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Speaker 1: This is John, this is them, Okay Storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we have some.

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Speaker 2: Good story is coming up for you. That's right.

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Speaker 1: But before that, we have a little morsel of a

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Speaker 1: two minute at break from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

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Speaker 2: My mother in law has been treating holidays like a competition.

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Speaker 2: I'm done. It's a competition and I shall have win.

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Speaker 2: Mother in law has always been crazy about holidays. All

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Speaker 2: three adult children in need to be there for a while,

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Speaker 2: especially Christmas. Husband and I tried to do every other

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Speaker 2: year approach. Example, one year we would do his family,

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Speaker 2: the next year with mine. My parents were more than

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Speaker 2: happy with that. Mother in law was not. She'd do

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Speaker 2: stuff like come over for just half an hour and

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Speaker 2: then keep us hostage there for hours. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from Cactus Plant Lady, and if you want

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Speaker 2: to spit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay,

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Speaker 2: Storytime separate it. So keep in mind husband is an

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Speaker 2: absolute coward as well and does not fight back. The

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Speaker 2: first vid Christmas, we told her that we would not

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Speaker 2: be going anywhere, We would be staying as you were

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Speaker 2: supposed to, not to my parents or his parents. She

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Speaker 2: was having none of that and called us to negotiate

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Speaker 2: all day long. I am not joking. It was from

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Speaker 2: morning until evening. She said, who gareth about the quarantine?

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Speaker 2: We're all break them for me. I posted on the

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Speaker 2: ear and showed him all of the comments that were

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Speaker 2: calling him out that he needed to set her straight,

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Speaker 2: that she spent more of her Christmas trying to get

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Speaker 2: us to come rather than actually celebrating with who was

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Speaker 2: with her. Something finally clicked for him then, and he

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Speaker 2: stood up to her for the first and probably only time.

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Speaker 2: So here we are again over Eiester. We all got

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Speaker 2: sick because she had to see us once a week

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Speaker 2: the entire month of April. That in itself is too much,

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Speaker 2: but she likes her surprise droppins as well. Then a

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Speaker 2: family member passed away and at a major group gathering,

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Speaker 2: so we told her we were not coming for Easter

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Speaker 2: and she said that was okay because everybody else was sick. Anyways,

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Speaker 2: we didn't have plans with my parents because they know

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Speaker 2: she's insane with holidays, and we just kind of agreed

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Speaker 2: on a next weekend sort of up in the air thing,

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Speaker 2: so we got to finally not see here. But we

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Speaker 2: both knew she'd do a makeup Easter, because how could

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Speaker 2: she possibly survive not celebrating a holiday with everybody there. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 2: the weekend after his Easter, so this past weekend was

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Speaker 2: husband's birthday. We went out for dinner last night. It

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Speaker 2: would have been fine, but she brought up a makeup

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Speaker 2: for Easter, which I was expecting. I wasn't expecting it

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Speaker 2: to get so grips h Oh, not a gross story. Interesting,

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Speaker 2: don't talk to me and my sons your grat not

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Speaker 2: this again. I should also say now that over the

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Speaker 2: years I have told husband that he needs to stand

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Speaker 2: up to her. Why can't he? Can you please be

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Speaker 2: on my side, et cetera. He always agrees, acts like

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Speaker 2: I'm right, but he will also openly say I don't

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Speaker 2: know why I'm such a coward for her, or I

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Speaker 2: don't know why I can't stand up to her and

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Speaker 2: just let me deal with it. I have told him

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Speaker 2: a few times already, I'm worried for Christmas because it's

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Speaker 2: my family's turn. But you know it'll turn into a

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Speaker 2: crap show. He's acting tough now, saying we'll put our

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Speaker 2: foot down. Well, I will put my foot down and

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Speaker 2: say no anyway, She brought up a makeup for Easter weekend.

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Speaker 2: She asked, if I've asked my parents about Mother's Day

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Speaker 2: and if we have plans. I said, of course not.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know when Mother's Day is right now,

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Speaker 2: and we haven't planned that far ahead. She really said, oh,

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Speaker 2: so I win, and laughed. I said back, it's okay.

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Speaker 2: My parents have accepted that you win all alliday is

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Speaker 2: at this point, and honestly, this is true. At this point,

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Speaker 2: after all of these years of drama and trying to

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Speaker 2: figure out how to see each other, my parents have

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Speaker 2: just accepted that she won't allow it and that we

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Speaker 2: will just work around her needs because it's so insane

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Speaker 2: and stressful and causes so much drama otherwise. She sounded

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Speaker 2: so shocked she started stuttering and said, oh, I don't

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Speaker 2: need to win every holiday. I said back, but you do.

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Speaker 2: It just dropped off there, I guess because we were

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Speaker 2: in a restaurant. It was her baby boy's birthday and

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Speaker 2: she didn't want to get into it. Whatever. I was

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Speaker 2: happy to have said that. When we got home, husband

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Speaker 2: starts going off about how he didn't think I was

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Speaker 2: too witchy, but that was an appropriate response. You didn't

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Speaker 2: know where she was coming from from, saying, I win.

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Speaker 2: I have said to her before that she treats holidays

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Speaker 2: like a custody battle, but she doesn't seem to care,

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Speaker 2: or it never got through to her. This time, she

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Speaker 2: sounded genuinely shocked. I don't know if it's because I

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Speaker 2: brought my parents into it as well, or I just

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Speaker 2: really called her out. Husband said he's so tired of

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Speaker 2: seeing everybody as often as we do. But did he

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Speaker 2: say any of this to her. No, because he's a coward.

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Speaker 2: He's a noodle man, noodle man, noodle spine. Nope, he

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Speaker 2: just stayed quiet, like always. I need mother in law

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Speaker 2: to understand that I also have a family, that not

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Speaker 2: only do I have a family, but I would like

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Speaker 2: to see them. She purposely chooses Mother's Day, a holiday

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Speaker 2: that benefits her, but also one ed in time enough

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Speaker 2: that she knew I wouldn't have planned set up with

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Speaker 2: my family, yet she expects us to give any and

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Speaker 2: all of her free time to her. I want to

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Speaker 2: hope that my tiny little comment will have woken something

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Speaker 2: up at her, made her realize, but I also know

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Speaker 2: it won't if we can't make it to whatever she

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Speaker 2: has planned she'll just drive an hour plus to our

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Speaker 2: place and drop things off absolutely unnecessary. When it comes

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Speaker 2: up again closer to the date, I'm going to say

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Speaker 2: to her that she needs to allow me to also

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Speaker 2: see my family. What do you mean allow just just

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Speaker 2: go see your family? Like you don't even need to know.

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Speaker 2: If you have plans with your mom for Mother's Day,

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Speaker 2: you can just say, yeah, I have plans, yeah, or

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Speaker 2: it might have to keep it open just in case.

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Speaker 2: I don't even think you tell her that. I think

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Speaker 2: you just say, yeah, we're busy. Yeah, that she needs

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Speaker 2: to remember it's not all just her side. Maybe throw

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Speaker 2: in that they aren't happy about this either. She's tried

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Speaker 2: a few times to invite them to her place instead,

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Speaker 2: and they have been, but not for a holiday. This

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Speaker 2: is because they have their own traditions and cooking in

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Speaker 2: their own kitchen and blah blah blah. Right, she can't

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Speaker 2: just change everybody's plans to revolve around her. I don't

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Speaker 2: know if that one is a little too rude, but

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Speaker 2: it's true. So that's where we're at. I told dear

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Speaker 2: husband that I know I'm all alone on this and

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Speaker 2: that at this point I'm gonna have to get a

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Speaker 2: little more witchy or straight up with her. He didn't

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Speaker 2: blink an eye at that. He just agreed. This man

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Speaker 2: can't He just agrees with anyone. Yeah, he's like, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you're right. And then his mom's like, you have to

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Speaker 2: come visit me. He's like, yeah, you're right. He's like, hey,

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Speaker 2: you stand up your mom. He's like, yeah, you're right.

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Speaker 2: Not a single thought for herself. She really said, I

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Speaker 2: win when it comes to talking about a holiday. I

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Speaker 2: knew she was nuts about who gets to see her

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Speaker 2: for stuff like this, but that's truly how she's seeing it.

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Speaker 2: It isn't a battle. I have suggested many times that

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Speaker 2: dear husband and her start going out for mother sun

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Speaker 2: dates yet seeing him out of her system because she

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Speaker 2: needs to so badly, But he won't. He is never

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Speaker 2: going to stand up to her. Like I said, she's

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Speaker 2: getting worse more pushy about the holidays lately, and she

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Speaker 2: needs us all there. I thought it would be the opposite.

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Speaker 2: She understands that all of her thirty plus year old

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Speaker 2: children have lives, were all grown ups, et cetera. But no,

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Speaker 2: she needs everybody there with her loved ones. If anybody

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Speaker 2: has any other basic sort of things I could throw

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Speaker 2: out for her when I confront her, I would greatly

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Speaker 2: appreciate it. I also absolutely think she will just throw out, uh,

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Speaker 2: invite your parents for this Mother's Day. But I want

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Speaker 2: to say something along the lines of they want to

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Speaker 2: cook and celebrate in their own home, like that is

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Speaker 2: so unreasonable, helloel, And also that you can't just invite

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Speaker 2: other people to your house to make it all work

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Speaker 2: out for yourself. I'm still so grossed out by her

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Speaker 2: saying I went and just laughing about it. That's really

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Speaker 2: how she has been thinking about this for all these years.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to get more harsh these days. And

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Speaker 2: there is an edit and a second edit and an update. Ah,

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Speaker 2: but before we get into those two but thoughts, I

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Speaker 2: just I think there this doesn't need to be a competition. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it definitely doesn't. Definitely doesn't need to be a competition.

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Speaker 2: We could just you know, see what works, see what doesn't,

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Speaker 2: and then that's that and that's fine. Truly. Yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: I think that. I also think that you're you're acquiescing

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Speaker 2: too much, do you or your mother in law, Like

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Speaker 2: you're letting her walk all over you. Absolutely, I mean

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Speaker 2: you're telling her. You're saying one thing to your husband,

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Speaker 2: but then the second that she says no, you guys

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Speaker 2: like I want you guys to come visit me, or like,

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Speaker 2: what are you doing on Mother's Day? Do not do

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Speaker 2: you know?

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Speaker 1: Uh?

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Speaker 2: Do you not have any plans? You guys are just like, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I guess we're going to see her. Yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: think we just need to. It's okay, ah, sorry, we

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Speaker 2: doo plans. It doesn't have to be rude. It doesn't

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Speaker 2: have to be like I hate you mother of law. Right,

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Speaker 2: just say yeah, sorry, we got plans and send a

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Speaker 2: gift or something. There's other ways to go about it.

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Speaker 2: Appreciate her for the day, or you know, you go

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Speaker 2: visit your parents. He goes and visits his mom for

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Speaker 2: Mother's Day. He could just split edit. I really appreciate

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Speaker 2: the feedback, but I also would appreciate people stopping telling

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Speaker 2: me I have no spine or no balls. I have

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Speaker 2: been fighting this woman and telling her no for ten

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Speaker 2: plus years now, and completely on my own. I know

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Speaker 2: my husband is coward, and that's partly why this is

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Speaker 2: so difficult. I've been saying no is a complete sentence

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Speaker 2: to both husband and mother in law for years. They

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Speaker 2: don't care. I came here for some extra help and

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Speaker 2: I appreciate it, but I need y'all to understand that

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Speaker 2: a lot of basic stuff has been tried before. I

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Speaker 2: know that's why we're here, because we have caved so

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Speaker 2: many times. But this year, I've told him that I'm

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Speaker 2: ready to break up if we don't deal with her.

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Speaker 2: And that's why and how I'm here, Well, you're with

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Speaker 2: your husband. She has no boundaries, even when I have

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Speaker 2: tried to set them. She will show up at our

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Speaker 2: workplaces unannounced, drop in at our places, even though we've

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Speaker 2: told her to edit to. Regarding the word allow, I

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Speaker 2: want to use that as in, hey, mother in law,

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Speaker 2: take a look in the mirror at how controlling you are.

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Speaker 2: You literally will not allow me to see my family.

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Speaker 2: I will use a more harsh and blunt word. I

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Speaker 2: know I can do what I want. I just came

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Speaker 2: here to find some good ways to figure this out.

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Speaker 2: And there is an update Ivan. Yeah, I appreciated a

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Speaker 2: lot of the nice comments and suggestions and the three

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Speaker 2: year plan, as I have never heard of that one

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Speaker 2: until yesterday. While I was on here, husband texted mother

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Speaker 2: in law in a group of conversation with the two

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Speaker 2: of them and myself. Husband. Hey, Mom, I hope you're

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Speaker 2: doing well today. I wanted to talk about dinner last

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Speaker 2: night because I've been really bothered about something that was

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Speaker 2: said there, specifically in regards to the makeup Easter meal

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Speaker 2: that you want to have on Mother's Day. I'm really

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Speaker 2: bothered by how you said you won the holiday by

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Speaker 2: bringing up plans before we even spoken with Opie's parents.

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Speaker 2: I feel like that comment was extremely out of line,

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Speaker 2: and I regret that I didn't say anything in the moment.

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Speaker 2: But I'm bringing up now because it's really not sitting

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Speaker 2: well with me. I get that you want us all

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Speaker 2: around for the holidays, but we can't be expected to

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Speaker 2: make it too absolutely every single one every time, because

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Speaker 2: we almost never get to see Opie's family on any holidays.

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Speaker 2: So thank you for the invitation, but Opie and I

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Speaker 2: will respectfully be sitting this one out. And since I'm

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Speaker 2: on the topic of holidays, I also want to put

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Speaker 2: a reminder out that we will be doing Christmas with

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Speaker 2: Opie's parents this year. You didn't say this, but just

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Speaker 2: for some context, one of his siblings had a baby,

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Speaker 2: and so last Christmas we all had to be there

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Speaker 2: for the baby's first Christmas. The use the baby is

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Speaker 2: a lot of you have to be here for baby's

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Speaker 2: first holiday stuff. But we have been talking about how

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Speaker 2: it would turn into a disaster, even though it's my

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Speaker 2: turn to spend our Christmas with my family this year.

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Speaker 2: So that was great coming from him. I did not

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Speaker 2: ask him to say this. I was just minding my

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Speaker 2: business and got that message in the group chat. I

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Speaker 2: was very pleased she came back with this mother in law.

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Speaker 2: I am sorry you feel that there was pressure on

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Speaker 2: the whole suggestion. I threw out the idea as a suggestion,

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Speaker 2: not a demand, only to say you're all welcome to come.

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Speaker 2: Don't feel you need to attend if you don't want out.

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Speaker 2: I didn't inquire to see if you had plants with

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Speaker 2: her parents. I'm sorry you and ope always feel we're

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Speaker 2: putting pressure on you. I seem to always upset your

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Speaker 2: boat and didn't mean to speak out of line. I'll

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Speaker 2: back off, Wow boy to your bags. Neither one of

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Speaker 2: us even bothered to respond to that. She absolutely did

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Speaker 2: not even address or bring up her saying I went

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Speaker 2: just made it aboor me. It was just a suggestion.

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Speaker 2: You guys are always upset with me kind of thing

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Speaker 2: I had really considered just thrown out. Uh, it's because

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Speaker 2: you're literally addressing this as a competition. It's not a battle.

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Speaker 2: You can't just say you win a holiday when you

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Speaker 2: demand were there every time. But I just kept quiet.

