WEBVTT - ALISON WONDERLAND GIVES ADVICE AS A GECKO

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<v Speaker 1>Alice in Wonderland. How are you?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just this is the best day of my life.

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<v Speaker 1>How does it feel to be a gecka?

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<v Speaker 2>It's not easy being green, No, it's not, but I

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<v Speaker 2>honestly feel it. I love reptiles and frogs and stuff,

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<v Speaker 2>and yeah, this is this is my dream and I

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<v Speaker 2>really think I'm meant to be a green animal.

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<v Speaker 1>Now you're from Australia, correct, Yes, And I've heard in

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<v Speaker 1>Australia they're known for having like pretty gnarly fucked up

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<v Speaker 1>supernali reptiles. Have you encountered.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, My manager Goth, when we used to live in Australia,

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<v Speaker 2>he was a reptile rest Like he would go and

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<v Speaker 2>rescue reptiles from people's homes and re home them in

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<v Speaker 2>the bush. And so I would come with him and

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<v Speaker 2>I would actually film while live it and like wrangle

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<v Speaker 2>these deadly snakes and it was not chill at all.

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<v Speaker 2>Like one of them definitely came in and tried to

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<v Speaker 2>strike me. And I'm sure Goth has had so many

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<v Speaker 2>terrible experiences.

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<v Speaker 1>You guys had your own, like Steet, what's the Steven,

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<v Speaker 1>Steve Irwin, you were like filming, Well, I think.

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<v Speaker 2>There's one video on his YouTube still where he edited

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<v Speaker 2>it to really heavy metal music and he's like, I

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<v Speaker 2>think he was trying to wrangle a brown snake, which

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<v Speaker 2>is the deadliest, one of the deadliest snakes in the world.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I actually filmed from behind a door that time because

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<v Speaker 2>I was.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, how are you with like if I had a.

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<v Speaker 2>Snake, And oh yeah, I used to have a pet

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<v Speaker 2>snake called Sparkles. He was a diamond python. And Garth

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<v Speaker 2>actually used to have a bunch of snakes and we've

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<v Speaker 2>been best friends since we were really young. So I

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<v Speaker 2>was just always around reptiles.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you think that because you were growing up with

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<v Speaker 1>them it made you a little bit less squeamish to

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<v Speaker 1>them as you got older.

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<v Speaker 2>I do think I was ever squeamish with reptiles. Ever,

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<v Speaker 2>I love lizards. I've always loved lizards so much, and

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<v Speaker 2>frogs and stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>A question, Yeah, what's been the most persistent thought on

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<v Speaker 1>your mind lately?

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<v Speaker 2>Is everything going to be okay?

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<v Speaker 1>Is everything going to be okay?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay? When you say everything is every is it like

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<v Speaker 1>everything externally in the universe or is it everything with you?

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<v Speaker 1>Or is it a combination?

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<v Speaker 2>It's a combination Okay, I sit there and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh my god, global warming. That's scaring me. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>there's an uncertainty, and I really like because you know,

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<v Speaker 2>being an artist, everything is so up and down all

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<v Speaker 2>the time. You need to have a little bit of stability,

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<v Speaker 2>and sometimes you know that, you go through these waves

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<v Speaker 2>where everything's a little bit in limbo, and I'm kind

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<v Speaker 2>of feeling that, so I'm just like, please. Sometimes I

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<v Speaker 2>have this thought that I wish I could have this

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<v Speaker 2>remote where I could fast forward into the future and

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<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't have to live the next few months. But

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<v Speaker 2>I really did live it interesting, but I woke up

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<v Speaker 2>and I nailed it.

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<v Speaker 1>What are some things? Just speaking on the uncertainty, are

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<v Speaker 1>there things in your life that you know for sure

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<v Speaker 1>that are like undeniable constants.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, my dog is the best thing in the world.

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<v Speaker 2>I have a really really great group of friends, are

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<v Speaker 2>really small, very small group of friends. And also, and

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<v Speaker 2>it's gonna sound super cheesy, but I love music, and

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<v Speaker 2>so I always have that to late lean back on.

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<v Speaker 2>Like ever since I was in high school, I was

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<v Speaker 2>just honestly in the corner listening on my.

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<v Speaker 1>CD player, And no one can take that, No one can.

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<v Speaker 2>Take that from you. There's actually it never got released,

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<v Speaker 2>but I wrote a song about it, where there's little

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<v Speaker 2>things that you experienced in your life that brings you

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<v Speaker 2>joy that you discovered yourself, that you don't associate with

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<v Speaker 2>any other person. So whenever you go back to that,

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<v Speaker 2>and for me it's music or you know, particular bands

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<v Speaker 2>or Christmas lights. I love Christmas lights, I always associate

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<v Speaker 2>it with a really good feeling that has nothing to

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<v Speaker 2>do with any other situation or any other person. So

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<v Speaker 2>no one can take that from me. And I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>that is my happiness. And I did a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>work actually over the pandemic to make sure that the

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<v Speaker 2>happiness that I feel is relyingt on myself.

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<v Speaker 1>One hundred percent. That's a big People come in here

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<v Speaker 1>and they talk about that a lot. And the number

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<v Speaker 1>one thing I feel like I'm always talking to people

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<v Speaker 1>about it is like finding some kind of happiness that

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<v Speaker 1>is within your control. It's not centered around a person,

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<v Speaker 1>not even centered around like a career or sent it

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<v Speaker 1>around anything external.

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<v Speaker 2>Just now.

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<v Speaker 1>My dream in life is I want to be able

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<v Speaker 1>to just be like I want to have like like

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<v Speaker 1>I want to be mentally in a place where like

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<v Speaker 1>I could have no possessions, no friends, no family, no money,

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<v Speaker 1>no anything and still be happy. I'm totally not there.

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<v Speaker 1>That's like some enlightenment. Yeah shit, but I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>that would be the goal.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I actually did a lot of work during the

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<v Speaker 2>pandemic on that, and I got to the best place

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<v Speaker 2>I ever have been, and I still am there where

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<v Speaker 2>I just you know, wasn't looking for anything. I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>need anything external to feed what I needed to be happy,

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<v Speaker 2>and I just focused on things that again no one

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<v Speaker 2>could take from me and made me happy because again,

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<v Speaker 2>we're all alone at the time, and a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>things run certain. That was super limbo for me and

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of people, you know, I had. I'd been

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<v Speaker 2>touring for so long, I never stopped traveling, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was just like alone, What are.

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<v Speaker 1>Some things that you're uncertain about now?

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<v Speaker 2>I just I think, just as an artist, you're always

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<v Speaker 2>uncertain because I wake up every day and my life

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<v Speaker 2>is I get up, take my dog for a walk,

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<v Speaker 2>get back in, work on music, or do something like this,

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<v Speaker 2>and I don't know externally my perception, so I'm always

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<v Speaker 2>kind of like, creatively, I'm not doing it to please

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<v Speaker 2>anyone else. It's just for myself. So I think sometimes

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<v Speaker 2>when I do think too much about that, I'm.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, oh fuckle, think about how like you're perceived.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I just don't. I don't really when I don't

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<v Speaker 2>think about it, it's not not how I'm perceived. Actually, weirdly,

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<v Speaker 2>I've never really cared about that.

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<v Speaker 1>You've never cared about you, like when you were like

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<v Speaker 1>because I feel like when you when I was at

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<v Speaker 1>the like in middle school, that's like all a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of people care about it.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I actually have a crazy reaka moment that happened

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<v Speaker 2>to me in eighth grade because I was really heavily

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<v Speaker 2>bullied in high school, super bullied. I did not have

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<v Speaker 2>a good school time at all, to the point where

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<v Speaker 2>I moved schools to a music school because no one

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<v Speaker 2>got me what.

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<v Speaker 1>Was your your WEEKA moment.

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<v Speaker 2>I went to. So in Australia, it's composed compulsory to

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<v Speaker 2>wear a school uniform, whatever school you go to, and

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<v Speaker 2>then we have these things called mufty days, which is

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<v Speaker 2>like our playing clothes day every once in a while.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think my dress sense has actually never changed.

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<v Speaker 2>But I was in like a really oversized Beetles T

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<v Speaker 2>shirt with the four beetles and it said let it

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<v Speaker 2>be on the bottom, and then these terrible like zip

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<v Speaker 2>off cargo pants, which I kind of fuck with now.

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<v Speaker 2>And I had, you know, like the strands and like

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<v Speaker 2>the dyed black hair, and I just kind of was

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<v Speaker 2>in the corner playing cello and this the very pretty

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<v Speaker 2>popular girl that I wanted to. I was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I want someone to like me. And because

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<v Speaker 2>I was with my sister jokes, She's like, you were

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<v Speaker 2>that because we went to the same school. She's like,

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<v Speaker 2>you were that weird kid on like the hill at lunch,

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<v Speaker 2>like rolling around eating grapes by yourself, and it's very specific.

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<v Speaker 1>But then you grow up and that becomes a niche the.

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<v Speaker 2>Hill kid, I guess, yeah, being the hill kid, Well, yeah, two,

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<v Speaker 2>you reaca moment. So that day, this girl who I

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<v Speaker 2>will not name, but remember her name very very well.

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<v Speaker 2>She walked in in front of my whole class and

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<v Speaker 2>everyone used to be like, oh, she's a loser. And

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<v Speaker 2>she was like, what are you wearing? What is that?

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<v Speaker 2>What is that? And I was like, oh, is that

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<v Speaker 2>like your band or something? Loser?

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<v Speaker 1>She said that about your Beatles T shirt that you

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<v Speaker 1>and I.

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<v Speaker 2>Was like, bro, this is the day when I realized

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<v Speaker 2>that none of y'all are cool and the Beatles. Like

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<v Speaker 2>the fact that you just said that about the Beatles

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<v Speaker 2>makes you so uncool that I don't give a.

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<v Speaker 1>I asked your question. So you do you remember this

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<v Speaker 1>girl's name? You don't have to say it, But what

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<v Speaker 1>do you think she is doing?

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<v Speaker 2>I know what she's doing now. I'm a Scorpio moon,

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<v Speaker 2>so I know what.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you big into astrology? Not really Scorpio? So from

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<v Speaker 1>what I do, I don't know a lot about astrology,

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<v Speaker 1>but Scorpio is the one that like people, I'm.

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<v Speaker 2>A seriously psycho. No, I'm kidding, no, but I did.

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<v Speaker 2>I did actually think about it recently and I went

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<v Speaker 2>and checked on I found her on Facebook.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah did you reach out?

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<v Speaker 2>No? No, But there's a few of them. When I

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<v Speaker 2>remember in twenty fifteen when I first played Coachella, a

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<v Speaker 2>bunch of them were like, Hey, it's blah blah remember

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<v Speaker 2>me from school?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you the type of person? Do you do you

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<v Speaker 1>hold grudges? Do you remember that?

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<v Speaker 2>Or I don't hold grudges? No, because I feel like

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<v Speaker 2>there's this like heaviness in your gut and your gut

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<v Speaker 2>has another brain. You know, I don't like to do that,

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<v Speaker 2>but I don't forget okay, So like I.

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<v Speaker 1>Just do you hold when you're playing Coachella and all

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<v Speaker 1>of the people in middle school who bullied you reach

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<v Speaker 1>out and they're like, oh my god, I was so

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<v Speaker 1>happy for you, are like can.

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<v Speaker 2>I get a ticket? I'm like no, no.

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<v Speaker 1>But are you in the back of your mind are

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<v Speaker 1>you like fuck these people?

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<v Speaker 2>Like no, I'm just kind of like, huh.

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<v Speaker 1>I was kind of like is it okay? And then

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<v Speaker 1>so on the other side is like a vinda, do

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<v Speaker 1>you feel like vindicated in a way?

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<v Speaker 2>Like yeah, validated?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like I made it out on top. No.

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<v Speaker 2>Actually, weirdly people have asked me that before and I don't.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm telling you, Like, internally me as a person, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't feel different from that kid in eighth grade.

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<v Speaker 1>So for me, this isn't era rolling around the hill.

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<v Speaker 2>Still rolling around the hill eating grapes. But like, this

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<v Speaker 2>isn't a revenge thing that doesn't motivate me. What motivates

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<v Speaker 2>me to get on top is literally just because I'm

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<v Speaker 2>so I like being creative and I like trying new things,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm competitive with myself, so that's not really what

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<v Speaker 2>I look to but it is kind of funny. I'm like, huh, well.

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<v Speaker 1>It ties back into what we were talking about, because,

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<v Speaker 1>like you, if you were to be you know, compelled

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<v Speaker 1>by wanting to show other people that you made it,

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<v Speaker 1>that would be an external thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's just not really how to operate. I think, like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't. It's not what satisfies me. And I've said

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<v Speaker 2>this a billion times. I've been broke, like bankrupt broke before,

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<v Speaker 2>and I've been able to afford things. I've had both

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<v Speaker 2>and for me, living richly is being happy internally and

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<v Speaker 2>like being able to have my two feet on the

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<v Speaker 2>ground every day and like being okay with where I'm at.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, And in the times when you were broke,

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<v Speaker 1>did you have that perspective? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>I did. Actually weirdly, I was like, okay, I'm okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm I'm I worked out what gratitude was, and I

0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:28.560
<v Speaker 2>was like, okay, cool, I might be eating tuna out

0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:31.559
<v Speaker 2>of a can for a bit, but firstly, I can

0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:34.160
<v Speaker 2>work my way out of this. There are options, like

0:10:34.400 --> 0:10:36.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to give up, and I can get

0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:38.679
<v Speaker 2>out of this, and I did. I just had to

0:10:38.760 --> 0:10:44.520
<v Speaker 2>fucking work hard. It's like it's you can make it

0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:47.080
<v Speaker 2>out of anywhere. And again, I have this song called

0:10:47.120 --> 0:10:49.760
<v Speaker 2>Forever and it applies to this, but it will feel

0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:52.160
<v Speaker 2>like forever until it doesn't. But as long as you

0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:55.000
<v Speaker 2>know that. Actually, when I was I was in New

0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:57.319
<v Speaker 2>Zealand for a bit last year and I was quarantining.

0:10:57.440 --> 0:10:59.400
<v Speaker 2>They make you quarantine, like the army takes you off

0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:01.560
<v Speaker 2>the plane and puts you in like a room for

0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:03.839
<v Speaker 2>two weeks and like you're not allowed to leave. It's

0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:05.680
<v Speaker 2>kind of crazy. But I had a friend who I

0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:07.880
<v Speaker 2>met there where we'd have an hour out and we'd

0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:10.920
<v Speaker 2>walk around in circles in the yard like like jail.

0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:12.600
<v Speaker 2>It felt like a jail.

0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:15.400
<v Speaker 1>Really. Oh yeah, I remember New Zealand was very hardcore

0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:16.199
<v Speaker 1>on the quarantine.

0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:16.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:20.320
<v Speaker 2>And he turned out to be randomly Yeah, he was.

0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:26.160
<v Speaker 2>He's the coach of Zoe Sinnert. No, she's she's a

0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:31.200
<v Speaker 2>a like an Olympic gold medalist like snowboarder. And he

0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:34.400
<v Speaker 2>was teaching me a thing called the pit and I

0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:36.400
<v Speaker 2>use it all the time now. And he's like, if

0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:39.120
<v Speaker 2>you want to achieve something higher than where you are now,

0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:43.040
<v Speaker 2>example being fucking broke or whatever, it is being in

0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:45.520
<v Speaker 2>an abusive relationship, trying to get out of it, or

0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:49.760
<v Speaker 2>feeling suicidal or not being happy in yourself. Internally, there

0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:51.440
<v Speaker 2>is a thing called the pit or work. If you

0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:53.520
<v Speaker 2>want to be the fucking best in the world at

0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:55.400
<v Speaker 2>what you do, that's not easy.

0:11:55.720 --> 0:11:56.280
<v Speaker 1>What is the pit?

0:11:56.440 --> 0:11:58.920
<v Speaker 2>So the pit is like so you have to imagine

0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:00.480
<v Speaker 2>you're at the top of a pit, and then in

0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.160
<v Speaker 2>order to get to the next level, you have to

0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:05.920
<v Speaker 2>go down and get back out of it, you know

0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:06.400
<v Speaker 2>what I mean.

0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:07.920
<v Speaker 1>You can't be afraid of.

0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:12.960
<v Speaker 2>Guaranteed you're going to be in that dip at some point.

0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:15.800
<v Speaker 1>You gotta you gotta dip that you gotta well, you know,

0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:17.800
<v Speaker 1>we were talking, we were talking a little bit before

0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:21.440
<v Speaker 1>the cameras started rolling about. You played Red Rocks, and

0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:24.559
<v Speaker 1>you were talking about like being nervous beforehand, and I'm

0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:26.679
<v Speaker 1>on a tour right now and I get really nerves beforehand.

0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:29.200
<v Speaker 1>I feel like that those nerves Like that's that's a

0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:31.080
<v Speaker 1>bit of a dip you have. You have to be

0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:33.600
<v Speaker 1>in your head about like, oh fuck, what if this happens?

0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:36.480
<v Speaker 1>What if? You know whatever, You gotta move through that,

0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:38.560
<v Speaker 1>and then on the other side is like holy shit,

0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:39.480
<v Speaker 1>I just played for me.

0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:42.000
<v Speaker 2>The dip was actually prepping for Red Rocks. It was

0:12:42.000 --> 0:12:45.800
<v Speaker 2>like the months like getting to it and making my set,

0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:51.160
<v Speaker 2>writing the string parts, you know, organizing all the instrumentals

0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:54.400
<v Speaker 2>and making it like like the visuals. Everything that was

0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:56.720
<v Speaker 2>the pit, Like I didn't sleep and no one sees

0:12:56.760 --> 0:12:58.439
<v Speaker 2>outside of it, you know, they see the top of the.

0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:00.880
<v Speaker 1>Eyes pidl but I you rocking out.

0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:06.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I was like so so hyper focused on that

0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:08.760
<v Speaker 2>for months, where I don't know, you know, when you're

0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:11.200
<v Speaker 2>like working too hard and you like sit up and

0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:13.240
<v Speaker 2>you've forgotten to eat, and your hair's kind of greasy

0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:15.480
<v Speaker 2>but everywhere, and you're start getting at it was at

0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:18.000
<v Speaker 2>that point I couldn't see, like I couldn't interact with people.

0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:19.800
<v Speaker 2>I was doing that, and I was like, oh my god,

0:13:19.800 --> 0:13:21.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm in the pit. But it's okay because now I

0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:23.120
<v Speaker 2>know that I'm in the pit. The only way to

0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:25.119
<v Speaker 2>get out of the pit is get back fucking.

0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:27.760
<v Speaker 1>Out of it. It takes a lot of I'm noticing,

0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:31.360
<v Speaker 1>it takes a lot of time and a lot of

0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:33.439
<v Speaker 1>repetition and going through the pit to be able to

0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:36.080
<v Speaker 1>zoom out so that when things are going, when things

0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:39.400
<v Speaker 1>are going badly. You're not like, oh, it's going to

0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:40.959
<v Speaker 1>be like this forever because you've ridden that way, and

0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:42.959
<v Speaker 1>then when things are going good, you're like, it's not

0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:43.360
<v Speaker 1>gonna be like.

0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:45.319
<v Speaker 2>No, when I think it's going good, I literally tweet

0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:47.080
<v Speaker 2>the other day why am I on my I have

0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:49.760
<v Speaker 2>like a side Twitter, and I'm like, why am I

0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:53.560
<v Speaker 2>feeling guilty when I'm happy? Which is like the biggest

0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:56.439
<v Speaker 2>thing that I deal with is when I'm feeling happy,

0:13:56.480 --> 0:13:58.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, this can't And I think it's just like

0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:02.120
<v Speaker 2>a defense mechanism because you know, we have so many

0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:04.960
<v Speaker 2>failures in our lives. Like again, also the pit, you

0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:06.880
<v Speaker 2>can't be a fail afraid to fail.

0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:08.679
<v Speaker 1>Oh no, there's good stuff in the pit.

0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:12.040
<v Speaker 2>There's good stuff, and there's failure in the pit. You

0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:14.400
<v Speaker 2>you have to fail sometime to get out of. Like

0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:19.200
<v Speaker 2>the pit means your like failure, but failure means that

0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:21.480
<v Speaker 2>you've learned something to make you stronger to get out

0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:21.760
<v Speaker 2>of the pit.

0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:24.360
<v Speaker 1>I feel like we're on a we're on a good

0:14:24.720 --> 0:14:28.320
<v Speaker 1>motivational role here. Do you want to Should we take

0:14:28.320 --> 0:14:28.880
<v Speaker 1>some calls?

0:14:29.080 --> 0:14:30.880
<v Speaker 2>Tell yeah, let's help with some pits.

0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:34.880
<v Speaker 1>Hugh, you're on the phone with me and Alice in Wonderland.

0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:37.360
<v Speaker 1>Is is there anything in particular that you you called

0:14:37.400 --> 0:14:38.320
<v Speaker 1>in to talk about.

0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:42.800
<v Speaker 4>Well, there's one thing more so than others. But I

0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:45.440
<v Speaker 4>have a whole multitude multitude of things that I can

0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:45.920
<v Speaker 4>talk about.

0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:48.520
<v Speaker 1>Let's let's start. Let the one the one thing that

0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:50.440
<v Speaker 1>you said is more than others. Let's focus on that

0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:51.840
<v Speaker 1>one thing. What is that one thing?

0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:53.800
<v Speaker 5>Okay?

0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:55.960
<v Speaker 4>So I got in a little bit of trouble when

0:14:55.960 --> 0:15:00.920
<v Speaker 4>I was fifteen, and then I got my pilot plcens.

0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:05.160
<v Speaker 4>I got my pilot plcense before I turned twenty one,

0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:09.200
<v Speaker 4>and then, uh, that thing didn't show up on my

0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:14.160
<v Speaker 4>medical record. But then now that I renewed my medical

0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:18.960
<v Speaker 4>and I'm twenty six now, a year and a half

0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:23.360
<v Speaker 4>after getting my newest medical, the FAA sends me a

0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:27.360
<v Speaker 4>really nice letter in the mail. Pay Hey, your medical

0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:32.640
<v Speaker 4>is not technically invalid, but don't fly anymore because.

0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:35.200
<v Speaker 5>We need to take a look at this.

0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:37.600
<v Speaker 1>Let's sum this all up here. Huge, Okay, So, from

0:15:37.640 --> 0:15:45.480
<v Speaker 1>what I understand about your situation, Hugh, you were when

0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:49.280
<v Speaker 1>you were fifteen, you had a DUI that what happened.

0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:53.760
<v Speaker 2>But you said that it wasn't It was dismissed, right, So.

