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Speaker 1: This is a headgum podcast.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna do an ass backworths thing right now. First,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna ask you where you're from.

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Speaker 1: Ty, I'm from Oregon, Southern Oregon.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, so not woodsy, but something about your background

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Speaker 2: suggests you could be.

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Speaker 1: I should be. I probably should be woodsy.

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Speaker 3: But I'm not not a woodsy guy.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna do my intro, and then I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: go back.

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Speaker 3: To Oregon supposedly.

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Speaker 2: Maybe remember my brain goes one hundred miles per hour,

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Speaker 2: so maybe.

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Speaker 1: I won't by myself.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, Hi, guys, I may go, and welcome to

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Speaker 2: Thanks Dad. I was raised by a single mom and

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Speaker 2: don't have a relationship with my dad. I'm not gonna

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Speaker 2: have a relationship with my dad because he's actually, guys,

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Speaker 2: he's dead.

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Speaker 3: He died, he died.

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Speaker 2: It's not gonna happen unless it happens in the next life.

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Speaker 2: But I kind of feel like this would have been

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Speaker 2: the more interesting life in which to have a relationship.

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Speaker 3: With my dad.

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Speaker 2: There's so many more interesting people to meet in the afterlife.

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Speaker 2: No shade to dad, but you know, like there's I

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Speaker 2: can list people that are dead that I'm like, I

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Speaker 2: really want to get in their heads anyway. On this podcast,

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Speaker 2: I'm sitting down with father figures who are old enough

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Speaker 2: to be my dad? Hi, no offense? Oh No, I

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Speaker 2: mean or are just dads themselves. You don't know how

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Speaker 2: old I am, partially because Hollywood and partially because I'm black,

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Speaker 2: and so you don't know how old I could be

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Speaker 2: any eight I could be your daughter.

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Speaker 4: Well, you do know how old I am, partially because

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Speaker 4: of my lack of zoom filter and partially because I'm white.

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Speaker 3: So that's correct, That's actually right.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna get to ask questions I've always wanted to

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Speaker 2: ask a dad, like how do I know if the

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Speaker 2: guy I'm dating is right for me? Or what do

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Speaker 2: I look out for when I'm buying a car? Live

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Speaker 2: in your I don't have a car, or can you

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Speaker 2: help me change the oil in said car? You're not outdoorsy, tie,

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Speaker 2: but are you handy?

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Speaker 1: Well? I am.

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Speaker 4: I have become a little bit more outdoor outdoorsy. I'm

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Speaker 4: not inherently outdoorsy and handy. No, not really?

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right, okay, and what are your strengths?

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Speaker 4: I want to retroactively say that I definitely am someone

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Speaker 4: who is vulnerable to reading comments, but I try very

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Speaker 4: hard not to.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to qualify that statement.

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, So it sound.

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Speaker 4: Like I'm impervious to comments, sure, sure, but I try

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Speaker 4: very hard knock here.

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Speaker 2: I also feel like, as a public facing figure, it

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Speaker 2: is smart to just be like, Nope, I don't read them, no,

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Speaker 2: or just like to say it though, say it out

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Speaker 2: loud platforms. You don't want people thinking. I had one

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Speaker 2: guest say he reads comments, he said on a panel

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Speaker 2: in the public, and I was like, that's spookier to

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Speaker 2: me because you've not that you see them. And now

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Speaker 2: what does that make you vulnerable to? And what will

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Speaker 2: that expose you to? Because people now know you do,

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Speaker 2: do you like.

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Speaker 1: They're actually corresponding with you in some way? Right?

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Speaker 3: And I go, it's better if people think you don't

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Speaker 3: read them.

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Speaker 1: Anyway.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to do your intro now. Ty.

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Speaker 2: Today's guest played the lovable Phil Dumpy on Modern Family

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Speaker 2: for eleven seasons and is a dad himself, not just

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Speaker 2: to me, but to actual other children. Please welcome my

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Speaker 2: dad for the day.

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Speaker 3: Ty Burrow. Go Hi, Hi, I'm so happy you're here.

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy to be here. I'm such a fan,

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Speaker 1: really truly, such one.

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Speaker 2: A my You're relarkably kind. Likewise, thank you for saying yes.

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Speaker 2: You know I'm gonna be honest. I heard yes, and

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Speaker 2: then I also heard no, and I guess the truth

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Speaker 2: was yes, because here you are.

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Speaker 3: I also heard no.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, I heard I heard hard no, and I

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Speaker 1: go tie no, no no. It was a hard yes

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Speaker 1: from the beginning. I don't know. I don't know where

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Speaker 1: the no came from.

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Speaker 2: And I didn't say that too in any way, shape

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Speaker 2: or form. Embarrassed you.

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Speaker 3: I'm just like Ty, but me and Ty by the

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Speaker 3: way back.

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Speaker 4: Hard Yes is a great name for like a like

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Speaker 4: a self help book.

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Speaker 1: Right, would you be open?

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Speaker 2: Here's a question I'll ask you on the record. Would

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Speaker 2: you be open to doing a podcast with me titled

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Speaker 2: hard Yes?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, hard yes, hard Yes.

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Speaker 2: That was the right answer. That was the right answer.

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Speaker 2: I'm so glad you're here. I can't wait to talk

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Speaker 2: all things dad and then some with you same saying

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Speaker 2: you have a dad presumably right, No, we.

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Speaker 1: Have uncommon I mean I did have a dad, okay,

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Speaker 1: but my dad died young. Okay, so we are we

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Speaker 1: are both in the camp of deceased fathers.

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Speaker 3: Deceased fathers. Yes, were your parents married?

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Speaker 1: They were?

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Speaker 3: They were married.

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Speaker 4: So I knew my dad until I was twenty, so

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Speaker 4: I had I had twenty, you know, twenty twenty years

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Speaker 4: with a great, great dad. He was a really wonderful.

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Speaker 1: Dad, great years.

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Speaker 3: I love to hear that.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I.

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Speaker 4: Know you're I don't know a ton about your circumstances,

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Speaker 4: but I know that you didn't know your dad or

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Speaker 4: haven't known your dad.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I didn't know him.

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Speaker 2: I feel like saying I didn't know him is accurate

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Speaker 2: to an extent in that I'm like, no, I don't

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Speaker 2: know what food you like and what music you like

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Speaker 2: and really how tall you?

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Speaker 3: I don't know. But I know who he was.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't this like sort of mystery, like I have

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Speaker 2: to try to track him down. I knew who he was,

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Speaker 2: where he was. He was remarried, had a new family.

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Speaker 2: Some of my friends in college are their dad's children

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Speaker 2: from the family they decided to actually like step up

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Speaker 2: for if that makes sense, and hopefully that's the right

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Speaker 2: way to say that.

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Speaker 3: But I was in the first family.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I was first family child sun. Yeah, I was

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Speaker 2: first run at it and then and then we really

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Speaker 2: do get it right, but I don't. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if we got it right on the second family or

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Speaker 2: the next one, but right right. But I didn't know him.

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Speaker 2: I just we didn't have a relationship. The best way

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Speaker 2: to put it. Twenty years with your dad. You called

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Speaker 2: him a great dad. What made him such a great

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Speaker 2: dad in your opinion?

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Speaker 4: He was a very good listener, okay, really good listener,

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Speaker 4: A very curious guy.

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Speaker 1: He was a very gentle guy.

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Speaker 4: He was a very funny guy, really valued silliness, Like

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Speaker 4: our home was very silly place. And I don't think

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Speaker 4: he ever knew what was happening at school, Like he.

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Speaker 1: Never really cared about my homework before. I mean, it

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Speaker 1: has its down it has its downsides.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you know he would get he would get

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Speaker 4: my shitty grades and be like, what is going on

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Speaker 4: and not notice that I hadn't done any homework and.

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Speaker 2: Okay for weeks and months okay, okay.

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Speaker 1: So but yeah he was he was. He was an artist.

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Speaker 3: Okay, here it is a guy who was.

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Speaker 1: He was.

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Speaker 4: He worked in the fosph care system professionally and was

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Speaker 4: a family therapist.

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Speaker 1: But at heart he was an artist.

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Speaker 4: He actually had a scholarship to UCLA and the Fine

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Speaker 4: Arts and was an aspiring New Yorker cartoonist and oh cool,

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Speaker 4: all that kind of stuff. But that stuff didn't really

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Speaker 4: pan out for him, so he worked in the phosphere

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Speaker 4: car system. But in his heart he was a person

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Speaker 4: who was an artist. And he's the person I first

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Speaker 4: really like started doing bits with, even though he never

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Speaker 4: he never saw me perform. I didn't perform until after

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Speaker 4: he had passed, Okay, but the foundation of like just being.

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Speaker 1: An idiot doing bits all day as you know.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I know that well, I know that life very well.

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Speaker 1: That that was him. You know, he was a guy

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Speaker 1: who loved to do bits, just loved it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Did he share with you his dreams and passions in

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Speaker 2: terms of art from a young age or did you

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Speaker 2: learn about that closer to when you were twenty?

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Speaker 3: How did you to find out about that?

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Speaker 1: A little bit?

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Speaker 4: But I actually think it was part of the pain

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Speaker 4: of his life. So some of the some of the

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Speaker 4: challenges that he had in his life were based in

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Speaker 4: the fact that that life didn't pan out. And I

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Speaker 4: think on some level it definitely is a big part

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Speaker 4: of What motivated me after he passed, sure was seeing

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Speaker 4: him I think lament in some ways that he maybe

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Speaker 4: hadn't stuck his.

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Speaker 1: Neck out in a way that he kind of wished

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Speaker 1: that he had.

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Speaker 4: That scholarship I mentioned was a full ride to UCLA

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Speaker 4: in the fine arts, which was really something you know,

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Speaker 4: to like back in the early sixties fifties even that

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Speaker 4: would be offered a full ride in the fine arts,

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Speaker 4: and he passed on that.

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Speaker 1: He didn't take that scholarship.

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Speaker 2: I was going to ask you, I was going to say,

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Speaker 2: you mentioned the scholarship, but you didn't say he went.

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Speaker 3: Do you know why he passed on it.

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Speaker 4: The legend is, and I never really got clarity before

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Speaker 4: he passed, was that his his dad needed help on

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Speaker 4: the dairy farm in Oregon.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 4: But I suspect, all due respect to my dad, that

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Speaker 4: in fact he passed because he was a little bit

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Speaker 4: afraid of that as a career.

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Speaker 1: And you know that he shared in the passing.

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Speaker 4: It wasn't just his dad, but I think in some

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Speaker 4: level he was a little bit nervous about doing that

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Speaker 4: because I think in the end.

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Speaker 1: There was some regret there. That's my that's my that's

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Speaker 1: my take.

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Speaker 2: On it right from what you understood, did it seem

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Speaker 2: like his dad was a supportive type or would have

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Speaker 2: supported a career in the arts for him.

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Speaker 4: I think he was sort of a classic fifties dad

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Speaker 4: in terms of being raised in.

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Speaker 1: The fifties, you know where it was. He was just

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Speaker 1: sort of like a pretty stoic guy. I don't think

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Speaker 1: he would have been unsupportive, but I don't think it.

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Speaker 4: I think it probably was not one of those things

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Speaker 4: where I like, my dad actually is the one who

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Speaker 4: planted the seed, said you should be an actor, like,

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Speaker 4: you know, like before he passed.

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Speaker 1: Okay, and I had never done it?

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Speaker 3: You like that point you.

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Speaker 2: Were twenty okay, nineteen okay, and he says to you, hey,

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Speaker 2: you should do it? Was it just based on watching

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Speaker 2: you do bits in your bad grades?

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Speaker 1: Okay? It was like what I can put two and

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Speaker 1: two together?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, two point one gpa yeah.

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Speaker 1: And a bunch of dumb bits at least.

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Speaker 2: Two bits and now we've got four you should go

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Speaker 2: do yeah? Okay. Man, When he said that, what was

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Speaker 2: your reaction to it?

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Speaker 4: Was like somebody saying, like you should you should have

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Speaker 4: another arm, you know what I mean? I was like,

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Speaker 4: what like we lived out in the woods in Oregon,

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Speaker 4: like I didn't, and we had nobody in our family

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Speaker 4: who was a performer in any way. So yeah, it

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Speaker 4: came out of left field, but I took it to

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Speaker 4: heart clearly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really special. When he passed, was it a

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Speaker 2: matter of illness?

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Speaker 4: Yeah at that point, Okay, he had pancreatic cancer.

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Speaker 1: So we oh, no, it's all right.

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Speaker 4: We had we had nine months of he was a

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Speaker 4: family therapist, so he brought in a family therapist to

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Speaker 4: work with us.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 1: So we had nine months of like a very intense.

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Speaker 4: Some of it, uh you know, like you know, doubling

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Speaker 4: down on what was already an intense situation where like

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Speaker 4: he wanted to hash out everything.

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Speaker 2: Do you wait, in retrospect, do you find that that

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Speaker 2: was helpful though? To be like it was, okay.

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Speaker 4: It was there was, I mean, there was some of

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Speaker 4: it that was sort of like, oh, I mean it

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Speaker 4: was helpful, It was sort of some of it was like, well,

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Speaker 4: I'm already.

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Speaker 1: Trying to be in denial about you being can you

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Speaker 1: please just let.

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Speaker 3: Me let me come on? Elizabeth Koobler Ross would approve

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Speaker 3: of me, didn't I.

