1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,800
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

2
00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:05,600
Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up, but

3
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,120
Speaker 1: before that, we have a quick two minute break from

4
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,520
Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive.

5
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,600
Speaker 2: My boyfriend and I are on vacation together for six days.

6
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,400
Speaker 2: But he just told me he's cheating on me. It's

7
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,880
Speaker 2: not gonna be a fun vacation, not at all. I

8
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:21,200
Speaker 2: thirty Femala, have been in a seemingly happy relationship for

9
00:00:21,239 --> 00:00:24,479
Speaker 2: a little over three years. My boyfriend, thirty two male,

10
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,800
Speaker 2: is wonderful. We have lived together for about two years,

11
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:31,280
Speaker 2: rarely ever argue. We have so much in common and honestly,

12
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,479
Speaker 2: he's my best friend. I love him and I know

13
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,640
Speaker 2: that I want to marry this man. By the way,

14
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:40,519
Speaker 2: this comes from you slash Janet Doe seven seven on

15
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:44,279
Speaker 2: our slash Okay Storytime subreddit. So he flew into his

16
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,239
Speaker 2: hometown yesterday. I flew down this morning, and we are

17
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,800
Speaker 2: both catching a plane in the morning to go on

18
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:53,200
Speaker 2: vacation together for six days with two other friends of ours.

19
00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:57,080
Speaker 2: Everything is paid for and cancelations are not possible. Last minute,

20
00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,720
Speaker 2: I've been in our hotel room bawling my eyes out, dry.

21
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,080
Speaker 1: Heating for the past two hours. God.

22
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,600
Speaker 2: I ubered from the airport and when he came down

23
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:08,360
Speaker 2: to help me with my bags, I immediately knew something

24
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:11,920
Speaker 2: was wrong. He looked like heck and was visibly nervous.

25
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,639
Speaker 2: Once we got into a hotel room, he started tearing

26
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,440
Speaker 2: up and told me he had something to tell me,

27
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,039
Speaker 2: and he knows I'm going to leave him. But he

28
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,600
Speaker 2: can't keep a secret like that from me at all.

29
00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:23,840
Speaker 1: No, that's so scary. No.

30
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,800
Speaker 2: He explained how he and a few of his childhood

31
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,040
Speaker 2: friends all went to a bar and he ran into

32
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,560
Speaker 2: the girl that he went to college. But they never

33
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,960
Speaker 2: had spicy sleep, but did go on a few dates

34
00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:38,720
Speaker 2: almost seven years ago. She invited him in a group

35
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,800
Speaker 2: of other people back to her house, where they all proceeded.

36
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:44,280
Speaker 3: To get and do coca cola all night.

37
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,680
Speaker 2: I know about the occasional coca cola use and just

38
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,040
Speaker 2: catch up. Basically, he and the college friend ended up

39
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,680
Speaker 2: having spicy sleep, and she drove him to our hotel

40
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,440
Speaker 2: early this morning. He hasn't talked to her since, and

41
00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:01,920
Speaker 2: he swears that it means absolutely nothing. He said she's

42
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,840
Speaker 2: not even attractive and that he was just left up.

43
00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,440
Speaker 2: He says it was a big mistake and is begging

44
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,800
Speaker 2: for my forgiveness. No, A huge part of me wants

45
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,320
Speaker 2: to ask for every last detail, but I'm scared to

46
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,880
Speaker 2: know that there is potentially more to the story.

47
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:16,440
Speaker 1: I don't know.

48
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,160
Speaker 2: I want to forgive him and enjoy our time away,

49
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,800
Speaker 2: but I truly don't know. How are there such occasions

50
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,239
Speaker 2: where you really can't help yourself and it was really

51
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,800
Speaker 2: a spur of the moment mistake or is there something

52
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:31,160
Speaker 2: hidden beneath the surface And my happy relationship has been

53
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:32,640
Speaker 2: anything but this.

54
00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:37,240
Speaker 3: Whole time, And there are three updates, But what do

55
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:38,000
Speaker 3: we think so far?

56
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:42,320
Speaker 1: Don't forgive him? There's no such thing as oh I

57
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,639
Speaker 1: couldn't help myself. Yeah, that's not how humans work, honestly,

58
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,400
Speaker 1: because I feel like that stuff is like there's so

59
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,360
Speaker 1: many steps you need to take yefore getting to that point.

60
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,480
Speaker 1: So there's got so many chances that you have to

61
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,920
Speaker 1: stop what you're doing and to take a second to

62
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,160
Speaker 1: take your clothes off. Yeah, maybe take one article look

63
00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:02,359
Speaker 1: of clothing off. I think, hmm, maybe this isn't quite right,

64
00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:04,840
Speaker 1: before you take the second one off back on?

65
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:05,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.

66
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:06,400
Speaker 1: Yeah.

67
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:10,400
Speaker 2: So update number one after basically begging him.

68
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,200
Speaker 3: He told me the name of the girl, and.

69
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,440
Speaker 1: I reached out to her. I called her and put

70
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:18,320
Speaker 1: her on speakers so we all three could talk. Unfortunately,

71
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,720
Speaker 1: I'm learning the situation was much worse than the story

72
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,320
Speaker 1: he originally told me, and I will be on a

73
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,960
Speaker 1: flight home in a few hours.

74
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:30,360
Speaker 2: This other girl is not unattractive than the spicy sleep

75
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,799
Speaker 2: was not protected. He and her had been flirting the

76
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:38,120
Speaker 2: entire three hours before they finally had spicy sleep. There

77
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,200
Speaker 2: was hand holding, she was sitting on his lap, They

78
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:45,080
Speaker 2: were making out a lot. He gave her mouth spicy sleep,

79
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:49,520
Speaker 2: and basically the spicy sleep lasted quite a while, with

80
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,880
Speaker 2: various things being done, not like the Coca cola out

81
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:55,920
Speaker 2: unpleasant quickie I was told.

82
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,080
Speaker 3: About Update number two.

83
00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,320
Speaker 2: First, I would just like to say thank you to

84
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:02,240
Speaker 2: everyone who was commented or messaged me. I appreciate all

85
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,040
Speaker 2: the kind messages, words of advice, and even some of

86
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,120
Speaker 2: the more harsher messages and comments. You guys have helped

87
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,680
Speaker 2: me more than you can imagine. I flew home this morning,

88
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,920
Speaker 2: took a nap, packed some of my things, took our cat,

89
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,080
Speaker 2: and I am staying with a friend.

90
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,279
Speaker 1: For the six days. He's away. He didn't want to

91
00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:19,960
Speaker 1: go on the trip, but I insisted.

92
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:22,159
Speaker 2: I told him, if he has ever loved me, to

93
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:25,360
Speaker 2: please give me the time and space I deserve. Unfortunately,

94
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:29,600
Speaker 2: our relationship is broken beyond repair. Yeah, the reasoning behind

95
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,400
Speaker 2: why he cheated doesn't matter, because the fact.

96
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,720
Speaker 3: Remains that he did that.

97
00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,760
Speaker 1: In all of our time together, I've never even considered

98
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:40,040
Speaker 1: or wondered about another man, and the first chance he got,

99
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,840
Speaker 1: he chose to have unsaved, spicy sleep with someone else.

100
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:47,680
Speaker 2: I believe that he loves me, and quite possibly is sorry.

101
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,040
Speaker 2: But I don't, however, believe that he has any respect

102
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,680
Speaker 2: for me or our life together good because he doesn't.

103
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,520
Speaker 2: It's true, You're right on the money. I don't know

104
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,960
Speaker 2: that I'd ever forgive him or trust him again. No

105
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,920
Speaker 2: respect and no t trust means no relationship.

106
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:02,760
Speaker 1: We do have a.

107
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,160
Speaker 2: Shared life, so the ending of this relationship is not

108
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,600
Speaker 2: quite as easy as me packing up and leaving and

109
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,039
Speaker 2: not looking back. We have shared accounts, both of our

110
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:13,960
Speaker 2: names on our lease, shared phote plans, and car insurance. Basically,

111
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,400
Speaker 2: the next few weeks are.

112
00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:16,000
Speaker 3: Going to be rough.

113
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:19,560
Speaker 1: That's so sad. Really, There is a whole nother update too.

114
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,680
Speaker 1: Oh two more updates. Oh man, my goodness, this is

115
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,520
Speaker 1: just like oh, pe separating their finances.

116
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, hopefully, Like that's all it is, and.

117
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:31,880
Speaker 1: It's really boring, and nothing else bad happens. Please please please. Yeah.

118
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:33,760
Speaker 1: I don't think Ope's done anything like. I think all

119
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,440
Speaker 1: of the right moves have been made in this horrible situation.

120
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,520
Speaker 1: I think she's handling it as well as she could. Yeah,

121
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,360
Speaker 1: making the right decisions. But update number three.

122
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,520
Speaker 2: I have no idea if anyone cares about the outcome

123
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,159
Speaker 2: of the situation. But it is almost cathartic to write

124
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,400
Speaker 2: it all down, so I'm doing it anyway. I finally

125
00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,560
Speaker 2: have a calm moment to sit at my computer and

126
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:55,279
Speaker 2: compose a logical thought. Upon me returning home, he and

127
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,240
Speaker 2: I had very little communication, at my request. I had

128
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,240
Speaker 2: originally planned to spend the at my friend's home to

129
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,560
Speaker 2: process this life altering event, but early this afternoon he

130
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:08,000
Speaker 2: texted me telling me he was home. Now, some people

131
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,440
Speaker 2: might think that shows a lot of effort on his part,

132
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:14,080
Speaker 2: that he's remorseful, and rather than enjoy his vacation, he

133
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,360
Speaker 2: flew home to talk. Perhaps I would feel that way too,

134
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,400
Speaker 2: except I asked for space I told him that if

135
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,440
Speaker 2: he had ever loved me, he would give me time alone.

136
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,720
Speaker 3: And he couldn't even give me that.

137
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,679
Speaker 2: I agreed to meet with him at our apartment to talk.

138
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,440
Speaker 2: I only wanted to talk about and sort out all

139
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,039
Speaker 2: the details our finances, our home, etc.

140
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:35,520
Speaker 1: We agreed on paying to break our lease, to stay

141
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,680
Speaker 1: on the insurance policy and phone plan together for now,

142
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,360
Speaker 1: but enroll auto pay so we're able to make our

143
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,120
Speaker 1: payments separately. I also asked for him to reimburse me

144
00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:47,600
Speaker 1: for what I paid towards the vacation from Hell. I

145
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,280
Speaker 1: wanted to wrap things up enough in that moment to

146
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,240
Speaker 1: where I would have to see and speak to.

147
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:53,600
Speaker 3: Him as little as possible.

148
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,640
Speaker 2: I know that some communication in the future will be inevitable,

149
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,920
Speaker 2: but right now I can't deal with it. I told

150
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,880
Speaker 2: him he can stay in our part until we have

151
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,200
Speaker 2: to leave. I packed some more of my things and left.

152
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,400
Speaker 2: I don't know if he looked upset or if he

153
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,920
Speaker 2: was crying. I honestly barely heard anything he had to

154
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,480
Speaker 2: say because I was so enraged at the person in

155
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,600
Speaker 2: front of me, a complete stranger. I don't know if

156
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,760
Speaker 2: the past three years were all alive. I don't know

157
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,280
Speaker 2: if he has cheated before, or that he would cheat

158
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,680
Speaker 2: on me again. All I'm sure of is that he

159
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,920
Speaker 2: was capable of lying and cheating. Now, I refuse to

160
00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,680
Speaker 2: be another cautionary tale of a woman who loves someone

161
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,520
Speaker 2: more than herself so she forgave a cheater, only to

162
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:34,160
Speaker 2: be cheated on again. There's a big difference between guilt

163
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,840
Speaker 2: and remorse. Update number four, Thank you to everyone who

164
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,720
Speaker 2: has commented or reached out after my last two posts.

165
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,120
Speaker 2: I first want to say that I'm doing okay, even

166
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,000
Speaker 2: after what I'm going to say in the post, I'm okay.