0:15:53.880 --> 0:15:56.280
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it was a sponge. So I got a deal

0:15:56.360 --> 0:16:00.240
<v Speaker 4>called juvenile I had a juvenile court option or that

0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:04.920
<v Speaker 4>gave me what was called informal judgment, and ultimately he

0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:08.640
<v Speaker 4>had three options. One the first option was hand me

0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:11.400
<v Speaker 4>over to the bot and say try this kid as

0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:14.160
<v Speaker 4>a as an adult and like throw the book at him.

0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:18.160
<v Speaker 4>He's a terrible kid. The second option is what he

0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:22.200
<v Speaker 4>typically does and just wipe his hands clean, like slaunch

0:16:22.280 --> 0:16:27.320
<v Speaker 4>the pilot and it says, do whatever you want to him.

0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:29.720
<v Speaker 4>And then the third option is what he did. And

0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:34.240
<v Speaker 4>so there's no court know anything, and then everything is

0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:37.040
<v Speaker 4>a sponge for my record. The only thing that I

0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:38.360
<v Speaker 4>have is an arrest record.

0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:43.680
<v Speaker 2>Right, that's weird. I didn't know how that works in America.

0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:45.440
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how that works.

0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:46.520
<v Speaker 2>Can you speak to a lawyer?

0:16:46.720 --> 0:16:51.920
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, so I never had a lawyer, Like I said,

0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:54.920
<v Speaker 4>I had a so since I was a juvenile, I

0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:58.520
<v Speaker 4>was under eighteen, I went to this guy. I can't

0:16:58.520 --> 0:16:59.920
<v Speaker 4>think of his name for the life of me, but

0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:05.840
<v Speaker 4>he's a juvenile court officer and he determined like ultimately,

0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:09.520
<v Speaker 4>like what to do and specific situations like that.

0:17:10.040 --> 0:17:17.280
<v Speaker 2>So well he sounds like ya, he knew that family

0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:17.879
<v Speaker 2>and he knew that.

0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:21.720
<v Speaker 1>Oh sorry, he definitely knows more than I do.

0:17:22.760 --> 0:17:25.840
<v Speaker 2>But here's the thing, like if it was expunged or whatever,

0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:30.960
<v Speaker 2>then you shouldn't have a criminal record. So someone sounds like.

0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:36.119
<v Speaker 4>Record, I don't have a criminal record. I just have

0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:36.879
<v Speaker 4>an arrest.

0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:38.840
<v Speaker 5>Record like q q.

0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:41.600
<v Speaker 3>Q q q Q.

0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:48.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you fly planes, I do before you fly planes?

0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:51.400
<v Speaker 1>Do you ever drink a bunch of alcohol?

0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:57.800
<v Speaker 4>I've never, and I promise you this. I so there's

0:17:57.840 --> 0:18:01.200
<v Speaker 4>a thing that pilots have. And then eight eight hours

0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:04.280
<v Speaker 4>between model and throttle, which means you have to give

0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:06.919
<v Speaker 4>it at least eight hours before one drink before you

0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:07.800
<v Speaker 4>can five wan.

0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:10.960
<v Speaker 1>And do you do you religiously follow the rules of

0:18:11.040 --> 0:18:12.360
<v Speaker 1>bottle and to throttle?

0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:15.760
<v Speaker 4>Absolutely well.

0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:16.399
<v Speaker 1>I believe you.

0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:17.520
<v Speaker 2>I actually believe you.

0:18:17.840 --> 0:18:21.560
<v Speaker 1>And look, you know me and Allison were no Federal

0:18:21.600 --> 0:18:23.080
<v Speaker 1>Aviation Administration.

0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:24.119
<v Speaker 2>But you don't know that.

0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:26.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't know that. I don't know that Allison could

0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:28.600
<v Speaker 1>be a secret FA agent.

0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:30.760
<v Speaker 2>I think if there's a on your record that does

0:18:31.080 --> 0:18:34.120
<v Speaker 2>an arrest from when you were fifteen, I believe, isn't

0:18:34.119 --> 0:18:35.840
<v Speaker 2>it when you're eighteen it gets cleared and then they

0:18:35.960 --> 0:18:38.280
<v Speaker 2>shouldn't be on your record? Is that a thing or

0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:39.200
<v Speaker 2>is that?

0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:41.760
<v Speaker 1>Is that a thing? And is that a thing in Australia?

0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:44.359
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. Did I just dream that?

0:18:44.720 --> 0:18:47.200
<v Speaker 1>Possibly that's an interesting thing to dream.

0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:49.840
<v Speaker 2>But I feel like if it's juvenile, it doesn't apply

0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:51.440
<v Speaker 2>when you're an adult. Do you know what I mean?

0:18:53.920 --> 0:18:55.720
<v Speaker 1>Hugh? If you need us to show up in court

0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:58.480
<v Speaker 1>in the gecko suits and testify for you, we will.

0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:01.040
<v Speaker 1>And that's and that's the important thing I think you

0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:01.760
<v Speaker 1>should glean.

0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:07.919
<v Speaker 2>That is this that I'm down? But is it? So

0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:11.240
<v Speaker 2>then your medical records, when they're trying to do your

0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:15.000
<v Speaker 2>medical or whatever, it's saying you hadn't you had an

0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:19.359
<v Speaker 2>arrest when you're fifteen, That's that's the problem.

0:19:19.560 --> 0:19:23.639
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. So there's a betting that's done, like with the

0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:28.080
<v Speaker 4>doctor that you get your medical from, and which I

0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:30.359
<v Speaker 4>mean he makes sure that you can see, you can hear,

0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:32.159
<v Speaker 4>and you can do all that. But then there's also

0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:37.760
<v Speaker 4>like a mental betting. So he makes sure that you're

0:19:37.800 --> 0:19:40.640
<v Speaker 4>mentally able to fly a plane, and then he makes

0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:43.760
<v Speaker 4>sure that there's no like underlying issues like with alcohol

0:19:43.840 --> 0:19:45.080
<v Speaker 4>or drugs or anything like.

0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:48.159
<v Speaker 1>That, and he cleared me.

0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:54.280
<v Speaker 4>So but then but then a year and a half later,

0:19:55.560 --> 0:19:58.280
<v Speaker 4>after I got the most frequent medical I don't know

0:19:58.560 --> 0:20:02.560
<v Speaker 4>if the FA just have a backlog of you know,

0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:08.760
<v Speaker 4>here's all of these potential pilots that I you know,

0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:11.040
<v Speaker 4>we'll have a drug or alcohol problem.

0:20:11.400 --> 0:20:13.399
<v Speaker 1>Oh so I guess you're allowed to fly the planet,

0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:15.560
<v Speaker 1>but you're on a list of like, oh, this guy

0:20:16.000 --> 0:20:16.840
<v Speaker 1>might be boozing.

0:20:18.680 --> 0:20:22.640
<v Speaker 4>I maybe now I don't know about that, but like.

0:20:22.760 --> 0:20:26.320
<v Speaker 1>Listen, letter, what if you made a badge?

0:20:26.400 --> 0:20:28.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like, what if you made a badge when you

0:20:28.320 --> 0:20:33.080
<v Speaker 2>flew that said hey, I have a record of being arrested,

0:20:33.160 --> 0:20:39.120
<v Speaker 2>but I was fifteen, and it was clear I'd feel

0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:40.800
<v Speaker 2>good about that that you're being honest, you know.

0:20:41.280 --> 0:20:43.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, in fact, you should actually should start out, you

0:20:43.280 --> 0:20:48.600
<v Speaker 1>know how you have your opening announcements onto the plane.

0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:51.200
<v Speaker 1>You can you can mention that listening. When I was fifteen,

0:20:51.240 --> 0:20:54.679
<v Speaker 1>I got super drunk and I drove a car. But

0:20:54.880 --> 0:20:57.200
<v Speaker 1>you know that's just what happens when you're fifteen.

0:20:56.880 --> 0:20:57.680
<v Speaker 2>And they let me off.

0:20:57.840 --> 0:21:01.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and and folks, as much fun is what I'm

0:21:01.440 --> 0:21:04.040
<v Speaker 1>super drunk and fly this plane, I won't do it.

0:21:04.800 --> 0:21:08.000
<v Speaker 2>I think you should just walk around whatever you're doing

0:21:08.040 --> 0:21:11.320
<v Speaker 2>at all times with that badge, and that should be

0:21:11.400 --> 0:21:15.680
<v Speaker 2>like your social media tagline. I think you should own it, Hugh, do.

0:21:15.640 --> 0:21:18.000
<v Speaker 1>Any of these solutions that we've attempted to provide you

0:21:18.359 --> 0:21:18.919
<v Speaker 1>speak to you?

0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:25.240
<v Speaker 4>I no, I just found one story.

0:21:26.440 --> 0:21:28.760
<v Speaker 1>Well listen, Hugh. Is there anything else I to say

0:21:28.760 --> 0:21:30.159
<v Speaker 1>to the people of the computer before we go?

0:21:32.359 --> 0:21:35.720
<v Speaker 4>I love you all while I've been listening to you

0:21:35.760 --> 0:21:39.480
<v Speaker 4>literally all day. I've been working fourteen hours today hauling

0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:43.040
<v Speaker 4>grain to be Alison. I know of you, and I

0:21:43.080 --> 0:21:45.240
<v Speaker 4>know of the music, but I'm gonna give it a

0:21:45.280 --> 0:21:46.040
<v Speaker 4>little bit more.

0:21:46.200 --> 0:21:46.760
<v Speaker 3>Of a listener.

0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:50.439
<v Speaker 1>You should hell yeah, I like that. Thank you for

0:21:50.480 --> 0:21:51.560
<v Speaker 1>calling you, Thank you.

0:21:51.480 --> 0:21:54.160
<v Speaker 4>For calling well, thank you for taking.

0:21:53.960 --> 0:21:58.159
<v Speaker 1>My right He cut off at the end. What do

0:21:58.160 --> 0:21:59.400
<v Speaker 1>you think of Hugh in his situation?

0:21:59.520 --> 0:22:03.000
<v Speaker 2>I think that you. I think it's more an internal

0:22:03.040 --> 0:22:05.639
<v Speaker 2>thing than an external thing. Really like, I feel like

0:22:05.800 --> 0:22:08.320
<v Speaker 2>no one's again. You know, everyone has their own narrative

0:22:08.359 --> 0:22:09.000
<v Speaker 2>going on in their heads.

0:22:09.040 --> 0:22:11.320
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, oh yeah, the FAA has their narrative. Yeah.

0:22:11.480 --> 0:22:14.200
<v Speaker 2>Like I feel like a fun badge yeah, or a

0:22:14.280 --> 0:22:16.600
<v Speaker 2>T shirt yeah, just kind of owning it.

0:22:16.920 --> 0:22:21.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's cool. I like I feel like when you're

0:22:21.760 --> 0:22:26.040
<v Speaker 1>when you're fifteen, you know you you shouldn't be I

0:22:26.080 --> 0:22:27.399
<v Speaker 1>don't know. I don't know. I don't know to what

0:22:27.520 --> 0:22:31.800
<v Speaker 1>degree you should be held to the standards of what

0:22:31.840 --> 0:22:32.440
<v Speaker 1>your life.

0:22:32.240 --> 0:22:34.159
<v Speaker 2>Was like for you're fifteen, that they would wipe that.

0:22:34.560 --> 0:22:35.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't know.

0:22:35.320 --> 0:22:36.280
<v Speaker 2>We're gonna have to google that.

0:22:36.440 --> 0:22:39.120
<v Speaker 1>Well. I'm glad, I'm I'm glad that there are systems

0:22:39.160 --> 0:22:42.400
<v Speaker 1>in place to, like, you know, well, I guess, I guess.

0:22:42.440 --> 0:22:44.159
<v Speaker 1>I thought there were ye to make it so that

0:22:44.200 --> 0:22:45.760
<v Speaker 1>if you fucked up when you were a kid, you

0:22:45.760 --> 0:22:47.800
<v Speaker 1>could still go on as an adult to live a

0:22:47.840 --> 0:22:48.600
<v Speaker 1>real life.

0:22:49.240 --> 0:22:49.520
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:22:49.800 --> 0:22:52.760
<v Speaker 2>I wonder if Yeah, I wonder if it applies to

0:22:52.840 --> 0:22:53.639
<v Speaker 2>every type of crime.

0:22:54.400 --> 0:22:56.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. If you kill someone at fifteen, you

0:22:56.720 --> 0:22:57.360
<v Speaker 1>you have to you have.

0:22:57.320 --> 0:23:00.440
<v Speaker 2>To answer for that, Like, yeah, no, for sure. Huh

0:23:00.640 --> 0:23:04.280
<v Speaker 2>So I don't I thought that things get scrubbed after

0:23:04.720 --> 0:23:09.119
<v Speaker 2>juvenile age. Anyway, let's speak the badge. I would like

0:23:09.160 --> 0:23:10.280
<v Speaker 2>to see that badge if you do.

0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:13.440
<v Speaker 1>Let's talk to Chase in Philadelphia.

0:23:13.800 --> 0:23:15.480
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Philly, Hey.

0:23:15.400 --> 0:23:16.199
<v Speaker 1>Is this Chase?

0:23:16.800 --> 0:23:17.199
<v Speaker 6>What's up?

0:23:17.320 --> 0:23:17.840
<v Speaker 5>This as wow?

0:23:17.960 --> 0:23:18.160
<v Speaker 7>Right?

0:23:19.240 --> 0:23:20.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, this is Lyle and Allison.

0:23:21.080 --> 0:23:24.920
<v Speaker 6>Hey, holy shit, Hey guys, how.

0:23:24.760 --> 0:23:27.639
<v Speaker 1>Are you We're doing good? How are you?

0:23:30.080 --> 0:23:30.199
<v Speaker 3>Uh?

0:23:30.440 --> 0:23:33.440
<v Speaker 6>Pretty good? Little surprised, but pretty good.

0:23:34.240 --> 0:23:35.600
<v Speaker 1>Chase, What is it that you wanted to talk to

0:23:35.720 --> 0:23:37.399
<v Speaker 1>us about today?

0:23:38.920 --> 0:23:45.119
<v Speaker 6>So in the past couple of years, I have gotten

0:23:45.160 --> 0:23:50.119
<v Speaker 6>the opportunity to uh be an animator for my profession,

0:23:50.280 --> 0:23:54.240
<v Speaker 6>which is, you know, really amazing and I've worked really

0:23:54.280 --> 0:23:56.720
<v Speaker 6>hard for it and uh kind of a goal that

0:23:56.760 --> 0:24:00.400
<v Speaker 6>I had for a long time. But uh late I've

0:24:00.400 --> 0:24:05.680
<v Speaker 6>been feeling like kind of the anxiety of having that

0:24:06.359 --> 0:24:11.120
<v Speaker 6>goal is uh uh, or like the anxiety of possibly

0:24:11.160 --> 0:24:14.280
<v Speaker 6>losing this position that I have is kind of usurping

0:24:14.320 --> 0:24:17.360
<v Speaker 6>the joy that I get out of the job now.

0:24:18.200 --> 0:24:22.159
<v Speaker 1>So interesting. I feel like that's thematically similar to some

0:24:22.160 --> 0:24:23.720
<v Speaker 1>stuff that we were talking about.

0:24:23.600 --> 0:24:25.600
<v Speaker 2>Really just talking about that, and I think as a

0:24:25.680 --> 0:24:29.480
<v Speaker 2>creative it's so important to not feel like your job

0:24:29.560 --> 0:24:30.920
<v Speaker 2>is a job, do you know what I mean?

0:24:32.320 --> 0:24:33.760
<v Speaker 6>Like, yeah, yeah, I definitely do.

0:24:34.800 --> 0:24:38.879
<v Speaker 2>And what's giving you the anxiety? Like it is it

0:24:38.960 --> 0:24:40.720
<v Speaker 2>people that you're working with, or.

0:24:42.960 --> 0:24:46.800
<v Speaker 6>It's mainly just like sorry, it's mainly just like the

0:24:47.920 --> 0:24:50.960
<v Speaker 6>kind of the thought of like, oh man, what happens

0:24:50.960 --> 0:24:54.040
<v Speaker 6>to my life if I if I don't get this

0:24:54.359 --> 0:24:57.639
<v Speaker 6>or if this if I fuck up somehow basically, or

0:24:57.680 --> 0:25:00.399
<v Speaker 6>if they don't have the money anymore? Then exactly if

0:25:00.440 --> 0:25:02.640
<v Speaker 6>I go back to the pit, I climb my way

0:25:02.640 --> 0:25:04.880
<v Speaker 6>out of the pit. Now what happens if I go.

0:25:04.920 --> 0:25:07.680
<v Speaker 2>Back, Well, if you go back, it'll make you stronger.

0:25:07.800 --> 0:25:11.000
<v Speaker 2>The one advice I will give you, just from my

0:25:11.160 --> 0:25:15.840
<v Speaker 2>own experience of many times having that similar thought, so

0:25:16.160 --> 0:25:18.040
<v Speaker 2>just so you know you're not alone and very valid,

0:25:19.240 --> 0:25:24.720
<v Speaker 2>is you cannot be scared to fail, because you've got

0:25:24.720 --> 0:25:27.600
<v Speaker 2>to fail eventually. It's something you just have to know

0:25:27.760 --> 0:25:31.240
<v Speaker 2>and be prepared that that's okay and that's going to happen.

0:25:31.320 --> 0:25:33.360
<v Speaker 2>But if you don't put yourself out there, you're never

0:25:33.359 --> 0:25:36.760
<v Speaker 2>going to know either way. And then if you do fail, whatever,

0:25:36.840 --> 0:25:39.359
<v Speaker 2>then you try another way to do it. And again

0:25:39.400 --> 0:25:41.399
<v Speaker 2>there's always options, there's always ways to do it. And

0:25:41.480 --> 0:25:44.400
<v Speaker 2>if you you just have to work hard and see

0:25:44.440 --> 0:25:46.800
<v Speaker 2>what happens and put yourself out there honestly, or you're

0:25:46.840 --> 0:25:49.480
<v Speaker 2>just going to be you know, you don't want to

0:25:49.520 --> 0:25:51.480
<v Speaker 2>be really old and go what if you know?

0:25:53.600 --> 0:25:59.359
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, that's honestly all really good advice. I also wanted

0:25:59.400 --> 0:26:03.320
<v Speaker 6>to ask you guys, like probably you both can relate

0:26:03.359 --> 0:26:08.080
<v Speaker 6>to this when you are achieving or like really trying

0:26:08.119 --> 0:26:11.199
<v Speaker 6>to get a goal or something like that, and then

0:26:11.240 --> 0:26:15.720
<v Speaker 6>you get it. Usually you go okay, like I need

0:26:15.760 --> 0:26:17.440
<v Speaker 6>to go to the next step where I need to

0:26:17.520 --> 0:26:21.480
<v Speaker 6>keep working or whatever, and something I.

0:26:21.359 --> 0:26:23.000
<v Speaker 5>Think you actually said this earlier else and.

0:26:23.080 --> 0:26:27.840
<v Speaker 6>Like feeling like guilty when you're not really like doing anything,

0:26:27.960 --> 0:26:32.360
<v Speaker 6>or like you're kind of relaxing a little bit. I've

0:26:32.680 --> 0:26:34.440
<v Speaker 6>felt that for the past two years. It's just like, Okay,

0:26:34.480 --> 0:26:36.520
<v Speaker 6>I got here, I got to stay here. And if

0:26:36.560 --> 0:26:39.280
<v Speaker 6>I ever kind of black off a little bit, I'm

0:26:39.280 --> 0:26:43.640
<v Speaker 6>a you know, I don't deserve this position or whatever.

0:26:45.080 --> 0:26:46.840
<v Speaker 2>You know what it's called, and we all have it.

0:26:46.840 --> 0:26:49.520
<v Speaker 2>It's called impost. Like we feel like everyone feels foster.

0:26:49.920 --> 0:26:52.120
<v Speaker 2>Everyone feels like a fraud at some point. Sometimes I'm

0:26:52.160 --> 0:26:55.520
<v Speaker 2>like up at Red Rocks or Lollapalooza, We're playing this

0:26:55.560 --> 0:26:57.840
<v Speaker 2>show and I'm like, holy fuck, am I like in

0:26:57.880 --> 0:27:02.000
<v Speaker 2>a d MT trip right now? Is this all happen?

0:27:02.480 --> 0:27:05.760
<v Speaker 2>Like you know what, Yes, even if you're in this

0:27:05.840 --> 0:27:09.679
<v Speaker 2>is your d MT trip, Like just that's that's your

0:27:09.720 --> 0:27:12.159
<v Speaker 2>reality right now, and it is happening. The guilt I

0:27:12.200 --> 0:27:15.879
<v Speaker 2>feel is when something really good happens, like in a

0:27:15.960 --> 0:27:20.320
<v Speaker 2>less work, like and I didn't and it just kind

0:27:20.320 --> 0:27:22.280
<v Speaker 2>of came to me because I'm so used to having

0:27:22.320 --> 0:27:28.679
<v Speaker 2>to pit through everything. But I think that, uh, the

0:27:29.200 --> 0:27:30.919
<v Speaker 2>you know, what you should focus on is like what

0:27:30.960 --> 0:27:33.960
<v Speaker 2>can I do next? What's next? Instead of like being

0:27:33.960 --> 0:27:38.800
<v Speaker 2>complacent in where you're at, because I think that keeps

0:27:38.880 --> 0:27:43.359
<v Speaker 2>us driven and excited, and as creatives, it's really important

0:27:43.640 --> 0:27:46.920
<v Speaker 2>to have that excitement and drive towards what's next.

0:27:47.680 --> 0:27:53.960
<v Speaker 1>So to that chance, Uh, what like specifically for you,

0:27:54.000 --> 0:27:57.400
<v Speaker 1>do you think would would be next?

0:27:59.119 --> 0:28:02.000
<v Speaker 6>I don't know. I've kind of been trying to think

0:28:02.040 --> 0:28:06.080
<v Speaker 6>about it, like, uh, I don't know. Like before I

0:28:06.160 --> 0:28:08.199
<v Speaker 6>became where I got this position, it was like a

0:28:08.240 --> 0:28:11.160
<v Speaker 6>really pie in the sky idea for me. So now

0:28:11.160 --> 0:28:14.040
<v Speaker 6>that I've got it, I work in the education sector,

0:28:14.080 --> 0:28:17.000
<v Speaker 6>so I make like, you know, little cartoons for uh,

0:28:17.320 --> 0:28:19.160
<v Speaker 6>you know, two to seven year olds to help them

0:28:19.160 --> 0:28:22.359
<v Speaker 6>like learn English. So I'm like, Okay, since I'm already

0:28:22.359 --> 0:28:26.560
<v Speaker 6>in there, I might as well pivot to another education

0:28:26.720 --> 0:28:30.440
<v Speaker 6>company or something that works like that. And uh, that's

0:28:30.440 --> 0:28:34.480
<v Speaker 6>not necessarily what I really want to do, But if

0:28:34.520 --> 0:28:37.800
<v Speaker 6>I'm working as an animator, I'll be I'll be happy regardless.

