1 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning. 2 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,279 Speaker 1: episode is going to be a longer one part of 4 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:20,120 Speaker 1: the series where I interview fascinating people about how they 5 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 1: take their days from great to awesome and any advice 6 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: they have for the rest of us. So today I 7 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,320 Speaker 1: am excited to welcome Brad Stilberg to Before Breakfast. Brad 8 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,319 Speaker 1: is the author of the brand new book The Way 9 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: of Excellence. So Brad, welcome to the show. 10 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 2: Laura, It's great to be here. 11 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, thanks so much for joining us. Why don't 12 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:39,159 Speaker 1: you tell our listeners a little bit about yourself. 13 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 2: So I wear a couple of hats. 14 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 3: One hat is an author, where I'm really interested in 15 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:49,920 Speaker 3: exploring the things that make humans flourish. I write books, 16 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 3: I research, and I report for those books. The second 17 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 3: hat I wear as a performance coach, so I work 18 00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 3: with athletes, executives, entrepreneurs and creatives on their own performance, 19 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 3: applying so many of the things that I write about. 20 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 3: And then the third hat that I wear as a professor, 21 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 3: where I'm adjunct faculty at the University of Michigan and 22 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 3: much like my writing and coaching. I work with students 23 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 3: there on their professional development, leadership and mental performance. 24 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: Excellent. Well, your book is about excellence, which is a 25 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 1: bit of a lofty topic, and I know that your 26 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: clients are people like the these athletes and things like 27 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: that is excellent something that the rest of us should 28 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 1: be thinking about as well. I mean, there's same things 29 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: that athletes do. Are they applicable to the rest of us. 30 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 31 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,680 Speaker 3: I think that one of the biggest misconceptions about excellence 32 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,760 Speaker 3: is that it's only for the select few with impeccable 33 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 3: genetics that are competing in the World Championships or the Olympics, 34 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,280 Speaker 3: and that just couldn't be further from the truth. Excellence 35 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,919 Speaker 3: really comes down to caring deeply about projects that align 36 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 3: with your values and goals and giving them your all, 37 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 3: and all of us can do that, and it helps 38 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 3: all of us to feel more live, to get the 39 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 3: best out of ourselves, and to have awesome days. 40 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:03,320 Speaker 2: Yeah. 41 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:07,360 Speaker 1: Absolutely, well. I understand that some parts of the genesis 42 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 1: of this book had to do with Robert Persig and 43 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 1: Zen and the art of mozorviicals and maintenances of course 44 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 1: his most famous book. But maybe you can talk a 45 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 1: little bit about the connection between Persig's work and yours. 46 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 3: So Zen The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and Lila are 47 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 3: person's two big books. They're two of my favorite books. 48 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 3: They've really help informs my philosophy of life. And at 49 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 3: the center of Persig's work is this term called quality, 50 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 3: and Perseig defines quality is the relationship between an actor 51 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:41,360 Speaker 3: and their act. So it's not what you are experiencing, 52 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 3: is the person dancing, It's not what the dance floor 53 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 3: is experiencing with your feet tapping on it. It's the 54 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 3: relationship between you and what you're doing. And what Persig 55 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 3: argued is that so much of the fulfillment and satisfaction 56 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:56,800 Speaker 3: in good stuff in life comes out of that relationship 57 00:02:57,160 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 3: between awesome the things that we care about. Persik said, 58 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 3: and this is back in nineteen seventy four, is that 59 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 3: more and more of modern life alienates us from that 60 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,240 Speaker 3: direct experience of the things that we care about. And 61 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 3: again he wrote this before social media in some ways, 62 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 3: before the modern internet, so imagine what he'd be thinking 63 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 3: if he was alive now, And that we should do 64 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 3: everything that we can to remove those distractions so that 65 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,040 Speaker 3: we can experience that kind of intimacy with the things 66 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 3: that are important to us. And again, a big part 67 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 3: of having an excellent life in such a chaotic and 68 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,639 Speaker 3: crazy world is being able to set aside time in 69 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 3: space to get really close and focused and undistracted on 70 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 3: the projects that we find worthwhile. 