WEBVTT - Recovery Run: “We Need To Do Better”

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, that folks. It is Saturday, July Fit and welcome

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<v Speaker 1>to your recovery run. That's welcome to a d day.

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<v Speaker 1>This episode is dedicated to trying to recover, but we

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<v Speaker 1>all went through during the week brow we started this

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<v Speaker 1>this last weekend. Weeks are tough and oftentimes as runners,

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<v Speaker 1>literal runners, we often have a recovery run. So explain

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<v Speaker 1>to folks what we're talking about.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, a recovery run, if you're a runner, is a short, easy,

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<v Speaker 2>low intensity run, and it's usually done after having a

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<v Speaker 2>strenuous workout or several strenuous workouts, so that your muscles

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<v Speaker 2>can recover. It reduces soreness, and it just actually makes

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<v Speaker 2>you feel better, so you deliberately go slower and easier,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's.

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<v Speaker 3>Short, but it has a big impact.

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<v Speaker 1>So the point of us doing a weekend morning run

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<v Speaker 1>is to do all those things you just said to

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<v Speaker 1>be slower, easier, less intense. And I guess the talk

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<v Speaker 1>all week robes was absolutely about Ditty and the Ditty trial,

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<v Speaker 1>but over the past several weeks, so just reading through

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<v Speaker 1>that stuff watching news coverage, I'm pretty sure there's some

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<v Speaker 1>parents who won't even allow their kids to watch some

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<v Speaker 1>news coverage giving some of the subject matter, but that

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<v Speaker 1>has been heavy. You don't have to be covering it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's heavy and people have had heavy conversations around it,

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<v Speaker 1>so it's good they could be.

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<v Speaker 3>It's true if you think about it.

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<v Speaker 2>Every time you read a news article or see something

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<v Speaker 2>about the Didty trial, there's always a warning about explicit material,

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<v Speaker 2>but also a warning for folks who have gone through

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<v Speaker 2>any kind of domestic abuse or any sort of violence.

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<v Speaker 2>They're warning that just reading about it or hearing about

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<v Speaker 2>it can trigger up trigger old feelings or make it

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<v Speaker 2>difficult for people to process pain and problems.

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<v Speaker 3>So yeah, just.

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<v Speaker 2>Seeing it, hearing it, reading it, and living it it

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<v Speaker 2>does take a toll on you, not just mentally, but

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<v Speaker 2>I think this sometimes as well.

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<v Speaker 1>So we have been sharing with you all some of

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<v Speaker 1>the things we do in these high intensity weeks. How

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<v Speaker 1>do we try to take a beat, how do we

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<v Speaker 1>try to recover? How do we try I guess to

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<v Speaker 1>just slow life down a little bit? And first row,

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<v Speaker 1>I guess we have didn't it. First of all, we

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<v Speaker 1>haven't been great at it this week. No, I think

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<v Speaker 1>we have fallen off and failed a little bit, and

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<v Speaker 1>we prioritized work and there was a lot of it.

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<v Speaker 1>But we haven't. We haven't done a great job.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, full disclosure.

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<v Speaker 2>So we had plans and I think sometimes this is

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<v Speaker 2>maybe what we will do from here on out. But

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<v Speaker 2>when you schedule and plan relaxing time, it actually works.

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<v Speaker 2>We tried to do that this week, but unfortunately, because

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<v Speaker 2>of the constant headlines with dinit trial, we didn't do

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<v Speaker 2>what we set out to do.

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<v Speaker 1>Will you say that we canceled our relaxation.

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<v Speaker 3>We did.

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<v Speaker 2>We canceled. We canceled our recovery runs this week. It

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<v Speaker 2>was so frustrating, but we ended up having to do it,

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<v Speaker 2>or we chose to do it. We chose to do it.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess we could have chosen are choosing. Listen, this

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<v Speaker 2>is why I need a recovery run. I just said, choosen.

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<v Speaker 1>You need recovery sleep?

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<v Speaker 3>I need I do need sleep. That's the first thing

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<v Speaker 3>that we're gonna do. But we had tried to.

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<v Speaker 2>We picked out a movie, we picked out a time,

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<v Speaker 2>we picked out a theater, and then at the last

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<v Speaker 2>minute we said, we have.