167
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,200
Speaker 2: I am going to attempt to make this as brief

168
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,160
Speaker 2: as possible because I can't get the situation any more

169
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,520
Speaker 2: of my heart or energy, but it will most likely

170
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,520
Speaker 2: belong here we go. I am all moved out of

171
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,680
Speaker 2: the apartment, my things going into storage because I'm still

172
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,640
Speaker 2: staying in my friend's home for the time being. This

173
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:05,000
Speaker 2: breakup has proved to be financially burdensome, but somehow money

174
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,360
Speaker 2: has managed to be the least.

175
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,400
Speaker 1: Stressful part of this sord deal.

176
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,880
Speaker 2: It turns out that I never knew the man I

177
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,240
Speaker 2: shared my life with for the past three years. My

178
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,480
Speaker 2: ex and I ended up having a conversation on the

179
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,600
Speaker 2: last day of us moving out. He seemed apologetic and

180
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,040
Speaker 2: sad and asked if we could talk. He said that

181
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,000
Speaker 2: he loves me and that he will always love me,

182
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,760
Speaker 2: and he wants us to stay together.

183
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,160
Speaker 3: No, no, no, don't fall for it.

184
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,160
Speaker 2: He apologized and said he would stop bus saying no

185
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,960
Speaker 2: more lies. I didn't feel the need to have a conversation,

186
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:33,480
Speaker 2: but I did have one question.

187
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,920
Speaker 3: I asked him why. I never could have imagined in

188
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,240
Speaker 3: a million years that he would tell me that the

189
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:42,800
Speaker 3: reason he cheated was because I miscarriaged six months ago.

190
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,800
Speaker 1: What, Oh my god. I didn't think he could get worse.

191
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:49,800
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, he got worse that, which means that

192
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:54,640
Speaker 1: he literally premeditated, premeditated. We wait. We went from oh,

193
00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:57,240
Speaker 1: it was just like a spur of the moment to oh,

194
00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:58,920
Speaker 1: it was hours of Lena.

195
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:04,520
Speaker 2: How months ago, six months ago, you miscarriaged, which is

196
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:08,200
Speaker 2: no one's control, literally out of your control, out of

197
00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,000
Speaker 2: your control, and so and why, oh my god, I

198
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,280
Speaker 2: would that punch him? This is insane, especially because of

199
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:17,120
Speaker 2: how supportive and loving he was during that period in

200
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:17,800
Speaker 2: our lives.

201
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,119
Speaker 3: I felt blindsided and betrayed.

202
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,880
Speaker 2: He said that he knows that it was not my fault,

203
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,800
Speaker 2: that there was nothing I could have done differently, but

204
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,079
Speaker 2: it had caused him to resent me, and that he

205
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:31,280
Speaker 2: was angry. He said he knew how this sounded, which

206
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,000
Speaker 2: is why he never talked to me about it. He

207
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,120
Speaker 2: didn't want to hurt me. I, of course, at this point,

208
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:36,760
Speaker 2: felt sick.

209
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,440
Speaker 3: My heart hurt in ways I never knew possible.

210
00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:41,640
Speaker 1: Even the death of my father did not hurt in

211
00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:44,680
Speaker 1: ways his words and actions were hurting me. Here is

212
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:48,280
Speaker 1: the man that I've unconditionally loved and supported for over

213
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,240
Speaker 1: three years.

214
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:49,920
Speaker 3: I was his.

215
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,800
Speaker 2: Biggest cheerleader in life, encouraging him to be his own

216
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,400
Speaker 2: person and still live his own life. I wanted him

217
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,480
Speaker 2: to be happy. We never went to bed mad at

218
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,920
Speaker 2: each other. We never called each other names. We never

219
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,560
Speaker 2: never not kissed each other good night or goodbye in

220
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:06,000
Speaker 2: the morning. Our relationship seemed great. And yet he's telling

221
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,040
Speaker 2: me for the last six months he's resented me, borderline

222
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:13,080
Speaker 2: hated me at times. He admitted to downloading Tinder and

223
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,440
Speaker 2: chatting with women for the last six months. He swore

224
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:20,679
Speaker 2: that it never became spicy up until the night he cheated,

225
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,079
Speaker 2: and that was only because they had history.

226
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,920
Speaker 1: I have no clue if that was true. Honestly, I

227
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,320
Speaker 1: don't care whether or not it is. The cheating is.

228
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:32,480
Speaker 2: Minimal compared to the words he just spoke. Yeah, we

229
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,120
Speaker 2: were both crying and I handed him my keys for

230
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,200
Speaker 2: him to turn in. I gave him a hug and

231
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:40,080
Speaker 2: told him that he needs therapy and that I never

232
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,240
Speaker 2: want to speak to him or see him ever again.

233
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,320
Speaker 2: I have a therapy appointment next week and it will

234
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:46,640
Speaker 2: start to work unhealing.

235
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:47,240
Speaker 1: Here we are.

236
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,440
Speaker 3: We don't need him, don't need him at all. But

237
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:52,200
Speaker 3: you know who we do need is you?

238
00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:55,440
Speaker 1: Joining us live every weekday at three pm PSD.

239
00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:58,440
Speaker 2: Just have our profile, Davin, all the therapy you need

240
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:03,960
Speaker 2: right on our bitch. I'm looking at potentially getting alone

241
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,359
Speaker 2: so I can get out of anything left.

242
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:07,240
Speaker 1: That we have shared.

243
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,760
Speaker 2: I also want to look into moving to a different city,

244
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,600
Speaker 2: but that is still up in the air. I've changed

245
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,480
Speaker 2: my phone number and blocked him everywhere. There was never

246
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,760
Speaker 2: a chance of him and I getting back together, and

247
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,840
Speaker 2: this just solidifies my decision. This will most likely be

248
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,360
Speaker 2: my last post on the subject, but I once again

249
00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:24,840
Speaker 2: thank each and every one of you You're welcome.

250
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,640
Speaker 1: You're welcome. You went through so much, so as much

251
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:31,640
Speaker 1: four updates, Yes, four updates. That's right. Well, I'm so

252
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,880
Speaker 1: proud of you, op, I'm so proud. Din's so great.

253
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,040
Speaker 1: I feel like in so many of these situations, it's

254
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,800
Speaker 1: so easy for people to like just fall right back

255
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,920
Speaker 1: into some similar relationships, and it takes so much strength

256
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,080
Speaker 1: do what you did, Ope to realize, you know, it's

257
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:44,440
Speaker 1: not me.

258
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, this guy.

259
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,480
Speaker 1: Right, and a stand up for yourself and like, even

260
00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,840
Speaker 1: though the whole thing is so like, you're making the

261
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:54,160
Speaker 1: right decisions to make it better as you go along

262
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:58,840
Speaker 1: and make it healthier. Indubit. That's the end of that story.

263
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,400
Speaker 1: My wife is fantasizing about other men. I think she's

264
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,680
Speaker 1: cheating on me in her mind. My wife and me

265
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,720
Speaker 1: married six months after we met and have been married

266
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,080
Speaker 1: for just over a year. She has had about six

267
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,000
Speaker 1: times as many partners as me, and unlike me, who

268
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:19,840
Speaker 1: mostly had one night stands under the influence, she's slept

269
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:23,800
Speaker 1: with people who existed in her presence, music teachers, coworkers,

270
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,640
Speaker 1: old friends, but she was always interested in them, like

271
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,800
Speaker 1: a crush or something. By the way, this comes from

272
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,840
Speaker 1: F three four three four six on the Okay Storytime

273
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,880
Speaker 1: suburtt So I was insecure before I met her, and

274
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,559
Speaker 1: this information made me more insecure. Also because we started

275
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,400
Speaker 1: dating as friends while her ex was sleeping somewhere else

276
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,679
Speaker 1: and slept together for the first time the day before

277
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,640
Speaker 1: they finally split. This makes me insecure that there is

278
00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:51,120
Speaker 1: another me out there. She is the kind of person

279
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:54,880
Speaker 1: who makes friends easily and keeps in contact occasionally with exes.

280
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,040
Speaker 1: Why would I sleep with them? I tried that it

281
00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,440
Speaker 1: didn't work. Don't be insecure is basically her response, which

282
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,319
Speaker 1: in fairness is logical, But my feelings of insecurity were

283
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:07,320
Speaker 1: still there. I was working on it, making progress. The

284
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,079
Speaker 1: last six months have been hard. We lost some animals,

285
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:15,960
Speaker 1: professional setbacks, financial setbacks, surgeries with recovery periods, car trouble,

286
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,000
Speaker 1: house trouble, etc. This has led to us taking out

287
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:23,079
Speaker 1: frustration on each other oh no, and several fights and screaming.

288
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,240
Speaker 1: We often think alike but feel we are one, but

289
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,920
Speaker 1: feel we are a bit too much and wanted a

290
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:32,040
Speaker 1: bit of individuality. On September twenty fourth, we had a

291
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,040
Speaker 1: nasty fight where we both said we were failing at

292
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,480
Speaker 1: our professions. It led us to double down on prioritizing work.

293
00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:40,920
Speaker 1: She is a PhD and has to go to find

294
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,839
Speaker 1: research participants. I'm in it and had to stay at

295
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,120
Speaker 1: home in front of the computer more. The next week

296
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,880
Speaker 1: I felt her more distant, and as a result, tried

297
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,560
Speaker 1: to ask what was wrong and to be more affectionate.

298
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,000
Speaker 1: She was somewhat affectionate back, but also said she needed

299
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:58,120
Speaker 1: to rEFInd herself and that she had lost herself being

300
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,280
Speaker 1: with me too much. It culminates last Saturday, where my

301
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,959
Speaker 1: frustrations led to anger and we slept in separate bedrooms.

302
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,320
Speaker 1: On Sunday, we have a huge fight and I say,

303
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,520
Speaker 1: I'm scared. This is the end of the marriage. She

304
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,160
Speaker 1: says she had a fantasy about a guy she met

305
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,880
Speaker 1: a friend. I asked if they did something physical? She

306
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,120
Speaker 1: said no. I asked if she wanted to kiss him.

307
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:20,600
Speaker 1: She said yes, maybe it would help sort out feelings.

308
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,720
Speaker 1: Does she want to sleep with them? Same answer? And

309
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:27,120
Speaker 1: there is more to this story, so much more, but

310
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:31,160
Speaker 1: pausing really quick. My question so far is is she

311
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:34,000
Speaker 1: having like a fantasy or a dream? Yeah, it sounded

312
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,960
Speaker 1: like it was a dream. Yeah, but she said it

313
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,760
Speaker 1: was a fantasy because I feel like a dream. You

314
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,160
Speaker 1: can't really control dream, but a fantasy is are you

315
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:45,600
Speaker 1: daydreaming about this? Because you Yeah, it kind of seems

316
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,760
Speaker 1: like maybe she had a dream about the other person

317
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,080
Speaker 1: and then from waking up in the dream, she's like,

318
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:54,800
Speaker 1: not a bad idea, bad idea out, Yeah, But the

319
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,280
Speaker 1: fact that she's like, she's like, I was fantasizing about him.

320
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,240
Speaker 1: Maybe I could just maybe I could just sleep with

321
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,960
Speaker 1: him to figure Yeah. I think they have so many

322
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,920
Speaker 1: more problems though than just this. It seems like they've

323
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,200
Speaker 1: had like months. I think they just got married way

324
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,520
Speaker 1: too soon. Wait after six months, like you'll wonder you're

325
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:14,640
Speaker 1: having all these problems and stuff like coming up because

326
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,160
Speaker 1: you don't really know each other that well yet. Exactly,

327
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:22,240
Speaker 1: Like that's christ exactly, Like that's yeah, that's just a

328
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,560
Speaker 1: lot Like Yeah, I feel like you're right, Like I

329
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:27,280
Speaker 1: feel like after more time, you definitely be more secure

330
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,600
Speaker 1: in that relationship. Yeah, for sure, but op continues. She

331
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,280
Speaker 1: then somewhat suddenly says she has to go to an

332
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:36,080
Speaker 1: event for Palestine to look for participants. I drive her

333
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,600
Speaker 1: there at three, I ask her to stay, but no,

334
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,520
Speaker 1: I cry at home and tell her I feel abandoned.

