WEBVTT - Planning A Wedding Without Going Broke #063 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.120 Welcome to How to Money. I'm Joel and I am Matt, 0:00:03.320 --> 0:00:06.840 and today we're discussing planning a wedding without going broke. 0:00:26.320 --> 0:00:30.400 Today we are talking about weddings, everything from venues and 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:32.760 the number of guests that are gonna be at your 0:00:32.760 --> 0:00:35.960 wedding all the way down to things like flowers. And you, 0:00:36.040 --> 0:00:38.000 my friend, have been to more weddings than anybody else. 0:00:38.040 --> 0:00:40.760 I know. I know weddings, that's for sure, being a 0:00:40.760 --> 0:00:43.440 wedding photographer. But how long have you and Emily been 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:45.440 married now? Man? Yeah, so we've been married just over 0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:48.480 eight years. And you guys double digits right, Yeah, Oh, dude, 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.240 more than double digits. We're hitting twelve this year. Twelve 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:54.720 years man, that's that's amazing. Yeah, that's pretty crazy, right, congrats, 0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:57.959 what's up? Yeah, if only we knew some of what 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:01.640 we know now about wedding and ways to save money. 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:05.000 We definitely did our wedding on a budget. But there's 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:07.280 certainly some of these tips here that we didn't take 0:01:07.319 --> 0:01:10.280 advantage of back when I was a youngster. But yeah, 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:13.080 we're looking forward to sharing these with our listeners today. Well, 0:01:13.160 --> 0:01:15.319 one quick money saving tip, Matt, before we get straight 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:17.480 into the weddings. I wanted to let people know that 0:01:17.840 --> 0:01:20.759 the Sift app that we mentioned in our lesser known 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:24.240 credit card benefits episode, just saving another ten bucks. I 0:01:24.240 --> 0:01:26.880 love how this app working in the background. It's just 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:28.840 kind of lurking trying to save you some money. And 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:32.360 so I have a particular card that has price protection 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:34.400 on it, and I know a lot of credit card 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:37.360 issuers have recently dropped price protection. So you might have 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:39.759 had a card that used to have price protection, and 0:01:39.920 --> 0:01:41.640 you know what, as of the first of the year 0:01:41.800 --> 0:01:44.600 or last summer, it might not have that anymore. So 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:46.920 you'll want to double check and see which credit cards 0:01:46.959 --> 0:01:49.440 you have in your wallet actually have price protection. Which 0:01:49.440 --> 0:01:53.080 one is that, by the way, the City Costco card. Yep, 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:55.160 that's the one I use. So I still can't get 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:57.720 on board with joining Costco. Man, it's just so far away. 0:01:57.720 --> 0:01:59.280 All right, we're gonna have to do a whole episode. 0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:01.280 I think about Big Box. Do you want to do it, 0:02:01.360 --> 0:02:03.200 Let's do it. Let's do it soon, all right. But 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:05.480 to anybody that doesn't have the Sift app, will with 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:07.680 a link to it in the show notes. It's really 0:02:07.800 --> 0:02:10.320 nice how it just works in the background, and it's 0:02:10.360 --> 0:02:13.119 something that I would have never thought to even look 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:14.880 at it. There. It was these gutter guards that I 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:17.880 bought from Costco, and I saved an additional ten bucks 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:20.839 just because Sift was looking for me. I never would 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:23.560 have looked for myself. So yeah, just an awesome money 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:26.160 saving win right there. Okay, so you're talking about gutter guards, 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:27.840 like the things that go on top of your gutter 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:30.560 to keep the leaf the leaves out right exactly. Okay, 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:32.240 I don't want to be cleaning the leaves out all 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:34.040 the time. No, that's fine. It took me you said 0:02:34.080 --> 0:02:37.320 gutter guards, and I was like, what is he talking about? Context? 0:02:37.360 --> 0:02:40.040 I need some context. That's all. Sorry about that. I'll 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:41.840 go ahead and introduce our beer for today. Man. It 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:44.240 is called Juice Back and it is a double dry 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:47.239 hot pale ale and this is out of Texas from 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:51.399 TUPS Brewery. This is another beer from Jake and Jake, 0:02:51.480 --> 0:02:53.040 we want to thank you so much for sending us 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:55.200 a couple of delicious beers that we're having back to back. 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:57.440 We had that first one on Monday's episode, and yeah, 0:02:57.520 --> 0:02:59.360 looking forward to this one today and we'll let you 0:02:59.400 --> 0:03:01.240 know what we think about this spear at the end 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:03.400 of the episode. But for now, on to the topic 0:03:03.400 --> 0:03:08.160 at hand. Weddings are expensive and weddings are super personal. 