WEBVTT - Betrayal Weekly: EP 13 - Dr. Kerry, Part 2 0:00:01.560 --> 0:00:03.600 And then I leaned forward and a whispered to him. 0:00:04.000 --> 0:00:06.000 I used to think that you were a good guy 0:00:06.360 --> 0:00:10.000 who sometimes wore a monster mask. But what I realized 0:00:10.000 --> 0:00:13.280 that you're actually a monster who sometimes wears a good 0:00:13.320 --> 0:00:18.200 guy mask. He goes absolutely white, and he starts a sweat, 0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:21.599 and he whispers, I'm glad you know. 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:37.800 I'm Andrea Gunning. And this is Betrayal, A show about 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:41.199 the people we trust the most and the deceptions that 0:00:41.360 --> 0:00:48.920 change everything. After the death of her husband, Brad, Carrie 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:52.559 McAvoy retired early from her career as a clinical psychologist 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:55.680 at the age of fifty one, she started a whirlwind 0:00:55.720 --> 0:00:59.640 relationship with Caesar. He showered her with affection and brought 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:02.880 her into his Mexican culture. It would be a second 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:06.840 marriage that promised adventure and expanded her horizons. With all 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:09.520 three of her sons grown, she and Caesar decided to 0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:12.880 start a new life together in Mexico, so she sold 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:15.240 her house in the US and packed her bags. 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:19.959 You're basically consolidating a whole life, accumulated of all my 0:01:20.040 --> 0:01:23.080 adult life down to a few like we took ten 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:24.759 pieces of luggage. That's it. 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:27.720 They planned to make a living down there, by renting 0:01:27.800 --> 0:01:32.160 vacation properties in the Yucatan Peninsula, Crystal blue waters, white 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:35.520 sand beaches. It was the life Brad wanted for her. 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:38.120 I felt like I was trying to build on the 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:40.039 best I had with bread, but make it better. 0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:43.360 She and Caesar became fifty to fifty owners in their 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:47.720 new business and bought four rental properties together, all bankrolled 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:48.480 by Carrie. 0:01:49.440 --> 0:01:52.120 So the value of Brad's life insurance has now been 0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:53.320 spent on properties. 0:01:54.000 --> 0:01:57.800 But the week before their wedding, Caesar made a shocking disclosure. 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:01.000 He starts to cry, and he says, it just hit 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:02.880 me because we're going to get married five days that 0:02:02.920 --> 0:02:07.440 I'm still married. We can't get married this week. And 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:08.360 I said what. 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:14.359 Caesar had an explanation, and. 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:17.919 He said that last marriage was so bad, so contentious, 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:20.400 that when I got out, I literally put it behind 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:23.080 me and I forgot I'm married to her. I never 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:26.640 finalized it. Even though we've not been living together for 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:28.760 two years. I'm not divorced. 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:33.880 Caesar's last marriage was a rollercoaster. When he finally ended things, 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:36.360 she literally refused to let him go. 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:40.000 They described how she had clung to his feet as 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:42.480 he tried to get out of the house and he 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:44.840 said it was really traumatic, and he just put it 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:50.280 behind him. I've repressed stuff, I forgot stuff. I can 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:52.840 see how that can happen, But I'm not going to 0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:54.800 be intimate with somebody who's married. Now that I know, 0:02:55.480 --> 0:03:03.720 I'm horrified, like speechless and feel so humiliated. I don't 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:06.120 even know what to say. This puts it in a 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:06.959 different category. 0:03:08.720 --> 0:03:12.959 But she had already invested so much emotionally and financially 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:15.760 in this new life with him, too much to let 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:19.800 one piece of paper derail their plans. Plus, he was 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:22.200 adamant that he would get it sorted out and they'd 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:25.480 be able to get married the following month. So reluctantly 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:26.720 Carrie let it go. 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:30.600 We got up and had a nice next day together 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:32.359 and sort of moved on. 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:36.760 And his divorce did go through A month later. After that, 0:03:37.120 --> 0:03:39.440 he and Carrie officially tied the knot. 0:03:40.160 --> 0:03:43.240 So get married. It's a beautiful wedding, and then we 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:44.200 plan a honeymoon. 0:03:44.200 --> 0:03:47.640 A month later, In a nod to Brad's legacy, she 0:03:47.760 --> 0:03:51.160 and Caesar went to Jamaica for their honeymoon. They stayed 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:53.320 in a new part of the island. It was a 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:56.520 full circle moment for Carrie, a reminder of how far 0:03:56.600 --> 0:03:59.640 she'd come in the two years since Brad passed away. 