335
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,800
Speaker 1: She hoos she chose to sleep at my parents, who

336
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,680
Speaker 1: live close by the event, instead of coming home. I

337
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,280
Speaker 1: say I need her. Next morning, the event continues. I

338
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:54,160
Speaker 1: am desperate and emotionally broken. She goes to the event

339
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,040
Speaker 1: again in the morning. In the afternoon, the event finishes,

340
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,280
Speaker 1: but there's a protest. She goes to it. The guy

341
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,880
Speaker 1: she has a fantasy about was also at the event

342
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,920
Speaker 1: and was coming back from the protest. He's just a

343
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:08,400
Speaker 1: friend though, Oh no, is he? Though? Is he really?

344
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,200
Speaker 1: I don't buy it. When she comes home, we talk,

345
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,920
Speaker 1: but it's mostly blame. She thinks I'm too needy. I

346
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,840
Speaker 1: think she doesn't prioritize the marriage and me. She says

347
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,200
Speaker 1: the job is important and she needs time to think.

348
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,320
Speaker 1: I say, I'm important and my feelings are important. The

349
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,320
Speaker 1: next day there is more of the same. I feel

350
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,280
Speaker 1: she should cut contact with this guy for a bit

351
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,280
Speaker 1: and be with me so we can focus on us.

352
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,080
Speaker 1: She doesn't think so. She says he's just a friend.

353
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:36,240
Speaker 1: Now in my mind, the words feel like a slip up.

354
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,480
Speaker 1: I feel I have given her many chances to come

355
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,280
Speaker 1: back to me, prioritize me, and show me she cares

356
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,920
Speaker 1: about me and the relationship. By sacrificing a bit of

357
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:47,200
Speaker 1: contact with this guy or going to an event protest.

358
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:50,800
Speaker 1: She also participates to show support in the night. The

359
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:54,840
Speaker 1: word now bothers me. I don't trust her anymore because

360
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:57,440
Speaker 1: she abandoned and neglected me when I needed her. We

361
00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,000
Speaker 1: have been sleeping in separate rooms for the last few days.

362
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,680
Speaker 1: The next morning, I asked her to see your messages

363
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,200
Speaker 1: with him controlling. I know, but since I don't trust

364
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:08,000
Speaker 1: her words, I wanted to confirm the words with proof

365
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,800
Speaker 1: so as to build some trust. The messages begin the

366
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:14,120
Speaker 1: day after the big fight. It's a thousand messages at least.

367
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,720
Speaker 1: It took me over three hours to read, and I

368
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:20,880
Speaker 1: skimped most o man, my god. He has saved as

369
00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,879
Speaker 1: my habybee in the phone. He is a non Muslim

370
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:28,320
Speaker 1: from Afghanistan. Habibi means my love, but can also mean

371
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:31,920
Speaker 1: my dear honey. It doesn't really matter. Those are both

372
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:37,480
Speaker 1: pretty similar vibes. Yeah say. The messages start innocent but

373
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,840
Speaker 1: become more and more intimate, including pictures. But I don't

374
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,320
Speaker 1: think bicy picks at least, she says not, though the

375
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,840
Speaker 1: photos are the type that can only be viewed once.

376
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,040
Speaker 1: She says, stop it, you know I'm married in the beginning,

377
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,639
Speaker 1: but it doesn't stop. It doesn't get dirty, but she

378
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,119
Speaker 1: might say things like I don't mind you being assertive.

379
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,400
Speaker 1: They share a lot of common things, like liking Interstellar

380
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,120
Speaker 1: and being so in sync that the breakfast at the

381
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,480
Speaker 1: same time, at between seven to eight. And then she says,

382
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,520
Speaker 1: you are in me and I'm in you. We have

383
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:09,439
Speaker 1: the same essence. There are increasingly more heart emojis. On Sunday,

384
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 1: a message from him reads, I love you. She responds

385
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,520
Speaker 1: in our language glad or elsker. Glad is used for family,

386
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,640
Speaker 1: et cetera. Elsker is reserved for the one love kind

387
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,399
Speaker 1: of person. He responds elsker. She says something and later

388
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,760
Speaker 1: says I would have liked to respond the same earlier.

389
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:29,240
Speaker 1: So I think what happened was he says I love you.

390
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,800
Speaker 1: She says, I love you, but in a familiar way.

391
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,560
Speaker 1: Then later says, I would have liked to say in

392
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:38,959
Speaker 1: the I love you. Yeah, whoa is this girl doing?

393
00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:44,000
Speaker 1: That's crazy. Your fantasies are coming to life. Stop it's crazy,

394
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,040
Speaker 1: she says. She will try to go a bit earlier,

395
00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:49,080
Speaker 1: and now she is in the car, so because I'm there,

396
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:51,960
Speaker 1: she can't write. But he should continue sending messages. She

397
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 1: wanted to see him before the event. In the evening,

398
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,639
Speaker 1: they talk about the children they will have, getting married,

399
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,199
Speaker 1: and traveling the world. My wife says that I need

400
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,240
Speaker 1: to give each other some time to date to figure

401
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,919
Speaker 1: it all out because of the situation. She realizes that

402
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,240
Speaker 1: this is too much and has a discussion with him

403
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:10,360
Speaker 1: in person on Monday that they need to just be friends.

404
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,920
Speaker 1: She then comes home to me. They continue to send

405
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,880
Speaker 1: messages and he writes things like, don't believe he's don't

406
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,879
Speaker 1: believe his lies, he's needy. You have no fault. Stand

407
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,960
Speaker 1: up for yourself, which she did do. In the evening,

408
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,680
Speaker 1: she talks with her mom, realizes she's been an in

409
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,000
Speaker 1: for not putting the marriage first, but doesn't tell about

410
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,320
Speaker 1: the guy. Her mom says, of course, they don't trust her.

411
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,679
Speaker 1: She tells me she wants to change and commit, but

412
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,920
Speaker 1: sends messages with him about the situation. As I'm reading

413
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,800
Speaker 1: the messages, his messages are coming in. Oh my god.

414
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 1: So as OP is looking at these messages, there's guys

415
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 1: are still texting. Oh my gosh. She responds that I

416
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 1: saw all the messages. He responds, what, and we go

417
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,680
Speaker 1: each to her own. She calls her mom for two hours.

418
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,919
Speaker 1: I a friend. She tells her mom the whole story,

419
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,879
Speaker 1: and I can hear screaming and crying from upstairs, her

420
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 1: mom telling her she has sabotaged her own marriage and

421
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,840
Speaker 1: this guy is crazy. You don't love someone after one

422
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:06,200
Speaker 1: and a half weeks of texting and then talk about

423
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,240
Speaker 1: your children, you will have My friend tells me to

424
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,640
Speaker 1: go out the effing door and sleep in his spare bedroom.

425
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,959
Speaker 1: I tell her I'm leaving, and also that blocking that

426
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,320
Speaker 1: guy was a must, but I'm still leaving. She says,

427
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:17,199
Speaker 1: what if I don't come back, then she would have

428
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 1: blocked him for nothing, but blocks him pretty quick anyways.

429
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,639
Speaker 1: She says, sorry forgive me.

430
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:23,480
Speaker 3: I was wrong.

431
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,399
Speaker 1: I see that now, but it's all just words, not

432
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 1: I understand. Prioritizing him over you was wrong and broke

433
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 1: your trust. Not specifics if that makes sense. Nothing to

434
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,639
Speaker 1: indicate that she truly understands what this felt like for me,

435
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,719
Speaker 1: nor any idea on how to fix it. Just please

436
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,560
Speaker 1: come back. She's worried about not having a car, there

437
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,239
Speaker 1: are very limited buses where we live, and that our

438
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,119
Speaker 1: friend is passing by a nearby town on Saturday, and

439
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,919
Speaker 1: on Sunday there is the birthday party in a different

440
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,360
Speaker 1: city of the husband of the woman who introduced her

441
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 1: to the guy. They live in the same building. He's

442
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 1: likely to be there too. I say, it is what

443
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 1: it is. It feels like she's short, shortsighted and not

444
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,119
Speaker 1: considering the fact that her marriage is ending, just the

445
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,639
Speaker 1: immediate consequences. I'm worried about the next fifty years of

446
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 1: my life and who to spend it with. What happens

447
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,800
Speaker 1: in the next month is almost irrelevant to me. Anyway,

448
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,520
Speaker 1: I'm sitting on my friend's couch writing this on my phone.

449
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:20,480
Speaker 1: Are things forgivable? How can I begin trusting again? How

450
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,160
Speaker 1: can I deal with her going to work a few

451
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,480
Speaker 1: hundred yards from where the guy lives? How do I

452
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 1: understand if she has truly understood what she did? How

453
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 1: could I not be insecure that she will fall in

454
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 1: love with another one or the same again. Remember my

455
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,160
Speaker 1: insecurities were validated, and you can validate us by joining

456
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 1: us live every weekday after a PMPSD on YouTube. Just

457
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,480
Speaker 1: dab hero phone and there is a teensy bit left

458
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 1: of the story. The thing is like, I feel like

459
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,640
Speaker 1: sometimes you have these cases where there's no physical cheating

460
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,200
Speaker 1: in a marriage and they get over it. But that's

461
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 1: usually when there's like ten years of marriage or you know,

462
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 1: like at least right a couple of years. You guys

463
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 1: have been together for like a year and a half total. Yeah,

464
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,400
Speaker 1: And I feel like this is an interesting situation where

465
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,440
Speaker 1: it's like this probably like I haven't seen a lot

466
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 1: of cases of emotional cheating, but this is probably one

467
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 1: of the most, like so emotionally, Yeah, it's like the

468
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 1: most apparent one that I've seen. I mean, they're saying

469
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 1: I love you, you're kids with you. Yeah, Like it's

470
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,720
Speaker 1: basically not physical because they haven't been able to yet. Yeah,

471
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 1: and that's pretty around to it. She's being physical with

472
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,560
Speaker 1: him in her dreams exactly, Like especially when she was like,

473
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 1: what if I don't know if you're going to come back?

474
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:25,919
Speaker 3: Then I blocked him for nothing.

475
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:28,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was it's like, come on, what's like you

476
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:33,440
Speaker 1: really she's trying to just like shake to exactly. She's

477
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 1: just trying to do everything at once, and you can't

478
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 1: do that. You can't come to relationships, you can't have

479
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,680
Speaker 1: it all one at a time, especially when you chose

480
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 1: to marry one literally just dating like you you're married, girl,

481
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,320
Speaker 1: like married. You did say yes to that marriage, yeah,

482
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 1: that you were ready.

483
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 3: So don't take your back, don't take your rag. She

484
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,400
Speaker 3: just she's gonna do this again with someone else if

485
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:52,720
Speaker 3: you do.

486
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 1: Exactly. But there's a little bit left to the story.

487
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 1: I read a bit about Limerens today. I don't know.

488
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 1: I'm at a loss. Cut my loss and leave. Rebuild

489
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 1: the trust seems like a monumental task, especially when she

490
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,280
Speaker 1: doesn't seem to grasp the consequences of her actions. And

491
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 1: if I go back to her, will she ever learn

492
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,160
Speaker 1: that it's possible to go too far and you can

493
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 1: lose what you have forever. I truly love her and

494
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 1: want the best for her. If it's me, then great.

495
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 1: But if she has to learn from me to hold

496
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 1: on to something good with the next guy, that's okay too.

497
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 1: And that is the end of that story. Wow, you

498
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:29,199
Speaker 1: can't You can't make her love you. If she's not

499
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,879
Speaker 1: willing to give you all of that love. You just

500
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,080
Speaker 1: got to move on to the next person. She's not

501
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 1: willing to commit to you, and that's her own problem, exactly.