0:28:37.800 --> 0:28:40.720
<v Speaker 1>You know what, what is it that you you said

0:28:40.720 --> 0:28:42.400
<v Speaker 1>that that's not necessarily what you want to do. What

0:28:42.480 --> 0:28:43.280
<v Speaker 1>is it that you do want to do?

0:28:45.040 --> 0:28:46.880
<v Speaker 6>I mean the dream is to like, you know, have

0:28:46.920 --> 0:28:52.040
<v Speaker 6>a show on adult Swim and you know, creative and everything.

0:28:51.720 --> 0:28:56.120
<v Speaker 1>So can I can I do you like do YouTube

0:28:56.200 --> 0:28:58.400
<v Speaker 1>or TikTok or anything like that, because I mean, the

0:28:58.440 --> 0:29:01.360
<v Speaker 1>fastest way to have your own show is to just

0:29:01.600 --> 0:29:02.720
<v Speaker 1>start making it.

0:29:04.320 --> 0:29:04.560
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:29:04.600 --> 0:29:06.360
<v Speaker 5>True, you know I.

0:29:09.040 --> 0:29:11.280
<v Speaker 6>Have an Instagram, but I don't do TikTok. I've been

0:29:11.520 --> 0:29:18.560
<v Speaker 6>trying to hold out. And while I actually emailed you, uh,

0:29:18.640 --> 0:29:22.520
<v Speaker 6>trying to trying to solicit animation services or see if

0:29:22.520 --> 0:29:25.440
<v Speaker 6>you need it at you Well, listen.

0:29:25.200 --> 0:29:27.080
<v Speaker 1>You don't need me. You don't need a belt swim.

0:29:27.160 --> 0:29:29.320
<v Speaker 1>You do need TikTok, you need yourself.

0:29:29.440 --> 0:29:33.000
<v Speaker 2>You like, just do it, because here's the thing people

0:29:33.000 --> 0:29:35.400
<v Speaker 2>like always ask, oh, you know, how do you start

0:29:35.440 --> 0:29:37.240
<v Speaker 2>writing songs? Like how do you do this? Blah blah

0:29:37.280 --> 0:29:40.800
<v Speaker 2>blah blahlah. Just fucking do it, and it's gonna be pit.

0:29:41.640 --> 0:29:44.360
<v Speaker 2>It's gonna be pit for a bit.

0:29:44.400 --> 0:29:45.560
<v Speaker 1>It's gonna be pit for a bit.

0:29:45.600 --> 0:29:48.040
<v Speaker 2>You don't feel like for everyone until it doesn't. But

0:29:48.200 --> 0:29:50.680
<v Speaker 2>you just got to do it. You just got to

0:29:50.760 --> 0:29:53.160
<v Speaker 2>do it. If that's what you want to do, you

0:29:53.160 --> 0:29:54.800
<v Speaker 2>don't want to be like one day like what if,

0:29:55.160 --> 0:29:57.640
<v Speaker 2>like fuck it. You go to your nine to five

0:29:57.960 --> 0:30:02.120
<v Speaker 2>animation job, make really cool cartoons for little kids in English,

0:30:02.120 --> 0:30:06.800
<v Speaker 2>which I love, and then at night just sacrifice a

0:30:06.800 --> 0:30:08.880
<v Speaker 2>couple of hours sleep and just do it. Put yourself

0:30:08.880 --> 0:30:09.200
<v Speaker 2>out there.

0:30:09.240 --> 0:30:11.600
<v Speaker 1>You can make all your fucked up Hentai animation.

0:30:11.880 --> 0:30:12.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:30:12.080 --> 0:30:14.200
<v Speaker 1>I know you got going on in that brand of yours.

0:30:15.240 --> 0:30:18.240
<v Speaker 2>We want to see it, but you should just do it. Honestly,

0:30:18.280 --> 0:30:21.920
<v Speaker 2>the only way that either of us where we're at

0:30:22.000 --> 0:30:24.200
<v Speaker 2>is we've been like, well fuck it, let's just do it.

0:30:24.200 --> 0:30:26.240
<v Speaker 1>Let's do it, and it sucks.

0:30:26.560 --> 0:30:29.000
<v Speaker 2>It's so much rejection. You're gonna hear a lot of no,

0:30:29.800 --> 0:30:30.600
<v Speaker 2>but just do it.

0:30:31.880 --> 0:30:32.600
<v Speaker 1>How do you?

0:30:32.640 --> 0:30:32.880
<v Speaker 2>How do you?

0:30:33.000 --> 0:30:35.680
<v Speaker 1>How do you feel right now? Chase?

0:30:37.360 --> 0:30:39.880
<v Speaker 6>I'm not gonna lie. I feel pretty motivated.

0:30:39.920 --> 0:30:44.440
<v Speaker 2>My heart is really good a little bit, don't.

0:30:44.480 --> 0:30:46.200
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I feel like I should quit my job. And

0:30:46.280 --> 0:30:51.640
<v Speaker 6>just nobody.

0:30:49.280 --> 0:30:53.160
<v Speaker 1>Said no, no, Chase. Nobody said you had to. Nobody Chase. No,

0:30:53.280 --> 0:30:55.240
<v Speaker 1>we're not telling you to stop doing things. We're telling

0:30:55.280 --> 0:30:55.880
<v Speaker 1>you to start. No.

0:30:56.160 --> 0:30:59.240
<v Speaker 2>What I'm saying is you're gonna have I am mad

0:30:59.240 --> 0:31:01.600
<v Speaker 2>at you, Chase right now. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no,

0:31:01.760 --> 0:31:04.640
<v Speaker 2>you keep doing that because also you don't want to

0:31:04.720 --> 0:31:07.320
<v Speaker 2>fuck that up, like there's gonna be people that will

0:31:07.320 --> 0:31:09.760
<v Speaker 2>appear in your life in ten years from that you met,

0:31:09.840 --> 0:31:11.920
<v Speaker 2>from when you met at the animation company, and you're

0:31:11.920 --> 0:31:13.760
<v Speaker 2>gonna be doing it like you've got to do it

0:31:13.800 --> 0:31:16.160
<v Speaker 2>on top of it. Just again, like add a couple

0:31:16.200 --> 0:31:18.440
<v Speaker 2>of hours to your day and just do it, like

0:31:18.560 --> 0:31:22.600
<v Speaker 2>drink some Yoba mate, drink some red Bull whatever you energy.

0:31:22.760 --> 0:31:28.560
<v Speaker 2>Don't do the other illegal things or do it. I don't. Yeah, no,

0:31:29.760 --> 0:31:33.600
<v Speaker 2>and just do it, I honestly, because otherwise you're not

0:31:33.600 --> 0:31:35.320
<v Speaker 2>going to do it and it's never gonna happen for you.

0:31:35.640 --> 0:31:39.320
<v Speaker 2>That's that's just real talk, you guys, right.

0:31:39.400 --> 0:31:41.160
<v Speaker 6>And also I was one hundred percent kidding. I would

0:31:41.160 --> 0:31:42.960
<v Speaker 6>I would never ever quit this job. It's less thing

0:31:43.000 --> 0:31:43.200
<v Speaker 6>going to.

0:31:44.680 --> 0:31:46.120
<v Speaker 1>Chase the's anything else you want to say to people

0:31:46.160 --> 0:31:47.080
<v Speaker 1>the computer before we go.

0:31:50.040 --> 0:31:53.400
<v Speaker 6>No, I'm so happy I got to get on Alie

0:31:53.400 --> 0:31:55.640
<v Speaker 6>in Wonderland. You have been really helpful and I really

0:31:55.680 --> 0:31:56.360
<v Speaker 6>appreciate it.

0:31:56.680 --> 0:31:56.960
<v Speaker 5>Lyle.

0:31:57.080 --> 0:31:59.080
<v Speaker 6>Thank You're the best, and I love walking you. Man.

0:32:00.040 --> 0:32:01.640
<v Speaker 1>I appreciate you. Chance. We'll talk to you soon.

0:32:02.840 --> 0:32:04.000
<v Speaker 6>Thanks man seated.

0:32:05.760 --> 0:32:07.560
<v Speaker 1>I like that guy. I hope you know motive. He's

0:32:07.600 --> 0:32:10.400
<v Speaker 1>the thing about motivation, about feeling fired up.

0:32:11.000 --> 0:32:15.440
<v Speaker 2>It only lasts for so if you're still watching tonight,

0:32:16.040 --> 0:32:19.440
<v Speaker 2>oh yeah, just fucking make something. Even if it sucks

0:32:19.520 --> 0:32:21.479
<v Speaker 2>and you don't like it, just make it.

0:32:21.520 --> 0:32:23.960
<v Speaker 1>I wish I would have asked him what he wants

0:32:24.000 --> 0:32:24.200
<v Speaker 1>to make.

0:32:24.240 --> 0:32:25.760
<v Speaker 2>You're gonna assume it's HENTI I.

0:32:25.640 --> 0:32:27.280
<v Speaker 1>Did assume it was hint well, because I feel like,

0:32:27.320 --> 0:32:29.520
<v Speaker 1>here's the thing is, if you have a if you

0:32:29.520 --> 0:32:32.360
<v Speaker 1>have a job like doctor, I'm about to say something

0:32:32.360 --> 0:32:34.920
<v Speaker 1>that's probably made up. But the cool thing about being

0:32:34.920 --> 0:32:37.280
<v Speaker 1>on a podcast is that you can just say stuff

0:32:38.120 --> 0:32:40.440
<v Speaker 1>without having to fact check any of it. I'm pretty

0:32:40.440 --> 0:32:44.760
<v Speaker 1>sure doctor Seuss made like fuck he made like fucked

0:32:44.840 --> 0:32:49.280
<v Speaker 1>up like sexual cartoons. I think so, because like and

0:32:49.320 --> 0:32:51.640
<v Speaker 1>that make it makes sense. Like if you're like, if

0:32:51.640 --> 0:32:54.480
<v Speaker 1>you like make work like he does with like like children, stuff,

0:32:54.520 --> 0:32:57.600
<v Speaker 1>like everything you make is like all wholesome and like nice,

0:32:57.680 --> 0:32:59.960
<v Speaker 1>You're like, you need a catharsist for all your like

0:33:00.320 --> 0:33:02.479
<v Speaker 1>fucked up ideas, you know what. That's why I assumed

0:33:02.520 --> 0:33:03.360
<v Speaker 1>he's making weird.

0:33:03.480 --> 0:33:05.760
<v Speaker 2>But that's true because everyone that I've met in my

0:33:05.840 --> 0:33:08.840
<v Speaker 2>life that outwardly do really fucked up things and the

0:33:08.880 --> 0:33:11.320
<v Speaker 2>most chill normal people interesting.

0:33:11.280 --> 0:33:16.360
<v Speaker 1>They're getting it out there. Yeah yeah, yeah, and.

0:33:14.680 --> 0:33:17.120
<v Speaker 2>We all have it and like I, you know, like

0:33:17.240 --> 0:33:19.480
<v Speaker 2>people I'm really close to when I first met them,

0:33:20.520 --> 0:33:22.640
<v Speaker 2>their career was blah blah, and then I'd be like,

0:33:23.320 --> 0:33:25.400
<v Speaker 2>oh God, this person's fucked in the head for sure.

0:33:26.200 --> 0:33:27.880
<v Speaker 2>Can I can I?

0:33:27.920 --> 0:33:30.600
<v Speaker 1>Can we talk about the thing you were telling me

0:33:30.640 --> 0:33:32.960
<v Speaker 1>about when we were walking from here to the studio

0:33:33.040 --> 0:33:34.000
<v Speaker 1>or do you not want to talk about that?

0:33:34.040 --> 0:33:34.959
<v Speaker 2>What was? It?

0:33:35.000 --> 0:33:36.360
<v Speaker 1>Was the Kermit stuff?

0:33:36.400 --> 0:33:38.920
<v Speaker 2>How much I love Oh yeah, okay.

0:33:38.640 --> 0:33:40.440
<v Speaker 1>Like can you told me you had like an album

0:33:40.480 --> 0:33:41.000
<v Speaker 1>of Kermit?

0:33:41.320 --> 0:33:43.719
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I have an album of Kermit fucked up

0:33:43.760 --> 0:33:46.440
<v Speaker 2>Kermit photos on my phone. Yeah, and I look at

0:33:46.480 --> 0:33:48.800
<v Speaker 2>them a lot, like my friends only send me Kermit.

0:33:48.880 --> 0:33:52.640
<v Speaker 2>He's like literally there's there's like they're really offensive.

0:33:52.720 --> 0:33:54.560
<v Speaker 1>It was like it was like miss Piggy like sucking

0:33:54.560 --> 0:33:54.840
<v Speaker 1>his dick.

0:33:54.960 --> 0:33:57.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Miss Piggy is sucking his dick like him, like

0:33:57.640 --> 0:34:02.400
<v Speaker 2>with his dick out him, like snorting cocaine like him,

0:34:02.440 --> 0:34:04.600
<v Speaker 2>like bondage, like tied up to a bed with like

0:34:06.640 --> 0:34:12.839
<v Speaker 2>there's like really muscly cerment. There's Cowboy Coermit. There's one

0:34:12.920 --> 0:34:14.040
<v Speaker 2>do you know goatsy.

0:34:15.440 --> 0:34:16.399
<v Speaker 1>Is that? Who is there?

0:34:16.480 --> 0:34:18.879
<v Speaker 2>That's a meme? Don't google it. It's where a guy

0:34:18.920 --> 0:34:21.200
<v Speaker 2>has bent over spreading his butthole. Don't google it.

0:34:21.239 --> 0:34:24.799
<v Speaker 1>I want to google it. G O G and he's g.

0:34:24.840 --> 0:34:28.279
<v Speaker 2>O A T people people who know what this is

0:34:29.719 --> 0:34:30.839
<v Speaker 2>on Urban Dictionary.

0:34:32.080 --> 0:34:37.920
<v Speaker 1>Oh, it says four or four.

0:34:40.440 --> 0:34:42.239
<v Speaker 2>I don't even want to look at it. But there's

0:34:42.280 --> 0:34:44.240
<v Speaker 2>I have a Kermit doing that, but he's like a puppet,

0:34:44.520 --> 0:34:47.200
<v Speaker 2>so he's bent over and he's hands of like spreading

0:34:47.200 --> 0:34:50.200
<v Speaker 2>open the puppet hole. That's one of my favorites.

0:34:50.480 --> 0:34:53.280
<v Speaker 1>Where do you find these pictures of Kermit's butthole?

0:34:53.360 --> 0:34:57.239
<v Speaker 2>Honestly, when I like imagine, like my search history is

0:34:57.280 --> 0:34:57.680
<v Speaker 2>just like.

0:34:58.160 --> 0:34:59.919
<v Speaker 1>Naked you guys definitely got a tab.

0:35:01.160 --> 0:35:04.759
<v Speaker 2>I just genuinely google like weird Kermit or fucked up

0:35:04.880 --> 0:35:09.000
<v Speaker 2>Kermit or like old Kermit. It's just like there's so

0:35:09.120 --> 0:35:11.799
<v Speaker 2>many things that people have made with Kermit that like

0:35:12.239 --> 0:35:15.120
<v Speaker 2>he's become this thing to me that just brings me

0:35:15.160 --> 0:35:18.960
<v Speaker 2>so much joy because he lived so many.

0:35:18.840 --> 0:35:20.960
<v Speaker 1>Lives and you know, it makes it kind of to

0:35:21.040 --> 0:35:24.799
<v Speaker 1>the same thing. I mean, Kermit, very wholesome, family friendly show.

0:35:24.880 --> 0:35:28.080
<v Speaker 1>Them up as show he has probably fucked up things.

0:35:28.080 --> 0:35:29.920
<v Speaker 1>That's why he wants to get like tied up, That's

0:35:29.920 --> 0:35:30.719
<v Speaker 1>why he wants to do.

0:35:33.040 --> 0:35:33.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:35:33.600 --> 0:35:34.279
<v Speaker 1>Within, But I.

0:35:34.200 --> 0:35:36.000
<v Speaker 2>Feel like a lot of people when you're in a

0:35:36.520 --> 0:35:39.560
<v Speaker 2>like you'll notice this in with you know, when you

0:35:39.600 --> 0:35:42.160
<v Speaker 2>watch a documentary of someone and it always it's always

0:35:42.160 --> 0:35:45.120
<v Speaker 2>because they're like so controlled or like they're not you

0:35:45.120 --> 0:35:45.680
<v Speaker 2>know what I'm saying.

0:35:45.840 --> 0:35:48.319
<v Speaker 1>That's why Kermit needs to let loose a little bit.

0:35:48.600 --> 0:35:51.560
<v Speaker 2>Kermit. We need Kermit at the rave.

0:35:53.200 --> 0:36:00.279
<v Speaker 1>Hello, Hi, I see j How are you sorry? They

0:36:00.280 --> 0:36:04.440
<v Speaker 1>have nothing to apologize for that I know of Oh

0:36:04.480 --> 0:36:07.279
<v Speaker 1>my god, what's what's going on with you?

0:36:10.600 --> 0:36:14.239
<v Speaker 8>Sorry? I am totally flabbergasted. I did not think this

0:36:14.320 --> 0:36:15.320
<v Speaker 8>is going to happen today.

0:36:15.560 --> 0:36:17.040
<v Speaker 1>No, do you need a second? Do you want to

0:36:17.040 --> 0:36:17.680
<v Speaker 1>take a breath?

0:36:19.320 --> 0:36:20.360
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'll give you one second.

0:36:21.280 --> 0:36:21.960
<v Speaker 1>Take a breath.

0:36:22.040 --> 0:36:24.760
<v Speaker 8>Hang out.

0:36:25.360 --> 0:36:30.560
<v Speaker 1>We're here. We're here with Uh. I'm a gecko. I'm

0:36:30.600 --> 0:36:33.320
<v Speaker 1>here with Alison. She's a gecko as well. We're two geckos.

0:36:33.320 --> 0:36:35.920
<v Speaker 1>We're talking to people on the phone. We're hanging out.

0:36:35.760 --> 0:36:36.440
<v Speaker 1>Not what's going on.

0:36:39.080 --> 0:36:41.000
<v Speaker 8>So I'll kind of tell you what I told the

0:36:41.080 --> 0:36:44.960
<v Speaker 8>call screamer. But like, please, I'm trying to hook up

0:36:45.000 --> 0:36:48.920
<v Speaker 8>with my coworker, but I can't tell if he's really

0:36:49.040 --> 0:36:52.480
<v Speaker 8>like vibing with it or not, because there's a lot

0:36:52.560 --> 0:36:57.879
<v Speaker 8>of layers to like maybe why he wouldn't vibe with it.

0:36:58.000 --> 0:37:00.680
<v Speaker 8>You know what's the ma he would?

0:37:01.920 --> 0:37:04.040
<v Speaker 2>So he said he said he would hook up with

0:37:04.080 --> 0:37:04.800
<v Speaker 2>you to you.

0:37:06.239 --> 0:37:13.600
<v Speaker 8>Yes, So like, do you want me to like explain?

0:37:14.080 --> 0:37:14.279
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

0:37:14.320 --> 0:37:17.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what what are these layers that are causing friction

0:37:17.640 --> 0:37:18.000
<v Speaker 1>with this?

0:37:20.200 --> 0:37:25.959
<v Speaker 8>Okay, So I have a fiancee and it's totally consensual

0:37:26.080 --> 0:37:29.879
<v Speaker 8>for me to hook up with other people. He knows

0:37:29.880 --> 0:37:33.799
<v Speaker 8>all about this and everything, so it's not like I'm

0:37:33.840 --> 0:37:39.600
<v Speaker 8>doing this behind their back or anything. Sure, the coworker,

0:37:41.520 --> 0:37:45.439
<v Speaker 8>but the co worker, he had a thing with one

0:37:45.440 --> 0:37:48.719
<v Speaker 8>of our other co workers and it's still very like

0:37:49.239 --> 0:37:52.239
<v Speaker 8>up in the air if they're going to like get

0:37:52.280 --> 0:37:57.759
<v Speaker 8>together or not. So, but.

0:37:59.320 --> 0:38:03.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, would you be down to like fuck this guy

0:38:03.200 --> 0:38:05.719
<v Speaker 2>just for your own satisfaction and stead the pot with

0:38:05.760 --> 0:38:07.279
<v Speaker 2>this girl? Like are you friends with this girl?

0:38:09.200 --> 0:38:09.839
<v Speaker 6>No, I'm not.

0:38:10.080 --> 0:38:13.480
<v Speaker 8>I only worked there like on the weekends, if anything,

0:38:13.560 --> 0:38:14.680
<v Speaker 8>like maybe once a month.

0:38:15.360 --> 0:38:18.920
<v Speaker 1>Can I ask when you say it's a job, when

0:38:18.960 --> 0:38:20.839
<v Speaker 1>you say it's up in the air that they might

0:38:20.880 --> 0:38:23.680
<v Speaker 1>get together. What exactly does that mean?

0:38:25.800 --> 0:38:27.120
<v Speaker 8>So from what.

0:38:27.120 --> 0:38:32.480
<v Speaker 9>I've been told of, the situation is basically like he

0:38:32.760 --> 0:38:37.360
<v Speaker 9>liked her and she liked him, and they were talking,

0:38:38.080 --> 0:38:40.800
<v Speaker 9>and then she went away to school very far away

0:38:41.320 --> 0:38:44.680
<v Speaker 9>and said, like I don't want to like have a relationship.

0:38:44.920 --> 0:38:45.799
<v Speaker 3>I'm gone, you know.

0:38:46.520 --> 0:38:51.520
<v Speaker 8>Okay, So she said that or like not that she

0:38:51.560 --> 0:38:54.759
<v Speaker 8>didn't want to that. It was like a heavy Oh,

0:38:54.960 --> 0:38:56.080
<v Speaker 8>maybe we'll get.

0:38:55.880 --> 0:39:00.479
<v Speaker 2>Together and is she coming back same?

0:39:02.120 --> 0:39:02.400
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:39:02.920 --> 0:39:05.360
<v Speaker 8>And that's like another thing is we're all supposed to

0:39:05.440 --> 0:39:10.120
<v Speaker 8>go out as like a group this weekend and she's

0:39:10.120 --> 0:39:10.839
<v Speaker 8>gonna be there.