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:03.840 We get to Jamaica, we check in and that night 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:06.360 we have a great dinner together, kind of romantic, and 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:09.000 we're walking back to the hotel room and I'm excited 0:04:09.040 --> 0:04:12.480 because I bought something special. We get into the room, 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:14.960 he flops down on the bed and I go into 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:17.159 the bathroom to change into something sexy. 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:20.640 Starting with night one, their honeymoon did not go to plan. 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:24.719 I hear the TV turn on, and I'm thinking, what's 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:28.160 a little weird. It's not really the focus of the 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:31.000 honeymoon night. And I come out and I pose in 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:33.400 front of the TV, you know, sort of like I'm 0:04:33.440 --> 0:04:37.080 better looking than the TV. And he actually almost cranes 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:41.480 his neck around me, and I'm stunned. I can't believe 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:45.839 that he did that. And I'm now feeling underdressed, overexposed, 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:48.640 and just I can feel the goosebumps raising on my 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:52.080 body from the chill. He says, just come up next 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:54.040 to me. He passed the bed, Come up next to me. 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:57.839 I want to watch this, okay, So I do, and 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:01.039 I'm tired. It's been a long day, try level and 0:05:01.160 --> 0:05:03.600 I doze off and I don't even remember falling asleep, 0:05:03.600 --> 0:05:06.640 but I fall asleep and I come to and I 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:08.800 can't tell how much time has passed, but the TV 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:13.000 is still playing and he's on his phone. I find 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:15.400 that kind of odd, and I'm curious to why he's 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:17.640 so interested in on his phone. And as I'm trying 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:19.680 to like crane my neck without really letting him know 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:24.160 that I'm awake, I see that he's watching something. And 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:26.280 at first my eyes is really blurry because I'm just 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:29.760 waking up. And then i can tell he's watching pornography. 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:34.560 And I'm thinking, okay, you opted out of having a 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:39.560 moment with me to watch pornography. That is soul crushing. 0:05:41.480 --> 0:05:44.479 Early on in their relationship, she asked Caesar if he 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:49.920 watched pornography. He told her he didn't. Now on their honeymoon, 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:53.920 she saw that he did. She observed him for another moment. 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:57.600 Caesar is still not noticing that she had woken up. 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:01.640 And while I'm watching him watch, there's a text that 0:06:01.680 --> 0:06:05.680 comes in and he opens the textbox and he responds, 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:07.960 and then he looks for a photo. He sends a 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:11.000 quick photo of himself. Then she sends a photo back 0:06:11.040 --> 0:06:13.920 of her I mean, they're just like normal photos. There 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:16.240 wasn't like sexting. But on the other hand, I'm thinking 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:20.039 my new husband is sending a photo of himself to 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:23.080 another woman. Yeah, no, you don't do that. 0:06:23.960 --> 0:06:28.680 Even though they were just selfies, it felt strange, and 0:06:28.839 --> 0:06:31.280 he was sending them to a woman she'd never heard 0:06:31.320 --> 0:06:31.880 of before. 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:37.320 So I make like I'm waking up. He then plays along, Oh, 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:40.160 it's so wonderful you're awake. Oh, I love you so much, 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:42.680 And instead of like pulling me into it, embrace to 0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:46.280 kiss me, pull me into something intimate. He starts to 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:49.520 touch me like he's doing something to me, but we're 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:52.640 not doing it really together. And this just on the 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:56.080 tails of what I just saw, feels awful, like the 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:58.360 last thing I want to be doing. So I feel 0:06:58.400 --> 0:07:00.440 like I was like trying to scoot away from him, 0:07:00.560 --> 0:07:02.400 and I just said the same thing that he said 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:04.600 to me, is come sit next to me. I'm really tired. 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:07.479 Let's just sleep tonight. It's been a lot, it's a 0:07:07.520 --> 0:07:09.920 long day. So he does, we fall asleep. 0:07:10.600 --> 0:07:13.600 But Carrie did not fall asleep. It was the first 0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:17.560 night of their honeymoon and She was lying awake, staring 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:18.680 at the ceiling. 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:23.400 Feeling really hurt and shocked, like there needs to be 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:26.320 limits in this relationship and that's not an okay kind 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:27.000 of relationship. 