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<v Speaker 1>Too much work to do. And now as you said that,

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<v Speaker 1>I actually remember two thirty Alamo draft House Downtown movie playing.

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<v Speaker 1>We had it set.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, twenty eight years later.

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<v Speaker 2>We've been so excited about seeing this movie, and we

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<v Speaker 2>really wanted to see it in theaters because it's a

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<v Speaker 2>zombie movie, and of course those are always much better

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<v Speaker 2>on a bigger screen. So we canceled that, and then

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<v Speaker 2>we thought, you know what, let's punt you and I.

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<v Speaker 2>All of our daughters happened to be out of town

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<v Speaker 2>at the first part of this week, and so we thought,

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<v Speaker 2>let's take advantage.

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<v Speaker 1>Of that because we were going to have all of

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<v Speaker 1>them for a long.

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<v Speaker 2>Time, because that's where we're currently with all of them

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<v Speaker 2>right now. Actually we've escaped from them for a quick

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<v Speaker 2>moment to record this. But we decided, then let's go

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<v Speaker 2>to dinner. Let's go have a wonderful steak. Sit down,

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<v Speaker 2>We'll have a glass of red wine and a steak,

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<v Speaker 2>and we'll just the two of us enjoy. We were

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<v Speaker 2>so exhausted at the end of the day, we said, nah,

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<v Speaker 2>let's just go to bed.

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<v Speaker 3>You actually said let's just go to bed.

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<v Speaker 1>This is embarrassing. Really, we always we preach this, We

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<v Speaker 1>tell folks this, and look we do for ourselves. We

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<v Speaker 1>do practice this. But I'm thinking about this week and

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<v Speaker 1>I know the Ditty trial and everything that was happening

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<v Speaker 1>coming at us this week was a lot. We had

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<v Speaker 1>a lot to do, but it it did. We we

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<v Speaker 1>failed a little bit this week. We have to find

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<v Speaker 1>time together. You and I have to find time to

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<v Speaker 1>just be the two of us. And even with our

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<v Speaker 1>all the kids gone, we had no kid responsibility, and

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<v Speaker 1>we still ended up working by choice fourteen to fifteen

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<v Speaker 1>hours on a Friday.

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<v Speaker 3>That was tough. That was That was a tough day.

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<v Speaker 2>And then the rest of this week has been this same,

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<v Speaker 2>even while we were traveling with our daughters midweek. And

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<v Speaker 2>this is something we have left the city, which is helpful,

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<v Speaker 2>and we are somewhere beautiful with our kids. But when

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<v Speaker 2>you're somewhere beautiful with your kids, it's still a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of work. And when you travel, you know, travel delays,

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<v Speaker 2>the stress of getting on a plane and all of that.

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<v Speaker 2>But then to have the Diddy trail verdict, it actually

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<v Speaker 2>came down while we were traveling, so it ended up

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<v Speaker 2>just being an exceptionally stressful days.

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<v Speaker 1>Were stressed out. Okay, this is a terrible recovery run

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<v Speaker 1>episode because all.

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<v Speaker 2>About I will say something we did do in the

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<v Speaker 2>last seven days. We drove out to a wooded path

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<v Speaker 2>a rail trail. We're actually this is something we did

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<v Speaker 2>for ourselves. We are training for We haven't said this yet.

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<v Speaker 2>We were training for the Stockholm Marathon half marathon. And

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<v Speaker 2>it's August thirtieth and we are traveling to Sweden to

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<v Speaker 2>go run this half marathon, and so our training has

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<v Speaker 2>begun and we went and just had a beautiful run

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<v Speaker 2>five miles in a wooded path outside of the city.

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<v Speaker 2>And for me and you can speak to it as well,

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<v Speaker 2>but it was that was probably my favorite, my favorite

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<v Speaker 2>thing we did together.

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<v Speaker 1>Highlight of the week. Yes, it's probably that. The other

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<v Speaker 1>thing we're trying to do to recover. We don't know

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<v Speaker 1>if we're going to be able to pull off. But

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<v Speaker 1>on this trip we have the girls with us, and

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<v Speaker 1>on the trip, maybe the next day or so, we

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<v Speaker 1>were hoping to get away from the girls so that

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<v Speaker 1>you and I could go escape and have a nice

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<v Speaker 1>dinner somewhere. This is so I didn't want to adult

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<v Speaker 1>this much. This is supposed to be fun. This is

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<v Speaker 1>too much adulting. We have to ask permission from the

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<v Speaker 1>kids for us to go spend time together. What is happening, Yes.

