you meet like

515
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 1: an introspective, uh super like smart, pretentious girl who communicates

516
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 1: very well. Maybe you exhaust her, you know what I mean. Like,

517
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 1: there's so many factors. Maybe you meet this girl, maybe

518
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 1: you guys really connect on that level, but like whatever

519
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 1: like comfort or sauce you feel with this current girl,

520
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 1: like that's not present in her right. So you got

521
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 1: to decide for yourself what you want to make your

522
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 1: where where you're happy to make your concessions. It sounds

523
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 1: like from the way you've written this email, it sounds

524
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: like this is a place you don't want to make

525
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:24,399
Speaker 1: a concession. But think about it, dude, really really think

526
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 1: about it, you know, because you're you don't want you

527
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 1: because at a certain point you have to understand that

528
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 1: dating and relationships are like it's fucking whack them mole, dude,

529
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:43,720
Speaker 1: like whatever you like, Like you look at the person

530
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 1: you're fucking dating and you're like, oh fuck I like

531
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,840
Speaker 1: all this stuff. I don't like that stuff. And then okay,

532
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:52,359
Speaker 1: maybe leave you go find someone else. You're gonna be like, oh,

533
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:53,839
Speaker 1: well shit, they don't have the thing that I liked

534
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:55,799
Speaker 1: about the other person. Even though they have this thing,

535
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 1: it's just gonna be whack them mole. So kind of

536
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:05,320
Speaker 1: you have to decide what your concessions are and then

537
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 1: move forward with you know, what you're willing to put

538
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:14,879
Speaker 1: up with. But yeah, those are my thoughts, Harold, those

539
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 1: are my thoughts. I really yeah, I truly do believe that.

540
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 1: I don't think your partner can be like everything. That's

541
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 1: a lot to add. It's like asking your like, you know,

542
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:29,879
Speaker 1: even like your fucking parents, like they're not everything your

543
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,799
Speaker 1: friends are like, no relationship in your life is meant

544
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 1: I think to be cover every single one of your bases,

545
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 1: and no human being can you know if you can

546
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 1: find if you can find a relationship where your partner

547
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 1: is as many things as they can possibly be, and

548
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:53,480
Speaker 1: they can be a lot of things and fulfill a

549
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 1: lot of different roles in your life, you're very, very

550
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:08,399
Speaker 1: very lucky. But I don't know if that's most people chat.

551
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 1: Tell me what you chat, Tell me what you think

552
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:11,880
Speaker 1: about that. I'm curious. I want to I want to

553
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:16,320
Speaker 1: know people's opinions on everything I just said. I'm curious

554
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 1: what people have to say. Hit me up in the

555
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:25,399
Speaker 1: Spotify comments section with your thoughts on all that shit.

556
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 1: I'm curious what the people have to say. All right,

557
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 1: this is from someone. This is from a person a

558
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:49,239
Speaker 1: new login on Chrome from Mac. Okay, that's not me

559
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 1: or that is me? I don't know why I said.

560
00:36:53,160 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 1: This is not me. Uh hold on, We're gonna do it.

561
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:07,280
Speaker 1: We're gonna find someone, all right. This is from uh

562
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:15,319
Speaker 1: Midwest Tina, Hey gek. My last two years have been

563
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 1: a rough transition after I came out as a lesbian,

564
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 1: moved a few hours away to another state, and in

565
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 1: the process found out my mutual friends with my ex

566
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:32,240
Speaker 1: husband were not so mutual after all. Having your podcast

567
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,720
Speaker 1: to listen to has been really important to my mental

568
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 1: health and not feeling so alone. Thank you, Tina. My

569
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,920
Speaker 1: ex husband alienated me from all of my individual friends

570
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 1: until we only had mutual ones. That's tough. That's tough.

571
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,720
Speaker 1: It has now been over two years since the divorce,

572
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:53,440
Speaker 1: with me sadly realizing all those friends were not actually

573
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 1: my friends. This isn't the first time I've had to

574
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 1: start over. And I'm about the same age as you.

575
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 1: I'm turning thirty this year. I grew up in a

576
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 1: restrictive cult environment that centered around young Earth creationism. Okay,

577
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 1: we got a theme going on today. It is a

578
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:16,240
Speaker 1: set of strict Christian beliefs. For example, I was taught

579
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:20,239
Speaker 1: the Earth was only seven thousand years old, that dinosaur

580
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 1: bones were placed by God in order to give scientists

581
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:27,759
Speaker 1: something to do. And I did not even know what

582
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,839
Speaker 1: the theory of evolution was until I looked it up

583
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:34,920
Speaker 1: at my own, on my own, at seventeen. Fucking crazy.