0:39:11.840 --> 0:39:13.240
<v Speaker 2>I would suss it out this weekend.

0:39:13.360 --> 0:39:15.440
<v Speaker 1>I feel like, I mean, that's the thing about like

0:39:16.560 --> 0:39:20.840
<v Speaker 1>having sex with your coworkers and is like if things

0:39:20.920 --> 0:39:24.399
<v Speaker 1>get weird, it's like now it's it's an It's infiltrated

0:39:24.440 --> 0:39:26.640
<v Speaker 1>your day to day life. You have to see these

0:39:26.719 --> 0:39:27.840
<v Speaker 1>people all the time.

0:39:28.040 --> 0:39:30.759
<v Speaker 2>Like is this just a sex sexual thing for you

0:39:30.840 --> 0:39:32.120
<v Speaker 2>or is the feelings involved?

0:39:34.000 --> 0:39:36.719
<v Speaker 8>This is mostly just a sexual thing for me, Like

0:39:37.040 --> 0:39:41.200
<v Speaker 8>she's definitely my friend and like I have had like

0:39:41.440 --> 0:39:44.759
<v Speaker 8>a little baby crush, you know. But then we like

0:39:44.880 --> 0:39:49.160
<v Speaker 8>talked about like the dynamic of like kind of how

0:39:49.200 --> 0:39:52.480
<v Speaker 8>this would go, and it just kind of solidified for

0:39:52.600 --> 0:39:54.839
<v Speaker 8>me that no, this would just be like you are

0:39:54.880 --> 0:39:56.440
<v Speaker 8>my friends with benefits.

0:39:56.520 --> 0:40:00.359
<v Speaker 2>You know, do you think if you did this, if

0:40:00.360 --> 0:40:03.640
<v Speaker 2>you're looking at long game and big picture, and the

0:40:03.719 --> 0:40:07.160
<v Speaker 2>other girl was involved, it would get messy if she

0:40:07.239 --> 0:40:07.719
<v Speaker 2>found out.

0:40:08.239 --> 0:40:12.560
<v Speaker 8>I I don't know, because we recently talked about like

0:40:13.600 --> 0:40:16.239
<v Speaker 8>her and him having a conversation, and every time he

0:40:16.400 --> 0:40:21.440
<v Speaker 8>tells me about her, it seems like she's very uninterested

0:40:21.480 --> 0:40:26.200
<v Speaker 8>in being with him, and like she's trying to beat

0:40:26.239 --> 0:40:28.200
<v Speaker 8>around the bush of letting him down.

0:40:28.600 --> 0:40:28.840
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:40:29.600 --> 0:40:31.640
<v Speaker 1>I mean, look, this guy is single.

0:40:31.800 --> 0:40:32.440
<v Speaker 2>It's up to him.

0:40:32.480 --> 0:40:35.839
<v Speaker 1>Really, Yeah, this guy's single. The green light, you're you've

0:40:35.840 --> 0:40:38.759
<v Speaker 1>got the green light. You're in an open relationship. I

0:40:38.800 --> 0:40:41.399
<v Speaker 1>don't know what's this girl? Why is this girl? She's

0:40:41.440 --> 0:40:44.200
<v Speaker 1>all the way over in what Europe or something, and

0:40:44.239 --> 0:40:47.359
<v Speaker 1>she's influencing things going on over here.

0:40:47.480 --> 0:40:49.560
<v Speaker 2>So she's not his girlfriend and they haven't made a

0:40:49.640 --> 0:40:53.480
<v Speaker 2>committed decision to be with each other exclusively. It's not

0:40:53.600 --> 0:40:58.560
<v Speaker 2>up to you to make that decision, yeah, And like, yeah,

0:40:58.840 --> 0:40:59.680
<v Speaker 2>it is really up to him.

0:40:59.800 --> 0:41:04.080
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, yeah, Like we've tried to like arrange actually, like

0:41:04.360 --> 0:41:08.520
<v Speaker 8>you know, doing the deed, and every time I end

0:41:08.600 --> 0:41:12.319
<v Speaker 8>up being busy, and I end up being busy, and

0:41:12.360 --> 0:41:15.000
<v Speaker 8>then the next time I like bring it up, I'm like,

0:41:15.080 --> 0:41:17.200
<v Speaker 8>I'm not busy right now, Like we could do it,

0:41:17.239 --> 0:41:19.959
<v Speaker 8>and he's like yeah, but I'm just like going through

0:41:20.000 --> 0:41:24.640
<v Speaker 8>it like about her. So it's not like I worry

0:41:24.719 --> 0:41:27.399
<v Speaker 8>that if I like put it on too strong, he'll

0:41:27.400 --> 0:41:31.000
<v Speaker 8>be like, oh, but I'm so emotionally messed up now

0:41:31.120 --> 0:41:31.840
<v Speaker 8>from like, but.

0:41:32.040 --> 0:41:39.160
<v Speaker 2>Doing this, you've given him opportunity, right, Yeah.

0:41:38.239 --> 0:41:41.319
<v Speaker 1>Can I say this? I I any like in this

0:41:41.440 --> 0:41:47.960
<v Speaker 1>in the whole romantic sexual sphere of life when things

0:41:48.280 --> 0:41:53.279
<v Speaker 1>should be you know, fairly clear. And I hope that

0:41:53.320 --> 0:41:56.520
<v Speaker 1>you are not losing sleep over this, yeah, because this

0:41:56.640 --> 0:41:59.719
<v Speaker 1>is like this just sounds so annoying.

0:42:00.080 --> 0:42:01.960
<v Speaker 2>It sounds like it's going to drain you.

0:42:02.400 --> 0:42:05.680
<v Speaker 1>It's just like annoying and like, don't just don't waste

0:42:05.800 --> 0:42:07.239
<v Speaker 1>time on it. Yeah.

0:42:07.320 --> 0:42:10.880
<v Speaker 2>It sounds like he Okay, from what I'm hearing is

0:42:10.920 --> 0:42:16.000
<v Speaker 2>if he wanted to, he would, right he And he's

0:42:16.280 --> 0:42:20.800
<v Speaker 2>maybe enjoying the attention that you're giving him as a

0:42:21.040 --> 0:42:27.120
<v Speaker 2>distraction from this girl. And I'm just I just think,

0:42:27.200 --> 0:42:28.960
<v Speaker 2>like you can do better.

0:42:30.160 --> 0:42:33.799
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, go find like, go and find someone who's like, yes,

0:42:33.920 --> 0:42:35.200
<v Speaker 1>I will be there.

0:42:35.080 --> 0:42:38.719
<v Speaker 2>In five minutes. And he's like, you know you want that,

0:42:38.840 --> 0:42:43.200
<v Speaker 2>you want someone who like it's too much effort for

0:42:43.239 --> 0:42:45.000
<v Speaker 2>someone that you're not going to be in a relationship with.

0:42:45.080 --> 0:42:49.440
<v Speaker 2>It is just like, just go find like another dick.

0:42:51.200 --> 0:42:53.040
<v Speaker 1>What do you what do you think about all of that? CJ?

0:42:53.760 --> 0:42:56.480
<v Speaker 2>I love that for you have options.

0:42:58.000 --> 0:43:00.879
<v Speaker 8>It's like, I don't know, I have this weird thing

0:43:00.920 --> 0:43:04.319
<v Speaker 8>whenever people are like too gung ho about me that

0:43:04.440 --> 0:43:06.000
<v Speaker 8>I'm like, it'll leave me alone.

0:43:06.600 --> 0:43:06.799
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:43:07.080 --> 0:43:11.839
<v Speaker 8>It's some sort of attraction to the chase, and I'm

0:43:11.880 --> 0:43:13.960
<v Speaker 8>just and I also enjoy the attention.

0:43:14.160 --> 0:43:20.200
<v Speaker 1>Though, Okay, so are you are? Are you both enjoying

0:43:21.080 --> 0:43:22.239
<v Speaker 1>just fucking with each other?

0:43:24.440 --> 0:43:28.319
<v Speaker 2>Maybe maybe you just have to stop chasing him and

0:43:28.440 --> 0:43:32.960
<v Speaker 2>just like enjoy the attention and then it's up to him. Really, honestly,

0:43:34.400 --> 0:43:36.960
<v Speaker 2>at this point, you've given him so many opportunities.

0:43:38.239 --> 0:43:39.600
<v Speaker 1>CJ. Is there anything else you want to say to

0:43:39.600 --> 0:43:41.040
<v Speaker 1>the people of the computer before we go.

0:43:42.960 --> 0:43:45.319
<v Speaker 8>Live your life and have a good one?

0:43:46.160 --> 0:43:47.439
<v Speaker 1>Hell you too, man, It's good.

0:43:47.480 --> 0:43:50.760
<v Speaker 2>It's a good one. Hell yeah to CJ.

0:43:51.000 --> 0:43:53.240
<v Speaker 1>I liked CJ that hurt my brain a little bit.

0:43:53.120 --> 0:43:56.920
<v Speaker 2>Though, I honestly was just like, if you wanted to,

0:43:57.360 --> 0:44:00.319
<v Speaker 2>he would, yeah, straight up, and she deserves.

0:44:01.120 --> 0:44:03.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean I don't know that. It was just

0:44:03.560 --> 0:44:05.160
<v Speaker 1>a lot of it was just a lot of effort,

0:44:05.239 --> 0:44:08.279
<v Speaker 1>Like she knows, like she knew too much about that,

0:44:09.080 --> 0:44:10.759
<v Speaker 1>about that girl, Like why do we even know this?

0:44:11.440 --> 0:44:13.480
<v Speaker 1>Why do we know that she's what it was?

0:44:15.000 --> 0:44:16.919
<v Speaker 2>To keep it simple if it's going to be like

0:44:17.080 --> 0:44:20.680
<v Speaker 2>a sex thing again, clarity and keep it simple.

0:44:20.880 --> 0:44:24.279
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, How are you feeling, Alison? How are you

0:44:24.400 --> 0:44:26.080
<v Speaker 1>enjoying being a get goo and talking to.

0:44:26.040 --> 0:44:28.240
<v Speaker 2>People on the phone, loving and living my life?

0:44:28.400 --> 0:44:29.640
<v Speaker 1>Beautiful? Beautiful?

0:44:29.640 --> 0:44:31.160
<v Speaker 2>Great, everyone's awesome.

0:44:31.280 --> 0:44:33.120
<v Speaker 1>Everyone's been really cool. You know what I love about this?

0:44:33.200 --> 0:44:35.960
<v Speaker 1>And you know, when I first started doing this, I

0:44:36.040 --> 0:44:38.440
<v Speaker 1>was like I didn't even screen the calls. I was like,

0:44:38.480 --> 0:44:40.359
<v Speaker 1>people are just going to call in and like yell

0:44:40.520 --> 0:44:43.640
<v Speaker 1>things and not in actual conversations. But time and time

0:44:43.680 --> 0:44:45.520
<v Speaker 1>again we do this stream and people call in and

0:44:45.560 --> 0:44:49.359
<v Speaker 1>they have things going on in their lives that they

0:44:49.800 --> 0:44:50.479
<v Speaker 1>want to talk about.

0:44:50.640 --> 0:44:53.520
<v Speaker 2>You know what, you probably feel crazy before you say it,

0:44:53.680 --> 0:44:55.680
<v Speaker 2>and then when you say it out loud and someone's like,

0:44:55.760 --> 0:44:56.719
<v Speaker 2>I totally what you mean.

0:44:56.800 --> 0:44:58.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, people in chat are like, holy shit, I feel this.

0:44:58.880 --> 0:45:02.480
<v Speaker 2>You totally feel not alone anymore and validated. I'm actually

0:45:02.520 --> 0:45:05.560
<v Speaker 2>so impressed that she was just like, had that chat

0:45:05.600 --> 0:45:07.759
<v Speaker 2>with I would never be I'd be so bad at that.

0:45:08.640 --> 0:45:11.680
<v Speaker 2>I've never been able to be like, yo, so would

0:45:11.719 --> 0:45:12.360
<v Speaker 2>you hook up with me?

0:45:12.400 --> 0:45:14.799
<v Speaker 1>Like? I've never oh with the guy with.

0:45:15.719 --> 0:45:17.680
<v Speaker 2>Just the guy like no, no, not like the guy

0:45:17.760 --> 0:45:19.759
<v Speaker 2>like going up to someone in general and saying that

0:45:19.840 --> 0:45:20.239
<v Speaker 2>to me, do.

0:45:20.200 --> 0:45:20.880
<v Speaker 1>You hook up with me?

0:45:21.000 --> 0:45:22.400
<v Speaker 2>I could never could never do.

0:45:22.880 --> 0:45:28.480
<v Speaker 1>I respect that she has the uh, the the gusta

0:45:28.680 --> 0:45:31.960
<v Speaker 1>like before and about it. I'm sure the guy appreciates

0:45:31.960 --> 0:45:33.600
<v Speaker 1>it too, because it's good to know what people are

0:45:33.600 --> 0:45:35.320
<v Speaker 1>thinking and feeling about things.

0:45:35.360 --> 0:45:37.960
<v Speaker 2>There's no way I would be able to do it.

0:45:38.000 --> 0:45:42.160
<v Speaker 2>I'd be terrible at it, be like so egg plant

0:45:42.160 --> 0:45:43.600
<v Speaker 2>emergeny question mark.

0:45:43.920 --> 0:45:49.280
<v Speaker 5>Mike, Hey, wile Alison, how are you hello?

0:45:49.480 --> 0:45:51.560
<v Speaker 1>What's up? Dude?

0:45:51.960 --> 0:45:54.839
<v Speaker 5>Not too much? I'm excited, be on. I didn't think

0:45:54.880 --> 0:45:55.520
<v Speaker 5>this would happen.

0:45:56.960 --> 0:46:00.560
<v Speaker 1>Hey, you know, uh, I never thought that I would

0:46:00.640 --> 0:46:02.319
<v Speaker 1>be sitting here in a get go suit. I don't

0:46:02.320 --> 0:46:04.400
<v Speaker 1>think Alison ever thought she was sitting here in a

0:46:04.400 --> 0:46:04.960
<v Speaker 1>get go suit.

0:46:05.320 --> 0:46:06.720
<v Speaker 2>It's the best thing that's happened.

0:46:06.800 --> 0:46:09.200
<v Speaker 1>All three of us are currently existing in a situation

0:46:09.280 --> 0:46:12.920
<v Speaker 1>we never thought whatever happened, so we all share that

0:46:13.000 --> 0:46:15.640
<v Speaker 1>in common. What's going on with Mike?

0:46:16.200 --> 0:46:20.160
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, Well, speaking of things that we never thought

0:46:20.200 --> 0:46:22.520
<v Speaker 5>would happen. Part of the reason I called today is

0:46:22.520 --> 0:46:25.239
<v Speaker 5>because today I'm at a point in my life where

0:46:25.239 --> 0:46:28.480
<v Speaker 5>I'm proud to say I've been sober for over five years.

0:46:28.680 --> 0:46:34.719
<v Speaker 5>And six years ago, I thank you, yeah. And six

0:46:34.800 --> 0:46:37.040
<v Speaker 5>years ago, I was like on the verge of death,

0:46:37.320 --> 0:46:39.919
<v Speaker 5>didn't want to exist any longer. And so the fact

0:46:39.960 --> 0:46:42.160
<v Speaker 5>that I'm here where I am now, and I'm not

0:46:42.200 --> 0:46:45.480
<v Speaker 5>going to give all the details and tell my whole story,

0:46:45.480 --> 0:46:47.360
<v Speaker 5>but I'm kicking ass in life right now. I'm so

0:46:47.400 --> 0:46:52.560
<v Speaker 5>proud of myself. My family relationships are incredible, my career

0:46:52.640 --> 0:46:56.279
<v Speaker 5>has skyrocketed. But most importantly, I'm just like proud of

0:46:56.400 --> 0:46:59.719
<v Speaker 5>me and who I am. And I try my best

0:46:59.760 --> 0:47:04.840
<v Speaker 5>to use Yeah. So, you know, I make efforts in

0:47:04.960 --> 0:47:09.000
<v Speaker 5>like the Sobriety and Recovery community to help other people,

0:47:10.160 --> 0:47:13.799
<v Speaker 5>other younger men who have had similar struggles and you know,

0:47:13.880 --> 0:47:16.040
<v Speaker 5>share a bit of my story and experience strength and

0:47:16.040 --> 0:47:20.480
<v Speaker 5>hope to help them out and in that realm I'm comfortable.

0:47:20.600 --> 0:47:23.759
<v Speaker 5>And then I have like the career world, like the

0:47:23.920 --> 0:47:26.960
<v Speaker 5>professional people mis their business, and this is business people

0:47:27.000 --> 0:47:29.279
<v Speaker 5>where I almost feel like I have to hide a

0:47:29.280 --> 0:47:32.600
<v Speaker 5>bit of myself because when I'm at work, I've had

0:47:32.600 --> 0:47:35.479
<v Speaker 5>the same job for seven years, there's not many people

0:47:35.600 --> 0:47:38.799
<v Speaker 5>left that even knew I was struggling with alcoholism, that

0:47:38.880 --> 0:47:41.480
<v Speaker 5>even had any idea something was going on. So at

0:47:41.480 --> 0:47:46.200
<v Speaker 5>the workplace and in another side business I do, many

0:47:46.239 --> 0:47:50.319
<v Speaker 5>people just know I don't drink, and usually when that

0:47:50.480 --> 0:47:52.160
<v Speaker 5>comes up, where a drink is offered to me, I

0:47:52.239 --> 0:47:54.600
<v Speaker 5>just say, hey, I'm not interested, like not my thing,

0:47:54.640 --> 0:47:56.880
<v Speaker 5>and usually they're like, ah, cool, and they just assume

0:47:56.880 --> 0:47:59.600
<v Speaker 5>it's because they know them in the working out, or

0:47:59.600 --> 0:48:02.560
<v Speaker 5>they just think I'm being healthy or whatever it may be.

0:48:03.320 --> 0:48:04.440
<v Speaker 3>But so, is.

0:48:06.040 --> 0:48:10.080
<v Speaker 1>This aspect of your life something that you are are

0:48:10.239 --> 0:48:14.319
<v Speaker 1>afraid of talking to people about or ashamed of people knowing?

0:48:16.160 --> 0:48:16.600
<v Speaker 6>You know what?

0:48:16.960 --> 0:48:18.680
<v Speaker 5>In the last I'd say, I don't know, I'm not

0:48:18.760 --> 0:48:21.239
<v Speaker 5>going to concrete time on it. But in the last

0:48:21.280 --> 0:48:25.920
<v Speaker 5>two years I've been I turned a corner where like

0:48:26.080 --> 0:48:28.319
<v Speaker 5>when I get to know new people, one of the

0:48:28.360 --> 0:48:31.440
<v Speaker 5>first things I'll tell them is that I don't drink,

0:48:31.680 --> 0:48:33.800
<v Speaker 5>and I don't know why that changed, but it feels

0:48:33.800 --> 0:48:37.040
<v Speaker 5>important to tell people and I'm proud of it. But

0:48:37.120 --> 0:48:40.040
<v Speaker 5>the part that is difficult to discuss and where I

0:48:40.280 --> 0:48:43.400
<v Speaker 5>like why I'm hearing this call reaching out for some

0:48:43.440 --> 0:48:48.600
<v Speaker 5>help and guidance because is in my drinking. I caused

0:48:48.640 --> 0:48:51.640
<v Speaker 5>a lot of wreckage. I'd like family for a year

0:48:51.719 --> 0:48:53.440
<v Speaker 5>for a while, didn't want anything to do with me,

0:48:54.000 --> 0:48:56.839
<v Speaker 5>and I got three DUIs And anyone in the US

0:48:56.960 --> 0:48:59.319
<v Speaker 5>know what that knows what that means. You lose your

0:48:59.320 --> 0:49:03.560
<v Speaker 5>license for ten years. So people that meet me now

0:49:04.440 --> 0:49:07.120
<v Speaker 5>can't even fathom that that's something that's going on with me.

0:49:07.280 --> 0:49:10.839
<v Speaker 5>So I have like a quote unquote professional job, and

0:49:11.400 --> 0:49:13.719
<v Speaker 5>you know, if you look at people don't think alcoholic

0:49:13.760 --> 0:49:17.799
<v Speaker 5>when they see me. And that lack of having a

0:49:17.880 --> 0:49:22.200
<v Speaker 5>license has been preventing has been holding me back. And

0:49:22.600 --> 0:49:24.960
<v Speaker 5>it's a personal battle more so than anything. Because I'm

0:49:24.960 --> 0:49:28.080
<v Speaker 5>not afraid to tell people I don't drink, but when

0:49:28.080 --> 0:49:31.520
<v Speaker 5>there's a social engagement or something going on and it

0:49:31.640 --> 0:49:33.960
<v Speaker 5>involves driving or I need a car to get there,

0:49:34.960 --> 0:49:39.319
<v Speaker 5>I keep finding myself making excuses to not go because

0:49:39.320 --> 0:49:42.160
<v Speaker 5>I'm afraid someone's going to find out or ask what

0:49:42.600 --> 0:49:45.319
<v Speaker 5>like find out I don't have a car, or ask

0:49:45.480 --> 0:49:47.480
<v Speaker 5>like why I'm not driving and I don't have a

0:49:47.520 --> 0:49:48.400
<v Speaker 5>good answer for that.

0:49:48.520 --> 0:49:51.959
<v Speaker 1>As so you're afraid that people will find out about

0:49:52.000 --> 0:49:55.080
<v Speaker 1>the three DUIs.

0:49:54.400 --> 0:49:59.239
<v Speaker 5>Right, and so a perfect example microcosmo of this is

0:49:59.320 --> 0:50:02.600
<v Speaker 5>last Friday, some friends from work went out and it

0:50:02.680 --> 0:50:05.120
<v Speaker 5>sounded like a good time. I was game to go

0:50:05.200 --> 0:50:10.719
<v Speaker 5>out and experiences for them, and it was. But then

0:50:10.719 --> 0:50:12.680
<v Speaker 5>when they told me the location, it was like forty

0:50:12.680 --> 0:50:15.239
<v Speaker 5>minutes in the wrong direction away from work, and I

0:50:15.320 --> 0:50:18.879
<v Speaker 5>didn't like, there's no public transportation. That was a good option,

0:50:18.960 --> 0:50:21.000
<v Speaker 5>and Uber is always an option too, but I was like, oh,

0:50:21.040 --> 0:50:23.440
<v Speaker 5>they're going to see me pull up in an Uber

0:50:23.520 --> 0:50:25.440
<v Speaker 5>and call for a neubrun away home and couldn't ask

0:50:25.520 --> 0:50:26.080
<v Speaker 5>that question.