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<v Speaker 2>It's called parenthood, and as you said, have said, we

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<v Speaker 2>are doing entirely too much parenting.

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<v Speaker 3>But I know so many people listening can absolutely.

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<v Speaker 2>Miserate and understand. We love our kids. They're a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of fun. But I do think it's important to prioritize

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<v Speaker 2>alone time, prioritize romantic time. And I think we also

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<v Speaker 2>have an added issue of working together. And so what

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<v Speaker 2>ends up happening is a lot of times when we

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<v Speaker 2>talk and when we're together, we're working, we're talking about work,

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<v Speaker 2>we're planning the next thing we're doing, and we're not

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<v Speaker 2>actually just enjoying each other and just being with each other.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think that is on our list of things

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<v Speaker 2>to do. Our homework assignment for more recovery is to

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<v Speaker 2>find that time to just be and enjoy.

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<v Speaker 1>Something I have individually that has helped me. That we

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<v Speaker 1>talked about this previously, but you've noticed it keeping our

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<v Speaker 1>home space very tidy. It's one of those things you've

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<v Speaker 1>noticed that everybody's noticed a long time. For me, if

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<v Speaker 1>there's something going wrong internally, if there's something out of

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<v Speaker 1>my control in life, somebody's pissed me off, or's something

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<v Speaker 1>going right, I then go into a mode of controlling

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<v Speaker 1>the controllables, which includes my environment.

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<v Speaker 2>You pull out the windecks and I start cleaning. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>he's not kidding. And that's always when I know if

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<v Speaker 2>he's really upset. If we've had a tough conversation and

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<v Speaker 2>he starts just vigorously cleaning, I know he's bad. I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh no, this might take a day for him to recover,

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<v Speaker 2>but his apartment is going to be The apartment is

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<v Speaker 2>going to be spotless.

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<v Speaker 1>Walk in and see that, you go, oh shit, what's wrong?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh no, place looks too nice?

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<v Speaker 3>What happened?

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<v Speaker 2>But it's funny because I actually, I absolutely agree with

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<v Speaker 2>your strategy because I didn't realize I did this as well.

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<v Speaker 2>But I always feel better after I organize. I think

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<v Speaker 2>everybody does. I always feel better after I clean. If

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<v Speaker 2>I look around and see I don't see dust, I

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<v Speaker 2>see everything's put away, I can relax.

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<v Speaker 3>So it's true. I am the same way. Cleaning is healing.

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<v Speaker 1>That's helped me this week. I didn't. It is one

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<v Speaker 1>of those things that does help me recover with a

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<v Speaker 1>little down, things aren't going away. Whatever you want to say.

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<v Speaker 1>Getting a little depressed, I can clean. When you come in,

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<v Speaker 1>you see I have more than two candles. Bit. You

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<v Speaker 1>know this dude is trying to find his way back.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, you're looking for peace and that makes a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of sense. And as you were a partner, I really

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<v Speaker 2>appreciate it. I don't want to make you upset too often,

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<v Speaker 2>but honestly, it's nice to have that be your outlet.

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<v Speaker 2>There are so many other things that could be far

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<v Speaker 2>worse that you could do if you're angry, to try

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<v Speaker 2>and calm down, and if your go to is cleaning,

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<v Speaker 2>I am all for them.

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<v Speaker 1>People have different little normal What is it that people

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<v Speaker 1>notice about their spouses when they are upset? What's usually

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<v Speaker 1>the sign that they're a little stand authors are a

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<v Speaker 1>little short or a little snappy or a little What

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<v Speaker 1>are the things they noticed?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, and I think with drawn and a lot. Sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>people just you know, can't get out of bed. Times,

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<v Speaker 2>people start eating, some people start drinking. I mean, there's

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<v Speaker 2>people go to their vices. Whatever makes them feel comfort. Right,

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<v Speaker 2>cleaning is yours. I'll take it. Like I said, there

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<v Speaker 2>are part What do I do when I'm upset? Do

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<v Speaker 2>I withdraw?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh? Your voice gets louder and you cry. There's no

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<v Speaker 1>when there are no signs I need to look.