584
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,879
Speaker 1: So when I left home at seventeen, I also left

585
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 1: behind my whole community. My school was run by the church,

586
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,440
Speaker 1: and I literally didn't know anyone who was an atheist

587
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 1: until I was sixteen. I adopted the title of atheist

588
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 1: for myself by age twenty two. All of that leads

589
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,480
Speaker 1: me to another benefit I have found from listening to you.

590
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 1: My social skills were significantly stunted because of that upbringing,

591
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 1: and I have always found it easy to start conversations

592
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 1: with people, but I have a hard time continuing conversations

593
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 1: if I have to carry them. I find making new

594
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 1: friends very difficult. I am on a waiting list for

595
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: autism testing three years. Here, you've been on a waiting

596
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:20,360
Speaker 1: list for autism testing for three years. I feel like

597
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 1: you can just go. I feel like you can just

598
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 1: go find like A. I feel like I get a

599
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:30,839
Speaker 1: lot of like banner ads for tests that will tell

600
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:34,400
Speaker 1: you if you're autistic within like five minutes of answering

601
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 1: a cute a couple questions, like where they show you

602
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:40,840
Speaker 1: like a fucking rectangle with a bunch of rectangles inside

603
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 1: of it, and they're like how many rectangles are in

604
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 1: this rectangle? Type of shit. I don't know how accurate

605
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 1: those tests are, but at least you know you'll get

606
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 1: them faster than whatever the thing is you've been waiting

607
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 1: three years for. Social cues are not the easiest for

608
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 1: me either. Listening to the way to conduct conversations and

609
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 1: carry them when the other person isn't giving you a

610
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,320
Speaker 1: lot to work with has given has been one of

611
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,719
Speaker 1: the more helpful things for me in trying to learn

612
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:10,479
Speaker 1: and practice social skills. I honestly cannot say thanks enough

613
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,640
Speaker 1: for modeling a great way of interacting with people that

614
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 1: you may not have much in common with, and I

615
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 1: feel a lot more confident in my follow up question

616
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 1: skills because of listening to you for years. Thank you,

617
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,879
Speaker 1: Gek Midwest Tina, Thank you Tina. This is a really

618
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 1: sweet email. I appreciate you. I'm sorry about this. Like

619
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:31,280
Speaker 1: friend group thing good news and bad news. Bad news

620
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,799
Speaker 1: is you made a mistake, and the mistake was that

621
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 1: you mixed see this kind of bro This piggybacks a

622
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:44,120
Speaker 1: little bit onto what I was saying about, like your

623
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:48,280
Speaker 1: partner being everything like in this person's you know example,

624
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 1: like their partner was also like their husband was like

625
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:55,319
Speaker 1: a member of their friend group, which is also kind

626
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 1: of like a whole ass thing, like when you guys

627
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: share friends. You know that. I mean, everything in life

628
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 1: comes with pros and cons, right, like sharing sharing friends

629
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,880
Speaker 1: with your husband can be a very beautiful thing, like

630
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 1: you know, really makes you feel like you're in a

631
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:16,800
Speaker 1: fucking tribe, you know. But you know, the more beautiful

632
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 1: something is, the worse it is when it gets fucking

633
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:25,360
Speaker 1: ripped apart and shit. So I'm sorry you made that error.

634
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:29,440
Speaker 1: The good news is is that you know you're you

635
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:34,839
Speaker 1: can easily go make a new group of friends. I'm

636
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 1: not gonna talk about the whole process of doing that

637
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 1: because we've covered it so much in this podcast already,

638
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 1: but uh, go make another group of friends. You moved

639
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 1: to another state. You're figuring out for yourself better how

640
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:56,719
Speaker 1: to have good social interactions. I think I think you're

641
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 1: gonna be okay. I think this is a good I

642
00:41:58,440 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 1: actually think this is good. I feel like this is

643
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 1: like it's good that you know that your friends were

644
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:06,839
Speaker 1: not really your friends. And you're only thirty and there's

645
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,280
Speaker 1: so many opportunities for you to go and make new friends.