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:11.360 Nobody wants to be told how to do their wedding. Yeah, 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:13.639 sort of like that episode we just did on teaching 0:03:13.680 --> 0:03:17.720 your children about money. Nobody wants us telling them how 0:03:17.760 --> 0:03:20.320 to raise their kids, but hopefully we did cover some 0:03:20.360 --> 0:03:22.800 tips that were helpful. We're gonna step in again, and 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:25.280 it's weddings this time, because no one wants to be 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:27.919 told how to wedding either, right uh. And and some 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:30.560 girls and and some boys too have dreamed about their 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:32.720 weddings since they were little kids, and it can be 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:35.360 hard to kind of part with those years of dreams 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:38.600 that you've had growing up into a reality that includes 0:03:38.640 --> 0:03:41.680 a strict budget. But just like everything in life, you know, Matt, 0:03:41.720 --> 0:03:43.840 I think we think there is a sweet spot. And 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:47.280 studies reveal the same thing that the happiest couples don't 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:50.120 spend more than on their wedding. And that's at the 0:03:50.160 --> 0:03:52.120 same time where the average price of a wedding costs 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:54.360 over thirty thou dollars. So it just sounds like the 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:58.160 happiest couple is just like getting a discount exactly. They're 0:03:58.160 --> 0:03:59.800 a little bit frugal, right, Yeah, they want to live 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:02.880 like a little differently off of anything. You're pretty happy, right, 0:04:03.200 --> 0:04:05.240 And it's almost like the same studies to talk about 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:08.240 what average income in the United States equates to happiness, 0:04:08.520 --> 0:04:11.640 and typically most studies say that it's right around seventy 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:14.040 thou dollars and if you earn much more than that 0:04:14.040 --> 0:04:17.160 that it doesn't really make you appreciably more happy. Well, 0:04:17.200 --> 0:04:19.360 the same thing when it comes to weddings, actually spending 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:22.760 more than on your wedding will in all likelihood make 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:24.840 you less happy if you put too much pressure on 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:27.280 the day and spend too much money on this one 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:30.360 special day trying to blow it out. Sadly, the chances 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:32.880 of divorce go up in tandem with how much more 0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:36.719 you spend over that amount. So luckily for us today, Jill, 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:38.680 I have a good amount of experience when it comes 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:41.600 to weddings. I've shot weddings for over ten years now, 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:44.760 over three d weddings. Can you believe that that's incredible? Dude, 0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:48.960 that's a lot um and everything from like smaller backyard 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:52.800 brunch weddings too, like super high end weddings that costs 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:55.359 like two to three thousand dollars. You ever shot one 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:57.039 on like a yacht? No, I've never shot a wedding 0:04:57.040 --> 0:04:58.720 on a yacht, but I have a shot before on 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:01.680 acadam Ran. They had a happy hour at sunset on 0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:04.440 a giant catamar Ran. That's pretty cool, too, pretty dope, right, 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:08.400 But honestly, I love weddings. Like people talk about how 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:10.600 it's something that like, oh, you get tired of them. 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:12.120 I don't really get tired of him. I think they're 0:05:12.160 --> 0:05:14.640 a ton of fun and honestly, the ones I enjoyed 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:16.840 the most though as a photographer are the weddings where 0:05:16.839 --> 0:05:18.520 they tend to be relaxed and you know they're having 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:22.119 a good time. And that's honestly when they're not overspending 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:25.359 and instead they're focusing on putting their money towards the 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:27.400 things that matter to them, to the things that they 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:30.400 actually value, because deep down, I think they truly know 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:33.240 that there money is being well spent. They thought it 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:35.599 through and they know that, Okay, this is awesome, this 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:39.000 is awesome, this is awesome, and they're not getting sucked 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:42.200 into the overspending and feeling like that they have to 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:45.560 do things just because somebody mentioned it in some wedding magazine. Yeah, 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:47.560 so if you've listened to our show for very long, 0:05:47.640 --> 0:05:49.719 you know probably that we're not going to recommend getting 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:52.800 married on a yacht or necessarily even a catamar ran. Right, 0:05:52.800 --> 0:05:55.120 but I don't know. Happy our on academ ran sounds 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:57.240 awesome and does that does sound pretty nice? If you 0:05:57.240 --> 0:06:00.000 were there, you would have liked it, I'm sure, I'm sure. 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:02.279 And we're also going to recommend that you don't completely 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:05.160 cheap out, because if you go that route, you could 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:08.240 have major regrets. Because a wedding is a really special day, right. 