502
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 1: You don't have to deal with that, deal with someone

503
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 1: find someone that would love to commit to you and

504
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 1: do not want to look at anyone else at all

505
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 1: because they're out there. They are out there, and they'll

506
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 1: find you. They'll find you. But that is the end

507
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:52,119
Speaker 1: of that story, so we'll see you for the next one.

508
00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 2: My husband cheated on me, so I reported him for

509
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 2: tax evasion and now he owes five hundred thousand dollars.

510
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 1: That's how you do it. That's how you do it, okay.

511
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 1: So this is a bit complicated.

512
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,640
Speaker 2: I met my ex when I was eighteen years old

513
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 2: and he was twenty three. Within five weeks we found

514
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 2: out I was pregnant. We decided to try and make

515
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,640
Speaker 2: it work and ended up being together for six years and.

516
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 3: We have two beautiful daughters that are my world.

517
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,520
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from you slash dependent drive

518
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 1: sixty six seventy five on the Okay storytime subreddit. So

519
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 1: our relationship was okay at best.

520
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 2: He wouldn't let me look at the bills, and I

521
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 2: was made to hand over my entire paycheck every week.

522
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 2: I had to get permission to spend any money, even

523
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,240
Speaker 2: to go get coffee with my mom. He was very

524
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 2: controlling and when called out on this, he would use

525
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 2: my past as a reason. My mom wasn't around all

526
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 2: the time and dad was, and my biggest issue was

527
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 2: his mom and sister. My biggest issue was his mom

528
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 2: and sister in law. They were constantly interfering in our home.

529
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 2: They had an opinion on everything, even down to how

530
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 2: I do my kid's hair. I'm white in their Pacific islander.

531
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,880
Speaker 2: I I went with it for a while, but over

532
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 2: time I just couldn't do it anymore, so I ended

533
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:06,359
Speaker 2: the relationship good.

534
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: I got soul custody of both of the kids. He

535
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 1: said kids are the woman's job, and I left my

536
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 1: job as my youngest was one, so I couldn't afford childcare.

537
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 1: I got the house, and when he left, I found

538
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,639
Speaker 1: out he hadn't been paying many of the bills and

539
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 1: we were behind on the power, gas and water bill

540
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 1: by at.

541
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 3: Least six months.

542
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 2: I managed to resolve the issues with the companies with

543
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,400
Speaker 2: the help of my mom, and then we found out

544
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,919
Speaker 2: he took a credit card in my name and maxed

545
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 2: it out by ten thousand dollars. Two years later, he

546
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 2: got into a massive fight with his two brothers and

547
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,119
Speaker 2: ended up in the hospital, so I allowed him to

548
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 2: stay with me until he got better and found another

549
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 2: place to stay. At this time, he was living at

550
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 2: his brother's house. I found the situation very strange, as

551
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 2: they were extremely close before my ex let's call him

552
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:55,880
Speaker 2: Romeo was even best man at his brother's.

553
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 3: Let's call him Jack wedding.

554
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,159
Speaker 2: No one would tell me at first, but then I

555
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,199
Speaker 2: started hearing from other friends. There was a rumor that

556
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 2: Romeo had been having an affair with Jack's wife let's

557
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 2: call her Cleo, and that she admitted it in front

558
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 2: of the entire family while she was four months pregnant

559
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 2: with their third child.

560
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 1: I asked Romeo, he denied it. Our oldest daughter, eight

561
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 1: years old at the time, heard the rumors as well.

562
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 1: While at the park. She asked her dad and.

563
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 2: He said he would never dream of being with Cleo

564
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 2: and the idea made him want to be sick. We

565
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 2: dropped it, but whenever someone would bring it up, we

566
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 2: would always defend him, and we even cut ties with

567
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 2: his family over it. Wow, even though he was the

568
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 2: responsible party.

569
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 1: Yeah.

570
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 2: Three years later, when my oldest daughter was in the hospital,

571
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 2: she had just been diagnosed with type one diabetes. That week,

572
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 2: Romeo turned to me, thinking our daughter was asleep and

573
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 2: told me he had started dating Cleo and that it

574
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 2: was serious.

575
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 1: Why did you say this over your You're maybe not

576
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:01,199
Speaker 1: a sleep daughter, right, this is the conversation that you

577
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 1: need to have at the hospital. Yeah.

578
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:07,199
Speaker 2: I was floored, first because I was dealing already with

579
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,119
Speaker 2: a very serious matter of my child's health. And second,

580
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 2: I haven't slept in a week since she was admitted

581
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 2: to the hospital. And third, he had sworn over and

582
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:20,679
Speaker 2: over and over again that he never would be with her. Plus,

583
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 2: to be honest, she was a total be to me

584
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:26,880
Speaker 2: when we were together, probably because she was freaking jealous.

585
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:28,680
Speaker 1: You want to steal.

586
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 3: Your husband, I guess so. Oh my goodness.

587
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 2: I had always known she had a crush on him,

588
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 2: but he had always ignored her, so I didn't think

589
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:38,400
Speaker 2: of it too much.

590
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 3: So this was a shock.

591
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 2: After he left the hospital, my daughter turned to me

592
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,640
Speaker 2: and said, can you tell Daddy.

593
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 3: He he don't have to come back.

594
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 1: To the hospital. I don't want to see him right now.

595
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 1: It broke my heart, as she was always Daddy's little girl.

596
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,679
Speaker 1: Romeo stepped out after that.

597
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 2: It has been three years since the hospital and Romeo

598
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,360
Speaker 2: is living with Cleo. He sees our youngest daughter one

599
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,919
Speaker 2: night a month and hasn't spoken to our oldest in

600
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 2: three years.

601
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 1: I have been working Monday to Friday school hours and

602
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 1: am one hundred percent paying for everything. It's not much,

603
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:13,120
Speaker 1: but we get by.

604
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,679
Speaker 2: The kids know not to ask for much, and Christmas

605
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 2: only happens at my mom's house as I cannot afford presents.

606
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,720
Speaker 2: Every day is a struggle, but we are getting through

607
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 2: it together. I recently found out my oldest was allowed

608
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:29,359
Speaker 2: more assistance with IRD as she is special needs and

609
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 2: that would help pay her medical needs. I first had

610
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 2: to get Romeo on an official child support through court.

611
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 1: He just left before.

612
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 2: He didn't show up and wasn't answering their letter, emails, calls,

613
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 2: or texts. So IRD decided to do some digging and

614
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 2: they came back to saying they couldn't do much as

615
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 2: he was living in poverty himself, earning three hundred to

616
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 2: four hundred dollars a week. This shocked me because I

617
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 2: know he earns at least nine thousand dollars.

618
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,600
Speaker 3: A week because he brags about it to everyone. Interesting,

619
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 3: very interesting.

620
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 1: I then found out that due to his cry of poverty,

621
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 1: he was only paying seventy five dollars a month, which

622
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 1: he failed to pay over the seven years we were separated. Now,

623
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: I know, you know, government official, but that sounds illegal. Hm.

624
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 1: Methinks me thinks something's going on. To say I was

625
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 1: angry would be an understatement. I then went into IRD

626
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 1: and spoke to the person dealing with case, where I

627
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 1: gave her messages he had sent me bragging about his income,

628
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 1: also photos of expensive holidays he had taken with his

629
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 1: girlfriend and she had posted online. I also gave them

630
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 1: photos of his brand new ute that he had bought

631
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 1: using cash. I think, I U is like it's it's

632
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 1: like a house kind of thing. I don't know, it's

633
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,959
Speaker 1: like not a tent. It's between a tent and a cabin.

634
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 1: I think it's like a can. I am thinking of it.

635
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know.

636
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 1: Want to use this to use whatever it is.

637
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 2: He has got one he doesn't have to hear. IRD

638
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 2: was angry and said they would look into it. So

639
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 2: I recently found out. They found out Romeo had lied

640
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,240
Speaker 2: on his income. He was getting eighty five percent of

641
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 2: his pay in cash and only declaring the rest. He

642
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:26,719
Speaker 2: now owed IRD one and a half million dollars.

643
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 1: Oh okay, so he was he was getting all of

644
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 1: his money in cash, so it was he was able

645
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 1: to not pay taxes on it, right right, So now

646
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 1: that they know or he basically in debt, Yeah, they're like,

647
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 1: you have to pay us half a million dollars to IRD. Yeah.

648
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 1: They also calculated how much he owes me for the

649
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 1: last three years based off what he should have been

650
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 1: paying with his real income, and that comes to fifty

651
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 1: thousand dollars.

652
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 3: Yes, I don't think.

653
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 2: I will see any of my money, and we are

654
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 2: unsure what is going to happen to Romeo. Maybe Cleo

655
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 2: and Romeo found out that Romeo's funds were being inspected

656
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 2: and their house and cars were potentially to be seized.

657
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 2: They also found out that it was all started by

658
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 2: my inquiry to funds.

659
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: You ever have any inquiries of what we're doing over here,

660
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 1: you can join us live every weekday at three pm PSD.

661
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: Just have our profile to have a profile. What's going on? Man?

662
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 1: I think I've honestly hope he's handled it really well. Yeah.

663
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 1: I think she killed it. Yeah. I think like you

664
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 1: were in a really bad situation with your ex. Yeah,

665
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 1: who was not paying the proper amount of money. Uh

666
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 1: so you freaking got him on a taximasion or whatever.

667
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, you just turned him in and destormed.

668
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: Yes, it's his fault he did all those things.

669
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Cleo came to my work screaming about how

670
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 2: I'm just jealous, that Romeo never loved me and that

671
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 2: I had trapped.

672
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 3: Him into a relationship due to the kids.

673
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 1: She then told me they had been having an affair

674
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 1: long before my second daughter was born. My youngest is

675
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 1: two years older than her first child, who is six.

676
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 1: I then asked if she knew who the father of

677
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 1: her three kids are, because Jack is an amazing dad

678
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 1: and he would have a right to know. She told

679
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 1: me to mind my own business. She had just screamed

680
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 1: this information on me in public in front of coworkers

681
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,800
Speaker 1: and customers. Needless to say, she was banned from my

682
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,840
Speaker 1: work and I now have a restraining order so she

683
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 1: can't see me or any of my kids. Smart but

684
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: I have been told I should have left things alone

685
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 1: and not giving the information to the IRD for the

686
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 1: sake of my kids.

687
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 2: I'm not sure. Now I have had time to calm down,

688
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:39,960
Speaker 2: So am I the a whole No.

689
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 1: You're trying to get money for your kids. That he

690
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: owed you. Yeah, he owed you money, and it turned

691
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 1: out he owed other people a lot of money.

692
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're doing your work for your family. You're doing

693
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 3: you work for your country.

694
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 1: You don't country, and for queen and country.

695
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 3: But yeah, that's the end of the story.

696
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 1: Hey it's Sam, I'm your ogi host here bring it

697
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from

698
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 1: our sponsor. My mother in law demanded I convert to

699
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 1: her religion, so I'm cutting her off.

700
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 3: My way or the highway.

701
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 1: I am thirty five, female and a single mother of

702
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 1: a twelve year old boy. I am no longer with

703
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 1: my ex husband. For the past six years, although I

704
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 1: am no longer with him, I made the decision to

705
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 1: still have a relationship with my mother in law since

706
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 1: my son is her only grandson. By the way, this

707
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 1: comes from Dimensions Voyager on the arsas Shoke storytime separated,

708
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,920
Speaker 1: so my relationship with her is a bit complicated. For

709
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 1: the backstory, when I met my ex husband, we were

710
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 1: both at the university and in our early twenties. At

711
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 1: the time, I was living in a room share arrangement

712
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 1: and he was still living with his mother. We got

713
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 1: in a relationship fairly quickly, in which I got introduced

714
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 1: to his mother quite early in our relationship as well.