71 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, figuring out what is worthwhile is sometimes a 72 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: little bit complicated. And you have a great phrase in 73 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: your book. I believe it is quit, fit, and grit, 74 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 1: which is memorable for sure. So why don't you talk 75 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 1: about what that means. 76 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, So grit is this phenomenal term as coined by 77 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 3: Angela Duckworth, and it became all the rage and self 78 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 3: help and personal development really over the last decade, and 79 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 3: grit is really important. Grit says that you have to 80 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 3: have stick to itiveness. You've got to be tough, you 81 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,880 Speaker 3: can't let stepbacks throw you off course, you got to 82 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 3: stick to what you're doing. Commit And that's true, but 83 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 3: that can also get in the way because what if 84 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,719 Speaker 3: you're doing the wrong thing, What if what you actually 85 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 3: should do is quit and try to find something new. 86 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 3: So the way that I like to think about this 87 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,919 Speaker 3: is it's really helpful to sample a whole bunch of 88 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,599 Speaker 3: different pursuits. This can be professional if you're young, this 89 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 3: can be hobbies. If you're older and you're already locked 90 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 3: in your career. 91 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,679 Speaker 2: And you want to quit early and often. 92 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 3: If you don't enjoy something, if it doesn't align with 93 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 3: your values or the person that you think you want 94 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 3: to become, then there's no need to stick it out 95 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,840 Speaker 3: in that thing. However, once you found something where there 96 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 3: is a good fit, that is when grit becomes super important. 97 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 3: So to make this really practical in my own life, 98 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 3: I was never very good at math or science, and 99 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 3: I constantly quit things that involve math and science. I 100 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 3: quit ap math in high school. In college, I thought 101 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,039 Speaker 3: I was going to be an economics major until I 102 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 3: took econ four oh one, which had all kinds of 103 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:00,960 Speaker 3: math that I couldn't do. 104 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:02,280 Speaker 2: So I quit math. 105 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:06,479 Speaker 3: And the flip side is that in writing, I was 106 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,839 Speaker 3: extremely gritty. I was on a school newspaper. I got 107 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 3: rejected more times than I can count, Yet I kept 108 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 3: on writing because I liked it. I had fit. So 109 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 3: I was really gritty with my writing because there was 110 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 3: good fit. But I quit math in science very early 111 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,479 Speaker 3: and very often. And imagine if I would have forced 112 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,360 Speaker 3: myself to say, you know, my parents had this more 113 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 3: analytic career, so therefore I need to have a career 114 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 3: that is more analytic. I might be miserable right now. 115 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 3: So I think that too often we over index when 116 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:36,279 Speaker 3: we say the great performance is all about grit and 117 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 3: being really tough and stick toitiveness. And that's very true, 118 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,760 Speaker 3: but it's only true once you found something for which 119 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 3: you have a good fit. 120 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:45,599 Speaker 1: Yeah. So this is the time of year, you know, 121 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: this is airing in January. A lot of people have 122 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,360 Speaker 1: set resolutions and goals for the new year. Are there 123 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 1: ways we should think about setting these goals that might 124 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 1: make them more workable or more in keeping with the 125 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:00,279 Speaker 1: pursuit of excellent. 126 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so important to set big, challenging, inspirational, motivating goals, 127 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,840 Speaker 3: but then to largely forget about the big, challenging inspirational 128 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:11,840 Speaker 3: goal and to focus on the process, to focus on 129 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 3: the steps that are going to help you achieve that goal. 130 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,719 Speaker 3: This is at the crux of a process mindset, and 131 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,800 Speaker 3: a process mindset is crucial for excellence. It essentially says, 132 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 3: set your big goal, then break that big goal down 133 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,640 Speaker 3: into the component parts, into the small steps, and then 134 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,039 Speaker 3: largely forget about the big goal and just focus on 135 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 3: nailing the steps. Little by little becomes a lot. One 136 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 3: of my favorite interviews I did for the book was 137 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 3: with Kelly Humphries. She is one of the winningest Olympians ever. 138 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:42,040 Speaker 3: She's won three gold medals, one bronze, and five world championships. 