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Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your go Cheeky's and you've reached the

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Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you

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Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you're going through a breakup, maybe you're.

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Speaker 1: Having issues with your family, or maybe you need help

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Speaker 1: figuring out how to balance your checkbook or how to

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Speaker 1: start a business, whatever the cases, I want to hear

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Speaker 1: from you. Remember these are my thoughts and opinions, and

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Speaker 1: if you're suffering from an issue or hardship, you should

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Speaker 1: seek help from a qualified professional. All right, Now, go

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Speaker 1: ahead and leave your question at the sound of the beat.

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Speaker 2: Hi Cheeky's.

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Speaker 3: My name is Esmeralda. I need some advice. So I've

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Speaker 3: been seeing this guy for quite a while now, and

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Speaker 3: he did tell me since the beginning. He does have

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Speaker 3: son in Mexico, which I love to death. Like we

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Speaker 3: talked to him like every every day, making sure he's okay.

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Speaker 3: But the thing is is his baby mama. I feel

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Speaker 3: like she's the has feelings for him when he doesn't,

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Speaker 3: like he's just you know, calling her for her for

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Speaker 3: his son basically, but I feel like she's just trying

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Speaker 3: to like get his attention or like trying to like

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Speaker 3: separate us, like like she started talking shit about me,

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Speaker 3: which kind of set me because I, like I never

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Speaker 3: said anything to her like I respect her like as

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Speaker 3: his baby mama. So what advice can you give me,

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Speaker 3: like how to like deal with the situation, Like do

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Speaker 3: I talk to him, you know, have like a civil

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Speaker 3: conversation with you know, the both of them, so we

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Speaker 3: can have like peace, not just for like us. But

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Speaker 3: let's say, you know.

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Speaker 1: All right, is maral dum. Yeah, I know how tough

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Speaker 1: that is. I dealt with a few baby mamas. They

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Speaker 1: weren't very nice to me, but now I get along

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Speaker 1: with one of them very well. Actually, uh anyways, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so you have to understand you chose a man that

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Speaker 1: has a son and that has a baby mama, and

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Speaker 1: you're just gonna have to roll with the punches. I

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Speaker 1: think you're just gonna have to put your ego to

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Speaker 1: the side and let her fight with herself, because if

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Speaker 1: you don't, what's always going to win, especially if the

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Speaker 1: son is young, is is his son. You know, he

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Speaker 1: has to give you your place, your your you know,

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Speaker 1: your boyfriend has to do his part and give you

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Speaker 1: your place. If she's talking crap, then he needs to

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Speaker 1: set his foot down and say, hey, that's my girl.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna deal with this disrespect or you're trying

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Speaker 1: to flirt with me like he needs to do his part,

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Speaker 1: but you, as the girlfriend, you're gonna have to bite

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Speaker 1: your tongue not engage because it'll just cause you more issues.

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Speaker 1: And baby mamas have a power that I did not understand,

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Speaker 1: and it's just something that they're kind of always gonna

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Speaker 1: be there and we have to understand that and accept

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Speaker 1: that unless you let go of that relationship and find

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Speaker 1: yourself someone that has no kids. Here's the thing. You

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Speaker 1: need to let her dry out. If you continue, and

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Speaker 1: if you want to fight with her, it's gonna continue.

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Speaker 2: It's going to continue.

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Speaker 1: But if you dry her out and she sees that

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Speaker 1: she can't get a reaction from you, she's gonna get

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Speaker 1: bored and she's'll be like, Okay, well, whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: what it is, they're still together. She'll get over it eventually.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying it'll happen tomorrow or the next day,

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Speaker 1: earn a month. It'll take some time, but eventually she'll

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Speaker 1: dry out. But definitely always think of the sun he

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Speaker 1: is the priority and he needs to see that. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I know how my mom is and she's doing this

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Speaker 1: and she's doing that, and she says this, but he

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Speaker 1: also needs to see that you don't, so that there's

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Speaker 1: a very fine line there and you just have to,

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Speaker 1: like I said, row with the punches. You have to

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Speaker 1: just let it be, ride the wave, ignore her, ignore

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Speaker 1: her as much as you can do.

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Speaker 2: Not engage.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you I made the mistake of engaging before

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Speaker 1: and it was just horrible and it was just more

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Speaker 1: of my ego of like I'm going to show you. No,

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Speaker 1: it's energy that can be placed elsewhere, So spend your

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Speaker 1: time and your energy on that, on the sun and

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Speaker 1: finding ways to avoid her as much as you possibly can.