0:50:26.719 --> 0:50:30.520
<v Speaker 1>So also, you seem like you have some thoughts, so

0:50:30.600 --> 0:50:31.240
<v Speaker 1>many thoughts.

0:50:31.320 --> 0:50:36.239
<v Speaker 2>Firstly, congratulations Again, I was very intimately close with an

0:50:36.280 --> 0:50:40.440
<v Speaker 2>addict for a many amount of years who's now sober,

0:50:40.640 --> 0:50:42.920
<v Speaker 2>yeah and amazing, But during that time did a lot

0:50:42.960 --> 0:50:45.640
<v Speaker 2>of damage and was a completely different person. And I

0:50:45.800 --> 0:50:48.440
<v Speaker 2>was literally right next to them the entire time whilst

0:50:48.520 --> 0:50:51.560
<v Speaker 2>they were in that and recovery. So I understand how

0:50:51.600 --> 0:50:56.960
<v Speaker 2>difficult that is. And I honestly think you're incredibly strong

0:50:57.040 --> 0:50:59.880
<v Speaker 2>and fucking cool for that, for sobering up and getting

0:50:59.880 --> 0:51:02.239
<v Speaker 2>a life together, because it's very difficult, and I've seen

0:51:02.280 --> 0:51:05.920
<v Speaker 2>it firsthand and and it was actually really hard for

0:51:05.960 --> 0:51:08.239
<v Speaker 2>me to I had to go to alan On to

0:51:09.480 --> 0:51:11.680
<v Speaker 2>deal with my side of it, because you know, you

0:51:11.760 --> 0:51:14.480
<v Speaker 2>have to forgive that. And so I think there's like

0:51:14.520 --> 0:51:17.879
<v Speaker 2>a lot of heaviness when you think about the reason

0:51:17.960 --> 0:51:20.160
<v Speaker 2>why you can't drive associated with why you can't drive.

0:51:20.200 --> 0:51:22.239
<v Speaker 2>I don't think it's actually the fact that you can't drive,

0:51:22.280 --> 0:51:26.560
<v Speaker 2>because to be honest, I don't fucking drive in this

0:51:26.840 --> 0:51:29.400
<v Speaker 2>country at all. I take it was everywhere because I

0:51:29.400 --> 0:51:33.719
<v Speaker 2>don't know. But I think because I think there's like

0:51:33.800 --> 0:51:36.719
<v Speaker 2>just a trauma and maybe like something that you don't

0:51:36.719 --> 0:51:39.920
<v Speaker 2>even realize that it's like associated with the narrative of

0:51:39.960 --> 0:51:43.240
<v Speaker 2>you not driving that's making you feel embarrassed when again,

0:51:43.440 --> 0:51:45.839
<v Speaker 2>everyone I doubt firstly is going to notice that you're

0:51:45.840 --> 0:51:47.759
<v Speaker 2>taking an uber or question it. If you're going on

0:51:47.800 --> 0:51:51.040
<v Speaker 2>a night out, doesn't matter even if you don't drink.

0:51:51.360 --> 0:51:58.400
<v Speaker 2>And I think it's you also don't owe anyone an explanation.

0:51:59.160 --> 0:52:01.920
<v Speaker 2>You set your own bou for that if they do ask,

0:52:02.960 --> 0:52:06.319
<v Speaker 2>and they should be able to respect that. And I

0:52:06.360 --> 0:52:12.000
<v Speaker 2>think just knowing that you, like, yes, that is something

0:52:12.000 --> 0:52:14.120
<v Speaker 2>that that happened in its ten years because you had

0:52:13.840 --> 0:52:16.880
<v Speaker 2>three DUIs and you don't don't have a license anymore.

0:52:17.000 --> 0:52:22.040
<v Speaker 2>But focusing on that one negative compared to the amazing

0:52:22.160 --> 0:52:25.160
<v Speaker 2>positives that you've just told us that are like incredible

0:52:25.280 --> 0:52:29.360
<v Speaker 2>and not many people get to recover like that is

0:52:30.600 --> 0:52:35.759
<v Speaker 2>like maybe limiting you a little bit, Dad, Do you

0:52:35.800 --> 0:52:36.239
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean?

0:52:37.840 --> 0:52:38.040
<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

0:52:38.920 --> 0:52:42.839
<v Speaker 2>And I think, like, yeah, I think it's not a

0:52:42.960 --> 0:52:45.000
<v Speaker 2>it's a big deal in your head because you associate

0:52:45.040 --> 0:52:48.799
<v Speaker 2>it with such a dark time in your life, But outwardly,

0:52:48.960 --> 0:52:51.759
<v Speaker 2>I really don't think that people are thinking like that

0:52:51.840 --> 0:52:54.200
<v Speaker 2>because it's not their experience.

0:52:57.080 --> 0:52:59.440
<v Speaker 5>Now I feel that, I know, my mind jumps to

0:52:59.520 --> 0:53:03.360
<v Speaker 5>the worst possible outcome of them saying, look in my

0:53:03.520 --> 0:53:05.960
<v Speaker 5>googling my name and saying that the uys come up

0:53:06.040 --> 0:53:09.880
<v Speaker 5>and that that is irrational, right, Like I get that

0:53:09.920 --> 0:53:10.759
<v Speaker 5>as I'm saying it to you.

0:53:10.840 --> 0:53:13.879
<v Speaker 2>But even if I did, moment, yeah, but even if

0:53:13.880 --> 0:53:16.239
<v Speaker 2>they did, you go, yeah, okay. But now I work

0:53:16.280 --> 0:53:19.240
<v Speaker 2>with the community. I've turned my entire fucking life around.

0:53:19.320 --> 0:53:23.080
<v Speaker 2>I've been sober for five years, and it was it

0:53:23.120 --> 0:53:26.319
<v Speaker 2>was being rock bottom changed my life for the better.

0:53:26.520 --> 0:53:29.520
<v Speaker 2>Like that's a you can turn that into a positive.

0:53:29.520 --> 0:53:32.080
<v Speaker 2>It's actually not a negative thing. If you've gotten out

0:53:32.080 --> 0:53:36.440
<v Speaker 2>of it. It's actually so inspirational, more than you realize.

0:53:38.960 --> 0:53:42.839
<v Speaker 5>I appreciate that coming from you or from anyone really,

0:53:42.880 --> 0:53:46.680
<v Speaker 5>but yeah, I need to hear that again and again

0:53:46.760 --> 0:53:50.640
<v Speaker 5>and again, because I myself talk sometimes talks me in

0:53:50.640 --> 0:53:54.640
<v Speaker 5>the wrong direction. But you know, right now, I'm I'm

0:53:54.640 --> 0:53:57.080
<v Speaker 5>feeling pretty good about that, you know. And I got

0:53:57.120 --> 0:53:58.600
<v Speaker 5>to practice, you know. I think if I just do

0:53:58.719 --> 0:54:01.840
<v Speaker 5>it more often, it'll get easier again.

0:54:01.960 --> 0:54:04.120
<v Speaker 2>And and no one if you're honest, firstly, you don't

0:54:04.160 --> 0:54:07.399
<v Speaker 2>have to you don't owe anyone anything. But secondly, if

0:54:07.440 --> 0:54:10.200
<v Speaker 2>you're honest, and I mean, this is a success story,

0:54:10.239 --> 0:54:12.000
<v Speaker 2>it's not a fail story. It's amazing.

0:54:12.680 --> 0:54:18.759
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, you know, yeah, that's true. I'm worried that, you know,

0:54:18.880 --> 0:54:21.440
<v Speaker 5>I'm worried about the perception of DUIs and criminals, like

0:54:21.480 --> 0:54:24.080
<v Speaker 5>I'm a bad person. But really, you're right, Like I

0:54:24.600 --> 0:54:27.520
<v Speaker 5>just need to put myself out there. They don't take

0:54:27.600 --> 0:54:30.520
<v Speaker 5>me for who I am. Then that's that's their loss.

0:54:30.640 --> 0:54:31.680
<v Speaker 5>I guess you know, I got.

0:54:31.480 --> 0:54:34.440
<v Speaker 1>To well, you know, look, Mike, Mike, I think in

0:54:34.520 --> 0:54:39.359
<v Speaker 1>thinking about uh, you know, criminality and thinking about you know,

0:54:39.600 --> 0:54:47.560
<v Speaker 1>labeling yourself as bad or good is is a little unproductive.

0:54:47.680 --> 0:54:50.600
<v Speaker 1>And I think, you know, where you stand on the

0:54:50.640 --> 0:54:57.279
<v Speaker 1>earth at this moment, Uh, the past does not necessarily

0:54:57.320 --> 0:55:00.920
<v Speaker 1>have to define you. And I think, uh, in terms

0:55:00.920 --> 0:55:06.399
<v Speaker 1>of what you desire to do, moving forward should be

0:55:06.800 --> 0:55:11.600
<v Speaker 1>unaffected by anything in your past. So, you know, if

0:55:11.600 --> 0:55:15.680
<v Speaker 1>you were to label yourself as bad, you prevent yourself

0:55:15.800 --> 0:55:20.600
<v Speaker 1>from moving forward positively, which is a travesty to to

0:55:20.760 --> 0:55:24.200
<v Speaker 1>the world because we want more people to try to

0:55:24.239 --> 0:55:30.080
<v Speaker 1>move forward positively. And yeah, I just hope that you,

0:55:30.080 --> 0:55:32.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, feeling powered to do that. What is it exactly,

0:55:32.719 --> 0:55:34.719
<v Speaker 1>you know, moving forward in your life that you want

0:55:34.760 --> 0:55:34.920
<v Speaker 1>to do.

0:55:37.760 --> 0:55:41.359
<v Speaker 5>I want to raise a family and you know, help

0:55:41.440 --> 0:55:45.360
<v Speaker 5>protect the environment and create a site based stable society.

0:55:46.120 --> 0:55:48.960
<v Speaker 5>But yeah, in my professional career, I'm in a position

0:55:49.000 --> 0:55:52.360
<v Speaker 5>where I can help produce the impact of of my

0:55:52.440 --> 0:55:56.080
<v Speaker 5>industry on the environment. And that's the career that.

0:55:57.840 --> 0:56:02.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we love a sustainable care Well, hell, you're honestly

0:56:02.080 --> 0:56:05.800
<v Speaker 2>feeling it, yes, and honestly set.

0:56:05.600 --> 0:56:07.399
<v Speaker 5>Boundaries sustainability committee at work.

0:56:08.640 --> 0:56:10.520
<v Speaker 2>That's amazing. But you know what you should do if

0:56:10.600 --> 0:56:14.840
<v Speaker 2>you are struggling to you know, keep practicing and telling yourself.

0:56:15.120 --> 0:56:17.600
<v Speaker 2>What you could do is set boundaries and like almost

0:56:17.600 --> 0:56:20.719
<v Speaker 2>write yourself like a little script of what you are

0:56:20.800 --> 0:56:23.120
<v Speaker 2>okay with saying, you know, just for yourself.

0:56:23.760 --> 0:56:24.120
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:56:24.160 --> 0:56:26.840
<v Speaker 2>And then when someone says, like you haven't have you

0:56:26.840 --> 0:56:30.040
<v Speaker 2>seen the rehearsal Nathan Field up, Like, you know, just

0:56:30.239 --> 0:56:32.839
<v Speaker 2>kind of prepare yourself a little bit so that when

0:56:33.000 --> 0:56:36.560
<v Speaker 2>that comes, because inevitably it probably will, just say that.

0:56:36.680 --> 0:56:39.800
<v Speaker 2>And again, I promise you right now, if you told

0:56:39.840 --> 0:56:43.279
<v Speaker 2>someone even ten percent of what you told us, they

0:56:43.320 --> 0:56:45.399
<v Speaker 2>would think you're dope as hell.

0:56:47.760 --> 0:56:51.000
<v Speaker 5>I appreciate that I've let a couple of bad experiences

0:56:51.080 --> 0:56:54.520
<v Speaker 5>or bad conversations jade my thought processes. But your guys,

0:56:54.760 --> 0:56:56.760
<v Speaker 5>you're helped me set my mind right on the right track.

0:56:57.360 --> 0:56:57.879
<v Speaker 5>Love it, Mike.

0:56:57.920 --> 0:56:59.120
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything else you want to say to the

0:56:59.120 --> 0:57:01.240
<v Speaker 1>people of the computer or to me or Allison before

0:57:01.280 --> 0:57:01.520
<v Speaker 1>you go?

0:57:02.880 --> 0:57:05.760
<v Speaker 5>Sure real quick. Alison, your music has been the theme

0:57:05.840 --> 0:57:07.960
<v Speaker 5>song to my recovery over the last few years. Ever

0:57:07.960 --> 0:57:10.600
<v Speaker 5>since I discovered your music. Thank you for being you

0:57:11.120 --> 0:57:15.840
<v Speaker 5>and for sharing your experience. That's I couldn't tell you.

0:57:15.880 --> 0:57:17.520
<v Speaker 5>I'm the only one of my friend group that listens

0:57:17.560 --> 0:57:20.080
<v Speaker 5>to you and and and it's my thing. Early in

0:57:20.120 --> 0:57:22.480
<v Speaker 5>the show, you talked about things that are yours and

0:57:22.560 --> 0:57:25.800
<v Speaker 5>not something you do with your friends. My first time

0:57:25.840 --> 0:57:28.280
<v Speaker 5>I saw you live was by myself, and I was

0:57:28.320 --> 0:57:32.040
<v Speaker 5>perfectly happy going by myself. And that's when I heard

0:57:32.040 --> 0:57:34.320
<v Speaker 5>that when you started the show off like that, and

0:57:34.400 --> 0:57:37.320
<v Speaker 5>I just went the Red Rocks with my brother. Wasn't

0:57:37.360 --> 0:57:40.120
<v Speaker 5>trusted to be with me alone when I was in

0:57:40.160 --> 0:57:43.200
<v Speaker 5>my drinking and I took them the Red Rocks sober,

0:57:43.240 --> 0:57:45.360
<v Speaker 5>and you know, my family was happy that, you know,

0:57:45.480 --> 0:57:47.600
<v Speaker 5>it was a brother experience. And then for anyone out there,

0:57:48.280 --> 0:57:51.919
<v Speaker 5>I just if you're struggling with something, ask for help,

0:57:52.000 --> 0:57:54.480
<v Speaker 5>Ask your family, ask your friends, ask a therapist, ask

0:57:54.520 --> 0:57:57.840
<v Speaker 5>two people just up in Gecko costumes, because having the

0:57:57.880 --> 0:58:00.440
<v Speaker 5>willingness to ask for help is the only way you

0:58:00.440 --> 0:58:03.920
<v Speaker 5>can recover and overcome anything. You know, you're never alone

0:58:04.160 --> 0:58:06.160
<v Speaker 5>if you just have that willingness is the hardest part.

0:58:06.200 --> 0:58:09.840
<v Speaker 5>But just ask anyone for help and something will stick

0:58:09.880 --> 0:58:11.080
<v Speaker 5>and it will help you get all and move on

0:58:11.120 --> 0:58:11.640
<v Speaker 5>to the next thing.

0:58:13.760 --> 0:58:18.880
<v Speaker 1>Thank you. Very much for going cry, have a good

0:58:18.920 --> 0:58:21.080
<v Speaker 1>rest of the night and keep keep on keeping on.

0:58:22.280 --> 0:58:23.320
<v Speaker 2>Hell, yeah you will.

0:58:26.920 --> 0:58:27.440
<v Speaker 3>I take care.

0:58:29.200 --> 0:58:29.520
<v Speaker 6>You know.

0:58:30.840 --> 0:58:33.120
<v Speaker 2>This is I'm like, don't cry?

0:58:33.680 --> 0:58:34.040
<v Speaker 1>Do you do?

0:58:34.080 --> 0:58:34.360
<v Speaker 2>You do?

0:58:34.400 --> 0:58:35.920
<v Speaker 1>You have a lot of opportunities where you get to,

0:58:35.960 --> 0:58:37.760
<v Speaker 1>like really talk to your fans, because the whole thing

0:58:37.840 --> 0:58:39.320
<v Speaker 1>is like talking to the people who listen to.

0:58:39.360 --> 0:58:42.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm very close with my fans, cool, very close with yes,

0:58:42.720 --> 0:58:43.200
<v Speaker 2>my family.

0:58:43.800 --> 0:58:47.280
<v Speaker 1>You know, Mike has an interesting thing, and he is

0:58:47.320 --> 0:58:49.520
<v Speaker 1>a thing that I think about a lot lately. I

0:58:49.520 --> 0:58:55.840
<v Speaker 1>think societally, we are very obsessed with labels. This person

0:58:56.000 --> 0:58:59.280
<v Speaker 1>is bad, this person is good, this person is this,

0:58:59.280 --> 0:59:03.040
<v Speaker 1>this person is that, and for whatever reason, justifiably so,

0:59:03.200 --> 0:59:06.480
<v Speaker 1>you might have to apply that label. And you know,

0:59:06.520 --> 0:59:11.000
<v Speaker 1>people are compelled to apply those labels because those people

0:59:11.640 --> 0:59:15.680
<v Speaker 1>do things that elicit very emotional reactions.

0:59:15.800 --> 0:59:17.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, it's also just now, especially in the age of

0:59:17.800 --> 0:59:22.040
<v Speaker 2>social media, everything is so instant, instant opinion, instant gratification,

0:59:22.680 --> 0:59:27.000
<v Speaker 2>instant definition. It's like way more labeled than it ever

0:59:27.080 --> 0:59:27.480
<v Speaker 2>has been.

0:59:27.560 --> 0:59:34.280
<v Speaker 1>I feel, and you know, Mike is struggling with delabeling

0:59:34.360 --> 0:59:38.600
<v Speaker 1>himself so that he can as a human body on

0:59:38.640 --> 0:59:43.200
<v Speaker 1>the universe. Right now, move forward, productively and that's just

0:59:43.240 --> 0:59:43.720
<v Speaker 1>what we want.

0:59:44.080 --> 0:59:48.440
<v Speaker 2>Sounds like he's doing that which so many people struggle with,

0:59:48.560 --> 0:59:53.200
<v Speaker 2>so it's so cool. Makes me like even yeah he he.

0:59:54.120 --> 0:59:58.720
<v Speaker 2>It was very very familiar story and like close to me,

0:59:58.760 --> 1:00:00.320
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, oh my gosh, okay, yeah, no,

1:00:00.400 --> 1:00:02.720
<v Speaker 2>I get it, and no one should judge you when

1:00:02.720 --> 1:00:04.800
<v Speaker 2>you're trying to change it's it's probably very hard.

1:00:05.280 --> 1:00:08.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, I uh yeah, it's a big it's a

1:00:08.320 --> 1:00:11.760
<v Speaker 1>big thing. I guess. I guess we're trying to hoing

1:00:11.840 --> 1:00:13.920
<v Speaker 1>in on that. I feel like it's so easy to

1:00:14.040 --> 1:00:16.760
<v Speaker 1>get all pissed off all the time.

1:00:16.880 --> 1:00:18.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh my gosh, it's so easy. I got pissed off.

1:00:18.640 --> 1:00:19.760
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, all the time.

1:00:20.200 --> 1:00:22.160
<v Speaker 1>What was the last thing that really pissed you off?

1:00:23.120 --> 1:00:27.160
<v Speaker 2>My manager drove me today here because I don't drive,

1:00:28.200 --> 1:00:30.600
<v Speaker 2>and he was vaping in the car and I lost

1:00:30.640 --> 1:00:32.560
<v Speaker 2>my ship and I was just like, well, the air

1:00:32.600 --> 1:00:34.440
<v Speaker 2>conditionings are like nah, you.

1:00:34.400 --> 1:00:36.560
<v Speaker 1>Know, I don't. I don't vape, but I like when

1:00:36.560 --> 1:00:39.160
<v Speaker 1>other when people around me vapes, because I think, yeah,

1:00:39.200 --> 1:00:42.920
<v Speaker 1>like when someone has a fucking like Captain Crunch vape

1:00:42.960 --> 1:00:45.680
<v Speaker 1>or something that I'm into that so chemically.

1:00:45.720 --> 1:00:48.720
<v Speaker 2>And I was like like get it the fuck away

1:00:48.720 --> 1:00:51.280
<v Speaker 2>from me. Bro Okay, look at my feet. Do you

1:00:51.320 --> 1:00:55.080
<v Speaker 2>think that I could go on only fans with me? Yeah?

1:00:55.120 --> 1:00:59.040
<v Speaker 1>So then you then you'd be diluting my only fans market,

1:00:59.040 --> 1:01:01.320
<v Speaker 1>because what if we did it joint feet a joint

1:01:01.360 --> 1:01:04.720
<v Speaker 1>feet pick gecko only fans. Yeah, this has to be

1:01:05.240 --> 1:01:06.680
<v Speaker 1>there's something in the works with that.

1:01:07.280 --> 1:01:10.000
<v Speaker 2>I feel like there's always someone that there's one person,

1:01:10.000 --> 1:01:13.000
<v Speaker 2>at least one person in the world that like checks

1:01:13.000 --> 1:01:13.920
<v Speaker 2>off to gecko feet.

1:01:15.920 --> 1:01:20.960
<v Speaker 1>Hello, Hello, Hi? Is this Don?

1:01:22.480 --> 1:01:22.800
<v Speaker 2>Hello?

1:01:22.880 --> 1:01:25.040
<v Speaker 1>This is Don Don.

1:01:25.080 --> 1:01:27.400
<v Speaker 3>How are you good?

1:01:27.600 --> 1:01:27.840
<v Speaker 1>Good?

1:01:27.920 --> 1:01:30.840
<v Speaker 3>How are you guys with these doctor geckos? How are

1:01:30.840 --> 1:01:31.280
<v Speaker 3>you tonight?

1:01:32.280 --> 1:01:36.920
<v Speaker 1>We're good, doing pretty good, Don. Look, it says here

1:01:37.000 --> 1:01:42.920
<v Speaker 1>that you have an eighteen year old son who you

1:01:42.960 --> 1:01:46.920
<v Speaker 1>say refuses to get a job and needs motivation. Is

1:01:46.960 --> 1:01:48.000
<v Speaker 1>that correct?

1:01:48.960 --> 1:01:51.600
<v Speaker 3>That is that is one correct?

1:01:51.720 --> 1:01:53.640
<v Speaker 1>Okay? Do you do you want to go into this

1:01:53.760 --> 1:01:55.360
<v Speaker 1>within your own words?

1:01:57.400 --> 1:02:02.720
<v Speaker 3>Sure, I'll give you a little bit of background, Yeah please, yeah. Yeah.