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Speaker 1: Don't want to get to bargaining yet I don't. I'm

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Speaker 1: not ready for bargaining.

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Speaker 3: Wait, come on.

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Speaker 1: But uh no, it was good. It was good. It

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Speaker 1: was good. I mean it was a good thing.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, we had nine months of kind of like

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Speaker 4: going through all of that, and it resulted in some

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Speaker 4: of the stuff of like, you know, I think you

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Speaker 4: should be a performer, and you know, some other things

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Speaker 4: with our family that were really positive.

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Speaker 2: And in the context of the family therapy that was

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Speaker 2: going on as you guys were processing his terminal illness,

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Speaker 2: this whole I think you should be a performer conversation.

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Speaker 2: Was that something you had asked him, like, well, what

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Speaker 2: do you think of my future? Where he was like,

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Speaker 2: I feel it's really important for me to impart this

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Speaker 2: to you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I hosted a talent show for my high school. Okay,

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Speaker 4: and this was this was before that. But then then

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Speaker 4: when he was ill, he was like he was thinking

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Speaker 4: back on that and he was like, I think you

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Speaker 4: should try this, yeah, which was really wild. I was like, well,

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Speaker 4: I don't even know what does that mean?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, where do I do this? So I just go

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Speaker 1: out in the yard or.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you're we're in Oregon.

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Speaker 1: What are we talking about? It?

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Speaker 3: Should go be an actor? Do you have tips pointers?

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Speaker 4: Not not to divert conversation, but is that something that like,

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Speaker 4: did you grow up doing that?

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Speaker 2: Like I loved performing when I was younger. I feel

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Speaker 2: like I was like family entertainment. This is like my

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Speaker 2: recollection of it. I'd be fascinated to hear what my

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Speaker 2: family felt about my antics. But I felt like I

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Speaker 2: really got high on making the adults laugh and being

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Speaker 2: silly and mimicking them and such. But my aunt when

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Speaker 2: I was younger, I think I was probably seven or eight.

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Speaker 2: She's the one that put me in ballet and I

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Speaker 2: was ballerina for ten years. But she said to me,

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Speaker 2: you should go be a model or something, which her

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Speaker 2: sister is like, everyone's going to go be a doctor.

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Speaker 2: Because the very first generation experience I was having in that.

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Speaker 4: I remember you talking about the very first time we met,

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Speaker 4: the very first time we met. I remember you talking

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Speaker 4: about this that the doctor thing was like a very yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: And I understand it wasn't even a matter of being

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Speaker 2: closed minded, perhaps, but more so a matter of like

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Speaker 2: your parents immigrates to this country and they're like for

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Speaker 2: opportunity and the sake of stability and financial security and

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Speaker 2: to an extent, like my mom and all the other

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Speaker 2: Nigerian parents and other immigrant parents who say, go be

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Speaker 2: a doctor, they're kind of right, like you're always gonna

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Speaker 2: need doctors, and that's a secure profession and it's respectable.

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Speaker 2: You get to bring to your friends my daughter, my

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Speaker 2: son's a doctor. So I understand that perspective. And so

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Speaker 2: following a passion wasn't really that wasn't a thing, or

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Speaker 2: like pursuing happiness. I'm like, there wasn't really a thing.

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Speaker 2: It was like, you grow up, you have responsibilities. What

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Speaker 2: is the career path that is going to put you

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Speaker 2: in the best position to handle your responsibilities and all

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Speaker 2: that is likely going to come your way? And I'm like,

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Speaker 2: doctor is one. And so I find it fascinating though,

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Speaker 2: even having these conversations with all these incredible parents, I'm

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Speaker 2: hearing from people about their dads.

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Speaker 3: It was sort of like my dad might have had.

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Speaker 2: A goal or a dream, but he felt his duty

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Speaker 2: first and foremost was to take care of his face

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Speaker 2: family and provide for them. So his goal, his passion,

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Speaker 2: his dream took the back seat and fell.

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Speaker 3: By the wayside.

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Speaker 2: Because why do I say that with a British wayside side,

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Speaker 2: but by the wayside, because it was like, I have

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Speaker 2: to take care of my family, and it's cute to

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Speaker 2: have dreams, and it's cute to hope to be a

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Speaker 2: creative or whatever other path that they may not have taken,

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Speaker 2: but this is my priority and I'm hearing that shared experience.

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Speaker 2: And these are not immigrants in the sense in the

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Speaker 2: way that we think of immigrants.

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Speaker 4: Right were you Were you actively dissuaded from it? Like

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Speaker 4: were they sort of like no, no, no, no, don't

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Speaker 4: don't don't do it.

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Speaker 2: No, you know, I do an exaggerated like impression of

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Speaker 2: my mom, but she was actually quite supportive, Like I

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Speaker 2: really couldn't do what I do for work today if

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Speaker 2: I didn't have the support of my family.

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Speaker 3: I don't really know.

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Speaker 2: I commend anyone who's able to despite like your family

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Speaker 2: trying to dissuade you, is able to then pursue this

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Speaker 2: work and become successful in it because it took They

351
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Speaker 2: say it takes a village, and I'm like, it did

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Speaker 2: take a village. Everyone was so helpful and supportive, and

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Speaker 2: I think if I was combating family being like what

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Speaker 2: a silly idea, This is crazy regularly. I don't think

355
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Speaker 2: I would have been able to because you've say so

356
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Speaker 2: much rejection already, right, you know what you need at

357
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Speaker 2: least people be like, well that's great, even if they're

358
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Speaker 2: quietly like we're worried, but they're keeping it to themselves.

359
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Speaker 3: I'm like, I, yeah, it was help.

360
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Speaker 4: I would love to be the person who is just

361
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Speaker 4: sort of like six season in spite of opposition, But like,

362
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Speaker 4: I am so not that person even on set, Like

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Speaker 4: if I feel like the director or.

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Speaker 1: Whomever is not liking what I'm doing, I'm I mean.

365
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Speaker 3: Well over it's okay, okay, well it's done for me.

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Speaker 3: I didn't get there the validation I need.

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Speaker 2: Do you think part of you is pursued comedy because

368
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Speaker 2: we get in terms of live performance when and a

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Speaker 2: lot of us came up in live theater, get that

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Speaker 2: sort of instant affirmation in the laughter.

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Speaker 3: Do you think that's a thing for you.

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Speaker 5: Kind of nice?

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Speaker 1: I mean, you're living it, you're living it.

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Speaker 4: I I just recently shot up a multiicam that and

375
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Speaker 4: I haven't done that in since like two thousand and nine,

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00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:20,520
Speaker 4: you know, live audience comedy, but it really did.

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Speaker 1: It was I had that kind of epiphany.

378
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Speaker 4: It's been so long, really, but I was like, oh, yeah,

379
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Speaker 4: this is it, this is this is why, this.

380
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Speaker 1: Is why it started.

381
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Speaker 4: It's when it's not working it's the worst. But yeah,

382
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,399
Speaker 4: but when it's working, it's just a love bath. I

383
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,919
Speaker 4: just you know, you just show like, oh, this is it.

384
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Speaker 2: Truly feels so good. I'm alive, this is what I

385
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Speaker 2: was here to do. The fact that I get to

386
00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:47,520
Speaker 2: do it you feel so good. And then when it's

387
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:52,200
Speaker 2: so bad, it's remarkably demoralizing it. You're unbelievable, high risk,

388
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,919
Speaker 2: ky reward kind of unbelievable.

389
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Speaker 4: I mean, you're living that to the anth degree, to

390
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Speaker 4: the anth degree.

391
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Speaker 2: It is pretty wild because now instead of doing shows

392
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Speaker 2: at UCB Theater and my comedy community where it's like

393
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 2: sort of the safe cocoon, where it's like all these

394
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,720
Speaker 2: people have seen me have excellent shows already and they

395
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 2: know me and they're rooting for me. Yeah, and they

396
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,680
Speaker 2: might see me on a Wednesday do a terrible thing.

397
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Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's it's just one little thing.

398
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's like it's we know each other, we're a family.

399
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,160
Speaker 2: Whereas with SNL, the world gets to see this and

400
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,200
Speaker 2: they might just be tuning in for the first time

401
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,080
Speaker 2: today and I could go, who the fuck is that girl?

402
00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:29,720
Speaker 4: She's But do you feel but do you feel after

403
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,359
Speaker 4: being on for a few seasons, do you feel like

404
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,720
Speaker 4: you're getting some of the same benefit of the doubt

405
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:39,720
Speaker 4: of like people having seen you be really, really hilarious

406
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,520
Speaker 4: for a long stretch.

407
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Speaker 3: Thanks Ty?

408
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,440
Speaker 2: I think yes. I think the audience has to get

409
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,399
Speaker 2: to know you. And that's one thing I learned about

410
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:52,159
Speaker 2: live performance and namely just doing comedy. The benefit of

411
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,720
Speaker 2: the doubt thing is really I remember when I was

412
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,720
Speaker 2: coming up at U Seeb and I was like, that

413
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,480
Speaker 2: guy or that girl on stage can just say yellow

414
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:04,119
Speaker 2: and everyone's dying laughing, and I'm like, was yellow funny?

415
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,639
Speaker 3: Or do we love you? And listen?

416
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Speaker 2: It is amazing to be on the receiving end of

417
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,639
Speaker 2: that kind of energy and belief from the audience. I

418
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,639
Speaker 2: would not turn it away, but it just takes some

419
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,399
Speaker 2: time to build that trust with an audience.

420
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Speaker 1: Are you feeling some of that now? Yes?

421
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,719
Speaker 3: I do. I do feel some of that.

422
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:24,119
Speaker 2: But the part of me that really wants to succeed

423
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,840
Speaker 2: and wants to achieve and has really high standards for myself,

424
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,199
Speaker 2: I get a lot of feedback from people who know me,

425
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 2: and even internally at S and L there, like you're

426
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:36,239
Speaker 2: so hard on yourself, You're so your standard is just

427
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,640
Speaker 2: too high for yourself. I don't know any other way

428
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,400
Speaker 2: to be, though ty. Who knows where'd I get it from?

429
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:43,359
Speaker 2: You know, I don't know.

430
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Speaker 4: I mean, it may it might have been. It sounds

431
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,360
Speaker 4: like you have a very achieving family.

432
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,320
Speaker 2: Yes, you know, but it's so interesting my mom when

433
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:53,439
Speaker 2: you're talking about your dad didn't care about like you

434
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 2: doing homework my mom. This is when I try to

435
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:57,720
Speaker 2: paint the picture of exactly who she is.

436
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 3: I struggle.

437
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:00,800
Speaker 2: My mom would be like, I think it is so

438
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,960
Speaker 2: wrong that you guys have to go to school for

439
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,199
Speaker 2: eight hours a day and then come home and do homework.

440
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 1: That is so wrong, which I agree, by the way,

441
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,280
Speaker 1: But yeah, she.

442
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 2: Was like I remember that being her soapbox. She's like,

443
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 2: that's crazy. And then she'd be like, you know, she

444
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 2: never cared about grades, she never I was a latch

445
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,600
Speaker 2: key kid. It was pretty amazing. And then you have

446
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 2: these like high achieving kids. I'm like, she wasn't that strict,

447
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 2: pretty chill mom, And it turns out it's helpful. I

448
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,920
Speaker 2: guess to not have overly strict parents. Your dad seemingly

449
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 2: was not strict. It sounds like no, okay.

450
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,160
Speaker 1: He really was.

451
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,120
Speaker 3: Was he a disciplinarian at all in any way?

452
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 5: Yeah?

453
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, I think there were definitely rules, but it

454
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:46,120
Speaker 4: had more to do with like, you know, it had

455
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,439
Speaker 4: more to do with like me as a person, like

456
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:54,679
Speaker 4: me being kind or not. You know, he lost his

457
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:57,359
Speaker 4: shit a couple of times in my life, but it

458
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,680
Speaker 4: usually had to do with me being a dick to my.

459
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 3: Other So how many siblings do you have, Tai?

460
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 1: I have three?

461
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:18,400
Speaker 3: Three.

462
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 1: I have two older siblings, a brother and a sister,

463
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:22,640
Speaker 1: and then I have a younger brother.

464
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,919
Speaker 2: Okay, so middle child, did you feel ignored growing up

465
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:26,400
Speaker 2: in any way?

466
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:27,160
Speaker 5: Oh?

467
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,639
Speaker 1: No, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't.

468
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 4: I didn't fit that trope. I got plenty of plenty

469
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 4: of attention. Possibly too much. Possible, there's a possibility that

470
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:38,719
Speaker 4: they may have overdone it.

471
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:42,280
Speaker 3: Okay, maybe gave you a little, but look at you now.

472
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:46,040
Speaker 4: Created a lot of expectations are coming by dope, the

473
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 4: dopamine in black cortex.

474
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 2: Everyone's gonna love me, Everyone's gonna see me, They're going

475
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 2: to enjoy me.

476
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,440
Speaker 3: My mom tells me this story.

477
00:21:56,480 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 2: Though I got on a plane to Nigeria when I

478
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 2: was like four with her. The last time I went

479
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 2: to Nigeria, I was nineteen, which I have to get back,

480
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,879
Speaker 2: but I want to go with friends instead of my

481
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 2: mom because I don't want to do.

482
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 3: My mom's thing. I don't have my own. But I

483
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 3: haven't been since I was nineteen.