715
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 1: There I found out she was a Muslim revert. I

716
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 1: was raised Christian and my mother is quite devout, but

717
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 1: she doesn't force her religious beliefs onto me or my

718
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 1: brother's in sae as she believes that we should follow

719
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 1: anything in our own accord. That's nice, That is nice. Yeah,

720
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,360
Speaker 1: fast forwarding. I eventually got a few issues relating to

721
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 1: my living arrangements, which was my fault really, and I

722
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 1: was no longer able to stay there. My ex husband

723
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: suggested for me to move in with him in his

724
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 1: mother's house. I initially refused and thought it would be

725
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 1: awkward and that I would find somewhere else to stay,

726
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 1: but he insisted that it would be okay as it

727
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 1: would only be temporary until I would be able to

728
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,439
Speaker 1: get back on my feet. His mother was kind enough

729
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,920
Speaker 1: to agree, and I was really grateful for the help,

730
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:35,640
Speaker 1: or so I thought, because this is where things kind

731
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 1: of derailed. After moving into his mother's house, I eventually

732
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:41,719
Speaker 1: got pregnant, even though I was on the pill with

733
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 1: who with him. This left me quite panicked because we

734
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 1: didn't even have a place together and I was the

735
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: only one who was working. On the other hand, we

736
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 1: had the living arrangements. His mother's place was a two

737
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,719
Speaker 1: bedroom apartment and not very spacious. She didn't like us

738
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 1: using the living room, so we would stay in his

739
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,399
Speaker 1: room most of the time. While we were in house,

740
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 1: we were not allowed to use the bathroom after bedtime

741
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:07,359
Speaker 1: what otherwise it would be too much noise and would

742
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,879
Speaker 1: wake her up. Same for the kitchen. They were both

743
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 1: closer to her room than ours. We also had curfews

744
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,320
Speaker 1: and were not able to stay out late, otherwise we

745
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 1: would be locked out unless it was job related. I know, ridiculous,

746
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 1: but her house, her rules. My ex husband reassured me

747
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:23,840
Speaker 1: we would be able to figure it out and he

748
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 1: would be there to help as well, and he was

749
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: super excited to be a father. Oh cute, that's good. Yeah.

750
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 1: We spoke to his mother about the pregnancy and we

751
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 1: ended up staying at hers for over six months. During

752
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: that time, I had to quit my job I used

753
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 1: to work in a bar due to my morning sickness

754
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 1: being quite violent and debilitating. At the same time, my

755
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: ex husband was looking for a job but not able

756
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,280
Speaker 1: to find it, so we're literally surviving on the little

757
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: savings I had. His mother came forward and said we

758
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: had to contribute towards the bills in the house, while

759
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: at the same time kept insisting that we should get married,

760
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 1: as it was a sin to be in a relationship

761
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 1: without being married. Oh my goodness, she's asking for these

762
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:05,200
Speaker 1: possible from these people live here. It's just too much

763
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 1: going on. We also had a daily lecture on how

764
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 1: we should convert to Islam and have a Muslim arrangement

765
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 1: slash marriage. Things got progressively worse until we were kicked

766
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:17,400
Speaker 1: out when I was seven months pregnant. This drove a

767
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 1: wedge between us. We went to stay over with my

768
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 1: older brother, who was super accommodating, and things got better.

769
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 1: We were absolutely relieved. After my son was born, my

770
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: ex husband was able to get a job and we

771
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 1: got our own apartment. His mother tried several times to

772
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 1: insert herself into our lives, and we eventually allowed her

773
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 1: back into our lives since my son was her only

774
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 1: grandson and my ex husband was her only son too.

775
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,960
Speaker 1: As a new mother, I think I felt sorry for her.

776
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 1: I'm a little worried because I think if it was

777
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 1: already a problem where she was trying to convert you guys. Yeah,

778
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 1: I imagine she's gonna want to try and do that

779
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,240
Speaker 1: with your son, right.

780
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 3: She just is very controlling it.

781
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 1: My ex husband and I got married after our son

782
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,400
Speaker 1: was one year old, and we had an okay relationship

783
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 1: with my mother in law, but there were times when

784
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 1: she would cross lines. She would show up unannounts at

785
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 1: our house, tried to tell my son to call her mother,

786
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 1: even took my son to the mosque without my permission

787
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 1: when he was a bit older, and would often try

788
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 1: to take part in decisions in our family life. On

789
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 1: another hand, she did help us to buy things for

790
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:20,439
Speaker 1: the apartment and would offer to stay with my son

791
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 1: and look after him so I could have a break.

792
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,479
Speaker 1: Me and my ex husband did eventually put her foot down,

793
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 1: but some of the commentary would still happen from time

794
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 1: to time, which would make us clash. When my son

795
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,840
Speaker 1: turned four years old, we moved up north next to

796
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:35,799
Speaker 1: my family, and my mother in law stayed in the

797
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 1: city four hours away, and we saw her considerably less.

798
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:42,439
Speaker 1: What you need, Maybe we just need some space from her,

799
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 1: yeah on to have a better relationship. That usually does

800
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:48,440
Speaker 1: it for a most people. It's like, oh, I love

801
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 1: her so much now that I don't see her every

802
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 1: single day. But this is when my mother in law

803
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 1: would proceed to bombard me and my ex husband with

804
00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 1: text messages and phone calls to keep in contact with her.

805
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 1: I did tell my family about the issues with my

806
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 1: mother in law, but they didn't think it was that

807
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 1: serious until they got to spend more time with her

808
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,279
Speaker 1: whenever she would come up to visit us. She was

809
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,840
Speaker 1: not nice to have around. When my older brother got married,

810
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:16,760
Speaker 1: my mother in law was invited, but her offhand comments

811
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 1: towards my family about how they dressed, cooked eight, especially

812
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 1: the women, resulted in a huge argument with my mother

813
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:27,680
Speaker 1: in law and she was no longer welcome in my house. Wow,

814
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 1: she's just not getting along with anybody. No, not at all.

815
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: She's like, I know that you are married now and

816
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:37,440
Speaker 1: have your own place, but they're still still doing it wrong.

817
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:40,320
Speaker 3: My rules still down the line.

818
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, my relationship with my ex husband turned abusive. I

819
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:45,839
Speaker 1: was able to kick him out of the house, but

820
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:49,920
Speaker 1: was left emotionally, physically, and financially drained. It got so

821
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,959
Speaker 1: bad I almost tried to hurt myself. It was absolutely

822
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 1: one of the darkest chapters of my life. Luckily, my

823
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 1: family was there for me and I was able to

824
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:02,080
Speaker 1: get myself together, go back to university, get a better job,

825
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,959
Speaker 1: take care of my son, and create a better home

826
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 1: life environment. Good Gooday, So it's still still you know

827
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 1: someone Yeah, looking the futures looking positive right right? If

828
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:19,080
Speaker 1: not the present? Yes? But also my mother in law

829
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 1: was there for me too during that dark period. My

830
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,319
Speaker 1: ex husband was awful speaking to her even when we

831
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,399
Speaker 1: first got together. I know red flags. I always thought

832
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,879
Speaker 1: it was because how she behaved, but I later found

833
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 1: out it was just his abusive side. They eventually stopped

834
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,719
Speaker 1: contact and during that time she reached out to me

835
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 1: and we got close. Because my ex husband decided not

836
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 1: to take part of our in our son's life, she

837
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 1: stepped up and now helps us even financially around one

838
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,759
Speaker 1: hundred dollars a month, something that we spoke about previously

839
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 1: and discussed about what a turnaround for this mother. What

840
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,359
Speaker 1: she's like she was the villain of the story and

841
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 1: then she's like, yeah, that way, secret villain is the husband, right?

842
00:39:56,400 --> 00:40:00,280
Speaker 1: Maybe they just needed the common enemy to join the together.

843
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,879
Speaker 1: I was happy to receive the money as long as

844
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 1: it wasn't a burden for her. She also brings me

845
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 1: clothes for me and my son when she visits, buys

846
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,880
Speaker 1: groceries for her and the house, helped with my son's

847
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:15,200
Speaker 1: school uniform and shoes, bought me a used freezer, and

848
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 1: even contributed with address for my graduation. Wow. Whenever she

849
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 1: offers things, I always ask her if she's sure, but

850
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 1: she says that charity and helping family is part of

851
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 1: her religion and God will reward her. Will reward her anyways.

852
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:32,239
Speaker 1: Now my issue. I am grateful for everything she's done,

853
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,760
Speaker 1: even if we have a rocky relationship over the years.

854
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 1: But she falls back into the same old behavioral patterns

855
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 1: where she keeps talking about how great it is to

856
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,880
Speaker 1: be a Muslim and how I should convert. Sometimes she

857
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 1: sends ten messages a day about things she saw online,

858
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 1: either healthwise. She's against pork, white bread, white rice, and

859
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 1: so on, about being a Muslim, how to behave as

860
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 1: a woman, how she misses us, how she wants to

861
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 1: hear our voices and wants us to call hers off.

862
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 1: It is possible if I don't contact her for a while.

863
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 1: She messages NonStop. Why are we ignoring her? And says,

864
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 1: I have a weird way to show her love. Is

865
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:11,840
Speaker 1: this normal mother in law behavior? I don't think you

866
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,360
Speaker 1: have a normal relationship with your mother in law, right,

867
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,880
Speaker 1: I think that just like comes with the territory of

868
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,799
Speaker 1: divorcing your husband and then still having a relationship with

869
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:21,880
Speaker 1: your mother in law. Yeah, I think, yeah, I think

870
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 1: you're right. It's just like already not really normal. But

871
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:29,399
Speaker 1: this especially is not very normal either. She's even doing

872
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 1: the same thing to my son now, and he had

873
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,799
Speaker 1: quite enough and doesn't even like to pick up the

874
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 1: phone to his grandma. We are currently on holidays and

875
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 1: I have ghosted her for two weeks now trying to

876
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 1: figure out what to do. I did tell her I

877
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:42,399
Speaker 1: was going to be on holidays and would come back

878
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 1: to her, but it seems it's not enough. She's the

879
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,480
Speaker 1: only person in my life I have this issue with.

880
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 1: But because she helps so much, I wonder if I'm

881
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 1: overreacting on how much contact to have with her. But

882
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 1: you can have as much contact as you want with

883
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 1: us if you join us live every WEEKDA at three

884
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 1: PMPSD on YouTube. Just tap profile. But there is just

885
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,400
Speaker 1: a little bit left to the story. But what are

886
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,839
Speaker 1: your thoughts what do you do with this mother in law?

887
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:09,399
Speaker 1: I mean, it kind of feels like some people are

888
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 1: just kind of crazy. You know, it's just a little crazy.

889
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:13,839
Speaker 1: Some people are just a little crazy. It does kind

890
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 1: of stink that, like, you know, things are bad, they

891
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:19,080
Speaker 1: moved away, which made things better, then things got bad again,

892
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,359
Speaker 1: and then they're still moved away, and now it's still bad,

893
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:25,680
Speaker 1: Like it's still I would think that more distance would help,

894
00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:29,759
Speaker 1: but they already like don't live together. Exactly, but there's

895
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 1: a little bit left to the story. Who I'm thinking

896
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 1: of sending a message to my mother in law and

897
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: telling her that I appreciate everything she's done for us

898
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 1: and would like for her to be in our lives.

899
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:41,759
Speaker 1: But I won't contact her when she demands or guilt

900
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 1: trips me, but will when I can't, which is kind

901
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 1: of what is said. Yeah, exactly, I don't mind sending

902
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 1: messages to check on each other, but calling her when

903
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:53,319
Speaker 1: she wants and demands just doesn't work unless it's absolutely

904
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 1: necessary or for an emergency. Will I be the a

905
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 1: hole if I do that. I'm not very good with confrontation,

906
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,800
Speaker 1: and I am afraid that I want be so polite

907
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,879
Speaker 1: if I speak to her on the phone. So I'm

908
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:06,760
Speaker 1: wondering is the message a bit of an a whole move? However,

909
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: and that is the end of the story. I think

910
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:12,360
Speaker 1: that OP needs to send a text saying I like, yeah,

911
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 1: brief summary, but let's talk about this more in person.

912
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:16,760
Speaker 1: I agree.