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Speaker 1: That is the best advice I can give you. And

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Speaker 1: again I'm telling you from experience, So just take any

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Speaker 1: breath and just until if it just gets worse and

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Speaker 1: you can't deal with them, then you have to make

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Speaker 1: a decision.

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Speaker 2: Do I want to stay in this relationship.

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Speaker 1: And deal with this and put my ego to the

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Speaker 1: side and put my feelings to the side and trust

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Speaker 1: him that he's going to do his part to give

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Speaker 1: you your place, or do I walk away, but that

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Speaker 1: is the best advice I can give you, and I

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Speaker 1: hope it works out with Merla.

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Speaker 2: I feel you, girl.

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Speaker 1: I know it's not easy, so we're gonna move on

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Speaker 1: to lynn Hei Cheeky's.

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Speaker 4: I'm a big fan of your your Mom's. I love

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Speaker 4: your podcast and your music. Thank you for recording podcasts.

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Speaker 4: I look forward to listen to them every day. How

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Speaker 4: do you know if someone really is your friend or not.

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Speaker 4: I have a friend that is She's my sister in law,

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Speaker 4: but I consider her a very close friend. We have

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Speaker 4: had our ups and downs, but I feel like every

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Speaker 4: time I bring something up to her that bugs me

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Speaker 4: or something that hurts my feelings, I always get told

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Speaker 4: that I'm overreacting and like the blame always somehow I'm

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Speaker 4: the one to blame for whatever I brought up. I

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Speaker 4: know I'm not perfect. Sometimes I don't know how to

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Speaker 4: say things right, but I've been working on that a

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Speaker 4: lot this past few years, where I try to be

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Speaker 4: respectful with my words and say things as nice as

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Speaker 4: I can. I just don't know if.

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Speaker 5: I should feel guilty because sometimes I ask myself and

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Speaker 5: maybe I'm the problem. Maybe I am overreacting a lot

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Speaker 5: but how do you know if a friendship is real?

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Speaker 1: Ooh, all right, Lynn, Well, it kind of sucks because

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Speaker 1: she's not validating your feelings. And I'm glad that you're

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Speaker 1: working on how you're delivering your message because that has

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Speaker 1: a lot to do with it. Like how we tell someone, hey,

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Speaker 1: you hurt my feelings if we're saying it in a

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Speaker 1: rude way or using profanity or whatever the case may be.

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Speaker 1: But it seems like you're really trying to say things

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Speaker 1: in the best way possible. Now, her job as your

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Speaker 1: friend is to validate your feelings to if she doesn't agree,

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Speaker 1: just maybe she has to say, hey, I don't necessarily

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Speaker 1: agree with you, but i'll take it into consideration. That's

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Speaker 1: taking responsibility and accountability, and I don't feel like she's

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Speaker 1: doing that, so I feel like it's not fair. I

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Speaker 1: think you should have a conversation with her. If you

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Speaker 1: really love her and she's like your best friend and

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Speaker 1: she's your sister in law, I think it's worth you

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Speaker 1: having a deeper conversation with her and just telling her, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of feeling like this and it's really hurting

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Speaker 1: my feelings and it's making me feel like maybe I

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Speaker 1: don't want to continue with more than being.

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Speaker 2: Sister in laws, like a friendship.

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Speaker 1: If she continues to say, like, you're overreacting like that,

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Speaker 1: that's not cool, then you're going to have to make

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Speaker 1: a decision and say, hey, like I don't feel like

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Speaker 1: you're really listening to me. You're listening to me to

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Speaker 1: respond instead of understand, and I'm not feeling good. So

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Speaker 1: you without even telling her, once you have this last

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Speaker 1: conversation that's going to determine do I want to continue

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Speaker 1: with this friendship or not, then that's a decision you

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Speaker 1: need to come to. Like, you need to first decide

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Speaker 1: do I want to have this conversation on a deeper level,

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Speaker 1: and you're going to be forced to make this decision.

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Speaker 1: If not, you're going to be in this pattern of

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Speaker 1: dealing with it over and over. So that's my suggestion.

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Speaker 1: Speak to her, let her know how you're feeling.

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Speaker 2: Again.

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Speaker 1: I always tell people to write a letter. Sometimes you

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Speaker 1: feel that you're not going to be able to get

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Speaker 1: through to someone, writing a letter to someone or in

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Speaker 1: your notes and then sending it. I love doing that too,

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Speaker 1: writing notes and sending them. Will that'll help. I think

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Speaker 1: it is important for you to express your feelings and

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Speaker 1: how she's making you feel, and depending on how she reacts,

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Speaker 1: then you decide whether you want to continue with this

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Speaker 1: friendship or not because it's obviously causing you turmoil and

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Speaker 1: it's causing you like to feel sad, and that's not cool.