1:02:02.760 --> 1:02:07.280
<v Speaker 3>He's almost hatby nineteen in December, he's graduated high school

1:02:07.320 --> 1:02:10.160
<v Speaker 3>about two years ago. Now, he's with a ged we

1:02:10.440 --> 1:02:15.960
<v Speaker 3>did it online during COVID and has gotten very complacent

1:02:16.120 --> 1:02:21.120
<v Speaker 3>with paying at home and not being social and doesn't

1:02:21.160 --> 1:02:25.720
<v Speaker 3>have any friends anymore, and now it's time to get

1:02:25.760 --> 1:02:29.720
<v Speaker 3>a job and he's just doesn't He's not going out.

1:02:29.920 --> 1:02:32.520
<v Speaker 3>He has a lot of anxiety. I think too about it.

1:02:32.560 --> 1:02:37.560
<v Speaker 3>But he's always been a social person before all this happens.

1:02:37.680 --> 1:02:41.640
<v Speaker 3>So it's I'm not sure where to go with him

1:02:41.680 --> 1:02:45.560
<v Speaker 3>with it. It's he's just anything we've tried. He wants

1:02:45.600 --> 1:02:50.200
<v Speaker 3>to do therapy, but wants to do in person, which

1:02:50.280 --> 1:02:53.120
<v Speaker 3>is hard because he gets very particular with therapists and

1:02:53.240 --> 1:02:58.400
<v Speaker 3>won't talk to people. I need some advice.

1:02:59.240 --> 1:03:02.400
<v Speaker 2>Well, the fact that he open to going to therapy's amazing. Honestly,

1:03:02.640 --> 1:03:04.720
<v Speaker 2>I think that's a really good positive And I think

1:03:05.720 --> 1:03:08.400
<v Speaker 2>letting him know that he's understood and like not alone

1:03:08.560 --> 1:03:13.760
<v Speaker 2>in feeling a little changed from the pandemic when we're

1:03:13.800 --> 1:03:17.160
<v Speaker 2>all alone and kind of forgetting how to be social.

1:03:17.280 --> 1:03:20.000
<v Speaker 2>I think a lot of us went through that, so again,

1:03:20.160 --> 1:03:23.720
<v Speaker 2>like that is something that you should remind him. And

1:03:24.280 --> 1:03:26.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I just remember my dad kicking me

1:03:26.240 --> 1:03:26.880
<v Speaker 2>out of the house.

1:03:27.520 --> 1:03:29.400
<v Speaker 1>Your dad could care of the house when you're eighteen.

1:03:29.120 --> 1:03:31.120
<v Speaker 2>He's like, time to go to the net.

1:03:31.360 --> 1:03:32.080
<v Speaker 1>Really, I love it.

1:03:32.120 --> 1:03:34.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad he did it. I love my dad.

1:03:34.280 --> 1:03:36.600
<v Speaker 1>Do you are you suggesting that Dawn kick her son

1:03:36.600 --> 1:03:37.200
<v Speaker 1>out of the house.

1:03:38.000 --> 1:03:40.200
<v Speaker 2>My dad literally went time to leave the nest.

1:03:41.000 --> 1:03:42.000
<v Speaker 1>What were you going to say?

1:03:42.000 --> 1:03:42.160
<v Speaker 6>Though?

1:03:43.720 --> 1:03:48.520
<v Speaker 3>He just moved out with my ex husband. So he's

1:03:48.560 --> 1:03:52.840
<v Speaker 3>not with me, but he is with my ex with

1:03:52.960 --> 1:03:55.880
<v Speaker 3>his dad, which is a good situation. They have a

1:03:56.000 --> 1:04:00.160
<v Speaker 3>nice new house and he's remarried now but again and

1:04:00.200 --> 1:04:04.080
<v Speaker 3>he's just in his room now, in the basement, not

1:04:04.240 --> 1:04:09.000
<v Speaker 3>being social, not getting a job, same pattern as he's

1:04:09.040 --> 1:04:10.680
<v Speaker 3>had for the last couple of years.

1:04:10.720 --> 1:04:14.280
<v Speaker 2>And does he play games? Like what does he do

1:04:14.320 --> 1:04:14.920
<v Speaker 2>in the basement?

1:04:17.200 --> 1:04:19.800
<v Speaker 3>I mean he has his own room's down there. This

1:04:19.840 --> 1:04:22.120
<v Speaker 3>is a new house. It's a nice big house, but

1:04:22.320 --> 1:04:25.000
<v Speaker 3>like video games, it's mainly video games. He had a

1:04:25.040 --> 1:04:29.440
<v Speaker 3>girlfriend for the last four almost five years.

1:04:31.840 --> 1:04:36.720
<v Speaker 1>What happened there.

1:04:34.640 --> 1:04:35.760
<v Speaker 2>He was moving.

1:04:38.000 --> 1:04:41.640
<v Speaker 3>It was probably about four weeks ago, and then he

1:04:41.760 --> 1:04:44.720
<v Speaker 3>moved two weeks after that, about an hour and a

1:04:44.760 --> 1:04:48.000
<v Speaker 3>half away from me. And uh where his girlfriend is too?

1:04:48.280 --> 1:04:51.479
<v Speaker 3>Uh she lives in this area. But so now he's

1:04:51.520 --> 1:04:55.160
<v Speaker 3>a little bit further from everybody with his dad, and

1:04:55.320 --> 1:04:59.000
<v Speaker 3>I think fills more secluded. When you know, want therapy,

1:04:59.120 --> 1:05:02.720
<v Speaker 3>He's reached out, but you know, now he's eighteen, I

1:05:02.760 --> 1:05:05.680
<v Speaker 3>can't make appointments for him anymore, and he won't call

1:05:05.840 --> 1:05:10.000
<v Speaker 3>to make any Yeah, perhaps.

1:05:09.320 --> 1:05:12.240
<v Speaker 1>To you don because you're really I mean, he's eighteen.

1:05:12.480 --> 1:05:15.280
<v Speaker 1>If you really wanted to, you could be like, hey,

1:05:15.440 --> 1:05:17.680
<v Speaker 1>figure it out yourself, kid, but you're like a real

1:05:17.720 --> 1:05:21.120
<v Speaker 1>mom dad, like figure it out. Yeah. I mean, I

1:05:21.480 --> 1:05:23.680
<v Speaker 1>really commend you for I mean, you're clearly putting in

1:05:23.720 --> 1:05:24.439
<v Speaker 1>the effort here.

1:05:24.600 --> 1:05:27.600
<v Speaker 2>But I also I mean clearly I'm not sure what,

1:05:27.880 --> 1:05:32.760
<v Speaker 2>but yeah, he's your baby, and he probably has like

1:05:33.040 --> 1:05:37.240
<v Speaker 2>depression or anxiety, honestly, and to be and when you're

1:05:37.280 --> 1:05:40.560
<v Speaker 2>feeling like that, it's it's really hard to like motivate

1:05:40.600 --> 1:05:43.120
<v Speaker 2>yourself to pick up a phone and cool therapist. It's

1:05:43.240 --> 1:05:47.360
<v Speaker 2>really hard. And right, has he opened up to you

1:05:47.400 --> 1:05:51.400
<v Speaker 2>about like if he has any mental health concerns.

1:05:51.640 --> 1:05:54.960
<v Speaker 3>Yes, he's always had a very open relationship. He's come

1:05:55.000 --> 1:06:00.200
<v Speaker 3>out before that he was bisexual live four years years

1:06:00.200 --> 1:06:03.320
<v Speaker 3>ago to me, has talked to me openly about things.

1:06:03.400 --> 1:06:05.280
<v Speaker 3>You know, he's had a girlfriend for the last couple

1:06:05.280 --> 1:06:08.160
<v Speaker 3>of years as well, but you know, openly says he's

1:06:08.640 --> 1:06:11.000
<v Speaker 3>open to any type of relationship in the future. And

1:06:11.400 --> 1:06:14.480
<v Speaker 3>you know, so he's a very open minded person. He's

1:06:14.520 --> 1:06:18.800
<v Speaker 3>got good head on his shoulders. It's just this whole

1:06:19.080 --> 1:06:23.320
<v Speaker 3>anxiety I think about going out into public again and

1:06:23.320 --> 1:06:28.200
<v Speaker 3>and being with the population. He doesn't like going to

1:06:28.240 --> 1:06:31.240
<v Speaker 3>the store anymore. He won't go to the movies, he

1:06:31.280 --> 1:06:34.040
<v Speaker 3>won't go out and eat dinner, he won't go do

1:06:34.080 --> 1:06:37.120
<v Speaker 3>anything publicly. And I'm not sure why.

1:06:38.200 --> 1:06:38.960
<v Speaker 1>And that changed.

1:06:39.040 --> 1:06:42.200
<v Speaker 2>He lost two years.

1:06:44.520 --> 1:06:47.320
<v Speaker 3>It was before the pandemic a little bit as well,

1:06:47.480 --> 1:06:49.760
<v Speaker 3>you know, and then I think that just made it worse.

1:06:51.280 --> 1:06:53.960
<v Speaker 2>Have you spoken to his guilt? Well, now ex go

1:06:54.040 --> 1:06:55.840
<v Speaker 2>from But did she ever mention anything to you?

1:06:58.520 --> 1:06:58.680
<v Speaker 1>Oh?

1:06:58.760 --> 1:07:01.840
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean they were they were both young, you know,

1:07:01.880 --> 1:07:04.600
<v Speaker 3>they were high school sweethearts. So they were all through

1:07:04.640 --> 1:07:11.120
<v Speaker 3>high school together and young love. That's what I talk

1:07:11.240 --> 1:07:14.919
<v Speaker 3>all relationship up to, because you know, a little love

1:07:15.280 --> 1:07:17.800
<v Speaker 3>here and there, and it's it was young love.

1:07:17.960 --> 1:07:24.000
<v Speaker 1>So is he trying to do Is he trying to

1:07:24.000 --> 1:07:27.439
<v Speaker 1>get a job or go to college or anything at all?

1:07:29.400 --> 1:07:31.440
<v Speaker 3>No, he talks about it. I want to do it.

1:07:31.480 --> 1:07:34.280
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna I'm gonna go out. His dad's gonna take

1:07:34.320 --> 1:07:36.800
<v Speaker 3>him out tomorrow. They'll they'll go around town. He'll go

1:07:36.840 --> 1:07:42.560
<v Speaker 3>online look for jobs.

1:07:39.760 --> 1:07:41.760
<v Speaker 1>He always talking about but never doing it.

1:07:43.080 --> 1:07:43.320
<v Speaker 6>Yep.

1:07:44.920 --> 1:07:51.600
<v Speaker 2>I mean the amazing thing that you know, he sounds

1:07:51.640 --> 1:07:54.640
<v Speaker 2>so self aware, which I think is so rare for

1:07:54.760 --> 1:08:00.600
<v Speaker 2>someone that age, which is a huge positives from my

1:08:01.240 --> 1:08:03.320
<v Speaker 2>personal thing. I don't know if this is correct, but

1:08:04.000 --> 1:08:06.600
<v Speaker 2>you can't really force anyone to do anything until they

1:08:06.880 --> 1:08:07.080
<v Speaker 2>do it.

1:08:07.200 --> 1:08:08.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was gonna say that this is a really

1:08:08.720 --> 1:08:11.000
<v Speaker 1>tough anytime anyone you know, calls into this and is

1:08:11.000 --> 1:08:13.480
<v Speaker 1>talking about something, you know, whatever the relationship is, mother son,

1:08:13.960 --> 1:08:17.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, boyfriend, friend, whatever it is. It's so so

1:08:17.280 --> 1:08:20.960
<v Speaker 1>difficult these kinds of situations because like you clearly care,

1:08:21.080 --> 1:08:23.680
<v Speaker 1>you care enough to call in to talk to two

1:08:23.720 --> 1:08:25.920
<v Speaker 1>geckos about it, you care enough that you're invested in

1:08:25.960 --> 1:08:29.479
<v Speaker 1>your son's life. But it's so fucking hard because it

1:08:29.479 --> 1:08:31.479
<v Speaker 1>doesn't matter how much you care, and it doesn't matter

1:08:31.560 --> 1:08:33.599
<v Speaker 1>how much you're trying. It doesn't matter what you say.

1:08:34.439 --> 1:08:38.559
<v Speaker 1>But at the end of the day, whether you're his mother,

1:08:38.760 --> 1:08:44.120
<v Speaker 1>whether you're whatever, you can't make anyone do anything. It's

1:08:44.120 --> 1:08:47.720
<v Speaker 1>a tough just fact of life that you have to accept.

1:08:48.320 --> 1:08:50.639
<v Speaker 1>And so I think that you, I mean, for your

1:08:50.640 --> 1:08:55.799
<v Speaker 1>own personal sanity, Dawn, you know, I think you provide

1:08:55.800 --> 1:08:59.760
<v Speaker 1>as much support as you can. You let him know

1:08:59.840 --> 1:09:03.519
<v Speaker 1>that you're there for him, and then at the after

1:09:03.600 --> 1:09:07.120
<v Speaker 1>you've done all that, it's like, you can't when he's eight,

1:09:07.200 --> 1:09:11.120
<v Speaker 1>you can't drag him into his life. And it's a

1:09:11.160 --> 1:09:12.160
<v Speaker 1>tough thing to accept.

1:09:12.160 --> 1:09:15.519
<v Speaker 2>But I think, but you are honestly being such a beautiful,

1:09:15.600 --> 1:09:18.840
<v Speaker 2>caring person to him, and for him to be so

1:09:18.880 --> 1:09:20.800
<v Speaker 2>self aware at that age, like, oh my god, when

1:09:20.840 --> 1:09:25.080
<v Speaker 2>I was eighteen and didn't even I was like, definitely

1:09:25.120 --> 1:09:30.800
<v Speaker 2>not that, not that, like I was, yeah, you know.

1:09:31.200 --> 1:09:33.320
<v Speaker 2>But I think also at that age he's just so

1:09:34.000 --> 1:09:36.360
<v Speaker 2>lost in this onny. I think it's just like a

1:09:36.360 --> 1:09:39.560
<v Speaker 2>lot going on in the world right now. So I

1:09:39.840 --> 1:09:42.400
<v Speaker 2>think just being supportive and trying to enco I mean,

1:09:42.760 --> 1:09:45.640
<v Speaker 2>one thing I thought about is what if you and

1:09:46.320 --> 1:09:52.559
<v Speaker 2>his father and his wife got together and spoke about

1:09:52.560 --> 1:09:53.440
<v Speaker 2>it together.

1:09:54.080 --> 1:09:56.599
<v Speaker 1>Like a little intervention, even just with the.

1:09:56.520 --> 1:09:58.360
<v Speaker 2>Three of you. I think it might be intimidating with

1:09:58.400 --> 1:09:58.800
<v Speaker 2>your kid.

1:10:00.439 --> 1:10:02.519
<v Speaker 3>That might be something in the future that we can do.

1:10:02.760 --> 1:10:05.960
<v Speaker 3>Me and my ex have a better relationship now. You're

1:10:06.000 --> 1:10:09.800
<v Speaker 3>married twenty two years and divorced for almost six now,

1:10:09.920 --> 1:10:12.559
<v Speaker 3>so we have a better relationship now than we did

1:10:12.600 --> 1:10:15.400
<v Speaker 3>the twenty two years we were married, so we talk,

1:10:15.680 --> 1:10:19.920
<v Speaker 3>you know a lot. Yeah, now so that his wife

1:10:19.960 --> 1:10:23.320
<v Speaker 3>and I have met many times, you know, I've so

1:10:23.360 --> 1:10:25.559
<v Speaker 3>that wouldn't be a problem to be able to do

1:10:25.600 --> 1:10:27.640
<v Speaker 3>something like that if it's and I think in the

1:10:27.680 --> 1:10:30.880
<v Speaker 3>future that needs to happen, because I don't want to

1:10:30.920 --> 1:10:35.320
<v Speaker 3>see him keeping this up for another year and another year,

1:10:35.360 --> 1:10:37.160
<v Speaker 3>because it goes by so fast.

1:10:38.200 --> 1:10:44.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think until yeah, I think, well, if it

1:10:44.800 --> 1:10:48.920
<v Speaker 2>makes you feel better, I was a freaking idiot when

1:10:49.720 --> 1:10:50.560
<v Speaker 2>oh my gosh.

1:10:50.479 --> 1:10:52.719
<v Speaker 1>What's tough. Thing? I mean, that's the thing is if listen,

1:10:52.800 --> 1:10:55.559
<v Speaker 1>here's the thing is if the next you know, if

1:10:55.600 --> 1:10:57.880
<v Speaker 1>this year, next year, the year after that don't work

1:10:57.920 --> 1:11:00.960
<v Speaker 1>out for him, you know, he's he's not out of

1:11:00.960 --> 1:11:03.160
<v Speaker 1>help yet. He's got planning, Pilly more years left on

1:11:03.200 --> 1:11:05.120
<v Speaker 1>this earth to be a human being, So it might

1:11:05.160 --> 1:11:07.840
<v Speaker 1>just take him a little bit longer. But it sounds

1:11:07.840 --> 1:11:08.840
<v Speaker 1>like he has.

1:11:08.479 --> 1:11:14.280
<v Speaker 2>A stable support network around him, which is amazing, and honestly,

1:11:14.360 --> 1:11:17.599
<v Speaker 2>it might be worth just calling your ex husband up

1:11:17.640 --> 1:11:20.320
<v Speaker 2>and his wife and being like, hey, guys, what should

1:11:20.360 --> 1:11:22.920
<v Speaker 2>we do, and like coming up with a little plan

1:11:23.000 --> 1:11:25.640
<v Speaker 2>together if he can't, if he's got too much anxiety

1:11:26.200 --> 1:11:28.439
<v Speaker 2>to call a therapist or find a therapist, because I

1:11:28.479 --> 1:11:31.680
<v Speaker 2>think actually making that first step is really difficult. I

1:11:31.680 --> 1:11:34.120
<v Speaker 2>think if he finally decided to do it, it would

1:11:34.120 --> 1:11:38.439
<v Speaker 2>be easier, but just that first, you know, step into

1:11:38.479 --> 1:11:43.639
<v Speaker 2>that is hard. So I don't know, maybe just talking

1:11:43.680 --> 1:11:46.240
<v Speaker 2>to the family and getting some support for that.

1:11:48.280 --> 1:11:56.960
<v Speaker 1>Don great down. Is there any other aspect of this

1:11:57.120 --> 1:11:59.880
<v Speaker 1>that you feel like we didn't cover or anything else

1:12:00.040 --> 1:12:02.080
<v Speaker 1>that you you want to say to me Alison or

1:12:02.120 --> 1:12:05.800
<v Speaker 1>the people of the computer before we go, No.

1:12:06.000 --> 1:12:08.720
<v Speaker 3>You guys have been actually wonderful. Was my first time

1:12:08.800 --> 1:12:12.439
<v Speaker 3>calling in and you yeah, first time going in and

1:12:12.680 --> 1:12:14.720
<v Speaker 3>it picked up right away and I got right through

1:12:14.760 --> 1:12:17.960
<v Speaker 3>to you, So it was meant to be that. Yeah,

1:12:18.000 --> 1:12:18.519
<v Speaker 3>thank you.

1:12:19.520 --> 1:12:24.280
<v Speaker 1>Of course, of course, good luck to you and to

1:12:24.360 --> 1:12:28.160
<v Speaker 1>your son, and you know I we appreciate you, you know,

1:12:28.280 --> 1:12:29.559
<v Speaker 1>clearly showing out of care.

1:12:31.400 --> 1:12:35.160
<v Speaker 3>Yes, awesome, thank you geckos A, have a good night.

1:12:35.240 --> 1:12:37.040
<v Speaker 2>Don What were you?

1:12:37.080 --> 1:12:37.920
<v Speaker 3>Thank you you too?

1:12:38.840 --> 1:12:41.120
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, what were you like at eighteen?

1:12:41.880 --> 1:12:44.840
<v Speaker 1>Was I like? At eighteen, let's see what was I doing?

1:12:44.880 --> 1:12:47.840
<v Speaker 1>I was like doing a lot of stand up, I

1:12:47.880 --> 1:12:51.280
<v Speaker 1>was making movies, I was playing. Yeah, I was like

1:12:51.280 --> 1:12:52.960
<v Speaker 1>make a little movies with my friends. That's what I

1:12:53.040 --> 1:12:56.760
<v Speaker 1>did in high school, like a little like comedy shorts

1:12:56.840 --> 1:12:59.959
<v Speaker 1>and like short films. We would like enter film festivals

1:13:00.120 --> 1:13:02.120
<v Speaker 1>and ship. Really yeah, it was awesome.

1:13:02.840 --> 1:13:04.639
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I want to see them.

1:13:04.840 --> 1:13:06.640
<v Speaker 1>You want to see them, I'll send you want to

1:13:06.680 --> 1:13:08.640
<v Speaker 1>they're all you know, it's fine is they're all on

1:13:08.880 --> 1:13:11.320
<v Speaker 1>every like the YouTube channel that like I'm going to

1:13:11.360 --> 1:13:14.080
<v Speaker 1>post this on if you're watching this right now on

1:13:14.160 --> 1:13:16.240
<v Speaker 1>YouTube dot com slash lyle forever, and you go to

1:13:16.280 --> 1:13:19.120
<v Speaker 1>my videos and you sort it by oldest. All of

1:13:19.160 --> 1:13:20.960
<v Speaker 1>the ship that I made in high school is still

1:13:21.600 --> 1:13:24.439
<v Speaker 1>up on this channel. I never I didn't like to

1:13:24.439 --> 1:13:27.800
<v Speaker 1>take no, I think I think people. I mean it's

1:13:27.800 --> 1:13:29.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't I don't like, I don't like promote it,

1:13:29.960 --> 1:13:34.120
<v Speaker 1>but it's there, you know. I Occasionally I'll get like

1:13:34.160 --> 1:13:37.559
<v Speaker 1>a comment on old videos that's like this is the

1:13:37.600 --> 1:13:40.760
<v Speaker 1>Gek before he was the Gecko, and I'm like, hell, yeah,

1:13:40.760 --> 1:13:42.439
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad people are finding that stuff.

1:13:42.760 --> 1:13:46.920
<v Speaker 2>Whoa, that's crazy. Very like you're writing as well, like

1:13:46.960 --> 1:13:51.360
<v Speaker 2>writing these films and yeah, sick, so sick.

1:13:51.479 --> 1:13:53.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I had a guy, a good and it was

1:13:53.680 --> 1:13:55.320
<v Speaker 1>I did it with all my friends and all the

1:13:55.360 --> 1:13:57.920
<v Speaker 1>people I made those movies with, I'm still really good

1:13:57.960 --> 1:14:04.519
<v Speaker 1>friends with. So whoa, Yeah, yeah, I've had a nice life.