646
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:13,400
Speaker 1: So go out and make some new friends, Midwest Tina,

647
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 1: and go go to a different waiting list for autism testing.

648
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 1: There's no way, there's no way. There's just one place,

649
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:27,760
Speaker 1: and you have to wait three years for it. Go go,

650
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 1: go take go, take like a Facebook quiz or something

651
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 1: like that, or or just or just or just you know,

652
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 1: or just decide for yourself whatever you are. I don't know.

653
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 1: That's not medical advice, but just just just you know what,

654
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:48,360
Speaker 1: you know what, Tina, Just decide that you're Tina. Just

655
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:53,279
Speaker 1: decide that you're Tina, and you're a good person and

656
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 1: you're gonna go make a lot of friends. Just decide

657
00:42:56,440 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: that and and and execute your execute the will of

658
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 1: your own identity upon the universe. Midwest Tina. I believe

659
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 1: in you. Okay. This is from KerPlunk subject line the

660
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 1: desire to be human again is overwhelming me. Hey Gek.

661
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:23,759
Speaker 1: Before I start with the topic, I want to say

662
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:25,799
Speaker 1: I greatly appreciate you and your show. I've been an

663
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 1: avid listener since twenty twenty three. Your show has helped

664
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 1: me find new perspectives on some topics and provide entertainment

665
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:33,800
Speaker 1: while I'm at work, school, or on a long drive.

666
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 1: Thanks for being you. Thank you. As of November twenty

667
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:42,319
Speaker 1: twenty fifth, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Since Grade one,

668
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:45,560
Speaker 1: I've known I've had dyslexia. The school caught onto it

669
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,920
Speaker 1: decently soon and put me in the SPED classes up

670
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,439
Speaker 1: until middle school, where they stopped putting me in them.

671
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:55,120
Speaker 1: But over the years I've had a sneaking suspicion that

672
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 1: I might have more than just dyslexia. I've had a

673
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 1: lot of behaviors and habits that didn't really fit the

674
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:09,360
Speaker 1: dyslexic narratives. Excessive stemming, forgetfulness, impatience, rapid and excessive thoughts,

675
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 1: just to name a few. I put off getting tested

676
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 1: until I turned eighteen in September, where I could finally

677
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 1: make my own doctor's appointments and pay for the sessions.

678
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 1: By November, it was made official. I have ADHD. I

679
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:24,919
Speaker 1: got tested not only to get peace of mind knowing

680
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 1: exactly what's wrong with me, but also to try out

681
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 1: some medication for it. Since the start of twenty twenty six,

682
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 1: I started taking Vivance, which was the first stimulant drug

683
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:38,400
Speaker 1: I've taken. Never heard of it, No, I'm just kidding

684
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 1: by Vance's awesome. Within the first week of taking it,

685
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 1: it awoke this motivation within me to get back into

686
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:48,160
Speaker 1: the hobbies I used to enjoy, and even some that

687
00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 1: I got very hyper fixated on for a month and

688
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 1: then dropped for added context. I am also have depression

689
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:00,160
Speaker 1: and anxiety, and because of this I was quick to

690
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,920
Speaker 1: be my harshest critic on anything I do. I used

691
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: to love drawing. Anytime someone asked me what I do

692
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,200
Speaker 1: for fun, my go to answer was always drawing. It

693
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 1: was easy for me to get lost into the flow state.

694
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:13,840
Speaker 1: I loved seeing an idea come together where at the

695
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,400
Speaker 1: end I can look back and be happy with the result.

696
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 1: But two or three years ago, my idea on art

697
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 1: was kind of shifted into this needs to look perfect

698
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:25,240
Speaker 1: or else it's not worth finishing. I would often compare

699
00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 1: my skill level to others around me and on those

700
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 1: on social media. I started to hate drawing because I

701
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,879
Speaker 1: couldn't get it to look right, and anything I put

702
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 1: out never looked anywhere near as good as what people

703
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,880
Speaker 1: around me would draw. Any time I tried to draw,

704
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 1: my mind would start racing with these self deprecating thoughts,

705
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,520
Speaker 1: and anytime I hit a roadblock where I couldn't get

706
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 1: something to look right, I'd give up, thinking I'm just

707
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 1: not cut out for this and I will never be

708
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 1: good at it. Something that once brought me joy and

709
00:45:55,239 --> 00:46:00,120
Speaker 1: peace turned into constant self deprecation and hating myself for