139 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,799 Speaker 3: And she's about to compete in February in this upcoming 140 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:48,160 Speaker 3: Winter Olympics. And she's a bob sled athlete. You can 141 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 3: do the math. She's been at the top of the 142 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,720 Speaker 3: world for the last twenty years. And I asked Kelly. 143 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 3: I said, Kelly, talk to me about what goes into 144 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,160 Speaker 3: setting a goal for the Olympics. And she says, well, 145 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,480 Speaker 3: my goal is simple. I want to be the best 146 00:06:58,520 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 3: in the world. I want to win a gold medal. 147 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 2: Four years after that. I take a four year. 148 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,840 Speaker 3: Olympic cycle and I break it down into two by 149 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 3: two years, and then each of those two years has 150 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 3: a particular focus. The first two years are building a base, 151 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,800 Speaker 3: the second two years are sharpening the saw. Then I 152 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,680 Speaker 3: take each of those two years and I break them 153 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 3: down into individual years, and each of those years has 154 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 3: a focus. Each year gets broken down into quarters, each 155 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 3: quarter to months, each months to week, and then each 156 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 3: week gets broken down into days, and then what I 157 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 3: do is I show up and I focus on the 158 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 3: workout I need to execute today. So she has this 159 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 3: big goal, arguably the biggest, to be the best in 160 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,120 Speaker 3: the world at what she does, but day to day, 161 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 3: she's digging exactly where her feet are. She's focused on 162 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 3: the process, and all of us can apply that mindset 163 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:40,560 Speaker 3: to our big goals. 164 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,679 Speaker 1: So just focus on the process instead of the summit fever, 165 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: we might get at the top. 166 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 2: Yeah that's right. 167 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 3: I mean, think about it. I love the EU summit 168 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 3: fever and a climber. If you're a climber and you're 169 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 3: so fixated on getting to the peak that you're constantly 170 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 3: looking up and staring at the top of the mountain, 171 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 3: you're gonna literally like trip and fall over your own feet. 172 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 3: You're gonna make mistakes on the side of the mountain. 173 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 3: So you can't have a climb without a top. You 174 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 3: have to know where you're going, but to successfully get there, 175 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,320 Speaker 3: you've got to focus on climbing exactly where you are. 176 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 3: So it's this paradox of yes, set the big goal, 177 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 3: care deeply about it, but then also kind of forget 178 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 3: about it, or at least don't obsess over it, so 179 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 3: that you can focus on the small steps that are 180 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 3: going to help you get there. 181 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,200 Speaker 1: Absolutely Well, we're going to take a quick ad break 182 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: and then I'll be back with more from Brad Stolberg. 183 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 1: So I am back talking with Brad Stolberg, who is 184 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,119 Speaker 1: the author of the brand new book The Way of Excellence. 185 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 1: We've been talking about breaking down big goals into small 186 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: daily steps toward those big goals. Now when we get 187 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,559 Speaker 1: to sort of rubber meeting the road and day to 188 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 1: day life, as you know, schedules get crazy, things come up. 189 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 1: People have various obstacles on any given day. Is there 190 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,440 Speaker 1: I think you had a phrase in there about raising 191 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,040 Speaker 1: the floor, I mean figuring out, you know, what is 192 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,640 Speaker 1: the least amount you can do on certain days. Even 193 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:02,599 Speaker 1: if we are eventually aiming towards these big goals, what 194 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:03,839 Speaker 1: does that mean to do that? 195 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 3: So many people focus on needing to have great days. 196 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 3: What I have found in my research with performers of 197 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,120 Speaker 3: all different levels, from beginner to world class, is that 198 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 3: what actually leads to lasting progress isn't having more great days, 199 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 3: it's making your bad days a little bit better. And 200 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,200 Speaker 3: what I mean by that is you might have a 201 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 3: day where everything kind of goes to crap. Right, the 202 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 3: dog is vomiting on the floor, your toddler sick, it's 203 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 3: like everything's a mess. You can spiral and catastrophize and 204 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,320 Speaker 3: get absolutely nothing done that day, or you can say, 205 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,360 Speaker 3: all right, today's going to be very different than what 206 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 