484
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,239
Speaker 2: But when I was four and I was going with

485
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 2: my mom, I guess she kept telling me like everyone's

486
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,040
Speaker 2: expecting us. They can't wait, you know, they can't wait

487
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,880
Speaker 2: for us to get to Nigeria and they're all they

488
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 2: all can't wait to meet you. And I was so excited.

489
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 2: I remember, she tells me. I got on the plane

490
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,919
Speaker 2: and I go, you said, everyone was excited to see me.

491
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,920
Speaker 2: Why aren't they hugging me on the plane And she's

492
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 2: like these are not them? And whoever was in the

493
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 2: vicinity laughed at that. But that's when the drugs started from.

494
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:39,280
Speaker 2: But truly I did it.

495
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:40,400
Speaker 3: I was like I did it.

496
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 2: I was like, you said, they're excited, no one's even

497
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,400
Speaker 2: acknowledging me, and she's like, well these people.

498
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,159
Speaker 1: Don't, You're like, hug me, hug me, hug me.

499
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:52,399
Speaker 3: Strange strangers, hug me, show me. Come on here. I

500
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:53,439
Speaker 3: heard you were waiting for me.

501
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 4: Come on, I got I got a lot of seats

502
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,640
Speaker 4: to go before I sit down.

503
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 2: I know no one, no one's saying anything. You're just

504
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 2: worried about your bed. Come on, but listen. I think

505
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,720
Speaker 2: all actors maybe have a little bit of that in them.

506
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 2: Of all the times your dad lost his shit with you,

507
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 2: which I was going to ask about, yeah, yeah, what

508
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 2: is one that sticks out to you the most? You

509
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:14,919
Speaker 2: said it was times when you're being a dick to

510
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,240
Speaker 2: your brother. Is there a time you really were like, oh,

511
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 2: I really have pissed dad off?

512
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 4: I remember. So this was kind of an odd contradiction

513
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 4: with my dad. He did not care about my homework.

514
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,360
Speaker 4: He never paid attention to it. We would go come

515
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,879
Speaker 4: home and just do bits and watch you know, stuff

516
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 4: together or whatever, even out in the woods, you know,

517
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,680
Speaker 4: just watching like Carson or something back in nineteen fifteen

518
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 4: or whatever that was. But when I failed that dropped

519
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 4: out of college.

520
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 1: Okay, so I dropped out of college.

521
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,479
Speaker 4: I was I mean the amount of time that I

522
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,120
Speaker 4: wasn't smoking a weed was like.

523
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 1: Five took ten minutes a day. Right.

524
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,439
Speaker 2: I know I shouldn't be profile, but you do not

525
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 2: strike me as a person who ever has touched marijuana.

526
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 5: I touched it. God did I touch it?

527
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 3: God did I felt that marijuana every curve?

528
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 5: Wow?

529
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:26,359
Speaker 4: Okay, I smoked so much. I don't I can't anymore.

530
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,680
Speaker 4: I can't do that because I loved it so much.

531
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 4: Oh wow, I am I am a non marijuana smoker because.

532
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: It was just like.

533
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,200
Speaker 3: I'm loving this die.

534
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 1: But I had a one point six.

535
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 2: Ka sorry, which is very hard your face, It's very

536
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 2: very like it.

537
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 1: Takes some doing to get a one point six.

538
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 2: What part of the alphabet where your grades? Like back

539
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,639
Speaker 2: half of the alphabet? Yeah, back, back half back getting

540
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 2: these I.

541
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 4: Was getting ours and ends.

542
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: Okay, but I came home.

543
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 4: I remember coming home and you know they had they

544
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 4: had spent a lot.

545
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,440
Speaker 1: Of money, you know they we didn't have a lot

546
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 1: of money.

547
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 4: We were we weren't poor, but you know, you know,

548
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,640
Speaker 4: you could kind of see the poverty line from where

549
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:22,160
Speaker 4: we were at.

550
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,640
Speaker 2: One false move, too many, too many car breakdowns, back

551
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 2: to back.

552
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 4: Truly, truly we were that where when my dad would

553
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 4: get like the tax refund, which would I remember we

554
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:38,399
Speaker 4: got one year for like two thousand dollars. He was like,

555
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 4: we're going we're going out to eat and we went

556
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 4: for pizza.

557
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 3: Like that was oh my gosh, yes, I understand.

558
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 4: But anyway, yeah, so they spent money and he lost

559
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 4: his mind.

560
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:51,920
Speaker 1: He lost his mind.

561
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 4: That was that made that puts him back in the

562
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 4: category like he seemed like an old fashioned.

563
00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 1: Dad and that that was one of those. He loved

564
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:01,160
Speaker 1: to parent me.

565
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 4: With sarcasm, okay, and like socratic.

566
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 1: It was all questions.

567
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 4: So we'd be like, so tell me, like ask like

568
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 4: I'd like to know what did you do this semester?

569
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,919
Speaker 1: You know, it was that kind of thing like do

570
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 1: you think this is a good use of our money?

571
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 4: Like I'd like to know, and I would really like

572
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 4: an answer, do you think those are good use of

573
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,200
Speaker 4: more money? There was like one thing, one of those,

574
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,719
Speaker 4: one of those, for like an hour and a half

575
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 4: of me just going like no, you know, I'll because

576
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 4: the answers no, it wasn't yes, that was dumb.

577
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 2: So how old are you when you dropped out in

578
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:40,640
Speaker 2: flumber eighteen?

579
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,119
Speaker 1: You were nineteen nineteen.

580
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,200
Speaker 3: So you weren't kidding.

581
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,640
Speaker 2: When he was like between the bits and these greats

582
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 2: go be an actor. You were not describing that scenario

583
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:50,479
Speaker 2: for comedic effect.

584
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 3: That's actually what went on.

585
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,639
Speaker 1: It really was. I had no other skill set. I

586
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 1: still have no other skills.

587
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,879
Speaker 2: But you're not handy. You're pretending a little bit. You're

588
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 2: dabbling an outdoorsy right.

589
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 1: Now, cause playing outdoors guy, I was playing out doorsy.

590
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 5: Wow.

591
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 2: Okay, So you remember him losing his ship. But was

592
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:08,879
Speaker 2: he want to raise his voice or was it just

593
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 2: the questions, the sarcastic questions.

594
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was mostly just sarcasm, but but it was

595
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 4: it was intense like he was.

596
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 1: It was very biting. Yeah, and I would say, yeah,

597
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 1: I think the volume was high. I think the volume

598
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,959
Speaker 1: was high. There loud, sarcasm.

599
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 5: Had last It's hard.

600
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 3: Actually, sarcasm is like normal, yeah, sarcasm.

601
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 1: Okay.

602
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 2: Was there an audience where your other siblings around when

603
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 2: this would happen or when this particular conversation happened.

604
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 1: Okay, no, but they all knew what was going on.

605
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 4: I was in the you know, he took me into

606
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 4: my bedroom, which is you know, that's when you know, oh,

607
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 4: yeah it was.

608
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:48,680
Speaker 1: It was not good.

609
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:50,919
Speaker 2: But he was a family therapist. So I feel like

610
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 2: he knew exactly how to use the skills he had

611
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 2: learned in his profession to make you feel what he

612
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 2: needed you to feel. I don't want to assume it's

613
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 2: the shame you had to feel one, and it was.

614
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 4: That's why it was all the socratic stuff, like he

615
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:09,119
Speaker 4: used the questions in family therapy. But for me, it

616
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 4: was definitely let me know that I had really screwed up.

617
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:17,159
Speaker 1: But it was all questions, right, all questions, no statements.

618
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 2: No statements. Only statements were coming from you and answers and.

619
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 1: Obvious answers, obvious answers.

620
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you ultimately flunked out, drop out, it's like,

621
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 2: this is not going to work for me.

622
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 3: What does that conversation with him look like?

623
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 4: He was a little bit more open to it, I

624
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 4: think because he knew I wasn't really ready for college.

625
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 4: So yeah, I sort of started wandering the earth a

626
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 4: little of soul smoking just unbelievable amounts of weeds.

627
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 2: You can feeling up the es, I mean every I

628
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 2: mean every crevice.

629
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 4: I had one of those red wagons that I would

630
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 4: carry behind me.

631
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 1: That was just you know, just bull.

632
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 3: Did he know you were smoking weed?

633
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think he did. I think he did.

634
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 3: I think he did.

635
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 2: He never said to you like, I know you're smoking

636
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 2: and the drugs are going to get in your way.

637
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 3: I can smell it on you. None of that. It

638
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 3: was just like he's a smart man. Okay, So we.

639
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 2: Never talked about so, okay, what's the conversation?

640
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 3: Like, I'm sorry.

641
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 1: It was basically like I think I'm going to drop

642
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:19,720
Speaker 1: out of school. I'm going to and I was going

643
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 1: to travel.

644
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 4: So I that began a period where I just worked

645
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 4: and traveled until he got sick and then and then

646
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 4: I moved home for that period, and I did stop

647
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 4: smoking weed then when he got.

648
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 3: Sick and you moved home. Why do you think that is?

649
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 6: I think the kind of like what we were talking

650
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 6: about before, where it became clear that there were aspects

651
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 6: of his life that he hadn't lived and I.

652
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 4: Never really realized that that because it was actively happening

653
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 4: for me. Yes, it was very very much a present,

654
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 4: tense thing experience for me where I was not living.

655
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 1: Parts of my life. But I definitely I got a really.

656
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,200
Speaker 4: Strong sense from him that there were aspects of his

657
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 4: life that were unfulfilled, which I just hadn't really put together.

658
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 1: Before.

659
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 4: So yeah, I stopped and started to started to think

660
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 4: about other things, and the first thing, weirdly enough, was acting.

661
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 1: He had said that, you know.

662
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 4: So he died in July and I went to an

663
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 4: acting class.

664
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,480
Speaker 1: In August. I went back. I went back to college, okay,

665
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 1: and went directly into an acting class and was like,

666
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 1: what do I.

667
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 3: I mean, okay, we were here.

668
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: What happens?

669
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 2: So, yeah, because you didn't know what to do. Is

670
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 2: he's telling you should pursue a career in acting. You're like,

671
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 2: I don't even know, Like you said what that entails.

672
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 4: No, I was like, my dad died and said I

673
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 4: should be an actor.

674
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 2: And they're like, welcome to class, buddy, every okay, everyone's

675
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 2: everybody's garden.

676
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 3: Fucking Lineman.

677
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 2: When you say you got the sense that there were

678
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 2: parts of his life that were unfulfilled, and you've said

679
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 2: it a few times, did you actually hear him express

680
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 2: that too overtly in any way?

681
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 1: I don't think so.

682
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 4: I think it actually came through in him saying that

683
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 4: I should pursue my dreams, you know what I mean? Like,

684
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 4: I think if you were somebody who was ill and

685
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 4: not long, not long for the world, I think my

686
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 4: instinct would probably be the other direction, which is like,

687
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 4: take care of your family, take care of your mom.

688
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 4: I need you to, you know, I need you to

689
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 4: get a good job and make sure that the family

690
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 4: is secure.

691
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 1: But I think that I just my interpretation.

692
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 4: Is that he was It was basically in his immediate

693
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 4: like you need you should be a performer, and you

694
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 4: should really pursue your dreams.

695
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 2: I think it was from in the subtext I really

696
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 2: appreciate that and being able to like see your parents

697
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 2: and their humanity and saying, Okay, he's saying this to me,

698
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 2: But how do I read between the lines and even

699
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 2: hear the message behind the message?

700
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

701
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 2: While you were pursuing acting, did you then feel an

702
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 2: intense sense of responsibility to succeed at it because this

703
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 2: is something your dad shared with you right before he died,

704
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 2: like that he believes you should do this.

705
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 1: I think so. Yeah.

706
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 4: I think I felt I definitely felt a real responsibility

707
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 4: to stick my neck out because that was kind of

708
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 4: the message that I was.

709
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 1: Getting from him.

710
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 4: The other part, in addition to the fact that he

711
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 4: hadn't pursued he when he was younger, as an adult,

712
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 4: he would send cartoons into the New Yorker from the

713
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 4: Woods of Oregon. Yeah, I remember you like put you

714
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 4: know in a Manila envelope. He would go to the

715
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 4: go to town to put them.

716
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 1: In the mail. Wow, and then get injection you know envelopes.

717
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 4: And at a certain point he stopped and he did

718
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 4: it for a couple of years. But so I think

719
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 4: the I definitely felt I felt a real connection to.

720
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: Him in the pursuit of it.

721
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 4: I guess maybe I didn't feel a ton of pressure

722
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 4: to succeed, but I I definitely felt a lot of

723
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 4: pressure to like really have the adventure, like really like

724
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 4: go for it.

725
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 5: Yeah.

726
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 4: Also, it really helps when you can't when you have

727
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 4: no other skill set like that.

728
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 1: I will say, like.

729
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,800
Speaker 2: I really I've heard it said about acting, like if

730
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 2: you're going to pursue a career in acting, do it

731
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 2: because you literally can't see yourself doing anything else. Because

732
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 2: if you can see yourself doing something else, just go

733
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:45,479
Speaker 2: do that.

734
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 3: That's sad.

735
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 1: And it's even better if you not just that you

736
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: can't see it. You literally can't do anything else. Like

737
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 1: you tried.

738
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 3: And it didn't work.