710
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 1: my lack of talent. Since last year, I wanted to

711
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 1: get back into drawing and learning to build my skills,

712
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:10,239
Speaker 1: but anytime I tried, the thoughts kept rushing back and

713
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 1: I'd quickly lose motivation again, which then led to a

714
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 1: lot of ADHD paralysis. I felt stuck. I wanted to

715
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 1: enjoy something again and learn new skills, but usually ended

716
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 1: up doing nothing. Because of these overwhelming feelings of failure,

717
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 1: ADHD paralysis quickly became my default. My day would consist

718
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:33,359
Speaker 1: of getting bored wanting to do something, but I can't

719
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 1: bring myself to start. It felt like sandpaper screeping against

720
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:40,840
Speaker 1: my brain. But like I said earlier, since I started

721
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 1: taking Vivance, I've almost completely lost this feeling and regained

722
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 1: the motivation to do stuff again. I swear on my

723
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 1: life By the way, Sorry, this is me talking, but

724
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 1: I sware in my life this is not just an

725
00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:56,359
Speaker 1: advertisement for vivants, although I do love I mean, yeah,

726
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,480
Speaker 1: stimulants are great. There's more to this email. I'll read

727
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:01,320
Speaker 1: the rest of it, but yeah, I mean, stimulants are sick.

728
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 1: I don't know. Don't listen, dude, I do a podcast.

729
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 1: Don't fucking listen to what I have to say about medication.

730
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:09,920
Speaker 1: Talk to your doctor. It feels great getting excited to

731
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 1: try something new. I feel like a little kid in

732
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:15,919
Speaker 1: the sense that I'm excited to try something new. I've

733
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:18,840
Speaker 1: regained the desire and confidence to be creative again. I

734
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:20,759
Speaker 1: can see what the world is offering me and what

735
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 1: I can offer the world. I feel fantastic. But there's

736
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 1: a catch. It is true, by the way, this is

737
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 1: exactly what vivance feels like. It makes you feel like

738
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 1: optimistic about life and shit. Okay, but there is a catch, apparently.

739
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 1: What is the catch? Imagine all the hobbies you've ever

740
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 1: had or still have. Imagine locking them all into a

741
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 1: closet to be stored away for years. You randomly get

742
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 1: bored and decide to open that closet door again and

743
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:52,839
Speaker 1: revisit some of these activities, but you're immediately bombarded with

744
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 1: a bunch of options. That's how I feel right now.

745
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 1: There's so much I want to do in so little time. Okay,

746
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:03,880
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna skip the rest of

747
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 1: this email except the very end where they go hail

748
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:11,279
Speaker 1: boognish that's a reference to the band Ween. And I'm

749
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:14,320
Speaker 1: gonna say to this person, listen, just do just. You

750
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:18,880
Speaker 1: got like just you gotta a lot of these folks.

751
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, listen, you gotta get over yourself. You gotta

752
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:28,520
Speaker 1: get over yourself, my friend, Kurplunk, you gotta get over yourself, KerPlunk,

753
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 1: You gotta get over yourself, Kurpplunk, Just get over yourself.

754
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 1: Just do something, Do something, KerPlunk, Please just pick something,

755
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 1: you know, and I I gotta get over myself too.

756
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 1: We all gotta get over ourselves. Just pick something, please.

757
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:49,759
Speaker 1: No like like running around being like should I do

758
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 1: this or should I do this? Or should I do

759
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:52,480
Speaker 1: this or should I do this? Just like you're just

760
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,879
Speaker 1: you're stop stressing. You're stressing me out. Stop stressing. Stop sush,

761
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 1: stop stop stressing yourself out. Kerk Plunk, it's okay. First

762
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 1: of all, Kurplunk, I am extremely happy for you that

763
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:06,000
Speaker 1: you found vibance. I went through a crazy period of

764
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:07,879
Speaker 1: a lot of the stuff that you're talking about, and

765
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 1: vibance is part of what helped me get out of

766
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 1: it as well. But like, just pick something, Kurplunk, and

767
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 1: just do it. I don't have a good thing for

768
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:25,160
Speaker 1: you except the Nike. Just do it, so stop like

769
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:31,319
Speaker 1: artificially freaking yourself out and just pick something and do it.

770
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 1: You're over complicating yourself and your life, you know, So

771
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 1: all right, I'll read a little bit of the rest

772
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:42,840
Speaker 1: of the email. I know realistically I don't have to

773
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 1: do all these things at once, but it feels overwhelming

774
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:46,480
Speaker 1: having to choose what I want to spend my time on.