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<v Speaker 3>For that's true crying.

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<v Speaker 2>But you know what I I So it's a love

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<v Speaker 2>hate relationship because when I do cry, I always feel better,

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<v Speaker 2>there's a huge release.

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<v Speaker 3>But I'm always embarrassed that I'm crying, because.

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<v Speaker 1>Never get that. I never understand you're you're embarrassed that

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<v Speaker 1>you're crying.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to be I want to be more in control,

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<v Speaker 2>and yet you know, my sadness or my anger comes

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<v Speaker 2>in liquid form. What can I say? And it's always

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<v Speaker 2>been like that. I think I've gotten a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>better about crying less. I don't ever want it to

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<v Speaker 2>look like I'm trying to throw myself a pity party.

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<v Speaker 2>But then I'm trying to get attention or I'm trying

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<v Speaker 2>to deflect from what's going on.

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<v Speaker 3>I think, yes, you do you think it. I know

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<v Speaker 3>you're thinking, can get but it's not. It's just an expression.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just a release, basically, and and it does always

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<v Speaker 2>make me feel better.

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<v Speaker 1>There you go, hihen have you grid this week? Remember

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't cried? Hey, that's far the recovery. Sometimes we

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<v Speaker 1>need to get a good cry and maybe we can

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<v Speaker 1>get one in before this episode ends.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I really, I really don't want to do that,

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<v Speaker 2>but I really would like to go to dinner with you, babe.

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<v Speaker 2>So let's try to prioritize that, and hopefully next Saturday

0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:29.720
<v Speaker 2>we will be able to share with our amazing listeners

0:11:29.920 --> 0:11:34.200
<v Speaker 2>some actual recovery tips that we employed or we used

0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:36.160
<v Speaker 2>through the week. So let's make that a priority for

0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:36.640
<v Speaker 2>next week.

0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:39.480
<v Speaker 1>I will, I will give this one. This is something

0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:41.960
<v Speaker 1>we've done, and I we have to remember to do

0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:43.400
<v Speaker 1>it sometimes. I don't know if that's good to bad,

0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:46.560
<v Speaker 1>but I talk to you about this. You and I

0:11:46.679 --> 0:11:48.640
<v Speaker 1>always have to be good for the rest of the

0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:51.480
<v Speaker 1>family unit to be good. Sometimes we get caught up

0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:54.440
<v Speaker 1>in doing this. Okay, Sabine needs this at least needs

0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:57.560
<v Speaker 1>this need to put out this fire behavor. Okay, Savina

0:11:57.640 --> 0:11:59.240
<v Speaker 1>is kind of friends are on the way. We get

0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:02.200
<v Speaker 1>so caught up and doing all of this stuff that

0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:06.200
<v Speaker 1>pulls us there or there. And I always say, as

0:12:06.280 --> 0:12:09.720
<v Speaker 1>long as you and I are good and happy and strong,

0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:12.920
<v Speaker 1>and I think we have made on this particular trip

0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:15.400
<v Speaker 1>and in recent weeks, even when we're walking down the

0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:18.559
<v Speaker 1>street with three girls, I don't like when we separate

0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:20.640
<v Speaker 1>and I'm over here talking to Speen. If you're over

0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:23.120
<v Speaker 1>there I like to keep you and I together and

0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:26.320
<v Speaker 1>then everybody kind of comes together around us. Now, that

0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:28.920
<v Speaker 1>is something that I do appreciate. That is a part

0:12:28.960 --> 0:12:31.160
<v Speaker 1>of we can throw into the recovery run. But I

0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:33.520
<v Speaker 1>think a lot of folks can relate to. And you

0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:35.599
<v Speaker 1>see families walking down the street all the time with

0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:39.360
<v Speaker 1>hell in New York, with tourists. The dad is in

0:12:39.400 --> 0:12:41.720
<v Speaker 1>the front, the mom is in the very back. There

0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:43.880
<v Speaker 1>are three kids and none of them talking to each other.

0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:44.760
<v Speaker 3>It's so true.