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Speaker 2: Let that's do. Remember this is a woman who wanted

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Speaker 2: to live in a basement apartment that she bought with

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Speaker 2: her older son. Lol, And she really said, I seem

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Speaker 2: to always upset you both. From there, she messaged my

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Speaker 2: mother to thank her for some flowers my mom had

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Speaker 2: sent a few weeks ago when mother in law had

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Speaker 2: a family member pass away. I was totally expecting her

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Speaker 2: to bring up holidays, but she just did a thank

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Speaker 2: you and let it there. My mom said you're welcome,

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Speaker 2: and that was that. So that's that for now. I

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Speaker 2: have no idea once she'll contact us again, or how

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Speaker 2: or when. Just going to enjoy the silence now. By

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Speaker 2: the way, you can enjoy full episodes of stories just

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Speaker 2: like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or Iart

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Speaker 2: Radio and search a pokey start time. But there is

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Speaker 2: a little bit left to this story. Be Fino. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I've got a question.

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Speaker 3: So the The main problem is that the mother in

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Speaker 3: law isn't like being considered of other plans that they've got.

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Speaker 3: Does any drama happen when they do go to the plans?

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Speaker 2: Seems like she makes some drama. See. Yeah, there's some

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Speaker 2: mention of a disaster, which is a little bit of

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Speaker 2: a fit. Yeah. Yeah, So it's just it just feels

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Speaker 2: all silly willy. It does feel all silly willy. I agree,

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Speaker 2: But let them have because that's the deal with when

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Speaker 2: you when you grow up and you got you got

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Speaker 2: a spouse, and then you've got two families to balance. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you gotta you gotta space them out. You gotta switch

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Speaker 2: switch off, and your parents have to be understanding understanding

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Speaker 2: with that. So indeed, silly willy, I say, But there

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Speaker 2: is a little bit left to this story. I thanked

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Speaker 2: husband for sending her that message and told him I

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Speaker 2: knew it must have been very hard for him, and

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Speaker 2: that I appreciated it very much. He said that he

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Speaker 2: agreed her response was ridiculous, but also agreed to just

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Speaker 2: leave it, ignore her, and just wait until whenever she

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Speaker 2: messages us. It's annoying that she turned it all into oh,

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Speaker 2: it was just a suggestion not a demand, even though

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Speaker 2: she was literally saying she won. And y'all know if

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Speaker 2: we had said no, she would have had a tantrum

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Speaker 2: and turned it into a demand. Loll Oh. Well, this

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Speaker 2: seemed to have opened her eyes just a little bit

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Speaker 2: at least. And that is the end of that story, folks,

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Speaker 2: the end of the story. Wow. Yeah, your mother in

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Speaker 2: law sounds like a the light. Yeah, and by delight,

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Speaker 2: I mean not it sounds horrible. Right. I'm glad that

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Speaker 2: the husband is starting to kind of stand up a

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Speaker 2: little bit and uh and grow a bit of a spine.

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Speaker 2: Perhaps I knew a little before it goes into the

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Speaker 2: boiling watter. Yeah, perhaps the strongest, but you know, no,

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Speaker 2: like easily breakable, but standing a little bit straight. Right,

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Speaker 2: there's hope for standing straight. My sister in law demands

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Speaker 2: me to vera weig to her wedding. Now everyone's mad.

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Speaker 2: Do you have weeks? I twenty three female have decided

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Speaker 2: not to faro big in my brother's wedding.

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Speaker 3: When he proposed, I was thrilled. I cheered them on

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Speaker 3: from my dorm room.

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Speaker 2: Nice. But this wedding has stressed everyone out, and for me,

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Speaker 2: it's come to a breaking point.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Incident Corrects thirty three

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Speaker 3: fifty two and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay.

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Speaker 2: Story time step Breddit.

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Speaker 3: So at the first bridal event, the bride handed out

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Speaker 3: experience packages for her bride'smaids up to three thousand dollars,

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Speaker 3: including a destination trip. What wow, what's very very nice. Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm a recent college grad with an entry level salary.

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Speaker 2: We discussed hairstyles.

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Speaker 3: The bridal party agreed on updues given the humidity. Months later,

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Speaker 3: the bride texts me that she changed the style and

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Speaker 3: wants me to vera big I had recently done a

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Speaker 3: big chop and died my natural hair, a major milestone

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Speaker 3: for me. I asked if braids were okay. She said no,

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Speaker 3: followed by texts about uniformity. I asked her to send

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Speaker 3: wig details. She didn't for months. After her bridal shower,

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Speaker 3: she asked if I had bought a wig, told me

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Speaker 3: the stylist costs, and when I didn't respond fast enough,

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Speaker 3: she still signed a contract with the stylist. I tried

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Speaker 3: to compromise. I'd install the wig myself and have the

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Speaker 3: stylist style it.

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Speaker 2: She said, no, her stylist wouldn't work.

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Speaker 3: Behind anyone else's install I said, I was uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: With both the price and the process. She replied, because

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Speaker 2: you cut and dyed your hair, there are now extra

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Speaker 2: costs for uniformity. Okay, that's weird. Well, like it's your

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Speaker 2: fault that you dye your hair. You should have thought

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Speaker 2: about that before you, you know, agreed to be in

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Speaker 2: my wedding. I just don't understand the uniformity stuff with weddings,

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Speaker 2: Like why get other people to be in your wedding

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Speaker 2: if you want perfect uniformity? Like, I don't understand what

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Speaker 2: in your wedding. I don't understand it with hair color.

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Speaker 3: Because a lot of people have different hair colors than

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Speaker 3: any don't diet Yeah, Like I mean, yeah, I mean

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I can understand it being like non ideal.

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Speaker 3: If you have, like I don't know, like a olive

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Speaker 3: green dress and then like someone was like bright orange

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Speaker 3: chair or something.

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Speaker 2: Like that, maybe you would think it's a little funky.

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Speaker 2: But I feel like it's still.

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Speaker 3: Not your place to like ask them or expect them

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Speaker 3: and demand them to wear a wig and get it

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Speaker 3: styled professionally. In therapy, I shared how I've often felt

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Speaker 3: like the family scapegoat my boundaries equal defiance. My therapist said,

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Speaker 3: when people get used to you performing, they raise the

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Speaker 3: bar every time. Interesting, my gut said, I'm not wearing

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Speaker 3: the wig. I explained this to my parents. My mom

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Speaker 3: called me selfish. My dad said you were a child.

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Speaker 3: You couldn't say no.

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Speaker 2: Then added, if the bride doesn't get what she wants,

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Speaker 2: you're out of the wedding party. That's crazy. That's crazy talk,

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Speaker 2: crazy talk.

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Speaker 3: I texted the bride she respected my decision, but I

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Speaker 3: could support from the crowd. I responded with, what stings

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Speaker 3: is being told that I can only stay if I

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Speaker 3: change everything about how I show up. That's not unity,

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Speaker 3: that's control. I love you, but won't disappear. She forwarded

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Speaker 3: it to my family. How mature, how lovely?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, instead of having a real conversation like adults,

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Speaker 2: let get fifty freaking media. You know, outside perspectives in

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Speaker 2: your Yeah, that aren't relevant exactly.

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Speaker 3: She's been very controlling. Others have clashed with her, and

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Speaker 3: her maid of honor dropped out. My brother says that

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Speaker 3: she talks negatively about our family. When I brought that up,

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Speaker 3: and my dad shouted that no one's on my side

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Speaker 3: and blamed my mental health.

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Speaker 2: Great. I love this.

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Speaker 3: Everything's so fun and cool. I was told that I

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Speaker 3: shouldn't attend the wedding at all. My brother said that

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Speaker 3: he didn't care if I was in the wedding party,

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Speaker 3: which lifted some guilt.

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Speaker 2: I told him that I'll still show up as myself.

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Speaker 2: An insert edit. The bride finally sent a message saying

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Speaker 2: that I was condescending. My choice was last minute.

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Speaker 3: She's the center of this new chapter, and the Bible

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Speaker 3: says that the wife comes first, and I punted myself out.

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Speaker 3: I feel like, obviously you can have different decisions on like,

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Speaker 3: you know, the wife comes first, but when it's not your.

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Speaker 2: Wife, yeah, I feel like that's not what it's to

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Speaker 2: Everybody knows that when it's my ya, I come first

401
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Speaker 2: for literally everyone, everyone's personal lives, everyone's personal lives. I

402
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,639
Speaker 2: should be first, yeah, which means that you get choice

403
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Speaker 2: of their autonomy.

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Speaker 3: I'm wrong, wrong, I responded with the truth. I'd expressed

405
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Speaker 3: discomfort early on. My words weren't cruel, they were clarifying.

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Speaker 3: I shared Scripture Ephesians five. Respect goes both ways. I

407
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Speaker 3: respect their marriage, but I respect myself more. There you go, Yeah,

408
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,479
Speaker 3: quote the Bible right back of them. There you go,

409
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Speaker 3: throw it back in their faces. She sent it to

410
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Speaker 3: my brother. He texted me, I love you, but she

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Speaker 3: comes first. If you can't fall in line, you're out.

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Speaker 2: No more discussion.

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Speaker 3: Am I the ale for refusing to varrow wig and

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Speaker 3: standing in my truth and edits. I should note that

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Speaker 3: once my brother said that he didn't care if I

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Speaker 3: was in the party, I agreed and said that I

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Speaker 3: would sit in the audience and support him.

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Speaker 2: This is my only brother slash siblings, so of course.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to be in his wedding. And we do

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Speaker 3: have some comments. But what are our comments so far?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I think stuff, yeah, standard ground man. Yeah, don't

422
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Speaker 2: let them walk all over you because they want you

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Speaker 2: to wear a certain know, yeah, certain thing, a wig.

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Speaker 2: I guess, Like, I feel like there's a way to

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Speaker 2: fix this.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't have to end in like you know, no

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Speaker 3: contact or anything like that, or just like absolute like

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Speaker 3: no wedding stuff.

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Speaker 2: But but it feels like OP is doing everything right.

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00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:14,919
Speaker 3: So I don't know if they can like maybe they

431
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,399
Speaker 3: can meet in person or something and they can be

432
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,880
Speaker 3: like Hey, like, I really care about you, I really

433
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,960
Speaker 3: want to be in your wedding, and I want to

434
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,239
Speaker 3: figure this out. But I just I just don't have

435
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:26,679
Speaker 3: the money for that, or like I just don't really

436
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,760
Speaker 3: want to do that, or like why do you want to?

437
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:30,240
Speaker 2: I don't know.

438
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:31,960
Speaker 3: Just try to have a heart to heart and see

439
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,399
Speaker 3: if it give give them the chance to also have

440
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,239
Speaker 3: like an adult response. I know we haven't had that

441
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,480
Speaker 3: so far, and she has had a chance, I guess.

442
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,720
Speaker 2: But well, yeah, that's the problem is that I feel

443
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,919
Speaker 2: like if op texture and was like, hey, let's have

444
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:47,240
Speaker 2: like a mature conversation conversation, she would just send it.

445
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,720
Speaker 2: Yeah your family members, Yeah, like, oh, you're trying to

446
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 2: have a mature conversation, Apie, how dare you maybe talking

447
00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:56,119
Speaker 2: in person? Because obviously this is a relationship that we

448
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,040
Speaker 2: want to salvage.

449
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:58,879
Speaker 3: We don't want to just forget about this, so you know,

450
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,880
Speaker 3: maybe talking in person will help.

451
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,880
Speaker 2: But who's to say. Who's to say?

452
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,120
Speaker 3: We do have some comments, so let's see what they say.

453
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,440
Speaker 3: Common number one says, info. Do you think they would

454
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 3: have let you bow out gracefully or were there people

455
00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 3: pressuring you to go along and not quit Ohpie says,

456
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 3: I was actively. I actively was expressing discomfort at home

457
00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,359
Speaker 3: with my parents. I outright said several times that I

458
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,240
Speaker 3: didn't want to wear the wig. I went along with

459
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,439
Speaker 3: it because my mom agreed to pay for it. Okay,

460
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,119
Speaker 3: The thing is that my mom hasn't been financially responsible

461
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,120
Speaker 3: for me in a long time. My job pays well,

462
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,640
Speaker 3: but it's hourly, not salary. I can afford the things

463
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 3: that I want, Sash need. I haven't had to ask

464
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,280
Speaker 3: her for money. I normally ask when it comes to

465
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,879
Speaker 3: doctor's visits and therapy. So for her to say that

466
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,800
Speaker 3: she would take care of her I felt like I

467
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,480
Speaker 3: was going back into old patterns. I paid for my dress,

468
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,439
Speaker 3: and I wanted to pay for my hair, and I

469
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,280
Speaker 3: didn't want my mom to pay for something that I

470
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,800
Speaker 3: didn't want. I respect her money, and I don't want

471
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:50,639
Speaker 3: her to pay for something that she doesn't need to

472
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 3: pay for.

473
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 2: Comment number two. You are not out of line for

474
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,639
Speaker 2: not wearing a wig and not being a bridesmaid, but

475
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,400
Speaker 2: I do feel like you were making a big deal

476
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,439
Speaker 2: out of it. Yeah, it sounds like they were okay

477
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,320
Speaker 2: with you not being a bridesmaid, and your brother supported you,

478
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,639
Speaker 2: but it also sounds like you didn't do this in

479
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 2: a quiet, polite way. It feels like slightly you are

480
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:11,120
Speaker 2: making this about you and stirring up bad feelings about

481
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 2: the bride. That's not okay, especially as your brother seems supportive.

482
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 2: Opie says, I understand your statement, but I had to

483
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,680
Speaker 2: leave a lot out. My whole intermediate family brother included,

484
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,399
Speaker 2: lashed out on me multiple times for not complying and

485
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,080
Speaker 2: call me out of my character. I've been polite and

486
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 2: also firm. I like the bride.

487
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 3: I really haven't had any issue with her up until

488
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,679
Speaker 3: this point. However, if someone is going to be joining

489
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,919
Speaker 3: my life and it's not my decision, I'm going to

490
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 3: have a say on how they treat me.

491
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 2: That is true. That is true. I think, like, yeah,

492
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:38,200
Speaker 2: I don't.

493
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 3: I think this is being blown out of proportion, But

494
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 3: I don't necessarily think it's Opie that's doing that in

495
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:43,879
Speaker 3: the first place.

496
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think it is not necessarily

497
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:51,640
Speaker 2: the biggest request, especially if op wouldn't be paying for it, right,

498
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:55,680
Speaker 2: But I think it is a The way that it's

499
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 2: been gone about, yeah, is definitely not correct by the

500
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,200
Speaker 2: people that are not okay with that. Like not BYOPI.

501
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,920
Speaker 2: Coming number three says, not the a whole. Bridesmaids aren't

502
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 2: your personal ornaments to your wedding. They should be there

503
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 2: because they are important people in your life, and not

504
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,360
Speaker 2: because they are the best decoration for your photos.

505
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 3: It's no surprise other bridesmaids are dropping. Personally, I would

506
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 3: have not agreed to awake at all. So the fact

507
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 3: that you've already tried to compromise on this is above

508
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,160
Speaker 3: and beyond what I think should be expected anyway. Coming

509
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,159
Speaker 3: number four says, you all seem to be Christians, So

510
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 3: ask yourself this. Would Christ insist someone wear a wig

511
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 3: to his wedding for uniformity? Or would he just be

512
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 3: happy to be surrounded by family and friends coming together

513
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 3: in love. What she's demanding of you is a height

514
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:36,919
Speaker 3: of bad manners, and I am sad to see your

515
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 3: family bowing to her unreasonable behavior. You're absolutely not in

516
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 3: the wrong, my dear, and there is an updates.

517
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 2: Should we just roll right into it? Yeah, let's do

518
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 2: just do it. Hi.