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Speaker 1: Friendship shouldn't make you feel that way. That should be

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Speaker 1: a safe place where you're able to express yourself and say, hey,

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Speaker 1: even if you are overreacting for be like that, you

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Speaker 1: have to realize that yourself. Once you guys have a

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Speaker 1: dialogue and talk about your feelings, but she's not allowing

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Speaker 1: you to recognize that if that's the case, so I

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Speaker 1: feel like it's not a little unfair.

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Speaker 2: Now we're gonna move on to Nisha.

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Speaker 6: Hi Cheeky's. I'm from Philadelphia from the East Coast. I

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Speaker 6: just wanted to show you some love and tell you

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Speaker 6: that you are so fabulous. I love everything you're doing.

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Speaker 6: Continue to accomplish your dreams, girl. Don't let no one

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Speaker 6: stop you. Don't let the drama, the family, nothing stop you.

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Speaker 4: Girl.

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Speaker 6: You can continue to be successful and guess what, at

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Speaker 6: the end of the day, that's all that's gonna matter. Mama,

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Speaker 6: say down, Okay, okay. And also my question for you

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Speaker 6: is I was wondering if you ever had any dreams

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Speaker 6: with your mother, like anything in general. Has she ever

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Speaker 6: came to you in a dream? That will be my

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Speaker 6: number one question for you. And also just to let

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Speaker 6: you know, girl, I've been in a relationship for eight

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Speaker 6: years with my fiance because he's my fiance now and

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Speaker 6: he's eight years younger than me, and girl, I know

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Speaker 6: everything of what you're going through. Girl, it's so fabulous

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Speaker 6: to day younger. I wouldn't ch angel for anything in

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Speaker 6: this world. I was in a marriage for eleven years

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Speaker 6: and I was completely miserble in that marriage until I

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Speaker 6: met my fiance and I think he's great, amazing. I

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Speaker 6: wouldn't trade him in for the world. And girl, the

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Speaker 6: younger the better.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's a young girl.

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Speaker 6: Okay, so much hugs, Love you guys, and continue to

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Speaker 6: be successful with your siblings.

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Speaker 2: Oh Nisha, you are a vibe girl. I love it.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: I love your your like, the way you speak, it's

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Speaker 1: just so delicious.

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Speaker 2: You put me in a good mood. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate it. And yes, dating younger has been has

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Speaker 1: been great. I really did never thought I was going

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Speaker 1: to date someone that was seven years younger than me.

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Speaker 1: But I'm having a great time. I really am, thank

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Speaker 1: the Lord. So I wish you and your fiance the

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Speaker 1: best as well. So, now Nisha your question. I have

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Speaker 1: not dreampt with my mom in so long it's crazy.

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Speaker 1: So one time I dreamt my mom three times in

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Speaker 1: this in these last twelve years, almost twelve years. One

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Speaker 1: was her and I sitting at her desk. If you

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Speaker 1: ever watched I Love Jenny, it was like that famous

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Speaker 1: big ass test that she had, and she was sitting

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Speaker 1: in her bigo chair and I was sitting on the

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Speaker 1: other end, on the other side, and we were just

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Speaker 1: talking business things that I needed to do with my siblings.

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Speaker 1: It was just that, like it was really nothing like

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Speaker 1: specific or something like a message that she gave me.

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Speaker 1: It was just her showing me that where she is.

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Speaker 1: The idea I got was she was handling business. She

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Speaker 1: was still watching us, taking care of us, making sure

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Speaker 1: and like telling me what I had to do.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: So that kind of was like, Oh, there's Mom's in heaven.

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Speaker 1: She sure is still like handling business. And then the

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Speaker 1: next time I.

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Speaker 2: Dreamt her.

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Speaker 1: One of the other times was her looking so beautiful

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Speaker 1: in like a white dress with long, beautiful straight hair.

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Speaker 1: She looks so young, and she just came to me

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Speaker 1: and like did this thing where she I was going

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Speaker 1: through something really tough then, and she just like kind

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Speaker 1: of rubbed my head and didn't say anything. She just

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Speaker 1: looked so beautiful and glorious, like there was this amazing

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Speaker 1: glow around her.

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Speaker 2: She looked like an angel.