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:10.919 It is a fun party. It's a chance to celebrate 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:13.720 one of the most meaningful events you'll ever celebrate in 0:06:13.760 --> 0:06:15.760 your entire life. And so you don't want to look 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:18.760 back and have regrets that you didn't spend enough. So 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:21.680 finding that balance is key, and we'll dive into the 0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:24.440 specific ways that you can save some money on your 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:36.960 wedding without having regrets right after the break all right, soul, 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:38.719 The first thing that we need to focus on if 0:06:38.839 --> 0:06:41.400 you are planning a wedding is to consider what is 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:44.400 most important to you. You know, before you even start 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:46.719 planning a wedding, you want to consider what it is 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:48.920 that is most important to you and your fiance. You 0:06:48.960 --> 0:06:51.359 need to ask yourself, how do I want to experience 0:06:51.400 --> 0:06:53.000 this day, or like, what do I want my guests 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:56.279 to experience? Those are sort of the big why questions 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:58.400 that once you answer those, the rest of the money 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:00.840 questions that pop up inevitably when it comes to planning 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:03.320 a wedding will become much much easier. I say this 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:05.400 to my couples all the time. If there are aspects 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:07.440 and parts of a wedding that you just don't care 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:10.280 about and that are not meaningful to you, just skip 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:13.400 those right. So, if you don't like cake, well there's 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:15.520 no reason for you to have a wedding cake. Instead, 0:07:15.720 --> 0:07:18.920 maybe food trucks are or what you're all about. Let's 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:21.320 say that you're not into big bands or like that 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:24.200 kind of music. Well, maybe instead you're really into karaoke, 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:28.040 and instead you can have some awesome karaoke at your reception. Like, 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:30.600 the idea is to make sure that it's reflective of 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:34.080 you and your personality as a couple. You would infuse 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:36.480 as much of that into the wedding as possible, and 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:39.240 again hopefully that will direct your decisions when it comes 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:42.080 to making purchases for your wedding. Yes, So of course 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:44.600 the cheapest way to get married would be to a lope. 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:47.080 Just get married at the courthouse, fly to Vegas right, 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:49.480 and go to one of the wedding chapels on the strip. 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:52.760 We're talking about sixty bucks, maybe many hundreds of dollars 0:07:52.840 --> 0:07:55.640 if you're buying a flight, right, that's that's pretty inexpensive. 0:07:55.800 --> 0:07:57.760 But in all likelihood, for most people, that's not going 0:07:57.800 --> 0:08:01.000 to meet the requirement of having party with friends and 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:03.280 family that they care about, of bringing in people that 0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:06.040 they haven't seen in years, and just making it a 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:09.200 grand old time. So while eloping might work for some people, 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:11.320 and more power to you if if that is the 0:08:11.360 --> 0:08:13.200 kind of wedding that you want, you're gonna say a 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:16.000 lot of money. But this episode is geared towards people 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:18.800 trying to throw a wedding with with a guest list, 0:08:19.000 --> 0:08:20.680 and so Matt, let's get to the main ways that 0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:22.880 you can save while doing that, all right, man, Let's 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:25.960 talk first about location. So where you get married will 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:29.360 likely have the largest impact on your overall budget, not 0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:32.360 only because of the actual cost of the venue, but 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:35.400 there's the secondary costs associated with it. As well. We 0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:38.640 didn't an entire episode on secondary costs and and why 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:41.160 things end up costing more than you think. Well, on 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:43.760 that note, it's tougher to have an affordable wedding at 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:46.840 a really, really fancy venue, right Like, if you're getting 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:49.280 married in Atlanta at the Swan House, it's the super 0:08:49.360 --> 0:08:53.400 high end, historical fancy place, sounds like it. It's where 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:58.400 a president snows mansion was in the Hunger Games. That house, 0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:02.319 it is extremely expensive, and they've probably got a smaller 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:05.199 list of caterers that you can go with, right and exactly, 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:08.240 everything just gets more expensive based on that initial decision. Yes, 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:11.920 it's tough to have an affordable wedding at the Swan House. However, 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:13.960 on the opposite end of spectrum, if you're gonna get married, 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:16.520 say out a brewery, it's becoming more and more popular 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:19.600 to get married out a brewery. They're affordable, there's great 0:09:19.679 --> 0:09:22.440 beer there obviously, but that would also allow you to 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:25.880 not include certain vendors that might be a lot more expensive. 