739
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: No, not good at that.

740
00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 3: What was your major though, your first go at college.

741
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 3: Did you have this?

742
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 4: Because I think it was communication, which is I don't

743
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 4: even know what that means to.

744
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 3: This day that I went to USC.

745
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 2: There's a big communication school there, Annenberg, I don't know

746
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:12,799
Speaker 2: what it means. But I mean, I know a journalist.

747
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 2: I know that, Like, but I know you have to

748
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 2: be a journalism major. What is a communication major?

749
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 1: I don't know what. What did you study?

750
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 2: I studied biology. I was a biology major. A message

751
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 2: you were, I was on my way to pretending I

752
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,800
Speaker 2: was pretending I was going to be a doctor. I

753
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 2: would have been a terrible doctor. I would have been

754
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 2: so terrible. Who wants a doctor who doesn't want to

755
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 2: be there? But then again, I wouldn't be.

756
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 3: Surprised if that's a good number of doctors.

757
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 2: I'd be curious to how many doctors have other passions

758
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,799
Speaker 2: and things they might have pursued if they felt they

759
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 2: had that option.

760
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 1: Did you graduate with a degree in biology?

761
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 2: Graduated with a degree in biology? Because I have this

762
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 2: aversion to quitting that sounds noble, but I actually think

763
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,360
Speaker 2: it's problematic at times for me a big time And

764
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, I did not like it straight away, Okay,

765
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:01,800
Speaker 2: and then I I look back, yeah, straight away.

766
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 1: I mean we're.

767
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 2: Talking month one. I'm like, I don't know that I

768
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 2: made any of the right decisions to this point, but

769
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 2: I had made up my mind.

770
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 3: This is where I was going to school.

771
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 2: This is what I was going to study, because this

772
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,400
Speaker 2: is the deal with my mom, that I would study

773
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:16,400
Speaker 2: biology and be pre med. It didn't have to be biology,

774
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 2: but i'd be pre med. I think if i'd been, like,

775
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,840
Speaker 2: my major psych but I'm pre mad, she would have

776
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:21,239
Speaker 2: been like.

777
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 3: No, no, no, you're very enough track.

778
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 2: Like, so I was like, here's a science major, not

779
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:30,640
Speaker 2: a social science, but a science major, hard science, right,

780
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 2: and I'm pre med. I knew I didn't like it,

781
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:35,719
Speaker 2: but I was like, this is the plan. This is

782
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 2: what people do when they go to college. You don't

783
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 2: study in art. And I would hear whispers and around

784
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 2: the holidays, around other cousins who were older and they

785
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 2: weren't cousins by blood, but like, this person went to

786
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 2: this Ivy League school, but then they changed their major

787
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,319
Speaker 2: once they got there, because you're allowed because your parents

788
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 2: aren't in control of you at eighteen, and now they're

789
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 2: on a wayward path because they changed their to creative writing.

790
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 3: Or something, and so I knew, like, you don't do that,

791
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:01,880
Speaker 3: that's throwing away QUI.

792
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 1: Lost, Yeah exactly, Yes.

793
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, you change your You're at an ivy,

794
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 2: but you change your major. So I would hear that,

795
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 2: and I was like, Okay, so I'm going to just

796
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 2: do this. This will be my like I have a

797
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 2: really solid air quote backup plan. But I'm like, I

798
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 2: don't even know that I would have got into med school.

799
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:19,279
Speaker 2: I certainly would dread every day of it.

800
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:19,879
Speaker 3: I know that.

801
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just wasn't a good science student. I kind

802
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 2: of think it's crazy that we make eighteen year olds

803
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 2: pick a major and be like, and that's the thing

804
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 2: you're gonna do.

805
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know, Like.

806
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 2: I'm curious at this point, and I should be curious

807
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 2: what a cool trait to try to first of all,

808
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,840
Speaker 2: maintain well into adulthood. But at this point I should

809
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 2: definitely be able to just dabble in curiosity. Yeah, but

810
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 2: I remember looking back, I'm like in my twenties, and

811
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 2: I was like, you didn't like science in high school,

812
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:48,399
Speaker 2: literally didn't like it, Like actively did not enjoy those

813
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 2: classes in high school?

814
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:51,359
Speaker 3: What made you think?

815
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 5: Did you?

816
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 1: But did you do well in them?

817
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 3: I didn't do poorly.

818
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 2: I didn't really get bad grades in high school at all,

819
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 2: but I actively didn't enjoy it. There were classes that

820
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 2: I was more curious about and that I excelled in.

821
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 2: When I picked up a business miner at USC my

822
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,800
Speaker 2: senior year, because I thought college had to be four years.

823
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 2: At this point, I'm basically done my bio major of

824
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 2: one class. Other people would be like, I'm taking one

825
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,880
Speaker 2: class this semester. They might have crammed in the class

826
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 2: over the summer. They might have been like, and I

827
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 2: did college in three years. But I was like, it's

828
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 2: got to be four years. So I picked up two miners.

829
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 2: One of them was business, and I loved doing my

830
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 2: business homework because I like math, but not enough to

831
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 2: be a math major. But I really liked math, and

832
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 2: so I'm like, I enjoy this. I'm excited to get

833
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 2: my lined paper and my mechanical pencil and figure out

834
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 2: access for its liabilities. Round my accounting class, I was like,

835
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,240
Speaker 2: I love it. I love these numbers. I love sitting

836
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 2: got to do math. So there are other things I

837
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,399
Speaker 2: could have done in terms of majors that I think

838
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 2: I would have found enjoyable. I'm glad I get to

839
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 2: do this thing. But while you mentioned finding parallels, it

840
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:53,280
Speaker 2: seems between your pursuit of acting and your dad's pursuit

841
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 2: in the arts himself and sending his cartoons to the

842
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 2: New Yorker, Is there anything else you look at now

843
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 2: and you go, ah, I'm experiencing or clocking a parallel

844
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 2: with my dad here, like values he instilled in you

845
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 2: that you're seeing.

846
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:09,799
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, these are really appoying to me.

847
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 1: Now, Yeah, for sure.

848
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 4: So I've taken this long break up until this past

849
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,840
Speaker 4: spring from performing, and a lot of had to do

850
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 4: with moving the Utah. And my dad was never gone.

851
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:26,399
Speaker 4: He was never gone, like, never never traveled. I don't

852
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 4: remember him being gone, and I mean ever he's here

853
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 4: every night.

854
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:31,360
Speaker 3: Wow.

855
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 4: And the first part of being a first stretch of

856
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:37,440
Speaker 4: being a parent, I was gone a fair amount, you know,

857
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 4: just by the nature of our business.

858
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:44,440
Speaker 1: You know, I just be gone for two weeks here,

859
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 1: three weeks there, you know, whatever it was.

860
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 4: And I think maybe by virtue of COVID to a degree.

861
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:55,080
Speaker 4: But once I got into that rhythm, I really really

862
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 4: felt my dad in terms of like just I don't

863
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 4: even think of it as like a virtue. It just

864
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 4: really like I got into a rhythm of like being

865
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:09,760
Speaker 4: home and my dad loved to cook, and I've grown

866
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:10,600
Speaker 4: to love to cook.

867
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,800
Speaker 1: And I think probably.

868
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 4: Losing him when I was younger as a motivator, but

869
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:19,400
Speaker 4: I've definitely felt connected to him and like really loving

870
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 4: to be home, right, and really like I'm prioritizing it

871
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 4: isn't isn't even a word. I mean, isn't the right word,

872
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:29,000
Speaker 4: because it's truly organic. It's just really like that I'm

873
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 4: just really digging it, like just been really nice, and

874
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:36,840
Speaker 4: it's hard to think about like scenarios that feel like

875
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:38,439
Speaker 4: worth it if that makes sense.

876
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, that does make sense.

877
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:41,439
Speaker 2: And it's cool to hear it put that way, even

878
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 2: as you sort of like, I don't want to reject

879
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 2: is maybe too strong of a word, but you sort

880
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 2: of like show away the notion that it's a virtue

881
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 2: that you would want to be present. It's it's really

882
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 2: cool to hear that where you go, yes, sure, a priority,

883
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 2: but I actually just really enjoy it. I prefer it

884
00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 2: to other things, and I prefer it to being gone.

885
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think it's a real that's a blessing.

886
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 4: You know that that my dad really gave me was

887
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,120
Speaker 4: I could tell he was having a good time.

888
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 1: That's a fucking cool time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was

889
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 1: having a good time. He really like he cooked, and

890
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,359
Speaker 1: we laughed a lot, and you know, it.

891
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:23,280
Speaker 4: Was like it wasn't like he was at home begrudgingly, right,

892
00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 4: it was really like we we we have a lot

893
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 4: of good nights.

894
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 2: And he had energy for you guys, and you were

895
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:33,439
Speaker 2: sharing energy. I'm just picturing that childhood or your youth

896
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:35,040
Speaker 2: with him. And when you're saying, like, we laughed and

897
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:36,840
Speaker 2: he liked to cook, and he liked being home and

898
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:39,280
Speaker 2: he seemed like he was enjoying it, that's so refreshing.

899
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:43,440
Speaker 4: Probably painting too perfect of a picture of our home life, though,

900
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 4: because Okay, there were certainly periods when I'm sure he

901
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,239
Speaker 4: was absolutely sick of us, and I'm just not remembering

902
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 4: them well.

903
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:53,959
Speaker 3: Also, I mean it's people.

904
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,960
Speaker 2: People pass away and you tend to remember and you

905
00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 2: just remember the good. But you don't sound pretty. I

906
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 2: wasn't there. Again, you are old enough to be my dad.

907
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 2: You said you're nineteen fifteen, was it? No, But you

908
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 2: don't seem deluted. I don't get the sense that you're

909
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 2: like now painting the picture of this. He sounds quite

910
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 2: human in so many ways, given that he was having

911
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 2: so much fun and you were aware of it, and

912
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 2: you were sharing all these laps and you didn't feel pressure,

913
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 2: which is all wonderful things to feel in your home life.

914
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,919
Speaker 2: Did you always know you wanted to be a dad?

915
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:25,839
Speaker 1: Yeah?

916
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think there was a brief period when.

917
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:33,319
Speaker 1: Holly, my wife, and I, when we lived in New.

918
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 4: York, when we kind of entertained not having kids because

919
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 4: you know, I don't know about what it is about

920
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 4: New York, but it was just like we were having

921
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 4: the great time.

922
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, New York's a vibe in that way it is

923
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 2: I want kids, and I feel like when I walk

924
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 2: around the city some days or weeks, especially in the summer,

925
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 2: I go, oh, why would you go and do that? Yeah?

926
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, it really was.

927
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:58,320
Speaker 4: It was like you see in somebody carrying a bassinet

928
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,920
Speaker 4: up the subway stairs when you're like like, no, I

929
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 4: think we're fine. Yeah, but no, no, in the back

930
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 4: of my mind, I really did.

931
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,400
Speaker 1: I really did want to be apparent, And it's.

932
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, even as you didn't know exactly what you wanted

933
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 2: to do professionally or career wise. You're like, this is

934
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 2: something I knew I wanted.

935
00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's a thing that we all have to

936
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 4: deal with. It's really weird, and I suppose anybody who

937
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 4: is a freelance employee of any kind like we are.

938
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 4: But there's this double dutch of like when do you

939
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 4: start a family with your career?

940
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 1: You know, like do I jump in now? Do I

941
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 1: jump in now?

942
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 4: You know, you're like waiting for this perfect window and

943
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 4: that can that can go on forever and ever. So

944
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 4: we got a late start. But okay, because I just

945
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 4: goes constantly. We were constantly like do we have enough

946
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 4: like savings, like we're going to need another bedroom, you know,

947
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,600
Speaker 4: like all of that stuff like that can go on forever.

948
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:01,920
Speaker 2: But when you guys did go ahead and do it,

949
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 2: you're saying you got a late start. Did you feel

950
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 2: you had found the perfect window or was it sort

951
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 2: of like.

952
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 4: Yes and no, yes and no, Like there's kind of

953
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 4: never the perfect window and so much of life is

954
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 4: out of your control anyway.

955
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, but in retrospect it kind of was.

956
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:19,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, it just was like at the beginning of some

957
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 4: some stability and we were starting to feel a little

958
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 4: more connected to the West Coast. It was like, which

959
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:29,760
Speaker 4: is where we were both raised? Yeah, she was raised

960
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 4: here in Utah. I was raised in Oregon, and that's

961
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 4: kind of where we kind of that's where our tools

962
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:38,279
Speaker 4: for parenting were, right, you know, basically working out of

963
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 4: a car.

964
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, I guess not really New York. So yeah, yeah,

965
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 1: it has did kind of feel like luckily.

966
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm from Baltimore and I was saying to

967
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 2: somebody yesterday and my friend is moving to New York

968
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,920
Speaker 2: and he's from LA and he's only ever lived in LA.

969
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 2: And he was like, I don't know how I'm going

970
00:43:58,560 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 2: to do. How am I going to do the winters?

971
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:01,799
Speaker 2: He was like, how do you deal? I was like,

972
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 2: I'm from a car place. It is cold outside, but

973
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:08,319
Speaker 2: I go start the car in the driveway if it's

974
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,759
Speaker 2: so cool, you know, I'm like, you don't like hang

975
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:14,319
Speaker 2: out outside in Baltimore and we're driving from building with

976
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 2: heat to building with heat, and so I was like,

977
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 2: I still don't love New York winter and any by

978
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 2: any starch of the imagination.