3: i'd hope for. What would it look like to get 207 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,000 Speaker 3: five or ten percent out of myself instead of the 208 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 3: one hundred percent i'd hope for, Or maybe you don't 209 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,120 Speaker 3: even get five or ten percent of yourself, But instead 210 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,719 Speaker 3: of catastrophizing and spiraling where a bad day becomes a 211 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:52,720 Speaker 3: bad week, you say, all right, today's a zero. I'm 212 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 3: going to take a zero to day, but tomorrow I'm 213 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 3: going to get back on the bandwagon. And really good 214 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:01,080 Speaker 3: progress requires not just those great days, not just to 215 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 3: having a high ceiling, but also raising the floor. Because 216 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 3: the truth is, and I bet every listener knows this, 217 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,959 Speaker 3: by definition, great days are rare, Like we don't have 218 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 3: our best days very often. There's a reason that our 219 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 3: best days, it's much more frequent that we're having an 220 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,200 Speaker 3: average day or and not so great day. But if 221 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 3: we can just nudge what we can get out of 222 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 3: ourselves on those not so great in average days up 223 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 3: over time, that makes an enormous difference. So when you're 224 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 3: having a bad day, instead of freaking out about it, 225 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 3: try to disrupt that negative rumination and spiral and say, 226 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,480 Speaker 3: all right, for whatever reason, it's not going to happen 227 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 3: like I thought today, But how could I make this 228 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 3: bad day a little bit better? What could I get 229 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,199 Speaker 3: out of myself? How could I adjust and still work 230 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 3: toward my goal even if it's not in the way 231 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:43,600 Speaker 3: I hope for. 232 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,559 Speaker 1: I think you refer to this as the next play mentality. 233 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, athletes are great. Athletes are phenomenal with this, which 234 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 3: just says, like next play mentality, the play that just 235 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 3: happened is in the past. There's nothing that you can 236 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,280 Speaker 3: do about it. You can learn from it if possible, 237 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 3: but then you've got to focus on the next. And obviously, 238 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 3: an next play mentality isn't just important in tennis or 239 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:09,080 Speaker 3: golf or soccer basketball. It's important in life. And so 240 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 3: often we get caught up in thinking about what just 241 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:15,719 Speaker 3: happened instead of saying, all right, what happened happens? Take 242 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,000 Speaker 3: what I can and then I'm going to focus on 243 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:17,520 Speaker 3: the next play. 244 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,839 Speaker 1: So I understand that you have a lot of rituals 245 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,359 Speaker 1: and routines in your life, things that you do repeatedly. 246 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:28,080 Speaker 1: We are all about routines on this show, a show 247 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,079 Speaker 1: called Before Breakfast. In particular, morning routines are something that 248 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: a lot of people are interested in. Do you have 249 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 1: a particular morning routine that is part of your life 250 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:35,360 Speaker 1: right now? 251 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 3: I do have a particular morning routine that is part 252 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,199 Speaker 3: of my life, and it revolves around coffee, which is 253 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 3: an ergogenic performance enhancer. I believe in free pub for 254 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,559 Speaker 3: coffee on the show today. But my morning routine is 255 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:51,079 Speaker 3: actually quite simple. I get out of bed, I say 256 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 3: hi to my kids, who are generally up around the 257 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 3: same time as me, or generally they're actually waking me up. 258 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,040 Speaker 3: I have young kids, so they're my alarm clock. And 259 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 3: then I make a pot of coffee and make coffee 260 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,079 Speaker 3: for myself and my wife, and I drink that coffee, 261 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,719 Speaker 3: and then, to the extent possible, again depending on what's 262 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 3: happening with the kids, I try to sit down and 263 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:11,600 Speaker 3: do my most important, high demanding cognitive work first thing 264 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 3: in the day. But it's really like the ritual of 265 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,720 Speaker 3: getting out of bed and making that pot of coffee 266 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:20,320 Speaker 3: that helps me shift from a barely waking state to 267 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 3: a wakeful state. And of course the caffeine helps, but 268 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,560 Speaker 3: I know that it's actually the ritual as much as 269 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:29,080 Speaker 3: the caffeine, because even before any coffee hits my digestive track, 270 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 3: the coffee signifies like, all right, it started the day, 271 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,560 Speaker 3: It's go time. Something that I do when I'm working 272 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 3: on a book is I'll also light incense. And again, 273 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 3: there's just something about connecting, like the the the actual 274 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,040 Speaker 3: physical process of getting the incent burning and then the 275 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 3: smell of it to writing where my brain kind of 276 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,120 Speaker 3: locks in and says all right, like it's time to write. 