1:14:04.760 --> 1:14:08.960
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I love that for you, Thanks Allison.

1:14:08.680 --> 1:14:12.240
<v Speaker 2>Like what a great gecko. Thank you turned out to be. Well,

1:14:12.280 --> 1:14:13.799
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna go watch them honestly tonight.

1:14:14.280 --> 1:14:14.559
<v Speaker 1>Please.

1:14:14.720 --> 1:14:17.240
<v Speaker 2>When I when I can't sleep, I go through YouTube

1:14:17.400 --> 1:14:20.719
<v Speaker 2>and I just like watch people's like I go deep

1:14:20.800 --> 1:14:21.599
<v Speaker 2>in their channels.

1:14:21.680 --> 1:14:23.960
<v Speaker 1>But watch if you're gonna watch anything, what and if

1:14:23.960 --> 1:14:26.080
<v Speaker 1>anyone listens to this is going to watch an old

1:14:26.520 --> 1:14:29.879
<v Speaker 1>movie of mine from high school. Watch watch a Passion

1:14:30.040 --> 1:14:34.080
<v Speaker 1>for Espionage. I'm in you can find that. A passion

1:14:34.120 --> 1:14:34.599
<v Speaker 1>for espion.

1:14:34.720 --> 1:14:35.639
<v Speaker 2>That's gonna be me tonight.

1:14:35.960 --> 1:14:37.759
<v Speaker 1>What were you like when you were eighteen?

1:14:39.120 --> 1:14:41.719
<v Speaker 2>I was actually a classical cellist and I was living

1:14:41.720 --> 1:14:42.240
<v Speaker 2>in Europe.

1:14:43.400 --> 1:14:46.679
<v Speaker 1>What Yeah, you were a classical Yeah.

1:14:46.560 --> 1:14:48.400
<v Speaker 2>I still play it at Red Rocks I was playing.

1:14:48.400 --> 1:14:49.839
<v Speaker 2>So that's why I write strings and stuff.

1:14:49.960 --> 1:14:52.519
<v Speaker 1>I love that for you because you went from because

1:14:52.560 --> 1:14:56.920
<v Speaker 1>you play like modern like elect me, like electronic music

1:14:56.960 --> 1:15:00.320
<v Speaker 1>that's like music of the fucking future, And to be

1:15:00.360 --> 1:15:01.200
<v Speaker 1>a cellist that's.

1:15:01.080 --> 1:15:03.000
<v Speaker 2>Like music polarity, right, yeah.

1:15:03.040 --> 1:15:04.479
<v Speaker 1>Very very much. Yeah, the polarity of that.

1:15:05.200 --> 1:15:07.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. My entire background is I was a classically trained

1:15:07.880 --> 1:15:11.960
<v Speaker 2>cellist and then came back and then went fuck it,

1:15:12.160 --> 1:15:15.479
<v Speaker 2>like after studying and you know, spending my entire life

1:15:15.800 --> 1:15:18.360
<v Speaker 2>eight hours a day doing scales, and I'm gonna join

1:15:18.400 --> 1:15:20.559
<v Speaker 2>it a punk band. And I joined a punk band

1:15:20.840 --> 1:15:23.040
<v Speaker 2>and I was like fuck that. I'm going to make

1:15:23.120 --> 1:15:25.800
<v Speaker 2>my own music on a computer where it can make

1:15:25.920 --> 1:15:29.599
<v Speaker 2>all the sounds myself. And that's how that happened.

1:15:29.680 --> 1:15:32.160
<v Speaker 1>Do you still listen to punk music? Yeah, there's a

1:15:32.479 --> 1:15:35.519
<v Speaker 1>there's a there's an Australian punk band that I really

1:15:35.560 --> 1:15:39.800
<v Speaker 1>like you. Yeah. I think they're newled called Amal and

1:15:39.840 --> 1:15:40.640
<v Speaker 1>the Sniffers.

1:15:40.800 --> 1:15:42.920
<v Speaker 2>I love them so cool.

1:15:43.040 --> 1:15:45.160
<v Speaker 1>She's so cool. I saw her at Coachella.

1:15:45.439 --> 1:15:46.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god.

1:15:46.240 --> 1:15:48.040
<v Speaker 1>I was like, these guys rock.

1:15:48.000 --> 1:15:49.880
<v Speaker 2>They fucking rock the roll.

1:15:49.960 --> 1:15:51.600
<v Speaker 1>Hell yeah, I like that.

1:15:51.960 --> 1:15:54.120
<v Speaker 2>Shout out Ammal and the Sniffers. We we like you

1:15:54.120 --> 1:15:54.880
<v Speaker 2>guys a lot.

1:15:54.960 --> 1:15:56.599
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, I definitely I want to see them next

1:15:56.600 --> 1:15:58.559
<v Speaker 1>time that they're I think they were.

1:15:58.439 --> 1:16:01.679
<v Speaker 2>At She's so cool. She's got the crazy stage presence.

1:16:01.880 --> 1:16:04.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, she's just just like walks like walking around like

1:16:04.680 --> 1:16:05.880
<v Speaker 1>fuck it and like love it.

1:16:06.720 --> 1:16:07.439
<v Speaker 2>It looks cool.

1:16:07.520 --> 1:16:09.320
<v Speaker 1>She does look very very cool, she has like a

1:16:09.360 --> 1:16:11.919
<v Speaker 1>good like she's like a great voice.

1:16:12.000 --> 1:16:15.320
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, everything, I like it.

1:16:15.400 --> 1:16:18.840
<v Speaker 1>Do you so from punk and cellicism?

1:16:19.200 --> 1:16:19.800
<v Speaker 2>Cellicism?

1:16:19.880 --> 1:16:23.519
<v Speaker 1>Do you incorporate any of those sounds into what you do? Now?

1:16:24.720 --> 1:16:26.680
<v Speaker 2>There's a lot of strings in my songs and it's

1:16:26.800 --> 1:16:30.160
<v Speaker 2>usually me on cello. And when I like, when I

1:16:30.240 --> 1:16:32.679
<v Speaker 2>talk about punk like, it's kind of just I don't

1:16:32.760 --> 1:16:36.000
<v Speaker 2>like to like if my vocal there's like a song

1:16:36.000 --> 1:16:37.640
<v Speaker 2>weird sound in it, I like to keep it in there.

1:16:37.840 --> 1:16:39.439
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I don't know how punk that is, but

1:16:39.840 --> 1:16:42.000
<v Speaker 2>I mean I think just being yourself these days is

1:16:42.479 --> 1:16:43.400
<v Speaker 2>very punk, I guess.

1:16:43.439 --> 1:16:45.840
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, do you still go to punk shows?

1:16:47.080 --> 1:16:49.760
<v Speaker 2>I used to until like maybe five years ago, and

1:16:49.800 --> 1:16:53.040
<v Speaker 2>now I just sit at home and call music when.

1:16:52.840 --> 1:16:54.519
<v Speaker 1>You go, when you go out places like you go

1:16:54.560 --> 1:16:56.040
<v Speaker 1>to the music shows and stuff, do a lot? Do

1:16:56.080 --> 1:16:56.840
<v Speaker 1>people come up to you?

1:16:56.880 --> 1:16:56.960
<v Speaker 6>And?

1:16:57.080 --> 1:16:59.960
<v Speaker 1>Holy al, I wonder, yeah, how is that great?

1:17:00.080 --> 1:17:04.400
<v Speaker 2>As well? It's fine like everyone I actually tweeted on

1:17:04.439 --> 1:17:07.400
<v Speaker 2>my side account today, just like everyone I've met usually

1:17:07.400 --> 1:17:11.400
<v Speaker 2>like really really fucking cool and creative and great and

1:17:12.439 --> 1:17:14.320
<v Speaker 2>but that I remember when I was living in New

1:17:14.400 --> 1:17:17.639
<v Speaker 2>Zealand last year for a little bit, Uh, I was

1:17:18.880 --> 1:17:23.719
<v Speaker 2>walking down the street with like literally I can't explain,

1:17:23.800 --> 1:17:28.599
<v Speaker 2>like the most unshowered hair up and a pony. I'd

1:17:28.600 --> 1:17:33.040
<v Speaker 2>been working on the album type thing and I was

1:17:33.080 --> 1:17:35.479
<v Speaker 2>walking to get cheese because I wanted to make myself

1:17:35.520 --> 1:17:39.280
<v Speaker 2>a cheese platter. And this girl was walking down the

1:17:39.320 --> 1:17:43.320
<v Speaker 2>street in Wellington in New Zealand, and I looked up

1:17:43.360 --> 1:17:45.200
<v Speaker 2>and she was crying and I was like, oh my god.

1:17:45.360 --> 1:17:47.920
<v Speaker 2>And I didn't it didn't again, like my perception of

1:17:47.960 --> 1:17:48.880
<v Speaker 2>me is I always.

1:17:48.600 --> 1:17:50.880
<v Speaker 1>Forget that people my public person.

1:17:51.360 --> 1:17:53.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't think about it. And actually it happened to

1:17:54.000 --> 1:17:55.240
<v Speaker 2>the end of the day. Someone came up and they're

1:17:55.240 --> 1:17:56.800
<v Speaker 2>like Allison. I was like yeah, and they went to

1:17:56.840 --> 1:17:58.240
<v Speaker 2>hug me, and I was like, who do it? And

1:17:58.240 --> 1:18:00.519
<v Speaker 2>then I realized that people know you. Yeah, but I

1:18:00.520 --> 1:18:03.080
<v Speaker 2>didn't like and I flinched and I felt so bad

1:18:03.080 --> 1:18:04.960
<v Speaker 2>because I just come out of acupuncture. So I was like,

1:18:05.080 --> 1:18:09.320
<v Speaker 2>oh sure, and then but yeah, she was crying, and

1:18:09.360 --> 1:18:12.920
<v Speaker 2>I was like, just like being a good civilian, I

1:18:12.960 --> 1:18:13.960
<v Speaker 2>was just like, are you okay?

1:18:14.160 --> 1:18:16.479
<v Speaker 1>Like you thought she was just like a and then

1:18:16.520 --> 1:18:18.000
<v Speaker 1>she just was like you're.

1:18:17.920 --> 1:18:21.320
<v Speaker 2>Some church like changed my life and like started crying.

1:18:21.360 --> 1:18:22.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh, my god, no, you need a hug,

1:18:23.360 --> 1:18:25.880
<v Speaker 2>and so we had like a really good hug. It's nice.

1:18:25.920 --> 1:18:28.920
<v Speaker 2>And then actually at Red Rocks, I was freaking out

1:18:29.120 --> 1:18:33.559
<v Speaker 2>because the truck broke down carrying my stage and was

1:18:33.680 --> 1:18:37.120
<v Speaker 2>only up an hour before the show. It was like

1:18:37.200 --> 1:18:41.080
<v Speaker 2>a fucking disaster. And so I was doing soundcheck when

1:18:41.120 --> 1:18:43.800
<v Speaker 2>doors were opening, and so I was singing and checking

1:18:43.800 --> 1:18:46.160
<v Speaker 2>my vocals and there was a girl working at Red Rocks,

1:18:46.160 --> 1:18:48.120
<v Speaker 2>and I didn't know where to go, so I just

1:18:48.160 --> 1:18:50.639
<v Speaker 2>walked up to her and then turned out she knew

1:18:50.680 --> 1:18:52.360
<v Speaker 2>the song, and we had like a big hug and

1:18:52.400 --> 1:18:53.479
<v Speaker 2>it made me feel better.

1:18:53.640 --> 1:18:56.960
<v Speaker 1>So that's nice. Nice everywhere you go you had you

1:18:57.040 --> 1:18:58.400
<v Speaker 1>run into these like moments.

1:18:58.720 --> 1:19:02.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm really it's really nice. I don't go out though,

1:19:02.160 --> 1:19:04.920
<v Speaker 2>I myself sometimes have a little bit of anxiety going

1:19:04.960 --> 1:19:05.960
<v Speaker 2>out and going to party.

1:19:06.040 --> 1:19:07.519
<v Speaker 1>So I'd like to are you not? Are you not

1:19:07.560 --> 1:19:08.240
<v Speaker 1>a party person?

1:19:08.439 --> 1:19:10.840
<v Speaker 2>I not really, And when I did in the past,

1:19:10.880 --> 1:19:13.599
<v Speaker 2>it was, you know, I would be in the corner

1:19:13.960 --> 1:19:18.160
<v Speaker 2>or I just feel better behind the decks or alone

1:19:18.200 --> 1:19:18.679
<v Speaker 2>in my room.

1:19:18.880 --> 1:19:21.600
<v Speaker 1>What is it about the party environment that gives you anxiety?

1:19:22.000 --> 1:19:25.760
<v Speaker 2>I just don't think I'm naturally off stage unless it's

1:19:25.760 --> 1:19:27.599
<v Speaker 2>like one on one and like I feel a connection

1:19:27.680 --> 1:19:31.120
<v Speaker 2>with someone, I don't really feel extroverted.

1:19:31.520 --> 1:19:33.640
<v Speaker 1>Do you ever? Do you ever feel as though you

1:19:33.880 --> 1:19:38.000
<v Speaker 1>have some type of like public persona that that you

1:19:38.120 --> 1:19:39.080
<v Speaker 1>pressure to live up to.

1:19:39.240 --> 1:19:39.400
<v Speaker 7>Never?

1:19:40.320 --> 1:19:42.599
<v Speaker 2>I never do. Like what you read on my Twitter

1:19:42.680 --> 1:19:45.240
<v Speaker 2>is one hundred percent word vomit from my head to

1:19:45.280 --> 1:19:47.320
<v Speaker 2>my mouth, I mean from my head to my fingers.

1:19:48.080 --> 1:19:52.919
<v Speaker 2>And you know, I'm very much like my songs are

1:19:53.040 --> 1:19:58.559
<v Speaker 2>very much my words, my lyrics, real experiences. There's really

1:19:58.600 --> 1:20:00.600
<v Speaker 2>nothing about me that's not me. It's more just like

1:20:00.600 --> 1:20:03.559
<v Speaker 2>I get overwhelmed when there's like a lot of things

1:20:03.600 --> 1:20:07.960
<v Speaker 2>going on, and I'm not like, I don't know you do.

1:20:07.960 --> 1:20:11.040
<v Speaker 1>You feel like over stimulated sometimes very much? That's interesting

1:20:11.040 --> 1:20:13.639
<v Speaker 1>because I feel like the universe that you live in

1:20:14.000 --> 1:20:17.959
<v Speaker 1>of like electronic music is all about stimulation.

1:20:18.200 --> 1:20:20.920
<v Speaker 2>But when you're like hyper focused and you're in your zone,

1:20:21.000 --> 1:20:24.200
<v Speaker 2>it's not that does that make sense? When I'm taken

1:20:24.240 --> 1:20:26.040
<v Speaker 2>out of it, Like even walking in a shopping mall

1:20:26.560 --> 1:20:29.960
<v Speaker 2>or whatever, if it's like too loud or too many

1:20:30.000 --> 1:20:32.600
<v Speaker 2>people or there's too many lights, like I'm like ah,

1:20:32.800 --> 1:20:38.120
<v Speaker 2>and I don't know, Yeah, I'm just kind of I

1:20:38.120 --> 1:20:40.320
<v Speaker 2>think a lot of people are like that and they

1:20:40.360 --> 1:20:41.080
<v Speaker 2>just don't talk about it.

1:20:41.120 --> 1:20:42.960
<v Speaker 1>What do you do all the time? Do you like

1:20:43.000 --> 1:20:44.759
<v Speaker 1>read books? Do you have on the internet.

1:20:44.920 --> 1:20:48.040
<v Speaker 2>I say it's actually a joke. When the pandemic happened,

1:20:48.680 --> 1:20:53.960
<v Speaker 2>my parents joked that I was in heaven because I

1:20:54.040 --> 1:20:57.719
<v Speaker 2>was alone in a room all the time. I'm always

1:20:57.760 --> 1:20:59.280
<v Speaker 2>alone in a room, you know. I tour, I'm a

1:20:59.360 --> 1:21:04.360
<v Speaker 2>solo artist, so it's it's just kind of my comfort zone.

1:21:04.360 --> 1:21:08.879
<v Speaker 2>My comfort thing is being in like a small space

1:21:10.080 --> 1:21:10.719
<v Speaker 2>in my head.

1:21:11.760 --> 1:21:15.679
<v Speaker 1>There's, you know, this interesting beautiful contrast of like one

1:21:15.720 --> 1:21:19.240
<v Speaker 1>moment you're in front of what like ten thousand people

1:21:19.520 --> 1:21:22.559
<v Speaker 1>at a show like Red Rocks or something, and then

1:21:22.840 --> 1:21:26.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, there's all the stimulations everyone and everything all

1:21:26.000 --> 1:21:29.599
<v Speaker 1>the time, and then you afterwards sit in a little room.

1:21:30.000 --> 1:21:30.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

1:21:30.200 --> 1:21:32.679
<v Speaker 2>I actually can't really be around people afterwards. It's really

1:21:32.680 --> 1:21:37.200
<v Speaker 2>hard because I'm I'm so giving every single ounce of

1:21:37.200 --> 1:21:40.599
<v Speaker 2>myself outward when I'm playing. I love it. It's actually

1:21:40.600 --> 1:21:42.800
<v Speaker 2>my face. It's the most I feel myself is when

1:21:42.800 --> 1:21:46.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing that. So either that or just like sitting

1:21:46.320 --> 1:21:48.639
<v Speaker 2>in my studio, it's like the most I feel myself. Ever.

1:21:49.120 --> 1:21:51.160
<v Speaker 1>What do you do after a show? How do you decompress?

1:21:51.320 --> 1:21:54.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm just like alone, Yeah, I'm alone, and like, yeah,

1:21:56.080 --> 1:21:58.160
<v Speaker 2>my crew kind of jokes like I'm very easy. She

1:21:58.200 --> 1:22:03.479
<v Speaker 2>just sits alone. Really do anything? Yeah? Occasionally, Like I'll

1:22:03.479 --> 1:22:08.519
<v Speaker 2>go to a party, but I can't really remember the

1:22:08.600 --> 1:22:11.519
<v Speaker 2>last time I just went to a party. If I

1:22:11.520 --> 1:22:13.040
<v Speaker 2>want to see like one of my friends playing, like

1:22:13.080 --> 1:22:15.840
<v Speaker 2>I love going to live music, that's always fine, Like

1:22:15.880 --> 1:22:18.120
<v Speaker 2>and I actually like that. I can wear a mask

1:22:18.200 --> 1:22:21.360
<v Speaker 2>now and just kind of just chill. But I love

1:22:21.439 --> 1:22:24.200
<v Speaker 2>watching live music and going to see my friends play,

1:22:24.240 --> 1:22:27.920
<v Speaker 2>and you know, that's obviously what I'm passionate about. But

1:22:28.640 --> 1:22:30.320
<v Speaker 2>if I was just at like a normal party, I

1:22:30.439 --> 1:22:31.639
<v Speaker 2>just want to be behind the decks.

1:22:31.680 --> 1:22:33.160
<v Speaker 1>Do you do you do you? You don't like? Do you

1:22:33.200 --> 1:22:34.280
<v Speaker 1>like to schmooze at all? No?

1:22:34.479 --> 1:22:36.040
<v Speaker 2>I hate it? I hate it. I hate it. And

1:22:36.360 --> 1:22:39.320
<v Speaker 2>it's been a huge It's like my number one anxiety

1:22:39.800 --> 1:22:42.920
<v Speaker 2>is I never a'm around backstage. People think I'm cold,

1:22:42.960 --> 1:22:46.120
<v Speaker 2>but I just have anxiety, Like I sit in my trailer.

1:22:46.840 --> 1:22:50.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm a terrible networker. I find it really difficult to

1:22:51.080 --> 1:22:54.800
<v Speaker 2>DM people or approach people. I always have I always

1:22:54.880 --> 1:22:57.000
<v Speaker 2>like felt from my gut that if someone fucked with me,

1:22:57.040 --> 1:22:59.719
<v Speaker 2>they would just like organically fuck with me. Sure, and

1:23:00.160 --> 1:23:03.920
<v Speaker 2>I find it like really hard to put myself out

1:23:03.960 --> 1:23:06.880
<v Speaker 2>there like that and try and sell myself true. Yeah,

1:23:07.040 --> 1:23:10.400
<v Speaker 2>it's really doesn't seem genuine. And I really can't operate

1:23:10.400 --> 1:23:12.400
<v Speaker 2>when something's not genuine. It's really difficult, and I have

1:23:12.479 --> 1:23:14.920
<v Speaker 2>a terrible poker face. It's a joke as well. You

1:23:14.960 --> 1:23:16.960
<v Speaker 2>can tell when I'm not in a when I'm like

1:23:17.000 --> 1:23:19.519
<v Speaker 2>not fucking with someone and it's not I'm never mean,

1:23:19.560 --> 1:23:21.800
<v Speaker 2>I just like I can't look at them in the eyes.

1:23:21.840 --> 1:23:24.840
<v Speaker 1>I can't like, well, it's an interesting thing you brought

1:23:24.920 --> 1:23:27.880
<v Speaker 1>up of, like you know, you saying that people think

1:23:27.920 --> 1:23:30.360
<v Speaker 1>that you are cold. Sometimes even it's just anxiety.

1:23:30.360 --> 1:23:31.280
<v Speaker 2>This just get nervous.

1:23:31.479 --> 1:23:33.080
<v Speaker 1>I mean, there's a lot of I think like when

1:23:33.120 --> 1:23:36.599
<v Speaker 1>people you know, act a certain around a lot.

1:23:36.640 --> 1:23:39.479
<v Speaker 2>It's usually actually around artists when I'm meeting like no

1:23:39.760 --> 1:23:43.560
<v Speaker 2>like normal people, but like people that aren't in the industry.

1:23:43.880 --> 1:23:46.400
<v Speaker 2>It's just like the backstage energy or the energy of

1:23:46.439 --> 1:23:51.000
<v Speaker 2>people doing schmoozing. For me, my intuition, my body can

1:23:51.040 --> 1:23:53.599
<v Speaker 2>sense when things are not genuine. And look, there are

1:23:53.720 --> 1:23:55.840
<v Speaker 2>so many amazing genuine people in the industries. So I'm

1:23:55.880 --> 1:23:58.519
<v Speaker 2>not saying this is like it, but even just feeling

1:23:58.560 --> 1:24:00.880
<v Speaker 2>that one time for me is like enough for me

1:24:00.960 --> 1:24:03.120
<v Speaker 2>to leave the room. I can't be around it. It's

1:24:03.160 --> 1:24:07.120
<v Speaker 2>really difficult, and I get really like grow like not gross,

1:24:07.280 --> 1:24:09.240
<v Speaker 2>I just like energy wise, I can't be around it.