913
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 2: I think a conversation a full conversation because things can

914
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 2: be misconstrued over text so so easily, especially with someone

915
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 2: that is already prone to guilt tripping.

916
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 1: Already prone to take getting over worked up and stuff.

917
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:33,279
Speaker 3: Right, So I think you're right.

918
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:36,359
Speaker 2: I think setting a brief text like that, saying that

919
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,920
Speaker 2: you want to talk would be the best move for surely.

920
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 1: Sure, but that is the end of that story.

921
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 2: My father got matching tattoos with his new family. Now

922
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 2: I want to cover up the one we got together.

923
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 1: How dare he?

924
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 2: My father forty one male and my mother forty female,

925
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,920
Speaker 2: divorced three years ago. I lived with my mother. My

926
00:43:57,040 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 2: father remarried a year ago. His new wife has two children,

927
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:03,479
Speaker 2: eighteen female and fifteen months. By the way, this comes

928
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 2: from U slash amazing mention ninety five zero two on

929
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So me eighteen female

930
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:14,439
Speaker 2: and my dad got a matching tattoo two years ago.

931
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 2: It was a simple outline tattoo of a photo of us.

932
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 2: After my dad got married, things started to get a

933
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 2: bit more distant between us because he started to spend

934
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 2: more time with his new family.

935
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:25,240
Speaker 1: Of course you did, of course.

936
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,279
Speaker 2: Besides that, I think he doesn't want to see me

937
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 2: around them. I don't know why, after all, I've never

938
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 2: treated his wife or step children bad. Yesterday, he refused

939
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 2: to meet on a weekend when we were supposed to

940
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:40,799
Speaker 2: spend time together, saying he was unavailable, and he reposted

941
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 2: a story of him hanging out with his new family.

942
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,919
Speaker 2: While looking at the photo, I saw that he got

943
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 2: a new tattoo on his arm. It was an outline

944
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 2: tattoo of a photo of him with his new family,

945
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:55,840
Speaker 2: just like the tattoo he got with me. That's so sad.

946
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 2: That is really sad, So sad. My gosh, the same

947
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 2: like styled. Yeah, come on, at least switch it up,

948
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 2: Come on, get creative.

949
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:04,439
Speaker 1: Now.

950
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 2: I know that millions of people have these tattoos and

951
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:09,759
Speaker 2: it's not my original design, but still I'm disappointed that

952
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,759
Speaker 2: he got a tattoo with his new family in the

953
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 2: same style. As ours, because I always thought that tattoo

954
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 2: was special between us.

955
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:19,319
Speaker 3: Now I'm thinking of getting a covered or removed.

956
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:21,239
Speaker 2: I called my dad in the evening and asked him

957
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 2: why he was hanging out with his family instead of

958
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 2: meeting me. He said they planned it earlier, which doesn't

959
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,880
Speaker 2: make sense because it was agreed in court after the

960
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,800
Speaker 2: divorce that I could spend time with my dad every weekend.

961
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,319
Speaker 2: So we planned it earlier is pretty bs excuse. He

962
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 2: also knows that I'm totally okay with spending time with

963
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 2: his family. When I told him that, he said, it's

964
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:42,759
Speaker 2: not that simple. I guess I'm too dumb to understand

965
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 2: complicated things because he doesn't even try it to explain it.

966
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,880
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, if it's not that simple, where's the word?

967
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 2: Just like let me know? Yeah, come on, come on,

968
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:54,920
Speaker 2: explain it. Then I asked him why he got his

969
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 2: new tattoo in the same style as ours. He said

970
00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:58,840
Speaker 2: he didn't think it would be a problem for me.

971
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 2: I told him, you broke something special between us. How

972
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:04,360
Speaker 2: can you not realize that I think I'm going to

973
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:07,760
Speaker 2: get my tattoo covered, you can do the same. In result,

974
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 2: he thinks I'm overreacting and I shouldn't be so selfish.

975
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:12,920
Speaker 2: My mom says what my dad did wasn't such a

976
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:15,439
Speaker 2: bad thing. She thinks we should sit down and talk,

977
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 2: but I'm not so sure. Am I the a hole?

978
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 3: Okay?

979
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:21,319
Speaker 2: Small edit before the updates. Tomorrow, I will try to

980
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 2: talk to my dad face to face. I hope to

981
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 2: discuss openly about whatever the issues are between us and

982
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:28,879
Speaker 2: find a way out. I don't think my mind will

983
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 2: change about that tattoo, but I will not rush to

984
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 2: get it covered.

985
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 3: Thank you for your advice.

986
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 2: If things go well, I will try to write an

987
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:36,200
Speaker 2: update and guess what she wrote?

988
00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:39,160
Speaker 1: Three updates so must have gone well.

989
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:41,799
Speaker 3: So update number one.

990
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 2: This morning, we had a breakfast together and a long talk.

991
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:47,440
Speaker 2: It turned out that the problem all this time was

992
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 2: my stepsister. He told me that she was struggling with

993
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 2: the whole marriage.

994
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:51,879
Speaker 1: The reason he.

995
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:53,840
Speaker 2: Got the tattoo was to show her that he loves

996
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:55,239
Speaker 2: her as much as he loves me.

997
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:56,440
Speaker 3: Okay.

998
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,840
Speaker 2: He also said that she didn't feel at ease around me,

999
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:04,760
Speaker 2: which I was really surprised about. We hadn't fought once,

1000
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 2: and we hadn't even been together long enough to have

1001
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:08,800
Speaker 2: any disagreements.

1002
00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:10,719
Speaker 3: That's why he didn't invite.

1003
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:10,919
Speaker 1: Me that day.

1004
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:13,960
Speaker 2: He wanted to be a good father figure in her life. Still,

1005
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:16,759
Speaker 2: he said that I might get closer to my stepsister

1006
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 2: in time, who knows when, But like.

1007
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 1: How is she supposed to do that if you're not

1008
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:23,279
Speaker 1: letting them hang out? Yeah, exactly, Like hopefully there was

1009
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: just like a one off day and it's just like

1010
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,440
Speaker 1: in the future they hang out just fine.

1011
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:30,200
Speaker 3: But who knows, let's find out.

1012
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,759
Speaker 2: He also said, I can get my tattoo covered if

1013
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 2: I want, but he would never do that to his.

1014
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:38,800
Speaker 2: For him, that tattoo still has the same special meaning. Honestly,

1015
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 2: it would make me feel like an a hole to

1016
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 2: get mine covered while he keeps his.

1017
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 1: So I'm not sure what to do. Lastly, the hardest

1018
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,760
Speaker 1: thing for me was finding out that they were moving

1019
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 1: to another state. WHOA Why is he not having any

1020
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 1: of these conversations with her? I don't know.

1021
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 2: They're just like left until this problem has been brought up,

1022
00:47:57,239 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 2: and now they're fighting everything out. His wife got a

1023
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:02,440
Speaker 2: better paying job and he's going to start a business

1024
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:04,359
Speaker 2: with a friend there. He told me that he will

1025
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:07,560
Speaker 2: be very busy with all the moving, but will spend

1026
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:10,320
Speaker 2: as much time with me as possible until he moves.

1027
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 2: He also promised to visit me often after the move,

1028
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 2: which I don't think he'll be able to keep up.

1029
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:17,359
Speaker 2: I guess he's really moving into a part of his

1030
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,439
Speaker 2: life where I'm not in it and there's not much

1031
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:20,239
Speaker 2: I can do about it.

1032
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:20,920
Speaker 1: Thank you all.

1033
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 3: And there's still two more updates off job.

1034
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 1: Okay, so maybe maybe maybe we hope he's wrong.

1035
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,560
Speaker 3: Maybe that's just sad.

1036
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 1: That is really sad, like if she was already worried

1037
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:34,480
Speaker 1: about being replaced and like and know he's moving behind

1038
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 1: that like this isn't helping.

1039
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 3: This isn't helping with those words at all.

1040
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:42,960
Speaker 1: So update number two Today, my stepbrother replied to my

1041
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:45,840
Speaker 1: story and we started talking. I told him about the

1042
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 1: latest things, and he told me a lot of things

1043
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:50,759
Speaker 1: I didn't know. He said that it's true his sister

1044
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 1: doesn't feel that he's around me, but she never said

1045
00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:55,480
Speaker 1: anything to my dad about not inviting me. In fact,

1046
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,080
Speaker 1: her discomfort isn't so great that she couldn't stand to

1047
00:48:58,120 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 1: be in the same place as me. It was my

1048
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 1: stepmother who asked him not to invite me that day, and.

1049
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:07,840
Speaker 3: She came up with the whole idea of that tattoo. Interesting.

1050
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:12,800
Speaker 1: Oh, here we have it the stepmother step mother. I

1051
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:14,200
Speaker 1: don't know. I feel like that's a cop out.

1052
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:16,879
Speaker 2: Though he said that his mom doesn't like my mom

1053
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 2: at all. He's not sure if this is based on

1054
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 2: something or not. When I asked my mom about it,

1055
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:25,160
Speaker 2: she said she never met that woman even once. I

1056
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:28,880
Speaker 2: think her dislike for me comes from her baseless hatred.

1057
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 3: For my mom, and my dad played along with her.

1058
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:33,880
Speaker 2: Also, I didn't mention here, but my dad told me

1059
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:36,319
Speaker 2: they are moving in November. My stepbrother told me they

1060
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 2: are moving next to a week and that was the plan.

1061
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 1: All.

1062
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 3: Oh, so the day's.

1063
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 1: Going again again. I want to know what the tea

1064
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,319
Speaker 1: was with the original divorce. Yeah, I want to see

1065
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:50,279
Speaker 1: if there was some sort of big problem, because it

1066
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 1: doesn't seem like that's a big issue here. Seems like

1067
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 1: it was resolved or maybe wasn't much of an issue

1068
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:58,880
Speaker 1: in the first place. But yeah, I haven't got a

1069
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:00,759
Speaker 1: feeling it.

1070
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 3: Is a factor.

1071
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:04,839
Speaker 1: I have a feeling it was because he lacked communications

1072
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 1: skills in Latin about this is something.

1073
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:09,840
Speaker 2: So maybe he told me he's sorry for what happened

1074
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:12,359
Speaker 2: to me and only told me these because he thought

1075
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,719
Speaker 2: I had to know the truth. He also asked me

1076
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 2: not to let his mom know about this conversation. My

1077
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 2: dad wasn't really like that.

1078
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: He was a good man. I mean, all those lies

1079
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 1: cutting me out of his life, that's not like him.

1080
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,279
Speaker 1: It's like, no, no, he's really a good man. But

1081
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 1: the ten instances wasn't a good man. It's not his

1082
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 1: it's not him. This is just so strange. I don't

1083
00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:37,839
Speaker 1: understand why he turned into such a person. But I

1084
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 1: really don't know. But I really don't want to talk

1085
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 1: to him once more to get it. He's moving away

1086
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:45,319
Speaker 1: next week. Anyway. I told my mom about this and

1087
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:47,320
Speaker 1: asked her to call my dad tell him that I

1088
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:49,880
Speaker 1: would never see him again. My mother passed this on

1089
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 1: him without mentioning the conversation. I also blocked my dad

1090
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:57,320
Speaker 1: from everywhere. Soon I will get the tattoo covered. Whoa,

1091
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:00,960
Speaker 1: And there still is a whole other update, other update.

1092
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:08,280
Speaker 1: It's a little update, but still that's dang is getting

1093
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,920
Speaker 1: it covered, yeah, which I like, I have like mixed

1094
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 1: feelings about because I mean, it's it is a sign

1095
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:18,239
Speaker 1: of like a special religi, like a bond that you

1096
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:21,279
Speaker 1: had with your dad. Right, and I don't think that's

1097
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 1: ever gonna go away. However, obviously he's being really awful

1098
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 1: and just like not considering you at all. But for

1099
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 1: our final update, I just logged into this account and

1100
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 1: see people were asking how I'm doing. I want to

1101
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 1: give you a little update, but it's not too cheerful.