277 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 1: So I'm curious, I mean, because you said with the 278 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:56,960 Speaker 1: young kids, and this is often something that makes people's 279 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:01,200 Speaker 1: morning routines slightly more complicated, right, dealing with little people. 280 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,199 Speaker 1: Is it more that you're aiming to start at a 281 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 1: particular time when they're off doing their stuff for the day, 282 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 1: or is it that they're part of it. I mean, 283 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 1: I'm curious, like, you know, you sit down at a 284 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 1: certain time when they are at school, or how does 285 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:15,319 Speaker 1: that work? 286 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a great question, because it gets it gets messy, right, 287 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 3: So it depends on the morning. But generally speaking, let's 288 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,400 Speaker 3: say that I'm up at six thirty, the kids are 289 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 3: up at six thirty, and my wife is up at 290 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,679 Speaker 3: six thirty. We both have jobs. We co parent, and 291 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,400 Speaker 3: by coparent, we're not divorced. We're together, but we both 292 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 3: raise the kids. It's not like a situation where she's 293 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,080 Speaker 3: doing all the labor and I'm not. At least I 294 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,319 Speaker 3: certainly try not to do that. So six thirty to 295 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,320 Speaker 3: seven thirty is kind of like, all right, who's slept 296 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,680 Speaker 3: better last night, who's got important work to do? Whoever 297 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 3: doesn't is on point for the kids, and then the 298 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,480 Speaker 3: other person can go do forty five minutes of work, 299 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 3: and then it's time to get the kids ready, get 300 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,600 Speaker 3: them off to school. They're off to school by seven thirty. 301 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,160 Speaker 3: And then at that point I am just trying to 302 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,280 Speaker 3: lock in from seven thirty to nine thirty on my 303 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 3: most important work for the day, before meetings start and 304 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:02,280 Speaker 3: before all these other things come into play. 305 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 1: Now, do you try to push meetings too later in 306 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,600 Speaker 1: the day? Is that how you would schedule an ideal day? 307 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,959 Speaker 3: I do, and that's very much aligned with my chronotype, 308 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 3: which is just the fancy word that scientists use for 309 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,880 Speaker 3: how the rhythms of our days go. And that's a 310 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 3: very individual thing. So I'm very much a morning person. 311 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,960 Speaker 3: I'm not a night owl. I'm a morning lark. So 312 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,960 Speaker 3: I know that my ability to focus deeply is generally 313 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 3: speaking best before noon, and then I know that from 314 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 3: noon to five I struggle if I'm alone, but if 315 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 3: I'm with other people, if I'm in meetings, if I'm 316 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 3: having conversations, that kind of energy can help light me 317 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 3: back up. So it doesn't always work like this, but 318 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 3: to the extent possible, I try to put my meetings 319 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:48,800 Speaker 3: in my more extroverted social work in the afternoon and 320 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 3: schedule my more deep focus, cognitive alone work in the morning. 321 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 1: Now, you had mentioned that you have a couple of 322 00:14:56,840 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 1: weekly routines, like things that you aim to do once 323 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 1: a week, which is sort of a different unit of 324 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,720 Speaker 1: time than a lot of people think about with routines. 325 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,080 Speaker 1: But yeah, what are some of those things? 326 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm glad you asked, so I'll share the framework 327 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 3: real quick because I think it can be really helpful, 328 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,600 Speaker 3: which is three daily routines, three weekly routines and three 329 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 3: monthly routines. So my daily routines are forty five to 330 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 3: sixty minutes of exercise and I try to do this 331 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 3: every day. And this doesn't always mean going to the 332 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 3: gym and killing myself. Sometimes it means walking the dog, 333 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 3: but moving my body for forty five to sixty minutes 334 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:29,280 Speaker 3: a day at least one and a half hours of 335 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:32,280 Speaker 3: deep focus work where I'm not running from meeting to meeting, 336 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 3: and I'm focused on a project that matters to me. 337 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,840 Speaker 3: For me, usually that's writing, and then going to bed 338 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,400 Speaker 3: when I'm tired. So I've learned not to fight sleep again. 