1:24:09.280 --> 1:24:10.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how to tell you.

1:24:10.360 --> 1:24:12.240
<v Speaker 1>Or do you feel like you're good at reading people's

1:24:12.320 --> 1:24:13.400
<v Speaker 1>intentions and energy?

1:24:13.479 --> 1:24:13.639
<v Speaker 7>Yeah?

1:24:13.640 --> 1:24:15.160
<v Speaker 1>And whatnot? Very interesting?

1:24:15.240 --> 1:24:18.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah interesting, it's like really easy for me. I

1:24:18.160 --> 1:24:20.599
<v Speaker 2>think that also just comes from life experience. I'm like,

1:24:20.880 --> 1:24:23.720
<v Speaker 2>my intuition has always been strong, but like following it

1:24:23.760 --> 1:24:25.640
<v Speaker 2>now and really listening to it, I'm really good at it.

1:24:25.720 --> 1:24:27.439
<v Speaker 1>Have you ever had been in a situation or I

1:24:27.439 --> 1:24:31.679
<v Speaker 1>had a time where you your intuition was wrong? No? Never,

1:24:32.040 --> 1:24:32.719
<v Speaker 1>no never.

1:24:32.880 --> 1:24:36.320
<v Speaker 2>I mean it's funny I've ignored my intuition and then

1:24:36.360 --> 1:24:38.960
<v Speaker 2>I've been right, you know, or like the thing where

1:24:38.960 --> 1:24:41.320
<v Speaker 2>you say you make up a new narrative sure to

1:24:41.439 --> 1:24:45.080
<v Speaker 2>like convince yourself otherwise when you're dedicated to something sure sure.

1:24:45.240 --> 1:24:48.200
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, like my intuition's always been right and I

1:24:48.200 --> 1:24:50.519
<v Speaker 2>should have fucking listened to it earlier. But you know,

1:24:50.600 --> 1:24:52.840
<v Speaker 2>whatever you learn, you live in your line.

1:24:53.040 --> 1:24:55.639
<v Speaker 1>I like that. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, yeah, I

1:24:55.680 --> 1:24:58.400
<v Speaker 1>try to. I try to follow my intuitions sometimes, but

1:24:58.439 --> 1:25:02.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm curious. I'm I am always checking my intuition because

1:25:02.040 --> 1:25:04.679
<v Speaker 1>I can never know everything.

1:25:05.720 --> 1:25:07.400
<v Speaker 2>I mean, we don't know everything. That's why we try

1:25:07.439 --> 1:25:10.960
<v Speaker 2>and ignore it sometimes. But your gut, your gut's very strong.

1:25:11.360 --> 1:25:14.080
<v Speaker 2>We feel vibes.

1:25:14.760 --> 1:25:18.680
<v Speaker 1>You never like think about your gut intuition and you're like, oh,

1:25:18.720 --> 1:25:20.679
<v Speaker 1>maybe I'm fucking wrong all the time.

1:25:20.880 --> 1:25:22.960
<v Speaker 2>Like now not so much, but yeah, like when I

1:25:23.000 --> 1:25:26.240
<v Speaker 2>would change, like if someone doesn't feel right to me,

1:25:26.280 --> 1:25:31.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't really, I'm like no, But you know, back

1:25:31.760 --> 1:25:33.160
<v Speaker 2>in the day, we be like, oh but I can

1:25:33.240 --> 1:25:35.920
<v Speaker 2>fix that person, or like maybe I'm wrong because there's

1:25:35.960 --> 1:25:38.760
<v Speaker 2>this part of them and it's more like a wide eyed,

1:25:38.800 --> 1:25:43.840
<v Speaker 2>do wide approach to versus your intuition. And now I'm

1:25:43.840 --> 1:25:45.360
<v Speaker 2>just kind of like nap.

1:25:45.760 --> 1:25:49.400
<v Speaker 1>Well, I feel like if you've had a lot of experience, I've.

1:25:49.200 --> 1:25:53.439
<v Speaker 2>Met so many people, you know, like so many people,

1:25:53.479 --> 1:25:56.120
<v Speaker 2>I've met every single different type person you can imagine,

1:25:56.160 --> 1:25:59.559
<v Speaker 2>like touring that much like most years, I was like

1:25:59.600 --> 1:26:02.080
<v Speaker 2>seeing my bed once one month a year.

1:26:02.120 --> 1:26:04.480
<v Speaker 1>You know, you do you like people.

1:26:08.800 --> 1:26:13.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm very like I'm a very one on one person

1:26:14.400 --> 1:26:17.880
<v Speaker 2>and when I think someone's when I when I get

1:26:17.880 --> 1:26:21.800
<v Speaker 2>a really good like vibe with someone, I love them

1:26:22.120 --> 1:26:25.320
<v Speaker 2>like I'm and I love the idea of people and

1:26:25.320 --> 1:26:28.240
<v Speaker 2>what they can be. But I get a little disappointed

1:26:28.320 --> 1:26:31.760
<v Speaker 2>when I see what some people are capable of.

1:26:32.000 --> 1:26:34.680
<v Speaker 1>Have you have you had a lot of people like

1:26:34.760 --> 1:26:36.080
<v Speaker 1>disappoint you in your life.

1:26:38.280 --> 1:26:41.840
<v Speaker 2>I've had major disappointments from a few people, like really

1:26:41.840 --> 1:26:44.360
<v Speaker 2>big ones and the ones that you look every day

1:26:44.400 --> 1:26:46.639
<v Speaker 2>someone's going to disappoint you, But I brush them off.

1:26:46.920 --> 1:26:48.560
<v Speaker 2>I move on. I don't hold that grudge, like I

1:26:48.600 --> 1:26:52.280
<v Speaker 2>said earlier, like I'm I just take the l and go, Okay,

1:26:52.280 --> 1:26:55.719
<v Speaker 2>well you know now I know not to waste energy

1:26:55.720 --> 1:26:58.240
<v Speaker 2>on that person or whatever. But yes, I've had some

1:26:58.320 --> 1:27:03.200
<v Speaker 2>big l's from like like a few instances in my life,

1:27:03.240 --> 1:27:09.000
<v Speaker 2>and I, yeah, really got majorly in the pit because

1:27:09.000 --> 1:27:10.000
<v Speaker 2>of it.

1:27:10.040 --> 1:27:14.280
<v Speaker 1>Has it has it like permanently affected your your perceptions

1:27:14.320 --> 1:27:16.000
<v Speaker 1>of people? These these l's that you're.

1:27:15.840 --> 1:27:17.639
<v Speaker 2>Talking, Oh yeah, it made me better, Like it made

1:27:17.640 --> 1:27:20.479
<v Speaker 2>me a better person actually in what way, Like I'm

1:27:20.479 --> 1:27:23.920
<v Speaker 2>not bitter at any of it. It actually again like

1:27:24.000 --> 1:27:27.920
<v Speaker 2>taught me gratitude for like other perspectives of other things

1:27:27.960 --> 1:27:30.760
<v Speaker 2>that turned out from those situations, because in hindsight, I

1:27:30.800 --> 1:27:32.960
<v Speaker 2>was like, oh fuck, I'm so fucking glad that happened then,

1:27:33.320 --> 1:27:35.600
<v Speaker 2>because now this and that led to that to that

1:27:35.680 --> 1:27:37.439
<v Speaker 2>to that, and without that, that would have been here.

1:27:37.840 --> 1:27:39.200
<v Speaker 2>And so I try and think of it like that,

1:27:39.720 --> 1:27:42.800
<v Speaker 2>and you know, I believe in karma and I have

1:27:42.840 --> 1:27:44.479
<v Speaker 2>to just like let it go because I don't want

1:27:44.479 --> 1:27:45.400
<v Speaker 2>to stretch.

1:27:45.720 --> 1:27:49.160
<v Speaker 1>You're following the timeline and you're like, well, everything that

1:27:49.160 --> 1:27:49.799
<v Speaker 1>has happened.

1:27:49.600 --> 1:27:50.880
<v Speaker 2>To me very donny daarko wing.

1:27:51.360 --> 1:27:54.760
<v Speaker 1>Sure. I watched that movie a while ago. I'm trying

1:27:54.760 --> 1:27:56.559
<v Speaker 1>to remember the.

1:27:56.600 --> 1:27:58.880
<v Speaker 2>Song from that, which one echoing the Bundy.

1:27:58.720 --> 1:28:01.600
<v Speaker 1>Mandic kind of Gary.

1:28:01.400 --> 1:28:04.120
<v Speaker 2>Jule's cover of Tears for Fears, Mad World.

1:28:04.200 --> 1:28:06.960
<v Speaker 1>Mad World. Yeah, yes, anyway, I.

1:28:07.000 --> 1:28:10.200
<v Speaker 2>Don't even know that soundtrack's amazing, echoing the Bunnyman, the

1:28:10.280 --> 1:28:10.760
<v Speaker 2>Killing Man.

1:28:11.280 --> 1:28:13.800
<v Speaker 1>Do you think from all the people that you've met

1:28:13.840 --> 1:28:18.280
<v Speaker 1>in your personal experiences, do you believe in general that

1:28:18.880 --> 1:28:22.640
<v Speaker 1>people are good or at the very least have good intentions.

1:28:23.080 --> 1:28:24.920
<v Speaker 2>I do, and I have read this book called The

1:28:24.960 --> 1:28:27.400
<v Speaker 2>Four Agreements, and one of the biggest takeaways I got

1:28:27.400 --> 1:28:29.439
<v Speaker 2>from it was to never take anything personally and the

1:28:29.439 --> 1:28:31.400
<v Speaker 2>way that people react towards you, because a lot of

1:28:31.400 --> 1:28:35.320
<v Speaker 2>the time they're projecting and so again, like everyone has

1:28:35.360 --> 1:28:37.320
<v Speaker 2>their own narrative going on, and I like to believe

1:28:37.360 --> 1:28:40.800
<v Speaker 2>that at people's core, unless you're a psychopath or a

1:28:40.840 --> 1:28:44.720
<v Speaker 2>sociopath and you feel emotion, there is guilt that you

1:28:44.760 --> 1:28:46.000
<v Speaker 2>feel and you have to live with. You might not

1:28:46.040 --> 1:28:49.360
<v Speaker 2>show it to everyone, but you know, I do believe

1:28:49.400 --> 1:28:52.840
<v Speaker 2>that there's reasons behind everything, and I'm pretty philosophical in

1:28:52.840 --> 1:28:55.800
<v Speaker 2>the way that I see things. But that doesn't like,

1:28:55.880 --> 1:28:58.559
<v Speaker 2>that doesn't soften me. Like, if someone I feel like

1:28:58.720 --> 1:29:02.719
<v Speaker 2>is not going to positively affect my life, I don't

1:29:03.040 --> 1:29:06.280
<v Speaker 2>really let them in. And that was something I had

1:29:06.320 --> 1:29:08.400
<v Speaker 2>to learn to do because I was usually.

1:29:08.200 --> 1:29:10.639
<v Speaker 1>It's a it's a skill. I mean, you're I think

1:29:10.640 --> 1:29:12.720
<v Speaker 1>you're talking about like just trying, and it's a lot

1:29:13.120 --> 1:29:17.080
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of thematically what we're talking about ties

1:29:17.120 --> 1:29:19.520
<v Speaker 1>into a lot of our calls. You're just being intentional

1:29:19.560 --> 1:29:22.840
<v Speaker 1>about your life, you know, intentional about the people you

1:29:22.880 --> 1:29:24.000
<v Speaker 1>bring in, intentional about the things.

1:29:24.200 --> 1:29:27.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's really important if someone constantly feels like they're

1:29:27.120 --> 1:29:32.040
<v Speaker 2>draining you and like not bringing like you're not uplifting

1:29:32.080 --> 1:29:34.240
<v Speaker 2>each other. You just might not be right to be

1:29:34.280 --> 1:29:37.519
<v Speaker 2>hanging with each other. Sure, you know, maybe someone that

1:29:37.560 --> 1:29:40.599
<v Speaker 2>they meet is better for them and will uplift them.

1:29:40.600 --> 1:29:43.519
<v Speaker 2>And you know that's I have to think of it.

1:29:44.479 --> 1:29:46.200
<v Speaker 1>Would you like to take more phone calls?

1:29:46.320 --> 1:29:46.519
<v Speaker 2>Hell?

1:29:46.640 --> 1:29:48.479
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, DARB is that you?

1:29:49.200 --> 1:29:50.519
<v Speaker 7>Yes, it's made Arb.

1:29:50.960 --> 1:29:52.479
<v Speaker 4>You can call me Brad for sure.

1:29:53.920 --> 1:29:55.839
<v Speaker 1>Okay, how's it going, Brad?

1:29:57.520 --> 1:30:01.760
<v Speaker 2>Because Bradford, But.

1:30:06.520 --> 1:30:07.160
<v Speaker 1>What's going on?

1:30:07.280 --> 1:30:07.479
<v Speaker 5>Man?

1:30:07.720 --> 1:30:11.680
<v Speaker 7>And uh, nothing much. I just you know, wanting to

1:30:11.720 --> 1:30:16.960
<v Speaker 7>call in talk about my grandson Bubby. But before that,

1:30:17.000 --> 1:30:19.200
<v Speaker 7>I just wanted to say I really enjoy you'll show

1:30:19.320 --> 1:30:23.200
<v Speaker 7>and you know, God boss all and God bless you too.

1:30:25.640 --> 1:30:28.400
<v Speaker 7>You guys doing a really good job, you know, God

1:30:28.439 --> 1:30:33.320
<v Speaker 7>bless and not bought and you know leading kings into

1:30:33.360 --> 1:30:37.080
<v Speaker 7>Gording Lord and O g backtw and God bless my

1:30:37.240 --> 1:30:41.799
<v Speaker 7>Chrmain and Brett Hart and Owen Wilson, and God bless

1:30:42.000 --> 1:30:47.559
<v Speaker 7>Richard Christie, so Howard Horne and Robbin and God bless

1:30:47.439 --> 1:30:52.960
<v Speaker 7>us in the city chiefs, and God bless Jesus. Then

1:30:53.040 --> 1:30:54.080
<v Speaker 7>we don't have God.

1:30:54.840 --> 1:30:57.839
<v Speaker 6>And uh, you know, God bless g g Allen.

1:30:58.320 --> 1:31:11.839
<v Speaker 1>You know, so Brad, So Brad so Brad, Brad, Brad,

1:31:14.280 --> 1:31:14.960
<v Speaker 1>oh you hung up?

1:31:15.760 --> 1:31:17.599
<v Speaker 2>I feel like Bless g Allen.

1:31:18.320 --> 1:31:21.680
<v Speaker 1>You know right, he like takes ships on stage.

1:31:22.200 --> 1:31:23.800
<v Speaker 2>Now people take ships on his.

1:31:23.760 --> 1:31:25.920
<v Speaker 1>Grave, and that's probably what he would have wanted.

1:31:26.040 --> 1:31:27.760
<v Speaker 2>That's what he wanted. They do it. He loves, He

1:31:27.760 --> 1:31:28.240
<v Speaker 2>probably loves.

1:31:28.400 --> 1:31:30.960
<v Speaker 1>You know. What he upsets me is when people hang

1:31:31.080 --> 1:31:32.559
<v Speaker 1>up on the bit. It's like, I don't know, you

1:31:32.560 --> 1:31:34.479
<v Speaker 1>can do a bit. I don't care, but if you're

1:31:34.479 --> 1:31:37.360
<v Speaker 1>gonna listen, if you just if you're gonna call in

1:31:37.840 --> 1:31:39.600
<v Speaker 1>and do a troller a bit, I don't care, but

1:31:39.680 --> 1:31:40.240
<v Speaker 1>don't hang up.

1:31:40.520 --> 1:31:42.599
<v Speaker 2>Let's talk forgot's make it funny.

1:31:42.760 --> 1:31:44.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't even care if it's funny. I just just

1:31:44.760 --> 1:31:46.599
<v Speaker 1>when they hang up, it's like we could have gotten

1:31:46.680 --> 1:31:47.280
<v Speaker 1>into something.

1:31:47.640 --> 1:31:49.639
<v Speaker 2>No, yeah, but you know what, it was a nice

1:31:49.880 --> 1:31:51.880
<v Speaker 2>palate cleanser. It was.

1:31:51.920 --> 1:31:54.200
<v Speaker 1>But I will I will like who was that guy? What?

1:31:54.320 --> 1:31:55.600
<v Speaker 1>I have so many questions.

1:31:55.720 --> 1:31:58.519
<v Speaker 2>I love how it was like Kansas City chiefs g Allen.

1:31:58.560 --> 1:31:59.439
<v Speaker 2>I feel like he said.

1:31:59.200 --> 1:32:01.240
<v Speaker 1>Taco bell is he did say Taco bellt I.

1:32:01.200 --> 1:32:03.160
<v Speaker 2>Love that, Like God, bless talker.

1:32:03.280 --> 1:32:06.040
<v Speaker 1>Well, he was so scared, it was it was very

1:32:07.080 --> 1:32:08.880
<v Speaker 1>Why was he he was like scared. He thought that

1:32:08.880 --> 1:32:11.400
<v Speaker 1>we were gonna get mad at him. I'm not mad.

1:32:11.479 --> 1:32:12.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm not mad at you.

1:32:12.520 --> 1:32:15.479
<v Speaker 2>We agree, though I don't think God blessed talker belt why.

1:32:15.560 --> 1:32:17.360
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why he like was he thought he

1:32:17.400 --> 1:32:19.439
<v Speaker 1>was gonna get in trouble if he didn't hang up immediately, Like,

1:32:19.520 --> 1:32:20.120
<v Speaker 1>that's not that we.

1:32:20.040 --> 1:32:22.479
<v Speaker 2>Can Maybe you just need to get it out. Maybe

1:32:22.520 --> 1:32:24.080
<v Speaker 2>you just need to do some blessings and hung up.

1:32:25.120 --> 1:32:26.599
<v Speaker 2>This is the most comfortable outfit.

1:32:27.040 --> 1:32:28.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's nice.

1:32:28.240 --> 1:32:30.439
<v Speaker 2>Right, What if I rebranded and then I'm just like

1:32:30.439 --> 1:32:31.560
<v Speaker 2>a gecko, DJ.

1:32:32.040 --> 1:32:35.120
<v Speaker 1>Please do it. We need more visibility.

1:32:34.640 --> 1:32:37.760
<v Speaker 2>Geckos alizard Wonderland, Alizard Wonderland.

1:32:40.240 --> 1:32:45.040
<v Speaker 1>That's the name of this episode thematically. Okay, Allison, to

1:32:45.080 --> 1:32:49.559
<v Speaker 1>wrap up some themes. So we've experienced over the course

1:32:49.920 --> 1:32:50.880
<v Speaker 1>of no.

1:32:50.880 --> 1:32:54.280
<v Speaker 2>Fear taking, risks in a happiness, risk, the pit, being

1:32:54.320 --> 1:32:56.200
<v Speaker 2>prepared to fucking go through the pit.

1:32:56.400 --> 1:32:59.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I feel like forever everyone was kind of going

1:32:59.160 --> 1:32:59.679
<v Speaker 1>through a pit.

1:33:00.320 --> 1:33:04.280
<v Speaker 2>You know what, life comes in waves, order to disorder,

1:33:04.400 --> 1:33:06.240
<v Speaker 2>and then you need disorder to get back into a

1:33:06.240 --> 1:33:08.920
<v Speaker 2>different type of order. Always makes sense in the end.

1:33:10.600 --> 1:33:13.479
<v Speaker 1>Allison, thank you very much for doing this stream with me. Man,

1:33:14.520 --> 1:33:18.400
<v Speaker 1>what is there anything you want to say to the foe, Well,

1:33:18.600 --> 1:33:21.680
<v Speaker 1>tell us. I want to let you plug stuff. I

1:33:21.680 --> 1:33:22.559
<v Speaker 1>mean just any.

1:33:22.400 --> 1:33:25.960
<v Speaker 2>General nothing really to plug. Just if you haven't heard

1:33:26.000 --> 1:33:28.040
<v Speaker 2>of me, I would love for you to check that out.

1:33:28.200 --> 1:33:31.440
<v Speaker 2>I got new music dropping. But actually I just announced.

1:33:31.040 --> 1:33:34.559
<v Speaker 1>That now Alis in Wonderland on YouTube or spelled with

1:33:35.560 --> 1:33:37.439
<v Speaker 1>one L A L I s.

1:33:37.400 --> 1:33:42.679
<v Speaker 2>O N Wonderland, and I mean anywhere. I'm on Twitter, Instagram,

1:33:42.960 --> 1:33:47.080
<v Speaker 2>sometimes TikTok. I like looking at TikTok a lot, like

1:33:48.320 --> 1:33:50.280
<v Speaker 2>I try and do content, but I like to show

1:33:50.280 --> 1:33:52.559
<v Speaker 2>my shows on TikTok and it's fun. I don't really know.

1:33:52.640 --> 1:33:56.160
<v Speaker 2>I just look. If you vibe with me, check it out.

1:33:56.200 --> 1:33:59.320
<v Speaker 2>If you're not totally cool as well, Allison, it.

1:33:59.280 --> 1:34:02.719
<v Speaker 1>Has been honor Geking with you. Please check out Alice

1:34:02.760 --> 1:34:03.400
<v Speaker 1>in Wonderland.

1:34:03.640 --> 1:34:04.719
<v Speaker 2>That was Geking awesome.

1:34:05.120 --> 1:34:06.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was Geking awesome.

1:34:06.439 --> 1:34:07.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

1:34:07.200 --> 1:34:10.559
<v Speaker 1>I'm very excited to see our lizard Wonderland. Whenever you

1:34:10.640 --> 1:34:14.599
<v Speaker 1>do it, I love it. And this was a pleasure man.

1:34:14.640 --> 1:34:16.000
<v Speaker 1>Thank you very so good.

1:34:16.479 --> 1:34:20.400
<v Speaker 2>This is my dream to be a green thing.

1:34:21.520 --> 1:34:25.880
<v Speaker 1>Have a good night. Folks goes on the line taking

1:34:25.960 --> 1:34:26.840
<v Speaker 1>your phone calls.

1:34:26.920 --> 1:34:27.479
<v Speaker 3>Every night.

1:34:27.840 --> 1:34:30.400
<v Speaker 2>The beacon goes to on his eye. You're just teaching

1:34:30.479 --> 1:34:33.599
<v Speaker 2>you cloud in the of your life. That's not really

1:34:33.800 --> 1:34:34.560
<v Speaker 2>an expert