979
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that always felt like an adventure.

980
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 4: Winter in New York always felt like I was the

981
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:30,040
Speaker 4: closest I'd ever get to being like an explorer.

982
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 3: Yes, so you.

983
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:35,359
Speaker 2: Found this perfect window, which I love for you. And

984
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 2: were you scared when you go I'm going to embark

985
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 2: on this journey? Yet you were scared?

986
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:41,560
Speaker 1: Yeah? For sure?

987
00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:42,760
Speaker 3: What were you freaked about?

988
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 4: My gosh, everything everything? I think, you know, I just

989
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 4: want to do right by this little human.

990
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 1: Also, I think because and my.

991
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 4: You know, we talked a lot about my dad, but

992
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 4: my mom is just such an extraordinary person on especially

993
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 4: after my dad passed, just showed unbelievable strength, you know.

994
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, just an incredible, incredible woman. She's still alive. She

995
00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:11,280
Speaker 1: lives within a mile of me now in Utah. That's nice.

996
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:12,080
Speaker 1: She's awesome.

997
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 3: She left Oregon and was like, I'm going to come

998
00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:14,480
Speaker 3: to Utah.

999
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:17,239
Speaker 1: So yeah, okay, my brother lives here too.

1000
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,439
Speaker 4: We have some we have some businesses here in town.

1001
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:23,799
Speaker 4: So she came to tracking down the grandkids. She she

1002
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 4: is very old fashioned. She does not knock.

1003
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:34,720
Speaker 2: So I want any of the doors, the front door,

1004
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 2: it was okay, none of the doors. Also allowed to

1005
00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 2: have doors locked growing up, but not like I also

1006
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:42,279
Speaker 2: never felt like my privacy was invaded. But but it

1007
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:44,759
Speaker 2: was like doors locked in the houses. We don't do that.

1008
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 1: But anyway, yeah, yeah she doesn't. She hasn't locked her

1009
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 1: door for real. She hasn't locked her car doors or

1010
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:54,399
Speaker 1: her her front door of her house in her life.

1011
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 3: My mom's friend, miss Esther, also never locked her front door.

1012
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 2: And this is in Baltimore. Miss Ester never locked her

1013
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 2: front door. Was like, no need, And I was like, whoa,

1014
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 2: we locked our front door.

1015
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:06,799
Speaker 3: I will say, wow, yeah.

1016
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 1: My mom.

1017
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:09,279
Speaker 4: I will still say like, Mom, you got to lock

1018
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 4: your door, and she's like, well, fifty.

1019
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:16,600
Speaker 1: Five years later, I think there's some empirical proof, you.

1020
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:19,040
Speaker 3: Know, yeah, And you can't really argue with her there,

1021
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 3: I guess.

1022
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,880
Speaker 4: But anyway, I'll turn a corner in the house and

1023
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 4: she'll be there with some muffins or something. I was like,

1024
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:28,319
Speaker 4: oh god, yeah, And I think I had just like

1025
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 4: I also wanted to kind of do right by the

1026
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:35,719
Speaker 4: parents who like really worked hard to try to get

1027
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 4: me into a good place, which took some shaping, right,

1028
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 4: So yeah, I felt a lot of pressure there. I

1029
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 4: really the pressure is lessened when you have a partner

1030
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:48,759
Speaker 4: who's really like on the ball. My wife is just

1031
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:50,920
Speaker 4: a really very competent person.

1032
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:52,759
Speaker 3: Thank you. Yeah, shout out to Holly is.

1033
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,880
Speaker 1: Actually was she was when we met. And then this

1034
00:46:58,040 --> 00:46:58,759
Speaker 1: was in New York.

1035
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:02,720
Speaker 4: The business, the business end of the business didn't really.

1036
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 1: Drive with her, so she became a banker in New York.

1037
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:11,799
Speaker 1: Well for a long time. Yeah, left and then uh.

1038
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:14,280
Speaker 4: I went to pastry school and has had some different

1039
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 4: chapters in her life.

1040
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:16,400
Speaker 5: But so cool.

1041
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:20,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, I love that she went from acting to

1042
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 2: banker because I go straight up instability the Flora's lava

1043
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 2: when you're an actor to Okay, now it's concrete and

1044
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 2: I know where my check's coming from every week, and

1045
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 2: there's order here, and there's a way that things go.

1046
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:38,360
Speaker 3: It's linear in many ways. That's nice.

1047
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 4: She well, especially as you as somebody who who loves

1048
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:43,720
Speaker 4: math and loves that world.

1049
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:47,080
Speaker 1: But she it was the place that she went to

1050
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 1: like within.

1051
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:51,879
Speaker 4: A few maybe a year after she was kind of transitioning,

1052
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:55,239
Speaker 4: and she supported us.

1053
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 1: Wow, she really did. Like I was, I was a

1054
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 1: fan in a lot like.

1055
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:06,280
Speaker 2: For years, right, and this is before the kids come along. Yes, yeah, okay,

1056
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:10,360
Speaker 2: Now when she was supporting you guys, Yeah, how was

1057
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 2: your male ego doing?

1058
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 1: Tell me it was. It took him. It took him minute,

1059
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:16,479
Speaker 1: you know, it took him minute. Like I think I

1060
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 1: was raised.

1061
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 4: I was raised in a very progressive household, so I

1062
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 4: had that going for me.

1063
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 1: But I think maybe I don't know if it's.

1064
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 4: My probably my male ego, probably my male ego, but

1065
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:28,720
Speaker 4: definitely my ego in general.

1066
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,960
Speaker 1: Also also my my genderless ego.

1067
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 2: Genderless ego. Fine, yes, your how is your genderless ego?

1068
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:42,560
Speaker 4: Doing ego was also really like you gotta get your

1069
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:45,279
Speaker 4: ship together, You got to pull in some you got

1070
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 4: to pull.

1071
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 1: Your weight a little. So I worked really hard.

1072
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:54,640
Speaker 4: I will say, like, I think I was very motivated

1073
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 4: to to to kind of carry my weight and I

1074
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 4: and probably to your point, probably some of that's pride.

1075
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:07,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, like just me getting up early to work.

1076
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 4: On auditions because I'm like, yeah, I don't want to

1077
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 4: go to another dinner party and have her like, you know,

1078
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 4: she was really climbing the ladder quickly at this credit

1079
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:19,719
Speaker 4: swee a big banking from in New York.

1080
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, I've heard that.

1081
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 4: I'm just like, you know, I went in for a

1082
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 4: you know, a Sonic commercial.

1083
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:33,799
Speaker 2: Can't pay the rent with the veil, you can't pay

1084
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 2: bills with a veil, which I'm so fascinated by because

1085
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:41,640
Speaker 2: just having pursued acting myself and having friends in different

1086
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 2: stages of their careers. Still you know some friends who

1087
00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:46,880
Speaker 2: have like really sort of I don't even want to

1088
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 2: say figured it out, because as much as I don't

1089
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:52,040
Speaker 2: know that I believe in luck fully, I want to

1090
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 2: just for the sake of being concise. Go people who've

1091
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,919
Speaker 2: gotten super lucky and it has just fucking worked out.

1092
00:49:57,960 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 2: And then there's people who I'm like, they get a

1093
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 2: thing here and there, it's pretty unstable and inconsistent. Yeah,

1094
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:10,240
Speaker 2: I'm fascinated by the dynamics with relationships in that regard,

1095
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 2: And so to hear even your experience, you're at a

1096
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:15,880
Speaker 2: dinner party and Holly pulls out her card, but she

1097
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 2: pretends you pulled it out. You get to you take

1098
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 2: her card before you go into the couple's dinner party

1099
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:25,640
Speaker 2: and put it in your wallet, and then the server's

1100
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:29,800
Speaker 2: looking for a Holly and well, Holly want to sign.

1101
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 1: It, Harry, thank you, Harry everything.

1102
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:35,479
Speaker 2: And someone goes every time I'm getting in the sense

1103
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 2: that Holly's paying for everything. Yeah, well, that's wonderful that

1104
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 2: you had a partner that way. What are some things

1105
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 2: that you guys are trying to instill as parents in

1106
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:46,400
Speaker 2: your girls.

1107
00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:50,879
Speaker 4: It's girls, right, Yeah, I think where we're at right now,

1108
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 4: we're entering into homework like for the first time. And

1109
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 4: as you know from earlier within this discussion, I was

1110
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 4: not so it's not good at it.

1111
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 3: So you were not missed a homework.

1112
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 4: Okay, So now I'm I'm in the position of trying

1113
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:10,360
Speaker 4: to advocate, like trying to basically convince my my daughter's

1114
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 4: that really it's important to develop these good habits that

1115
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 4: I didn't have.

1116
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:17,799
Speaker 1: So don't nobody's nobody's going to hear this.

1117
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 3: Right, No, don't let that How old are they?

1118
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:21,920
Speaker 1: Fourteen and twelve?

1119
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 2: We are We are going to be playing episodes in

1120
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:27,279
Speaker 2: every child's middle school, So every dad who comes on,

1121
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:30,080
Speaker 2: I'm locating their schools and I'm going to if they're

1122
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:32,720
Speaker 2: middle school and up or playing them. Do they watch

1123
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 2: your work or seek out your work in an.

1124
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,239
Speaker 1: Really no, no, not really.

1125
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:40,320
Speaker 2: Not interested in you? Does that feel kind of nice?

1126
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:40,840
Speaker 1: Yes?

1127
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 4: And it's simultaneously nice and insulting, because like one, it's

1128
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:48,480
Speaker 4: great because they don't give a crap, you know, But

1129
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 4: the other thing is like when I come on screen,

1130
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:51,760
Speaker 4: if it's something they're watching.

1131
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 1: They're basically like hurry up, like.

1132
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay.

1133
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:58,839
Speaker 2: Too, because now I'm They're like, I've been pulled out

1134
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 2: of the story because that's and.

1135
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:01,400
Speaker 5: Now I think it is.

1136
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 1: Okay, I think that's actually it.

1137
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 4: There's sort of like, let's get we were actually watching something.

1138
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:09,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, now you come on screen, damn it. Okay, So

1139
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,040
Speaker 2: homework is a thing right now that you're.

1140
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:16,239
Speaker 4: Trying to we're trying to instill like good habits, which

1141
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:19,840
Speaker 4: I you know, as an adult, I developed good habits.

1142
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,600
Speaker 1: But the truth be told, when I was their age,

1143
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 1: I had no good habits.

1144
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:28,800
Speaker 4: So right now my wife is leading the charge because

1145
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:30,360
Speaker 4: she's always had good habits.

1146
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:33,560
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm in the background. I'm like her hired man.

1147
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:39,640
Speaker 2: That's what mom said, Yeah, you were, you were.

1148
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:40,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1149
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 1: If you heard all her life, all her life, and

1150
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:52,479
Speaker 1: you and you her life, you're Yeah.

1151
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:56,680
Speaker 2: If your daughters do not do well academically, how do

1152
00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:58,120
Speaker 2: you think you're going to handle that?

1153
00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:01,960
Speaker 1: Good question, Good question. I've got no ground to stand on.

1154
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:04,440
Speaker 1: I've got no ground to stand on.

1155
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, I gotta just say quietly in the background and

1156
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:10,319
Speaker 4: let Holly go out him.

1157
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:14,040
Speaker 2: Hype man is quiet now go, hype man's actually quiet

1158
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 2: for shame?

1159
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:16,200
Speaker 5: Wow?

1160
00:53:17,719 --> 00:53:19,040
Speaker 1: Is that crying? Is he?

1161
00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:24,680
Speaker 3: What is that crying? What's happening? Yeah? I think that's

1162
00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:26,880
Speaker 3: a fascinating spot to be in.

1163
00:53:26,920 --> 00:53:30,239
Speaker 2: Where you go, yeah, I made this mistake or I

1164
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 2: misstepped in this way. But here's the thing, it's crazy

1165
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:34,719
Speaker 2: because it all worked out for you, right, So then

1166
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 2: you go, how much does it really matter? I did

1167
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:39,360
Speaker 2: not have good habits at twelve and fourteen?

1168
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:43,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I guess you know, I can at least

1169
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:46,240
Speaker 4: bring up that, like I had to develop good habits

1170
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 4: and and hopefully have good habits so that like, hopefully

1171
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:55,720
Speaker 4: I'm modeling some decent oubits. But but I basically started

1172
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:58,759
Speaker 4: when I was twenty, so I've got like they've got.

1173
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:00,839
Speaker 1: A long leash, They've they've got some time.

1174
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 2: But also the notion I think that might be helpful

1175
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:05,600
Speaker 2: is like the sooner you start, the better.

1176
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:07,959
Speaker 3: The sooner you developed, the heck, the better.

1177
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:09,200
Speaker 1: Thank you, more.

1178
00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:11,960
Speaker 2: Life to enjoy with more order. In those years when

1179
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:15,880
Speaker 2: Dak was will you tell them that you were smoking weed? O?

1180
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:19,400
Speaker 1: We Oh, well, here's the thing. I didn't start and

1181
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 1: this is true, Okay, I didn't start until I was

1182
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:22,840
Speaker 1: out of high school.