519
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 3: Everyone, First, I want to thank you all for your comments, insights,

520
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,200
Speaker 3: and support. This has been such a wild and isolating

521
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 3: experience and it's helped me more than you know. I'm

522
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 3: currently in a different state from my family, but we'll

523
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 3: be returning tomorrow. I got my hair done yesterday so

524
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,119
Speaker 3: in at a salon I history with. It was a

525
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 3: last minute appointment, so the color churned out a bit

526
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 3: louder than expected, but it's cute and professionally styled. Recently,

527
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 3: the bride mentioned that colored hair was acceptable as long

528
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 3: as it was in a ponytail.

529
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 2: Make up your mind, girl, what does not even mean?

530
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,399
Speaker 2: So I did just that it fits me and I

531
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 2: was glad that I invested in the style. Along with

532
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,639
Speaker 2: photos of my hair, I sent a message to my

533
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 2: family and the bride. It was sincere and calm.

534
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 3: I expressed that I wasn't trying to make this wedding

535
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 3: about me, that being given an ultimatum over my own

536
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 3: body felt frightening, and that I've never had an issue

537
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,439
Speaker 3: with the bride personally, but she doesn't get to control

538
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 3: what goes on my head, especially if she isn't open

539
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 3: to compromises or helping financially. My brother replied, you have

540
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 3: eliminated your chance for a recourse with how you have

541
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,200
Speaker 3: acted with everything You're out, that's final.

542
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 2: What wait?

543
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,160
Speaker 3: I thought we fixed it, I replied, okay, I've been

544
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 3: focused on taking care of my mental health and processing

545
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 3: things in a way that that's healthy for me. But

546
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 3: when I called my mom tonight and asked about the wedding,

547
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 3: she said the same things I've been hearing, that I'm

548
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 3: being dramatic, trying to mess up the day, and that

549
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 3: I'll make a big scene. She and my dad see

550
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 3: to be trying to stand up to me now, likely

551
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,439
Speaker 3: because they know how it might look if I'm not

552
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 3: in the wedding, But it doesn't feel like it's coming

553
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 3: from a genuineness. It feels performative. Some commentaris asked if

554
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,919
Speaker 3: I had a relationship with the bride. I believe I've tried.

555
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 3: I even opened up to her about a painful situation

556
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 3: from college, something deeply personal and shaming. I was hoping

557
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,640
Speaker 3: for understanding or at least compassion, But tonight my mom

558
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 3: told me that the bride is now uncomfortable having me

559
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 3: at the wedding because of that vulnerability.

560
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 2: She's like, you're sharing too much, You're trauma.

561
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 3: I'm been a little too much, I mean right now,

562
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 3: and I don't even want to she at my wedding,

563
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,640
Speaker 3: doesn't I don't want you here.

564
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 2: I think your vibe is off.

565
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 3: She just like doesn't like her and just doesn't want

566
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:38,919
Speaker 3: her and is trying and find all these excuses, it seems.

567
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, just say so, wow, you didn't have to have

568
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,560
Speaker 2: her in your bridal party. Yeah, you could have just said, like, hey,

569
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:50,119
Speaker 2: just want my besties in the bridal party. Yeah, exactly.

570
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,200
Speaker 2: You didn't even have to say that, honestly, right, you

571
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 2: just not invite someone to be in your bridal party,

572
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 2: and that's that's good enough, that's fine.

573
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 3: But let her come to the wedding, like really at all,

574
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 3: because this this is her brother, literally her brother, literally

575
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 3: her brother.

576
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:06,679
Speaker 2: You know where you should be.

577
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,679
Speaker 3: You should be on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Hiart Radio, one

578
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 3: of your favorite podcast app is because we've got more

579
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 3: full episodes of stories just like this one.

580
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,440
Speaker 2: You just gotta search okay, story time and we'll be there.

581
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,400
Speaker 2: Search it out. We'll be there for you. But there's

582
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 2: a little bit more to the story. But yeah, I

583
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 2: feel like they got chill out a little bit out.

584
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 3: There's gotta be some bigger reason than all of these

585
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 3: issues are coming up, some higher power.

586
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 2: We need to stop talking over text because it feels.

587
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 3: Like everyone is reading her like things totally wrong because

588
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 3: she's being like firm with things.

589
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm assuming like she's saying that. She's saying

590
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 2: it in a polite way, but obviously over text. You

591
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 2: community lols and someky faces in your test, some emojis,

592
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:51,440
Speaker 2: but there is a little bit more.

593
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 3: Some people have said that my message to her when

594
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 3: she punted me out made it seem like I dragged

595
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 3: this out. Maybe I did, But for me, marriage is

596
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 3: deeply sacred. My parents have been married for almost forty years,

597
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,160
Speaker 3: grandparents close to seventy years, and that legacy means something

598
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 3: to me. I want to be married someday two, not

599
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 3: just to have a wedding, but to build something real,

600
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,479
Speaker 3: lasting and rooted in love. That's why I've given so

601
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,639
Speaker 3: many chances. That's why I've tried so hard to show up,

602
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 3: even when I've felt pushed aside. Because I cherished my

603
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 3: family and I wanted to believe that they cherished me too,

604
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:20,919
Speaker 3: and that is the end.

605
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,680
Speaker 2: We all want to believe that. We do want to

606
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 2: believe that.

607
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 3: I want to believe that for ope, but it feels

608
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 3: like it's just not happening.

609
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 2: This ain't happen in folks. But that is the end

610
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:32,639
Speaker 2: of that story. My mother in law hates me, so

611
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 2: I'm planning to confront her. Oh yeah, you do that, girl.

612
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 2: My boyfriend's mom, now referred to as mother in law

613
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 2: is one of those people who's incapable of thinking about

614
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 2: other people. I've heard of them. She has hated me

615
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,360
Speaker 2: from day one for the sole reason that I am

616
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,399
Speaker 2: her son's girlfriend. By the way, this comes from vast

617
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,199
Speaker 2: Self eleven forty nine and if you want to submit

618
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime

619
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,359
Speaker 2: separate it. So she has made comments from day one,

620
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 2: but I have been really getting worse in the past

621
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 2: few months, to the point that my boyfriend is preparing

622
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 2: to go low contact with her within the month after

623
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:10,440
Speaker 2: we graduate college and will probably end up no contact.

624
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 2: Here's a list of her behavior just in the past

625
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,639
Speaker 2: six months. Went on a fifteen minute rant about what

626
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 2: a terrible pet owner am just because I have pets

627
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 2: while still in school. I am studying to be a

628
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 2: zoo keeper. Ah, it's a good dream. That's the same.

629
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 2: I am studying to be a zoo keeper. My pets

630
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 2: get the highest quality care. She only stopped because my

631
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 2: boyfriend told her to leave, went on a three hour

632
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 2: lecture about everything that is wrong with me. We should

633
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 2: have stood up for ourselves, but we were both honestly

634
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 2: stunned into silence. Told me that I don't take responsibility

635
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 2: because I'm a Capricorn. His mom don't. Did they literally

636
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,440
Speaker 2: knew that we were talking about horoscopes?

637
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 3: What?

638
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,639
Speaker 2: And mom told you that her critique was that you

639
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 2: were a capricorns, said that if I talked to a

640
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 2: man besides my boyfriend, that means I'm cheating on him.

641
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 2: The same did not apply to him. When I asked

642
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 2: if that goes both ways? In her mind got mad

643
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,360
Speaker 2: because I told her that I have a good relationship

644
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 2: with my parents. Great gave me a Coach handbag for

645
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 2: Christmas when I asked for a pet store gift card.

646
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 2: I don't use handbags and I'm not a fan of

647
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,160
Speaker 2: designer stuff. Asked for a Louis Vuitton Stanley cup. When

648
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,439
Speaker 2: I asked her what she wanted for Christmas. I'm a

649
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 2: broke college student. I'm not spending that kind of money

650
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 2: on anyone, especially her. You should sell the purse that

651
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 2: she gave you. You go and then buy her her

652
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 2: cover and knockoff. Yeah, she'll never know. Continuously telling my

653
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 2: boyfriend he shouldn't settle for me because I'm too fat.

654
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 2: I'm a healthy weight, and even if I wasn't, that's

655
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,719
Speaker 2: unbelievably rude. Absolutely it is got mad that I wouldn't

656
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 2: give her and her family all of my grad ceremony

657
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 2: tickets because I wanted my family to come. We only

658
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 2: get five tickets each. My parents aren't going to my

659
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 2: boyfriend's ceremony either. Sent my boyfriend's card to the mechanic

660
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 2: while we were on a cruise, so we had no

661
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 2: way to return to school, so she got to drive us,

662
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 2: and then got hissed when we refused to spend the

663
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 2: rest of the day with her because we we had

664
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 2: other plants. Spent an hour screaming at my boyfriend when

665
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 2: I dropped him off to pick up his car because

666
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 2: I didn't come in to say hi, which we agreed

667
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 2: beforehand I wouldn't do because she'd get mad. No matter what, Well,

668
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 2: you're right about that. One told my boyfriend I was

669
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 2: raised poorly and she was away better mother. She hates

670
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 2: that my boyfriend and I have a good relationship with

671
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 2: my family. My boyfriend and I have been working on

672
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 2: setting boundaries, and after their last talk, he basically told

673
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 2: her to leave him alone and he'll reach out when

674
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 2: he's ready. She hasn't been respecting it, in still texts

675
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 2: multiple times a day, but has backed off calling. My

676
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 2: boyfriend and I agreed it would be good to have

677
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 2: one last talk before graduation to try to avoid a

678
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 2: blow up. On the day before, I drafted a text

679
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 2: and had him send it in a group chat with her.

680
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 2: Her response was that she was so proud of us

681
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 2: for taking steps to make things right. I told my boyfriend,

682
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 2: if she raises her voice at me one more time

683
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 2: or makes one rude comment, I'm ending the conversation and

684
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 2: that would be the last time she sees of me

685
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 2: besides graduation for a very long time time. The talk

686
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 2: is in two days. Wish me luck and there is

687
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 2: an update. Do you have any thoughts on this story?

688
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 2: I just, oh, my gosh, and you and us gross

689
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 2: don't talk to me and my son. Yeah, I mean,

690
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 2: I'm just wondering what your partner is doing. And on

691
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 2: all of this, it does seem like you guys are

692
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 2: quite young, so it might be hard for him to

693
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 2: to kind of stand up to his mo mom. But uh,

694
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 2: really not cool that you have to deal with all

695
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 2: of this, you know, verbal nonsense. Yeah, yeah, it might

696
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 2: be one of the things that you just have to

697
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 2: be like, what what are you talking about?

698
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 3: And then just like ignore it, let her yap every

699
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 3: time she talks to you.

700
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 2: You know what are you even saying?

701
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 4: Who the perfect time you bust out the willy Wonka

702
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 4: you hit him with the mumble mumble. You can't keep

703
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 4: mumbling at me. I don't know what you're saying, don't know.

704
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 2: What you're talking about? Update, hegas After my last post,

705
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 2: I was for an update, So here it is. I

706
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 2: figured I should give a little background first though. My

707
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 2: boyfriend and I am twenty two years old. We met

708
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 2: four years ago at the beginning of a college We

709
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 2: were friends for a year and then started dating. We

710
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 2: have now been together for three years and it is serious. Yeah,

711
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 2: I mean three year relationship, pretty big deal. Yeah totally.

712
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 2: He is moving to my home state with me in

713
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 2: a few weeks and we were planning on getting engaged

714
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 2: within the year. Wow. Oh wow, I mean three years

715
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 2: post college. Yeah, that's so yeah. Okay, on to the update.

716
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 2: We had our phone call last night with his mom,

717
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 2: and it went pretty much as expected. It started with

718
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 2: me telling her I got a job in my home state.

719
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 2: Boyfriend is still looking for a job, so she was

720
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 2: mad I got a job first. Dude, she'd be mad

721
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 2: if you didn't have a job. She'd be like, Oh,

722
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 2: you're not doing anything, you're not taking responsibility. Yeah, and

723
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 2: she's mad that you do have a job. I can't win.

724
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 2: This woman has not heard of any other emotion. She's

725
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 2: just always mad. Yeah, likes it that way. Yeah. And

726
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 2: boyfriend told her he was going to move with me.

727
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 2: She tried every phrasing to say he shouldn't go with

728
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 2: me without coming out and saying it. I raised you

729
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 2: to be ane pendent. You are young and have your

730
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 2: whole life ahead of you. Don't settle, et cetera. Then

731
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 2: I told her that the reason I wanted to have

732
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 2: this chat was because the last time she spoke to

733
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 2: her son, she was upset because of something I did,

734
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 2: and I would like her to tell me why she

735
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 2: was upset so we could talk it through. She went

736
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 2: right into manipulator mood, refusing to talk to me about it.

737
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 2: She just kept repeating, think about it, What did you do?

738
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 2: That is so disrespectful to the mother of your boyfriend.

739
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 2: H I know why she's mad. She didn't like that

740
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,800
Speaker 2: my boyfriend told me not to come inside with him

741
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 2: when I dropped it off to pick up his car.

742
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 2: I told her that I'm not playing mind games and

743
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 2: she can tell me why she's upset. That pissed her off,

744
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 2: and she kept repeating, you should know think about it.

745
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 2: Is this a riddle? I hate that response. Yeah, I

746
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 2: always know. Just freaking tell me you know what you did?

747
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 2: So wait, don't If I don't, can you freaking believe me?

748
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 2: You deal with your doing talking about I refuse to

749
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 2: take that. BS. From there, the conversation shifted into my

750
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 2: eating habits for context. I'm a picky eater, but I'm

751
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 2: really polite about it. I do not have an eating disorder.

752
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 2: My doctor knows all about my picky eating and no

753
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 2: one is concerned, but she is. She asked me if

754
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 2: I had an eating disorder, and when I said no,

755
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 2: she didn't believe me. You don't just ask people that,

756
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 2: oh me, like you got one of those eating disorders.

757
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 2: Like I'm not gonna take no for an answer here.

758
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 2: So she asked my boyfriend many times, and he gave

759
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 2: her the same answer, so she called my mom and

760
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 2: asked her, God, what's the point of asking if you

761
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 2: just won't believe it. Yeah, She's like, I'm gonna keep

762
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 2: asking around until I get it. Yes. Yeah. During this conversation,

763
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 2: she claimed that my picky eating is disrespectful to her,

764
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 2: and I shut that down fast. I told her that

765
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 2: it's none of her business. Yeah, I forgot to talk

766
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,720
Speaker 2: about respect. Yeah, let's talk about you. And she can't

767
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 2: call my parents every time she doesn't like something I say.

768
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 2: She keept repeating things like, I'm sorry you have such

769
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,719
Speaker 2: perfect parents that I suck. Oh my god, I had

770
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 2: to raise these boys. Oh by myself. Oh my god.

771
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 2: My boyfriend's dad is not in the picture. But my

772
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 2: boyfriend was raised by his mom and his grandma, who

773
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 2: lives with them. His mom has never lived alone in

774
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 2: her life. Her mom has always lived with her. I

775
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 2: told her I'm not insulting her parenting skills, and my

776
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,360
Speaker 2: parents aren't perfect and she needs to knock it off.

777
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 2: There were a few more points she tried to make

778
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 2: that I kept shutting down, but that's the main gist.

779
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 2: There were a few times she outright lied and then

780
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 2: fake cried when I called her out on them. I

781
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 2: know it was fake because they disappeared when she found

782
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 2: a new reason to hate on me. At one point,

783
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:39,920
Speaker 2: I told her I think she just doesn't like me

784
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:43,319
Speaker 2: and looks for reasons to hate me, and her response was,

785
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:45,879
Speaker 2: I don't know you enough to say I don't like you,

786
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 2: but what I do know about you, I don't like.