775
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 1: Don't don't let it overwhelm you. How old are you?

776
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 1: Do you have terminal cancer? You're in your twenties. I'm

777
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 1: gonna assume you have plenty of time to do all

778
00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:00,480
Speaker 1: the things you want to do. Maybe I die, but

779
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:05,600
Speaker 1: I don't know. Just do something. I don't know. That's

780
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:10,000
Speaker 1: my advice. Just do something, Kripplunk. I'm happy for you.

781
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 1: I'm happy for you that you've gotten back your motivation

782
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 1: to do stuff, but just stop psyching yourself out. I

783
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:18,239
Speaker 1: know it's people are getting get mad at me. I

784
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 1: know it's easier said than done, but this you guys

785
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:27,279
Speaker 1: gotta get over yourself and just pick something. Thank you

786
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:34,240
Speaker 1: for listening to the show. Kriplunk. Just do something, do anything,

787
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 1: don't kill anyone, do one of your things. All right,

788
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:49,320
Speaker 1: let's read a few more. This is from Ariel subject line.

789
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 1: I lived with my schizophrenic grandmother for over a year,

790
00:50:54,680 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 1: hey gek in twenty twenty four. My schizophrenic, dementia riddled

791
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:06,719
Speaker 1: grandmother mother lived with me and my family. Schizophrenia and

792
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 1: dementia combined is a lethal combo, so she basically lived

793
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:16,400
Speaker 1: in her own separate reality. We constantly had music playing

794
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 1: on a Google home to keep her occupied. She would

795
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 1: dance for hours daily and talk directly into the speaker

796
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 1: in an attempt to communicate with the musicians. Since she

797
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:32,920
Speaker 1: was a narcissist, she was convinced they all wanted to

798
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:36,960
Speaker 1: date her and were living next door to us. There

799
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 1: were many times that I had to stop her from

800
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 1: trying to leave for a date with Neil Diamond. You'd

801
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:47,240
Speaker 1: think it would be easy to prevent a seventy pound

802
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:51,799
Speaker 1: eighty six year old woman with cataracts from escaping, but

803
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:56,840
Speaker 1: she was surprisingly cunning. Every day she would criticize me

804
00:51:57,080 --> 00:52:01,000
Speaker 1: for walking around the house naked because she couldn't see

805
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:05,360
Speaker 1: that I was wearing clothes. She also accused my step

806
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 1: brother of having sex with his dog, which I personally

807
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:12,920
Speaker 1: thought was very funny. He did not. I have a

808
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:15,799
Speaker 1: ton of stories about her I'd love to share. If

809
00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 1: you're interested, I can call in some time. Sincerely, Ariel,

810
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:27,840
Speaker 1: thank you for sharing this, Ariel, I don't why not

811
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:31,320
Speaker 1: let her go out with Neil Diamond? Why not pretend?

812
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 1: Why not? Shit? Man eighty six? You know what sucks?

813
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 1: Is like, I just know that I'm not. I don't

814
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 1: want to make fun of this woman because I got

815
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:49,320
Speaker 1: Oh my god, i I've got like not a crazy

816
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:52,520
Speaker 1: amount of years until I'm that woman. What I could be?

817
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 1: I could be this woman. I could be that woman

818
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 1: in fifty years. I mean I smoke weed every day.

819
00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:59,279
Speaker 1: It's I could I could be this woman in my

820
00:53:00,239 --> 00:53:06,200
Speaker 1: forties if I keep up my lifestyle. Now, this is

821
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:09,280
Speaker 1: just how it ends for everyone, not everyone. I see.

822
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:12,759
Speaker 1: I see this ending for me, and I'm actually kind

823
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 1: of soothed by this because if I just start, if

824
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:25,240
Speaker 1: I like schizophrenic and dementia, this woman is hallucinating slowly

825
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:31,640
Speaker 1: to death rights like, and that's I'm sure. I don't

826
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:34,319
Speaker 1: know what does that feel like? I really want to

827
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:36,480
Speaker 1: know if anyone knows, let me know, if anyone's like

828
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 1: as a doctor or something. I'm on an airplane and

829
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, does anyone here a doctor? I want to

830
00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:49,839
Speaker 1: know what it feels like to go insane. I don't know.