1183
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:25,319
Speaker 4: So it was really just like two years of like

1184
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:30,840
Speaker 4: full blood constant Okay, okay, like zero to one hundred, okay,

1185
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:31,840
Speaker 4: zero to one hundred.

1186
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,120
Speaker 3: You don't and you do not dibble dabble anymore.

1187
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:34,839
Speaker 1: No, you're not.

1188
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:36,280
Speaker 3: Oh wow, hard.

1189
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 1: No, I would be within like twenty minutes. I'd be

1190
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 1: in my underwear watching cartoons, maybe snacking like like it would.

1191
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 1: It wouldn't even be like a half an hour.

1192
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,480
Speaker 2: Okay, you're like, I can how did you develop this

1193
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:51,360
Speaker 2: hard line with it?

1194
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,960
Speaker 1: By the way, it just was really clear that like

1195
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:55,120
Speaker 1: nothing was happening.

1196
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:57,239
Speaker 2: So was this once you started acting? Is that when

1197
00:54:57,239 --> 00:54:59,520
Speaker 2: you were like, okay, I have to stop start acting. Okay, gotcha?

1198
00:54:59,600 --> 00:54:59,920
Speaker 3: All right?

1199
00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:04,160
Speaker 2: Do you want your girls to be able to talk

1200
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 2: to you about a anything? And I said it like

1201
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 2: that on purpose? Okay, great, I really do.

1202
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 1: And I don't know how to make that happen.

1203
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:15,319
Speaker 4: I would loved I would love advice on how to

1204
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 4: make that happen, because I know that you also can't

1205
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:18,320
Speaker 4: be a great.

1206
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:19,720
Speaker 1: Parent and be their best friend.

1207
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I've never a tough part.

1208
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:25,840
Speaker 2: Right, I've never been a parent, But I for the

1209
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:27,840
Speaker 2: most part, when I look back on how I was

1210
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:30,560
Speaker 2: raised by my mom specifically, it did take a village.

1211
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:33,680
Speaker 2: But when I think about my relationship with my mom, yeah,

1212
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:37,279
Speaker 2: I am grateful. I'm just grateful that she was a

1213
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:39,560
Speaker 2: mom to me right and whatever that meant to me.

1214
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:43,799
Speaker 2: She was not my best friend, like I would I

1215
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:45,759
Speaker 2: call her my number one girl. I used to say

1216
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:48,000
Speaker 2: that to her all the time up until like three

1217
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:50,960
Speaker 2: years ago, because I'm like, you're not my friend, which

1218
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 2: you're my number one girl.

1219
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 5: But now she number four, she's number four on the

1220
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 5: call list.

1221
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:59,359
Speaker 2: We got Rashida Ashley, my sister. Like people, she's she's

1222
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 2: she kind of in the rankings. No, she's she's the one.

1223
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:06,560
Speaker 2: But I enjoy that we had this sort of like

1224
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 2: boundaried situation going on.

1225
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:10,840
Speaker 1: Did you did you tell her everything?

1226
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:11,319
Speaker 3: No?

1227
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:15,160
Speaker 2: Absolutely not, absolutely not. Yeah, it's interesting. I have this

1228
00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:19,000
Speaker 2: sort of friend who's a mentor in some ways, not professionally,

1229
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 2: more of like I call her a life mentor. I

1230
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:24,480
Speaker 2: surmise our relationship that way. And her name is Reagan.

1231
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:27,080
Speaker 2: I absolutely adore her, and I used to babysit her

1232
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:29,000
Speaker 2: sons when they were two and four or at four

1233
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:31,520
Speaker 2: and six, excuse me, four and six and the four

1234
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:35,920
Speaker 2: year old just started college today. His parents are dropping

1235
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 2: him off today. Jonas is going to college. I love

1236
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:43,160
Speaker 2: you kid, great kids. But she once I was confiding

1237
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:45,719
Speaker 2: in her about a dating situation and she was like, sweetie,

1238
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:48,120
Speaker 2: she's so sweet. It was a terrible situation she was

1239
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 2: and it wasn't like I wasn't in danger or anything

1240
00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:50,239
Speaker 2: like that.

1241
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:51,879
Speaker 3: But she goes, you ever talk to your mom about

1242
00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:53,840
Speaker 3: this stuff? And I go, oh, no, no, no, no

1243
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:54,680
Speaker 3: no no, no no no.

1244
00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 2: And what I said to in that moment is I

1245
00:56:57,640 --> 00:56:59,920
Speaker 2: don't want her to worry. I said that in the moment.

1246
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:02,200
Speaker 2: Is that true. I'm gonna take a moment to think

1247
00:57:02,239 --> 00:57:05,560
Speaker 2: if that's exactly why. Yes, it's like I don't want

1248
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:07,400
Speaker 2: her to worry, and we don't talk about those things

1249
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 2: now now that I'm older, I like pay my own rent.

1250
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:12,960
Speaker 2: I'm taking care of myself. My career is where it

1251
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:17,280
Speaker 2: is in a way, it's stable, and I might deal

1252
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:21,200
Speaker 2: with a bad situation nin dating. I have gone, okay,

1253
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell her a little bit of this, and

1254
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:24,960
Speaker 2: she just shuts down.

1255
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 3: She like, that's what I think about.

1256
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:30,240
Speaker 2: She does not want to hear I'm not being treated

1257
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 2: what like she doesn't want to hear that.

1258
00:57:32,640 --> 00:57:33,600
Speaker 3: She doesn't want to hear it.

1259
00:57:33,720 --> 00:57:36,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you go, oh, okay, I found the

1260
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 2: boundary line. It was never spoken, but I found the line.

1261
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 2: I kind of inherently in the way you were talking

1262
00:57:42,720 --> 00:57:48,360
Speaker 2: sort of about your father's unfulfilled dreams for himself. You

1263
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 2: just get a sense like I'm grasping my belly here.

1264
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:53,000
Speaker 2: I'm like, I just got a sense in my twenties.

1265
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:54,760
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't think my mom wants to hear

1266
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:56,760
Speaker 2: about the fuck boy I'm dating.

1267
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:02,440
Speaker 3: And so yeah, we.

1268
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:05,320
Speaker 4: I wonder, you know, hearing you say that out loud,

1269
00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:08,040
Speaker 4: I actually wonder if I can handle it.

1270
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wonder if I can handle it. Maybe I can.

1271
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:12,800
Speaker 3: You might not be able to tie.

1272
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:18,080
Speaker 2: It's such a hearing and you're sweet, precious due and

1273
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 2: I'm like a sweetheart tie And by my estimation, the

1274
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:24,440
Speaker 2: way you're so humble, we might cut that part out

1275
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 2: up top.

1276
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:28,080
Speaker 3: So I have to give context. Then I was asking

1277
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:28,800
Speaker 3: time he was humble.

1278
00:58:28,840 --> 00:58:30,439
Speaker 2: He says I'm the humblest and it's like me going,

1279
00:58:30,480 --> 00:58:33,040
Speaker 2: I'm just the sweetest, sweet girl. But I'm like, oh,

1280
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:35,880
Speaker 2: pretty sweet goal. I'm like, I don't think anyone who

1281
00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 2: cares about me. My friends even you can see them

1282
00:58:38,160 --> 00:58:40,480
Speaker 2: like they can handle it because they're my friends, but

1283
00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:44,120
Speaker 2: they like get upset and I go, my mom, who

1284
00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:47,280
Speaker 2: changed my diapers. I don't think she wants to hear

1285
00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:51,080
Speaker 2: about the bad guy, and so it's cool. I feel

1286
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:54,600
Speaker 2: very close to her, and I think it's appropriately close

1287
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 2: because that's what feels appropriate for us and hurts level

1288
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:03,760
Speaker 2: of vulnerability and her tools kit and mine. So I

1289
00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:05,640
Speaker 2: think it varies and there is no one answer in

1290
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:07,160
Speaker 2: that way, and so you'll just have to know.

1291
00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:09,640
Speaker 3: But I go, sometimes you're keeping things away.

1292
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:11,600
Speaker 2: From them, not because you're like I want secrets or

1293
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:15,040
Speaker 2: I want distance, it's just like that's not their forte.

1294
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:16,920
Speaker 2: I don't think they can handle this, and I don't

1295
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:18,640
Speaker 2: think they can hear this in the way it would

1296
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:20,080
Speaker 2: be if I was telling a girlfriend.

1297
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:23,320
Speaker 1: I take it back, Okay, I genuinely take it back.

1298
00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:25,640
Speaker 1: I think just sharing it out loud. I don't think

1299
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:26,720
Speaker 1: I want to know everything.

1300
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:27,400
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.

1301
00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:30,080
Speaker 4: I don't think I want to talk about everything with them,

1302
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:32,560
Speaker 4: because you're right, like, I honestly don't think I thought

1303
00:59:32,600 --> 00:59:33,120
Speaker 4: that's true.

1304
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:36,840
Speaker 2: It's nice to be because the notion is really nice.

1305
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:39,680
Speaker 2: Tied the notion that like, I want them to feel

1306
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:42,680
Speaker 2: I'm a safe haven and I'm there.

1307
00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:43,880
Speaker 3: For them, So you go, yeah, I want them to

1308
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:44,920
Speaker 3: be able to tell me anything.

1309
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:48,520
Speaker 2: And then I'm like, in practice, you could hear some

1310
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:52,040
Speaker 2: really hurtful things. And how do you step in and

1311
00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:55,480
Speaker 2: protect while still allowing them to have their experiences and

1312
00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:58,760
Speaker 2: feel like they are allowed to have their experiences.

1313
00:59:58,800 --> 00:59:59,840
Speaker 3: It's such a fine line.

1314
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:01,840
Speaker 2: I support you taking it back, is all I'm trying

1315
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:03,760
Speaker 2: to say right now, in a very long winded way.

1316
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:06,040
Speaker 4: I had an experience since where we've gone down this

1317
01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:09,800
Speaker 4: road of the two years of me carrying around a

1318
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:10,560
Speaker 4: wagon of weed.

1319
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:13,080
Speaker 1: I had an experienced once.

1320
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:15,760
Speaker 4: With my dad, who really wanted me to talk about

1321
01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:19,120
Speaker 4: everything with him as a therapist, you know, where I

1322
01:00:19,160 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 4: told him that I'd done acid, and he completely shut down.

1323
01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:27,920
Speaker 1: Just like you just said. He was like, he was like, what, yes,

1324
01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 1: he did? He not out loud in his head.

1325
01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:33,560
Speaker 2: Exactly, absolutely, that's the thing. Nothing to say, And then

1326
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:36,160
Speaker 2: you I'm left hanging and I almost wish you would

1327
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 2: say something.

1328
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:39,000
Speaker 1: A little bit.

1329
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:41,400
Speaker 2: She just went, she just fell silent. She just got

1330
01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:44,040
Speaker 2: really quiet. We were on FaceTime and it was just quiet.

1331
01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, well we were talking and

1332
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:51,240
Speaker 2: now you just got really really quiet. I know you're

1333
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:54,280
Speaker 2: not mad at me, per se. I remember getting my

1334
01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 2: belly button piers and I was such a sucker for Like,

1335
01:00:57,360 --> 01:00:59,320
Speaker 2: I've thought about a sketch about this. It wouldn't be

1336
01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:01,520
Speaker 2: about the belly button piercing thing. But I used to

1337
01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:03,320
Speaker 2: be a person who was like, if a thing is free,

1338
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 2: I'll say yes. So I went with my friend to

1339
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:07,600
Speaker 2: get her belly button pierced, and she's like, when you

1340
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:09,480
Speaker 2: come with me. And when we got there, she's like, okay,

1341
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:11,320
Speaker 2: well you get years done too, because and she's like,

1342
01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:13,120
Speaker 2: I'll pay for years, and I was like, well, what's free.

1343
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:15,840
Speaker 2: I didn't come wanting a belly button piercing, nor did

1344
01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:18,640
Speaker 2: I intend, but since you're paying for it, sure, I

1345
01:01:18,680 --> 01:01:21,160
Speaker 2: got my belly butt pierce It was crooked, honey, it

1346
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:23,840
Speaker 2: was crooked belly. And the piercer after looks at it,

1347
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 2: and I don't say anything because I'm in some semblance

1348
01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:28,480
Speaker 2: of denial, so I don't even acknowledge that it's crooked.

1349
01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:32,560
Speaker 2: I see that it's crooked. It is visibly crooked, and

1350
01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:36,120
Speaker 2: the piercer goes, I don't even think I make a face,

1351
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 2: but he's it's hey, that's just going to straighten out

1352
01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:38,960
Speaker 2: as it heals.

1353
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:44,400
Speaker 3: That's not how holes work, that's not And.

1354
01:01:44,440 --> 01:01:47,040
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, okay, I knew that he was

1355
01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 2: wrong and lying, and he pierced it crookedly. He knew,

1356
01:01:50,400 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 2: but I was just like, what is there to be

1357
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:54,360
Speaker 2: done now? I was like, I didn't pay for it.

1358
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:56,240
Speaker 2: I'm not going to demand my friend's money back.

1359
01:01:56,400 --> 01:01:57,520
Speaker 5: If you gain, if you.

1360
01:01:57,520 --> 01:02:00,600
Speaker 1: Gain a tremendous amount of weight, that thing straight out

1361
01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:00,920
Speaker 1: I know.