0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:46.840
<v Speaker 2>It's I mean, and you see, and it's one of

0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:49.000
<v Speaker 2>those things when you do observe that, and it's so

0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:52.400
<v Speaker 2>easy to fall into that. It's so easy, but it's

0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:55.720
<v Speaker 2>good to remember to remind yourself, Hey, I love what

0:12:55.760 --> 0:12:58.320
<v Speaker 2>you just said. Bit like seriously that I think that

0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:00.480
<v Speaker 2>is so the key and we forget get to prate.

0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:05.160
<v Speaker 2>We always put our kids first, and the unit, the couple,

0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.480
<v Speaker 2>the parents last. And my parents didn't do that. They

0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:11.200
<v Speaker 2>were the opposite. And I did have that as a

0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:13.640
<v Speaker 2>model to look to. They always made sure that they

0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:16.439
<v Speaker 2>were good and that they were solid. And my brother

0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:20.560
<v Speaker 2>and I, you know, we looking now back on it,

0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:22.760
<v Speaker 2>I appreciate it, and I'm so happy to have a

0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:25.040
<v Speaker 2>partner who prioritizes that too, because I really do think

0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:28.920
<v Speaker 2>it's something you have to consciously prioritize and talk about,

0:13:29.000 --> 0:13:30.200
<v Speaker 2>because I so agree with that.

0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:33.679
<v Speaker 1>But I've noticed it when right, okay, you might be

0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:36.079
<v Speaker 1>talking to one of the girls trying to put out

0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:37.840
<v Speaker 1>a fire, and I'm over here son to look at

0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:40.800
<v Speaker 1>to being texts some little boys trying to text. We're

0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:43.680
<v Speaker 1>doing all this stuff. Folks have a little anxiety around

0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:46.240
<v Speaker 1>a table or something or issue when you and I

0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:49.760
<v Speaker 1>are just engaged with each other and laughing and joking

0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:53.199
<v Speaker 1>and having a good time, smiling and holding hands, and

0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:55.920
<v Speaker 1>they just naturally feel and want to be a part

0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:59.360
<v Speaker 1>of that. Yes, and I see it happen, and so

0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:02.440
<v Speaker 1>that you know, I would ask that reminder a long

0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:04.839
<v Speaker 1>or a recovery tip. That is one of them. You've

0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:11.240
<v Speaker 1>got to make the couple the spouses they have to be.

0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:15.480
<v Speaker 2>You have to be mindful and make sure that each

0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:17.280
<v Speaker 2>other is doing all right, you know. And I want

0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:18.719
<v Speaker 2>to thank you because I have seen you do that.

0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:21.480
<v Speaker 2>I have seen you make an effort to come and

0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:24.520
<v Speaker 2>to just hold my hand or to be with me

0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:26.960
<v Speaker 2>when the girls are all there, so we don't feel separate.

0:14:27.040 --> 0:14:30.040
<v Speaker 2>That thank you for that. I do appreciate that. It's

0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:33.920
<v Speaker 2>I've noticed it, and it does make a huge difference.

0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:39.840
<v Speaker 1>There you go. We look at that, and as we've

0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:43.320
<v Speaker 1>been sitting here, the sun has come up, yes, and

0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:46.080
<v Speaker 1>it's starting to get a little warm, and it feels fantastic.

0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:47.840
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if folks could hear. I don't if

0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:50.560
<v Speaker 1>the wind picked up on the mic here at all,

0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:51.960
<v Speaker 1>but we are sitting what do you call this?

0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:55.480
<v Speaker 3>It's a peer, this thing we're in, it's like a

0:14:55.520 --> 0:14:56.880
<v Speaker 3>love seat on a peer.

0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:00.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, that's better than the debt.

0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:04.080
<v Speaker 3>I was going to say, oh yes, it's an outdoor

0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:07.160
<v Speaker 3>love seat lounging dabt.

0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:10.720
<v Speaker 1>And nobody else here is up that. The whole piers

0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:13.400
<v Speaker 1>ourselves for the most part. The waves are crashing right

0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:14.440
<v Speaker 1>in front of us. I don't know if you all

0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:17.480
<v Speaker 1>can hear that either, but this is a nice recovery.

0:15:17.520 --> 0:15:20.360
<v Speaker 1>Get some son and get away for the girls and

0:15:20.520 --> 0:15:21.600
<v Speaker 1>come to some work.

0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:26.240
<v Speaker 3>Oh thank you all for listening, and we hope you

0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:28.680
<v Speaker 3>all recover this weekend with us.