831
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 1: Maybe it's not the worst way to go right, slowly

832
00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:00,279
Speaker 1: losing your mind, because if I were like, like I

833
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:03,520
Speaker 1: saw a fucking a video of Dick van Dyck and

834
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 1: he's one hundred years old and he's he's sharp, you

835
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:09,320
Speaker 1: know he's there, or like you see like Bernie Sanders,

836
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:14,600
Speaker 1: he's fucking eighty three eighty four, he's sharpest shit still

837
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:19,040
Speaker 1: very like cognisance, right, I feel like that'd be scary

838
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 1: because if I'm really cognizant and I'm in my eighties,

839
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:25,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, shit, I don't have that much longer until

840
00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 1: this is all over, right, I think I'd be I

841
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:30,279
Speaker 1: think I'd get two in my head and I'd be

842
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 1: just like afraid of the oblivion that I'm about to enter.

843
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 1: But if I'm eighty six and I'm just like, you know,

844
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:43,719
Speaker 1: my grandchildren have to physically stop me from trying to

845
00:54:43,719 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 1: go out on a date with fucking Taylor Swift or whatever.

846
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:54,000
Speaker 1: I wish I had a funnier one than Taylor Swift.

847
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:56,920
Speaker 1: But no, if I'm rid of with the menshow who

848
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 1: do I want to go out on a date with.

849
00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:07,640
Speaker 1: I can't think of anyone. If if my grandchildren to

850
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,160
Speaker 1: stop me from going out on a date with Lady Gaga,

851
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:12,839
Speaker 1: I think that that's good. That's how I'd like to die.

852
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:16,719
Speaker 1: I think that's how i'd like to go. So I'm

853
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 1: glad that your grandmother is at least enjoying. I hope

854
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:30,279
Speaker 1: she's enjoying the reality that she's in. I mean, she's watching, uh,

855
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:34,160
Speaker 1: your stepbrother have sex with the dog. That's a little freaky.

856
00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:41,919
Speaker 1: But you know, I wouldn't. I personally wouldn't mind at

857
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:46,800
Speaker 1: that age living in my own separate reality before dying,

858
00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to. Let I think being that way

859
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 1: for like six years would suck. But like, if I

860
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 1: could spend the last year, I'd like to spend the

861
00:55:55,880 --> 00:56:00,359
Speaker 1: last year like okay, eighty five years old. I say

862
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 1: bye to my children, and then I press a button

863
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:10,320
Speaker 1: and then I get to do one year fully dement

864
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:15,080
Speaker 1: shut out, and then that's like kind of my transition

865
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:20,359
Speaker 1: into the afterlife. I would do that, but I don't

866
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:23,400
Speaker 1: know if I get to choose. Let's see, do we

867
00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:26,120
Speaker 1: have time for one more? I think we have time

868
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 1: for at least one more? U, blue Bonnet, Hi, Gecko man,

869
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:39,000
Speaker 1: you can call me blue Bonnet. My friends ditched me

870
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:42,239
Speaker 1: on my birthday. I would like to first start this

871
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:44,279
Speaker 1: email by saying I love your podcast and I've been

872
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:46,839
Speaker 1: listening for a while now. I'm twenty three years old

873
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,440
Speaker 1: in Texas and I'm about to graduate college. I was

874
00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:51,720
Speaker 1: going to tell you the story and how my feelings

875
00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:54,359
Speaker 1: were hurt and how my mental health has deteriorated due

876
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:56,840
Speaker 1: to my friend group of ten plus years ditching me

877
00:56:56,880 --> 00:57:02,520
Speaker 1: on my birthday. But I just listened to your most

878
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:07,320
Speaker 1: recent podcast with the girl talking about her friendship breakup,

879
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:10,000
Speaker 1: and your advice inspired me to try to get over it.

880
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 1: I don't need to surround myself with people that can't

881
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 1: show up when I need them to. It still bothers me,

882
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:16,880
Speaker 1: but I think I have to let time tickets. Course,

883
00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 1: I will say writing down the story really helped me out.

884
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:21,960
Speaker 1: I hope you're doing well. Can't wait to see you

885
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:27,160
Speaker 1: in Austin. PS. I apologize for honey potting you about

886
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:31,800
Speaker 1: the story. I don't think you know. I mean okay.