339 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 3: We have young kids. They go to bed at eight. Often, 340 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:42,760 Speaker 3: my wife and I are in bed at nine thirty. 341 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 3: We're not very exciting because without going to bed at 342 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,480 Speaker 3: nine thirty, we wouldn't get much sleep. Some of my 343 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:51,800 Speaker 3: weekly routines my three weekly routines. The first is some 344 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,840 Speaker 3: kind of extended time in nature. This can just be 345 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 3: an hour and a half walk with the dog. So 346 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 3: instead of the quick walk around our neighborhood, we go 347 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 3: out in a trail that like really helps me clear 348 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 3: my mind, reconnect to myself. A digital sabbath, which is 349 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 3: a time period where I put my phone in my computer, 350 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 3: completely away in When I'm doing this at my best, 351 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,360 Speaker 3: it's a whole day. When I'm not at my best, 352 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,120 Speaker 3: it's a half a day. But it's literally like in 353 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,200 Speaker 3: the Attict, you know, nowhere near me, not in the 354 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,720 Speaker 3: other room, not turned off, but a place where I'm 355 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 3: not even thinking about it, to get away from the 356 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 3: digital device. And then some kind of social interaction with 357 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 3: friends once a week so I can be really busy. 358 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 3: I'm very work driven, and sometimes friendship gets crowded out. 359 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,680 Speaker 3: So if I'm really cognizant of hey, I've got to 360 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 3: make sure I'm hanging out with people at least once 361 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 3: a week. And then I also have these three monthly 362 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,600 Speaker 3: things that I do, which is try to spend a 363 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,240 Speaker 3: day in nature, often with the family. Try to do 364 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,880 Speaker 3: something with my community, so go to a neighborhood barbecue, 365 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,800 Speaker 3: go do a cleanup on one of the local trails nearby, 366 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 3: something like that to connect with my community. And then 367 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 3: I also try to have some time period for contemplation 368 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,680 Speaker 3: and reflection. So maybe it's meditation, maybe it's listening to 369 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 3: my favorite music album, so on and so forth. I 370 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 3: find especially with young kids in the cast of life. 371 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,560 Speaker 3: Sometimes having like very elaborate routines helps people at certain 372 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,439 Speaker 3: phases of life. For me right now, the more I 373 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,920 Speaker 3: can simplify, the better. So I know that if I'm 374 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,679 Speaker 3: doing my three daily and my three weekly and my 375 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 3: three monthly things, my physical, cognitive, emotional, and social health 376 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:18,920 Speaker 3: will be in a good enough spot. 377 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,160 Speaker 1: Absolutely. All right, We're going to take one more quick 378 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 1: ad break and then I'll be back with more from 379 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 1: Brad Stolberg. So I am back talking with Brad Stolberg, 380 00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: who is the author of the book The Way of Excellence. 381 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,440 Speaker 1: So I have a follow up question about the digital 382 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,239 Speaker 1: sabbath because I know a lot of people say, well, 383 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 1: I really would like to be off a lot of 384 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,639 Speaker 1: my devices and my connectivity. However, there are other people, 385 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,359 Speaker 1: like even within my family or friends, that I would 386 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 1: need to be connected to. On a weekend day, for instance, 387 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 1: my teenager is going to be out and about and 388 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,119 Speaker 1: want to connect to pick up, you know, get a 389 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,959 Speaker 1: ride home, or like my parents will need to reach me. 390 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,679 Speaker 1: So I'm curious to how one should thread that needle 391 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:02,000 Speaker 1: of having some of the upsides the connectivity without getting 392 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,520 Speaker 1: into all the downsides that can happen. 393 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,679 Speaker 3: So I can share how I did it in what 394 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,919 Speaker 3: worked for my family, and that is I got a 395 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,360 Speaker 3: phone called a Jitterbug, which is marketed towards senior citizens. 396 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,399 Speaker 3: It has no Internet. In order to text, you have 397 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 3: to like do the old texting, or in order to 398 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 3: get to like the letter C, you have to hit 399 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:20,760 Speaker 3: one three times to go through A B and C. 400 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,960 Speaker 3: So functionally, you're never going to text on this thing. 401 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 3: It is just a phone. The other thing is is 402 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,480 Speaker 3: if I fall, there's a special button that will automatically 403 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,520 Speaker 3: call nine one one for me, because again it's marketing 404 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:32,400 Speaker 3: senior citizens. 