0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:30.880 She decided to address what she'd seen over dinner. 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:33.160 I said, hey, I noticed you're on your phone, and 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:35.520 I noticed you're watching a video. And then also you're 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:37.880 texting some woman and you send her a photo of yourself. 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:39.480 I'm not okay with that. 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:42.520 Then Caesar became very quiet. 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:48.040 He just kind of stays stiff, like, not okay. We 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:51.400 have dinner, we're not really talking. And when we walked 0:07:51.400 --> 0:07:53.760 back to our hotel room, he stopped and he stood 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:55.520 in the doorway and he says, I'm going to be 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:58.720 heading out. I'll be back in a couple hours. He 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:01.440 turns around. The door shut. So I watched the door shut, 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:05.960 and I'm aghast, like mouth dropped, shocked, and I think 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:10.440 to myself, this is punishment. He's punishing me. 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:14.200 She spent the next few hours pacing the hotel room, 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:17.920 hoping she was wrong, hoping he just needed time to 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:18.520 cool off. 0:08:19.200 --> 0:08:21.800 He comes in a couple hours later, and I'm tense. 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:23.920 I'm like, I have no idea what mindset he's going 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:25.960 to be in and he goes, hey, let's go out 0:08:25.960 --> 0:08:29.920 to the pool. Let's go swimming. I said, okay, and 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:31.840 he holds my hand as we walk to the pool 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:34.240 and we get out there. He says, look at the sky. 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:36.840 The moon's out tonight. Remember the night I got engaged 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:39.360 with you. The moon's out that night. And he says, 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:43.480 couples shouldn't fight. And you're right, I shouldn't have that 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:47.120 kind of relationship with a woman. That's inappropriate. I'm really sorry. 0:08:47.679 --> 0:08:49.440 Why don't we put the phones away for the rest 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:53.680 of the trip and just focus on us? And I 0:08:53.760 --> 0:08:56.000 start to cry and I feel, oh, he gets it. 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:58.320 We're on the same page. This is going to be good. 0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:00.560 We make a big deal the next day putting the away. 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:03.359 The next seven eight days are great. 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:08.360 Until the last day of the honeymoon. It was four 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:11.960 am and Carrie woke up to a notification on her phone. 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:14.720 I can see on my phone that there's a text 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:18.880 message from a stranger from a woman, and she writes, 0:09:19.760 --> 0:09:23.559 so you're married to Caesar. I guess the joke's just 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:27.120 not on me, it's on you too. I've been dating 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:30.280 it for the past three months. Then she proceeds to 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:34.120 start to describe, is that your sunglass case in the car? 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:37.839 It's floral? Are you the person that called him at 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:41.920 three am in the morning a few months ago? Because 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:44.120 I was with him, I was in bed beside him. 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:48.040 That was her sunglasses case. And they were in a 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:51.520 long distance relationship before this, and Carrie knew she had 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:55.280 called him late sometimes. With Caesar asleep next to her, 0:09:55.559 --> 0:09:59.160 she began to panic, was this woman telling the truth? 0:10:02.960 --> 0:10:07.400 As I'm laying there, I literally had the flash. I 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:12.520 don't know him, He's a stranger. I went into the 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:16.800 bathroom and my body just dumped. It was sick. I 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:21.320 was sick. What do I do? My house is sold, 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:24.640 my car is gone. I have property now in Mexico 0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:28.760 that expects me to open. I'm mid visa process. I 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:31.400 have to finish this or I lose all that effort. 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:36.559 And I'm literally in transition as if I'm a wire artist, 0:10:36.760 --> 0:10:39.040 and I let go of one wire and I'm jumping 0:10:39.040 --> 0:10:42.040 to the next, and I'm trying to grab and I'm midjump, 0:10:42.240 --> 0:10:44.800 and I'm realizing everything that I thought I was building 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:46.720 on didn't exist. 0:10:47.120 --> 0:10:50.640 She shook her new husband awake and showed him the messages. 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:53.679 I say to Caesar, Caesar, Caesar, A woman wrote me. 0:10:53.720 --> 0:10:57.760 She says, she knows you. His first reaction was stop 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:01.840 reading that. Stop reading that. And my thought was, you know, 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:09.440 you know her, you know what I'm talking about. I 0:11:09.520 --> 0:11:13.320 fled the room. I split for the ocean and went 0:11:13.400 --> 0:11:16.880 down to the sand and I start circling, literally circling. 