887
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:37,080
Speaker 1: First of all, congratulations, I fully believe. I mean dude, like,

888
00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:45,000
Speaker 1: I'm a big motherfucking abundance mindset guy. That's what they

889
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,880
Speaker 1: call it, abundance mindset. I think you should go get

890
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:50,439
Speaker 1: some new friends, first of all. Second of all, that's

891
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:55,800
Speaker 1: not what honeypotting means. Honey Potting is when you like

892
00:57:57,280 --> 00:58:02,680
Speaker 1: seduce someone sexually so that you can get government secrets

893
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:08,160
Speaker 1: from them. I don't think that's what you were doing.

894
00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 1: Maybe if I read the email again, maybe if I

895
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 1: read it backwards, maybe if I translated it to Portuguese

896
00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:16,960
Speaker 1: and read it again, I'd get a different I'd get

897
00:58:17,040 --> 00:58:20,320
Speaker 1: that vibe. But this email as it is, I'm not

898
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:26,040
Speaker 1: getting that vibe. That's what you're doing. No, I'm stoked. Yeah,

899
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:28,120
Speaker 1: don't live in the past, brother, you're fucking twenty three.

900
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:35,000
Speaker 1: Just fucking go make some new friends Texas, Austin. Go

901
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:40,960
Speaker 1: hang out at a bluegrass show and talk to people

902
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 1: about blue grass. That was a bad specific suggestion, But

903
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,919
Speaker 1: you know what I'm trying to say. All right, let's

904
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:53,000
Speaker 1: do one more. Should we do one more? Let's do

905
00:58:53,080 --> 00:59:04,360
Speaker 1: one more. Let's see, Yeah, if I can find one

906
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:16,440
Speaker 1: more to read? Okay. Um. This is from Peter subject

907
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:21,840
Speaker 1: line nasty duality. Hey, Gecko, you can call me lizard.

908
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:24,720
Speaker 1: I hope you are doing all right and everything like that.

909
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:28,200
Speaker 1: The problem is that I'm an average Joe. I have

910
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:31,440
Speaker 1: good friends, family, etc. I'm doing okay in life, but

911
00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:33,560
Speaker 1: there's a little part of me that thinks it's all fake,

912
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:38,160
Speaker 1: like I'm pretending just to fit in with others like

913
00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 1: my friend's family. Normally I'm fine, but I feel like

914
00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 1: there would always be a part of myself that haunts

915
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:47,920
Speaker 1: the real me. I'm working on fixing it myself, but

916
00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:51,840
Speaker 1: I would appreciate any tips on improvement. I know I

917
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:55,920
Speaker 1: might sound corny, but to better explain the situation, just

918
00:59:56,000 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 1: search the phrase a person has three faces on Google.

919
01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:11,800
Speaker 1: A person has three faces? Uh oh okay. The concept

920
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 1: of three faces is a Japanese proverb describing the different

921
01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:23,000
Speaker 1: personas individuals adopt. It suggests the first face is shown

922
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:27,760
Speaker 1: to the world public polite, the second to friends and family,

923
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 1: and the third is the true, hidden self, known only

924
01:00:33,320 --> 01:00:40,880
Speaker 1: to one's self. I actually, in many ways agree with

925
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 1: this proverb. But I also in many ways, and I've

926
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:48,120
Speaker 1: talked about this a bunch on the show, but I'll

927
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:55,560
Speaker 1: reiterate it, I don't believe I believe that, Yeah, like that. Sure,

928
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:57,680
Speaker 1: maybe all of them are like different, but I don't

929
01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:03,520
Speaker 1: believe in ranking different versions of yourself, uh, based on truth,

930
01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 1: you know, I don't. I really don't believe in that. Obviously,

931
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:10,479
Speaker 1: there's like lots of different sides of yourself. There's sides

932
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:16,720
Speaker 1: of yourself that are brought out by situations and people

933
01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:21,280
Speaker 1: and emotions, and you know, kind of like the one

934
01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:23,720
Speaker 1: plus one equals three type of shit where it's like

935
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:28,320
Speaker 1: you and then some something external to yourself can create

936
01:01:28,360 --> 01:01:34,160
Speaker 1: a new thing. You know. There's your thoughts, there's your feelings.

937
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 1: There's you when you're alone, there's you when you're in public,

938
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:38,600
Speaker 1: you with your mom, you with your friends, you with

939
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:42,120
Speaker 1: your girlfriend, you with your dog, you when you're reading

940
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:45,400
Speaker 1: a comment on Reddit. All these us, Yes, I understand,

941
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:52,000
Speaker 1: but I heavily, heavily, heavily am against ranking them on

942
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 1: truth because at the end of the day, they're all you.

