WEBVTT - BrainStuff Classics: How Can You Help a Friend with Depression?

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Brainstuff, a production of iHeartRadio. Hey brain Stuff,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Lauren Vogelbaum, and this is a classic episode for

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<v Speaker 1>you from the podcast's archives. In this one, we get

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<v Speaker 1>into some practical advice for how to talk with a

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<v Speaker 1>loved one who seems like they're struggling with mental health.

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<v Speaker 1>It originally aired in twenty eighteen, but there's never really

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<v Speaker 1>not a good time to talk about it. Hey brain Stuff,

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<v Speaker 1>Lauren vocal bomb here, I've just wanted to let you

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<v Speaker 1>know this episode deals with the topics of depression and suicide.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you're not up for that today, go ahead

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<v Speaker 1>and skip it. And hey, take care of yourself. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>During the publicity that attended the recent suicides of Anthony

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<v Speaker 1>Bourdain and Kate Spade, people were urged to reach out

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<v Speaker 1>to loved ones they suspect our coping with depression. There's

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<v Speaker 1>good reason for this nudge. A more than sixteen million

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<v Speaker 1>American adults experience major depression, with only thirty five percent

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<v Speaker 1>of those affected turning to a mental health professional for treatment.

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<v Speaker 1>Effective treatment can lead to partial or complete remission and

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<v Speaker 1>thus a vastly improved quality of life. But one of

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<v Speaker 1>the tricky things about depression is that it can prevent

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<v Speaker 1>people from getting help. Still, despite these numbers, a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of people are confused or anxious about how to handle

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<v Speaker 1>a potentially depressed loved one. How can you tell if

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<v Speaker 1>someone is really depressed? And how exactly should you approach

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<v Speaker 1>the person? What if they get mad at you for asking?

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<v Speaker 1>Although a lot of variables are at play and it's

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<v Speaker 1>impossible to predict a reaction, experts insist that it's always

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<v Speaker 1>better to make a true and caring effort. We spoke

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<v Speaker 1>with Matt Honorrado, director of social work and an adjunct

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<v Speaker 1>clinical assistant professor at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical

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<v Speaker 1>Center's Harding Hospital. He said, a people who contemplate suicide

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<v Speaker 1>are ambivalent up to the end. They want the pain

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<v Speaker 1>to end, and if there was some other way to

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<v Speaker 1>end the pain than kill themselves, they would take that.

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<v Speaker 1>There's always hope. You make a small gesture of hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm here if you need me, and that could stop

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<v Speaker 1>someone a week later from trying to kill themselves. The

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<v Speaker 1>small things we do make a huge impact. So how

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<v Speaker 1>do you know if someone is dealing with depression? Almost

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<v Speaker 1>all of us get the blues at some point feeling

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<v Speaker 1>down about our lives or ourselves. The difference with depression

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<v Speaker 1>is that this feeling does not lift and is not

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<v Speaker 1>improved by spending time with friends or taking part in

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<v Speaker 1>fun activities. Some fairly well known symptoms of depression include

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<v Speaker 1>sadness and loss of interest in hobbies enjoyed in the past,

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<v Speaker 1>weight gain or weight loss, trouble sleeping or excessive sleep,

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<v Speaker 1>difficulty concentrating, and suicidal thoughts or comments. A general irreability

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<v Speaker 1>is a lesser known and often overlooked symptom. Verbal statements

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<v Speaker 1>of feeling empty or worthless are also important to note,

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<v Speaker 1>as well as physical symptoms like pain, fatigue, headaches, or

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<v Speaker 1>stomach aches. If any of these symptoms last more than

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<v Speaker 1>two weeks and interfere with the person's life functioning in

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<v Speaker 1>some way, it's probably not just the blues, but like

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<v Speaker 1>any serious illness, depression needs to be treated to get better.

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<v Speaker 1>A lot of people are scared to approach loved wife

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<v Speaker 1>about depression or suicide, whether it's because they don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to offend the person, are afraid to make the situation

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<v Speaker 1>too real, or are worried that they'll get yelled at.

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<v Speaker 1>We also spoke with doctor Catherine Burnett, assistant professor at

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<v Speaker 1>the School of Social Work at Tulane University, via email.