787
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 2: That's so funny. Wait, I'm gonna read that again. Guys,

788
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,879
Speaker 2: I don't know you enough to say I don't like you,

789
00:34:57,120 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 2: but what I do know about you, I don't like like.

790
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,919
Speaker 3: I can't say that I don't like you as all,

791
00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 3: but I certainly don't like the little pieces?

792
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 2: Who like the little pieces? I do know? Oh my gosh.

793
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 2: I left the conversation when she told me, at the

794
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 2: end of the day, you're the child and I'm the adult,

795
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:16,720
Speaker 2: So what I think goes, You're not my mom for real?

796
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 2: She is an adult also, yeah one, okay, well, which

797
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 2: I'm twenty two. Shut the f up. I told her

798
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,320
Speaker 2: I'm done and walked away, but my boyfriend stayed. Later

799
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:28,840
Speaker 2: he told me that she didn't even notice I left

800
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 2: for a while. She was so busy continuing to yell

801
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 2: at me. I don't know everything that went down after

802
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 2: I walked away, but my boyfriend seems content. He told

803
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:38,759
Speaker 2: me that she said she didn't want him to be

804
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,919
Speaker 2: in a position where he had to choose between us,

805
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 2: and he said, good, because I'll choose every time. She

806
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,319
Speaker 2: hated that freaking mic drop moment. But you know what

807
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 2: else is a mic drop moment? What Sophia listening to

808
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,719
Speaker 2: full episodes of stories just like this? Just go to Spotify,

809
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 2: Apple podcast, or iHeartRadio and search up. Okay, story time.

810
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,319
Speaker 2: A little bit left to the story, but to any

811
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:06,840
Speaker 2: final thoughts. I think that in this situation, you just

812
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 2: have to laugh. You just gotta not just get a guard.

813
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:09,879
Speaker 4: Ah.

814
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 2: It's like, ah, there she goes again, being such a

815
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 2: silly billy. You should be a comedian with all them

816
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 2: jokes you've got. Yeah. And then like, there's no point

817
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,960
Speaker 2: in getting mad about it because she's just gonna be

818
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 2: She's gonna be mad at everything. Yeah, and there's literally.

819
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 3: Nothing you could do, right, so you just have to

820
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,400
Speaker 3: be like, oh my gosh, that silly.

821
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:30,239
Speaker 2: Woman being mad again. And also like maybe you get

822
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:32,720
Speaker 2: rid of her number, lose my number, lose my number,

823
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 2: block me please, But there is a little bit left

824
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 2: to this story. All right. From here, we decided that

825
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,440
Speaker 2: I'm officially no contact with her. Nice makes sense, and

826
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,479
Speaker 2: he is preparing for a temporary no contact to begin

827
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 2: after graduation. This is mainly because he wants to be

828
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 2: able to say goodbye to his grandma and get his

829
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 2: stuff from her house without causing problems. We still have

830
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 2: to see her at graduation, and she one hundred percent

831
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 2: will throw a tantrum, so I'm not looking forward to

832
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 2: the weekend. However, I feel a sense of peace that

833
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,760
Speaker 2: in two weeks she will be out of my life

834
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 2: and we will be starting a new life together in

835
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 2: a place surrounded by people who actually love us and

836
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 2: treat us with respect. Yeah, and that is the end

837
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 2: of that story. Here you go, just be rid, Be

838
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 2: rid of her. Yeah, be rid of her, Be rid

839
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 2: of her.

840
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:21,320
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to this episode.

841
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,880
Speaker 1: But a quick three minute break with Asramar sponsors.

842
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 2: My mother in law destroyed my hobby to make me

843
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 2: a real man. Well, what is this, moulin? What do

844
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 2: we do? I thirty eight male, live with my wife

845
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 2: thirty seven female, and my seven year old son. I

846
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 2: work as an engineer, and my wife is a senior

847
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 2: supervisor at a law firm. I have always loved lego

848
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 2: since I was a kid, and sure it's kind of childish,

849
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,680
Speaker 2: but it makes me happy, so I've kept it as

850
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:52,320
Speaker 2: a consistent hobby throughout my adult life. By the way,

851
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 2: this comes from Okay Repeat seventy eight eighty five and

852
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 2: if you want us men your own stories, go to

853
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 2: the RM slash Okay. Storytime subured it, so in twenty

854
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 2: twenty four, I spent months building the millennium falcon with

855
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:08,840
Speaker 2: my son. It's me and my son's pride and joy,

856
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,800
Speaker 2: and I often show guests who come over. My wife

857
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 2: doesn't really get the hype, but doesn't mind either. In

858
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:18,359
Speaker 2: early March, my wife's parents came over for a week

859
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 2: to spend time with us. They agreed, and I showed

860
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,720
Speaker 2: both her father and my and mother my millennium falcon.

861
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 2: Her father was amazed at the time it took to

862
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 2: build my sizeable collection, but her mother said that I

863
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,360
Speaker 2: was with a waste of time and that I should focus

864
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 2: on being a real man and move up the corporate ladder.

865
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 2: I laughed it off, but she's pretty old and I

866
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 2: figured she just held very old fashioned beliefs. We left

867
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 2: the room and nobody really mentioned it for a few hours.

868
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 2: But at dinner her mother said out of nowhere that

869
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,839
Speaker 2: I should give up on all this lego nonsense and

870
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:54,319
Speaker 2: be a real man. We ignored this and moved on,

871
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 2: but you could see in her expression that she was

872
00:38:56,840 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 2: not happy. Nobody said anything about it or the rest

873
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 2: of their stay, and all seem well. The morning they left.

874
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 2: They left at three am, geez to catch a flight,

875
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 2: and we waved them off. I went back to bed,

876
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 2: but the next morning awoke to find my millennium falcon

877
00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 2: smashed to pieces, with a note from my wife's mother,

878
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 2: calmly saying that this was for my own good, so

879
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,839
Speaker 2: that I can be a real man and focus on

880
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 2: what matters.

881
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 4: I agreed, though this was for his own good, because

882
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 4: he should do it best. Now he can rebuild the

883
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 4: millennium exactly.

884
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 2: It turns out she had quietly destroyed it in the

885
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 2: night and left in the morning. I called her in

886
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 2: the morning, but she refused to apologize. I said that

887
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 2: until she apologized, they would not be coming back again.

888
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:49,400
Speaker 2: My wife is not happy with my decision on this matter,

889
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 2: and honestly, I'm starting to wonder if I overreacted, did

890
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,799
Speaker 2: I go overboard or am I in the right? And

891
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 2: there are some comments and an update, but what a

892
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 2: use say coda? The amount of entitlement from the mother

893
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 2: in law? Crazy? How I mean? Also, this is like

894
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 2: something that his seven year old son built. Right, So

895
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 2: not only is she like making a statement towards tear

896
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 2: a weird statement towards ope, but she also just kind

897
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 2: of bullied a seven year old. Right.

898
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:22,360
Speaker 4: It'd be different a little bit if this was like,

899
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 4: you know, they're just dating, they're not married, they don't

900
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 4: have a kid. This is like his bachelor pad she's

901
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 4: seeing for the first time, and he's like, check out

902
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 4: my room with thousands of dollars of what are toys?

903
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 2: Yeah?

904
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,320
Speaker 4: Like yeah, I'd be like, hey, so when you marry

905
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:41,240
Speaker 4: my daughter, are you still gonna spend all this money?

906
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,400
Speaker 2: But it's different, it's different. That makes it and you

907
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 2: would still be wrong us. Yeah, absolutely absolutely, It would

908
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 2: just make a little bit more sense at least. But

909
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 2: there are some comments history chick ninety nine, she ruined

910
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 2: something you and your son did together. Regardless of her

911
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 2: feelings about you, she actively did something that hurt her grandchild.

912
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 2: That right, there is grounds to not allow her in

913
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:06,799
Speaker 2: your home or have a relationship with your child. Your

914
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:09,399
Speaker 2: wife needs to think of how disrespected you were as

915
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,359
Speaker 2: an entire family unit. If she doesn't back you up

916
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:15,280
Speaker 2: with this, then you have some serious issues. Good luck, dude.

917
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:18,359
Speaker 2: Not the ale and dumbley hopeful says the wife let

918
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,600
Speaker 2: her mother tell him he wasn't a real man at dinner,

919
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:25,680
Speaker 2: likely in front of their child, and said nothing. That

920
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:28,400
Speaker 2: is a great point, Yeah, like why why are you

921
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 2: defining what a man is? And also, you know, putting

922
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:34,919
Speaker 2: down a child's father in front of the child.

923
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 4: Well, if this is how mother in law is, can

924
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,759
Speaker 4: you imagine growing up with that for however many years?

925
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:45,280
Speaker 2: I wonder if she has any siblings. The wife, hmmm,

926
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,839
Speaker 2: I would be rethinking my relationship if I rope oh.

927
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 2: Research sixty nine says, yeah. I don't often get on

928
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 2: the divorce bandwagon, and I'm not now. I was about

929
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 2: to say, I was like, whoa, but geez oh, you

930
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 2: are supposed to support and look after one another. Why

931
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 2: on earth would Op's wife allow this behavior unless she

932
00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 2: secretly agrees with her mother.

933
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 4: I mean that's also I feel there's two highly likely possibilities.

934
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 2: One she can't stand up to her mom and to

935
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:18,240
Speaker 2: is that she agrees. Clotzi Contest says, respecting someone else's

936
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:22,120
Speaker 2: property is common decency. Correct, You and your son invested

937
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 2: time and interest in a hobby that brings you joy.

938
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 2: That is just as, if not more important, as increasing

939
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,400
Speaker 2: your earning potential. When your son is an adult, he

940
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 2: will retain memories of the time you spent together. Gaslight

941
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,920
Speaker 2: Gbt says, let gma know that she just ruined her

942
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,720
Speaker 2: image of herself to grandson for the rest of his life.

943
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:46,399
Speaker 2: Eleanor of Aquitaine. When I was six, my grandmother threw

944
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 2: away one of my hot wheel sets because I'm a

945
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 2: girl and girls have no business collecting toy cars. I

946
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 2: still think of her as a bet granny and she's

947
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:01,320
Speaker 2: been gone for almost twenty years. There is an update.

948
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 2: First off, I want to thank everyone for the outpouring

949
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 2: of support. I had a good long talk with my

950
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 2: wife in an attempt to resolve the situation, and we've

951
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 2: called the mother in law, which I hoped would diffuse

952
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 2: the situation and bring things back down to earth. Instead,

953
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:21,640
Speaker 2: tensions have seemed only to have escalated. Oh no, for

954
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 2: anyone who didn't see the original post. My wife's parents

955
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:26,879
Speaker 2: came to visit for a week, in which things went

956
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 2: relatively smoothly, aside from some disparaging comments about my lego

957
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 2: collection from the mother in law. But after they left

958
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 2: in the night, we discovered the Millennium falcon destroyed, with

959
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,439
Speaker 2: a note from my mother in law saying she did

960
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:42,359
Speaker 2: this so that I can move on and be a

961
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 2: real man. The craziest part, I think, to me, is

962
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 2: the note right like I did it. Yes, it was

963
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:55,799
Speaker 2: me all along, the audacity. Firstly, after lunch, my wife

964
00:43:55,840 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 2: and I discussed the situation adult to adult. I expressed

965
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:02,880
Speaker 2: my feelings of her not being behind me in this.

966
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 2: She admitted to having harbord feelings against my lego collection.

967
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 2: She also admitted to secretly agreeing partially with her mother.

968
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:17,920
Speaker 2: She doesn't think that my mother in law should have

969
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:20,719
Speaker 2: gone as far as she did, but according to my wife,

970
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:23,360
Speaker 2: I need to move on. I feel hurt by this

971
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 2: since it's been my lifelong hobby and being an engineer,

972
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:30,360
Speaker 2: I take great joy in building various creations with legos.

973
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 4: Just imagine she's like, you need to move on. You're

974
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 4: making our child childish. You need to sit down with

975
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,320
Speaker 4: him and teach him how to do taxis.

976
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 2: I don't understand seven years old. Also, I yeah, he

977
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:45,080
Speaker 2: can't bet once a checkbook. I don't know why. I

978
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 2: don't get why adults are so boring sometimes, you know,

979
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:52,400
Speaker 2: some adults a hand out of it, like you can't

980
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 2: that's that's a certain age limit for that thing, and

981
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 2: it's like, okay, is it hurting anyone? After that, my

982
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 2: wife and I I were certainly not in agreement, but

983
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:05,240
Speaker 2: we were at least on the same page. We also

984
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,319
Speaker 2: both wanted to resolve things with my mother in law,

985
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 2: so that day we called her mother and things did

986
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 2: not go well, to say the least. I simply told

987
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 2: her that I was sorry I had to not let

988
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 2: her come back, and I hope things can be resolved quickly.

989
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 2: Still feeling upset about the Lego millennium, falcon, I said

990
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:26,840
Speaker 2: that all I asked of her was an apology. She refused,

991
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:29,360
Speaker 2: saying that if she bends for me at all, I

992
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,959
Speaker 2: would never get over my lego obsession. Jee.

993
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 4: Hey, newsflash, mother in law, even if you don't bend,

994
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,880
Speaker 4: I'm not getting over it. Yep, you just won't be

995
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 4: able to see me or your ever grandchild. That's the

996
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 4: craziest thing here. Yeah, everyone's forgetting. There is a seven

997
00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 4: year old involved who also enjoys legos.

998
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:51,040
Speaker 2: My wife is not happy with any of this, and frankly,

999
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:54,320
Speaker 2: the marriage is starting to show tension, which worries me greatly.

1000
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,359
Speaker 2: She seems to be more distant after all of this.

1001
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:00,799
Speaker 2: I think maybe you go to her and say, I mean, yes,

1002
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 2: this is my hobby, but also this is something that

1003
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,879
Speaker 2: I enjoy doing with our son, who is seven. Are

1004
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 2: you going to deprive the seven year old of the

1005
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 2: legos too?

1006
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:12,239
Speaker 4: Not to mention, millions of other people all over the

1007
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 4: world enjoy this.

1008
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.

1009
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 4: She's she's acting like you, you know, she's acting like

1010
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 4: you're like you're you're crawling around on the floor like

1011
00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 4: a baby, fling with.

1012
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 2: It's like, no, you're literally building something, tunt like. There's

1013
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:29,880
Speaker 2: so many adults that, I mean, like stage designers in

1014
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:34,439
Speaker 2: theater builds like little tiny sets and they buy little

1015
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:36,920
Speaker 2: tiny things, and that's like an job like this is

1016
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:40,360
Speaker 2: you're building something. It's not so weird. She seems to

1017
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 2: be more distant after all of this. By the way,

1018
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:46,440
Speaker 2: you shouldn't be distant to us because you can listen

1019
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 2: to full episodes of stories just like this. Just go

1020
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 2: to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio in search of Looky

1021
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 2: story Time. But we've got a little bit left to

1022
00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:59,919
Speaker 2: this story. Do you have any final thought?

1023
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 4: I don't know if this is like a divorce situation yet. No,

1024
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 4: it's clearly like a hey, we need to get on

1025
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 4: the same page because nay, you know, we have a kid.

1026
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,320
Speaker 4: I'm your husband, and now you've said some stuff that

1027
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:14,279
Speaker 4: makes me think like you don't respect me?

1028
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, or you so like I mean, this

1029
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,839
Speaker 2: is a woman who's been raised by her mother her

1030
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 2: whole life, and her mother has these ideas about what

1031
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:28,279
Speaker 2: a man is and what a man cannot do, and

1032
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 2: she's probably, you know, been taught that that's the correct,

1033
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:35,600
Speaker 2: Like the Opie's wife has been taught that that's correct,

1034
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:38,360
Speaker 2: and now she's putting all of that on op and

1035
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:41,959
Speaker 2: he's like, whoa, where did all this come from? Yeah?

