Speaker 1: Welcome to Brainstuff, a production of iHeartRadio. Hey brain Stuff,
Speaker 1: I'm Lauren Vogelbaum, and this is a classic episode for
Speaker 1: you from the podcast's archives. In this one, we get
Speaker 1: into some practical advice for how to talk with a
Speaker 1: loved one who seems like they're struggling with mental health.
Speaker 1: It originally aired in twenty eighteen, but there's never really
Speaker 1: not a good time to talk about it. Hey brain Stuff,
Speaker 1: Lauren vocal bomb here, I've just wanted to let you
Speaker 1: know this episode deals with the topics of depression and suicide.
Speaker 1: So if you're not up for that today, go ahead
Speaker 1: and skip it. And hey, take care of yourself. Okay.
Speaker 1: During the publicity that attended the recent suicides of Anthony
Speaker 1: Bourdain and Kate Spade, people were urged to reach out
Speaker 1: to loved ones they suspect our coping with depression. There's
Speaker 1: good reason for this nudge. A more than sixteen million
Speaker 1: American adults experience major depression, with only thirty five percent
Speaker 1: of those affected turning to a mental health professional for treatment.
Speaker 1: Effective treatment can lead to partial or complete remission and
Speaker 1: thus a vastly improved quality of life. But one of
Speaker 1: the tricky things about depression is that it can prevent
Speaker 1: people from getting help. Still, despite these numbers, a lot
Speaker 1: of people are confused or anxious about how to handle
Speaker 1: a potentially depressed loved one. How can you tell if
Speaker 1: someone is really depressed? And how exactly should you approach
Speaker 1: the person? What if they get mad at you for asking?
Speaker 1: Although a lot of variables are at play and it's
Speaker 1: impossible to predict a reaction, experts insist that it's always
Speaker 1: better to make a true and caring effort. We spoke
Speaker 1: with Matt Honorrado, director of social work and an adjunct
Speaker 1: clinical assistant professor at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical
Speaker 1: Center's Harding Hospital. He said, a people who contemplate suicide
Speaker 1: are ambivalent up to the end. They want the pain
Speaker 1: to end, and if there was some other way to
Speaker 1: end the pain than kill themselves, they would take that.
Speaker 1: There's always hope. You make a small gesture of hey,
Speaker 1: I'm here if you need me, and that could stop
Speaker 1: someone a week later from trying to kill themselves. The
Speaker 1: small things we do make a huge impact. So how
Speaker 1: do you know if someone is dealing with depression? Almost
Speaker 1: all of us get the blues at some point feeling
Speaker 1: down about our lives or ourselves. The difference with depression
Speaker 1: is that this feeling does not lift and is not
Speaker 1: improved by spending time with friends or taking part in
Speaker 1: fun activities. Some fairly well known symptoms of depression include
Speaker 1: sadness and loss of interest in hobbies enjoyed in the past,
Speaker 1: weight gain or weight loss, trouble sleeping or excessive sleep,
Speaker 1: difficulty concentrating, and suicidal thoughts or comments. A general irreability
Speaker 1: is a lesser known and often overlooked symptom. Verbal statements
Speaker 1: of feeling empty or worthless are also important to note,
Speaker 1: as well as physical symptoms like pain, fatigue, headaches, or
Speaker 1: stomach aches. If any of these symptoms last more than
Speaker 1: two weeks and interfere with the person's life functioning in
Speaker 1: some way, it's probably not just the blues, but like
Speaker 1: any serious illness, depression needs to be treated to get better.
Speaker 1: A lot of people are scared to approach loved wife
Speaker 1: about depression or suicide, whether it's because they don't want
Speaker 1: to offend the person, are afraid to make the situation
Speaker 1: too real, or are worried that they'll get yelled at.
Speaker 1: We also spoke with doctor Catherine Burnett, assistant professor at
Speaker 1: the School of Social Work at Tulane University, via email.
Speaker 1: She said anytime a sensitive issue is brought up, the
Speaker 1: potential for defensiveness or anger is there. She also noted
Speaker 1: that you're not necessarily in for a fight though quote.
Speaker 1: Everyone responds differently, and many people may be relieved to
Speaker 1: talk about their struggles, especially if a non judgmental and
Speaker 1: sensitive approach is taken. In the event that the person
Speaker 1: does react unhappily, it can be helpful to be open
Speaker 1: and direct about your emotional response. Therapists suggest saying something
Speaker 1: like I understand you're going through a lot, but when
Speaker 1: you snap at me, it makes me feel sad. There's
Speaker 1: no guarantee that one talk will result in action, and
Speaker 1: that's okay. Burnett said, sometimes if a friend seems to
Speaker 1: blow you off, you can affirm that you just care
Speaker 1: about them and are there if they ever want to talk.
Speaker 1: Your friend may not respond immediately, but your care may
Speaker 1: have left an opening for future conversations. When you do
Speaker 1: initiate the conversation, calmly express concern, then let them do
Speaker 1: a lot of the talking. Listen first, hold off on
Speaker 1: any problem solving or suggestions. It might sound silly, but
Speaker 1: just listening to a person's experience of depression can help
Speaker 1: them validate that experience for themselves once they've had their say.
Speaker 1: Therapists recommend asking probing questions like how bad does this get?
Speaker 1: Does it ever get worse than what you're telling me?
Speaker 1: Are you aware of having a lot of guilt or shame?
Speaker 1: Just avoid saying things like look on the bright side,
Speaker 1: or it's not that bad, or even something like when
Speaker 1: I was depressed, once I started walking every day and
Speaker 1: I got better. Remember that depression is a systemic illness.
Speaker 1: It can affect a person's whole body and being, so
Speaker 1: it needs treatment tailored for every individual person. It may
Speaker 1: take time, but hopefully they'll come to the conclusion that
Speaker 1: their depression can be treated. There are lots of options
Speaker 1: depending on how severe the situation is. If the person
Speaker 1: is suicidal, there are services that offer twenty four hour
Speaker 1: access to trained professionals and other resources. In the US,
Speaker 1: try looking up the National Alliance on Mental Illness or
Speaker 1: Mental Health America, or the Suicide Prevention Lifeline or the
Speaker 1: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Some services are free,
Speaker 1: and there are federally funded outpatient and inpatient programs available
Speaker 1: to folks without insurance, with payment based on sliding scale
Speaker 1: according to income. If the situation is less urgent, talk
Speaker 1: to your friend about what option they might be most
Speaker 1: comfortable with. This could start with a trip to the
Speaker 1: family doctor, particularly if your friend doesn't want to see
Speaker 1: a therapist. After all, primary care doctors are also able
Speaker 1: to rule out any other medical cause, like thyroid problems
Speaker 1: or anemia. They can screen for depression, prescribe medications, and
Speaker 1: refer patients to mental health professionals. Many employee assistance programs
Speaker 1: offer free or reduced cost counseling sessions to staff and
Speaker 1: family members, so be sure to check your specific plan
Speaker 1: for counseling and other resources. Annorado said, I think culturally
Speaker 1: we're becoming in America more comfortable talking about mental health, depression,
Speaker 1: and suicide. People are being more open and knowing that
Speaker 1: there is help out there, that you won't be judged
Speaker 1: and are not alone. Today's episode is based on the
Speaker 1: article Here's how You Help a friend with depression on
Speaker 1: how stuffworks dot com, written by leoh Hoyt. Brain Stuff
Speaker 1: is production by Heart Radio in partnership with how Stuffworks
Speaker 1: dot com and is produced by Tyler Klang. Four more
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