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<v Speaker 1>She said anytime a sensitive issue is brought up, the

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<v Speaker 1>potential for defensiveness or anger is there. She also noted

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<v Speaker 1>that you're not necessarily in for a fight though quote.

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<v Speaker 1>Everyone responds differently, and many people may be relieved to

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<v Speaker 1>talk about their struggles, especially if a non judgmental and

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<v Speaker 1>sensitive approach is taken. In the event that the person

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<v Speaker 1>does react unhappily, it can be helpful to be open

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<v Speaker 1>and direct about your emotional response. Therapists suggest saying something

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<v Speaker 1>like I understand you're going through a lot, but when

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<v Speaker 1>you snap at me, it makes me feel sad. There's

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<v Speaker 1>no guarantee that one talk will result in action, and

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<v Speaker 1>that's okay. Burnett said, sometimes if a friend seems to

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<v Speaker 1>blow you off, you can affirm that you just care

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<v Speaker 1>about them and are there if they ever want to talk.

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<v Speaker 1>Your friend may not respond immediately, but your care may

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<v Speaker 1>have left an opening for future conversations. When you do

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<v Speaker 1>initiate the conversation, calmly express concern, then let them do

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of the talking. Listen first, hold off on

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<v Speaker 1>any problem solving or suggestions. It might sound silly, but

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<v Speaker 1>just listening to a person's experience of depression can help

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<v Speaker 1>them validate that experience for themselves once they've had their say.

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<v Speaker 1>Therapists recommend asking probing questions like how bad does this get?

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<v Speaker 1>Does it ever get worse than what you're telling me?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you aware of having a lot of guilt or shame?

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<v Speaker 1>Just avoid saying things like look on the bright side,

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<v Speaker 1>or it's not that bad, or even something like when

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<v Speaker 1>I was depressed, once I started walking every day and

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<v Speaker 1>I got better. Remember that depression is a systemic illness.

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<v Speaker 1>It can affect a person's whole body and being, so

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<v Speaker 1>it needs treatment tailored for every individual person. It may

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<v Speaker 1>take time, but hopefully they'll come to the conclusion that

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<v Speaker 1>their depression can be treated. There are lots of options

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<v Speaker 1>depending on how severe the situation is. If the person

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<v Speaker 1>is suicidal, there are services that offer twenty four hour

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<v Speaker 1>access to trained professionals and other resources. In the US,

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<v Speaker 1>try looking up the National Alliance on Mental Illness or

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<v Speaker 1>Mental Health America, or the Suicide Prevention Lifeline or the

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<v Speaker 1>Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Some services are free,

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<v Speaker 1>and there are federally funded outpatient and inpatient programs available

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<v Speaker 1>to folks without insurance, with payment based on sliding scale

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<v Speaker 1>according to income. If the situation is less urgent, talk

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<v Speaker 1>to your friend about what option they might be most

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<v Speaker 1>comfortable with. This could start with a trip to the

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<v Speaker 1>family doctor, particularly if your friend doesn't want to see

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<v Speaker 1>a therapist. After all, primary care doctors are also able

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<v Speaker 1>to rule out any other medical cause, like thyroid problems

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<v Speaker 1>or anemia. They can screen for depression, prescribe medications, and

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<v Speaker 1>refer patients to mental health professionals. Many employee assistance programs

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<v Speaker 1>offer free or reduced cost counseling sessions to staff and

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<v Speaker 1>family members, so be sure to check your specific plan

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<v Speaker 1>for counseling and other resources. Annorado said, I think culturally

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<v Speaker 1>we're becoming in America more comfortable talking about mental health, depression,

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<v Speaker 1>and suicide. People are being more open and knowing that

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<v Speaker 1>there is help out there, that you won't be judged

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<v Speaker 1>and are not alone. Today's episode is based on the

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<v Speaker 1>article Here's how You Help a friend with depression on

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<v Speaker 1>how stuffworks dot com, written by leoh Hoyt. Brain Stuff

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<v Speaker 1>is production by Heart Radio in partnership with how Stuffworks

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<v Speaker 1>dot com and is produced by Tyler Klang. Four more

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