1036
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:45,799
Speaker 4: I would just like, you know, try to have a

1037
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 4: non confrontational conversation.

1038
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:49,839
Speaker 2: Where you just go, okay, so where does this really

1039
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:52,279
Speaker 2: come from? Yeah? You know, like where do you think

1040
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 2: that I am not spending enough time with you. Do

1041
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 2: you think that I am not doing a good enough

1042
00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:01,239
Speaker 2: job like with work, Yeah, it is. There's something that

1043
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 2: I am lacking hammer home. Also, it's an activity you

1044
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:08,280
Speaker 2: do with your son. Yes, yeah, like truly. I mean again,

1045
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 2: it does it. It shouldn't matter, But I think maybe

1046
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:14,040
Speaker 2: one way to get through to your wife is by

1047
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,239
Speaker 2: saying that it's an activity you do with your son.

1048
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:20,879
Speaker 2: My son has developed a strong disliking of the mother

1049
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,960
Speaker 2: in law, and I really can't blame him. She has

1050
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:26,279
Speaker 2: been getting a little crazy and seems to only talk

1051
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:30,800
Speaker 2: about Trump these days. Yeah, it makes sense. Okay, should

1052
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 2: we start considering a senior home for Yeah, so that's

1053
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:37,120
Speaker 2: the update. Things are getting even worse and I'm not

1054
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:40,480
Speaker 2: sure if I can salvage the situation. I'll update everyone

1055
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 2: when new develops, developments occur, and there are some final comments.

1056
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:50,480
Speaker 2: Baby Toe's Salami seems like some deeper issues here than legos.

1057
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 2: My guess would be that your mother in law's actions

1058
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 2: and words are based on things that your wife has

1059
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 2: said to her. Mother in law went off the rails,

1060
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:02,240
Speaker 2: but your wife likely lit the use. Go molistic says

1061
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,680
Speaker 2: I agree. I think the wife is more complicit than

1062
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 2: Opie thinks, I wouldn't even be shocked if the wife

1063
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 2: asked her mom to do that. Even if she didn't

1064
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 2: do that, wife is clearly complaining a lot to her

1065
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 2: mother about this. I recommend marriage counseling. Stat The other

1066
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,799
Speaker 2: piece of this is the son now disliking grandma who

1067
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 2: destroyed the project's son and dad worked on and bonded over.

1068
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:27,839
Speaker 2: If mom agrees with Grandma that it was warranted, how

1069
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:31,880
Speaker 2: long before the son pulls away from his mother? Pouty

1070
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:36,360
Speaker 2: Ting says, how ethan stupid. The wife has no place

1071
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 2: telling him what hobbies he can or can't do, unless

1072
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:42,239
Speaker 2: it's affecting their finances or getting an Opie's way of

1073
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:44,680
Speaker 2: fulfilling adult responsibilities. That's what I was saying. I was

1074
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 2: about to say that too. I was like, well, I

1075
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 2: was like, if.

1076
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:50,040
Speaker 4: His hobby is gambling all of their money away at

1077
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 4: the casino, you might have a problem with that.

1078
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:55,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fair. I couldn't imagine if my wife tried

1079
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:57,880
Speaker 2: to take from me the one thing that reconnects me

1080
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:00,839
Speaker 2: to my inner child or to my son. Honestly, that's

1081
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 2: breakup material for me. Raising at nineteen sixty two says

1082
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 2: this poor kid, his grandma breaks something you spent hours

1083
00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 2: helping to build, well like months months helping to build. Yeah,

1084
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:15,680
Speaker 2: I mean it was it was weeks and weeks Yeah,

1085
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 2: and his mom is on granny side. Mother search says,

1086
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,719
Speaker 2: it's the disrespect your wife has for you and the

1087
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:23,920
Speaker 2: fact that she didn't give an f that this was

1088
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:27,960
Speaker 2: something that you spent time on and bonded over with

1089
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,759
Speaker 2: your son. That's the problem. I think.

1090
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,840
Speaker 4: I get it what wife's looking at the price tag

1091
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 4: and going do what, oh like that have eight seventy

1092
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:38,880
Speaker 4: five dollars film Millennium Falcon.

1093
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:39,800
Speaker 2: I get it. It's a hobby.

1094
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:41,359
Speaker 4: I get it that you can do it with our

1095
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,880
Speaker 4: son eight hundred and seventy five dollars.

1096
00:50:44,239 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 2: We could all go on vacation. Well, then that's the

1097
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:49,279
Speaker 2: well that's what she needs to bring up then, right.

1098
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:52,000
Speaker 2: It shouldn't just be like, oh, your hobby with the child,

1099
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 2: and she should be like, hey, I you know, I

1100
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:57,359
Speaker 2: feel like we should be saving some money here, like

1101
00:50:57,560 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 2: you don't have to necessarily give up legos, but maybe

1102
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 2: we go for the cheaper ones.

1103
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:05,359
Speaker 4: Yes, maybe don't buy the yeah lego set.

1104
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:07,440
Speaker 2: You know, she didn't give an f about how this

1105
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 2: had affected her son. She didn't give an f and

1106
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,799
Speaker 2: has no respect for your work as an engineer and

1107
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:15,000
Speaker 2: seems to think it is not a real man's job.

1108
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 2: You are focused on thinking that you have a mother

1109
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:20,400
Speaker 2: in law problem, but you actually have a wife problem.

1110
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:24,160
Speaker 2: I'm willing to bet good odds that her mother's behavior

1111
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:26,799
Speaker 2: has been fueled by your wife, and that's why she

1112
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:28,759
Speaker 2: had the audacity to do what she did.

1113
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:31,640
Speaker 4: I think it's probably the other way around, but regardless

1114
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 4: a degree, it's a wife problem. Forget the mother in law,

1115
00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:36,560
Speaker 4: she doesn't matter. Fix your relationship with your wife.

1116
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 2: Neither of them even care about what they are doing

1117
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 2: to your son with their behavior. They deliberately destroyed something

1118
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:47,880
Speaker 2: that was not just materially valuable to him, but also

1119
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 2: emotionally significant, a project that he had built with his

1120
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 2: father that he was proud of. You and your wife

1121
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,680
Speaker 2: need to have a proper come to Jesus talk about

1122
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 2: the state of your relationship and why she is so

1123
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:02,719
Speaker 2: nonchalant about her mother's wane destruction of something that meant

1124
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:06,000
Speaker 2: so much to her own son. And that is the

1125
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:07,040
Speaker 2: end of that story.

1126
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:11,200
Speaker 4: Yes, and I do maintain the path forward here as

1127
00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 4: the lego enthusiasts. Yeah to you know, because i mean

1128
00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 4: I'm thinking if I'm that age and I made something

1129
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 4: like that and it got destroyed, I'd be destroyed.

1130
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:21,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would cry. But it's just like, dude, round two,

1131
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:23,840
Speaker 2: we get to do it again. Yeah, well, I think awesome.

1132
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:25,880
Speaker 2: I think that's how you kind of pitch it to

1133
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:28,480
Speaker 2: your son. You're exactly. Yeah, it really sucks. It really

1134
00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 2: stinks that grandma you know, did that. But but that's okay.

1135
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 2: We can rebuild in and that's so much fun.

1136
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:35,799
Speaker 4: And you can turn it into a life lesson. It's like, hey,

1137
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:37,880
Speaker 4: you get knocked down, you know, back to stay down

1138
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:40,240
Speaker 4: there forever. We rebuild that puppy.

1139
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:43,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, round up. It's a metaphor. And then you go, son,

1140
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:46,319
Speaker 2: I know you're seven and you don't understand what a

1141
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:49,760
Speaker 2: metaphor is, but you're about to learn. To be honest,

1142
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:52,680
Speaker 2: I feel like if you spend eight hundred dollars, you

1143
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:55,120
Speaker 2: would want to get some use out of that. Yeah.

1144
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:57,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean like you have to have a battle,

1145
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:01,000
Speaker 4: have it fly around, maybe run it into a star destroyer. Yeah,

1146
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 4: make the destruction. Like then you got to separate the

1147
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:07,960
Speaker 4: pieces for each set. I think durred said, what if

1148
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 4: the uh, what if the pieces are broken? Another great

1149
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 4: opportunity to teach a life lesson. Yeah, sometimes you just

1150
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:17,799
Speaker 4: got to keep moving forward. Glue, We'll figure it out

1151
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:19,719
Speaker 4: to the best we can keep moving forward.

1152
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 2: Good thing about legos though, hard to break those pieces,

1153
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:26,399
Speaker 2: it is, Yeah, I mean some of them, some of them.

1154
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:29,560
Speaker 4: If this woman actually smashed this and then like broke

1155
00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 4: all the important pieces and that's embarrassing, I'm taking her

1156
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:36,439
Speaker 4: to court. Yeah, I'd be like, well she she wasted. Yeah,

1157
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:39,040
Speaker 4: that's like eight hundred dollars. Yeah, eight hundred dollars plus

1158
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:44,400
Speaker 4: emotional damages for my son. My husband's cousin keeps insulting me.

1159
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 4: It's driving me crazy.

1160
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:49,320
Speaker 2: Insult them back. It's time.

1161
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:52,719
Speaker 4: I thirty one female, had a breakdown at my husband's

1162
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:57,399
Speaker 4: families New Year's Eve and attacked his step cousin. Wait

1163
00:53:57,440 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 4: what now, I'm a shamed to look at my in laws.

1164
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from.

1165
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:07,319
Speaker 4: Zumodele Moncito thirteen and if you want to submit your

1166
00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:09,840
Speaker 4: own stories, go to the ur slash Okay Storytime subrenit So.

1167
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:14,080
Speaker 4: I'm thirty one female Colombian married to a forty year

1168
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:17,160
Speaker 4: old man. My husband is British and his stepfather is

1169
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 4: a Moroccan man. We live in Colombia, but every year

1170
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:22,319
Speaker 4: we and our kids travel to the UK to spend

1171
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 4: New Year's Eve with his family. I've been with my

1172
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:28,360
Speaker 4: husband for nearly eight years. He was raised by his

1173
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 4: stepfather and he is the only father he ever knew.

1174
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:34,160
Speaker 4: My father in law is a great man with a

1175
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:39,279
Speaker 4: big family. But since I started dating my SOO, his

1176
00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:43,239
Speaker 4: step cousin let's call her Amira, has been nothing but

1177
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:48,880
Speaker 4: hostile and cruel. She is always antagonizing me, talking about

1178
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 4: how I'm with my husband because he's from a superior race.

1179
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 2: What what does your husband doing that? I'm sorry if

1180
00:54:58,239 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 2: anyone ever said any thing to like that to a

1181
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:05,000
Speaker 2: friend or a I mean, like just anyone. But like

1182
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:08,480
Speaker 2: if I'm hearing that, I'm saying, get out and don't

1183
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:09,439
Speaker 2: let me ever see you.

1184
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:12,200
Speaker 4: Right again, we don't know if this was said like

1185
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:15,480
Speaker 4: behind closed doors or in like a quiet moment.

1186
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:17,240
Speaker 2: Yeah maybe, Op's just like I'm.

1187
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:18,799
Speaker 4: Not even gonna like give her I'm not gonna make

1188
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:19,960
Speaker 4: a big deal out of that because I'm not even

1189
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 4: gonna give her power in this moment. But let's keep

1190
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:26,440
Speaker 4: the reading. She would say how my husband's only with

1191
00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:30,239
Speaker 4: me because of my money and calling me various slurs.

1192
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:33,680
Speaker 4: I'm a mix of Turkish, Brazilian and Colombian heritage. She

1193
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:37,399
Speaker 4: likes to point to her and his pure blood.

1194
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:44,080
Speaker 2: Get out of here, Get out of here. I'd be like, yeah, hey, husband,

1195
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 2: I don't want to ever be around yourst cousin because

1196
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:51,120
Speaker 2: they're ritist. Every time we go over and see them.

1197
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 4: For years, everyone in the family has fought with her

1198
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:58,479
Speaker 4: about it. Sadly, my in laws are her guardians since

1199
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:01,440
Speaker 4: she has no parents, so I have to meet her

1200
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:05,680
Speaker 4: every time we meet them. About five years ago, after

1201
00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 4: years of fighting, I was formally diagnosed with autism and

1202
00:56:10,239 --> 00:56:11,400
Speaker 4: bipolar disorder.

1203
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:13,520
Speaker 2: The last one is a family thing.

1204
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:17,879
Speaker 4: Since then, I've been using specific medication along with the

1205
00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:20,759
Speaker 4: therapy I already had to manage it with both of

1206
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:24,000
Speaker 4: my disorders. I've always had some triggers to many people,

1207
00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:29,360
Speaker 4: fireworks for an extended period, certain foods and fabrics, and loud,

1208
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:33,120
Speaker 4: scratchy sounds. I've adapted myself to many things and can

1209
00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:37,880
Speaker 4: navigate well. Since the day we arrived, however, Amira has

1210
00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:40,759
Speaker 4: been extremely hostile. My sister in law said that she

1211
00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:45,360
Speaker 4: recently ended a relationship and she's aggressive towards everyone. But

1212
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:47,520
Speaker 4: it's been extreme. Why are we hanging out with her?

1213
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:49,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm asking.

1214
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:52,360
Speaker 4: Hopefully we'll get some information on why this person is

1215
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:54,240
Speaker 4: tolerated to this level.

1216
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:56,759
Speaker 2: For God's sakes, So it's been extreme.

1217
00:56:57,760 --> 00:57:01,160
Speaker 4: She accidentally and I'm gonnaut air quotes around that broke

1218
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:04,040
Speaker 4: my favorite perfume, threatened to cut my daughter's hair when

1219
00:57:04,040 --> 00:57:07,759
Speaker 4: she wouldn't let Amira touch it, and constantly played spider

1220
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:09,479
Speaker 4: tricks on my eldest son.

1221
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:14,719
Speaker 2: Spider trick, Spider trick? What is that? What is it?

1222
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:19,440
Speaker 4: My husband, mother in law, and father in law spoke

1223
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:23,320
Speaker 4: to a Mirah several times. On the thirty first New

1224
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:26,400
Speaker 4: Year's Eve, as usual, my in laws through a big party.

1225
00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:29,240
Speaker 4: I wore a white dress, matching my family. We were

1226
00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:33,120
Speaker 4: enjoying ourselves until my sister in law realized Amrah was

1227
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:36,720
Speaker 4: wasted well before midnight. She looked at me and start

1228
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:39,960
Speaker 4: saying that she couldn't believe that her cousin married a

1229
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:43,040
Speaker 4: Latin witch, that I was a vulgar woman, that he

1230
00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:44,760
Speaker 4: was only with me for my money, and that he

1231
00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:47,320
Speaker 4: should leave me and be with a real woman. That

1232
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:50,959
Speaker 4: it was a disgrace for the family that he had

1233
00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:55,960
Speaker 4: children with someone from my race. So all of you

1234
00:57:56,040 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 4: are bad now, yeah for not just kicking a Mira out.

1235
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:03,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I honestly, at a certain point, even

1236
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 2: if you are like, oh, like, we always tell her off.