1362
01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:03,680
Speaker 2: And so I went home and I remember like, I'm

1363
01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:05,160
Speaker 2: not going to tell my mom. This is what I

1364
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:07,080
Speaker 2: do talk about with our closeness where I'm not a

1365
01:02:07,120 --> 01:02:11,240
Speaker 2: secrets person in general, don't really I feel like I say,

1366
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:13,120
Speaker 2: if I say this in a public forum, someone's gonna

1367
01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 2: be like, and I found a secret about her. But

1368
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:17,960
Speaker 2: I generally don't. I'm not interesting in this way. I

1369
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:20,200
Speaker 2: don't have any juicy secrets. And so even when I

1370
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:22,880
Speaker 2: go I shot in my pants tie once on the

1371
01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:25,720
Speaker 2: ten Freeway, and I remember going, I'm not telling anyone

1372
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:26,280
Speaker 2: about this.

1373
01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:27,440
Speaker 1: This is crazy.

1374
01:02:27,720 --> 01:02:29,760
Speaker 2: Have gone on stage and told that story to the

1375
01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:32,800
Speaker 2: immediately told someone the next day.

1376
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:34,800
Speaker 3: I was like, I just don't like secrets for me.

1377
01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:39,520
Speaker 1: I love it. I also so I'm with you.

1378
01:02:39,760 --> 01:02:40,000
Speaker 3: You do.

1379
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:43,720
Speaker 2: Of course everyone sits in their pants as an adult.

1380
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:46,600
Speaker 2: Of course you wanted the bathroom. Of Course you didn't

1381
01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:48,840
Speaker 2: intend for that to happen that way, but it happens

1382
01:02:48,840 --> 01:02:50,440
Speaker 2: to the best of us. But I came home from

1383
01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:52,560
Speaker 2: the piercing situation. I remember being like, I'm not going

1384
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:54,120
Speaker 2: to tell my mom. I don't ever, she's never going

1385
01:02:54,160 --> 01:02:55,400
Speaker 2: to see my midri if we don't go to the

1386
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:57,920
Speaker 2: beach together. I'm not walking around with my belly out.

1387
01:02:57,960 --> 01:03:00,200
Speaker 2: She'll never see this. But I literally walk into her room.

1388
01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:02,200
Speaker 2: I knock on her door, walk into her room. I

1389
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:04,720
Speaker 2: did knock. Doors unlocked, but I did knock, and I

1390
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:06,880
Speaker 2: just lift my shirt up while she's like talking to me.

1391
01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:08,000
Speaker 3: We're just talking.

1392
01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:10,160
Speaker 2: I go, look what I did, and she goes, what

1393
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:14,760
Speaker 2: car and she just she has her like it's not

1394
01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:17,040
Speaker 2: even the real meltdown, because I think my mom's cooler

1395
01:03:17,080 --> 01:03:21,040
Speaker 2: than she even she's so conservative in ways, not politically,

1396
01:03:21,960 --> 01:03:25,520
Speaker 2: but she's so conservative ways. But then like doesn't actually care.

1397
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:29,280
Speaker 2: I discover about her and like, even, yeah, she doesn't

1398
01:03:29,320 --> 01:03:31,520
Speaker 2: actually care. Even when I was like, I'm getting a tattoo,

1399
01:03:32,160 --> 01:03:34,560
Speaker 2: and she was like, don't. And I was like, well, Mama,

1400
01:03:34,640 --> 01:03:37,080
Speaker 2: that's my grandmother, her mom, she had them. They were

1401
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:39,800
Speaker 2: tribal though, and she goes, well, they were fashionable in

1402
01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:41,360
Speaker 2: her time, and I go, well, it turns out they're

1403
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:44,760
Speaker 2: fashionable then they are twenty twenty one as well. But

1404
01:03:44,800 --> 01:03:46,640
Speaker 2: I just remember lifting the shirt and I can't even

1405
01:03:46,680 --> 01:03:49,840
Speaker 2: do the impression of what that moment was, but I'm like,

1406
01:03:49,880 --> 01:03:51,840
Speaker 2: it's a woman who's like, why this girl go in

1407
01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:54,200
Speaker 2: get her belly button piers. But I also don't really

1408
01:03:54,240 --> 01:03:56,280
Speaker 2: care because she could be into worse things.

1409
01:03:56,280 --> 01:03:56,560
Speaker 3: Sort of.

1410
01:03:56,960 --> 01:03:58,280
Speaker 1: Really that's amazing.

1411
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:02,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, No, it occurs to me that you must be

1412
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:08,200
Speaker 4: a great partner without like that bone in your body

1413
01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:11,840
Speaker 4: of like being honest, hon ut and upfront.

1414
01:04:12,080 --> 01:04:12,880
Speaker 3: Thank you ty.

1415
01:04:13,160 --> 01:04:16,760
Speaker 2: You know, in my estimation, I certainly try my best

1416
01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:17,880
Speaker 2: to be a good partner.

1417
01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:22,440
Speaker 3: I have not had the greatest luck.

1418
01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:26,840
Speaker 4: But I'm imagining it's probably hard to find a partner

1419
01:04:26,920 --> 01:04:29,200
Speaker 4: who also shares the same trait.

1420
01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:32,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so. I think.

1421
01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:34,560
Speaker 2: I on my way to come do this record with you,

1422
01:04:34,640 --> 01:04:36,880
Speaker 2: I was drop my dog off a daycare, and then

1423
01:04:36,920 --> 01:04:39,440
Speaker 2: I was walking here and again, the mind goes one

1424
01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:42,040
Speaker 2: hundred miles per minute. Right, We've able to established and

1425
01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:44,720
Speaker 2: I'd go, yeah, if you don't like the truth, I

1426
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:46,760
Speaker 2: don't think you would want to date me. I don't

1427
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:49,080
Speaker 2: like if you're not a person who's honest, and you

1428
01:04:49,120 --> 01:04:51,320
Speaker 2: don't like people being honest, I feel like i'd be

1429
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:56,200
Speaker 2: a remarkably unenjoyable person to date. I also think that

1430
01:04:56,800 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 2: a lot of people will say they want an honest partner,

1431
01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:02,400
Speaker 2: but they don't actually, and I'm not honest, like I

1432
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:04,560
Speaker 2: hate your outfit. I'm I don't even that's sure. I

1433
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:06,600
Speaker 2: guess that's honesty, but that's not what I'm talking about.

1434
01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:08,440
Speaker 1: But that's just means.

1435
01:05:08,440 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 3: Such just mean, And you.

1436
01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:11,480
Speaker 2: Have too many opinions. I'm not into people with too

1437
01:05:11,480 --> 01:05:13,040
Speaker 2: many opinions. By the way, I want to say that

1438
01:05:13,040 --> 01:05:15,360
Speaker 2: for the record, hot ish take. Okay, great, Yeah, I'm

1439
01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:17,880
Speaker 2: with you, though, I'll take that all opinions. You don't

1440
01:05:17,880 --> 01:05:20,000
Speaker 2: have to own opinion about everything, pet peeve of mine.

1441
01:05:20,040 --> 01:05:21,680
Speaker 2: I'll just say two one hundred miles per a minute.

1442
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:24,520
Speaker 2: Here is people who point at people's outfits, like with

1443
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:26,120
Speaker 2: their You're at lunch with a friend and they go,

1444
01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:28,040
Speaker 2: look at what that person's wearing. I go, I'm sorry,

1445
01:05:28,040 --> 01:05:30,080
Speaker 2: why do we care? Why do we care what the

1446
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:32,960
Speaker 2: person's wearing? And this is mean and I'm not into it. Yeah,

1447
01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:36,280
Speaker 2: gigantic red flag to me, in friendship, partnership, everything, when

1448
01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:38,400
Speaker 2: people will do that, I go, now, what made you

1449
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:41,040
Speaker 2: stop what you're doing to point to a stranger who

1450
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:44,280
Speaker 2: seems to be enjoying their Wednesday afternoon and go get

1451
01:05:44,280 --> 01:05:45,160
Speaker 2: their weird pants?

1452
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:45,800
Speaker 5: Thank you?

1453
01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:48,560
Speaker 4: Do you agree with me that, Like, especially in the

1454
01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:50,920
Speaker 4: world of comedy, Like the biggest red flag in the

1455
01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:53,280
Speaker 4: world is when the only way that somebody gets her

1456
01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:54,960
Speaker 4: laughs is in that way.

1457
01:05:55,200 --> 01:05:57,480
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, it is in that way, like.

1458
01:05:58,920 --> 01:06:02,600
Speaker 2: And they kill with it gigantic red flag.

1459
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:04,880
Speaker 1: But I always feel like, oh what a big red

1460
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:05,479
Speaker 1: flag that.

1461
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:08,800
Speaker 4: Even if they kill, it's in a way that you

1462
01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:09,680
Speaker 4: don't really admire.

1463
01:06:09,920 --> 01:06:12,520
Speaker 2: Yes, like everyone's laughing and I'm looking at you like

1464
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:13,440
Speaker 2: I see.

1465
01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:15,000
Speaker 3: You and I don't like what I see.

1466
01:06:15,080 --> 01:06:16,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love this.

1467
01:06:16,680 --> 01:06:20,200
Speaker 2: I don't love this, but thank you for the kind compliment.

1468
01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:23,640
Speaker 2: It's funny because I get I'm better about compliments than

1469
01:06:23,640 --> 01:06:26,200
Speaker 2: I ever have been. I would say, let's say, fifteen

1470
01:06:26,240 --> 01:06:29,520
Speaker 2: years ago, but I never want my listeners to feel

1471
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:31,480
Speaker 2: like I'm bringing on my dads for the day to.

1472
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:33,960
Speaker 3: Gass me up and compliment with me. But compliment me.

1473
01:06:34,200 --> 01:06:36,160
Speaker 2: I can't even speak because I'm so uncomfortable. But you

1474
01:06:36,240 --> 01:06:38,480
Speaker 2: guys are all so kind. You all are very very

1475
01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:38,960
Speaker 2: very kind.

1476
01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:39,720
Speaker 3: True thank you.

1477
01:06:39,800 --> 01:06:43,400
Speaker 4: I think that that makes you like an ideal partner

1478
01:06:43,520 --> 01:06:45,520
Speaker 4: and eventual parent.

1479
01:06:45,680 --> 01:06:47,440
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, I can't wait to be a parent.

1480
01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:49,520
Speaker 2: I can because I have a puppy and that has

1481
01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:53,280
Speaker 2: been so much work. And I am hearing all of

1482
01:06:53,280 --> 01:06:55,720
Speaker 2: my dads for the day talk about parenting, and those

1483
01:06:55,760 --> 01:07:00,520
Speaker 2: are just the dads. I'm a little like, that's that's

1484
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:03,840
Speaker 2: the dads, and I would like to carry a child

1485
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:07,240
Speaker 2: for nine months in theory. I say that right now,

1486
01:07:07,520 --> 01:07:10,520
Speaker 2: we'll see some people like pregnancy, some people hate it. Anyway, Ty,

1487
01:07:10,880 --> 01:07:13,720
Speaker 2: you've been an amazing dad for the day. You've been open.

1488
01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:17,840
Speaker 1: I appreciate it.

1489
01:07:18,680 --> 01:07:19,960
Speaker 5: My Zoom, thank you.

1490
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:20,720
Speaker 3: Zoom daughter.

1491
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:23,280
Speaker 2: The people wouldn't have ever known we were on Zoom

1492
01:07:23,320 --> 01:07:25,400
Speaker 2: if you hadn't just I'm kidding.

1493
01:07:25,640 --> 01:07:27,240
Speaker 3: I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

1494
01:07:27,640 --> 01:07:31,160
Speaker 2: I end every episode asking my dad for the day

1495
01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:35,680
Speaker 2: for some advice. Okay, I have a piece, it's coming

1496
01:07:35,680 --> 01:07:37,040
Speaker 2: to me off the top of my head. So kind

1497
01:07:37,040 --> 01:07:38,920
Speaker 2: of what I do is I'll every once in a

1498
01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:40,640
Speaker 2: while come with it ready made.

1499
01:07:41,440 --> 01:07:42,919
Speaker 3: And I kind of have coined the term.

1500
01:07:43,040 --> 01:07:46,040
Speaker 2: I've coined it, meaning I'm decided I've coined it in

1501
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:48,240
Speaker 2: the age of the Internet, and you can say anything.

1502
01:07:48,720 --> 01:07:50,720
Speaker 2: Who's going to assume me if I say I coined

1503
01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:53,200
Speaker 2: this term, because maybe someone else came up with it

1504
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:54,480
Speaker 2: right now, someone's.

1505
01:07:57,200 --> 01:07:59,840
Speaker 3: Right coin.

1506
01:08:01,280 --> 01:08:05,360
Speaker 2: Who coined I've coined in my opinion, dad vice. I'm

1507
01:08:05,360 --> 01:08:11,760
Speaker 2: gonna call this segment dad Vice. Okay, all right, TM trademark. Okay,

1508
01:08:11,800 --> 01:08:15,360
Speaker 2: So I kind of come in something ready made. This

1509
01:08:15,400 --> 01:08:17,040
Speaker 2: is going on in my life. Sometimes I'll listen to

1510
01:08:17,080 --> 01:08:18,439
Speaker 2: a dad talk and I go, oh, he'll be great

1511
01:08:18,479 --> 01:08:20,320
Speaker 2: for this. Sometimes I listen to a dad talk and

1512
01:08:20,360 --> 01:08:21,880
Speaker 2: I go, he'll be way out of his depths on

1513
01:08:21,920 --> 01:08:23,679
Speaker 2: this one, and I can't wait to hear him try

1514
01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:24,200
Speaker 2: to be a dad.