1102
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:39,719
Speaker 1: My dad really moved away that September. Just before that,

1103
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:42,000
Speaker 1: he came to our house to talk, but I couldn't

1104
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 1: confront him still, I broke no contact.

1105
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:46,840
Speaker 3: We ended up talking on the phone many times.

1106
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:49,440
Speaker 2: He promised a lot that he would make things right

1107
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,840
Speaker 2: between us, he would come to visit me, and hadn't

1108
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:54,640
Speaker 2: kept any of it. Two weeks ago, I stopped talking

1109
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:57,520
Speaker 2: to him again. I've also been going to therapy since

1110
00:51:57,560 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 2: the new year. It's not only for my dad. I

1111
00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:02,400
Speaker 2: have a problems too. My therapist is really nice and

1112
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:04,759
Speaker 2: she helps me a lot. Apart from all this, my

1113
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:06,239
Speaker 2: life is actually pretty good.

1114
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:08,879
Speaker 3: I have my mom and friends who are there for me, and.

1115
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,240
Speaker 1: You know who else could be there for you? Us

1116
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 1: Every weekday at three pm you can join us live

1117
00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:17,400
Speaker 1: on YouTube. Just tap our profile. Tap it.

1118
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 2: Lastly, I kept the tattoo I couldn't make a final

1119
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 2: decision about what to do, and I think it will

1120
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:25,399
Speaker 2: stay like that for some time. I don't think i'll

1121
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 2: be posting another update later, so please take.

1122
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:30,000
Speaker 3: Care and has lots of hearts after that.

1123
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:33,840
Speaker 1: Oh, I think, honestly, I think both of those decisions

1124
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 1: are the correct ones. I think keeping the tattoo I agree.

1125
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:40,719
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, again like your dad now, but I

1126
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:45,040
Speaker 1: think it was it was reflecting your good relationship with

1127
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 1: your dad, that you m the past, right, so it's

1128
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 1: kind of like a memory. And I think the no

1129
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:51,279
Speaker 1: contact is a good thing because he needs if he

1130
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 1: actually wants to have a good relationship with you, then

1131
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:55,799
Speaker 1: he needs to work for it, and it doesn't sound

1132
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:58,760
Speaker 1: like he is. Yeah, I agree. I think with the tattoo,

1133
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 1: it's like that's something pretty permanent eye way, and I

1134
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:04,760
Speaker 1: feel like deciding to get it removed is very permanent.

1135
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:06,960
Speaker 1: It's already permanently on you. Some might as well just

1136
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 1: give it some time.

1137
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:10,120
Speaker 2: Didn't you think about it as much as you can

1138
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 2: before making that decision. But yeah, that's just sad about

1139
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:18,279
Speaker 2: it about the family because they're gone. I don't know

1140
00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 2: how far away they are, but obviously moving it to

1141
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:24,399
Speaker 2: another state is much more difficult to see each other.

1142
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:27,520
Speaker 2: So it's really sad. But I'm glad that she's in therapy. Yes,

1143
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:30,160
Speaker 2: she seems to be doing better in that regard.

1144
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 1: So so you can ask it for her. Good for her.

1145
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:34,879
Speaker 1: But that is the end of that story. Hey, it's

1146
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:36,640
Speaker 1: John here, og, host of the show. We're gonna get

1147
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:38,279
Speaker 1: back to these juicy stories. But here's a quick three

1148
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:41,680
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors. My sister called my

1149
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:46,920
Speaker 1: daughter a mistake, so I refuse to pay for her wedding. Dang,

1150
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:51,440
Speaker 1: that's a fair trade. Hi, guys, I created profile just

1151
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:53,680
Speaker 1: for this. Also, I think it's important to give a

1152
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:56,400
Speaker 1: trigger warning, as this has violence and death involved, and

1153
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:59,319
Speaker 1: I know from personal experience that can be triggering. By

1154
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:02,280
Speaker 1: the way, this from epic fail Whale on the Arslashoke

1155
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 1: storytime subreddit show. I female, thirty two Dianna. Am the

1156
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:09,680
Speaker 1: eldest of five siblings and I've taken on the role

1157
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 1: of family caretaker for as long as I can remember.

1158
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 1: I helped their parents until they're passing, and frankly, it's exhausting.

1159
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:19,799
Speaker 1: My dad passed away from brain cancer three years ago

1160
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:23,240
Speaker 1: and it was heartbreaking to watch him deteriorate. Over time,

1161
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 1: and Mom passed peacefully overnight after a long, hard battle

1162
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:31,640
Speaker 1: with cancer earlier this year. That's so sad. That's really

1163
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:34,960
Speaker 1: hard f cancer. So as the oldest I just sort

1164
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 1: of became the de facto parent. I don't mind, as

1165
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:39,399
Speaker 1: I love my siblings and it's kind of my thing

1166
00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:42,359
Speaker 1: to big sister, friends and family a lot. I'm sort

1167
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 1: of a ship's counselor, and I financially help out my family.

1168
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 1: I don't mind, as I work in tech, have a

1169
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:50,640
Speaker 1: side gig doing art, and inherited land and money from

1170
00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:52,880
Speaker 1: my mom and dad. All that to say, it's no

1171
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:56,240
Speaker 1: real loss. A few years ago I adopted my cousin's

1172
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 1: Charlie for m forty five child who I will just

1173
00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 1: use her nickname Decker. My baby loves kickboxing, after my

1174
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:06,880
Speaker 1: cousin went to prison for unliving the Decker's mother in

1175
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:11,439
Speaker 1: a substance fueled rage, Oh my god, which is too

1176
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:13,960
Speaker 1: long a story to add here. It was a chaotic

1177
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:17,240
Speaker 1: year of mourning, paperwork and court hearings, but the adoption

1178
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:21,160
Speaker 1: was finalized when the Decker was five. Why this is

1179
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:24,359
Speaker 1: the Decker now? She's a happy, healthy thirteen year old

1180
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 1: who calls me mom. She's in therapy and has been

1181
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:29,719
Speaker 1: since I could legally send her as she witnessed her

1182
00:55:29,719 --> 00:55:32,480
Speaker 1: mother's death, and I couldn't be prouder of how resilient

1183
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:35,520
Speaker 1: she is. She's my girl, my rock star, my whole heart,

1184
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:38,560
Speaker 1: and I call her that literally my heart. Fast forward

1185
00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 1: to my sister's Clara female thirty upcoming wedding. I was

1186
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:44,360
Speaker 1: thrilled for her at first. She asked me to be

1187
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:46,920
Speaker 1: made of honor. I cried and enjoy and offered for

1188
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,960
Speaker 1: my wife, honey, because we like the Incredibles lol, F

1189
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:52,719
Speaker 1: forty and I to pay for it. Don't worry, I

1190
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:55,799
Speaker 1: asked honey first. But during a bachelorette dinner I set up,

1191
00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:58,719
Speaker 1: she made a hurtful comment about my daughter, calling her

1192
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:01,759
Speaker 1: a mistake in saying I shouldn't have taken her in

1193
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 1: what and there is so much more to this story,

1194
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:08,120
Speaker 1: but what a shocking thing to say. Yeah. I stared

1195
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 1: at her and asked her what she meant, and she

1196
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,319
Speaker 1: said it wasn't like I was supposed to even have

1197
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 1: kids as I'm married to another woman. Then said no

1198
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:18,799
Speaker 1: hate or anything and laughed. But then she doubled down

1199
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:22,760
Speaker 1: that Decker is likely damaged and a handful guys. Decker

1200
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:25,760
Speaker 1: is the sweetest child alive. I mean, she's a teen,

1201
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:28,920
Speaker 1: so yeah. Sometimes she can get challenging or rebellious here

1202
00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:31,640
Speaker 1: or there. But when I say she is my whole heart,

1203
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 1: I mean it. She made us a family and made

1204
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:37,839
Speaker 1: our house a home. She smiles easily, cries openly, and

1205
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 1: has the emotional intelligence I wish I had myself. She

1206
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:44,319
Speaker 1: always asks how are you doing, and she really means it,

1207
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:47,880
Speaker 1: willing to listen to people. But she's a damaged mistake.

1208
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:50,759
Speaker 1: That's so sad, and that's so hurtful to hear as

1209
00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:53,319
Speaker 1: a thirteen year old. Yeah, I mean, I'm hoping that

1210
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 1: Decker didn't hear that. Hopefully. I felt like a character

1211
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:59,479
Speaker 1: in a dark, twisted episode of a sci fi show.

1212
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:02,520
Speaker 1: Defending my choice to adopt felt like fighting the borg,

1213
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:05,279
Speaker 1: like I just wouldn't assimilate. I didn't laugh it off

1214
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:07,799
Speaker 1: with my sister and her friends. I just stared at

1215
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:10,719
Speaker 1: her in pure disbelief. I think she knew I.

1216
00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:12,880
Speaker 3: Was hurt because she quickly.

1217
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:15,640
Speaker 1: Changed the subject. I said, I better get home, paid

1218
00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 1: for everything and three more rounds, and went home to

1219
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,720
Speaker 1: my family. My sister came over the next day, to

1220
00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:23,520
Speaker 1: yell at me for leaving and cutting them off after

1221
00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:26,040
Speaker 1: the three rounds I paid for. She said I owe

1222
00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 1: her a do over for ruining the whole weekend because

1223
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 1: I can't take a joke. Honey, who I of course

1224
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 1: told what happened, asked my sister to repeat exactly what

1225
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:37,400
Speaker 1: she said about our daughter. My sister refused and kept

1226
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:40,640
Speaker 1: calling Decker Charlie's child, and I just was holding back

1227
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:43,640
Speaker 1: so many tears. I told my sister that I wouldn't

1228
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:46,640
Speaker 1: be contributing a dime to her wedding expenses, that I

1229
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:49,440
Speaker 1: won't stop helping her pay her rent up until she

1230
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 1: moves in with her husband, but I won't be in

1231
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:54,040
Speaker 1: or pay for the wedding of a person who sees

1232
00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 1: my child as a mistake. Honestly, really considered a ope

1233
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:02,760
Speaker 1: or like just really nice of op to even pay

1234
00:58:02,880 --> 00:58:06,640
Speaker 1: for the rent. Yeah, like she just shouldn't have to

1235
00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:10,240
Speaker 1: pay for anything. After those comments, absolutely honestly, I was

1236
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,360
Speaker 1: ready to go full on Jedi and sever that connection,

1237
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:16,600
Speaker 1: but Honey helped me temper myself. My sister lost it

1238
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:20,280
Speaker 1: through the can of soda water we gave her at me, screamed,

1239
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:23,240
Speaker 1: how am I supposed to pay for this, and I said,

1240
00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:27,520
Speaker 1: you have ourbvery year you can save up. So left

1241
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:30,280
Speaker 1: shoving Honey out of the way in the process and

1242
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:33,480
Speaker 1: blew up our sibling group chat. My other siblings are split.

1243
00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:36,720
Speaker 1: Some think I'm overreacting with cutting off funds for the wedding,

1244
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 1: while others agree that my sister crossed a line and

1245
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:42,840
Speaker 1: needed the wake up call. Now I feel bad for

1246
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:45,920
Speaker 1: my sister. I do love her and she's distressed by this,

1247
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:48,200
Speaker 1: but I can't shake the feeling that standing up for

1248
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:50,640
Speaker 1: my daughter is more important. Am I the a hole

1249
00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:53,480
Speaker 1: for refusing to pay for her wedding? After that, I'm

1250
00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 1: adding this and edit option. I've been working on my

1251
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:59,200
Speaker 1: work project at a local brewery and have been silently

1252
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:03,120
Speaker 1: sobbing and read the comments. Also, Wow, so many comments.

1253
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:05,640
Speaker 1: I was trying to reply to everyone, but I honestly

1254
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 1: ran out of steam. I set this post to my

1255
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:10,480
Speaker 1: wife and also just bracing myself to talk to Decker tonight.