1237
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:10,840
Speaker 2: We always say like, you can't say that, even if

1238
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:14,680
Speaker 2: you're doing that. If you continue to invite a person

1239
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:19,120
Speaker 2: who you know is raised and who verbally attacks a

1240
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:21,560
Speaker 2: person in your family who is of a different race,

1241
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:27,800
Speaker 2: then you are the ale, right, You're the ale. You

1242
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:30,120
Speaker 2: invited her. I don't care if you're saying, hey, Maara,

1243
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 2: you can't say that you keep inviting her. I hate

1244
00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:38,560
Speaker 2: this woman. Yeah, she says no. And husband, if you

1245
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:41,400
Speaker 2: don't get active, I'm gonna hate you too. I already

1246
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:42,200
Speaker 2: hate him a little bit.

1247
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 4: I burst into tears and she started laughing. I don't

1248
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,640
Speaker 4: know what came over me, but I've put up with

1249
00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:52,920
Speaker 4: her for years, and she talked about my children. I snapped,

1250
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:55,360
Speaker 4: I hit her, and my husband and father in law

1251
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:59,000
Speaker 4: had to separate us. I ran to my room and

1252
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 4: locked myself in. I've been here ever since, but I

1253
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:05,360
Speaker 4: can't even look at my children. I feel awful I'm

1254
00:59:05,360 --> 00:59:08,200
Speaker 4: not a bad person, but I exploded in front of everyone.

1255
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:10,960
Speaker 4: How do I get over it? We have an edit

1256
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:16,080
Speaker 4: for clarification. First of all, my husband did defend me, okay,

1257
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 4: and his parents and sister. Also, our yearly vacation to

1258
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:22,880
Speaker 4: his family country is something that is important to me too.

1259
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:26,840
Speaker 4: Amira's case is a bit more complicated. She was orphaned

1260
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:29,960
Speaker 4: of her father early and her mother sent her to

1261
00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:33,440
Speaker 4: my father in law. She was always a very problematic girl.

1262
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:36,200
Speaker 4: I do believe she likes my husband, or at least

1263
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:40,000
Speaker 4: what he represents stability and money and also a paternal figure.

1264
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:43,040
Speaker 4: She never was this constant in offending me, but I

1265
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:46,160
Speaker 4: think her breakup has made her more snappy and dangerous.

1266
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:49,240
Speaker 4: She also has a drinking problem. When she started, my

1267
00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:51,080
Speaker 4: mother in law took her to the other room and

1268
00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:54,200
Speaker 4: reprimanded her. But she came back later and then I snapped.

1269
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:56,880
Speaker 4: I whacked her and shoved her on the floor.

1270
00:59:57,320 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 2: Justified crash at Yeah, yeah, it's I mean years of

1271
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,520
Speaker 2: the thing is like, you know, we're always saying don't

1272
01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:09,920
Speaker 2: we know known violence? We don't. But when you say crap,

1273
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 2: expect to get hit. You can't just get away with

1274
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:17,160
Speaker 2: saying crazy stuff and think there's gotta be no.

1275
01:00:17,160 --> 01:00:19,400
Speaker 4: God's goods when you poke the bear with a stick

1276
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:22,440
Speaker 4: and it can't be surprised when it mauls. Yeah, come on,

1277
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 4: they know that if they stop supporting or they kick

1278
01:00:26,320 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 4: her out and they just let her go and they

1279
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:31,200
Speaker 4: stop helping her and supporting her because of her behavior,

1280
01:00:31,560 --> 01:00:34,520
Speaker 4: that she's going to absolutely like fall off the cliff,

1281
01:00:34,560 --> 01:00:37,200
Speaker 4: like her life. She's going to her destitute, she's gonna

1282
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:40,600
Speaker 4: be And it's like now they feel they can't be

1283
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:44,840
Speaker 4: responsible for putting her in that position. No, that's where

1284
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:45,040
Speaker 4: this is.

1285
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:46,880
Speaker 2: I think that's probably, I mean, that's why she has

1286
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:50,200
Speaker 2: guardians and she's twenty five. Probably, But the thing is

1287
01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:53,560
Speaker 2: they don't need to, like they don't need to invite

1288
01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:57,440
Speaker 2: these people or at least her to every family thing. Right. No,

1289
01:00:57,560 --> 01:00:59,840
Speaker 2: it's as soon as it's like I get out.

1290
01:01:00,560 --> 01:01:03,560
Speaker 4: I felt ashamed because in all those years, no one,

1291
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:06,840
Speaker 4: not even my husband, had seen me snap. When I

1292
01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:08,960
Speaker 4: was a teenager, I let my anger out sometimes and

1293
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:11,880
Speaker 4: had very intense reactions, and today I know it was

1294
01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:15,760
Speaker 4: from my bipolar disorder. Also, even today, I'm afraid of

1295
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:18,960
Speaker 4: any big emotion, too much anger or happiness or sadness.

1296
01:01:19,160 --> 01:01:21,560
Speaker 4: I'm scared because I don't know if I will know

1297
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:26,160
Speaker 4: how to deal with those feelings. So to finally snap

1298
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:29,520
Speaker 4: was something serious. She could talk about me all she wants.

1299
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:32,760
Speaker 4: I know how to defend myself, but she came after

1300
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:36,280
Speaker 4: my children. As for my family, I finally got out

1301
01:01:36,320 --> 01:01:39,080
Speaker 4: of my bedroom. I've been refusing to talk to anyone,

1302
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:40,680
Speaker 4: but now I told my hobby that me and the

1303
01:01:40,760 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 4: children are going home. He says he will come to

1304
01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:46,320
Speaker 4: my father in law asked for a family reunion. I

1305
01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:47,959
Speaker 4: don't know, dude, but Amir a better not either.

1306
01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:50,800
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think you have to put your foot down

1307
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:53,800
Speaker 2: and say that one she threatened to cut my child's

1308
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 2: hair off. We are not. We will like we would

1309
01:01:57,040 --> 01:01:59,320
Speaker 2: love to see you guys, but not going anywhere where

1310
01:01:59,360 --> 01:01:59,840
Speaker 2: a Mir is.

1311
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:02,320
Speaker 4: She can say all the vicious stuff about me as

1312
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:05,360
Speaker 4: she wants you saying stuff about my kids. Yeah, nope,

1313
01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:07,160
Speaker 4: about your grandkids.

1314
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:08,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1315
01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:11,480
Speaker 4: My husband is currently looking for tickets to Bogata. Apparently

1316
01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:14,280
Speaker 4: we won't be able to get them until tomorrow or Friday.

1317
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:16,640
Speaker 4: But until then we're staying in a hotel. I haven't

1318
01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 4: seen Amira yet, and God knows it's for the best.

1319
01:02:19,280 --> 01:02:23,400
Speaker 4: I made him read all of your comments, especially about

1320
01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:26,440
Speaker 4: the lack of action, and he was very disappointed in himself.

1321
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:29,240
Speaker 4: It was an admission of guilt and he sees now

1322
01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:32,520
Speaker 4: how he failed me and our family. Good well, thank god.

1323
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 4: Our children are five and three. Our little girl told

1324
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:38,040
Speaker 4: him how Aunt Amira said she was going to cut

1325
01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:40,680
Speaker 4: her hair because ugly girls don't deserve to have long hair.

1326
01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:43,720
Speaker 4: My daughter has blonde hair like my mom, very straight

1327
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:46,360
Speaker 4: and long. My son told us that she said my

1328
01:02:46,440 --> 01:02:48,640
Speaker 4: husband was leaving and she was going to throw them

1329
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 4: both out. God knows if they'd told me that before,

1330
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:55,560
Speaker 4: that woman wouldn't be breathing. We talked for a long time.

1331
01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:58,600
Speaker 4: I set my limits. We're going home on the first flight.

1332
01:02:58,880 --> 01:03:01,240
Speaker 4: We'll stay in a hotel until that. I don't want

1333
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:06,040
Speaker 4: to see his cousin ever again, and I won't apologize,

1334
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:08,680
Speaker 4: and I refuse to have contact or let my children

1335
01:03:08,720 --> 01:03:11,400
Speaker 4: have contact with my in laws if Amera continues to

1336
01:03:11,440 --> 01:03:13,760
Speaker 4: be treated like a child without limits.

1337
01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 2: Fair. Yeah, all of that was fully fair. Yep.

1338
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:22,720
Speaker 4: Comments Comment number one is Jejajmin stupid or something?

1339
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:25,080
Speaker 2: Did he defend you at all?

1340
01:03:25,640 --> 01:03:28,400
Speaker 4: Why did he let his family member berate you so

1341
01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:31,280
Speaker 4: loudly the very first time she insulted you. He should

1342
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:33,560
Speaker 4: have said something or you both should have left. And

1343
01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:34,720
Speaker 4: what in the world of.

1344
01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:38,400
Speaker 2: Harry Potter magic versus this pure blood? What are you

1345
01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:39,560
Speaker 2: a mud blood?

1346
01:03:40,480 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 4: And you've been putting up with this for years while

1347
01:03:42,680 --> 01:03:45,960
Speaker 4: your husband and in laws made anemic noises at a mirror,

1348
01:03:46,760 --> 01:03:50,040
Speaker 4: so not on. First of all, you were not at

1349
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:53,240
Speaker 4: fault by a very long mile, by a country mile.

1350
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:54,200
Speaker 1: Uh.

1351
01:03:54,920 --> 01:03:57,320
Speaker 4: You have been more graceful in the handling of this

1352
01:03:57,400 --> 01:03:58,760
Speaker 4: than any vile.

1353
01:04:00,120 --> 01:04:00,480
Speaker 2: Deserve.

1354
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:04,720
Speaker 4: Secondly, it was your husband's responsibility to stand up and

1355
01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:07,160
Speaker 4: step in front of you when his cousin started spewing

1356
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:09,200
Speaker 4: such filth, and he didn't.

1357
01:04:09,600 --> 01:04:10,640
Speaker 2: Your in laws let.

1358
01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:13,760
Speaker 4: Their ward insult their daughter in law for years. These

1359
01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:15,720
Speaker 4: are the people that ought to be ashamed for. They

1360
01:04:15,720 --> 01:04:18,280
Speaker 4: have much to answer for. You deserve better.

1361
01:04:18,920 --> 01:04:19,240
Speaker 2: O p.

1362
01:04:20,080 --> 01:04:23,360
Speaker 4: She says, it's because I'm a daughter of a Brazilian

1363
01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:26,080
Speaker 4: mom and a Colombian slash Turkish dad.

1364
01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 2: She says, my blood is way too mixed. And there's

1365
01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:32,120
Speaker 2: an update. Yeah, well, we already know that Amir is insane.

1366
01:04:32,200 --> 01:04:35,160
Speaker 2: We don't have to care what this idiot thinks about anything. Yeah,

1367
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:39,560
Speaker 2: like literally doesn't like block her out the problem. Amir

1368
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:44,600
Speaker 2: obviously is an insane, horrible person. Put her to the side.

1369
01:04:45,080 --> 01:04:46,920
Speaker 2: If we want to fix the situation, we talked to

1370
01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:49,120
Speaker 2: the sane people in the story and say, hausband, why

1371
01:04:49,160 --> 01:04:51,600
Speaker 2: are we Why have we been going around this person.

1372
01:04:52,280 --> 01:04:53,760
Speaker 2: My family and I are in a hotel.

1373
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:56,440
Speaker 4: Tomorrow we're going to Bogata, and last night we had

1374
01:04:56,480 --> 01:05:01,040
Speaker 4: a family reunion. When Amira calm down, my in laws

1375
01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:05,720
Speaker 4: talk to her again. She repeated her statements, and she

1376
01:05:05,880 --> 01:05:08,440
Speaker 4: said that I was just as flawed as she is,

1377
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:11,080
Speaker 4: but that life had treated me well and given me

1378
01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:14,280
Speaker 4: everything on a silver platter. Amira also said that my

1379
01:05:14,360 --> 01:05:17,280
Speaker 4: husband shouldn't have married me, nor should he have had children,

1380
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:20,000
Speaker 4: because it was obvious they would be like me. My

1381
01:05:20,080 --> 01:05:21,920
Speaker 4: mother in law then asked who he should have married.

1382
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:24,080
Speaker 4: She said that if he wanted to rescue someone so badly,

1383
01:05:24,120 --> 01:05:25,080
Speaker 4: it could have been her.

1384
01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:29,320
Speaker 2: She would have appreciated the help, like it would have

1385
01:05:29,320 --> 01:05:30,960
Speaker 2: been nice if he married me.

1386
01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:35,000
Speaker 4: I don't know, It's just a thought, just like when

1387
01:05:35,040 --> 01:05:38,560
Speaker 4: people say the most pathetic thing you've ever heard, like

1388
01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:43,440
Speaker 4: do they not feel it at all? Back at the meeting,

1389
01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:46,400
Speaker 4: a few points were raised. My children and I will

1390
01:05:46,440 --> 01:05:50,240
Speaker 4: preserve ourselves. If Amira stays in the house, we won't come.

1391
01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:51,120
Speaker 2: Yep. Good.

1392
01:05:51,240 --> 01:05:52,920
Speaker 4: At this point, my in laws have told me that

1393
01:05:52,960 --> 01:05:56,360
Speaker 4: they've already started the process to have Amira reevaluated and

1394
01:05:56,400 --> 01:06:00,360
Speaker 4: possibly hospitalized. Look, I was gonna make a joker earlier

1395
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:03,880
Speaker 4: about maybe, you know, if we could put one person

1396
01:06:03,880 --> 01:06:06,360
Speaker 4: in a sanitarium, in just that one person, it should

1397
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:09,400
Speaker 4: be her, because sanitariums are awful, and that's why they

1398
01:06:09,400 --> 01:06:11,200
Speaker 4: don't exist anymore, because they were criminal.

1399
01:06:11,600 --> 01:06:14,320
Speaker 2: The thing is, I think she's having I think she

1400
01:06:14,480 --> 01:06:19,240
Speaker 2: is severely mentally ill. Yes, I think she's Yeah, I agree.

1401
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:22,440
Speaker 2: I think this is like you see, like, for example,

1402
01:06:22,480 --> 01:06:25,720
Speaker 2: you have a very famous singer who'says about crazy things

1403
01:06:25,760 --> 01:06:28,760
Speaker 2: and people just let them say it. But it's like

1404
01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:33,280
Speaker 2: that person needs medication, that person should not Like why

1405
01:06:33,320 --> 01:06:38,280
Speaker 2: are we like uplifting that person instead of yeah, instead

1406
01:06:38,280 --> 01:06:41,480
Speaker 2: of like you know, putting them in a place where

1407
01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:45,400
Speaker 2: they cannot hurt themselves or others. This is, you know,

1408
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:47,840
Speaker 2: she needs she needs mental help.

1409
01:06:48,040 --> 01:06:50,440
Speaker 4: So if a Mira stays in the house or we

1410
01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:53,120
Speaker 4: won't come. At this point, my in laws have told

1411
01:06:53,120 --> 01:06:55,040
Speaker 4: me that they've already started the process to have a

1412
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:59,480
Speaker 4: Mira reevaluated and possibly hospitalized. My sister in law has

1413
01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:02,520
Speaker 4: been collected evidence of her behavior and according to the therapist,

1414
01:07:02,960 --> 01:07:05,240
Speaker 4: she has a good chance of becoming a patient in

1415
01:07:05,280 --> 01:07:06,320
Speaker 4: a sanatorium.

1416
01:07:06,720 --> 01:07:12,840
Speaker 2: Oh my god, to those aren't real though, right, they're done. Wait,

1417
01:07:13,160 --> 01:07:15,840
Speaker 2: they have those in the UK. We can you can

1418
01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:19,360
Speaker 2: you see exactly what a sanatorium is. So like a

1419
01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:23,200
Speaker 2: sanatorium is like basically and I think I know what

1420
01:07:23,200 --> 01:07:25,360
Speaker 2: it is. It was fun to make sure, am I right?