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:19.920 It was early, like six am, six thirty, and there 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:22.000 was a runner who run past me. I much look 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:24.560 like a crazy woman, like I don't know what to do. 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:28.559 I'm midjump, I'm in transition. I have no home in 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:31.120 the United States. I don't know what to do here. 0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:37.160 So she called a close friend who, like her, also 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:38.720 worked in mental health. 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:41.560 And she says, Carrie, I think he's traumatized. I think 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:43.920 there's something else going on. I really suggest that you 0:11:44.000 --> 0:11:46.360 go back and talk to him. I'm thinking, okay, she 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:48.600 knows him. In fact, she's the person that married us. 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:51.800 Maybe there's something more here. Plus she's a therapist. So 0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:54.080 I go back in and I get into the room 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:57.920 and he's standing there, white shaking, and he just looked 0:11:57.920 --> 0:11:59.600 at me and he said, I just wanted to know 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:01.880 what a felt like to have an affair, and then 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:04.640 he said, you know, I have problems because I've told 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:06.480 you that I've came from a troubled home and that 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:08.600 there have been issues. And I don't know why I 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:09.840 did it. I know it was dumb, but I don't 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:10.679 know why I did that. 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:15.560 Then he asked for her help. He felt like his 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:20.040 behavior was out of control and needed professional support. In fact, 0:12:20.320 --> 0:12:23.880 he had asked his ex wives for their help too. 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:25.440 And they didn't believe me. They laughed at me. 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:30.520 If anyone could help him, it was Carrie. She believed 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:31.160 in recovery. 0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:34.840 I also, as a psychologist, really believed in the capacity 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:37.960 of people to change. Why would I spend my whole 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:40.280 life doing what I did if I didn't believe people 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:43.400 could actually have a conversion experience. 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:50.120 As soon as the honeymoon ended, Carrie started looking for 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:54.320 a psychologist, a specialist who could help with trauma, infidelity, 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:57.480 and deception. And she got them an appointment the very 0:12:57.480 --> 0:12:57.960 next day. 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:01.880 And she sees us. She says, Carrie, these issues are 0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:07.199 really big. He needs residential care and I'm thinking residential 0:13:07.280 --> 0:13:11.680 care or moving. Plus who's going to pay for that? 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:15.880 This is not covered by insurance? And he needs months 0:13:16.400 --> 0:13:18.360 I've worked in the system. I know how much it 0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:21.080 costs for psychiatric care. This is going to add up 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:24.800 to probably close to one hundred thousand dollars in treatment costs. 0:13:25.600 --> 0:13:28.800 Instead of long term residential care. They planned for a 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:32.319 three day intensive program for couples and crisis and they 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:33.280 flew there right away. 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:37.199 So we walk into the intensive program and it was 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:40.960 built on accountability model. The focus is more of what 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:43.200 are you going to do? What's the reality of your situation? 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:45.040 Do you have a plan in place? They're trying to 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:46.280 help us really think this through. 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:49.560 Although the program was meant for couples to attend together, 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:54.000 where both individuals or promise treatment and support, Carrie felt 0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:56.360 like her pain wasn't being seen. 0:13:57.720 --> 0:14:00.640 But we go through the three days and it becomes 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:04.360 really clear to me that I'm invisible here. This treatment's 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:07.199 about him, and yet I feel like my whole world's 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:14.600 been torn apart, that I've been shattered. There's two people here. Yes, 0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:17.360 he was the one who acted out, but I'm the 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:21.360 one who's suffering the consequences. What about me? 0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:25.960 Caesar left the program feeling clear headed and committed to Carrie. 0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:29.800 He had an accountability plan and an outpatient counselor to 0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:33.520 check in with him every week, but Carrie felt more 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:34.560 confused than ever. 