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Speaker 1: And she just touched my head and rubbed it like

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be fine, like You're gonna be fine. And

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Speaker 1: it just gave me so much peace. But the next day,

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Speaker 1: I woke up so freaking sad, like so sad, like

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, it wasn't real, Like oh,

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Speaker 1: it felt so real that when I woke up and

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Speaker 1: it wasn't, I was so sad for the next few

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Speaker 1: days that I just I think that that's kind of

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Speaker 1: like in a way, I scared her away because I

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Speaker 1: haven't seen her in my dream since then, So I

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Speaker 1: think she just does it now because she's like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm still here because I feel her. I don't see her,

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Speaker 1: but I feel her. But since then, it's been like

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Speaker 1: years since that happened. But now I'm like, Mom, I'm

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Speaker 1: ready to see you again. I'm stronger now. So but yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was that was really nice. I don't really I

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Speaker 1: don't think I've ever really talked about that, but but yeah,

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Speaker 1: thank you for asking me that. I think I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna pray and I'm gonna ask my mom to

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Speaker 1: come in my dreams.

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Speaker 2: I'm ready.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get sad anymore. Mom, I want to

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Speaker 1: see you. But yeah, thanks Nisha, And you were so sweet.

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Speaker 1: I really I love your voice so cute. The last

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Speaker 1: question comes from Raquel Hi Cheeky's.

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Speaker 7: My question is with you and your siblings, ever think

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Speaker 7: of doing a giveaway where we get to hang out

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Speaker 7: with you guys like the whole day, you know, maybe

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Speaker 7: if it's just going out to dinner, or if it's

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Speaker 7: going to Disneyland, or even just like literally hanging out

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Speaker 7: and having like a garden asada, like just vibing. You know,

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Speaker 7: I love you guys so much, like for the genuine

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Speaker 7: people that you guys are, Like, you guys have such

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Speaker 7: beautiful hearts, like you know, I love your mom, and

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Speaker 7: I think a giveaway like that would be like once

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Speaker 7: in a lifetime for people that who actually love and

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Speaker 7: adore you guys. Would you guys ever consider doing a

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Speaker 7: giveaway like that?

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Speaker 2: Love you hi, Raquel, Oh, I love you back. I

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Speaker 2: love that. That's a great idea.

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Speaker 1: I just told Came, my assistant, to write that down

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Speaker 1: because that'd be awesome. We have to find a good day.

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Speaker 1: I'll talk to my siblings. I'm sure they'd be down,

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Speaker 1: but we.

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Speaker 2: Would love that.

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Speaker 1: We would love to have a little barbecue and hang

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Speaker 1: out and no phones, just chilling. We have to find

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Speaker 1: out how and where we would do that. But I

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Speaker 1: love that idea.

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 1: I know they'd be down, all of them, for sure, Jackie,

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Speaker 1: Jackie and Johnny would be so down. I have to

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Speaker 1: talk to Mikey and Jackie to Jenica, but I'm sure

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Speaker 1: they'd be down. They're super loving, and you're right. My

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Speaker 1: mom did give us a pretty good heart, so I

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Speaker 1: appreciate that.

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Speaker 2: You see that. That makes me feel happy.

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Speaker 1: I feel like we did a good job with these

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Speaker 1: darn kids.

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Speaker 2: But yes, Raquel, I love the idea.

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Speaker 1: I love the idea, and I will definitely keep that

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Speaker 1: in mind and figure out a way how we can

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Speaker 1: find a winner or two.

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Speaker 2: Or maybe one.

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Speaker 1: We'll figure it out, but okay, you guys, Thank you

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Speaker 1: so much. This concludes our episode of Dear Cheeky's Today

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Speaker 1: to esmeer La, tln Tu, Nishe and two Raquel, thank

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Speaker 1: you so much, you guys. I hope that you enjoyed

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Speaker 1: this episode of Dear Cheeky's. I'm grateful for each and

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Speaker 1: every one of you. I will never be tired of

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Speaker 1: saying that, because I love that you guys take the

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Speaker 1: time whatever it is that you're doing, if you're driving

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Speaker 1: or cleaning or working out and you're listening or watching

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Speaker 1: Dear Cheeky's, just know that I am grateful and I

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Speaker 1: appreciate it very much, and I will see you guys

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Speaker 1: on the next episode of Dear Cheeky's. This is a

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Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio and Mike Withura podcast Network. Follow us

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Speaker 1: on Instagram at Mike Withura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's

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Speaker 1: That's c h I q U I s. For more

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Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

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Speaker 1: wherever you get your favorite shows.