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:29.840 Speaking of breweries and alcohol, Matt, it's worth asking a 0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:32.960 potential venue that you're looking at getting married in to 0:09:33.000 --> 0:09:35.559 see if they allow you to bring your own booze, 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:38.920 because there's a huge markup when it comes to beer, 0:09:39.000 --> 0:09:42.280 wine and spirits from a food vendor for a wedding, 0:09:42.520 --> 0:09:44.440 and so if you can bring your own in and 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:46.760 have your buddy manning the keg, I mean, that can 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:48.760 be a major savings for you. I know, my wife 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:50.920 and I we got a couple of pony kegs of 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:53.400 some cheap beer that was before I was like madly 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:55.800 into craft beer and uh, and we saved a lot 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:58.360 of money by bringing our own beer in and also 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:00.880 having two buck chuck, Like that's literally the only things 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:03.160 that people could drink besides water at our wedding, and 0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:04.760 we saved a lot of money doing it that way. 0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:07.400 Another tip, when you are bringing in your own alcohol, 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:08.880 you want to make sure that you buy it from 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:12.440 someplace that will allow you to return unopened bottles, because 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:14.920 obviously you want to have enough on hand for the party, 0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:16.520 but at the same time, you don't want to get 0:10:16.520 --> 0:10:19.880 stuck with a bunch of unopened cases of bourbon if 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:22.079 that's what you happen to have on hand. The same 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:24.120 thing with keg's. Obviously you can't return to keg So 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:26.560 keep that in mind as well, because well you're just 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:29.560 gonna have to drink it before it goes bad. That's 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:32.760 the wedding after party right there. Right. Another important thing 0:10:32.800 --> 0:10:34.520 when it comes to location, Matt is that a lot 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:37.960 of venues will offer better rates during less popular seasons. 0:10:38.280 --> 0:10:42.720 So for instance, January and February, those are not popular 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:44.959 months to get married in, right, and you know that 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:48.360 because you have very few requests for your services during 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:52.199 those months. So considering getting married then, or also on 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:54.880 alternative days of the week. So everyone gets married on 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:57.120 a Saturday pretty much, so if you're willing to get 0:10:57.160 --> 0:10:59.720 married on a Sunday instead of a Saturday, well you 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:02.640 could probably save some substantial money on your venue if 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:06.239 you do that too. Also, if you get married outdoors, 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:08.559 say just out in nature in the park or maybe 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:11.920 at a private residence at a house, that can be 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:14.800 a more affordable way to book a venue, but it's 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:16.680 not always the case. You know, you need to take 0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:19.680 weather into account. If you're willing to risk it, then sure, 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:21.200 you know you can save a ton of money. But 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:23.400 if you're looking at getting a tint, maybe you need 0:11:23.440 --> 0:11:25.640 to bring in the dance floor. If the backyards are 0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:28.840 not perfectly even, you can easily fork out several thousand 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:31.439 dollars to kind of get a backyard up to snuff. 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:33.920 But I love the idea of just kind of alpening 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:35.760 and being out in nature. I've done that a couple 0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:37.520 of times, and do that's just like the best because 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:39.640 I love hiking and being out in nature, and I 0:11:39.679 --> 0:11:42.760 love taking pictures, and I also love making a living, 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:44.760 and so when I can combine all three of those 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:48.440 things together, that's the best. Yeah, And the pictures when 0:11:48.440 --> 0:11:51.559 you're out in nature are amazing through the best, right. 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:53.920 I mean, Emily and I we got married at the 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:56.760 Memphis Zoo because so she's from Memphis and we decided 0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:58.320 to get married at the zoo there, and so we 0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:01.280 get this kind of mix of indoor and outdoor shots, 0:12:01.640 --> 0:12:04.439 photos of us in front of like the lions and 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:06.880 the flamingos and stuff like that. So just kind of 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:10.640 really fun memories to think back at those pictures. At 0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:12.280 the same time, if we had to choose something else, 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:14.720 I think we probably totally would have gotten married somewhere 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:17.720 in nature, just with some kind of crazy cliff overlooks 0:12:17.800 --> 0:12:19.720 or something, I don't know, something interesting like that. Yeah, 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:22.440 those pictures are super popular these days. You just get 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:25.319 like a hundred dollar permit and boom, you're shooting in 0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:28.080 Yosemite and you're getting married at the same time. That 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:30.560 sounds awesome. Well, you mentioned Tennessee as well, and that's 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:33.400 something else to consider, is that geographically, you know, on average, 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:35.760 it's more expensive to have a wedding in some cities 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:39.720 and states versus others. So, for instance, on average, a 