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:37.520 We walk out of the program after three days, and 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:40.120 I feel like, well, he has a better direction, he 0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:44.360 seems helped, But I'm now more scared than ever, and 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:47.360 I'm going into a country that I don't think has 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:50.480 this kind of care available. All I know is now 0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:52.480 I don't know how much. I don't know, because if 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:55.040 that's what they did, tell me, this is like a problem, 0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:57.440 like an iceberg. You just saw a tip, but you 0:14:57.440 --> 0:14:59.520 don't know how deep this goes or how big this is. 0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:01.960 So all that you did for me is to let 0:15:02.000 --> 0:15:04.360 me know there's a whole lot more to this that 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:07.440 you don't know, and I don't know what to do. 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:09.800 I'm in a mid leap and I don't know what 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:10.240 I'm in for. 0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:30.760 After leaving the three day treatment program, Carrie and Caesar 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:33.400 continued with their plan to move into a new apartment 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:36.480 imply a Del Carmen and get their business off the ground. 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:39.520 We move into our first apartment and we furnish it. 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:43.680 We're watching the construction of the next two and trying 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:45.880 to get the business going, you know, get our properties 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:46.920 listed on Airbnb. 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:52.160 Besides starting their business, their main priority was continuing Caesar's treatment, 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:54.320 and it seemed to be working for him. 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:57.320 In that period of time. It actually gets good, it 0:15:57.360 --> 0:16:00.640 gets quiet. You know, he's working a program. He does 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:03.480 his weekly thing. I do my weekly thing. It feels 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:06.120 like a partnership. We're buying furs together, we're setting up 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:08.720 a house, kids are coming in for Christmas. 0:16:09.440 --> 0:16:12.920 With Caesar's commitment to recovery, Carrie felt validated in her 0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:15.800 decision to give him another chance and get him help. 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:20.400 He was really trying. Their life in Mexico was finally 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:23.280 coming together. At night, they would go up to their 0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:26.000 penthouse roof and look at the stars. 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:29.720 And the stars are out and there's actually even falling stars, 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:32.960 and we're talking to each other and kissing each other 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:35.240 and talking about how beautiful this is. And had like 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:38.800 a little blanket on that platio, just really really lovely. 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:44.200 After a few months, their business started to take off. 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:47.480 The properties are now coming online. The business is off 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:50.600 to a good start, and I feel really optimistic about 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:51.160 all of this. 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:54.120 But their relationship on the men, they were proving to 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:58.200 be strong business partners. They settled into a daily routine. 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:00.000 He would set the alarm super early in the morning. 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:03.040 Then we would read something together, talk to each other, 0:17:03.320 --> 0:17:06.440 and then we'd get dressed and get going for our day. 0:17:06.560 --> 0:17:09.520 We'd run from appointment to appointment. But there's another half 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:11.280 of the company that had to be run, and that 0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:14.800 is the customer end, who's making all the emails and 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:18.040 it's corresponding with guests. So I'd manage that at night, 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:20.880 and then we'd do all the businesses together in the day. 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:24.280 So basically I was like doing two jobs one day. 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:27.600 While running around town to manage the properties. 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:31.000 I start to suddenly vomit. I mean like I'm throwing 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:34.840 up saliva, and it's really strange. I'd never seen anything 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:38.439 like it before. He calmly hands me a grocery bag 0:17:38.640 --> 0:17:42.040 to vomit in, and then we never talk about it again, 0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:44.000 and we just went on for the rest of the day. 0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:49.720 And then she began noticing other symptoms. 0:17:50.160 --> 0:17:53.360 I have really severe diarrhea, real strange diarrhea that I'd 0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:58.159 never seen before. It's water, it's clear water. It frightens 0:17:58.200 --> 0:18:01.840 me because I've never seen this before. And I had 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:04.439 white lines, like you hit your fingernails as a hammer. 