1256
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 1: We want to ask her if her aunt has done

1257
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 1: or said anything cruel to her or about her. I

1258
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:18,720
Speaker 1: am wishing hard that she's just confused by our questions

1259
00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:21,320
Speaker 1: and remains oblivious of this crap storm. Yeah, I really

1260
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:26,240
Speaker 1: hope that Opie's sister hasn't been rude to Decker's face. Yes, yes,

1261
00:59:26,360 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 1: like we hear out of it.

1262
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:29,920
Speaker 3: Please, even though this is all about her, she can't know.

1263
00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:34,000
Speaker 1: She can't. No, don't tell her. I love my heart.

1264
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:36,440
Speaker 1: I want her to always remain the bright, fun, loving,

1265
00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 1: encouraging person she is. I don't want her to know

1266
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,960
Speaker 1: anything about what her aunt has said. I texted my

1267
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:44,480
Speaker 1: sister if she meant this, if she really sees me,

1268
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:46,760
Speaker 1: my wife and our daughter that way, or was she

1269
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:50,600
Speaker 1: just and stoopid double down in embarrassment that said? I

1270
00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:54,440
Speaker 1: don't want her near Decker anytime soon. I feel so lost.

1271
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:56,800
Speaker 1: I wasn't planning on ever being a parent, and there

1272
00:59:56,880 --> 00:59:59,560
Speaker 1: is no effing manual for this. What the F do

1273
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 1: I even do? Wish me luck for tonight. I will

1274
01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:04,280
Speaker 1: need it because if Decker tells us her aunt has

1275
01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:06,320
Speaker 1: been cruel to her face, I will have to hold

1276
01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 1: my wife back from swinging on my sister. And there

1277
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 1: is an update. But what are your thoughts right now? So?

1278
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:15,440
Speaker 2: I think it's totally fine for Oping not to pay

1279
01:00:15,560 --> 01:00:16,200
Speaker 2: for that wedding.

1280
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:18,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, like why would you? It's a privilege.

1281
01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's that's an extremely nice thing to do

1282
01:00:21,560 --> 01:00:25,960
Speaker 1: for anyone. But you know someone who is insulting you

1283
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:29,760
Speaker 1: and your child like that, like, especially in this situation,

1284
01:00:29,880 --> 01:00:32,080
Speaker 1: it's that that person does not deserve to get a

1285
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:34,680
Speaker 1: free wedding, no at all. It's like, you have to

1286
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 1: be nice to the people who are giving you all

1287
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:39,160
Speaker 1: this money. Yes, and if you can't do that, then

1288
01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:41,080
Speaker 1: oh no you don't get that money.

1289
01:00:41,160 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, too bad, too bad, so sad.

1290
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:45,640
Speaker 1: But there is an update. Honey and I took Decker

1291
01:00:45,680 --> 01:00:49,160
Speaker 1: out to the local Octoberfest celebrations. She had a blast,

1292
01:00:49,440 --> 01:00:52,680
Speaker 1: did crafts, danced to music, had beer it was not

1293
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:55,600
Speaker 1: beer in a pinte glass, and generally had a great time.

1294
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:58,440
Speaker 1: On the ride home, my wife broached the long awaited topic.

1295
01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:01,160
Speaker 1: We asked her how she felt about was passing, then

1296
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 1: went into how everyone handles things differently. We asked if Mama,

1297
01:01:04,840 --> 01:01:08,280
Speaker 1: me or mommy honey ever was hurtful, and she named

1298
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:10,680
Speaker 1: a couple moments we've been snappy or wouldn't let her

1299
01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:13,200
Speaker 1: do things like a party at two am, but no,

1300
01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:16,360
Speaker 1: nothing else. We asked about Clara and she got quiet.

1301
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:18,840
Speaker 1: Honey just looked at me. But I was driving, so

1302
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:21,080
Speaker 1: I just said, you can tell us anything, goober, you

1303
01:01:21,200 --> 01:01:24,840
Speaker 1: know that, and she clammed up. I got my girls

1304
01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:27,439
Speaker 1: home and hugged my heart Decker and went to the dead.

1305
01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:30,160
Speaker 1: But two hours later, my wife came downstairs to me

1306
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:32,400
Speaker 1: and said Decker is in bed but not asleep, and

1307
01:01:32,440 --> 01:01:34,320
Speaker 1: I should talk to her. I asked why, and she

1308
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:37,280
Speaker 1: simply said that Decker is willing to talk about it.

1309
01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:39,760
Speaker 1: I went up. Decker was ready for bed in her

1310
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:42,360
Speaker 1: PGS reading. I just sat down on the side of

1311
01:01:42,360 --> 01:01:44,880
Speaker 1: the bed and asked her how she was. She just said,

1312
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,920
Speaker 1: Mom told you, huh. I told her I didn't know anything.

1313
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:50,840
Speaker 1: And Decker then said that Clara made her uncomfortable and

1314
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:54,440
Speaker 1: said hurtful things. When my wife and I weren't around,

1315
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:57,360
Speaker 1: Clara would call her the lost puppy or the stray

1316
01:01:57,680 --> 01:02:01,120
Speaker 1: and once Decker remembers her to have her to her face,

1317
01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:03,880
Speaker 1: you're not real family, and that once honey and I

1318
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:07,560
Speaker 1: get a real child, we will dump her. Oh my gosh.

1319
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:11,400
Speaker 1: Also crazy because to Ope, she said, you weren't even

1320
01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:14,000
Speaker 1: supposed to have a child because you're gay. Yeah, so

1321
01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:17,520
Speaker 1: like two conflicting messages cor minds on how you feel

1322
01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:18,240
Speaker 1: like the gays.

1323
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:21,320
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's crazy.

1324
01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:25,920
Speaker 1: I can't explain the rage, the absolute, total and complete

1325
01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:29,120
Speaker 1: red I saw as my daughter broke down, telling me

1326
01:02:29,200 --> 01:02:31,760
Speaker 1: that she behaves so well and is so obsessed with

1327
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:35,440
Speaker 1: grades so she can prove she's worth loving, worth keeping.

1328
01:02:35,560 --> 01:02:38,360
Speaker 1: After calling my wife, we sat her down and told

1329
01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:41,360
Speaker 1: her that she is the best thing that ever happened

1330
01:02:41,400 --> 01:02:43,880
Speaker 1: to us, and that even if we do have more children,

1331
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:46,920
Speaker 1: she's our first born and our love. I cried and

1332
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:49,360
Speaker 1: held her, telling her she was my whole heart and

1333
01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:52,440
Speaker 1: that nothing will ever change that she saved us, and

1334
01:02:52,520 --> 01:02:55,040
Speaker 1: I am so proud of her and us and of

1335
01:02:55,160 --> 01:02:58,320
Speaker 1: all we've grown to become. I can't ever stop loving her,

1336
01:02:58,480 --> 01:03:00,840
Speaker 1: neither ken her mom. We love her more than air.

1337
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:04,360
Speaker 1: That will never change. Then I explained that Annie was

1338
01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:07,040
Speaker 1: wrong for this. Annie is jealous of her, jealous of

1339
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:09,600
Speaker 1: how much we love her. Auntie needs help, but we

1340
01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:11,880
Speaker 1: can't give that help, so she won't be around for

1341
01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:14,400
Speaker 1: a while. Decker asked us to stop talking to her

1342
01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:17,240
Speaker 1: like a child. So I was blunt. She's my sister

1343
01:03:17,280 --> 01:03:19,240
Speaker 1: and I love her. You're my daughter and I love

1344
01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:22,160
Speaker 1: you more. There we go, There you go. I told

1345
01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:24,720
Speaker 1: her my sister was wrong and hateful. I'm sorry that

1346
01:03:24,760 --> 01:03:26,680
Speaker 1: she didn't feel she could come to her mam Mauriah.

1347
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 1: But you can every time, anytime. We will choose her always.

1348
01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:33,800
Speaker 1: Decker asked me if it's her fault. I hate Clara,

1349
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:35,840
Speaker 1: and I just told her hate is a choice and

1350
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:38,520
Speaker 1: I don't hate Clara. I do love her, But sometimes

1351
01:03:38,560 --> 01:03:43,400
Speaker 1: loving a person means you can correct them. Actions have consequences.

1352
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:46,080
Speaker 1: My daughter got quiet and handed me her phone, and

1353
01:03:46,160 --> 01:03:50,440
Speaker 1: Clara had been texting her awful things since she left

1354
01:03:50,480 --> 01:03:58,080
Speaker 1: my home. What stop bullying this child? Jail straight to

1355
01:03:58,160 --> 01:04:02,280
Speaker 1: the sun. Yeah, Lee, I can't even type them because

1356
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:04,720
Speaker 1: I wanted to throw things. But it's when I read

1357
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:07,960
Speaker 1: my effing's sister texting my teenage daughter, go tell your

1358
01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:10,880
Speaker 1: so called mom like a snitch and prove me right.

1359
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:13,640
Speaker 1: I took a screenshot and texted it to myself. Decker

1360
01:04:13,680 --> 01:04:15,920
Speaker 1: fell asleep around midnight, and my wife and I went

1361
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:18,600
Speaker 1: to bed. I texted my sister the screenshot and said,

1362
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:21,440
Speaker 1: you come into my home as my sister and treat

1363
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:24,400
Speaker 1: my child like this. No mom and dad would be

1364
01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:27,280
Speaker 1: ashamed of you. This is not how you treat any child,

1365
01:04:27,520 --> 01:04:30,000
Speaker 1: let alone your own niece. I have loved you since

1366
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:32,080
Speaker 1: as long as I can remember. I know you were

1367
01:04:32,080 --> 01:04:34,840
Speaker 1: not raised to treat children so terribly, but as of

1368
01:04:34,920 --> 01:04:38,040
Speaker 1: now you are not accepted my home. You will not

1369
01:04:38,280 --> 01:04:41,080
Speaker 1: speak to or contact my wife or my child. I

1370
01:04:41,120 --> 01:04:44,200
Speaker 1: will give you the money for October Clara, but November

1371
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:47,760
Speaker 1: on that's your responsibility. I am no longer going to help.

1372
01:04:47,840 --> 01:04:50,720
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. This breaks my heart, but you've crossed a

1373
01:04:50,840 --> 01:04:55,160
Speaker 1: serious and unforgivable line. But you wouldn't be crossing a

1374
01:04:55,160 --> 01:04:57,480
Speaker 1: line if you joined us live every Weekdad three pm

1375
01:04:57,520 --> 01:05:01,160
Speaker 1: past on YouTube. Just stop our profile and there is

1376
01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:04,120
Speaker 1: a tiny bit left to this story. But what are

1377
01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:08,840
Speaker 1: your thoughts? It's just so frustrating, so frustrating, because what's

1378
01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:11,800
Speaker 1: the deal. What's the deal? What's the deal? Why are

1379
01:05:11,840 --> 01:05:14,560
Speaker 1: you behaving like this? Don't bite the hand that pays

1380
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:18,480
Speaker 1: for your wedding exactly. It's what they say an old adage. Yeah,

1381
01:05:18,520 --> 01:05:21,200
Speaker 1: Decker is my daughter. I am her mom. Do not

1382
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:23,400
Speaker 1: doubt me here, And I want to be clear. If

1383
01:05:23,440 --> 01:05:27,280
Speaker 1: you ever come sideways at my family again, or contact

1384
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,920
Speaker 1: my daughter at all, I will take legal recourse. From

1385
01:05:29,920 --> 01:05:32,280
Speaker 1: today on, we are low contact. If you try to

1386
01:05:32,280 --> 01:05:35,680
Speaker 1: make this into a bigger issue, it will be no contact.

1387
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:39,080
Speaker 1: If you don't understand. Here are resources to help spell

1388
01:05:39,120 --> 01:05:42,880
Speaker 1: it out. I love you, d what a text message.

1389
01:05:42,960 --> 01:05:47,600
Speaker 1: Excellent job, excellent job, good job. Oh Pete, that's just

1390
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:51,640
Speaker 1: good for her for standing up. Yeah, daughter, for her family.

1391
01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:52,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1392
01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:53,400
Speaker 1: But that is the end of that story.