0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:43.040 wedding in Long Island, New York, it's about sixty dollars 0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:45.520 versus Texas, where these beers were sent to us from, 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:48.160 it's about thirty thousand dollars, so half as much. So 0:12:48.559 --> 0:12:50.000 you know, if it's a toss up between a couple 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:53.280 of different states, maybe your home state versus your fiance's 0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:55.840 home state, it's worth, you know, considering what the actual 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:58.040 costs are in the state or the city that you're 0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:00.960 considering getting married in. All right, now we're gonna tackle matth, 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:03.760 the all important issue of guest count. And this one 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:06.000 gets touchy because the future in laws and your own 0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:08.560 parents have their ideas of who they want at this wedding, 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:10.800 and to a certain extent, depending on your relationship with 0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:12.800 your parents or your in laws, you probably need to 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:15.360 respect some of their wishes, But it's really important for 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:18.520 you as the couple to invite the folks that really 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:21.920 matter to you, and to not just invite folks purely 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:25.760 out of obligation, especially because that ramps up the cost. Well, yeah, man, 0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:29.240 I mean the guests count directly impacts your catering costs. 0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:30.880 You know, if you can cut back from say a 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:33.320 hundred and fifty guests, cut that in half down to 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:36.559 seventy five guests, that could save you five thousand dollars. 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:39.360 Over five thousand dollars if you're looking at seventy dollars 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:42.440 ahead for catering, and you know, if food isn't really 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:44.760 that much of a priority for you. Again, this kind 0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:46.920 of goes back to the initial question, like the big 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:50.120 overall what are our priorities going to be? If food 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:52.640 isn't a priority for you, Instead, maybe you can look 0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:54.960 at some local barbecue or let's say there's some awesome 0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:57.840 food trucks in your city, and honestly, those are gonna 0:13:57.840 --> 0:14:01.080 be much much more affordable as well. Yeah, and I 0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:03.360 think when it comes to food, Matt to going with 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:07.480 a daytime wedding is going to be much more cost effective. 0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:10.520 When you're talking about providing food for however many guests 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:12.880 you have, Right, the per head cost is just gonna 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:15.760 go way down if you're providing lunch as opposed to dinner. 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:18.120 And folks don't have to drink quite as much wine 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:21.600 at lunch either, you know, exactly. And the expectations honestly 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:24.920 are just overall lower for a lunch get together than 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:28.440 they are for a special, fancy sit down dinner wedding. Yeah, man, 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:29.880 that's so true. That's a good tip. But we should 0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:31.760 have mentioned that in sort of when we're talking about 0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:34.680 the venue. But the venue you choose will also indicate 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:37.160 sort of the level of fanciness, right, And so you 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:40.520 choose a brewery, folks are gonna maybe expect the barbecue 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:43.280 option and maybe a food truck, versus if you've got 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:45.320 one of the nicest hotels or one of the nicest 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:48.200 ballrooms in the city. Yeah, that the bar is raised. 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:50.840 They're they're expecting to pull out the tuxedo that they 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:52.520 haven't worn in a couple of years. And if you 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:54.160 even want a scale back even more. You know you 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:57.440 mentioned eloping, Well you can elope and then throw a 0:14:57.520 --> 0:14:59.960 party after the fact, and even calling it a party 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:02.920 versus a wedding, you get to save on that wedding markup. 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:06.360 Just because wedding or a reception is in the name, 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:09.440 it's automatically kind of gets fancier. And yeah, like you said, 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:12.520 there's a higher bar of what people expect, and it 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:15.240 just affects the entire vibe of the wedding day as well. 0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:17.400 So the time of day and certainly where you have 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:19.600 the wedding has a huge impact on the overall cost. 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:21.840 All right, Matt, Let's get into the rings. And I 0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:24.160 know that wedding rings kind of have a traditional element 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:27.200 and not everyone kind of goes with the traditional flare 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:29.600 these days. So for instance, I'm wearing a rubber ring. 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:32.560 I got three for ninety nine cents on eBay, different colors. 