405 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:33,680 Speaker 2: But I have a Jitterbug. 406 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,520 Speaker 3: It has its own phone number, and that's what I 407 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 3: use to stay in touch with my family. That's so 408 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:39,840 Speaker 3: my wife can reach me when we're running the kids 409 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:43,200 Speaker 3: in various places. And that's also sometimes on these digital savags, 410 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,080 Speaker 3: I want to call my brother who lives in another state, 411 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,680 Speaker 3: or my closest friend who lives across the country, and 412 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,240 Speaker 3: that's still really meaningful. Like that's the kind of technology 413 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 3: that I want to take advantage of. But what having 414 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,520 Speaker 3: the Jitterbug phone does is it keeps me off of Twitter. 415 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,440 Speaker 3: It keeps me off of Instagram, It keeps me off 416 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,800 Speaker 3: of email, It keeps me from on and on and on. 417 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:00,679 Speaker 3: Got it? 418 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 1: So I loved a phrase that you used in your 419 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:08,440 Speaker 1: book when you are trying something new that you haven't 420 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,120 Speaker 1: done or that will might be a little bit outside 421 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 1: your comfort zones, Brave New World? How does this mantra 422 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:15,920 Speaker 1: work for you? 423 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,320 Speaker 3: One of my favorite parts of the book, Brave New World. 424 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,520 Speaker 3: What the genesis of this is? The sport that I 425 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,119 Speaker 3: engage in is powerlifting, and when you walk up to 426 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,160 Speaker 3: a barbell that has more weight on it than you've 427 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,520 Speaker 3: ever lifted before, there can be like a real sense 428 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:32,159 Speaker 3: of fear and not so much fear is am I 429 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 3: going to make the lift or not? Because no one 430 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,840 Speaker 3: really cares, not a pro athlete, but genuine fear about 431 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,879 Speaker 3: this is going to feel so hard, Like what's this 432 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 3: going to feel? Like? I'm kind of scared in When 433 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 3: you walk up to a bar in a state of fear, 434 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 3: you tend not to perform very well. But if you 435 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:51,920 Speaker 3: can shift from fear to curiosity, your performance can be incredible. 436 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,000 Speaker 3: So instead of walking up to that bar saying I 437 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,120 Speaker 3: don't know if I'm going to do this or yikes, 438 00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:58,399 Speaker 3: I don't know what this is going to feel like. 439 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,160 Speaker 3: I walk up to the bar and I say, Brave 440 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 3: New World. I have no idea what's going to happen, 441 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:07,399 Speaker 3: but let's find out. And that shift from uh oh, 442 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 3: this is scary to this is a whole new horizon. Heck, 443 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,640 Speaker 3: if I'm you know, if I told myself I'm gonna 444 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 3: for sure make the lift, I know because I'd be 445 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:15,760 Speaker 3: lying to myself. I don't know if I'm going to 446 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,080 Speaker 3: make the lift. But what I can say is like, 447 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,120 Speaker 3: I'm taking on a challenge. Brave New world. Let's find out. 448 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,160 Speaker 3: It started in the weight room. But I can tell 449 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,400 Speaker 3: you that the first words I said to my wife 450 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,879 Speaker 3: when we had our second kid, I looked at her 451 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 3: and I said, Brave New World. When I take on 452 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,359 Speaker 3: a big writing assignment for an outlet I've never written 453 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:32,440 Speaker 3: for and I feel overwhelmed, I tell myself like, brave 454 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:36,360 Speaker 3: New World. So it's this really powerful mantra because again 455 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,919 Speaker 3: it shifts us out of fear to curiosity. There's some 456 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,199 Speaker 3: fascinating neuroscience that I go into in the book that 457 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 3: essentially shows that the circuitry in our brains that lights 458 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:51,480 Speaker 3: up when we are really scared or rageful. Angry is 459 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,440 Speaker 3: completely at odds with the circuitry that lights up when 460 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,720 Speaker 3: we're curious, So anyone knows this. It's impossible to be 461 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 3: genuinely curious and terrified at the same time time. So 462 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 3: I think curiosity is one of the best antidotes to fear. 463 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:09,239 Speaker 1: So I ask all my guests a question of what 464 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,120 Speaker 1: is something you have done recently to take a day 465 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,640 Speaker 1: from great to awesome? 