1421
01:07:25,480 --> 01:07:28,000
Speaker 4: Or was it where they put like, quote unquote criminally

1422
01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:29,240
Speaker 4: insane people.

1423
01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:32,720
Speaker 2: In America? I thought it was just kind of like

1424
01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:35,520
Speaker 2: a place like where mental patients but they like live.

1425
01:07:35,400 --> 01:07:38,080
Speaker 4: And it's it was like back in the day, if

1426
01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:40,800
Speaker 4: you like were you know, having like a full blown

1427
01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:43,240
Speaker 4: breakdown in the street, like you know, when you're underwear

1428
01:07:43,280 --> 01:07:46,360
Speaker 4: going like you know, a van would pull up and

1429
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:48,960
Speaker 4: take you and like just you'd be in the sanitarium.

1430
01:07:49,040 --> 01:07:51,480
Speaker 2: Well maybe it's like that, but it's a little bit

1431
01:07:51,560 --> 01:07:53,360
Speaker 2: nicer now. It's more like a senior home.

1432
01:07:53,480 --> 01:07:56,640
Speaker 4: I'm sure that wherever they are there's definitely a lot

1433
01:07:56,680 --> 01:07:59,920
Speaker 4: of laws and regulations and rules that keep them okay.

1434
01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:04,800
Speaker 2: In America, they got really bad. This is what's frustrating

1435
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:07,000
Speaker 2: to me is the fact that we're now learning that

1436
01:08:07,080 --> 01:08:12,240
Speaker 2: this woman again has severe mental issues. Is crazy to me,

1437
01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:15,160
Speaker 2: like these people around her have not done her any

1438
01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:18,080
Speaker 2: service by not speaking up, and also have not done

1439
01:08:18,080 --> 01:08:21,080
Speaker 2: op any service for having to put up with all

1440
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:21,839
Speaker 2: this hatred.

1441
01:08:22,200 --> 01:08:26,000
Speaker 4: But this process could take up to two months. It

1442
01:08:26,040 --> 01:08:29,680
Speaker 4: will be a good private institution with excellent staff. When

1443
01:08:29,720 --> 01:08:31,960
Speaker 4: she's discharged, the plan is to send her to live

1444
01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:35,479
Speaker 4: in Morocco with her paternal aunt and her husband. They

1445
01:08:35,520 --> 01:08:37,639
Speaker 4: live in a rural area, can afford it and have

1446
01:08:37,680 --> 01:08:41,240
Speaker 4: no children. Amira will no longer have contact with England

1447
01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:42,040
Speaker 4: when she.

1448
01:08:42,040 --> 01:08:42,880
Speaker 2: Goes to live there.

1449
01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:45,720
Speaker 4: Unfortunately, even though they raised her, they think that a

1450
01:08:45,800 --> 01:08:49,599
Speaker 4: sudden break in contact will be less painful. And by

1451
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:51,639
Speaker 4: the way, you never have to break contact with us

1452
01:08:52,200 --> 01:08:54,000
Speaker 4: because you could just go listen to full episodes with

1453
01:08:54,040 --> 01:08:59,120
Speaker 4: stories just like this one on Spotify, iHeartRadio Apple podcasts. Really,

1454
01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:01,240
Speaker 4: wherever you listen the podcast, all you have to do

1455
01:09:01,320 --> 01:09:03,920
Speaker 4: is search Okay Storytime, and then you can listen to

1456
01:09:03,960 --> 01:09:08,479
Speaker 4: the full archive of our episodes. There's over two thousand

1457
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:10,479
Speaker 4: of them. Yes, so we do have a little bit

1458
01:09:10,479 --> 01:09:12,040
Speaker 4: more story left. I think we're all in agreement here,

1459
01:09:12,439 --> 01:09:16,439
Speaker 4: let's finish the story. My husband and I also talked.

1460
01:09:16,720 --> 01:09:18,720
Speaker 4: I told him how much I resented the fact that

1461
01:09:18,760 --> 01:09:23,000
Speaker 4: he no longer protected me. He apologized again. He said that,

1462
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:25,479
Speaker 4: like everyone else, he ended up being too lenient with

1463
01:09:25,560 --> 01:09:28,799
Speaker 4: his cousin, but he wants to make amends. The whole

1464
01:09:28,840 --> 01:09:32,000
Speaker 4: family is going to go through counseling, and I'm going

1465
01:09:32,080 --> 01:09:34,920
Speaker 4: to find a professional for him in Columbia too. I'm

1466
01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:37,120
Speaker 4: also going to find out about couples counseling and a

1467
01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:38,639
Speaker 4: child therapist for my children.

1468
01:09:38,720 --> 01:09:40,840
Speaker 2: How do you have to find it? Again? He find

1469
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:44,960
Speaker 2: it because he's incompetent. Yeah, and please. That is the

1470
01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:49,840
Speaker 2: end of that story. They go, they go, yeah, I

1471
01:09:49,880 --> 01:09:54,599
Speaker 2: think still. My advice for you Ope in the future

1472
01:09:55,680 --> 01:10:00,479
Speaker 2: is you are very right to feel frustrated angry that

1473
01:10:00,520 --> 01:10:03,160
Speaker 2: your husband and your family members did not stand up

1474
01:10:03,520 --> 01:10:07,040
Speaker 2: for you, but also like, don't put up with that,

1475
01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:12,479
Speaker 2: you know, uh, make that known before you get to

1476
01:10:12,520 --> 01:10:15,400
Speaker 2: the point where you're people why I think she had

1477
01:10:15,439 --> 01:10:17,960
Speaker 2: It's been years, I know. I know. If you go

1478
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:20,640
Speaker 2: to your husband and say, hey, I don't want to

1479
01:10:20,640 --> 01:10:22,880
Speaker 2: ever be around this person and he's like, well, I

1480
01:10:22,920 --> 01:10:25,320
Speaker 2: don't care. I'm gonna be around her and you have

1481
01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:27,080
Speaker 2: to be around her too. Then it's like this relationship

1482
01:10:27,080 --> 01:10:27,400
Speaker 2: is story.

1483
01:10:27,479 --> 01:10:29,759
Speaker 4: I don't think because she had said in the story,

1484
01:10:29,800 --> 01:10:31,800
Speaker 4: she's like she could say whatever she wants to me.

1485
01:10:31,960 --> 01:10:32,559
Speaker 2: I don't care.

1486
01:10:33,200 --> 01:10:36,080
Speaker 4: But once the kids got brought into it, yea, then

1487
01:10:36,120 --> 01:10:38,479
Speaker 4: it was like, oh, mama, bear that this is.

1488
01:10:38,479 --> 01:10:43,679
Speaker 2: Not like did anything wrong? I just think that, like definitely, yeah, yeah,

1489
01:10:43,760 --> 01:10:47,599
Speaker 2: I mean there's spons or feelings exactly. Hey, it's Sam.

1490
01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:49,360
Speaker 2: We're going to get back to these stories. But here's

1491
01:10:49,400 --> 01:10:52,320
Speaker 2: three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My mother in

1492
01:10:52,400 --> 01:10:55,840
Speaker 2: law meddled with my medical charts. I want to report it,

1493
01:10:55,920 --> 01:10:57,680
Speaker 2: and I could have gotten away with it too if

1494
01:10:57,720 --> 01:11:00,559
Speaker 2: it wasn't for you, Medla. Is this just this normal

1495
01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:03,240
Speaker 2: bad or bad bad? I've been with my wife a

1496
01:11:03,280 --> 01:11:06,599
Speaker 2: little over ten years, married for the last six. Can

1497
01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:08,880
Speaker 2: you guys let me know if I have a relatively

1498
01:11:08,920 --> 01:11:12,200
Speaker 2: normal annoying mother in law or a more extreme case.

1499
01:11:12,800 --> 01:11:15,519
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Del Taco nine one one,

1500
01:11:16,160 --> 01:11:17,560
Speaker 2: and if you would have spit your own stories, go

1501
01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:19,880
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay story time suburt it soo.

1502
01:11:21,160 --> 01:11:23,559
Speaker 2: My mother in law is a nurse. I knew long

1503
01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:26,439
Speaker 2: before marriage, that she was snooping into my health records

1504
01:11:26,479 --> 01:11:29,280
Speaker 2: and also looking into my mom's who passed away in

1505
01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:31,960
Speaker 2: two thousand and nine. I only know this because at

1506
01:11:31,960 --> 01:11:35,479
Speaker 2: the time I was in hospital QA and staffed quite

1507
01:11:35,479 --> 01:11:38,680
Speaker 2: a bit, and my genius mother in law left her

1508
01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:44,240
Speaker 2: footprints all over the charts. I assume you mean fingerprints.

1509
01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:47,800
Speaker 2: I have asked her to respect my privacy, but she

1510
01:11:47,880 --> 01:11:50,080
Speaker 2: comes back with, maybe you have nothing to hide, then

1511
01:11:50,080 --> 01:11:52,880
Speaker 2: you don't need privacy. Your mother in law here needs

1512
01:11:52,880 --> 01:11:54,639
Speaker 2: to be prosecuted to the fullest suc out of the law.

1513
01:11:55,160 --> 01:11:56,760
Speaker 2: I felt like she was trying to find out if

1514
01:11:56,760 --> 01:11:59,720
Speaker 2: I had any mental health issues, which I don't have

1515
01:11:59,760 --> 01:12:04,679
Speaker 2: any diagnosis of, or any red flag, red flag health issues.

1516
01:12:04,840 --> 01:12:07,080
Speaker 2: If she was so curious, she could have just asked me.

1517
01:12:07,920 --> 01:12:10,160
Speaker 2: She somehow charted that she gave me a flu shot

1518
01:12:10,200 --> 01:12:14,240
Speaker 2: one year. This isn't a one click whoopsie, because she

1519
01:12:14,280 --> 01:12:18,160
Speaker 2: would have had to open my charts, open the immunization tab,

1520
01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:24,200
Speaker 2: select the vaccine, enter the manufacturer, lot exby why would

1521
01:12:24,280 --> 01:12:28,559
Speaker 2: she do that? Fast forward a few years later, when

1522
01:12:28,640 --> 01:12:31,200
Speaker 2: my wife was in labor with our first child, my

1523
01:12:31,320 --> 01:12:36,720
Speaker 2: mother in law called, emailed, texted constantly when I picked up.

1524
01:12:36,760 --> 01:12:38,639
Speaker 2: When I picked up the phone, she yelled at me, going,

1525
01:12:38,920 --> 01:12:43,000
Speaker 2: you're not taking care of my daughter. Keep in mind

1526
01:12:43,040 --> 01:12:45,320
Speaker 2: my wife is now a stay at home mom with

1527
01:12:45,479 --> 01:12:48,160
Speaker 2: some days both kids are in daycare so my wife

1528
01:12:48,160 --> 01:12:51,600
Speaker 2: can have time to herself. I'm the most responsible and

1529
01:12:51,720 --> 01:12:54,320
Speaker 2: hard working person you'll ever meet. I don't know, buddy.

1530
01:12:54,360 --> 01:12:56,920
Speaker 2: I wake up every day and meet myself in the mirror. Yeah,

1531
01:12:56,920 --> 01:12:59,400
Speaker 2: I've met a lot of responsible and hard working people. No,

1532
01:12:59,479 --> 01:13:06,040
Speaker 2: I'm just kidding, Dakota. I grew up with nothing and

1533
01:13:06,080 --> 01:13:08,920
Speaker 2: finished seven years of college by twenty three, while working

1534
01:13:08,960 --> 01:13:13,360
Speaker 2: two jobs to support myself and my passing mom. We

1535
01:13:13,400 --> 01:13:16,320
Speaker 2: are in our thirties with our dream house paid off

1536
01:13:16,400 --> 01:13:21,280
Speaker 2: and basically cruising slash passive income building slash set for life,

1537
01:13:22,160 --> 01:13:24,400
Speaker 2: all because I busted my butt when I was young.

1538
01:13:24,880 --> 01:13:28,000
Speaker 2: I don't smoke, drink, or do anything risky. I don't

1539
01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:31,000
Speaker 2: show off. I don't blow money on stupid stuff. But

1540
01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:34,160
Speaker 2: I live responsibly and go on lots of fun vacations

1541
01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:37,200
Speaker 2: with my family. I've been told here are my parents'

1542
01:13:37,240 --> 01:13:38,960
Speaker 2: weat dream by other girls.

1543
01:13:39,200 --> 01:13:39,360
Speaker 1: Uh.

1544
01:13:39,439 --> 01:13:42,240
Speaker 2: I don't like thinking by that phrase. Now to get

1545
01:13:42,280 --> 01:13:44,800
Speaker 2: back to my mother in law, I listed off the

1546
01:13:44,800 --> 01:13:48,840
Speaker 2: stuff she's done in email. Email title is usually question mark,

1547
01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:53,439
Speaker 2: question mark, question mark or fyi off. In multiple email threads,

1548
01:13:53,439 --> 01:13:56,120
Speaker 2: title question mark, question mark, question mark pertaining to the

1549
01:13:56,160 --> 01:13:59,559
Speaker 2: same topic are to follow ideas as they are thrown

1550
01:13:59,600 --> 01:14:02,639
Speaker 2: out half hazardly. Not uncommon to open email at night

1551
01:14:02,720 --> 01:14:06,120
Speaker 2: and have five emails titled question mark times three and

1552
01:14:06,240 --> 01:14:08,200
Speaker 2: three of them will be on the same topic. The

1553
01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:10,960
Speaker 2: record to beat is twelve emails in one day, which

1554
01:14:10,960 --> 01:14:14,120
Speaker 2: included a very informative email telling me where to put

1555
01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:16,320
Speaker 2: my water by my bed in case I get thirsty

1556
01:14:16,360 --> 01:14:18,519
Speaker 2: at night, but not somewhere I may knock it over,

1557
01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:22,200
Speaker 2: thank God. Gives commands on what to do, often disoriented

1558
01:14:22,200 --> 01:14:26,800
Speaker 2: and disorganized, highly stressed, highly urgent, thinking out loud, lots

1559
01:14:26,840 --> 01:14:29,559
Speaker 2: of back and forth. Gives commands but may change mind

1560
01:14:29,600 --> 01:14:32,080
Speaker 2: at a moment's notice with another email. So she's sending

1561
01:14:32,120 --> 01:14:34,720
Speaker 2: like written voice memos.

1562
01:14:34,479 --> 01:14:39,760
Speaker 4: I would just like stop responding opening or send it

1563
01:14:39,800 --> 01:14:40,519
Speaker 4: straight to junk.

1564
01:14:41,160 --> 01:14:44,640
Speaker 2: Yes, just like ignore these and decisive can lead to

1565
01:14:44,680 --> 01:14:47,760
Speaker 2: added stress. Communication is a list of commands one way

1566
01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:51,880
Speaker 2: only quickly turns into a disorganized interrogation. Also very nosy,

1567
01:14:52,000 --> 01:14:56,480
Speaker 2: right is so ignore her? Uh no respect for personal privacy.

1568
01:14:57,160 --> 01:14:59,400
Speaker 2: If you're not knowing anything bad, then you don't need

1569
01:14:59,439 --> 01:15:04,040
Speaker 2: privacy requires immediate submission to commands, gets impatient for reply,

1570
01:15:04,280 --> 01:15:08,080
Speaker 2: makes us feel obligated to reply asap. If reply isn't

1571
01:15:08,080 --> 01:15:10,839
Speaker 2: given in time, original email is sent again with title

1572
01:15:11,320 --> 01:15:14,599
Speaker 2: question mark question mark question mark second time, which indicates

1573
01:15:14,600 --> 01:15:18,120
Speaker 2: a reply is now required. If no reply is given

1574
01:15:18,160 --> 01:15:23,320
Speaker 2: to question mark second time, then an in person confrontation occurs. Okay,

1575
01:15:23,360 --> 01:15:27,719
Speaker 2: so it can't just go to junk because she does get.