943
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:02,720
Speaker 1: They're all something that you did during the timeline of

944
01:02:02,760 --> 01:02:09,800
Speaker 1: your existence on the earth, and they're all equally true.

945
01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:13,560
Speaker 1: You know, I don't believe in different versions of the

946
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:22,600
Speaker 1: self inherently needing to interact with the cut each other

947
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:27,040
Speaker 1: or contradict each other. I believe that they each kind

948
01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:32,040
Speaker 1: of stand on their own particular ground. So I would

949
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:35,960
Speaker 1: I would stop trying to I would stop feeling like

950
01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 1: you're being haunted by this so called real version of yourself,

951
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:44,680
Speaker 1: and I would just accept that you are a complex,

952
01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:52,440
Speaker 1: multi dimensional, unsolved human being as the humans as humanity

953
01:02:53,160 --> 01:03:00,520
Speaker 1: and consciousness and personality, and the brain remains unsolved. Okay,

954
01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 1: you're unsolved, You're complex, you're intangible, and so there is

955
01:03:07,640 --> 01:03:14,240
Speaker 1: no real you. It's all just you. So instead of

956
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 1: feeling as though there's some deep sense of contrast, uh,

957
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:21,760
Speaker 1: just embrace the unity of your existence in all parts.

958
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:25,760
Speaker 1: All right, I think we did it. I think we

959
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:28,040
Speaker 1: did a gakmail. What do you guys think? I think

960
01:03:28,040 --> 01:03:33,160
Speaker 1: we did a gak mail. My name is Lyle. Thank

961
01:03:33,200 --> 01:03:35,560
Speaker 1: you guys for listening. If you want to send an email,

962
01:03:35,600 --> 01:03:39,640
Speaker 1: send me an email at therapy geckomail at gmail dot com.

963
01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:43,560
Speaker 1: And please, folks, please please, I am going on tour.

964
01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:47,800
Speaker 1: I am going on tour to thirty cities, and I

965
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:53,280
Speaker 1: will say all of them right now. I hope you

966
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:56,240
Speaker 1: can't hear my stupid icemaker ice machine in the back. Okay.

967
01:03:57,200 --> 01:04:01,360
Speaker 1: Go to therapy geckotour dot com or check the link

968
01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:05,960
Speaker 1: in the episode description to see me and get tickets

969
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:22,640
Speaker 1: at one of these cities. San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Minneapolis, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Charlotte, Madison, Detroit, Bloomington, Chicago, Atlanta, Nashville, DC, Philly,

970
01:04:22,960 --> 01:04:29,920
Speaker 1: New York, Boston, Toronto, Lansing, Michigan, Grand Rapids, Montreal, Vegas,

971
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:37,000
Speaker 1: Salt Lake City, Denver, Phoenix, Austin, New Orleans, and Anchorage, Alaska.

972
01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:42,120
Speaker 1: Excited for that one. Thank you folks for listening. Please

973
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:46,480
Speaker 1: go to therapy geckotour dot com. Tell your friends, tell

974
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:51,120
Speaker 1: your enemies. I'm gonna get out of here. Thank you

975
01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:53,040
Speaker 1: guys very much for listening. It means a lot to me.

976
01:04:53,120 --> 01:04:57,040
Speaker 1: That fuck man. Soon soon it'll be six years of

977
01:04:57,120 --> 01:05:01,360
Speaker 1: doing this podcast. Can you guys believe it? Six motherfucking years,

978
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:05,200
Speaker 1: it's not yet, it's soon, but it's kind of amazing

979
01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:06,920
Speaker 1: to me that we're still here, we're still doing this.

980
01:05:06,960 --> 01:05:08,760
Speaker 1: So thank you guys for being on this journey with

981
01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:13,439
Speaker 1: me and get bless you all. Talk to you guys

982
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:17,800
Speaker 1: again soon. Bye bye week and goes on the line

983
01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:21,520
Speaker 1: taking your phone calls every night. The beacon goes, do

984
01:05:21,640 --> 01:05:23,480
Speaker 1: what to ride? You're just teaching you a loud in

985
01:05:23,560 --> 01:05:27,000
Speaker 1: the memory of life. Money's not really an expert.