466 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 3: I have set aside thirty minutes to have an afternoon coffee, 467 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:25,159 Speaker 3: not the morning coffee, and read and do deep, undistracted 468 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:30,159 Speaker 3: reading nonfiction fiction. I think that I'm a writer, so 469 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:32,680 Speaker 3: this is my job. And yet sometimes the time to 470 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,679 Speaker 3: sit down and cozy up with a book gets crowded 471 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 3: out because life is so busy and there's so many 472 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,080 Speaker 3: of these short form mechanisms of communication. That I've really 473 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 3: made it a priority to reclaim reading in the days 474 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 3: that I set aside that time for myself to read, 475 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:47,919 Speaker 3: I never regret it. 476 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 1: What time does that tend to happen for you? 477 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,560 Speaker 3: So again, I'm fortunate I control my own schedule that 478 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,600 Speaker 3: tends to happen towards the end of the day, So 479 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,040 Speaker 3: like four thirty to five back to I know you 480 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,400 Speaker 3: love rituals and routines. It also kind of acts as 481 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:04,760 Speaker 3: a nice transition out of the workday and into family time. 482 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, that would be a great way to end 483 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,760 Speaker 1: the day and to say, well this my brain is 484 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,200 Speaker 1: moving into a different space and I can I can 485 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 1: transition into a different role at this point, Particularly for 486 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,159 Speaker 1: people who might work from home, that's a way to 487 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,840 Speaker 1: create a bit of a fake commute, right. 488 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,439 Speaker 3: Oh, one hundred percent. And I'm glad you mentioned that. 489 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 3: I think that that is that is so important and 490 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 3: that's a whole other conversation and topic, but the importance 491 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,920 Speaker 3: of like, if you do work from home, there's so 492 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 3: many benefits, but one of the costs is that we 493 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,920 Speaker 3: used to have all these boundaries built in between work 494 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,159 Speaker 3: and life, and if you work from home, you have 495 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 3: to create those boundaries a little bit artificially. 496 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:41,399 Speaker 2: Yeah. 497 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,359 Speaker 1: Well, we try the best we can around here, for sure. 498 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,600 Speaker 1: So Bradus, what is something you are looking forward to 499 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:48,160 Speaker 1: right now? 500 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:54,360 Speaker 3: I love I'm coaching my son's basketball team and we're 501 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 3: having this conversation on a Friday, and we play on Saturdays, 502 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 3: and I just nothing brings me more joy than coaching 503 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 3: rex Sports seven to eight year olds playing basketball. 504 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:03,959 Speaker 2: I love it. 505 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:05,720 Speaker 3: It just lights me up more than anything. 506 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 1: Because they're really learning. I mean, they're at this point 507 00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 1: there's still. 508 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:12,440 Speaker 3: They're learning and they're innocents. They're still young enough where 509 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,800 Speaker 3: yes there's some crazy parents, but most of the parents 510 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,359 Speaker 3: are very kind. There's none of the politics that you 511 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 3: get in sport that gets that happens when you're at 512 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,280 Speaker 3: the high school or college level. They're just a bunch 513 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:26,640 Speaker 3: of kids having so much fun together in the Yes, 514 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,040 Speaker 3: they want to win, but like they have so much 515 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 3: fun and then they move on after the game so 516 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,400 Speaker 3: quick it's like it never happened. And it's just such 517 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,680 Speaker 3: an innocent way to engage with sport, and I think 518 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:37,639 Speaker 3: it's the best. 519 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, well they've got a next game mentality for sure. 520 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,639 Speaker 1: So Brad, where can people find you? 521 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 3: The best place to find me on the internet is 522 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,720 Speaker 3: my podcast, which is Excellence. Actually the book is called 523 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,200 Speaker 3: The Way of Excellence, and then the social media platform 524 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,480 Speaker 3: that I'm most active on is Instagram and my username 525 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,400 Speaker 3: is just my name at Brad Stolberg. 526 00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,159 Speaker 1: Absolutely all right, Well, Brad, thank you so much much 527 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,880 Speaker 1: for joining us. Thank you to everyone for listening. If 528 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:06,159 Speaker 1: you have feedback about this or any other episode, you 529 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,080 Speaker 1: can always reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot 530 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:12,479 Speaker 1: com and in the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, 531 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:22,119 Speaker 1: and here's to making the most of our time. Thanks 532 00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:26,160 Speaker 1: for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, 533 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,800 Speaker 1: or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura 534 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:39,280 Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. 535 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, 536 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:47,359 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.