1576
01:15:27,600 --> 01:15:31,439
Speaker 4: Upset, I don't care. If she's upset, she can go

1577
01:15:31,520 --> 01:15:33,479
Speaker 4: to junk, And if she wants to get upset and

1578
01:15:33,479 --> 01:15:36,000
Speaker 4: confront me, she can hear it straight from my mouth

1579
01:15:36,080 --> 01:15:37,840
Speaker 4: that I don't care.

1580
01:15:38,120 --> 01:15:40,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, one time she did this with me. I asked

1581
01:15:40,439 --> 01:15:42,479
Speaker 2: her to look in her set folder and it turns

1582
01:15:42,479 --> 01:15:46,959
Speaker 2: out she was misspelling my email address. How she misspelled

1583
01:15:46,960 --> 01:15:49,080
Speaker 2: my address when she emails me five times a day

1584
01:15:49,160 --> 01:15:52,240
Speaker 2: is beyond me. Oftentimes we don't know how to reply

1585
01:15:52,360 --> 01:15:56,200
Speaker 2: because the email doesn't convey a complete thought and sometimes

1586
01:15:56,320 --> 01:15:59,120
Speaker 2: doesn't contain a question. We don't know how we're supposed

1587
01:15:59,120 --> 01:16:02,360
Speaker 2: to respond. Gives a little to no time for follow up,

1588
01:16:02,439 --> 01:16:05,439
Speaker 2: often multiple times a day. Nagging didn't you do it yet?

1589
01:16:05,520 --> 01:16:07,840
Speaker 2: Did you do it yet? Don't forget? Don't forget many

1590
01:16:07,920 --> 01:16:11,120
Speaker 2: follow up emails. If there's a lot of time leading

1591
01:16:11,160 --> 01:16:14,800
Speaker 2: to a date, then weekly reminders or more leads to

1592
01:16:14,960 --> 01:16:18,880
Speaker 2: alert fatigue. After a while, it's a constant fire truck

1593
01:16:18,960 --> 01:16:23,760
Speaker 2: siren wordy, too many instructions to disorganized alert fatigue. So

1594
01:16:24,040 --> 01:16:27,800
Speaker 2: is she average crazy? Or is she or is she crazy? Crazy?

1595
01:16:27,840 --> 01:16:30,960
Speaker 2: And there is an update? She sounds a little crazy.

1596
01:16:31,000 --> 01:16:34,559
Speaker 4: Crazy boy, I think you're crazy crazy for entertaining her

1597
01:16:35,080 --> 01:16:35,800
Speaker 4: for one minute.

1598
01:16:35,920 --> 01:16:39,040
Speaker 2: She's crazy crazy. Stop stop checking those emails. Send it

1599
01:16:39,040 --> 01:16:41,559
Speaker 2: straight to junk. And if he tries and talks to

1600
01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:44,120
Speaker 2: you in person, you say, sorry, mother in law, we

1601
01:16:44,200 --> 01:16:46,400
Speaker 2: got rid of her computer. What does your partner have

1602
01:16:46,400 --> 01:16:48,240
Speaker 2: to say about that? Yeah, why is this all happen?

1603
01:16:48,479 --> 01:16:50,240
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think we need to go try

1604
01:16:50,240 --> 01:16:53,160
Speaker 2: and get this lady into a sanatorium. I'm just kidding.

1605
01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:56,920
Speaker 4: Maybe, I mean honestly, though, I don't think this feels

1606
01:16:56,960 --> 01:16:58,920
Speaker 4: like a person who should be working in the medical field.

1607
01:16:59,439 --> 01:17:01,280
Speaker 2: This is she would be sending all of this to

1608
01:17:01,439 --> 01:17:03,639
Speaker 2: a freaking yeah, like go to where.

1609
01:17:03,400 --> 01:17:06,439
Speaker 4: She'sfty of everyone in the hospital. I don't think she

1610
01:17:06,520 --> 01:17:07,479
Speaker 4: should be a nurse.

1611
01:17:07,880 --> 01:17:10,240
Speaker 2: That's crazy. Say hey, this is my mother in law.

1612
01:17:10,240 --> 01:17:13,559
Speaker 2: She's hurting us. This is what she she stole my

1613
01:17:13,680 --> 01:17:15,920
Speaker 2: medical information. So but see, now that's.

1614
01:17:15,720 --> 01:17:18,639
Speaker 4: Going to be incredibly hard to navigate because that's your

1615
01:17:18,840 --> 01:17:22,120
Speaker 4: wife's mother. Yeah, where if you do go down that road,

1616
01:17:22,160 --> 01:17:25,000
Speaker 4: you are now taking away her income, You're taking away

1617
01:17:25,000 --> 01:17:29,000
Speaker 4: her security. Like rightfully, so like if you're a you know,

1618
01:17:29,040 --> 01:17:31,439
Speaker 4: a bystander, but like with the context of the family

1619
01:17:31,760 --> 01:17:34,200
Speaker 4: is incredibly complicated and it's so not fair that she's

1620
01:17:34,240 --> 01:17:35,639
Speaker 4: forcing you into this position.

1621
01:17:35,840 --> 01:17:40,479
Speaker 2: Huh Greed. Update on hippo violation. It's impossible to talk

1622
01:17:40,520 --> 01:17:42,840
Speaker 2: to mother in law in person because she has a

1623
01:17:43,000 --> 01:17:48,120
Speaker 2: very selective hearing and also hearing loss for which she

1624
01:17:48,200 --> 01:17:50,680
Speaker 2: has a hearing aid but refuses to wear it. So

1625
01:17:50,760 --> 01:17:53,960
Speaker 2: I went with a letter. She refuses to wear her

1626
01:17:54,040 --> 01:17:57,519
Speaker 2: hearing aid. She's a nurse, she knows better. Mother in

1627
01:17:57,600 --> 01:17:59,559
Speaker 2: law very upset with the letter right now and feel

1628
01:17:59,680 --> 01:18:02,720
Speaker 2: she was blindsighted and attacked. She says there was no

1629
01:18:02,760 --> 01:18:05,879
Speaker 2: indication that there was anything wrong despite my multiple attempts

1630
01:18:05,880 --> 01:18:09,320
Speaker 2: to gingerly talk to her. Apparently, mother in law kept

1631
01:18:09,320 --> 01:18:11,599
Speaker 2: saying to sister in law, am I a terrible person.

1632
01:18:12,080 --> 01:18:14,840
Speaker 2: I know I'm not a terrible person, and father in

1633
01:18:14,920 --> 01:18:17,080
Speaker 2: law stepped in and said, no, you're not. You're not

1634
01:18:17,200 --> 01:18:20,479
Speaker 2: a terrible person. The same father in law that warned

1635
01:18:20,520 --> 01:18:24,320
Speaker 2: me that marriage is miserable and they'll end up hating

1636
01:18:24,320 --> 01:18:27,320
Speaker 2: his daughter as much as he hates his wife. What

1637
01:18:27,560 --> 01:18:32,400
Speaker 2: is this family? What is going on? What? The same

1638
01:18:32,479 --> 01:18:34,599
Speaker 2: father in law, when I asked for his daughter's hand

1639
01:18:34,600 --> 01:18:38,479
Speaker 2: in marriage, responded with are you sure this is what

1640
01:18:38,520 --> 01:18:40,960
Speaker 2: you want? Mother in law initially said she was looking

1641
01:18:40,960 --> 01:18:43,280
Speaker 2: in my charts to find my mom's name to snoop

1642
01:18:43,280 --> 01:18:43,960
Speaker 2: in her chart.

1643
01:18:44,560 --> 01:18:47,680
Speaker 4: She said that out loud, Yeah, this woman shouldn't be

1644
01:18:47,760 --> 01:18:48,280
Speaker 4: a nurse.

1645
01:18:49,080 --> 01:18:52,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. She now claims that she really thought she gave

1646
01:18:52,120 --> 01:18:53,840
Speaker 2: me a flu shot in two thousand and eight, which

1647
01:18:53,920 --> 01:18:56,400
Speaker 2: is bs because I've never seen her at work and

1648
01:18:56,439 --> 01:18:58,720
Speaker 2: we work over one hundred miles away from each other.

1649
01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:01,760
Speaker 2: She hasn't shown no, no remorse for her actions in

1650
01:19:01,840 --> 01:19:04,400
Speaker 2: my chart or in my mom's. I'm thinking I need

1651
01:19:04,439 --> 01:19:08,160
Speaker 2: to call the privacy department and let them know that

1652
01:19:08,240 --> 01:19:11,439
Speaker 2: I need my chart corrected and inquire on how it's

1653
01:19:11,520 --> 01:19:13,599
Speaker 2: possible for my now mother in law to have been

1654
01:19:13,640 --> 01:19:15,719
Speaker 2: in my chart when I first started dating her daughter.

1655
01:19:16,520 --> 01:19:18,400
Speaker 2: I have no desire to make up with her or

1656
01:19:18,439 --> 01:19:20,360
Speaker 2: try to work with her because I'm not going to

1657
01:19:20,400 --> 01:19:24,439
Speaker 2: waste any more time and energy on someone I have

1658
01:19:24,520 --> 01:19:27,240
Speaker 2: no desire having a relationship with. I don't have to

1659
01:19:27,240 --> 01:19:31,160
Speaker 2: see her until Thanksgiving, and we don't plan on staying

1660
01:19:31,160 --> 01:19:34,439
Speaker 2: in their house for the weekend. We decided we're going

1661
01:19:34,439 --> 01:19:37,599
Speaker 2: to book hotel in the area instead. If anyone has advice,

1662
01:19:37,680 --> 01:19:40,320
Speaker 2: I will happily consider it. Don't hang out with this lady.

1663
01:19:40,520 --> 01:19:43,559
Speaker 2: And also I have advice for you guys. You should

1664
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:46,080
Speaker 2: listen to full episodes of stories just like this. Just

1665
01:19:46,120 --> 01:19:49,040
Speaker 2: go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search a

1666
01:19:49,080 --> 01:19:52,400
Speaker 2: Pokes story time hang out with the sound of our voices.

1667
01:19:53,080 --> 01:19:56,160
Speaker 2: So true, there is a little bit left to this story.

1668
01:19:56,200 --> 01:19:59,840
Speaker 2: But Dakota, what do we do? I'm calling the hospital yesterday.

1669
01:20:00,120 --> 01:20:08,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, like honestly, but you know again, because as impartial

1670
01:20:08,320 --> 01:20:12,639
Speaker 4: observers to the story, we can say that really easily,

1671
01:20:12,720 --> 01:20:14,680
Speaker 4: but in reality, Ope, he's gonna have to have a

1672
01:20:14,680 --> 01:20:19,439
Speaker 4: hard conversation with his partner because that's her mom and

1673
01:20:19,800 --> 01:20:25,439
Speaker 4: you're functionally I mean, she did it to herself with

1674
01:20:25,520 --> 01:20:30,160
Speaker 4: her actions, but that's going to end up really destabilizing

1675
01:20:30,200 --> 01:20:30,920
Speaker 4: her career.

1676
01:20:30,680 --> 01:20:32,040
Speaker 2: And her life whatever you want to call it.

1677
01:20:32,120 --> 01:20:36,559
Speaker 4: Right, So she's got to be ready to accept that

1678
01:20:36,760 --> 01:20:39,720
Speaker 4: her mom deserves these consequences. I mean, yeah, so you

1679
01:20:39,720 --> 01:20:41,360
Speaker 4: gotta have a conversation about it. I wouldn't do it

1680
01:20:41,360 --> 01:20:44,920
Speaker 4: behind her back silently secretly. It needs to be like, hey,

1681
01:20:45,000 --> 01:20:47,600
Speaker 4: I think your your mom's breaking hippo violations for me,

1682
01:20:48,040 --> 01:20:49,280
Speaker 4: and I'm gonna report.

1683
01:20:49,120 --> 01:20:52,600
Speaker 2: Her feel violated, Yeah, say like, hey, that was completely

1684
01:20:52,600 --> 01:20:54,439
Speaker 2: inappropriate and she's admitted to it.

1685
01:20:55,040 --> 01:20:57,200
Speaker 4: And sure, this is us, but imagine what else she's

1686
01:20:57,280 --> 01:20:59,600
Speaker 4: capable of, if she's if she can just do this

1687
01:21:00,040 --> 01:21:02,120
Speaker 4: to anyone, you know, It's like.

1688
01:21:02,080 --> 01:21:06,720
Speaker 2: That stuff is like the code for a reason. Like

1689
01:21:07,920 --> 01:21:09,920
Speaker 2: but there is an update or a little bit left

1690
01:21:09,920 --> 01:21:13,320
Speaker 2: at least ps d W is seeing mother in law

1691
01:21:13,400 --> 01:21:15,639
Speaker 2: Dear wife sorry, is seeing mother in law for who

1692
01:21:15,680 --> 01:21:18,240
Speaker 2: she is. Sister in law is torn, agrees that everything

1693
01:21:18,280 --> 01:21:20,840
Speaker 2: in my letter is true, but she also feels mother

1694
01:21:20,880 --> 01:21:24,840
Speaker 2: in law is trying to be helpful. That's really misguided.

1695
01:21:25,280 --> 01:21:28,719
Speaker 2: Even after controlling sister in law's bank account, log ons,

1696
01:21:28,840 --> 01:21:31,880
Speaker 2: hiding tax documents so she can't apply for a mortgage

1697
01:21:31,920 --> 01:21:34,640
Speaker 2: to buy a house, right, she is so deep in

1698
01:21:34,680 --> 01:21:36,800
Speaker 2: the fog because mother in law had such a tight

1699
01:21:36,840 --> 01:21:39,559
Speaker 2: grip on her and buys her everything she needs. And

1700
01:21:39,600 --> 01:21:42,080
Speaker 2: that is the end of that story. Keeping him on

1701
01:21:42,120 --> 01:21:44,800
Speaker 2: the teet, tell her life. Tell your wife. You're like, yep,

1702
01:21:44,960 --> 01:21:47,599
Speaker 2: I don't feel safe around this woman, and she's violated

1703
01:21:47,600 --> 01:21:49,760
Speaker 2: a lot of my privacy. So this is what I'm

1704
01:21:49,840 --> 01:21:50,599
Speaker 2: gonna be doing.

1705
01:21:51,040 --> 01:21:54,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just like it's time for it's time for consequences.

1706
01:21:54,680 --> 01:21:56,800
Speaker 4: And also if she's that scatterbrain, she doesn't know how

1707
01:21:56,800 --> 01:21:59,320
Speaker 4: to use a computer, she doesn't know how to use technology.

1708
01:21:59,360 --> 01:22:03,080
Speaker 4: She works in a heavily you know, technology related field,

1709
01:22:03,200 --> 01:22:06,479
Speaker 4: being in the medical industry, like taking your patient's charts

1710
01:22:06,479 --> 01:22:09,479
Speaker 4: and medical information. You know, you make like you can

1711
01:22:09,520 --> 01:22:13,040
Speaker 4: make a mistake there and it can cause incredible damage.

1712
01:22:13,800 --> 01:22:18,760
Speaker 2: So maybe it's time to retire. You have that conversation.

1713
01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:24,880
Speaker 4: Call stand do good bye yourself stand by, And it

1714
01:22:24,920 --> 01:22:27,000
Speaker 4: sounds like your wife is on the same page. That's good,

1715
01:22:27,080 --> 01:22:30,440
Speaker 4: so that won't be a catastrophic meltdown.