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:07.479 I was searching for what causes white lines across all 0:18:07.520 --> 0:18:10.040 the fingernails. They're called nasee lines. 0:18:10.480 --> 0:18:11.960 And it only got worse. 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:16.200 My toenails were falling off, and my yearine was now 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:18.520 dark like tea and frothing. 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:21.399 So they went to the er. 0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:24.159 They take one look at me, and they hospitalized me. 0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:28.960 And while I'm admitted, the nurse comes up and says, 0:18:28.960 --> 0:18:31.840 you don't understand. You're super ill. Your white count is 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:35.720 extraordinarily high, but we can't find the infection. You're very, 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:39.240 very sick. You don't understand how sick you are. Caesar 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:40.919 comes in that night to sit next to me, and 0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:42.800 he sits there and he goes. I realized something today. 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:44.520 I realized if something were to happen to you, I 0:18:44.520 --> 0:18:49.720 would really miss you. That's a weird thing to say. 0:18:51.600 --> 0:18:54.720 After a few nights in the hospital with ivy antibiotics, 0:18:55.080 --> 0:18:58.560 Carrie was feeling better. The doctors ran dozens of tests, 0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:03.280 but ultimately couldn't figure out what was causing Carrie's symptoms. 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:06.239 But I get discharged and we continue to kind of 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:09.520 do normal business, you know, running day to day life. 0:19:10.080 --> 0:19:14.520 Caesar thought Carrie's sudden illness could be stress related. After all, 0:19:14.840 --> 0:19:18.720 she'd had an incredibly busy year, so they decided to 0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:22.159 go on a weekend get away to relax and reconnect 0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:22.720 with each other. 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:26.399 So we go to this resort for Thanksgiving weekend, and 0:19:26.680 --> 0:19:28.560 the first night we get there, he heads in for 0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:30.679 a shower and while he does it, he leaves his 0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:34.280 phone on the table. I don't know why, but I 0:19:34.320 --> 0:19:36.800 picked up his phone and snoop for the first time 0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:37.440 in my life. 0:19:37.920 --> 0:19:41.520 She didn't find anything concerning in his photos or texts, 0:19:42.600 --> 0:19:45.040 but then she opened his email. 0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:49.960 This is the first I really heard of Maria. 0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:53.960 Earlier that day, he'd written a long email to this woman. 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:56.840 It sounded like she was an old flame. 0:19:57.840 --> 0:19:59.520 So I go rush into the bathroom to use it 0:19:59.560 --> 0:20:02.400 for he used to read the email, and I opened 0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:06.600 the email. He says this marriage is a prison, and 0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:08.840 he's talking about missing her. 0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:12.600 He told Carrie he wasn't talking to any other women, 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:16.680 that the help he was getting was really working. What 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:19.680 did he mean this marriage was a prison. She'd been 0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:23.199 working so hard to hold it together. She sent herself 0:20:23.200 --> 0:20:24.960 a copy and then. 0:20:25.560 --> 0:20:27.760 I send it to our counselor that we saw at 0:20:27.760 --> 0:20:30.480 the intensive and say we need an immediate appointment. He's 0:20:30.560 --> 0:20:33.920 breached his contract with me, and he said he wasn't 0:20:33.960 --> 0:20:38.080 doing this. So we have a therapy appointment with our 0:20:38.200 --> 0:20:43.520 therapist and he confronts Caesar about this, and Caesar doesn't 0:20:43.520 --> 0:20:45.919 really have a good excuse. I was just dumb, I 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:48.760 was reminiscent. I was feeling nostalgic. 0:20:49.400 --> 0:20:52.119 He said he'd been missing his ex Maria and that 0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:54.280 they once spent time at the same beach. 0:20:55.040 --> 0:20:56.680 He said, I thought of her and I reached out 0:20:56.760 --> 0:20:58.240 or I shouldn't have. I know. It was really bad. 0:20:58.760 --> 0:21:00.639 And then the therapist turns to me and says, so, 0:21:00.680 --> 0:21:03.200 what are you going to do about this? What's your consequence? 0:21:03.240 --> 0:21:04.960 We talked about this. You need to have a consequence, 0:21:04.960 --> 0:21:10.360 and I'm thinking, what do you mean. I can't kick 0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:14.480 him out. I'm in another country, We're starting this business up, 0:21:14.560 --> 0:21:17.880 things are in construction. I depend on him. I can't 0:21:17.960 --> 0:21:19.399 run a business without him. 0:21:19.720 --> 0:21:22.640 So instead of a consequence, she opted for a solution. 0:21:24.359 --> 0:21:26.840 So we both get into therapy. That's my solution. He 0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:29.439 starts to see a therapist. 0:21:28.920 --> 0:21:31.280 But that didn't quell her anxiety. 0:21:31.440 --> 0:21:34.679 And I'm starting to feel increasingly paranoid, enough so that 0:21:34.800 --> 0:21:37.280 I'm now like trying to break into his phone. Or 0:21:37.359 --> 0:21:40.120 I'm now looking for a second phone. It's weird. I'm 0:21:40.160 --> 0:21:43.160 like feeling crazy, and while all this is happening, he's 0:21:43.240 --> 0:21:46.600 just getting harder to reach, feeling really distant to me. 0:21:47.680 --> 0:21:50.959 He told Carrie he was going to his regular therapy appointments, 0:21:51.160 --> 0:21:52.480 but then she found. 0:21:52.280 --> 0:21:56.119