1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:14,360 Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:19,479 Speaker 1: Today's tip is too gossip for good. That is, say 4 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:22,480 Speaker 1: nice things about people that you suspect you'll over here 5 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: or that will be repeated back to them. This is 6 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 1: one of the best ways to make people feel good 7 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:32,560 Speaker 1: about themselves. A few months ago, I had an experience 8 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 1: that you may have had too. Several of us were 9 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 1: using a new video platform for a call, and as 10 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 1: I came in a bit late from trying to figure 11 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: it out, it was clear that the others were talking 12 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: and that they hadn't seen that I had joined. In 13 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: the span of ten seconds before they figured out I 14 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:52,520 Speaker 1: was there, one of the other participants said something nice 15 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: about me. Not only was I relieved that they weren't 16 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 1: complaining about my tardiness, I got the warm, fuzzy feeling 17 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 1: that comes from hearing a compliment that I wasn't intended 18 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: to hear. It got me thinking about the importance of 19 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:11,119 Speaker 1: gossiping for good. It's easy to bond with people by 20 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:15,040 Speaker 1: talking about other people, but even with people we like, 21 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: we can sometimes say things that border on complaint. I 22 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: don't know why we so often resort to negativity as 23 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,479 Speaker 1: we try to establish common ground, But I do know 24 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:30,319 Speaker 1: that it's not necessarily a great idea long term. And 25 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: if we're not going to stop talking about other people, 26 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 1: maybe we can try to make at least some of 27 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 1: the talk positive. There's a good chance our words will 28 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: get back to the person we're talking about, so best 29 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 1: to say things that if they do get back to 30 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: the person, or if the person overhears them, they'll feel 31 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: good about. This is especially true with kids. Kids can 32 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: indeed be maddening and exhausting, but we're all around the 33 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 1: house right now. A complaint said behind a closed door 34 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 1: on a cell phone will still be heard, so will 35 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:10,559 Speaker 1: a compliment. Best to spread kindness through these tough times 36 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 1: by going with the ladder when in doubt, be specific. 37 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 1: Talk about examples. Maybe your kids have found a way 38 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,680 Speaker 1: to keep training for their sports. Maybe they've been reaching 39 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: out to friends to check on how they're doing. Maybe 40 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 1: they've had trouble with distance learning but have proactively reached 41 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 1: out to teachers for help. Choose something that you're proud of, 42 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 1: and then the next time you're on the phone with 43 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,959 Speaker 1: a relative or a friend or having what you think 44 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:39,919 Speaker 1: is a behind closed doors conversation with your spouse. Make 45 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: sure to bring these things up. You can do this 46 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: with colleagues too. When someone does something well or handles 47 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 1: a tough situation with wisdom, make a note of it. 48 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 1: Work it into your next conversation with someone else. Maybe 49 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 1: it won't make it back to the other person, in 50 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 1: which case, no big deal. You've just said now something nice, 51 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 1: But the odds are good that it will make it 52 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 1: back to the person you're complimenting. And while you can 53 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: and should compliment people directly, these back channel compliments always 54 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:15,000 Speaker 1: feel a little more special. They weren't meant to be heard, 55 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: so when they are heard, it's like opening an unexpected present. 56 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 1: Knowing this, you can make a point of repeating anything 57 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,240 Speaker 1: nice that you hear to the subjects too. Tell your 58 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 1: kids how impressed your relatives are with the notes they sent. 59 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: Tell your colleagues how impressed your friend in another department 60 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: was with their performance in the last meeting. When you 61 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 1: gossip for good, you become a force for good. And 62 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: who couldn't use that right now? In the meantime, this 63 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: is Laura, Thanks for listening, and here's to making the 64 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: most of our time. Hey everybody, I'd love to hear 65 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: from you. You can send me your tips, your questions, 66 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook 67 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:09,600 Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod. That's b E the 68 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 1: number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can also 69 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 1: shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast. At i 70 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 1: heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out 71 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 1: with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward 72 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 1: to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of 73 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: I heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, 74 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 75 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.