1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 1: Welcome to Brainstuff, a production of iHeartRadio. Hey brain Stuff, 2 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:10,800 Speaker 1: I'm Lauren Vogelbaum, and this is a classic episode for 3 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:14,680 Speaker 1: you from the podcast's archives. In this one, we get 4 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,239 Speaker 1: into some practical advice for how to talk with a 5 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,120 Speaker 1: loved one who seems like they're struggling with mental health. 6 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 1: It originally aired in twenty eighteen, but there's never really 7 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 1: not a good time to talk about it. Hey brain Stuff, 8 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,319 Speaker 1: Lauren vocal bomb here, I've just wanted to let you 9 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:34,520 Speaker 1: know this episode deals with the topics of depression and suicide. 10 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 1: So if you're not up for that today, go ahead 11 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: and skip it. And hey, take care of yourself. Okay. 12 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 1: During the publicity that attended the recent suicides of Anthony 13 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,880 Speaker 1: Bourdain and Kate Spade, people were urged to reach out 14 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 1: to loved ones they suspect our coping with depression. There's 15 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:53,240 Speaker 1: good reason for this nudge. A more than sixteen million 16 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 1: American adults experience major depression, with only thirty five percent 17 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 1: of those affected turning to a mental health professional for treatment. 18 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: Effective treatment can lead to partial or complete remission and 19 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: thus a vastly improved quality of life. But one of 20 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 1: the tricky things about depression is that it can prevent 21 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 1: people from getting help. Still, despite these numbers, a lot 22 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:15,319 Speaker 1: of people are confused or anxious about how to handle 23 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:18,200 Speaker 1: a potentially depressed loved one. How can you tell if 24 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 1: someone is really depressed? And how exactly should you approach 25 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: the person? What if they get mad at you for asking? 26 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: Although a lot of variables are at play and it's 27 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: impossible to predict a reaction, experts insist that it's always 28 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:33,320 Speaker 1: better to make a true and caring effort. We spoke 29 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:36,319 Speaker 1: with Matt Honorrado, director of social work and an adjunct 30 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,919 Speaker 1: clinical assistant professor at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical 31 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:44,399 Speaker 1: Center's Harding Hospital. He said, a people who contemplate suicide 32 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:46,880 Speaker 1: are ambivalent up to the end. They want the pain 33 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 1: to end, and if there was some other way to 34 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: end the pain than kill themselves, they would take that. 35 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: There's always hope. You make a small gesture of hey, 36 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,320 Speaker 1: I'm here if you need me, and that could stop 37 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 1: someone a week later from trying to kill themselves. The 38 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 1: small things we do make a huge impact. So how 39 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,520 Speaker 1: do you know if someone is dealing with depression? Almost 40 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: all of us get the blues at some point feeling 41 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:12,239 Speaker 1: down about our lives or ourselves. The difference with depression 42 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: is that this feeling does not lift and is not 43 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 1: improved by spending time with friends or taking part in 44 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: fun activities. Some fairly well known symptoms of depression include 45 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 1: sadness and loss of interest in hobbies enjoyed in the past, 46 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: weight gain or weight loss, trouble sleeping or excessive sleep, 47 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: difficulty concentrating, and suicidal thoughts or comments. A general irreability 48 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: is a lesser known and often overlooked symptom. Verbal statements 49 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 1: of feeling empty or worthless are also important to note, 50 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 1: as well as physical symptoms like pain, fatigue, headaches, or 51 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 1: stomach aches. If any of these symptoms last more than 52 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,000 Speaker 1: two weeks and interfere with the person's life functioning in 53 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,240 Speaker 1: some way, it's probably not just the blues, but like 54 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,519 Speaker 1: any serious illness, depression needs to be treated to get better. 55 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: A lot of people are scared to approach loved wife 56 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: about depression or suicide, whether it's because they don't want 57 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,639 Speaker 1: to offend the person, are afraid to make the situation 58 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,359 Speaker 1: too real, or are worried that they'll get yelled at. 59 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 1: We also spoke with doctor Catherine Burnett, assistant professor at 60 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,840 Speaker 1: the School of Social Work at Tulane University, via email. 