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:35.920 Is it because you crossed fit bro? No, trust me, 0:15:36.200 --> 0:15:38.320 If if I crossed it, all the listeners would have 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:41.120 known that on about twenty episodes so far. Right, anybody 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:43.120 that crossed its you hear about it pretty quickly. But 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:45.120 if you don't want to go like the nontraditional route 0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:48.800 like me and have literally a thirty three cent a 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:51.280 silicone ring, well we think you can find a really 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:54.520 awesome diamond ring for between two and four thousand dollars, 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.440 and the traditional rule of thumb has always been that 0:15:57.480 --> 0:16:00.000 you should spend three months of your salary on an 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:03.400 engagement ring. Honestly, to me, Matt, that feels kind of preposterous, 0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:06.360 that that sounds ludicrous. I never would have done that, 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:09.240 and I'm so glad that I had some people talking 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:11.680 sense into me that I didn't have to mortgage my 0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:15.080 future to buy a ring for my wife. And now, 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:18.880 with the advent of lab grown diamonds, which are completely 0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:22.000 indistinguishable from diamonds that you dig up out of the ground, 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:24.720 you can save a huge amount of money. And light 0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:27.960 box and Brilliant Earth are both great websites to shop 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:30.000 four But if you're looking for diamonds that were dug 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:32.760 out of the earth, Rare Carrot is the best comparison 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:35.920 shopping site for regular diamonds on the internet right now. 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:37.920 And so we'll post links to all those in our 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:40.800 show notes. Yeah, what's awesome about lab grown diamonds, man, 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:42.840 is that you know there's a savings there of at 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:45.840 least thirty percent in these days because the technology is 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:48.400 getting better when it comes to growing these diamonds and 0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:50.560 labs because it's I mean it's it's real work. It 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:52.680 takes work. It's not like they can just like run 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:55.560 it through a machine real quick. But the technology is 0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:57.440 getting better, and what that means is that the supply 0:16:57.600 --> 0:17:00.640 is increasing, which obviously means it's making it more affordable. 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:03.840 And so you know, to you as a consumer, that 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:08.040 is only good news. But also consider going vintage and 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:10.760 see if there's a family ring or a family stone 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:13.119 that's actually the kind of ring I have, which means 0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:17.480 obviously that it was free my favorite price tag. But 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:19.720 then in addition to that, obviously it has much more 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:21.840 meaning than say a ring that you know, Kate were 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:24.960 to have purchased, you know, online or somewhere else. I 0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:26.920 see you staring at my thirty three cent ring saying 0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:28.800 it doesn't have any meaning. Man, if it has a 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:30.720 meaning to you, that's that's all the meaning you need. 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:32.800 And so how much you spend on a ring, and 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:34.560 I think this is so important, but keep in mind, right, 0:17:34.680 --> 0:17:37.359 how much Joel, you spend on a ring isn't representative 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:40.120 how much you love someone. But the type of ring 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:42.040 you have should be a reflection, you know, of your 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:45.280 values and of your interest. We have some friends who 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:48.080 they value local artists and the type of ring that 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:51.120 they chose doesn't even look like a traditional engagement ring, 0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:54.000 but to them it's super special. It means so much 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.800 to them and it's a unique work of art and 0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:59.159 there's just really no other ring like that. Yeah, you 0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:01.040 were just talking about vin to Drinks, Matt, And that's 0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:03.119 what I went on the hunt for for for Emily. 0:18:03.200 --> 0:18:05.920 For my wife. It was kind of a fun shopping process, 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:08.920 and when I handed her that ring, I just, I mean, 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:10.480 I knew that it was the perfect thing for her. 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:12.200 And also it was one of the kind I feel 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:13.800 like I kind of hit the trifect though, where I 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:16.960 saved some money, I gave her something incredibly unique and 0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:20.080 something that was meaningful as well. So just know that 0:18:20.080 --> 0:18:22.919 there are multiple ways to go about ring shopping and 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:25.679 maybe you know, one of those Cheapo silicone rings is 0:18:25.720 --> 0:18:28.360