1515
01:08:25,240 --> 01:08:27,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go without a dad my death, but I

1516
01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:27,599
Speaker 1: don't know.

1517
01:08:27,680 --> 01:08:30,559
Speaker 3: Okay. So in dating, I'm your daughter.

1518
01:08:30,760 --> 01:08:33,679
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm your third daughter, your oldest you just found

1519
01:08:33,720 --> 01:08:35,920
Speaker 2: out an hour ago.

1520
01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:40,080
Speaker 1: Oh's exciting. This is all very exciting changing.

1521
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:42,040
Speaker 3: Remember those years when you were smoking weed?

1522
01:08:42,320 --> 01:08:48,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, tis out exactly.

1523
01:08:49,720 --> 01:08:50,519
Speaker 3: Smoking weed. Okay.

1524
01:08:50,600 --> 01:08:54,679
Speaker 2: So in dating, I am trying to discern whether you

1525
01:08:54,720 --> 01:08:58,559
Speaker 2: give someone a second date first if the first date

1526
01:08:58,680 --> 01:09:02,800
Speaker 2: is not bad dad, Okay, And I'm dating men.

1527
01:09:03,160 --> 01:09:05,880
Speaker 3: I'm dating men and say the first date is.

1528
01:09:05,760 --> 01:09:10,160
Speaker 2: Like, meh, it's not bad your dad. My grandfather was

1529
01:09:10,320 --> 01:09:13,160
Speaker 2: a family therapist. And they say that if you have

1530
01:09:13,320 --> 01:09:17,040
Speaker 2: butterflies on a first date, that's such actually a trauma response.

1531
01:09:17,080 --> 01:09:19,320
Speaker 2: It's not like a gool good I really like this person.

1532
01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:21,759
Speaker 2: I don't know how much I agree with that school

1533
01:09:21,800 --> 01:09:23,559
Speaker 2: of thought. I would have to do more of my

1534
01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:26,280
Speaker 2: own research. Yes, I spend too much time on the internet.

1535
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:28,479
Speaker 2: There's a lot of insta therapy going on. I don't

1536
01:09:28,479 --> 01:09:31,000
Speaker 2: know how many of these people are licensed, but they

1537
01:09:31,520 --> 01:09:32,280
Speaker 2: posture in.

1538
01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:34,320
Speaker 3: Such a way that I believe them right right.

1539
01:09:34,800 --> 01:09:37,839
Speaker 2: But they say those butterflies, that's actually a trauma response.

1540
01:09:38,320 --> 01:09:40,320
Speaker 2: And I don't know how much I agree with that,

1541
01:09:40,720 --> 01:09:42,640
Speaker 2: but I'm just gonna throw it out there for you

1542
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:44,800
Speaker 2: in case it's helpful. You might throw it out, you

1543
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:48,760
Speaker 2: might toss it back and burn it. But if I

1544
01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:51,000
Speaker 2: am on a first date and I find it to

1545
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:54,240
Speaker 2: be meh, historically, I would go I don't want to

1546
01:09:54,240 --> 01:09:56,400
Speaker 2: go on a second day with this person. They're totally fine,

1547
01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:58,880
Speaker 2: but I feel nothing towards them. I can't imagine a

1548
01:09:58,880 --> 01:10:03,960
Speaker 2: second date. Make me go, you know what? Actually my

1549
01:10:04,080 --> 01:10:08,679
Speaker 2: question is, Dad, should I be approaching dating that way?

1550
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:11,640
Speaker 2: Should I be giving guys second dates even if on

1551
01:10:11,680 --> 01:10:14,839
Speaker 2: the first one, I'm like, fine, Fine, you weren't terrible

1552
01:10:14,880 --> 01:10:17,200
Speaker 2: and you weren't amazing. Sure you're asking me out again,

1553
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:17,639
Speaker 2: I'll go?

1554
01:10:17,960 --> 01:10:18,479
Speaker 3: Or should I go?

1555
01:10:18,640 --> 01:10:18,720
Speaker 1: No?

1556
01:10:19,120 --> 01:10:21,479
Speaker 3: I trust my gut, this probably isn't going anywhere.

1557
01:10:22,040 --> 01:10:22,360
Speaker 1: Well.

1558
01:10:22,760 --> 01:10:25,040
Speaker 4: First of all, I go, I'm just glad you came

1559
01:10:25,040 --> 01:10:27,880
Speaker 4: to meet with us. You know that I want you

1560
01:10:27,920 --> 01:10:34,960
Speaker 4: to be able to come to me about anything anything. Secondly,

1561
01:10:35,880 --> 01:10:43,080
Speaker 4: is this based in real life outside of this question? Yes, okay,

1562
01:10:43,520 --> 01:10:49,160
Speaker 4: I mean my instinct is no, because I feel like

1563
01:10:49,680 --> 01:10:51,960
Speaker 4: if you didn't come away from this, I mean I

1564
01:10:51,960 --> 01:10:54,519
Speaker 4: could be totally wrong, but my instinct if you didn't

1565
01:10:54,520 --> 01:10:57,000
Speaker 4: come away from this first date with one of like

1566
01:10:57,120 --> 01:11:01,479
Speaker 4: two things, right, like one being just a physical draw

1567
01:11:01,760 --> 01:11:04,800
Speaker 4: to the person, which isn't always you know, the first

1568
01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:07,679
Speaker 4: thing that happens obviously, but the other one would be

1569
01:11:07,720 --> 01:11:10,040
Speaker 4: coming away like really admiring.

1570
01:11:09,520 --> 01:11:11,640
Speaker 1: Them as a person.

1571
01:11:12,200 --> 01:11:15,880
Speaker 4: Like like, well, okay, I'm not attracted to them necessarily,

1572
01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:18,559
Speaker 4: but I really admired them, like I really like the

1573
01:11:18,560 --> 01:11:19,080
Speaker 4: way they.

1574
01:11:18,960 --> 01:11:21,880
Speaker 2: Think, or and is really is really important by the

1575
01:11:21,880 --> 01:11:22,519
Speaker 2: way I think.

1576
01:11:22,600 --> 01:11:24,559
Speaker 1: So Okay, I don't know. I don't know.

1577
01:11:24,640 --> 01:11:27,000
Speaker 4: That's a good question, but I would say, if you

1578
01:11:27,080 --> 01:11:31,439
Speaker 4: were meh about the date, a part of me feels

1579
01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:35,600
Speaker 4: like the reason to do a second you know, there's

1580
01:11:35,680 --> 01:11:39,719
Speaker 4: obviously a third option. Maybe the third option is somebody

1581
01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:44,880
Speaker 4: who you trusts really really well, like a lot is

1582
01:11:44,960 --> 01:11:49,120
Speaker 4: like I know you so well, like this is your mom,

1583
01:11:49,240 --> 01:11:49,760
Speaker 4: or you know.

1584
01:11:49,760 --> 01:11:53,519
Speaker 1: Somebody on the call list, sure, sure, top four, top four.

1585
01:11:53,640 --> 01:11:58,840
Speaker 4: Right, and they know this person equally well and is like,

1586
01:11:59,120 --> 01:12:01,280
Speaker 4: trust me, you got to get a onemore shot.

1587
01:12:01,880 --> 01:12:03,200
Speaker 5: Ah, that might be.

1588
01:12:03,439 --> 01:12:04,759
Speaker 1: That might be the third door.

1589
01:12:05,040 --> 01:12:08,960
Speaker 4: Okay, but I would say to me, right or wrong,

1590
01:12:09,120 --> 01:12:11,000
Speaker 4: I would say, if it wasn't one of those first

1591
01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:14,200
Speaker 4: two categories, or maybe you weren't attracted to them, but

1592
01:12:14,280 --> 01:12:17,760
Speaker 4: they really made you laugh, or they had some like

1593
01:12:18,160 --> 01:12:22,360
Speaker 4: opinions that really surprised you in or it's not opinions

1594
01:12:22,360 --> 01:12:25,880
Speaker 4: even but just thoughts that that really surprised you and

1595
01:12:25,920 --> 01:12:29,200
Speaker 4: you thought, like their original thinker to your mind, or something.

1596
01:12:29,280 --> 01:12:32,560
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, then I would I would say no, that

1597
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:33,400
Speaker 1: would be my thought.

1598
01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:36,559
Speaker 2: That's really helpful, Dad, that's really really helpful.

1599
01:12:36,720 --> 01:12:38,560
Speaker 1: You bad daughter because.

1600
01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:41,439
Speaker 3: You're revert to your daughter.

1601
01:12:41,479 --> 01:12:43,960
Speaker 5: Daughter daughter, daughter.

1602
01:12:44,520 --> 01:12:47,080
Speaker 2: No, you always say great job son. You never go

1603
01:12:47,200 --> 01:12:48,040
Speaker 2: great job daughter.

1604
01:12:48,360 --> 01:12:49,000
Speaker 1: Wow, you're right.

1605
01:12:49,439 --> 01:12:51,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, what is that about?

1606
01:12:52,360 --> 01:12:55,679
Speaker 1: God? I say great job son to my girls. Yeah,

1607
01:12:55,800 --> 01:12:56,599
Speaker 1: great job son.

1608
01:12:57,120 --> 01:12:59,080
Speaker 2: I'm proud of your son. Think about it in a movie.

1609
01:12:59,080 --> 01:13:00,600
Speaker 2: Think about in a movie. You'll go, I'm proud of

1610
01:13:00,600 --> 01:13:00,960
Speaker 2: your son.

1611
01:13:01,240 --> 01:13:03,040
Speaker 1: You're so right, proud of your daughter.

1612
01:13:03,479 --> 01:13:03,719
Speaker 5: Huh.

1613
01:13:03,960 --> 01:13:11,120
Speaker 2: Too many syllables and daughter and that was the patriarchy's fault.

1614
01:13:11,240 --> 01:13:14,320
Speaker 1: Dot dot that sucks. Should son?

1615
01:13:14,400 --> 01:13:18,360
Speaker 2: If son is son is the boy child? Should San

1616
01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:20,320
Speaker 2: be daughter? It should be son?

1617
01:13:20,360 --> 01:13:20,760
Speaker 3: And San.

1618
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:23,559
Speaker 2: I'm proud of you Sam and San's daughter. San kind

1619
01:13:23,560 --> 01:13:24,479
Speaker 2: of short for Sandy.

1620
01:13:24,760 --> 01:13:28,360
Speaker 3: I don't know. We're onto something. I think we're onto something.

1621
01:13:28,680 --> 01:13:31,800
Speaker 2: That's such great advice. Dad, You've been an incredible dad

1622
01:13:31,840 --> 01:13:33,400
Speaker 2: for the day. Thank you so much.

1623
01:13:33,520 --> 01:13:37,200
Speaker 1: You've been an incredible daughter for the day. Ago You're awesome.

1624
01:13:37,240 --> 01:13:41,800
Speaker 1: You really are. You are as thoughtful as you are hilarious.

1625
01:13:41,920 --> 01:13:44,599
Speaker 2: Thank you of taking that to heart. You're incredibly kind.

1626
01:13:44,720 --> 01:13:47,519
Speaker 2: I really appreciate that. I'm going to let that sink in.

1627
01:13:47,680 --> 01:13:50,840
Speaker 2: I will not deflect on that note. I'm gonna go

1628
01:13:51,479 --> 01:13:56,439
Speaker 2: I won't even try to say anything uh cheeky at

1629
01:13:56,439 --> 01:13:58,479
Speaker 2: the end, I'm actually I want to try a thing

1630
01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:00,920
Speaker 2: with my hands are literally up right. Just receive it.

1631
01:14:01,640 --> 01:14:04,639
Speaker 2: Just receive it. Thank you, Ty, You're I'm so grateful

1632
01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:05,960
Speaker 2: that you did this. It means a lot to.

1633
01:14:06,120 --> 01:14:07,720
Speaker 1: Thank really fun.

1634
01:14:10,080 --> 01:14:13,479
Speaker 2: Thanks Dad is a headgum podcast created and hosted by

1635
01:14:13,560 --> 01:14:16,599
Speaker 2: me Igo Odem. This show is engineered by Rochelle Chen

1636
01:14:16,720 --> 01:14:20,720
Speaker 2: and Anya Kanovskaya and edited by Rochelle Chen with executive

1637
01:14:20,760 --> 01:14:22,040
Speaker 2: producer Emma Foley.

1638
01:14:22,400 --> 01:14:25,360
Speaker 3: Katie Moose is our VP of Content at Headgum.

1639
01:14:25,400 --> 01:14:28,639
Speaker 2: Thanks to Jason Matheni for our show art and Faris

1640
01:14:28,720 --> 01:14:32,080
Speaker 2: Monshi for our theme song. For more podcasts by Headgum,

1641
01:14:32,439 --> 01:14:34,960
Speaker 2: visit headgum dot com or wherever you listen to your

1642
01:14:34,960 --> 01:14:39,200
Speaker 2: favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, and maybe,

1643
01:14:39,280 --> 01:14:42,280
Speaker 2: just maybe we'll read it on a future episode

1644
01:14:45,439 --> 01:14:46,880
Speaker 3: That was a hit Gum podcast