61 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: She said anytime a sensitive issue is brought up, the 62 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 1: potential for defensiveness or anger is there. She also noted 63 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,519 Speaker 1: that you're not necessarily in for a fight though quote. 64 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: Everyone responds differently, and many people may be relieved to 65 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,920 Speaker 1: talk about their struggles, especially if a non judgmental and 66 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 1: sensitive approach is taken. In the event that the person 67 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 1: does react unhappily, it can be helpful to be open 68 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 1: and direct about your emotional response. Therapists suggest saying something 69 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: like I understand you're going through a lot, but when 70 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 1: you snap at me, it makes me feel sad. There's 71 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: no guarantee that one talk will result in action, and 72 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 1: that's okay. Burnett said, sometimes if a friend seems to 73 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: blow you off, you can affirm that you just care 74 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 1: about them and are there if they ever want to talk. 75 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:06,120 Speaker 1: Your friend may not respond immediately, but your care may 76 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 1: have left an opening for future conversations. When you do 77 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 1: initiate the conversation, calmly express concern, then let them do 78 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: a lot of the talking. Listen first, hold off on 79 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: any problem solving or suggestions. It might sound silly, but 80 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: just listening to a person's experience of depression can help 81 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: them validate that experience for themselves once they've had their say. 82 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:32,839 Speaker 1: Therapists recommend asking probing questions like how bad does this get? 83 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 1: Does it ever get worse than what you're telling me? 84 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,119 Speaker 1: Are you aware of having a lot of guilt or shame? 85 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 1: Just avoid saying things like look on the bright side, 86 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,600 Speaker 1: or it's not that bad, or even something like when 87 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,960 Speaker 1: I was depressed, once I started walking every day and 88 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 1: I got better. Remember that depression is a systemic illness. 89 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 1: It can affect a person's whole body and being, so 90 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: it needs treatment tailored for every individual person. It may 91 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,680 Speaker 1: take time, but hopefully they'll come to the conclusion that 92 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,320 Speaker 1: their depression can be treated. There are lots of options 93 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,599 Speaker 1: depending on how severe the situation is. If the person 94 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: is suicidal, there are services that offer twenty four hour 95 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:15,279 Speaker 1: access to trained professionals and other resources. In the US, 96 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:18,840 Speaker 1: try looking up the National Alliance on Mental Illness or 97 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,800 Speaker 1: Mental Health America, or the Suicide Prevention Lifeline or the 98 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:27,679 Speaker 1: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Some services are free, 99 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 1: and there are federally funded outpatient and inpatient programs available 100 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,919 Speaker 1: to folks without insurance, with payment based on sliding scale 101 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: according to income. If the situation is less urgent, talk 102 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,039 Speaker 1: to your friend about what option they might be most 103 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,480 Speaker 1: comfortable with. This could start with a trip to the 104 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 1: family doctor, particularly if your friend doesn't want to see 105 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 1: a therapist. After all, primary care doctors are also able 106 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 1: to rule out any other medical cause, like thyroid problems 107 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: or anemia. They can screen for depression, prescribe medications, and 108 00:05:56,839 --> 00:06:01,920 Speaker 1: refer patients to mental health professionals. Many employee assistance programs 109 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 1: offer free or reduced cost counseling sessions to staff and 110 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 1: family members, so be sure to check your specific plan 111 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:12,799 Speaker 1: for counseling and other resources. Annorado said, I think culturally 112 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:16,480 Speaker 1: we're becoming in America more comfortable talking about mental health, depression, 113 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,839 Speaker 1: and suicide. People are being more open and knowing that 114 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,160 Speaker 1: there is help out there, that you won't be judged 115 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: and are not alone. Today's episode is based on the 116 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,800 Speaker 1: article Here's how You Help a friend with depression on 117 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,920 Speaker 1: how stuffworks dot com, written by leoh Hoyt. Brain Stuff 118 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: is production by Heart Radio in partnership with how Stuffworks 119 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,920 Speaker 1: dot com and is produced by Tyler Klang. Four more 120 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:45,800 Speaker 1: podcasts from My Heart Radio. Visit the Aheartradio app, Apple Podcasts, 121 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.